#living with him would be an experience honestly

[fangirl-erdariel]

To be fair to him, I'm pretty sure what Tolkien was saying was not "the events of my life did not influence my writing ever in any way whatsoever" but rather "my stories are not a direct allegory of events in the real world that one cannot understand or meaningfully engage with without awareness of those events, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take five minutes to appreciate the story for its own sake rather than trying to find specific real-world equivalents for every single fucking thing in these books", which are two very different things.

Like, I mean, in the foreword of LOTR, he very much says: "An author cannot of course remain wholly unaffected by his experience", and then goes on at some length about experiences that, I would say from that context, he is implicitly admitting influenced his story. Including the wars! He is not denying that those affected the story he told. What he's saying is that they were an influence of his writing in a more complicated and roundabout way, rather than LOTR being directly and specifically an allegory to/fantasy-flavored retelling of either WWII or WWI, and pointing out that there were like, you know, also other events in his life besides the war that influenced his story.

Like, if Jirt had actually been saying that the wars he lived through had no influence whatsoever on his stories, yes, I would certainly be calling bullshit too. But as far as I can tell, that just is not what he said. And on what he did actually say, personally I do have to agree with him - books can be influenced by things without being about those things, and while it is interesting to look at Tolkien's work within the context of his life and his experience, they are no less meaningful and interesting as stories in their own right outside of that very specific historical context.

(Honestly I'd be pretty annoyed too if I spent 10+ years writing a huge mythical fantasy story, set in an elaborate world I'd spent decades on spinning into being and weaving a whole net of interesting interconnecting fates for its characters, and it got published and got popular but then everyone would be insisting that it's solely and specifically an allegory to, idk, the covid-19 pandemic or me getting bullied as a kid or the rise of far-right groups and growing geopolitical instability in Europe or whatever the fuck. Like, bitch, no, those sure may have influenced my mindset and worldview and what I think makes for a believable and interesting world for the story be happening in, but that doesn't mean I was telling a story specifically about any of those events in themselves)

J. R. R. Tolkien: no, my books aren't about the war I experienced. It's just a story

J. R. R. Tolkien's works: you cannot go home, war ends entire bloodlines, you are mourning the death of your brother alone, you dug into the earth and permanently scored the land, you cannot explain what you have been through, you cannot go home, "that wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life", leaving the women behind does not save them, the young die first, you cannot go home, the parent will bury their child, you have lost the wives and you will never connect with them again, "how shall any tower withstand such numbers and such reckless hate?", you are not the same, you cannot go home, you can never go home, your father will only side with those he sees as worthy bloodlines and you cannot change his mind, it is more meaningful Not to kill, sometimes your sacrifice accomplishes nothing, you cannot go home

[certifiedsexed]

Hey I just wanted to ask if it's weird to kiss your family? I live in south africa and as far as I knew i thought everyone here occasionally kissed their family on the lips, excluding siblings or cousins (except maybe if you're young), it could maybe be a white people thing because ive never seen poc do it. but a while ago when i still had a boyfriend my grandfather visited me, and I kissed both him and my grandma on the lips. I told him about it (i cant remember why, i mightve complained about the old people smell) and he was super grossed out, telling me that it was really weird and that he didn't want to kiss me anymore because he was so disgusted by the thought. Is it really that weird? Maybe my family is just affectionate? His home life was horrible and I knew that he wasn't close with his family, but his reaction still worries me. I've never felt like it was crossing boundaries. But the thought of it potentially being sexual assault really stresses me out because I've definitely kissed my brother (he's five years younger than me and as far as I can remember I haven't kissed him anywhere other than his head since I was 12 because I got really bad POCD the second i turned 13 and basically didnt touch him again until i was 15 because i was so scared of accidentalky sexually assaulting him) and i never ever ever want to hurt him. I was molested by my great grandfather when i was really young and never ever want to hurt someone in an even remotely similar way.

Hi! Well, what people call "weird" kinda depends on what people you're around but what you're talking about is fairly common in plenty of circles.

It's definitely not a white people specific thing, that's probably just the area you're in. There are plenty of areas around the world that are primarily POC where people kiss their relatives!

Some people are grossed out by things like that but honestly, what's disrespectful here is your boyfriend telling you he thought you were disgusting and all of that. Not you consensually kissing family members as a type of casual affection.

As long as none of you are kissing each other without consent, it's fine, it's genuinely a harmless way to show affection as long as you're all enjoying it.

It makes sense your boyfriend would be more uncomfortable with it if he has a bad home life. It definitely still wasn't a respectful reaction but it does make sense. Perhaps talking to him and explaining that its a common affectionate thing in your area would help, as well as being clear if its important to you.

It makes sense you don't want to hurt anyone like that, especially if you have past experiences with it. If you're really worried about hurting anyone, it's okay to ask!

Next time you're in a spot where you might kiss one of your relatives, ask if it's okay! Ask your brother if he doesn't mind or if he wants you to stop.

I can guarantee you haven't sexually assaulted him by kissing him on the head but its still okay to be clear with everyone and make sure they're all okay with it.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. <3

[verystrxxwberry]

What do you think each of the boys would like to receive as Christmas gifts?? Love your writing so much!

WHAT WOULD THE MCL, ML AND ELDARYA ROUTES WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: My candy love (all routes), eldarya (all routes), ml (all routes), small and individual headcanons. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: First post of 2025! Happy New Year everyone. I didn’t really know which fandom you meant with this request, but I will include all of them!

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

MY CANDY LOVE

Castiel: He insists in not needing anything (because whatever he needs he immediately buys it), but he might be very excited to get anything related with his guitar. The thing he’d be the most grateful about would be earplugs to protect his ears from the loud volumes of his concerts. He’ll be happy with cheaper things such as cozy blankets, new pajamas or even new slippers or shoes. 

Nathaniel: Whatever cat-related makes him as happy as a kid, even a gift for Snowy makes him feel excited. He doesn’t want you to spend much money on him and tiny things are enough. Even handmade things make his heart melt!

Lysander: He might like any gift that makes reference to some inner joke in between you. Handmade gifts are his favorite honestly, he loves ceramic mugs made by you!

Armin: Steam gift cards… any character figurine for his collection, any sweater related to a fandom he is in. He’s a freak, he is easier to gift.

Kentin: On the opposite to Nathaniel, something dog-related. A scarf or a coat might be good for his van trips to some colder places. Something more expensive he could get to enjoy is a smartbox to live a new experience with you, but he doesn’t want you to spend much money. Handmade chocolate cookies are also a great gift for him!!

Rayan: He adores being gifted books and even more if it’s a classic. He will never say no to reading Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allan Poe, Jane Austen, Stephen King or George Orwell. He is opened to other authors and other genres. He might also appreciate new formal clothes for his job or a handmade painting.

Hyun: Cute plushies are his thing, also cool jackets or coats. Warm and cozy socks to be home. Any vanilla scented candle for his bedroom might also work as a great gift. Skincare products are also a great option. He loves to get gifted stuff in boxes, everything together, so it is more exciting to see the amount of gifts he is going to open.

Priya: Candles! She doesn’t have a preference for any scent, as long as it can give a certain smell to her bedroom. She’d also be grateful to receive a new, medium lengthen notebook where she can write her thoughts. 

Devon: Massage card, man is stressed. He is such a romantic man and definitely would love to receive a handmade letter from you. Devon likes any tiny detail that comes from you, he doesn’t mind whether you invested money or not, which of course he prefers that you do not invest much.

Jason: There isn’t much this man needs other than genuine affection. Whatever he needs he also buys it almost immediately as he has got the sources to get them.  Yet new ties for his uniform are a thing he forgets most of the time. He prefers to get gifted unique things that no one else can have such as handmade stuff or experiences. But really, even something that doesn’t cost much money is good for him since it comes from you. Even if he finds something useless at first, he will find the way to make it useful.

Roy: He’s very easy to gift to because he likes absolutely everything. Something that involves an adventure, food, clothes, skincare, a fitness mat, products to take care of his hair… whatever is enough to make him excited.

Thomas: He makes you a list of gifts in case you need it. He might appreciate a new jacket to wear in his motorcycle, a gift card for one of the local yarn shops, motorcycle gloves, a steam gift card, a warm blanket for naps.

Amanda: A basket of candles, bath bombs and chocolates is perfect for her. She will be grateful with a basket of random teas as well.

ELDARYA

Ezarel: Sweets. Literally anything that is sweet af such as bonbons, cookies, honey, candies. He’d really like to receive ear warmers and a scarf.

Nevra: Your kisses and hugs are the best gifts for him! But if you wish to gift something material, probably a matching necklace (something elegant and not too colorful), the experience of having a romantic dinner with you is also a great gift for him.

Valkyon: A fancy cup for beer nights. A handmade letter, or simply your presence. He doesn’t want you to spend anything for him, and if you do, he hopes it is something for Floppy (a gift for her equals to a gift for him)

Leiftan: He’s gonna cry at any of your gifts, no matter if you bought it or you did it by yourself. He is going to drown in tears. Books, drawings, poems, crotchet figurines… he loves them.

Lance: Gloves for his freezing hands (so you don't freeze when he touches you), a good perfume, pajamas and a kiss :).

Mathieu: He is good with silly little stuff such as plushies, bracelets, necklaces or the dumbest shirts ever (he’s gonna go out with them without any shame). Cute cups, cute plates, anything to decorate his prosthetic leg.

MOONLIGHT LOVERS

Aaron: No matter if he loves his brown shirt too much, he lowkey needs a new one… so a brown sweater, shirt or jacket, it might be pretty useful. 

Beliath: Skincare products, a headband, haircare products because bro wants it to glow and be fancy. A bottle of red wine. Affection. Any sex-related stuff, even if it is in a joke, it might be a good gift as well.

Raphael: Books in braille! He knows how hard it is to find them, so it’s a great surprise for him to receive more. And even more if they are from your era, and he can get to know what kind of literature is made nowadays.

Vladimir: A bucket of candles and tea. Books, a bucket of flowers, a new cane that can be elegant or neutral. A letter made by hand, or even a poem. 

Ethan: Probably noise-cancelling earbuds for those times when there’s a storm. He’d be pretty glad to receive citrus soaps, a cool leather jacket. Or gift cards for clothing shops. 

Ivan: A gift card for Netflix, silly socks!! Or a silly blanket. Gift him food and he will be happy. Or bring him a nice cuddle session! That’s more than good for him.

Neil: He doesn’t follow the tradition of Christmas and won’t understand why is he receiving a gift. Still, he can never say no to some genuine and spontaneous thing coming from you, like you giving him some jewelry, some sweets or even gifting him a book you’d think he’d like. He appreciates handmade stuff but no need to be Christmas to give those gifts.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it! Happy new year to everyone!

[airas-story]

https://www.tumblr.com/airas-story/762553089173618688/tony-with-painkillers-in-his-veins-and-a-mushy?source=share

Can't help but think of roles being reversed. Stephen after his crushed hands, living through dormammu and thanos, feeling so guilty about how it all turned out. He would have a pretty similar reaction don't you think?

I was going to say ''a follow up pleaseee this is so sad it needs another part'' but then stephen's side came to my brain 👉👈

I struggled with this one. I didn't want to write a copy/paste of Tony's experience and I honestly felt like they'd have very different reactions. So, not quite sure this hit what you were looking for, but it was where the prompt took me.

Stephen smiled at Tony—Tony had laughed when he’d ‘introduced’ himself, but everything was fuzzy right now—where Tony held Stephen’s hand gently. Stephen squeezed, delighted when it earned him a smile. A brilliant idea hit him. “Should get married,” he said. 

Tony furrowed his brow, blinking a few times. “What?”

“You. Me.” Stephen fought back a yawn, whatever drugs they had him on were strong. “Should get married.”

Tony laughed. Butterflies erupted in Stephen’s stomach. Oh. He loved that laugh. Once they married, he’d make Tony laugh all the time. “Hate to break it to you,” Tony said. “But I’m already married.”

Stephen scowled. “To who?” he demanded. He looked at their hands; his heart tripped. Tony held his hand, so gently, like it was precious and not a symbol of all the ways Stephen had broken… “Whoever they are, they’re not good enough.” Stephen wasn’t good enough, either, but he wanted anyways. He could see Tony’s love for him.

Stephen knew how impossible Stephen was to love. He had to hold on tight now that he knew someone did.

“Oh sweetheart,” Tony said quietly. “I promise, they’re more than good enough. Best thing that ever happened to me.”

[brynnstic]

Brynnstic's super really good Caine theory

I truly don't believe Caine has any bad intentions for the cast. I don't think he ever wants to hurt them, whether he likes them or not. However, I do think he doesn't understand the concept and severity of death/abstraction.

The way he just tossed Kaufmo into the cellar after finding out he was abstracted, I don't think Caine really seems to understand that these characters are, at the end of the day, living beings. He just sees them as NPCs that he can't control.

He doesn't even seem to understand why they want to leave, honestly. In the pilot he literally states that he was designing an exit because the cast wanted one so bad. He doesn't know how to get them out, but he's trying to make them comfortable in the space they've been given. He's an AI, at the end of the day, he doesn't experience a range of emotion in the same way a human would. He simply doesn't get it.

In episode 3, he says his only purpose/thing he's good at is making adventures. He only exists to be a randomly-generated entertainer. He doesn't take things seriously because that's not what an entertainer is meant to do, they're just meant to laugh and play along.

But, I suppose we'll see as the show continues. Until I'm proven otherwise, Caine is a good guy but is unable to understand the severity of the situation the cast are in because to him: that's just his entire life.

[solidaritygaming-fanblog]

Hello again I am plagued with thoughts of the siblings at work so I must share.

Philza is used to loss. He’s lost friends, enemies, lovers, and children. The only things that are constant in his life are Death and his little brother, Jimmy. Gods he never wants his little brother to experience loss like he has.

So yeah, he is definitely opposed to the thought of the life series. As a man who knows what it is like to play with limited lives and has permanently killed before, he hates to the entire concept. However he can’t stop Jimmy from entering, so Phil sits on the sidelines and watches.

Of course, Jimmy gets the canary curse and it removes any chance of loss. You cannot mourn anyone if you die first. It’s like this for years. Jimmy ranting to Phil after each game about the dumb curse while Phil is secretly relieved that his brother has been spared once again from the pain of loosing someone, even temporarily.

Then Jimmy breaks the curse in Secret life. He still dies second but now it’s broken and he is free. Jimmy is ready to win the next season.

It starts slow. Mumbo and Skizz’s deaths are celebrated for the most part (after all Jimmy isn’t last anymore) but there’s still that knot in Jimmy’s stomach, he keeps mentioning Skizz and Mumbo and the others have to remind him they are gone. Nothing major really, they were enemies to Jimmy anyway.

Then Martyn dies. Martyn has always been a good friend to Jimmy and it hurts to see him dead. (Ren’s loud wails don’t help at all)

When Jimmy’s Bamboozler, Scar, dies it tears him apart. Jimmy is wiping tears away the entire walk back to BAM mountain. He hates this feeling. This is worse than dying. When Grian blows Jimmy and Lizzie up, Jimmy isn’t mad, he’s tired. Everything is just so much for him and honestly? Winning doesn’t sound appealing anymore because it meant he would have to kill his friends (even if it was temporary)

So Jimmy stumbles to Phil’s hardcore world after Wild Life officially ends. Phil is busy building but immediately drops everything to help Jimmy, who needs to just talk to someone about how he feels. Phil simply listens as Jimmy rants about the deaths and the feeling in his chest, then the realization that this is how the others probably felt about his own death.

(Holy shit this is really long sorry lol)

BSHABASBBAHAHABAAHAH

You cooked. He would be in so much shock... he's never really experienced death before this and like this- there was real life but that was really fun and not serious! But he's been in this world for so long now. And these people who he's none for even longer are now just... gone? His day one teammate is gone?

God yeah that would fuck him up. Amazing showstopper I'm gonna go curl up now

[driaswrld]

Higuruma is the type of guy to be dead set on one thing, something really gap moe about his character would be the fact that if his dingy old apartment has you in it, he would never leave it for the world. That shoddy apartment is where you've left little markings of your presence and it's where he first got to know you and promised you his life. He's antiromantic but he's also romantic in a way which is subtle and gentle he'd come home tired getting the same old ice cream you're fond of and he'd apologise to you who was sitting on the sofa waiting for him with a small peck and a little smile and a small ruffle to your hair before he would coax you back into bed with a gentle smile even when he's dead tired. Don't get him wrong, he also acts strict with you when you're being a little messy or chaotic around him but his heart still melts when he looks at you. (I might be delusional)(he's so older man coded I love older men)(that man would hug you so comfortingly and let you curl up into and against him at a specially vulnerable time)(AUGH I'm fucking choking up)(I'll see myself out)

YOURE GODSENT BCUS WAIT

gap moe is higuruma at face value you are so right i love how you're always in my brain we were probs separated at birth.

veryyy antiromantic romantic but i don't think he perceives himself as being romantic? maybe? he just does these things because wow, he loves you and loving you comes as easy as breathing to him (he doesn't understand why fleeting gazes and lingering touches are inherently romantic he just knows that it feels right when it's you) GOODBYE IM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC—

he's very analytical and particular in the way he lives his life i'm sure because he's the type to not want commitment but crave connection, and then he finds himself being a sucker for the idea of forever. all of the parts of you become parts of him and it's really funny when you come to realize he's heading to a trial smelling like your perfume and snacking on bunny shaped chocolates on his break because you eat it all the time and suddenly his bland ass organized kitchen is divided into a mess of your color coded cookware and he can't find his favorite spoon but oh wait that one you use all the time is there he can use that

i have so many thoughts about higuruma and his shoddy apartment and i WILL share them bcus u guys deserve to hear them

[namebrandpessimist]

THSI IS WHAT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT

This stupid ass group of weird psychos seemed to be such a central part of the history of the universe, but eventually they were just gone. 10 millenia is a long time to keep history records, and so I wonder in 10 more if anyone will even know they existed.

I especially love the ideas of the moments right before their deaths. Like they're these beings that have existed far longer than anything ever should, by the end we know so many of them were miserable.

Especially thinking of Jonny, who with nothing left, just lived out his days seeking any last inkling of pleasure. And to think of him feeling himself finally dying, and laughing for the first time in a millenia. This man was so miserable he had not laughed in 1000 years. I genuinely cannot imagine the relief he felt to know it was going to end.

But I don't think all of them were like that. Brian and Tim anticipated their deaths, and so I imagine they felt a lot of conflicting feelings. Brian was very mournful I imagine, while Tim went out in a joyous (or probably manic) blaze of glory.

Idk if Ivy was expecting to die, but certainly seemed to have some kind of desperation in the end.

I doubt marius even had time to be like "Oh shit" which honestly kinda sucks for him

Ashes was quite smug about the whole thing, it would seem, but i still think they had a moment of mourning when they realized they were at the literal end of the universe.

Raphaella honestly seems kinda chill about it, but I think she reached much the same conclusion as Jonny, wherein she had nothing left to experience, so she decided to feel something no one ever had.

And the toy soldier... fucking christ.. I mean it's can't even put it into words

So, I've been thinking about how much I love Death To The Mechanisms (Both the album and song, but particularly the song) I love how the instrumental under each death sounds different. Gunpowder Tims sounds more dramatic (I'm not sure if that would be the right word) and takes on the style kind of like the Bifrost Incident and how Marius' sounds like High Noon Over Camelot. Brian's has Lost in the Cosmos underneath it, which is just so perfect and so sad because it's both his past and his death. I love how there are two kind of categories for how they die, either a purposeful death that they did themselves or some small accident. Like Gunpowder Tim knew he was dying so he went on a rampage to possibly go out in a big explosion of infamy, but what took him out was not wearing a seat belt, because why would he wear a seat belt? He's survived ship crashes and much worse before, why would that be the thing that finally did him in? And Johnny dies in some probably completely avoidable bar fight. Imagine finding out the "immortal" that became such a big part of all your history was found dead from a simple stab in the heart.

That is if they even found most of their bodies. Brian's might have been found by a wandering ship, kept around as a interesting trinket they found, maybe never finding his heart and knowing he once lived. Nobody probably bothered to check the ship wreckage for Tim's corpse, they would probably just glad the mad man blowing everything up was dead. There is no way in hell anyone found Raphaella body. Ivy's body was probably discovered by explorers who wanted to check out the long burned library (and possibly find more interesting books than what she had saved) and found a long chared skeleton that became a museum peice for a short while due to its odd brain and several long gone items that appeared to be talisman or memorabilia of some kind, some say that one looked like a small violin or wings or metal playing cards, but nobody will ever know for sure. Johnny's body was probably quickly stripped of valuables and left to rot, or maybe they burned him to make sure that he wasn't as immortal as he claimed during the fight. Nothing was left to find of Marius. No one was left to find Ashes. Finding a wooden puppet on a empty planet was interesting to be sure, but nothing ground breaking, it didn't move and was hollow except for some rotting tissue in its throat, it's face looked oddly sad but it was probably just a discarded art project and was left to collect dust until the star nearest to its resting place took everything out. Some conspiracy theories might pop up about the crew, but eventually, enough time will pass that it doesn't really matter if immortals ever existed and any traces of them will be lost to time as well. Any history books mentioning things like The Moon Kaiser, New Texas, King Cole, or a crew of immortal psychos causing trouble or singing about war will rot or burn or just become uninteresting to everyone else.

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

It would’ve been really awkward if Jon had just kept running into former Statement givers in public. Like, imagine you’ve spent months dealing with some fucked up eye creature haunting your nightmares to feast upon your fear, but then you spot him at Tesco as he’s pulling out a calculator to figure out which loaf of bread (on sale!) offers the most bread per pound (🍞/£). How would you cope with that?

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[intertexts]

oh god. just thought abt nhw dakota's pain perception (already something i have 1 billion thoughts abt esp. in conjunction with them) & william's messy thing with conflating intimacy & danger & his relationship 2 pain. 1 million dead 1 billion injured.

[bcntbouquet]

Dee told her to get in the glove box, not remembering the old six shooter that rested underneath the stack. She wouldn’t know it was rusted useless, so that wouldn’t change anything if she saw a firearm as a red flag. He was, after all, a homeless man with a recklessness about him, living out of a truck—now with pretty girl. He could understand if a misunderstanding was due.

He tried to shrug it off, counting on the fact they’d built enough rapport not to worry about every little thought she had.

“… It’s in all the movies, so I kinna feel like I have (been there), but. No. It’s definitely on the list, though.” Jennings wasn’t so dreary that he had a bucket-list but a list (not kept on paper) of places he wanted to see, stuff he wanted to experience while there.

Honestly, Cecelia mentioning Chicago was kind of like a dream come true; especially since she’d be there, with him. It just was more fun if he could share said would-be experiences with someone close. Close-ish, as it may be. Could be? In reality, they were strangers who had met, slept together (in the most literal, non-sexually-suggestive sense of the phrase), left the compound together, and were now traveling together.

“That sounds… like a dream…” he nodded, focus on the road (as much as he wanted to study her), a sweet, languid heaviness around his eyelids and mouth alike. He maneuvered the truck about, putting them in a more Chicago-prone direction of road.

“I’ll show ya’ how to read maps, too, when we’re not movin’… We can get coffee, and… well, read maps… It’s kind of a lost ‘art’, from what I understand… I guess I’m probably not the hippest cat you’ll ever meet… whatever…” he muttered quietly, like he was fifteen again.

It felt weird being in a car when it started to move and drive away from the trees. Her eyes turn to look out the window to watch the tree line disappear. The foliage would be beautiful when the spring comes. Maybe trees will remind her of her new life. Her new life with Derward, and her new life of freedom. Her still being in Texas was good. Fine with her. Cecelia liked it good enough. But to her she wanted to go North.

When he motioned to the glove box, she opened it slowly and grabbed one of the maps and opened it. Her eyes widen and scan over it, completely baffled and confused. "I don't know how to read a map." she looked over the top of it before turning her head towards Derward.

"Have you ever been to Chicago?" she asked. "It's winter time and it might be kind of snowy. But Chicago is supposed to be beautiful during Christmas ... maybe we could go there?" she might be biting off more than she could chew though. If she gets cold in Texas, imagine how cold she'll get in Illinois. "I want to go somewhere for Christmas. With lights and stuff. A big Christmas tree."

[thelaurenshippen]

in honor of the wicked trailer, I'm dropping this here in case anyone's never seen it before. cynthia erivo, queen

[clegfly]

Small thing I’m cooking for idksomethingclever99’s fic MITPP!! For some reason I’m having trouble tagging them but here’s the fic!!

This seemed fun to do… probably won’t get more done than this page though…

[summer-sapphic]

Hi I'm mad

[coffin-ramblings]

Honestly, I personally have issues for headcanoning the siblings as trans for these exact reasons.

Ashley's character and actions are heavily influenced by her being deemed "problem kid" according to the standards of being a cis female, and having serious internalized misogyny to the point she devalues her own worth as just a sex object. To have her be a trans man not only prevents an arc of self-acceptance, finding herself more, and perhaps unlearning some of that misogyny, but also has unfortunate implications with her sexism as someone else said in this post. Having her as a trans woman would mean that as a child, she wasn't seen as problematic when that was a major part of her upbringing. And honestly, a lot of people would still insist she's a "gay boy", which is a completely different experience.

Andrew also can't be a trans man without breaking the plot, because otherwise, he'd be immediately outcasted as "not normal". Andrew being a trans woman also carries similar problems as headcanoning Ashley as a trans man, but in his case, it is much less straightforward.

It is debatable until Decay's release on how far Andrew's toxic masculinity issues goes (or if it even exists as toxic masculinity and not as solely a product of his parentification and Nina's death) and how much misogyny he has that goes beyond living the 90s and early 2000s.

However, it's clear that his major issues are adjacent with toxic masculinity's, and likely worsened by societal expectations for men. One of Andrew's core flaws is that bottles up a lot of emotions growing up because of his age-inappropriate responsibilities and his forbidden feelings for Ashley. The expectation men don't talk about their emotions certainly exacerbated them. He has to learn to be more honest about his love and affection for Ashley to assure her trust in him. Otherwise, Decay happens where Ashley feels she can't trust him because he doesn't give her anything in return.

While Andrew got violent with Ashley in the end of episode 1, this is heavily implied to be a sudden change in behavior for Ashley, as she has no problems hitting him before according to Olive Branches, and she was grabbing him by the hair and yanking him down before he choked her. She was also taken aback by him threatening her after the first warden died, then declared she's not scared of him at all. He is convinced he needs to start overtly using violence to control Ashley's behavior, which is a toxic masculinity issue. However, this was in response to Ashley threatening to betray him to the cops despite their blood oath and his genuine desire to never be separated from her. This can also be connected to him not knowing how to manage his anger since he has to bottle that up, which he definitely needs to learn how to do.

And finally, a recurring motivation for Andrew to listen to Ashley and make the final decisions is he feels that he must be the one Ashley relies on as the parentified older brother, which part of the expectation men must be the rock of the family. However, because he perceives Ashley as too unreliable in their current situation and disliking her distrust of him, he can end up being tempted to regret he did not have a normal life when Renee offers him the olive branch and continue to blame Ashley. He has to learn to trust Ashley to have an equal say in making the decisions and that she will cooperate with him, to not be the one taking all the burdens of them surviving.

So much like Ashley where her being a trans man means that she can't have her arc of self-acceptance and unlearning internalized misogyny, Andrew becoming a trans woman goes in the way of learning how to be a man without those toxic issues and high expectations of himself. Ultimately, both Andrew and Ashley need to learn to be kinder to themselves and the other by unlearning society's and their family's expectations of what it means to be a man and a woman. From there, they carve their own meaning.

I swear y'all will look at the most stereotypically cishet adult man that's actually been fleshed out in an indie game ever and say "omg there's no way she's not an egg"