#little dick no bitches

[fredpoptheprophet]

Gretta: "This is Sir Dwight, My Champion."

Thief: ....

Gretta: ....

Thief: "This fuckin twink?"

Dwight: "Oh c'mon, dude."

Thief: "This scrawny ass bitch?

Dwight: "You're already robbing us, man."

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

[methoughtsphantom]

silly headcannon #2 that Bruce never got the reference that Jason always made of himself being short round (he always thought it was Jason saying he was short) until after he died and Tim, avid Indiana Jones fan made Bruce watch the movies with him, only the man breaks out crying., sobbing, full on breaking down over the two second scene that is Indy ruffling Short Round’s hair as he explains they first met when he caught the kid stealing from him, and then took him under his wing.

[serveclaudiahonn]

Like and reblog if you're cock is less than seven inches

[mysterycitrus]

huge fan of writing dick grayson from tim drakes perspective, esp post batman rip. it’s like meeting ur favourite boyband member and discovering he’s been lipsynching the whole time

[redsray]

hc that there's a gala hosted on Jason's birthday to honour his memory, and every one of the Wayne kids is obviously required to attend. Jason, naturally, can't—being legally dead, and all—so he enjoys his night watching the security cameras with Babs. Popcorn in hand, he amusedly enjoys his siblings try to fumble their way through a whole gala centred around Jason, all while trying to pretend that he's still dead and they didn't talk to him literally a few hours prior.

Tim: Oh, I never got to officially meet Jason before he died, but from what I hear from Dick and Bruce, he was truly a great soul.

Jason, listening to this: He's totally tryin' not to explode 'cause I ate his pistachios earlier.

Babs: Tim likes pistachios?

Jason: Yea. They're his favourite, so I steal them all the time.

Babs, fondly amused: You know Tim's favourite snack?

Jason: Yeah, so I can steal it. Keep up, Barbie.

Babs: Sure.

Socialite: Dear, would you happen to have any stories about young Jason?

Dick, grinning: Absolutely! Just last w—I mean—the last time we went out shopping before he died. Yeah. That. Last time we went shopping he tripped on the escalator. Should've tied his shoelaces.

Jason: That happened last week.

The thing is, Dick has more free reign over answers, since he knew Jason before he died. Tim has a little bit of leeway, since he can chalk up any stories to small interactions he had with Jason as their neighbour. The rest of the kids, though? They have to keep their mouth shut, because if they slip up they'll be questions.

Things are fine until some of the socialites start 'discreetly' badmouthing Jason, saying that there shouldn't be such a big event happening for a glorified street rat. Jason himself isn't really affected by the comments, used to them already. He's pleasantly surprised when he sees every one of his siblings look absolutely livid on his behalf. He sees his siblings shut down every single rumour, even though they logically don't have to—rumours can't hurt the dead, after all. He watches as most of them defend him despite not being able to say anything about actually knowing him, and decides then and there; he has a call to make and paperwork to sign.

Time to defend himself—hanging out with and defending his siblings in public is just a bonus.

[darkfantasyprincess23]

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

Harry had to sit w Dick & Nix brushing knees for however many hours on that train & still find a way to stay professional & I think that's very brave of him

[violent138]

I just know that Tim can do the coolest tricks no problem on his own, but the second one of his crushes is present he manages to hurl himself into the street, kick the skateboard up into his chin, a single crack in the pavement sends him wobbling forward in a way that makes some child mock him and his crush is like, "Is this a new hobby? I think you're doing... great."

[quaintpanic]

"oh just let people have fun let people enjoy things"

no. everyone has to do what i want forever. no fucking fun allowed no enjoyment. things are only socially acceptable if i personally approve of them. fuck you.

[slaygentford]

erik lehnsherr is the leftist boyfriend who doesnt do the dishes

[teamfemaleledcuckolds]

[brie-annwyl]

Dick: *exasperated* Jason, can you be serious for once???

Jason: you-

Jason: you want me to be-

Jason:

Dick:

Jason:

Dick: I should’ve convinced Bruce to leave you on the streets.

[emdeerm]

*Disappointed Alfred stare tm*

Prompt? Idk, go ham

So, GK Danny has been with Batfamkly for a while now. Like, a few years. He's a freshly adulting adult. He loves his family. A lot of crap in DC canon didn't happen and stuff. He is now a part of JL.

He gets a mission from CW to go to an alternate version of his dimension and fix whatever is happening there.

He gets sent into the world where Gotham War is happening. He is DISAPPOINTED and also horrified, to say the least. His dad is way better. B, take him home pls.

But he has a duty to do. So...

*Loud clap from the sky getting everyone's attention at once*

"Ladies, gentlemen, and others, we are closing this shit show down for maintenance. Please vacate the premises." A person in the sky announced, grabbed the whole batfamily in reach and swooshed away.

[temperamentalaquarius]

So I just read that part of New Titans where Tim is introduced and Dick leaves the comic for a while to train him and look out for him and Bruce. And that confused me because when people talk about that time they always make it seem like Tim became Robin and Dick left immediately and didn’t see any of them for a while until Tim forced him to keep coming back, leaving him to take care of a suicidal Bruce and figure everything out himself. Like New Titans implies Dick was there for weeks if not months specifically for Tim and Bruce. Plus before Tim even arrived Dick was still going after Bruce and trying to help him. That makes Dick and Tim’s relationship so much better to me and I don’t know why people imply it’s the opposite. Maybe for Tim angst?

That's so wild I didn't even know that was a thing that was going around! Dick straight up ghosted the titans to help them out so boo to that. (Also idk I enjoyed the scourge arc last time I read it forever ago so thats a bummer)

I'm inclined to agree, and it's so annoying because Tim has a lot of good angst but the fandom refuses to read comics and go on vibes instead so it's always like. Dick kicked Tim out of Gotham, Jack and Janet Drake were abusively negligent, Bruce only treated Tim as a tool, and other shit that straight up did not occur because they want Tim to be an overworked underappreciated shy kid instead of like. Everyone's favorite teen who loved his parents(rip) and simultaneously had a lot of support but also a lot of pressure put on him because Jason's death had raised the stakes.

I think there's the added bonus of Dick having a target on his back for being the first Robin, so he tends to get his canon actions/lore/traits removed or ignored to serve fanon angst(ie he's stupid, he's murderous, he's callous, he's unsupportive, he doesn't care abt the little ppl etc etc) so another Robin can be propped up when it's literally not a competition. 'Poor little baby Tim was left alone to take care of a megalomaniacal man child because Dick was too in his feelings to help until Tim begged him to😞' is def a good way to do that but whatever that's the hater in me jumping out so I'll end it here lol

[bergselise]