#literally so sickening and obvious to everyone BUT them

[the-blossica-fan]

Speaking of personality swaps,

Jessica and Blonney would be PEAK (even though to me they are already perfect). A blonde ray of sunshine who positively lights up with enthusiasm when talking about horror movies that can only be matched when she's in the company of her (extremely obvious) crush. And a shape-shifter who generally dislikes people as a concept (and is a bit rough around the edges) but strives to blend in nonetheless because it allows her to stay near her (extremely obvious) crush.

Neither of them are aware that their feelings are mutual because Blonney says she's loves Jessica as often as she breathes, and Jessica only says "I love you" when Blonney is distracted or dozing off.

Blonney: "You can see the amount of care that went into the set design of the house and the choice to make the blood splatter against the family photos is actually foreshadowing that the killer is-(insert several hours worth of rambling here)!" 😄

Jessica: "You sure know a lot about this kinda stuff....." (I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you) 😐

Blonney: "Of course! I love horror movies, but not as much as I love talking to you~!" 🥰

Jessica: (Not nearly as much as i love you) "... uh-huh, now what were you saying about the director?" 😒

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS YOU'RE SO GODDAMN RIGHT.

I also think they're so perfect already, but this is a whole new dynamic that's very lovely. How do they manage to pin for one another under these conditions, fucking idiots (I love them)

It's rare to see Blonney smile genuinely on a normal day, she's usually a very rough and mean person, most of the time it's not exactly on purpose, it's just a part of her. So, to see her walk in with a bright smile, lights shining in her eyes and a slightly dense personality (as opposed to her self deprecating denial), people were obviously taken aback

Blonney would say things that wouldn't match the context of the conversation, but it's not as important, she's so passionate and happy to talk about her interests and it's quite lovely to see some genuine freedom taking over her.

It's easy to see her around her lovely best friend, who's not so lovely at this time.

Jessica used to light up the room with her innocence and happiness, but now she's quite mean and rough. It doesn't seem kike she's unaware, but also doesn't seem like it's entirely on purpose.

"Could you get lost already? Hearing you chatter off my ears is such a bother. Don't you know my senses are more sensitive than normal?" With such disdain, oftentimes accompanied by a roll of her eyes.

And, to nobody's surprise, she and Blonney are always together, though it's Blonney the one who always has her arms around Jessica while the changeling only sighs and "endures" it.

"I've been writing this new story, it's about a crew in a ship! Do you wanna hear it? I made it last night, and uh" plays with her hair "I thought you'd love to see it!"

"Mmm, let me see. You're always finding time to do weird stuff"

"Well, you love to see them anyway, don't you?"

They accidentally flirt with one another a lot. Blonney is the more touchy one, always having an arm around Jessica or holding her hand whenever she's allowed to. On the other hand, Jessica is occasionally doing physical touch.

She would lay her head on Blonney's shoulder whenever the cheerful blonde wants to read her a story, she would run her hand through her hair when she's sleeping, or if she's feeling more daring and flirty; playing with her hair as they talk.

Blonney unfortunately doesn't have that tough exterior anymore, so you can picture her stuttering, having to take a couple deep breaths and blushing whenever Jessica does any of these things.

And somehow they're still oblivious. Not even WINDSONG 😭

"I love to tell you the stories I wrote, you don't judge me or anything, and you listen to them attentively! I really love that about you."

"It's nothing, you're too annoying so it's best to let you do your thing."

"Liar, I know you love them too! You're not even complaining when I'm telling them!" "...?"

"Mm, I love you too..."

"...!" "Oh, sorry, I got distracted! What did you say?"

"That you're really annoying."

"That's not what I heard at all!!"

[miupow]

hiii! how do you think txt would be like if their partner were a kpop idol aswell? and would they like their partner being an idol? 🫶🫶

-⭐️

♯ AND IF WE PUT THIS TO BED // THE INTERNET WILL GO CRAZY .ᐟ ★ ꒰ txt꒱

✦ ── AKA ; TXT WITH AN IDOL GF !

╭♡ pairing 〃ot5 x fem!reader .ᐟ genre 〃fluff, slight angst . idol!reader warnings ◠ ﹐〃secret relationships , hate/harassment mention , food/eating mention .

♡ ⸝⸝ ꒰ m.list ꒱ ‧ ꒰ reblogs and feedback appreciated! ꒱

𝕾OOBIN ★

would be so nervous about everyone finding out that would totally give it away. just an absolute nervous wreck whenever you’re anywhere near him !

even just hearing your name makes his ears go pink ! stuttering through whatever he was going to say while trying to play it off totally cool

he gets better at hiding it because he just starts avoiding you lol you don’t really mind it all that much because soobin is just so sweet !

literally the best stage boyfriend ever ! always gushing about your performances n hyping you up !! went to one of your concerts once and got totally found out lol

loves physical affection and hates that he can never show any to you in public :( hands always twitching to hold yours :( makes it up by being all up in your personal space when you’re alone tho!!

you’re the one who takes all of those boyfriend photos he posts on instagram! and he is the one who takes all of the pictures you post on yours <3

thousands of youtube compilations of soobin acting all shy around you, eyeing you up, getting blushy !! he is really so obvious it’s so endearing. basically everyone already knew you were together before you were together iykwim

will do absolutely anything he can to keep you from facing any harassment or hate for being with him . always concerned about your safety both off and on tour. always asking if you’ve ate well, if you’re well rested, if you’ve hurt yourself on stage. hes a little bit of a helicopter boyfriend but you kind of love it

always telling you to eat more or rest but never listens to his own advice :( overworks himself half to death but would go scorched earth if you ever burnt yourself out

𝖄EONJUN ★

king of the suspicious matching instagram posts. always stalking the internet to see if anyone makes the connections (they always do and he eats it up) your insta feeds are just date pics but no one needs to know that other than him and you!

always getting cute matching keychains, phone cases, bracelets, anything he can get away with!! it’s like letting everyone know you’re his without him ever saying anything !!

simultaneously the best and the worst at hiding your relationship from the public

the best because he can act cool around you no problem, won’t ever say or do anything out of line. no one would think you even talk all that often with how he keeps things so cool and collected. honestly you’re the one that’s slipping sometimes

the worst because he wants everyone to know so badly even though he knows he can’t!! especially finds it so hard to keep his hands to himself!! he just loves holding you and having you close to him.. he’s obsessed with dropping tiny hints , just enough to get people talking… start some rumors lol

always taking photos he won’t ever post. of you and him together, out on dates or spending time together in his dorm. you all pretty and barefaced snuggled against his chest . he cherishes them but he won’t ever let another soul see them

such powercouple energy once you’re out and open about being together !!! always spotted everywhere together lol now that he doesn’t have to hide you he can show you off! his socials become essentially your fansites

such a whirlwind romance with him always. sweeps you off of your feet and has you doing things you would never do in a million years!! kiss him in this hotel pool, no one’s gonna notice ! but you’re so in love it’s sickening .. and you don’t mind being risky when it’s with him

just so utterly devoted to you <3 you are his everything and he’ll give you his heart and his credit card to prove it lol

𝕭EOMGYU ★

beomgyu’s been pursuing you for years, actually. since you were trainees, even. you finally agreed to be his girlfriend just recently lol

hates that he can’t let the world know that you’re in love :( hates having to hide how obsessed he is with you !!

which makes him terrible at being secretive !! constantly eyeballing you at events, getting all blushy and goofy when you interact on stage or on camera. likes he’s so infatuated with you and it’s like disgusting to look at

would do some risky shit like start a live with you in the hotel room with him off screen ! post suspicious pictures on his instagram. film a dance challenge on tiktok like your company made you do it

he loves the thrill of keeping things hidden, possibly getting caught. seeing how much he can get away with ! he just finds it all so fun !

always texting you throughout the day to make you giggle, no matter how busy the two of you were ! voicenotes of him talking in his sleepy low timbre, late at night or early in the morning, or of him playing the guitar !! facetimes you every night before you go to bed, regardless of what time it was for him ><

when your schedules inevitably get in the way he is always flexible and quick to make it up to you ! he always makes sure to give you all of his attention whenever he can, because maybe you’re a bit of a spoiled princess (he made you that way)

someone else seeing him kissing you out in public is what ultimately does him in lol he just can’t keep his hands off of you !!

doesn’t really care about what anyone else says or thinks about the two of you being together !! true moas would support you and he just loves being able to show you off !!!

𝕿AEHYUN ★

would be very serious about keeping your relationship a secret. he’s seen horrible things happen to other idols who have had their relationships revealed and he doesn’t want anything like that to happen to you— or him and his bandmates.

absolutely the best at hiding in public. even standing near eachother on a music show no one would know a thing.

though he gets kind of quiet when you’re mentioned or when you’re around. almost like he gets shy hehe

i can see him falling for an older and more experienced idol, always talking to you so formally and respectfully, always call you noona :3

a sweet and passionate lover when away from prying eyes <3 does absolutely everything he can to set aside time to be with you, date you out on secretive little dates ^^

calls you twice a day every day while you’re both away on tour, even packed with your busy schedules. gets mopey if you don’t tell him you love him before you hang up :(

likes getting you jewelry or accessories you can wear in videos and on stage ! nothing too obvious, little necklaces and bracelets, rings he can see when you wave your hands <3 it makes him feel like he’s showing you off without showing you off iykwim

he would want to admit it if there were any suspicions or if you were found out. half because he didn’t want to lie to moa and half because finally letting the world know you were his doesn’t sound all that bad ><

but if he wasn’t ever found out he would have kept it a secret for a long, long time, until he was sure it was the best possible time to open up. he’ll make sure he’ll make it up to you for all of those years though,,,

𝕳UENING 𝕶AI ★

also incredibly serious about keeping the relationship a secret. he just wants to be safe, especially when you were both at the height of your careers…

which is funny because he’s the absolute WORST at hiding his feelings for you!! cannot act right when he’s anywhere around you and trying to keep that professional idol persona..

doesn’t like going out where others could potentially see you together, prefers to stay inside with you playing video games or watching movies. just resting from your hark work and spending time with you <3 naps with you are his favorite especially

brings the plushie you gifted him early in your relationship everywhere he goes. he can’t sleep without it if you aren’t in your arms yourself !!

let’s you borrow his big sweaters and hoodies, gets all nervous and giggly when he sees you on a live or something wearing his clothes!! will someone notice?? but he can’t help but like it deep down ! you look so cute in his clothes :(

gushes about you to his sisters constantly . they find it cute and annoying at the same time.

loves hearing your voice over the phone or on facetime while you’re away from eachother. squeezes in the chance to call you whenever he possibly can ! the type of bf to fall asleep with you on the phone <3

just so sugar sweet :’( always going on and on about how beautiful and talented and amazing you are.. and he gets all squirmy when you compliment him back !! his kisses are always so gentle and loving— you love sneaking kisses backstage at music shows to see your lipstick leave stains on his mouth!!

would panic and freak out if you and him were ever found out, convinced the absolute worst was going to happen.. but then pleasantly surprised when the worst doesn’t happen. maybe he can make this work..

[greatcheshire]

one more thing I have to say, since you'll hide the obvious goal behind your agenda, I'll say it for you, & I know you most likely won't publish this ask because of your lack of empathy, but if there's a soul in that sorry excuse of a man you are, use it.

Trans "women" aren't women, men cannot be women, what your cult is trying to do is mutilate yourself to the point of unrecognition like some kind of skin walker so you people can invade women & children's safe spaces & friend groups in order to rape & molest them & get off scot free.

That's always been the end goal of the trans agenda BUT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FALLING FOR YOUR MANIPULATION EVERYONE IS STARTING TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO YOUR ACTIONS, EVEN OTHER WOMEN, BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO DELUDE THE WORLD INTO THINKING YOU'RE "WOMEN" YOUR RAPE IS BEING OVERLOOKED BECAUSE REAL WOMEN CANNOT RAPE, THATS THE REASON YOU WANT OUR GENDER, TO. GET. AWAY. WITH. RAPE.

THEY'RE NOT STOPPING THERE EITHER, THEY'RE TRYING TO INDOCTRANTE CHILDREN BY MOLESTING THEM IN SCHOOLS & TEACHING THEM HOW TO MULIATE THEIR FACIAL FEATURES & BODY TOO, THEY'RE LITERALLY RAPING TO RAISE RAPISTS!!!

ITS FUCKING SICKENING. WAKE UP SHEEPLE, ITS NOT UNINTENTIONAL EITHER, THEY'VE BEEN PLANNING ON THIS FOR YEARS & YEARS BECAUSE THEY KNOW WOMENS RIGHTS ARE BEING OVERLOOKED & GETTING WORSE EVERYDAY, THEY KNOW THE GOVERNMENT WON'T CARE FOR OUR ABUSE, BECAUSE THERE'S TRANS PEOPLE IN THE GOVERNMENT!!!

Please, if anyone cares for what's right, spread this message. For the sake of women & children's safety everywhere.

hey sorry to ignore the rest of your essay or call for help or whatever it is but did you just say that women can’t rape because uhhhhhhh

[scremogirl]

HEAR ME OUT PLS!... reader whos fine w casually/non casually/no romantic fucking... this prompt is sickening LITERALLY as long as reader gets birth control/condoms theyre ay-okay with it

(doesnt need 2 be added:D FIND WHAT U THINK SUITS UR WRITING ATM)

example js

reader scrolling on their phone while nerd is rearranging their guts

or

council president railing reader while theyre in a mating press on a chair

or

childhood friend who didnt even have to ask you to take care of their problem since middle school(?)

seems like NONCHALANT!Reader but this reader just doesnt care abt what they want and just cares for their friends...in their own way...Add whatever u like sosa!!!! <3

stawppp it.

(presents an AFAB reader)

Yandere! Nerd has been so pent up lately and never has time to relive his stress. With all the club meetings, preparing for college and the love of his life ignoring him, it's obvious he's got a lot on his plate. Therefore, when he finally has the time to let loose, there's no way he could bother with protection.

"Please, baby? I know how much you like it raw anyways. You're still on the pill right? oh what he hell, it's not like you care that much. You have been a little snippy with him lately so he deserves this much. The only problem with is that you can't be bothered with putting in that much effort. So here you are now laying flat on your stomach while Yandere! Nerd pounds your brains out.

"Ugh fuckkk angel, it feels so gooddd," his heavy breathing and the light blush on your cheeks make you clench around him harder. You make him pull out as you roll yourself over on your back. You grab your phone again as he shoves himself back in you. You angle your camera to where your hips meet, occasionally aiming it at his face. He cums so much that when he pulls out some of it lands in the camera lens.

!Ping!

Angel😇💕💍: 1 attachment

Angel😇💕💍: srry I can't be there tdy. cramps and what not.

enjoy this instead :p

When do you get off your period again?

Sigh. How's he supposed to work like this?

Yandere! Council president rubs his temples and lets out a deep sigh of frustration. The council is having an after school celebration along with some club members because of last weeks fundraiser.

They did well but someone needs to count all of the funds and there's no way he'll trust anyone else do it.

He stands from his chair opening the door, on his way to tell them to keep it down bug to his surprise your on the other side of the door.

"What're you doing here?"

"I go to school here," he sighs at your blunt behavior.

“Yes, I know that. I mean what are you doing at school after hours?" you held up a bag of food and he already knew what you were gonna say before you said it. He opens the door to let you in, relived that at least one thing can cheer him up.

"Besides." you continue

"I'm horny. I was gonna get a quick one out before I went back but then I remembered you were here. I can obviously see your not feeling well and Im in the mood for something rough: take it out on me,"

The chair bangs against the table as you legs are pressed against your head. Who knew you were this flexible? He'll have to keep that in mind for later, right now he's focused on shooting his load as deep as he can. The music outweighs your moans and isn't until you here a loud bang on the door that you stop.

"(Y/N)? You in there? We're about to start truth or dare. Julie's gonna dare Chris to jump ass naked into the school pool. You don't wanna miss it." says a voice from outside the door.

“I’ll - fuck I'll be out in a second. Ate to much, ugh dip y'know; a little full," and with that they leave.

Yandere! CP turns your face towards him with an animalistic sneer.

"The only thing you'll be full of is my cum."

Please take a plan B 🙏🏾

(You guys are seniors here!!!)

Everyone's masturabted before, let's be honest.

Curious minds wanting to feed their growing sexual appetite. So when Yandere! Childhood friend came to you about his little problem, it was your duty as his best friend to help.

"(Y/N) it hurtssss! Just look how red the tip is!" on queue it twitches and pulses under your gaze.

Jeez the guy has no shame does he? He grabs the base, stroking his hard cock under his strong palm. It didn't take you much conniving since you were already on your knees before him.

"Oh shit baby! Gonna let me pump it all down your throat? Ughh, gonna-gonna milk all of it outta me princess I swear,” he says between pants, continuing throat fuck you. His orgasm nears as he grabs the base of your neck and forces you down on him. Spit and cum dribbling down your child and into your chest. He paints your face and swipes his fingers on your face before forcing it back into your mouth. After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees After you all cleaned, you stand to your knees sitting on the couch turning on Lilo and Stitch.

"Make some popcorn for us will ya?"

You literally suck the soul outta him and then ask him to do something other than go another round; he’s gonna do it but damn 😭

[ihaechans]

Reminiscing || Mark Lee

PAIRING ▸ Mark Lee x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ best friends to lovers, big fluff

WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, sweet Mark, Y/n character development is real, literally just sickening fluff...

SUMMARY ▸Time flies. Especially with best friend and nerdy ride or die Mark Lee. Reminiscing on the rooftop leads to foreign emotions and forgotten memories to rise to the surface, and the obvious tension between you two can no longer be avoided.

WORD COUNT▸1.7k

A/N▸��Head empty.... just boyfriend Mark Lee. (Dead serious this has been in my drafts for 8 months.)

ALSOOO this was originally supposed to be smut but I decided to take it out and make it a cute fluffy story because it’s my first fic back 😭

You couldn’t accept that there could be other men out there named Mark Lee. The idea of someone having a completely different look and persona than the one of your best friend completely baffled you.

In your heart, your Mark was the greatest one. The only one you truly needed to keep going in life as well.

You were always one of the castaways at your school. Unknown. Boring. Friendless. It was always something you were used to.

It wasn’t exactly bad though. You actually quite enjoyed having so much time to focus on your studies since you were never invited to parties or friendly hangouts, but there was always this feeling. A feeling of loneliness and despair.

In complete solitude, you would study from dusk til dawn. Barely even glancing away from your computer screen throughout the day. The only time you would bother to check your phone was to see if your mom had texted you, which you admitted, was kind of humiliating.

No one ever would have thought an accidental text to the wrong number would start the strange friendship between you and Mark Lee, one of the more popular members of one of the biggest frats on campus.

Unknown Number:  Yo Jaeminnnn! Just got your new number man :) It’s mark btw

You: This isn’t Jaemin. Wrong number “Mark”.

Unknown Number: My bad. Why is my name in quotes though? I promise I’m the real Mark dude :(

You: You can be some weirdo trying to get my phone information by pretending to be one of my classmates. Who knows if you’re really Mark?

Unknown Number: I do… because I am the real Mark 🤦‍♂️ who is this anyway so I can save your number?

You: It’s y/n. You shouldn’t need to save my contact anyways. We won’t ever text again after this.

Mark: I like to be friendly with everyone just in case. Maybe you should try it instead of accusing me of being a criminal when you don’t even know me 😁

You: Goodbye Mark. You’re wasting my precious study time and you’re kind of annoying :)

You couldn’t imagine how any of your fellow students looked so relaxed and at ease with the endless piles of work. It was completely mind boggling.

Mark and his friends were those sort of people, and you were always jealous of them. How they continued to stay on top of assignments? You would never know.

“You were such an asshole when we first met.” His presence catches you off guard, but you can recognize that chuckle from anywhere. Silently turning your body to face him, you smile, dismissing his brutally honest comment.

“Well. I never knew having friends could be so…”

He finished your thought for you, “Life changing? Exciting? Eye opening?”

“Mhm.” You hum, mindlessly patting the spot next to you on the balcony, expecting him to plop down in the exact spot any second now.

“I admit, I was a complete bitch for no reason.” You stare at the sunset as you speak, knowing that Mark is simply listening in. “I was jealous of you. You were so effortlessly funny and friendly. Everyone knew and loved you, plus you got exceptionally good grades.”

Honestly, you don’t know why you were admitting to any of this. It made you feel as if you were a terrible person. Hopefully mark didn’t see you that way.

You sigh, “I wanted to be you. It was so unfair how I practically slaved away all day and night while you and your friends were out partying every other day yet still managing to pass. I wanted that to be me.”

You stare at Mark now, waiting to him to respond to such a presumptuous confession.

He was smiling, a smile full of love and kindness. He huffs out a laugh, you should’ve known he could never hate you. He could never hate anyone, no matter how wrong they could treat him.

“Can I admit something too?” He’s staring straight into your eyes now, a serious look taking over his features. “That day, I didn’t know it was your number, but-“ he clears his throat, bracing himself for the things he was about to admit to.

“I was interested in you before we became friends. You seemed pretty chill, but I never approached you since you always seemed like you wanted nothing to do with the human species. You were also really pretty…”

You ignore the butterflies that erupt in your stomach, and hopefully Mark couldn’t see the slight blush that appeared on your face.

He lays down onto his back, laughing with his arms behind his head for support. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t give up on you?” He teases, poking you in the side with his elbow gently.

You smile and hit him on the shoulder playfully, rolling over onto your side to look at him. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t block you as soon as you texted me?”

He laughs even harder now, admitting that he found it funny how you seemed so intimidating over text but in person you were completely different.

“You wouldn’t even remember me if I hadn’t kept texting though,” he responds, ending the sentence with another chuckle.

“Wish I blocked you sooner so I didn’t start warming up to your annoying ass.” You speak with a serious expression, but one glance at Mark is all it takes for a laugh to force its way out, his own laughter causing you to giggle even harder.

“God, I love you Y/n. Seriously. You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.”

There it is. “Best friend”. All hope for you was over. You’ve officially been friend-zoned.

You ponder for a moment, thinking about all that he’s done for you and considering how easily things could’ve been different if you weren’t such a jealous bitch in the beginning.

Your friendship could’ve been so much stronger by now if you had accepted his kindness from the start, and you mentally scold yourself for it.

“Say it back.” He orders, perking up from his relaxed position and scooting closer to your body in between every passing second. “Say it back before it’s too late.”

“Why should I? Admitting I wanted to be you is already embarrassing enough. My embarrassment level is already full for today, tell me again tomorrow and maybe I’ll answer.”

“Alright then,” he tsks, “Guess I’ll just have to tickle you until you admit you love me back.”

Your eyes widen in genuine terror. You absolutely hated getting tickled and promised you would personally file a complaint to the police if Mark ever even thought about tickling you.

“Mark. Stop.”

“Say it back, idiot.”

Hissing through your teeth, you prepare for the worst. You’d rather just tell him you love him back than endure his attacks of merciless tickles and teasing.

Conceding defeat, you blink at him and fight the embarrassing grin that wants to appear on your lips. “I love you too Mark.” Hearing yourself say those words out loud almost has you jumping up and down with embarrassment and sending shivers down your spine.

You take a deep breath, trying to stay in control of your emotions.

He smiles, feeling content with your words. You’ve been friends for so long, and now you’ve finally mustered up the courage to tell him how you feel.

Countless times, he’s told you he loves you, but you’ve never said it back until now. You felt like a brand new person.

There’s a comfortable beat of silence before he speaks up, distrusting the moment of pure silence.

“Isn’t the sunset so pretty?” He murmurs, eyes completely focused on something else.

“Mark. You’re not even looking at the sunset,” you laugh, seeming to be completely clueless at what he was hinting at.

He chuckles at your ignorance before taking your hands into his and looking you in the eye. “Y/n. You’re pretty.” Your breath catches in your throat, “I like you. I thought it would be so obvious by now. I’ve been hinting at it for ages but you’re just so clueless it seems like this is the only way you would ever realize.”

He grins sheepishly, wincing as he awaits your reaction.

The only thing you can do is stare at him wide eyed, jaw almost completely on the floor at the sudden confession. “You like me?”

“Mhm.” He mumbles, scooting even closer to you, his eyes gazing straight at your lips.

He moves forward, cupping your face with his hands so he can finally attempt to kiss you.

Mark had no idea why he was feeling so bold in that moment. This situation could either go extremely terrible or surprisingly well.

He stops before his lips touch yours, giving you a second to push him away if you really needed to. You lightly grasp his side and he smiles before connecting your lips together.

It feels like heaven, almost like you two were meant to be. You wonder why you hadn’t done this sooner, and then remember that you were the one being so blinded by friendship that you dismissed his obvious flirting as teasing all this time.

All of Marks emotions embrace him as he backs away, warmth and comfort echoing between the two of you. Mark is a mess, face red and hands jittering uncontrollably and you find it quite amusing.

“I cant believe I actually just did that…” Mark is so overwhelmed as he retreats, barely able to keep his composure as he nearly fumbles with his words.

Your cheeks flush with the realization that you had just kissed Mark. You struggle to keep a grin from forming on your face. “Me neither…” you mumble, bringing a hand up to your lips, still shocked.

Mark smiles at you with adoration, mustering up the courage to finally say what he’s been holding back for the last few years. “Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?”

He looks into your eyes in anticipation, barely able to contain his eagerness as he awaits for an answer.

“Mark, are you seriously asking me that right now?” You laugh, watching as marks smile fades away slightly in confusion. “How could I ever reject you?”

A sweet smile forms on your face, and the look of confusion soon leaves marks features as you kiss him again, making sure he understands that you are in fact, now his girlfriend.

[yippeeometer]

Idk if these are considered rare pairs, but here are some of my fav rare pair ships :D

FlouiSconsin (FL/LA/WI)

FloYork

TexYork

Texas/Wyoming/Montana

*you don't have to answer any of these, please do not feel forced to :D*

gonna answer all of them try that on for size

FLOUISCONSIN:

u just know theyre the ones throwing the new years party and its literally insane. typa guys to craft a massive stone boulder so they can actually say the ball dropped on the new year. typa guys to be researching haunted things on ebay to make halloween parties realistic.

their nights out should be classed as an olympic sport. Yeah you may have won a gold medal for sprinting but 1000% 3 drunk guys being chased by a zoo animal they accidentally let escape are faster than you.

something tells me they'd be the scariest people to sit near. theyre always giggling. always watching. what can they possibly be talking about.

they own like 2 pairs of real shoes between all of them and then just various non matching crocs

since sconsin has to be soooo far from the other two they just constantly have him on facetime. all day. theyre joining in on midwest arguments they know nothing about. theyre tattling to the south as soon as any drama goes down.

FLOYORK:

they serve couple-that-isnt-divorced-but-should-be vibes. theyre SICKENING omg two of the most insane people youve ever met.

we dont play around enough w the true extent of flo's madness he'd probably fill york's room w rats bc he heard that he likes them and york, matching his freak perfectly, would find it romantic. everyone else looks on in horror.

flo turns up at northeast meetings like an in-law at family gatherings to watch the drama. he definitely has a twitter account called 'weird shit my husband's family has fought over'

two strange guys with strange passions for animals. theres a collection of gator-sized sweaters in their closet that york gives flo whenever they argue (frequently)

'youre a snowbird' 'youre a leaf peeper' have you considered youre insufferable.

TEXYORK:

i acc love this ship youre never alone when yippeeometer is at the shipyard

theyre gonna be a slow-burn but in the sense that york's natural way of speaking is in one-word sentences and texas (daddy issues galore) would instantly be freaked out. local northeast man now befuddled how his flirting is not being picked up on.

oh god theyre sooooo awkward around each other. southern hospitality vs 'i can f*cking do it myself' northeast. match made in hell. hate them. no one knows how to communicate but also its sooo not casual when he begged u to come down to his ranch so he could teach u horseback riding. was it casual when he stopped the whole 'more than a city' shtick bc he wanted to show ONLY u around.

abnormal behaviour galore.... daddy issues galore..... typa guys where theres two wolves inside them (must protect him) (ab to get soooo vulnerable around him)

TX/WY/MT

cowboys!

typa guys where their only way of flirting is through the medium of horses. this is my horse shes called angel. yeah she fast. want to ride my horse? no seriously you have to ride my horse. u can even wear my hat when u do it but its totally chill or whatever....

its actually not chill they all compete at rodeos against each other and they WILL make it ur problem when it ruins the relationship.

farmer men..... farmer men..... grrrrrr what a yeild of crops..... just got some cows...... u can see them if u want...... u can stay in my bed.....

montana would have such fun with mr. 'pay attention to me or i die' texas and mr. 'no one look at me or ill kill myself' wy. sat at the table trying to maintain eye contact constantly with one whilst completely ignoring the other to not make the whole relationship obvious (its the most obvious thing in the world.)

[lorillee]

im always thinking about kakashi flashback:2 if im honest. its like seriously sickening to me makes me crazy insane two big things 1) how seriously miserable he is throughout the entire flashback and 2) how guy was the one who dragged him out of that hell and kakashi doesnt even know it. like it makes me so crazy insane. like guy was the only one to keep reaching out to him and he never like pushed it he never made kakashi do anything he didnt want to do but he always extended his hand whenever the opportunity arose. and like its pretty obvious to me that by the end of it asuma and kurenai have would have entirely given up on him if not for guy, and its clearly guy's initiative that gets them to go with him to entreat hiruzen to make kakashi a jonin leader instead of continuing his anbu career. like it makes me crazy insane .

because like i said earlier kakashi is just so potently miserable throughout that entire whole like 12 episode long arc i dont think he smiles like once before passing team 7 like they seriously did save him in such a profound and visible way and it was guy's unconditional love of kakashi no matter how much he was pushed away that allowed any of this to happen. like it makes me sick and ill and twisted because literally almost everybody who kakashi forms some sort of emotional attachment to dies (sakumo, obito, rin, minato, kushina) and he blames himself at least in part for the majority of those. like you can tell hes opening back up a little bit when hes hanging out with guy on the night of kuramas attack but then immediately after minato and kushina die, which theoretically couldve been prevented if he had been able to control kurama with the sharigan instead of being pushed to the sidelines, and he immediately shuts guy out again because if another person he cares about dies if another person he cares about gets killed by him either directly or indirectly he literally wont be able to take it.

he shuts guy out in a desperate attempt to not get attached to get him to stay away from kakashi who gets everyone he touches killed. but guy refuses to abandon him no matter what and you can only imagine how much this terrifies kakashi on such a fundamental level and it makes me sick in the head because after forming team 7 kakashi starts opening up his heart again and forming genuine connections willingly for the first time in so so long and it almost seems like everything will work out and then guy willingly attempts to kill himself in one last attempt to stop madara in front of kakashi who is powerless to stop it to do anything and worse yet through his own logic caused it by killing rin and he just has to sit there as a bystander once again while yet another person he loves dies as a direct result of something he blames himself for and it like . Well can we walk off a cliff? Together?

[wifiwuxians]

If no one beat me to it, can I ask (surprise surprise) for Song Lan, in a thematic bid, please?

absolutely ily

oops he's bigger than Chao well anyways

First impression: "Wow he sounds hot as fuck. Also this is so fucking sad"

Impression now: Everyone who knows me knows I would go to war over this character. He is my favorite guy. He has effectively dethroned Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue, everyone. It's not about who's the best written or most important or whatever (everyone in the Yi City arc is of equal importance and that is a hill I will not die on because I will defeat everyone upon it). It's about who makes me feel the most warm fuzzies. Song Lan does. Tall, dark, handsome, badass, kind, undead, takes no shit, has compassion, and never lets the world knock him down for long. Literally the strongest character in the whole novel by a mile in terms of resilience

Favorite moment: It's gotta be his final words which Seven Seas ruined. After all this time and after everything he's endured, all he cares about is making sure Xiao Xingchen returns to the world knowing he is loved. Like okay. Songxiao they could never make me hate you

Idea for a story: THERE'S TONS but most will probably not become anything at this moment in time, save for perhaps the poor Songxiao adoption AU that's been simmering for like three years now, in which he and Xiao Xingchen are teachers who volunteer at an orphanage and end up taking the small and troubled A-Qing home... They aren't a couple at the beginning but eventually develop their relationship while caring for her (it isn't just about them, though, in truth the story is more about A-Qing and Xue Yang but UH. That's the working title anyway)

Unpopular opinion: I guess what I said before that everyone in the arc is of equal importance? But that's less about just him... I'll be real with you I don't really know people's opinions on him save for "he's hot" "I love him" and the bad takes which don't need repeating. I suppose my unpopular opinion will be me not drawing him as super buff as I could a lot of the time

Favorite relationship: We do not have time to unpack all of this right now but aside from the obvious 'they were made for each other and will always be together in some form' relationship he has with Xiao Xingchen, it's with Xue Yang. Undoubtedly. I do also love his relationship with A-Qing, the fact they knew each other so briefly yet became so intrinsically entangled, but ultimately Song Lan and Xue Yang and that terrible, horrible, sickening bond- but far more than that, the millions of what could have beens- are what have taken over my psyche. I suspect a fair few people are not happy with this fact lol but hey I'm not trying to disappoint anybody! I have a LOT I could say about why but I don't know if anyone even cares dkjljskjgf

Favorite headcanon: The idea that he puts aside his own discomfort and pushes past his phobia in order to help others will always be my favorite and my heart feels warm every time I see it in fic -//v//-

[abuzd]

if I sound angry in this ask it's not directed towards you, but what the actual fuck is up with that U-OZ person? their bio says "my focus is on other survivors and their incredible desire to be seen, heard, understood, to grow and thrive" but I don't get that vibe from them at all in regards to what the post showed. I looked at pages from their book and it's so obvious NONE of that is info for helping survivors to "grow and thrive" or whatever the fuck, it was for helping ABUSERS learn how to do that shit, it's a literal step by step instruction guide on it. I'm just like why would anybody write that book? genuine question. like I know there are sick people out there but why literally make the book available on amazon, I'm just confused and shocked and sickened so maybe my mind isn't wrapping itself around this stuff because it's so nauseating, but even if abuse groups have methods they teach to other groomers, wouldn't those creeps want that stuff stay within the group and not public? I wouldn't think it would be turned into a book and sold online, why be so public about something so fucking disgusting, I just don't get it? is this for someone to try it on their own or some shit even though U-OZ wrote about methods that clearly involve multiple people and that an individual wouldn't be able to carry out on their own? I'm just confused and pissed off and disgusted. it's so weird and just... what the hell even is that? like I'm still trying to understand why they wrote that, all those details and disgusting information for hurting vulnerable kids. and then their blog has a healing tag and posts I would think are genuinely trying to help survivors and share positivity so like... genuinely what is going on with this person? also thank you so much for doing your part and spreading awareness about them, I think I had come across posts by them in the tags when searching stuff like recovery and healing encouragement posts, but had NO idea about any of the other shit.

i genuinely agree with you 100% and can confirm they’ve always been this way. it’s not news. it’s not rumours. it’s fact. soooooooo many people have receipts over YEEEEAAAARRRSSSSS. they’re extremely antisemetic, anti-anything-government-whatsoever. makes up programming methods that aren’t even fucking real because they “connect dots” that aren’t there and then tell you everyone else is a conspiracy theorist and you can’t trust anyone else but them like HELLOOOOOOOOOO?????????

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Just. Block. Oz. they can’t be reasoned with. don’t support them. spread the word not to support the book. if/when it’s released, report it if you know how.

[mythserene]

LEWISOHN: Let's crowdsource this bastard.

Check a footnote.

Whether you heroically tear straight into him like @wingsoverlagos or you find one thing like @delightfullyatomicfest did, it matters! What I hoped for and imagined from the beginning was some sort of crowdsourced work. There is too much for any one person, and one of the biggest problems with Beatles' sources is that they're not all equally easy to get to for everyone. And although this has become personal for me, it is an objectively huge problem for all Beatles fans and scholars that the man who has collectively been called the Beatles historian has—and I cannot say this clearly enough—BEEN JUST MAKING SHIT UP.

He literally ends ‘Tune In’ with a fabricated line that he sources to John Lennon. (!!!)

(Which I might not have realized for ages—if ever—if not for this @wingsoverlagos post)

Lewisohn has no shame.

And while it may seem like we are screaming into the void right now, I will tell you that we are not. I fear jinxing anything so I won't say more now, but our work is not in vain. People are paying attention. How can they help but pay attention? It's too shocking a betrayal. Too great a breach of trust. It has become overwhelming and impossible to ignore, and it has happened so quickly. Just by a few people taking the time to do the work.

And what is obvious now is that if you take a piece of source material that's referenced and go through it you will find butchered and fabricated quotes. And whether you do it that way or just check a footnote that interests you PLEASE TELL ME what you find! 🙏🏻

I am trying to gather all this up in one place. An ammo dump, if you will. If you want credit, tell me how you want to be credited, linked to, and any combination thereof. (I don't like taking credit for things I don't find, anyway.) But either shoot me a message or @ me or all of the above so we can collect all together and it can have the cumulative effect it deserves. (I will respond, but sometimes I am gone for a few days at a time, and occasionally for up to a week. I always come back, though.) #crowdsourcelewisohn

I have also set up an email for collecting funky footnotes: exactwords.lewisohn@gmail.com (At this point I'm only checking this once a week.)

If you look, you almost certainly will find.

If you have any Beatle magazines or Pete Best's book, "Beatle!" you could be a superhero. (One chapter of Best's book is available online, but I haven't been able to find the rest.) Or if you have any less-available source material I am urging you—begging you—to jump in and check some footnotes. With Lewisohn as bold as he is in the easily searchable things just imagine the license he's taking in the rest. But whether hard to find or commonplace, check a source. It adds up and it kind of feels good to uncover some bullshit.

For your edification and motivation I am adding a clip — lightly edited to take out some Lewisohn devolutions (so here's the queued up link) — of Mark Lewisohn bragging and basking in the praise of being called a historian who should be ranked alongside the great LBJ biographer Robert Caro, of him saying that the Beatles should appreciate anyone writing a biography of this high a standard about them, and a momentary lapse into deep resentment that they don't appreciate him. And then he gives his little speech about the Beatles being about “truth with a capital ‘T’” and how he is writing a biography to match that truth.

“Truth” is a word Mark Lewisohn needs to keep out of his mouth. If you feel like he should be struck by lightening for uttering it, that is exactly what I am talking about.

We are that lightening.

Honestly, what AKOM started is so awesome. It gave this an outlet. (And I still go back and listen for both source material and motivation.)

It's sickening to listen to this now. Sickening because Lewisohn has been making us all his dupes for far too long. We have been his marks, and there's almost nothing I hate more than being conned.

[cheerful-sixears]

Running To Your Heart When You're Thinking Of…

STATUS: Unfinished; will most likely remain unfinished. [why? because it was started at a horrid time of my life. plain and simple.]

FANDOM: Transformers: Bayverse

PROMPT: “I pushed everyone away because they weren’t you”

SONG INSPIRATION: Sleep Token-Aqua Regia 

PAIRING: Ironhide (Bayverse) x OC (Self Insert)

After a long, strenuous drive through the city, riddled with anxiety and emotional struggles, Killian arrogantly thrusted the vehicles’ passenger door open and whimpered in a very stressed, overwhelmed manner. He said nothing as he walked over to the old, roughed-up barn on the abandoned property that he, strangely though in Keely-fashion, claimed as a “safe space”. It was an unusual choice, but it held strong feelings of safety to him, and that’s what mattered in the end. The vehicle behind him began to shapeshift-rather-transform and knelt down behind him, placing his brutish arm around Killian’s person as a barrier to keep him from moving any further away. Keely grumbled  and stomped his foot, his muscles tensed and braced with clenched fists. He turned around with an almost irate, yet pleading expression, “Just let me go, please? It’s not like you wanted to stay here, anyway,” 

The mech snorted with an irritable whirring rumble, almost offended by the young man’s words. Ironhide, his assigned guardian, stood upright for a moment, leaned down further to Keely’s

 level and held back an annoyed, rumbling growl-at least attempted to-but in the end it seemed to have slipped, “I do not understand, why are you so angry at me? Why do you push everyone away and expect me to make it better? I am your guardian, not your-” Before he could finish his heated retort, Killian stomped his foot again, and bared his teeth in what looked like….agony. Sheer agony. The emotional pain that Ironhide began reading brought a sudden ache to his own spark.

“I pushed everyone away because they weren’t you.--Optimus? Ratchet? Bumblebee? I don’t want them. I want YOU. I have this aching in my chest….it’s not physical pain…it’s this…weird, sickening feeling that i get everytime you’re around. I just want to be with you….You ever get that sensation? Where someone is literally your life because you only live to see them smile? Laugh? Maybe even cry?....You’re that person, Ironhide. You’re MY person….” At this point, Killian was sputtering and sobbing. He was near incoherent at the end of his desperate point made. Gasping, tearful and shamefully covering his face with visibly shaken hands, his anguish and anger spilled from his trembling lips in bursts of sorrowful whimpers and gasps.

Taken aback, Ironhide swallowed hard. His chords were strained as he attempted to form his next words with caution. He was lucky his previous sentence was cut short. He knew then, from experience, his words would’ve caused more damage than good. He was an expert in combat and weapon’s specialist, but a spark-mate? He never thought twice about that…with a human. It never once crossed his mind, until he thought about Killian’s words. His optics traced Keely for further emotional analysis, but he wasn’t Ratchet, so that was pretty pointless. Empathy was not his specialty, neither was human emotion, but something nagged him in the back of his processors. It was a desperate voice within the workings of his spark. It yearned for him to speak, to catch the young man before he fell. It desperately spoke the obvious phrase, “save him.”

[ozaitheestallion]

You said you immediately saw Ozai as being played as a drag queen?? PLEASE elaborate I'm so interested in the way ur mind works 🙏

Okay so maybe I’m just incredibly fucked up and deep down the queer horror rabbit hole (I’ve been watching a lot of Dragula, American Horror Story and classic horrors lately), but the second you start looking at Ozai through a drag, camp, “classic Disney villain” lens, it’s hard to see him any other way.

Like I watched this show as a kid when I originally aired and like basically everyone, I was absolutely terrified and sickened by Ozai, the shitty dad and ultimate big bad villain who is also not even really the main villain, right? Like that’s Azula or Zhao or whoever. That’s how basically all of us original viewers saw him and how a lot of new viewers still do. Fair enough. Not inaccurate.

However, I didn’t do rewatches of the show again, not until the revival in interest over COVID. I hadn’t rewatched it even once since it originally aired and so therefore I expected my viewpoint to change…but nowhere near as drastically as my view of Ozai did.

I’m not saying Ozai is written to be viewed as a drag character, because of course he isn’t, but as I said, once you start looking at him through that specific lens, you won’t be able to see him any other way.

He’s kept in the shadows unless we need a dramatic scary reveal. He’s constantly making dramatic, prose-filled speeches for the benefit of…like…no one lmao like most his scenes are one on one confrontations. He has a very dramatic design, being a conventionally attractive man yet has that fuck ass goatee, the best eyeliner in the country and more detail put into his hair than any other character gets.

He does his whole reveal as the Phoenix King that goes off without a hitch, perfectly rehearsed. This was a surprise to no one but Azula. He got every damn person in the palace in on this stupid reveal. They already know he’s going to become a new ruler with a new title. They already know. This isn’t for their benefit. He did an entire reveal just for the benefit of his kid. If there’s one thing a queen loves, it’s a dramatic unnecessary reveal.

As he fights Aang, he just keeps making these speeches that a child will either not be interested in or too far away to even hear or appreciate, yet he keeps going anyway.

Right up until the end and then going into the comics, he’s dramatic, bitter and playing everyone against each other even though he has absolutely nothing to gain anymore. He puts Zuko and Azula against each other and antagonises Ursa even though it will gain him nothing and do nothing except kill time. Insults for the sake of insults and mess for the sake of mess. The fact insults of far greater power can be thrown back at him in his position is something he doesn’t even consider. Just messy for the sake of being messy and evil for the sake of being evil.

Ozai would fit nicely alongside classic queer-coded Disney villains like Ursula, Scar, Hades, Maleficent and Captain Hook.

He’s so dramatic and so over the top with his cruelty, his crimes and his villainous actions, yet is completely and utterly committed to the bit he’s doing. There’s no self aware clever jabs like Azula or obvious moment of “look at how ridiculous he is” like with Zhao. Ozai and his writing are completely committed to what he’s doing and burning down the entire world literally by hand, and at no point is it questioned. It’s like watching Divine in a John Waters film. This is simply what the character I doing and you’re the ridiculous one for questing them.

Ozai takes himself so seriously and so literally and is so very offended and genuinely surprised when he’s questioned and called out, (like why on earth would he think burning his son’s face is a valid teaching moment or burning the entire earth kingdom will in any way be a good start to his new empire), that it becomes camp.

This is…extremely long and meandering and tbh I don’t think there’s any way for me to really clearly define why I view Ozai as an example of a classic queer/drag coded villain. If you don’t agree and do take his portrayal as an abusive father and an imperialist tyrant seriously and that’s how you prefer to view the story, then by all means do that. I’m not trying to change your mind.

I’m just saying that sometimes our views of things can change dramatically as we ourselves change as people, and sometimes those changes are extremely entertaining, nonsensical and fun to explore.

Like the IT remakes, some unspeakable horrors can also be viewed and enjoyed as queer adjacent comedies if you look sideways and saying. And sometimes the unspeakable horrors are better that way.

[silverynight]

Tanjirou and his friends encounter a small child, around 6, who was separated from her family during a demon attack.

He decides to care for the little one while they try to track down her family. But this kid….yeah she’s a manipulative evil little brat. She becomes very attached to Tanjirou and doesn’t want ANYONE near him. She’s rude to the Hashira, the other slayers, kakushis, the butterfly girls, Zenitsu and Inosuke, hell even Nezuko. From kicking and biting the slayers when Tanjirou isn’t looking to putting wasps inside Inosuke’s mask to shaking and kicking Nezuko’s box. Such a little hellion.

She’s a monster towards the Hashira especially. Seeing them constantly around Tanjirou sickens her. So she would do anything she can to make them look like awful people in front of Tanjirou. Worse, she’s great at playing defenseless little girl and just makes her eyes all teary for Tanjirou to take her side.

This kid is literally at the top of everyone’s shit list right next to Muzan himself. But she’s a child who is under the beloved sunshine’s protection. She’s UNTOUCHABLE.

The entire corps comes together to find her family. FAST

Tanjirou is so happy with everyone actually, because it's obvious that they care so much about that kid and that's why they're so desperate to find her family.

[auromelt]

i’m relieved we have you not enough people talk about suzaki 😭 do you have hcs for suzaki and amagai as hogwarts students?

firstly, thank you ❤️ i’m happy to be here as someone who seems to have fixated on ryo and kohei and has significantly less interest in everything else, though i was a fan of the series before the worst x haha. anyways into the question. i’ll discuss them romantically because i feel like a bit of a sucker today hahaha

disclaimer: rowling can actually eat my ass like this br*tish woman is a menace and idgaf what anyone else says about her. i'm genderfluid so i do wish she would evaporate. but i did grow up adoring some parts of hp so i have thought about szam in a hogwarts setting before!

szam hogwarts headcanons:

i’m a believer in pureblood slytherin kohei and halfblood hufflepuff ryo! i also see them as members of their house quidditch teams

speaking of quidditch, kohei gifted ryo his broom! i imagine that kohei always ensures to keep his broom up to date, the latest and best model, his family is of old money pureblood wealth so expenses are not even close to being a problem for him. and ryo is his best friend so he keeps ryo’s broom updated too even if ryo doesn’t actually see the need to change his broom.

kohei’s excuse for buying ryo brooms is that he needs ryo to have all the same equipment as him so that when he crushes hufflepuff in the inter house quidditch cup ryo can’t blame it on his equipment being shit (hufflepuff wins 3 cups while szam attend hogwarts, gryffindor wins 2 and ravenclaw and slytherin 1 each so kohei basically shot himself in the foot)

i envision ryo having a wizard father and a muggle mother and that he was largely raised in the muggle world but he did have knowledge of his father’s wizard blood so he wasn’t in the dark about it when he got his letter.

meanwhile kohei is pureblood. but since they were born after the second wizarding war, he doesn’t really hold any of the blood purity beliefs that older pureblood wizards hold. he does, however, laugh at people for being broke. ryo is an exception (a pattern for me, if u guys have noticed. ryo is always kohei’s exception)

i like to think that they met shortly before enrolling in school, like in diagon alley or on the hogwarts train. before they got sorted, and that kohei was disappointed when his first friend didn’t get sorted into the same house as him

kohei’s grades are way better than ryo’s, perhaps because his family placed more emphasis on success than ryo’s did. but ryo is better at casting spells and brewing potions and the actual practical parts of being a wizard lol, it’s natural talent. he’s just not good at written exams bc frankly he dgaf. (“if i can do it then the exam doesn’t actually matter right?” and kohei seethes)

on that note, ryo is a genius. there’s not a single spell or potion that’s deemed to difficult for him and it doesn’t take much work at all for him to perfect them. but he refuses any sort of opportunities presented to him by aurors who have taken an interest in him and the likes because he wants to be with kohei

kohei has had a sickening an obvious crush on ryo since the start of second year after he spent the whole summer at home thinking about ryo and realising how much shittier everything is without his hufflepuff friend every day lol. ryo likes him a ton too but is way more poker about it and is also so oblivious so their relationship goes nowhere for years. EVERYONE knows, even fujio from gryffindor knows and he never knows anything. everyone knows except ryo, who literally does not even consider that kohei could like him too until his fellow hufflepuffs directly confront him about his “relationship” with the slytherin quidditch captain in year 5

they’re each other’s date to the yule ball. kohei stumbles over the most embarrassing asking of the century and ryo never mentions it to anyone to save his reputation, but ryo is really happy about it

speaking of the yule ball, since they’re not actually together and the two other schools come to visit hogwarts. and of course, students from the other school mingle with them and flirt with them and ryo is a bit dejected watching kohei being polite (he’s convinced kohei likes them) to the people flirting with him, but moves on with it because he never really expected kohei to like him at all anyway. meanwhile, kohei’s wand starts sparking when he sees ryo cluelessly interacting with the people flirting with him.

kohei cant cast a patronus for shit. ryo got it on his first attempt, ryo’s patronus takes the form of a wolf and he’s more than willing to use it to defend himself and kohei since kohei’s patronus won’t take form

ryo’s probably really into the creatures of the wizarding world and follows that newt book like it’s the bible. on that note, because of his mother, he can see thestrals

yeah that’s kinda all i got for now. i haven’t consumed hp in years because well… like i said she can eat my ass. but this is what i remember of it! i hope it’s satisfying enough :3

[anxietywriter]

friends?

always. this is a list of all the negative or presumptuous dialogue/blurbs of things regarding close friendships. so it's like. assumptions of dating and shipping of friends who don't feel anything for each other. It's also interspersed with my vent feelings

so lil tw for venting and if people pushing friends to date bothers you!

"Would you ever date me?" "Pfft. Absolutely not." "Damn so harsh haha." My apologies for being blunt and not wanting to lead you on and feeling the need to be more firm after being asked the same question SEVERAL times. It's not me denying my hidden feelings.

it's growing up and having a bunch of friends, regardless of gender. It was always who was the nicest. Who'd run the fastest. who can go the farthest on the monkey bars or play pretend the best. it's getting older and hearing whispers of you dating a friend. it's getting older and slowly having less friends of the opposite gender. it's being nervous about talking to any guy because you don't want the hassle of everyone around you cooing about how cute you'd be as a couple.

it's feeling uncomfortable. of constantly having to set everyone straight. and having conversations about the same thing over and over again, of insisting that there's nothing going on. of being questioned teasingly about anytime the two of you hang out as if it were a date. it's distancing yourself. because that's the only thing that works because the less interaction the better

"I don't think I could ever like date someone, break up, and stay friends. Even if we were friends beforehand." "That's sad." "... Is it? I don't think it is." the person who told me this has never seen me in a relationship but has an opinion on how I should feel a lot

it's the placating "you'll find someone" after saying you're single. like I get that it's meant to be comforting. but it is genuinely disconcerting seeing how many people feel like they NEED a relationship. not as in, "oh haha if we're still single by 30 let's get married instead" bc that's actually sane. It's more of a companionship thing. There are people who'd literally rather die than be single like, what?? I'm sorry you apparently can't appreciate anything or anyone else? you deserve to feel loved. and sometimes it comes from a platonic relationship rather than a romantic one and that's okay dammit.

when you're affectionate with everyone and everyone knows that but for some reason everyone is under the impression that you and the one other person in the group who happens to have the same interests as you are made for each other and said affection is proof. Of how it doesn't matter if you do that with everyone, it's different with them. and there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise unless you just straight up fucking lie about being aromantic or something because they won't listen

jealous partners completely ending the friendship and losing all your friends because they, reasonably, suspected something was going on. Because the group could not stop shutting up about how surprised they were that you weren't their partner instead. Or joking about how affectionate you used to be and the obvious crush

being pushed and asked about a romantic relationship all too soon and needing to distance yourself because you had a rough breakup. and instead of being able to talk about that, you're stuck denying this fictional attraction to someone else you just met

when you're affectionate and playfully flirty with friends and people assume you're in a relationship and insist that there's something there. but it's laughably untrue because anyone that's known you while you were in a relationship... you acted differently. A lot sweeter, more genuine. The playfulness still there, but completely swamped by the soft endearments and sickening sappiness

the paranoia of not wanting to hurt your friend but also not wanting to be close to them after they ask again and again if you have feelings for them. Because you're afraid they've developed feelings and want to distance them from you for their own good

[polerikapolerika]

Of Love, Doom and Scones

So... I don't know how that happened, but I've accidentaly written an Aldrich Kemp fanfic. The first one out there. (At least I didn't find any others.) Well. Here it is. (And if you didn't listen to Aldrich Kemp podcasts, please do! They are wonderful!)

G, Gen, 1.4k words

"What's happening to Aldrich?" Sebastian hisses to Nakesha across the tea table, loud enough to startle everyone except, well, Aldrich, who just sighs wistfully and looks as if he's miles away.

"Can't you guess?" Nakesha inquires calmly. "Mrs. Boone, would you be a dear and bring another pot of tea?"

"Certainly, miss."

Of course, Sebastian could guess. Frankly, it is quite obvious: the old chap literally has heart-shaped eyes and smiles ridiculously at a distance, like the worst romantic cliche of the most sickening lovey-dovey movie on Earth.

But firstly, Sebastian has never seen him like that, not even that time in Tanzania, about three years ago, with a young Miss What-Was-Her-Name, who somehow managed to keep Aldrich's attention to herself for the whole two evenings. (And nights, unfortunately. Sebastian's bed was just a wall away, and they were abominably loud and enthusiastic. He feared that the ceiling might collapse on top of him at any moment, and it was impossible to fall asleep. He was forced to contemplate sleeping on a couch in the other room of his suite! Luckily for him, on the third night, she was gone and never mentioned again. Needless to say, from that time on, whenever they traveled together, he booked himself a room across the hallway from Aldrich's—just in case.)

Secondly, and most worryingly, it screams trouble more than anything Aldrich has managed to drag them into before, and that is an accomplishment in itself. It's a wonder that Nakesha doesn’t seem troubled at all. Certainly, if it comes to the worst, they can always plan an untimely demise for the poor girl. It's a shame, though. For all Sebastian knows, she’s an innocent bystander just like any of them, who had the misfortune to be caught in the way of a catastrophic force that is Aldrich. But then, maybe she'll listen to reason and run as far away as possible. Nah. It won't make a difference since it seems that Aldrich has firmly made up his mind. Death it is, then. She'll thank them later.

Or maybe…

"Wait, it's not Clara, is it?"

Clara, who is sitting right next to him, chokes on a scone.

"More tea, miss?" Mrs Boone tops her cup from a fresh pot without batting an eye.

"No! Er- Yes, thank you, Mrs Boone. No, Sebastian! It's not me! Gosh, I hope not… Aldrich?!"

"Calm down, Clara!" Aldrich laughs, finally deciding to grace them with the gift of his company, "of course it's not you. Although I do find you fascinating in your own way and love you almost like a sister—” Nakesha throws a napkin at him, but he simply shakes it off, “Oh, Nakesha, don’t be like that! But no, that woman, she's… " He sighs again, and Sebastian feels dread twirling in his stomach.

"Oh no," he groans, "this time we're all going to die, aren't we?"

Nakesha exchanges pointed looks with Aunt Lily. Yes, fine, he is being overdramatic, perhaps. But Aldrich is dangerously reckless at his best, and now, when he's suddenly head over heels for some mysterious woman…

"Aldrich, my dear, you are pulling Sebastian’s strings mercilessly." Aunt Lily puts her cup on a saucer with a meaningful clank. "And while I agree that most times it is quite entertaining, right now we have all had enough suspense. Who is that woman you are mooning over like a fool?"

"I have no idea!" Aldrich exclaims with manic glee as if it is the most exciting thing in the world. Oh God. It's worse than Sebastian could imagine. They are doomed.

“Well, we are waiting!” Aunt Lily raises her voice a bit and Sebastian notices that nobody drinks their tea anymore. Even Mrs Boone’s unobtrusive presence seems somehow more focused than before. That’s good. At least now they are taking this seriously.

Aldrich laughs again, a bit bashfully, and puts hands in the air in mocking surrender. “Fine, fine, I’ll tell you everything.”

Wait, is he blushing? Sebastian isn’t sure he believes his eyes.

“So, do you remember how last week I failed to obtain the emerald bracelet that was brought from Munich to the National Gallery for a special exhibition?”

At that Clara makes an undignified squeak. No doubt, she has something to say about the attempted theft of a priceless jewelry piece, but that is not the point at the moment. They weren’t even the ones who’ve stolen it, though not for the lack of trying! So, Sebastian is very grateful to Nakesha for a hearty elbow jab that prevented an untimely interruption.

Undisturbed, Aldrich continues: “As you know, my plan was flawless. Everything was going smoothly as a buttered biscuit. The guards were adequately subdued, the alarm system was off, Nakesha was waiting outside in a getaway Porsche. All that remained was to remove the glass and take the bracelet. And that’s exactly what she did! I saw her from the entrance of the hall, but it was already late to intercept. She made a run for it in the opposite direction. Naturally, I ran after her, although it would be easier to shoot her, I suppose. Still, I couldn't risk firing a gun at the museum. I’m not an animal.”

Clara snorts. Aldrich looks offended for a moment, but then sighs in defeat. “Well, long story short, when I got to the next hall, she was already gone. I’ve checked all obvious escape routes, but found nothing. Not a trace. All the CCTV cameras nearby were on a recorded loop thanks to us. And that’s the end of it. I was outplayed.”

He smiles, elated, as if Christmas came early. Sebastian groans internally.

“Well, then,” Aunt Lily says. “Surely you must have found out who this woman is? It’s been a week, as you said. No one can be that good—that we don’t know of.”

“Oh, Aunt Lily, believe me, I tried,” Aldrich chuckles dryly. “I’ve exhausted all the possible means aside from asking any of you for help. Sorry about that, by the way, but as you can see this is a personal matter. I’m sure you understand.”

There’s that ghastly awestruck expression on his face again.

“I’ve only caught a glimpse of her in the twilight. A brief memory. Oh, what a grace. What a beautiful laughter, like a chime in the wind. It’s like she was a ghost. Or some magical creature. I could almost come to think that I imagined her, but the lack of the bracelet in my possession seems to suggest otherwise.”

“So…” Nakesha drawls plaintively, “this girl has laughed at you and you’re not mad at her? You know what, Sebastian, this time you might be right. I believe we should find her, and fast. At the very least she has my birthday present.”

To Clara’s credit, she only rolls her eyes at that. Aldrich beams.

“As a matter of fact, you don’t need to worry about that. I have a plan!”

Aunt Lily sighs theatrically and asks for more tea and scones. Mrs Boone leaves for the kitchen. Clara shifts at her seat uneasily. Nakesha scoffs. Sebastian doesn’t bother with a reaction. It’s Aldrich, after all, of course he has a plan. What’s new? Good thing is he is forced to share it, so they have at least a chance to prevent the most devastating consequences.

Aldrich doesn’t pay them any mind, as usual.

“It’s quite simple, actually, as most good things are. As you might know, the Grand Duchess of Oldenburg is going to attend the Coronation and—” he points up a finger, “wear the twin bracelet to the one we haven’t managed to obtain. Obviously, I was planning to relieve the Grand Duchess of it anyway. They do look much better in a pair. So, all we have to do is wait for my lovely vis-a-vis from last week to reappear and this time be faster than her. Easy as rain.”

“Oh, and to think I was going to skip the Coronation this time,” Aunt Lily says scornfully, “but needs must. Nakesha, darling, could you ring the Palace and tell them we will need the booth they arranged for us after all?”

“Of course, Aunt Lily, right after we finish our tea.”

As if on cue, Mrs Boone appears with a steaming pot and freshly baked scones. Sebastian snatches one from the pile. It smells heavenly. Well then, no point to dwell on it for now.

“Clara,” he asks, “can you pass me the jam, please?”