#little drabble-slash-snippet of an idea i had

[eiraeths]

Tim can’t imagine ever taking advantage of someone as imposing as Jason. He can’t imagine Jason as a vulnerable child, which, is stupid. A laundry list of late nights, a lonely kid, and a camera meandering the streets of Gotham to get a glimpse of his very own hero prove otherwise.

Looking at Jason now, a gratling gun personified, it’s hard to picture a person underneath the Red Hood disguise. There’s probably few people who can see the man behind the mask. If there’s anyone.

He wonders if Jason’s the sole person left that remembers he’s someone who’s tangible. Self-made human shield as an act of penance.

He wonders if Jason knows he’s allowed to be a person, that he doesn’t have to be the figure everyone in his life has made him out to be.

Tim’s not childish enough to think of Robin as an untouchable, larger-than-life milestone anymore. He knows that now, experienced it, even. But there’s a little part of him underneath all the grit and grime of experience that looks at Jason and can only see his Robin.

[illshowyourhurricanes]

Rewind, Restart

This S2 Billy Russo fic was, for all intents and purposes, planned (albeit roughly) to be a New Years’ Eve drabble, simple and maybe a touch angsty and done at about 600 words. The only things that stayed the way I planned? This is S2 Billy Russo, and it takes place on NYE. This one grew a mind of its own, and i’m about 99.5% sure it’s going to turn into an all-out series. There is most certainly angst and a lot more to come. Sorry (but only a little).

Special thanks to @the-blind-assassin-12 @ladyofnaps @thesandbeneathmytoes for their input!

Synopsis: Billy Russo returns. You’ll have to read more to find out the significance. No trigger warnings here!

Rating: PG-13ish for some language and implied smut.

Word count: 4078

Taglist: @dylanobrusso @obscurilicious @the-blind-assassin-12 @something-tofightfor @ms-delos @madamrogers​ @lexxierave​ @agent-bossypants​ @yannii04​ @gollyderek​ @carlaangel86​ @poindexted​ @maydayfigment​ @thisisparadisemylove​ @ladyofnaps​ @malionnes​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​

If you would like to be added to or removed from my tag list, please just shoot me an ask! 

Your mind was finally working with you again. You were, for this first time in awhile, having normal thoughts: you had leftovers to reheat for dinner, you had a like of laundry to wash, you had e-mails to respond to. The numb autopilot you’ll been operating on for most of autumn and the beginning of winter were thawing like your fingers after returning to the heat of your home after being out in the snow. 

Finally, the thoughts of Billy Russo, ones that snatched your spirit and tore it to shreds, were no longer holding you hostage. A new year was just there on the horizon, and you’d made a promise to yourself: that man, everything he had stood for, the memory of his cold, black, empty eyes… they’d be no more. The twisted sadness your heart held onto with a tight grip as you’d learned of his demise— and then his escape— would be no more. You wouldn’t allow that man to steal one more second of your happiness, your life. He’d never been worth it, and all the time you’d spent wasting on thoughts of him was time you’d never get back. He had a knack for taking things that weren’t his, even when he was nowhere in sight. It had been well over a year since you’d laid eyes on him and somehow, in that way he always did—that way you used to love— he still crawled under your skin uninvited. He took up residence there, lying dormant only long enough for you to all but forget about him completely before he flared up again, parasitic and vile. You’d had an inflammatory case of the side effects of loving Billy Russo for far too fucking long. In just a few hours, your were bound and determined to be cured. 

The clock on the far wall of your living room ticked with a soft click, one you’d grown so accustomed to, it was rarely noticeable. 10:42. There was no chance of you going back out, leaving your apartment, fighting through the throngs of people— lunatics who had thought it a brilliant idea to spend New Years Eve in New York City. You preferred the solitude of your apartment, a few glasses of wine, and maybe enough of it  enough to assist you in dozing off before the clock struck midnight. 

A half hour later, you were feeling the warmth of the alcohol in your chest, spreading along your insides. For the first time in awhile, there wasn’t a chill lining your bones: even the pads of your fingers and tips of your toes were warm. The trilling of loud laughter and heaviness of uneven thuds— footsteps of a neighbor, you presumed— passed outside your door. Allowing your eyes to close, your rested your head against the back of your couch as the low volume of the television provided a little hum of company. A late Christmas commercial, the one with red and green foil-wrapped Hershey Kisses playing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas’, grabbed your attention just momentarily and your brows knitted together as you picked your head up to glare at the technicolor screen. 

Billy Russo has always hated Christmas. 

**** 

Billy’s mind was fractured. His memory, the pieces of it he still had— It’s like a jigsaw puzzle,, Billy. We just have to fit the pieces together— were as jagged and torn as the puckered scars over his cheeks, his forehead, the bridge of his nose. Those weren’t as bright, not as thick as they once were, but they were blatantly obvious. They’d never heal completely, never disappear. His memories, however, seemed as if they’d never reappear or become more vivid. He remembered nothing concretely past his time in the Marines with the exception of one thing. 

He remembered you. 

Some of the things he recounted were quick snippets and some flickered in half-seconds, like a montage of images on an old television set. A half a second of your smile, the way your entire face lit up, eyes so bright with amusement, they made the lights in Midtown New York seem dull; the way you searched his face, anchoring onto each feature and assessing every single one like it was the first time. Sometimes, he could still feel the feather-light touch of your fingertips trailing over his spine, the tickle of your hair fanning over his shoulder, the malleable way your lips molded to his. 

Then, there were those certain memories, the ones that he savored, lingered in, begged desperately to relive again and again, the ones that lasted longer. He remembered galas, the clinking of glasses, the way he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and the agitation of the anticipation of unlocking the door lightning-fast, murmuring in your ear how you looked stunning in that dress, but it suited the floor better, the dragging of his mouth over your skin. He remembered the almost non-stop giggling in his car after too much champagne, or the way you fell asleep late at night fast and heavy, chattering away one moment and breathing deep and evenly a minute later. He remembered the way you taste, but beyond it all, the memory he carried with him that was more vivid than any other, was your eyes brimming with tears and the way you lifted your chin despite the way you were falling apart when he walked out of your life. Billy had many things to regret, or so he’d been told, but deciding you weren’t worth his time had been the most reprehensible. Yet, Billy had no choice. He had been conditioned to be hard, cold, and callous  The one person who had threatened to challenge that idea was you.

Vanishing hadn’t changed that. There had been a time in Billy’s life where he had the certainty that he was indestructible. He sneered at the thought as he lifted his head and stared into the mirror, his eyes no longer empty, but filled with disdain. But look at you now, Russo.  He turned and grabbed his coat, pulling it on in a rush. Look at you now. 

*****

it was a drunk party-goer knocking on the wrong door. 

11:15,  and you’d heard enough stumbling and loud slurring to fill your lifetime. You’d heard blaring music, reverberating bass. There was undoubtedly  more than one obnoxious party going on in your building. The sheer  number of people attending these parties was, you were sure, well above the lawful maximum capacity.

The knock sounded again, this time louder and with an added urgency. You rolled your eyes upward toward the ceiling, annoyed, but found yourself getting to your feet. Your wine glass was empty, anyway, and you were in dire need of a refill. On your way to the kitchen, you stopped at your door, sliding the chain lock into its slot before inching the door open, speaking though the small gap immediately. 

“Wrong door,” you said abruptly, barely glancing up at the face of the man standing just beyond the threshold. He wore dark jeans, a leather jacket layered over a black hoodie. Your eyes scanned upward, obviously unimpressed with his wardrobe, and for half a second your gaze was drawn to a tawny knit beanie covering his hair. It was only then that you lowered your eyes to his face, and your jaw slacked. Deep gashes slashed the man’s forehead, the bridge of his nose, the angles and planes of his cheeks. Dark stubble hid his chin, yet you suspected there was some degree of damage there, too. 

Your heart immediately began to hammer in your chest. You knew his features, even as distorted as they appeared, and you were met with a lightheaded certainty as you forced yourself to meet his eyes. The deafening sound of your blood rushing in your ears clouded your head and you blinked in absolute disbelief; you couldn’t believe the same pair of inky black eyes had once appeared to be so utterly empty. 

Now, they were bottomless. There was so much held there, so many layers of hurt, of fear, the heaviness of anger, endless questions and a slight shadow of grief and loss. His eyes were wide and you were absolutely certain you had to be imagining the glimpse of glossiness there. Billy Russo didn’t possess so much emotion.

“It’s not the wrong door.” When he finally spoke, words got stuck in your own throat. His New York accent was thicker than you’d ever heard it previously, and his voice was quiet. He wasn’t CEO of Anvil anymore. There was no arrogance, no authority to his tone. “I remembered…” A slight smirk passed over his features for mere seconds before vanishing. It was all the evidence you needed that this man and the man you remembered wee one and the same.“I  remembered the building, the apartment number. I never forgot it.” His voice almost took on a sense of pride and accomplishment, yet his expression had faded away. His eyes, however, bored into yours and you felt almost violated. “I never forgot you.”

Still, you stood stunned, frozen like a statue with your empty wine glass in your hand, unable to move, having trouble comprehending his words. Who was this man? He stood with a slight stature of defeat, skinnier than you remembered him. His mangled cheeks were sallow, hands you remembered roaming over every inch of you stuffed inside coat pockets of a coat the man you’d stupidly let yourself fall in love with would never be caught dead in. 

“Billy…” His name over your tongue felt like home. Some unknown force seemed to come over you and you found yourself undoing the chain lock and taking a few steps back, allowing Billy to come inside. You didn’t know why you’d said his name. You didn’t know what else to say, or how to begin. You were well aware of how seriously hurt he had been and that he had escaped from the hospital he was admitted to, was a wanted man. But for all the things you felt for Billy, there had always been a stark, bold absence of fear. Yes, he was a dangerous man. He could kill without breaking a sweat and you knew as much as he would allow about what he was previously involved in. Presently, however, you possessed a wealth if information he didn’t remember, and it was all unbeknownst to you. You had no idea that Billy’s mind was fractured. 

He followed you inside, the door closing with a soft click behind him. You were hidden behind the refrigerator door, cork of the Cabernet Franc you’d been slowly nursing clenched between your teeth. You filled your glass to the brim this time, pausing before re-corking the bottle. “Wine?” Why were you offering this man who continued to haunt you uninvited a glass of wine? Perhaps you were more buzzed than you thought.

Billy nodded in response, but you had already turned to retrieve a glass, filling it halfway with the crimson liquid. It almost looked like blood. 

You returned to sit across from Billy, reaching to set his drink down in front of him before lowering yourself down into your chair. The picture was one that had been painted many times before, Billy laughing, tie loosened around his neck and long legs stretched and sprawled in front of him as he leaned back in his chair causally. Half the time you’d end up straddling his lap, your face dropping to kiss his full lips, dishes being left for the next morning. 

The man across from you sat tall, his back rod-straight against the back of the chair he occupied. He stared, not with a set of eyes that devoured you, but appraised you instead, almost suspiciously so, yet with no apparent trepidation or hesitation. Your eyes swept over his face once more as you studied his features in the same way. His eyes— they jarred you, struck something in the core of you; you’d never seen anything like them. As he realized you were staring back, they narrowed slightly, darkening into an inky blsck, and for the first time in your life, you felt a slight twinge of fear for Billy. 

As quickly as his reaction came over his face it vanished. Almost stiffly, he shrugged out of his ugly coat, folded the material over once and draped it over the back of his chair. It was followed by the long fingers of one hand pulling the old beanie from his head, and you heard your own sharp intake of breath as you gasped. His hair was cropped close to his scalp, a fraction longer than a buzz cut, the kind your older brother would get in the summertime as a kid. Billy had always had a head full of thick, jet black hair, kept short and close to his scalp at the sides, long strands at the top you loved running your fingers through and tugging at with just enough force. 

Your mouth hung agape and he sniffed, raising his chin high. His gaze was heavy with apprehension and shame, anger sleeping through  He clenched his jaw. “What’s the matter, Y/N?” Hoe voice was low and even, and he sounded a but hoarse. “You look like you seen a ghost.”

Clearing your throat, you blinked before you let your eyes trail down the length of every thick, dark pink, jagged scar— one on his forehead that slashed through his hairline, a lesser one on the left side; a horizontal gash across the bridge of his nose. One cheek boasted a myriad of scattered, messily stitched together areas of his cheek, after-effects of his injuries crossing over one another. His left eye was somehow still intact;  a long, deep scar extended from temple to cheekbone; another an inch below, another closer toward his mouth. 

He tilted his head to the side, raising his brows at your audacity and finally grasping the glass you’d placed in front of him. He gulped half of its contents down before lightly placing it back onto the tabletop, his eyes falling to rest there  He seemed embarrassed. Billy Russo having the capability to be humiliated was almost comedic, but even more so, it was bizarre. It was striking. Beneath it all, it was sad. 

There was a lump in your throat that you couldn’t swallow down and you tugged at the ponytail you had circling your wrist, raking your fingers through your hair before pulling it up and out of your face. Billy was picking at a crack in the oak wood of your kitchen table, eyes still downcast, when you finally spoke. 

“Why are you here, Billy?”

*****

“Why are you here, Billy?”

Why are you here, Billy? He silently thought of his own name with an air of disgust. His head was spinning, fragmented thoughts crashing one into another into another, ricocheting inside his skull.  His face felt hot, flushed with embarrassment and shame, another unwanted something he’d gained, yet never wanted. No one had ever stared at him like that, bold and unwavering, almost as if inspecting his imperfections in an effort to find more that he may have missed, as if he hadn’t lost enough. As if he hadn’t stood in agony in front of a mirror and contradictoraly avoided all reflective surfaces. As if he didn’t put effort forth to shroud the atrocity of what used to be his face under the solace of a hood more often than not, hadn’t been called a freak, was unaware of lips curled in disgust and whispers of contempt. Billy was anything but blissfully unaware. 

He dropped his hand from the table and to his lap, inhaling deeply and slowly. Shaking his head, he knitted his brows together and lifted his hand again only to tap at his head. He ran his hand over his cropped hair, the short strands prickling the palm of his hand. It was an unconscious habit, one he’d developed at some point while locked away in the hospital, confined to his room like a convict in a prison cell, rotting away with cops just outside his door 24-hours a day, seven days a week. He wasn’t a good guy, they’d said. He’d had it coming, this thing that had been done to him. He was dangerous. A felon. 

They were mistaken. They had the wrong guy. Billy was a Marine, he was ranked as a Special

Forces lieutenant. He wasn’t a felon.

He tapped at his skull again, nodding at you finally when the answer to your question dawned on him. His nod was emphatic, almost excited as if he’d solved a riddle no one else had been able to make sense of. Everything’s a riddle. Everything is a goddamn riddle.

“I remembered…” He shook his head, paused and clenched his teeth before correcting himself. “I remember you. And I knew… know, where to find you.” He had a faraway, almost glossy look coating his eyes, and they almost looked familiar, suddenly void of any emotion. He felt the memories, but he didn’t feel them. 

“I remember Frank.” His eyes focused on your face again, looking for any type of reaction to his name. Frank was his family. He was his brother. “I don’t know where to find him.” 

Your face remained the same, almost expressionless except for a slight air of curiosity. Frank was dead. And Billy had no idea. Your heart hammered unevenly in your chest, and you slowly shook your head. You’d heard Billy tell countless stories about his friend, but you’d never met him. That was the shadow of real truth in the answer you gave him “I don’t know where to find him either, Bill.”

Your heart ached for Billy, and for what? He’d abandoned you, he’d looked into your face, peered straight into your eyes and coldly informed you, without any warning at all, that you weren’t worth his time. He stopped calling, stopped texting, stopped coming to your building, stopped whispering in your ear and sending shivers down your spine with his voice like velvet, his lips like satin, his tongue burning like the liking of tiny flames across your skin. He’d offered no further explanation. You simply were not longer worth his time. Perhaps you had always been one of the many women he fucked. Perhaps that’s all you were to him, but the way he’s played the game just didn’t connect. He took you out. You accompanied him to business functions, galas and fundraisers. He spent time at your apartment when he was able, and your relationship never had a title and you didn’t need one. You knew you weren’t the only woman he seeked entertainment from, but you were the one he spent time with both between and away from the sheets. And one day, you became unworthy of his time. 

Several months after Billy, you’d spent yet another weekend inside, blankly flipping through the television channels. Your relationship with Netflix was becoming too serious to suit your tastes. Finally settling on the droll of a contestant’s dull story on Jeopardy!!, his voice was cut off by a breaking news briefing. Billy’s name was read off, a familiar picture of his face on the screen as it had been many times before. Your eyes stung with the telltale prickling of tears, a sense of dread settling in your stomach. Instead of  boasts of company revenue or success, the, CEO and founder of Anvil Security was severely wounded, hospitalized and in critical condition. 

You remembered the way your hands trembled and how you felt unsteady on your feet for days. You remembered how you cried for this man who had shattered your self-worth and how, despite your unshakable belief that you hated him, you even prayed to a higher power you’d never believed in for Billy to pull through.

You remembered the swimming in your head when, months later,  a live news update broke through a commercial break to report that Billy Russo had escaped from Sacred Saints Hospital, and that he was considered armed and dangerous. Jesus, Russo, what have you done? You never expected to see him again. And now that he was there, sitting at your table, asking questions about his best friend, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that, for years now, Frank Castle had been dead. 

“I don’t know, Billy. I’m sorry.” Your voice sounded gentler than you had intended it to. When you saw the way he furiously blinked back the tears that had welled up in his eyes, the two seconds of shock that shot through you due to Billy showing that sort of emotion was overtaken by an overwhelming flood of grief. Frank was all that Billy had left, and Billy was processing that there was a very real possibility that he had lost Frank too. He swallowed hard, rolling his neck from side to side, silently begging for a distraction. 

You demanded yourself to stay in that chair, to remain anchored and concrete. You sanctioned the order to not fall for Billy’s manipulation, not again, but there was nothing about this version of Billy Russo that held any sort of pretense. The Billy you’d believed you’d known, had certainly foolishly loved and, eventually, vengefully hated… that man was no longer existed. He was dead. This man sitting defeated and alone at your kitchen table was the truth behind the man he had— for years—  mastered hiding behind expensive suits, perfect features, irresistible words and carefully calculated, intoxicating  touch. He had been clever, confident, successful, coveted, powerful, rich, and revered. 

And now, aa odd as it struck you, the totality of his belief that he was nothing was tangible in the space between the two of you. It tainted the air, and you understood. You’d felt like nothing before, and at the hands of this man. You’d had far too much pride to ever come out and tell Billy how you felt about him, wary about the consequences. The irony in it all was that he’d still walked out of your life, even without you saying a word. 

“Billy.” You said his name softly, your voice little more than a whisper. You were careful to stand slowly; you didn’t have the details, but it was obvious something much more than the scars littering his face had affected him. Your intuition told you to tread lightly. You stopped half a foot from where he sat, those striking wide eyes of a stranger looking up at you, almost pleading for something… anything. “I thought about you,” you confessed, before you could stop yourself. “I worried.” 

A deep line appeared in the slow furrow of Billy’s brow. He didn’t know what that was like—to be worried about. He felt a hollowness in his chest,  because he was at a loss of words, of a way to react to your words. The beat of silence that passed between the two of you brought to your attention the quiet volume of your television in the next room growing louder with cheering. You heard the noisy applause of neighbors and their intoxicated friends through the thin walls. Midnight. 

With one more step forward, you made sure Billy was aware, that he was watching your movements as you made them. He had always been clever, stealth, one step ahead any fool who was stupid enough to cross paths with him. Perhaps his reflexes were still unparalleled. And he would always be clever. But there was something that warned her to beware; to make sure that Billy wasn’t caught by surprise. He watched every step, every little mannerism— the annoyed bursting back of a chunk of hair that had falling into your face, the unconscious gnawing on your bottom lip as you thought.

Finally, you gently placed a hand on his shoulder. You were surprised to feel the hard muscle beneath the fabric of his hoodie and t-shirt. After meeting his eyes, you leaned down to barely press your lips to his cheek. The corner of your mouth softly grazed the edge of a scar, the one that overlapped over another, connecting with a third. You pulled back to see his lips parted in surprise. For the first time since he appeared on your doorstep, your mouth turned up into a small shadow of a smile. You could at least offer him that. 

“Happy New Year, Billy.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! Can you rec some canon slow burn fics? I love that kind of thing, friends to lovers, case fics etc. I am also new to the fandom and let me tell you - your blog is amazing. ♡

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hi Steph, do you know of any slow build/first proclamation of love fics? Preferably told from Sherlock’s POV or a mix of both, something like “A Road Less Traveled” by verityburns? Thanks

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: do you know any really long slow burn fics that don’t have smut? sorry i really just don’t like smut cause im ace

Hi Nonnies!

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words about my blog, Nonny 1!! I’m glad you’re enjoying it, and welcome to the fandom!!

Second of all, of course I can rec y’all some slow burn fics! I’ve a lot of them! I’ll just give them all to you, and y’all can filter out the AU fics / POV fics, etc. because I always write in my tags if it’s an AU / POV fic if I remember :)

Nonny 3, just check out the fics below for anything not rated above T, and you should be good

Love you, Nonnies, and I hope you find something you’re looking for! (thought I did LOL) so I’ve added it to my MFL section!

FALLING IN LOVE / SLOW BURN / DEV. REL.

See also:

T-RATED Pt. 1: Friends To Lovers Fics || [MOBILE LINK]

Friends to Lovers [FULL POST] || [MOBILE POST]

First Time || [MOBILE]

John Will Never Forget by gelos (bia_mpinto) (NR, 244 w. || Fluff, First Time, Love Confessions) – John will never forget Sherlock’s everything.

Of Locks and Keys by Youarethelightoftheworld (G, 574 w. || H/C, Angst, Falling in Love, Friendship) – He listens to the steady beating of John’s heart and thinks of his own; weak and vulnerable, but aching to be released.

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

Moonshine by CKLizzy (T, 1,408 w. || Cuddling / Snuggling, Touching, Dev. Rel., Bed Sharing, Comfort, Touching) – Sometimes, routines changed. Sequel to “Nightfall”. Part 2 of Solace

I love you, I say by khoshekhskitten (G, 1,576 w. || Pre & Post TRF, Hurt / Comfort, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – “I love you” is a phrase that follows John Watson through his life with Sherlock Holmes.

Blanket Burrito by All_I_need (G, 1,894 w. || Tooth Rotting Fluff, Pining Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Sort-Of Love Confession) – John, a blanket-wrapped burrito of laughing sunshine in a ratty t-shirt, notices. Of all the moments for him to be observant, this is the one he chooses.

Five Times Sherlock gave John a Pebble and One Time John Returned the Gesture by grimmfairy (NR, 1,895 w. || Love Confessions, Penguins and Pebbles, Nervous / Pining Sherlock, Oblivious John) – Sherlock isn’t good with words, so he decides to tell John his feelings the way penguins do, by bringing him pebbles with different meanings. John catches on.

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w. || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

Duvet (green) by Mazarin221b (G, 2,021 w. || Post-THoB, Mind Palace, Revelations, First Kiss) – Sherlock recalibrates and restructures his mind palace so it looks like 221b. What he chooses to put in John’s room is a bit of a surprise, and a revelation.

The Importance of Torn Papers by MyLittleCornerOfSherlock (G, 2,427 w || Pre-Slash, Love Declarations, Fluff) – Little things make a big difference, even little notes of thanks. Small reminders to show he cares.

Where You Are by Mazarin221b (E, 2,478 w. || Beach Sex, First Time, Fluff, Smut, Holidays, Pining) – He can admit he’s secretly a little glad Sherlock didn’t come with him. He needs a break. Sherlock is a handful at the best of times, and the near-constant apologizing, fixing, dealing-with, and following up on is exhausting. The near-constant unrequited attraction is a bit exhausting, too, to be honest, and John could really use a tiny bit of rest from the relentless hammering on his brain and heart.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn’t. A history of the boys, in food.

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR, 3,364 w. || Fake Relationship, Pride Parade, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands by miss_frankenstein (T, 3,731 w. || Kissing in the Rain, Angst With Happy Ending) – In which John and Sherlock finally confront their feelings for each other - as only they would do - in the pouring rain.

Tell Me a Secret, Sherlock Holmes. by DaringlyDomestic (NR, 3,880 w. || Love Confessions, Truth or Dare, Smut, Gentle Explicit Love, Microscopic Angst) – John’s voice is low and seductive, sending a shiver of want crackling through his stomach. Sherlock’s heart beats frantically against his ribcage, and his breathing grows fast as he feels John’s lips flutter against the sensitive skin of his neck. The kiss, if it could really be called that, is so quick and so light that Sherlock is almost convinced he had imagined it. Part 9 of Tumblr Drabble Challenge

Five Times John Cooked Something with Peas and One First Kiss by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (T, 3,915 w. || 5 and Ones, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Cooking / Food, Sick Sherlock, Music, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss) – After John cooks five dinners that slowly reveal their hunger for each other, Sherlock and John finally share a first kiss.

Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w. || Fluff, Singing/Music, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Humour, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss) – After the music halls of Sherlock’s mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he’d rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.

The Sum of His Parts by CommonNonsense (T, 4,311 w. || Body Worship, Pining, First Time) – There are eleven major organ systems in the human body. Sherlock knows about all of them to some degree, but none fascinate him as much as the ones that make up John Watson.

Law of Reciprocals by thequeergiraffe (T, 4,377 w. || Fluff, Angst) – “Law of Reciprocals, is it? You’ve saved my life enough times. I figure, turnabout’s fair play.” Sherlock finds ways to reciprocate his appreciation of John.

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

A Quiet Murmuration by cathedral_carver (T, 4,684 w. || Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing) – Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

Confessions by crimsonwinter (T, 4,711 w. || Love Confessions, Fluff) – John and Sherlock finally confess their love for each other.

How Will I Know? by eragon19 (E, 4,895 w. || Pining, Love Confessions, POV Sherlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Papa Lestrade) – Here was the problem: Sherlock Holmes was completely and irrevocably in love with John Watson, and he had absolutely no idea how to tell him.

Laid Bare by esplanade (T, 6,529 w. || Romance, Fluff, Pining, Angst) – “I suppose it comes as no surprise that I always rather detested grand romantic gestures. They struck me as unnecessary and contrived, feeble attempts at desperately holding together relationships, most of which should have been allowed to fall apart.”

where the good things grow by anchors (M, 7,066 w. || Alternate First Meeting, Magical Realism, Gardens, Tea, Friends to Lovers) – “I have a magic garden.” As come-ons go, John’s heard worse.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych]

Unwasted by patternofdefiance (E, 8,966 w. || Post-S3 / S3 Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Angelo’s, Fluff, First Time, Anal, Cum Play, Flashbacks to ASiB, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Bottomlock, Cuddles, Multiple Orgasms, BJ’s, Bed Sharing) – John finds it three months after he’s moved back. He’s on the hunt for something to make for dinner, is scrounging through the cupboards, when he happens upon the graveyard of pasta boxes Sherlock still seems to create when left to his own devices. Behind seven boxes of pasta, all almost completely empty, is a dark-glassed bottle, with a paler coat of dust.It’s unopened. John’s face falls slack when he sees it, instantly recognises it, and for a long moment he just stands and looks at it.

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary’s death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It’s too late, now, for the things he first denied before he’d ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he’s about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it’s not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w. || Fluff, Slow Burn, Idiots in Love, Experiments) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w. || Nutcracker AU ||  Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy’s present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!)

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E, 15,139 w. || Fake Relationship, Christmas, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Angst & Fluff, BJ’s, Anal) – John is invited to his aunt’s Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John’s family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock.

Everlasting by cypress_tree (M, 16,884 w. || Magical Realism, First Time, Immortality, Angst & Fluff) – Most lives end. A Tuck Everlasting fusion, in which the Holmes brothers have lived for a very, very long time.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn’t. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

At the Heart of it All by SilentAuror (E, 19,812 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Post S3, POV John, Domestics, First Time, Kissing, Romance) – John has been back at Baker Street for four months now and thinks it’s about time they had the Talk to see whether or not they could be more than friends. Sherlock has a lot of uncertainty about this concept for multiple reasons. Unabashed romance.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’re living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn’t understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John’s request.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Tomorrow’s Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a “normal” family. It’s easy enough to pretend when all you’re doing is dropping the act.

Don’t Leave Anything Out by lookupkate (E, 27,422 w. || Epistolary, Falling in Love, Misunderstandings, Alternate First Meeting) – The first letter John writes home from Afghanistan is meant to go to a woman he went on only one date with. How it ends up in Sherlock’s hands is completely innocent. What happens next is not. What do you do when you find out the person you’re in love with has been lying about something as monumental as who they are? What do you do when you’re the one who lied? How on earth do you put the pieces back together?

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 || Sickfic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a “harmless” virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. “You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie’s class and you won’t have to share a room with a stranger?” “Exactly.” Sherlock beamed at him. “Don’t worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us.”

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John’s POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice) – Clara’s American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she’s also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she’s placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Indifelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate…

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

Sentenced by SarahKnight (T, 44,777 w. || Dev. Rel., Alternate S4 Canon, Drama, Angst, Pining, Feelings are Hard) – Virtual series 4 opener. Sherlock’s in prison being targeted by a murderer, John’s married to a pregnant assassin and Moriarty’s back.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case … and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most.An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.(This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w. || Rich Sherlock AU, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Alternate First Meeting) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family’s private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it’s time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock’s first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (E, 62,006 w || First Person Sherlock POV, Pining, Angst, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Sherlock Learns About Himself, Happy Ending) – Sherlock struggles with his feelings for John, makes a mistake, and learns just how important he and John are to each other. Non-BBC Mary / John, but it’s a *complicated* relationship.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief…

The Bells of King’s College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It’s only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths…

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T, 91,009 w. || Fake Relationship, Post-TRF, Case Fic) – John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w. || Alternate Future AU || , Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who’s been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

To Light Another’s Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John’s care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We’re all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors ‘Verse

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate’s secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn’t he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock’s past as events conspire to threaten their future.

MARKED FOR LATER

(these are fics I have in my MFL list for future reading and have not read them yet. Read at your own discretion).

And Then There Were Two by NimWallace (T, 10,194 w. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Angst, Grief / Mourning, Mystery, Cults) – It’s quiet at Baker Street. Too quiet. It’s been a year since Mary died, but only a few months since the events of the Final Problem, and Sherlock and John have fallen into a state of despairing and monotony. So when a case involving a vicious cult on the English Country side appears, they quickly jump to go undercover as Sean Harmony and John Wales. But how can Sherlock keep a delicate John from breaking? And how can John come to terms with his love for his detective? Most importantly, what really happened the night of the Final Problem?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can’t be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade’s team and something happens that will change everything about their lives…

What Friends Do by agirlsname (E, 23,177 w. || Post-ASiP Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Infidelity, First Kiss/Time, Fluff and Smut, Cuddling and Snuggling, Platonic-to-Not-Platonic, Blow/Hand Jobs, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock has never had a friend before. He didn’t even know he wanted one until John moved into 221B. But John quickly becomes essential to him, and their friendship turns more and more intimate. It’s all platonic, of course. All perfectly normal for close friends. Part 1 of the Friends series

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,505 w. || Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes & Funerals, Angst, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression and Insecurity, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock’s closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don’t need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Focal Point by PuffleLock (E, 60,913 w. || Post-TRF Divergence / Different Reunion, POV John, Slow Burn, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad Wank, Sherlock in Makeup, Dancing, Mentions of Torture / Depression / PTSD, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Scars, Rimming, Anal, Toplock, First Kiss / Time, Gay Sherlock / Bi John) – John comes home early from a medical conference to find that every once in awhile, Sherlock can surprise the hell out of him. Can John surprise him back?

First and Only by crimsonwinter (E, 68,390 w. || Kid/Teen/Unilock, Family Drama, Romance, Alternating POV, Slow Burn, Angst & Fluff, Rimming, Anal, Fingering, Grinding/Frottage, Sexual Tension, Oral, Virginity, Switchlock) – Sherlock and John have been inseparable since birth, working through life as neighborhood best friends, attached at the hip. Unfortunately, reality can break up even the closest of us, and John and Sherlock struggle through all that growing up entails. But first loves are unforgettable, and the boys come to realize that their love is the first and only they’ll ever have.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Road Less Traveled Series by verityburns (M, 75,130 w. across 3 works || First Kiss / Time, POV Sherlock First Person, Angst & Fluff, Romance) – Sherlock realises that John’s dating habits involve an unacceptable level of risk… what if he meets an unusually tolerant woman and ends up getting married?

Philia and Eros by distantstarlight (E, 84,660 w. || Historical AU || Friends to Lovers, Time Travel, Kilts, Possessive Behaviour, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Implied Rape/Non-Con) – Love is timeless but time isn’t necessarily linear. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are about to embark on an unintended adventure that will take them far away from the comfortable confines of 221 B Baker Street. Part 1 of Strange Paths

How Long? by TheBritishBourbon (M, 111,010 w. || Kidnapping, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Sherlock, Protective John, PTSD Sherlock, Flashbacks, Dark Themes, Implied Torture) – Sherlock never got to jump off the roof of St. Barts, he never got the chance. Sherlock was abducted and held for 5 years, but now he has escaped. What awaits him as he returns to reality? Part 1 of How Long Universe

Did you feel it? : A soulmates AU by MorganeUK (G, 126,783 w. || Soulmates AU || Kid/Teen/Unilock, Protective Greg, Angst, Big Feels, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mystrade, Injuries, Slow Burn, Anxious John, BAMF John, Protective John, Est. Rel., Happy Ending) – In a world where 0.01% of the population have a soulmate with whom they share pains and violent emotions… what are the odds that an ex-army doctor and an ex-addict detective open their heart and soul enough to found each others?Finally writing a twist on the soulmates trend… Hope you like it!

“Merry Christmas” I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying “I love you” by starrysummernights (E, 136,580+ w. || WIP, chapter missing? || Post S4, Slow Burn, Mary is Not Nice, Christmas, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Parentlock, Past Torture / Rape) – John has moved back into 221B with his daughter Rosie after Mary was killed, but things are not exactly comfortable between him and Sherlock. After everything that has happened, they are trying to become friends again…and maybe something more. What better time than the Christmas season?! Takes place after TLD.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w. || Dystopian AU, Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world’s pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world’s most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned “drashaskaya,” the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London’s pleasure district.

You Go To My Head by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 257,765+ w. across 8 Stories, WiP || Surgeon AU || Medical Realism, Doctor John / Doctor Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Addiction, Angst, Slow Burn, PTSD, Pining, Insecurity) – This series is an alternate universe one, featuring the exciting medical and romantic adventures of doctors Watson (senior neuroanaesthetist) and Holmes (neurosurgeon).

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice /Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (E, 463,024 w. || Parentlock, UST/URT, Pining Sherlock, Grieving John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Slow Burn/Build, Case Fic, First Kiss / Time, Implied/Referenced Suicide & Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sherlock Whump, Panic Attacks) – John expected to be a father some day; he expected to have the house, and the wife and the nice suburban job. Sherlock never expected to have children, in part because he never expected to make it past 30. As it turns out, you don’t get a choice. Crammed into Baker Street with a baby, John struggles with single-parenthood and his own fears, while Sherlock treads the fine line between doing too little and saying too much.

[pandirpus]

The Cringe Wave - the YGO edition

Finally feeling up for tackling this meme! I was tagged by @sunkenscruffycat~

Tagging any and all writers/artists that follow me, if you feel up for it! Please tag me in it, so I’ll definitely see it - I’m curious :>

Rules: 1. Post a quote or short excerpt from your early days of writing/ARTING. (I’m talking old fanfics/ART, slash fics/ART, original fic/ART, etc., that are barely edited and have a ton of technical errors and misspelled words.) This is the cringe part. Don’t edit anything! Let it be horrendous. Don’t Panic. 2. Post a quote or short excerpt from one of your most recent works/WIPs. Something that you’re proud of. Something that you’ve written/ARTED that makes you smile when you read it. 3. Tag a writer/artist you admire, anyone who you think is amazing, new friends, followers, writeblrs, anyone who you’d like to know more about. If you think someone is a great writer/artist and you want to see how they’ve developed their skills, tag them! Everyone started somewhere.

*

So I’ve had this meme sitting around for a while being very indecisive about which fics to choose, until I realized this is an excellent opportunity to compare my old and my more recent YGO fics! :D The Cringe Section:

This is a part of a drabble from my earlier years of writing in English (2011, to be precise). Weirdly enough, I wrote better fics with better English back then, too - it was sort of hit or miss, depending on subject and form of the day. I’m a bit surprised actually that I can read most of my English fic without actively cringing despite their mistakes and flaws! Most cringy fics I wrote back then are cringy due to their subject matter which I often tackled in rather ignorant, superficial ways, but being uncomfortable with a fic content-wise probably does not fit this meme. 

So I opted for something harmless: the Kaiba brothers adopting a kitten. Which is... awkwardly written, to say the least. And the OOCness actively hurts me sdfklfkf

Seto raised an eyebrow when Mokuba looked at the cat that was tugging at the sleeve of his striped pullover. “He thought I might like her because she has so strange eyes”, he said, grinning at his own explanation, as if it was a joke that Seto just didn’t get. “What is with its eyes?”, the CEO asked, impatiently. “They are-…” “Noah said she looks like you.” Mokuba was beaming at him. “You know, we could call her ‘Seto’”. Now Seto was completely convinced that Noah had planned to work his last nerve with that ridiculous idea. Seto felt the urge to yell at Mokuba for daring to call a female kitten by his name, but the younger one already saw his expression and looked down at the floor. “… I knew you’d think this is stupid. I’ll give her back, okay?” Seto felt a sudden rush of guilt, which he surely didn’t feel very often. Only Mokuba could make him feel this miserable. “No, it’s yours”, he said immediately. “You can do with it whatever you want. I don’t care.” Mokuba let the kitten jump to the floor and hugged his brother tightly around his waist. “Thank you, Nii-sama!” Seto sighed, as he awkwardly patted his little brother’s head. Perhaps it was better this way. Now Mokuba had something to occupy him and it would surely make him happy for a while. And if this was the case, Seto would be able to ignore the fact that he was compared to this little fuzzy ball of flees. “As long as it stays out of my room and my bureau…”, he concluded aloud.

But to get to the really cringey stuff, I have to dig out my old German fics that I wrote in 2005 - so here’s a little snippet from my very first fanfic that I posted online, featuring a Yugioh Mary Sue (who crushes on Yami Yugi, of course) and my impeccable sense of humor :,D

Set after a very dramatic moment in which Yami Yugi and the Sue bond over almost killing Seto...

Schließlich sagte Yami leise: "Danke."

"Also hör endlich auf, Trübsal zu blasen!" Ich stand auf, packte ihn an den Schultern und schüttelte ihn kräftig. "Dein Selbstmitleid ist ja nicht zum Aushalten!"

Yami musste lachen: "Schon-gut-mi-na-ko-du-kannst-auf-hö-ren-mich-zu-schüt-teln."

Ich lachte und lies ihn los.

"Danke!" Er grinste. "Du solltest später Milchshaker werden."

"Scherzkeks!", erwiderte ich lachend. Da fiel mir etwas ein: "He, ich weiß ja gar nicht, wie ich dich nennen soll!"

"Du kannst mich ruhig Yugi nennen, dass macht mir nichts aus."

"Das geht doch nicht. Mit zwei Yugis komme ich völlig durcheinander!"

"Meinen richtigen Namen weiß ich leider nicht, aber wenn du darauf bestehst, könntest du mich Yami nennen."

"Yami? Ok, einverstanden." Ich probierte den Namen noch mal aus: "Yami. Weißt du, das klingt irgendwie geheimnisvoll... Oder du schreibst es wie ,yummy' , dann heißt es ,lecker'!"

Bei dem Gedanken fing ich an zu kichern. "YUMMY!"

Yami versuchte, beleidigt auszusehen, doch das brachte mich nur noch mehr zum Lachen.

Ahhh, simpler times :,D But I was obviously having a great time, so go you, past!me, live your teen dreams~

Something I’m Proud Of:

I feel the most appropriate comparison would be some of my more recent YGO fics - and one I’m especially proud of, writing-wise, is Relic, an Atem-centric fic I wrote a year ago. 

Because hey, I finally learned to create an atmosphere and to describe things, instead of stumbling through dialogues with little grounding! :D

Maybe this was why he remembered the little things above all.

He remembered the gravity in Isis’ voice when she predicted the paths of fate, even when they were favourable, as if she was always concerned for the future, and especially for his.

He remembered Mahado’s steadfast presence at his side when they entered the quiet, thick air of a temple sanctuary, the sound of their steps aligned on the stone tiles, and how his calm, low voice would ease Atem’s nervousness and doubt.

He remembered Seth’s challenging, impetuous attitude and how it stood in such contrast to the earnestness with which he performed his duties. Somehow, Atem remembered his provoking smile as vividly as the diligent care in the way his hands would undress and reverently tend to the divine stone-carved body of the god he had sworn his service to.

Something tugged at Atem’s heart, then, like an old ache, and it was to him as if the air about him was heavy with incense and the smell of anointing oil. And there were words, spoken softly, intimately, reciting spells to protect and to guide, as those firm, warm hands carefully wrapped his body in white linen with the same utmost care.

It was not a memory, not quite. It couldn’t be – his body had died and withered long ago even though his soul had lingered on. But with his name he had not only regained the memories of his past self, but also of the body he had once resided in, and as his soul had remained bound to this world, the remnants of his heart, preserved for eternity inside his corpse, connected him to his body still. In a way, Atem had always been aware of it, distant and vague.

Unconsciously, Atem pressed a hand to his left side, tracing a cut that was not there, and the heavy smell of incense mingled with the tangy scent of resin. With his hand on his stomach, he barely felt anything beneath his touch. All inside him was entirely still and quiet, if it weren’t for Yugi’s heartbeat faintly resonating in his chest. But as his fingers brushed over what should have been the swell of his ribs, the cavern of his chest felt strangely full, like it had been lovingly carved out and very carefully filled up again, and the distant smell of resin, herbs and spices did no longer alarm him.

As unsettling as it was to be so aware of his own corpse, there was comfort in it, too, wrapping itself around him like linen bandages, tight, but tender and protecting.

Instead of fear, a weariness pulled at the core of him, as old and ageless as his soul.