#man i just love annabelle and want her to have the creepy show she deserves
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cruelestpigeon · 4 months ago
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AU where the tma really is just an office comedy/ soap opera and Annabelle Cane is your host/narrator.
S1: Worm infestation so they have to work remote for a bit, Sasha gets her identity stolen but sorts it out with her bank. Martin temporarily lives in the archives because his apartment is filled with asbestos.
S2: Sasha’s identity is revealed to have been stolen by her secret twin sister after she attempts to impersonate her. Sasha then resolves this but quits to go and pursue other passions (contract with show ended). Jon seeks therapy. That S2 finale that every sitcom has where the protagonist finally starts realizing his feelings for love interest.
S3: Tensions rise due to an unresolved argument between Tim and Jon about which circus they should go see. Elias gets arrested for committing tax fraud (contract ended). Season ends on Jon and Tim getting in a car crash on their way to the circus (emotional climax, Tim dies because his contract ended).
S4: Martin gets transferred (significant impact on the romance subplot). Wacky adventures include: Jon and Daisy investigating a cemetery because she needs help with a case, The branch that Martin got transferred to falls apart and he ends up back at the archives where the two lovebirds finally get together. The season that everyone only acknowledges the finale of because the love interests are mostly separated and the problematic but loveable boss got replaced.
S5: Jon and Martin move to Scotland into their little cottage with the highland cows in the season finale and nothing bad ever happens and only good things and nobody dies ever, the end.
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notafunkiller · 4 months ago
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I love your page, really what I have seen on other blogs...especially shippers, scares me. Wanting to give Sebastian a folder full of accounts that "hate" his "girlfriend" seems extreme to me, the man this week says SM is a waste of time...but this has nothing to do with Sebastian because people just broadcast their opinion, celebrities are exposed to this and it is not going to change...there is a lot of hate on the internet and that is not going to change.
(I think what "angers" me the most is that the blog that is doing this witch hunt is the same one that talked and still talks bad about Ale. It's hypocrisy)
They will only make Sebastian further distance himself from the fandom and that's sad for people who don't even care about his personal life outside of being an actor.
They really need to get out into the real world, Sebastian won't give them a congratulations...I think the opposite will happen.
And they are doing it for Annabelle NOT Sebastian, they will give real names, with pictures and comments that were given...they are being stalkers for people that DO affect them (not celebrities which even though it is wrong, they are used to it).
Bullying someone for a celebrity is not going to make you get everyone to believe your narrative.
Sorry for the long post but I'm venting here because it's the only place that really listens to everything, I think you have are a very reasonable person in this fandom 🌸🌸.
Heyy, thank you so much! I am so glsd you feel free to talk here. And please, do not apologize!
Please, that envelope thing is so ??? Like it's not just ridiculous and shows this person/group of people did not touch grass ever, bur it's also direspectful to him and other fans who paid to meet and talk to him because they genuinely care about him... his roles and projects. This Annabelle shipping/relationship a§s kissing thing does not make people better fans.
(I mean they talk mostly about her on his big days so...)
If he even opens it (assuming he does not throws it away the next moment), what reaction is he supposed to have? Pat them on the shoulder and thank them? Invite them to dinner? They'd just make him uncomfortable and really creeped out bc... who has the time and urge to collect a bunch of info and photos (which btw is stalking and it's illegal) about strangers (just because they do not like Annabelle or they don't believe their relationship is real)?
It's so creepy and weird... I wonder if they'll film too so we can see his ??? face (I hope they don't, but still).
They act as if they actually are friends with Annabelle and Sebastian. As if they are doing them a favor.
They act as if they deserve a medal because they sexualize both: him and Annabelle, connect everything they do; she can't have a hobby without it being connected to him and he can't be in LA even for work meetings without being connected to her etc.
Please, Don ahd to tell them to stop leaking the live link, and Sebastian had to use a photographer blackdrop because they tried to leak/leaked his address multiple times in his live with Don, and instead of realizing how mich they creep him out and that he actually sees what people tlak on social media (because HE IS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, as much as he denies), they continue to talk about how that backdrop is from Annabelle's friend.
It's on another level... how do you miss the point?
I saw two people were being stalked + their families too. This is not just creepy, it's unhealthy and scary.
Why are you so deeply affected by people sharing their opinions on random things and people that you want to threaten them and use their families etc? Like you are definitely not okay if you do that.
Also, the double standard too! If Ale did what Annabelle does, they'd make cancel parties and send mor ethreats as they always did. And they did not stop hating on her, anyway. They still talk about how bad and awful she is.
Bullying is a HUGE NO - no matter who the person is.
Thank you for sharing and don't apologize or be shy 🌸
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freyatarotreadings8 · 1 year ago
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Could you share why you don’t trust her? /
Oh, darling. Where do i begin?! First off, thank you for being so lovely and receptive. There is a running list of shady, creepy things she’s done at this point. I guess I’ll begin with my personal impression of her. Her eyes are empty. There is no sense of authenticity or kindness in them. They’re just…hollow. She’s also just very unsettling to listen to and watch. She strikes me as someone who thinks she deserves more attention than people give her. Thirsty, shallow, manipulative.
Aside from that, the list of weird, creepy stuff she’s been caught in is pretty long. She accidentally followed a Dakota Johnson fanpage while she was stalking it. Dakota Johnson is her ex, Chris Martin’s, current partner. And it wasn’t any fanpage, but one that provides regular updates on Dakota’s location. She has also been caught baiting and stalking Sebastian’s fanpages. She even went as far as following one for two days to start trouble. She was caught watching a livestream of a fashion show Sebastian was attending, as if to keep an eye on him. There are people who even believe that she dumped lots of money into selling herself as Sebastian’s girlfriend with the intention of backing him into a corner. She is a known opportunist and girlfriend for hire. She stays relevant by attaching herself to successful men. Her “charitable efforts” are hollow and attempts at making herself look good. I could go on and on, but it’s not worth it.
She is almost 40 years old. What adult engages in this kind of behavior? It is immature and a sign of immense insecurity.
But the thing that doesn’t sit well with me about their relationship is that Sebastian always looks miserable and tense next to her. He is a passionate Leo man. We have seen him with women he loves before. He’s smiley, smug, affectionate, at ease. He wants you to know that his girl is his girl. But he barely wants to touch Annabelle. She has to grip his hand while watching the camera on their pap walks. He always inevitably pulls his hand away. He seems unsatisfied and even angry with her most of the time. I just don’t buy that she makes him happy. I think he’s afraid to walk away because she is extremely manipulative. I’m watching someone in my life go through a similar situation and the body language, facial expressions, etc. are almost identical. It strikes me as a toxic situation.
Thank you for sharing your opinion🧡
It looks like she has tons of free time to do whatever she does. She may want to get more attention by doing it. Also lots of celebrities do some charity just to look good.
At the end of the day, Sebastian is smart and wise man, who can recognize all her creepy tendencies. Maybes, it’s a start of a middle crisis of his. Who knows🤷🏻‍♀️but, Leo and Virgo aren’t a good match.
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singofsolace · 5 years ago
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Miranda Otto’s Filmography as seen through a specific lens
otherwise known as: I watched some of these things so you don’t have to. But more specifically, I want to share basic information about which of her films and tv series require trigger warnings. Honestly, I’ve never recovered from some of them (thinking about In Her Skin... but also Homeland... because what the actual fuck, Saul?)
This isn’t a complete list. It’s only 21 of over 60 credits Miranda has to her name, but I think these are probably some of her most famous roles. Please let me know what you think of these brief descriptions, and whether anything should be added or removed.
It should go without saying that there are spoilers below. Read at your own risk.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina:  Zelda Spellman
A powerful role, but be aware Zelda is abused, raped (implied), and violently murdered (twice)
Downhill: Charlotte
I love this woman with all my heart, okay? Miranda Otto is supposed to be playing the most heterosexual woman ever, and instead manages to make every single scene gay as fuck.
The Silence: Kelly Andrews
Gets her leg mutilated (also it’s implied that she and Kiernan’s character would be made sex slaves by this random cult that shows up... which is super tasteful and not at all disgusting)
Annabelle: Creation: Esther Mullins
Face mutilated, eventually murdered (I think? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this one)
24: Legacy: Rebecca Ingram
Powerful woman kidnapped, tortured, and violently murdered
Homeland: Allison Carr
Powerful woman violently attacked by her former lover in full view of her coworkers. Riddled with bullets while she is curled in a trunk.
The Daughter: Charlotte
I’ve made a whole post about how I think Charlotte was raped by her employer, and that it therefore shouldn’t be framed as a sexy affair… but here we are.
I, Frankenstein: Leonore
Powerful woman kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip. I’ve also made a post about this one, and how Miranda Otto claims this part could have been played by a man, but the blatant sexism around the kidnap and ransom—making a woman who is the leader of warriors powerless to fight back against her attackers, and having her rescued in a way that frames her as a damsel in distress (complete with bridal carry)—makes me believe that Miss Otto doesn’t notice just how much sexism was written into the role.
Reaching for the Moon: Elizabeth Bishop
While as a whole, this movie is beautiful and wonderful and one of my all-time favorites, we need to still acknowledge that Lota and Elizabeth were in an incredibly toxic relationship—which I actually think is great representation, because abuse doesn’t just happen between a husband and a wife, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend, it can happen to anyone with any partner.
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Lydia Andrews
I unapologetically adore Miranda in this one. She is so convincing as the grieving widow that the plot twist caught me completely by surprise. This is perhaps the only role that I’ve seen Miranda play where a bad woman was brought to justice, but in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with her gender. Justice was neutral and exacted without prejudice, in this case.
In Her Skin: Mrs. Barber
This is one of the most upsetting and disturbing films I’ve ever seen. Miranda Otto is brilliant in it, but playing the role of a mother whose daughter went missing (and then was brutally murdered) definitely took its toll. I will never understand why the movie released an interview during which Miranda was clearly distraught. She breaks down into tears multiple times just trying to talk about this movie (which was a real-life murder case).
Cashmere Mafia (TV Series): Juliet Draper
Okay, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Juliet Draper. I would cherish her and dote on her for the rest of her life if she were my wife. But in the actual show, her husband is a serial cheater. When her friends find out about it, they don’t judge her broken marriage, but they do give her the courage she needs to leave him. They tell her she deserves more—and she does!! But in the final episode there is a pretty disturbing plot about a multi-millionaire who wants to buy not only her Hotel company but also her… which is exactly as bad as it sounds.
War of the Worlds: Mary Ann
Miranda Otto is heavily pregnant and glowing in a grand total of five minutes of this movie, but oh, what wonderful five minutes!!
The Lord of the Rings: Eowyn
This is the role for which Miranda is most famous. I have nothing bad to say about Eowyn, except that she ought to have been given more screen time, and that there shouldn’t have been that creepy plot about the King’s advisor or whoever wanting to have sex with her. It was incredibly unnecessary and frames Eowyn as a potential victim in the beginning, which was completely unnecessary in terms of character/plot development. 
Danny Deckchair: Glenda Lake
Glenda Lake is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Please for the love of Otto watch this film for baby Miranda in a sweet romantic comedy.
Julie Walking Home: Julie Makowsky
I don’t understand this film at all. It has one of the most absurd plots I’ve ever seen. Miranda’s husband/partner cheats on her and gets caught, and then he gets violent (in front of her children and multiple adult witnesses!!), and then their son gets cancer, and then she goes to Poland, and then a Healer tries to cure her son, and it works for a while, and eventually Julie (Miranda) has sex with the Healer, in order to teach him how to have sex? and then she gets pregnant by this man, and then her son’s cancer comes back, and then the Healer runs for the hills, and then her former partner takes her back so that they can all be a family again....?!?!?!?!
Human Nature: Gabrielle
This film made Miranda popular with a lot of creepy old men (okay maybe just Bruno Barreto based on this interview… (seriously I am so uncomfortable with the way he’s like… oh yes, I knew her from that film... and then later *places his hand on her bare knee/thigh* Lowell doesn’t give a shit about (Elizabeth/Miranda) being awkward! 
(the implication being that Lowell is only interested in getting Elizabeth into his bed...)
anyway��� she plays a sexy French scientist, who isn’t actually French. There’s lots of lingerie, dancing, and kissing.
The Jack Bull (TV Movie) Cora Redding
Miranda Otto dies an incredibly violent death in period costume for no apparent reason besides generating male pain.
Dead Letter Office: Alice Walsh
Young!Miranda is so cute in this, but there’s a sort of ambiguously creepy older man-younger woman relationship… because Alice (Miranda) is looking for a father figure… and anyway I don’t remember this film well enough to comment more specifically, but I remember it being lovely except for the age difference between Alice and the guy in charge of the missing letters.
Doing Time for Patsy Cline: Patsy
I watched this purely for Miranda, and I do think it’s good, but only her part in it. Miranda plays the “busty bimbo with a heart” incredibly well. I remember being scared for her character, because her husband was a mean drunk/drug addict, but I don’t think any actual violence gets portrayed… but someone who has watched this more recently can correct me if I’m wrong.
Sex is a Four Letter Word
I only made it through half of this film before I turned it off. I wouldn’t watch it unless you’ve ingested/inhaled some substances and don’t mind people monologuing about their terrible sex experiences. 
...
Let me know if you’d like to know more about any of these films!
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tehbaittagoat · 5 years ago
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‘The Mummy-2017’ review
The Mummy tries a fresh spin on the classic monster with a gender-swapped villain and linking it with the Dark Universe winding up the scale of an action reboot. Tom Cruise’s new creation barely qualifies for a movie. The studio or production running the set, Universal, is planning to copy Marvel by establishing a ‘shared universe’ through interlinking with the blockbusters. But instead of the plot focusing just on the superheroes, the so-called ‘Dark Universe’ movies will be about “The Invisible Man”, “The Wolfman” and the other classic monsters from Universal’s back catalog.
The Mummy had the tendency to make the franchise started This film deserves to be shut inside a pyramid for several millennia. Rather than presenting a self-contained story, it takes a major part of the ShowTime describing its concept and foundations that will help to crop up in future Dark Universe installments. To make the storyline never winding, they used an ordinary line “To Be Continued”. It’s passable if you view it as a trailer, or as the pilot episode of a television series, but as a film in its own right, it deserves to be shut inside a pyramid for several millennia.
Even if The Mummy hadn’t had to lay the groundwork for the Dark Universe, it would still be a shambles. A mish-mash of wildly varying tones and plot strands, Alex Kurtzman’s perplexing horror-comedy mixed with sci-fi-espionage or disastrous thriller is stuffed with characters whose beliefs and abilities change with times, and punctuated by murkily lit of action sequences which don’t show how those characters get from one location to the next. Maybe part of the problem is that there are six credited screenwriters behind this creation. That wouldn’t have been much surprised if they wrote particular pages each without ever seeing what others came up with.
To give you some idea of just how weird it is, The Mummy is a film about an Ancient Egyptian sorcerer, and yet its opening scene features a bunch of Crusaders in 12th Century England. However, the time-lapses and they then jump to the present day, when those Crusaders’ catacombs are discovered beneath the streets of London. This discovery is, somehow, the cue for a portly, smirking professor (Russell Crowe) to stride in and narrate the legend of the aforementioned Ancient Egyptian sorceress. Later on, someone else mentions that the legend has been “erased from the history books”, so it’s quite wonderful that he knows it in such detail.
It’s only after the prof has completed his exposition dump that the film hops to a desert in Iraq, and at last, we meet Cruise’s Nick Morton, a US Army sergeant who loots antiquities to sell on the black market. He is, in short, an obnoxious crook, but, like the many other cocky, self-centered rogues Cruise has ever played, he is supposedly forgivable because a) he keeps taking his shirt off, b) he’s good at sprinting, and c) he learns to be a decent person by the end of the film. It’s a shame that, at 53, the actor is a decade or two too old for the role. If someone is still cheating, stealing and bullying as blithely as Morton is in his sixth decade, it’s hard not to feel that he is, fundamentally, a scumbag.
Eventually, he and a blonde archaeologist/love interest (Annabelle Wallis, who is, of course, 20 years younger than her co-star) stumble upon a cavernous but not very spectacular tomb, and accidentally bring a pharaoh’s cursed daughter, Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella), back to the land of the living. (It’s Morton’s fault, and it results in catastrophic death and destruction, but no one ever blames him.) Wrapped in just enough bandages to remind us that she’s a mummy, but not enough to cover up the doodles tattooed all over her, Ahmanet embarks on some sort of vengeful quest involving a magical dagger. 
None of it either makes sense. The film delivers all the chases, explosions, zombies, dimensions, confusion and ghosts you could ask for, and there are a few amusing as well as cheesy lines and creepy moments, but, between the headache-inducing flashbacks and hallucinations, the narrative would be easier than before to follow if all these were written in hieroglyphics. At one point, for instance, a crowd of zombies disintegrates into computer-generated dust, and the film doesn’t bother to explain why or how the hell it happened. No wonder that even the superhumanly confident Cruise appears dazed and confused half the time. When, in the closing minutes, Morton bleats, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” it sounds like a moan for help.
It’s also a matter of great relief when he reaches the professor’s hidden monster-hunting base in London, and The Mummy gets on by spelling out its Dark Universe mythos. This portion literally makes a sense or some purpose. Crowe – who’s trying out not to be the one having two painful English accents – drones are based on the evil creatures stalking the earth, and while his the scenes seems to be  lifted straight from “The League of Extraordinary Gentleman”, they’re ludicrous enough to be enjoyable. Maybe Universal’s multi-movie monster creations won’t be that terrible. But don’t get too overwhelmed by now. If the Dark Universe is going to be anywhere near as lucrative as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, its subsequent films will have to be far better than this.
Last, of all, The Mummy is a surface-level popcorn blockbuster that’s biggest strengths lie in a decent action/adventure retelling of the classic monster’s story and the film’s Dark Universe connections. It’s not the best Hollywood offered this summer, nor the most compelling reboot of The Mummy, but will be enjoyable for fans of Cruise’s work and those intrigued by Universal’s new shared universe. And, with the ending of The Mummy leaving the door open for future installments, as well as a possible direction for the Dark Universe, perhaps the movie’s greatest success is as the shared universe’s launchpad.
Not a kid movie tho so that you can sit along and watch as the scenes there are sometimes weird, cringy also the sequence there is quite hard enough to grasp it all but the one who wants a new accence this summer can surely go for it and personal rating will be 5 out of 10.
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