#they would have given up the seats
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the glassy eyed 1000 yard western euro stare you get when you tell the people sitting in you and your visibly ill girlfriend's seats that they're in your reserved seats and they go "ach... ja but your reservation is not written here there is no r-"
excuse me you germano-frankish beady eyed cocksucker, we're on a čd train and my čd ticket shows us as having these seats, and your rootless ugly white and black deutschebahn fart app doesn't even have seat reservations because despite your national stereotype you have the same organization and respect for order a gypsy does.
don't give me your "mon dieu et iz not written here" - the train is chronically overcrowded because your third world national rail company can't book properly, you've been sitting for 3 hours from shitggart and have only been looking at your insta stories while pretending to study pierre von shittenlips. i have a visibly ill and weak passenger with me but beyond the former iron curtain, despite your supposed cosmopolitan love for all, you're like the rats in the paradise experiment who actually just viciously serve themselves first above all.
and the nerve to snicker and chat amongst yourselves once we get off... after very clearly sitting in our seats...: TOTAL WEST EURO CONTINENTAL DEATH.....
i believe now in celto-slavic racial superiority
#i fully understand edvard beneš now#i know why we killed 3000 of them with trucks in postoloprty#and it's a mindset not an ethnicity#the complete arrogant rootless cosmopolitan faggotry and proclaimed internationalism but being so rude and immediately self serving#i fully believe in a race war against everyone beyond the former iron curtain#ossies are fine because they have the eastern mentality and were protected#but seriously behead all le international cosmopolitan franco-germanic-spaniard expats going on tourism or living as le expats#complete shitbags#btw people always complain about anglos#but the anglosphere is so concerned with behaving polite i've never ever ever had a problem with them#they would have given up the seats#txt
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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My relationship with my mom has come such a long way in the past few years only to come crashing down the second I try to do something nice for my dad and/or acknowledge that she is not the main character of the universe ://
#i tried to ask her if she wanted to get sushi with us for fathers day (48 hours away) and she said 'yeah unless something happens'#and i was like 'okay well the website says they wont seat us unless we're a full party' and she was like 'maybe ill make it maybe i wont'#then hung up on me#THEN texted me like 'just put me down for a no.. i cant decide this on less than a moments notice and you clearly dont want me there anyway#and 'thats the answer you wanted right? 😘'#fucking GOD FORBID i try to do something nice for my dad on FATHERS DAY after not being able to see him for several months#bc hes been flying to and from IL every couple of weeks to care for his dying father#and the saddest part is that for mothers day or her birthday or anything like that my dad is always the person bringing it up first#to my sister and me to make sure we can all plan something that will make her feel special and appreciated#and meanwhile my mom acts like a fucking toddler the second the attention is not on her for 2 seconds#'im tired and so busy and you gave me no time to decide' i literally would have given you a few hours to think about it if youd communicate#instead you passive aggressively imply i hate you because im doing something nice for someone else#ALSO you are not the only person on the goddamned planet that is busy and overwhelmed right now like are you KIDDING#i want to cry#personal
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not enough leather shop in arizona charmac fics out there i think
#brandy.txt#we have to work with the material we've been given here#the running away together..#the sheer amount of Problems theyd encounter trying to start this business#god they would piss each other off so much#it'd be the tasteful crucifix argument all over again#charlie would be adamant about the leather shop also being some shit like a dive bar for cowboys#which would make mac way angrier than the rational amount of anger at this suggestion#theyd get into so many fights about it it would be a very serious topic in the charmac universe#and then obviously they'd have sex about it later#the leather kink potential is unmatched btw#writing this on my phone in a panera booth and glancing up every five sevonds to make sure theres not someone looking over the#back of my seat LOL#anyways more leather shop charmac#putting it on my agenda at least#charmac#charlie kelly#mac mcdonald#iasip
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my post every single day since the election was announced
#they seem to be the only ones campaigning around here#you’d think the tories would want to defend the seat but they seem to have given up#not that i’m complaining but still
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Imagine
You're walking home, or to work or school, or wherever- and you get caught in the rain. It starts to downpour. Like, big fat droplets of Gaia tears; Thick 'my son-husband has secretly hidden children within me causing a terrible migraine so welp; here baby Cronus, take this flint sickle and castrate brother-daddy' kinda rain. I'll stop with the Greek Mythology now, I'm sure you get it. Heavy rain.
You're getting soaked despite whatever you're using to protect your skin from it all (A binder, a bag, your jacket, a hat,.. an umbrella perhaps), your nose is cold, and you can barely see 10 feet in front of you apart from any street lights around, when-
A car pulls up directly next to you. You have the horrible panicked moment of 'am i going to be kidnapped today', before you recognise the car and the side door is thrown open in front of you.
Your F/O gestures and/or calls for you to get in. They knew you would be out at this time (They're familiar with your basic schedule ^^), saw the downpour and thought immediately 'Oh shit wait, Y/N's out in this'- and came right over to get you out of it.
What's their car like? Is it sleek and well taken car of? Is it a regular old thing? Does it look like its gonna break down any time now?
Do they have a blanket for you to throw over your legs? Or do they throw you their coat??~~~
Do they enforce seat belts? Are they gonna refuse to go if you just pull the blanket over your shoulders and 'forget' (Or genuinely forget) to buckle up or will they lean over and buckle you themselves?
Are they taking you to your destination or are they taking you to their house because you need a hot shower and to get warm or you're gonna catch a cold? Are they kind about it or bossy? XD
Will they stop by a drive thru to get you something to eat and/or drink? Maybe something lovely and hot?? Or are you two the crazy people who eat ice cream when its cold 'cuz it wont melt'?
Possibly most importantly; Is their any chance that your F/O would kick you back out into the rain for any reason? XD
#THIS WAS ME TODAY#there was me. a ragamuffin. walking home with my side bag full of a million things for placement#plus another bag with tea and a wooden tea set also for placement#wearing only a thin jacket and a hat- a s t r a w hat#and the heavens open up--#god what i would've given for 👠cruella to tear down the street and snap at me to get in the bloody car- XD#i'd have fur tickling my nose from the coat thrown at me and she would take me straight to her house without a word XD ^^#this gives me the warm and fuzzies ^^#🐊jim would take me through a drive thru and get me food and we sit in the parking while the rain threatens to break the roof of the car-#(oh my gosh more warm and fuzzies XD)#and 🖕otis is kidnapping me but he doesnt care if i shower and get warm or not he just wanted me and doesnt care about any plans i had >>#none of them care about seat belts#(though if cruella or otis is driving Iiii certainly care about seatbelts#and those two would also kick me out if i pushed their buttons 😅😅 no sense of humour. dang- XD#F/O#F/O's#F/O Imagine#F/O Imagines#F/O x Reader
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Now that my brain has had sufficient time to process that six nine revelation...I'm still reeling. I had a feeling he was going to be taller than the boys based on some of the comments you'd made about Audric when he was younger and holiday mascots but for some reason six nine has broken my brain. As a tiny five two myself, on a good day, I cannot comprehend being that tall and am just going to keep thinking about it for a while
I spend way too much time amusing myself over scenarios of them meeting, fwiw. Lyra and Audun, that is. She's kind of a lanky beanpole herself (like 5'8. I think she's the tallest femme char in the cast, well, of the magi. Pretty sure we'll see Mrs. Rosewood at some point, given that family hails from Lichgate, as stated in the fading bg chp 0 convo between Thackery Rosewood and Grian From HR. She'll definitely take the prize in any magi/maven combination lineup, while Maddie's the shortest adult femme.) But back to the Thorncrofts/Papa, we kept musing that it only felt right if he was the tallest in the already Vertically Proficient family. It especially means that, in full masked/hooded uniform (especially with aura manifested), he must look quite intimidating even to madness consumed, high level corruptions. Hopefully! It'd make the job easier if they did a little pause. Might not lose any extra body parts at least...
#solivaga#soli asks#the anon that asked about an AU of maia being adopted by lyra et al had my brain going to maia taking one look at audun and just#nope nope nope changed my mind#she's just a bit jumpy#esp as a kid#who am I kidding the jumpiness level has not decreased at all she's just better at controlling the level of reaction now#honestly tho given that lyra's a bit tall as well I think meeting her in-person up-close would have intimidated child maia as well#it's easier when it's a tiny recording#tiny lyra#pocket sized#Maia's numerous and ever unfolding hangups#but yes I too am very short. even as we speak I am barely peeping up over the edge of my desk while I type#a tiny rat in three booster seats daydreaming about The Talls meeting and going on a Date#the same tiny rat is again begging Lyra to use all of her big academical smartbrains to stop making rash decisions w/o her gander boy#tags gone wild#also yes holiday mascots have a very certain look in audric's mind esp and he forever struggles with the often softer jollier depictions
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Okay, decision made:
He almost primarily uses his Abyssal abilities, and near exclusively in the way a Cryo Abyss Mage/Cryo Herald would, and had relied upon them alone, up until he was given an Anemo Delusion once he'd become of age.
#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#hc; kaeya#//Shields and teleporting like a Mage; the rest of his combat style mostly Cryo Herald based#//Or even smth overall v peacock-like I think would suit him well; maybe a fight style reminiscent of She.n of K.FP2 too. LOVE that idea#//Was given a Delusion after his first successful solo mission; after pleading for one so he could be stronger to help the Tsaritsa's goal#//He proved himself quite worthy of it; though not so much to be able to have a seat at the Harbinger table jdfbgfg#//He tends to give off an almost monstrous vibe whenever he's angered; Abyssal-infused cryo and Anemo swirling about him#//I like to think he might eventually get his Cryo Vision proper at some point#//Maybe due to anger over what happened to Signora; manifesting as he'd grown numb in stunned horror; his perfect facade shattering#//Swearing a cruel vengeance upon the Traveler should the opportunity first arrive; even as he does hold affection for them#//Would hate to use the delusion tho. Appreciates the Tsaritsa's grace upon him. However; using it would HURT with his typical abilities#//That; and he'd be reminded of his grudge for the Traveler and his grief over Signora#//Damn that's like a Shig.araki scenario a bit; wait; holy shit. Could work like that; actually. But make it ✨ Yandere ✨#//But yeah; Abyssal ice abilities is his main powerset#//Sidetracking now with ✨ Bonus Hcs ✨#//Might have a bit of an aesthetic like Signora with his eyepatch; likes to remove it before a deathmatch/killing someone#//Says he likes them to 'properly look him in the eyes'; make the kill feel more personal/intimate#//Deffo like to make his kills v up close & personal; jamming an icicle into their heart; or freezing them mid-embrace before pulling away#//So they're left in a stance like they're always reaching for him. Playing up a lover's act to the last moment to keep their expression#//Now that I think of it; him getting a Harbinger promotion would make more sense as him taking Signora's place. But wanting a diff name#//So she can keep her own legacy/part in them; rather than taking it for himself like Arle did#//His outfit...I do like smth remiscient of Sailwind Shadow for him. Crossed with like. Cassim from Aladdin somewhat; maybe. Idk#//Or or maybe Gort.ash's fit from Bg.3; save colored more like Sailwind; and slimmer pants to go with it?#https://64.media.tumblr.com/a91418ea9ac0be44f03e8d8494d6fbfd/f9bb8cfabf66c0a5-d2/s640x960/098025fb2112e76394eff11f69ed59ea818d52e3.pnj#//That one more like I think. Lol; rip mobile users tho mdfjbkdfg#//Do like that one. But idevenk lololol. Do still like the idea of him having an asymmetrical cape#//Or peacock reminiscent tails; for further Sh.en resemblance! For THEATRICS!!! And deffo LOTS of Khaenri'ahn star motifs#//One of his main goals as part of the Fatui is revenge for Khaenri'ah; the part of him stolen by Celestia; that he longs so desperately fo#//Boss fight wise; I like the idea of him having a form that's an unholy amalgam of a Cryo Herald; Foul Legacy; and Aven's boss form
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#Need a lil scream#My friends from college out here getting professional gigs#Me signing up for an amateur orchestra ON FLUTE#And they've seated me on violin without telling me?#I found out through a friend who was super excited to be playing flute with me#Like my email had FLUTE AND PICCOLO in the title#I said I had a masters in FLUTE PERFORMANCE#And that I would love to play FLUTE AND PICCOLO in the mahler concert#Yet my friend gets invited to a different rehearsal and shows up and the flute section is filled#Like if he wasn't there I would have showed up to the rehearsal I got given with my flute because that's what I assumed I was playing?#Im going to do that anyways tbh#Replied to the email asking what instrument I'm playing#And very suspiciously the conductor is no longer replying 👀#Seriously what the fuck only me absolute bullshit!
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Last night’s dream was the first one I’ve had in a long time where I wanted to fall back asleep and stay in it/experience it again
#so i’d moved back to the states under false pretences (student visa whilst having zero plan to do another degree)#and was living with my favourite of the three roommates i had last time i was there. they had however given up weed completely and become#a full blown alcoholic. our apartment was messy as fuck and i was the only person who was cleaning it#at one point a couple of our friends were helping me and they were criticising all the mess and i was like ‘it’s literally not me’#i was taking classes to maintain the ruse that i was doing something to deserve my student visa and every class i showed up to everyone was#wearing surgical masks for covid. i also had this weird thing going on where i could see everyone irl#but if i wanted to i could see everyone in video game sprite form and i could see whether i’d met them yet and how many hearts i had#with them. and there was this guy i realllly wanted to flirt with so i tried sitting in what i was pretty sure was the seat next to his#but this other guy sat next to me instead and kind of looked at me funny#then he started talking to me unprompted about covid rates on campus and then started flirting with me and then was like ‘btw did you know#who i am?’ and i was like ‘no lol. i mean i know your name because you introduced yourself but other than that’#and he’s like ‘oh that’s such a relief’. turns out he’s the famous lead singer of a kpop band. he’s like ‘if i took off this surgical mask#and styled my hair a bit differently i would get mobbed immediately’ i was like ‘yeah i don’t listen to kpop. i have kpop mutuals but the#whole thing is a mystery to me’ anyway he told me his name but i just called him kim to help him maintain anonymity#we made a date to hang out and study together and i went back to my horrible apartment to discover that my roommate had broken their#sobriety from weed and there was a drug dealer in my flat trying to sign me up for ‘a weed raffle’#i was like ‘i’m not interested but what can i get for $20’ she lists off two incomprehensible measurements and weed strains and then says#‘i can give you weed hot chocolate’ i was like ‘that sounds fucking delicious sign me up’ she’s like ‘this is a good deal darling’#i’m just like ‘okay’. i woke up still waiting for my weed hot chocolate to arrive and also waiting for my date with kpop boy#overall a really nice dream. like yeah the covid stuff and the mess was bad but honestly… honestly that’s just life atm#personal
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my body and head hurty to the point of puking whenever i’m at like. the movies or a concert are best friends
#my best guess is maybe it’s like. too much going on#first time it ever happened was at my first ever movie + we had to leave on account of me throwing up into dad’s nice jacket#would have been maybe six? it was elmo in grouchland lol#the next notable time was at my year five disco#to be fair did fine with movies most of the way through high school + beyond#but it’s a given at concerts#saw paul mccartney with my thumbs in my ears + fingers covering my eyes because my brain was about to implode#then it happened at a smaller gig in the valley#only actually threw up that time and had to bail#was surprisingly good at harry styles but we had side#of stage seats so there were no lights being beamed at us#my theory is that it’s mostly a light issue because even pre headache i have never met a big light i liked#had to ask my friend if people actually enjoyed the big lights beaming into the crowd at gigs and she was like well#they’re fine? it’s not an issue?#it’s just not enjoyable i don’t get it#took sunglasses to the offspring which looked incredibly lame but did wonder for me every time they started up with the lights#probably going to pick up some earplugs for paramore + take preemptive advil just to be safe#anyways the point of this is that i just saw barbie which was fun but not all that great. overhyped in a major way imo#but spent the entire time hoping my headache would hold out#on me for not carrying advil at all times honestly#personal
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Make Puerto Rico a state already, don't like having second class Americans, and that's how I'd describe it when they're out there paying taxes, contributing to the good of the country, but they don't even get representation via things like a senator
Like I'm sat here thinking about it and... do Puerto Ricans living in Puerto Rico even get to vote for president? Cause... that's never listed in the electoral college vote count, so I'm gonna guess no
Seem to remember hearing somewhere something about "no taxation without representation", sounded pretty good I thought
Make Puerto Rico a state, make them a state. Every year I get more and more pissed off as I think about how fellow Americans are treated like this. I'm extremely pro Puerto Rico, they're clearly a part of the union... you either make them a state or make them their own country, you don't keep people trapped in this limbo state where they've got less rights than I do
#people bring up how the electoral college is there to avoid tyranny of the masses; and fair enough#(though I think it's a real broken system; and I'm not real keen on tyranny of the swing states either)#(like maybe if the electoral college was at least less winner takes all so people who don't vote like their state stood a chance)#(...I'm not gonna invent a substitution when no one's gonna implement it; but this system ain't great either)#but to the point; we don't want tyranny of the masses; right?#well here we are with Puerto Ricans not getting any say what so ever; unless I'm much mistaken... which everything I find says no#and listen... I'll be blunt; population isn't a number that ever means that much to me or sticks with me#I can't actually tell you the population of anywhere in the world cause... I tend to more just get a feel of how many people are there#like a lot; a little... like I know Nigeria has one of the highest populations; but I couldn't tell you the number#my point being; I don't know how many Puerto Ricans their are living in Puerto Rico; but it seems like a meaningful amount#it feels like they... gotta have more than like Wyoming; so it feels a little unfair if Wyoming gets a say and they don't; you know?#like no one would saying Wyoming doesn't deserve to have senators and representation in the house; and a vote for president#so why don't... I want to say millions of Americans; again; not great with the numbers side; but I feel like Puerto Rico probably has 2+ mi#I want Puerto Rican statehood; you search (and tumblr cooperates) you'll see I've been saying it for some time#also say I think DC should be a state too; and that Hawaii should be given a choice if they want to stay or not#like I like having em in the US; but they should have the right to choose#but those two I know are more radical ideas and less likely to be implemented#but Puerto Rican statehood... hands down it's a disgrace they aren't already and it goes against fundamental principles of the US#it's not like I personally know any Puerto Ricans (unless one of you is... I just don't know many people in general)#(like I don't think I know anyone from Maine either for example... lots of Arizonans though; but mostly people from my state)#anyway; I've got zero personal stake in this; it's just about what's right#Puerto Ricans are Americans; and they deserve a seat at the table... in this case a literal one; two senate seats and however many house#(I couldn't tell you what the breakdown is of population to house seats; and I'm not sure if we'd make new ones or shift from like Cali)#I don't see this happening in the next 4 years whoever wins (though... maybe have a feeling who would be more for it)#but I'll still keep saying it... I'll say it till they're given statehood
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Lover, You Should've Come Over (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Get ready to cry. This is based on a request I received yesterday where the reader gets jealous of Jean. I tried to take this in a different direction just because I feel like this is a popular trope that has been done by many fantastic writers. It's also inspired by "Lover, You Should've Come Over," by Jeff Buckley. Hope you guys enjoy.
Summary: You've been pining after Logan since you joined the X-Men, and you're convinced he'll never love you back. He’s obsessed with Jean—always has been. Or...maybe he's not.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI, Oral (f!receiving), fingering, PIV (unprotected...pls WRAP IT UP THIS IS FICTION!), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, f!reader/afab!reader, telepathic!reader, cocky!Logan, softdom!Logan (kinda? yeah.), non-canon compliant (you'll see what I mean...no spoilers), cursing, angst, feelings, implied mutant trauma (kinda a given in X-Men), probably some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 4,197 sorry
Wanting someone you can’t have—it’s that crying in the shower, pulling your legs into your chest, screaming into your pillow kind of heartache. You’ve come to know the feeling intimately. It’s an awful, horrid, stomach-churning kind of pain.
But you want him. Despite all the pain, you want him. Logan Howlett. You can’t seem to keep him off your mind. For the few months you’ve been one of the X-Men, Logan has been a constant. He’s always there—whether it’s to train or just to talk. But you know he’ll never want you. You see the way he looks at Jean. You wish you didn’t. You wish you were oblivious to that sort of thing. But you don’t need to use your telepathy to reach inside his mind for proof—you just know.
You keep holding on, savoring every moment, every interaction you have with Logan. You sit on the lawn of the mansion with him, watching the sunset. You’ll come down to the living room late at night to find him sitting in front of the T.V. and join him. Sometimes he’ll drape an arm around your shoulder. He’ll draw circles into your side as you drift off. You’ll wake up the next morning back in your bed, Logan having carried you there long after you’ve fallen asleep.
You’ve decided you’ll take all he’ll give you, even if it means nothing to him—even if it's platonic.
But tonight, you wish something would come up through the floor and swallow you whole. A void, a black hole maybe. That would do the trick. Disappearing would make everything so much easier. The second-best thing to disappearing is sitting in the kitchen of the mansion, alone, with a pint of ice cream. You decide to practice your powers, moving the silver spoon with your mind, concentrating as you dig the spoon into the top of the pint and into your mouth.
You hear a warm, familiar chuckle from the doorway as the spoon lands on your tongue. You look up, and there’s Logan, arms tucked across his chest. “Wish I could do that.”
You can’t help but smile around the spoon as he strides over to you, taking a seat on the stool next to yours. You slide the spoon out of your mouth and rest it on the napkin next to the ice cream. “Hey,” you mutter, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
His shoulder brushes against yours. He’s so close it hurts. You try to shove the pain down and enjoy the moment.
“Was hoping I’d run into you down here. Thought maybe you’d be in bed already,” Logan says, his eyes locked on yours.
You shake your head, doing your best to keep that fake smile plastered on your face. “Couldn’t sleep.”
You can see the sudden concern appear on his face. “Everything okay?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. Fuck, you think to yourself. Maybe he’s catching on.
“Yeah,” you murmur, looking down at the ice cream. “Just still having a hard time adjusting.” It wasn’t a lie. You had always struggled with your powers, longing to hide, to shove them down. Your whole life, you were either a freak or something to be used—whatever was most convenient in the moment. The struggle between visibility and forcing yourself to be “normal” was an impossible battle. You were no stranger to being taken advantage of or being experimented on.
Logan was the first person who understood that—understood you. He made you feel seen in a way that no one ever had. It’s part of the reason you’ve fallen so hard for him.
His hand is suddenly on your back, yanking you from your thoughts and back to reality. “I’m here,” he whispers. “Whatever you need, anything.”
Anything. You wish he really meant it.
“Thanks, Lo.” You smile up at him, letting your eyes linger on his lips for just a second before looking back down at the ice cream. “Want some?” You ask, nodding at the pint.
“Only if you feed it to me the way you did when I walked in.” You can hear the smirk in his voice as he taps the spoon. You side-eye him incredulously. “I mean it. Wanna see you do it again.” There’s a husk in his voice, a shift in his timber that sends a chill down your spine. You try not to think about it too much as you pick up the spoon with your mind.
You guide the spoon inside the pint, scraping the top, and lifting it up towards Logan’s mouth. He opens wide as you lead the spoon inside, his tongue hitting the bottom as his lips close around it. The implications of the moment don’t dawn on you until he’s grabbing the spoon with his hands and sucking on the metal. There’s something undeniably suggestive about this.
Heat rises to your chest as you replay the image of him taking the spoon into his mouth in your mind. It’s so intimate, so domestic. And, certainly, something else—something that makes you tick, that makes that familiar fire grow deep within your belly.
But—like always—the moment doesn’t last long. You wince, feeling someone itching against your thoughts, prodding at your mental shields, begging to be let in. Suddenly, there’s another voice in your mind.
I gotta try that myself. You flinch at the sound, taking the spoon from Logan’s hand and shooting it across the room to where you sense the person’s presence. You turn around, and there’s Jean, resisting the spoon’s trajectory with her mind.
It's almost pressing into her skull, shaking in mid-air, ready to break her skin. You gasp and drop the spoon, embarrassed to have registered her as a threat. “I’m so sorry,” you say, watching as Jean crouches down and picks up the spoon. “I didn’t know that was you in there, I swear.”
You expect Logan to stand from the chair and rush over to Jean, but he stays next to you, glued to your side, the palm of his hand resting gently on your back. “Jean.” His voice is firm, almost cold and harsh. “What was that?” You’re surprised at how curt he’s being with her, surprised he remembered that you’re sensitive to people probing around your mind, even if it’s friendly.
Jean mutters a curse. “I was just communicating with her. I didn’t think she’d—”
Logan stands, his hand still steady at your back. “Don’t do that again. Ever.” His voice is louder now, heavier.
She whispers an apology, setting the spoon on the counter and walking towards the doorway. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says. “I should’ve remembered given your…” she pauses, searching for the word, “past…that it wouldn’t be a good idea.” She takes another tentative step. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she says, and she slips out.
Logan settles back into the stool next to you. You’re shocked that he’s still here, that he hasn’t run away yet. You can hear him breathe—in and out—gentle, long breaths. You close your eyes and listen, the sound calming you down. You’re still expecting him to leave, to walk away, but he doesn’t.
“You okay?” He asks, your eyes fluttering open, his voice hanging in the air. His head is tilted to the side, worry painted across his face.
“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” you stutter, your voice cracking. “You don’t have to stay with me. You can go check on her if you want.” You nod towards the doorway—to wherever Jean wandered off to.
“And why would I do that?” Is all he says in return, furrowing his brows.
You put on that fake smile again. “I almost jammed a spoon into her forehead because she spoke to me telepathically.” You shake your head. “Don’t really think my reaction was particularly friendly—or something that good people do.” You break eye contact with Logan and look to the other side of the kitchen. “Plus, you two are…close.”
“Hey.” His voice is firm again, but gentle this time, reassuring. His hand slips across your back and rests on your waist. You’re so shocked by the contact that you almost miss what he says. “First of all, she knows better. Charles warned her about what you’ve been through. And second…” He trails off, smirking at you. “I’d rather be with you.”
Oh? Oh. He’d rather be with you.
“I just thought, you know, you and Jean were…” You’re too embarrassed to finish the sentence and too nervous to hear him say the words you’ve been dreading most.
He shakes his head, that smirk still spread across his lips. “No, it’s not Jean I want. Never has been.”
Your breathing becomes shaky—your heart beating rapidly in your chest. “If it’s not Jean, then—”
Logan cuts you off as he suddenly moves. His arm lifts from your waist as he stands, turning your stool around so your back is against the cold countertop. He’s gripping the arms of the stool now, caging you in. Your mind is hazy—you can’t concentrate with him this close.
“You think I do the shit I do with you with Jean too, hm?” He’s towering over you, his head cocking to the side, his voice self-assured and confident. “Think I’m watching movies and sunsets with her? Carrying her to bed, too?”
You’re overwhelmed, dizzied by his words, his size, him. “Just thought that—”
“Just thought what?” He cuts you off again. “That I didn’t want you, darlin’?” He brings his lips to the shell of your ear, one hand moving from the counter to your hip. “Wanted you this whole time,” he huffs, goosebumps rising on your arms. “Only you.” He presses a kiss to your ear, and then just underneath your jaw.
“Logan,” you whisper. “W-want you too,” you choke out, your hands coming up and around his back. “B-but someone’s gonna walk in on us.”
He’s ignoring you, biting your pulse point lightly and licking the pain away. “Let them,” he husks, refusing to stop. You instinctively bring your hands up to the nape of his neck, your nails digging in slightly. He groans at the contact, his chest heaving against yours.
“One of the kids is catch us in here, or somebody else,” you mutter, his face still buried in the crook of your neck. “W-we should—”
“Go to my room.” He finishes your thought.
“Please.”
And then he’s picking you up from the chair, his hands under your thighs, grabbing your ass. You wrap your legs around his waist as he prowls out of the kitchen. He looks both ways as he crosses the hallway and makes his way to the stairs. There’s no one in sight. He carries you up the steps and down the hall to his room, practically breaking down the door as he swings it open and slams it shut.
And then he’s laying you down on his bed, crawling over you, pressing his forehead against yours. “Wanted you in here sooner,” he murmurs, his lips just inches from yours. “Hoped you’d come over one night. You should’ve.”
His lips crash down onto yours before you can find the words to say. He’s starving for you, swallowing your moans as his hands slip under your shirt, his nails digging lightly into your sides. “So fucking beautiful,” he rasps against your lips. Everything is desperate and rushed, hands pawing at bare skin in the dim light of his room.
Logan tugs on the hem of your shirt, rolling it up your body and over your head. He tosses it to the side as he sits up on his knees, taking you in. He curses under his breath, looking you up and down.
“Logan,” you whine, arching your back. You need his hands on you again, his lips. Something. Anything.
“I know, pretty girl,” he soothes, his fingers hooking inside the waistband of your shorts. “Gonna take care of you.” He yanks them down your legs, leaving you in just your bra and panties.
He pulls off his own shirt, tossing it carelessly, letting it get lost on the floor. He settles back down over you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand finds your waist. He slides up to the bottom of your bra, teasingly pulling on the fabric before slipping his hand behind your back—skillfully unclasping the bra with one easy motion. You arch your back again, the bra straps sliding down your arms as Logan tosses the bra to the floor, too.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, his hand tracing the curves of your breasts, massaging gently. “Perfect.” He captures your lips in another kiss as his thumb ghosts over your nipples, just barely giving you the relief you need before pinching softly. The pressure feels so good, so right, but it’s not enough.
He draws circles around your nipples with his thumb, the sensation feeding the aching fire between your legs. Your hips involuntarily lift off the mattress, meeting his. “Need me that bad, huh?” He is always so incredibly cocky, even now—especially now. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you, and what to do next.
Logan grinds his erection into your core. You can feel how big he is, the weight of him heavy against your cunt even in his jeans. You clench around nothing, whining his name as his strained cock teases your panty-clad pussy. “You want me to make you feel good, pretty girl?”
“Y-yes,” you stutter, biting your lips as his hand leaves your tits and sweeps down your stomach, stopping just above your clit. He slides his fingers down just a bit more, feeling where your arousal seeps through your panties.
“Already soaking for me, sweetheart.” The bassy timber of his voice stokes that flame deep within your belly. Without warning, he’s hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and yanking them down your legs. “Can’t wait anymore, pretty girl,” he whispers. “Wanna taste this pussy.” He kisses your belly button, leaving a trail down the rest of your stomach as his mouth travels to where you need him most.
There’s something depraved about the way he’s crawling down your body, taking in every inch of you. He spreads your legs apart with the palms of his hands—his thumbs brushing against your bare skin, licking teasingly at your inner thighs as he settles in between them.
He pauses, looking at you under hooded eyes. You can see the want—no, the need—in the way his muscles flex and how he works his jaw. But he’s hesitating, his breath hot against your core, sending another jolt of desire through your body. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, your eyes searching his for his next move.
He finally presses a kiss to your clit. “You don’t understand how you make me feel,” he mumbles against your heat, licking a long stripe through your folds and back to your clit. “No idea how long I’ve fucking wanted you.” You throw your head back, whimpering his name as he laps again and again. He’s starving, and you’re the only thing that can satiate his hunger. His tongue swirls around your clit, flicking it, taking it in between his lips and sucking hard.
Your hips lift off the mattress and Logan quickly moves to hold them down. “You’re not going anywhere, darlin’,” he grunts against you, the vibration of his voice going straight to your core.
His free hand slips up the inside of your thighs, teasingly climbing higher and higher, his nails skimming your flesh. He’s toying with you, leading you on, taking his time. His fingers finally ghost over your folds, exploring you, stroking up and down as his tongue laps at your cunt.
Logan prods your entrance with two fingers, slipping in just a bit, testing the waters. “Please,” you beg, pushing your hips down in an attempt to sink his fingers deeper into you. He stops you, his hand still firmly holding your hips down, refusing to give you the release you’re dying for.
“So fucking impatient, aren’t you?” He tuts. And then he’s shoving two fingers all the way inside you, down to his knuckles. “Such a pretty pussy.”
“F-fuck!” You cry out, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he sets a relentless pace. He’s drinking you in, sucking roughly, his long fingers pumping in and out with a vengeance.
“’This what you wanted, pretty girl?” He asks condescendingly in between laps. You’re too fucked out to form a sentence, your legs trembling underneath him. You know he’s loving this���loving that you’re a wet, needy, whimpering mess.
Your walls squeeze around his fingers, your swollen clit throbbing as he laps at you. You’re so close already. “Lo,” you call out, fisting the sheets of his bed. Everything in here smells like him: pine and mint and musk and tobacco and that thing that’s uniquely Logan. It’s all so overwhelming and overstimulating. You’re ready to fall apart, to melt into nothingness. “S-so close.”
He squeezes your hip. “I know, sweetheart,” he soothes, his pace unwavering as his fingers fuck into you, scissoring inside you, drawing you closer to your climax with that come-hither motion he does so well. Your walls flutter again. “That’s it,” he coos. “Wanna feel you come—wanna know what it tastes like.” He licks harder, faster. “Let go for me, darlin’.”
He pushes you over the edge, pleasure warming your belly as you let go. It washes over you in waves, his fingers still pumping in and out, his tongue still hanging on to the taste of you. You ride it out, his thumb brushing your hip, coaxing you through it. His fingers slip out of your cunt, but his head is still buried between your legs. You shudder as he licks long, slow stripes through your folds.
“So fucking sweet,” he growls, still starving for more. “Not done with you yet.”
Fuck.
But you need more—need his cock deep inside you, pounding into you. You need him in front of you, his lips on yours.
“Logan,” you whine, your voice shaky and trembling just like the rest of your body. He finally lifts his head, his hair a disheveled mess, your juices glistening on his lips and his chin. The sight of him makes your breath hitch in your throat. There’s a feral, needy look in his eyes. He’s starving for more of you, and you’re not quite sure he’ll ever get enough.
But he can see your chest heaving and the desire in your own eyes. He knows what you need—he always does. He sits up on his knees, staring at you while he slowly unbuckles his belt. The tension is palpable, the clinking of his belt against the hardwood floors cutting through it like a hot knife—the only sounds the melding of your quick breaths and the shuffling of bed sheets as Logan finally comes up to meet you.
He's balancing on his forearm as he unbuttons his jeans, undoing the zipper and shoving the denim and his boxers down his legs. You swallow at the sight of his cock springing against his stomach. You had felt his erection before, but he is far bigger than you ever anticipated.
With one hand on his cock, he lowers himself in between your thighs. You instinctually spread your legs for him, inviting him in. He nudges against your entrance, taking his time.
His forehead meets yours, your chests flush against each other’s, panting in sync. You’re both waiting with bated breath, his tip slipping inside, but stopping short before going any farther.
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “Thought I’d never have you,” he confesses, pushing his tip a bit further in. “Would’ve given up anything for this. Would’ve waited forever.”
“You don’t have to,” you murmur. “I’m right here. I’m yours.”
“Mine?”
“All yours.”
And then he’s pushing deep inside you, down to the hilt, bottoming out. He swallows your moans with a kiss, biting your lip, drawing blood, and licking it away. “All fucking mine.” He stays buried inside you, unmoving. “Wanna stay inside you forever, sweetheart,” he growls, your heart bursting at the thought.
He pulls himself all the way out and all the way back in, stretching you out, working you open. You look down in between your bodies and watch as his cock disappears inside of you. “Feels s-so fucking good,” you stammer, already drunk off him.
“Like watching me fuck into you?” Logan husks, picking up his pace, his hips snapping into yours.
“Y-yes,” you whimper. His muscles flex as he ruts into you. He takes the hand that was on his cock and brings it in between your bodies, his fingertips quickly finding your clit and giving it a soft pinch. Your back arches off the mattress at the sensation.
Logan hums at your reaction. “So sensitive,” he groans. “Taking me so good, sweetheart.” You can feel him losing control as he rams into you, his thrusts growing harder with each pump of his cock. He’s drawing firm, fast circles into your core.
It’s all too much, him, his cock, his fingers. Your skin is on fire, your nipples pushing against his chest—the friction absolutely delicious. You’re already so close, just a few steps away from the ledge, and you’re ready to fall.
“Know you’re close, darlin’,” Logan moans in between kisses. “Can feel you squeezing me.”
You hum in response, but Logan refuses to let up. His pace is beyond brutal, pounding into you over and over again, his fingers working your clit in tandem. Your muscles contract around him, gripping tightly.
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “So fucking tight, so fucking warm.” His praises are more than you can handle. “You gonna come on my cock, just like this?”
“Yes, fuck, Logan!” You’re a babbling mess, his name the only thing on your mind, on your lips, hanging in the air like it’s a sacred prayer. Everything is him, and it always has been. In this moment and in every other, he is your end and your beginning.
“Let go for me, sweetheart. Know you can do it for me.” His deep voice is all you need to walk you through it. You’re breaking down, coming on his cock, the pleasure coursing through your veins, spreading like an untamable fire.
He’s stroking your clit long after you’ve come, still snapping his hips into yours, still working up towards his own orgasm. His pace is getting sloppier, but he shows no signs of stopping. You can feel yourself growing overstimulated, his cock rubbing against your walls, his fingers circling your clit. “S’too much,” you whine, your nails digging into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist.
Logan presses himself closer to you, as close as he possibly can be. “You’ve got one more in you, sweetheart,” he coaxes, not letting up. “Know you can take it.”
You’re breathless, clinging onto him helplessly. You’re clamping down on him again, taking him deeper than you did before. He’s hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. “Lo,” you whimper. “I’m gonna—”
“I know, darlin’,” he grunts. You can feel him throbbing inside you. “Let it happen, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
The tension is snapping again, breaking in half as he pulls another orgasm from you. You shudder as you come for a third time, overstimulated and beyond fucked out. You know he’s close behind, his hips slowing down, his forehead pressed against yours. He slips his hand away from your clit and around your back, pulling you closer to his chest. It’s so intimate, so perfect.
“F-fuck,” he mumbles. “Where do you want me to—”
You hold him closer. “Stay,” you whisper. “Want you inside. Wanna feel you come.”
“Oh fuck,” he mutters, plunging deep inside you, his muscles tensing as he fills you up, your name on his lips. His thrusts slow, pumping in and out every now and then before finally stopping.
You stay like this for a few minutes, his arm keeping you tight against his chest, his cock still buried inside you and your foreheads still pressed together.
He brings a hand up to your cheek, his thumb brushing gently across your skin. You sigh, your eyes fluttering open and closed.
He shakes his head. “I always wanted you,” he says, his voice low and raspy. “The whole time. It was only ever you.”
His words could make you cry. It’s everything you’ve ever hoped to hear. You smile, his hand finding its way to the crook of your neck, his fingers lightly stroking your sensitive skin. “Can’t believe I didn’t see it,” you breathe, your voice laden with sleepiness. “I never knew. Thought you’d never want me.”
“I’ll always want you.” His cock finally slips out of you, leaving you feeling empty. His legs tangle with yours, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “Would’ve waited forever for you, darlin’.”
“Forever?”
“Longer.”
#Logan Howlett x reader#Wolverine x reader#James Logan Howlett x reader#Logan Howlett x reader smut#Wolverine x reader smut#James Logan Howlett x reader smut#Logan Howlett smut#Wolverine smut#James Logan Howlett smut#Logan Howlett imagine#Logan Howlett x you#Wolverine imagine#Wolverine x you#James Logan Howlett imagine#James Logan Howlett x you#Logan Howlett x you smut#Wolverine x you smut#James Logan Howlett x you smut
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I wonder: Do Americans know about american school buses? Not their existence in general, but how they're seen overseas.
Over here, they're one of the symbols of America, on par with the Statue of Liberty, the flag, the Eagle, and well ahead of any chain restaurant you can name. People won't know any US states, but they will know these vehicles.
The thing is, here in Germany, we don't have dedicated school buses. The general idea is that kids go to school on their own. When that's not practical, they're expected to use (and given free tickets for) public transit. Public transit is designed around this requirement; there are many places where there is a bus, and anyone can get on it, but the route and timetable really only makes sense for school children. In case a dedicated school bus is really needed, that's generally subcontracted out, and the lines either use something like a Sprinter Van for smaller routes, or a normal city or interurban bus (often a used one that's a bit older). School trips are normal public transit, or a rented bus, typically a coach or regional bus.
It's not a perfect system, in the past couple of years there's been an epidemic of people bringing their kids to school in their cars instead of letting them walk, which is less than ideal. It is what it is. But building a dedicated network of public transit lines only for students, and building dedicated vehicles only for that, has never occurred to anyone here.
Of course we know about these buses, from movies and such, but they're as foreign here as cacti or pick-up trucks (actually we're seeing more and more of these here) or yellow cabs (all europeans will assume all cabs in the US are yellow until they actually visit).
You do see these buses here at times, because people still generally like the idea of the US, even if they have a lot of issues with a lot of details, and so folks bring them over, along with stretch limos and stuff (also not really a thing here). And of course, if someone goes to all that trouble, they don't do it to haul school kids, they rent it out for city tours or as a party bus or whatever.
So you see these yellow things as a symbol of faraway places, scenic vistas, some vague undefined idea of freedom that doesn't necessarily hold up to any contact with reality, and it's just a huge part of the whole US aesthetic.
And then you go to a student exchange with the US, and you finally get the chance: You yourself get to ride in one of these iconic chrome yellow buses! It looks just like in the movies! You get in, you drive in them a little…
…and you realise they're shit. Just the worst buses in the western world. Terrible suspension. Uncomfortable seats with weirdly high backs (so they don't have to put seatbelts in, they just restrict how far kids can fly in an accident). Everything made out of the cheapest materials. Turns out the reason why the US uses school buses like that instead of normal modern city buses, which the US has, is to save money and because they just hate kids.
And then it hits you why US Americans say "as American as apple pie", a dish that is made and enjoyed literally anywhere in the world, instead of "as American as yellow school buses". Of course the Americans already knew all this. They got tortured by these things forever. It would never occur to them to see this as a symbol of America, it's just a normal part of life for them. It's a symbol of school and school life and sometimes normalcy, and tells us that these actors getting out of it are supposed to be teenagers, nothing more.
But most people in Europe have, of course, never ridden on these buses. So when they see them in movies and TV, that's a giant big yellow signifier that we're not in Hessen or Wallonia or wherever anymore. A symbol of a different world, one that may be at most a once-in-a-lifetime-experience for most people, just like a picture of a tropical beach, Mayan Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or Hildesheim (there's no reason to go there twice). And I think Americans don't know that, and that's fascinating.
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"A....middle name?" Themis tilted his head. "Oh....yes, that will suit well enough as well." He smiled, and was he perhaps amused by her suggestion? "Themis Elidibus....something. Yes....yes this is fine." His expression turned a tad more sardonic concerning Fandaniel, but only until she was answering his questions regarding his mental well-being. He nodded seriously and crossed his arms thoughtfully.
"I know little and less of his mortal life, other than he clung to it harder than any other Ascian." He murmured. "Though my memories are....vague, I cannot recall any other awoken shard reacting quite as violently as he did when his life as Hermes was restored to him." He frowned faintly. "So you don't think he's coping....a wonder he left the house at all then." He closed his eyes, tilting his head as his brow furrowed in thought.
"You have certainly set before yourself a difficult task, both to give him that reason to live and to deal with the fact that you are his main reason. He will need something else." He opened an eye to look at her and smiled crookedly. "This is only speculation of course, but given how he acted as an Ascian, I consider it highly likely that he will desire to reclaim at least something of what he had as a mortal man. He loved technology and genetics, so that may be the best direction to steer him....in a direction a tad more beneficial to the star than the culture he came from was intended to be."
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” He echoed softly in agreement, nodding. Though not for the same altruistic purposes, he had certainly played the heroic role enough times to relate to the burden. He smiled crookedly, perhaps thinking on those times, what of them he might remember now that he was himself wholly again.
“As much as I am certain there are many who would see myself and Emet-Selch punished in some way for our countless wrongdoings….it is better to let them simply believe the threat of the Ascians vanished with the Final Days.” He tucked his arms behind his back, and smiled. “Which does slide neatly into the new topic. Officially speaking, the Convocation is well and truly dead. While I have not told Emet-Selch to give up his title, I made him aware of this decision and he has agreed to it. To wit, I am technically no longer Elidibus. You may call me by it, but…..it carries no weight save with those already familiar with it. It is just a name, and I am just….myself. I will answer to it just as I will Themis.” He gave a thoughtful hum. “Perhaps it could become my….surname? Yes, I think I would rather like that.”
He looked aside briefly. “Though that doesn’t really answer your question.” He looked back at her, wholly serious now. “I deliberately chose a moment I knew Fandaniel wasn’t here so I could talk to you without his bristling and sniping, but if I may, I would wait until his return so I can officially tell him he no longer need keep his title of office.” He smiled crookedly. “In matter of fact, I insist he not use it ever again. The Convocation is gone, but he betrayed our purpose on every level and does not deserve to keep the title. Less personally, I am concerned with how he is adjusting….a man so set on restarting the Final Days is one to have certain concerns regarding and after this long I was hoping you could offer insights into how you feel he is coping….”
#Fandaniel RP#Prelude#long post#(that's okay he may have given up the title of Elidibus but you can pry the responsibilities of the seat from his cold dead hands)#(he's as unlikely to stop acting like an emissary as Hades would stop overseeing the underworld. they simply can't help themselves)
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Ok but for real us being soft over the Vessels’ tummies has helped me so much today
Like my pants were falling off my hips all day again. The same pair of capris that I was wearing last week and made the note: “Pulling a Vessel with the way my (loose ass) pants (with stuff in pockets) are coming down my hips”. And uh. Same today again. And so I didn’t tie them tight enough (partially bc I like not having to untie them to take them off). And so they were under my belly button and sliding down all day. Which is fine. But especially when I was doing stuff they slid further down and underneath my belly. Held up only by a hip. And if my shirt lifted up then like. It was all exposed. Soft round belly. Love handles. That crease by your hip (and above it too) (far rounder than all the vessels combined but that’s ok I’m fat and it’s okay.)
And I’m. Okay with it. (Today). I’m soft and squishy and round and it’s okay. And you know what? It’s even cute. Cute and soft and squishy and OKAY!
#body image#tummies#I think I was sappier about it before I had to try to remember and retype it but anyway. I’m actually just. feeling okay about my body rn.#which I’m really happy about?!?#like even through the pain it does so much?!#I was able to walk around and see what shops were around in an unfamiliar shopping centre#I was able to drive with minimal pain (though I do have the seat warmer on for my back)#I got to enjoy some lake time though I didn’t venture through the mud so I didn’t have to clean my work shoes which are bad enough rn#I was able to bring up my bags and groceries in one trip#I was able to scale the salmon. zest and cut and juice a bag of lemons. cut up a bunch of veggies for soup and make all of that#I got a shower (hot for comfort of course) and did a small load of laundry that I’ll have to toss into the dryer later#and I haven’t fallen down. I haven’t given up. and I’m. doing alright?!?#honestly shocked. I’ll crash tonight but that’s okay.#and I can squat down to do things that are easier closer to the ground#(ok sometimes the knee kinda clicks? out and feels like I have to rip it back into place but we’re ignoring that bc it’s been a little whil#(though usually that just means I’m due for it to happen again and not be able to bend it for a while again… ah well#hopefully I’ve strengthened it enough again that I’ll be fairly ok at least for a while…#rambling rambling eh whatever#like yeah I’m fat and there are a few reasons it would be nice to be smaller but it’s not worth the Bad Things I fall into to get smaller#and right now I’m just? so okay with it??? and I just need to keep this moment in posterity bc I can’t remember the last time I was this ok#and even POSITIVE about my body?#(I mean yeah my boudoir shoot was pretty awesome but that was years ago now and also she edited stuff as well)#(and tbh i want to do another boudoir shoot at some point. but im doing at least a few tattoos first i think. make my body Home more so 1st#just kinda. relishing in this peace and …happiness?#this is good 😌#it feels nice to feel nice about myself and my body :)#shatters’ fragments
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