#living expat

[caffeccino]

She spent her spring break studying the blade, while all the other white girls frolicked

She's a weeb samurai <3 Total cultural appropriation 😔

[oldedo]

Downside Up

[prussianmemes]

the glassy eyed 1000 yard western euro stare you get when you tell the people sitting in you and your visibly ill girlfriend's seats that they're in your reserved seats and they go "ach... ja but your reservation is not written here there is no r-"

excuse me you germano-frankish beady eyed cocksucker, we're on a čd train and my čd ticket shows us as having these seats, and your rootless ugly white and black deutschebahn fart app doesn't even have seat reservations because despite your national stereotype you have the same organization and respect for order a gypsy does.

don't give me your "mon dieu et iz not written here" - the train is chronically overcrowded because your third world national rail company can't book properly, you've been sitting for 3 hours from shitggart and have only been looking at your insta stories while pretending to study pierre von shittenlips. i have a visibly ill and weak passenger with me but beyond the former iron curtain, despite your supposed cosmopolitan love for all, you're like the rats in the paradise experiment who actually just viciously serve themselves first above all.

and the nerve to snicker and chat amongst yourselves once we get off... after very clearly sitting in our seats...: TOTAL WEST EURO CONTINENTAL DEATH.....

i believe now in celto-slavic racial superiority

[essektheylyss]

Laughing that the Lodge of the Eclipse is referred to as the more hoity-toity of the taverns in the area around the Pentamarket. Of course that's the one Essek opted for. Fancy bastard.

[abroadlifeactually]

The Soft Life or Slightly Cushioned?

I find myself contemplating what the “soft life” really means? During a conversation with one of my good friends from back home she said “girl, just embrace the soft life”. I was stunned for a minute, because nothing about my life at the moment felt soft. Is this the soft life!?!?Because it didn’t feel very soft. It hadn’t even occurred to me that it could be labeled that way.  I was a full-time housewife who’s free time was spent cleaning. I started looking into what exactly constituted a “soft life”. Quickly I realized, that label was being used very generally for vastly different ways of life. For example, there are stay at home moms (SAHM), and there are stay at home moms with nannies and/or housekeepers, and those two moms are living very different lives. At the time I was living the former.

When we first moved into our apartment, I was the main caregiver of Sunbeam, with help from my husband who is a very active dad. I was also solely responsible for all of the house upkeep, luckily my husband likes to cook and grocery shop so I had help with that part. This was the most grueling work I’ve ever done, and I worked in PR in NYC, and at a non-profit with what felt like 60% turnover. There were no breaks, no downtime, and you are plugged in 24 hours a day. The only time to myself was in the bathroom, which had to be quick because the Sunbeam is very active, and eventually that became similar to an open floor plan. I was exhausted and would crash immediately after Sunbeam went down. Nothing about that felt soft to me. There are people out in the world who would love this life, but being a housewife was never my dream. As a former professional woman, I found it much more challenging than any office job I’ve ever had.

After a few months of living in a haze, we finally sought help. A friend advised us to tear numbers off flyers on the grocery store bulletin board to find a nanny/help, which sounded crazy to me. Turns out it’s a legitimate way to find help here, so we did. We also joined facebook groups and put up help wanted posts. Eventually we found our nanny/housekeeper who changed my life. She works part-time so I’m still with Sunbeam most of the time, but now I have someone to help with the upkeep of the house, and allows me to go to appts, run errands, etc without having to pack a bag and drag my stroller onto trains and busses.

I will admit this is definitely a “softer” life, and affords me the flexibility in my life to do more self-care and things such as blogging, and working out, which is nice and necessary. However, my life does not look like what Tik Tok demonstrates as the soft life. There are no trips to chanel, or champagne brunches. My cupboard is not neatly laid out with monochromatic jars, and no matter how much we clean the apartment is always covered in toys, crushed cheerios, and whatever Sunbeam gets into. I’m still not convinced that I am living the soft life, certainly not as shown on social media. So maybe I’m living a slightly cushioned life??

I am grateful for the life that I have now, and I realize that flexibility is very privileged and that I live a life that some may desire. I love being home with Sunbeam and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but there are always challenges. Being a SAHM doesn’t feel like less work or soft work, but different work. And it’s very easy to lose your identity and feel bored and lonely, especially when living abroad. Daily meal planning (three healthy meals and two snacks) and creating an educational environment for a toddler all day with no attention span is not easy. The closet that I passionately curated over the course of several years now sits still, and is quickly being replaced by shirts with built-in bras, birkenstocks, and jogging pants. You dress for comfort and stains, which leads to fewer excuses to indulge in shopping like I would have previously. I can only speak for my experience, which might be different since I live abroad and my nanny only works part-time. But when I check-in with the fellow expat housewives in my little cohort, they all express similar sentiments so it’s not just me.

I understand the desire and the benefits to living this way, so my words aren’t meant to dissuade, but to just give perspective. From what I can see, unless you have unlimited amounts of money and a partner who doesn’t mind how you spend it, then if I am living what is considered a soft life, then it doesn’t look the way it’s shown on social media. At least if you have kids.

[cosmogyros]

It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.

I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.

And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.

Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"

[agrownupgeekgirl]

I got my indefinite leave to remain approved!! I took the test back in October so have been waiting to find out.

Got the approval and my new ID within the last few days!

[japanwords]

How to REALLY make friends in Japan

On breaking out of the "gaijin bubble"

Recently I published my second article on Medium, in the publication Japonica (if you're interested in Japanese culture, check them out, there's some excellent stuff there).

My article is about a subject very dear to my heart. Namely, making friends in a new city.

More specifically, making friends in Japan. It takes a while, but it can be done! In the article I explain how.

[clairikine]

Heads-up US citizens abroad, your deadlines to register to vote are coming up! Make sure to check dates for your state right here and get registered ASAP

[improbabledreamgirl]

hypothetical; an American with an English degree wants to work in publishing but wants to move to Sweden. could she work for HarperCollins Nordic (an imprint of an American company) in Stockholm without knowing Swedish?

[privateerstudies]

.

[greppelheks]

Lots of ads being written/spoken in English instead of our native language, menus being in English instead of our native language, not being able to speak our own language in a lot of stores and restaurants, or in my own apartment building. That shit doesn't sit right with me.

[vampyroteuthid]

the biggest lesson i have learned from moving back and forth a bunch of times is that if you are on the east coast you have to buy cabot yogurt and if you're on the west coast get zoi yogurt. everyone in the middle get fucked ig

[oldedo]

Summer's End

[tennessoui]

Considering I type it in so much, I’ve been wondering: what inspired your username?

i'm from tennessee and decided to overshare about my personal life to strangers on the internet from the very beginning

[cosmogyros]

Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.