#lmao i need to stop thinking about this or else i'll just feel sick

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Is it too early for me to feel jewish rage because I'm still thinking about the rededication of a shul that two members of my shul are going to. I mentioned this in the tags of a previous post, but know why it's being rededicated to the jewish community? They had to sell the shul to the catholic church. That shul has existed for over a hundred years and a significant portion of its existence has been under ownership of the catholic church. And only now is that jewish community able to buy back their own shul. Maybe it hits harder now because I am in love with my shul, maybe it's because I know how hard it is to find a shul no matter how big the city is. Maybe I just think jewish things deserve to be with jews. Maybe I'm crazy!!

I'm just upset about it. And I know this is, like, 80% of jewish history, but it still makes me feel things.

[fuxuannie]

Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you 🤍🤍 you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive 😭

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader

* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.

* authors note : hi anon !!! (๑´ㅂ`๑) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !

* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.

DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.

He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.

So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.

God, your smile was so pretty.

After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.

"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"

He nods his head.

"Is it.. because of Sampo?"

He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.

Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"

Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"

"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."

He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."

You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."

JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.

He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.

You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.

And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.

Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)

GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.

So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.

Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.

So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."

Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.

"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

L0v3 M3

Summary: You're both each other's escape but he can't tell you who he really is... Pairing: y/n x idol Yeonjun Word Count: 4.2k~ Warnings: Like one or two curse words lmao... that's it a/n: Requested by a lovely anon <3 I hope you like it :)

🟢  y/n is online

🟢 Yejun is online

Yejun: How's your day been? I haven't heard from you today :/

y/n: I am so sorry Yejun! Things have been pretty hectic at work and I wasn't even able to eat lunch today :(

Yejun: Oh my gosh that's horrible! How are you feeling? You must be exhausted! Have you eaten yet?

y/n: *send picture of your favorite food* Yup! I figured I would treat myself today!

Yejun: You definitely deserve it after the crazy day you had!

y/n: Enough about me though, how have you been? Did you do anything fun today? I know you said it was your day off so I hope you did :)

Yejun: Not really, I hung out with one of my roommates since we both ended up having today off so we just played some video games.

y/n: Oh did you guys try out that new game you said was coming out soon?

Yejun: Yeah we did! It came out on Friday but we didn't have time to check it out until now so it was fun trying to figure it out together. 

y/n: Did you win?

Yejun: Of course

y/n: As expected from my champion <3

I smile down at my phone after rereading your message for the 10th time before responding. "What are you smiling at?" Beomgyu says walking into the living room after waking up from his nap. "Nothing" I say locking and putting away my phone before another ding rings out notifying the both of us (unfortunately) of another one of your messages coming through.

"Doesn't look like it's nothing" Beomgyu says tilting his head trying to see my phone hidden behind my back. "Well either way it isn't any of your business I say defensively. "Yeonjun be honest, you're still talking to that girl aren't you?" he says, obviously disappointed in me. 

"So what? What's wrong with that?" I say continuing to defend myself. "She doesn't know who you are right? You know it could cause a huge scandal if-" "I'm being careful. But no, she doesn't know who I am. I know better than that" I say hoping the conversation is over and we can move onto something else. "You better..." he says trailing off.

"What's that supposed to mean? Last time I checked I was the hyung here. You really think you can talk to me like that?" I spit out getting fed up with him. "Okay I'm sorry I'll stop bugging you about it damn" he mumbles. "I'm sick of your disrespect Beomgyu. When are you gonna sto-" "Yeonjun that's enough" Soobin says walking into our dorm trying to defuse the situation. 

"You know what I'm done, I'm leaving" I say walking towards the door and heading outside. Luckily some of our staff are still hanging around outside since they had just dropped Soobin off. "Can you take me for a drive? I just need to get out of my head for a while" I ask knowing that taking a walk instead isn't really possible with my current idol status.

The staff nods and opens the car door for me before going over to the drivers side. "Do you have anywhere you would like to go or just somewhere away from the city?" he suggests and I'm happy to hear that he's able to read my mind. "Away from the city please, I need to get away from all the chaos" to which he nods and starts the car doing just as I had asked. 

I pull out my phone after our drive is underway and I remember that I had left you on read.

🟡 Yejun is busy → 🟢 Yejun is online

🟡 y/n is busy

The last message you had sent me was asking if I had any plans for the rest of the night. I'll be honest I downloaded this app with the intention of pretending to be someone else. I just wanted to be a normal guy, talking to normal people and having normal conversations. But when you're an idol that privilege gets ripped away from you and you don't realize how much you're going to miss it until it's too late. So my name on here is Yejun and he's basically me except with a new face and a new name.

Choi Yejun, Yes I know very creative but I did't want to lie too much

Age: 24

Birthday: September 12th which isn't a complete lie because it's the 12th in America but the 13th in Korea

Height: 6ft, yes I did add on an inch okay, sue me!

Blood Type: A

MBTI: ENFP

Education: Batchelor's degree in Music with a minor in dance. This one however is a lie laced with some truth okay, let me have this one. 

I got the pictures of "Yejun" off of instagram after looking through hundreds of accounts, trying to find one that fit my vibe. Luckily the account that I take the pictures from belongs to a very very narcissistic guy so I'm constantly getting new picture to send you if I need to. Do I feel bad lying to you? Yes of course.

I wasn't even planning on keeping this account for long. I just wanted to try and use it as some sort of escape. We met by chance and somehow along the way we just started messaging each other everyday and it's gotten to the point that I feel like there's something missing if I haven't heard from you that day. 

Some days are busier than others and I hate it. I wish I could just spend the day with you. Not just messaging you on my phone or computer but really spend time with you, in person. Somewhere along the way I started to fall for you. Don't ask me why or how, it kind of just, happened. I noticed it when I started to compare every woman I encountered to you, and none of them could live up to what you mean to me. Call me crazy but something in me is holding out the hope that someday we can be together, or at least meet. 

We've been talking to each other for months but I'm afraid that when I finally gain the courage to call you that you'll recognize my voice and that could be the beginning of the end for us. You're not even into Kpop like that, let alone my team (it hurt my ego a little bit but I got over it) but it still scares me. My attention is soon brought back to my phone as I see that you've come back online and responded to my message.

🟡 y/n is busy → 🟢 y/n is active

🟢 Yejun is active 

 Yejun: Hey sorry I got busy there for a second but no I'm free for the rest of the night. What about you? 

y/n: I'm free as well :)

Yejun: Good

y/n: Good?

Yejun: Yeah because you can pay attention to me after neglecting me all day :(

y/n: I already told you I was busyyyyyy 

Yejun: Yeah I know I was just teasing

y/n: If it makes you feel any better I really missed you <3

My breath hitches a bit at the confession. It's nothing big but for some reason it has my heart racing nonetheless.

Yejun: Yeah you better! But I missed you more ;)

y/n: Good, what are you up to?

Yejun: Nothing really, just relaxing, trying to clear my head.

y/n: Oh, is there something wrong?

Yejun: It's just that things have gotten really busy at work and I feel like I'm being stretched way too thin.

y/n: Could you maybe talk to your boss? See if there's anyways that someone could help you out?

Yejun: There's already four other people working with me so they can't really afford to spare anyone else. Plus it would throw us all off if someone else did join this late in the game. 

y/n: Oh okay that's understandable. You guys don't want to mess up the synergy you have going on right?

I smile happy that you're starting to understand me and my world without really knowing it. 

Yejun: Exactly! I couldn't have put it better myself :)

y/n: You know you can tell me anything right? I know that you like to keep things to yourself about you work and everything but if you're struggling with say your friends or you're feeling down then I'm always here <3

Yejun: Thank you y/n I really appreciate you and our friendship so much! You have no idea how much you've helped me since we first met. Life for me is just so fast paced so it's really nice to have someone who likes me for me and not for what I can do for them you know?

y/n: I totally understand, I feel the same way about you. Even though we haven't met in person I feel like you're the best friend I've ever had. Like a true friend, so thank you Yejun. You've made my days so much brighter and my nights so peaceful. I just don't know what I would do without you.

It's really me that needs you. Everything in my life from the age of 15 to 19 has been about debuting and now that I have it's just, well I don't know, things are just not the way I thought they would be. Seeing my Sunbaes debut before me just made me so excited at the prospects of someday following in their footsteps. I kept counting the days, waiting for that time to come when they would finally tell us we were going to debut. 

I was the first member of the team that would become Tomorrow x Together and the other guys trickled in bit by bit in 2016 and soon we were put together. It still took us about three years until we debuted but we worked hard every single day until we finally made it! 

A few months after we debuted though the pandemic hit, and everything about the way that idols and idol groups promoted their music and performed had completely changed. The day they told us that BTS had to postpone their world tour was the day that I knew everything was going to change.

It was hard being a new idol group and not being able to get the love, energy and support that most groups get. It just makes all of the hard work worth it when you get to see the look on people's faces and hear them cheering for you. Although my idol journey hasn't been the same as idol groups that debuted before me I wouldn't change it for the world.

The pandemic brought our team closer, but it also pushed us apart at times. Having to live together with the uncertainty of it all was nerve wrecking. It's all thanks to our Moa though, they really kept us going when times got tough. But even after the pandemic started to calm down I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that I had lost something and I wasn't sure how to find it. That's when I found you.

I had wanted to find some way I could escape from this whole idol world and just be me. Not Tomorrow x Together Yeonjun, just me Choi Yeonjun the kid who worked so hard for his dream and made it come true. I want people to like me for me, but things started to change with the people around me when I debuted. Some idols would try to befriend me, only to get closer to BTS and the friends that I had made before when I was still a trainee started to treat me differently now that I was "famous". 

The members of BTS and especially Namjoon hyung really helped me navigate this whole scene and always gave me the best advice. I watched them grow, from their tiny debut showcase and their even smaller fan meet, to their first win with I Need U. Everyday since the beginning I've seen what they're capable of and I want us to be that kind of group someday too.

Thanks to them they've opened up a lot of doors not only for us but for the whole industry. I'm always thinking of them and how much I've grown to love an support them, I always have and I always will. Plus they're all just so hilarious, they never fail to bring a smile to my face and I could never thank them enough. 

I know I'm rambling but those are the thoughts that go through my head when I try to process my life these days. There are days I want to say "Fuck this" and just leave, but there are other days that I just couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. It's come to a point where I don't think I could go on without being a part of this team, and that's gotten really unhealthy for me. This whole mindset I've found myself trapped in for these past few weeks has been utterly exhausting and the only thing that's kept me going has been you. 

I know I have my members and Moa and the company to rely on but I just want to be seen as a person, not an idol or an asset, just me. You've really brought me back down and helped me embrace my humanity again, as dramatic as that sounds it really is true. It's easy getting wrapped up in the glitz and the glamor of it all but having you really reminded me that I'm still my own person apart from all of this. It's just, I don't know...freeing I guess? Being able to just be myself, but I hate that I can't be my true self with you. 

I've adopted this persona that I have to stick to, for both of our safety. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I want to keep you away from all of this and keep your view of me as the same guy you've known this whole time. Yes with a new face and some tweaked physical traits but it's still me. I hope that someday if we get to meet that you won't hold it against me. I hope you'll realize that It was safer this way because I really want to keep you in my life but only for as long as you let me. 

y/n: Are you still there?

Yejun: Yeah I'm sorry I've got my head stuck in the clouds but I really do feel the same way :)

y/n: What's got you so distracted?

Yejun: Just life I just can't seem to separate myself from work you know? My work life balance isn't the best but unfortunately with the kind of job I have it's pretty much impossible to do so. 

y/n: I swear you get more and more cryptic everyday 

Yejun: I'm sorry I'll stop talking about it. What are you up to?

y/n: Nothing really, I just put on a show that I've seen before as background noise but I really have kept my night clear to talk to you and I'm glad it worked out :)

Yejun: Me too, but hey I have a question for you. Well more of a proposition...

y/n: You're scaring me but I'm all ears

Yejun: Would you maybe be free to talk right now? I just really need to hear your voice.

I've told you time and time again that I didn't feel comfortable talking on the phone but I think I need to make an exception for this time.

y/n: Are you sure? I mean yes I would love to talk to you but I just know you've been uncomfortable with the idea of calling but yes! Call whenever :)

I ask the staff to pull over into a pretty much abandoned parking lot hoping this will provide me with enough privacy. I step out of the car and let him know that I'm going to take a call and it might take a while, to which he nods and tells me not to wander off too far. 

My thumb hovers over the call button for a few moments before I finally take a deep breath and press it to start a call. It rings a few times and I can feel the anxiety build with every ring that plays until I hear a click telling me you've picked up. 

"Yejun?" I hear your voice resounds melodically.

"Um yeah hi" I say in english. Us living in different countries has also proved to be an obstacle in our relationship but it's honestly for the best. 

"Oh my gosh is it really you? I can't believe I'm actually hearing your voice!" you say clearly excited which releases so much tension I've been holding in my body all day. 

You've sent me voice notes before and if I'm honest I listen to them about twice a day but who knew that something as simple as actually speaking to you could make me feel so at peace. 

"Me neither, I don't know why I was so scared to call you but I'm so happy we are finally doing it" I say feeling like a new layer has been added onto our relationship.

"Me too, you've been sounding really down today though. I know you've already told me about it but is there anything I can do to help?" you ask.

"No it's okay love, why don't you tell me about your day instead?" I let out and start looking up at the stars. 

"Love?" you repeat, clearly surprised.

"Shit I mean-"

"No it's okay, I like it" you respond and I can hear how shy you've gotten from the accidental term of endearment.

"Really?" I ask now feeling embarrassed but also happy that you don't mind if I call you that. 

I've gotta try out other pet names to see how they will make you react because even if I can't see you I can clearly tell you're blushing. 

"Really" you say and the line goes silent for a while, neither of us knowing what we should say next. 

"So are you gonna tell me about your day silly?" I resort to, amused by your shyness. 

"Oh right, well when I got there this morning we..." you say telling me every little thing you could think about that had happened you today, and I mean it when I say that you tell me every detail but I can't help but find it incredibly endearing. 

"Yejun?" you say catching me off guard, I'm not really used to responding to that name when it's said aloud so it took me a second. 

"Hmm?" I hum in acknowledgement having lost track of your story.

"Were you even listening to me?" you laugh, clearly knowing the answer already.

I list off a few things that I had thought I had heard but unfortunately had gotten wrong.

"Yeah you said something about spilling your tea on yourself while you were at home and had to change again before you left right?"

"It was actually coffee and I spilled it on my coworker and they had to send it out for dry cleaning but luckily he keeps a spare set of clothes at his desk"

"Oh yeah and he said that you had to give him the money to pay for the dry cleaning"

"No he was really chill about it and I offered to buy him lunch as an apology so I went to go pick something up for us on our break so it would be ready for us during lunch"

"Right right and you went to go get fried chicken and they took forever" 

"I swear your mind is something else because it sounds like you know the plot but somewhere along the way lost all the details of the story" you say laughing at me and I know know now that I got it bad. I know it might seem foolish to say that I'm in love with someone that I haven't even met but there's just something about you.

"I'm sorry love, I just really love the sound of your voice so I kind of got lost in it. I'm not ignoring you I promise I guess that I'm just getting a little tired"

"Oh so I'm boring you to sleep?" you say sternly

"No y/n that's not what I meant I-"

"I know, I just wanted to hear how you would sound when you were panicked" 

"You're mean" I pout, really feeling scared that I already messed things up between us.

"Aw you love me" you say so simply that I choke on air before my mind can even fully process what she had just said.

"You okay over there?" you laugh clearly amused at my reactions to your teasing. 

"Yep *cough cough* all good" I say trying to calm myself down, this is so embarrassing, I don't even know how to respond to subtle flirting from you. It's come so easily to me when I'm with my members and even Moas but I guess since I don't have feelings for any of them like I do with you it's just a little more nerve wracking.

"Maybe I should let you go so you can get some sleep. It's probably really late over there right?" 

"Yeah I guess you're right. I just wish that the time difference didn't make things so difficult for us" I say taking a deep breath in and letting it out to calm myself. 

"Me too, but we finally spoke on the phone so at least that's something! We should do this more often!" you say trying to cheer me up. 

"Definitely! I'll let you know next time I'm free to call and you do the same for me okay? Maybe we could squeeze each other into our schedules a bit more" I say hopeful that something like that might work. 

"Sounds good. Goodnight Yejun" you let out in a melancholy tone.

"Have a good rest of your day love" I finish before hanging up. 

After finally getting back to the city and making our way to the dorm I'm reminded of the way I left in the middle of an argument. 

"Are you going to be okay Yeonjun?" the staff asks, clearly concerned knowing that something set off the need for this impromptu trip. "Yeah I just lost my temper but I'll be fine. Thank you for tonight, I know I kept you out for a lot longer than you're used to". "It's okay kid, I knew you needed it. Let me know if you need anymore late night drives again. Oh and Yeonjun" he calls out before I'm able to close the door. "I hope she's worth it" he says with a sad smile, clearly aware of what had just happened. "She is, don't worry" I say giving him a shy smile in return. "Have a good night, get home safe" I say and close the door after we finished saying our goodbyes. 

Walking in the door I'm greeted by the sight of Beomgyu sitting in the living room with a dim light providing us with a soft golden glow. "I really don't want to hear it tonight" I say starting to make my way to my room. "Please, I just want to apologize" he lets out, clearly remorseful. I stop in my tracks and think for a second before finally caving and sitting down on the seat opposite of him and wait for him to continue. 

"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today, it was uncalled for and I know that" he says pausing, giving me a chance to respond. "I know you're just concerned for the team and you're right, we have a duty to each other as a team but also we have a duty to each other as people. This has been going on for months and no one else has found out besides you because you're nosy" I say smiling at him, showing him a playful attitude rather than an accusatory one.

"I'm being careful don't worry okay? I wouldn't jeopardize the team like that. As much as it hurts me to have to keep my life a secret from her, she's very understanding about it all and isn't pushing me to tell her anything. Just please let me have this Gyu, I've got it under control" I say hoping we can leave it at that. "Okay, I trust you" he says and we sit in silence for a while until he speaks up. 

"You spoke to her on the phone tonight didn't you?" he asks with a sly smile. "No...yes...how do you know?" I ask confused as to how he could read me so quickly. "Because you looked so happy when you came in here verses how you left. A miracle had to have happened to curb that temper" he says clearly happy he was right. "Goodnight Beomgyu" I say and get up to make moves to go to bed, rolling my eyes at his cheekiness before I smack him upside the head and run off with him yelling and running after me. 

"Choi Yeonjun" I hear being yelled from inside of Soobin's room clearly having been woken up by our shenanigans. "Goodnight everyone" I yell back and close the door and lock it behind me providing me safety for the rest of the night. I let out and breath and shrug off the jacket I had been wearing and throw it on my desk chair and I soon hear a quite notification pop up and confused as to who it might be I pull out my phone right away and I smile instantly reading the message over and over and over again. 

y/n: Goodnight love talk to you tomorrow <3 

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[ghostherlig]

I actually dream of the day u write something bi-han/shang tsung omg...

ohhhh those two... they are so toxic in my mind fr- not that that's going to stop me from writing them, i do enjoy playing around with those relationship dynamics- esp since in my mind there's such a power imbalance between the two of them

the long-short of it is, bi han and shang tsung feed each others egos and bi han is very dependent on shang and his view of him to function well in their alliance- and shang uses that to his advantage at every turn bc all it takes to get bi han to change his mind is to plant a seed of doubt- aruashdfkjs

alternate version of them being a bit sweeter but possibly even hilariously like mk11 aftermath sindel and shao khan- literally "what bones of his shall i break for you, my love?" "mm. surprise me. <333" like that kind of so in love but toxic and cruel to literally everyone around them LMAO-

i am going to yap abt them for a moment bc i do have Some Personal Headcanons about the lin kuei and shirai ryu and shang tsung and how that all plays out post-mk1--

in my mind, kuai and tomas almost immediately separate from the lin kuei and form the shirai ryu in secret, cutting all communication with bi han-

and in my mind, bi han isnt happy about that, he does miss his brothers, even if he never admitted it to himself before that moment- it's also a personal hc of mine that bi han wouldnt have been such a shitty brother if it werent for the relationship he had with his parents- in my mind bi han was forced to spend a lot more of his time with his father and got to see things that kuai and tomas had no idea about-

think azula and zuko- bi han is his father's son, and his father used that to mold bi han into his version of the perfect warrior, and bi han shaped his expectations of himself and his brothers around that image as well

so, when kuai and tomas break off of him and "betray him" in his eyes, he's upset about it.

but he also gets shang out of it, and i feel like there's a golden opportunity there for some ✨One-Sided Codependency✨

shang tsung helps feed bi han's ego and personal security, which bi han needs now that he doesnt have anyone else to do it for him, and shang uses that to direct bi han where he wants him to focus. shang also uses the power he has over their alliance to get bi han to prioritize protecting him versus prioritizing the strength of his clan.

if they arent going to be toxic to each other, i feel like bi han would fall HARD for shang's intelligence and cunning. shang is so smart and he uses it for his own benefit, but bi han sees the practicality of it too and it just makes him crazy-

shang tsung would fall in love with how brutal and efficient bi han is- like bi han is very one-track-minded and shang can appreciate the brutality he approaches problems with.

and the two of them together? shang's mastermind with bi han's determination and brutality? they're a pair to be reckoned with, and it's terrifying- shang builds the groundworks for something evil and bi han gives him the men and the efficiency to get it done nearly overnight-

they both adore each other for their strengths but also see how they compliment each other and it takes a while for either of them to make a move but once they do their affections and relationship becomes so casual that it almost seems like it's always been that way...

god, thinking about them too hard fr... idk how quickly i'll be able to write smth for them but i will be thinking abt them for a while now, LMAO- i am sick so it might be longer than i'm hoping for, but i do have a few ideas in mind now.. arugrughaskdjf mk men ruin me 😔

[silawastaken]

this is just a little yap because I don't know really who to talk to about something like this so I'm screaming into the void instead, feel free to ignore <3

today i finally got pain medication that should help with the chronic pain I've been dealing with for roughly three years. I'm very obviously not upset about that fact, I am incredibly relieved actually and I'm really excited to see how I feel tomorrow after it hopefully begins to take affect.

However, this just feels very anti-climactic. I'm unsure how to word it (hence my unusually pretentious way of wording my sentences, I think it's a defence mechanism in response to the vulnerability-- detaching myself through the use of formal language), but it feels as though there should be... more?

I think this is rooted in a few different places, somewhere between the sense of loneliness I have yet to address since my mum moved out, and my need to prove that I am actually sick. Usually through every step of this my mother has been there, not neccassarily to 'hold my hand', as I first thought to put it, but as an observer. She was at least there for it. Through all the things I have tried.

Now, it's just like it's a normal night. I've talked about it a lot, persistent in my attempts to share how excited/nervous I am out the possibility of what a new medication may cause-- both in terms of pain relief and in terms of side affects and how my mental health may improve/worsen (at least if it worsens y'all can get some of the GOOD Dazai angst lmao) as a result.

But everyone else has something more important to do. It feels childish to ask my dad to just sit with me while I take it, I'm 15 so I should be able to do this by myself but there's just nobody there. Nobody's here while I try it, nobody will be there if it makes me feel sick or tired and I doubt I'll be asked how I feel in the morning. It goes past the medication, deeper than I could ever hope to pick apart in a tumblr vent post but this just to happens to be the catalyst for all the Feelings to start building up. I don't want to call my mother so she can sit on the other end of a phone line not paying attention for three minutes while I take medication that really isn't a big deal to anyone but me.

There's just normally somebody there and there isn't this time. There hasn't been for more than a year now but it's just different this time. Uhmmm anyway vent over I am now going to stop being a baby and take my meds 👍 I'm going to have some apple juice with them :3

[6okuto]

Hello friend are your requests open?? I saw your Cove in school hcs and would like to add: going to university w Cove 👀 if this is too similar to the school hcs feel free to ignore lol I am just having a Normal Amount of thoughts about this boy :')

(Imagine renting an apartment with him and basically living like a married couple tho........ him driving you to class when it rains so you don't have to walk........... lunch dates in the school cafeteria while you both complain about the shitty dining hall food..................)

Okay I'll stop here this is your writing blog lmao XD thank you in advance if you do take this request tho I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts!!

— cove university hcs

You Are So Real. as a uni student i feel sick to my stomach like WHY NOT ME? no cove for me? none for me????? sick sick sick sick

be real. cove asks "are you ready to go home?" and he smiles and it's especially the first few times that he blushes and grins at the thought of Having a Home With You.

^ very much jumped at the chance to live with you when you brought up the idea

cove had his schedule on his lock screen and yours on his home screen for a while. once the both of you figured out a routine and when you could find each other he switched it back to his usual photos (u r in them of course. how else is he going to motivate himself when he's studying)

he really really wishes he could have every single class with you which y'know,, unless you have the same major and same electives isn't going to happen. he gets much happier when you finally meet up after class

still, you guys definitely sat together and planned out your classes. both to try planning breaks together and also for general emotional support.

^ don't get me started on the morning of registration. the refreshing and tension for first year registration because you don't have a backup schedule? crazy.(also my uni website was Horrendously slow)

exam season is hell, obviously. cove checks on you periodically and asks how things are going. if you're prone to overworking his check-ins are how he gets you to take a break.

^ if you refuse he'll try to find a middle ground, but if he knows you need to rest cove Will get you to rest. he's frowning when he speaks. says a loving but firm "you won't be able to study well if you burn yourself out. can you take a break with me?"

exploring the campus with cove!! seeing the different buildings, finding different libraries, pretending you're different majors. you get it

^ the both of you walk around before the first day to figure out where your classes are. it's kind of tiring but you're prepared now so !

figures out what places you both eat at and will memorize your regular order so he can bring it to you

he talks to you whenever he feels homesick because who would understand better than you? you're his biggest source of comfort

the both of you watching those university student meal videos/tiktoks because dear god you can only handle campus food/restaurants for so long.

^ you also text your parents for their recipes and tips whenever you get particularly homesick

HIM DRIVING! gives you a Look when you say you can walk and it's raining or super cold. why would you even say that to him. if you can't drive, either he'll drive you or you walk together. there's no other options.

'sneaking' each other into the particularly big classes—especially the first year intro ones. i say 'sneaking' because it Isn't Difficult At All.

^ you end up just working on your own things, but the extra time together is always nice !!

thinking about cove forgetting his pencil (case) the day of an exam and asking you for one sheepishly. (said by girl who's done this twice.)

he'd love to tell you about what he learns from his major—i'd go ahead and assume it's in the realm of marine sciences. he'd tell you about something cool he learned or maybe already knew from his own research and get very excited !!

^ hopes you'll do the same with him. smth smth sharing is a love language smth smth

reading week and breaks. i just know this guy sighs as he looks at his study guides before saying "just a few more days," to himself. he needs you to remind him too because it's more comforting when he remembers he'll have time off with You

taking pictures together for yourselves and to update your families !!! teasingly taking photos of cove doing mundane things just because it's now at University. first lunch, first class, etc etc

cove totally supports you if you want to join a club or go to any events. he might not go to many, especially if they're bound to be crowded and loud, but he'll ask how it went and want to catch up

we all know there's a difference between high school morning classes and uni morning classes. but cove is a morning person and i can't imagine how many times i'd complain about a 10 am class while he woke up at 6 that morning

🏷 | @lordbugs @xfangirl-trashx @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @bakugosgrenade @vhenis @dreamtydraw

living together means it's that much easier for cuddle sessions after a long day (or any day.) cove is just as happy to come find you as he is to hold open his arms for you. whether you want to rant or have a distraction, he'll be there

**add on | COVE GETTING HIS ACCEPTANCE LETTER! you both opened it at the same time and the relief and excitement that washed over him was overwhelming.

[andesmints94]

I realized I said "self protecting Charlie" in the picture but I meant to say "self-projecting Charlie" which means that I'm putting pieces of me into him. But the original thing it says just sounds hilarious to me and idk why. Just about all these things are true of me. Well lately I've had to use a brace for my arm because of forearm and wrist tendon pain, probably from overuse. I am really upset with how tall he is... Of course I was gonna put hair on him but I just didn't feel like it... And his neck and chin almost make up half of his body. Maybe I'll submit a pic of him for reference and I think about this yellow man all the time lmao. I've gotten stretch marks from weight gain, not pregnancy, I've never been. I'm not diabetic as far as I know, but I have needed compression socks to reduce foot swelling but it's only my left foot. I have gotten more confident with my body, although I've had a hard issue with pinpointing my dysphoria. I want to wear a bikini of some sort, but except board shorts, and they usually don't have a bra size big enough. I have binded before but I'm wondering about looking into trans tape. I don't like under boob sweat and bras act as a buffer zone for that but I've gotten big. As far as packing goes, I used to try that but it just was too uncomfortable for me sensory wise. I do have STP devices but I hardly need to use them, I don't mind using the women's bathroom without one as long as nobody talks to me. Too nerve wracking to use the men's. I've been pretty sure I've had specific dysphoria for many years maybe a couple decades or half my life. I've thought about top surgery for the longest time, but I wonder how T would help me redistribute the fat. Don't even know if T is an option for me since I know my Dad passed from a sudden aortic rupture at 52. So that's something to keep in mind but I have some great news! My sister talked about it to me, it was just a very nice open conversation about T, she was just concerned about me testing my hormones first, which I will definitely do so. She has low estrogen and might need to take estrogen. And I think I might too, or maybe it's the beginning of pre menopause at 30? I'm still getting periods but my last two were about a week late or a week earlier. I'm not so uncomfortable with periods but it does make things harder for if I go on T (yeah I know that periods usually stop while on T but... Idk sometimes I spot after activities 🥴)... Don't really know if I'll be able to take gel either?? I mean I use lotion for my skin too, but usually at night. So maybe it's possible to do?? 🤔 Well options... I'm terrible at trying to figure out an actual name if "Andie" is good enough for me or if I need to find something else. Anyways yeah... Nose sniffles every day and I'm not sick I swear lol

[johnslittlespoon]

I love your bucky is dog fic so much!!! I reread it all the time it's so heart-warming and funny and just ahhh so good!! refreshing ao3 patiently and excitingly waiting for more<33

(a BIG mix of non–brainrot asks so i don't spam the timeline <33 some of these are from so long ago i'm so sorry. also lil disclaimer at the end about some specific asks i've been getting recently and why i won't be answering them! x)

1) !!?? you REREAD IT?? my heart wtf that's so sweet??? 😭💗 THANK U SM i will do my best to not let u down with future chapters even if shit gets a little bit angstier SDJKG <33

2) LMAO backseat gala–ing from the comfort of a couch 😭 judging the outfits as if they don't show up in plain tuxes half the time <3

3) <3333 thank u omg sjgkdk i'm so happy if my lack of stfu ability brings any bit of joy to anyone LOL

4) ILY THX LEGEND @air-exec u enable me too much <33

5) ALWAYS HAPPY TO INDULGE!! thank u for indulging my constantly rotting brain ur so kind 😭 <333

6) yaurrr i think it's just bc i do Not enjoy being around children LMAO i can't ever get into pregnancy/family dynamic type fics in general, i wish i could tho bc they're so wholesome :') but YEAH exactly ugh. it's like. the action of talking about it, especially when it's unattainable, is so intimate bc it's like an "i love you this much" thing. but it's also so hot bc the possession of it (and possible feminization depending on the pairing) sighhh

also i feel that sooo hard, sometimes you just gotta go where ur writing heart takes u yk? it's hard to write something if ur not fully invested :') and omg stop i WILL cry. 😭💗 wtf. thank YOU!! ofc i would read!! some ideas just /hit/ and urs is one of them <33 but also yes omg it's UP there (if not at the top) on my list of pwps i wanna write once i finish yad(iym) <33 thank you for sharing urs too and sending u good writing vibes regardless of what u write!!

7) GAHH this ones been on my ao3 read later since u sent this ask in!!! i literally have started a doc with links to moots fics i need to read/general fics i've stumbled across that look good and this one is for sure going in it. i do love reading sooo much, i just have the hell combo of adhd and dyslexia but i did start concerta a couple weeks ago which has def made it a bit easier to read lmfao thank fuck.

i think i just get in this headspace where i'm either a reader or a writer when i'm working on smth, idk if anyone else does this? i have a hard time slipping btwn both mindsets, i'm usually locked in on one at a time LOL but i need to get my shit together bc fuck everyone in this fandom writes so damn good and i want to leave long essays on all the fics and hype people up <33 i think once i finish the dog fic i'll take a few days to just consume my reading list to celebrate SJDGK

also omg i can't believe this ask is from before i even posted it that's crazyyy MY BAD. thank u and also that made me giggle JSKDG if that's my legacy in this fandom i'm honestly so happy ab that okay dog coded bucky is everything to me and i will do whatever i can to do him justice <333 and thank u again for the rec!

8) [ X ] UGHHH stop mammal RUINED me. he's soososoo pretty i want to die i think about that barry era as curt in the motaverse so often it makes me sick. i love pretty twinks!! xx (i have a whole motaverse au curtbucky where curt looks like 2012–ish barry and he's ken's age and they're cute lil mechanics together and it's so stupidly elaborate and niche and maybe i'll do smth w it one day who knows)

9) this is very sweet and i do appreciate you respecting my boundaries! thank you <3 i think a lot of people get annoyed at adults asking minors not to interact with nsfw posts on here bc the argument is always "they're gonna look even if you ask them not to" which, yeah, true! i was a teenager growing up online, i sure as hell did not let 18+ warnings stop me ever lmfaoo. i'm not telling minors to stay off my account because ik if people wanna find specific content, they're gonna find it. if teens are learning ab gay sex thru my blog, then at least they're learning ab it from a gay man who tries to keep things realistic in fic and who isn't a creep LOL.

that being said, i more so bar off minors interacting with my nsfw posts/writing bc i personally just feel uncomfortable discussing stuff like that with anyone who isn't an adult, and sometimes i don't have the time to check bios for ages (or sometimes bios don't have ages) before i reply to comments or whatever, so it's just easier to ask that y'all stick to the sfw so i don't accidentally brainrot some cooked shit with a child JSDJKG bc i would feel icky. i hope you understand <3

10) IT MAKES ME SICKKK. not only that, but when i was rewatching it with my irl last week, i realized that in e5 when bucky's smoking in the plane after gale goes down, he's sitting in the right (gale's) seat, which i'm pretty sure he doesn't do at any other time :((( like he was trying to be close to him in anyway he could </3

11) omg i've been meaning to watch that just to get a better inside look at stuff for world building purposes lmaooo but that sounds so wholesome :( i read that a lot of the guys would get real sad/touchy around holidays (obviously), so i could see a oneshot where one of them takes it upon themselves to try and cheer everyone up the best they can under their circumstances. a little found family holiday </33

12) thank u for the rec!! i'm suuuch a slow reader, i'm still working my way thru the actual mota book LOL but i've added this to my reading list <3 i think i might've actually read a couple excerpts from that one in doing research for my fic and it looks really interesting (and heartbreaking) so i'm sure i'll pick up a copy eventually :^)

13) oh 100% agree!! as someone who already isn't super interested in fashion/pop–culture, i find it very hard to look at the men's outfits and be blown away by any of them LOL but the women?? insane. was losing it over lana and zendaya's fits tonight ngl. hunter had me in a chokehold with last year's <3 tangent alright i always say this to my friends but i'm just jealous in general that women have so many more options in terms of clothes like.

okay listen i know i can leave my house in a skirt or crop top or whatever and a lot more guys are def starting to feel comfortable doing so. but i also enjoy not worrying about getting jumped or looked at funny! it's a lot safer than it used to be to do so, even in my small ass conservative town i'll sometimes put on some dangly earrings or a bit of rodrick–liner SJKDG but that doesn't mean it's normalized yet or whatever. point being that i wish it was because men's outfits would be sm more exciting at these fashion events if they had a wider range of options too!

but that aside, absolutely. until that changes, really it's not that hard for the men who are going with women (who don't want to go crazy with their outfits/who are more lowkey like you said) to just. wear something nice and on theme that compliments their partner's outfit and they'll be FINE. anything is better than something boring with no effort; effort doesn't have to equal crazy and fancy and elaborate. like austin's 2022 look has always been a standout to me because it was still a really nice look (even if it was simple) and it also worked so well because of who he had at his side. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i also literally don't know shit ab fashion so i rly shouldn't be speaking on it LOL. i just know some things make me go oh no and some make me go YUM

and that's probs the last i'll post about the met bc i rly don't care thaaaat much, i was just happy to see barry since he wasn't at the panel this weekend <3

OKAY THAT WAS SO MUCH I'M SORRY. i just felt really bad bc some of those have been sitting in my inbox for months bc i was waiting to compile them all into a post like this :-) but also one last thing, idk if it's bc of me stepping out of mota to talk ab the emmy stuff/the met this week, but i've had a couple gossip/drama(?) asks and i just wanna say rn that i won't be posting stuff like that, even though they've been worded kindly! one, because i rly only post about fic/brainrot/mota–fandom related stuff here (aside from rare exceptions like today lol). and two, because as much as i adore our boys and try to keep up with the things they're up to, i personally don't vibe with speculating about them (esp if it's in a way that kinda. forgets they are grown men who probably don't think twice ab some of the stuff that people think they do lolol). i have no issue with people who do like to talk ab that stuff, i follow update blogs and think it's totally fine as long as it's done respectfully! i just don't feel like talking about gossip fits the vibe here and frankly i don't care enough about what goes on behind the scenes half the time; i'm just here to create and support and be insane. <33 that's all, just wanted to say that so ppl aren't waiting to have those asks answered/aren't sending more in! x

[holocene-sims]

🥧👻🦃

thank you so much for the ask!! ❤️

🥧 Pie: Which of your characters takes care of the others around them? How do they take care of themselves?

tbh the very nice thing, i think, about my cast of characters is that most of them are very kind and caring towards others; it's rarer to find cold/uncaring characters.

however (and i know this is the obvious answer), grant is one of the most caring and generous of them all. by default, his primary method of caring is acts of service, aka making himself of use to someone. do you need someone to make you soup when you're sick, be your shoulder to cry on when you're having a shit day, or come pick you up when your car breaks down? he's your guy!

he's not super good at taking care of himself, though. lmao. but he's trying! his current method of taking care of himself is to actually heal his trauma. also, on a smaller note, he is a huge fan of a nice skincare routine and cooking a good meal, so that's one of his practical methods of cheering himself up.

btw aoife is exactly the same as him, let's be real

👻 Ghost: Do you have a character or a scene that continues to haunt you? Something or someone you wish you had done differently or just can’t stop thinking about?

automatically, there are two scenes that come to mind, and they were both some of the biggest scenes in the story thus far, so i think my unhappiness with them comes from the fact that this is a sims story and i have to take the fully developed movie from my brain and convert it into pictures and text, and it doesn't match up. no matter how aesthetic i make it or how many song links i add to make it more like the movie in my head, it never feels just right.

ANYWAY

that said, the first scene is the end of the bachelor party scenes where grant is like blackout drunk and hallucinating/dreaming in 2x speed about his history with addiction, and even though he is engaging with addiction in that moment, he's traumatized by it. i think it all played out well as a whole BUT the flashback scenes did not feel dynamic to me, and that's what they should have been. i wanted it to feel like you're dragged along through that hell and chaos with him, and like you're experiencing the same oppression from substances and the people who encouraged it, and it just didn't because it was made out of stationary pictures. also, i hate using poses for more than two sims, so the party pics were bland.

the other scene is really just the end of the ireland trip where you learn a lot more about aoife's backstory. i didn't get to spend as much time with those parts because i was quite literally in the middle of working on them when i got the call my grandma died, so i abandoned them for a hot minute, and when i came back, i wanted so badly to be DONE with all that content because it took on some bad associations for me and i couldn't think much about it.

i do think it came out okay but i would have added a couple other scenes expanding on things there instead of pushing it off to another set of scenes. like i would have had a conversation there where someone tangibly discusses what aoife's parents were really like, and i would have expanded on that contrast of aoife the real person and aoife the embodiment of everyone else's desires because she's supposed to be a representation of a specific female archetype in art (medea/cathleen ni houlihan/aoife nic mhurchada - a category of women who've lost agency and/or everything they've ever known, and have endured things like forced marriage/love or symbolize stuff like someone else's freedom, etc.)

i did just kind of spoil aoife's design lmao but it doesn't matter anymore because the literature aspect is more of a fun fact and only relevant in one specific case (if you remember grant reading cathleen ni houlihan...) and i'll come back to it later, but if you read between the lines enough, you at least see there are two aoifes (so to speak.)

🦃 Turkey: What’s the most abundant burst of inspiration you’ve ever had? Were you able to translate that into writing?

hmm this is an interesting question! i'd say one of the most abundant inspo moments i've had was when @crazykissim and i decided on grant's future love interest 👀 i obviously can't share too much because it's a huge spoiler rn but i've had so much fun constructing the romance aspect into the story, putting twists on classic romance tropes, and developing an interesting personality and history for [REDACTED]. i've even built MULTIPLE lots for the romance arc. you know i'm serious when i build lmaooooo

it is translated into writing, though! the final versions of everything aren't quite done but i do have drafts ready and a full timeline set in stone :)

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I was just listening to an old AHS podcast from 2013 and there was a moment that really rubbed me the wrong way. It's where they commented on the Emvan situation (which at the time the news was a few weeks old) and they made a "funny lil parallel" to the show in which Kyle gets his revenge on Madison and the hosts were like hihihi It was a full circle moment because now Emma can stop beating up Evan. Felt so mad at how lightly they were taking it but it was also a painful reminder of how lightly the situation was handled in general. Like a few weeks after Emma had abused Evan, Ryan decided to post a photo of bloody Evan with smiling Emma on Instagram on the set of Coven. Thinking of it now, it makes my stomach churn all over again at how sadistic this man is and it made me feel sick to think that Evan's pain as an abuse victim was never taken seriously but instead being ridiculed and dismissed since the very beginning. Knowing Ryan and how society was treating DV against men back then it would not surprise me that they were treating it as something comical and funny instead of the sensitive subject that it always was. That in return has probably made Evan feel even more confused, and it breaks my heart to think that he would have to play it off and be expected to laugh it off too because of how everyone around him just kept making him feel like it wasn't that serious. And the worst is that it's been going on for several years. That dynamic of Evan's feelings continually being dismissed so that others (creators, actors) could be elevated and could profit off of him. (Also in terms of his mental health and his boundaries never being respected)

Horrible times for Evan. I don't know If anyone else feels this way but it has also made me realize that whenever I remember how wrongly the situation was handled, and how it's NEVER been addressed and nothing has changed ever since (with Ryan still working with Emma, still no consequences for her career, Evan basically being a silent victim) it has called up this intense rage and need for justice in me on behalf of Evan which weirdly enough, gets triggered very easily. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely hope Evan has found peace with the situation and I would hate for him to relive these negative feelings. But as a fan who has witnessed everything from the start, I just feel like Evan has never gotten the justice he would have deserved. What I observed and what I found interesting is that I seem to not be the only one with these feelings. In fact, many Evan fans seem to have this trauma that has made us feel very protective and inflammatory even about the tiniest of rumours about him. With any of my other faves I'll usually just shrug it off and be like yeah whatever, rumors will pass, but with Evan it's like... No. I am not going to allow any more dumb rumors being spread at the expense of this man. Like I just feel so mad lol and I think it's just everything that's been piling up through all these years and nothing being done against it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about or am I even making sense lmao

i completely get what you’re saying, and you’re right. there’s many different angles here and it’s all very angering and upsetting. we constantly have to see and deal with people who either make a joke of the DV situation or outright deny that’s what it was, they deny evan being victimized or even insinuate he himself was the abuser. not only is there not any semblance of justice in a traditional sense, but we now have people who make it their business to rewrite history. the fact that i feel so strongly about it is why i’m even on twitter at all to occasionally correct these people.

[theteasetwrites]

Why do you hate carol?

Omg so many reasons. I'll start with the more "reasonable" or justifiable reasons:

Ok well first of all, she killed two innocent people who were part of her group because they coughed a little bit. Like what kind of person murders two people just because they're sick? I know her "reasoning" was that she wanted to stop the spread of the disease in the prison, but like WHY MURDER??? JUST QUARANTINE THEM??? Also IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK because of course it didn't, the sickness had already started spreading anyway. I think Carol just wanted to murder someone tbh. Rick had every right to send her away, and from that point on I thought her morals were fucked up and she kind of continued to get worse for me.

She was HORRIBLE to those kids, Micah and Lizzie, especially Micah (or whichever one was the one that wasn't homicidal lmao). She straight up told her that she was weak and that she was going to die if she didn't start killing people, even though she was the one who actually was fine with killing walkers (you know, the important thing to kill). She was just so hard on her and for what? They were literally children, they had a right to be scared. That being said, I don't think she was in the wrong to kill Lizzie, because she kind of didn't really have a choice I mean what else was she supposed to do in that situation? But the point remains (and this is one of my biggest problems with Carol) is that she hates people who she perceives as "weak," even though in the beginning of the apocalypse, she would've been considered weak too. I just think she has no fucking compassion and it's really annoying.

Speaking of kids and emotionally abusing them, um SAM??? She scared that kid shitless even when she knew he was already receiving abuse at home from his dad. I thought Carol was supposed to be an abuse survivor? And yet she can't have compassion or be kind to other people in a similar situation? Carol was so awful to Sam and I can't remember the exact words but basically she told him he was weak and that he was going to get eaten alive by walkers which is a fucked up thing to say to anybody (even if it did end up actually happening).

Her constant leaving and peacing out when things get difficult. She is a coward, and she'll say she's leaving to protect everyone else, but really? It's just because she's selfish. I mean who would do that? I don't buy that she's a "lone wolf." Daryl is a lone wolf who still looks out for his friends but leaves when he feels he needs to. He left Alexandria not because he wanted to but because he wanted to find Rick (aka, he was being selfless). Carol leaves because she's scared or just doesn't feel like dealing with shit that she helped cause.

I generally don't like the way she treats Ezekiel. The guy clearly loves her and cares about her and she's so frigid towards him. I actually think they would be cute together if she would pay him an ounce of the respect he has for her.

Literally everything she did in season 10. I mean this is obvious. Again, I understand that her son died and that's horrible and no one should have to go through that, and her wanting revenge is absolutely understandable, but the way she did it? Manipulating, lying, hurting people, putting everyone's lives in danger, starting an all-out war and getting so many people killed by extension... (Daryl isn't innocent here either. He enables her bad behavior, which I do think is systemic from his past abuse and I would almost go as far as to say Daryl is used to being manipulated and lied to by people like Carol, but I won't get into that because it's a whole thing and it contributes to the more serious reason as to why I don't think Carol and Daryl are a good match). She did so much shit in season 10 I don't even know where to start, but basically it all led up to the cave incident, which completely happened because she was reckless and not thinking about the lives of other people. And then that scene where she tugged on Daryl's arm, crying and screaming at him begging him to "just say it"... I don't know that didn't sit right with me. He doesn't owe you anything. You just got people he cared about killed. Daryl was right to be mad at her, and I kinda like to think he's still mad at her lmao. At least he should be.

There's definitely more but those are some of the main plot-driven reasons as to why I don't like her.

By the way, I totally realize that Daryl, Rick, and every single character in this show have done shitty, immoral things, but Carol, in my opinion, is the worst and has done so much bad shit that gets dismissed as her being a "girlboss" like??? She's not a girlboss she's borderline sociopathic. She perpetuates abuse and doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's a poorly written character, and the writers don't even know what to do with her anymore. They've spent so long framing her as this girlboss badass but she's just an asshole.

Okay now let's get into some petty shit:

Her wig is garbage pls someone rip that thing off it would be camp and iconic

She gives me major pick-me/not like other girls vibes (actually I am pretty sure this is canon lmao she would absolutely bully me for liking the color pink and wearing dresses)

She would definitely yell at a customer service/retail employee (trust me I know)

Her stupid beet cookies fuck off with them shits

The way she "acts" when she's trying to be all sweet and shit and how it always works and no one sees through it. Girl that act is fake as shit and you're telling me no one would see through that??

Her pairing with Daryl is mediocre at best like I don't think they have any romantic chemistry, but even as friends they're boring together sORRY

Um ok yeah that's basically it. Also please don't hate me that's just my opinion and if you disagree that's ok lol

[writinggremlin]

Why, hello there!!

Allow me to introduce myself. (NOW WITH MASTERPOST!! WOAHHHH!!!!) (found at the bottom. I need to remake this post from the ground up next year.) (New post has been made this one is outdated now-- how the hell did you even find this one? Did you actually scroll all the way back here?!)

I haven't really come up with a pseudo name for myself yet, so I guess "Gremlin" or "That One Chaotic Lil Shit. You Know The One!" will do for now. No DNI here btw. I am totally, 100%, definitely 19. So all of those 18+ blogs that are just checking for my age can move on now, haha!

...Why are they still here? And looking at me suspiciously? Y-- You guys can leave now! Shoo! Go on!

Well then. Anygayyyyy! Other than that, I guess the other important thing to mention is pronouns. You may use she/her or they/them. I honestly don't care which ones you use for me. Use one, use the other, or get a little wacky with it and change them out mid-sentence. Are you still talking about the same person? Or somebody else entirely? Who knows!

In addition to that, if you wish to refer to me as a little lad or fellow, I would definitely not complain!

Something else that's probably worth mentioning is that this is, indeed, a side blog, which means that the blog I'll be doing my likes and follows and such from, will not be this one. I don't put any mention of this blog on my other ones because I don't want that audience knowing about this. Besides, my mom's on here too, and she knows about my two other blogs. Yeah..... you probably get it lmao.

However, I don't mind this community knowing about my main stuff, so I'll give you guys a hint, because this is an easter egg hunt now apparently (/s /lh). Nah, but fr, I tend to like a post either immediately before, or after I reblog it. Also my pfp is a chaotic collage of our lord and savior, Spleens, the cat. All hail the Glow Cloud, and all hail Spleens, the cat.

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So. Now that the basic stuff is out of the way, it's time to get into some more blog-related things about me. Specifically when it comes to writing. So fuckle all of your seatbelts, because this may get long.

To start off, I initially just spontaneously created this blog to dump a lot of reblog stuff that I loved and didn't want to lose. That's not going to stop anytime soon. Buuuut, lately I've been feeling more confident to post random prompts and ideas, and maybe even a random blurb or two! So, there's that for the near future. Maybe. Possibly.

Next I'd like to mention that I have OCs!! Quite a few, to be exact. All with their own intricate lil storylines and a few unique settings! I love to scheme and keep plenty of secrets, as well as make some goofy references here and there. Just because I like to write some sad shit, doesn't mean that I can't have some fun with wacky stuff happening in the background too!

Anyway, the OCs of mine that I'll probably mention most around here right now are: Mist, Ember, Kage, and Onyx. (As for my whumper's, those two are Vivek and Lilium.)

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Hmm... what else...

Oh- uhm! Tropes I like and the squicks and stuff!

Tropes I enjoy:

• Delirium/Half-Conscious/Dazed

• Mind Control/Hypnosis/Brainwashing (I guess you could say that I tend to... lose my mind over this one)

• Drugged/Spiked

• Sick/Fever

• Just any loss of situational awareness, really

• Fainting (I'm tempted to write a tip post for this one, because there's some underrated things that I think some people might really like to mess around with! Also because I might've had a whole hyperfixation on this stuff.)

• Lab Whump (so fun to read, oddly difficult to write)

• Starvation

• Pushed to the limit, and then some. Doesn't matter who's doing the pushing.

The tropes I don't so much enjoy:

I don't really have any triggers when it comes to reading, but there are a few things that can make me uncomfy.

• Sexual Non-Con. (Gives the heebie jeebies)

• Oddly Specific/Unorthodox Whumps (Yanking teeth, yanking fingernails, putting something under fingernails, etc. More heebie jeebies.)

• Visually speaking, I recently learned that I get triggered by watching somebody who's obviously suffering/dying, but everybody around them tries to dismiss it or act like they're fine. It's fine to write and read (love it in word form, actually), but as soon as it's a video, I just can't.

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YIPPEE, A MASTERLIST!!!

OC intros

Mist

(One down... 15(?) more to go.)

The only OC piece I've posted so far (that may change soon 👀)

Prompts/Ideas (Feel free to use!! And please show me if you do, I'd love to see what you do with my funky lil scenarios!)

Baby's first contribution!

Blank slate

Secret punishments

Trapped

"I don't matter."

Suddenly ripped away

Stressed out caretakers

Eavesdropping caretaker

Helpful angst

Angy whumper

Dizzy whumpees

DISGUSTANG!

Chill out in the freezer

Chill out in the freezer (cont.)

Ask games that I am desperate someone contributes to. Please. My askbox is so empty that there's cobwebs forming in there.

Blog ask game

OC introduction ask game

93 OC questions

Oddly specific OC asks

Tags worth mentioning:

Check out #good soup for all of the good shit

#delicious soup is a tier above the good soup

#ultimate soup is the best of the best. The golden buzzer of soups. I am addicted to that post and regularly return to it. Only one post has it right now.

And that's all for now! Thanks for reading through all of this, and I hope you guys all have a great day/night/life!!

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 4: Lot of Worrying

I took a nap. Woke up hungry and with a headache. Took a painkiller and am eating a lot of soup. I don't really feel better. A little better, but not enough. Feeling kind of worried...I presume I'll feel better tomorrow morning but what if I don't? I mean I guess I'll just call in sick to work? I don't know. I also really, really need to go shopping. If I don't go shopping tomorrow I won't until Monday and I really need to. But. Right now I just feel so unwell I don't know how that will be possible. And I know I might feel better tomorrow, I should after I've slept but... What if I've just broken myself?

And ugh this weekend. This is such a bad weekend for AOFTA. I really want to go; I haven't gone since 2019. There are going to be some amazing artists there. It's possible my favorite painting of all time will be exhibited again. But if I went I'd have to go Sunday, which means going early in the day. And on Saturday is SC Preview, which, like, same issue except at least it doesn't involve going out. But is it worth it? Do I... even want to think about the Supreme Court right now? I've been kind of checked out for a bit, which I know is bad but like also the least of my issues right now

I don't know. I don't know. I'm so overwhelmed by everything. I need to stop treating myself as if I can do anything and then just expect myself to, if not bounce back, at least like, shuffle through long enough to get to a point where I can make some sort of quick fix to myself and undo the damage. I absolutely know better.

AAAAAHHHHH. Okay. I need to prepare to go shopping tomorrow because I might feel better, I might be able to do it. But I also need o prepare to take off work tomorrow if I feel sick. It is not morally bad to take sick days. And if I can't go to work or can but can't go grocery shopping... I won't even lie, I've been order in gin more than my normal amount of food but I can just order in one more time. Desperate times. Of course I'm always living in desperate times through every fault of my own*. (*And capitalism.)

Ugh. I'm obviously feeling a little bit better than I did at first. Headache is gone I think. My stomach is a little weird still and I'm tired. I'm going to assume I can go to work and go shopping tomorrow. I'll just live with that assumption and if something happens to upend it, I'll deal with it. I really want to do no NEITHER of my weekend plans. I want to rest (lol sleep too much), clean (uhhh), and write (lmao) but I also feel like it would be good for me to do one or both of the other things. I hate that they're both the same weekend. I hate that they're both the same weekend and that I am such a mess, personally. But I also can't make decisions about these things while I feel like this. Like there's a non-zero chance I am sick lol.

I think... I need to be excited to do things. The reason I've been hiding out in time-wasting activities is I just dread everything else I could be doing. But like... see the art! hear the analysis! write the stuff you've been planning in you head and feel the flow of creativity! make the food that will taste good to eat! clean and enjoy your nice apartment!

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I just never know where to start anymore.

Well, we'll see. I do need to get back to sleep. I wasn't going to write this particular post today but now that I have, might as well just use it. It is a lot of text.

[but-i-feel-like-i-have-died]

Hey. I know it's been a while. I was talking about you last night to his brother actually. You mean so much to both of them and I hope I've kept my promise of taking care of them down here while you take care of them up there.

Things between he and I are.....well they indeed are. He made a really big mistake that I'd rather let him tell you all about tbh. I don't think you'd be proud of him for what he did. None of us are really. His brother can barely look at him without feeling sick.

How do I feel about it? Good question I'm really glad you asked lmao. Sick is one way to put it. But also empty and disappointed and honestly it's hard to put into words how I feel. It's just not a good feeling really.

I promised you I'd take care of him while we're away from you. But it's gotten to a point where I don't know if that's what's best for me anymore. I love him so deeply and I'm just not sure he's feeling the same.

Even still, I'm willing to give him a chance and take a leap of faith with him. I'm aware of what this could potentially do to me, but I think he's worth the risk anyway.

I'm planning on talking to him tonight about everything. How I feel, how others feel. I'm scared. Scared and nervous and anxious. Because this is truly my last straw. After this if nothing changes, then I'm sorry but I can't allow him in my life anymore. And that hurts me so fucking much to say.

I once begged him to stay with me. But now I beg him to let me stay. I know if I let him walk away from me we'll both regret it for the rest of our lives. And I truly genuinely believe if we gave us a fair shot again, maybe we could get it right this time. And if not, then at least we know we tried.

I'm all in with him. I always have been. But if he's not, then I have to return the energy and be all out because he doesn't get to keep doing this to me or anyone else. And all I can do is pray he hears me.

I hope you can forgive me for being angry and upset with him. I hope you can forgive me for wanting to break the promise I made you. But at the end of the day I've done everything I could and he's the one who will have forced my hand. And the last thing I wanna do is lose him. God I don't wanna lose him.

But all I can do is pray for wisdom and strength that I can approach this situation calmly and carefully. Pray that he gains the wisdom to open his heart and his mind and hear what I have to say and to understand what these words truly mean. And strength that he finds it in him to forgive himself for what he's done to himself and to others.

I'll always believe in him. I've never stopped before and I'm not stopping now. Honestly, I just want him to come home. Whether home is me or his family or whatever it is. I just want him home where he's safe and loved and cared for. And I really hope he knows how much he's loved unconditionally by God and so many others around him. Whether I'm around to see it, I hope he knows I'll never love anyone the way I love him.

I know you always are, but please be with him especially through these next few months. He really needs people whether they're together with him physically or not. And if I'm not there anymore, I know you and God always will be.

Anyways, I unfortunately have to work which is a whole separate shit show I'll tell you about another day lol. But I hope you know how much we miss you down here. And how loved you are. I hope you're resting well up there. You deserve it.

[xo-alie-xo]

PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

[belltrigger]

I saw your hanahaki comments and man! It made me remember that I have a love hate relationship with the whole concept cuz I'm a SUCKER for angst and debilitating all consuming love between people but I hate how. Terminal and lowkey forceful it is as someone who's been on the receiving end of toxic "I can't live without you" "I'll die if you leave me" bs it's not a good feeling ya know?And like. The time constraints too? There's always a really short time limit between when they get sick and when they wilt, and it never feels like enough time to fully explore the bittersweetness of it. Which I guess could be part of its charm. Having that ticking clock.

But I saw this concept floating around a a while ago where instead of TERMINAL hanahaki its CHRONIC hanahaki. And I genuinely love that so much more??!

Think about it! The PINING potential!

~~~

Ingo comes down with it first when they're in their teens. He's the first one to realize his feelings for Emmet are more than just brotherly love. More than just love for family. And he hates himself for it, but more than anything he's afraid Emmet will push him away if he ever finds out. He keeps his feelings of love pushed down into his heart, hidden from his world, until it starts pushing its way out of him forcibly. Ingo is able to hide it for a while but eventually Emmet finds him hunched over the sink one night, coughing up flowers and petals, gasping and wheezing.

Emmet is scared, but it's not a death sentence, Ingo is just really sick. It's okay. They'll be okay. They can get through this together, Ingo just needs to have his feelings reciprocated or he needs to overcome them. Emmet will be there to help his brother fulfill the love that's made him so sick. But Ingo won't tell him who he's in love with. Adamant about keeping that information secret with the exception of when Emmet asked "is it someone I know?" Which earned him a tense nod from Ingo. Great! That's something he can work with! Except. Why does this information make Emmet's heart ache and skin boil?

Before he realizes it. He himself is sick with love, love for his older twin. It brings him some comfort to finally understand why he had been feeling the way he had been while being around Ingo. But he's already in love with someone else! He can't do that to him! Not when he sees him in pain, struggling day in and day out. So he keeps his feelings hidden. Keeps his condition hidden. Tries to remain the loving and supportive brother. For the sake of Ingo's love.

Years pass. Eventually Ingo finds out Emmet is also in love with someone to the point of sickness. He won't tell Ingo who he's in love with "you won't tell me who YOU'RE in love with. So it's only fair that I don't tell you either!" Is always his answer. Spring is hell for the two of them. But they get through it together. Because even if they won't reveal their loves to eachother, they know they'll always have their brother to lean on and seek comfort from when the pain in their chests becomes too much to bear before the flowers flow from their mouths in wheezing painful gasps.

~~~

You know. Food for thought. Chronic hanahaki has some decent potential imo! So I'm trying to share the idea if I can

I might actually make this into a full fic myself lmao but if the idea tickles your fancy please feel free to run with it yourself? [Insert eye emoji here]

Hello Anon! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I have a lot of feelings about Hanahaki, as you probably saw when I just couldn't stop talking in @cocacolaclown's chat.

Cut for length!

You know, I always swerve at the last moment with Hanahaki - sort of an "oops they were actually still alive sike" because I can't truly handle tragedy. You've probably noticed this pattern with my writing. It's probably why the Hisui AU is taking as long as it is. There is gonna be a lot of hardship for them before the soft fluff happens.

BUT, but! Your suggestion of it being chronic instead of terminal is verrrry good! It solves part of the problem that stalls my hand on creating any of my own hanahaki media.

Emmet wanting to help must have made it even worse for Ingo. The urge to just tell Emmet as the pain and struggling mounts, but holding back for his twin's sake, no matter how wrong he is on Emmet's stance. He wants to protect Emmet, even if it happens to be from himself! Emmet should go on to have a normal love, not held back by his older brother's selfish desires.

And then Emmet developing the disease as well. Ingo wonders if it's spreadable, contagious? He never thinks that Emmet loves him back, just that somehow a seed or pollen spread to Emmet while he was foolishly letting his younger twin take care of him. He can't even research it, too consumed over the fear and guilt that he caused such suffering in Emmet despite trying to avoid it. And Emmet won't even tell him who would dare not love his precious twin back. "Have you tried to tell them?" and Emmet just smiles and shakes his head, fistful of phalaenopsis petals behind his back.

I haven't drawn in a bajillion years and still don't feel good about my art, but hopefully one of the amazing people in the blankshipping circle can draw what popped into my brain at the end of your post. Hear me out: does anyone remember the Magnet vocaloid trend? With the two characters leaning towards each other with their headphone mics linked together? That but with the flowers coming from Ingo and Emmet's mouths? I dunno, I just think it would illustrate their stubborn grip on "I won't tell you, even though you are who I think of."