#literally the only exception is if you're weird with it
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linoxpudding · 3 days ago
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Not A Date - Lee Know
summary: a valentine’s hangout turns accidentally romantic when SKZ meddles—forcing you and minho to rethink your friendship
pairing: lee know x reader, skz squad
genre: fluff, humor
fic type: written + text
a/n: wrote this on a rush, I just got this cute request few hours ago but I really wanted to upload this on valentines day bc of the theme, happy valentines day my cuties 💜
Masterlist
~°~
7th February, 7:15 pm:
It all started with a simple hangout plan between you and your friend, Minho.
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12th February, 5:25 pm at SKZ Dorm:
The dorm was unusually loud, which was never a good sign. Minho sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone while eating chips. Hyunjin plopped down beside him, stretching dramatically.
"Yo, you doing anything for Valentine’s?" Hyunjin asked, eyes still glued to the TV.
"What?" Minho asked, not even looking at him.
"This Friday? Got any plans?" Hyunjin asked again.
Minho barely looked up. "Yeah, I’m going somewhere with Y/N."
Silence.
Hyunjin blinked. "Wait. What?"
Minho raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You're spending Valentine’s with Y/N?"
"Not Valentine's, just a Friday hangout? Why are you being weird?"
Hyunjin’s jaw dropped. "LEE FELIX! HAN JISUNG! COME HERE RIGHT NOW."
Within seconds, the entire dorm was in chaos.
Then the news travelled to the rest of the members who were in the studio.
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The realisation between you both.
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The endless teasings of your friends.
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14th February, 11 am the morning of "Non-Date":
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14th February, 2:50 pm at the "Non-Date":
Somehow, neither of you could manage to stop the chaos. Now, you stood outside the cat cafĂ©, staring at Minho, who was—against his will—dressed suspiciously well.
“
Did they force you to dress up?” you asked, eyeing his button-up.
Minho sighed. "Chan hyung literally ironed this shirt himself. I had no choice."
You laughed, taking in the scene. There were people everywhere—couples holding hands, roses being exchanged, soft music playing from the cafĂ© speakers. It was undeniably romantic.
"You do realize this actually looks like a date now, right?" you said, crossing your arms.
Minho rolled his eyes. "Thanks to those idiots, yes."
You both walked inside, greeted by the warm scent of coffee and the sight of fluffy cats lounging around. The moment you sat down, a waiter came over with a knowing smile.
"Happy Valentine’s! Your special couple’s drinks are on the house."
You choked. "Sorry, we're not—"
"We’ll take it," Minho interrupted.
You turned to him, scandalized. "Minho!"
He shrugged. "What? Free drinks."
The rest of the afternoon was surprisingly
 nice. The cats were adorable, the drinks were actually good, and after the initial awkwardness faded, it felt like your usual hangouts.
But something was different.
It wasn’t the setting or the day itself—it was the way he kept stealing glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking, but you could feel his eyes on you. Or the way you noticed how soft his voice got when he spoke to you. Your heart fluttered in those miniscule moments.
Soon it was time to leave, you both exited the cafe and began walking.
The night air was crisp, just cold enough for you to pull your jacket tighter around yourself as you walked side by side with him.
Minho was quiet, but not in an awkward way—just comfortable. The kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled. The only sounds were the soft rhythm of your footsteps against the pavement and the distant hum of city life around you.
Your hands brushed.
Barely, just for a second. A whisper of warmth against the cool air.
You ignored the way your breath hitched.
It happened again. A fleeting touch, his fingers grazing against yours before pulling away.
You peeked up at him. He was looking straight ahead, jaw relaxed, expression unreadable—except for the way the corner of his lips twitched. Like he knew but wasn’t saying anything.
You swallowed, suddenly hyperaware of the space between the two of you.
Minho tilted his head slightly, his voice low. “Cold?”
You shook your head, a little too quickly. “Nope.”
He hummed, unconvinced, taking your hand gently and intertwining, then shoving your hands into his pockets. “Hmm. Could’ve fooled me.”
You bit back a smile, glancing away. Heart racing.
The streetlights cast a soft glow over his face, highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, the curve of his nose, the quiet amusement dancing in his eyes.
He looked
 good.
Too good.
Dangerously good.
You exhaled, trying to shake the thought away. This wasn’t a date.

Right?
As if reading your mind, Minho’s voice cut through the quiet. “So,” he mused, “are you gonna admit it yet?”
You blinked up at him. “Admit what?”
“That you had fun,” he said simply, turning to meet your gaze. “That maybe this wasn’t the worst way to spend Valentine’s.”
You scoffed, “maybe.”
He stopped walking for a second, just enough for you to nervously take your hands out of his pocket and take a step ahead before he caught up again.
Then, quietly, he murmured, “Maybe I should take you out again.”
Your breath hitched, but before you could respond, he nudged your shoulder lightly, the teasing glint back in his eyes. “You know. Accidentally.”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the tiny smile tugging at your lips.
Minho noticed.
He definitely noticed.
But he didn’t say anything—just smirked to himself, eyes flickering forward as you two kept walking.
Hands brushing. Shy smiles lingering.
And somewhere in the back of your mind, a tiny, traitorous thought whispered:
This felt a lot like the beginning of something.
Later that night....
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The SKZ Family
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the end.
----
another SKZ meddling fic: READ HERE
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bunnyboy-juice · 11 days ago
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awawawawawawa
#bunny rambles#i was “cleared” to go back to work yesterday but she told me i could use the rest of the time also if i wanted/needed#and im using it. but the little corporateanxietybot who lives in my head and tries to make me be a Good Worker[tm] is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF#cause she thinks my boss/Dad is gonna scream at and hit her for being Lazy#this is a trauma post also um. didnt expect to name her rn but she's screaming and i cant scream back cause she sounds like alarms and those#scare crustywhitedog so i have to calm that one so i don't meltdown#my wife submitted the RTW date for me so like. its okay im actually taking the time and ik this is necessary also bc. it is clearly unwell#that its freaking out because it's gotten a more than a 2 day break for the first time in a year#ik corporateanxietybot has protected me in some ways but. i gotta kill her so bad. maybe H can help me reformat her somehow .....#i also hate her is the thing. she cant hear me rn bc she's just looping in circles alarming but anyway. i hate her. like Me. she's so#capitalismcorebootlicker and i hate that about her and i hate that she exists and i hate that she exists bc my dad raised me to be an#Employee instead of a person 🙃🙃🙃🙃#im not elaborating or explaining any of this. this is a diary entry now#i wish i could click her to kill her like the drones in hardcoded lmao it'd be so much easier. ik she like. lives in the work mode mask as#well which is also HARD bc if im not actively thinking Of work or At work she's nonexistent#but shes so LOUD 🙃🙃 like shut up. we're not gonna explode n die from taking an extra week off you're being dramatic our boss isnt Dad#like he LITERALLY isn't Dad. not even close. he's like the most docile man in the world come on ik they're around the same age and both hve#held authority over u but boss checking in wasnt a trap ur not ab to get caught doing wrong ur fiiiiIIIIIIINE#(also corporateanxietybot is not an adult. she's 15 and terrified but she integrated to my work mask which is the problem cause she makes me#a “phenomenal employee” and also makes me work myself sick when she is given the reigns. little devil on my shoulder except the capitalist#system we live under treats her as a positive thing so she gets positive reinforcement at work which only makes her more anxious 😭 i gotta#talk to H about this next Friday huh. also wow. parts work has made it a lot easier for me to acknowledge these behaviors so i can confront#them easier. weird. strange even. so many parts have gotten names this past month n im realizing also why its been so hard to process stuff#but it also has made me kinder to myself. anyway she turned off (her batteries are low since she's been home for a month too) so im gonna#clean myself up and get some food in me and then get some cleaning done
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navree · 7 months ago
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people doing this whole "look at how rhaenys acted with corlys's bastard son vs how catelyn acted with jon snow" to demonize one or the other is weird because, like, maybe it's just me, but i think that catelyn and rhaenys had different reactions because they're different people in different situations.
#personal#like they're clearly very different people with different personalities#hell even the situations are different#rhaenys kinda stumbles upon corlys's bastard whose name i don't know cuz i'm not watching this season just kinda in passing#she knew he existed but didn't really have to deal with it at all#meanwhile ned comes home with this baby he says is a product of cheating and just goes 'he's living here now'#there's no space for catelyn to separate herself from the betrayal of fidelity the way that there likely was for rhaenys#like i'm not catelyn's biggest fan#not just because of her treatment of jon (altho yeah i'll be honest i'm not a fan) but there's stuff about her personality#and how she views the world and what being in her head is like that can rub me the wrong way#(she's just so constantly judgy and rude about nearly everyone she doesn't know and even some that she does and it can get exhausting)#but she's a different person to rhaenys and also occupies a different role than she does#rhaenys has a lot more going for her in her marriage than just being corlys's wife#she's got the bluer blood as a targaryen princess she's got a dragon she's got power and influence in her own right#meanwhile catelyn doesn't have nearly as much#she's a lord's daughter yeah but in this entirely new kingdom where she is now her power comes from being ned's wife#and mother to his children#in her head jon is a threat to that power due to being not only a reminder of ned's infidelity but also how his placement could supplant#her children and thus herself by extension#along with her just having a different personality to rhaenys that makes her harsher about it#(i mean i still don't LIKE that she takes it out on jon who certainly didn't ask to be born but i at least understand from characterization#and again: they're different people! no shit they'd react differently!#i'm just baffled at this attempt to pit GOT characters against HOTD characters all the time it's so weird#like now there's people arguing who's better between jace and robb stark and i'm just left baffled#do y'all literally not know how to consume content in any other way except petty fandom wars? my god you're annoying
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wonder-worker · 1 year ago
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that feeling when you want to write a long post ranting discussing something you feel especially strongly about but you're just. too Tired to actually sit down and do it
#also it's technically vaguing other posts which I don't want to do#but tbh this is something I really have wanted to talk about for a while I just didn't realize how frustrated I was until now#anyway:#you do know that it's possible to recognize Henry VII's success as King without completely erasing Edward IV's entire reign impact#and achievements* in the process right?#(*achievements that massively BENEFITTED Henry VII and gave Henry several useful precedents which he actively followed.#If you're genuinely interested in Henry you should be able to acknowledge that and use it as part of your analysis of him)#like I'm sorry but if the only way you can compliment Henry is by erasing someone else's credit and policies that Henry himself referenced#I don't think your opinion can be taken seriously. even though I very much do agree with your broader point#There are ways to highlight Henry's considerable success without diminishing Edward IV's own success that preceded Henry's#(and also without incorrectly caricaturing the entire Wars of the Roses as decades of bloody ravaged in-fighting my god)#(there was a 12-year reign of relative stability and economic recovery from 1471-83 that you're literally erasing completely.#are you fucking stupid?)#It's weird because I obviously dislike the way Henry VIII is glorified at his father's expense#and dislike when Henry VII's achievements that contributed so massively to his son's reign are minimized#so when I see people defend Henry VII using the exact same method to praise Henry at Edward IV's expense (except Edward is#just entirely erased and overlooked rather than vilified)...#it's rather hypocritical imo?#to be clear it's not about Edward I know it's about Henry. and it doesn't generally happen because Henry is not generally#talked about positively at all. he's often regarded negatively in a way that makes no sense and which I'm very frustrated by#But when he IS given praise it's usually exacerbated by people who (implicitly; perhaps unknowingly) minimize Edward IV in the process#and it's irritating to say the least#anyway. sorry. I didn't mean to vague I don't generally do this. but I really do have a lot to say about this topic#I do want to make another post about it sometime but not anytime soon#I might delete these tags in a bit let's see#(super unsure if I should post this but. whatever)
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mariana-oconnor · 2 years ago
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The thing I find most amusing about that AO3 summaries post I made - apart from the fact that apparently by attempting to do observational comedy, I somehow managed to create a writing guide - is the way every few days I get someone reblogging it saying 'I absolutely will not read X, don't do it, it's terrible,' and so far X has been pretty much every single item on the list.
The lesson we must learn is that everything is hated by someone. There is no perfect summary, literally anything you write is going to put someone off. Is that liberating or does it make things worse?
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here-there-were-dragons · 5 months ago
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all modern writing advice is optimized towards creating the most digestible and marketable mass-appeal piece possible, which everyone has decided is The Only Way To Do Art Right for some reason. i hate it, i fucking hate it so much, i had to stop listening to movie and art concrit videos because it became infuriatingly clear that literally no one has opinions of their own, they're just parroting from a list of How To Make The Most Marketable Thing that they heard from other criticisms, taken as gospel of The One And Only Way To Be Right, and have put no real actual thought into it themselves.
literally all of them now just boil down to "here's how this did/didn't follow the Standard Marketability Checklist to the exact letter. also at least a third of this essay is me randomly interjecting about how much i want to suck off puss in boots 2"
Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
#that damn movie makes my eyes hurt. i feel like the only person on earth that didn't like it#literally the most How To Do It Correct Tm With Absolutely No Fluff checklist movie i've ever seen. so damn boring.#like a case study in that thing someone said in a post somewhere i can't find right now about how modern storytelling i all like#“you shouldn't have literally anything in it except for the absolute most required plot beats”#“and they must perfectly match and exist only to serve The Structure and The Message and The Way The Trope Is Done”#“if anything happens outside of the Structure or just because”#“or if your characters say a single word that's not core-plot-critical. it's wrong and filler and bad. :)”#“also there must always be A Message and that message must be Positive and assure the viewer that Humans are Superior”#“if your story is not a morality parable that everything within exists exclusively to prop up then you're like. probably evil or something”#“also worldbuilding is a sin. no one cares. if you think about any of it any deeper than the mc getting together it's loredumping :)”#“no one likes explained magic sweaty :)”#“stfu autist and give us our surface-level keyjangling children's play about generic anthropocentric positivity messaging :)”#“also never attempt to do anything science-based or Weird because that's also a sin and probably your fetish. ESPECIALLY specbio”#"people ONLY want to see stories about humans and functionally-humans therefore it is inherently incorrect and doing art wrong#to attempt to write anything at all that isn't about either humans or things that are direct stand-ins for humans#or at least metaphors about “the human condition”
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holyjost · 2 months ago
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#actually i do think people who write mostly rule!63 and particularly m/m->f/m rule!63 are weird#like you look at two characters or people who are men and over and over again you're like...okay so imagine they're in love...and straight!#you seriously can't convince me that there's no homophobia involved there#like not one time as an opportunity to explore the differences it would introduce to their world. but over and over again#also even the m/m->f/f rule!63 is often drenched in misogyny. like they're women so now they're obsessed with their appearances and clothes#even though the work is otherwise not an AU. like why do you think their personalities need to be entirely different...#did someone say biological gender essentialism?#read a rule!63 fic one time where a athlete who was still an athlete in the rule!63 talked in multiple scenes about how she was dressed and#how her hair and makeup looked#the og character would not have given a flying fuuuuuuuck about his appearance. total jock#like if it had been a commentary on how there's more pressure on women to put unwanted time and effort into their appearance#i would respect it (though i think this is a poor forum for exploring those issues). but that's absolutely not what it was#it was literally just like. i'm girl so my main interest can be sports but of course the rest of the time i think about dress and makeup!#and what other people think of how i look! i live to be perceived by others! it brings me great joy!#i can't just not care about those things! it comes naturally!#so nasty#also the need to change personality traits. all women turn into this combination of snarky and motherly...#meanwhile the og character will be like the chillest most unbothered dude in the world who doesn't really care about anything#why do you think women can't be thaaaaat. why do they need to have constant comebacks but also be overly caring and supervisory#let them be loserssssssssss#let them be totally unexceptional and sometimes annoying and let them have love stories anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!#aaaaaaagh i can't read love stories with women the (internalized) misogyny of the author pervades EVERYTHIGN#ironically the only way to have not gross straight romance is probably to have an author write m/m and then replace one of the character's#names with a woman's name#not that they're isn't plenty of m/m with weird power imbalances that the author seems to have no idea they're even writing into the story#but i can't unpack every complaint i have in the tags of single post...#mine#je parle trop#also i haven't read any rule!63 lately so if someone just posted some i am not like. targeting you. i was just thinking about it today#but like i said (implied) there are exceptions anyway so like. you know your own work and whether any of this would apply
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evilchildeyeeter · 3 months ago
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every time i have a pe lesson i lose a tiny bit of my will to live
heads up i kinda started venting in the tags so if you dont want to put up with that just scroll <333
#ev yaps#vent incoming#sorry#none of the school subject slander is true btw other subjects r still very slay!!!#i fucking suck at pe#idk why but i physically cannot be good at sport#the one exeption being figure skating at which i am still kinda shit idk id never be anything close to professional#anyway to my peers its pretty much the only subject that matters#good at science? psycho (like nobody likes science but even so were all supposed to be decent at it)#maths? ok thats like the bare minimum also like nobody cares#english? ok cool#music? unless its singing or a rare-ish instrument nobody will actually give a shit#ok you get the picture#except art ig#but im not the best at it so it doesnt matter#OH NOT TO MENTION THE FUCKING 'IF YOU CANT KICK A BALL YOU'RE FAT' JOKES ISTGGGG EUGHH LIKE STOP THAT AINT COOL#im atheist but like damn god really didn't want me to amount to anything#like no joke i have literally no talent except for yapping#im just the loud kid with the weird sense of humour#that will end up working a shit boring ass job fr the rest of his life#or maybe i'll just work in an h&m until i fucking die#because being a screenwriter/ just working in film production is unrealistic#and i cant really write but its one of my best skills#i dont really know what else i can do with my life#and everyone is probably judging me#everything i say and do.#idk maybe im overthinking all of this and im fine. maybe all my problems and their impacts are being made up by some twisted corner of#my brain for attention#anyway sorry about that#back to our usual program
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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knaveofmogadore · 11 months ago
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Kfkdks
#messages from knave#im making breakfast and im gonna list my observations from three years of weird living situations#younger siblings of big age gaps will see most interactions as a form of soft combat until trained out of it#but when actual clmbat happens they're used to not having any sway so they don't actually know how to act in arguments#siblings with codependent relationships have their own internal langauge that they apply to others. not sure if they realize they do it#but they'll hold you to the same rules they've mentally created for each other without explaining them#siblings of ALL stripes will approach situations with a set idea of how communication works. and even if it's not a logical way to communica#they'll expect you to also communicate in that way. and if you can't or refuse they'll shut down and communication stalls completely because#they can't fathom doing it any other way except the way they and their siblings socialized each other to do it#siblings with adversarial relationships don't take outside advice and will take attempts to give advice as manipulative. not their fault#oldest siblings are the most conflict averse people on the planet. oldest sinlings say#'is anyone gonna balloon this situation out of proportion by avoiding it for as long as possible' and not wait for an answer#siblings who were regularly appointed as hall monitors will see any interaction with you as transactional#a hallmark of a dysfunctional sibljng relationship is someone who thinks telling you NO is worse than going through a situation they do not#wanna be in. and then they'll complain about it endlessly#and then they'll be like 'i don't want favours from my parents because they'll hold it over me' and never make the connection on their own#people cannot anticipate your needs with their minds. they are sometimes going to ask you to be a part of things you don't wanna#you're NEVER gonna be able to live in a world where people will stop asking you to be a part of things that's not feasible#had one say once 'people should just know not to ask me along for plans I can't get to people should know not to invite me'#and you know dude that's just now how stuff works. there's a difference between 'x cant drive so they can't help me move my dresser' and#'i know xs work schedule so i shouldnt infomr them of group plansnon the off chance they could make it so they don't feel left out'#people with hyper competitive siblings can't fathom that other people won't know how to do stuff. i don't just mean athletes but siblings#with that scarcity mindsetnin general like they can't handle people not having the same knowledge base they have. it's a survival thing#and NO having a life of suffering doesn't make you correct all the time has literally anyone else watched heathers#youngest siblings always have the most deranged dating stories and the oldest in a set of age gap siblings always has the WORST taste in men#< that's directed at my sister and no one else that's a personal diss not a real observation#only children have one thing. theyre SUPER weird about splitting the grocery bill#food is NOT communal to only children I've learned firsthand. Also they'll be perfectly fine sharing anything else BUT food usually#weed. loans. bathroom supplies. dishes. ect. but NOT food#meanwhile sibljngs are a little TOO comfortable chowing down on stuff they didn't buy. bad roommates are bad roommates
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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ik i said a week ago or somethin that "im sorry mj isnt non binary" but honestly thats not fully true. she is nb in her own ways- i just dont want ppl to take that and then modify her to be fully gnc and more masc than she is like someone i know has 😒
#im very sorry she is not like you.#i have plenty of other characters you can imprint on.#if you are not like her as she is and have to change her so much then you two are not the same. really fuckin simple dawg.#my ocs#heres an idea: you dont need to have a character thats just like you in every piece of media you consume. k? k.#and to be more direct to the person im vaguing about: no you actually dont have an excuse to steal my oc and take control of her#to modify her however you like. shes not yours and never will be. you can make up excuses if you want-#you can pretend i forced you to be like her if you want and just ignore all the times I went along with you in identifying as literally#any other oc mine or yours- just bc i dont wanna be with someone like who you *really* are doesnt mean im forcing you to be like her#yeah i have a preference for a type of person. no you did not fit into it whenever you revealed who you really were.#that doesnt mean im forcing you to do shit it means you lied about who you are and im not attracted to who you really are.#im not forcing shit at all like???????????????? im allowed to have preferences and types dawg.#its really not my fault that childhood abuse made you so codependent on me that me going 'yeah if you're not actually like this#then i dont want to date' made you freak out and then pretend you are like her more. i did not force you to do shit. literally nothing#about our situation would've changed except that i wasnt dating you. i have no idea why that was such a fucking big deal for you#dont you want someone who loves you for who you really are instead of pretending to be what people want?? so then why do you#CARE so much if i dont? it means im just another person you get to forget about and try to find someone new who WILL love that version of u#this is why ik you have a weird specific obsession with me. for some reason it HAD to be me who loved you. idk what it is maybe im just#so sexy and special or something but whatever it is you should be able to love yourself enough to know when to leave#and ya shoulda known that i was gonna dump you if only because you lied about who you were anyways. this is why ya gotta be#fully open and honest about who you are- something ik is very hard for you.#i just dont understand WHY it had to be me. the most i can assume is that i showed you a type of love you've never seen before#and raised your standards. which is a GOOD thing btw. you SHOULD have high enough standards for ppl to love you right.#instead of having all these. apathetic losers you hang out with around you.
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realcube · 7 months ago
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— SAIKI RELATIONSHIP HCS
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☆ very hesitant to hug you/hold hands bc he is afraid he might shatter all your bones. prefers kisses, less can go wrong
☆ except that one time he kissed you and was so flustered that a whole galaxy exploded
☆ but it was one of those really distant, useless ones so he moved on
☆ or that time you held his hand and he literally started levitating ??
☆ finishes exams in two seconds then spends the rest of the time annoying you
'i don't mean to disturb you but i noticed you put the wrong answer for question four' 'get out of my head!'
☆ i already wrote a drabble about this but he morphs into different objects to 'prank' you
☆ you always want him to shrink bc what's the point of having a psychic bf if you can't carry him around on your person like a polly pocket
☆ he's very apprehensive about it, however one day he finally agrees to it because you have a shift at work and you really wanted him to join you but it would be weird if he just showed up to your place of work unannounced so he shrunk and you carried him around in your back pocket
☆ that is until you almost sat on him!! and when he dived out to avoid being crushed, he fell onto the sticky work floor covered in dust
☆ still hasn't fully recovered 😿
☆ omg if you are insecure about a physical feature of yours , instead of using his powers to change you, he will use his mind control on the entire world so that your insecurity is now the beauty standard (similar to what he did with his hair)
☆ he doesn't use mind control on you though bc it's rude
☆ in fact he tries to avoid using his powers on you all together bc it would only cause trouble (with the exception of telepathy bc he likes to speak to you.. unlike he does with most people)
☆ and he's very strict with that ethic of his
☆ which is nice and all, and really easy until he does something super embarrassing in front of you
☆ like you see him scream at a cockroach or smth
☆ and he is SO tempted to use memory alteration on you so you could just forget that ever happened
☆ but he just can't bring himself to do it
☆ OR when your birthday was before his so he got you a present but didn't do that much else, but when it was time for his birthday and you went all out, he so wanted to either go back in time and do better or just alter your memory so you think he went all out too
☆ oh and passive aggression doesn't work on him ofc
☆ if you are ever mad or upset at him for whatever reason, you can't be like 'hmph i'm not gonna tell you what you did wrong, you just have to know :<' bc he can.. y'know.. read your mind
☆ and he also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and forgive him, every single time
☆ plus you can never stay mad at him for long anyway bc he's just too cute!!
☆ too shy to admit that he wants to spend more time with you so he will use his powers as some sort of excuse
as you're about to leave saiki's room, he lies, 'wait. don't go. i have had a precognition that something terrible is going to happen to you if you do.' 'really?' you raise an eyebrow. 'and what might that be?' he wasn't really ready for any follow up questions so he stutters and thinks of the scariest scenario he can 'toritsuka.' ... 'toritsuka is going to do what? jump me?' 'no. just toritsuka.'
☆ for your birthday or anniversary he does something you call the 'saiki special' where he duplicates himself to give you a full body massage
☆ it's what dreams are made of !!!
☆ but yeah it's a lot of effort so he saves it for special occasions
☆ he would so love to watch trashy reality tv shows with you
☆ but he so uses it against you
☆ like if you are ever studying and are like 'why am i working so hard when you are psychic and can literally set us up for the easy life đŸ˜«'
☆ he'll be like.. you know who else never worked hard a day in they're life.. the kardashians!! do you really want to end up like that??
☆ and when you say yes this is the face he makes 😐
☆ dw though bc as i said before he will be in your head during exams so he can help you a little
☆ his love language is actually spoonfeeding you food and desserts
☆ and yes he actually uses his hands opposed to his mind to control the spoon, just to show you that being a psychic doesn't mean he gets to cut corners!
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sammydem0n64 · 2 years ago
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Raziah’s (foster) kids got me fucked up bc it’s like. Do I want him to adopt ALL of them so his kid count (including Blanc) adds up to 13 so it’s haha the evil number that fits his horror theme or do I go with the lineup I had of The Magnum Seven Deadly Sins, Dani AND Blanc... decisions decisions...
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suiana · 6 months ago
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girl. imagine yandere! otome isekai reverse harem and isekai'd reader. except isekai'd reader is chronically online and has no sense of shame.
basically reader isekai'd into the evil villain/villainess's body and was in the middle of getting shit talked by some nobles for something the og villain/villainess did in the novel.
"they're such scum... why are they even-"
"erm, what the sigma? I'll have you know I'm super awesome sauce and can rizz up livvy dunne."
the people are all flabbergasted. what were you talking about? did you finally go mad as well?
"p-pardon?"
"stupid locals. none of you get me like freakbob does."
"???"
and obviously, like every other otome isekai, your new behavior gets the attention of the male leads. they've caught wind that you've changed and they had to see it for themselves. what?? the crazy villain/villainess is no longer plotting?!
...
wrong, you're still plotting. just not plotting evil acts for their attention anymore.
"i wonder if i learn how to control the pigeons could i make them shit on people's heads?"
"excuse me?"
but of course they're enchanted by your... eccentric behavior. so what? they're literally the stereotypical male leads. the cold duke of the north with black hair and red eyes, the powerful mage of the high tower, the crazy mad dog crown prince, and the knight no one really cares for.
you know what actually would be crazy though? if they didn't act like the stereotypical male leads. yeah, that's right. the cold duke isn't actually cold and is a huge puppydog. the powerful mage isn't all knowledgeable and only knows how to use one spell that's super overpowered. the knight is loved by everyone. the crown prince is still crazy though.
anyway not important. you go through the same events as the og villain/villainess with them but because you're acting so different. they develop vastly different opinions of you. oh. maybe you're just a silly guy and not the crazy villain/villainess they thought you were. cool.
however one thing they have in common is the fact that they are all madly in love with you. yeah. that's right. they all fell for you. sure, you say weird things sometimes and clearly don't care about the plot but-
"my dear, shall we visit the garden? it will be a change of scenery from the library-"
"what? are you saying I'm not smart enough? I'll have you know that i graduated top of my class of mogger academy in ohio and became the top sigma wolf."
"i-"
"you're giving such beta energy right now😒"
yeah, they can't understand you. at all. but that's okay! you're still so cute and they just absolutely love you! ever since you stopped being the weird evil villain/villainess you actually became likeable! wow! maybe the genre of this novel will shift to a cheesy romance novel?
there's only one problem!
you don't really love them back!
"darling do you want to marry me?"
"you ask me that one more time and I'm cutting your dick off."
ugh... this is so hard...
oh! maybe they'll band together to keep you with them! it's 4 people against one. how will you ever win? they'll definitely get you this time and you won't be able to escape. and they'll finally get the love that they so desperately crave from you.
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velvetwyrme · 29 days ago
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bringing back the question for 2025: who in the autobots would fuck a car and/or have an sti
hi i thought too long and hard about this. then i made a silly comic about it which quickly got derailed into another silly bit. and then it kept getting longer and more terrible
i don't know whether you're the same person as the original anon or not but im gonna freakin cry either way. is this my legacy...
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on one hand this ask gave me lots of motivation for some reason, so thank you for that, but on the other hand it motivated me to draw a 6 page comic about robot STIs.
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i put too much effort into this lmao. for my actual conclusions AND some extra notes about the comic click the read more 👍
Ratchet: No and no. Has HAD STIs before. When he was younger. True across continuities except... in TFA he would have an STI. I can see it.
Ironhide: Yes carfucking, but I feel like the carfuckin was also a one time thing specifically. No STI. To quote my notes: "Frag no, Chromia or Ratch woukd kill him". Typo included.
Jazz: Yes carfucking, no STI because if he got one he'd be on top of treatment. Originally there was a bit in the comic with Jazz and Prowl arguing about which is worse: fuckin a car or havin a STI but it got cut because its already like 6 pages
Prowl: No carfucking and yes STI. He thinks carfucking is Really Weird. Wait. Purely off of vibes because I still haven't watched ES (someday...) but ES!Prowl would fuck a car.
Optimus: Who else do you think gave Megatron the STI? (/j /j... unless?) Carfucking and STI status varies wildly across continuities imo. G1? Yes and yes. IDW... depends on what point in time. I feel like its a yes to both but not at the same time. TFA would not fuck a car but he definitely has an STI. TFP! and ES! OP is a mystery to me, you guys can tell me if you have strong opinions on them. Hm. Armada OP would fuck a car.
Sideswipe: originally it WAS going to be him in the comic but as I mentioned, it got derailed. He'd absolutely give a car an STI.
Wheeljack/Trailbreaker/Hot Rod: Yeah, probably both. Maybe not at the same time though. Hot Rod was only so low on Prowls list because hes Literally Offworld but who knows what hes capable of.
Yes to carfucking, no STI: Lets see... Bumblebee, Cliffjumper (despite Prowl and Ironhide's assumption in the comic, THIS is my actual opinion lmao), I think Mirage would as well, but he'd vehemently deny it. Also *leans in close to the mic* Elita-1 would fuck a car. But she'd do it and it'd be like. Cool.
No to carfucking, yes STI: *long pause as i look into the middle distance* mmm...Smokescreen. I don't know much about TFP!Smokescreen but he can get lumped in there too. Sunstreaker as well, but more because he says he didn't fuck a car but he could be lying and you genuinely can't tell if he is. Also Brawn for some reason.
As for other characters elsewhere... Rodimus is a strong contender for giving a car an STI. So is Whirl, but I feel like he's slightly less likely to have an STI, yknow? Only slightly.
Other notable ones I think would have both but NOT at the same time: Swerve, Skids, Drift (specifically because of Rodimus because even if they don't fuck they seem like the type of friends who share drinks), I think First Aid fits in here too, and is the only medic who would have an STI that I can think of off the top of my head. Oh also Armada!Jetfire.
I also think that the Aerialbots are all contenders for this category too. Some more than others but it wouldn't matter because they all end up with an STI and it's miserable.
ALSO...
The alternate punchline to the comic, had it been set on the Lost Light, is... a meeting (in which the general consensus is that Rodimus fucked the car that mysteriously appeared on the Lost Light, AND he gave it an STI)
Then, Nightbeat bursts in with Brainstorm in tow, and he reveals that it was in fact Brainstorm's fault- NOT because he fucked the car (he's far more interested in er... lab equipment, lets say) BUT he made a gun that fucks cars, and accidentally gave the GUN a STI
ALSO SIDEBURN FROM TF:RID (2001). he would ABSOLUTELY fuck a car and give it an STI. He canonically loves red sportscars and you KNOW that mans got an STI.
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eph3merall · 4 months ago
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dealer!chris x innocent!bff!reader hcs 🩌
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dealer!chris . . . who always has a part of his mind thinking about you. what are you up to? classes? work? friends? hangouts? he'll text you and pretend to not care much, but deep down he just doesn't want to admit how much he worries over this girl who is just his friend.
innocent!bff!reader . . . loves and adores all things autumn. her clothes are fall staples that include lots of denim and earthy tones. so whenever she's hanging out with chris and sees something to add to her closet or keep as a trinket or decoration, she'll look up to chris with pretty lil' eyes and how could he deny her? sometimes he'll purposefully look away and shove her away from the store because she keeps burning a hole through his pocket.
dealer!chris . . . despises situations where innocent!bff!reader roped into his 'job'. there are shady people buying some strong shit from him, and he knows matt would also screw him over if innocent!bff!reader got harmed because of him. matt sees you as a best friend, someone he needs to protect because his brother is a little fucking stupid sometimes. dealer!chris always tries avoiding problems when it seems as if you're gonna get involved with any of his deals.
innocent!bff!reader . . . who's had a boyfriend or two before. she's just never had sex, and once she told chris he was laughing at her and giggling with his eyes all red. 'fuckin'... you're jokin', right kid?' and when she tells chris she's dated less than five people he's laughing harder. gosh, what an asshole.
dealer!chris . . . always carries a lighter with a printed cat photo on it that innocent!bff!reader glued/taped onto it. keeps a picture of her in his wallet as well—a polaroid of her awhile back in the winter, running into the horizon as snow fell around her frame. he could hear the giggles she made just by looking at the photo.
innocent!bff!reader . . . who has severe nosebleeds once every few months or so. it'll get so bad to the point she's crying because she thinks she's gonna die—with chris grumbling all annoyed with his hand fisting her hair so it doesnt get caked in blood. sometimes hes high and just stares at times while she yells at him to get her a hairtie or to grab ahold of most of her hair.
dealer!chris . . . who's, again, literally just an asshole to everyone. you're barely an exception. one second he'll be laughing with you and once he's with a buyer or some of his friends, he'll act like you're some dirt on his shoe. plus he's just plain ol' mean. wont take bullshit from anyone, not even his brothers. matt pisses him off more than nick does. but of course, they're his brothers. so he isnt.. that mean.
innocent!bff!reader . . . who grew up sheltered from everything in life. her parents are overprotective and she's their only child—only serving to make them more anxious when she's out. met chris through nick since the two were in a class together. something clicked and they've been hanging out ever since, usually in groups. chris and his friends are nott a good influence on her. but her mother doesn't have to know, does she?
dealer!chris . . . lovess cute coupley things. he just won't ever admit it to anyone he knows, not even his brothers if they ask or jab at him. secretly, he loves it when innocent!bff!reader hugs him tight or brushes her fingers across his skin. but he'll always stick to his go-to response—a scoff and he's pushing her away, muttering some shit like 'god, fuckin'.. annoying as hell always touchin' me.'
innocent!bff!reader . . . tries getting herself off with her fingers for the first time in awhilee since meeting chris because he just makes her feel so weird. all hot and bothered and it's gotten so overwhelming that humping her pillow alone in her dorm room isn't enough, so she's sliding her fingers inside her cunt slowly and mewling all softly in the privacy of her dorm room. she doesn't even realize that she secretly wants chris to see her like this.
dealer!chris . . . fucks with girls left and right. a new chick at each party that he sells some drugs to, and, if they're pretty enough.. he'll let them suck his dick or something. hey, he got to cum down some pretty brunette's throat and got a fat stack of cash? win-win. but when he met innocent!bff! reader... she went to house parties with him sometimes. which resulted in him not getting to fuck a girl's throat-which also resulted in dealer!chris fucking his own fist at night with the thought of you in his head.
—
©eph3merall 2024
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