#live and learn! im definitely trying

[sakuramoussy]

Hey everyone!!! Not sure if anyone remembers, but sometime last year I wrote a cute mini story called Paranormal Geek and published it through Lulu Bookstore!

I have just recently update this listing and decreased the price on it - previously $20, now its $15 (and this is permanent! Not a sale or limited time thing)

Its $15 for a physical copy of the book - its 107 pages, a good chunk of which is full page art relating to the story!

You can buy Paranormal Geek HERE on Lulu Bookstore!

Please consider sharing this and/or puchasing a copy of my book to support me <3

[lunar-wandering]

head hurty

[tinyplanetss]

cries and cries and cries over shard the metal sonic

[vampiremourning]

anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.

[elftwink]

am currently working on a neocities site (which i cannot give you the url for yet because im working on the css still and there's no content also it looks ugly still) and oh man does it take me back to ye olde days of custom theme editing on here. i still use a custom theme obvs but back in like 2014/2015ish when i was really into indie rp custom themes were all the rage and you would spend hours editing some character specific image for your bg and then another several hours trying to make the css line up with your image (never at any point did i attempt to actually like. learn html or css. i just read other people's theme codes and edited the parts i could understand and solved problems as they arose. i distinctly remember one time i was using a base that had two sidebars and i only wanted one and deleting the section broke the theme in disastrous ways [bc i had no idea what i was doing] so i literally just made all the elements in the sidebar transparent and moved them off the screen LMAO. the best i ever got was moving from fully built custom themes that i edited to base themes that i built off of)

anyway while im slightly better now (im even reading tutorials! am i following them? sorry i have to go i think someones calling me) i am using a layout builder to build the homepage so it is even more reminding me of mid-2010s tumblr. much like building off a base theme, and definitely easier to understand than tumblr theme building (this time i at least know what all the different pieces of code are doing, even when im not sure how or why, or how to duplicate the effect under slightly different circumstances. but progress is progress!).

a good but annoying thing about the layout that im using is that i havent actually edited the site wide stylesheet, just used internal css on that one page, so when i go to make literally any other page i'll have to start from scratch. this is good because i am learning a lot and i think without doing it this way i would end up with a bunch of useless stuff in the stylesheet that really should be page-specific that i would have to correct with internal or inline css later. annoying because what do you mean i have to make decisions about the sizing and positions of the content? i literally just did that

also im kind of nervous to touch the general stylesheet because im pretty sure what i'll actually want to do is have a couple of stylesheets for different 'sections' of the website, to maintain cohesion between pages of the 'same' type but still allow a lot of fun customization on a per-page basis, but that requires deciding what 'sections' i want on the website and that is a whole other can of worms. but also you can't start without starting so i should probably just try to build a really simple layout and go from there (after all, if it sucks, it's not like i can't just create a new stylesheet, or do the css for each page independently until i hit a groove that's actually worth moving to the stylesheet). but also first i have to finish this goddamn homepage. which means i gotta find a header image that doesn't look ugly as shit

[mercurialvixen]

So I've spent the last near decade after my mom died just trying to cease to exist. My only friend is my dog and she is elderly and on her way out. I'm not particularly okay. Trying a momentum thing where I had the revelation, 'what if I just don't lay down and die'. Maybe this will help, maybe not.

[todayisafridaynight]

STILL HAVING SUCH A NORMAL ONE ABOUT THAT RGGJO BUT NO Y7JO GETTING REALLY GOOD AT HOUSEWORK I SEE THE VISION… I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down…

Because I've always wondered how unprepared Jo would've been going into everything. On one hand, he did leave home really young, but since he was working and Ikumi wasn't, one could argue Ikumi would've been the one to handle the housework at least while they were together.

Inversely, I do kiiind of feel like Jo would've done at least Some Things when he could to ease the burden on Ikumi based on his attempt to comfort her at the station. I'm reading way too much into it but it's notable that, despite him definitely being a smoker and them hoping for a miscarriage, the ashtray in their apartment is spotless.

But we only really see his living situation when he's with Ikumi and don't get to see what--if anything--changes when he's on his own, when he has to do everything and not just Some Things. But with regard to food, if you're in survival mode like that, while it is more economical to make food at home, it would make sense that any quality of cooking would be passable. That's not going to fly with a kid who's lived in the lap of luxury his whole life.

So I've always had a lot of feelings about Jo Bettering Himself for Masato's sake (even when Masato isn't necessarily being reasonable) and his overblown neurosis at the prospect of falling short--the post you mentioned in your tags is Exactly It. But, you know, it's cheesy, but I firmly believe he could do whatever he set his mind to, if he can manage to learn Every Martial Art and become a glorified (and very competent) accountant after dropping out of high school.

Also uhhhhhhhh entire post reminded me of this (びら on Pixiv) that's it that's the ask

Ok I'm glad we both caught on to Jo's attempt to console Ikumi and the considerably-clean home. Evidently he was probably self-sufficient enough, but nothing extraordinary- just whatever passed as 'suitable' for them, so it's not as though he's going in totally clueless (but certainly not knowledgeable enough to match Masato's extremely-high standards. Bless Arakawa but he definitely spoiled him a little).

Even if it is a 'cheesy' sentiment, Jo very much has proven that so long as it's for Masato, he's willing to do anything and everything no matter how big (joining the yakuza) or small (probably like. learning how to make quiche)

[ame-to-ame]

Life is weird as arospec asexual bc there's no good way to use words to describe what I feel and my experience that properly conveys it to allosexual alloromantic people

Even if I use vocabulary meant for this there's no way to grasp what it truly feels like, what the lived experience is like for me, because the allosexual doesn't experience it doesn't understand it

And so it's like trying to convey colors to someone with a different perception of color. They experience a reality different to mine. And maybe perception and sensation is the wrong allegory to use, even. Maybe the stimuli we experience is different in the first place. Maybe the sensation is different. But perception is definitely different. And it's hard to tell at which point do things start to differ.

But either way it's hard and I find it increasingly hard to explain myself or want to explain myself. It's so much easier to adopt that language and that culture aside from the gaping feeling that it's not exactly what you're experiencing. I can co-opt the term crush but what I feel. I know. Is not romantic attraction. Maybe some elements are the same but it's definitely diverged somewhere. But is there really a point in explaining the differences or clarifying that it's different? As long as the final goal is achieved does it really matter? Why am I doing this again.

[girlivealwaysbean]

wow when i think about it maybe this year wasn't that bad

[blackcurrant-juice]

please take all of tills period cramps and give them to luka

[jackass-jones]

People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

[genekies]

tag vent

[goethitee]

i survived the day. contemplating ranting abt the dog training podcast i was listening to all day to keep ne awake.

[irishbreakfst]

Saw 4 SEPARATE SPECIES OF BUG IN MY STUPID APARTMENT TODAY (none of them were bed bugs at least but they were some of the other bug species I loathe and fear the most) I know the fact that its really hot is probably the main reason they're being so active and getting in here, but God damn I'm already crawling through zillow to find my next apartment and I've still got 11 months in this lease. If I ever see a cave cricket in this house with my own two eyes I'm breaking the fuckin lease tho I can promise you that

[pup-pee]

the sneepies sneepers even

I WANT 2 DRAW A WHOLE COMIC OF THEIR BED TIME ROUTINE BUT 4 NOW ALL I AHVE IS THIS DOODLE

because of @pup-pee now i have to imagine kon going to bed with a cap/bonnet to protect his hair, while bart has an untamed lion’s mane. kon spends an hour doing a hair and skincare routine before going to bed, while bart, krypto, and dox are literally eating and running around until the last minute before bedtime. no, bart does not comb his hair. kon wants to cry. bart just yaps into konboy’s chest until he passes out. burrito snorkmimimi commences.

[teaboot]

Do you think that cis men feel the same way as trans men do? Like with how men get treated by society as being inherently evil and as predators?

I think maybe both cis and trans men experience these issues but it's easier for a trans guy to point it out because he gets to see people so quickly turn on him for being a man while transitioning

oh yeah definitely

I find "meninists" fucking obnoxious, especially as any of their VALID concerns fall under the bracket of feminism, but there does exist a presence of radfems and terfs that are scarily eager to lash out at anything resembling masculine that. Definitely needs to be addressed somehow

Like. There's a mile of middle ground between "Um yeah women have problems, whatever, but what about ME and MY FEELINGS 😢" and "I am genuinely trying my best to be thoughtful and considerate of others, and everything I do is being met with bad-faith interpretations and dismissal"

And I think the best advice I have for anyone else getting bogged down by this is that. like.

If someone is determined to see the worst in you, nothing you can do to prove otherwise will be enough. You will never change that person's mind. They don't want you to change their mind. So like... just focus on you, and keep doing your best, and learn, and know that people determined to find something nasty don't really have an issue with YOU- they have their own experiences and traumas coloring their worldview.

Someone who is determined to see you as a monster will only ever see a monster. So it's better to ask yourself, "would a monster do what I'm doing?". If the answer is yes, take steps to change that. If the answer is no, then it's not about you, and you can give yourself permission to move on.

So... yeah, I imagine cis men probably do feel the way I feel about this sorta thing sometimes.

Except, like. After a lifetime being a girl, living as a girl, fighting for equality as the only girl in a lot of men's spaces, being a feminist girl and an Eldest Daughter girl and calling out the bullshit only to later realize I'm not a girl... and that Im actually mostly a dude, still a feminist... at least when people call me a mysoginist, I know they're talking out their ass

I can kinda see where young men encounter their very first radfems calling themselves feminists and immediately become radicalized right-wing conservatives cause like. If I as a teen thought feminism meant Radfems and Terfs, I'd probably start running too

It's all just so exhausting

Any one group being wholesale grouped as "100% helpless gentle victim" or "100% selfish malevolent monster" is doomed, imo

(Now watch the notes blow up with "this is just 'not all men' rhetoric, lol)

But anyways I hate nuance I hate interpretation I hate implication and symbolism and context and I wish everything in the world was simpler so we could all blow a collective joint together and invent some new soups