#live opera adventures

[majoresca]

One piece of media at a time, collect your numerical ticket and wait for service.

sometimes a piece of media just! grabs you by the thoat and says, "hey buddy! I'm gonna irrevocably alter your brain chemistry now! have fun with that!!"

and then you just ! gotta deal with that ! you guess !!

[dreamsteddie]

Nancy knows what people think when they see her and Steve together these days. People mostly include Robin Buckley who, despite what they both say, Nancy doesn't completely believe isn't carrying some kind of torch for the man.

They aren't dating, but it's obvious to anyone who knows them that's what Nancy is angling for. She's not subtle, and she's not trying to be. Doesn't see any reason why she should be. But she knows what it looks like. Nancy Wheeler, fresh off an amicable but heartbreaking end to her relationship with Johnathan Byers has turned tail for a rebound with former boyfriend Steve Harrington. She's using him. She's leading him on. She's going to break his heart, again.

The truth is that Nancy has always liked Steve, was in love with Steve for a fleeting moment when they were both young and stupid and full of mistakes waiting to be made and in the end they had hurt each other, misunderstood each other, too many times to last through their tumultuous teenage years.

The Nancy and Steve of 1984 couldn't have loved each other right, but Nancy knows in her heart that the Nancy and Steve of 1987 could make something beautiful.

Steve is so different from who he used to be. There's a steadiness in him that he always tried to emulate but never fully embodied until the summer of 1985. He always knew how to make her laugh, how to get her to tap into that adventurous spirit within her and live life, but now he also makes her feel safe.

She wants to hold him the way he used to hold her. Wants to whisk him away to New York and build a life perfectly balanced between her ambition and his steadfastness. So she's putting everything she has into rekindling those embers that have always smoldered between them into a steady fire.

She just has to convince Robin that she's in it for the long haul this time.

------

Robin thinks that before she met Steve Harrington her life was never so much like a soap opera.

Her best friend seems to attract danger, betrayal, and romance to him like the world is full of moths and he's the only flame for miles. It would be funnier if it wasn't so god damn annoying sometimes.

Steve doesn't know it, despite how much he insists on being some kind of love expert, but he's got two very eligible bachelors vying for his hand at the moment. She's pretty sure they both see themselves as tragic heroes in this tale of romance, but from her vantage point, it's more like two ornery cats fighting for the prized spot of their owner's lap.

Nancy and Eddie have made themselves both near-permanent fixtures at the Family Video. Ostensibly, they come in because Hawkins is still in the process of rebuilding and there isn't much to do at the moment outside of wandering the woods, loitering at the convenience store, and watching movies at home. In actuality they're both trying to monopolize as much of Steve's time as possible, each trying to lock down his weekend plans before the other.

The first couple of weeks it was funny just to watch, now the only enjoyment she gets out of the whole circus is ruining their plans. She relishes the pissed-off-priss look she gets from Nancy when she asks Steve to go to the drive-in the next town over and Robin turns it into a group outing instead. It's equally funny to watch Eddie's puffed-up shoulders droop when he can't figure out a way to say no to Robin enthusiastically asking if she can join them at the trailer to smoke up on a Saturday night.

In truth, as much as she enjoys messing with them, Robin knows who she wants to win this war. She knows too much about Steve and Nancy's past and all the ways they weren't good for each other to trust her deceptively fragile best friend in Nancy's capable hands.

Eddie, on the other hand...well she's still going to make him work for it before she throws him a bone.

------

Eddie's never been one to fall in love.

He's had crushes, shared a few kisses with girls and boys alike, and lost his virginity in the same fumbling but meaningful way most teens do.

But love? He's never had that before, wasn't sure what it would even feel like.

It turns out that for Eddie, being in love feels a lot like being an overgrown house plant that's finally been moved into suitably a larger pot.

You see, Eddie knows a lot about growing up on his own. Raising himself and finding ways to survive, if not thrive, with a distinct lack of nurturing. He knows how to grow under someone, to grow under the clumsy guidance of his uncle Wayne who never intended to become a parent. And most of all he knows a hell of a lot about growing despite. Growing under the harsh boot forever trying to push him back into the hard dirt he came from.

It's something else entirely to grow with someone in the way he's been growing with Steve.

Steve who was there when he woke up, almost equally as injured as Eddie himself after a second, world saving round with Vecna. Steve who let Eddie lean on him in the difficult month of physical and emotional recovery that came next. Who helped Eddie come to terms with the new reality he was living under the way Steve wished someone had been there for him after his first encounter with the Upsidedown. Steve, who on paper should have been one of the people pushing him down, always gave Eddie the space to be himself and never tried to force either of them into a box they didn't fit.

Eddie knows he's not The Girl. He's not the one who got away, he's not the stalwart princess in one of his campaigns who saves the day herself but still gets the guy. He's not Nancy Wheeler.

But he's also not a quitter, and even if everything about the world and the narrative arc of their lives says that Steve will never end up with him, Eddie knows he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't put his hat in the ring for the hand of the fair Sir Steve.

------

Steve's not stupid.

He knows that there's something happening between Nancy, Eddie, and himself. Knows that if he chooses to look a little closer, to examine why exactly all his weekends are suddenly booked up and Robin has taken to stealing the Recese's Pieces off the shelf whenever either one of them comes into the store like she's settling in for a show, he would come to the conclusion that two of his best friends are essentially courting him in competition with each other.

But Steve isn't looking closer.

His mom always said that he was just like his father, too stubborn for his own good.

Robin says he's a control freak, pushing non-life-threatening problems off until he knows how to deal with them on his own terms.

The truth is Steve already knows how this will end, and he knows how this should end.

Because in the eyes of society, in the arc of the narrative, Steve and Nancy should already be making plans to move out to New York and start a life together. Steve should be looking at apartments while Nancy finalizes her class schedule. He should be looking into getting a job at his dad's New York office to support his future wife through her college education where they both know she'll breeze through her classes and move onto the world-changing career she was always meant to have, while Steve stays home with their children like a perfect little modern family.

And the thing is, if the story had gone like it was supposed to, if the world had been saved the fourth time around and Eddie Munson had died on the cold, hard ground of the Upsidown, that's probably exactly the future that would have happened and Steve would have never known to not be content with it. But Eddie did make it, and while Steve mourns the future he could have had, he knows it's not the one he's going to choose in the end.

Even though Steve knows exactly what will happen when he allows himself to face the ever-mounting tension between the three of them, it's scary to take that plunge.

Everything about Steve's world up until Robin has told him that what he's going to choose will damn him forever, and even if he's never put much stock into God and the church, he knows that the future in front of them will never be easy. There's a part of him that wants to take the easy way out. He's never been attracted to a man before Eddie, never had to imagine himself loving someone discreetly, and the thought of it makes his heart hurt prematurely. It would be simpler, he knows, to choose the path most taken.

But Steve has always thought more with his heart than his brain, and he knows that after everything they've been through, after all the time they've spent healing together and growing as one that he could never choose anyone but Eddie.

The time is coming for him to make his final decision, he can feel it, but for now he'll let them sit in this liminal space a little longer.

[brujaluas]

How will your spouse see you after you start dating/get married with them?

(I have to say that I'm obsessed with the whole aesthetic of Nosferatu and The Phantom of the Opera, besides being completely fascinated by the films I've seen, I'm fascinated by the talent and beauty of the actresses, I want to live that lol)

pile 1

they will love your free and adventurous spirit, you are the same, but you are at different stages of life, one is more mature than the other, but the two of you will be a perfect match, it is as if your spouse were singing that song "Is somebody gonna match my freak?", and you answer "I definitely will", some of you here were more stuck in themselves, but you will give the person the opportunity to understand that they can also have fun, go to parties and things like that, you will become a very lively and friendly couple <3

pile 2

we have the obsessed ones in this pile, but not in a bad way, they will see you as the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars in their sky, they are very romantic and devoted to you, it reminds me of the song Religion by Lana del Rey, the moon can be important here, I don't know why, maybe they would ask the moon for giving somebody like you, and they got! they will want kiss your skin under the moonlight, as mentioned, they see you almost as a religion, and they are still very proud of you, that you may be younger than them or somehow have this more youthful air than them, and you will achieve so many things and they will be happy for you, it also reminds me of those old couples in love that we saw in funny cartoons.

pile 3

as the queen of their lives, regardless of gender, it is as if you rule their lives, some may idealize you too much in some way and put you on a pedestal. you are in the same moment in life, but you have different personalities and ways of dealing with things, and they like that, it is as if the difference that you have from each other made them more passionate and enchanted, sometimes, for the most part, differences drive people apart, but in this relationship it will only add up.

[repulsiveliquidation]

Impatient || Alexia Putellas

warnings : smut, somnophilia (consensual fucking while asleep), cunnilingus, anal fingering, pussy fingering, buttplugs (mentions and usage), strap-on, suggestive language.

summary : Alexia reminisces on the mindblowing fuck you gave her before she left for Paris.

Alexia sighed as she pulled the door closed behind her and locked the master bedroom. Her whole body was tired and desperate for a shower after training with the Spanish team. With the Olympics fast approaching, they were putting in extra effort to really prove themselves as the best team in the world.

Alexia undressed and brought herself to make a little effort in winding down. She lit a candle in the bathroom, turned the lights down low and started a nice, hot bath.

Getting into the warm water melted away all the struggles of the day, bringing comfort to the captain's muscles and bones.

It didn’t take long for her mind to wander, with her eyes closed and the ability to visualize your body, she made herself a nice image in her head to enjoy considering her time spent alone and far from you.

She thought about the last time you two had sex before she left for camp and Paris. It was everything she needed to last the tournament and who’s to blame her for having her waterproof sex toy conveniently charged and in the bath with her when it was some of the best sex she had ever had?

She closed her eyes and let her mind fill in all the gaps in her memory of that life-changing night.

You walked into the apartment expecting your wife to be up and waiting for you like she said she would.

“Ale?” you whisper-shout, hanging your keys up by the door and kicking off your shoes. The hospital called you in for an emergency surgery and you had to leave in the middle of date night the day before Alexia left for Paris. She was used to it, being married to a surgeon and all but it broke her heart a little that on a night before she left for a long while, you had to go.

“Oh darling,” you coo when you see her sleeping on the couch soundly, mouth a little open as she snored. She denied ever snoring but you knew better but kept up with her little secret.

You were about to turn the soap opera she was binging off when you caught a glimpse of her underneath the blanket she had over her middle.

“What the-” you begin as you pull the blanket off and you were not expecting what you saw in front of you.

La Reina was half naked and fell asleep fucking herself on the strap you knew she wanted you to use on her tonight.

“You’re such a fucking whore, Alexia Putellas,” you grin and mutter, leaving her right where she was to get yourself ready for her going away present.

Your scrubs were swapped for a black leather strap-on and some expensive black and red lingerie. You pulled your hair back and walked back into the living room feeling ten times sexier.

The thing with La Reina was, she loved a good challenge. You dared to suggest you made toast faster than she did? She was setting the record straight that very second. You’re sure you drove to her mother’s house in under 30 minutes in Barcelona traffic? She can do 29 minutes.

You knew that if she woke up during this little adventure, she’d be very disappointed with herself. Being the good little wife you are, you were going to make sure she succeeded.

Without disturbing even a hair on her head, you managed to get the toy she had been fucking into herself out of her and strapped to you. You were careful and didn’t wake her, eyes growing darker by the minute as lust took over.

She just looked so peaceful and dainty that a part of you didn’t want to ruin that for her but the idea of her waking up to an empty apartment the day after with panties still soaking wet from her arousal and that familiar pain in her thighs was too good to pass up on.

You’re just about to try and turn her over to fuck her prone bone when the queen begins to fidget in her sleep. She groans and turns over, head tilted to the side.

“It’s like you know I’m here, babygirl,” you growl a little, grabbing her ass to give it the softest knead.

Alexia grunts a little, almost pushing her ass up just a tad. You pull her legs open just enough to slip your fingers along her folds, feeling how wet she was.

There was a little bottle of lube, presumably her travel variation, beside her still open. You slip your fingers into your mouth and taste her, smiling and sighing when you taste her with a little hint of green apple from the lube.

You wet your fingers more, slipping them back into her pussy. You finger her gently, fingertips angled directly into her sweet spot. You notice a sheen of sweat on her skin and the throb of her heartbeat was stronger around your fingers.

“You feel that, don’t you sweetheart?” You whisper, thumb rubbing her asshole just a little. “Look at you, being such a needy whore even when you’re asleep.”

You’re getting giddy yourself, thumb tempted to press right into her ass. You give in and remember her desires to have anything she normally enjoyed done to her even when asleep, you spat a fat glob onto her asshole and pressed your thumb into her.

She gasped and your heart dropped, thinking you woke her up but she merely reacted in her sleep, hips almost pushing back into you.

The wet noises from between her legs were getting louder and louder so you switched your fingers out for your cock swiftly.

Alexia’s lips were ajar, the faintest snores leaving them. They looked a little too empty though.

So you filled them.

Wet fingers slipped right into the crevice and she immediately began to suckle, little whines muffled as you began to fuck her.

She took your cock well on regular occasions but there was something about her body that almost knew she loved being fucked while she was asleep that hightened her senses.

She opened up and took the big silicone appendage a little too easily, her pussy squelching was like music to your ears.

She whined a little more, asshole winking back at you just a little too easily. Your hips don’t slow down, keeping the perfect pace as your eyes scanned the room.

Foot rest? No, just Ollie’s hair.

Under the couch? Hmm, nothing there.

Coffee table? Now we’re talking.

A buttplug.

More specifically, one that had your initials engraved on the end that you had made for Alexia.

This was one of those items that she kept under lock and key, pulling them out only under special circumstances.

I guess tonight was one of them.

“Did you have a whole night planned for us, my darling girl?” You coo, pushing your cock deeper into her now also gaping pussy and putting the plug to the side for now.

Alexia begins to fidget so you slow down a little as she settles, cock buried to the hilt inside her. She whined, drooling onto the cushion a little.

Certain she was asleep again, you speed up and fuck right into her sweet spot. She whimpers as she gets close, pussy gripping tighter around your cock. You suck on your thumb and stick it back into her ass, fingering her backdoor in tandem with your strokes.

Just as she gets close to coming you pull out and turn her onto her back gently, noticing her breath go shallow and her sweat making her a little sticky. You push your cock back in, pressing down on her tummy as you fuck up into her cunt.

You swear you feel the bulge come through her thin skin, hips unable to keep a steady pace to avoid waking her.

You watch her eyes shoot wide open as she cries out your name when she comes, thighs shaking and eyes rolling into her head when you push her deep into overstimulation.

She begs and begs for you to stop but you don’t, knowing that if she really wanted you to, she would use her safe word. When her thighs stop trembling you stop, lips ravaging her neck and chest.

You pull out and push her legs back onto her chest, lips suckled tight onto her messy pussy. You eat her out savagely, two slender fingers pushed deep into her ass.

“AMOR!” She screams, squirming all over the couch as she tries to escape your hold.

She grabs your hair and grinds into your tongue, chest heaving in pleasure as you throw her head first into a second, mind-numbing orgasm.

“J-Joder! Por favor!” she begs before you pull away. Your fingers in her ass don’t slow down.

“Please what, princess?” You tease, thumb gently rubbing her swollen clit.

“Please,” she hiccups, “please let me cum.”

Your other hand slips three fingers into her cunt while the two in her ass make room for a third.

“Do you think you deserve to cum, pretty girl?”

“Yes! Yes please, please let me cum.”

“But you were such an impatient little girl today,” your fingers all slow down, dragging her pleasure out to a speed she did not like one bit.

“Couldn’t even wait for me come home to fuck your brains out, tsk tsk tsk.”

You pull your fingers out and move her to sit between your legs. Your lips sit right by her ear and you’re sure you feel the shiver go down her spine the moment you speak.

“Hold your legs open,” you say and she obeys, “thank you sweetheart.”

“Have you been using this these past few days, sweetpea?”

“Sí, just for you.”

“You love being reminded of who you belong to?”

“Sí, love feeling it inside me at training.”

“If only the girls knew what a fucking slut their captain was, what would they say?”

“Don’t care,” she slurred, feeling the cold plug circle her puffy asshole. “Only want to be good for you.”

“You’re a good girl?” You tease, pressing the toy into her.

“Ye-” she tenses, feeling the cold metal push into her, “yes, yours!”

The widest part of the plug sat inside her, the slight stretch was a welcome pain.

“My what?”

”Your good girl!”

You push the plug right into her and fill her pussy with your fingers to push her towards her second orgasm.

She squirts a little when she comes, literally melting into you when she does. You coo and hold her through it, watching as her chest and legs tremble beautifully. She tilts her head up and you kiss passionately, wet fingers holding her face close.

“I love you,” Alexia pants, fingers slipping past her cunt to pull the plug that sat inside her out in the bathtub. She grinned and placed it to the side to deal with later.

She calls you right from the bath, iPad propped up on a bench near the tub, wishing you were there to enjoy the hot bath with her. Or fuck her silly, she can’t decide.

“Hi baby,” you greet, smiling at her through the screen.

“Hola amor, how are you?”

“Good darling, training go okay?”

“Sí, it was good. I think we can win.”

“I know you can, amor. I believe in you.”

Alexia accidentally knocked the bench when she tries to turn the volume up on her iPad and the plug falls. It clangs loudly and you definitely hear it.

“Is that what I think it is?”

Alexia turns a deep shade of red in shame, her little secret now not so secret anymore.

“Alexia, you really are a cock-hungry slut, aren’t you?” You tease, watching the captain stutter to defend herself.

“Would you like some help relieving some stress, princess?”

[celestemona]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘’𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒

and their wives were asked the mostly random places where they did it.

pairing: husband! alhaitham, cyno, kaedehara kazuha, kaveh, lyney, neuvillette, wriothesley x fem! reader(s)

cw: they're just talking about places they had/have sex. mdi. not beta-read.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 (𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐔) 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆.

𝐍𝐕!𝐖: His main seat in the court at the Opera Epiclese. We also do it in his office but Neuvi prefers to do it at home... Although I must say that in our dating days, there wasn't a single room in our house that hadn't remained... untouchable.

𝐖𝐑!𝐖: Our office. Whenever we can, of course. We've fucked several times at some expeditions to the abandoned zone of ​​the fortress as well. We were never caught. But if we're going to talk about our most unusual experiences, I can only think of the memorable time Wrio pressed me against the wall behind Wolsey's cafeteria during dinner time. We had to silence one of the guards that night.

𝐍𝐕!𝐖: My my. That's so scandalous. I like that.

𝐊𝐙!𝐖: During my husband's pirate days, we used to escape to the crow's nest a lot. If there were some goods to be transported, he’d pull me behind its boxes. I have to say that living a nomadic life taught me to overcome the fear and shyness of having sex outdoors and enjoy the excitement the environment provides. Liyue has some perfect hiding spots for this. 

𝐊𝐕!𝐖: I agree. Although I haven't had any crazy adventures like you, I must say that it was quite thrilling to seduce Kaveh while we stayed at my sister's Jade Chamber. She had given us the suite with the biggest balcony and… well… You can imagine what happened after that. The height and high exposure help to increase the adrenaline. 

𝐂𝐘!𝐖: Now I understand why you guys have such exhibitionist nighttime adventures. Thank you for enlightening us, my dear. But anyway. Just like our dear friend Lady Kaedehara, it isn’t uncommon for Cyno and I to have our intimate moments outdoors since we travel to the desert quite often. You can say that we already know the right caves and ruins where we can make it without getting caught in any inconvenience. However, my favorite adventure of ours would be that one where I rode him in the Grand Sage’s office. 

𝐊𝐕!𝐖: Damn girl, you are just as shameless if not more than me. 

𝐀𝐇!𝐖: I'd say the two of you are more similar with each other than you let on. Well, you see, Alhaitham prefers to have sex in environments where we won't be caught much less interrupted. That doesn't mean we haven't had our intimate moments outside of our bedroom, of course. I think the most frequented ones in this regard would be his office, my classroom, and the restricted book aisle in the House of Daena. Oh, and there was also that time we escaped out of the tavern to somewhere outdoors when we had that group dinner. 

𝐊𝐕!𝐖: I told you she wasn't feeling sick. 

𝐂𝐘!𝐖: It surprises me how you can say such filthy things with that innocent face of yours. 

𝐖𝐑!𝐖: And you, my dear? I believe that Lyney is a very romantic partner just because of the way he looks at you. 

𝐋𝐍!𝐖: He is. Although he is also a little… unpredictable. I believe it won't even surprise you if I say that we've fucked several times behind the stage or in our dressing room. Plus, Lyney likes to eat me out in places we visit for the first time so not even the office at his Father's orphanage escaped that. 

𝐍𝐕!𝐖: My goodness. Appearances really can be deceiving. 

𝐋𝐍!𝐖: Tell me about it. I couldn't have a proper conversation with his Father for an entire month without remembering her showing up at her own office and finding her son with his head between her daughter-in-law's thighs. 

𝐊𝐙!𝐖: Her? 

𝐋𝐍!𝐖: Long story short his father is a woman. 

𝐀𝐇!𝐖: Interesting.

𝐖𝐑!𝐖: Well. Needless to say we're having a pleasant talk here. I must say though that we had some very unusual experiences and others full of twists. I think we should make a toast. To our passionate adventures and for those yet to come!

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒

𝐖𝐑: The girls are quite noisy today, huh.

𝐂𝐘: Definitely they are. What do you think they're giggling about? 

𝐊𝐕 & 𝐊𝐙: You'd rather not know.

[thelastomnitect]

Another week, another Livestream! We're live, right now (1:00pm EST 11/2/2024) so come and join us! We're live @ Twitch.tv/TheLastOmnitect, so click on the link and join us!

A Faster-Than-Light-Tale in the World of Tomorrow!

LEGACY: First Flight is live right now on my twitch channel, so come and join us, my friends! Help (or Hurt) our players as they head off into the Evanti Sector in this actualplay TTRPG Stream!

[escapisttt]

a little late for this but idgaf. my university shut down for election day so have my thoughts on redacted couples costumes!!

milo and sweetheart: morticia and gomez addams DUHHHH AND THEY ACT LIKE IT. this or kermit the frog and miss piggy (you can choose who’s who but in my heart of hearts milo is miss piggy c’mon now)

david and angel: toji fushiguro and the fucking worm from jujutsu kaisen. david was convinced because of how simple the costume is for him; just slapped on his black muscle compression t-shirt and found some big ass pants and called it a night. meanwhile angel slathered their entire body + their tank top and shorts in purple paint and put on a bald cap. (david carries angel on his shoulders the entire night)

asher and baabe: cruella deville and ash just as a dalmation dog (baabe is dragging him around with a leash and he’s living his best life) this or mermaid man and barnacle boy.

sam and darlin’: octavious and jedidiah from night at the museum come ON. literally no question about it. if sam was more fun, darlin’ would have them go as clawdeen and draculara from monster high, but he will probably never cave.

group shaw pack costumes: the walking dead themed. sam is rick. david is negan. ash is glenn. milo is michonne. darlin’ is daryl. sweetheart is maggie. baabe is carol. angel is carl. and they’re not dressing based off of the characters’ relationships within the show or else things would be weird.

vincent and lovely: just any tim burton couple. jack skellington and sally? emily and victor from corpse bride? edward scissorhands and the girl whose name i forgot? it’s either that or walter white and jessie pinkman.

damien and huxley: deadpool and wolverine (again you can pick who’s who but i think it’s obvious)

gavin and freelancer: donkey and dragon from shrek. to be clear gavin is the dragon and he’s wearing a slutty pinkish-reddish dress with his tail on full display, a pair of fake wings, and a full face of makeup while freelancer is in a donkey onesie from walmart or something. oh and caelum dressed up as the gingerbread man.

lasko and dear: if you wanna go basic, milo thatch and kida from the animated atlantis movie. but that’s boring and lasko doesn’t just wanna be himself. so if you wanna be fun and accurate about it, they’d be gimli and legolas from lord of the rings. lasko is gimli. let him live out his d&d, fantasy-loving dreams.

porter and treasure: phantom of the opera and christine. masc treasure can dress up in a white suit or just anything fancy and white, doesn’t have to be a dress. i just need phantom!porter hnnngh. alternatively if they’re feeling a little goofier they’d go as marceline and princess bubblegum from adventure time.

anton and his lover: no one talks about them enough i will bring them up at any opportunity. that being said, wall-e and eve. anton is wall-e and his lover is eve and they hold a little plant together. i’m crying.

[dreamtheatre]

hi! I've been really into doctor who lately, but I can't find many headcanons on tumblr!! if you have time or are interested, can you do headcanons of 9,10, and 11 having a crush on the reader? (or if you'd rather only do one, that's fine too!)

a/n hey! i absolutely love this idea... so let's do it!! i'm going to do this with our wonderful time lords 9 and 10.

Pairing: 9/10th Doctor x GN!Reader Fandom: Doctor Who Genre: headcannons, fluff Word Count: 708 Warnings: Nothing really... Obliviousness? Denial?

9th Doctor

he would never admit it, but he notices these little things about you.

your laugh... how the corners of your eyes crinkle and your head tilts back when something amuses you. he notices that when whatever you're laughing at is funny enough, your laugh turns into a bit of a wheeze. he can tell you're embarrassed by it, but he thinks its cute adorable nice.

he notices what your favourite colour is, and when he gets you a big box full of stuff that is your favourite colour he feels a smile stretch over his face when you grin. when you ask how he knew your favourite colour, he lied and said that the TARDIS told him (to which the TARDIS hummed in disagreement).

he notices what your favourite food is. he even takes you to the past/future to let you try all the different variations of your favourite foods.

he calls you "fantastic" a lot (Rose and Jack definitely notice)

he sees how close you are with Rose and Jack, but although he doesn't mind Rose, Jack notices how the time-lord's eyes get just a bit darker and a frown is etched on his face whenever he sees you with the 'handsome' ex-time-agent.

he never tells you any of this, though, because he doesn't know how he feels. the time war is still too fresh in his mind for him to come to terms with his emotions.

if you are there when he regenerates (which of course you are) he'll tell you that you were "bloody fantastic" one last time before the golden glow covers his body.

10th Doctor

this version of the time lord is different... you're not complaining though.

he rambles and rambles on about the planets, stars, and the galaxy and tells you about all the places he is going to take you (all the companions tell you he's just trying to impress you, but you wave them off, telling them he's just being his regular time lord self)

he can't help but smile when you smile, laugh when you laugh, and he has to fight of his tears when he sees you cry.

when you both lose Rose, he really does cry with you. he holds you tighter than ever and vows to never let the terrors of the universe reach you.

when you both meet Martha, the Doctor notices how you and her get along almost as well as you did with Rose. he happily takes the med-student along with you on your new adventures

he's beyond terrified when he gets possessed by the sun, thinking that he's going to hurt you (or worse, kill you) and there would be nothing he could do to stop himself. when you and martha save him, he contemplates taking you home, where you'd be safe from all the dangers of travelling with him, but you tell him that you're going to stay with him forever. he's stuck with you now (and he's not complaining at all)

when he turns into john smith, he falls in love with you instead of the matron. when the family of blood is defeated and he turns back into his old self, he hates that he can't bring himself to tell you that those three months, a mere fraction in his time lord life, was the best that he had ever lived.

after a year without you and the torture of being with the Master, the Doctor realises how short his time with you might be. when he sees his old friend, the Master, dying in his arms, he knows that he'd never forgive himself if he let anything happen to you

he finally tells you that he loves you

happily, he takes you out to romantic locations across the galaxy, picnics on New Earth, watching outer-space operas, and even just sitting on beaches on a planet where the ocean glows with pink and purple hues. he loves doing what you love

when Donna comes along, the Doctor and you both find her to be an amazing friend, and when you both meet a strange woman named River Song at the Library, she grins knowingly, knowing what the future had in store for the both of you.

end xx dreamtheatre requests are open!

[fahye]

book recs: feb 2024

(disclaimer: I have spent nearly three months languishing and sullen with post-COVID symptoms and have read, over dec-feb, eighty-one books. this is a ruthlessly streamlined list of recs that does not include, uh, all the rereading of sarah maclean and charlie adhara and georgette heyer books.)

AT FIRST SPITE by olivia dade - what if I moved in next to the man who ruined my engagement to his younger brother, and tried to ruin his life by playing monsterfucking audiobooks really loudly?? a heartfelt and lovely romance that also expertly sets up a great small-town setting for an ongoing series.

THE REFORMATORY by tananarive due - historical horror based on the existence of a real school for boys, clear-eyed and brutal in showing the the effect of racist systems in the 1950s american south. compelling as hell. even if you're not usually into horror, I'd recommend this: the ghost aspect is light-handed and really not as important as the horror of what humans do to other humans.

SOMETHING WILD & WONDERFUL by anita kelly - this is a m/m romance about walking the pacific crest trail which made me see the appeal of very long walks. a miracle! it's gentle and emotional and well put together; the characters really grabbed me.

THE BELL IN THE FOG by lev a.c. rosen - the followup to 'lavender house', and somehow even better?? a historical mystery series featuring a queer private eye in 1950s san francisco who looks into crimes against other queer people. amazing queer history! ACAB! I hope there are fifty more books in this series.

FEAST WHILE YOU CAN* by mikaella clements & onjuli datta - beautiful, greedy, terrifying small-town horror that is also a fucking fantastic, gorgeously written sapphic love story. this one IS for the horror fans. it gave me the absolute creeps but I couldn't put it down.

LADY EVE'S LAST CON* by rebecca fraimow - I described this on bsky as 'if you like Leverage, space opera, old screwball comedies, and dashing sapphics who are at all times spiritually wearing a leather jacket: this one is for you' and I stand by that. huge amounts of fun.

LONG LIVE EVIL* by sarah rees brennan - I will be screaming from here until forever about SRB's first adult fantasy book. if you like the isekai'd-into-a-villain-character setup and want it to be hilarious, genre-savvy and wildly angry and clever, you will roll around in this like a blood-stained mud puddle and then beg for more.

THE LAST HOUR BETWEEN WORLDS* by melissa caruso - really clever and original fantasy about a woman on maternity leave who gets dragged into saving a cocktail party which is falling through increasingly murderous and bizarre dimensions. LISTEN, JUST GO WITH IT. it's a seriously cool adventure.

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY* by cat sebastian - yes, it's another m/m romance about queer history in the mid 20th century, this one between a baseball player and the journalist assigned to write a story about his slump. made me care about baseball. cat is a genius.

*I read these as ARCs, they're not available yet but consider preordering or keep your eye out for them!

[dandelionjack]

so remember the whole “ruby’s mother is river song and she’s the doctor’s secret daughter” post i made way back in march? not sure how much of it still stands a chance, but it would click neatly with the doctor’s pointed insistence that “he hasn’t had children yet” and susan was his granddaughter from the future. basically, in a very soap-opera kind of obvious twist that i’d gobble up, the hidden song deep inside ruby’s heart could be the “river’s song”. when their long darilium night was nearing its end, river wiped the doctor’s mind to keep ruby safe from harm by association with her parents’ lives of danger and death, dropped her back on earth as a foundling, and fucked off to the library.

maybe some day in her future, ruby sunday will have a daughter, and that unearthly child’s name will be susan. something will happen to ruby and they’ll get separated forever. but before they lose one another, before ruby sends susan sailing down the river of time like moses’ mother placed him in a basket to float down the nile, she will instruct susan — when you get there, go find your grandfather. this is imperative: don’t tell him about me. don’t tell him anything. he’ll look after you as best he can. you’ll have all these wonderful adventures together, i promise. try not to look back.

[gryphonlover]

Linked Universe AU Directory

Anyway, I didn't put every single AU on this thing. I do not have the time and energy for that because there's over 600 LU works tagged as alternate universes on Ao3. I did follow some general guidelines when I was deciding which works to add, the most important one being that the AU had to be more than just canon divergence and had to affect all the characters equally. Feel free to add onto this post, if you think something is missing.

Link to the Ao3 Collection

Age Swap | Age Shuffle AU

Apocalypse - Unspecified | Brothers In Arms

Apocalypse - Zombies | Autolysis

Apocalypse - Zombies | LU Zombie AU

Fae | Across the River

Fae | Flower Garden

Fae | From Open Seas, to Dark Tangled Depths

Folklore | If You Thought This Was Gonna Have a Cool Title, You Obviously Don't Know Me

Fusion - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland | Hyrule's Adventures in Wonderland

Fusion - Among Us | Good Riddance

Fusion - Atlantis: The Lost Empire | The Sage's Journal

Fusion - Big Hero 6 | Fierce Hero 9

Fusion - Captain America: Civil War | United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Fusion - Dungeons & Dragons | LU x DnD Crossover

Fusion - Full House | Full House AU

Fusion - Lethal Company | Linked Company AU

Fusion - Lethal Company | Linked Universe AU: Lethal Company

Fusion - Mad Max | And the World Ends Again

Fusion - Monstrous Regiment | Linked Regiment

Fusion - Nailed It! | You Really Nailed it Right There, Buddy!

Fusion - Pokémon | LU Pokémon AU

Fusion - Pride and Prejudice | Pride and Prejudice but it's a Fair-Play Whodunnit

Fusion - Tangled | LU Tangled AU

Fusion - The Hunger Games | LU Hunger Games AU

Fusion - The Incredibles | Linked Universe Incredibles AU

Fusion - The Secret World of Arrietty | The Secret World of Wild and Twilight

Fusion - Spirited Away | One Summer's Day

Fusion - Star Wars | Tales of Courage from Across the Galaxy

Fusion - Warrior Cats | Faronclan AU

Gods & Goddesses | And the Universe Said "I Love You"

Heist | Heist AU

Historical - 1800s | City of Light and Dark

Historical - Supernatural | 1931

Science Fiction - Space Crew | Linked Nexus

Mermaids | Flared Fins

Miscellaneous - Disability | Shatterproof

Miscellaneous - Intrigue | Castle Intrigue

Miscellaneous - Magic | We Could be Immortals

Miscellaneous - Unspecified | Eyes Wide Open

Miscellaneous - Unspecified | Manus Lupus

Modern | Adoption AU

Modern | Good Enough

Modern | In the Heart of Hyrule

Modern | LU Modern AU

Modern | Modern Zeldas AU

Modern | Ranch House AU

Modern | The Many Realities of the Hero Spirit and Modern Living

Modern | The Roadtrip AU

Modern | The Weather Outside is Frightful

Modern - Actors | Linked Universe Actor AU

Modern - Coffeeshop/Café | Looking for Group

Modern - College/University | All You Need to Know

Modern - College/University | Linked University

Modern - College/University | Oh No, They're Theater Kids Now

Modern - College/University | RIP

Modern - Emergency Services | Of Officers and Stuffed Elephants

Modern - Farm | Fresh from the Farm

Modern - Ghost Hunters | A Haunting in Hyrule

Modern - Healthcare | How to Save a Life

Modern - Healthcare | LU in Healthcare

Modern - Magic | Everything but Blood

Modern - Magic | Family is Made of...

Modern - Magic | Maybe Human 

Modern - Magic | Summer Camp Lon!

Modern - Magic | The Chain that Binds Us

Modern - Magic | Wild's Magic Shop AU

Modern - Monsters | Here There Be Monsters

Modern - Movie Theater | There's a Remlit... Loose in the Theater!

Modern - Music Camp | Linked Repertoire

Modern - Newsroom | BSX: Hyrule SatellaNews

Modern - Newsroom | Professions and Professionals

Modern - Office | Linked Corporations

Modern - Opera | Opera House AU

Modern - Retail | The Hot Topic Debate

Modern - Retail | What Goes Down at Festival Foods

Monsters | Seelies and Selkies

Murder Mystery | How to Kill a God

Post-Nuclear War | Chain Reaction

Royalty | Every Other Star

Royalty | I'll Be There

Royalty | Royal Links AU

Royalty | Lost Prince AU Part 1 & Lost Prince AU Part 2

Soulmates - Platonic | Marks on Your Body, Marks on Your Soul

Soulmates - Romantic | Castle Town Coffee Shop

Vigilantes | Empty Streets Full of Life

Vigilantes | We Will Find You, Wherever You Are

Wings | Four's a Dad!?

Wings | Wings AU

Wings | Wing Bois

[fear-is-truth]

What do you think would happen during a movie night with the Evans? I mean in a "what would you watch?" and "what would be the general reactions to the movie?" way, not a "would you fuck on the couch?" kind of way.

⋆𐙚 ₊ the evans x movie date .ᐟ

ft. tate langdon ‧ kit walker ‧ kyle spencer ‧ james march ‧ kai anderson ‧ austin sommers ‧ luke cooper

a/n: thank you for the req !! i love movies (ty for clarifying too lol) warnings — murder mention

⟢ 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐍.

tate would definitely pick something horror-centric, like the blair witch project, pet sematary, night of the living dead, or the exorcist.

as the movie progresses, he’d be pretty quiet, watching you more than the screen.

won’t forget to drop morbid little comments that makes him sound like a complete sociopath.

the second you show the slightest sign of fear, tate is on full alert. it’s like a switch flips. he might still tease you a little, like “don’t tell me you’re scared of that,”

if you flinch or jump, it’s his cue to wrap you up in his arms, assuring you the scary stuff isn’t real. in some kind of fucked-up way, it’s almost like he enjoys seeing you vulnerable, but only bc he wants to protect you from the scary stuff.

⟢ 𝐊𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑.

kit would definitely lean toward the hopeful, heartwarming side of things. think shawshank redemption or green book that’s got that feel-good vibe, something that makes you believe in the good of people. he’d also want to watch something uplifting, like the pursuit of happiness or forrest gump—movies where the character fights through adversity and comes out on top.

you’d have a big bowl of popcorn to go with the movie. and a few blankets.

he would be super involved. probably a little emotional, especially with movies that tug at his heartstrings. “this part always gets me,” he’d admit, wiping his eyes discreetly if he got too caught up in the feels.

post-movie, he’d want to discuss the themes and characters. “you see how they never gave up hope? that’s the kind of message we all need.”

⟢ pre death .ᐟ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑.

frat!kyle’s movie taste would likely be a mix of blockbuster sci-fi and superhero films. he likes action, adventure, the sort of movies you can quote with your friends or wear merch to.

i think he’d like franchises like star wars, indiana jones, jurassic park, the avengers, men in black etc.

lots of cuddling.

⟢ franken .ᐟ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑.

something light and nostalgic like a studio ghibli movie. like ponyo or my neighbor totoro.

(because im the writer and i said so. )

he’d make it cozy with lots of blankets and snacks. the whole vibe would be super comfy. kyle would be super focused the movie, glancing over at you every now and then to make sure you’re having a good time as well.

when something cute or magical happens in the film, you’d hear his soft “aww” or “look at that,” because he gets genuinely excited.

⟢ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.

james wouldn’t actively seek out movies, sneering about how they lack the depth and refinement of true art forms like poetry or opera.

he’d explicitly detest hollywood, finding it gaudy and tasteless, particularly because of his ex-wife elizabeth’s infatuation with rudolph valentino.

however, if you wanted to watch something, he’d grudgingly agree, more for your sake than his own. his curiosity would be piqued by gory horror films—saw, hostel, or the texas chainsaw massacre.

as the movie progressed and the gore got more creative, his interest would visibly pique. he’d lean forward, eyes narrowing, as if studying the screen like a scholar. might even occasionally pause the movie to dissect a particularly inventive murder, speculating about the tools used or admiring the “execution” (pun intended)

the intricate methods of destruction would catch his interest. he’d remark about the “artistry” of a scene involving a particularly gruesome demise and might even murmur under his breath about how the filmmakers had some semblance of vision after all.

“ah, see how the arterial spray creates that beautiful arc on the wall?” or “the creativity in dismemberment is… admirable,”

he’d almost certainly take mental notes, planning to incorporate some of these techniques into his own macabre masterpieces.

⟢ cult leader .ᐟ 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.

kai would pick something like the social network, the matrix, fight club, or american psycho. we’re talking straight-up incel film bro material.

kai wouldn’t just watch the movie—he’d analyse the hell out of it. he’s the guy who makes watching movies an intellectual exercise but secretly just wants you to agree with him.

would definitely test you during the film, asking, “do you get it?” or “what would you do in this situation?”

the matrix? he’s mansplaining about the red pill and how people are blind sheep in the “system.” the social network? he’s cackling when eduardo gets screwed over by zuckerberg, saying, “he deserved it for being soft.” american psycho? he’d call it a critique of society.

he’d be so obnoxious during fight club, quoting lines like, “the things you own, own you,” and trying to explain to you how it applies to your life.

he’d fw tyler durden HEAVY. unironically.

⟢ 𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒.

the three-time tony award winner would gravitate toward films that scream high art—think something like the seventh seal by ingmar bergman or 8½ by fellini—stuff that almost feel like a performance or a commentary on cinema itself.

old-school classics, like citizen kane or the godfather—the ones that’ve stood the test of time. they’ve got that “cinematic art” thing that makes him feel like he’s part of some exclusive club.

if it’s a more recent flick, though, it’s gotta have substance. i think he’d enjoy black swan because it’s dark, intense, and shows true artistic struggle.

he’d admire the actors, the cinematography, whatever gives off that “artsy” vibe. if it’s too mainstream or shallow, though, forget about it. he’s not wasting his time on that.

even during the movie, he’d find ways to bring up the “black pill”. “this is why creative people—real artists—need something more than just hard work. black pill, that’s the real key to unlocking that next level of creativity.”

⟢ 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑.

luke would still call citizen kane his favourite movie, but not in a pretentious film snob way—he’s genuinely proud of himself for loving a “classic.” he’d talk about how his grandpa introduced it to him as a kid, and how it gave him the revelation that movies could be more than just entertainment.

his other favourite is the boondock saints, which he doesn’t try to justify with highbrow reasoning.

during movie nights, luke would occasionally point out a few obscure behind-the-scenes facts only because he couldn’t help himself, but otherwise let you watch in peace.

would 100% use the “resting his arm and casually drapes around your shoulder” tactic.

[cruelestpigeon]

AU where the tma really is just an office comedy/ soap opera and Annabelle Cane is your host/narrator.

S1: Worm infestation so they have to work remote for a bit, Sasha gets her identity stolen but sorts it out with her bank. Martin temporarily lives in the archives because his apartment is filled with asbestos.

S2: Sasha’s identity is revealed to have been stolen by her secret twin sister after she attempts to impersonate her. Sasha then resolves this but quits to go and pursue other passions (contract with show ended). Jon seeks therapy. That S2 finale that every sitcom has where the protagonist finally starts realizing his feelings for love interest.

S3: Tensions rise due to an unresolved argument between Tim and Jon about which circus they should go see. Elias gets arrested for committing tax fraud (contract ended). Season ends on Jon and Tim getting in a car crash on their way to the circus (emotional climax, Tim dies because his contract ended).

S4: Martin gets transferred (significant impact on the romance subplot). Wacky adventures include: Jon and Daisy investigating a cemetery because she needs help with a case, The branch that Martin got transferred to falls apart and he ends up back at the archives where the two lovebirds finally get together. The season that everyone only acknowledges the finale of because the love interests are mostly separated and the problematic but loveable boss got replaced.

S5: Jon and Martin move to Scotland into their little cottage with the highland cows in the season finale and nothing bad ever happens and only good things and nobody dies ever, the end.

[vintage1981]

The Life and Deaths of Christopher Lee Kickstarts Deluxe Blu-ray Edition

The Life and Deaths of Christopher Lee mixes traditional documentary with a dash of fantasy. It is narrated by Christopher Lee himself... in the form of an elaborate marionette, voiced by Peter Serafinowicz. The marionette was custom designed and built by Arch Model Studios, who made all of the puppets for Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox, Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and Tim Burton's Frankenweenie. 

The film combines new, exclusive interviews with filmmakers, including Peter Jackson, John Landis and Joe Dante, friends and family members with animated flights of fantasy from a wide variety of artists including 2000AD's Simon Coleby, award winning stop-motion animator Astrid Goldsmith and the legendary illustrator Dave McKean who directed, scored and animated a whole chapter of the film himself. 

Spanning eight decades and almost three hundred films, Christopher Lee became famous for his iconic performance as Dracula. But he was so much more than just the Hammer Horror roles he is so fondly remembered for. His career took him from uncredited parts in 1950s swashbucklers with Errol Flynn, through famous performances in 007 and Star Wars films, cult hits like The Wicker Man and The Return of Captain Invincible, right up to a lead role in cinema's biggest event - The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Along the way, he worked with everyone from Orson Welles to Mario Bava, Jess Franco, Tim Burton, Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg. 

Yet his story is so much richer than just his career. Lee was born into Italian aristocracy, with a military career shrouded in secrecy and kept his private life closely guarded. Some of his ventures and adventures seem highly improbable yet, as the film reveals, he often found himself in unexpected situations - he witnessed the last ever death by guillotine, was cousins with 007 creator Ian Fleming, he met Tolkien, performed with the classic Saturday Night Live line-up, was a friend and neighbour of Boris Karloff, he was the oldest person to ever get on the Billboard music charts (with his own Heavy Metal album), was an expert knife thrower, professional opera singer and a Nazi hunter. And somehow, he also managed to appear in almost 300 films of both the highest and lowest quality imaginable. 

The film is finished and producers Jon Spira and Hank Starrs want to share it with you by producing a top quality Blu-Ray with great extra features and a really amazing LIMITED/NUMBERED EDITION COFFIN-SHAPED BOX SET, full of goodies, which will look killer on the shelf of any discerning cineaste. The jewel in the crown of this box-set will be a 3D 'death mask' of Christopher Lee designed and produced by Arch Model Studio exclusively for this set. They also want to host some screenings - both online and in real cinemas - so we can all experience it together and you can get to meet some of the people behind it.

Making this film has been a fascinating journey - producers excavated the British Film Institute archives where they hold Lee's personal collection of scrapbooks detailing his career in his own hand, been given access to personal photos from the family archive, they met and interviewed his closest friends and family from all over the world and we've worked with some incredible artists, puppeteers, animators, musicians and filmmakers to bring his story to the screen in the most cinematic way. Whether you're a fan of Horror, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or just cinema history in general, we think you'll be delighted by this revealing and eclectic documentary.

Risks and challenges

The film is fully edited and ready to go. This Kickstarter is to fund the final bits of post-production and the production of a fantastic Blu-ray and deluxe collectors edition box set as we're all still committed to physical media. Please note that all illustrations of rewards are designs/prototype images. The final items might differ - we hope they'll actually be better.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Scragglmop the Destroyer

Once feared throughout the land, a great and terrible dragon grew tired of being endlessly hunted for his hoard and faked his death with the aid of a glory-hungry gnomish bard. Living on for centuries in the guise of a street cat, the dragon is now a hair's breadth from resuming his rampaging ways after the bard's descendants have lost the fortune he gave over to them for safe keeping.

Adventure Hooks:

A series of unexplained fires has wracked the city in recent weeks, which has both the guard and the populace on edge. Rumours swirl blaming arsonists, saboteurs from a rival kingdom, even an illegal duelling society of mages, but none have yet put it together that all of the workshops and businesses were all patronized in one way or another by the famed Candlebright noble family.

Coincidentally, Hignatta Candlebright, young head of that same noble house has sent an invitation to the party to join her at a famed teahouse to discuss a delicate matter involving the retrieval of stolen property. Hignatta has all but taken over the teahouse and its guestrooms since her own family home burned down near the start of the panic, and the party might begin to draw a connection when half way through their meeting the teahouse begins to fill with smoke, panicking patrons, and a booming, sourceless voice that demands "WHERE IS MY GOLD, CANDLEBRIGHT?!"

If you really want to mess with the party, consider introducing them to the fluffy street cat completely independently of the arson plot, making a nuisance of himself in the market while they're trying to shop, or catching mice in their store-room should they have acquired a residence in town. Have them befriend the cat as they might any bad-tempered stray, only to realize after the adventure is half way through that the mice he catches are always somewhat charred. Also imagine the looks on their faces the moment the party's home is broken into by an enemy and their housecat incinnerates a wave of intruders for disturbing his nap.

Background: Everyone knows the story about how the legendary hero Gailen Candlebright saved the realm from the tyrannical dragon Slaggrath, a beast known to devour whole armies and raze kingdoms in search of treasure. It's the ubiquitous tale against which all adventurers are measured against, made all the more ubiquitous thanks to the fact that the deed is memorialized in drinking ballads, children rhymes, and even a few folk operas. Gailen was a troubadour of not insignificant skill before he became a legend, and he had little trouble using that skill and hardwon fame to ensure his deeds would never be forgotten.

As with many tales told by the bards, Gailen left out quite a bit of the truth when concocting his tale: It was a late night in a roadside tavern and the young Candlebright was approached by a sourfaced man with a tangled beard and clothes that might have once been quite fine. Gailen had sung for his supper and then some, his hat was overflowing with tips from a long night's work and a greatful crowd, and the old man wanted to know how it was exactly that the Gnome hadn't yet been robbed; The roads were full of all sorts of rough types who thought that their strength entitled them to others' wealth, bandits yes but worse yet kingsmen, who took what they wanted sure that that they were above any kind punishment.

Seeing that the old man had fallen on rough times, likely having been robbed himself, Gailen spoke from the heart: He'd been robbed a few times yes, but he got by looking like someone that no one would bother to steal from, dressing in his fine clothes only on days he'd perform, and keeping most of his riches in the safe keeping of others, such as the caravan masters he frequently traveled along with.

The old man considered Gailen's words and the two sat up drinking through the night debating the merits of the Troubador's duplicity. Was it not better, asked the old man, to defend what was yours with strength and reputation, That everyone might learn from the failure of those that had trifled with you before?

Gailen looked at the many scars the old man bore and countered that fools never learned their lesson, they just thought themselves better than the last fool who risked it and they'd keep risking it till luck won out or they went to join all the fools that had come before.

It was dawn when the two parted ways, Gailen tottering off to bed thinking he'd given council to a reformed bandit chief, the old man slipping out of the inn and taking to wing thinking he'd concocted a brilliant scheme with the help of his newest, and perhaps first, friend.

i was a week (and one pants-shitting revelation over the old man's true draconic nature) later that the legend of Slaggrath came to an end: Gailen walking into that very same tavern bloodied, burnt, and with the broken off horn of the great wyrm held above his head as a trophy. The news spread like wildfire, the name Candlebright ascended to the shortlist of the realm's great champions, and not a soul questioned when the newly knighted Gailen comissioned the construction of an elaborate series of vaults beneith the castle he'd just been awarded. The bard had everything he wanted, and in return he and his family would hold the dragon's horde in trust, not touching a single copper and adding a little to it each year out of respect for the wyrm's generosity.

Future Adventures:

Even before he charmed his way into unexpected riches, Gailen was an ardent follower of Garl Glittergold, god of ambition, wit, and wariness. Genresavvy bard that he was, he understood that this fabulous windfall wasn't just some gift from his god, it was a test, and that to keep his good fortune going he'd best abide by the exact deal he'd struck in that tavern. Gailen kept Slaggrath's treasure under lock and key all his life and made sure his children did the same despite never telling them where he got it, in accordance with his pact with the dragon . Feeling that the Candlebright family has sat on its laurels for far too long (especially since practical and buisness minded Hignatta has been increasingly questioning why her late grandfather insisted on keeping a giant pile of money in their basement and never spending it), the god has seen fit to shake things up, ensuring that some long lost blueprints for the vault have fallen into the hands of a group of thieves, who broke in and cleared the vault though the very same secret passages Slaggrath used to pop in every decade or so and make sure the count was up to date. The dragon is pissed, convinced Hignatta has reneged on her family's deal.. and all the while the thieves get closer and closer to escaping.

Depending on how the party handles it this situation could break bad in any number of ways: The dragon could give up on being Scragglmop and go on a rampage forcing the party to put him down, they could intercede on Hignatta's behalf and ensure the treasure is returned possibly earning themselves a cushy position as retainers of house Candlebright, perhaps most dangerously they could earn the attention of Garl Glittergold himself and end up being singled out for their own unstable blessing.

In addition to being motivated by the prerequisite desire to get rich, the thieves were hired by an ambitious mage who has long desired to get his hands on Gailen's Horn, the draconic trophy the bard thereafter used as the sigil for his house and hollowed out into a heavy instrument through which he channelled his most showy magic. The mage has designs on the horn as the centrepiece of a ritual drawing on the object's history of power and triumph. Given that the horn is in fact the centrepiece of a giant con it's going to bring some very unaccounted for variables into the mage's ritual which is liable to set off its own chain of problems down the line.

Art

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Second Best 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Lee Bodecker

Summary: The newly-single sheriff sets his eye on an unexpected match.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your shift comes to an end and you heave a sigh of relief as you leave the hotel. You’re tired and slightly irritated. That guest Thor mentioned wasn’t friendly when you dropped of fresh towels. Not even a thank you.

Oh well, you’re free now. To do… absolutely nothing. Your agitation grows. Usually you’d call up Greta and waste time together but you’re not doing that anymore.

So what do you do? Go home and sew? Watch some soap operas with your mom? Maybe you could go for a nice walk…

Sure. Your feet are sore from your shift, you wouldn’t make it very far. You huff and roll your eyes. You’ll just hang out in your room or whatever. It’s par for the course in Hammer Ford.

You come to the bottom of Thunder Lane and turn onto one of the longer country roads. Your parents’ house isn’t terribly far, not when the weather is nice. You grip the strap of your slouch bag and yawn. A nap is tempting but with you’re luck, you’ll oversleep and end up awake all night.

The noise of an engine and mulching tires approaches. You don’t look back as you sidle over on the apron. There’s more than enough room for them to pass, you always make sure of that. Yet, you notice how the vehicle slows and the bumper pokes out just along your peripheral. As you walk on, the car keeps a snailish pace with you.

You glance over and withhold a cringe. Just what you need. The sheriff rolls down his window as he taps on the gas. He hooks his elbow through the door as he keeps his other hand on the wheel.

“Hey, darlin’, need a ride?” He drawls.

“No thanks, sheriff,” you turn your head straight and pick up your pace.

“You ain’t live far, I can drop ya off no problem.”

“Like you said, it’s not too far,” you agree, adjusting your grip on your bag.

He snickers as the gravel grits beneath the tracks of his tires, “I see,” he keeps his slow crawl, “you one of those ladies who don’t need no man, huh?”

“I… guess,” you shrug, keeping your eyes ahead of you.

“How’s that? Don’t you live with your daddy?”

You wince. That’s a low blow, even if it is true.

“Sure do,” you answer dully.

“I’m not sayin’ it to embarrass you, I’m just wonderin’,” he coaxes, “don’t mean nothing at all.”

“Thank you, sheriff.”

“You gonna look at me, huh?”

You peek over again. You don’t say a word as you keep walking. He watches you as you watch him. His gaze makes your blood run cold.

“Come on, get in,” he says.

You frown, “I said, I’m fine.”

“You sure are stubborn,” he clucks, “I thought an old man like yours would teach ya some respect.”

You face the horizon again, keeping one foot in front of the other, “I haven’t been disrespectful, sir.”

He huffs and doesn’t respond. You press on as he pulls ahead. You watch him drive off, picking up speed as he rolls away. You exhale and bite your cheek. That was weird.

You watch him stop just down the way and reverse. He veers his back bumper around and swerves back to face you. He must’ve got a call. You don’t think too much of it. He slams on the gas, revving back in your direction.

He gets closer and closer. You expect him to drive past but you realise, he isn’t following the lines. He’s driving right at you!

You stagger and jump to the side. You hurdle yourself off the apron across the ditch and hit the grass on your knees. Your bag swings up over your shoulder and weighs you down. You twist onto your ass and pant at him as he stops just short of the divet in the ground.

He laughs through the open window as he flicks his lights on and his siren whoops, sending your heart to lurch again. You scramble back on your hands and stand up shakily. He backs up again and steers the car straight.

“Better be careful on the backroads,” he idles just across the ditch from you, “lotta careless drivers around here.”

You gape at him. He didn’t just try to kill you. He wouldn’t. He’s the sheriff. And for what? Because you didn’t want to go with him and Greta? Or because you didn’t want a ride?

“See ya round, darlin’,” he taunts and spins the wheel, speeding off in the other direction. His tires kick up rocks and send a cloud of dust into the air behind him.

You reach down to wipe off your pants and try to shake off the adrenaline. You still can’t believe what just happened. It just doesn’t make sense.

You sniff and look around. It’s just you, out in the middle of nowhere. He did all that but he could have done more. You’re lucky he didn’t.

You stay on the far side of the ditch, edging close to the trees as you set back towards home. You’ll cut through the forest, just to be sure. You’d almost rather face a black bear than chance another run-in with the sheriff.