#literally some of the shit you people say is ptsd triggering to me

[bluejay73ffs]

Russian gov: *Is bad and horrible and does horrible things*

Russian people: Please, do not think we are the same as our government, we do not agree with them and they do not represent us!

tumblr: Yeah guys, countries aren't monoliths.

Chinese Gov: *Covered up Covid for so long until it became an international health crisis*

Chinese People: Don't blame us for the actions of our government.

tumblr: Yeah guys, citizens aren't responsible for the bad thing their governments do.

Immigrants: Hey, we come from x country, but that doesn't mean we're the same as everyone from that country.

tumblr: Yeah don't be xenophobic guys! You shouldn't judge someone based solely on their country of origin.

British People: We know we have a bad history with imperialism, but we're taking steps to distance ourselves from it.

tumblr: *Some stupid and harmless joke about British accents with at least one "innit" present*

Anyone with literally any relation to France: Hi, I-...

tumblr: We literally need to nuke France, like unironically.

[juniperskye]

Silence is Louder than Words.

Sneak peek: Joel and Ellie return to Jackson, Tommy gets them set up in a home on the outskirts of the community (per Joel’s request). Joel notices they have a neighbor and takes an interest in her. Tommy lets him know that they don’t know much about you other than you had been through some serious shit, but that you haven’t spoken a word since you’d arrived in Jackson. Tommy asks Joel to keep an eye on you…and in doing so, Joel may just be able to break through your defenses.

Joel Miller x (Fem) Reader

Fluff/Angst

Word count: 3512

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited, I did my best (ngl I had so much more planned for this but it didn't seem like it would work in this part of the story...so maybe more to come. IDK) - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, minimal use of y/n (there were parts it just couldn’t be avoided), No description of reader other than she/her pronouns and her sister was similar to Ellie (could be perceived as personality), implied age gap (kinda?), explicit language, reader has selective mutism due to trauma, Canon typical violence, PTSD, panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, mention of r*pe (past trauma, not detailed), mention of pregnancy (past, not detailed), mention of child murder (past, some detail), mention of murder. IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU, DO NOT READ!!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Joel, it’s really good to have you guys back here…safe.” Tommy said, pulling away from Joel.

“We’re glad to be back.” Joel grunted.

“Well, I have you guys situated in a house on the outermost part of the community. I figured you’d prefer it that way.” Tommy explained.

“Thanks Tommy.” Joel nodded.

Tommy led Ellie and Joel over to a house that was quite literally on the outskirts of the Jackson compound. Joel took note of the lack of neighbors as they walked further and further and it put his mind at ease, knowing he’d have some privacy. As they neared the house, it was Ellie who noticed the small white house just off to the left of their own.

“Who lives there?” Ellie questioned.

“Oh, that’s Y/N’s house. She’s real quiet, y’all won’t have to worry about her stirring up any trouble.” Tommy informed.

“I thought you said no neighbors?” Joel gruffed.

“Joel, she’s quiet. You don’t have to worry about that. Honestly, I was kind of hoping you’d keep an eye on her, just make sure she’s okay.” Tommy pleaded.

“Tommy, I’m not gonna play babysitter for a grown ass woman.”

“That’s not what I’m askin’ and you know it. She just – she’s been through it. She keeps to herself mostly and Maria and I worry about her.” Tommy explained.

“Fine. I’ll keep an eye on her. But I’m not gonna go and chit chat with her.” Joel rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t expect that.” Tommy began. “From either of you.” He mumbled. “Why don’t y’all head in and get settled, you can meet Maria and me for dinner. Sound good?”

“We will be there!” Ellie replied, pulling Joel inside by the sleeve before he could decline.

Joel couldn’t help but wonder why Tommy was so worried about you. Tommy had boasted about how the people of Jackson were all strong and each held their own. They wouldn’t be here otherwise. So, what was your deal? He’d mentioned that you had gone through some tough shit, but what was it? He had to say, he was intrigued.

His interest only grew once he saw you for the first time. It was about a week after his and Ellie’s arrival back in Jackson. You had been walking around the mess hall with a basket full of homemade goods, passing them around to people. He’d seen you pass out a few bottles of what he assumed to be some sort of toiletries as well as some clothing items to various people.

Joel waited until Ellie had run off to sit with some of her new friends to ask about you.

“So, what’s her deal?” Joel inquired.

“Who? Y/N…I thought you weren’t playing babysitter?” Tommy teased.

“I’m not. I just want to know why you think she needs looking after.” Joel replied.

“Honestly Joel, we don’t know much about her. She hasn’t said a single word in the four years she’s lived here.” Maria informed.

“Bullshit. She’s said somethin’ at some point.” Joel scoffed.

“No, Joel she really hasn’t. She knows some sign, but she mostly writes stuff down if she really needs to communicate.” Tommy said.

“Damn. Well, what’s her role around here since she doesn’t talk?” Joel couldn’t help but be confused.

“She makes all sorts of stuff for the people of our community. She’s figured out how to make shampoo, soap, lotion, sunblock, toothpaste…I mean the list goes on. She also repairs clothing when necessary, she’s the best seamstress in town.” Maria smiled at how wonderful you’d been since your arrival, jumping right in to contribute.

Joel was taken aback at how much you clearly brought to the community. Despite your silence, you’d made yourself known. Joel could see how you were well liked based on the greetings you’d received from those you were delivering to. He found it very odd that you’d keep to yourself despite Jackson’s fondness for you.

Joel had always been a loner, but it had been due to his stubbornness, sarcasm, potty mouth and overall negative attitude. His mother had always said “Joel, ever the pessimist” when he’d say something even remotely negative in his youth.

Learning all this about you had only transformed Joel’s intrigue into a need to know you. He couldn’t help how he was drawn to you, he wondered if it was because, perhaps, you were kindred spirits.

Joel woke with a gasp, his body covered in a cold sweat. Another nightmare, it had been the same recurring dream night after night since he’d found Ellie. Every time he made it through the hospital, and he’d gotten to the operating room, only this time he barges in to see the doctor holding her brain in his hands.

He woke up the same way too. Startled awake, laying in a pool of his own sweat. Joel tried to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He thought about it and decided to take a walk to clear his mind, now that he and Ellie were in the safe confines of Jackson, he was able to do so.

Joel didn’t want to stray too far in the case that Ellie needed him, so he was more so pacing from the front of their house, over to the front of yours. It was a warm and humid evening; Jackson had been nearing Autumn and Joel was looking forward to the break in the weather.

A muffled shout pulled Joel’s attention from smacking the mosquito that had surely bitten him by now. He glanced back toward his house to see if Ellie’s light had been turned on – nothing. He shook his head, ready to brush away the thought when he heard a louder scream, only it was coming from your home.

Joel rushed to the door listening just to be sure and when he heard you scream again he was quick to open the door. He was surprised to find it unlocked, although the people of Jackson seemed at ease in their community.

He swiftly surveyed the room, desperate to find you and ensure your safety. Joel found you thrashing around on your couch, screaming, begging for help. He made his way over to where you were laying and gently placed his hand on your shoulder. He shook you a few times to rouse you, but when you woke, you hadn’t reacted how Joel would have expected.

“What? What are you doing here? GET OUT!” You shouted, pushing Joel away from you.

Joel shot up, mostly in shock at hearing you speak for the first time, but also to follow your request. He made his leave, not wanting to upset you any further.

You couldn’t believe it. Joel had come into your home and woken you up. What was he thinking? Why had he been there? Had your nightmare haunted you so badly that your screams could be heard from his home? You were horrified and humiliated. You had done so well, hiding your demons, shoving them down so far that no one could see, and in a single night they’d all come out and bore themselves to none other than Joel miller.

The next few days were horrible. You had done everything in your power to avoid Joel, who seemed to be seeking you out. On top of that, your insomnia had made a wonderful return. Your mind refusing respite in fear of Joel finding you in another traumatic night terror.

You weren’t sure what had even caused your nightmare that night. You hadn’t had one in nearly a year, but thinking about it, there were a few potential triggers that came to mind. The first possibility was Maria being far enough along in her pregnancy to be showing, the second being Ellie’s striking similarities to your sister, and the last being Tommy’s mention of them finding and taking care of some raiders on his patrol that day.

Hell, it was probably a combination of all those things that had you reliving some of the worst moments of your life. You hoped that the feelings would soon pass so you could get some sleep.

“Tommy, I need you to be straight with me. What happened to Y/N before she got here? Like what do you know about her?” Joel pushed.

“Joel, I already told you we don’t know much.” Tommy huffed.

“But you know something!”

“Okay listen, she arrived here alone. She had a small pack with her and that was it. Maria and I sat with her and asked her dozens of questions, and we didn’t get a single word out of her. I stepped out to deal with something and when I got back, she had been writing her responses to Maria. I know that she had previously been with a group but none of them survived. And based on what I saw, I’d say whatever happened wasn’t pretty.” Tommy explained.

Joel just nodded, content with learning more about you. But still so curious to know what was haunting you. He couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to protect you. Of wanting to find what was causing you harm and making it so it could never hurt you again. He’s trying desperately to figure out this need to hold you and make everything okay, why he was so drawn to you.

“Look Joel, Maria told you how much she does for the community, and you’ve seen for yourself that she sticks to herself, she’s quiet, and she doesn’t cause trouble. So, we don’t push her to know more. The last thing I will say is that whatever she went through…she is a damn good shot. Do with that information what you will.” Tommy patted Joel on the shoulder and walked off.

Joel sat with the information for a bit. Had you been forced to kill your way to Jackson, is that what was haunting you? That is something that is justified, those things, they aren’t people anymore and raiders well if you didn’t kill them, then they surely would kill you so again justified. It had to have been something far worse if you refused to speak.

Joel decided he’d observe you, and he’d be there when you had another nightmare. Since losing Sarah, Joel hadn’t really wanted to be around anyone. Tess was stubborn, more so than Joel, so she was able to force herself in – and even then he didn’t open up much. And well, Ellie, she was his second chance at being a dad. But you, you had come in and taken up residency in Joel’s mind and it was because of that feeling, one he hadn’t experienced in a long time, that he knew he needed to break down your walls.

And that is how Joel found himself trying to comfort you through another nightmare. Joel had been out walking late at night again, the nights had started to finally cool off and he’d found it helped clear his head to take walks like this one.

It was nearing two in the morning when he heard it, your cries for help. He made his way up your porch steps and carefully tried the handle, saying a silent cheer when the handle turned, and the door gave way.

This had been different than the last time, as he approached you, he noticed the tear tracks lining your cheeks and he could hear your quiet whimpers. He knew he had to do this right if he was going to get you to let him in.

“Sweetheart? Wake up, you’re safe. I’m here and you are okay.” He gently shook you.

You woke up, startled once again to find Joel Miller is the one waking you. This man had a lot of nerve letting himself into your house, yet again, and while you’d love to give him an earful right now, the pain of what your nightmare had brought forth in your mind was crippling.

So, you threw yourself into Joel’s arms. He wrapped himself around you and repositioned himself, so he was sat on the couch, and you were in his lap. Your face was buried in his neck and his arms were tight around your waist. He ran his fingers gently through your hair and whispered reassurances in your ear.

He held you until you fell asleep and when you woke up at sunrise, he released you and saw himself out. He knew he had to gain your trust, and it would take time. This is how it would need to be done, he would have to keep quiet and leave when the morning came.

A few hours later, after he and Ellie had breakfast, she was heading out to school. Joel was expecting her to leave like usual, so he was pretty confused when she returned to the kitchen carrying a small wicker basket.

“This was on the porch, I gotta head to class or I’ll be late!” She waved and headed out.

“Thanks kiddo. Have a good day.” Joel said goodbye.

He slowly pulled the items from the basket and a small smile graced his features. He brought them out one-by-one, a bottle of sunscreen, a bar of soap, some solid deodorant and a new flannel shirt. Beneath everything was a small note.

"Joel, I wanted to give you these as a sort of thank you and apology. Sorry for yelling at you that first night and thank you for last night. I figured you and Ellie could use some hygiene products that weren’t pre-apocalyptic. I also noticed how torn up your flannel had been and wanted you to have one that wasn’t threadbare.                                                                                                 -Y/N”

Joel’s smile grew, this was just the beginning of his mission to break down your walls and it was off to a successful start.

You proceeded to have nightmares at least twice a week for the next three months. Joel was with you for every single one. Each time he’d gently wake you and he’d shush you, assuring that you were okay. The only thing that had changed was that more recently, Joel would carry you off of the couch and to your room, where he’d hold you close until you fell asleep.

In the last week the nightmares had come every night, and while Joel so badly wanted to ask why, he knew that he had to let you come to him. You had spoken to him in two-to-three-word responses in the last few weeks and Joel was so glad that you’d been able to open up to him even that much.

What he didn’t know was that the reason your nightmares had become more frequent was because Maria had finally given birth. Seeing her with her baby had been killing you, it had brought back so many awful memories and you knew that you’d need to tell Joel. You’d wanted to tell him days ago why you had been having such a hard time, but you were also terrified of it changing the dynamic between you.

Something was different tonight; you had slipped Joel a note during dinner at the mess hall, inviting him to come by your place a bit earlier. When he arrived you couldn’t help but be nervous, you felt so unsure of everything, but you were starting to trust Joel and some part of you knew that he would understand everything.

You had decided it was now or never. He had been with you every night of the week and he never pushed you to share. He told you about what he had been through and some of the things he had done to get here and had let you meet him with silence. You supposed now was your turn to share.

“Joel?”

“Yeah sweetheart?” He tried to hide his surprise at your initiation.

“I want to tell you what happened…is that okay?”

“Of course, sweet girl. Only share what you’re comfortable with okay? I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Joel pressed a light kiss to your temple.

“So, it started with my sister and I, she was younger than me, Ellie reminds me a lot of her. She and I well, we got caught up with these raiders. Well, they, they uh…” You choked.

“It’s okay honey, take your time.” Joel rubbed a soothing hand down your spine.

“They forced themselves on us and left us both beaten and bloody. After that, my sister was in a bad way Joel. She uh, she was reckless and careless, and she got herself killed. And well, I ended up pregnant. I found my way to this small group of people that were headed here to Jackson. I guess they had heard it was a community and it was safe. We lost people along the way and sometimes we’d stop and stay somewhere for a month or so if we found it suitable. Anyway, by this time there’s only four of us left and I had my baby…” Tears started freely flowing down your face and Joel gently wiped them away.

“Sweetheart you really don’t have to…” Joel could tell where this was going.

“I need to say it. I’ve never said this out loud and I need to. My son was born, and he was beautiful. But he had colic and so he cried all the time. I did everything I could to keep him quiet as we went but it was putting us in danger, and I knew it. I offered to let them go on without me, I told them that he and I would come when he’d grown out of it. But a little while later I’d woken up to find him dead.” You sobbed. “They had suffocated him, claiming that we’d never get anywhere with him crying all the time and that they didn’t want to leave me behind. I killed them all Joel. I didn’t even hesitate. I pulled my gun out and I shot all three of them and then I left and never turned back.”

Everything came together, it had all started to make perfect sense. You’d held onto this guilt for the last four to five years. Survivors guilt over the loss of your sister, guilt of not being there for your child – something Joel knew all too well, and the guilt of killing people that you once cared about. He completely understood, he too would’ve stayed silent had he been through all that you had. What is there to say when you’ve lost everyone.

Joel held you tighter, allowing you to cry softly into his chest. He wanted to give you a few moments to calm yourself down before he said anything to you. He knew how delicate this situation was, and he needed to do things right.

“Sweetheart, I want to start by saying how sorry I am. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I also want you to know that you can’t feel guilty, and I know that it’s easier said than done but darlin’ you did everything you needed to in order to survive. You wouldn’t be here any other way baby girl.” Joel pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Thank you Joel. For being here and for – for listening to me. I can’t quite explain it, but I trust you and so, I don’t know, I just wanted to tell you. Having you around has made me feel better honestly and it’s sort of the only way I can sleep anymore.” You explained.

“I trust you too baby, and you’re not the only one. I sleep better with you here too, having you in my arms these last few months, it’s been amazing. Besides Tommy and Ellie, I think you’re about the only person I trust.” Joel smiled down at you.

From then on, things had changed between Joel and you. He was the only person you talked to, you shared everything with him. Joel and you spent every night together some nights at your place and more recently, some nights at his. Initially, you’d expressed your worries in doing so, you told him you didn’t want the entire town to know, and you were worried about running into Ellie in the hallway.

Joel had told you that there was no need for some public spectacle and that there was no need for worries that it would get out amongst the townies. He also reassured you that Ellie was a good kid, and she could keep a secret.

So, little by little you opened up to Joel, Ellie, and soon enough Maria and Tommy too. The five of you had become a family, you’d found that you fit into it almost too well, so much so that it was beginning to scare you.

Despite your fears, you allowed yourself to fall. Joel had proven to you time and time again that he was there for you and that he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d also gotten you living by the philosophy that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and you needed to take this life while you had it.

So, you did.

[fungusgnat444]

König tropes I want to burn with hell fire

sorry for this unprompted rant but some of you guys are starting to ruin my favourite comfort character (CW mentions of noncon/r*pe, mentions of xenophobia, mentions of n*zis, general problematic behaviour, mentions of bad disability/mental health representation)

-1. Casual xenophobia- I’ve lost count of the amount of content that depicts König as a n*zi and I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you why that’s not ok. These things should not be fetishised and doing this is overall just super ignorant. That’s probably the worst instance of this kind of things but there are a ton of examples. Like a lot of people seem to think that every German speaking country is exactly the same. And to codify him as a German speaker everyone seems to think they can just slap on whatever offensive stereotype they want. As someone who has visited German speaking countries multiple times and knows native German speakers personally, believe it or not not all German men are rude, humourless, cruel, alcoholic perverts who treat women like shit and have a bunch of super fucked up kinks and no understanding of consent. If any of you had ever met someone from this part of the world you’d know that in general they are very polite and friendly people. If you want to use a stereotype there are plenty that aren’t offensive and ignorant that could be fun character quirks (eg. Germans always having to have the windows open, having a sweet tooth, having three different drinks with breakfast (water for hydration, coffee for energy, juice for nutrition. Trust me it’s a whole thing lol), being obsessed with always being on time (also works because he’s in the military) etc.). Like please at least try to be a little respectful. And if you’re going to show him speaking German at least learn the basics. Duolingo is free lol.

2 mental health/disabilities- as someone who actually has autism I think it’s kinda cool that some people have written him as autistic or having adhd etc. but if you’re going to do this can you please just do a little research so you get the symptoms right and not over generalise. Like autistic people can in fact understand humour and sarcasm most of the time we’re not robots. It’s 2024 like can we stop this trope please. A lot of people write him having anxiety or ptsd, which again I think is super cool but it’s often used as an excuse for him being aggressive/violent. Like this isn’t cute, if someone is treating you like this regardless of if they struggle with mental health or not there’s never an excuse for violence.

3 r*pe/non con- this point is kinda about fanfic in general but I see it a lot with könig especially. People need to understand the difference between a cnc kink and just plain assault. Cnc is a consensual agreement with safe words and boundaries and aftercare and mutual enjoyment. What most of these fics say is cnc is literally just him being a sexual predator. For a lot of people this is super triggering and romanticising r*pe is just disgusting.

again sorry for the rant guys but I really just needed to get this off my chest. Like this stuff has gotten in the way of my own writing and is really starting to ruin the appeal of his character. Like I beg of you can someone please write something where he’s just a sweet anxious Austrian guy who’s kind and respectful despite his reputation? Like I really don’t think I’m asking for much.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Guys bros girls and pals.

I am not joking when I say take care of yourself and shit and stay away from graphic and triggering things online.

I did not do that as a kid now I have unironic PTSD from some of the shit I’ve seen + from the childhood traumas.

I am not joking about it at all I know most people are like “that’s not a thing” it actually is, it’s usually just not that bad for most people.

But there’s a threshold and once you cross it you literally unironically get flashbacks and shit. (Why must I deal with that on top of everything)

there’s an actual reason why moderators have therapists and shit on site, and it’s a violation to not have any.

it’s because you can get unironic PTSD from viewing horrific videos and shit.

it’s more of a cumulative thing then a one off thing, so if your like me and kept seeing straight up CSA/SA, actual cannibalism shit/got in a online cannibalism cult as a kid, graphic animal violence and abuse and death, graphic violence and death, and more horrible things I can’t list.

yeah you get a form of PTSD from it. idk how, but you do.

it’s not even that uncommon of a situation for people to have, usually people don’t realise it happens and just keep ruminating and getting worse and worse. And then they die so you know bad.

But yeah I literally cannot think about those memories and things without feeling like shit and crying, and getting depressed and suicidal so yeah no it’s a thing.

when I say “yeah there’s not a lot of people like me who live to tell the tale” that’s why.

they just straight up have horrible mental health problems as do i.

But I can just manage it better.

I have not met anyone who’s seen the same shit I’ve seen without severe mental health problems, like dude we are rare as shit.

I’ve met approximately 2-3 people who have a SLIGHT idea of what I mean and exactly 1 person whose experienced similar things and all that.

like I will keep warning you all, because this shit genuinely sucks ass.

YEAH, seeing the horrors everyday for years upon years actually gives you problems!

please listen to me don’t fucking go on some sort of “I am a horrible person I must view the horrors” trip you will regret it for the rest of your damned life.

your just hurting yourself, fucking relax please.

[smytherines]

Alright. We know that Owen is trying to get Chimera's surveillance network up and global, to have "a world without agencies, a world without spies, a world without secrets."

We also know that the US government is attempting to do basically the same thing as Chimera.

Hear me out. What if it isn't that Owen doesn't care about exposing men like him and Curt. What if he's actually, in some weird way, trying to protect Curt? Or liberate him? Or at least, men like them?

Like maybe it started out as wanting to destroy Curt, as DMA he certainly wanted to kill Curt. But he didn't. I don't think he would've even if Tatiana hadn't rescued him. At least not from behind, without showing Curt who he really was first.

DMA was a role for Owen. He probably tortured a bunch of people. He probably even enjoyed it. He's kind of fucked up after breaking probably half the bones in his body and watching his partner run away before getting a building exploded on him. I think it's easier for him to be DMA than to be Owen Carvour. He is literally masking (autistic Owen headcanon for the win).

Owen has no logical reason to tell Curt about his plan or reveal who he really is after killing Von N*zi. The only possible reason is to get Curt to chase after him. So much of my Owen Carvour headcanon is based entirely on the acting choices Joey Richter makes during the staircase scene, because holy shit it is truly spectacular (obviously Curt Mega does an amazing job too, but it doesn't subvert anything about the character for me until the Big Reveal).

It looks like Owen has so much he wants to say, he has the gun on Curt for quite awhile just chattering away at him, but he's so furious and he hates Curt so much and he loves Curt so much that he can't find the words. He tries to be icy and distant and cold and condescending, but he looks... I dunno, incredibly sad? He's frustrated, like he cannot understand how Curt still worships all of this macho spy shit, working for a government that would destroy him for being gay.

My headcanon is that Owen wants to dismantle everything Curt ever believed in because what he believes in led to Owen nearly dying and Curt diving off the deep end with his alcohol use. Their governments destroy men like them, and having a surveillance network will only make that task easier. If Owen has control of that network, he'll be a God. Nobody will be able to touch him, or use his secrets against him. Maybe even somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks that he'd be able to protect them, as a couple.

Back to the acting choices, the part where Curt reminds Owen of their relationship, where he steps right into the gun and Owen lowers it (pointing it at Curt's heart, ugh) and he genuinely looks hesitant, he looks taken aback, like he didn't expect Curt to care about him or about their relationship at all anymore. And then he remembers what Curt did to him, remembers how much he suffered for Curt's hubris, maybe has a lil PTSD flashback of his own, and raises the gun back up and says "that secret died the night you left me for dead." That whole moment is just... a really tremendous acting job. He loves Curt, but he can't forgive him. He hates Curt, but he can't kill him.

It's a great scene on paper, but the choices they make here are all perfect. The staircase scene swap really drove this point home for me too, because actor Curt Mega is incredible, he nails the menace and the arrogance that are definitely part of that performance, but it's a cold read and definitely a different read on the character.

The thing that makes me an Owen Carvour apologist is how much emotion and vulnerability and uncertainty Joey Richter puts into the role. For an evil guy doing evil guy shit, he doesn't play it very arch. He does the menace and arrogance, but those aspects keep getting pushed to the background by the little breaks in his voice and the sadness in his eyes.

For me, the moment before Curt pulls the trigger, Owen looks almost... disappointed in him? Like he really thought that despite everything that has happened, that Curt would never choose to hurt him on purpose. I said it before, but it's like in some way he's still in the rubble waiting for Curt to save him. To care enough about him to save him.

I know how I interpret this show is based a lot more in acting choices and real-world politics and my political beliefs than it is in the text of the show, that this is a genre show with genre rules, but I really fucking appreciate having gay characters who were canonically in a relationship, who have enough complexity and are played with enough sincerity for people (me) to have long, involved headcanon about them.

(Also to be very very clear, actor Curt Mega does an incredible job in the staircase scene, the moments where agent Mega gets to be vulnerable and sincere are some of the best acting moments in the show and hurt every single time, when he steps into that gun I feel like I'm dying)

[theninth09]

I have returned to rant at/with you! Brett talbot. Believe it or not I don’t hate Brett I think he’s actually an interesting character and I would have liked to see him and Liam eventually become good friends. BUT I don’t care how fangirly some of the fandom are because of his abs and the love he has for his sister, he’s a gradeA asshole who did a disgusting thing for a dumb reason.

I hate some fanfics where Brett lives and still treats Liam horrible. Especially because they like to make Theo and Brett bffs, like I’m sorry this man smashed a man’s head to a mirror and snapped a ghost riders head for threatening Liam and you expect me to think Theo would be friends to someone with that same history who STILL treats Liam like dirt. HONESTLY WE SHOULD THANK JEFF THAT HE KILLED BRETT BECAUSE IF THEO IN CANON WOULD HAVE EVER MET BRETT AFTER LEARNING WHAT HE DID TO LIAM THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE FOUND THE BODY!!!

The fact that Liam could even attempt to make peace with him in season 5&6b makes him a fricken saint, because while being teased sucks it’s another thing to be physically assaulted by someone twice your size and strength. And Liam still helps him and considers him a friend only to still be treated shitty by Brett, especially because as far as we know Liam never did anything directly to Brett himself only the schools coach. Like I’m sorry that you are on a thin scholarship that is for both you and your sister but that doesn’t excuse you from attacking a 15 year old boy cause he doesn’t match YOUR standards on YOUR team. Because that’s what he and his teammates did, they kidnapped and beat Liam as he was still human. While the others don’t know about the supernatural, Brett does, and would be significantly stronger than the others when hurling literal sports balls at a defenceless teenager in a cage. He could have been arrested if Liam pressed charges.

And the people who like to say it was a hallucination caused by guilt are ridiculous. Why would Liam hallucinate something so specific if he was feeling guilty about Brett’s death. If that was the case instead he should have seen Brett dying over and over or Brett telling him- “it’s your fault me and Lori died!” Not “we lost, and it’s your fault!” Like I’m sorry lacrosse is important to Liam but it’s NOT THAT important. Liam very obviously is triggered in an episode called triggers, if the episode was guilt it would have been called something according to that. Like that kid must have some serious PTSD and half of it isn’t even from all the supernatural shit he’s seen, which is heartbreaking and makes me want to hug him so tight that he never feels pain again.

I’m sorry I ranted…

i think bretts and liams friendship fits into the pattern that liam has with all his other friends. except for mason, basically all of his relationships start of extremely rocky. scott and stiles, hayden, corey, theo, nolan... all of these people he didnt particularly like. he fights with them (physically), they put him into dangerous situations/threaten him (scott, theo, nolan) and he has to learn to trust them. brett fits right into that, technically.

the detail that stands out is that brett is literally just a bully. all the other characters i listed, they had reasons for why they treated liam the way they did. like. theo and nolan were both about to kill liam, but that was because of their circumstances. they didnt have something specifically against liam.

brett, on the other hand, is just mean to him? i already talked about that i think the flashback liam has is definitely a real memory and as you said, liam wasnt a werewolf back then and nothing about that scene indicates that liams own behavior was reason for brett to go to such extreme measures. and i understand that brett has reason to be pissed off at liam for what he did to their coach's car, but the way he continously makes fun of liams disorder and is so rude to him, literally up until his death?

like... i love asshole characters (obviously, i love theo) but even theo has his soft moments. theo shows again and again in s6 that he cares about liam. we never see anything like that from brett. he cares about his sister, wow, but thats one line right before they both die. doesnt exactly give them much depth or makes me care about them.

and yeah i agree. im not a fan of people including brett (and sometimes lori) in fics, idk. i get that fanfiction is there to have fun and it doesnt need to make sense in canon. people bring back allison, erica, boyd, etc all the time in fanfiction and thats cool. you do you. but i personally dont understand why people are so obsessed with brett. its not like he was a fascinating character or anything and as someone who prefers canon-compliant fics, making him still be alive erases so much of liams development and even thiams dynamic. if you want more members for the puppy pack, nolan, alec, hayden and gwen are right there.

and god yeah no i dont like this idea of theo and brett being friends at all. i guess you could argue they have slightly similar personalities bc of their abrasive attitude, but thats just not enough to convince me that theyd get along. and yeah, theo has the biggest fucking soft spot for liam. obviously he knows that liam can handle himself, but i dont think that hed be completely unbothered by what brett did.

if you want to give theo new friends other than liam, so many other characters make more sense in my opinion. let him reconnect with scott. let him bond with corey or hayden because they were part of the chimera pack. let him bond with nolan as they were both antagonists in liams life and have to earn his trust. let him bond with alec who we basically know nothing about anyway so its easy to make him into someone that theo could get to know.

or yknow. do whatever you want and bring brett back, i guess.

[poisonedspider]

This is just my 'safe place' (ironic since it's full of demons and sinners haahahaha) so I just need to vent a bit. But I'll put it under a trigger warning for drama, cancel culture, blocking, whining, whatever else you want to say. It is against no one in particular, for the record!

I just hate that I legit have PTSD from Tumblr fandoms. Like. That sounds silly, but it's true - and I can say it's true, as a therapist, because I meet all the criteria. And I've talked to my own therapist about it (which is kind of just....sad me thinks). Like. I am a big believer in this is your space and make it how you want. Curate it how you want. This is a hobby, you owe no one, blah blah. Yet I still always go into full blown panic mode when someone blocks me out of nowhere. Especially when we were either a) having great reactions and nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen or b) we had yet to interact but wanted to and suddenly...nope.

Like if I didn't have the PTSD behind it, I'd still be sad. I adore writing. I adore storytelling. I want to create with every single person on here. But it wouldn't send me into this absolutely distressing DREAD. The fear the rumors are being spread about me again. (If you ever need/want to know what happened in past fandoms, my inbox is always open, but I can tell you that as of January 2023 so literally a whole ass year ago, the person apologized directly to me *I have every screenshot trust me I made sure to cover my ass so fast* and took down the faked call out). The fear that people still believe those rumors. The fear the people see the name 'Strode' and immediately block because they heard something that was just never true. The fear that I'm going to wake up to anons in my askbox telling me to k*ll myself again, or see the 400+ reblogs of hate against me saying scum like me shouldn't be on this website.

And honestly? Even if that stuff had been true (again, it wasn't, and I'm....so annoyed and hurt by it all but - ) that was still A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. Do people not change? Or are they not given the ability to? Tumblr can be so whack in how it crucifies people and does not allow room for growth. So at the end of the day, it's hard for me to see a block as 'innocent.' It could be ANYTHING. Maybe I post too much ooc. Share too much fanart. Didn't reply in enough time. Who hecking knows, right? It could be literally anything. Hell, maybe I'm interacting with someone they don't want to see. But because of my trauma, it always comes down to fear. Fear of what do people think I did. Why am I the bad guy now. What is going to make me scared to survive in this fandom as well.

This is all very much Benadryl/Mucinex inspired but....I like to share my thoughts. I think it can be helpful for someone to see and be like "I needed to hear this, because I have felt this way too." To realize people aren't alone. Because in October 2022, I felt the loneliest in my life due to 'cancel culture'. To watching my followers drop from 600 something down to 142 (no joke). To realizing I spent some of the last moments I would have with my grandma before she stopped remembering who I was crying about fictional people who suddenly hated me over night.

Sometimes it makes me scared to sleep. Not knowing what I'll wake up to. Not knowing who I'll lose next that I've grown to care about. I guess just know that you all matter to me, more than just a hobby. I see you as friends. I care about your days. And if you were to disappear, I'd be worried sick.

Again, no shame about blocking. But at the end of the day, a 'block' can have a lot more impact than I think people realize.

(Also haaaa the fact that I got an inbox message right as I was typing this and my heartrate peaked so quickly then I saw it was just aracniss like lol for some reason that's hysterical because that brotherly shit WOULD happen just to mess with Angie).

[sjsmith56]

Second Date

Summary: Bucky and Holly double date with Steve and her sister, Ivy. They go to Coney Island then Steve drives them through Brooklyn before stopping at a place special to him.

Length: 4.6K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, named OFC sisters, douchebag co-worker

Warnings: discussion of a bad date, discussion of PTSD triggers, some fun is made of the OFC names which is promptly dealt with, sad memory for Steve.

Author notes: Wasn’t sure I was going to write a sequel but enough people asked for one. No smut, pure fluff, with some sad sweetness near the end.

First Date Third Date

🎡 🎢

Holly

The morning after my first date with Bucky Barnes I made myself a coffee then I phoned my sister, Ivy.

“Well, how did it go?” she asked.

“First of all, he’s drop dead gorgeous,” I replied. “Secondly, he kisses very well and thirdly, he’s a gentleman. It was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.”

There was a little sound of wistfulness in her voice.

“I’m jealous,” she sighed. “I had to listen to my roommate calling her latest boyfriend Daddy all night, and I mean all night.”

“Well, we may have discussed the possibility of a double date with you and Steve Rogers.”

“You didn’t,” said Ivy. She waited for me to say I was joking. “You really did? Oh my God! You’re my favourite sister.”

“I’m your only sister,” I reminded her. My phone vibrated indicating a text message. “Hold on, I got a text.”

Him: Good morning pretty girl. I brought up a double date with Steve. He’s game, if your sister is.

Me: I’m just on the phone with her. I’ll call you back.

“Well, guess what?” I asked my sister. “That was Bucky. Steve Rogers is up for a double date with you, me and him.”

I had to put the phone away from my ear as Ivy literally screamed. It was obvious she thought a double date with Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was a good idea. After several moments of me not saying anything while she calmed down her voice finally came back.

“When is the date?” she asked, her voice sounding a little scratchy, no doubt due to the fangirl screaming she just did. “Where will we go?”

“Didn’t get that far in the text conversation,” I replied. “I’m guessing as soon as possible, and we could go anywhere that doesn’t involve heights.” I could feel her disappointment through the phone. “What?”

“I’ve always wanted to go on a date to Coney Island,” she said. “You know, the rides, the lights, the sounds, the gorgeous man on my arm that wins me a prize at the shooting gallery.”

“What are you, 14?” I asked, surprised that Ivy would suggest an amusement park. “It might be too intense for Bucky. He said himself he doesn’t do too well in crowded spaces.”

“Forget I said it,” she huffed, her breath so loud I could hear it over the phone. “I have to go to work. Just make sure that wherever we go is fun. You know how I feel about going somewhere fancy.”

I did know. It was something that still bothered her.

“Alright, I’ll talk to Bucky, and we’ll figure something out, I promise. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

We ended the call and I sat for a moment then dialled Bucky. As soon as I heard his voice I wanted to melt. If honey could be transformed into a sound, I’m sure it would sound just like him. Quickly I told him that she wanted the date and that she wanted to go to Coney Island. There was no response for a moment, and I was sure that I had just thrown the biggest bucket of ice water at someone who was trying to be nice. If it was only that simple.

〰️〰️〰️〰️

Bucky

“Coney Island?” Shit. I hadn’t been there since 1943. “Why Coney Island?”

“It all boils down to a date that Ivy had with a guy,” she said.

“Hold on, your sister’s name is Ivy? You’re Holly and Ivy, like the Christmas song?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and I figured I had just put the kibosh on the whole thing. Then I heard a sigh and Holly’s voice.

“Yes, we were named after the Christmas song because we were born a year apart during Christmas week,” she replied, obviously tired of having to repeat her spiel. “Our parents thought it was cute to name me Holly, so that I would always have a song that was just about me. Then Ivy was born almost exactly a year later, and they thought it would be even cuter to name her that. That way, no one would ever forget our names and we would be linked forever as besties.”

I could feel the irritation through the phone as she obviously had to explain this many times over. “I like your name,” I offered. “Ivy is a pretty name, too. I’ll fill Steve in, so he doesn’t bring it up when he meets her. Now tell me about this date that Ivy had. He didn’t try anything did he?”

Holly sighed. “No, quite the opposite. It was a guy she worked with, Jeff. They flirted back and forth, and she thought he really liked her. He asked her out, told her to get dressed up really nice as he was going to take her to a fancy place. They show up at the restaurant and there’s another couple already at the table. A beautiful woman and her brother, her socially inept brother. Ivy wasn’t Jeff’s date … she was brought to be the brother’s date. He had no idea how to behave around people and it turned into the date from hell. The worst part was that Jeff and the sister ditched them both, leaving them to pay for the meal. The brother didn’t have enough money and Ivy had to pay for it on her credit card. Jeff never did pay her back and she felt so humiliated that she quit that job.”

Talk about being floored. That dumbass of a co-worker totally set up Ivy to be with the brother, then he left her to foot the bill.

“Where did she work?” I asked, ready to go over there right away and set this Jeff guy right.

“You offering to go over and kick his ass?” asked Holly.

“Well, yeah,” I answered. “I hate guys like that. So does Steve.” She told me. “Alright, we’ll take care of Jeff and we’ll set up the date. I can’t promise it will be Coney Island, but we’ll try to make it happen, okay?”

After hanging up I went to the common area in the Tower. Steve looked at me from where he was going over some papers.

“Well, are we going out?” he asked, his excitement barely contained. “What’s she like?”

“I haven’t met her,” I said. “But she wants to go somewhere specific, and you might not like it.” By this time several of the others there were listening in and watching us. “Coney Island.”

To say that his eyes almost rolled off of his face and onto the floor wouldn’t be too much of an exaggeration. Neither one of us had any real objection to Coney Island. Hell, we’d been there enough times when we were kids and had a ball, except for when Steve threw up on the roller coaster. It was more than that. The sounds, the crowds, the pure chaos that an amusement park could be was a bit much for us to handle. If we were on a mission, we could tune that sort of stuff out and deal with the task at hand but in a non-mission setting it was something else entirely.

“Why Coney Island?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

I told him about Jeff and the fancy restaurant date. His eyes grew darker as I explained how that fancy date had traumatized her. The others had been listening in and I could tell they weren’t impressed with Jeff, the lying asshole co-worker, either. It was then that Sam had to open his big mouth.

“Wait a second,” said our supposed friend. “Your girlfriend’s name is Holly, and her sister is Ivy?” He literally giggled. “That’s hilarious.”

I explained about them being born a year apart during Christmas week and how their parents thought it would be cute.

“You, of all people, shouldn’t be making fun of their names … Uncle Sam,” glowered Steve.

“I wasn’t ….”

The place erupted with everyone arguing over making fun of names until we were all surprised when Tony jolted all of us with an ear-blasting whistle. It was impressive.

“No more making fun of people’s names,” he said, then waved his hands at us. “I know, I’m not much better with the nicknames I give people, but Holly and Ivy are pretty names, and they had no choice in being given them. We get the giggles about them over and done with this moment. Now, about Coney Island.” He looked seriously at me and Steve. “It’s the PTSD part, isn’t it? The noise, the lights, the crowds?” We both nodded. “Good thing I’m a billionaire and a genius inventor. I can make Coney Island open only to us, the Avengers and the support staff. It’s about time we had a fun night out at an amusement park. For you two, I can come up with an earpiece that filters out the frequency of sounds that might trigger you. I can also come up with a filter in either glasses or contact lenses that will block the lights from seeming too bright. We can have it all ready to go by say Friday?”

“Yes Mr. Stark?”

The AI replied to Tony saying her name even though he meant the day (I know it’s an it but with her voice it was just easier to think of it as her). We all roared as he shook his head then a gleam hit his eye. He asked the AI to confirm if Jeff still worked at the same location. Then he asked her to book all of Coney Island for a private party on Friday, cost no object. Finally, he asked her to begin designing earpieces for Steve and me (he used the nicknames Capsicle and Manchurian Candidate but that was Tony) that blocked a certain frequency of sound, and contact lenses for both of us, that would mute the effects of flashing lights. He also asked Steve and me to wait on dealing with Jeff.

〰️〰️〰️〰️

Wednesday

Bucky

“Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers,” said Friday. “Mr. Stark would like to see you in the boardroom. He has a visitor who is applying for a position and would like your assistance with the interview. He said to drop what you were doing and come immediately.”

We were sparring in the gym and looked at each other, a visible smile on Steve’s face that was likely matched by the smile on mine. Together we went to the boardroom and could see through the glass wall that Tony was chatting amiably with a guy dressed up in a suit. In we walked, wearing our workout clothes, still dripping with sweat. Nervously, the guy stood up, holding his hand out to each of us. We shook it, both of us squeezing it a little harder than we should, but hell, he shouldn’t have been a douchebag (that is the term that Sam used) to Ivy.

“Wow, Captain America and the Winter … Bucky Barnes,” he said, realizing his mistake as I glared at him. “It’s an honour.”

“Gentlemen, this is Jeff Leeman,” said Tony. “The recruitment firm brought him to my attention, and I thought you would both like the opportunity to join the interview before I make a decision on his position. Perhaps you have a question about how he would handle certain situations.”

“Sure,” said Steve, playing Mr. Nice Guy. “We do have a lot of female staff, plus several different ethnicities including aliens. How are your interpersonal skills in dealing with a diverse and inclusive workforce?”

“Oh, top notch. I’m all for shattering the glass ceiling, being supportive of women in the workplace as well as those with disabilities or disadvantages, either physically or otherwise.”

“That’s good to hear,” I interjected. “We’ve been burned in the past by people who claimed the same qualities then a deeper search of their work history or social media posts uncovered a pattern of subtle abuse that if we had caught sooner would have definitely negated them being offered a position. You have nothing like that in your past, do you, Mr. Leeman?”

“N-no, nothing like that,” he answered slowly, then he looked left towards the exit before grimacing subtly, all signs of lying that I was very aware of. “I’m a very supportive coworker, honest without being cruel, um, understanding, professional in all of my dealings.”

Tony nodded his head sagely, briefly making eye contact with me. I almost laughed because I could read Tony as well. He was just about at his limit with this guy.

“I would like to give you a scenario,” said Tony. “Seeing as how you would be in our Human Resources department. Say you had a man at an interview, and he claimed that he was honest, trustworthy, honourable, considerate … you get my drift, right?” Jeff nodded nervously. “Then while you were doing your due diligence, being the good HR employee that I, and the rest of the Avengers would expect, you learned something disturbing about that man. What would you do?”

Jeff was really looking nervous now and I could see and smell, a sheen of fine sweat on his forehead. I decided to turn up the heat.

“Say for example, you learned he asked a coworker at his current position out, after spending time flirting, being courteous, and building an expectation of a relationship.” Jeff was beginning to look green. “Then he took her to a fancy restaurant where they met another couple, a brother and sister, say. Only then did he make it clear to his coworker that she wasn’t his date, she was meant for the slob currently sitting with the woman.”

“It was a joke,” he stammered.

Steve slammed his hand down on the table, surprising both me and Tony.

“It wasn’t a joke to her,” he growled. “Then you had the audacity to ditch her, leaving her with a strange man, without paying the bill.” He got up out of his seat and leaned towards Jeff. “Guys like you make me sick. Do that again to anyone and I hear about it will make me angry. In the words of my friend, the Hulk, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. Get out now before I change my mind about letting you go.”

I don’t think I ever saw a normal human run as fast as Jeff did to the elevators, pounding away on the button for it in a panic, even though it should have opened automatically. I think Tony just wanted to watch Jeff lose it. Tony brought up the security camera link inside the elevator car on a visual display and we watched Jeff cowering in the corner, then making a beeline for the doors to the street when he left the elevator. As soon as Jeff was out on the street Tony turned to both of us with his smirk.

“That was a lot of fun,” he said. “Now, for Friday night. The park is ours from 7 pm to 11 pm, ending with a big fireworks display, which I’m guessing you will both want to skip. The people enjoying the park with us will be fellow Avengers and support staff with their families. They’ve all been warned to pretend they don’t know you.” He shrugged. “Whether they listen to me is another matter. The earpieces and contact lenses will be ready tomorrow. You can borrow the Lexus SUV to pick up and drive your dates. Whether you bring them back here or whatever is up to you. Personally, I’m looking forward to taking my two best girls to the amusement park. Should be fun.”

〰️〰️〰️

Friday

Holly

The knock on my door was right on time. I opened it to see Bucky wearing a dark green leather jacket, black T-shirt and jeans. He must have got a haircut as well as it was definitely shorter, but he still looked amazing. As I picked up my jacket, he just kind of smiled at me in a different way.

“What?” I asked, looking down at what I was wearing. “Do I have some food stains on me?”

“No,” he grinned. “You look incredible. I’ll have the prettiest girl on my arm at Coney Island.”

I could feel my cheeks heat up at the compliment as I wasn’t used to it. Holding my jacket just right he helped me on with it then placed his hands on my shoulder and leaned close to my ear.

“You look good all the time.”

His voice was so soft that I almost turned into a puddle right then and there. I don’t know if it was because he was from the 1940s when dating was something different, but I didn’t care. I really liked how he made me feel. After locking up and taking the elevator down we stepped out to where a Lexus SUV was double parked. Opening the back door, he helped me in then sat next to me in the back seat.

“Holly, this is Steve,” he said, nodding his head to the driver, clad in a black leather jacket and T-shirt.

With a voice that was silky smooth the big man at the wheel turned around and flashed me an incredible smile.

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, then gestured to a display on the vehicle. “Just say your sister’s address and Friday will plot the directions.”

“Friday?” I asked.

A female voice greeted me and asked for Ivy’s address. I gave it to her … it … and suddenly a course was shown on the display on the dashboard. Putting the car into gear Steve began driving, asking me generic questions while looking at me through the rear-view mirror. I had seen him on TV and in newspaper articles but seeing him in person was something else. Ivy was definitely not going to believe how good looking he really was. When we got to her building, I started to unbuckle my seatbelt, but Bucky stopped me as Steve got out of the car.

“Steve will get her,” he said, then he put his arm around me and kissed me. “I’m looking forward to this. Haven’t been to Coney Island since 1943. There’s something you should know first.” He took a deep breath and for a moment I thought he was going to say something like he just wanted to be friends. “Steve and I both have PTSD, and it’s triggered by different things but also some similar things. The noises, lights, and crowds there are triggers. Tony invented some earpieces for us that filter out the noise, as well as contact lenses that mute the effect of the flashing lights. Both of us have issues with fireworks and the filters aren’t enough to keep us comfortable so we’ll have to leave before 11:00 when they start. I hope that’s okay.”

I didn’t really know what to say. These two big burly men, who took on some of the worst villains in the world, had fears that could be triggered by an amusement park. Instead of doing something else, they made an effort to find a way to go, just to make Ivy happy. How sweet was that?

“There’s also something else.” His voice rumbled then he took a breath. “We kind of had an encounter with Jeff. We didn’t hurt him or even touch him other than a handshake. Just had a talk with him about playing with women’s hearts and humiliating them for fun. Tony was there and well; it was pretty damn satisfying to see Jeff almost pee his pants trying to get out of the Tower.”

“You did that for Ivy?” I asked. “You haven’t even met her! For all you know she could be a complete b….”

Bucky squeezed my hand to interrupt me as the passenger side door opened and Ivy got in, her face all aglow. Steve closed the door and got behind the wheel.

“Ivy, this is Bucky Barnes,” he said. “You already know Holly very well.”

She smirked then put her hand towards us and shook Bucky’s hand. “I’m pleased to meet you,” she said. “Steve told me what you and Tony Stark did to Jeff. I wish I could have seen it.”

“Actually, you probably can,” smiled Steve, with a definite twinkle in his eye. “Friday records everything.”

“I definitely want to see it,” she exclaimed, snapping her seatbelt into place. “Let’s go to Coney Island.”

Even though I made fun of Ivy for choosing the location of the date I have to admit we had a blast. It became very obvious to us that everyone else at the park had a connection to the Avengers, especially when Tony Stark himself stopped us on the boardwalk to ask if we were having a good time. It didn’t matter as we both figured if the general public were there that we would be stopped every minute for selfies or autographs. The guys themselves were attentive, making us feel like we were the centre of their world. They were also competitive, especially at the shooting gallery as they both did their best to outdo each other in winning the biggest stuffed animal. Bucky came out on top, claiming his WWII sniper experience as the winning factor.

We met up with several other Avengers at Nathan’s Hot Dogs and watched with amazement as both Steve and Bucky easily downed half a dozen hotdogs each plus several beers. Apparently, alcohol had little to no effect on them because of their metabolism. Then Bucky asked Steve if he wanted to go on the Cyclone and I thought that Captain America would fall off the seat laughing. They shared a story from their childhood of Steve throwing up while on the famous rollercoaster because he had too many hot dogs. The obvious affection the pair shared with each other was quite heartwarming to witness and I found myself making eye contact with Ivy often as it reminded us of our own relationship. I didn’t think the date alone with Bucky could be topped but this one was a lot of fun.

At 10:30 Bucky felt his phone vibrate and he gave Steve a look. With some regret they said their goodbyes to the others, and we walked out to the parking lot. By the time the fireworks started we were far enough away that we couldn’t hear or see them. As we drove the two men looked at each other via the rear-view mirror and Steve smiled.

“What do you think?” he asked. “Should we take a little trip down memory lane even though it’s changed a lot since 1943?”

Bucky nodded and held my hand as Steve drove through Brooklyn. We stopped the car a few times as they found a place that was still standing from the 1940s and told us a little story about it. Then just after midnight Steve stopped at an alleyway and turned off the car. He looked into the dark space then back at Bucky.

“It still looks the same, even in the dark,” he said, then turned to Ivy. “You’ll be safe with us, but I want to find something.”

“It won’t be there,” said Bucky. “Not after all this time.”

Steve shrugged and opened the driver’s door. He opened Ivy’s door and took her by the hand, walking into the dark alleyway. I looked at Bucky ominously.

“It’s safe, really,” he said. “I know what he’s looking for. Come on. You can put the flashlight of your phone on. The punk is probably trying to find it in the dark.”

He got out and came around to help me out the car. Fishing my phone out of my purse I turned the flashlight on then he took me by the hand, and we entered the dark space. Immediately I caught Steve and Ivy kissing, and Bucky laughed out loud. Sheepishly, Steve pulled away from Ivy then offered his hand to her. We kept walking down the dark pathway until we came to a dead end. Aiming my phone’s flashlight at the walls Steve told me to keep going up then he saw it, a glint of something metallic like a chain hanging over the edge. I couldn’t really tell what object the chain was attached to but they both knew.

“I’ll be damned,” whispered Bucky. “It’s still there. You going to get it, or am I?”

Without answering Steve stepped back a couple of spaces then leaped up to the ledge, grasping whatever it was up there and dropping back lightly on his feet. It was an impressive leap, and I know that Ivy and I were definitely intrigued. Steve opened his hand revealing a locket, covered in dirt. Using his thumb, he rubbed off what dirt he could then he gently opened it. A single tear ran down his cheek as he saw the pictures inside were still there. Bucky looked and placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“All these years,” he said gently. He swallowed then looked at me. “This was his Ma’s locket. The hospital gave it to him on the day she died. As he was walking home a bunch of guys who had bullied him before chased him into this alleyway. He knew they would take it so he threw it as high as he could to keep it away from them. They beat him up and stole his wallet. I was working so I wasn’t there for him, but we tried to find a way to get to it later, coming up short every time. Eventually, we gave up, but we hoped that it would be safe there.”

“That’s incredible,” said Ivy, looking at the small pictures of his mother and father. “She’s beautiful and is that your dad?” Steve nodded. “He was a handsome man. I can see where you get your looks from.”

“I didn’t always look like this,” he smiled. “I was pretty scrawny then but thank you. I’m … I’m just happy I found it again and I only found it because I was out on a date with you.” She put her hand on his shoulder, beaming at him. With a cleansing breath he closed the locket and placed it in his pocket. “Let’s get out of here and go for a drink or something. I know I could use one.”

We found a nice quiet little bar and stayed there for a couple of more hours as Steve and Bucky shared stories of growing up in Brooklyn. Ivy and I shared some stories of our childhood and youth as well, proving that some things, like growing up with your best friend, were universal. When the bartender announced last call, we reluctantly left and headed for the car. Steve dropped me off at my place where Bucky looked at me with a question in his eyes. I smiled back, leaving it up to him if he was coming up or not.

“I’ll see you later, Steve,” he said. “Ivy, it was fun.”

We didn’t do anything, other than kiss, but I did fall asleep in his arms and woke up in his arms several hours later. A text from Steve to Bucky said that he and Ivy were going out to a familiar diner for breakfast, so we cleaned up and waited for them to come get us. It was the longest second date I ever had but was also now officially the best date ever. Even better, I think I was falling in love.

If you liked this one shot please like, comment, and reblog.

[swampgallows]

.

i wish i had a more definitive diagnosis for whats wrong with me. the worst of my symptoms don't seem to easily fit into any standard criteria. like, i have intrusive thoughts, thoughts that are so intrusive that they make me stop what im doing, or i end up talking myself out of something i was going to do because the thought is so painful/disturbing/foreboding etc. it happens a lot when im at my turntables, maybe because all of my senses are dormant except for sound, and im concentrating so hard on listening, or something. it's like my guard is down so my mind has a chance to storm through with upsetting thoughts or flashbacks or completely fabricated scenarios.

it's why i could never meditate. i used to describe it to a therapist as my mind being like a tall building, and my consciousness was on the ground floor, and the penthouse was full of these demons trapped at the top, and if i tried to empty my mind all of the guards would be absent, and then the demons would see that the way was clear and start stampeding down all the flights of stairs toward the exit/lobby. and i would be sitting there trying to meditate and clear my mind and could envision this dark cloud approaching closer and closer like i was being fucking hunted.

i read somewhere else that meditation doesn't really work for people with ptsd, or it at least has a shitload of prerequisites before someone can get to a point where they can effectively meditate. nobody (therapists included) ever told me that, like that i had to start out with bite-sized portions of meditation (like literally one minute at a time), for my environment to be comfortable and without any distractions, shit like that. they'd just say "oh go on youtube" and link me some 30 minute "meditation for beginners" shit. which imo is comparable to telling someone "just work out" when what they actually need is physical therapy. instead i would try meditating and have a panic attack, like someone with an injury throwing their back out trying to do basic exercises. then they'd say some stupid shit like "ohhh well thats why it's sooo important that you keep trying to meditate, let those thoughts come to you so that you can process them :)", essentially encouraging me to trigger flashbacks instead of having a discussion about why i might feel unsafe or why a method like meditation might invoke this kind of reaction. you dont tell someone with a broken arm to "just keep trying" to throw a baseball then go "no pain no gain!!1" when it hurts them to do it. you go, hey, actually, it shouldn't hurt to throw a baseball, let's check that out. like meditation is meant to be calming, it's not a fucking ayahuasca trip. if meditation is making me have actual panic attacks instead of calming me down, something is wrong.

i dunno im mad now lmfao. i have an appointment w a therapist FINALLY coming up in a few weeks and im really not looking forward to it. i think im gonna end up with another milquetoast "this woman streamed yoga from her bedroom during lockdown and look how many followers she has!!! she changed the world" bitch again

anyway i dont know why i get so many intrusive thoughts while trying to practice mixing but it bums me out fucking hard and sucks all the fun out of it. i have so many records and ive had my turntables so long and i can still barely mix properly because i only know how to mix in my headphones and 9 times out of 10 my mind likes to terrorize me

[neon-moon-beam]

dni if you use this trendy term

Seriously, dni if you use the worl "d*lulu" in any way, shape or form. It's ableist shit setting back mental health acceptance by at least 20* years. No, you're not delusional for having a crush on someone who won't ever like you back or for having a celeb crush (celeb crushes are normal for people who experience crushes!), and no, it's not cute or quirky to claim you're delusional when you don't experience the medical definition of having one.

People who actually experience delusions are often thrown under the bus time and again by the mental healthcare system, and even by mental health advocates. Delusions are also not fun for those experiencing them to say the least.

*I was there 20 years ago when wearing t-shirts about "hearing voices and they don't like you" and "I don't suffer from schizophrenia, I enjoy every minute of it" was trendy, as well as back when popular culture thought DID and schizophrenia were the same thing. I grew up watching mental healthcare go from being shameful and something to hide to seeing some actual progress, only to watch it all get flushed down the toilet by literal children who think bedrotting is desirable and want to make "delusional" have a completely different meaning from what it medically does, and treat it like a quirk. Not too different from how "trigger" was stolen from the people who needed it to describe their experiences with PTSD, panic attacks, OCD, etc.

Don't be the person who sets mental healthcare, acceptance, and understanding back. Stop using the word, repurpose your d*lulu t-shirt into a cleaning rag or something, get off the apps that enable and support this mentality, and educate yourself.

And if you want to continue using this term like it doesn't matter, then don't interact with me. I don't want be around or interact with people who actively undo what I and others fought and are still fighting for.

[hello-nichya-here]

What are your thoughts on MJ's daughter supporting Israel and trying to distance herself from her dad? Girl won't even defend him

Jesus fucking Christ, are you guys coordinating these asks? This is the third time one of you asked me it, I'm legit impressed.

Let's get the easy, and horrible part out of the way first: nobody on the fucking planet has any excuse to support Israel. You can hate Hamas and the goverments of countries like Iran without excusing the literal genocide of civilians in Palestine, because yes, that's what Israel is doing right now.

Paris Jackson (and everyone else, famous or not, that is still pretending Israel isn't commiting all kinds of crimes against humanity right now) should have known better and needs to get her shit together.

Now, onto the messy part:

Although Paris has recently said "it's not her role/place" to defend her dad, lets not forget the other things she said on that same controversial statement:

1 - She fully believes her father is innocent and called the "documentary" Leaving Neverland pure lies.

2 - She believes that everything that could be said about her father's innocence has been said already and she'd have nothing new to add to the conversation.

3 - Her cousin Taj has become basically the leader of the family's campain to clear Michael's name and has been doing an amazing job.

4 - She's not as patient as her father was to deal with that kind of stuff and she has been focusing more on trying to recover from her mental health issues.

That last one is important, specially when we remember that Paris has claimed to have been sexually abused in school (which left her with PTSD), and that she has struggled with addiction, paranoia and a freaking suicide attempt.

It would not be surprising to me if having to listen to allegations of childhood sexual abuse is extremelly triggering for her - especially since the person being accused of being the abuser is her late father, who was murdered by his doctor when she was just 10-years-old, and she was treated like a stupid child in denial everytime she tried to point out the things being said about him were not true.

Considering she has continued to praise her father over the years, both with small things like posting a family picture on Father's day this year and big things like saying he was a super accepting man that was totally cool with her not being straight, and DID defend him publically every now and then, like, once again, calling "Leaving Neverland" pure lies when it came out, I'd say she's not really trying to distance herself from her dad or imply she's starting to think he might have been guilty. I think she just genuinely cannot fucking stand having to act as his lawyer only to have every word she says ignored, no matter how much evidence she offers to back it up.

(And before anyone brings up the fact that Taj was also a victim of sexual abuse in his childhood and has is still speaking out in support of his uncle, including of how he helped him deal with his trauma, keep in mind that people cope differently and heal at different paces).

Do I think she could have phrased some things better? Yes.

If either of my parents were accused of something horrible and a bunch of people kept insisting they were guilty despite all evidence poiting to the contrary, would I interact with said celebrities? No, and it is extremelly disappointing whenever Paris does that...

... But then again, Michael was at war with his record label, Sony, for years and was convinced they were not only sabotaging his career but also trying to murder him, yet he still was ready to go on a final tour that was going to make them A LOT of money. Like father, like daughter.

Honestly, I would not blame the entire Jackson family if they just made one last big documentary to try and clear Michael's name, then, regardless of how it was taken, packed all their shit and moved to a remote island, far away from the spotlight and never spoke to any journalist or had any social media presence again. They've been getting screwed over and surrounded by awful people in the industry, the media, and amongst other celebrities since the goddamn sixties, it's a miracle anyone of them is still trying to "play the game" or explain themselves.

[aquariclily]

🔞 Minors do not interact! 18+ only, & preferably 20+.

⠀General Roleplay Information!

All my blogs are listed here!

I personally prefer long RP stuff to be discussed through messages or Discord as I value OOC trust & communication. However, I'm good with filling in interest checkers as well.

I accept most inbox submissions, even for non-(Tumblr)roleplayers. But please don't expect for literally all inbox replies to turn into threads (though, you can ask.)

I can't consistently cut posts bc I'm generally on my phone & open Tumblr on the app.

I roleplay on both Tumblr & Discord. Discord RP's are a little more prioritized sometimes because it's more easy for me for short/more casual stuff. I'm open to try out other platforms if convenient.

NOTE: I am highly selective with my canons.

⠀Do Not Interact…

— DNI if your blog contains the following: Pedo/Incest/Bestiality/Anything Too Problematic (think of e.g. uncomfy~immoral/illegal taboo stuff, etc.) I really don't care what tf you're into - I just don't want to SEE these things on my dash. (Plus, I also don't want trouble.)

— OOC garbage behavior such as; Racism/Sexism/T.ERF/S.WERF/G.ender critical/M.AP/Z.oosexual/A.lt-right/Any discrimination or insensitivities to marginalized groups/etc. I will block that shit on sight.

— "Collectors". I block collectors on sight. I have terrible experiences with them. I usually block them on sight (for my mental health.) If you want your OC x Canon ship, you must offer double-up or leave me alone. Find some other blog.

— I'll repeat: No minors. Roleplay is for 18+ only, 20+ is preferred (not mandatory. This is because I'm 30+.) However, minors are free to follow my blog(s) if they are SFW. It's just that I don't want to roleplay with them.

— If I blocked you: Don't fucking block evade me!!

Notes: I block very liberally to curate my Tumblr Experience™ (it usually means that I just don't want to interact so don't take a block too personal) & it would be too laboring to fully elaborate on every small thing that just bothers me. (Along on how a lot of people on this website lack basic reading comprehension… not worth it. 🗿)

If you read this. Please don't worry about me blocking you out of the blue, I usually (kindly) confront people if we're mutuals for a while.

I admit that I suffer from trauma (C-PTSD) so curating my experience is very important. I don't want to list my specific triggers because it can be used against me but it's in the range of taboo/extreme stuff (what's in my DNI.)

⠀RP Do's…

— Just wing it. Don't get intimidated, I like casual RP's on Tumblr too. Don't worry too much about length/detail.

— Try to read the Blog/Muse Info's. Not mandatory, but it would be nice. This post is just the general RP rules (hence, it's posted on my main.)

— Be patient. Acknowledge that there is an actual PERSON behind the screen. I am not an AI. Don't treat me like one. I have my preferences, & prefer to stick in my comfort zone. And sometimes I get busy. Sometimes, I just want to do different things. Sometimes, I'm just too tired, moody, sick, or whatever reason. You can ask what's up when in doubt, though. It's fine. I'm just saying that I have a life, my preferences, and that I need my rest.

— Talk OOC, plot stuff, discuss dynamics between our muses, etc. I may fill in interest checkers but I personally prefer to work through messages. Interest checkers don't really work for me on my canons so I no longer do that. I value good OOC communication. This is how you get things done with me.

— If there is a problem, talk it out. Let's acknowledge that we're human and being humans means that we're flawed and we all can have our bad days; I want to keep my mind open and hear you out.

— Give attention, show some excitement; I gravitate to those who seem most interested & express it. Don't worry about ♥/reblog-spam lol, I don't mind. I like the attention.

— Come up with ideas. Talk about our muses & world-building. You could never ever bother me with genuine interest & passion. Passionate writers are admirable.

— If you struggle with coming up with ideas: Ask! I will not mind if you ask, because that indicates that you're interested! Which is a good thing. I'll gladly brainstorm for you.

— Drop threads & start new ones if you lost muse. It's fine.

— Take a break if you need it! ♥

⠀RP Don'ts…

And I can't stress it enough.

— Don't be weird. Respect my boundaries. I am very tired.

— Don't sexualize/romance the muses that are minors or child-coded.

— Don't godmod. Don't try to control my muse without my consent.

— Don't expect me to ship something if we haven't discussed it. Also don't be a jerk if I say "No". I'm still selective. Don't demand me to do double up for ships if I don't see you demand it to others & don't see it in your BYI/RP Rules. (It's unfair to put a double standard to me.)

— Don't disrespect my wishes and preferences in roleplays. I am not an AI that is willing to write literally everything. Don't get mad if my muse isn't going to act the way you want them to. Don't guilt trip me for retiring muses: My muse for things isn't going to stay the same forever.

— Don't pressure me to write things I'm not (or no longer) interested in. When in doubt, just ask. If you don't ask; I guess you'll just stay in doubt then! Sorry.

— Don't make OOC vagueposts & stuff like that. It makes me nervous and worry if it's about me. I also will raise a brow at you if you give OOC drama more attention than roleplay, this can result into me confronting you or even unfollowing you if we're not close enough. Outside that: I actually DO support callouts of genuinely shitty & problematic people with actual/proper evidence! I'd rather not want to end up interacting with e.g. someone who's predatory or weird around minors.

— Don't be afraid to message me!! I'd love to talk.

Discord…

— Feel free to message me for my Discord if interested. Be sure to have some clear information about yourself somewhere before I add you!

— My status often says that I'm "offline". I want to reply at my own pace.

— Even on Discord, I take my breaks.

⠀⠀♡ this post to confirm that you've read the "General Roleplay Information"!

— Message me if there are any questions! Don't be shy if you don't understand some things.

[basuralindo]

Chapter 10 of You'll Have Me Rise, You'll Have Me Fall is up!!

You can read it right here:

And there's some commentary in the notes but I have so many more thoughts and am gonna go on about them under the cut. Please read the chapter before looking through my commentary, but you're all welcome to interact about it on here

Okay, so, in roughly chronological order:

-Idk if the Jamil and Kalim stuff is coming off shippy, but that's not the intention. What I'm tryna present is the fact that they have no concept of boundaries with each other. Jamil was basically instructed, as a child, to look after this whole ass other child with way too little actual adult supervision, and it didn't go well.

-Jamil has a Very loose understanding of free will as is, considering his situation, and Snake Whisper has always been kinda just another tool used to desperately try to get through situations. The idea that forcing someone to not have nightmares without their knowledge or consent might be fucked up doesn't really cross his mind, because he's been doing it since they were little and Kalim always seems happier than when he's left to just deal with his own bad dreams.

-People tend to get stuck with the aftereffects of an intense trigger for quite a while after, and Jamil's behavior is definitely gonna be influenced more heavily by ptsd in the next few chapters.

-Yes, Jamil really is out here basically poledancing on that broom. Why? Because athletes are literally the least self aware people when it comes to doing weird shit with their bodies and I know this from so much personal experience. I also imagine that the brooms operate a lot based on the rider's clarity of intention. So Jamil being already very comfortable with heights because of playing on the carpet with Kalim as kids, and having pretty good focus with multitasking in general, he has very little issues with getting the broom to do what he wants. Meanwhile, Azul would be able to fly just fine, but he's so scared of heights he loses all sense of intention once he gets a couple feet off the ground

-✨Guess who never learnt what dyslexia is because royalty aren't supposed to have learning disorders!✨ Just wait till those two find out about adhd. (Also, major headcanon that Kalim self medicates with caffeine)

-Anyway THE TEXTING!! This is the part that I had no plans to write until going "wait, they should exchange numbers because duh" Then wrote the actual scene and went "wait omfg the teins would totally find that!" Anyway I'm glad I did because it was a lot of fun to write and finally breaks the ice between them all a little more. It ended up taking a lot longer than I'd expected to depict the sheer chaos of texting three people in the same room at the same time.

-I actually thought a lot about the texting patterns on this. Floyd writes in a hurry because his thoughts come and go so fast he just spits them out as they come, which results in spamming with a million short messages when he's actually in the mood to talk. He also canonly has this tendency to just say shit that makes sense in his head, where he has context, and doesn't get it when other people don't understand, so with texting that kinda comes out as not bothering with much punctuation to indicate tone because he knows what tone he's using and forgets that nobody else does. Azul on the other hand is suuuper neurotic about how he presents himself, and texting is no exception. Perfect diction, punctuation, etc. Uses autocorrect and then doublechecks the outocorrect. Jade figures Azul already put all the effort into establishing how to present himself flawlessly, and just imitates his style. (They're both wrong. Azul comes off like a car salesman, and Jade comes off like an alien impersonating a car salesman). I have a reason for this dynamic and I'm gonna go into it eventually in the fic. Jamil is just trying to spell things correctly and uses punctuation as normally as he can. He uses contractions and slangs even less over text because he's not confident in being able to spell less familiar words and doesn't wanna risk it. (He also uses contractions less in general around Azul because, while he tries to come off like he's mastered English around all his potentially hostile peers, Azul never mocks him for his speech so he's more comfortable about wording things awkwardly. Jamil hasn't noticed this consciously yet.)

-Jadeeeeee. This fic is slow burn in general, but it's definitely burning at different speeds for each of them, and Jamil/Jade is definitely the slowest. Neither of them are the kind to openly pursue someone without the other party initiating A Lot, and they're much more emotionally distant than Floyd or Azul. Also, Jade is territorial and Jamil is paranoid and it's gonna take a long time before they get anywhere near trusting each other. Despite that, they're finally starting to notice that they have some shit in common and actually enjoy talking to each other in all the convoluted mincy bullshit ways that nobody else wants to engage in.

-Yes, Jamil feels the need to conceal laughter and smiles even when he's alone in his room. No, he's not okay, but that's kind of the whole plot.

-Again, I just really enjoyed getting to write Jamil having a nice time?? Finally starting to think about the fact that he actually WANTS these guys in his life, for non-strategic purposes, just because they make him happier! I'm finally getting somewhere in this mess of my own making lmao

Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk. I have a lot of feelings about these guys and I'm tempted to do more posts like this about previous chapters just so I can get myself to babble less in the fic notes

[notquiteaghost]

ive said this before but it always makes me so so so insane (ha) that we've structured the framework of psychology in such a way that people can either Have Problems (this may or may not involve admitting those problems have a cause but does at least generally involve admitting those problems can be fixed) or Be Disordered (this almost definitely doesn't involve admitting there's a cause or acknowledging people are capable of change) and both things are tied inescapably to privilege

so you get shit like. when i don't have enough feelings or enough connections with other people or a baseline of empathy for others, that's A Disorder. there is Something Wrong With Me. because i am just a little cog in the machine and i need to be a good cog. (never mind how those things are in fact only A Disorder if they impact my ability to be a good cog and if i can in fact be a good cog while being horribly ill am i really ill)

but when, say, the CEO of an energy company doesn't have meaningful connections with others or any empathy or feelings not linked to money and the earning of it, that's fine. that's normal. there's nothing wrong there. that CEO can do his job and that's what matters.

and how we invented the concept of PTSD because the soldiers we sent to do a kind of horrible violence to other soldiers that we'd literally only just invented were all deeply negatively affected by that violence. because the problem had to be with the soldiers, because the violence was necessary. we have to keep making the numbers go up, and that includes all the numbers related to violence. if you shoot someone and then have nightmares about it that's a disorder but if you order someone else to shoot someone and don't have nightmares about it that's fine.

to be clear i'm not saying anything new here i am just always on a hair trigger to go on a rant about this because how could i not be

like. how psychology tries to pretend it's an objective science when 99% of it is just new and exciting ways to label some people as expendable. the entire fucking concept of a psychopath is a convenient way to avoid acknowledging that people do things for a reason and that reason is never just Something Is Wrong With Me. the way we've decided to complicitly agree with the idea of Person Who Is Bad At Being Person and so you can't call people who wake up every day and choose to do terrible things 'psychopaths' because a 'psychopath' is someone who does that involuntarily. as if there's a person alive who isn't an accumulation of learned responses based on their previous experiences. as if where it's useful to split hairs here is why someone enacts violence onto others and not, y'know, the violence.

i'm sick of it i'm sick of all of it. i want to invent a new disorder just for people who have been afforded so much privilege they never had to learn empathy. i want the treatment to be being forcibly stripped of all remaining privilege because it is exacerbating their condition it is making them ill. you can have your money back when you won't destroy anyone or anything to make even more of it.

[j0kers-light]

Chapter 21 review

Chile why you not giving us more details on readers pass😩🙄 got me all excited to finally hear what happened to her and just to get cliffhangered😭😭

I’m surprised joker ain’t stab Morgana when he seen her😂 reader really is changing joker for the better without her knowing

I feel like Florence is dead even though there’s another side of me saying she is. But it just doesn’t make sense to kill Florence and let Morgana live since they know about him🧐 I at first thought since joker told neo to handle Florence that Neo would just kidnap and hide her but then in the chapter joker said he had to handle the whole Florence situation so I’m guessing he killed her. (By the way I don’t really care if she’s dead or alive in my opinion🤷🏽‍♀️ after how she treated reader I give less fucks about her🙄🤣)

I know you said there was going to be a new person in the story which I didn’t think it was the nurse Sarai I thought it would be a a certain clown girl🤡 herself from jokers past🫣🤔

Look I’m really REALLY trying to like Bruce in this story but he makes it SO difficult 😤 but reader LITERALLY said she didn’t see him that way and she was with some other dude and he ain’t taking the hint🤦🏽‍♀️

MY THEORY: I think for the next chapter Florence is dead which will affect joker and readers relationship to downfall. She gets mad at him curse him out blah blah blah and she says she don’t want to deal with him anymore which makes him sad and turn himself into the GCPD police since he feels like he don’t want to cause anymore heartache and problems for her and can’t move on in life without his light✨😩

I ain’t gonna like I would like both their exes to come at some point to fuck some shit up. Whoever the guy was to fuck yo the readers mental so bad I hope joker give him a slow death where the reader participates in killing him😈 Harley Quinn is literally my favorite villain or all time and if she is going to be in the story if she goes against reader it is going to be heartbreaking 💔 🥲

That’s all just wanted to share my thoughts ✌🏽🫶🏽

Hey hi anon!!

I love love love love your thoughts!! You are close but not quite on the money 🤭

This story is far from being over beloved!

I like cliffhangers lol but there’s a reason why I’m dragging Y/n’s past out. It will be confirmed next chapter but resolved much later.

Joker is learning patience and how to better understand other people’s emotions from Y/n! Joker was ready to snatch Morgana up but he stopped himself. He listened to what she had to say and he definitely can’t kill her now since his Light warned him not to. She said, “You hurt my friends..” plural. Joker in trouble.

Now onto the Flo/Morgana situation. Morgana is smart. She’s keeping her mouth shut and proving her worth as a friend to stay in good with J. Florence on the other hand is threatening to expose Joker to the authorities on top of yelling at his Bunny AND she made you cry which is the catalyst for you having your PTSD episode. You were stressed from that interaction and couldn't handle when Bruce accidentally said your trigger. She has a lot more tally marks against her than Morgana does.

I will say this: Florence left your apartment building alive.

Sarai isn’t a new character, she’s a returning role from chapter 7 🤭 So the new character is still at large.

And yes, Harley Quinn will make an appearance in His Lighthouse. I love her too much not to include her.

I love Bruce and in any other story I'd root for him BUT! I needed a male anti character and......... *stares at Bruce* you're up babe.

Now this next chapter theory of yours 🤭 I love you but

Joker does surrender to the GCPD but its not time for depressed J yet. Him and Y/n are still going strong. Two more hurdles gotta happen for Joker to feel like he’s backed into the corner and forced to surrender.

The theory on exes. Oh boy. Y/n's ex has a big role here.. and he's not done. 👀

[phantom-of-the-memes]

not that anon but "people don’t think allied troops were monsters for killing nazi soldiers or even nazi supporting civilians" yeah actually people do think that, people DO think that it was bad, history is not a black and white morality marvel movie where there are only goodies and baddies and people DO criticise many of the allies' actions, maybe you just hang out with dumb as fuck people? i can't believe you are literally DEFENDING civilian deaths and kidnappings, rapes and public humiliations of women by saying "well it's ok huh because israel = bad" LMAO you are literally so stupid and evil you make me want to throw up i want to alog you but i'm trying not to trigger my ptsd

Yeah of course the allied troops weren’t perfect and did some shit that wasn’t ok. Some were anti-Semitic themselves. But my point was in general people view them as taking necessary action.

Once again, in an ideal world fascist would stop slaughtering people if you asked nicely, but that’s not the case!

Do you think the allied troops and the people of the countries invaded by the nazis were in the wrong for fighting back and defending themselves?

For the millionth time, I am not defending these things, I am just saying that that’s what Israel has been doing to Palestinians for decades. Why do you only care now that it’s happening to Israelis?

Also the Israeli propaganda is so potent. Even in the west, the only news stories I’m seeing are from the Israeli perspective, calling Palestinians (Muslims!) terrorists and saying they’re fighting for no good reason and attacking poor innocent Israel. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to believe what some rando on tumblr is saying is happening.