#live so bad it's outlawed in some countries

[izhunny]

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[hotteokyu]

Bad Girl Syndrome

MINORS DNI ~ EXPLICIT CONTENT

Synopsis~ Reader and Yunho are some bad bitches. They're lovers in crime, infamous for their heartless acts. Everyone knows them. The scariest of the scariest are scared of them. They're insane. Except... there's one little secret. The lovers are so innocent behind closed doors. They've never thought about it until now, let alone done it. Sex, that is.

Word count~ 11.4k

Pairing~ outlaw!yunho x outlaw!reader

Genre / WARNINGS ~ NSFW / EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT, romance, violence, drugs, criminal activity, sexual tension, pet names, insensitive language, yu and y/n are super cute, they "participate" in an orgy temporarily, dry humping, vaginal fingering, oral (female and male receiving), vaginal sex, yuyu's big, first time, virgins.

a/n~ have fun!! mwa ᯓᡣ𐭩

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     Everyone has a story. Most of them aren’t important. 

     But yours is.

     You were fifteen when you met him. 

     It was silly because he was just like you.

     He liked to do bad things.

     You saw him first at a local charity. One that helped ex-convicts start a new life. You saw him hand a freaky-looking shit a gun. It was on the news the next morning. Fifteen people died. And that freaky guy killed himself after.

     You liked to do bad things too.

     Smashing vending machines, selling drugs, breaking into rich fucks’ houses, and snipping their whores’ hair off while they slept. Just small things.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     Jeong Yunho was his name.

     It took only a month for him to notice you. When you got together at sixteen, you began to do worse things. Kill, rob, torment. It felt so much better to do it with Yunho. Your reputation built on its own as your desire to play alongside him grew.

     You were wanted in four countries by eighteen.

     At nineteen, you were arrested in Mongolia for murder and wanted to die rather than live through that hell. You were assaulted physically and sexually multiple times by inmates and guards alike.

     You were twenty when you killed an inmate for trying to take your clothes off. You had smashed her head against the cell bars until her brains were spilling out and she collapsed, dead. You were gone before she was found.

     You and Yunho had to move around a lot after that, and you found others along the way. Seven outlaws, wanted for this or that. Your gang was somewhat official by the time you were twenty-one. That’s when you found your turf. And you never left.

     By twenty-four, you were fucking unstoppable. 

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     “Hmm? Where’s your bitch?” 

     The bar was quiet. The bartender, a youthful drunkard, was always talking the customers away. It was bad for business but nice for the locals. For you and your bitch.

     “He’s around,” you sighed. “You think he’ll leave me? He doesn’t even take me out anymore.” You sat down softly upon a stool at the bar, your chin resting on the palm of your hand sadly. There was even a little pout to go with it. “I just might die if he leaves me.”

     The man scoffed, rubbing uselessly at a stained glass, pinching its rim with a black hand towel. It looked like it would turn to dust, as it used to be purple. “About time. I’m tired of your shit.”

     You ignored him, instead sighing again as you eyed the door gloomily. 

     Wooyoung was his name, maybe. You’d thought about killing him before, but Yunho really liked him. For some reason. He was so loud. Holy shit, he did not stop talking. It made you so fucking close to slicing his neck wide open.

     The bell above the door rang, and two heavy feet stumbled inside. You closed your eyes, letting out a long sigh. You’d taken a shower that morning, but a bath didn’t sound too bad. Just to soothe your frustrations, though you could already feel them fading away.

     You opened your eyes slowly, cocking a brow at the bartender, who was very much not amused. At least he wasn’t talking. 

     “Wooyoungie~!” you sang, hopping to your feet as the steps grew closer. You let a smirk land on your lips. “I think I’ll live tonight!”

     “I think you should just go home,” he groaned, eyeing the customer behind you, then returning his annoyed orbs right back at your growing grin. Your lips stretched far over your teeth as you reached a cheek-squishing smile.

     “There’s no tomorrow! Only tonight!” you shouted. 

     The steps behind you halted. Even retreated just once or twice. You stepped out, twirling your hair over your shoulder as you turned your head toward him. Six feet tall, big, strong, eyes wide in terror as he laid them on your grin. 

     You liked eyeing up those men. The big ones who turned to putty as soon as they heard your pretty voice or saw your beautiful face. It was so cute. I mean, who could be scared of you? Your little bows and skirts. Your cutesy smile and pretty pink lip gloss. Not to mention your beautiful eyes. Any man would want to fall deep into their ethereal design. But instead, they were drained of all color. Gray clumps of old smelly men who were so scared of you. It made the killing part so much more fulfilling. 

     You took a step, your left foot before your right. A straight line as you pattered your way, just a few steps, toward the frozen man. They were so slow. Could he even see you moving? He didn’t even move his eyes from your smile. He was a little nervous. You had to let him get comfortable with your face, let him enjoy it. It would be the last thing he ever saw.

     You could see his tremble as you got closer, just a bit. He didn’t move, but he consistently quivered in that spot.

     Around then, you would usually be thinking of how you wanted to do it, but you were so tired. You just wanted to slit his throat and be done. Have Wooyoung take care of the rest. Or maybe just let him go. He seemed to want to leave anyway. Not that you were stopping him. 

     A glass slid against the counter then. You glanced over, just a little curious. You were so zoned in, but the sound broke that abruptly.

     “Hi, baby,” Yunho mumbled from a stool at the bar. Your pin-sized pupils dilated significantly at the simple sight of him. The soft, low sound of his voice. 

     You heard a whimper of sorts from the man beside you, and you frowned, eyeing him and deepening the curve of your lips. “Can you just go?” you sighed, rolling your eyes when his legs stumbled in trying to figure out where to move. 

     His knees dropped to the floor, a droplet of water splashing against the dirty mud-tracked tile. That was either a tear or the drool that had been dripping from his mouth since he fucking walked in. Disgusting. He suddenly choked out a sob so gruesome and horrified as he slammed his arms over his head.

     “Oh, okay.” She glanced over at the two men at the counter, slowly shrugging in confusion. They were getting so stupidly scared. How could fear make you like that? That’s so embarrassing. 

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     “How are you still standing, Wooyoungie?” Yunho chuckled, splashing his drink as he clanked his glass against your kitchen counter. “Her face is so scary~!” He took your head between his two huge hands and squished your cheeks together, imitating the pout that your lips formed as he watched your features reshape between his palms. “Ooh~ I’m so scared~!” He grinned when your tightly knitted brows lightened and hopped a little with your small laugh. 

     “I’m going home,” Wooyoung grumbled, pushing his glass away as he sighed dramatically at your lovey-lovely shit. “Don’t call me. I’ll be dead anyway.”

     “No~! That’s not true!!” you laughed. “We’ll protect you!” 

     Yunho nodded, giving Wooyoung a confident thumbs up. He wasn’t really having it.

     “Don’t call me.”

     The door creaked and slammed, the sound echoing throughout the room. Yunho was watching the frames on the wall tremble for a moment before he eagerly turned back toward you. His grin was playful as always, his eyes squinting as he watched your pretty little face.

     “Are you excited for tomorrow?” he asked, his smile growing a bit bigger when you nodded quickly. He put a gentle hand on your head, stroking down once, then twice. There was always a gentleness to his gaze that you adored. Because Yunho was a dangerous man, but he also became putty when he looked at you. Only in a completely different way from anyone else. 

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     Money wasn’t the issue. It was just so thrilling. Of course, money was great too. There was just something about that moment outside of the forbidden vault. You could hardly breathe with the mask sticking to your face like a second layer of skin. Your eyes sparkled out of excitement and the reflection of the shimmer of the silver vault door. 

     You weren’t allowed in there. You weren’t allowed to have any of what lay beyond the door. So you wanted it. 

     “Ladies first.” Yunho’s voice was soft beside your ear, his body pressing lightly against your back as he bent down to meet you at your level. You lifted your hand just high enough to feel the fluff of his black hair peeking out from the mask at his neck. You slid your fingers against the soft of his skin gently. “Or are you scared?” he whispered, folding just a little closer. He took your wrist in his hand and lowered it, placing it on the wheel of the door. “Or do you need help?”

     You pulled, and the door creaked, slowly opening to reveal the bags and boxes of treasures within. This town was so underdeveloped. No need for technology or even locks within the vault because there was hardly anything to anyone’s name anyway. 

     “You’ve got three minutes. We parked out back. Call when you’re ready to go.” You could hear the crinkles of a bag and the crunches of snacks through your earpiece. Seonghwa was probably in the driver’s seat munching on some chips. At least he ate neatly. 

     As soon as you stepped foot into the room, the other three outlaws on your raid team rushed inside. San, Jongho, and Yeosang. They were big, and strong, and good at being efficient in times like these. They would take care of loading the goods. 

     You walked past the gold bars and green bills toward the back of the vault, an empty wall, the perfect canvas. Yunho held out the spray paint, black this time. Black meant murder, though this was a robbery. There was one death, the lady at the counter who wanted to be a hero. But it was hardly murder. She collapsed with a little push against the wall.

     Sighing, you took the can. Then, as far as your arms could reach, you sprayed your gang’s cute little symbol. The curves looked nice that time, dripping just a bit as you stood back to admire your hard work. 

     “We’re leaving,” Yunho announced as you turned toward the door. The room was nearly empty. You grabbed the final bag as everyone filed out.

     The blood on the floor from the lady had spread into the walkway. You stepped into the puddle with a small smile. You liked leaving a trace of your cute pink boots behind. The cops would go crazy over the evidence, but it would be useless.

     “I thought you liked those boots,” Yunho mumbled, pouting a little as you all got in the van and drove off. “They’re ruined…”

     “I’ll get new ones,” you assured, knowing he liked them more than you did. 

     You wiggled your feet out and frowned when you saw a drop of red on your white sock down by your toes. Yunho gasped, taking your foot off of the van floor and placing it in his lap. 

     “You like these too,” he grumbled.

     Yunho always grew a little attached to cute things. Especially when they were on you. 

     You placed your hands on his soft cheeks, his eyes meeting yours. “I think you like them more than I do,” you teased, and he nodded. “Do you like them more than you like me?” you asked, pouting a little.

     “Holy shit!” San suddenly shouted. Everyone turned their heads in confusion, your hands dropping to your lap. “Get a fucking room,” he practically growled, glaring at the two of you in the back seat. “I’m tired of hearing it! You’re practically fucking each other every heist! Just wait until you get home!” He huffed and turned around in his seat.

     Sex. What distaste.

     “San, be for serious right now,” Wooyoung snickered.

     “They don’t even kiss. What do you mean fuck?” Jongho added. San glanced around in confusion.

     “They’re all up on each other, though, what do you mean??” 

     When you simply shifted in your seat, making your presence known, silence passed through the air. Not a single thought passed through that rigid air. No one moved. San’s face was awfully fucking pale compared to his golden skin. You’d think out of all of the seven outlaws you picked up from the streets, the stray cat should be the most grateful. I guess even loyal pets need to be retaught their manners.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     San looked guilty. There was nothing for him to be afraid of. You would never hurt him too badly. He was family, after all. 

     Choi San.

     You loved to joke around. You loved to have fun. You were a jolly girl. But to label you a whore? To speak or even think about such vulgar, lowly things?

     “San, what did we talk about, honey,” you asked, glancing down at his trembling hand, gripping his thigh and staining his black pants with his sweat. “It’s not too hard, is it? To respect me and your people.” 

     He shook his head, staring straight at the ground. You could feel your eye twitching. This relationship was not built on violence, so, unfortunately, you couldn’t just fucking kill him. 

     “San, please look at me.” His head shot up, and you saw the hot tears quivering in his bloodshot eyes. You frowned. “Poor, baby.” He was doing a poor job of keeping those tears bottled up. They looked like they’d spill over. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

     “I know,” he said between gritted teeth.

     “You know, I love you,” you said sweetly, giving him a small smile. 

     “I know.”

     “So what brought about this disrespect?” you asked, your voice growing just a bit tighter as you tried to contain yourself. He was fragile. “Was I rude to you? Was I bothering you too much? Do I annoy you?”

     He shook his head. “I was worried about your privacy,” he mumbled. His jaw was locked tight, the veins in his neck bulging as he stared into the center of your face. “That’s all.”

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     “Fuuuck~” Wooyoung groaned. “I’m so ready to get the fuck out of here!” He leaned his head against the wall, lifting it and dropping it in quiet thuds.

     “Got a day left, Woo,” Yeosang reminded, smiling optimistically at his friend. He gave a cute thumbs-up, but the goon was uninterested, instead banging his head just a bit harder against the heist room wall. 

     “We’ve only been here for three months,” Hongjoong said as he walked in through the back door. His steps were a sophisticated rhythm, one foot in front of the other as he strolled into the little abandoned warehouse. “What’s one more day?”

     “Captain, I’m sick of living in hiding like a fucking criminal,” Wooyoung grumbled, stopping his banging once the man sat down.

     “That’s crazy,” Jongho snickered. “Who’s gonna tell him?”

     “Fuck, we deserve luxury,” Wooyoung practically moaned. “That town we went to two years back. We should go there again.” He bit his lip, rolling his eyes at the pleasurable thought of living like normal rich biches again.

     Hongjoong smiled softly. It always looked a little menacing that way. “Our princess picked out a nice place for us this time,” he said, winking as Wooyoung’s face lit up. “I thought it might be nice to fuck up something nice.”

     “Fuck, you’re so right,” Wooyoung moaned.

     “Did we forget our manners, Wooyoungie?” Yunho asked, leaning against the back of his chair. Wooyoung flinched just slightly before relaxing into a playful smirk.

     “Yeah. I’m a bad boy,” he mumbled, leaning his head back into Yunho’s stomach. “Gotta punish me.” 

     He glanced at you and your indifferent expression. He looked annoyed, disappointed, even. Then he lifted his head, sighed, and acted like nothing had just happened. 

     “Can we focus on tonight? We can’t fuck this up,” you said, and all eyes landed on you. “The cops are on high alert, and they know we’ll be there. They want to get us tonight.”

     “You mean, you?” Wooyoung grumbled. “They don’t give a shit about us. They just want you.” He eyed you reluctantly, then glanced toward Yunho. “And maybe him.” He half-assed a point toward the man. 

     “Don’t be silly,” Yunho cooed, patting Wooyoung’s shoulder sympathetically. “They want all of us equally.”

     Hongjoong shook his head. “No, he’s right,” he said. “We’re all fucked up, but you guys are on another level of fucked up. You’re the real prize.” 

     “I bet they’d cuff one of us just to ask where Y/n is. They’d let us go if we told,” San said, puckering his lips. “But I’m a good boy, so I’d never tell.”

     You scrunched your brows. Why were your teammates such freaks?

     “Aww~!” Wooyoung sung. “Is Sannie a good boy?” San nodded, giving his best puppy eyes as Wooyoung leaned over the table to stroke his short black hair.

     “Anyway!” you interrupted, clearing your throat when the freaks wouldn’t stop petting each other. “Does everyone remember what they need to fucking do?” You pressed your lips together, glancing at each individual as they nodded. One of them would find a way to fuck this up. You knew they would. It would probably be fucking Choi San, his head stuck thinking about sex. Sex. Sex. Fucking whore. 

     You left the room first, and Yunho followed close behind. Your black heels clacked on the cracked concrete floor and echoed throughout the empty warehouse. You loved that sound. You let it envelop your mind. Let it calm you down just a bit. 

     You should’ve been excited for that night. It was the night you’d been waiting for for a long time. Then you could finally get out of here. You just couldn’t get yourself hyped. You were so annoyed. 

     Yunho peeked into your line of vision, and you cracked a small smile, turning toward him happily. He was grinning, his hand folding into yours. He always fell into step beside you, his heelclickingng in time with yours. He was so conscious of every little detail. The folds on your skin, how they wrinkled just slightly at your agitation. The falter in your step, how your confidence must not be at its peak as it should be on an important night like this. 

     “Do you think we’re fucked up?” he asked, and you gave him a knowing look.

     “Of course not, baby. Don’t think that,” you cooed. “I’m just so pretty. They all want me so bad.”

     He laughed, squeezing his eyes together giddily as he pulled you just a bit closer. 

     “You gonna dress in black tonight?” he asked, looking from your shoes to your top to the pin in your hair. You were feeling a little depressed today. So what?

     “Mm…” you hummed to yourself. “Maybe I would feel better if I wore some pink.”

     He nodded quickly. “I think so.”

     “Yeah?” you giggled.

     He bit his lip, eyeing you shyly. “Pink looks really good on you.” You nearly coo at the pink blush tinting his cheeks from ear to ear. 

     He was so adorable. You didn’t even need to put any pink on to feel good.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     For context, it was a masquerade party or something. The cargo was a small vial of a newly developed drug. It gave an aroused, high feeling. A lot like an aphrodisiac, but stronger. It didn’t really matter what it was. Your buddies in Russia wanted it, so you would supply it. 

     But, of course, there was a guest list. No one would let you in. Everyone and their mothers knew your pretty little face. 

     That’s where your pretty princess came in. Mingi wasn’t a “member” of your gang, nor was he affiliated with you publically. He was born with money and status but liked to do bad things. He was naughty, but he was quiet. And he fucking loved you and Jeong Yunho. He met you two back when you were kids in Korea. He tagged along for a while but was dragged back to the princess life before anything became public. He had connections, money, and a fine good reputation. Your perfect princess. 

     You would go to the party as “Mingi”’s plus one. The man at your side would only be Mingi until you got inside, though. Once the identity authentication was processed, he would sneak out and switch with Yunho. As much as you all loved Mingi, he wasn’t very good at being naughty. 

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     “Are you feeling all right, baby?” Yunho asked, his arm escorting you stiffly through the crowd.

     You hardly heard him over the extremity of your heartbeat. Fuck, this place was gorgeous. You wanted to look around at each painting, each dress, each extravagant jewel bedazzling the walls and tables, and fountains of assortments of drinks, and the gold flakes on sweet macaroons. The clacks of gentle steps elegantly echoed throughout the doming walls of the crystal structure. You could die a happy lady with this sight.

     “Do you like the dress I picked out for you?” Mingi asked from over the radio. Yunho’s arm tensed at your side, squeezing yours to him to keep your steps from wandering too far in amazement.

     You glanced toward Yunho with a soft, composed smile. “It’s lovely,” you told Mingi. In all honesty, it was pale and boring. Not at all your style, but at least it was shiny and blended in with the majority of the crowd. 

     Your mask, on the other hand, was absolutely stunning. When Yunho saw your sparkling eyes hidden beautifully in the shadows of the decorative piece, he nearly fell to his knees. He was in awe, not wanting to part from you, even if it was for, like, ten minutes. Mingi had to pry your arm from his grasp. It was embarrassing in front of your members, but you could just coo at his needy behavior. 

     Yunho gave you a knowing look as you frowned slightly down at your dress. 

     “The room you need to go into is downstairs,” Mingi sighed. “The guy with your package should arrive there soon.”

     “Any cams in there?” Yeosang asked, his fingers clacking against his ancient keyboard. 

     Mingi hummed. “I doubt it. Most of the time… shit goes down in the basement, ya know?” 

     It was a disadvantage you wish you didn’t have, but there was literally no information on the activities in the room you needed to be in. You had to be prepared for anything, and that was dangerous. 

     “Y/n, you see anything noteworthy around the stairs in the back?” Wooyoung asked. “I think I might know something.”

     You turned to Yunho, smiling up at him as you swayed your hand animatedly, talking almost silently but very expressively. “I think I know too. Butlers are carrying drinks down there every few minutes. Attendees…” you chuckled, a little nervous now that it’s all clicked for you. “The most revealing of the ladies and oldest, ugliest of the men.”

     Yunho nodded, smiling. “Does that mean…”

     “Well,” Wooyoung chuckled. “At least there’s two of you! It should be fine!”

     You winced as he let out a louder, monkey fucking laugh into your ear. You'd beat him up later, respect aside. 

     “You think this is funny?” you asked through tightly ground teeth. 

     “Guuuys~” he giggled, starting to calm down a bit. “It won’t be too hard. There’s gonna be tons of drugs and butt-naked men, but don’t pay attention to any of that.”

     “We don’t even know if that’s what it is,” Yeosang interrupted. 

     “That’s definitely what it is,” you sighed, watching as panting men and ladies escaped the darkness of the basement, sweating, flushed, and high as fuck.

     Wooyoung cleared his throat. “Listen. All you have to do is pretend to have some fun together. Then, pull out your magic drugs and get the guy’s attention. You know what the new stuff looks like. Make sure to bag it. You’ve done this for years, babes.”

     “Yeah, but people weren’t fucking and moaning and blocking every fucking sen-”

     Yunho placed a hand on your hip and squeezed lightly. You needed to shut the fuck up. Who were you to complain? It wouldn’t be hard. Woo was right. You would get in, bag that shit, and get out.

     “Let’s just go,” you mumbled, letting your expression sag to its natural annoyed state before you plastered an excited smile on your lips. 

     Yunho also seemed reluctant but tagged along regardless. I mean, neither of you really had a choice. This, or your Russian “buddies” would come find you while you were sleeping. 

     The guy at the door stopped you as you approached. You giggled like a slut, leaning into Yunho as you bit your lip. You reached into your man’s jacket pocket and slipped out just barely your little container of candy. He looked satisfied and let you pass. 

     You practically gagged as soon as that stench hit your nose. What the fuck was it. Alcohol. Tobacco. Cum. 

     What a fucking mess. 

     Woo was right. Buck naked, boobies hanging. Sex in every corner. Sex on every couch. 

     “Come on, baby,” Yunho groaned in your ear, pulling you to a free chair in the back of the room. Your ear twitched at the sound. It was definitely something you’d never heard from your sweet man before. You already knew he was much better at acting like he’d actually had sex before than you were. 

     He sat down and pulled you onto his lap. That was about all he had in him. He dropped his arms, pressed his lips tightly together, and stared wide-eyed at you above him. 

     “So you guys are in,” Wooyoung chuckled. “Where are you two in the room? Stay in the back, away from everyone’s attention.”

     “We’re in the back. O-on a chair,” you whispered into Yunho’s ear, right where his mic was. You lingered there for a moment. You could figure this out. It couldn’t be that hard. Sex. I mean, not sex. Pretending you were having sex. 

     After a long moment of horrible silence in your little area, Wooyoung cleared his throat. “Do you guys need some help?”

     “Yes,” you and Yunho both whispered immediately. 

     Wooyoung let out the biggest sigh, but he didn’t say anything about your incompetence as a couple. I mean, everyone knew you DID NOT fuck. For some reason… Everyone knew that. 

     “Sit on Yunho’s lap, Y/n,” he said. You nodded, glad you already had step one down. “All the way. Get all the way up on him.”

     You tilted your head. “All-?”

     “All the way.”

     You blushed, clearing your throat lightly as you scooted up on his lap, your hips flush together. You leaned over him, your mouth beside his ear simply to have his mic handy, but, this close, it felt too real already to simply be a mission. You’d never climbed your man like this before. You were probably heavy.

     “Yunho, hands on her hips.” 

     They were quick to tap your flesh, trembling as he curled his long, slender fingers around your waist. 

     “Now, listen to me,” he sighed, “Y/n, you’re gonna, like, roll your hips, BUT, you're gonna push against his stomach, NOT his crotch. Okay?? Not his crotch. Don't touch him there. Lift your hips a bit and roll them against his stomach.” 

     Yunho helped you lift your hips up a bit. You puckered your lips as you slowly pushed your hips forward. It was awkward and stiff, but you thought maybe you were doing it right. I mean, it didn’t feel like anything, so you couldn’t tell if it actually looked like you were doing anything. 

     “Does this seem right?” you whispered, continuing the slow rocking motion with his gentle guidance. 

     “Probably…” he mumbled, taking a slow, shaky breath.

     “Yunho, make sure to put on a good face for the crowd, buddy,” Wooyoung said. Yunho tensed a bit at that. You, though… immediately lifted your face from his side and stared at him. He was flushed, his eyes wide, a bit shocked at your sudden movement. 

     But you didn’t want him to make expressions like that for everyone to see. 

     You pressed your forehead against his with slightly parted lips. He was so close, his hands on your body, lips just an inch from yours. You had to close your eyes, taking slow breaths. 

     “I think this is better,” you mumbled, your nose brushing just barely against his. 

     He tried to nod, but it was just a tremble of his adorable features as he gazed at everything in front of him. 

     After a moment, everything started to slow down a bit. Your legs were relaxing, getting a bit messier in their precise movement, and you lowered just a bit. 

     He hissed, and you eyed him in confusion. Was he hurting somewhere? He shook his head, his grip on your hips tightening. He whispered something, but with his mouth so far from your ear, his voice was drowned out by the moaning and slapping throughout the room.

     So you leaned forward, your head above his shoulder, but instead of words, you were met with a low groan.

     You could hear the sudden confusion in Wooyoung’s hums on the other end. “Yunho? You good, man? What happened?”

     “I don’t think this is right,” he mumbled.

     “What do you mean?” you whispered.

     “I don’t think we’re doing it right,” he breathed, his voice starting to tremble as he let out the smallest peep of a sound against his will.

     “It’s not like I’ve done this before,” you grumbled. “It’s fine as long as it looks like we’re doing something.”

     “No, I mean-”

     “It’s fine, Yunho. We’ll be done soon anyway.”

     He dropped his forehead to your shoulder with a defeated sigh, his grip loose on your hips as he let out small, shivering sounds, some low, some soft and light. You could hardly hear them at all. 

     You didn’t really know what to do. It would be over as soon as you found your guy. You would apologize and pamper him when it was all over. 

     “He’s headed in,” Wooyoung announced. “Get his attention, please.” 

     “Wow, so polite today,” you mumbled, lifting your head just a bit to glance toward the door. 

     There he was, old, wrinkly, ugly, short. You know how it is. You wondered if he’d even be interested in you with your clothes on. Cause you were not fucking taking them off.

     You grabbed the drugs from Yunho’s pocket, hopped off his lap, and strode across the room. You caught his eye almost immediately. Without a word, you grabbed his tie and pulled his head toward yours, tapping your forehead against his.

     He looked interested already, but at the sight of what was in your hand, his pupils blew out completely. 

     “I brought my toy with me tonight,” you said, slurring your words with a giggle. “But he’s no fun right now. Wanna join us?” 

     He was practically drooling, so you pulled away. If any of that fucking got on you, you would’ve made it everybody’s problem. 

     He nodded, but, stepping just a bit closer, you shook your head, tisking at his desperate agreement.

     “You got anything with you? Dick is no fun tonight.” You pouted a bit. 

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     To say this was the easiest fucking mission you’d ever done just wasn’t enough. I mean, you got to climb on your man for the first time. You got to dress up and attend a fancy ball with a fancy ball gown. You didn’t have to show your face. You got what you needed without a problem.

     But then you were back in your little home, buried under the rush of the working class. Buried under the city, under the shops and the stars and the people. You and Yunho were alone.

     And to say it wasn’t the most awkwardly silent moment in your entire life simply wouldn’t give justice to the situation. Because how does one go about something so different from anything you’d ever done before? Especially when your relationship status has been set at relaxing routine for years on end. Nothing has ever changed or developed since you were teenagers. 

     Now you were sitting on your little couch, facing the wall, side by side, as there wasn’t much room for any more than just the two of you. There was never the need for any more space. Why was everything so clustered all of a sudden? Everything was so hot. You were flustered, warm, and you needed to change into something lighter. You needed to scoot just a little bit away from him. You needed some fresh air.

     You didn’t move from your spot. 

     He rubbed his palms against his pants. He must’ve been hot too. He was breathing slowly and deeply. He must’ve been flustered. He was blushing from ear to ear. He must’ve been thinking the same things.

     So neither of you moved.

     Your eyes wandered from the floor to your hands to the wall to his eyes. You both looked away. 

     Fuck, this was so embarrassing. You’d lost track of how many years you’d been together. You hardly remembered a time when you didn’t know him. And this was what it all came to?

     “I’m sorry I did that, Yuyu,” you mumbled, nibbling just slightly against your bottom lip. You promised you would apologize and pamper him until he forgave you, but that was all in the heat of the moment. You were too embarrassed now.

     “No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, almost laughing. He did that when he was beyond embarrassed. Practically humiliated. 

     “It was an inappropriate thing to do on a mission. I should have been more careful,” you sighed. 

     He did laugh then, but more because he could finally look at you and see how serious you were. Your little pout was the cutest thing.

     “I think that was a very appropriate place to do that,” he joked, grinning when you tilted your head in disbelief. He patted your knee, settling down his giggles. “It’s okay, baby. It was just a disguise.”

     “You felt good, though,” you mumbled, your head lowered as you gazed up at his cheeks, turning back to their pink flush. His hand twitched on your knee. He wanted to cover his face with his hand, but he kept it planted there, shaking his head instead.

     “I didn’t,” he denied. “You were doing what Youngie said to do, so I didn’t feel anything.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “Seriously.” His voice rose, a small scoff leaving his lips when you just sat there. Yunho couldn’t let lies simmer in silent air for much longer than, like, ten seconds.

     “Well,” you started, sitting up a little straighter, “I didn’t feel anything either.” Which was mostly true. You were so focused on the heist. You didn’t have time to focus on… that.

     “Exactly,” he mumbled, eyeing you with a slight pout. “We didn’t do anything. We don’t do stuff like that.”

     “Well, I mean,” you huffed,  taking a few short, puffing breaths. “It wouldn’t be weird for us to do something like that.”

     “I just mean we haven’t,” he muttered, so quiet and muffled between his puckered lips.

     You blinked a few times, staring blankly at your hands in your lap. “We don’t even know how to do it,” you said, biting your lip as you glanced from him to the floor to him again. He had a similar blank, thoughtless expression, but you knew his mind was spinning like crazy. Just like yours. “And anyway,” you started, tilting your head from side to side as you thought, “it’s weird to start that so late, you know? Like, no one’s a virgin at twenty-four. That’s weird…” You eyed him slowly, and he was covering his mouth then, looking out the window with deep red ears. “...Right? That’s weird, right?”

     “I’m a virgin at twenty-five,” he mumbled, glancing at you. You could tell he was grinning behind his long, slender fingers. “I’m a freak, right?”

     You stared at him, thinking honestly about your answer, for just a moment before nodding. “Yeah, you’re a freak.” 

     He nudged your side with his arm with a grumble of some nonsense, words jumbled together quietly and fast.

     “Hmm?” You quirked a brow, staring at him as he avoided your eyes. “What’d you say?”

     “Nothing,” he mumbled, leaning away from you as you leaned closer, trying to catch his attention. “Nevermind,” he said, obviously fighting a smile as you poked at his side, trying to get him to look at you.

     “No~” you groaned. “What did you saaay??”

     You slipped your leg over his as he refused to look your way and sat right back down in that controversial place you’d been discussing. His lap. 

     He shut his eyes and dropped his head back to the couch cushion in disbelief. “You’ll get mad,” he mumbled.

     “I won’t,” you promised, tapping his chest as he stayed silent for another few seconds. “Were you gonna say…” you pretended to think hard, humming softly as you scooted forward on his lap. “...that you actually felt really good?” You, ever so slightly, rolled your hips forward, and his eyes squeezed tighter as his lips pressed into a thin line. He shook his head. “In a room like that? You like that? Have you been a pervert this whole time, baby?” You gasped as his eyes shot open, and you rolled your hips again. His left eye twitched, making cold contact with yours. “So I was right,” you beamed.

     “No,” he said, planting his hands on your hips and halting your tiny movements. “When did you learn to do that?” he asked, frowning deeply.

     “What do you mean, baby,” you mumbled. “Wooyoung taught me earlier today. You were there.” 

     “This is different,” he said, pushing you away slightly. 

     You shook your head. “Nuh uh. I was doing it like this earlier too.” You suppressed a giddy smile as he gazed at you, completely unimpressed. “Why? Does it feel good?”

     “Of course it does,” he grumbled, glancing from his lap to your eyes over and over like he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

     So you cupped his cheeks in your hands and focused his eyes on you. You raised your brows lightly, a soft smile on your lips. “How about a kiss?” 

     His brows twitched. “What?”

     “You know,” you mumbled, “we kiss all the time.”

     “Do we?” he questioned knowingly. 

     “We do it enough. A good amount. The amount people should, I guess.” 

     He laughed, his cheeks puffing up under your soft palms. He leaned with a small sigh into your right hand, not too tense anymore, just enjoying the view.

     “Should we kiss then?” he asked, pressing his lips together as he gazed at your flushed cheeks. You nodded, your eyes wandering around the room, sometimes flickering to his plump pink lips. 

     As he leaned forward, you quickly closed your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t remember the last time you’d kissed. You only remembered the first one, but you were sixteen. Things were definitely…

     Softer. Gentler. So, so delicate as he pressed his lips against yours. His hands left your hips to cup your cheeks, mimicking your position out of comfort or familiarity. You didn’t care much, though, because this felt really nice.

     The way you paused and let your lips melt into each other's embrace. Then you moved just slightly in no particular way. You just wanted to feel him a little more. He moved his lips along with yours, slow, slow and careful. You could feel his quiet breath through his nose, but his pulse was racing under your pinky finger on his neck. It was silent other than the soft movement of your lips. 

     You shifted closer. Maybe he wouldn’t mind so much if he was distracted. A low groan muffled against your lips and rumbled against your chest as your hips pressed against his. His lips parted but never stopped, moving just a bit faster. He moved one hand to the back of your head, his fingers sliding through your hair. He pulled your face closer. His lips urged you to work faster. Meet his demands. You opened your mouth just a bit like he was. You couldn’t find much of a common movement, but it was a mutual understanding of a growing need. Desire. 

     You flinched, though, when you felt something poke against your sensitive area. You backed your hips away in confusion, but his hands were quick to pull them back.

     “It’s okay,” he whispered, his lips giving little pecks to yours as he let you both catch your breath. “It feels good.” His hands found your back, sliding under your shirt and resting on the bare skin of your lower back. “Does it feel good, baby?” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “I think I like it.”

     “I like it,” you repeated in a soft whisper. 

     He smiled against your lips before leaving them completely. When he leaned to the side and kissed your neck so gently, you shivered with a trembling exhale. Your hands rested on his shoulder as his lips moved in little kisses along your neck. His hands slid up your hack, bunching your shirt above his arms as he raised him inch by inch, feeling your soft skin shiver under his fingertips.

     “Yunho,” you breathed, feeling completely embraced by him from every side. It was heaven, and you felt so warm, so delicate and loved.

     He giggled to himself, his lips still attached to your neck, and you scoffed in disbelief, nearly sitting up. 

     “I want to taste you so bad,” he laughed. “Is that weird?”

     “What?” you squeaked, your eyes popping out from their sockets as he held you closer to him from behind, afraid you’d run away from the confession. 

     “I mean, people do that, right?” he mumbled. “Lick and bite and stuff. That’s normal. It feels good, probably.”

     “Whatever,” you grumbled. “Do what you want.”

     He hummed against your neck, a clear smile growing on his sly lips. “Really?” 

     You didn’t answer, instead burying your face in his neck in complete embarrassment. You were so red. So dazed. And he hadn’t even done anything. This should have been nothing. But every little thing he-

     Your hand slapped to your mouth as the weirdest, grossest sound left your lips. His teeth had sunken into your neck without warning, his tongue giving little kisses of apology as he chuckled. Your breath was warm and quick against your palm as he soothed the red mark he’d left. You wanted to hit him. That felt so bad. It felt so fucking good. No, that’s weird. It shouldn’t feel good for someone to bite you. Or lick you or anything. Like, that’s weird. 

     “Baby~” he mumbled, practically whining with how pathetically he stretched it out. He lifted his head, his mouth agape as he panted and watched you with such a… how would you describe it even? It was like his pupils were starting to glaze over. Like he was high on the tension in the air. Or maybe just the look and the sound of you. 

     “What?” you mumbled shyly.

     “I didn’t know you could make sounds like that,” he said, shutting his mouth to swallow hard. “Did you?” He paused, biting his lip. “And you didn’t tell me?”

     “Obviously not,” you grumbled, looking away as you tried to wipe away his kisses on your neck, suddenly feeling a little cold without him there. But you felt hot everywhere else. There was no forgetting about that. Especially in some places. I mean, it’s not like you were the only one.

     You shook your head quickly, trying to clear your thoughts. I mean, who was going to lead everything if your man was already high on air? You had to stay level-headed. 

     His features twitched suddenly, and his eyes shot down to his lap where his… now that you’re fucking looking at it… huge bulge pressed against your… now that you’re fucking noticing it… leaking core. You were mortified, to say the least. Like, that’s disgusting. You were getting your… stuff on his pants. 

     Your eyes shot up to him, though, when he groaned at the sight. His brows curled upward desperately as he suddenly couldn’t wait another second to move on to the next part.

     “Baby,” he breathed. “Is it… fuck.” He smiled slightly, but it faded quickly, his emotions overwhelming him all at once. “Look at you,” he sighed.

     He pulled your hips closer, rubbing your clothed core against him. You shut your lips tightly as a tiny whimper escaped. He rubbed against you just the right way, sliding against your clit as he pulled you back and forth. 

     He was breathing heavily, his head resting back against the couch. He basked in the feeling, his cheeks red and features feverish. 

     You slid your fingers through his soft hair, and he leaned toward your touch, his eyes closing gently with a content sigh. You kissed his parted lips as he ground your hips against him. Your noises were muffled in each other’s lips as everything started to pick up its pace. His hands left your hips to travel up your stomach, but you kept the rhythm steady. You tilted your head as your lips moved faster and harder against his. You whimpered into his mouth as you felt his tongue lick hesitantly against your lips. You let him in, his tongue meeting yours with desperate intention. Your eyes rolled back at the taste of him, and his hands gently cupped your breasts with a low groan. 

     “They’re so soft,” he mumbled against your lips.

     “Did you think they’d be rough?” you giggled, breaking away from the kiss with a playful smack of your lips. Your smile faltered as he gave them a soft squeeze. Feeling his big hands slowly envelop your chest made you blush. Sure you weren’t insecure about your body, but his hands just made everything feel so small. Not that you minded at all.

     His thumb brushed against your nipple, and you whimpered at the sensitive touch. His ear visibly twitched as he took note of your response. He brought his fingers to your nipples and flicked them lightly, and you shivered, plopping your forehead down to his shoulder. 

     “Does that feel good?” he cooed, puckering his lips as he listened to your little hiccups of soft, airy moans as he gently pinched and caressed your aroused buds.

     Your thighs were getting weak as you lazily ground your hips down against him. One of his hands came down to your thigh and tapped it lightly before he lifted you from his lap and laid you carefully down on the couch.

     He sat between your legs resting on his heels as he gazed down at you. He ran his fingers through his messy hair and let it fall from the top of his head. His lips parted, bruised and puffy from your abuse. His eyes were glazed over, staring intently yet so dazedly at you. His cock strained thick against his pants. Fuck, all of it was making you feel so good all on your own. Just looking at him above you.

     You grabbed your shirt and stripped it over your head impatiently. You didn’t care if you were naked in front of him. You were so hot, needy, and maybe he’d take the hint and take his shirt off. That was a rare sight to see. It was a pity. Yunho had the most handsome pecs and the softest, cutest tummy. Your baby was always insecure about it, though.

     When he didn’t move, his eyes staring in complete awe at your chest, you tugged lightly at his shirt. He didn’t move his eyes from you as he tossed it over his head. You bit your lip, your hand spreading over his stomach as you engraved the sight into your mind. Who knew when he’d let you see it again?

     You quickly took your pants off, leaving you in just your pink panties as you laid back down.

     His hands caressed your thighs gently as he carefully eased your legs open, nice and wide for him. “Should I make you feel good?” he asked stroking your thighs from your hips to your knees to the dip between your thighs and your sensitive area.

     You nodded, sinking deeper into the couch as he placed a tentative thumb on the wet of your panties. He glanced from his slow rubs to your face, watching cluelessly as you breathed softly. 

     “I should just take these off,” you decided, feeling a growing frustration in your core. You needed his hands on you now. He nodded in agreement, slipping his fingers under the elastic before you could do it yourself. He hadn’t even finished getting it off your leg when he stopped to stare down at you. He shivered, exhaling with a trembling breath as he slowly reached down and parted your wet lips, revealing your pretty pussy for him. His hips bucked forward just slightly into nothing as he sat there, gazing pathetically at how wet you were. 

     “Yuyu,” you mumbled, taking one of his hands in both of yours. “Touch it more.” You pressed his fingers flat against you, sliding them slowly through your slick. He shuddered, applying just a bit of pleasure over your clit as you guided him there. You sighed, your hips squirming a bit as a gentle pleasure flowed through you. 

     “So pretty,” he whispered, watching drops of thick slick drip onto the couch and hearing the soft squelch of your juices as he gently circled your clit. His head was beginning to hang as he focused on his movement. Eventually, you let go and allowed him to work you how he wanted. Touch you how he pleased. His messy hair fell in front of his eyes, and you gently pushed up back, holding his hair so he could see well.

     Your moans were soft like sighs and tiny whimpers until he stopped his light pressure on your clit and moved to your hole. He eyed you with each movement, worried he’d hurt you or do something that didn’t feel good. As he slipped a single, long, and slender finger inside, your eyes rolled back with a long moan, and his mind spiraled with how it felt. You were so thick and creamy and warm and tight. How could you have been hiding something so perfect from him?

     “Fuck,” he whispered, his finger pulling out before he could even put it all the way in. “Y/n,” he said with a strange determination. “I change my mind.”

     “What do you mean,” you sighed. “We’re already this far.”

     He grabbed you without a word and twisted you around so you were on top of him again. Only this time, he was laying on the couch, and you were sitting on his chest, your ass practically in his face.

     “Yunho!” you squeaked in shock. “What are you doing?!” You frantically turned around to look at him, but he was long gone, his eyes focused solely on one thing.

     “I don’t want to figure everything out right now,” he mumbled. “I just wanna get to the good part.” 

     “The good part,” you scoffed. “What the hell are you doing?”

     He lifted your hips and pulled them over his face, and your cheeks grew a deep red in embarrassment and confusion and so many overwhelming thoughts. You felt his warm breath against your core, and your thighs trembled, unsure of what to do. He gently pulled you lower until your pussy was aligned with his puffy lips. You whimpered as he gave you a soft kiss.

     “Yuyu,” you mumbled, slowly lowering your chest to his stomach as your limbs started to grow weak.

     He licked a slow, fat strip between your lips, and you jolted at the wet, lude, so fucking pleasurable sensation. You raised your hips, your brows curling and mouth falling agape, but he wrapped his hands around your thighs and pulled you back down with a long groan as he did it again.

     “Fuck,” you whimpered, your voice raising an octave as your entire body trembled in his hold. It felt so good, so vulnerable, but it made it feel even better. His soft vibrations as he breathed and groaned against your core… fuck he was so hot. “Keep going,” you mumbled, your cheek pressing against his bare stomach as you let the sensation take over your senses. He kissed you and licked you in that same area you’d shown him with your hands, rolling his lips and tongue over your clit with a gentle yet eager pressure. You had to grind your pussy against his mouth. For your sanity, you had to. You were moaning and whimpering with each rhythmic roll and lick and kiss. He was fucking drowning, and he loved it, and he was eating you like the sweetest dessert, desperate to swallow every last drop. 

     If it was so easy for him, though, it couldn’t be too hard for you either. I mean, it was just sitting there, straining against his pants. You couldn’t not be curious. 

     You mustered the strength to sit up a bit and fumbled with his pants until you unzipped the zipper and unbuttoned the button. It took you much longer than it should’ve, but your hands were fucking shaking, your eyes were watering, and your mind kept shifting back to the beautiful man lapping at your pussy. Fuck, it felt so good.

     But once his length sprung loose from his pants, you wanted it inside of you. You didn’t know how big was big, but Yunho was big. It was veiny and worked up from all of the teasing, and you wanted to make him feel so good. Make you both feel good by getting it deep inside of you. But, for now, you should return the favor to your hardworking man. 

     You wrapped an eager hand around him, not sure how much pressure to apply, but by the way his hips bucked up into your hand, you were probably doing something right. You moved from the bottom to the tip slowly, smiling slightly as you saw a little bead of precum at the top. Was he liking it? You were sure he’d like anything you did to him, but he was making you feel so good. You should reward him, right?

     You swiped your thumb over the tip and spread the new lubricant around, a soft squelch delighting your ears as you set a slow rhythm. His mouthwork faltered and turned more into heavy breaths against your core. His hips were trembling with little uncontrolled rolls into the air for more friction.

     “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, giving little kisses to your clit that sent gentle bits of pleasure throughout your body. 

      “You’re really big, Yuyu,” you whispered, licking your lips as you prepared to dive in for your treat. “You think I can take it all?”

     “I don’t know,” he sighed. “You’re so tight here. I can hardly fit my tongue in.” He gave a show of sliding his sopping tongue slowly into your clenching hole, and you whimpered, grinding your pussy pathetically on his mouth.

     “Just get me nice and loose, okay?” you panted. “I’m gonna get it all inside.”

     You flattened your tongue along its length, licking from the base to the tip before pressing the tip between your lips. He was so thick, stretching your mouth just slightly as you circled your tongue around him. His hands gripped your thighs with muffled whines as he opened you up slowly on his tongue.

     “You even taste handsome,” you mumbled before taking him in your mouth again.

     You pushed just a bit deeper, keeping your hands flat on his hips in case he felt too good and accidentally choked you on his handsome cock. Yunho’s fingers made your loose mouth tighten just a bit along his length as he inserted a finger into your tight hole, and he hissed lightly. As he set a slow pace, feeling around your drenched hole for anything that felt really good, you set a pace, too, with your little head bobs. Although you couldn’t go too far down, you stroked the rest of his length with your hand.

     He let out tiny gasps and low groans as you worked him toward ecstasy. And, fuck, you could feel it too. Everything was building up. He could hardly drink everything you were leaking as he pushed two fingers in, thrusting against your gooshy walls and pulling moans from your lips. The vibrations sent shivers of pleasure through him, which made him work harder. You were pulling each other toward climax quickly, but that’s not what you wanted.

     His fingers left your hole as your body lifted from his. You wanted the pleasure back as soon as it went away, but you knew there was something so, so much better waiting for you.

     “Fuck, this is taking too long,” you groaned as you flipped over until he was between your legs once again. 

     He giggled at your impatience, but his cock was practically begging for some sort of relief before it started hurting with how hard it was. You were both desperate, not even thinking anymore. Who cared if this was your first time? The feeling was all the same. You needed to be connected. Right fucking now.

     “Fuck, put it in,” you panted, pulling him by his neck flush against you. 

     He chuckled, giving you a soft kiss on your cheek, then your neck, then your ear. “It'll hurt, baby. Even I know you’re not ready.” You groaned as he pushed two fingers into your hole, setting a quick pace as he sensed your impatience. “I’ll give you what you want,” he sighed, “if you cum once.”

     Your eyes widened. “Seriously?” You scoffed. “You don’t want our first orgasms to be together?” You fluttered your lashes as he shook his head in disbelief. He pushed in another finger, and you tensed up a bit as he began to actually stretch you open.

     “This won’t be my first,” he whispered, scissoring his fingers against your walls as you breathed heavily against his ear, gasping out of shock and jolts of pleasure. 

     “Are you serious??”

     “Ever since Sannie mentioned us having sex, I’ve been so fucking horny,” he chuckled. “I think, like, every night, I went to the bathroom and came while thinking about you.”

     His fingers were almost forced out of you as you clenched down on them, a deep blush covering your cheeks as he glanced toward you teasingly. 

     “You like that?” he asked, curling his fingers up as he thrust them in faster and faster. Your head buried into the couch cushion as you panted and moaned, lifting your hips to meet his fingers desperately. The pleasure was building, and every time he fucked his fingers into that one spot, you thought you’d fall apart right there. When he finally figured out that perfect spot, he rammed his fingers into it repeatedly until you were gasping for air as your entire body squirmed, working toward that release. 

     “Fuck, fuck, fuck-!” you whined, “Yunho~” He kissed you gently, nibbling on your neck as he grunted softly, using all of his strength to keep his rhythm as your eyes rolled back, body trembling. The pleasure built and built until everything fucking crashed, and your nails dug into his arms as you came with a long cry. He rode out your high, stroking your walls gently before pulling his fingers out quickly. 

     “Good girl,” he sighed, kissing your forehead as you whimpered, trying to calm down. Your eyes could hardly focus on one thing, your eyes fuzzy and brain scrambled. “I’ll give you what you want,” he mumbled. “Such a good girl…”

     His cock pressed against your hole, and it pushed just slightly inside. You winced, your eyes squinting at the oddly painful stretch. I mean, you knew it would be painful, but this was a bit unnecessary, right…? 

     Yunho stopped and lifted his head with a small smile on his lips, and, as much as it felt much better to stay still than to move, you wanted to get to the part that felt good. 

     “Baby, please?” you whispered, looking from one eye to another as you fought the urge to just get on top of him and put it in yourself.

     “Did I make you feel good?” he asked, pointing to his lips. “With my mouth?”

     You nodded immediately. “Yup, it felt so good.” It did, but that didn’t fucking matter right then.

     “You tasted really good,” he mumbled. “And your mouth…” he licked his lips, “...felt so good. So wet and tight.”

     “My pussy will feel even better, baby, please.” You didn’t want to whine or beg, but this was getting ridiculous.

     “Your pussy likes me, I think,” he thought aloud. “You know it flutters when I do something it likes. I wonder what that’ll feel like when I’m inside.”

     As his hips became flush with yours, you whimpered in slight confusion, a bit uncomfortable, but mostly confused, and also so, so fucking full. He was shivering softly, but you couldn’t find yourself having such small reactions. He was enveloping you completely, filling you to the brim, and your entire body was tense and limp, weak but so hyper at the same time. 

     Your fingers grabbed his hair with one hand and gripped his shoulder with the other, your mouth agape as you brought him closer frantically. You pulled his chest to yours, his face to your neck, your leg around his hip.

     It wasn’t because it hurt at all. It just felt so inexplicably good that you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You wanted him to move so bad, but you couldn’t let him move or you'd completely lose yourself to pleasure. 

     “Yunho,” you whimpered, holding him tighter, desperately. “Yuyu, fuck… ’s so go..ood… j’s stay here… stay here, b…by, ‘s so good~”

     He could hardly understand you, but he was so glad you weren’t letting him move. He would cum right then and there. You were so tight. So tense, squeezing him like crazy. You were so warm and wet… It was clouding his mind. Even locked down like this, his hips couldn't help gently grinding against you, looking for any kind of friction. 

     He wanted to pound into you, fuck. He wanted to watch you go crazy. He hadn’t even done anything yet. Imagine what you’d look like, completely broken and fucked out, overtaken by your desire.

     “Can I kiss you, baby?” You nodded quickly, letting him lift his head so he could smash his puffy lips to yours. He untangled your limbs from his and wasted no time in slowly shifting his cock in your sopping hole. He groaned happily, rolling his eyes back as he ground inside of you in little pulses. 

     “Yuyu~” you whined. “Please, please, baby…” You kissed him hard before he could speak, desperately pushing your hips against him. “More... Fuck~” you whimpered, your fingers running through his hair as your tongues lapped and tangled together desperately.

     Finally… FINALLY, he set a rhythm, slow and trembling, as you panted against each other’s lips. He rolled his hips, his hips gently tapping yours with each slide in. He reached so far, your pussy tight around him, sending shivers throughout your bodies. You bit your lip as breathy moans escaped. 

     He cursed under his breath, whimpering as he kissed you lazily, picking up the speed of his thrusts. As your hips collided with more force, your moans matched the pace, and he basked in your pretty noises, hardly able to contain his own. 

     His hands slid along your body and squeezed your soft stomach gently, gripping you as he thrusted harder. “Everyday,” he groaned, kissing your ear. “We’ll do this every day.”

     “Okay,” you panted, your eyes rolling back with a squeak as he hit that perfect spot with a particularly hard thrust. “Mm… Yuyu… ngh~ you’re doing so good~”

     “Yeah?” he mumbled, sitting up on his legs. It was cold, but the sight of your tits bouncing, your fucked out expression… you were so ruined.

     “Yeah, baby~” you hummed.

     “I’ve wanted to fill you up for a.. hh… while now,” he grunted. “Thought about your pretty pussy taking my cock.”

     “Me too mmm~” His brows curled as he took steadying breaths. 

     “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he groaned.

     “I wan’d t-to touch you s…o bad,” you moaned, pushing your hips in the air as his pace quickened, his hands grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer. “Thought I was being bad,” you panted. “But yo…ou were being bad too, huh?” You tried to give a playful smirk, but it faded quickly. 

     He nodded eagerly, his head dropping each thrust and little noise from your lips brought him so close to cumming. He desperately brought his fingers to your clit, circling the nub until you were a moaning mess, practically screaming and gasping as he slammed his hips against yours. 

     “Cum, baby, please?” he begged, biting his lip as you fluttered around him clenching and teasing as you were getting so, so close. “Come on,” he whimpered. “Wanna f-feel you, please.. ngh~”

     Your hips were squirming, jaw dropped as the pleasure built. You could hardly see through your tears, your clit adding to the pleasure of each of his ecstatic thrusts. Fuck, you were so close… so close… fuck, it felt so good.

     “Yu-ngh yuyu ah~ baby, don’t stop,” you moaned, your eyes squeezing shut forcefully as your pleasure reached its peak for the secind time that night, your body spasming as you creamed on his cock, your juices spilling from your hole and soaking the both of you. 

     He stilled after a single thrust in your clenched, orgasm-filled hole, whimpering and moaning as his cum spilled into you. He was trembling as he kept cumming hard and long, both of you panting as you tried to calm down. Your hearts were beating, cheeks wet with overwhelmed tears. He pulled out with a shudder and collapsed beside you, pulling you to his chest as he was hit with the raw cold air.

     You were shivering, wrapped in his arms as you tried to clear your head. You were content there, your mind fuzzy and limbs trembling. You were both completely exhausted, but Yunho took the initiative to bring you both to your feet and drag your legs toward the shower. 

     He wiped you both up, laid you both down on the bed, snuggled up in your blanket, and you were both instantly asleep.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     “Y/n~ Yunho~” San whined as he trudged into your bedroom. “Jongho was being mean to me again~” 

     Your eyes were hardly opening when San was inviting himself onto the bed. But he stopped as he saw Yunho’s shirtless body wrapped around your shirtless body. He gasped, nearly falling off the bed.

     “Y/n!” he yelled, and Yunho was spooked awake, raising his head in shock with his eyes hardly open. “Did he force himself on you?! You can tell me! I’ll get him fucking killed!” He pointed at Yunho angrily, but you just rolled your eyes, snuggling back into your pillow.

     “Sannie?” Yunho mumbled, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes. “What are you doing here? Did you have a bad dream again?”

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° ~ ♡

     The van was rowdy and noisy when you and Yunho hopped in. You sat beside him with a giddy smile, holding his hand as you all rode to your hideout as usual. 

     “Aw~ they’re so cute,” Seonghwa cooed. “You guys are the ideal romance. So wholesome and perfect.” He grinned at you, and you blushed lightly.

     “Than-”

     “No, they have sex now,” Jongho interrupted. “Everyone knows that.”

[nakedwilbur]

This was not supposed to happen to him. He was the notorious “Hitchhiker thief”, the outlaw who stripped his crying victims of everything down to their dignity and left them stark naked on the deserted country road to. But now his bad deeds had caught up with, and for once he found himself in same predicament as his victims.

It had started as every other day. He had been out on one of his usual routs searching for a new victim, using one of his old classics, “The exhausted wanderer”, where he dragged himself along the road looking half dead and collapsing to the ground when a car approached. The poor guy who where dumb enough to stop to help would be met with a gun in his face and would, after the usual pleading for mercy, finding himself stark naked at the side of the road, while the guy he thought he would be saving drove of in his car with all his belongings.

When he saw the expensive sports car approach, he thought he had struck gold. As planned, he pulled his old stunt and fell to the ground, and as predicted the car stopped and he heard footsteps approaching. But this time, however, it was he got the familiar feeling of cold steel against the back of his head and a voice saying “Don’t even think about it” before he manged to pull his own gun. When he got up from the ground with his hands behind his head as instructed, he saw that another car had stopped, and he found himself surrounded and outnumber by several angry looking and armed guys. As it turned out, several of his old victims was sick and tired of the police never being able to catch their assaulter and had taken the matter in their own hands. It had taken its time, but now it was finally time for their revenge.

When the group told him to start stripping, he thought that they only planned to leave him out there naked just like he had done to them. And as he pulled of his clothes, he was already planning his own revenge, memorising the faces of the guys, the license plates of the cars, and any names he heard mentioned. But he would soon find out that they had much more in store for him that just leaving him out there naked. When he was out of his clothes, he was pushed into one of the cars, and when they drove off, he learned what a deep hole he found himself in and how radical his life was about to change.

The group had not only tracked down the country roads he operated on, but completely mapped out his whole life. They knew the old shitty rented apartment he lived in, all about the storage rooms he rented for the stolen goods, they even knew about his secret hiding spaces out in the woods where he had dug down his stolen money. As they drove off with him, the rest of the group would go to work clearing everything out. All the stolen goods and money would be handed back to their rightful owners, the lease of his apartment would be cancelled, and the lock changed. And even if he didn’t have much money in the bank they would even, through some contacts, make sure that his bank accounts got frozen indefinitely. So, when he was pushed out of the car high up in the mountains, stark naked and with at least a day’s march to the nearest town, he was literally carrying all his belongings with him.

He had always expected to get caught one day and having to spend time in jail. But with all the stolen money and goods he had hidden around, he always thought he would have something to get out to. But now everything was gone. His old grandmother, bless here, had always tried to straighten him up and always told him that bad deeds never pay. He had never listened, of course, but as he sank to the ground with shaking legs, for real this time, and felt the cold ground against his naked ass he really wished he had.

[lowfunctioningoptimist]

Being a former Schoolteacher in the Van Der Linde Gang

Prompt: {Reader as a Former Teacher in the Van Der Linde Gang}

Fem!Reader x Various

Summary: It’s no secret that the Van Der Linde Gang brought together all sorts of misfits of all sorts of backgrounds. Hosea had been a stage actor, Bill had been a soldier, and Javier was once a revolutionary. However, with all these strange yet vibrant histories, yours always made you stand out. Far to off in the eastern side of the country, you had lived a modest but respectable life as a schoolteacher. 

Note: Reader is written as being in her late twenties to early thirties. I only have Arthur, John, Dutch, Abigail, Mary-Beth, Javier, Molly, and Sean in this post. I do intend to write the others, I just didn't want this to be too long. I can also write specific imagines or romantic hcs if requested!

ARTHUR

He’s likely to be the first to develop a crush on you. Honestly.

Arthur finds you comforting. You carry yourself with a warmth and a certain air of confidence that makes him feel safe in your presence. He didn’t have much schooling, so he sometimes gets shy about talking about academic subjects. Still, you do manage to coax him into deeper conversations than just “mornin’” and “lovely day, ain’t it?”

Arthur is softer than he seems and sees more than he’s always willing to say. After cracking through the awkward small-talk phase of your friendship, you and Arthur begin to talk more on philosophy. He’s never considered himself all that smart, but you tell him that he’s insightful. Insightful? Him? It's enough to make him blush sometimes.

As he gets to know you better, Arthur starts to do small favors for you. Nothing too big. Just things like bringing back books from town or little trinkets he thought you might like. If you need help with your chores, he might just join you if Miss Grimshaw ain't around. Certain people in the gang have taken to calling him, "teacher's pet."

JOHN

He hardly paid you any mind, at first.

After you spent a few weeks with the gang, he started seeing you with Jack. Thought nothing of it, at first. Then it became a regular occurrence and despite himself, he got just a touch paranoid. You were brand new to the gang. A stranger. Why would Abigail let you near his her son? He confronted her only to find out that Abigail had asked you to teach Jack as his own private tutor. Needless to say, he felt a bit silly.

From what he can tell, you're not half-bad of a teacher. Jack's learning his numbers, writing his name, and is starting to ask for more books. While a part of him wants to be happy... it only vexes him further. Why would such an innocent civilian such as yourself be all the way out here?

John takes a while to warm up to you, but you proved to be less stuffy than you looked. You have a firm yet gentle way about you. And somehow, you can correct someone without ever making them feel stupid or simple for it.

DUTCH

He enjoys your keen mind and education, but he also resents it.

Dutch won't share with the others how he found you or how you became an outlaw. He likes to say that it's your story to tell. Really, he just like to know something no one else does. His reason for recruiting you was just as simple, he hadn't met someone like you before.

It's not everyday he meets an ex-teacher-turned-outlaw. Dutch found your situation interesting, unique. He does so like to collect outcasts. Especially one as educated and clean as you. Dutch starts to linger by you as you do your chores to initiate a playful debate. Unlike most in the gang, you disagree with some of his philosophies and have counterarguments that make him pause. That's not to say you've ever convinced him to change his mind, oh no. His pauses are more for him to steady himself so he doesn't show how bothered your resistance makes him.

As much as Dutch loves to spar with you mentally, he secretly finds offense in your obstinance. What you see as playful debate may just turn into a case against you as a traitor.

JAVIER

Now, this one may seem odd, but Javier is second most likely to develop a strong attraction for you. 

When he first saw you, it wasn’t precisely love at first sight. You were new, having joined just after Charles. Javier agreed with Bill that you wouldn’t last long. Everything about you just screamed, “civilian.” You dressed modestly, wore spectacles, spoke proper English, and seemed clueless as how to survive in the west. The only reason he didn’t outright resent you was because Dutch had been the one to bring you into the gang. 

The crush started around the same time you got more comfortable at camp. Sometimes you let your hair down, literally and figuratively, both of which he found very attractive. You have a mouth on you, and you aren’t scared of much. Seeing you stare down Bill for swearing in front of Jack was enough to prove that. He likes how tough but fair you are. How you’re educated but you’re not stuck up about it, unlike some he’s met. 

MARY-BETH

Is shy about it, but eventually goes to you for help with her writing.

Mary-Beth finds out that you both like “silly romance,” books and she starts to talk about how she writes her own. With it being so hard to find new things to read, you jump at the chance to read her work. Mary-Beth is quite shy about it, but she lets you read a few pages. Much to her surprise, you praise the work and ask for more. She starts to use you as an editor for some of her short stories. You enjoy her writing quite a lot and encourage her to keep going. 

You and Mary-Beth get on very well. You’re both bookworms and not too keen on violence for violence’s sake. Privately, you talk about what you hope your life will be like some day.

SEAN

Finds the fact that you’re an outlaw to be completely hilarious. 

As he gets more used to your presence, Sean starts to come to you with questions about the world. He does this because, as a teacher, he assumes you must know the answer to at least some of these. Questions like, “Why do we call ducks and geese different things when they look alike?” or “How’d we even decide what to name things? Did we see an orange’n on a trre an’ tink, ‘Oh now that’s an orange!’ or did we already have the color all sorted out? How’d they name colors to begin with?”

Sean will sometimes follow you around camp to ask you these questions, and the gang finds it quite funny. You’ll just be doing your chores with Sean slinking behind you as his mouth runs a mile a minute. What surprises most is that you usually at least try to give him an answer. Some folks didn’t believe you were really a teacher when you first joined… They believed you after they saw how patient you can be with Sean. 

ABIGAIL

First, she was suspicious of you. Then, she trusted you more than most.

Once Abigail was certain you weren’t going to sprint back into town to turn everyone in, she had a favor to ask. Jack was getting older and although Hosea and Dutch offered to teach him to read and write, they hadn’t the time to start. She asked you to teach him whatever you could when time allowed. You were excited to help, eager. Jack being as young as he was, took to your lessons fast. In little time, you were helping him sound out sentences and write his name. This started a new problem for Abigail, however. She never learned to read or write herself. Jack would try to show her his work, or ask her to read him a story, and she couldn’t.

Instead of shaming her, you offered to teach her how to read as well. Abigail refused at first, but relented when you said she could teach you how to sew in return. Through her, you start to feel more a part of the gang.

MOLLY

She only started to have a problem with you once she realized you weren’t some old hag.

When you first joined the gang, you were still dressing like a teacher. Your clothes were bulky and formless, hair all pulled back in a bun, and you were quiet. As you got more into the outlaw life, you started to dress a bit more like the other women. Started showing more of your personality. And more importantly, Dutch started to pull you aside more often. 

Molly can’t help but feel paranoid about you and Dutch. When she spies in on you two, all she sees is you both reading or debating. It’s not as if he’s holding your hand or whispering in your ear… but it feels wrong. Dutch talks to you about things he won’t talk to her about. Books, philosophy, world events, the strange and esoteric. It feels like you satisfy him in a way she can’t, and Molly comes unglued thinking about it. 

[9w1ft]

i need help. i’m so slow at unpacking the songs & their lyrics but you guys seem so confident that Kaylor lives. mind sharing lyrics or interpretations that you make you feel confident?

i think i speak for a lot of kaylors when i say we weren’t going into this album thinking we were all in some make or break situation, where the songs would be what decides whether or not kaylor lives. and we haven’t come out of it feeling different! so for starters, the very process of processing the songs is a bit different, i think, than the process suggested in your question.

this post got kinda long so i’m going to put it under the cut! and just a tl;dr that i am just talking about this aforementioned process. i’ve started writing out interpretations for the songs that have caught my kaylor attention but it’s taking time, so i thought id go ahead and post the other aspect of my answer in the meantime

a big part of kaylor interpretation is taking a look at what taylor and karlie were doing over the period of time that an album was written and the lead up to album rollout, and seeing if it looks like karlie knew in advance about what would be on the album, or how it would be promoted. the fundamental idea is that if taylor and karlie truly hated each other like everyone insists, that they wouldn’t go out of their way to drop hints or allow one another to drop hints.

so for example, karlie started wearing this pair of sunglasses with the product name “poet” before the name of the album (the tortured poets department) was ever known. she walked in two schiaparelli runway shows (the significance being that these days its rare for her to walk a show, and she’s never walked for schiaparelli before although she’s been to their shows in years of late), one of these schiaparelli shows was specifically alien themed, which lines up with the theming of Down Bad, and then next taylor announced the tortured poets department at the grammys wearing custom schiaparelli (i don’t think taylor’s ever worn the house before). so like, these sorts of things don’t make sense until later but they are signs we look to as a backdrop when going into an album. they are a sort of most recent indicator of the state of the union.

historically (especially post 2019 when what i call the scorched earth narrative was disseminated) people looking to disprove kaylor tend to brush off this stuff (twinning, similar theming or messaging in social media, etc) as oh it’s coincidental, but even if it’s not, any kaylor things that happen now are just because taylor is grieving and desperate for karlie and/or karlie wants notoriety because she wants… more money. but as i’ve said and as many have said for the past 5 years, it makes no sense and is such a misread of drivers for karlie and taylor. i beg people to try and put themselves in karlie’s shoes and ask themselves, would you endure all the hate for… more… money?? would you fly across the country and go to taylor’s concert two weeks post-partum, in a state of physical disrepair just to… spite her?? and have millions of people send hate at you for it..?

anyway, i know this is different than lyric analysis but it’s an integral part of kaylor analysis so i wanted to highlight it. i’d also point out that a whole bunch of people are currently analyzing her entire back catalog re: matty context clues in the same ways so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i think it’s a natural tendency for a lot of people— with kaylor though it’s outlawed.

and i want to reiterate that i think observing the time surrounding the album is a particularly worthwhile thing to do because it takes into account a more recent period of time than that of which the songs represent. i think people can get tunnel vision analyzing an album or individual songs and lose sight of the fact that we are here now after the album has been written. the lyrics are not the most recent thing!

another point i feel that needs mentioning is that with kaylor, among kaylors, we are looking at recent albums more for signs of taylor weaving a story of them that leads to them getting back together publicly. the idea that we are probably not going to get some big reveal that oh everything prior was fake! we have always been together! but rather some separate telling of events that preserves the integrity of people involved to some extent. so there are likely several layers going on when looking at songs. a mix of truth and augmented truths. songs can be useful towards meeting an end goal without telling the entire truth, while the fact that they are useful is still an indicator of the meta truth. i know this sounds a little convoluted... but thats alright im not invested in proving it to people 🙈 (nor do i think it should be provable!!)

lastly, while i am still compiling all my kaylor observations from each song, i did want to point out the obvious: that my understanding of the album (and i assume this is true for more kaylors as well) is colored by the inclusion of the song Robin. …i guess i will mince my words a little bit because i consider it a sensitive subject but basically, it’s a song about something that we would expect taylor would be singing about if they’re together in the way we understand it to be, given what we have been shown. and some of the lyrics are so specific to this… far flung idea… and such a contemporary development… that it sort of works to recontextualize any of the songs on ttpd that would otherwise feel breakuppy? because it pushes the story so far forward in matching our understanding. the hardest songs are easier to see as emblematic of the past, and the path that led us here to the present. in this way, at least for me, it makes it easier to appreciate the kaylor easter eggs going on in the songs as emblematic of kaylor, as opposed to litigating them and filing them one by one, because i truly believe taylor would not release Robin if kaylor was actually over. same goes for recurring motifs throughout the album (and midnights, and you might also include folkevermore as well) related to what robin is about. might sound weird to say but you could almost make a drinking game out of the motif, honestly, given how often she does it throughout the album.

i know the whole thing is wild. i have accepted this and im not out here to push it on people 😌 though i do leave the porch light on for people passing by. because for years now, with each new album people continue to say oh this is the kaylor breakup album, oh she’s finally over it, and then i guess they get amnesia by the time the next album comes along and kaylor themes yet again persist. and idk, to me, kaylor just being together this whole time is actually one of the least complicated outcomes.

anyways, in conclusion, apologies for not providing a song by song analysis right away 🙏 but i wanted to put out this part in the meantime. i don’t expect everyone to agree with this premise but i think it’s key to understanding how a lot of us approach this album. i hope it provides a little insight into my perspective! 🫶

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Kabru & Mithrun's Life-Changing Road Trip

.

safhkjkhf no but also fake!Kabru is entirely flat because Mithrun doesn't have depth perception...

.

Between this and the information that the team has a 1:2 ratio of guards to criminals, with the guards often appointed by their families as a melodramatic show of loyalty to the realm - which is...possibly literally true, considering the prestige of badassery; but, considering the criminals and the danger, also very possibly a polite euphemism for what amounts to a public sacrifice... I kind of ferally want to know about the dynamics of the Canaries. Are they loyal to each other, or to the cause? Are they all just under the threat of execution? Kabru expected the captain of the squad to be an aristocratic guard, them being more trustworthy than a semi-pardoned criminal ofc, but instead he's...whatever exactly Mithrun's legal status is; I've avoided some details of his backstory.

...I might have to go back and try to actually mentally distinguish these people from each other.

.

Laios Heaven is actually Kabru Hell, and vice versa. It's a very efficient system!

.

*giggles* Kabru is having a weird, upside-down day.

.

"Don't wish often" is such a threatening thing to say, honestly. Don't want. Don't try. Don't be alive, or this place will try to kill you and eat you, for it, too, wishes to live, and that is how the continuation of life works.

It's so so interesting how elves clearly have ANSWERS, answers that our party have been searching for, which would've made their whole adventure easier, and the elves just aren't telling people. To maintain their own power over other races? Probably. Because knowing about demons who'll offer you unlimited power would be a dangerous temptation to many? In fairness, probably that, too. But it sure as hell serves them first.

.

Oh yeah, this definitely reads as aristocratic youths joining the Canaries isn't per se voluntary on their families' parts. It's the elvish Suicide Squad.

.

The timeline isn't making sense. When Mithrun banished the giant mushroom, it was clearly implied that it went to where and when Team Touden were when we'd last seen them, just after their first incident with the changeling mushrooms and then the dwarvish cable car. However, now the pop-up side panels are saying that Kabru and Mithrun's week in the dungeon together is happening at the same time as Team Touden goes through their shapeshifter adventure, barometz, Golden Country, griffins... Which makes sense if one assumes the Canaries & co went into the dungeon right after Kabru first spoke to them, which does seem right in terms of those characters' plotline and personal timetables. But there was no indication, when it cut over to them, that we'd suddenly gone backwards a week in the comic's timeline; indeed, the giant walking changeling mushroom incident suggested it was a single continuity...

Is this just a continuity error? Did I miss some clarifying signifier?

.

Kabru: [tells Mithrun his own backstory back at him]

Mithrun: You left out the soap operatic relationships rooted in royal intrigue, which in turn was rooted in millennia of other royal intrigue.

Kabru: Yes, but I need it to be understandable to a man who's mostly just going to ask me how the goat-demon tast– I mean, uh... Your story structure was bad, so I simplified it.

.

Oh shit, that's the thing Marcille is studying! She doesn't know it summons demons!

...My instinct is, "if only someone told her instead of completely outlawing the knowledge, forcing her to stumble blindly into the consequences on her own!" But, uh... I'm not sure this would actually stop her. She's very determined, and also has her share of wizard hubris. This is, of course, a driving question of the story.

.

It wasn't easier to kill them? It wasn't easier to simply stop drawing magic from the infinite-power dimension?

...ok obviously not the latter, because, y'know. Fossil fuels. But seriously it wasn't easier to just kill them?

.

It's sooo intersting how everyone else views Laios's love of monsters as a dangerous moral failing, when it's really just...ecologist enthusiasm. The man thinks this class of being is Neat. He is harming literally 0 people about this. He isn't even forcing anyone to eat them, just inviting them really enthusiastically and/or pointing out that this is necessary in order to achieve their shared goal of saving Falin.

Yes, obviously this could be subverted into something terrible by an encouraging demon. Just like, obviously, a desire to protect and preserve people can be! Or a desire to live happily with your loved ones! Laios isn't worse than any other Lord of a Dungeon; y'all just hate monsters!

.

Kabru that is SO gay, jfc. I object on principle to the phrase "no heterosexual explanation", but--

.

M! V! P! M! V! P!

.

Friendship? Teamwork? Mutual respect and shared understanding of goals? Mithrun is a very useful ally because he really does Only want to stop the demon; he doesn't care about the geopolitics of it. Though his perspective is still very elvish and he definitely will kill our beloved protagonists without hesitation if they seem like they're going to be a problem.

.

I would read an entire novel about the formation of the halffoot union, honest to god. I bet it was very exciting. I bet someone tried to kill Chilchuck at least once.

[onnahu]

Isabela and Jason co-parenting Dog

So we canonically know that when Jason isn't around it's Isabela who takes care of Dog, and she does not consider her her's. She say's that Dog is Jason so that makes her Jason's dogsitter. But let's move it a step further. Let's make Dog their both.

So I've done a post already about why I think they are the best canonical ship for Jason, but the thing I love about it is how it's one of a few ships where I don't want them to have some happily ever after together for the rest of their live's things.

Because they work as an of and on relationship. They are casual. Above anything else, they're friends, and even if we were to give them actual love, I still think it would work like in canon.

And now about Dog. Jason as Red Hood especially in his Outlaw era is not home often. He's running around the world, so let's say he's on 'bussiness trips'. Isabela is a flight attendant, so she is also often out of country, sometimes for longer, sometimes for shorter. It makes them both unable of being a dog owners, but if they co-parent it's perfect.

Give me them checking their scheduels to plan who will have Dog when. Give me them screaming at each other because "you can't feed her pizza! It's bad for dogs! Now she doesn't want her normal food!". Give me them calling each other at random times when they're away because "how is she? I'll be back as fast as I can" and "she's got separation anxiety, you need to come back!"

But also them going out on a date night that one time they're both in Gotham and they desperatly search for a dogsitter.

Oh, and Essence of course. Because I'd say Isabela is now the owner of the Blood Blade kinda, because she can help by summoning Essence only with that, when she is tired and Dog needs something, Essence is the one doing it. She's kinda co-parenting too.

[ramblingoak]

The Cardinal’s Bride, Chapter 4: There’s Something About Mary

~ A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada.  Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about... ~  

~~ Please visit The Outlaw Brides Masterpost to catch up and read more stories from this world ~~

Thank you to @tasty-ribz for the wanted poster!  Lots of other amazing people have done fanart of Cowboy Copia so please go check it out: @meowsaidmissy (1 / 2), @snail-shell2335  here, @vahvco here, @ghulehgwen here, @rabidghoul here, @nocterish here and from valkyrieinpink on twitter.  Also a huge thank you to @kissingghouls for aggressively holding my hand and letting me scream at her about cowboys.

Cardinal Copia x Female Reader: au, slow burn, romance, Copia in chaps, adventure, violence, Mary being a little shit, NSFW, 18+ only MDNI, 5,400 words 

Mary didn’t like to think of themselves as a bad guy.

Living out here in the West was hard and not for everyone.  You needed to be adaptable, willing to do things you might not be comfortable with.  Mary had certainly done plenty of things they’d rather not think about, things they definitely couldn’t write home about (not that they were doing that anyway).  But living out here afforded people freedoms they wouldn’t have elsewhere in the States and if there was one thing Mary liked it was the freedom to be themselves.  Something they never had back home in Chicago, despite it being a larger city in the Midwest.  Still full of the same stuffy, ignorant people that had a chokehold on much of the rest of the country.

Mary didn’t mind getting their hands dirty every now and then.  Usually they stuck with random jobs like bringing home someone's wayward daughter (or wayward son).  Every now and then they would take a job hunting down an outlaw of some sort, those usually paid pretty well.  Mary never really worried too much about coming up against whatever idiot had pissed off the local sheriff enough to warrant hiring outside help.  There were a lot of things Mary was good at and gunslinging was definitely one of them.  It was probably the one fond memory they had of their life back in Chicago.  Mary’s father had been an avid gun collector and he had been insistent on teaching Mary how to clean, handle and shoot every one he owned.

So when it came to gunfights, Mary wasn’t worried.  They had only run across a few people that matched their skill and thankfully two of them stayed put in Nevada.  The other was easy enough to avoid, The Cardinal and his Ghouls were never shy about their whereabouts.  Mary found that their life was easier the further they stayed away from Cardinal Copia.  

Mary didn’t think Copia was a bad guy exactly, certainly not as bad as his reputation would lead you to believe.  But Mary and Copia tended to butt heads whenever they were around each other.  It’s possible this went back to Mary allegedly staying the night with a girl Copia had favored back at The Ministry.  It was also possible this had happened multiple times, but how was Mary supposed to keep track of Copia’s bedmates?  Maybe if he stuck around for more than a few weeks before running off to cause trouble he’d have an easier time keeping someone’s interest.

The only thing Mary knew Copia was interested in was revenge and it was revenge against one particular person.  That’s why Copia and his buddies ran amok throughout the West so much.  It was why they spent so much time attacking stagecoaches and trains.  For as long as Mary had known Copia they understood that the man only had one goal and that was destroying the life of who Mary was currently sitting across from.

“Mary Goore, thank you so much for coming.”  Mary glanced back at the two men by the door of the office.  The same two men that had tracked Mary down in California and insisted they attend a meeting with Saltarian.  Normally in a situation like that Mary might’ve just shot them both and moved on, but everyone knew that Saltarian had a long reach and plenty of hired guns.  Also plenty of money to hire more.  

“Well I was promised some money just to show up so it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.”  Saltarian chuckled, but Mary didn’t sense any humor behind it.

“Of course Mr. Goore, I’m a man of my word.  You’ll be compensated for your troubles.”  He continued to stare at Mary for a moment before glancing up at the men by the door and nodding his head towards them.  Mary tensed when he heard them move but they left the room quickly.  “Now, let’s get down to business.  I’m looking for a man of your talents Mr. Goore.  You have a reputation for finding wayward souls, do you not?”

“I suppose you could say that, yeah.”  Mary shifted uncomfortably in their seat as Saltarian just stared at them.  It was an assessing stare and it reminded Mary too much of how their father would look at them.

“No need to be modest, I’ve done my research.  I had to for this job offer I have.  There’s little room for error and I don’t enjoy it when people make mistakes.  Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying”  Mary took a deep breath and wished he’d shot those two goons after all.  “You gonna tell me what the job is or are you gonna wax poetic about my skills some more?”  This was the wrong guy to be a smart ass too, but Mary couldn’t help it.  They also couldn’t help but flinch when Saltarian straightened in his seat and narrowed his eyes at them.

Shit.

“You’re right Mr. Goore.  My apologies.  I’m not sure if you’ve taken the time to read any newspapers in the last month, but I recently became engaged.”  Saltarian paused then and Mary mumbled a ‘congratulations’ which the man politely nodded at.  He lifted a paper off his table and held it out so Mary could take it.  “She’s a lovely girl from a decent family, although her father’s business skills leave much to be desired.”

Mary looked down at the paper and saw a sketch of a pretty girl, a girl that definitely deserved much better than marrying a guy like Saltarian.  They looked back up as the man continued on.

“She’s from the Midwest, much like yourself, Mr. Goore.”  When Mary raised an eyebrow Saltarian just smiled.  “As I said, I’ve done my research.”

“Do you need me to escort her out here?  Or has she already run off?”  Mary flinched again and really, if there was one place Mary needed to not run their mouth in this was it.  Thankfully Saltarian seemed more amused than anything.

“I do expect you to collect her, Mr. Goore.  That much is true.  But at this point you would be too late to collect her from her home in St. Louis.”  Saltarian reached down and lifted up another paper to hold out for Mary and when they grabbed it and saw the face staring up from it Mary couldn’t stop the groan from escaping.

The Cardinal was glaring up at him from a wanted poster.  Fuck.

“Has he taken an interest in your girl?”  Mary wouldn’t put it past Copia, looking at the sketch of her face she was certainly his type.  

“Cardinal Copia has always taken an interest in my affairs Mr. Goore, this will be no different.  The man has been getting more bold in his assaults on myself and my associates.  I think it’s expected he will make an attempt at kidnapping my future bride.”  Saltarian took back the pictures when Mary passed them over.

“So then what’s the plan?  I mean, I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, but even I can’t take on The Cardinal and those Ghouls of his alone.”  Saltarian didn’t respond at first, he just stood up and made his way over to a large map on the wall.

“My men will be taking the usual route from St. Louis and I expect The Cardinal to make a move somewhere in western Missouri or when they get to Kansas.”  Mary watched as Saltarian traced a route along the map with his finger.  The man wasn’t wrong, Mary would expect Copia to make a move around there as well. 

“If I leave now I could probably intercept them when they hit Colorado.”  Mary got up to stand with Saltarian at the map.  The man wasn’t very intimidating physically but Mary kept a hand on their gun belt regardless.  

“Ah Mr. Goore, you need to think like The Cardinal for a moment.  He likes to believe he’s clever so rather than take the direct route to that casino his brother owns he’ll go south and head through Texas, New Mexico and Arizona.”

“Ok fine, but what am I supposed to do when I meet up with them?  We’re not exactly friends so he ain’t gonna be very happy to see me, especially if he’s kidnapped your girl.”  Saltarian smiled and made his way over to a small bar in the corner, pouring himself a glass of whiskey before he went back over to sit behind his desk.  Mary stayed put and leaned against the wall.  Having the door to the office at their back was not something they were comfortable with any longer.

“Once it’s decided exactly which route The Cardinal will take, my men will gather in one of the numerous abandoned mining towns that are scattered around the area and it will be your job to lead him and his Ghouls there.”  Saltarian took a sip of his whiskey and then set it back down on his desk.  Mary couldn’t help but notice it landed right on the picture of his bride.

“What about the girl?”

“I expect either The Cardinal will drag her along to the ambush or she’ll stay behind with one or two of his men.  Either way all you have to do at that point is grab her and bring her to me.” 

“Hopefully he doesn’t drag her to the ambush, I’d hate for her to get caught in some crossfire.”

“Mr. Goore I want to make one thing clear, while I’m hiring you specifically to collect my future wife, if she's between you and Cardinal Copia I expect you to take the shot.”  Mary knew they probably looked like an idiot standing there with their mouth open, but that last comment was not what they expected.

“What are you going to tell this poor girl’s parents if she ends up getting hurt?  Or worse?”  Mary pushed off from the wall and walked over to stand in front of the desk.  “Look, The Cardinal has a one track mind when it comes to you, everyone knows that, but he wouldn’t do anything to hurt an innocent girl.  Or even a not so innocent one.”

“If she ends up hurt, or worse, it will be something easy to lay at Cardinal Copia’s feet.”  Saltarian took another sip and gave Mary a smile that made their skin crawl.  “There are plenty of pretty girls in the world, Mr. Goore, I don’t plan on wasting my time mourning this one.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

The Cardinal had almost kissed you.

That was the singular thought going through your mind right now.  It had started to sink in while he and this Mary person bickered.  You weren’t sure how they knew each other yet, or if they were friends or enemies.  Really the only thing you could think about was The Cardinal’s face as he had leaned closer to yours.  

He had a surprising amount of freckles.

Ok, no you couldn’t think of those.  Or of how green his one eye was and how the white one wasn’t as frightening as you thought up close.  The black around his eyes had faded but you knew he usually reapplied it after breakfast.  Same with the black on his upper lip.  Would that have rubbed off onto yours if you had kissed each other?  

What would the kiss have been like if Mary hadn’t interrupted you?  Your parents barely touched let alone kiss so the few you’d seen shared between them were just quick pecks.  Certainly nothing like the ones you had dreamed of between you and The Cardinal.  Just thinking of some of those made your cheeks warm.

You yelped and clapped your hand over your mouth when the man you’d been thinking about suddenly squeezed your waist.  Mary had an eyebrow raised at you and you didn’t need to look up into The Cardinal’s face to know he was doing the same thing.  They seemed to be waiting for you to say something and you felt your blush deepen thinking back on what had been distracting you.

“I’m sorry, what?”  You dug your elbow back into The Cardinal’s gut when he squeezed you again.

“No need to apologize, Darlin’.  Just wanted to know your name.”  When you told Mary they smiled at you and repeated it while leaning against a tree.  “Well now that’s awfully pretty, don’t hear that one around these parts much.”

The Cardinal growled a little and you shivered when you felt it against your back.  Something about Mary was putting him on edge and honestly you felt the same.  They reminded you of some of the men that would attend business meetings with your Father at home.  Men that seemed to say one thing but mean something else.  Men that usually had an ulterior motive for everything they said and did.  Mary was definitely hiding something and you knew that if you were picking up on it The Cardinal definitely was.

Which would probably explain all the squeezing and growling.

Why did he have to touch you so much?  You tried to scoot forward a little in the saddle so your back wasn’t resting against him but his arm kept you in place.  You grabbed at his hand and tried to pry his fingers off of you but they just dug in tighter and the sensation made you squeal and push back against him even more.  It was your turn to growl but all he did was chuckle lowly in your ear.

“Well aren’t you two lovebirds precious!”  You glared at Mary, but they just tipped their hat up and grinned at you.  “Shame I wasn’t invited to the wedding.”

“There wasn’t a wedding.”  The Cardinal’s mouth was still close to your ear and you absolutely refused to feel anything other than annoyance as his breath tickled your skin.  Mary whistled a little tune and ambled over to their horse, pulling themselves up onto the saddle with ease.  They adjusted their gun belt and coat then looked back over your way, you could see the teasing glint in their eyes and you prepared yourself for another stupid comment.

“Did you have her Daddy hot on your heels?  Probably didn’t take too kindly to his daughter falling for an outlaw.”  Mary threw a wink your way, but you just glared at them in return.

“Non sono affari tuoi, Goore.”  You could feel The Cardinal getting more and more tense against your back, it seemed less and less likely these two were friends.

“Yeah I suppose you’re right, it’s none of my business.”  Mary started patting their coat pockets and eventually reached inside their coat.  It was your turn to tense when the hand around your waist quickly moved to his revolver, but you both relaxed when Mary’s hand reappeared with a cigarette and a match rather than a weapon.

“What are you doing out here?”  The Cardinal had moved his hand off of his gun and brought it to rest at your waist once more.  You bit your lip to keep yourself from making a sound as he gave you a little squeeze.  It was embarrassing how the smallest of touches from him made you feel.  What was worse is Mary’s eyes seemed to pick up every little thing The Cardinal was doing to you and every little reaction you had to them.

“Oh you know, just wandering around.  Looking for the odd job.”  The Cardinal snorted behind you and skimmed his hand back across your stomach to hold you more firmly.  He pulled on the reins with his other hand and steered Brizio back towards the prairie with Mary following not far behind. 

“Last I heard you were in California, hard to believe you ran out of things to do out there.”  It was Mary’s turn to tense up and you might have missed it if you hadn't been around The Cardinal and his Ghouls the last week or so.  You had been getting good at picking up on their body language towards each other.  “Or did you run out of people to do?”

“Aww Cardinal, are you sayin’ I’m easy?”  The Cardinal snorted again and you felt him relax a bit when Mary laughed in return.  “Well you aren’t far from the truth, mostly I was just bored.  So I wandered a bit through Nevada, then Arizona.  Was making my way through New Mexico when lucky me, I ran into you.”

“Yes, how lucky.”  Now you snorted, because the deadpan voice The Cardinal used was one you hadn’t really heard from him before.  Regardless of Mary’s motivations at least they were bringing out some new aspects of your Cardinal.  No, not your Cardinal.  The Cardinal.  Where had that thought come from?

“But seriously, how’d you crazy kids meet?  No offense, Sweet Cheeks, but you’re not exactly dressed for traveling on horseback.”  You had made your way out of the woods and back into the prairie, but The Cardinal pulled up on the reins and stopped right at the edge.  Mary stopped their horse as well, close enough you could reach out and touch them.

“What does it matter to you, Goore?”  The Cardinal had tensed up again at your back, his arm around your waist tightening. 

“Oh it doesn’t really, but last time I saw you there was a different pretty girl in your lap.”  You flinched but you couldn’t say if it was at the thought of The Cardinal holding someone else like this or at the vicious sounding Italian word that he spit out at Mary.  Unfortunately Mary didn’t seem to get the hint they should shut up so they kept prattling on, “When was that, a few months ago?  Anyway, that girl you were kissing at The Ministry was a looker, you think she still works there?”

You clenched your teeth and prayed Mary would just shut up.  The Cardinal wasn’t yours and you should not be jealous hearing about him with other women.  Of course he had been with others!  What had Sunshine said?  The Cardinal had a type.  The cities out here were probably full of the women he normally went for.  Just another reason for you to get your head out of the clouds and stop dreaming about him.

Mary must have picked up on your souring mood because they didn’t say anything for a moment, The Cardinal was silent as well.  You wished that he would just start back for camp again, you needed to put some distance between him.  Having him hold you like this was making it hard to think.  

“You pregnant, Sweet Cheeks?”

“Excuse me?”  Your indignant question was nearly drowned out by The Cardinal’s sudden laughter.  You shoved your elbow back into his gut and he groaned before muttering ‘sorry’ into your ear.  

“What?  I’m just trying to figure out how he landed a girl like you.”  Mary put his cigarette out on the handle of one of his guns and flicked it out into the grass.  You decided you’d been silent long enough during this conversation and straightened up to answer them.

“For your information The Cardinal and his Ghouls rescued me from a group of outlaws that attacked my stagecoach back in Oklahoma.  They’ve agreed to take me to my original destination.”  A small smile appeared on your face when you felt The Cardinal’s hand give you a little squeeze.

“Well, isn't that kind of him?  Damn Cardinal, you’ve sure changed your ways since I last saw you.”  Mary turned to look at you both with a devious smirk on their face, “Did you find Jesus?”

In just a few seconds The Cardinal burst into action, letting you go and reaching over to grab Mary roughly at his shoulders.  You yelped and leaned over, clinging to Brizio’s neck to try and stay out of the way.  Mary was trying to fight back, but The Cardinal had taken them by surprise and pulled them roughly off of their horse.  You could hear Mary groaning as soon as they landed on the ground.

The Cardinal straightened back up behind you and slipped both of his hands around your waist to pull you back against him.  In the next moment he had gripped Brizio’s reins and spurred the horse into action, taking off back across the prairie towards camp.  When his arm went back around your waist you couldn’t help but hold onto it with your hands, but soon you had to bring one back up to cover your mouth.

Laughter had started to bubble out of you and it wasn’t long before The Cardinal joined in.  You assumed Mary would be getting up to follow you shortly and it wasn’t long before you could hear hoofbeats getting closer behind you.  The Cardinal didn’t seem concerned, he just continued to steer Brizio closer to camp.  You were curious as to how the Ghouls would react to Mary’s presence, hopefully they got along better with Mary than The Cardinal did.

Judging by Dewdrop’s shouting as you came back to camp you were wrong.

“What in the fuck are they doing here?”

“Aww I missed you too Dewdrop.”  Mountain held an arm out and stopped the smaller man from launching at Mary.  “Sunshine, my queen!  You’re looking as beautiful as ever!”

It was Aether that stopped Sunshine, Swiss stepping in to lend a hand when she was still able to make progress towards Mary.

“Mary won’t be staying long.  Sunshine!”  She had managed to shove Swiss away and pull one of her knives out but stopped after The Cardinal shouted at her.  Mary definitely wasn’t helping things, they had gotten off their horse and started blowing kisses Sunshine’s way.  She took a few steps towards them again but The Cardinal said something in Italian causing her to growl and spin away to stalk off towards the woods, Dewdrop hot on her heels.

You felt his hands squeeze your waist briefly before he swung off of Brizio.  He took a moment to watch Mary interact with Aether before turning and holding his hands up for you to take.  You tried to be elegant about it but there wasn’t much you could do with how big your skirts were.  He moved his hands to your waist and you settled yours on his shoulders as he practically lifted you off and onto the ground next to him.

For a moment it felt like you were both in your own little world, his hands were still gently holding you and he had you boxed in between him and Brizio.  You glanced around briefly but it seemed like everyone else was preoccupied with Mary’s arrival.  When he reached a hand up to tuck some of your hair back behind your ear you couldn’t help but let your eyes drift closed for a moment.

“That was quick thinking back there, Principessa,”  You opened your eyes to look up at him and he gave you a small smile.  “I’m impressed.”

You shrugged and looked back down to the ground, “It didn’t seem like you trusted them, so I figured I shouldn’t tell them the truth.”  

“Which is what?”  He brought a hand up to your chin and gently tilted your head back up so he could meet your gaze.

“That you’ve kidnapped me and you’re holding me for ransom.”  The Cardinal chuckled briefly before letting you go and taking a step back.

“Ah yes, that.”  You saw him flex his hand briefly and he glanced back towards camp for a moment before continuing, “Be careful around Mary.  Stay close.”

“So you and Mary aren’t friends.”  He chuckled again and shook his head.

“Mary would be friends with anyone for the right price.” 

“Aww Cardinal, that hurts my feelings.”  In an instant The Cardinal had grabbed your hand and yanked you behind him.  You couldn’t help but let out a small yelp as he tightly squeezed your hand in his.

“Satan’s dick, Goore.” He made a move towards Mary but they immediately held their hands up and walked back towards camp.  When Mary was out of earshot The Cardinal turned and started to let go of your hand, but he stopped when he saw you wince.  “Ah, Principessa.  Mi dispiace, are you ok?”

You nodded but couldn’t help but wince again when he brought your hand up and held it against his chest.  “It’s ok Cardinal, I’m fine.”  Your mouth fell open when he pulled your hand up further and placed a quick kiss on the back before dropping it and nodding his head towards camp.

“Bene, let’s go get some breakfast, eh?”  He turned and started making his way towards the others, but for a moment you were frozen in place.  The feeling of his lips against your skin was still there like a brand.  You looked down at your hand almost expecting to see a mark, but there was nothing.  A whistle made you look up to see him waiting for you with a familiar smirk on his face.

The bastard knew what he was doing.

Despite Mary’s presence, breakfast was relatively uneventful.  They made small talk with Aether and Swiss but most everyone else was quiet.  The Cardinal didn’t eat much and you couldn’t bring yourself to eat much either.  Having Mary here was making you more and more nervous as the morning stretched on.  Maybe The Cardinal was rubbing off on you, but it was a feeling you couldn’t shake.

It was obvious you weren’t the only ones who were suspicious of Mary’s motives.  Dewdrop and Sunshine had wandered back over but all they had done was glare at Mary.  Sunshine had dropped another knife into your lap and you gave her a soft smile before shoving it into your pocket with the other one.  You weren’t sure you’d be able to use them if the need arose, but if she felt like you needed them you weren’t going to say no.

As breakfast wound down Mary pulled out another cigarette and you couldn’t help but sigh.  How long were they planning on sticking around?  You hated how on edge everyone was and you couldn’t help but worry that Mary was here to take you to Saltarian.  It would be near impossible for them to take down The Cardinal and his Ghouls but you didn’t want to see anyone hurt.  Even Dewdrop had grown on you a little bit despite the fact that he still growled at you if you got too close to him.

“So Sweet Cheeks, where did you say you were headed again?”  

“She didn’t.”  Mary smiled around their cigarette at The Cardinal’s response, not even looking his way and keeping their eyes on you.

“Right, right.  Well I was just thinking that I could take her wherever she’s headed.  Save you all the hassle of babysitting.”

“That’s not going to happen, Goore.”  The Cardinal stood up and stalked over to Mary before continuing, “It’s time for you to go.”

“Ok, ok.  I can tell when I’m not wanted.”  Mary flicked their cigarette into the dying fire and stood up.  “Oh and just a warning, I’d be careful if you’re heading west.”

“Oh?  Why is that?”

“Ran across some of Saltarian’s goons setting up shop in an empty mining town about an hour from here.”  You and everyone else in the camp froze at Mary’s words.  It didn’t take long for The Cardinal to burst into action though, he closed the distance between him and Mary and clenched his fists in the front of Mary’s coat.

“Stronzo!  You didn’t think this was something you should’ve shared earlier?”  Mary laughed and that just enraged The Cardinal more.  Aether and Mountain rushed over to try and separate them, but everyone else had their hands on their weapons and were staying put.

“I didn’t think it mattered!  You were the one being cagey about where you were going.”  Mary stumbled backwards as The Cardinal shoved him away.  You watched as he stood there seething over what Mary had hidden from him.  What they had hidden from all of you.  When you looked down at your hands you found they were shaking.

Was this it?  Was this where you were to be rescued and taken on to Saltarian?  You clenched your fists and took a few deep breaths to try and stay calm.  This should be something you wanted, you should want to be rescued.  To find your way safely to your future husband and away from the hands of these outlaws.

You closed your eyes and took another steadying breath and then looked back over to The Cardinal.  He had turned away from Mary, leaving Aether and Mountain to keep an eye on them.  The Cardinal was looking right at you, his mismatched eyes capturing your gaze and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.  All you could think about was how it felt when he touched you, how it felt when he had kissed your hand.  His gaze wasn’t wavering and you found yourself thinking of one more thing…

You didn’t want to go.             

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Copia had known they were heading into a trap.

It had been obvious and it pissed him off to no end.  Mary had a terrible poker face and Copia knew from the minute they had stumbled upon him in the woods it wasn’t an accident.  What Copia didn’t know yet was why Mary had led them into the trap to begin with.  It was too early for word of the ransom to get to Saltarian, to get to anyone really.  Rain and Mountain had hired someone to take the note directly to the bastard’s home in Nevada and there was no way they were there by now.

So what was Mary’s game here?  It wasn’t like them to come up with schemes like this on their own, the only thing that motivated Mary was money.  A lot of money.  Copia had spent most of the morning trying to sort out who might’ve been the one to hire Goore and whoever else had been waiting in this damned ghost town.  It wasn’t really something that mattered in the grand scheme of things, but focusing on it helped keep Copia’s mind off of you.

He shouldn’t have tried to kiss you.

He really had no excuse.  Or at least he was trying to convince himself he had no excuse.  Things had definitely felt different now that he knew you weren’t marrying Saltarian by choice.  Finding that out had motivated him to tell you of his own reasoning behind his actions.  Copia wasn’t one to open up about anything, to anyone.  Yet that night by the campfire found him telling you things he’d never shared with anyone before.       

There was just something about you he couldn’t shake.  Maybe it was how even when he knew you had been scared out of your mind you still didn’t back down.  How you hadn’t hesitated to come after him when his teasing had gone too far.  Or go after anyone else for that matter, Dewdrop was still whining about the bite you had given him.  But Copia had to be honest with himself and admit that from the moment he had met your eyes as he rode up on the stagecoach he had felt something.  

That feeling was coursing through his veins as the bullets hit the overturned wagon he was hiding behind.  He had to get out of here, he had to get his friends out of here.  Copia refused to be taken out in this shit hole because of whatever dumb fucking deal Mary had made.  He was so close to finishing what he had started years ago.  To what Saltarian had started.  This wasn’t going to be how things ended for him.

Copia looked back towards the road they came in on when he heard hoofbeats racing off and was met with the sight of Mary heading back the way they came.  Copia growled and took a moment to collect himself.  He thought back to his days in the abbey, to his days when he was an actual Cardinal.  A prayer to Lucifer started to fall from his lips as he reloaded his guns with the last of his bullets and he took a steadying breath.  He wasn’t going to let Mary take you.

He wasn’t going to let you go.

Go to Chapter 5: Copia

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[smile-files]

some important things to remember:

no president can outlaw compassion. we still have the power, the right, and the obligation to take care of each other.

people have loved you and people currently love you. and if they don't, there are still so many people who can and will love you. you are one of those people.

it can be easy to feel like giving up: on the country, on humanity, or on life altogether. until you find a definite will to live, cling onto any little thing that brings you joy. they will sustain your hope in happiness long enough for you to finally find happiness.

the world hasn't ended; therefore, it can still be saved.

the potential for generosity is as inherent to humanity as the potential for selfishness. we have seen time and time again our ability to destroy, but never let that overshadow our proven ability to nurture.

the sun is still shining. you are still breathing. you are still alive, even if you are just surviving; many of us are just surviving, or will be placed in that position soon. we are not alone: in our suffering, or in our desire to end that suffering.

it is all too easy to read your own desire to escape a bad life as a desire to end your life altogether, when it is really a desire to live a life that's happy and fulfilling. feel your desire to live a good life in every part of your body: you want to live, just not like this. you want to live. you want to live. you want to live.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #323

The results of the vote are in. The bad outcome happened. Of the people who voted, over half of them voted for the candidate who wants to exterminate LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, non-Christians, and more. They voted for the candidate who wants to see women and brown-skinned people go back to being considered "property". The voted for the candidate who wants to make this letter to you be considered "pornography", and thus outlawed, simply on the basis that I made mention of LGBTQ+ people such as myself.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to prevent the loss of life that I know will occur. Already, lots of LGBTQ+ folks are calling suicide hotlines, and it's because we all know that there's a decent chance that pretty soon, our existence is going to be outlawed altogether. There's also a non-zero chance that access to abortion will be outlawed everywhere in my country altogether - it's already illegal in some places, even for cases like rape, incest, or if carrying the pregnancy to term would kill the mother. It's absolutely senseless.

I am sterilized via tubal ligation. I chose this because I don't want to bring a child into a burning, dying world. In the place where I had it done, it's a procedure in which one's fallopian tubes get tight bands wrapped around them. The tight band cuts off the blood flow to the tube, thus killing it so that eggs can't get from the ovary to the uterus. It's generally a safe and effective procedure, but there's still a very small chance of ectopic pregnancy - where a fertilized egg implants itself somewhere other than the uterus. This can kill a person if left unattended. If this administration had it their way, I and others like me wouldn't be able to get an abortion, even in this scenario.

...Sephiroth. There are already places in my country where abortion is, effectively, outlawed. There are already people with uteruses dying because of it. If this becomes the law everywhere, so many more people are going to die. I don't know what I can do to prevent this kind of loss of life. The only thing I can think to do is get out of here before things get even weirder and scarier than they are already. So M, J, and I are looking to immigrate to the country that is north of us. That place is called Canada. And... I don't know if they'll take us. But the odds of them taking us are not zero, since we all count as skilled workers. We have to try.

...The process of immigrating is very convoluted, though. I've been having difficulty trying to sift through the information and ascertain in which order I'm supposed to do the steps in. It seems very unclear.

...Or maybe it's not unclear, and I am just panicking. I've wanted to scream and cry and throw up all day, for all the lives I know are going to be lost over the next 4+ years, and for all the absolutely nothing I'll be able to do about it. Either way, I did email some Canadian immigration lawyer place, and I'm hoping they'll outline the steps I need to follow, and in what order I'm supposed to follow them. M is going to get a new passport; he has an appointment to get that taken care of tomorrow.

I also got a terabyte drive in which to put all the letters I've already written to you; I suspect in the coming months, some of my letters to you will be considered "pornography" and censored, due to the fact that I mention LGBTQ+ and polyamory stuff in them. I don't want the things I've written to you to disappear, so... I'll put them where I can't lose them.

...I've already done as much about immigration and backing up my work as I could today. So then I started cooking, because... I didn't know what else to do.

I started by putting potatoes on a baking sheet covered in parchment paper:

...And then I put a whole lamb leg on 'em!!

From here, I got out all my seasonings that I wanted...

...And with these, I seasoned the lamb!!!!

Then, you put a tinfoil tent over it!!! Which... I guess I somehow managed to neglect to take a picture of. But I'll do ya one better and show you a page that has a little video of how to make one!

From here, I stuck it in the oven at 325 degrees F (or 162.8 degrees C) for around 4 and a half hours. The idea was to steam the lamb leg in its own juices along with the potatoes until it's tender enough to be pulled off the bone with a fork!

In the meantime, I worked on the pumpkin soup. First, I sliced up an onion and put it in my handy-dandy veggie chopper!!!

I then chopped them up a little to reduce the space they take up a little. And I added 4 garlic cloves, after cutting them in half...

(...I know, I know – only 4? Who am I, and what have I done with myself??? Hahaha...)

From here, you turn them into a puree...

...And then you fry it in a pan with butter! It'll look like this at first...

...But then, after a while, it'll look like this; make sure you cook it on a medium-low heat and stir it continually so it doesn't burn!!

To this, I added that pumpkin puree we made earlier in the week, and also a jar and a half of my famous (it's not really famous, haha!) bone broth:

Do you remember the last time I made pumpkin soup for you? I made that one into more of a savory concoction, I think. This time, I wanted to try for something sweeter – something that tastes almost like pumpkin pie. So... I added some cream...

...And then I added these things!!!

...I basically kept adding and rebalancing these things until I tasted the soup and thought, “yes – this is pretty much pumpkin pie now.”

...It was absolutely fucking DELICIOUS.

But I had to set it aside; the lamb wasn't nearly done. I floundered around for a long time. And then M surprised me by getting a bag of cookies!!! Behold!!!

In my area, you will not find better packaged chocolate chip cookies ANYWHERE. They are crispy on the outside, and soft and gooey on the inside. They're not too sweet, and the dough itself is good even without the chocolate chips.

Just look how pliable it is!!!

...And look at that texture!!!!

...Isn't t beautiful...??? And lemme tell ya, they taste just as good as they look!!! I... probably ate far too many of these today, haha... It's a wonder my guts didn't feel icky afterwards...

I sauteed some mixed mushrooms. I like to combine shiitake with maitake and portobello. Lion's mane is a wonderful and flavorful choice, too, but... last time I went to the grocery to look for them, the ones that were available were kinda... brown and goopy-looking (blecch...), so I didn't get any.

The lamb was done by the time these finished sauteeing:

...And it was not fork-tender. No... it was so tender that you could pull it a part with your freaking fingers:

Absolutely fucking delectable.

...Want some...?

...Here, have a bowl of soup, too:

...I wish I could give you these things. But it's about to get dangerous where I live, so... I'm glad you're not here. I wish instead I could somehow just “zoop” it right over to you. Like, just snap my fingers, easy peasy, and BOOM, it's right where you're at, so you can enjoy it, too...

...It'd be nicer if somehow we of my house and all my cats could just “zoop” on over to where you are. And then we'd be safe, and maybe you wouldn't hafta be lonely. I could legit make you all the freaking pumpkin soup you could possibly want, and... it wouldn't be some fucked-up, fake-ass dream shown to you by some weird fucken entity tryna get you to lower your guard so it can fucking use for for goodness-knows-what. I'd just make you pumpkin soup because I wanna see the smile on your face when you taste it and realize just how wholesome and good and real it is...

...I wish I didn't feel so powerless and afraid all the time.

...Hey. So... I don't know for how long I'll be able to post up the letters I write to you publicly. But... I will keep writing them to you, at least on my laptop. And if I don't have any laptop, then I'll write them on paper. And if I don't have any paper or pen... then I'll write them in my head. I'll keep writing them until there isn't any breath left in this weird, clunky body of mine, okay? So... keep your ears open, if you can; I understand that those ears of yours are very keen.

And please. Please try hard – really hard – to make good use of my voice while it's still here. And if the shit really hits the fan and I end up being yoinked from my current meat-mech prematurely... count on me to try to figure out a way to get myself to where you are, as impossible as that probably sounds; no matter what happens, you're not alone. You're not alone, just like when I was 13, you showed me that I'm not alone.

Know it in your bones, okay? Know it so hard that you work tirelessly towards that normal life you wanted. Know it so hard that you have all the courage you need to make kind and compassionate choices.

I love you so much, and that's never going to change, no matter what's done to me and no matter what form my being takes. I'll do my utmost to let this love inspire me to do everything I can to get through whatever's coming up next, and to help others do the same in whatever small ways I can. Watch over me and lend me a bit of your determination and strength, okay...? Unless you don't wanna, or unless you can't. I know it's impossible anyways. And that's perfectly okay, too; I'll figure something out.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[rfxiii]

General Michael Headcanons-

(Michael came in second for the hc poll, but he’s my babygirl and I love him so I wanted to do a few for him too)

Didn’t really know how to do laundry, cook, clean, or take care of himself in general until he got married to Amanda. She’s not exactly the best at things like that, but she’s far more responsible than Michael could ever be. He only really started having to do things on his own once they moved to Los Santos and things became more strained between them, as she stopped doing his laundry or cleaning up after him out of spite.

Lost his virginity at fifteen to a girl he’s still kind of convinced could have been his “true love”. In reality, they only dated for, like, three months and broke up two weeks after they hooked up. But he’s sentimental and lives in this daydream/movie-like headspace so he remembers it far more fondly and romantically than it was.

He genuinely does feel guilt about things he’s done, but it’s nearly impossible to get a genuine apology out of him. Apologizing means admitting he was wrong, and that’s normally too much for his ego to take. He’ll give half assed “sorry’s” or say something deflective, like, “I guess I’m just an asshole.” But getting him to honestly say “I was wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you or upset you. I’m sorry” is such a rare occurrence.

Used to play old school “outlaw” country music to gear up in the car before a score. Brad and Trevor hated it, but Michael was usually the driver and he always insisted that the driver gets music privileges.

He’d share girls he was hooking up with with Trevor; and Brad, but not as frequently.

He grew to love Amanda, but he didn’t love her when he asked her to marry him. They hooked up, she got pregnant, and his old fashioned, Midwest values inclined him to “do the right thing” and marry her to “take care of her ''. Their relationship at the beginning of their marriage was similar to how it is at the beginning of the main story- strained, angry, and full of resentment. It wasn’t until Tracey was born and Michael saw how good of a mother Amanda was to their daughter that he truly started to love her.

He conditioned himself to be “afraid” of Trevor. In reality, it’s pretty much canon that Trevor would never actually hurt or kill Michael. But to rationalize setting Trev and Brad up to be killed, Michael kept telling himself that Trevor would kill him and his family, and that T and B were both too dangerous, until he finally genuinely convinced himself it was the truth.

He knew Trevor was planning on leaving him to work solely with Brad. He also knows Trevor well enough to know he’d have come back; whether it be because he missed him, he got bored of Brad, killed him, or Brad got himself killed. Michael knew it wouldn’t last and Trevor would show up on his doorstep again at some point.

Michael feels bad for Wade, and to an extent, Ron too. He knows how Trevor can be- manipulating people and making them need him so they won’t leave. Ron irritates him with his smart mouth and how he tries to talk shit to him. But Wade is so young- close to Jimmy and Tracey’s age; and he’s honestly made a little sick by the thought of the things Trevor had probably gotten Wade into.

He has his mother’s old christening rosary in a box at the bottom of his closet. Even though he didn’t have a good relationship with either of his parents, he’s hung on to it for sentimental value and as a reminder of where he came from.

Used to really like Dave when they first met. Dave is older, offered him a new life, and helped his family; and Michael is constantly looking for an older male figure to look up to (see: Solomon Richards). He likes him much less now after the main storyline events and realizing how corrupt, self serving, and smug Dave can be though.

[transthadymacdermot]

CHARACTER INTRO: JOHN THOMPSONS

John Thompsons is notorious among the population of the Commonwealth for two things: his contributions to society's understanding of nuclear physics, and the fact that he shoved his way to the front of the line to be the first to sign the king's death warrant after the republican military coup which started the Civil War. Today he lives under house arrest in the palace, imprisoned by the monarchy which took over again after the war ended, unable to leave without permission, kept alive mostly for his intimate knowledge of the complex ancient technology which keeps the palace running. But of course he schemes for more. Wouldn't you?

Country of origin: Conriston, a northern member of the Commonwealth loosely based on a combination of eighteenth century Scotland and Puritan Massachusetts

Religion: Hugoist, meaning an adherent of a semi-illegal religious sect started in the year 650 AH by a man called Oliver Hugo. While the Commonwealth's official religion, called Puritanism, argues that the prophet recognised as a god by the powerful Marian Church (which dominates many of the Commonwealth's rivals) was not divine but merely a great human teacher, Hugoism goes a step further and identifies this prophet as an antichrist-like figure of evil who one must constantly guard against the doctrines of with constant prayer, tight-knit communities, persecuting Marians and Puritans, starting decades long civil wars with the aim of killing every heretic within the Commonwealth for good, and so on.

Occupation: pamphleteer, engineer, regicide

Location: unwillingly, the royal court of His Most Godly Majesty King Charles James IV of the Commonwealth of Harnsey and Conriston, Lord of Hieburne, and Defender of the Faith

Personality: notably deeply unpleasant and argumentative. Thompsons never let someone being his nominal friend get in the way of ruining their entire week just because he was in a bad mood when they drank the last energy drink and as a result of spending his entire life since the end of the Civil War (~5 years before the story starts) with the threat of execution hanging over his head he fears neither death nor man, with disastrous results for nearly every single other member of the royal court. At least he seems ruthlessly devoted to his beliefs -- but of course, given their nature, this too could have similarly negative effects for the aristocracy everywhere.

Some info on how Real History influenced his character under the cut

Obviously most prominently he's this universe's equivalent of one of the regicides of Charles I. His role in the Civil War was closer however to that of the Levellers -- he's like a cross between John Lilburne in that he got his foot in the door of politics when he intentionally got himself arrested for distributing outlawed pamphlets + Richard Overton in that his favourite thing ever in the world is writing mean pamphlets AND ALSO not a chance in hell did he ever get anywhere near a battlefield. He wasn't close friends with the Cromwell/Fairfax/Ireton/any other people like that equivalents but he looooves to pretend like he was and who's going to contradict him?

Secondly his role in the story is kind of like... a slightly mangled combination of Titus Oates and Israel Tonge. Like both of them he's kind of disturbingly anti-Catholic Church equivalent but he didn't get ordained as a priest to infiltrate the jesuits like Oates did in real life and, tbh, he's quite a bit more clever with his scheming than Oates was. Additionally, he kickstarts the plot when he accuses Talbott of murdering the king's advisor Lord Ewan for the Marian church (Lord Ewan having really taken an unfortunate but ultimately accidental tumble down the stairs while both of them were drunk) much like Oates and Tonge fabricated the Popish Plot in real life, but in FFAS 1. it's just him; 2. he directly accuses the rough Tyrconnell equivalent + sends him to prison for a month rather than accusing just a bunch of random people and indirectly kind of harming Tyrconnell as in real life; & 3. due to the compression of events in the story this directly leads to everything else that happens within a few months, when the Popish Plot happened nearly a decade before William III was even asked to come over to England. Additionally, no matter what other courtiers may think, he's 100% mentally sound, if unpredictable, and fully understands the implications of what he's doing. Whether or not this is true of Oates and Tonge is... disputed. Also Oates and Tonge were not, that I know of, Levellers who were personal acquaintances of Oliver Cromwell. They weren't threatening enough so I gave them an upgrade etc

[twistedminutia]

Also, i wonder how different the zombies is in Twst are, especially for horror. Cuz, with their belief in a afterlife, I wonder if they think good or bad, like do they think that they are an unwilling host of a body? Or are just summons for powerful wizards.

While, the zombies are portrayed to be shambling corpses made by virus, or fungi. Whether going slow or fast. Or if they are any variation like the Cordyceps zombies in Last of Us or a smiling Virus. Or any zombie movies, just to see the corpse (representation of the dead eating the living).

Tho, I'm not sure if Gray is a fan of horror. But man do I want to see how different zombies are and the culture shock.

Zombies are a particularly fascinating concept here. I’m going to say that zombie portrayals are actually not super different from our zombie portrayals in a lot of ways, except for a slight bent of ‘and this COULD happen’ in some cases. I have long thoughts, so this is going under a cut!

Zombies in twst (at least in my headcanon) come in three main flavors: zombies created entirely by magic (either intentionally or accidentally), zombies created both by magic and science, and zombies created by ‘pure’ science.

Zombies created by ‘pure’ science are the most like zombie movies in our world. They’re created by some kind of mutant virus, or fungus, or environmental contaminant of some kind. It’s not realistic, but in the world of the movie, there’s no magic involved in their creation. The only way magic factors into the plot is if there are mage characters fighting off the zombies using magic. (If you watch one of these movies with Idia, he’ll give you a running list of science facts they got wrong!)

Zombies created by both magic and science are relatively common in the modern day- think, like, a scientist is trying to cure a disease with magic and accidentally mutates it into a zombie virus. They’re still caused by some kind of mundane phenomena, but the scientific impossibility is being handwaved by magic. It’s also used a lot to make the zombies ‘immune’ to magic, so mages in the cast have to deal with their combat spells being generally ineffective. They’re probably the most popular kind of zombie in modern twst media.

Zombies created purely by magic are considered more ‘classic’ zombies in the twst world. The first zombie stories are of mages raising massive armies of undead to fight, and some of the modern zombie classics involve the hubris of man, with mages trying to raise loved ones and stop death only to find they’ve created an undead apocalypse.

Magic zombies tend to also have morals tied to them about the dangers of necromancy. It exists as a potential branch of magic in Twisted Wonderland, but it’s forbidden to practice magic on corpses outside of specific circumstances (like preparation for a funeral) and raising people from the dead is somewhere between forbidden and impossible.

Necromancy exists in two ‘branches’ in Twisted Wonderland. The first branch is just using corpses as semi-autonomous familiars. This is outlawed in the vast majority of countries in Twisted Wonderland as corpse desecration on top of penalties for using forbidden magic. Using corpses is pretty unpopular anyway- dead bodies have a lot of disease risk, especially those who've started rotting, skeletons need magical supports to hold their bones together, and using dead bodies has pretty much no advantages over just enchanting an object. Except in one circumstance: War! If your enemies (and hey, even your allies) aren't going to be using their dead bodies anymore, might as well pick them up and put them to good use fighting for you!

(This has the significant and severe disadvantage of creating a lot of blot, but if you think you can overpower your enemies fast enough, then it could work.)

The second branch is the somewhat more forbidden branch of trying to bring someone back from the dead. It's primarily forbidden, not because there's any real objection to actually bringing someone back to life, but because it doesn't work and can sometimes create something really awful in the process.

As far as anyone knows, necromancy is, ironically, a dead branch of magic. No one has ever successfully revived anyone from the dead. There are stories where necromancy sort of works- they summon the spirit of their departed, forcing them to linger in the living world as a sort of half-alive shade, they trap their soul in an inanimate object- but no one has ever confirmed if those are real, and there aren't any legends about a person actually managing to bring a soul back to the body it departed from and keeping it there. There are a lot of legends about people trying to bring their loved ones back and it going horribly, horribly wrong, though. In the best stories, they die. In the worst? All kind of things, from mass death and destruction to a major overblot. That's part of the reason necromancy is banned, despite it not really working. People kept trying it, burning themselves out on the magic required, and overblotting.

Funnily enough, Ortho is probably the closest thing anyone has to somebody actually being brought back from the dead. He's not a living person, technically, but he's got the memories and personality of his dead counterpart, and he's autonomous and has his own free will as of the end of Book 6.

(Ghosts possessing dead people zombies are also possible in twst, but those don't happen in real life very often, and are considered ghost movies not zombie movies when the trope shows up in horror media.)

This was a lot of rambling and I think I got significantly off topic. In terms of horror movies, zombies occupy a similar niche. A zombie apocalypse really couldn't happen in Twisted Wonderland due to logistical reasons, but magic gets incorporated into zombie myths and movies in fun ways. Uh. I hope this was helpful. And comprehensible.

[jh-7]

HRT is awesome and I simply can’t understand why anyone would ever want to take it away. These government people will go and outlaw something that has been proven to lead to a %70+ decrease in suicide rates and still have the gall to claim they care about “the children”.

They’re murdering the children.

But I seriously don’t get why anyone could look at this stuff and think it’s bad. Tomorrow marks my 1-month on androgen blockers (the pharmacy had a shortage and I started estrogen a few days later), and I’ve already seen such a remarkable improvement in quality of life. A lot of little things. The first thing I noticed was it got rid of those little lines on the side of my face. I hated those lines, they made me feel so ugly, and now they’re gone. And that was just in one week! My skin is softer now. My breasts may not be much bigger but they are now decidedly breasts. I don’t think there’s any way I can describe the elation of going from having two lumps of fat cells on your chest to having two lumps of specialized fat cells. That feminine redistribution of body fat thing is amazing! Slowly but surely my body is shifting pieces to where I want them and it is wonderful.

I cannot begin to tell you the miracle of being able to look at a part of my body and like it. It was incredible the first time it happened when I grew out my hair. It continues to be earth-shatteringly wonderful every time my body shifts, every time I look at or feel a certain body part for the first time in a while and instead of disgust I feel elation.

I’ve been on a lot of psychiatric meds in my time and while they’ve helped, the pill that seems to have landed the biggest lasting blow against my depression is that little blue pill I take twice a day with food.The fact that these wonderful, magical, fairly simple medicines with the potential to save millions of lives worldwide are being regulated, that their are people out there who want to get rid of them, it’s inconceivable to me. There are still studies being done about the quality of life increase of transitioning because some idiots refused to look at the first dozen but just looking at my self as an example, just one person on one side of the spectrum, looking and seeing this amazing, life changing thing, and learning there are people trying to outlaw it? My heart burns.

This is one of the greatest things in my life and the fact that these monsters want to take that experience away from so many, I am furious. Please think of the children. Think of the wonder, the joy, think of how amazing this could be for them. Think about tens of thousands of children in my country alone and think about saving them. Think about doing everything in your power to give these kids the wonderful life they deserve. Think of the children.

[byizoyas]

© byizoyas.

❃ APRILLUC 2023. DAY 08 — exiled/outlaw | snezhnayan!reader

event masterlist

cw: mentions of blood and depictions of violence

you’ve never been quite fond of your own country. the nation was slowly becoming something cold and completely different from what you once knew.

war wasn’t your cup of tea, which is why you distanced yourself from the city people that were going as crazy as the fatui officers.

you knew some of them, and you had to admit it did hurt when they chose to join the cause and leave you behind despite your warnings that you wouldn’t ever give them of your news.

but life is what it is you used to repeat yourself.

today was particularly cold. deadly even. you only opened the front door to your house to take some fresh air that your whole body shook.

snezhnaya was a cold country. snow, icy wind, frozen lakes were the landscapes you’ve always seen. and as much as you dreamed to see something else, you couldn’t afford the trip out of here. you also didn’t dare to, after hearing how hated was your people out here.

perhaps you’d be in danger, so you chose to stay here despite being alone in a scenery you weren’t super keen on.

you sighed. come to think of it, one of your friends once suggested you’d leave before the crazy would go too crazy. but you were too scared to actually take that step and he left without you.

you drank some hot tea that warmed up your body, enjoying the liyuean flavors. perhaps you should’ve been born there you thought but quickly chuckled to this idea. you were a snezhnayan, you were proud of it despite your disagreement with the government choices.

a few days ago, when you went to town to buy food and spices, you’ve come across multiple posters sticked on the walls. a man was researched by the fatui. a mass murderer they said. funny they were acting innocent when rumor had it in town that the fatui harbingers were about to go for a gnosis hunt, which would probably make them the bad guys again.

it was only a rumor for now, but still; they even found a newest member to join the cause. the eleventh harbinger, meaning the project was starting to get serious. they were really about to hunt down archons. yet they felt threatened by a stranger ? a simple man scared them that much ?

you asked yourself who was that person declared number one enemy of the nation.

and as if the gods heard your call, a man appeared in your sight. he was far away and didn’t see you, yet your house was the only one in the area. you indeed lived in the forest to not hang out with these people you despised.

the man fell on the ground, laying in the snow. you immediately dropped your cup to run to his help.

you didn’t know that man, never seen his face of your life even though you couldn’t really tell because it was full of blood and judging by the multiple wounds on his shaking body, it was his own.

‘hey ! are you alive ?’ you asked, shaking his arm gently but he groaned. you probably did hurt him as you touched his severely wounded body, but you didn’t have a choice. you had to bring him into your house to heal him. you weren’t covered up as much as you should. your lips quickly turned purple, and your body shook. not as much as the hurt man’s that was in your arms but still enough for you to feel uncomfortable.

it got hard to carry him on your shoulders and since he was in a subconscious state he couldn’t really help.

‘damn.’ you cursed again and again as if it was going to give you enough strength to manage carrying that heavy man by yourself.

you looked around, you wanted to scream for help but no one could hear you and you would only attract attention on you. you didn’t know who hurt this man and if they were still around, you’d rather not want them to know you were helping their victim.

someone suddenly appeared, not far away from you. they had been hiding behind a tree and you didn’t know what her they’ve seen the whole scene or only just arrived. but just in case, you lowered yourself in order to not get caught, yet the person ran over to you.

‘shit’ you had no escape. you were stuck under the weight of the hurting man’s body and your house was only a few meters away from you.

you had nowhere to hide and thought it was the end, but when the stranger arrived, they immediately helped with carrying the red haired man.

you couldn’t tell whether it was a man or a woman as they were hiding under a fatui mask and a hood. their outfit was fully black and you hoped they were good at hiding because black was easily spotted in a fully snowy area.

they stopped at the front door, leaving him to you.

‘they’re coming. take him inside and heal him. i will be back in a few days. do not tell anyone you’ve seen him or me.’

and just like that they were gone. few minutes ago you were enjoying hot tea on your house, peacefully staring at the landscape in front of you, and now you felt in danger.

you couldn’t tell what they meant by ‘they’re coming’ but easily deduced it had something to do with the fatui.

even though you didn’t know their name nor who they were, you still did as they told, helping the man laying down on your bed.

you closed the curtains, making the room fully dark and at least he could get some rest, being in a warmer place you thought.

just as you closed the door, did you hear horses running around. you took a long deep breath, casually walking towards the kitchen to clean the pieces of your cup that were resting on the ground.

thousands of it. you sighed.

‘open the door.’ someone commanded while knocking on your front door.

these men were dangerous so of course you obeyed immediately, heading towards them, opening the door to hear their interrogation. you did your best to not look suspicious and you were actually better at it than you thought you would.

two big fatui agents were standing in front of you. one had a hammer in hand and the other had his arms crossed against his chests. you always thought they looked intimidating but it was more intense now that they stood right before you. you were half their size, making it hard for you to impose yourself as you were looking up to them.

‘have you seen a man coming from a foreign country recently ? we believe he has hurt many of our co citizens and the harbingers are after him.’

you denied his request, and he raised his voice. but you were not scared and did not obey their orders. you wouldn’t let that man into their hands. not after they’ve been acting so menacingly towards you. you didn’t know whether the stranger was truly a mass murderer or not, but you knew you weren’t and yet they were still treating you with disrespect and aggressiveness.

you, one of their co citizens. if they truly cared about such things, then they wouldn’t act like this around you.

‘alright calm down [[ name]]’ someone giggled from behind the two big men.

that voice.

you knew that voice even thought it had changed a bit; getting lower. that friend that once suggested you’d leave the country, that friend you regretted everyday to not have left with him was standing in front of you. his smile was the same but his eyes had lost something.

‘ajax.’

‘y/n.’

you couldn’t believe your eyes. he was wearing a mask, symbol of the fatui, on the left side of his head. he was much taller than the last time you’ve seen him. he was just a child back then, you were thirteen and he was one year older. many years had passed but you never forgot.

you would never forget.

‘you got nothing to say y/n ?’ he asked, a playful smile on his lips. that nice kid you once knew had now become a man.

‘are you the- you can’t be ?’ you were genuinely surprised and couldn’t find the right words. you had so many things to say, so many questions to ask. but he was a busy man now and had no time to give you.

‘we are after a man y/n. a violent, cruel, mass murderer. red hair. red coat. delusion. have you seen him ?’ a smile was always on his lips as he spoke. and his gaze seemed soft but his aura was threatening and scaring the hell out of you.

you never once lied to your friend. but could you still consider him such thing ? you thought he left but he was in the same country as you all this time and never gave you any news.

‘i didn’t.’ you affirmed. you lied to him for the first time ever, and you did it looking into his deadly eyes.

‘is that so.’ he replied, his smile slowly fading away. ‘surely you will cooperate and warn us if you do see him. will you ?’

the smile was back on his face yet the atmosphere still felt tensed around you. a few shiver ran down your spine, but you kept your head high, not breaking the eye contact. not once. ‘i surely will.’ you replied.

you didn’t believe a single word you just said but you knew you didn’t stand a choice.

‘alright then. have a lovely day.’ he looked away turning around to leave that place. he didn’t believe you that’s for sure, but you couldn’t blame it on yourself, he just knew you too much.

you closed the door and rushed into your room with medicines and bandages. the stranger’s skin was burning, sweat all over his face mixed with the blood that had dried by now. his eyes were open now. red eyes, deadly gaze as he glared at you.

‘are you okay ? i’m going to heal your wounds now, it might hurt.’ you gently spoke to him, cutting off the sleeve of his red leathered jacket to avoid moving his body. his right arm had been severely hurt.

you started to apply some alcohol on the wounds to disinfect them, making diluc’s face frown. it surely wasn’t pleasant at all but you had to; otherwise he’d suffer longer and the pain could get worse.

diluc freed his arm from your grip, bringing it to his side and trying to get up from your bed, miserably failing but desperately kept on trying. ‘i don’t want help from a fatui’ he said, looking back at you with very much despise on his face.

you sighed. you never thought you’d once get called a fatui by anyone and glared back at him the same way before pulling on his shirt to make him lay back down.

‘me being a snezhnayan doesn’t mean i’m a fatui. now hold still.’ you weren’t going to let him go. not after you betrayed your nation lying to both your friend and a government representative.

‘diluc.’ he mumbled.

‘diluc ? is it your name ?’ you asked.

he looked away from you, eyeing the four corners of your room. ‘yeah.’

‘alright.’ you said. visibly he had calmed himself down if he was even ready to give you his name. perhaps he finally trusted you. it was hard to believe but well, at least you could now refer to him as something other than ‘the stranger’ or ‘the outlaw’

you finished cleaning and heading his arm. ‘are you hurt anywhere else ?’ you asked.

diluc’s entire body was covered in blood so you were pretty sure he did have other wounds. to that he only took off his shirt. he was half naked, blood dripping down his muscular back.

he had been hurt right under his nape, judging by the size of it, he got stabbed in the back. ‘cowards.’ you mumbled to yourself but didn’t care to repeat when diluc asked you to.

you sure shared the same hatred towards the fatui, but you couldn’t allow yourself telling him about it.

‘what’s yours ?’ he asked after a little moment of silence.

‘mh?’

‘your name ?’ he asked.

you didn’t intend on telling him at first. you preferred to not give any information to him. but since he was the one in danger and still decided to tell you his, you decided to do tell him too.

he kept on looking around the room until his eyes spotted a glowing turquoise light.

an anemo vision was resting on your desk, that reminded him of his home. he came from the nation praising the god of wind after all. but after he left, he had lost faith in pretty much everything actually.

‘you’re a vision holder.’ he stated, looking back at you who was still healing him. you were focused on stopping his bleeding but still looked at him from time to time.

‘i am. are you jealous ? do you want it ?’ you asked. diluc indeed wore no vision on himself, so you deduced he didn’t have one.

‘i have one. at home.’

you looked back at your own vision before asking whether it was the same or not and he told you his was pyro.

you understood better the burning scars he has on some parts of his body. the scars seemed old and you asked yourself what they were.

‘why did you leave your home to come here ?’

‘to find myself.’

his answer surprised you. that man was confident; he seemed strong. at least he was strong enough to manage escaping from the fatui.

so how could he not know who he was already ?

‘and did you find yourself ?’ you only found to ask. which made him chuckle. ‘i don’t know. but i found what i’m not.’

‘and what are you not then ?’

he took some time to think of the words to say.

‘free.’

the pain in his voice was obvious. that man had been through a lot, you could tell. you ended up thinking the rumors were true and that he was actually the fatui slayer the harbingers were looking after.

you didn’t know why he would have such a hate towards them that made him kill them but you knew most of the fatui weren’t good people. or perhaps they were; but their intentions were definitely not.

it took some time for you to fully heal every part of his body that’s been hurt. he was lucky to find you; otherwise he might’ve died in the snowy landscape you were admiring earlier.

you invited him to rest to your place for a little longer. the harbingers were after him and well, after he told you he was from mondstadt you broke all his hopes telling him you lived far from it as you were closer to the hydro nation.

‘alright then, i guess i’ll stay a little longer’ he told you. his gaze softened. much more than the first time he laid his eyes on you that’s for sure. you felt your heart beat faster whenever he thanked you for your help.

the soft and gentle part of him was sincerely attracting you. you wanted to know more of him, you needed to.

would a few days be enough for you to get all the answers to the questions you had to ask him ? you didn’t know but you were going to take care of him as much as you could during these days.

you felt lonely for a while and now that you had someone home, you didn’t feel like letting him go yet.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/731535622144180224/very-confused-as-to-why-the-government-should-for

Hey I don't really appreciate being assumed to be someone who "Seems like anon hasn’t read up on treatment of indigenous peoples here or much of anywhere else, yeah."

I am not from the US, and I was just incredibly baffled by your way of doing this. I'm actually very aware of the national indigenous group here where I live, their history of oppression, their fight to get their rights, and the suffering they went through. It was an important part of my history education pertaining the country I live in.

The original ask was specifically aimed at US indigenous people though, and the strange method of cataloguing them, and I'm not particularly familiar with the specific politics surrounding how it works. I am aware of some of the American Natives history, but as someone who does not have direct connection points it's still not accessible.

The thing is that here where I live, to my knowledge it's been a while since I read up on this, it's not the Government that keeps a records of the indigenous people but the indigenous people themselves, and from what I remember they are the only ones who have access to this information. They experienced much of the assimilation, attempt at destruction of their way of life, culture, language, and the forceful taking away their children, through outlawing of their culture, and laws which treated them worse even in their own home lands within the country. Including taking away sources of food, and making them dependent on shops, encouraging the buying of alcohol. They still experience open and harsh discrimination, even being a protected group.

I myself am also part of a protected ethnicity (one parent) in my homeland, because of history of various discriminations and assimilation and forceful takeover of the land where my ancestors lived in this country. We also have ethnicity specific schools where the culture, language and beliefs are taught to children because of said protection and as an attempt at preventing the extinction of this ethnicity-group and our culture. This protection is also in place because some extreme rightwing politicians want to "kick out" anyone of this ethnicity group because "the land should belong to the majority", despite "us" having lived there centuries before the modern country lines were drawn. Though since I live abroad I never was able to connect much, I still know some of the culture and stories of my heritage.

So I not some dumb dumb who's never read up, learnt, or even experienced something about indigenous people or protected ethnicities. I was just baffled by how the US handles it when I read the ask about how an indigenous persons tribe is decided-limited by the Government, while also being reminded of why historically it's a bad move for the majority Government to have a list of the names and ancestry of people from a historically oppressed minority.

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