#literally was about to have a full freak out before i had to tell myself. girl. what are you even scared about

[chemicaljacketslut]

just got literally so panicked THINKING about driving. i don’t even have to drive anywhere this weekend i was literally just thinking about what driving on an unfamiliar road is like and almost started hyperventilating

[foldingfittedsheets]

Since I already have established myself as a little pickle freak with no shame I have another extremely embarrassing story that will probably make you laugh.

When I started dating Brendan he was still living at home, but after we'd been dating a while he and his best friend Charlie decided to move in together. Another friend of theirs was looking for roommates and they decided to go for it. It was the lower level of a house.

Here's where I need to set the stage a little. Looking back on the time I spent in that space, I don't actually even know if it could have been nice under other circumstances. I feel almost pity for that house, full of young disgusting boys. Bare and wretched, it had minimal threadbare furniture, no decorations, and the guy who lived there already was hands down the most disgusting person I've ever met.

Not his character, but his habits. This boy's name was Josh. I genuinely don't know if their moving in with Josh was a handshake deal or if they saw the place beforehand. No sane person would ever have chosen to live there otherwise, I feel certain.

There was a kitchen. Sorta. But like. Was there a kitchen? Every counter, the whole sink, everything was just covered in dirty dishes. Brendan and Charlie said, "Josh, you need to do the dishes, we can't even wash anything cause it's so full of dirty dishes."

Josh's response to being asked to clean was to load all the dirty dishes onto a blanket. And then he dragged that blanket down the hall into the laundry room.

Crusted on residue, molding slimes, and horrible odors arose as he moved the blanket. After two months they said, "Josh, you can't just leave your dirty dishes on a blanket in the laundry room."

Josh's response was to drag the blanket of misery and miasmas into his room instead.

Josh didn't shower very much and he was a big guy. At one point I walked past his door when it opened. His girlfriend was crossing to the bathroom and I almost dry heaved directly in front of her. The smell of rotting foot, dried on sweat, and sex musk swirled together into the most eye watering assault my nose had ever faced.

So that's where our story takes place. A home of no hand towels, no soap by the bathroom sink, a blanket covered in months of early-twenties depression dishes.

I was meeting some of these people for the first time on the night of our story. Josh had a crew of two others guys who just hung around constantly. So it's me and five dudes hanging out, chatting, ignoring the various smell scapes to live in the moment. Josh left briefly to go pee.

Then I felt a stabbing in my guts. I shot a panicked look to Brendan and casually said I had to pee too. At that time in my life I was experiencing some of the most god awful IBS I've ever experienced. I knew I was going to make a crime scene in there. To my dismay there was no fan to turn on. But Brendan, like the champion partner he was, started telling a story at extremely high volume to cover the sound of my anus exploding under the force of my anxiety poops.

When I flushed and turned to the sink, I was dismayed. There was no soap. I looked around the bare bathroom and didn't see anything useful. No one had ever wanted to wash their hands here before. I then looked over the tub and spotted a tiny window that I wasn't tall enough to open. I wanted to let out the truly rank and terrible smell I had filled the bathroom with, but I had to give that up as impossible.

I slipped out and quietly said, "Hey, is there dish soap or something to wash my hands?"

"Oh," said one of Josh's friends, "There's a bar of soap by the window, let me grab it for you." This was not unreasonable, because again, I couldn't reach the window but I was doused in fear at the ridicule I was about to face.

He went to the door of the bathroom and literally staggered back from the unholy smell I'd left there. He had his arms up as if to protect his face from the malevolent beast my bowels had left behind. When he turned to us there was tears standing in his eyes.

In this house of awful smells and terrible hygiene, I was the stinkiest monster of all, bringing this boy to tears. I broke out in a sweat, ready to cry myself at the shame that was about to be cast upon me.

But instead. He said, "JOSH!"

"I can't believe you dude! Oh my god! That is the nastiest shit I've ever smelled!!" He waved the door frantically to dilute the awful power of my shit and then plowed through to open the window and air out the bathroom, passing me the soap. "I can't BELIEVE you had to go in there after him, oh my god, use the kitchen sink to wash your hands! It's gnarly!"

Everyone turned to rag on Josh for the newest addition to the gallery of smells in the house and he didn't look at me once. He laughed and pulled my shame onto his shoulders with grace, taking the bullet for me like a true hero. Only Brendan and I knew I was the stinky villain.

Josh never brought it up after, but I remain grateful to this day.

[fsuna]

MODERN LOVE SONGS

⊹ ⋆˚ 𓏲 – minors dni. fem!reader. heavy smut. cucking. cheating. slight voyeurism. daddy kink. unprotected sex. oral (m & f). pussy talking. fingers in a-hole. consensual recording. not proofread. just random song lyrics + hq boys <3 masterlist. tokyo rev version otw.

wakatoshi. bokuto. osamu. atsumu. sakusa. suna. kenma. kuroo.

WAKATOSHI

"never thought i'd leave my kids until i left them in her mouth,"

toshis above you trailing breathless curses as he watches you suck him off threw his lashes- jaw painfully aching as you blow his big dick while he keeps a hand on the back of your head, fingertips coiling within your loose hair. a pinkish hue blushes across his cheeks while your mouth slowly invites his whole length in your throat, the button of your nose nuzzling against his pubs.

your eyes are watery from the countless times his swollen tip had poked at the back of your mouth, spit escaping out from the corners of your lips to run down to his balls. a laugh so sinful that can make you cum untouched from beneath your panties exits from toshi once he notices your signature glittery lip gloss smeared all over the base of his cock and your pigmented mascara plastered past your under eyes.

“such a doll, suckin’ my dick so motherfuckin’ good- missed getting your faced fucked, didn’t you?”

his cock begins to twitch against the walls of your tight throat, panting and swearing nonstop till he’s cumming all up in your mouth, warm semen brimming over to both your lips and chin giving him the best fucking sight he has ever seen.

BOKUTO

"yeah i heard she got surgery, still wanna clap from the back just to see if her ass soft,"

raw dogs pussy from the back like it's the first time he's in one since the day he came out of one every. fucking. time. bo has your kneecaps dug deep in his king sized mattress- the tainted sounds of skin smacking plug your ears as he keeps a strong hand latched on your hip, rocking your lower back and forward against his pungent thrust. he's a tease too, you know- placing his two thumbs over your asshole to maul the nub just so he can feel your wet pussy clench and throb, his fat heavy balls slapping off your ass.

he’s the biggest you’ve ever taken. gosh his dicks so fucking huge, it’s like he gets even bigger every time you see him, but it makes you so wet. so wet you don’t even need to use any form of lubricant for him to stuff you up.

and now he's fucked you so damn stupid that the strength to talk has vanished for you- firm hands setting painful slaps on your naked ass before squeezing it sorely, making sure you'll be able to feel the flaming sensation his gigantic palms left on your bum for the next few days whenever you try to sit. you love it though- in love with how he stretches you out, making you feel so fucking full.

“yeah, you love that, don’t ya, pretty baby? ‘bouta fill this pussy up cause daddy knows that’s what ya want,”

SAKUSA

"you can call her phone and i'll probably answer,”

to him, the timing of this phone call couldn't have been more perfect- knowing you're so so close by the way your velvety walls pulsate against his hard cock on repeat.

“pick it up, baby. your man's callin' you. don't wanna ignore him now do we?”

a real meanie. takes it upon himself to answer your boyfriends phone call, picking up your phone before pressing the speaker button so you talk to the poor guy while he continues to fuck the literal living breathing shit right out of you. right on top of the shared bed with your boyfriend.

god he wants to laugh so freaking badly- pulling out of your messy hole dangerously slow only to pound back inside you with no word other then a sinning grin while he gives your tits a paining smack loud enough for your boyfriend to catch it crystal clear.

"we'll then, pretty? go head and tell him how kiyoomi fuckin' sakusas made you his bitch and you're about to cum all over his big cock, or i'm tellin' him myself."

couple seconds later he’s got you creaming all on his length as your boyfriend from the other line hears you have the most phenomenal, toe curling, life changing, spine tingling orgasm you've ever faced.

AKAASHI

“she callin’ me daddy, i’m somebodies father,”

keijis got your wimpy legs draped over his shoulders, his sweat lined forehead kissing your own as he watches your pretty face expressions shift while your pussy hustles to lure in every inch of his big dick in.

but now he's just as fucked out as you are- hips rutting against yours with more desperation each time- moans becoming more winded once he’s sure he's close to filing you up to the brim. he’s fucked you so good your brains turned into mush, little yelps slipping from your parted lips as you feel every last ragged vein located on his dick draw against your delicate walls.

“fuck- love your cock so much, daddy! don’t want you to stop!

your holding onto his biceps, the tips of your acrylics jagged in his bare flesh as he reaches all of your sensitive points till your poor ol’ cunt milks him dry, womb filling up with his cum before he’s fucking another one in you right after.

“and i fucking love this cunt, angel. want you to be a good girl and take daddys cock one more round for me,”

SUNA

"she came for me twice, i didn't even nut for her once, you know i'm a pleaser,”

the perfect mixture of sweetheart and asshole during sex. when he finds the need, he’ll be a fucking sadist. but he knows how to please you the right way.

rintarōs number one concern is for you to cum. and if he can make it happen more then once before he’s shooting his own load in either one of your holes, then he will.

he looses it once he feels your dripping cunt squeeze him in, hips bucking up and rocking in you harder and harder. just after two orgasms you were awfully cum drunk, eyes crossing ‘n rolling back while he’s got your tits bouncing back and forth as your almost exploding-grip on his varsity team t-shirt tightens.

sunas dragging dreamy moans and whimpers from you as he sinks in his cock deep in your tummy. he cant tear his gaze off the way your puffy folds are sprawled around his dick, sticky body stiffening once his stomach coils from the familiar feeling of his orgasm edging him.

but he doesn’t wanna give in just yet. especially since he’s sure you’re not far yourself from reaching your high once more.

“shit- ‘got the tightest little pussy. think you can cum for me jus’ one more time, angel? c’mon, know you got it in ya, wanna see you cream on me again,”

KUROO

"we gon' make a movie like ray jay and kim kardash,"

bouncing in his strong lap, kuroos iphone’s blocking half of his face as he focuses on recording his pretty girl getting herself off on his cock- filming how desperate you are for his cum while he words the dirtiest things known to man behind that phone of his.

gives your tits a couple smacks before he’s toying with your nipples, wet cunt pulsating around his length once you feel his cold fingertips on your skin. it felt like your pussy was being slip into half- your little hole always striving to compromise to his monstrous size no matter how many times it’s been fucked by his cock.

“soo pretty- my girl wanted to ride me on camera tonight. ‘missed this cute cunt, baby. all fucking mine,”

your sore hips are grinding on his dick, teary eyes closed tightly as you feel all those inches he’s packing inside what really felt like your literal gut. he was near to pulling your first orgasm of that night, cocktip piercing your cervix once you seat back down nice and slow on him one last time till your cums caking his throbbing length- phone getting inches close to your messy cunt that was sparkling from your sweet arousal.

“god look at that shit. f-fucking hell- you gonna make me cum, sweetheart, wanna fill you up so badly,”

OSAMU & ATSUMU

"that p get devoured, told my brother she ours,”

the heavy weight of osamus cock stretches your suffering pussy out, spasming walls never failing to make his dick feel blissed out inside your wet cunt. he can't take his eyes away from it either, watching how his mesmerizing pussy takes all of him in in one piece, your finger nails embellishing his firm back with pigmented scratches.

"look at you, taking ‘samu like a fuckin' champ. wet ass pussy leakin' all over the place. been that desperate for a cock up in you, huh?"

his hips grind up into your cunt, brushing over your cervix as you beg him to keep fucking you harder and harder- to which your wish becomes granted, skin slapping being the only thing heard as he coils your insides till you're completely slurring your words.

the blonde twins got his fingers invading your drooling mouth, chocking your small throat roughly with his middle and index, spit dribbling down your chin while the other twins hips thrust upwards uncontrollably- his tip scarping the sore point inside you.

his cocks so deep inside you it almost burns, making you feel so full. osamus emphasizing each and every praise he voices with a savage thrust, his sweaty abdomen tensing up from your pretty cunt pulsating.

your mouth's falling open dramatically once he lines your hole livid white, squealing noises of your sloppy pussy drowning in his ears while he fucks into you as his slit clears out his cum.

"such a needy slut for my cock. goin' all dumb after a quick fuck. now get up 'n let ‘tsumu fuck all this cum back in ya,"

KENMA

"then you'll end up sittin' all over my bottom lip, baby,"

eats you slowly cause he's sooo in love with your pussy. always savoring your aroma with each kiss and lick he plants on your fluttering folds. loves whispering praises sweet as candy knowing it only gets you wetter and wetter. his pink tongue swirls over your clit, slurping up your addictive arousal as you pull at his two toned strands from above, his hungry moans buzzing against your precious folds.

"holy shit you’re so wet, i make you feel good huh, princess? mmm- taste so fucking good, could eat this cute pussy every single day,”

converses directly with your pussy cause duh? she's got lips too yk- watching your glossy slick spill to your weakened thighs whenever he says something absolutely vile as his head stays buried between your two legs.

groans against your pounding sex as his finger travels to your clit, circulating at it to draw you closer to your orgasm- and you know his gamer fingers are fucking peerless. nothing will ever compare to the way he fucks up into your small hole with them, the tips trailing against your walls as his versed thumb rubs at your clit till he's got you pulling a picasso- painting his pretty fucking face with your cum before he gives you the same treatment back in return.

© FSUNA

[chaifootsteps]

sometimes I see fans say the reason Verosika felt like Blitzo was bad in bed was because he didn't really love her. meanwhile Stolas has no complaints on that front because they're more sexually compatible

honestly, I really disagree. when Ozzie's came out my read on Blitzo's behavior was that it was another way of keeping people at a distance. that he didn't meet Verosika's needs that great because he was self sabotaging again and when that didn't work he picked the nuclear option of stealing her credit cards (in other words, the old 'I'll do something I know is sucky then deny it was that bad to make you break up with me because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself' routine - he snaps back at her in e3 but in e7 he looks regretful when she calls him a heartbreaking freak; knowing he really did hurt her hurts him).

He and Verosika were actually dating and going steady together. They had a real relationship but Blitzo just wasn't emotionally ready for things to get serious or to trust anyone who says they love him. Which Verosika very likely did, she got his literal name tattooed on her arm

Meanwhile with Stolas they're not actually dating so Blitzo doesn't have to get as anxious on that front since he thinks all Stolas wants is sex not love or intimacy, not to mention his entire business is riding on him keeping Stolas sexually satisfied. It seems more likely that Blitzo is the one getting less sexually out of his arrangement with Stolas - even in full moon where he's suddenly the most enthusiastic he's ever been on screen he still takes about sex with Stolas like it's a chore he needs to do and do well ('taking a break from having to plow Stolas', 'now I'll have to do this specific position I was keeping in reserve to keep him happy'). Sure, Blitzo maybe enjoys the sex but fundamentally it's just part of his job (and Stolas in season one was written like someone who had a completely voracious sexual appetite who basically just dragged Blitzo along for the ride)

not to mention how Blitzo seems to derive some of his self esteem from being good at sex - with Verosika that slipped because he had other validation from her in that she presumably liked him as a person before he screwed her over and they broke up

of course now we're in season 2 and trying to make Stol!tz happen by any means necessary it's probably only a matter of time before the whole thing gets flattened into 'Blitzo actually enjoyed being forced into sex where his partner used him like a toy and him missing that is a sign he really loves Stolas!' whereas with Verosika he wasn't actually into her, or something like that

This is an excellent analysis and also tough to read, because you just know all of this is something that would have gone without saying in a better show. Also, that the people saying that Stolas's sexual satisfaction = proof that Blitzo loves him are the same ones who were claiming Blitzo looked tired and absolutely miserable in that picture of them together. You know, this one.

As heartbreaking and fucked up as it would have been, I actually wish they would have left in the "Is this because I couldn't cum a couple of times?" line from Blitzo when Stolas starts to take the book back. It would have been so telling, and I'm sure that's exactly why they cut it.

[sky-the-trans-guy00]

Her PR Guy -Ch.1

hey everyone! I started this fic a really long time ago, and decided to re-write it for a different player! Let me know if you have any requests and/or feedback :)

Feel free to use this idea for a fic if you're interested; I have no problem with re-using ideas.

Disclaimer

I wrote this story with a trans male insert because I, myself, am a trans dude, and there hasn’t been a whole lot of content in this fandom for trans men.

Backstory

Y/N worked for an NWSL team post-grad, as a social media assistant and decided to hop across the pond to work for Arsenal WFC,  after being offered a job as their primary content creator and media person.

Y/N’s POV

I met Alessia while working in Arsenal’s Public Relations Department. I had just moved on from an entry-level position at Bay FC with little to no idea what type of world I was stepping into. Armed with a passion for sports and storytelling, my job was to run the social media accounts, and help craft stories that captivated fans and media members alike. What I didn’t realize at the time, is that my story would be worth telling someday, too.

It was my first media day working for Arsenal, and I was totally freaking out. I mean, this was my dream, one that I had fought tooth and nail for. I had never dared to imagine this possibility, but here I was, and I felt woefully unprepared.

Get it together (Y/N)! We worked so hard to get here, and we got this. The board believes in us, and so do I!! You wanted so badly to have a fresh start, and here it is.

I went over to the players and introduced myself, "Hey everyone, my name's (Y/N), my pronouns are he/him, and I'm your new PR guy." A lot of the players seemed stunned, probably because I'm a guy working for an WSL team, so I decided to clear some things up. “I’m also a proud trans man who knows that the future is female, especially in sports. I’ll be mainly working with the photographers and videographers to get content for our socials, but I’m here if you need anything.”

Alessia’s POV

After Y/N walked away I was still captivated.

“He’s a cute one,” said Leah.

“Definitely,” I replied emphatically.

“He could be just what the doctor ordered, with your recent breakup and everything,” added Lotte

“He’s easy on the eyes, that’s for sure,” Alessia responded while looking at you as you walked away from the team, ”Let’s just hope he isn’t too full of himself….”

Y/N’s POV

It’s been over a month since I introduced myself to the players, and I can’t get Alessia Russo out of my head. She’s been flirting with me since we met, but I can barely function in her presence, not to mention I literally work for the team. Before I can get too in my head about it, I get a call from my buddy Alex.

“Hey (Y/N/N)! How’s the new job going?”

“It’s going well,” I replied, “I think I have a crush on one of the players though…”

“I fail to see the problem bro,” said Alex.

“You are a hot eligible bachelor, and any girl would be lucky to have you. You even told me that two of the players are together, so workplace dating is obviously not a problem.”

“Yeah, but I’m not trying to deal with another Karen incident!” I exclaimed.

Karen was a close friend of mine in college who really fucked me over. I managed her campaign for Student Body President, and when she found out I had a crush on her she flipped out and cut me off, only after she won the election. She ignored me for weeks following her win, and when we finally spoke about what had happened, she told me she thought it was best that we ‘keep it professional.’ To add insult to injury, all of our mutual friends decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for. I tried to take the high road and didn’t tell anyone my side of things until it was too late and they had already taken her side.

“How long are you going to let Karen control your life? You can’t keep giving other people your power, bro.”

I knew that he wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t ready to let go of the past.

“Yeah, but this girl is so out of my league it’s unbelievable. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure she has a girlfriend!”

“You sure about that Y/N?”

“Not entirely, but why would she date a loser like me when she has her pick of almost every queer athlete?”

Much to my chagrin, I was not athletic by any means, which was definitely an insecurity of mine. Deep down, I still felt like the sad, closeted, insecure kid with no friends from Middle and High School, despite all of my work in therapy.

“You may not be athletic, but you’re super kind and loyal as fuck. Trust me when I say that what you think you may lack in physical appearance pales in comparison to the type of person you are. You’re full of green flags— except for your inability to take a good selfie, which most people who know you happen to find endearing. Face it Y/N, the only thing that’s standing in your way is you. You control your own destiny, and you my friend are a catch; remember that.” Said Alex

“Thanks for hyping me up, my guy. I’m definitely going to talk to my therapist about this.” I said.

“As you should, Y/N! I’m here for you if you need anything, and I’m only one call away. You got this homie.”

I ended the call and reflected upon Alex’s advice.

Everything you want is in reach and ripe for the taking, you got this Y/N, I thought to myself.

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

Date night

Warnings: violence

They were nervous that Sam wasn’t actually gonna show up to the date since they knew that she wasn’t easy to trust someone after the events of her ex boyfriend being a literal backstabber. They were in the movie theater waiting for her to show up before they went in. They already bought popcorn and two sodas

Luckily Sam wanted to show up early to the film, so there was a lot of time to spare before the movie actually started. They get a text, but their hands were too full to even check their phone. They didn’t think it was from Sam, since they knew she’d have an idea of the state of their hands at the moment

Next they get a call, which makes them embarrassed. They decide to set down the drinks and the large popcorn at the area where there’s straws and salt/butter to add more of it to the popcorn. Once it was all sat down, they quickly took out their phone to see that an unknown number texted them a picture of them standing by themselves at the theater

The number now calls again since the person knew that they were paying attention now. They decided to not answer the phone, which makes the movie theaters phone go off instead. This freaks them out now as they now decide to call Sam. Once she answers she told them that she was on here way

“Sam I need to tell you something before you get here” they start, which makes her worried. “What’s wrong?” She asked in a worried tone. “Some random number just sent me a picture of myself standing with the large popcorn in my hands with the drinks as well. I’m scared Sam” they say as they begin to shake

Sam’s eyes widened as she now felt worried for their safety. She could hear another person talking on their side, and it was a person arguing that he didn’t know a person with that name to a person on the other line who was clearly using a voice modifier to sound like GhostFace. You didn’t have to be there to know what the person on the other lines voice sounded like with what they’ve told Sam

“Listen dude-“ “no you listen here Brian. You know exactly who I’m talking about. They’re associated with the Sam bitch who killed an innocent man. Do you know how awful that is?” The person on the other side asked Brian. “I don’t actually know what the fuck you’re talking about. You’ve seen way too many Stab films. I’m gonna fucking hang up now”

“How smart. Let’s see how far that’ll get you Brian” the person on the other side hangs up now, which makes the worker relieved that that asshole had finally hung up. Brian looks at them as they were speaking to Sam. “Stay calm, okay? I’ll be there in no time. You’ll be fine too since why would they try killing you in front of others?” Sam asked them, which makes them shrug despite her not being able to see it

“Can you stay on the phone until you get here?” They asked as they continued to shake. “Of course. I’m sorry this is how are date night is going” she says, which makes them immediately tell her that it’s not her fault at all. “It’s this assholes fault, okay?” They said, which makes her reply with a soft okay. “This also isn’t the worst date I’ve been on before” she admits with a small smile on her face

“Oh god. What happened?” They asked her as they start biting their nails. “He freaked out when I told him who my father was” she admits, which makes them feel bad. “I’m sorry Sam” they said after they stopped for a moment on biting their nails. “It’s okay. I have you now, and that’s all that matters” she admitted, which makes them smile and blush

The theater went dark all of the sudden, which makes them worried. “Sam… the lights went out” they said out of fear. “I’m almost there, okay?” She says as they heard screams. They hoped it was just from one of the auditoriums, but it sounded way too real for it to be just from a film. They tightened their grip around their phone as their shaking increases

“Sam, I’m so fucking scared right now” they admitted as they now got stabbed into their shoulder. They scream in agony as they now dropped their phone onto the carpeted floor. They turned to see GhostFace right there. GhostFace goes deeper into their shoulder, which makes them scream even more

They kicked GhostFace away, which luckily worked. They take the knife out of their shoulder, but only continued to scream with the add on of profanity’s. They turned to face GhostFace, just to see that they disappeared. “MOTHERFUCKER!!!” They shouted as they look around frantically to make sure they don’t miss the masked individual again

Sam finally made it, but she couldn’t get in. They noticed Sam, and dashed for the entrance immediately. They get stabbed in the other shoulder blade now as they made it to the door. Sam screams and starts crying as she watches helplessly. They managed to also stab the masked person, which makes the person back off

They turned around quicker this time, and killed the masked person this time. Sam watches in shock at their ability to keep going. The only reason why they could keep going was through adrenaline. Once they killed the masked person for sure, they felt weaker now. They collapsed onto the ground as sirens could be heard in the background

***

Sam sat next to them in their Hospital Room. She had her hand in theirs as tears left her eyes. They were passed out due to the amount of blood they lost. Sam looks at their stitches that were on their shoulders now. She felt like this was entirely her fault, but she knew if they were back right now, they wouldn’t agree with her saying that it was her fault

It makes Sam smile as she carefully kisses their knuckles

[firesnap]

What kind of proof would be sufficient for you to believe Dream didn't groom any one of the girls mentioned in the three main accusations? I'm asking genuinely now - I expected some sort of smoking gun type thing with the way he talked about it and I was quite disappointed with how little actual evidence there was. However, he's attempting to prove a negative here. Basically the only solid proof we could hope to get is a confession about faking all of it from the people behind the accusation, and that's basically impossible for Dream to get. I'm not sure I fully trust him on the Amanda allegations myself, the reason to take the conversation to snapchat seems pretty flimsy to me, like that alone implies some sort of sexual intent to me.

I mean, for me, it would have been not editing the video like he's making a fucking Game Theory and showing his full snapchat history. He literally edited out messages from the logs and cut off from Amanda's logs right before he called her fucking gorgeous and the gift card thing. Like, showing some uncut evidence without making it look like a drama youtuber video would have helped.

And then there's the whole just because Jamie doesn't consider herself a victim doesn't mean he wasn't out there messaging underaged fans sexually explicit content and that was just not debunked. One of the girls he got in the video was revealed to have been the one who SENT Jamie's recorded Snapchat messages to that Twitter burner. So she clearly had an agenda to either burn bridges with her or get his attention and got what she wanted. If he had her there he needed to get her to admit she sent falsified messages or else what's the point.

But really, what evidence could he provide now that he's admitted, multiple times, to straight up lying to his millions of followers in attempts to avoid controversy or consequences. Like, admitting that and then going "but trust me I'm definitely not fabricating anything else" after the lengths he went to lie the other times is fucking absurd.

But it goes back to what people have been saying for months. Whether you consider his behavior grooming or not, he's a fucking freak. He's been using his fanbase for years as emotional, sexual and monetary support while lying and manipulating them. We've seen girls in their 20's and girls as young as 16 all talking about the shit he's done on snapchat and elsewhere. You're telling me, after knowing all the other stuff he's lied about, that doesn't make you go "exactly how many girls have there been."

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Cal can I be greedy for a sec? 💜

🔼🔼🔽🔽◀️▶️◀️▶️🔼🔼🔽🔽◀️▶️◀️▶️

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Maxi, you can always be greedy!

48 for 🔼:

---

 “Oh, right. That’s weird for you.”

“No kidding!” 

“Sorry,” she blushes.

“Are you okay?” Buck asks, genuinely concerned. “You’re talking a lot. Are you on something?”

Maddie’s face flattens. She purses her lips.

“Gee, sorry to bug you, beloved younger brother who I have been caring for during your long recovery.”

“No!’ Buck protests. “I-it’s not bad. It’s not bad at all. It’s just surprising. You’re, uh, not usually so… Full of stories?”

Maddie holds a contemptuous expression for another beat or two before sighing.

“You’re right,” she admits. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately and no one to share it with.”

“Uh, your boyfriend?” Buck suggests.

“I can’t talk to him about everything,” Maddie says. “And you know, it’s still early. We’re not married.”

“Josh?” Buck moves on.

“Great for many things, but not everything.” Maddie says. “For example, I cannot get that guy to go to the mall with me. I don’t have a shopping friend. I haven’t had a shopping friend since university.”

Buck frowns. “I’ll shop with you, Maddie. I just don’t want to think about you or Chim having sex. Ever.”

“You aren’t up for a proper day at an outlet mall.” Maddie says. “But thank you.”

“That’s probably true.” Buck concedes. 

“I think, lately, with more and more distance from Doug, I’ve just been thinking about a lot of the aspects of myself I lost when we were together,” Maddie says. “And one of those things, I think, was having a lot of close friends. Girl friends, really. Which, sorry. Didn’t mean to make you a substitute.”

---

54 for 🧟‍♂️:

---

“I was wary at first too. But, honestly? I think he’s kind of a sweetie.”

“I trust you, Maddie,” Buck promises. “Really.”

“Thanks,” Maddie smiles. She shifts her posture a little. Despite Hen and Chim checking her out and giving her pain killers for her ribs, he can tell she’s in pain. Pain she can’t do much for. 

“Tell me about you,” Maddie says, changing the topic. “I want to know how my little brother ended up in a literal sanctuary at the end of the world.”

Buck smiles softly. “It’s kind of a lucky story. I mean, I’m lucky. Really lucky.”

“No kidding,” she says. “Most people would kill for this.”

Well, they’ve had to. Lots of zombies. A few violent raiders, in the early days. He doesn’t say this part, though.

“Right before the end,” he says instead. “I was dating the head librarian here. Abby. She let us set up here, when things started getting bad. It was supposed to be a community outreach thing at first. But there wasn’t much of a community left.”

“Abby,” Maddie repeats. “I didn’t meet an Abby out there.”

Buck shakes his head. “She’s not… Uh, she’s gone.”

Maddie’s face falls. “I’m sorry.”

Buck shakes his head. “She didn’t die. I mean, maybe she did… I don’t know. She left. To drive to Santa Barbara. To the nursing home where her mom lived.”

“Oh,” Maddie whispers.

“She hasn’t come back yet.” Buck says. 

“Yet?” Maddie asks. 

“I know,” Buck drops his head. “She won’t. But uh… You’re here. So less likely things have happened.”

She smiles at him. But he can tell she’s just trying to appease him. Like everyone else, she thinks Abby is gone.

---

30 for ⚡:

---

 “I don’t need order and routine. I used to live anywhere, work any job. I’m cool.”

Eddie tilts his head to the side a little. “Buck.” 

Buck groans. “Fine. Fine. You’re right. I hate that you can just crack open my head like that.”

Eddie looks smug. “No you don’t. That’s half the reason we’re getting married.”

Buck’s lip twitches. “And the other half is your ass.”

“I knew it.” Eddie chuckles. 

“You’re right,” Buck says again. “It doesn’t matter what happens as long as we get married. I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“Well, I panicked when we started planning the wedding. Fitting you panic now.”

“God forbid no one panics,” Buck agrees. 

“Exactly! Then we might seem too powerful. Intimidating.”

“Wouldn’t want that.” Buck nods sagely. “No one would invite us to their weddings ever again. They’d be too embarrassed.”

---

30 for 🩸:

---

Kim makes a pained noise in the back of her throat at the mention of Shannon’s name. Eddie can’t blame her.

Eddie shakes his head. “That’s not who I see anymore, when I look at her.” 

Sophia takes a deep, shaky breath. Like she’s debating whether or not to trust Eddie. Fair enough. He didn’t trust her with this, either. He should have. He can see that now. 

She lowers the gun. 

Eddie’s shoulders sag with relief. 

“Go,” he tells Kim. 

“He popped my tires!” 

Is she stupid? Sophia is protective and stubborn as hell. She will shoot her. 

“Wreck your wheels,” Eddie grits. 

Kim narrows her eyes at him, but she goes. She grabs her bag from where it lies near Sophia’s feet, leaving her phone in their possession, and goes. The car makes an awful noise as she drives away. 

The moment she’s gone, Eddie drops to his knees in front of Buck. Maddie has opened up his jacket and lifted his sweater, and is in the middle of trying her best to pack his wounds. Eddie shifts so Buck’s head can rest against his thigh, rather than on his jacket balled on the pavement.

“You’re insane,” Eddie accuses. He reaches for Buck’s hand. The right one. The left wrist looks swollen badly. 

“Had to,” Buck mumbles. He’s really pale. He lost too much blood. 

[hikari-drkspc]

↬ yandere! tamaki with an enthusiastic darling

character: amajiki tamaki [boku no hero academia]

warning: yandere, k1dnapping ; MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 635

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 ....i think this was a request from someone but i cant rmmbr wojdkwjdjwj

➳ Your cheerfulness and enthusiasm always have charmed Tamaki. He loves how dazzling you are and has had the longest crush with you.

➳ You always encourage him and give your biggest support to him. He believes that no one else can make him as happy as you could.

➳ He worries a lot for you. You’re always so trusting and kind to others. He’s afraid that the world will “corrupt” you one day and you’ll never be the same again.

➳ So he decided to take matters into his own hands. He needed to keep you away from the world.

➳ He invited you to have a cup of tea with him. Unbeknownst to you, a sedative had been put into the drink and you drank it without any suspicion.

➳ When you woke up, you saw that your right wrist had been chained to a bed. Of course you were freaking out at first but then when you saw Tamaki coming in the room, relief washed over you.

➳ “uh…so…this is..?”

➳ You had asked, while holding up the chain.

➳ Tamaki’s face flushed when he looked at you. He still can’t believe that you were on his bed. He still can’t believe he even DID that.

➳ “You’re too bright for the world. I…I can’t afford you to be corrupted. There’s no need to be afraid. I’ll protect you from the world. Y-you’re safe here…with me.”

➳ This surprised you a bit but what you get from what he said was,

➳ “So…I don’t know if I’m right or not but from what I get…you’re doing this because you love me…right?”

➳ He blushed so hard at your guess. He got so flustered that he stayed quiet for some moments, making you think your statement was wrong.

➳ “Oh, sorry. Was that wrong?”

➳ “No, it wasn’t! You’re right! Sorry….I got a bit flustered….I- I really love you so much that I…”

➳ You lit up and smiled at him.

➳ “What~ So that was really the case? Geez, there’s really no need for this, Tamaki. I love you too, you know.”

➳ You were saying that so playfully that if one does not know better, they would’ve thought you were talking about something that’s under normal circumstances.

➳ When you are CLEARLY being chained to a bed and your captive is literally in front of you.

➳ He didn’t know what to say at first and couldn’t believe his ears. After several attempts of convincing, he finally believed you felt the same way as him.

➳ He unlocked the chain and guided you around the house, since, he certainly WON’T ever let you out.

➳ You found a room that he didn’t let you in and went inside.

➳ Ho boi…it was a room full of pictures of you from walls to ceiling. There’s even a mini shrine dedicated to you. The book shelf was full of notebooks consisting of how much he loves you and 1001 reasons to love you.

➳ When Tamaki saw you in the room, let me tell you, he FREAKED the heck out.

➳ He was so sure you’d be disgusted by him now and he almost started crying when he saw your reaction.

➳ “OMG, Tamaki, you had a SHRINE dedicated to me??? I LOVE YOU! OH GOD, I’VE NEVER FELT SO LOVED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEFORE.”

➳ You probably had shed quite a few tears when you said that. You were so touched by his…love for you.

➳ Tamaki wasn’t expecting that but if you’re happy, then he is too.

➳ And so you lived your life as his sweet, sweet, darling forever and ever after.

➳ Unlocked: Happy Ever After Ending

[bloodibambiidoll]

True form

(Steddie x Succubus!Reader)

Summary: You’re nervous to show your human boyfriends your true succubus form. But you learn pretty quickly you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Warnings: Nudity, sexual themes, some neck kissing, monster/human relationships. Nothing too crazy but if I missed any let me know!! Either way my blog is as always 18+MNDI

A/N: This is just a little Drabble about the characters from my fic The Pull, when I originally wrote that story I was a bit nervous to make her look as inhuman as I wanted to so I’ve been working on this blurb for a bit about her showing them her most true form. Just a cute lil slice of life moment. Wk: 896

“Hold up… so you’re telling me… you’ve been hiding something THAT sexy from us the entire time!?” Your boyfriend Eddie shoots up from where he was lounging on the couch to face you and you snort at his antics.

“I mean… I didn’t know how you would feel about it. There’s definitely been people who were into it but mostly I don’t really show that part of myself, I wasn’t hiding it exactly… I just didn’t mention it.”

“You really thought Eddie wouldn’t be into you having a full on demon thing going on? I thought you were getting to know us baby, but maybe I was wrong.” Your other boyfriend, Steve, who is sitting on the opposite end of the couch teases.

“It’s not that! It definitely crossed my mind because he’s a freak-“

“Hey! I take offense to that, you know!” Eddie huffed.

“You know I mean it in the best way baby…” you bit your lip and winked at him. “But what I was saying is… I’m self conscious about it and I didn’t know how YOU would feel about it Stevie so I just kind of kept it to myself.”

“Sweetheart, I think you’re the hottest fucking thing to ever walk this earth and nothing can change that, not even some horns and a tail.”

“AND wings…” you responded, still self conscious.

“I’ll still love you, WINGS and all. Also did you forget our boyfriend is a literal goblin?”

That made you snort out a laugh. Something you’ve learned about Steve is he always knew what to say to reassure you no matter how big or how small your anxieties were he was always able to comfort you through them with ease. Not that Eddie didn’t, he just had a very different approach, more of a “I’ll roll you a joint and you can smoke it while I give you head” kind of comfort. Which was great too, but sometimes you just needed Steve’s calm voice and soft touches.

“Okay then… I’ll show you.” You stood up and stripped yourself, before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. On your exhale three things happened, little black horns started growing out of the top of your head, the cutest little pointed black tail popped up behind you, and pretty little black wings that reminded Eddie of the bats he had tattooed on his arm grew from your back.

“Holy fuuuuuckkk” Eddie groaned. “You’ve been hiding this from me? God damn baby you look so sexy.” He shifted in his seat, adjusting himself. You could sense his arousal and it not only reassured you but made your mouth water.

“There’s… one more thing. If you want.” You bit your lip in looked into his eyes, yours now that pretty crimson color that almost seemed to glow. When you smiled at him expectantly he could see your fangs and he couldn’t imagine how it could get better than this.

But before he could respond Steve spoke up “There’s more? How could you get any sexier than you are right now? Because shit honey… I never thought I’d be as into this as I am but you’re killing me.”

Your pupils dilate instantly when you look over at him. His beautiful brown eyes blown wide, his prominent bulge in his tight jeans, his jaw clenched. You wanted to fucking sink your teeth into his neck and taste his blood. You’ve yet to do that, or even tell them that’s something you want, but god you know they’d taste so good.

“Okay Stevie, I’ll show you.” You took a deep breath and when you released it just like before you had changed. Your skin was now the same shade of red as your eyes, your wings outstretched proudly on your back, your tail slightly moving from side to side, that sexy little mark on your lower stomach, and those beautiful black horns sitting so pretty on your head. You were magnificent, otherworldly.

“Fucking shit, come here.” Eddie outstretched his hand for you to take as you approached him. “You are by far the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. My little infernal princess.” He kissed the back of your hand, his lips plush and soft against your burning skin.

Steve reached for your other hand to gain your attention and fuck did he look good. His hair was a little disheveled from running his hand through it and the look in his eyes was fucking feral.

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t like this… Eddie’s right, you’re magnificent, ethereal even.” He kissed each individual one of your fingertips, bringing his lips to your palm and down your arm before pulling you down on the couch between him and your shared boyfriend, careful not to crush your wings or tail. Eddie rests his hand on your bare thigh, leaning his head down to kiss along your neck, collar bones, and shoulder. Steve does the same on the opposite side of you, both their hands inching closer to where you wanted them, their mouths moving down your chest. You had never felt more beautiful, content, and full of love. You wanted to bask in this feeling for the rest of your long life. You knew you couldn’t, but for right now you allowed your heart to feel full and just enjoy this moment with your boys, allowing them to worship you. Every part of you.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello. Hi. I have an issue. That’s maybe not a full issue.

So I’m getting married soon-ish (yayyyyyy me) and it’s a queer marriage. Me, she/her, and my partner, she/they. 

My parents are pretty catholic, and aren’t the happiest about my identity, but they’ve not been loud about it. And they’ve gotten to know my partner and they like them. 

Anyway, my mum really wants us to marry in my childhood church. Despite its prejudices, I got lucky there, and I actually met two of my closets friends there. 

It’s in a nice place and hosts a lot of weddings and my partners said she doesn’t mind where we marry as long as they can plan the wedding (apparently I suck at planning things, totally not true… totally).

So I asked. And initially the Reverend was all for it. Until I remembered to tell him it was a queer wedding. Then he was not. 

So we can’t get married there. The laws are lost on me a bit in the UK, but I’ll explain that sort of, in a sec. 

So my parents have made an effort with me and my partner and both of us thought that neither of us give a shit where we marry as long as my fiancé can wear their suit and I can wear my lilac dress (it’s stupid pretty, i’m so excited). 

But this experience put me off. I would rather not get married in a church simply because I want all the people around me on my special day to be totally accepting of me (of course excluding the vaguely homo and trans phobic relatives we both have but we’ve agreed to invite, what can you do?)  

So yeah, I told my mum what happened. And she got so mad. But erm- not at the church. At us. At me… more specifically. She said she’d dreamed of me getting married there my whole life. And I tried to say that maybe this isn’t about her but god forbid anything isn’t about her for more than one fucking minute. 

Long story short i told her i was putting my foot down and not marrying in a church and she freaked out and is now refusing to come unless we do get married in a church. 

So I did some research. The Church of England and Catholic Church (separate things) do not allow same-sex couples to marry in churches at all… I think.

The Church of England will give a blessing inside a church after the marriage (like what is this?) But it’s illegal for an actual wedding by Church of England (so fucking complicated I swear). 

Oh and in general i think if you want a civil marriage (marriage without religious or christian words involved, simply for law, and you know celebrating) you have to find a church no longer registered as a church or something….

But we’re Catholic. And I don’t think they even really have a blessing system yet let alone marriage allowed INSIDE a church. But it’s not about any church, it’s about a Catholic church, for my mum. 

It’s been a while since we got on this well (before everything I just explained that is). We have a rocky relationship but we’ve both had tough lives and I value her. I want her at my wedding. Where I get the incredible privilege of marrying my future partner (privilege because she’s awesome and not because we’re queer since everyone should be able to marry, that’s just equal rights). 

But this is such a mess. Me and my partner haven’t even discussed whether or not it’ll be a civil marriage yet. Since we’re both raised religious and I would say connected to God in our own ways, it might feel bizarre not to have God in our wedding even if it’s just a few lines.

But I also know neither of us wants religion to overpower us. Cause we aren’t doing this marriage to be in front of God, not really, we’re doing it for each other. 

But my mum is a women of her word and she probably won’t come to this wedding if we don’t marry at a big Catholic Church. Which we LITERALLY CAN’T.

And I hate putting this stress on myself. Wedding planning wasn’t going to be stressful (for me anyways since i’m banned from planning cause apparently Im terrible at it). 

So if I were to cave, we’d have to come to some compromise about marrying in an unregistered church or a church that isn’t a part of Church of England or Catholic (so like Methodist, Anglican and a few more). 

And obviously it couldn’t be a civil marriage. 

But there’s just something about having to comprise AGAIN with my own mum just for her to come to my wedding that’s bothering me. 

It doesn’t feel like this is fair. Like I should have to build my plans around her. But I know i’ll regret it if she isn’t there. 

(And in case you’re wondering, my partners been very sweet about all of this and has already started making multiple, different plans and styles for if it’s inside or outside or in a church or in some other building. They find organising fun.) 

Hi hon!

So two years ago I (they/them, but at the time I was she/her) married my wife (she/her) and we dealt with some VERY opinionated family members. Like…my mom threw a fit bc she wanted to WEAR HER WEDDING DRESS TO MY WEDDING.

Anyways.

I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you that this day is about and your partner. My wife and I chose to prioritize our wants and needs on our day, and some people were pissed. Some people didn’t go. But in the end, the day was perfect, because it was about us. I have no regrets about prioritizing us because it was our day and (ideally) you only get married once. But I’m gonna guess the people who threw fits have regrets because they didn’t get to be involved.

Your day is about you, whether people like it or not. Don’t start your married life by compromising your relationship for others. you deserve to be surrounded by only people who support you wholeheartedly. If your mom wants a church wedding, tell her to have her own damn ceremony.

Naming you wedding anon

[bee-barnes-author]

Writing Share Game

tagged by: @tabswrites

tagging: @johnna-oneal-trash-writer @jezwrites @milkhoney531 @violeaes

fuck it, here's the ENTIRE FIRST CHAPTER of my upcoming book, 'THE BEAST IN THE GLASS HOUSE'.

Anticipated release June 10 2025

Trigger Warnings: Misogyny, gore, body horror, graphic descriptions of murder and violence, abuse through controlling food, emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, allegorical rape, abuse of bodily autonomy, rape revenge.

Chapter 1

June

The first time I see you, I fall in love instantly. At the butcher's counter, ignorant to my stare at your back, you ask the clerk, “Can I get a pound and a half of ground beef? Ten percent fat, please.” I can’t pinpoint what it is about you exactly, but I can’t look away.

I’m not finished shopping, nowhere near, but when you take your cart to the cashier, I can’t help but follow along. There’s two couples and their full carts between us, giving me cover so I can watch you. You’re careless with your personal information, and say your phone number out loud instead of typing it into the pin pad. Thanks, in part, to my condition, I have a fantastic memory. This means I don’t need to scramble for a pen to write your number on the back of my hand. 

I pay for the rosemary sprigs and half dozen eggs that are in my cart, and make my way to the parking lot. If you’re still here, I can catch your license plate tag, too, but I don’t want to make a fool of myself by rushing outside. A small part of my brain wonders why I’m so immediately connected to you. It’s not your looks that stole my breath away, though you aren’t lacking in that department by any means.

It’s something about your spirit. Something about the way your energy rolls off of you in waves, and crashes carelessly through others. I swallow down an eager, “Aha!” when I spot you in the parking lot, half folded into the trunk of a white Subaru. You deposit your armload of groceries, straighten, and close the trunk.

The way the sun glints off your hair stops me in my tracks. Then it hits me. You’re my mate. Oh. Of course you are. Finally. I’m on the older end of thirty. Until now, it felt like I would never find my perfect other half. I’m so stunned by the realization that I forget to note your plates as you drive by.

I know how that sounds, okay? It’s not like that—I’m not a freak with ill intent. I am simply a man in love, who has access to a wide variety of resources. One of those resources is a man named Mister Chance. He finds people for me. I don't ask how he does it; I don’t care either. All that matters is that he gets fast results and covers his tracks.

Instead of going back inside the grocery store to get the salmon filets I had originally planned on picking up, I go to my car. Once I’m home, I make two calls. One to Mister Chance and the other to a nearby sushi restaurant. I order a deconstructed sushi bowl with an extra serving of seaweed salad and a large side of fried calamari. My personal chef is off for the evening. I promised Elijah he could enjoy his date without interruption, and I intend to uphold my commitment. 

Mister Chance is quick. Faster than the delivery boy on his moped. I’ve learned your name before I even have my chopsticks cracked open. Freya Moore. It sounds like an alias but Chance promises it’s God-given.

I have your address. The numbers dance across the computer screen as I stare. According to the map, you’re just over thirty minutes away by car. It takes every ounce of restraint I have to stop myself from going to your home right now. I want to discard my dinner and wait outside your window with a boombox like a love-struck idiot.

But I don’t. I eat my dinner and listen to Mister Chance tell me about you. You’re young, but that can’t be helped. Love is love and you’re, quite literally, my soulmate. Fortunately, twenty-two is a perfectly legal age for me to date publicly. I’ll learn to ignore the inevitable ribbing I’m to get from Elijah. Anyone seriously bothered by the age gap can fuck off, for all I care.

Sushi bowl in hand, I pace the length of my third-floor bedroom. My skin itches like it’s the night before the full moon. It’s been a long, long time since I had to battle for control over my instincts like this. I feel like a teenager again. Every nerve inside me screams at the distance between us. I need to be close to you.

My mind keeps rushing to catastrophic disasters that you could suffer while away from the safety I offer. Dozens of irrational scenarios that I can’t stop conjuring. Are you giving me an anxiety disorder, Freya? Is this what loving you feels like? I take a moment to pity your ex’s before I wish death upon them for touching you. No one will touch you but me from now on.

The only exception will be our children. A thrill sings down my spine at the thought. You will rebuild my pack. My perfect human mate. We’ll be the pride of the west coast again. An exemplary family that lycans across the nation will look up to.

My phone beeps. Mister Chance follows up our phone call with an email detailing everything we already discussed and much, much more. Including your work schedule, a digital clone of your phone so I can see everything you do on it as you do it, and access to your desktop computer if I want it. Hell, I can even sit in on your therapy appointments. I shoot a message to my assistant to let him know I won’t be in the office tomorrow.

I’ll be busy learning about you.

I finish dinner reading through medical files from your childhood. You had a suspicious amount of broken bones and emergency room visits all chalked up to youthful clumsiness. Apparently, you grew into your limbs and developed grace around fourteen because those visits stopped. Coincidentally, that was also around the time your father died from taking a nasty tumble down the stairs. They found no signs of foul play. Good for you.

For the moment, I set thoughts of you aside and go take a shower. I do my usual thorough routine, not skipping a step. I’m in no rush. Unless I’ve got a woman with me, I only take cold showers. Men like me, we run hot. Things get sweaty, so I take two showers a day to avoid stinking.

I crawl between my sheets with a smile on my face. Tomorrow, after breakfast, I’ll take a drive to see you.

Goodnight, darling.

***

The next day, blinking against the harsh morning sun even behind my sunglasses, I stand across the street from your place. There’s a Starbucks within eyeshot of your apartment building. I stop by for a black coffee. Of course I pay with cash. The timestamps on your bank statements imply that this is the place you get your morning brew when you’re in the mood for something more complex than black coffee and almond milk creamer.

You’re already two hours deep into your workday at the costume shop by the time I take my first sip. It’s not good but not bad either. I’ve just had better. My machine at home makes a much better cup. 

I’m waiting for your roommate to leave while I read about her on my phone. Cindi Song—twenty-one, about to turn twenty-two in a few weeks—a full-time waitress in a full-time sports medicine program. A hard worker if ever there was one. I appreciate people with work ethics like Cindi’s. Her file mentions she’s in daily contact with her mother. Her mother also regularly sends you two small gifts she finds while online shopping.

I hear the barista's stomach digesting her breakfast. Gas bubbles in her gut. The sound travels like rocks through a tunnel, but I’m the only one that can hear it. Phlegm crackles in the throat of the old woman ordering her drink. The smell of the burned milk invades my nostrils and I take my not-good-not-bad cup of coffee with me to sit out in the sun. Ever since I saw you, my senses have heightened to a painful degree, like I’m subconsciously straining to find you at all times. I feel raw and on-edge. Normally, I wouldn’t give a shit about the mild noise inside the shop, but you’ve knocked me off balance.

Before long, Cindi opens the front door to your shared apartment. She’s in form-fitting athleisure wear with her big backpack protruding over both of her shoulders. She’s pulled her shiny black hair up into a high ponytail that bounces rhythmically as she jogs to her car.

I wait twenty minutes before I get up, toss my mostly full cup in the garbage, and jog off in the opposite direction that Cindi drove. A full block down, I cross the street, then make my way through the back of the complex to your unit. Casually, I walk to the sliding glass door on your patio and test the lock. It doesn’t budge. Good. At least you’re smart enough not to leave this unsecured.

It’s easy for me to grasp the handle with one hand, and grip the opposite edge of the glass with the other. Then all I have to do is lift it and wiggle it for a moment. I glance around as the lock pops open to make sure there aren’t any eyes on me. As far as I can tell, I’m in the clear, so I slip inside and slide the door shut behind me. Blinds and curtains closed, I’m left in a dark living room.

Even from out here, it’s easy to tell which room is yours. I recognize your scent from the dozens I came across at the grocery store yesterday. Your sweat smells like onions and musk. I love onions. Your room is tidy, but could still use a good dusting. I spy your bed pressed against the far wall. It’s dressed with a set of spring green sheets and a canary yellow blanket.

You have two pillows, and a giant stuffed husky dog resting at the top of the bed. Laundry detergent wafts up from the cotton sheets. It’s clear you washed your bedding in the past few days. I sit on the edge of your mattress and take the room in. You have two bookshelves. One is chock full of novels, mostly fantasies and thrillers. You’ve organized them by color. You stuffed the second bookcase with manga, and different gaming devices take up the remaining shelf.

In front of your window is your desktop computer. It’s a cheap gaming rig, but you have decent enough monitors that I don’t feel the immediate need to replace them. When you’re mine, you’ll have the best of everything. While I’m thinking of your shopping list, I decide to buy a sliding door lock and ship it to you under Mrs. Songs’ name.

I can’t do that until I have a key, though, so I head out of your room and into the kitchen to search the drawers. The website for your apartment complex stated they give one key per tenant over the age of eighteen, plus one to have as a spare before they charge for extras. I just hope you haven’t already gone through your free copy.

The universe must be thinking good thoughts about soulmates because I find it in the first drawer I open. Glued to the thick cardstock that was stamped with the apartment logo was the very key I wanted.

After I tuck my shiny new key into my pocket, I leave through the same sliding glass doors that granted me entry. With my keen eye for detail, I scan your home one last time to make certain I leave the inside of your apartment as close to the way I found it as possible. Speaking of your apartment, I hate it. As I leave, music pumps from your neighbors' unit, despite it being before noon on a weekday. Marijuana and tobacco smoke stink up the air. You’re surrounded by losers and dropouts. Useless members of society. As soon as I can, I’m moving you into my home. And if I can’t get you to move in with me, I’ll put you up in a penthouse downtown.

Never forget that your mate is a very wealthy man, my sweet girl. I won’t claim to be the wealthiest man in the world, but I know for a fact I’m quite high on that list. That much money gives me access to a frankly obscene level of influence over the world.

And yet my pack is weak.

We are fifteen men strong, but just that- we are only men; even among those chosen few, I’m the only born werewolf. I turned the rest of them over the course of the past decade as they proved their worth. It takes a spectacular amount of self control to turn someone. Vampires have it easy. All they have to do is share blood, stop the initiate’s heart however you please, then bury the corpse and wait for the fledgling vampire to rise in their own time.

Werewolves have a much harder time propagating our species. In order for me to turn a human into a lycanthrope, I must attack them. A single bite won’t do it. They have to be mauled so viciously that their immune systems crash, thus allowing the werewolf virus to infect them. Even then, it’s not guaranteed. The initiate must survive the fever and their injuries.

It’s better to allow the infection to spread over the course of a month, where it will grow to its ultimate form under the light of the full moon. This allows the initiate to adjust physically and mentally to their new bodies and new instincts. As the alpha of my pack, I take the month to bond with my new beta.

I bring them to my family’s estate in the mountains where we once had a very lucrative silver mine. Believe me, the irony is not lost on me. A family of werewolves that owns a silver mine? Ridiculous. Yet, own it we do. Of course, we had none of our kind down in the mine shafts themselves. We kept them above ground where they wouldn’t die of silver poisoning just by breathing the air.

The veins have dried up in the past thirty years, so now the property is used to contain newly turned wolves. Even though it’s only us out there for hundreds of miles, I don’t let my wolves run around, causing havoc. Until they’re under my control, and won’t lose themselves to their instincts, they stay in the mines on full moons.

If they don’t submit by the end of the first night, I break their will before the moon thins. I do not allow any wolf to deny my status. If they are in my pack, they bend to my whim. Loyalty is an utmost priority. If they can’t commit to the pack, I rip their hearts out. Fortunately, I’ve only ever lost one new wolf in such a manner. The fifteen other men I’ve turned so far have become integral to my way of life.

They’re all employees of mine. My driver, my private security team, my home chef, my doctor, my lawyer, and the two groundskeepers that stay year round on the mountain to manage the estate and keep the property in shape are in my pack. 

Born werewolves like me are rare. Our mothers are humans, but come from lycan bloodlines. Meaning they carry the werewolf gene. Then, when combined with our werewolf father's genes, we born werewolves greet the world, kicking and screaming. You don’t seem to come from a lycan bloodline, but deep in my gut, I know you’ll provide me with lycan children.

A handful of blocks away from my destination, I pull a KN-95 mask out of its plastic wrap and stick it on my face. Then I put a plain dark blue baseball cap on. I tie it all together with a pair of thick wire-rim glasses.

As a werewolf, my eyesight is better than the best human's. The lenses are just for show. I don’t want you to recognize me later when I truly introduce myself. I want you to fall in love with a stranger who sweeps you off your feet and leaves you aching for more.

What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.

I park my car outside of the business next to Costume Avenue. You’re visible through the front windows, even though you’re tucked towards the back of the shop. I have a clear line of sight. That must have been on purpose.

Half the reviews on Google are about you, so I don’t doubt that you’re a large draw for business. It makes sense your boss wants you to be easy for customers to find from the front door. Not many places have a full time historical customer on staff and your work is more than worth boasting over. For example, recently, an up-and-coming starlet wore one of your gowns to the Oscars after-party. 

If you hadn't left so fast last night, perhaps we could have hit it off naturally. Your timing is off, is all. I have to admit, as impatient as I am to be with you, I appreciate the opportunity to learn about you. I didn’t become the rich and powerful man I am today by jumping the gun and rushing into things. In business and in love, I need to keep my wits. 

I can’t wait too long, though. If I’m too slow to act on our soulmate bond, the possessive animal in my blood will lash out. I might wake up one day on your porch, naked as the day I was born, my wolf having brought us there to paw pathetically at your door while I was sleeping.

The double doors of the building are wide open to welcome in both customers and the cool late spring air. There aren’t any heads bobbing around inside aside from yours. You get up from your sewing chair to stretch and take a walk around the building, tidying shelves and racks as you pass them. You stand in the doorway to glance at the parking lot and your gaze passes over me as if I’m not even there. Good.

Your cell phone rings and you glance around for customers. Seeing none, you answer it. Your smile makes you look younger. “Hey! I can’t talk for long. I’m at work. What’s up?” I hear you say as a greeting to whoever is on the other end of the call.

A woman's voice says, “I’ll be quick. Shaun wants to know if I can cover his shift Saturday night, so I was hoping we could have girls' night Friday night instead?”

You tilt your head slightly in thought and make a wincing expression. “Saturday is two for one at the Forty-Five, though.”

“Please, Freya?” The woman wheedles, “I’ve been trying to get an in with Shaun for so long! This is my chance!”

You roll your eyes. “You cover his shift at least once a month.”

“But I can feel this time is different! I’m so close to getting into his study group I can taste it.”

You laugh, and it’s musical. “Okay, fine, but you’re buying the drinks.”

“Deal!” Your friend is grinning. I can hear it in her voice. “I’ll see you there at eight?”

“Friday night. Eight o’clock.” You agree, and the two of you exchange goodbyes before you hang up.

I’ve never been to The Forty-Five, but I’ve heard about it from my men. It’s supposed to be a respectable sort of place, and quite expensive, so I understand your hesitancy to agree to full priced drinks. You won’t have to worry about that, though. I’ll take care of you.

I start my car and drive back to my house. I think it’s time we meet face to face, and what better spot to fall in love than on the dancefloor?

[gerbiloftriumph]

Floating Castle Liveblog (second read)

Turns out I just can't stay away from this book, or stop myself from doing live updates on Goodreads, probably to the irritation of my followers there and to the chagrin of the website itself, which is now overwriting old updates with newer ones, thus, my need to post them all here. For posterity.

And because I love Telgrin just that much.

March 17, 2019 –

page 0

I feel a sad reading funk coming on and the only way I can think to save it is with my boi, the greatest sassy villain ever, Telgrin. Awww yiss (I don't feel the mood for Princess Bride for once, so next step down it is). Feel free to follow along as I keysmash glee about this doofy lame villain and his impractical floating castle (usingthekqreddit's.pdfshackcoughahhhhkkk you didn't hear that from me.)

page 3

It just cracks me up to see a literal castle sailing by in the storm. Alex can pretend all he likes that it’s just a cloud formation—it’s still dang wacky and impractical.

page 8

Graham: Did you see anything weird out there? Alexander: Well, I mean. A literal floating castle, probably? Graham: Yes, that sounds sensible. Carry on. I’m grinning like a fool and I’m not even ten pages in. This book is my flavor of perfect delight, glossy purple prose and all.

page 11

The fact that Telgrin's castle is in a perpetual thundercloud? He's the sort of dude who would, in a modern au, just listen to the rainymood app constantly. I feel it deeeeeeep in my soul. The anticipation of the plot points has me positively grinning and I keep telling myself, "No, slow down and enjoy. The kelpie and troll and frog and tree wizard and all aren't going anywhere. It's okay."

page 14

I want to scoop Graham up in a big hug. He seems like a great person, such a strong king. Showing nothing but peace and respect to everyone, regardless of social status, who comes in talking about that Spooky Castle, and he's completely chill *until* he's alone with Alexander and can finally drop that mask and honestly show his fear. Even if you're unfamiliar with the source material, this is good character detail.

page 17

"A strange castle has intruded upon the peace of Daventry. I think it fair to assume that only a powerful magic could have transported it here." No, Graham, flying castles are perfectly normal things. Like birds. (here comes telgrin the sassmaster i'm so exciiiitedddd)

page 18

"While Graham occupied the throne, what misfortune could long hold sway over Daventry? What evil could prevail?" cough foreshadowing cough cough hack wheeze

page 19

I still believe with my whole heart that this bearded and blustery and large Sir Brian is a reference to Brian Blessed and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

page 21

Heeeeeeere's Telgrin! Struttin' in, debris from the door all in a cloud, swinging that stupid crystal staff in step with his walk, and freaking "pleased by the dumbfounded reaction his appearance had caused." My melodramatic diva. Let's do thiiiiis.

page 22

Graham, furious, demands to know why Telgrin's here. Telgrin flings back his head and cackles: "'Who am I? Why, I am your new neighbor! Have you not seen my castle there in the distance?' The man paused. He seemed to expect Graham to say something then, but the king simply stared at him. This seemed to unnerve the stranger somewhat" because how do you banter in silence? You can't be the sassmaster if no one plays! :3

page 23

Telgrin wouldn't come to the castle to announce himself as Ye Olde Villain until Graham had summoned a full contingent of knights. Telgrin, Sassmaster and Diva, requires a proper audience before strutting around. <3

page 23

"Do you seriously believe that simply declaring yourself king will make you king in truth?" "*Believe* it? I know it. It is a fact. Who can dispute it?" Graham rose slowly from his throne, straightened to his full height. Unblinking, his gaze was fixed upon Telgrin. "*I* can." "You dare defy me?" "I do." A twisted smile tugged briefly at the corners of Telgrin's mouth. "Good. I was rather hoping you would." Sassy.

page 25

Telgrin is so blissed out on his own sassy triumph that we could SO EASILY dropkick him and snap that stupid crystal staff in half and we'd win and the book would be over in a mere 30 pages. I swear, he's not watching his back at all. Alexander, take him out at the knees! ...or, don't. That's fine. We contracted a full novel from Sierra. I get it.

page 32

I want a Valanice book. I want this series to be a quartet instead of a trilogy. I want this so deep in my soul.

page 32

TREE WIZARD. I can't stop grinning; I love tree wizard. He's trying to nod and shrug and he doesn't have shoulders so he can't, because he's a TREE.

page 40

"Telgrin is a stealer of souls." "A stealer of souls? What's that?" Alexander, the name is on the tin. It isn't hard to figure out.

page 41

I know I should stop updating every few pages. I'm spoiling things and probably being annoying but it's been a long weekend and this is Exactly my flavor of comedy: tree wizard is offering Cyril to Alex, since he "'does all those things that I can no longer do for myself. And he is very good at keeping the woodpeckers away.' This did not sound like the sort of help that Alexander was looking for." Be polite, Alex. :3

page 45

Of all the things I remember from reading this book a year ago, Tree Wizard and his Tea is one of my top favorite mental images. Doesn't matter that we're slowly turning into a tree. Tea time is very important and we will Not miss it. There's even fanart of Tree Wizard and his tea on Tumblr, that's how important it is.

page 45

Alexander (paraphrased): "Sooo...do you know how to stop being a tree?" Morowyn: "Oh, yeah, totes figured that out. Could do it whenever I wanted. Kinda has a drawback, though." Alexander: "Yeah? What's that?" Morowyn: "I would immediately die." Alexander: "......yep, that's a drawback."

March 19, 2019

page 57

“Do you know where to look for a soul? Have you ever seen one?” One would assume it’s glowy and vaguely Graham-shaped.

page 64

I can not believe I forgot about this Literal Ringwraith character. It’s...just a Ringwraith. Pure and simple and obvious.

page 74

I did remember the Literal Lembas Bread, though. Fantasy tropes! *jazz hands*

page 78

One of the classic fantasy tropes is doing a long walk from point a to point b. I’ve got to give Mills credit: I don’t think I’ve read any other book that fills its protagonists up with magic bread that induces energetic power-walking before.

page 80

I remember being annoyed by this conversation the first time, but that was before I realized I held a Masterpiece of High Literature in my hands: “Good apple,” Cyril said. “Very good.” “Sweet.” “Mmm.”

page 87

“A rope, some apples,” Cyril said, frowning. “I still don’t see what you’re planning.” It’s called A Sierra Solution, Cyril, and they only make sense half the time, because this game series is haaaaard.

page 90

Kelpie rodeo. In what sensible fantasy novel would this be allowed? None, man. I love this book. [gerbil note: this scene also has fanart, because this book is amazing]

March 19, 2019

page 97

Alexander: Ho there! Sir Ogre! Ogre: /what did you call me/?! At least, that’s how it should go.

[gerbil note again: i did totally steal this very lame joke for captive crown later on and i'm not even sorry about it]

page 100

I didn’t quite realize how dorky this was the first time, but now I’m paying attention I’ve realized: Telgrin has exactly One lone storm cloud that occasionally spits out a lightning bolt, just hovering over the tower. In my head, this looks like a Winnie the Pooh cloud. Is that all the magic he could summon? One tiny cloud? Lame, and yet So On Brand for my sassmaster.

page 107

We've now entered the Road to El Dorado sequence of the book and I'm perfectly content. Barrel scene eheheheheeeee

page 112

Once again, the book stresses, it is but *one* cloud. One very black and lightning filled cloud, but a single cloud, nevertheless, providing all the ambient noise and mood. I find this bizarrely hilarious. It feels like Telgrin's equivalent of keeping his phone on low battery mode so he can keep using the Rainymood app.

page 120

The sassmaster's lair is just the most Extra thing. It's like he read a book on what villains are supposed to do, so he did it. He's got it all: high ceilings that vanish to dark, ludicrous amounts of moldering velvet curtains, "hideously ornate" braziers, and a perfectly silly black throne. Telgrin, pleaaase this is so unnecessary and not remotely sensible. You've copied someone else's homework, and badly. ilu.

page 121

And Alexander refuses to play the game. Telgrin has all these expectations on how this conversation is meant to go, he's basically reciting a script, and Alexander's just like, "Uhhhh....what?" So Telgrin moves on to Cyril, like Cyril will play along properly. I just can't. I love Telgrin to unfeasible levels of nonsense.

page 122

(Incidentally, I'm still kinda salty that Graham's soul isn't in the throne room, wedged in Telgrin's overly-flashy staff. It just feels more right than where he *actually* is.)

page 123

"You are an evil man." "So it has been said." Telgrin shrugged. "Personally I've always found that such abstractions do not apply well to life in the real world. They make matters that are by their very nature complex seem rather too simple, don't you think?" "Evil," Alexander repeated. Telgrin sighed. "I can see that you're really not up to a probing and dispassionate philosophical discussion" Modern AU: he's a Bro

page 125

I'm fairly certain this reference to Alexander having a hard time with stairs is a reference to the older KQ games in which if you misstep, you're going down, and if you're more than a few feet up, you're a dead man and you've got to reload a save. :)

March 21, 2019

page 129

Out of curiosity, I googled a Barikar to see if this was a real fantasy creature, but the only actual result is from the King's Quest Fanwiki to tell me that, yes, Telgrin owns a Barikar. ....nice, I guess.

page 130

By all technical and decent writing standards, this book is probably awful. Er. I mean, awfully great. High literature, deffo. But it *feels* like a King's Quest game. Every new place is described with just enough detail that you can so easily picture it in those stark, retro early gaming colors, or that pixel painting KQ5 style. I super love it.

page 131

The King's Quest fanwiki tells me that Telgrin owns the only Barikar in all of the entire canon of all fantasy, but it doesn't tell me if Telgrin *loves* his Barikar. I hope he does, because no one else possibly could. What a hideous beastie.

page 134

You boys should be ashamed of yourselves, disposing of a barikar. There was only one in ALL of fantasy EVER and now there's none.

page 139

I hate how funny I think it is that Alexander isn't even pulled together enough to answer his own mental questions. "Yes" is not always the correct answer, sir.

page 143

sassmaster diva telgrin's tragic childhood backstory-----OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT TRAGIC HE'S JUST ALWAYS BEEN A PUNK. I love him.

March 27, 2019

page 143

I wonder what Telgrin’s first thought was when he, A Pathetic Scullery Boy (tm) chopped Owen’s head off, presumably with a Vaguely Magical movement because clean-one-chop head removal is hard even with the help of gravity, man, and Owen’s head just started swearing at him from the floor. Like. That’s a dang weird mental image.

page 144

He holds his own head under his arm like it’s a football and it cracks me up. It’s meant to be serious and scary, probably, but I just love this headless ghost.

page 146

The most over the top baby monitor ever created

page 152

In fairness, this part is one of the most like the game-version would probably be, and it works the least because Alexander is working from information we don’t have. As a gamer we would have heard all Owen’s instructions and had to replicate them perfectly to avoid nasty game overs. As a reader it would have been repetitive for Owen to tell us, then watch Alex act, but there’s a disconnect now.

page 156

“After allowing himself to wallow in depression for a short while”—like, twenty seconds, if that.

page 180

Sinofas (paraphrased): Sooooo.....about that magic flying leap out of the tallest tower. What was that about? Alexander: We had a pressing need to leave the castle. Sinofas: Ever heard of a *door,* sirrah? (do note that I haven't stopped smiling for like twenty pages; this book's greaaat)

page 181

Alexander, paraphrased: So....you're not...friends with Telgrin, are you? Sinofas: He put his Giant Castle in my front yard and won't move it. What do you think??

page 183

I can't believe Mills feels he has to point out that Alexander makes for one Handsome Frog. A "rather large and handsome frog," indeed. Ffff.

page 183

And, I quote, "Did you speak, Sir Frog?" "That's Prince Frog, to you." Alexander, *please* reign in some of your sass. It's not helping matters.

page 198

I feel like the further this book goes, the stronger Alexander's sass gets. It'll never be Telgrin levels of sass because that man is the Sassmaster Diva, but it's dang good.

page 212

Sassmaster Telgrin *still* can't get anyone to dialogue properly with him. Graham's just as obstinate as Alexander and is really good at One Syllable Responses. My gorgeous royal family.

page 223

"At that moment, her second head . . . appeared to wake. It opened its eyes, blinked, and said, "Hmph. What's happening? Where am I?" "It's all right, dear," the first head said. "Go back to sleep. I'm just going to kill this man here." "Oh, that's all right then." I adore this book in ways I cannot express.

page 225

I'm so glad magic in this world, with this staff, works by wishing. So, basically, Telgrin must have said, "I wish King Graham's soul was mine" and so it was, and "I wish I had a fireball to kill Alexander," and bam. It's like he's making little birthday cake wishes, but Horrible Magic happens instead and it's kinda hilariously great. :3

page 230

Telgrin, through a magical hologram because this book is great: "Oi! There you are!" Alexander, exhausted and annoyed: "Whaddya want, Telgrin?" "What do you think? You've stolen my staff. I want it back." "That's too bad. I'm fairly sure that I don't want to give it to you." Now is not the time to start having a holographic fight. Pull back that sass, kiddos.

April 2, 2019

page 231

"The fact that this book is about the same size and heft as my Nintendo Switch tablet with like a pt 14 font, and the fact that it's still taken me into week three to read it, means I'm nice and deep in this reading slump. This should be a six hour read at *maximum*. Telgrin, take me away.

page 236

Alexander, you can't just order princesses to do what you want with magic. that's so rude.

page 237

To be 100% clear, Alexander, Telgrin learned literally everything he knows from Owen, and we can see how Telgrin turned out. One miiiight assume that Owen himself is not the most Noble of nobility.

page 240

"Alexander looked long upon the poor, filthy, shabby, beheaded, half-crazed man" -- I dunno, Alex, I might have led with the Beheaded part. Just sayin', seems the most important part.

page 248

"Alexander thought that it would be inappropriate to express regrets for the incident, since those regrets would not be deeply felt." Alexander, be polite. Don't start snarking with the villain, now.

page 250

"Lydia, Lydia, don't you understand? A man wants to idealize the woman he is to wed. This becomes extremely difficult *when she keeps bloody carping at him.*" Telgrin's breakdown from Eloquent Bro is the best thing ever.

page 260

Since the fight is taking place off screen, it reads most hilariously, with each combatant yelling, "Oh, yeah, that was okay, but what about THIS" followed by just basically a stream of sound effects. It's like reading an anime battle where they would normally shout out their attack names and I'm so into it.

page 266

Can I also add that I find it Entirely Hysterical that this HUGE FLOATING CASTLE is literally pinned into place? With like, a big bobby pin driven into the ground? And that's *it*? This is so impractical on so many levels, Telgrin.

April 3, 2019

page 267

Alexander actually expected Telgrin to win that fight, hah. Good confidence for the Good Team, I guess (Owen's placement on the Good Team being...sketchy, at best, of course).

page 273

See, Graham, Cyril remembers HIS adventuring rope when he goes off on missions. Take notes; it'll help you out in your 2015 voyage.

page 278

Cyril, you stud muffin.

page 283

"How did you find this?" "I got lost." Bab.

April 16, 2019

page 289

Graham Dying bedscenes are like, a favorite staple of this series, innit? And then KQ9 just had to go and take it allllll the way. Hhhh.

page 292

Come on, come on, someone say "a heart is a heavy burden" at Graham. Make this book perfectly complete. No? Okay, fine.

page 293

"I have much to be thankful for. I have escaped the torments that Telgrin thought to inflict on my spirit. I am in my own body again, in my own home, safe and surrounded by family and friends. But what makes me most grateful is that I am able to look upon your face once again, my dear one. For that is everything." Valanice laughed softly, and said, "Rest. You are delirious, I think." My FAVORITE royal couple hhhhhhh.

April 16, 2019 – Finished Reading

Five stars out of five stars. Again.

[miradelletarot]

Hi! I'm fascinated by tarot reading!

How did you get into it?

It's a bit of an interesting story honestly lol I'll try to spare you all the boring details, but back in 2020, my husband and i hit a huge rough patch. I was a very different person then: unhealed, full of trauma, no healthy coping mechanisms, no therapist, so codependent that the idea of him leaving me made me feel like i was quite literally going to die. It wasn't good. (I'm a lot better now, and a LOT has changed since then. All for the better). =]

So, January 2021, my bestie...my ride or die...she offered to do a tarot reading for me. I didn't really have an opinion on it then other than it seemed cool so I told her why not. Little did I know, she had been doing tarot and other spiritual practices for 2 years in secret (for fear of judgement,) and opened up to me about it.

Not long after that initial reading, things that she said would happen *did* happen and it astounded me b/c there was literally no way she could have known the outcome of that situation i asked about. I was immediately more fascinated, and asked her to tell me more about it.

Long story short, she gifted me one of her decks she no longer used. She said it hated her (LOL) but I have had nothing but great experiences with it. During that year, I began to explore my own spirituality, and found myself getting deeper into Tarot. I have been doing it ever since. I mostly read intuitively, but I cannot stress enough that it's very important that if you want to read tarot yourself, you learn the cards. There is much that I am still learning, but as you explore it, you learn not only the card representations, but you also learn that some cards stand for certain zodiac signs, or time periods, or combinations of cards have a set meaning...it's incredible how deep it can go.

If you are interested in learning for yourself, I HIGHLY recommend getting a classic Rider-Waite deck, this book (not sponsored or anything, just a really good book) and this playlist. Don't freak out, but I ENCOURAGE you to WRITE ON YOUR DECK. This will be your training deck, and is the foundation for ALL Rider-Waite based decks. if you like journaling in some aspect, do a card pull each day. Study what it means to you before you pull out your guidebooks and notes, and then compare to the guides to see if you got it right. It's a fantastic way to learn, and get more familiar with your cards.

If you decide to try out tarot for yourself I wish you all the best in your journey! And thank you, Anon for the ask. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your curiosity with me!

[caityjay13]

I just alluded to this in the tags of a post I just queued but I'm gonna at least TRY to articulate some of it y'know for posterity I guess but holy crap y'all

So for background, I've been identifying as ace for ten years. I haven't been on a date in even longer. Last serious relationship was around 15 years ago. I have been pretty certain that my ability to develop crushes/feel attraction/whatever was more or less gone for the majority of my adult life.

Tuesday morning. I board a plane to this work retreat I don't want to go on. See a cute guy sitting in first class. Note the cute guy. Move on with my life. This is a normal occurrence (see my entire life commuting in Beijing where I was aesthetically attracted to like 80% of the population rip me).

Tuesday afternoon. At the work retreat. See the cute guy from the plane. Note that this is somewhat odd, since we are a "remote first" company and we're located all over the country.

Tuesday evening. Mention to some of my teammates that I was on the same plane here with someone. Mention that the reason I noticed is because I had found him attractive at the time. Merciless teasing begins (affectionate).

The next day proceeds and by the time we're having our end-of-retreat party dinner, I'm having a full-on crisis. Not only are my teammates tryna wingman me SO hard, but I have realized that he is a DOCTOR whose name I come across at work on a daily basis. Eventually, and only after much teasing, wingmanning, and three drinks (I had told my manager I wasn't planning on drinking, rip), I manage to introduce myself.

Let me tell y'all, I am FUCKED. I am so fucked. He is so friendly. We had such a lovely chat. I want to go on a date with this man. There is no way he is single (there was a whole thing on Tuesday evening where one of my teammates noted his lack of ring, but this means Nothing). I can't stop my brain from forming wild fantasies about him. I can—and I cannot stress enough how absolutely buck-wild this is for me—imagine myself having sex with him while feeling only slight body dysphoria. What. Is. Happening.

Anyway. I'm dying. I am viscerally reminded of the way my bestie was freaking out when she met her now-husband. It freaks me out SO much. I do not know how to be normal about this. I literally just managed to stop thinking about him for maybe half an hour today before I was plunged back in by just tryna do my job and there's his name in front of my face. My coworker wingmen are doing their best. I am Struggling.

At the very least, if nothing else comes of this, it is something of a relief to know that I am capable of feeling these feelings after all. When I had thought they were gone. I've never been particularly at peace with my ace identity so. It's kind of nice.

BUT ALSO FUCKING NOT NICE HOW DO I LIVE LIKE THIS

The bestie has been very supportive of my screeching. But holy christ. I don't recall it being like this when I was 16. I don't know how to be normal. Send help.

[scarred-serafina-fan]

My origin story

So on Christmas day in 2015, I opened a box my mom handed me and it was full of books. In that stack of books, I picked up one with the silhouette of a girl on the front. I was not really interested when I picked it up but my mom started telling me about how much I was gonna love it and that she already read it and it was based in the Biltmore house in Ashville. Only then did I recognize the house on the cover. I wasn't convinced yet but decided I would give it a chance.

Later that night when I couldn't sleep I pulled out my new stack of books and decided to try a chapter figuring I wouldn't care to read anymore then that boy was I wrong lol I stayed up forever reading it and never put it down until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore

A few months past and my mom sees a book signing event for the new book and I was ecstatic she drove me all the way to ashville with my grandma and I got to meet robert beatty for the first time this was the first time I'd ever met a author of a book I've read (and he's still the only author I've met) he was really nice to me and I got my copy signed and they gave me a bookmark and a copy of the first two chapters of the new book! (It was not supposed to be out for another two days I think it was anyway it wasn't out yet) so I went home and excitedly read the two chapters and was freaking out it had totally hooked me

Eventually the book did come out and I excitedly read all the way until the staircase scene in one day when I then read the words "she raises her finger towards me" and I literally screamed and slammed I book shut and almost threw it across the room and then proceeded to run into the living room screaming at my mom I was never going to pick up that book again because they killed off Gideon and rowena was a piece of trash that annoyed me so much I hated her (my opinions at the time I do not share them anymore lol)

Anyways my mom read the book since I was "done" with it and came back to me to tell me that Gideon wasn't dead and I needed to continue reading lol a few more months past and they announced the splintered heart and I decided I'd finally suck up the trauma of the staircase chapter and continue reading and I was so mad at myself for waiting because I was so excited for the 3rd book again

My mom took me to the book signing again and this time they had moved it to the Barnes and Nobel they are always at since and since it was so much bigger it wasn't as crowded and they had more things there including selling the book 2 days early (that's right I got to read it 2 days before everyone else lol) he was super nice again and again I LOVED it it actually became my favorite book in the series and still is I was so thankful that my mom talked me into picking the series back up

Willa came out and again I went to the book signing and got the book 2 days early (they also had a special willa flavored ice cream which I'm still obsessed with since they have sold it at every book signing since) I enjoyed it but it was probably still my least favorite out of the 4 books (or second to least considering I was still very much traumatized by twisted staff still lol)

Book 4 came out and same as usual went to the book signing had a fun time loved the book but.... I was now in the summer of the worst year of my life the dreaded year 13 XD I actually ended up in a depression and was dealing with a lot and wasn't reading as much serafina just sat on my closet shelf collecting dust until 2021 when he finally released willa of dark hollow and despite still not being able to find the energy to read I bought the book and hood from the king raven trilogy by stephan r lawhead with the hope it would get me back info reading again and despite having a hard time getting back into willa I did binge read hood and it reignited my love for reading again even if I was much slower at it then before and I decided to start rereading the series again and I still re-read and fall in love with the books all over again on occasion it's a obsession I've never been able to kick and probably never will <3

Course then he released the graphic novel and had the first book signing since 2019 I was so excited I dragged my mom back to ashville with me again and we stood in line for me to get willa of dark hollow signed (the graphics novel was presigned smart ngl) and when I looked at the card they always gave us to put down a message for him I decided to tell him about how he had affected my writing because when I first started writing I picked up his books to analyze how he did it and build up from there and I go up there I hand him the card he glances at it and starts to actually read and looks up to me and smiled and says "so your a writer" and I swear yall I was about to fangirl so hard me and him had never had a real convo before because I get my book signed take a photo and move on that's how those things work but he just started asking about what I write and stuff and it was quick cause I had to get out of line so the next person could meet him (she was so sweet ngl I loved her I would love to meet her again ngl) but he was so encouraging!

Then I started posting on tumblr and decided I was gonna make a fandom myself if no one else was gonna do it lol and I met all yall and it's been great! That's my story and I hope it continues on as he releases more books!