#lmao SNAP OUT OF IT AL!!!!

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

.

[genshinluvr]

Territorial

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader, Zhongli x Isekai'd!Reader x Neuvillette

Summary: Things seem to be going well when the men from Fontaine moved into the abode. Or at least that's what the others thought. You, however, can sense some tension between Zhongli and Neuvillette.

Note: How long has it been since I've posted something? A year? Over a year? Either way, I am somewhat back! Since I haven't posted fanfics in a long time, the new fanfics will be shorter compared to the previous fanfics. I'm slowly easing myself back into posting fanfics. This fic is most likely awful, but that's okay because it's been a while. Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: I haven't written in a while, so, it's probably a shit fanfic LMAO

Word Count: 4.5k

Ever since the men of Fontaine decided to move into the abode, things were relatively fine. The men got along with each other, and there have yet to be any arguments or physical altercations. Yet. However, you couldn’t help but notice a certain someone avoiding one of the new members of the abode. You weren’t sure if everyone noticed the brewing tension between an Archon and the Iudex, but it was subtle yet noticeable (to you). 

The men didn’t have an issue sharing your love, affection, and attention with the others. While there are certain men who can be quite possessive (Childe), it usually never gets out of hand. Or, at least, that’s what you thought. Zhongli has been clingy lately— not that you’re complaining, but it was a little bit unusual because he’s not publicly affectionate. Even if he is openly affectionate with you, it wouldn’t be overbearing. Okay, maybe overbearing isn’t the right word to describe it.

“Maybe territorial is the best way to describe it.” You mutter.

Zhongli hums beside you, looking over at you curiously. “Care to repeat that, dearest?”

You blink, snapping out of your thoughts before rubbing the back of your neck with a sheepish smile. “Oh, nothing! I was trying to find a word to describe a Rishboland Tiger for my word puzzle!” You gesture to the word puzzle book in front of you. 

Zhongli leans toward you, peering over your shoulders and at the word puzzle in front of you. His amber eyes scan the page as if he’s checking to see if you’re doing the puzzle correctly. Thankfully, you are! Zhongli hums, stroking the rim of his teacup, preoccupied with the puzzle book. You rub your eyes before glancing at the clock on the wall. It’s almost eight in the morning, and yet here you are! Usually, you’d be in bed, sleeping the morning away until someone forces you out of bed (the person forcing you to wake up is usually Al Haitham). 

“And territorial would be correct,” Zhongli nods, smiling at you, “you’re doing well.”

You smile shyly before covering your now very warm face with the word puzzle book. Zhongli chuckles, pressing a kiss on the side of your head before proceeding to stir his warm cup of tea. A comfortable silence falls over you and Zhongli. Aside from you and Zhongli, everyone is still asleep in their respective rooms. Well, aside from Childe and Wriothesley because the two men decided to become gym buddies who get up at ungodly hours to workout, spar, and box. Given Childe's past in Fontaine, you can’t help but find it slightly odd.

Heels clicking against the floors of the abode pulls you and Zhongli out of the comfortable silence. Zhongli lets out a long exhale through his nostrils before taking a long sip of his tea, looking elsewhere. You look to see Neuvillette standing at the entrance of the dining area, gazing at you and Zhongli with surprise.

“Good morning, [Y/N], … Archon,” Neuvillette says, stepping farther into the room.

You smile at Neuvillette, waving at the Iudex. “Morning, Neuvillette! I’m surprised to see that you’re awake around this time of day.”

Neuvillette chuckles, pulling a seat out from beside you before sitting. “I could say the same thing for you, [Y/N]. You’re never up this early, but today is different. Why?” Neuvillette looks at you intently. 

A look of surprise flashes across your face before you smile at the Fontainian man. “Zhongli asked me to join him for breakfast, and here I am!”

Neuvillette hums, nodding. “I see. Now, did Deus Auri rouse you from your slumber for breakfast, or was this initially planned the day before?” Neuvillette interrogates.

You blink at Neuvillette and turn to look at Zhongli, who looks visibly annoyed with the Iudex. Zhongli gives Neuvillette a tight-lipped smile before sipping his tea, unanswering Neuvillette’s question. Without you knowing, Neuvillette shoots a subtle glare at Zhongli while Zhongli continues to drink his tea, ignoring the discreet yet heated glare thrown his way. You clear your throat before turning towards Neuvillette, only to see him brushing a stray hair away from his face. 

You can’t help but admire Neuvillette’s long hair. His hair looks so soft, and you kind of want to run your fingers through them. “I wonder what kind of hair products he uses. His hair looks so silky and healthy.”

“Oh, nothing special in particular. If you like to know what I use for my hair care routine, I can show you.” Neuvillette suggests. 

You stare at Neuvillette owlishly, mouth agape. “Did I say that out loud?”

Neuvillette smiles and takes a sip from his chalice while you’re sputtering and looking over at the Funeral Consultant with wide eyes. Should you reply to Neuvillette’s offer? But he has a hair care routine! Wait, if he has a hair care routine, is it possible that Neuvillette might have a skincare routine? Your hand starts to tremble— not out of fear, but excitement and a bit of anxiousness because you accidentally said your thoughts out loud.

Zhongli stares at Neuvillette before placing a hand over your trembling ones. “To answer your question, Monsieur Neuvillette, I invited [Y/N] to breakfast the day prior,” Zhongli says, grabbing Neuvillette’s attention. “Isn’t that right, dearest?”

You smile and nod. “That is correct! Zhongli invited me to breakfast yesterday afternoon! We walked around the abode, watched the sunrise, and here we are!” You gesture to the table happily. 

Neuvillette presses his lips in a thin line, nodding. The three of you continue to sit in silence in the dining room, listening to birds sing in the distance. The more you continue with the puzzle book, the more you become confused. You start to bounce your right leg, tapping the pencil against the booklet, staring at number fifty. 

“How the hell did I get into the Akademiya when I’m struggling with this damn puzzle?” You mumble to yourself.

“The answer is Fortress of Meropide,” Neuvillette says, his voice right next to your ear. 

You pause and look at Neuvillette, freezing, when you realize how close your faces are. You can’t help but notice Neuvillette briefly looking down at your lips before making eye contact with you. If your face wasn’t feeling hot already, then it is now. The longer you gaze into Neuvillette’s eyes, the more you realize how breathtaking he is. 

“You have long lashes.” You mutter.

Before Neuvillette can respond, Zhongli clears his throat loudly. Your eyes quickly dart to your puzzle book, breaking eye contact with the handsome and breathtaking Iudex of Fontaine. Fortress of Meropide, huh? You scribble down the answers, and lo and behold, the words fit into the small boxes perfectly. 

You press your lips into a thin line, looking at Neuvillette from the corner of your eyes. “Thank you for helping me,” you whisper.

Neuvillette hums softly, taking a sip of water from the chalice. “You’re welcome. If you need any other assistance, I am more than happy to help.” Neuvillette says.

The clock ticks away, and you find yourself in another comfortable silence. Only this time, the silence isn’t as comfortable as before. Is Zhongli sitting much closer to you than he was a few minutes ago? Neuvillette keeps glancing over your shoulders, watching you write the answers in the boxes. It’s almost like both men are glaring at each other when you're not looking (they are, but you’re trying your best to act like you didn’t notice the ever-growing tension between the two refined men).

The door to the abode suddenly bursts open, and Wriothesley and Childe enter, drenched in sweat and with a towel around their necks. Childe and Wriothesley stop at the entrance, looking at the three of you with surprise.

Childe points an accusing finger at you three, “Why are you two all up in my snookum’s space?” Childe marches over, huffing and puffing about Zhongli and Neuvillette's lacking manners when being around you— his precious snookums who can do no wrong in his eyes. Wriothesley rolls his eyes, chuckling while wiping the sweat from his forehead with the white towel around his neck.

“Geez, Childe, you can’t hog them to yourself,” Wriothesley mutters, watching the ginger-haired man snatch you up from your seat. 

You’re thrashing in Childe’s arms, swatting at him while muttering how sweaty he is. Childe ignores your protest and drapes his arms around your shoulders, burying his face into your hair. You shudder, feeling his sweaty skin stick to yours— almost melting and becoming your second skin. 

Your nose scrunches up with disgust when you catch a whiff of his sweat. “You’re sweaty and smelly. Go take a shower,” you order, patting his head— only to regret it immediately. 

Childe shakes his head, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “How can I shower in peace when I witnessed my snookums sandwiched between two men who aren’t me?” Childe looks up from your neck, glaring at Zhongli and Neuvillette, who, in return, glare back at him. 

You poke Childe’s forehead. “Can you let go of me? I have a puzzle to finish.”

Childe shakes his head. “I’m not letting go of you until you return my hug, snookums.”

Sometimes, you underestimate Childe’s stubbornness and clinginess. It’s not like you don’t want to hug him! You love his hugs! However, you have an issue with hugging people when you or that person is sweaty— you don’t know why, but you don’t like it and cannot tolerate the feeling of stickiness. You grumble under your breath and reluctantly wrap your arms around Childe’s waist, squeezing your eyes shut when you feel Childe’s sweat seep through his shirt. Childe sighs happily and peppers your face with kisses, making sure to make it loud enough for the others to hear the obnoxious smooching noises. 

“That’s enough, Childe,” Zhongli says sternly, glaring at Childe from where he’s sitting.

Neuvillette huffs, swishing the water in his chalice while muttering, “Have some decorum, Harbinger.”

Childe pauses what he’s doing and glances over at Zhongli and Neuvillette. The two men shoot daggers in Childe’s direction, and Childe can see the veins on their foreheads threatening to pop. With a shit-eating grin, Childe proceeds to do what he was doing earlier— suffocate you with his kisses in front of the very irritated Zhongli and Neuvillette and an amused Wriothesley.

Wriothesley shakes his head, snorting, “He’s just fucking with you two, and you two are letting him win.”

Zhongli and Neuvillette don’t respond afterward; they only continue to glare at Childe from the corners of their eyes. After some time, Childe finally releases you from his sweaty grasp, though not before placing one last sloppy kiss on your face. You give Childe a tight-lipped smile before debating whether you should take a shower or continue your puzzle book.

“Snookums~!” Childe whines, sniffling dramatically.

Wriothesley rolls his eyes with a snort. “You’re even clingier than [Y/N] claimed,” Wriothesley smirks, pushing himself away from the counter before sauntering to where you stand.

You look at Wriothesley, suddenly feeling on edge. Why is he suddenly approaching you with that smug grin on his face? Is he up to something? Wriothesley pushes Childe to the side, causing the ginger-haired man to stumble and glare at the Duke. 

Before Wriothesley can say anything, you hold up an index finger. “What are you up to?” you ask cautiously.

Wriothesley laughs, his laughter sending tingles down your spine. “I’m just testing something. Relax for me,” He murmurs. 

You audibly gulp, causing the man before you to let out an airy laugh, his canines shining under the dining room lights. Wriothesley, now standing three feet in front of you, gestures to you to step forward with his index and middle finger. You inch forward, feeling multiple eyes on the back of your head as you get closer to Wriothesley. 

Once you’re standing in front of Wriothesley, you look anywhere but his face, worrying the smug smile will send you to your knees. Noticing your lack of eye contact, Wriothesley gently grabs you by the chin, tilting your head up. Archons, is the dining room hot, or is it just you? Wriothesley gazes into your eyes, the corner of his lips quirking up. With his free hand, Wriothesley caresses your cheek before chuckling. “My, my. Your face is quite hot. Are you feeling alright, dollface?” 

“You’re up to something, I just know it,” You whisper, narrowing your eyes at him.

Wriothesley chuckles, leans down, and murmurs into your ears, “As I said earlier, I’m just testing something. Do you trust me?” His breath fans your ear and the side of your face, causing goosebumps to form on your body.

He’s up to something, and the alarms are going off in your head. You’re not worried about what Wriothesley is up to! What you’re worrying about is how Childe (and Neuvillette and Zhongli) are going to react to what Wriothesley is going to do. Wriothesley leans down toward your neck, catching a whiff of your lotion and body wash. “Hmm, you smell nice. Are you wearing the lotion I bought for you while I was away in Fontaine?” He pulls away and gazes at you with curiosity, his head tilting to the side.

You can’t help but melt under his gaze. You gulp again, nodding your head. Wriothesley nods and pulls away from you. Wriothesley strokes his chin, gazing at you intently. You can’t help but squirm under Wriothesley’s piercing stare. He suddenly places both beside your neck, tilting your head to the side.

“Good. It makes me happy to know you’re wearing something I got for you. I’ll get you more the next time I return to Fontaine for work,” Wriothesley nods.

Your eyes widen, and you quickly shake your head. “No, no! You don’t have to get me anything, Wriothesley! I insist!” You protest, placing your right hand over his left.

Zhongli clears his throat, grabbing your and Wriothesley’s attention. If Zhongli hadn’t been annoyed already, then he certainly is now. Wriothesley clears his throat before walking away— but not without kissing the side of your head. Zhongli sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering incoherent words to himself. You swallow the lump in your throat before sitting back down. 

Neuvillette hums, stroking his chin. “There is a rather compelling trial that is being held at the Opera Epiclese. Your thoughts and presence would be most welcome should you wish to observe the proceedings alongside me.”

Your eyes light up, and you gasp with excitement. “Ooh, I can!? I would love to join you, Neuvillette!” You squeal, clapping your hands.

It’s not like you’re excited to see someone get possibly executed— what you’re looking forward to is being able to witness how trails take place in Fontaine. Instead of witnessing the trial from behind your computer screen, you get to see it with your very own eyes! 

Zhongli clears his throat. “Dearest, I must remind you that you have some projects to turn in today at the Akademiya.”

Your eyes widen, and the pencil in your hand clatters on the table. Wait, what project!? You have projects to turn in at the Akademiya!? You rack through your brain, trying to recall if you really did have projects that need to be submitted. 

Neuvillette narrows his eyes at Zhongli, raising an eyebrow with skepticism. Zhongli ignores Neuvillette’s stare and proceeds to sip from his teacup. Right when you’re about to open your mouth to question Zhongli, Al Haitham enters the dining room, dressed and ready for the day. 

You sigh in relief, push yourself up from your seat, and stride to the Scribe. “Al Haitham! Can you help me jog my memory really quick?”

Al Haitham raises his eyebrows at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course. What is it that you need me to assist you with?”

“I agreed to go watch today’s trial proceeding in Fontaine with Neuvillette, but Zhongli reminded me that I have a project to submit to the Akademiya today. My issue is that I cannot recall whether I do have a project to submit,” you explain, crossing your arms over your chest while tapping your foot on the ground impatiently. 

Al Haitham strokes his chin, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to recall any conversations he had with you regarding your upcoming deadlines with the Akademiya. Al Haitham nods wordlessly. You deflate and collapse to your knees, lying on the ground while sulking. 

“Eh? What happened to Windblume? They look heartbroken and defeated,” Venti says, strutting into the dining room while smoothing over the wrinkles on his shirt. “Was breakfast with blockhead disappointing?” Venti jokes, propping his hands on his hips.

You sigh and shake your head. You can’t be disappointed about the project submission preventing you from attending the Opera Epiclese with Neuvillette. Your project determines the fate of your future with the Akademiya, and you certainly cannot push the deadline back. Plus, you can’t be upset with Zhongli for reminding you of something so important. 

Venti extends his hands toward you; you grab his hands and stand up. You waddle over to the table and plop down between Zhongli and Neuvillette while sulking over missing the opportunity to witness a trial in person. 

You turn to Neuvillette, visibly disappointed, “Thank you for the invite, Neuvillette. I truly appreciate it, but I must decline your invitation due to pressing deadlines.”

Neuvillette’s gaze softens, reaching for your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You do not need to apologize, darling. There’s always a next time,” he smiles at you, “If you’d like, perhaps I can make some dinner reservations just for you and me.”

A hand slams down on the table, startling everyone in the room. If the others aren’t awake, they certainly are now. You look over where the commotion is from, only to see Childe huffing and puffing with a pout. Oh, Archons, you forgot Childe is still in the same room. 

“Snookums! How can you forget about me?” Childe whines.

You laugh nervously and rub the back of your neck with your unoccupied hand. You give Neuvillette and Zhongli a sympathetic look before getting ready to leave your seat to comfort Childe. Before you can stand up, Zhongli grabs your other hand and gently pushes you down, shaking his head.

“No need to console him, dearest,” Zhongli says, shooting a pointed look in Childe’s direction.

Childe puckers his lips and groans, turning around and stomping away. You sigh for the umpteenth time, resting your head on the table. Zhongli and Neuvillette both squeeze your hand to comfort you.

Since that day, things have been getting worse between the two men when you’re in the same room as the duo. Whenever you try to make time with Neuvillette, Zhongli would take that chance to tag along. Now, you’re not against Zhongli tagging along with you, but you’re sort of worried about his safety because of the look Neuvillette would throw in Zhongli’s direction. You’re not sure if the men aren’t aware that you can sense the tension between them, but if they do, they don’t seem to care about it. A week (or has it been two weeks?) passes by, and you’re eating dinner with the men in the dining room.

Usually, there isn’t assigned seating at the dining table since you want to be able to sit next to every person in the abode without leaving a single person out. But for some reason, not long after the men from Fontaine moved into the abode, Zhongli and Neuvillette decided that the empty seats beside you (anywhere you sit at the dining table, pretty much) were theirs to claim.

“But Onikabuto booboo bear! I want you to sit next to me this time!” Itto whines, laying the top half of his body on the table while giving you puppy dog eyes, his bottom lips jutting out before fake crying.

Neuvillette raises his eyebrows at Itto beside you, stroking his chin. “Onikabuto booboo bear? Is that supposed to be a nickname for [Y/N]?” Neuvillette murmurs.

Itto stops his act and looks at the Iudex with excitement, nodding rapidly. Itto quickly removes himself from the table before running over to your side of the table (which took a while because the table is quite long). Once he arrives at your side of the table where you, Zhongli, and Neuvillette are sitting, Itto pulls out an empty seat beside Neuvillette and plops down with a heavy sigh.

“In case you haven’t been, uh, informed about how things work around here…” Itto trails off, scratching his head as he tries to find the right words to say, “We,” he gestures to the men in the dining room, “have pet names for our sweet Onikabuto booboo bear.”

Itto places both hands on his hips; a smug smile graces his face. You snicker and shake your head. Zhongli wraps his arms around your waist and plants a kiss on your cheek, ignoring the looks Neuvillette and Childe are giving him. 

“Oh? Please do tell me more about this, Itto. I have been calling [Y/N] “darling,” are we supposed to have a unique nickname for them?” Neuvillette asks, tilting his head while looking at Itto with pure curiosity.

Itto blinks at the Iudex with wide eyes, “Uh…” he trails off, scratching the back of his head before looking over in your and Zhongli’s direction. “Not really. I guess it depends on preferences! I call them Onikabuto booboo bear because, well, I love Onikabutos almost as much as I love [Y/N]! As for the booboo bear part, I wanted it to be unique for them and only for them. Heh, I bet other people on Teyvat wouldn’t be able to come up with someone as interesting and unique as the nickname I give to my Onikabuto booboo bear!” 

You can’t help but melt at Itto’s response. You know that Itto loves his Onikabutos, and hearing his explanation of the nickname he gave you makes you feel so warm and soft inside. You pull away from Zhongli’s grasp, get up from your seat, and walk over to Itto. You wrap your arms around Itto’s shoulders and rest your left cheek on his head, stroking his hair.

“You’re too sweet, Itto. You’re going to make me cry,” you coo, reaching down to pinch his cheek.

Itto’s face turns bright red as he mumbles incoherent words. Noticing the look that Zhongli and Neuvillette shoot in his direction, an idea pops into his head. Itto wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles his face into your chest, making sure not to accidentally poke you with his horns.

Kaveh huffs, propping his head on his elbow. “Hey, Abyss Mage, how come you give them more attention than the rest of us?”

“They love me more, that’s why!” Itto shouts, sticking his tongue out at the miffed architect. Neuvillette lifts his hand to say something, but Itto quickly stands up and lifts you from the ground. “Ha! They’re mine now, losers!” 

“Wha— Itto!” You screech when Itto takes off with you in his arms.

How Itto runs away with you in his arms reminds you of a mother cat carrying her kitten, but in this case, it’s Itto carrying you. The men stand up, shouting at Itto and groaning as they watch the Oni sprint out of the dining room with you while laughing manically. 

Baizhu chuckles, rubbing his temples as he watches the other men leave their seats to chase after you and Itto while shouting profanities. “I’ll be getting the first aid kit, just in case something happens,” Baizhu says, getting up from his seat to go to the infirmary area of the abode. 

You should’ve known that Itto is a magnet for trouble, but while he’s running up the stairs with you in his arms, his feet slip, sending you two tumbling down the stairs. While Neuvillette’s tending to your injuries with Baizhu, Zhongli scolds the pouting Oni.

Neuvillette caresses your face in his hands, “Are you alright? You took a hard tumble down the stairs, and I’m worried about the possibility of you sustaining some injuries.”

“I mean, my arm does hurt, but—”

“Do you guys hear that?” Thoma asks.

Everyone in the room pauses, listening closely. There’s a soft pitter-patter sound coming from the roof. The sound isn’t loud, but it’s noticeable if you sit in a quiet room and listen closely. You continue to rub the arm you landed on, trying to decipher what’s making the pitter-patter noise.

“Is it raining?” Tighnari strokes his chin, heading towards the nearest window, while Aether runs toward the window. 

Scaramouche raises his eyebrows at Tighnari, crossing his arms over his chest. “Since when can it rain in the abode? Maybe you’re hearing things that aren’t correlated with the weather.”

Tighnari ignores Scaramouche’s comment and stands beside Aether in front of the window. Aether peeks from between the curtains before turning to everyone else in the room with wide eyes.

“It can rain in the abode?” Aether asks.

You furrow your eyebrows and get up from your spot, clutching your throbbing arm to your chest. Zhongli places a gentle hand on your shoulder, accompanying you to the window. 

Ayato hums, tapping his chin while watching the raindrops pelt the window. “I never knew that the abode can have such weather. It seems like the rain is getting heavy.”

“Now that I think about it, I believe that it has been a bit gloomier these past few weeks,” you murmur, staring at the dark gray skies from the comfort of the estate with the men who care about you.

The men look at Zhongli before looking over at Neuvillette, who ignores the others' burning holes in his head as he drinks his water elegantly. Zhongli lightly taps your shoulder to grab your attention. You look at Zhongli quizzically while he examines your injured arm with discontentment. 

A small smile appears on Zhongli’s face as he caresses your cheek with one hand. “Let’s get your injury checked. I’m sure Doctor Baizhu has yet to complete the examination.”

Lightning crackling across the sky and thunder filling the air startles everyone in the abode. The heavy rain seems to have gotten worse, and it doesn’t seem like it’ll get better any time soon. Aether clears his throat and gets between you and Zhongli with a polite yet awkward smile. “I’ll take [Y/N] to see Doctor Baizhu, Mister Zhongli.”

Before Zhongli can respond, Aether quickly whisks you away while avoiding the stares from Zhongli and Neuvillette. Baizhu and Aether rush you to another room while the men remain in the same spot, not moving a limb.

Dottore snorts, shaking his head, “Who knew these two men are childish.”

Neuvillette and Zhongli glare at Dottore. A tree branch knocks against the living room window as the rain pelts the roof and window. 

Note: Finally posted something after so long! 😭 The fanfic is most likely awful, but I kind of want to make a part two for it, but I'm not entirely sure if I should. Man, since this is posted, now I have to plan what else to post... aside from the HSR fanfics. I think I'll post a fanfic for HSR instead of Genshin this upcoming week, but I'm not entirely sure. I might change my mind, but who knows. Anywho! To all my new and returning readers, keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

I didn't initially plan on have a taglist for this fic, but since someone requested to be tagged in this fic, I will tag them! Taglist for this fic: @rubyninja1

Read more of my works on my Masterlist / Masterlist 2 | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[beansprean]

introducing Katya Zamolodchikova as Nancy the Relentless!!! a concept @vampireshmampire and i braindumped about like a year ago lmao. far before the rumors about Trixie Mattel being in s6 came out owo!

My Familiar’s Ghost part 80

Masterpost Masterpost 2

See the latest pages on Patreon!

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Small panel, waist up of Nandor and Guillermo on a vague grayish-blue background. Nandor has one hand on his hip and the other pointing upwards as he leans toward Guillermo sternly and says 'Now I will show you how to call long distance.' Guillermo looks up at him, rubbing his arm awkwardly, still flushed from the previous page, and responds 'Ok...' 1b. Chest up of Nandor on a brighter blue background with his eyes closed in concentration, palms held up and out. He clears his throat and says, in a wispy bright blue speech bubble, 'I, Nandor the Relentless, am calling out to the etherrrr to inquire about available familiarsssss...' 1c. Shoulders up of Nandor and Guillermo lurching to one side in shock, Nandor's hands flying up, shoulder crashing into Guillermo's, as a glowing blue bubble suddenly shoves into their panel. Inside the bubble is a thin white vampire in drag with long white-blonde hair styled half up in a high ponytail by a sparkly red scrunchie. She is wearing a thin red dress with a black leather corset, a red-violet leopard fur capelet with gold coins dangling from the hem, a red jabot at her neck with a bat shaped gold brooch decorated with rubies, and shoulder length red gloves with ruby-encrusted gold caps shaped like claws on each finger. She lurches into frame with a huge, devious grin, shouting, 'Nandor, babygirl! Is that you?!' 1d. Repeat of Nandor and Guillermo standing side by side, Guillermo now having moved to stand slightly behind. Nandor slumps and scowls, already looking exhausted by this encounter, and greets poisonously 'Hello, Nancy the Relentless.' Guillermo frowns up at Nancy but stays quiet. From offscreen, Nancy coos, 'Heyy, mama! Still shopping in Turkish Cryptkeeper Kohls? I love that for you.' Nandor replies, irritated, 'This kaftan is not coal, it is made of wool from the sheeps of Al Q-' Nancy interrupts and asks, 'So, you're looking for a familiar?'

2a. Waist up of Nancy in her ether bubble, right arm crossed over her chest to rest on her left bicep, left hand reaching up to tap a jaunty claw on her cheek. She raises a brow and grins, tongue curling around one fang, and asks teasingly, 'Does that mean your scrumptious little slayer-boy is finally availableeee? 2b. Chest up of Nandor and Guillermo side by side. Glare fixed on Nancy, Nandor throws an arm out in front of Guillermo and shouts, 'No!! I have told you before, he is mine!' Guillermo startles, a green glow beginning to creep up behind him as goosebumps skitter up and down his shoulders. Nancy replies to Nandor, 'And your title is mine, Nandor the Plagiarist!' Nandor snaps back, 'I have been called Relentless since before you were born, Nancy the- the Pretender!' 2c. Repeat. Guillermo blushes and looks away, lips pursing as if attempting to whistle nonchalantly as his hand reaches up to grip the arm Nandor is holding in front of him and move it away from his body. Nandor's eyes flit over to him curiously, color rising to his cheeks. Nancy continues, 'Ooh, baby, you know how I feel about older men yelling at me. You should call more often.' 2d. Close up of Nandor in profile in the foreground, Nancy's bubble beyond. He glares at her and asks sharply, 'Do you know of any familiars looking for work or not?' Nancy, full body visible now as she perches on the edge of a table and leans back on one arm, legs crossed at the knee to reveal the high slit in her dress, fishnets, and thigh high black leather boots. She closes her eyes haughtily and stretches her free arm outward in a clearly rehearsed pose, replying, 'Well, gorgeous, effortless, beloved vampires usually receive applications directly...' 2e. Repeat. Nandor arches his eyebrows and turns his head away from Nancy toward the viewer, muttering, 'Then you must alert me if you find such a vampire.' Nancy wheezes with shocked laughter, kicking her legs wildly and flapping her arms, delighted rather than offended by the dig. Through her laughs, she declares, 'Read!!' 2f. Chest up of Nandor and Guillermo, the latter standing just behind and gripping the edge of Nandor's sleeve. Offscreen, Nancy recovers from her fit and says, 'Well, since I'm nice, I'll forward you a few. But- hello! Is that the slayer behind you? Did you turn him?! You bitch!! Guillermo, call m-!' Nandor scowls and interrupts, saying quickly, 'YesthankyouNancygoodbye.' He then flaps his hand in the air, dispersing Nancy's bubble and ending the call. Behind him, Guillermo frowns, flustered and blushing. 2g. Repeat. Nandor lowers his hand and glares where Nancy once appeared, sneering, 'Yeesh, why could you not have slain her?' Guillermo aims an unimpressed glance toward him, still purple in the cheeks. /end ID

[huskersbooze]

Sick

Alastor x Reader

Summary : You get sick and Alastor keeps you company <3

Warnings : Swearing(lots of it)

Pairings : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here)

Additional Tags : ALASTOR POV CUZ YES. Sick reader, implied relationship, h/c, fluff, comfort

Word count : 1.01k

“Hey, you alright, kid?” Husk tilts his head to the side, wiping down the last glass of the day.

You don’t respond. Instead, you’re staring off into the distance, dozing off in your own world.

“Kid?”

“Huh? What?” You finally snap out of your thoughts.

“Geez, ya’ look like hell.” Husk acknowledges. “Are you sick?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I don’t think so?”

“Go rest. I’ll work alone today.”

“What? No! I’m fine I swear-” Before you’re able to finish your sentence, Husk flips you off.

“Bullshit. Go find your radio boyfriend.”

“Don’t bullshit me-”

You try arguing but Husk only smirks when he catches a glimpse of Alastor who’s appeared right behind you.

“Well, I just did.” He says. “Now stop being so stubborn.”

“I’m not being stubborn I-” 

You feel a hand being put to your forehead and try to fight back, only to realise it was Alastor.

“High fever.” He lets go. “You’re being stubborn.”

“Oh, fuck you, Al.”

“We’ll fuck when you’re better, darling.”

You blush. Alastor grins. Husk tries to hold in a laugh but ultimately fails.

“You’re sick and you need rest, my dear. Come along.”

“I’m fine-”

Alastor can only sigh, picking you up as you yelp.

“This is completely, and utterly, your fault single-handedly.” He smiled as you pouted. “You're very much welcome, darling.”

“Whatever.”

-----

You managed to escape Alastor as he leaves to mess with Vox. (Ep2 lmao)

Upon returning to the bar, Husk was not pleased to see your ass out of bed, emphasising on how important sleep was to someone sick.

You couldn’t care less.

Though, after wiping down a few more bottles with him, your eyes doze off and your eyelids feel droopy.

“Kid?”

The world spins and fades away.

“Fuck! Kid, ya’ alright?! Alastor!”

-----

[Alastor’s pov]

I heard a little groan as my eyes widened.

"Darling." I whispered, hoping not to startle her.

"Al..?" She breathed out.

"Good morning." I joked, though so grateful she was now awake.

"Wha.. What time is it?" She asked, struggling to get up.

"Be careful." I ushered, helping her sit. "I'm not so sure myself. It's very late at night."

"Where am I?" She asked, finally waking up as she stopped slurring through her words. 

"My room. ‘I’m not sick’ my arse." I replied.

"Oh. Well, I guess you and Husk were right. I just thought I was a little sick." She murmured. 

"You are sick." I replied. "Just worse than you expected."

"Real humorous, Al." She gave a small, yet weak, giggle.

Silence filled the air between us, and we didn't say anything else after that. That was, until she gave a small sneeze. I could tell she tried to suppress it, but seeing it was late at night and so quiet, it was hard not to notice.

"Are you cold?" I asked. I could barely make out the silhouette of her nodding lightly. Without hesitating, I took off my coat and handed it over to her. "Better?"

"A lot. Thanks, Al." She replied. After another few seconds of silence, she spoke up once more. "Why aren’t you asleep?"

"You do remember your dear partner does not need, nor does he enjoy, sleep?"

"Excuse, excuses." She joked, earning a chuckle from me.

"I can't really sleep now." She suddenly says out of nowhere. One thing I really like about this girl, she says the most random things in the most random situations. "Could we do something else?"

"Are you trying to get me killed?" I laughed. "You need to rest."

"I'm aware. That's the initial plan, anyways." She joked. At least, I hoped she was joking.

"You sneaky little deer."

"Yes. That's me. Hello." She replied, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed as she proceeded to look at me in the dark room. “Besides, it’s not like anyone here at the Hotel is actually powerful enough to kill you.”

"Very well, then. What do you have in mind?"

“Some jazz and cuddles would be nice.”

-----

She chokes on another cough.

"Are you sure you're alright? You should really rest in such vulnerable state."

"I'm," Another cough. "Fine. I swear."

"If you insist."

After a while, I turned to face her, worried she wasn't enjoying herself anymore, only to find her sound asleep, clinging lightly to my shirt. See? I told you were sleepy. You just refused to listen to me. I stopped and watched the girl, moving little by little, afraid of waking her up.

She looked so peaceful. Though, it wouldn't be the first time I find her sleeping in my presence. I tugged a small strand of hair behind her ear as she shifted a little. I immediately paused. Shit, had I woken her? Though she soon returned to her slumber and she curled up into a ball in front of me.

I suppose this would suffice.

"Goodnight, darling." I whispered softly, laying next to her in the bed. "See you in the morning."

-----

[2nd person]

You awoke early in the morning, feeling well rested. Your bed was awfully more comfortable than you had remembered. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, finally opening them for the first time, only to find that you weren't in your own room. It took you a while to let things simmer in.

That's when you heard snoring next to you.

You turned to find the Radio Demon cuddled into a ball next to you in bed sleeping oh so soundly. The poor man probably hadn't had sleep in days. Before you could process what was happening, you checked the time and realized you had to be back at the bar for work in 5 minutes. Not wanting to wake Alastor up, you left him a quick note to thank him and left.

----

The whole day passed and you never caught sight of Alastor. After closing the bar, you headed to Alastor’s room,hoping to find him there.

You stop at his door and break out a tiny laugh.

On the door, a rushed sign saying — Sick. Keep out.

[cottondo]

ALSTOR X READER oneshot ; annoying

Another day in the hazbin hotel, another day of boredom. And what better way to kill the everlasting devastation of being trapped in the underworld? Annoy Alastor.

And truth is, you really liked him.

It was routine at this point, really.

You’d imagine one of these days he would actually snap, and maybe chop you into a million bite sized pieces- - but he hasn’t. So far, anyway. It actually seemed like maybe he deep down enjoyed it? Like there was too much silence, and a little too much boredom, when your pestering wasn’t around.

“Y/N, if I have to ask, ONE more time… to please, stop—”

You’d been clicking the end of your pen for the last five minutes, taking little glances over your book to see how much you could get Alastor’s eye to twitch. Your record number was twice so far, but today you made it to four.

Your figure has been sitting beside him, curled up at the arm of the couch, while he sat on the other side, reading a book as well.

“What? What are you gonna do?” Your smirk increases, and you speak in a mocking tone.

Alastor’s hand grabs yours, gripping tightly around the fingers that held the pen. You pause, eyes widening down at it.

“I’ll make you stop.” His voice takes on a glitching radio effect, voice volume increasing to put on the very real bit of agitation you finally caused him. The redness in his eyes glow, and glitching in the realm of your reality seemed to fracture for a moment; His smile never left, though.

“Ha— oh please,” you scoff at him, rolling your eyes away. “You love it.”

His demon powers never scared you. Well, okay, maybe a little bit. But, you two were close. Known each other basically for the entire time of being down in hell together. You knew when his breaking point was when it came to other demons, but with you? He lasted a little bit longer.

Alastor hums to himself with a narrow eyed smirk, and releases his hand from yours, brushing himself off. “Why do you insist on causing trouble you don’t need to get into?” He asks.

You shrug, smiling over at him. “Guess I just never learn?”

“That could be one reason.” The radio demon rolls his eyes, smile prominent, turning back to the book in hand.

“Just admit it, Al.” You smirk, clicking the end of the pen once, looking at him. “You’d be so bored without me here.”

You click the pen again. And again. And again.

“I beg to differ,” his eyebrow lowers slightly, and you start to see the twitch in his eye coming back. “There’s plenty of entertainment around- -”

He pauses, looking over to your hand again, to where you hold the pen close to you, smirking and clicking it with the top of your thumb.

“—Do I need to dismember your wrist?” He tilts his head, eyeing you curiously.

You smile smugly right back at him, and shake your head innocently. “No? Why? Is something bothering you?”

That was it. He broke.

Alastor made a static noise, reaching forward, before completely snatching the pen out of your hand, and snapping it in two.

You deadpan him, making a crooked smile. Dammit.

He sighs with content, a bright smile beaming, and sits back down to his spot and holds up the book again. “Oh, whatdya know! It can be fun to have you around!”

Your lip turns to a pout. “You suck.”

__________________________________

This one sucks I’m sorry lmao

[peachesofteal]

OHHHH I SEE WE ALL HAVE OMEGAVERSE FRENZY IN THIS HOUSE

What if Darling DID INDEED take suppressants for almost all her life after she presented as omega

BUT but but the reason she was off them was because a doctor told her she was in risk of losing all her ability to produce pheromones.

“Losing your capability of producing pheromones can come with a number of issues,” she tells you. “For starters, your heat cycles would be reduced to at least half of their frequency. There is also a decrease of libido, as well as a decrease in fertility. It is also not uncommon for omegas to experience separation or breakup with their partners, especially if they're alphas, but not to be–”. However, you stopped listening after separation.

You thought about that comment your co-worker made in passing about being dumped by his two alpha partners after he couldn't carry pups due to hormonal problems. He was promptly thrown out into the streets. Abandoned. Tossed away like a broken glass; no purpose and no means for existing, nor to fix it.

Surely, they wouldn't leave you for something like that, could they? But then the back of your mind whispered with its little secrets and ideas. Sure, your secondary gender wasn't all that glued you to them, but it had something to do, at least, right? A happy, little omega waiting for them at home.

“There are, however, solutions and treatments that we could possibly try.”

That snaps you out of your own thoughts.

“When was your last heat?”

You could vividly remember it. Your then partner asking you once more to sleep separately from them, because your heats not only bothered them, but also disgusted them.

“More than five years ago.”

Your doctor then stayed quiet for a few moments, the gears in her mind working.

“There is a possibility of this change in your glands to revert back to what it was, but you might have to forget about suppressants for a year at least.”

And Darling says yes, whatever it takes.

And this is how Darling had to stop taking suppressants for a year and deal with a heat every two months, and while that did indeed helped to start reverting the alteration in her glands, it also left her to deal with her own heats alone.

She never asked for help because she always knew when Simon and Johnny had their ruts, usually staying a couple days on base even though the op was over. Because she didn't want to think wrongly of them (would they be disgusted with her heat cycles just like it happened, out of the blue, in her three past relationships?), but also she really didn't want to be a bother to them. There was a reason why they stayed on base while they went through their ruts and decided not to come home to her. So she got through her heats and welcomed them both home with cuddles and stories about her job.

(Not knowing that the reason they didn't come to her while rutting, was because they didn't want to overwhelm her, and their shared ruts could get pretty rough in bed, very different from what they wanted to happen when fantasizing about you letting them take care of your heats)

And imagine once Johnny and Simon find out about this, when you tell them in the middle of a fever induced ramble, in tears.

About how Darling not only doesn't trust them to deal with her heats but is also afraid of them being disgusted with her, afraid of them abandoning her once she (in her mind) became useless to them 👁️👁️ both hurt and betrayed by this, but torn because they desperately want Darling to at least let them bring her snacks and clothes.

(But also I love the angst. It makes the thought of Johnny and Simon eventually helping Darling through her heats more satisfactory LMAO The thought of Soap and Ghost banging Darling until they kick out the insecurity out of her is tempting)

— 🫔 Anon, with love to you Peach and everyone else that's feral for omegaverse right now, just like me 🥰 fr I wish the best for you all A/B/O enthusiasts and especially for you Peach, for creating not only excellent work but also a safe space to talk about unhinged AUs<3

TAMALE 🫔 ANON 🫔 I love you and your beautiful brain. Never leave me. Stay here in our safe little au bubble forever.

And this anon! Lots of love 🩵 your brainchild really got to me

18+ MDNI / Dead Disco omegaverse au / Mature themes / I still have no idea what we're doing with these but let's go with it

At first, you think it’s a fever.

Your head is cloudy, like you’re in some sort of sick fog. You try over and over to focus on your work, but after you make the same mistake on paperwork, three times in a row.

But when your stomach starts to cramp, sweat slicking along your lower back, you know it’s not just a fever.

You know it’s something else.

You fire off an email to your boss referencing your heat leave before you lock your office for the week, week and a half you’ll be gone.

You’re not particularly ready for this one. You haven’t gone to the grocery store. You haven’t washed your linens, haven’t collected the usual pile of hoodies and shirts for nesting.

Not to mention, the timing. The guys have already been gone for two weeks. They could come home in the middle of it, could discover your lie, all your lies. About the suppressants. About your feelings. About the truth.

“You have to come off the suppressants.” You blink, trying to register her words.

“N-no. I… I can’t.” She doesn’t understand. You can’t go off your suppressants. The guys… they share each other’s ruts, they don’t need a heat cycle on top of it.

She says your name with sigh, before glancing at you over her glasses, lips twisted.

“Are you in safe place now? A safe home? With a pack?”

“Yes but they’re not my mates, obviously.” You’ve always been insistent that you don’t need the bite to be with the guys, that you don’t need a heat to be in a relationship with them. That you’re enough, the way you are. After what happened to you in your young life, you had vowed to stay on suppressants for the rest of your life. And even though they didn’t know the truth of everything, they supported you.

And they’ve always agreed. They’ve never pushed you, about the suppressants. Never tried to bully you or convince you otherwise. They’ve always told you they love you, no matter what.

But will they feel the same now? If you change? If you turn into some heat driven Omega?

They already have each other to satisfy themselves. Would they even know what to do with a heat? Would they even want to?

“You’re in a safe place. Your life has changed so much, don’t you think it’s time you give yourself a chance?” She doesn’t get it. They won’t want this. Won’t want you.

“I can’t, I-“

“It’s your decision to make, but I want you to be fully aware of the risks. The suppressants are impacting your ability to produce pheromones. If it continues, your fertility will also be negatively affected.” Your stomach sinks like a stone. Fertility. The one thing you and Johnny and Simon whisper about in the dark sometimes, a baby, or two, a family. “Do you understand?” She’s kind, sympathetic but firm, and you nod.

“Yes.”

You’ve known there’s something amiss with you, and your cycle. That there’s something wrong with your heats. You spend most of them in the closet, or under the bed, fighting flashbacks of your past and trying bring yourself relief to no avail. When you come out of them, you’re often confused. Disorientated. Missing entire days. It’s almost like you’re not even really there, and sometimes you catch yourself rubbing your gland with your wrist, trying to mimic a scenting by an Alpha. One of your Alphas.

Google tells you that it’s common for traumatized Omegas to react this way. That Omegas who have been abandoned or lost their mates, often try to self soothe during their cycles. Omegas who have been abused.

You usually stop doom scrolling once you get to articles about failed bonds and bites, opting to to bury your face in one of the pillows, trying not to scream out your frustration. Trying to to get lost in your own panic, the fog that’s settling further and further into your mind, making it harder for you discern fact from fiction.

Eventually, you can’t fight it anymore. Your instincts take over, pushing into a space that feels too warm, too close, while your body rages, stomach twisting up in awful cramps. You burrow yourself in the closet, piling your blankets and pillows and articles of clothing until it feels almost right.

It does nothing to drown out the thoughts in your head. Your hindbrain is in control now. It’s taken over, buried common sense for instinct.

It’s not right. Your mates aren’t here. They left you. Your Alphas don’t want you.

You have no mates. No one to breed you. No one to give you what you need.

You’re alone. You’re not safe.

It’s going to happen again.

“Omega?” There’s a voice, calling to you. Two scents that are familiar, woodsmoke and gunpowder, juniper and ocean spray. “Hey, there ye are.”

A hand reaches towards you, and you press yourself against the wall. Don’t touch. Don’t let them touch.

“Darling,” that name. You know that name. “it’s okay. It’s us, you’re alright.”

[jyoongim]

I apologize in advance for how annoying i might be with this game you’re doing on here 🧍‍♀️

but anyways here we goooo

(if my irl moot sees this please look away LMAO)

Oooo i got purple and prompt 4‼️‼️

Ima need Alastor x reader on this one SUE ME I LOVE THAT MAN OKAY?🗣️���️🗣️

# 45 ( the last one specifically OMGGG??!)

# 21 (i’m a sucker for praise ✊😔)

# 22 (consent is SEXYYYY UGHH)

# 24

# 60

# 49

okay so i know these are a lot of prompts..but this sounds so DELICIOUS??? lots of teasing but eventually he caves,bc he loves her 🫶 and he wants to make her feel good..but she wants to make sure HES feeling good too.. UGH im screaming into mh pillow just thinking about itttt

Also i LOVE the way you write moot 🫶 make sure you’re taking care of yourself since you’re getting back into the swing of things again! :))

prompt 4, combined #45/21/22/60/49: “toying with a piece of clothing, whether that be the collar of a shirt, undoing a belt, or sliding a finger underneath the waistband and letting it snap against your skin/thats it, fuck, that’s a good/girl/boy/youre mine/do that again-shit, just like that,right there/don’t be shy baby, i love the way you moan my name/sighing softly at your ear so you can hear how much you affect them”

@sweet-radio YOU HORN DOG!!!! So many requests you have left me hehehe

———————————————————————————————-

Hands trailed your body as you withered against Alastor.

Sharp claws played with the band of your panties before pulling and letting it snap back against your skin, making you jolt. He chuckled at you. His fingers crept into your panties to your heat. 

“A-Al-” your lips parted in a soft gasp as he pressed against your clit, rubbing the nub until he dipped two fingers into you. Your back arched, head thrown back against his shoulder. 

He scissored his fingers before curling them, rubbing against your soft walls. “O-Oh fuck” you whimpered as he fucked his fingers into you. Lewd wet noises sounded as your cunt grew wetter. Alastor hummed in your ear “such a sweet cunt, taking my fingers so eagerly”

You squirmed, rolling your hips inn rhythm with his hand, grinding your clit into his palm.

You panted as soft moans escaped your throat, teeth biting your plump lip to try and contain your moans. 

A curl of his fingers had you mewling, Alastor cooing at you as his other hand untucked your lip “Don’t hide those sweet sounds my dear, let me hear you sing my praises”

You felt your orgasm coming to the forefront, whining as his fingers curled against that sweet spot deeep inside you.

”oooh Al ha! Fu-fuck ha!” Your body shuddered as a high pitch whine left you. “That’s a good girl. That’s right. Take it.” Alastor brawled in your ear as your slick soaked his hand and your panties.

You panted as he pulled his hand from your cunt, bringing his coated fingers to his lips, sucking your juices off.

”such a pretty cunt and its all mine. Mine” he growled, ripping your panties and flipping you around to face him. You leaned against his shoulder as the red demon guided your hips against his hardened length.

He lifted you slightly and you heard the sound of his belt buckle and a cry left your lips when he sunk you down onto his cock, stretching your gummy walls.

He groaned into your ear, growling as your hips moved.

His chest rumbled, vibrating your body as he huffed and purred.

His lips kissed along your shoulder.

Your cunt grew wetter at the sound of the Overlord groaning into your ear. “Hear how good you make me feel cherie? Only a cunt as fine as your can do such a thing”

His hips rutted up into you, cock hitting your cervix deliciously, pulling a cry from your lips.

”please AH! Ha! Please Alastor” you whined into his neck, pushing your hips back into his thrusts.

Your gummy walls clenching, making the demon gasp as you hugged his length. “S-Shit do that again baby” Alastor hissed, pushing your hips flush against his.

Your second orgasm approached faster than the first and your moans rung out like a song to his ears.

Alastor growled before slamming your hips down, forcing you to take his cock, milking it of its essence. He left out a sigh as he twitched coating your walls in his cum, grinding into to to prolong both of your release.

You let out a ragged groan as he softened and slipped from you, any remaining cum starting to leak and form a puddle between the both of you.

”Yes all mine indeed”

[prince-liest]

Do you think you'd ever want to write something about cursed cat alastor? I feel like you could make "al gets turned into a cat lolol" about the metaphysical horror of losing your autonomy and identity or something wild like that.

Also along with being a fantastic character writer, you are also hysterical so it would be equally upsetting as funny I think

I was going to say that my interest in cursed cat Alastor primarily takes the form of looking at art of a hilarious tiny little vibrating ball of malice and unholy intentions, but then I read the rest of the ask and I have to admit, anon, you have me fucking pegged to a T, that is exactly how I'd write that, LMAO.

God. "Character turned into a cat" is such a time-honored fanfic staple for, like, characters who need help and love (and possibly assistance recovering from a giant chest wound) but are fully unwilling to accept it normally, and so get turned into a helpless creature that everyone as a standard accepts as needing to be cared after with a side bonus of "nobody knows it's them so it's a little more okay" and also "they can still lash out and be ornery and it's kind of taken for granted because, well: cat".

It would suit Alastor SO perfectly. The forced, unwilling exchange of control and bodily autonomy for freely provided care would make him SO unwell. Humans anthropomorphize the stress behaviors of cute animals in ways that ignore or infantilize them all the time. I think we should inflict that on Alastor until he fucking snaps. Did you know cats can growl? They don't do it unless they're very upset.

And Lucifer would NEVER get to consume a single cup of coffee before it smashes to smithereens on the kitchen floor as long as Alastor remains a cat.

[p0rkbun]

SAM CARPENTER FLUFF — headcanons

⤿Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader

⤿Content Warning: None, just fluff, maybe cringe writing, implied kpop listener reader

⤿A/N: okay i was chatting with ai sam and these are from character ai and made me think 'hey she would do this'. It's cute headcanons, i should have did this on her bday but instead i photoshoped her with hearts and a hat LMAO. Also I didn't spell check this I'm sorry. Enjoy ♡

navigation✧

──── Sam is the type of girl to ask what your favourite music genre or artists/bands when you ride a car together the first time because she wanted some music in you two's lovely ride. When you tell her, she keeps it in mind and put it on next time.

"Aespa?" She asks, you nod as she keeps her eyes on the road "okay, aespa, i'll remember that." She smiles while nodding, repeating the name in her head.

──── You two went to the movies on your first date (cheesy i know) you picked a horror movie, she probably didn't like that bit it wasn't a slasher movie so it made her feel a bit better. When you two were watching the movie, there was a jumpscare and you flinched slightly while leaning towards Sam out of defense. She let out a small smile and would purposely offer her arm for you to grab in case you get really scared (she was probably a bit frightened too but she's being brave because she wanted you to grab her arm, she just like your touch that's all).

──── Let me tell you something, this woman radiates The Neighbourhood, especially the songs Female Robbery and Reflections. I don't know if she would listen to it but she is the personification of almost every The Neighbourhood song.

"We were too close to the stars, I never knew somebody like you"

"I see my reflection in your eyes"

"I see myself in you, baby"

(This is a heavy reference to my oc LOL)

──── Sam wouldn't be very knowledgable of video games to me, though i feel like she plays mobile games like candy crush or something. She would sometimes watch you play video games when she's passing by or sitting in the same room, she comments on what you are doing or how you are doing that and questions why you didn't shoot an enemy.

"Baby why didn't you shoot that guy? You could have taken him" She says with a confused look, watching you play valorant on the tv screen.

"Sam that's not me, I'm spectating another teammate-"

"What's that red triangle thing on the top?" "That's the spike" "the spike?" "It's a bomb" "oh...okay"

──── The time you convinced her to play, she was a little lost and asks you questions often. She gets the hang of the controlls and is actually pretty good. She would get a little mad when someone steals her kill, she rages with a frustrated sigh everytime she got killed too much. She talks back to every toxic players in the game, she was cursing at the screen and she looked absolutely pissed so you had to turn the game off before she threw the controller at tv out of anger. You don't let her play any fps game again. Not only for her sake but for your precious tv.

──── She absolutely enjoys watching you play story-based games, especially when you two play and make decisions together. She probably cried after playing tlou and life is strange. Besides that, she doesn't play video games unless you play it.

──── This woman is so protective, overprotective I say but you all know this. If you wanna go out, she's going too, she keeps a hand on your waist every time you go to public places. Definately death glares anyone who is looking at you/both of you weirdly or too long.

"You got a problem?" Sam snaps as she holds your waist protectively when she sees a guy eyeing you oddly.

──── It does get a little too much sometimes but you like her protectiveness. She gets jealous too but it's more of insecurity, you have to reassure her that you love her and no one else.

──── She likes holding you, has a hand on you all the time. She likes the feeling of you around her arms because she knows that you're protected by her. Because of that, she also takes care of you and reminds you of stuff. She asks if you eaten, drink etc. She reminds you to take a break whenever you're working too much, alternatively she brings you the food she cooked while you work on your projects. Despite this, she also loves being held and cared by you, it flutters her heart whenever you're taking care of her and cooking her favourite meals after she comes from work. She likes the sound of your heartbeat when you two cuddle and she has her head on your chest.

──── I know i said that she holds you 24/7 but when you two cuddle, she's the small spoon, whether you're short or tall.

──── She's very delicate and soft with you, like i said, she wants to protect and take care of you. She is a tough cookie but she's whipped for you. She gets a little dramatic when you get injured a teeny bit.

──── Have you seen her arms? Her beefy arms and abs are your favourite things in the world besides her. She works out often, you go to the gym with her once in a while and you really love the sight of her working out. You ended up gawking her the whole time instead of working out as well, she notices and teases you with a smirk while sweat is dripping off of her muscular body.

"You like what you see, baby? Y'know, you could have told me that you wanted to stare at me while i work out instead of pretending to wanna work out with me" She chuckles as she lifts her weights "Don't get ahead of yourself." you reply with a flushed face.

──── She doesn't show affection in public that much unless she got jealous but in private she loves kissing and showering you with love. Her kisses are soft and slow, she really is being delicate with you. Though in other occasions (*cough* intimate moments *cough*) you two make out and she practically is eating your face as she pushes down on the bed. She just loves kissing your lips, neck and shoulders. She is very much a big soft teddy bear ♡

A/N: I accidently posted this halfway OH MY GODHSJSBSJS. Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, english isn't my native language 💔. Anyways, I love you and please comment your thoughts ♡♡♡♡ i might edit this constantly after i post it...

°.✧•—✦

[powderblueblood]

how would they handle a pregnancy scare?

TW pregnancy scare i guess WHOOPS it’s ANGSTY in here lmao

HAHA. well!

“did this take this long the first time we did it?”

oh, you mean the first time they did it when lacy bought nancy wheeler’s pregnancy test and they had to wait around in the freezing broken boys bathroom in the middle of midwinter to see if harrington had sired something?

“no,” lacy says, extracting her little finger from her mouth where she’s chewed it to mince, “time has slowed down to a glacial pace in order to punish me for my sins.”

eddie, sitting in the bathtub, attempts a grin. he’s not feeling too spiffy either. “getting locked out of wed?”

“coming off the fucking pill.”

how late is she? late enough to mention, late enough to worry. see, lacy’d been on the pill since they began this little world-axis-shifting dalliance of theirs so she and eddie had enjoyed the luxury of bareback, so to speak. she had put a lot of faith in that thing, but it so happened that she started getting these splitting migraines and low, low, low moods so her campus doctor had suggested that she come off the pill for a little bit. see if that changed anything. hormone imbalance and all that.

problem was, it was kind of hard to remember that she had come off it. those first couple of times, it was kind of an event, lacy making sliding that condom onto eddie almost ritualistic in a way that had him near to busting. but a time or two after that, it kinda… slipped their mind.

it happens. right? or is she stupid all of a sudden?

eddie’s a good boyfriend. drove her right to the drugstore, walked her right up to the counter so at least if the clerk gave her a dirty look, he was giving it to both of them.

but there’s just… something…

“you haven’t… changed your mind or anything?”

the last time they did this, eddie had asked her if she wanted kids. they hadn’t gotten together yet, but the tension between them was like a pot boiling over. spitting everywhere.

“i fully reserve the right to change my answer given the fact that we are eight-shitting-teen years old.”

but now she is twenty. her twenty first birthday looming, in fact.

eddie, doe eyed, watches lacy like he knows she’s got a knot in her chest, because she does. he watches her hands curl over her face, shoulders tense.

“not even…”

because a good girlfriend would say yes, right? a good girlfriend would be like, yes, of course, because i worship the ground you walk on, because i should drop all notions of my life without a second thought at the mere suggestion of a kid with you, because it would make you so happy. and i love you, so much. all i want is to make you happy. i’d eat the sun if that meant anything to you.

that’s what a good girlfriend would do, right? that’s how she would act. overjoyed. dreamy eyed. we’ll make it work, baby, you and me.

and there’ll always be the notion that we shackled each other to this town we purport to hate. and i’ll watch you avoid becoming your father and you’ll watch me become mine. and a little bit of my mother, too. and wayne will still hate me, even moreso for trapping you here. and in between, there’ll be this baby who didn’t ask for any of this at all.

“you can’t hate me for this,” lacy chokes. “i’m begging you.”

i was raised in resentment and i would never risk doing that to another child.

eddie feels sick. he hauls out of the bathtub to wrap his arms around her but his heart is hammering in his ears.

of course he wants this. and when he pictures a kid that theoretically has his eyes and her nose, he gets scared when he can’t really see her in those visions. others, sure. they’re clear as day. eddie knows what their wedding bands will look like, and what she’ll look like brushing her hand through her hair when she’s wearing it.

but he doesn’t see lacy glowing and barefoot, even though he’s tried.

“i don’t… lace…”

elizabeth munson was twenty when she had eddie. al was a little older. she’d snapped her life in half to uproot from memphis to hawkins, only to die six years after.

eddie really tries to make it not feel like a crusade to better his father’s wrongs, when he imagines it. you know?

“because i love you so much, i love you so much that i couldn’t take it,” lacy’s voice cracks in time with his heart, “if you hated me for this.”

a horrible thought flashes through eddie’s mind. would you do it if it meant i would never hate you?

“i love you,” is all he says into her hair, “i really, really love you.”

they stand on the cold tile of the bathroom for a long time. two people very much in love, and seemingly at odds.

eddie peers over lacy’s head at the watch on the counter.

“alright, sweetheart.” feels impersonal. he never calls her that. that’s for the outside world.

lacy picks up the stark white strip from the test tube, and her voice shakes.

“well. a lot of drama over… nothing. i’m sorry.”

eddie watches her shrink into herself, and would easily sock himself in the jaw if he thought it would do any good.

“hey!” his dazzling smile comes into her view, and she nearly buys it for a second. “forget about it, okay? who needs some fucking loser baby, right?”

but what eddie means, in that present moment, at twenty years old, is until next time.

and what lacy knows, in that present moment, at twenty years old, is there won’t be one.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 14 thoughts

i just finished the episode and stared at the screen for a bit and then burst into laughter because. what the hell did i just watch?

all i could think of while viewing this episode was that video of brittany broski in epcot sipping on a drink, shaking her head in confusion, and saying "heyyy! what are we doing?"

lmao. okay. so let's start from the top. man hold on i'm giggling again due to how baffled i am. okay i need to Get It Together.

(i assume that those who read this blog are already familiar with this episode so i'm not gonna list TWs and i normally don't feel the need to but we get some... interesting flavors here, like child abuse and antisemitism mention. and to be clear, i am not laughing at those- i am laughing about how utterly confused i am, and how i have no answers to anything, and only more questions than before this episode began)

so the episode title is in german and i had no idea what it meant but it was quickly explained. we'll get to that.

we start at a PTA meeting- a parent-teacher association, arguably the scariest of all settings we have yet encountered. and they're arguing about the school musical. someone wants to do jesus christ superstar (banger show) but they think that is inappropriate so i'm like oh, they're just super christian, and hippie jesus must offend them. and they also shoot down the idea of grease for language so this only reinforces my belief.

they start praying, which was in line with my earlier assumptions, but they're praying to satan. which raises the question: why does satan care if the musical grease says "fuck"?

(but this made the idea of JCS being inappropriate very very funny)

they're chanting the german that the episode is titled, which means "his is the hand that wounds" which tracks i suppose

now we're in the woods of new hampshire, with some teenagers, one of which says this girl's mittens are "giving him a gingrich". so i looked that up thinking it was some sort of 90's slang i was not versed in, but the only result was a reddit post trying to figure out what they meant in that exact episode. which did make me feel justified.

so these teens are being creepy, reciting things at a witch's altar and it looks like the boys are gonna try and be weird with the girls. they're doing some reciting and RATS BE UPON YE.

they're making a break for it, when the lead guy's neck is snapped. and we don't see by who.

enter our agents! the policeman is saying that he KNOWS they listen to that devil music, to which mulder quips, "the night chicago died?", so i had to google THAT too, and its a song about al capone. so i'll look into that i suppose.

policeman is like noooo, it's that evil METAL music

they're examining the altar, and scully asks who he was with, and the policeman says uhh we thought he was by himself? she says well, there's two six packs here, which generally suggests company, and also here's a scrap from a book. why didn't your guys notice this? and i thought this was going to be a plot point, how the cops were overlooking basic details, but they just sucked for no reason lmao

i also made a note that her hair looked really good here. a little wavy. the way i wished my hair looked.

mulder's going on about this place having a weird feeling, which i wish he would elaborate upon, but she's saying nooo, it's nothing, until...

toads fall out of the sky and onto their umbrellas.

YES BABY!!! CAMP TV!!!! TOAD SHOWERS!!!

(also gonna NEED their reactions in gif form at some point because i'm howling)

((and also how did they film that? go to the toad store to pick up some background actors?))

they go to the library to try and trace down who had the book they found the scrap from, and scully's theory is that the toads must have been brought by the tornadoes that were recently in the area. this is a scully approved theory.

they go into the school to try and talk to the surviving boy, who is sitting in science class with a sub, and when they announce they are looking for him the kid tries to jump out the window. but mulder is a track star and grabs his legs before he can fully yeet himself out. and i'm thinking to myself, if the FBI came and grabbed some kid in my science class, i think i would pass out.

our agents pull this kid and the two girls who were there aside for questioning, and the boy says he was just trying to "get some". at the witch's altar. a sick and twisted juvenile.

CUT SCENE to the PTA who say amongst themselves that one of them must have killed the boy, whose name is jerry, but they all deny it. he was killed with his heart and eyes ripped out, which is in line with their practices. so yeah that's suspicious but after that episode of trophy hunting killers, it could be anyone.

but when our agents enter the scene, the PTA say that it must have been the media that brainwashed the kids into satanic killers. and scully is like. if that were the case there would be tens of thousands of murders. and they say "okay so you get the stakes here" which had me howling. "tHe mEdiA iS bRaInWaShInG tHe cHiLdrEn" <- wow this is something i cannot say i have heard in the year of our lord 2024 (/s)

when they walk out of the school, mulder stops to get a drink at a water fountain. which is already funny because that's a grown ass man. when he notices that the water is going down the wrong way for the hemisphere they are in. and i'm laughing because why the HELL does he know which way the water is supposed to go down the drain. like i have never thought of that in my entire life and i guess now i will.

(btw this is never explained. we don't know why the water goes the other way here. witchcraft, i guess)

at this point, i'm thinking, this substitute teacher has to be the killer, and she opens up the drawer of her desk to put away the tests the students were taking, and we see a heart and eyeballs. gasp! i paused the screen here to make note of this revelation and the eyeballs on stalks looked sososo funny. and she just COVERS THEM UP with some papers which i can imagine must have been hard to grade after being soaked in blood.

they take a trip to the school therapist and mulder says boy, there are an awful lot of cases of mental health troubles here. and the doctor says, yes, this is high school. which honestly? i remember high school and yeah. that does track. it was a strange time. but mulder is not pleased with this explanation and expects that it's something deeper

scully went online and found what sounds like a report on the case- a boy killed with his eyes and heart removed- and mulder is like omg where did you get this?

well. i did not see this coming.

she then keeps reading and it is deeply antisemitic. actually allow me to do a verbatim report from the notes here:

"she went online and i was like haha she used this newfangled internet :) AND THEN SHE READS AN ARTICLE CALLING A SIMILAR CASE ACTUAL BLOOD LIBEL?? MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR IN RECORD TIME oh she found it in a Nazi newspaper from 1934... oh my gosh y'all i thought this was going in a VERY different direction"

so i thought that maybe this was framing the murder as an act of religious persecution? but it wasn't. they just threw that in there for... reasons?

mulder explaining wiccan lore... yeah that's a man who has studied religions

at this point, we are back in the science classroom, and the substitute teacher is handing out baby pigs. OUGH. i am so glad i never had to do that in school.

this poor girl is about to cut into the pig and she looks like she is going to be sick, which is in all honesty exactly what i would have been doing, but then she starts screaming and seeing things like the pig moving??? and squeaking???

she runs to the office, where the agents are serving looks in a corner, and she's told her dad is gonna come get her, but she runs away and mulder chases her and says "you're remembering!" because he is once again convinced of the reality of repressed memories due to his own personal experience

they're staring at this teenager as she sits crying on a picnic bench spilling her life story and again, the whole dealing with kids thing, who thought this was gonna be part of the fbi? not me!

this girl is crying, saying that her stepdad used to hurt her, and that they would chant and tie her and her sister up.... and well. this next part will also be best delivered from my notes verbatim:

"THEY WOULD GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN THEY WOULD KILL THE BABIES???? HUH??? I'VE HAD THREE CHILDREN AND THEY'RE ALL BURIED IN THE CELLAR??? STEPDAD KILLED HER SISTER??? WHAT THE FUCK"

and boy we do not even sort have time to unpack all of that. but it is safe to say that i was thoroughly gagged, and our agents seem only mildly surprised. in retrospect, i think they didn't believe her, which was further proved by a line like "imagine if what she is saying is true", but i, the viewer, believed her pig-induced memories

the girl is hysterical, and scully moves closer to hug her, and hold her while she sobs into her trench coat, and i'm sitting here wondering what is going on (very few answers are delivered btw)

(shoutout to scully to letting a strange teenager cry into her while confessing to all of That)

so the agents go over to the girl's parent's house, the stepdad of whom is in the PTA cult btw, and they ask about the things the daughter told them and i was shocked because. if they really WERE killing babies, telling them they knew about it could perhaps allow the parents to tamper with the evidence sitting in the basement. but the parents are shocked by the whole thing.

scully is asking why the daughter would say all this- and the mom is saying that her and stepdad have been having marriage problems- but i don't think that leads to THESE SORT OF CLAIMS?

at this point, i was deeply confused. i had no idea what to believe or where the narrative was leading me beyond the fact the substitute was evil. i wrote that i was "mentally putting up a board and there is string everywhere and i'm trying to figure out what is going on"

the girl had mentioned a sister who was killed by the stepdad at age 8- and scully says, well did you have any other kids? and the mom says yeah, one who died. and was she 8 when she died? not 8 years, but 8 weeks.

so what is going on here

scully is trying to be pretty careful and tiptoe around the situation, figure out what is real and what isn't, whereas mulder gets alone with stepdad and just asks him "did you do it?" which had me HOWLING. absolutely zero subtlety in this man.

he opens the door to the cellar and it SLAMS shut and stepdad man gets VERY angry and tells them to leave. can you do that? kick the fbi out while they're investigating you? i didn't realize that was an option

okay, so the girl is trying to make up her final, and is back with the substitute making up her pig autopsy because it's a final and of course you don't want to miss a final! the teacher takes her jewelry so it doesn't get dirty which makes sense to me, but then we see her in her office burning it over a candle??? and she's MOANING??? and it seems she's controlling the girl into CUTTING HER ARM??? she's bleeding out on the floor. and i'm still wondering what the hell is going on. but this poor girl is dead.

the agents are at the crime scene and the substitute is being weird af but i guess that's to be expected of someone who just did psychic murder

the PTA committee says the energy is very bad and they need to do a sacrifice to clear the air... so they say they're gonna frame the girl who just died as killing jerry, the og murdered boy, and say that she was jealous he liked another girl. and the stepdad seems pleased with this plot, which only made me further believe that he did the evil things he denied.

so at this point i was thinking, has anyone thought to check the cellar and see if there are in fact babies down there. no? just me? okay

mulder smells incense in the substitute's office, which she says is to cover the smell of pig, but he knows is also used in black mass, and frankly i'm shocked that it didn't set off the fire alarms, because i went to public school and i know how finicky those things are. but the situation is looking sus as hell because the actual teacher she's subbing for has only EVER missed these two days of school and also apparently he's out with... flesh-eating bacteria? that seems a bit odd, don't you think? AND no one can recall hiring this substitute.

there was a very loud and spooky clap of lightning here that felt reminiscent of the halloween specials of shows i used to watch as a kid. and i was wondering if this was perhaps meant as a halloween special of sorts. can anyone confirm.

mulder must have picked up on me telling him to go check the cellar for babies, so he gets a warrant and goes down there, but STEPDAD IS WAITING FOR HIM IN THE DARK! he's monologuing about his religion, and being raised to think that humans are no better than animals...

but then those in the PTA decided they would frame his dead daughter for jerry's murder, he realizes he IS better than an animal! better late than never for such a basic realization to hit, i suppose?

he also says that his beliefs were responsible for her being killed. so i hoped he would elaborate and surprise. he did not.

he admits to including them in ceremonies because the blood of the young is very powerful (???) but he says he never hurt them the way she claimed. and there were definitely no babies. she must have gotten that from the tabloids, and it mixed in with the repressed memories. which doesn't sound like how repressed memories work so i do not trust this guy still.

meanwhile the substitute is doing some witchery, while scully is still in the school! this cannot bode well for her!!!!

mulder is shocked by stepdad's stupidity, and says "did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?" which is objectively a banger line, even if used quite literally

the witch/substitute is moaning again and she's dialing numbers and mulder's phone rings, and scully's voice says there's something going on in the school, so he handcuffs stepdad to the cellar to get tf out of there, and locks the door behind him, but the cellar door OPENS????

A SNAKE IS COMING NOW???? he is BIG and is he gonna EAT stepdad...?

YES HE IS??? BOA AROUND THE NECK AND TORSO??? HUH?? what is going ON.

mulder arrives at the school just as the snake begins to feast, and he has his gun drawn and does his famous "scully?" yell, when he bursts in on her... just chilling in the dark and doing her work LMAO. he's all "why did you call?" and she says "i didn't?"

meanwhile the snake is doing some serious eating and the SUB HAS SNAKE EYES NOW?? HELLO?

they rush back to stepdad's place, where they find the door unlocked, and nothing but human bones on the ground and what looks like a snake track, which scully points out is impossible because it would take HOURS for a snake to eat a human and then weeks to digest...

and he makes some comment about her watching TLC and i'm thinking, well, i feel like knowing how long a snake would take to eat a human is more relevant than knowing which way the water goes down in a sink, so don't try and nerd shame her here.

but they find a snakeskin so they know it's a snake, and they remember there was a snake in the classroom, so it's time to get back there because clearly he has been consumed and there is not much that can be done to undo being eaten

the PTA folks are having a conference, talking about the death of stepdad, and how they need to make a sacrifice, and they say that if mulder knows what the sacrifice is for, it'll make it more meaningful, so ARE THEY GONNA SACRIFICE HIM??????

when mulder and scully return to the classroom, the substitute is moaning on the floor, saying she thinks the PTA folks killed the boy, and i'm like uh-huh, for sure, snake woman

scully opens her drawer and finds the eyeballs which are pretty incriminating... but as they go out to return to the substitute...

the PTA ATTACKS! a bookshelf is thrown on scully, and mulder is beaten by two men. and they are tied up and taken to the gym showers???? here i wrote "what the hell, there are two minutes left in this episode" and i was hoping it would somehow resolve itself so we didn't end up with another two parter and i could go to sleep after this in peace

(which. it did wrap up in those two minutes but i'm confused so there is little of the aforementioned peace i hoped for going on)

so the PTA crew has a dagger and a gun for sacrificial purposes, and they're about to be sacrificed in a high school gym shower, when the substitute uses her witch powers to make the PTA members turn the gun upon THEMSELVES, and frees our agents from their trouble. sort of. because they are still tied up and wet in the shower.

(does anyone know what the hell is happening.)

they stop writhing about and make it back to the classroom, where the substitute has written a note saying it's been nice working with you and then she's gone.

hey!! what ARE we doing here?

so i don't even know where to begin. i feel a lot of questions were raised and not one of them answered. what was up with that girl saying she was forced to give birth? were the parents denying it because it didn't happen or were they covering up the truth? what was with the whole eight year old vs eight weeks old dead sister? did the substitute kill jerry AND the girl, AND the PTA, and then just... leave? was she the dark force they were worshiping taking revenge on their lack of faith? but if that were the case, why would she kill the PTA members who were about to make a sacrifice? why would she kill the two kids and three adults but spare the agents? where did she go? why did she briefly have the eyes of a snake? where did the snake go? how did he eat a whole person that fast?

man. i'm not sure i've ever been so baffled.

was this an attempt to comment on the satanic panic? like, was the show pointing out how silly it was, or validating the fears of people across america?

i'm so deeply confused. can someone tell me if i'm missing something. was there some overarching theme that went over my head. is this setting up a part two where there will be answers. or is that the whole thing.

?????

[swantranslations]

Fullmetal Alchemist Exhibition -Hong Kong- Highlights & Cafe Menu

Guess WHO just came back from the fma exhibition today! I am still in my serotonin rush as I type out this post. Upon a mutual's request, I am sharing highlights and key features of this time's exhibition, especially the Hong Kong-only elements. Hope this helps anyone who is considering going and wants to know more about it!

All photos here are taken by myself. (aside from the last few which are from a news report)

See also: list of available goods + pricing (to be updated)

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Obligatory Entrance Photo!

Same as the original exhibition in Japan, at the entrance, there's the 20th anniversary Ed & Al figure, a 1:1 Al statue, and an animated transmutation circle that you can pose at.

(It is very hard to get the right timing to put down your hands though, since it moves really fast xD)

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Copies of 300+ genka are shown, and as you can see here, translated versions of the comic panels are displayed underneath the framed genka copies, which I think is very nice.

Unfortunately, much like the previous Malaysia exhibit, these are not the original genkas (it's probably too risky to ship them overseas?) but seeing these copies still made me really happy and the set-up is really awesome:) (link to set-up video)

Can't forget the coloured pages, of course! There's also one original signed illustration, but you're not allowed to take pictures of it, which is a bit sad but understandable.

There are also multiple special animations; check one of them out here!

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Costumes and props from the live-action movie are also displayed. The level of detail is really really nice ^^

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HK limited photo spots (modelled by me):

I am not sure if it's 100% accurate, but from what I have heard these two photo spots are Hong Kong-only. Please correct me if I am wrong!

Left: a wall with Mei's kunai that you can pose in front of and pretend to be Ed gaining back his right arm. Absolutely impossible to take a photo there while maintaining a straight face because it is ungodly hilarious and ridiculous. 6/10

Right: Gate of Truth door curtain near the exit; Very fun to push open and act out another iconic Ed scene (video link), or sit there and speak in a mocking ominous tone. 10/10

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Cafe:

After the exhibition, you can find the cafe inside the gift shop area. There are two extra-special items and a few other snacks that you can order; Listing all food items & their prices below!

Because I didn't order the special items, the below three photos are from HK01's report on the exhibition.

Left: The Flame Transmutation Set is fish cake + yakitori, and when you order it you'll get the food in a small black box, then the staff will help you light it up when you snap at it; basically you can pretend to be Mustang and "cook" the yakitori yourself xD

Right: The (Full)metal Transmutation Drink is peach soda, but it comes unmixed; you can put it on a special table with a transmutation circle drawn on it, and the table will shake and mix the drink for you. The idea is you can make your own liquid philosopher's stone and drink it lol

I think they're both really stupid but in an endearing way I guess lmao

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It's really late so I will organize and post the list of available goods tmr :3 stay tuned!

[vroombeams]

HAVE to know about knifey spooney lmao

such a misleading title for something that was sparked from the damn chicken shop date vid 😩 i think honestly we all as a society saw lando say 'i've never been the little spoon' and took it so very personally?

anyway i got real riled up about the whatever. trust and warmth and ease between jon and lando. you know!!! many such cases. i've been wanting to write a whole thing with jon just like getting lando all rubbed down and it just naturally leading into some extremely chilled out boneless fingering and then. well. spooning. because OBVIOUSLY that's how it should go!!

all of this to say is jondo has me in a perpetual chokehold etc it's the comfort it's the vulnerability it's me being a fuckin wibbly bitch about it all

clip after the cut!

“All in a day’s work,” Jon says. And it is part of the job, really, to make sure Lando’s less a sack of glass and more al dente noodle.  He bends with a warm hand hooked around Lando’s waist, kisses the back of Lando’s neck. Lando hums. He likes that.  Jon moves him and Lando lets it happen; Jon shaping him the way he wants him on the bed, spreading him out. Knee up, hips tipped just slightly back so his chest is still flat to the mattress and the rest of him is tilted. It leaves him open and vulnerable but here, with Jon, that doesn’t matter. “Never been the little spoon,” Jon laughs, soft. “You’re such a liar.”

(snaps open trenchcoat) hey buddy wanna ask about my wips

[puermalus-blog]

Someone else's tags fascinated me, as they brought up a talking point that I mentioned briefly but didn't elaborate enough, and how it actually solidifies his character even more.

The thing is that Jamil has been raised to always put others about himself, which means doing whatever he can to be amicable to most, so that no one would hold ill-intent towards the one the Al-Asims who he serves under, and to prioritize the wellbeing and safety of others, even if it's at the cost of his own wellbeing.

I believe he has been raised to put himself into harm's way whenever Kalim is in any danger, and it becomes the fact that his only priority is to make sure that the one he's serving is safe, even if it puts him in an incredibly dire situation. In Book 6, we see this instinct extend unto others, most notably when he was with Leona.

Although Jamil was more than capable of dealing with the phantoms, he ended up unintentionally underestimating Leona's abilities, who challenged his perception of being someone reliable enough to assist in dangerous situations, and immediately compared himself to be better than Azul, who Jamil percieves to be much worse than him.

It's the self-sacrificing, subconscious arrogance that he doesn't quite realize he has, in believing that he'll be able to handle anything that could cause harm unto the ones he has no choice but to protect, even if it means having to push himself beyond what he's capable of, that could very well cause his doom due to a combination of his hubris and how he's been raised to be.

Anyway this was all but a set-up for a potential canon storyline but it's unlikely they'll actually do anythin like it, so I was thinking maybe it could be a plot point for a fanfic where Jamil ends up sacrificing himself because he fails to challenge the expectations put unto him and instead succumbs to it, but Azul snaps him right out of it and tells him that he's not as so weak to need protecting, and that he can stand on his own too. He tells Jamil how he doesn't have to do and handle everything all alone, that they could instead work together for once.

Azul is more than willing to intervene knowing that he isn't just gonna stand back and watch as Jamil fails to value his own self-worth by senselessly sacrificing himself, but Azul waits until Jamil himself admits to actually trusting him, which ends up binding a spoken contract between the two, and the stipulations can be whatever you want them to be based on creative liberties ;)

aka I ran out of ideas lmao

It'd be a parallel to Book 4, except this time Jamil has to actually learn to trust Azul who ends up assisting in saving his life, yet again.

I'm not sure if this is even coherent enough, I just wanted to get these thoughts out there because the conflict that could come out of this

Is just way too good not to think consider further. It would challenge Jamil's biases towards the other, and at the same time, Azul could use that opportunity to prove himself that he's not as helpless as Jamil thinks him to be.

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 66: Holy Palace's Aladdin

It almost feels weird to return to Aladdin right now

Weird thingies

Idk, just that giant head is kinda silly

Also, damn, Aladdin's wobbly legs

Nvm, they aren't Schehe's clones. But it still confuses me a little, cuz I feel like it's sort of implied later on that they are? But I might be misremembering thing - I'll comment on it when I get to the Magnostadt Arc. For now it's just a bit ?? Like, it's a real possibility Ohtaka didn't plan that far ahead yet.

You look really sad about it for a guy who nearly murdered him in blind rage

Ok, to be fair, I can imagine him feeling bad about it after calming down. Still, weird choice to want to explain Alma Torran to Judar instead of, idk, Yunan for example. I feel like it would have made the whole dying-and-coming-back-over-and-over-again a little more bearable. To actually know the point of that. Bc when Aladdin and Yunan talk, Yunan admits that Ugo'd never explained anything, and in that form (the blob, probably) form he couldn't ask. So. That fucking sucked.

Anyway. Giving Solomon's Wisdom to Judar? Really? I think you're putting too much faith in that guy.

F

I... forgot that's what happened. I remembered they were the same guy, but that magic turning into one? Tbh, cool.

Pretty!

Hello there, characters nobody cares about, least of all Ohtaka

Don't worry, grls, I've got u.

Look at this annoyed Alibaba, lmao

F A T E

I mean, I jest, but it's pretty cool. Fate is one of Magi's main themes, that for sure, and to have it explained the way it is, I think it really works.

Black Sun

Honestly, I just love it being explained like that. Things becoming inverted, distorted.

Idk man, there's not much I think I can say about it. The explanation is solid on its own, and it's pretty damn cool.

Tho later Ohtaka will come and try to convince us that maybe falling isn't so bad after, yeah, sure, all these brainwashed people are a good proof of that...

That's... yeah. I was thinking about it lately, cuz I was thinking about the Kou Empire Arc.

Maybe that entire becoming more powerful god than the other guy then that guy becoming more powerful than you and then you becoming more powerful than him... etc didn't come out of nowhere here, bc Hakuryuu's falling feels kind of like that. Abra is fallen, so she works against fate, so she fucked up the fate for Hakuryuu, who then proceeded to, idk, +2 to that by also falling, and, since he's not returning things to the actual fate's course, he just makes even bigger of a mess... Which is ironic as fuck. He tried to destroy Al-Thamen by literally doing what they wanted to - sowing more chaos and disasters all around, which at worst could have led the world to an end (given Judar could cause Il Illah to descend, apparently). Idk man, put some make up on to the clown music, you fucking moron.

Like, don't get me wrong, I like Hakuryuu for the most part, but Jesus Fuck he's an idiot. This is why he's constantly painted as immature. Because he fucking is immature. He never thinks things through, has no patience to speak of once he snaps, and ends up just making everything worse for everybody and himself, and wakes up with a hand in the pot, because turns out he has no idea how to handle the aftermath of his stupidass choices, because he was too busy fucking up people's minds to consider what happens after the war.

Ok rant over.

Foreshadowing

(soon) RIP Alibaba

Honestly, that's such a cool moment.

It kind of looks cute

Idk man, awesome moment all around. The fact that all of these blobs are helping him up is really cute, too

That crying Aladdin : (

Also, not gonna lie, this feels like the theme of this arc, among other things. And I'll definitely talk about it more. It's about losing the people you love, but at the same time meeting new ones, too. Of course they won't replace them, but the point is simply you're not alone.

;;;

Honestly, it just looks aweosme

[alt-bluesman]

Animal Crossing memories, part 3

I think this is the final part!

My Joy-Cons haven't completed their journey yet, but in the end I decided that I'm not going to put much faith in them & grabbed a set of used Hori controllers in the meantime. Gave Pan a final tour today. Didn't want to invest in a capture card, so a couple of screenshots is the best I can offer!

Sadly there's no way in heck I can stuff all of them into a single post, so I'll just narrow it down to my favourites & the ones I have something to say about!

First, the map. My villagers were Gruff the goat, Kitt the kangaroo, Sprinkle the penguin, Kyle the wolf, Ione the squirrel, Olaf the anteater, Al the gorilla, Jambette the frog, Fang the wolf and Fuchsia the deer. I liked them all, fuglies included. I like a lot of the ugly ones now!

Naturally my biggest dream was to invite Shrek to the island. Shrek never showed up. I had to resort to home-brew methods!

Frample's home. I couldn't fit the big-ass yard in the frame, but there was a little islet with a snapping turtle living on it. A homage to Jacksepticeye's Tortellini, forever jammin'!

The Zen Garden that my villagers never really cared for, haha. I found out they aren't very eager to interact with any objects that aren't close to their houses or the plaza. They sometimes goof around on the southern beaches, but that's pretty much it!

(At least those lads were having a time of their life)

Ione's yard was the bane of my existence - the laggiest part of the island. I was never able to pinpoint the cause, there was no water and not even that much foliage. Some folks say that snow causes the game to get quite choppy, but it lagged during the other seasons too. Maybe it was all the custom paths?

Sprinkle lived close to Ione. Her yard was a bit more spacious, so I could build Snowboys there. Some of them still ended up in the river!

The main road with 5 frickin' waterfalls. Not visible here, but there was another one on the left. A good place to be if you want your eardrums to explode!

This cliff served no particular purpose, but I liked the view! This was my stargazing hideaway.

The campsite was pretty dang huge and placed right next to the island entrance. A decision I came to regret after some time. Now I prefer them tucked away in a secluded spot!

Isle of Spooks! My villagers never visited it except for that single time when Gruff decided to sneak in and investigate. Gruff was an absolute legend.

The beach next to the campsite was one of the few decorated beach areas that I was actually quite happy with!

The entrance. Nothing too fancy, but there were so many failed attempts at making a decent entrance, lmao. Makes ya finally settle with whatever ya have!

Kitt's yard! I remember feeling very proud of it once, but it doesn't really appeal to me anymore, especially that blob of a path.

Farmlands. That rainbow flower garden was a convenient way of keeping most of the flower breeds & colours in one spot, without them overtaking an entire island, but probably not something I'd build today. I hated when balloons flew over it because I couldn't shoot them down from there!

This yard was between the farms. First it was Tasha's, then Claudia's, then Fang's. I never bothered to redecorate, haha.

And here were the crops. Leif has failed me & never brought the carrots!

The woods behind the farms. (Wayyy too much clutter for my current tastes, but at least my main man Gruff was there)

The pirate bay! One of my oldest builds, but still very much up my alley!

(What if I told you that Pompom never really moved away?)

Alrighty, that's most of the western side of Pan covered. Here's a land bridge that connected the main cliffs behind the plaza. Waterscaping around it was absolute hell! Admittedly, I'm still quite proud of it & it's something I'd like to build again, but most likely without the dang river.

The road leading up to the Museum. Museum was an important building for me because of my first job, but I never quite got the surrounding area to look right. I do like the stone lion-dog statues, though!

Jambette's yard was my absolute favourite spot on the entire island. Minimalism was the name of the game. With a frog model from Jim!

Kyle's yard had a bit of a side business in the top left corner!

Eastern river mouth. I was all about putting those little islets on my rivers and lakes. It's fun and games till a special character or a fossil decides to spawn on them..!

Moving back to the eastern cliffs: here are some hungry gnomes and Olaf's yard. I always gifted all of my dresses as well as dumbest pieces of furniture to Olaf. He took it all like a champ!

I gave Mr. Resetti an extra job on Pan. (And a lazy bear compadre)

A seasonal icy drink bar - with Al's ass cheeks in the background for everyone's viewing pleasure. Al was the very first villager I found on a mystery island on a rainy day. Seeing his silhouette in the rain, I legit thought he was some kind of zombie. I didn't invite him back then, but when I bumped into him again on my last villager hunt, I decided to take him. Mad lad has finally made it!

Fuchsia's yard. A bit funky, but I still like it!

And that's it! There's a bunch of other screenshots I wasn't able to fit in, like the absolutely glorious board drawings from my best friends. Don't worry though, they are safe and sound with me! Farewell, Pan. You were my introduction to Animal Crossing and even though I'm ready to move on, I will always remember you very fondly!