#literally one of the worst things that could've happened to me today

[stargirl230]

.

[kanmom51]

i wish, i hope, i beg the insecure jikookers (if they are even jikookers) would actually sit down and THINK. there's always and i mean always a large, a HUGE picture we have been getting just a tiny cut out from, in every situation. and it's not even a new thing, we have always been aware we are getting just a tiny crumb off of a big cake. so i'm not really understanding what's everyone fussing so much about?

there's always a room for millions of possibilities of what actually could have happened and these people always seem to think the 'worst' (it's not even the worst, so what if jimin wasn't there with him? is there some rule book couples must follow?). you get what i mean no? he could've been in the room next door, sleeping, on his phone, he could've been sleeping in his apartment, hell, would the 2 minute live gone longer than 2 minutes he could've walked in on the screen without knowing they are even live, just as jk did. i could go on and on and on...

not to mention that since april 4th morning KST (bb hot100 update and jms wlive) we have got just ONE update about jikooks whereabouts- that being minimoni on a nike dinner and jk unsurprisingly being like 900 metres (0.5 miles) away from that said dinner with his 97liner friends celebrating Mingyu's birthday (really surprising that the nineone neighbours +jk are within one kilometer in one area). so that leaves us (if we count april 4th after the early celebration wlive) with 4 whole days of nothing. nada.

so unless you're living in the walls of jimin and jungkook's apartments you have no, and i can't stress this enough, fucking idea what's happening.

i should probably mention the fact that jk is flying off to the US in just a few hours (maybe not even that many), meaning he could've been at his apartment to pack some damn stuff, do some damn laundry before he flies away for who knows how long. or he just wanted to spend time at his apartment you know, an apartment that's his. because he owes no one a damn explanation.

it's actually baffling how some of you all claim to love them and believe in them and their relationship so much, yet you expect something from them all the damn time. an explanation. a statement. a huge gesture. a coming out. i guess that is not bad per say because after all, they've done it before (except the coming out part obviously), yet again, they don't owe you anything. so don't go around jikook blogs constantly spreading negative emotions that you yourself are feeling after something that doesn't go the way you have wanted it to go.

i actually have many more things to say, how all of this is happening literally months before they have to enlist and complete their duty as korean citizens, which is a heavy topic for any queer person that lives in SK and how this whole situation still must be very overwhelming (not in a good way) for them, but for now i will stop here. it's actually the first time i think i have written something on here, because i have had enough of the constant repetition. this all just convinced me i could never be a blogger, lmao. 😅

sit back. relax. and THINK before you write something. thanks.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!

All of that.

Just wanted to add about that night out on the 6th April outings cause you already brought it up.

JK and JM, how dare they, were spotted not together.

JM at the Nike dinner with RM and others.

JK was at a restaurant, which only today we found out was a dinner with Eunwoo and Mingyu, both his 97 liner friends (Eunwoo btw being a good friend of JM's too, surprise surprise).

And how surprising, the restaurant that JK and his friends dined at was a few hundred meters from where JM was with RM and the others, and the two were pretty close to JK's apartment.

Just a little more pieces to add to the puzzle of very little info we get (not to mention it coming to us in pieces).

Also, matching hats (not identical) going out on same night?

Caption: lovers.

Or in Papago:

Trust in K-army.

They are rejoicing in JM and JK's relationship. Why can't I-army do the same???

[necromancer-at-abattoir]

IMO KOTLC is better than PJO for this

One thing that I will ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS, love about KOTLC is that it's WAY LESS problematic than Percy Jackson.

CYNICALCLAIRVOYANTCADAVER, you yell, marching in with your shotgun, WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY?!!?!?!??!?!

It's true. It's not blasphemy.

Before you gun me down, hear me out and then decide.

First of all-

Percy Jackson has Holocaust Denial.

It's true. In TLT, Grover tells Percy that WWII was caused by the sons of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades fighting And...........that's it.

Do you know how terrible this is?

No, literally. WWII was one of the if not THE worst war to ever ravage the Earth. Causes and reasons of it are very complex and there is no single reason for it. Millions of people suffered unspeakable atrocities and had fates worse than death, and Jews were nearly wiped out.

Millions of people are still affected today by WWII. Jews have lost entire families and lands, and there are huge gaps in their family trees because of this. WWII will never be something to joke about, and..........

and........in the PJOverse.........surprise! Actually, it was cuz big 3 kids were whiny babies fighting about something (WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WERE FIGHTING ABOUT?!?!?!?!) and then dangerous prophecy came so uWu we're gonna use this terrible war as a reason for why GREEK GODS CAN'T HAVE DEMIGODS ANYMORE!

Oh, did I mention that the Greek Gods are considered a reason WWII started in Percy Jackson?

DID I FUCKING MENTION THAT? OH YES I DID! AND THIS IS HORRIBLE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

Associating Ancient Greek Gods with modern day horrors.......and BLAMING them for it, no less........is absolutely disgusting. It affects Greek people and Hellenistic Pagans because there are idiots who will read this and believe that all of this is true. That Hades is associated with Hitler, and he's literally his son. And it was canon until Rick said it wasn't because of the backlash.

And this is for children who don't learn about the Holocaust until much later, so THIS is going to be ingrained in their brains and they're going to struggle to accept the real version. It happens.

I was just so flabbergasted when I read it. I mean, PJO is so problematic for this. It's not a joke.

You don't compare someone to Hitler. You don't compare anyone to Hitler because Hitler was an evil bastard who murdered millions of people. You don't use WWII as a plotline, ok?

And this is where I come to KOTLC.

When the gang was in the Forbidden Cities, Sophie was reminded of Hitler (go elsewhere for context).

And Shannon, right here, Shannon could've compared the Neverseen to Hitler. But she didn't. She didn't compare them, because the Neverseen are way less problematic than Hitler. Yes, they're evil, very evil, but they're not Hitler, all right? Hitler was way more problematic than these morons.

Just type in WWII PJO and search for why it's such a problem. You'll get it, I swear.

And, also, setting aside WWII and Hitler-

PJO bastardizes Greek culture and gods. It plops the gods in America for no good reason (the explanation for why is complete shit, search it up) and it makes them wildly OOC.

Zeus is portrayed as a cruel, paranoid abuser, and there's no nuance to him.

Poseidon is portrayed as a chill guy who's done nothing wrong when he's really cruel in the myths.

Ares is portrayed as a bad father when he was probably the best father in Greek Mythology.

Don't start me on the demonisation of Aphrodite and Athena as well as Artemis and how he portrays her and Hestia, and also how he gives Athena kids when she's a freakin virgin goddess, and no, brain children do not count because they're still children that she created.

But most of all, he makes the Greek gods bad parents........which was not the case in the mythology.

I mean, I am aware that Rick has the creative license to portray the Greek Gods however he wants, but what he did with them was terrible. And I have the right to criticise him.

KOTLC does not do any such thing. It does not bastardize elves or their culture. No one has an inaccurate view on elves because of KOTLC.

Yes, KOTLC has sexist and racist stereotypes, but so does PJO, only PJO has it on a larger, grander scale. Rick actively refuses to listen to his POC fans' criticism while Shannon is trying to fix what she started.

KOTLC will always be better than PJO for this.

[beanghostprincess]

My take on OPLA's "Zoro vs. Mihawk" fight because I love to criticize the things I like

I'm gonna start by saying that I love the live-action. I'm obsessed. The casting is great and the set is stunning. However, despite enjoying OPLA I do have a lot of complaining to do about it because I absolutely love analyzing media and characters. That being said, I don't want this post to make it look like I am disregarding the directors and writers here. They did a good job with what they had but I personally think I would've done it a lot differently.

So... Let's start!

The thing that bothers me the most about episode 5 (episode that I honestly consider to be the worst in a lot of ways and for a lot of reasons) is that they intend to make it look like Zoro has this intense and personal connection with Luffy. A devotion that makes him so damn worried and self-conscious about losing the fight that he starts crying (or at least they tried to make Mackenyu cry? I'm not sure there. But he cries in the manga so, yeah. 'Frustration' perhaps is a better word). And Zoro does feel that devotion towards Luffy from the very beginning. The guy literally changed his life! But that is obvious and visible in the manga/anime because we can see Luffy making promises and being demanding and direct and literally a damn sunshine to Zoro. They have this conversation about him getting back his swords, about being the king of the pirates... There's this connection between them. One that says:

"You'll be my first mate" and "I'd literally give my life for you"

Damn, if there was a trope for love at first sight only for captains and their first mates? They would be the damn blueprint.

But OPLA wasn't able to make them show that connection because most of the scenes are rushed and/or skipped. And I understand. I truly do. It's just a live-action and the manga is long as hell. But the thing is... Don't expect me to believe Zoro's devotion is real if you haven't even shown me how it started. The root of the problem isn't the fight or his speech in episode 5, but the lack of emotional connection in episode 1 that they could've easily fixed by reordering the scenes.

So, regarding everything pre-ep 5: If they had shown us their relationship better, episode 5 wouldn't have felt so... Rushed? Out of character? And I don't mean out of character in a 'Zoro wouldn't say/do this' way (because of course he would, and did canonically) but in a 'OPLA!Zoro wouldn't say/do this because he hasn't experienced the exact same things that manga!Zoro has' way.

Yes, it's a live-action, but as a stand-alone? Zoro's behavior doesn't make any sense. That also happens with Nami, but this post isn't about our weather queen. Not today, at least.

Before I get into the fight I must also say that, even if I appreciated Zoro/Nami's dynamic and scenes, I find them completely unnecessary and useless. Firstly, because those scenes would've been better if they had used them to build their relationship with Luffy and not only between them. Secondly, because the writers do absolutely nothing with them. The relationship is only used as a plot device to foreshadow Arlong Park. And it bothers me because they could've done that without taking scenes from Luffy/Zoro and Luffy/Nami. This also happened because they decided to put so many scenes with the Marine, by the way, but I guess everyone is aware of that already.

The thing about the straw hat pirates is that they're a family. There are different connections/relationships/dynamics between them. But the main focus and reason why they joined is always Luffy and only Luffy. OPLA wanted to make them all a family in the first episodes and share all the important scenes together when actually that doesn't work like that. Everyone in the crew builds different dynamics with Luffy with personal and private scenes, and I think they took that magic away from them in OPLA wanting them all to share the same experiences for no reason. They don't build private connections (besides Nami/Zoro, but that doesn't even work in the end). This is why I like OPLA!Sanji so so much! His scenes with Luffy are immaculate.

Basically: The writers decided that since it's a live-action and most of the viewers will be already OP fans, it doesn't matter if they make Zoro's devotion exist without actually showing it because we already know he's devoted to his captain. So they take that info, make it happen, and they give no explanation to new watchers as to why the hell this dude who is supposed to not trust people easily, suddenly trusts Luffy so much. Even if it's a live-action, you should never take things for granted as a writer.

Now that I've established how it doesn't make sense for Zoro to act the way he does due to the lack of scenes with Luffy pre-episode 5, I'm gonna talk about my overall opinion about the fight itself and Zoro's pretty iconic speech to Luffy.

I'm no expert with fighting scenes but I've watched enough movies and animes (and you don't even need to, to be honest) to know that it is incredibly rushed. There's no tension. And the choreography is so... Dull. The only fight scenes I enjoyed were the ones in episode 1. This, in my opinion, is mostly the director's fault. The shots are either boring or too exaggerated and the whole fight is just not enjoyable to watch. The setting also makes it really empty. Everyone is just... There... Together... Netflix, don't be so scared of putting space between characters, I'm begging you. A bit of theatre directing is what this scene needs.

Also, Sanji isn't there and it bothers me a lot. Like a whole lot. Like a lot lot. And the fact that Nami is there when she shouldn't be (and also holds Usopp's hand? Like girl, chill, you've only interacted twice? They should've added Usopp to that drinking game scene if they wanted them to grow closer like that before the fight. But of course, Usopp is just the comedy relief for Netflix) also bothers me a lot lot lot.

In general, OPLA's shots aren't my cup of tea, and the overuse of comic-like moments dividing the screen made me cringe more than once (the first time was funny. Referencing the manga. But then it gets tiring. Mostly because the shots are just too close to their faces). Also, what's up with the corners being blurry all the time and the shots being extremely close to their faces? I don't know if it's just me but it's uncomfortable to watch.

Leaving that aside, Mackenyu did a great job with the fighting scenes. Love him to death. Kissing him from a distance. Great work.

Now, the thing that bothers me the most...

Zoro's speech.

Not only do they skip the important part where Zoro calls Luffy "The king of the pirates" but they also make it extremely dull and boring. It's not Mackenyu's fault. He's a good actor. However, I do think that this scene didn't need a close approach between the characters.

What this scene needs is passion. Frustration. Tears. Screaming. Relief when Zoro realizes Luffy isn't disappointed. Determination when he decides to keep fighting and training to become the world's greatest swordsman. And I think Mackenyu's performance would've been way better if they had given him the right indications and space between him and Iñaki.

I always say that physical space is great for scenes like this one because it challenges the actor to express their emotions without physical contact. A close and sweet approach is also good, but I think they should've just used that for the scene in episode 6 where Zoro wakes up. Them being physically close then is good, because there's a bond and they want and crave touching each other. However, after losing a fight and almost disappointing his captain? What Zoro needed was to openly cry to the sky and yell at Luffy that he would become the world's greatest swordsman. For himself. For Kuina. And for Luffy, his captain.

It's a very emotional scene and I get that it's complicated to do the same thing the manga does... But it really isn't that hard to give Mackenyu space so he has to yell and be openly frustrated. It seems like he wanted to cry. Like he was trying to cry. But the tears didn't come out because having Iñaki and the others so damn close didn't give him the space he needed to yell his emotions.

On the other hand, even if I don't like this scene and I prefer Luffy and Zoro to not be so close to each other, this would've kind of worked if they had had some connection and scenes pre-episode 5. But they don't. So, yeah, whatever.

Also (and this is just me being me) I wouldn't have used an aerial shot of them for the final scene. Zoro is satisfied now. He faints but he's happy. He proceeds to wake up happy in the next episode. So why not end it with his smiling face as he faints? That's also a recurring topic in the One Piece world! Make it reference Roger and foreshadow Loguetown and Marineford. These directors aren't being creative, let me tell you.

Overall, you can tell that I didn't like how they portrayed this episode, especially this fight/speech. However, before I end this post I want to say that I am aware of how hard it is to make a live-action and it's completely understandable to make scenes shorter and rushed. It's obvious that everyone working on this live-action loves One Piece, and even if I don't like a lot of the things they're doing, that doesn't mean I can't feel the effort and love they put (mostly the actors. The cast is outstanding and extremely sweet!) making this show.

I have more complaints about episode 5 (mostly about Nami's character) but this was just to talk about Zoro and the fight! Let me know in my inbox if you want more of my opinions on OPLA or just want to tell me something! <3

Editing TikTok account where I'm posting my One Piece edits: seraspring

[memberment]

morning everyone

I wasn't gonna make an update post today bc I've been like

kinda debbie downer as fuck & I'm not feeling super yappy.

but I'm literally working on Knockin' On Heaven's Door (36) and Genesis is actually almost done.

Wish me luck at work may or may not update more later<3

(2:51) I'm giggling to myself over how significant 3's and 7's were to this story before I decided to include the seven seals of the apocalypse in it. I am currently writing the seven trumpets and

LOSING MY MIND.

(8:43) Y'ALL I'M BACK FROM WORK WITH TWO NEW FIC CONCEPTS (well, one new one, one might just be implemented into a more casual fic bc the idea itself is really funny but I need an actual plot for it.)

BUT ONE OF THEM REVOLVES AROUND HALLOWEEN SO WHEN I'M DONE ALL OF MY PROJECTS ARE GETTING PUSHED BACK BC THIS IS GONNA BE SOOOOOO FUN.

(also I'm done being sad for rn I gen thought I was gonna get fired today (not at all my fault btw) but I didn't! so yippie!<3)

(9:45) guys idk if this isn't reading as ominous because Im genuinely so desensitized to all things spooky and I've been working on this for like, days straight (again) or if it's not reading as ominous because it's not.

which makes me wanna scream bc that means I'm gonna have to wait A WHILE BEFORE I LET MYSELF ACTUALLY PROPERLY REREAD THIS LMAOOOO (this is actually so annoying)

(2:27) okay so I got distracted for like three hours on this Halloween project but then decided I didn't want to write it so I'm back on Genesis....

Guys...

I didn't know exactly how I wanted the exact end sequence to happen. Like I had a lot of ideas, some I kept.

BUT WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU GUYS.

I was cursing myself bc I'm allowed to have creative freedom and I made Wendy and Brimmy close bc I just phoned it in idk and I got in to deep to change it but I was like wait no that's stupid why did I do that but then I was like no fuck it we ball Brimmy and Wendy duo it's fine (I genuinely love them ngl, I will be writing them again)

THAT WAS THE WORST THING I COULD'VE DONE BC IT JUST MADE THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AT THE END THAT MUCH MORE FUCKING UPSETTING.

I don't know how to cope with this...

Oh also I'm writing 37 rn. We're at 113.5k.

I'm literally almost done. I actually feel sick LMFAOOOO

(2:38) It's not done but I just finished 37. I feel like I'm about to go into shock... I'm at 114k and IN SHOCKKKKK.

Like, I still gotta fill in a few flashbacks and finish up chapter 32, but WOW.

This is like, done. My life is ruined.

(7:05) guys pls tell me how I have just been like in giggle and kick my feet reading ff gear since I finished genesis bc I cant bear to reread and fully finish it tn

and my all of my playlists are cycling through

and Im just like reading this cute lil ff that is HEALING ME after all the shit I just put my cast through

and Baby Kia starts playing. Like my brother in christ it is 7 in the morning…

I am laughing so hard over this I had to sit up and restart one of my playlists bc I cant rn

no one needs to listen to BK at 7am

ANYWAYS after I go to bed (I lowk might stay up to finish reading this fic tho Im on 8/14 and I am NOTORIOUS for picking something up and not sleeping til I finish it if its under 100k (were not discussing this) and I am very invested) I might be MIA all day bc physics labs and my first exam are both due tm.

I probably wont be MIA all day bc I wanna start my halloween project (that all of like two people will prob find as funny as I do, and Im totally fucking fine with that bc I gencthink its so funny.)

OH AND ALSO I decided that this halloween project may be apart of the morning glory/dandelion verse but well get to that when we get there

[burningdarkfire]

well.

i've been getting some bug bites the past couple of days and while washing my sheets today am 99% sure i found a bed bug so. i guess that's happening to me now.

called the landlord pretty much immediately and then spent the entire evening nuking my bed and linens with the dryer and the steamer, which hasn't actually made me feel any better about going to sleep. it's 3am here and i'm just avoiding going to bed at this point since i don't think there's much else i can actually do tonight. in theory the landlord will have a professional pest control company come through ... soon? one hopes?

i've cancelled half my plans for the weekend and just plan to shower before/wear clothes fresh out of the dryer for the other half. hopefully that's enough.

i think i might have brought them back from miami, i was suspicious of a cluster of bites i got on my shoulder while we were there (could've been mosquito bites, but it was exactly the sort of cluster people describe for bed bugs, which hilariously i don't actually have right now, all of my bites are individual or max in pairs) but my friend helped me strip the bed in the hotel and we really didn't find any other signs. i was still careful coming back though (threw all clothes into the washer/dryer immediately, i even washed and dried the bag i took with me which i definitely don't always do) but i mean, there's no point in overthinking the "blame" since we'll never actually know.

i guess i'm lucky that at least we have in-unit washer/dryer combo so it's convenient to do all of this laundry. it's good that i'm the perfect amount of reactive to the bites in that i react but i don't seem to be allergic (i was allergic to some bugs bites as a kid and it sucked, but those days seem to be behind me now - knocking on wood!) so i'm hopeful we caught it early. we also didn't find any other signs while cleaning tonight, and we checked the mattress and bedframes and everything. tbh if a dead body didn't literally drop in front of me i think we'd still be wondering if it was really bed bugs at all. but at least we should be getting professional treatment covered by the landlord.

we actually had a cockroach problem in this apartment a few years ago that was successfully eradicated after .. i think 3 treatments from the pest control company? so i mean. it would be amazing if this went better than that lol but at least they did do something. at least i don't have cockroaches and bed bugs right now (knocking on wood so fucking hard).

i'm generally a good sleeper so i'm hoping that will carry me through. i just need to get ready for bed, lie down, and go to sleep. i keep telling myself that the worst thing to happen with bed bugs is just that you get bug bites, which sucks but really isn't the end of the world. they're a pretty simple problem compared to other pests.

my roommate hasn't had any bites and she was very good about putting up a strong front for me today while i've cried like five separate times already. but like what even am i going to do about it anymore right now. i should just go to sleep!!

if you've read this far ... thanks! i'm sorry if it's gross! i don't know how to deal with this but i would really like someone to hold my hand and reassure me that the world is not currently ending even if it feels like it 😭

[coulsonlives]

Real talk for a sec. (CW abuse)

Today, I realized one of the big problems with car dependence that people don't ever really talk about is how it hides and perpetuates household abuse.

I know someone who was abused as kid, in a suburban area full of detached houses, but I never realized how much this environment made it all worse. Here's what happened: because they didn't have a license, if their parents blew up at them, they couldn't leave the house without their parents driving after them and finding them within like, a minute. There was no one else around to help them, or see what was going on, because obviously these suburban areas don't have a lot of people walking around. They knocked on doors a lot, but nobody answered. There weren't any buses. There weren't any places to hide, no businesses to go into and get help, because everything was lawns and gated-off yards and closed doors. They were stuck walking away for a super brief escape, until their parents drove up behind them, threatened them to get back them into the vehicle, and gave them a verbal lashing.

Imagine being 14 and needing to get away from an abusive situation, but all you see when you go outside is this:

It would be so isolating! Where do you even go? How would you feel as a kid, knowing you can't get away geographically? That no one's gonna help? Hopeless would be an understatement!

What's worse is apparently, their parents yelled at them all the time, and slammed doors, and this person and their sibling both screamed at the top of their lungs for their parents to leave them alone and let go of them, but not a single person called it in, nobody called the police, because nobody heard what was going on. Everything was too far apart, and no one ever passed by to hear things from outside. If someone did pass, they were in a car, and nobody was gonna hear anything through both the walls of a house, and the sound-muffling interior of a car. There's no inherent support system, no chance for someone in an abusive situation to get spontaneous, in-the-moment help, because these neighborhoods literally promote seclusion with how walled-off they are.

Worst of all? This person considered calling the police and support lines, but they were abused and gaslit into thinking they shouldn't because their parents said they were crazy and overreacting. They needed somebody to step in for them.

But nobody got the chance to even realize it was happening.

Yeah, their parents were well-off financially to have a house, but the fucking price that was paid by this person and their sibling. Finances aren't a benchmark for mental health.

This blew my mind, but it makes sense, and it makes me super angry. And I'm gonna guess this doesn't just happen with kids. I can't stop thinking how, when I was a kid, I lived in a place like this, and how many other people could've been in this situation, and I just didn't know it because of how the place was designed.

[whencallstheheart]

To be fair to Lucas and Elizabeth fans, this breakup is unexpected coming straight from their relationship in season 9. However, as you and others have said before, it makes sense based on season 10.

While obviously emotions are running high, it’s almost a bit surprising to me how Lucas fans cannot accept that everything this show does is for ratings.

I see them commenting about how disrespectful this is to the “loyal” hearties, as if this hasn’t all been done before.

Elizabeth’s decision in season 8 was meant for shock factor and the ratings that would follow. No one expected her to pick Lucas, even Team Lucas fans. Literally every sign pointed to her choosing Nathan.

Ratings and viewership are vital for a TV show, and drama like a huge main couple breakup like this brings these things ten fold.

Funniest thing about this whole situation to me is that Lucas fans are finally realising how fickle Brian Bird is. Multiple times today i’ve seen a repost of Bird saying that the Lucas decision was the right one and that Elizabeth was falling for Lucas this time, not the mountie. Look at him now, he was almost ecstatic in the aftershow interview about the direction of the show.

Only thing that’s truly annoyed me is a post I saw saying that Lindsey is clearly Team Nathan, as if John Tinker and his wife were not the No.1 Team Lucas supporters? Even Alfonso literally said that the reason he brought a triangle in is because he wanted to show fans that Nathan was the better choice even though he was a Mountie?! Makes me wonder what would have happened if Alfonso had stuck around for season 8?

Absolutely. Season 10 turned everything on its head. I certainly never expected that Nathan and Elizabeth would ever get a second chance. I fully expected her to marry Lucas and was fine with that.

Yeah, they're mad. They're lashing out. But all shows do this. Couples break up all the time. They have to keep things fresh and exciting. Unfortunately their couple was a casualty but I'm sure Lucas is going to get a good storyline that he wouldn't have been able to have with Elizabeth. This is a positive thing for the character but I don't think they're ready to see that yet.

BB is the worst and I've been saying that for years but people still worship the guy for some reason. He's gonna go along with whatever is happening at the moment... as are all of the actors and writers, etc. People fail to see the big picture sometimes.

The whole showrunner thing is a big mystery. Any of the showrunners could've been fine long-term but for whatever reason they like to switch it up. I don't really get the logic behind it or keep up with what any of them are saying. I haven't heard her talk about Nathan/Elizabeth but she did seem very pro-Lucas' future in season 11. Maybe they had to get Tinker out because they wanted to put Elizabeth with Nathan? Who knows. We'll never know.

[tiredcrystal]

*cut back*

“now you know who I am..” 🕴️

... oh. OH.

I'm so sorry I dozed off right after replying. And now I'm waking up to this...

I don't even know where to start. Uh well this is in fact jas. Hi! I can't believe this is real lol I can't lie to you, I had a feeling by the second ask since I literally know almost know no one here but I didn't wanna assume either.

Well first of all, Thank you. Truly, for thinking of telling me about the new-new blog, for remembering me even. I know I wouldn't have wanted to talk to me again. Speaking of which, I am so sorry you had to meet me at the worst stage of my life. I was so cringe it's unbearable to even glance at my texts and asks from back then. Like I sincerely wish I could've smack the shit out of myself if I traveled back in time.

So thank you again. I hope you've well too. I am not mad at all. I do remember sending you birthday wishes. I didn't have the heart to delete the date from my calendar so I thought I might as well wish you a happy one regardless if you knew who I was or not. And, stop apologizing. You swapped blogs and right around that time, I got quite busy as well. I thought it was best for me to step down, from all social media, not just that. That's why, it wasn't your fault at all. It was just convenient for me because I knew that with all that was happening to me at the time, I won't have the time to talk as much as I used to. That would be vexing, even to me. So it took that chance. If you're ever to blame(you aren't), I would be too, first in line. I won't lie, I did check the new blog from time to time and seeing your occasional posts meant that you were well so it was more than enough for me. I didn't see anything private tho, I don't remember even if I did so you don't have to worry about that. And, please don't feel guilty, I figured you were going through stuff too so it's only natural for you to want space. You had every right.

Also, yes you were the first person I was an anon to, the only one as a matter of fact. It was a stupid thing I chose to do back then, something I can't see myself do again today even in my wildest dreams. Yet I can't be more grateful for cringe young me, and you, for reaching out.

You can sign with whatever you wish, I see you still haven't chosen a name to stick with lol anything you want is fine. But I do have 2 questions I wanna ask; first is how you came to know that jas is me. To send that, you were almost certain it was me so I'm curious. I also wonder what you would've done had it not been me. And if you ever found sho?

[bhaalsbabe]

Big vent

My mother knows I've been literally addicted to milk chocolate for years (but especially last one when I ate up to 100-300grams of it PER DAY) and I've just cold feet quit it a few months ago and there just CANNOT be milk chocolate (specifically milk, I don't like any other) in the house because if I find it, I'll probably eat it. Well guess what. She got herself milk chocolate. And I found it yesterday. So I ate like 2 rows of it (and another 2 rows today) and I told her today that she has to get rid of it because I just can't control myself well (the fact I just didn't munch the entire thing is the most I was able to do, I just can't think straight when sugar is involved, I barely eat anything these days so my brain just went crazy). And she's like "what? That expensive lindt chocolate? How could you, I bought one thing for myself and you eat it". I did not eat it all YET. She always have some sort of chocolate in the house but it's always the kind I don't like so it's okay but this... She fucking knows how hard this is for me, how much I starve myself to lose weight, and now my entire journey is in danger because of this? Because she just had to buy a big good milk chocolate and leave it in the box with vegetables (where she stores chocolate for some reason) and now act hurt that I started eating it?? While I'm struggling to not eat the whole thing and get more the next time I'm buying groceries? What the fuck did she expect? AND WE HAVE TWO FRIDGES AND SHE COULD'VE PUT IT IN THE STORAGE BOX IN THE OTHER ONE THAT I DONT FUCKING USE BUT NO, SHE HAS TO USE THE ONE I USE AND STORE MY THINGS IN. She's not even trying anymore. The worst thing is that I know she'd act the exact same way if I was addicted to alcohol and drank one of her many beers that she would keep in the house anyway, because why should *she* abstain too. Because she doesn't understand how fucked up your brain gets when you're addicted to anything. And that the longer you go without it, the harder it is to resist and not be like "just this once" because this once turns into "okay things happen, I'll have it one last time today" and boom you're back in it, finding excuses and every day being the "last day" but it isn't. Ugh I'm just so mad, upset, idk what. And she even knows my weight has been stagnating a little for the past few weeks so I'm already demotivated and now this.

(just btw she's the kind of person that would say "nah you're fine, stop overreacting" even if you were dying, great example of me when I was child, breaking my arm, telling her how my arm hurt AND HER TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER AN ENTIRE WEEK. And we have free healthcare so cost wasn't a problem, it's just her never taking her children seriously, kids or adults)

[paramorearchived]

March 6, 2010

Transcript:

NZ -> Singapore.

 so, i was on the plane today. well, we all were. (we're in singapore now!). and being that we were sitting in business class, there were a lot of business men just hanging out, shipping champagne and laughing at things that i don't really understand. so, this business man is hanging with his other business friend and they're wearing the exact same outfit... only business man #2 is wearing his grey slacks so tight and high on his waist that his balls are like suffocating. and i can see this happening. like his pants are not leaving any room for my imagination. not that i would've wanted to imagine it in the first place. the worst part is that he is just standing right there, in my direct eyeline and i can't. stop. looking. it was a train wreck of manly horror.  maybe i should've just said something. honestly, i kinda felt like i had a right to. what a sight it was, you guys. i wish you all could've been there. 

in other news... haha... this tour has honestly done a million wonders for me. being in all these places and meeting people who live half a world (literally) away from where we're from. it's such a blessing to play these shows and see all of you out here. japan was incredible. from the shows, to the dinners and shopping trips, the sight seeing. we were able to work with our original promoter - from the first trip we ever took over there. so the whole thing just felt like one big party.  being able to play soundwave festival for the first time could not have been any better. our sideshows ruled. youmeatsix are always a blast to hang with... and the festivals were. massive. thanks to everyone who stood under the blistering sun all day to hang with us. i thought i would die on stage in perth. we made it though. honestly, i still don't get how zac puts on those shows and makes it all the way through playing as hard as he does. metal as hell, y'all.  i have to say, new zealand just about takes the cake. we had never been there, though, so maybe that's what it is. our friend rowan, from the jury & the saints, took us around to all of his favorite spots and some of us even stayed over at his place to watch movies and climb trees. you guys, i climbed the highest tree ever... i would show you the pics but i went swimming in the ocean with my blackberry - which has since died - and that's where all the photo proof is. 

(SIDE NOTE: Anne Hathaway is absolutely stunning, kill me.)

and now, here we are in Singapore for the first time! we were greeted by some crazy fans at the airport. sometimes it makes me so sad when we can't stay and hang. if we had a van and were in charge of driving it.. we'd make our own schedule. unfortunately, we get driven all over the place by folks that actually know where they're going in all these cities. so they make the rules. hahah, it's probably a good idea. we used to get lost every day touring in our van. anyways, i can't wait to just be on stage tomorrow and see how these shows are gonna go down. bet it will be unbelievable. 

i gotta run. think i'm gonna bug jeremy.  love you guys so much. 

ps. we saw so many of our friends over the past week... and we want you to listen to em and know how awesome they are. Here ya goooo - youmeatsix, The Jury & The Saints, Alexisonfire, Comeback Kid, Set Your Goals, Sunny Day Real Estate. there are plenty more but i'll save them for another time!

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[starshard17]

only one bed with anyone, it's a classic.

It is a classic yea...

And today we'll see what happens when you put the two sides together that are exact polar opposites 💚💙

"Alright everyone. We've got three rooms. That's two of us to one. It's time to figure out who's going where." Logan announced. The six of them were all stood near the elevator, bags and suitcases clutched in their hands.

As Logan spoke with everyone, Patton zoned out, looking at all the fancy decorations in the hotel. Fake plants that were colored in bright and unusual pigments. Paintings of the oddest things hung up on each wall. Bright white tables with a bunch of tiny glass trinkets set on them. Fancy orb lights strung from the high ceiling. He couldn't believe his eyes. He was going to spend vacation with his friends in this fancy place? Incredible.

"Patton? Patton are you listening? Hello?" Logan spoke, snapping his fingers in front of Patton's face. He tuned back into the conversation.

"Guess what Patty-Cake! We're roommates!" Remus cheered, grin wide and lop-sided. Patton felt his heart sink.

"What?" He barely squeaked out. He looked to see Virgil had immediately clung to Roman and that Janus was standing right beside Logan, looking at Patton and Remus intently. He hadn't been paying attention, and now he was stuck with literally the worst side he could've been paired with!

To say the least, Patton and Remus simply did not... mix.

The things Remus would say and think and do were all things Patton found quite repulsing. And no one objected to them being forced to share a room together? This trip would be a nightmare and a half with these two glued together!

"Don't look so glum sweet cheeks. It'll be a fun chance for us to bond!" Remus chirped, extending his hand out to Logan for the key to their room.

Patton liked bonding. Making friends felt great!

But there was nothing for him and Remus to bond over. They were opposites. Nothing aligned with them. They simply couldn't bond. It just wouldn't work!

Next thing Patton knew he was being dragged out of his thoughts.

Literally.

Remus had gripped his wrist, his nails lightly digging against Patton's skin. The Duke was full on dragging Patton towards their room. Patton hadn't even had the chance to say 'See ya later' to the rest of the sides before he was sprinting down the hallway to avoid losing his arm.

Then they stopped, causing Patton to slam against Remus' backside. His arms instinctively flew around Remus to keep himself from falling over.

"Woah hey... if you want to feel me up at least wait till we get inside the room." Remus joked, his words holding so much sexual intention behind them that Patton gagged, releasing Remus quickly and stepping away a good two or three steps.

"Chill out. I'm joking. Unless you don't want me to be." Remus spoke, pushing the door open and stepping into their room.

"In which case I was totally serious." The Duke said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows and doing a little shimmy. Patton covered his mouth. He felt like he was going to vomit. And he had a whole week's worth of this to deal with.

When Remus received zero response from Patton he blew a raspberry into the air and walked towards the bedroom section of their shared room.

Patton took a few minutes to recollect himself before stepping inside, relishing in the lively decor. The walls were soft blue shades and there bubbly paintings on each wall. On one wall there was a large TV and a set of cabinets underneath along with a minfridge.

"Wow..." Patton breathed out, running his fingertips against the smooth wall. He sat himself down on one of the brown leather couches, immediately sinking into the cushions.

The living room was so cozy. Maybe the aesthetic of the room would make up for the roommate.

"Hey Patty?" Remus' voice called, popping Patton's daydream and pulling him back to reality.

"Is something wrong Remus?" Patton answered. He noticed Remus' tone was a bit off when he had called. The moral side stood himself up from the couch and cautiously made his way towards the bed area.

As he stepped inside and looked around, any joy that he had felt before was drained from his entire being.

There was only one bed.

"Looks like we're sharing." Remus nodded solemnly, hand on his chin and lips pursed.

"No! I can't share a bed with you!" Patton shouted, slapping a hand over his mouth. He didn't usually have outbursts, but sometimes they spring onto him. Remus swiftly turned his head in Patton's direction.

"What other choice do we have? There's one bed. There's two of us. Trust me Patty-Cake it won't be that bad. I'll only touch you if you want me to." Remus smirked, voice suggestive and hot. Patton shook his head, dropping to the floor.

He couldn't do this.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Sooner than Patton would've liked, night came.

As Remus was changing in the bedroom, Patton had the bathroom occupied. He slipped his shirt on over his head and caught his eyes in the reflection of the mirror. He stepped closer, readjusting his glasses on his face.

"You can do this Patton..." He mumbled softly himself in the quietness of the bathroom. He rubbed his eyes a bit and took a long, deep, soothing breath before grabbing the door handle.

He pushed the door open and screamed at the sight before him. He slammed the door shut and locked it, sliding down to the floor and cupping mouth with his hand. He gripped his curls tightly in his other fist and took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. Sat on the bed was Remus. Completely naked. Patton would never be able to get the visual out of his head.

He shakily raised to his knees, then eventually managed to get back on his feet. He removed his glasses from his face and splashed his face with water from the sink.

He took another shallow breath before he heard a light knock on the bathroom door.

"Everything okay in there sweet cheeks?" Came Remus' voice. Patton sighed and dropped his elbows against the sink counter, hiding his face.

"Did I scare you? I know I look frightening but I didn't know I was that bad." The Duke spoke with a laugh.

Patton didn't answer. He glanced at the door, reaching a hand forward and slowly unlocking it.

He then opened the door, keeping his eyes up to avoid having to see anything again.

"Oh good you are okay!"

Not for long, Patton feared.

There was a thin line between this whole thing being okay and this being a hell site and a half and quite honestly it was teetering in the worse direction.

Patton just hoped he could manage to get through tonight.

Taglist : @nalidice , @sunflowersand-butterflies , @lost-in-thought-20

[kogatism]

I hate to be so negative in a time like this. Pride month just started, and I'm sure everyone is looking forward to Summer. However, I received some Earth shattering news.

As you all know, I have a cat named Mickey. He's the light of my life, my sunshine, my angel, my everything. I've considered him a son since I've had him. That said, I haven't had him for long. About 5 years ago is when I brought him home. He belonged to my bf at the time, but that bf was extremely abusive not just to me, but Mickey too. After he left, he tried to get Mickey back but I refused. Mickey had already become super attached to me and was actually terrified of him. Needless to say, I ended up keeping him.

He was in such horrible shape, because he was never taken to the vet. So he had a severe case of ear mites, wasn't neutered or micro-chipped. He also had a broken tooth. His upper left canine, it looked like it had been chipped somehow. I'm not sure what happened, but it's possible it's from being kicked in the face. I had witnessed my ex beating him on one occasion too, so it's very likely this was happening prior to me bringing him home.

Now Mickey wasn't a kitten when I received him. I actually don't know how old he is since my ex told me he was 13 but he did NOT have any indications of being that old. Plus he lied about fucking everything so I couldn't take his word for it. I assumed he was about 6 or 7 based on the condition of his teeth (besides that one chipped tooth)

Since then, I've made so many beautiful memories with him. He's seen me go through some really hard times of my life and he was always there. He was my shoulder to cry on. Whenever I'd get upset he'd pop up out of nowhere and make sure to give me lots of love and snuggles. I genuinely don't know where he came from, but he's quite literally an angel on Earth. One thing I know for sure is this cat loves me more than life itself, and he showed me what love is. I didn't know what love really was like. I have severe trust issues with people so no matter how much I'm told I'm loved there's still doubts. With him however? Animals don't lie, you know when they love you. I believe I'm just as important to him as he is to me.

That brings us to today. Or well, the last couple months. Beginning of April I noticed the upper left side of his face was really swollen. It was strange because it seemed to had happened overnight. He wasn't giving off any impression that he was in pain but I had a feeling it was dental related. I took a look at his teeth and noticed the upper left canine (the tooth that was chipped) was EXTREMELY loose. Like I could've pulled it out with my bare hands, but I didn't. We called the vet right away and they removed the tooth, and gave us some medicine. I gave him the medicine as instructed, and we brought him back a couple more times to make sure everything was okay, which it had seemed to. The swelling went down significantly, his breath wasn't bad anymore. It all seemed okay. Fast forward to last weekend, I noticed his face began to look really puffy again. His breath was also really bad like it was before the tooth had been pulled. Of course it concerned me, but we couldn't call the vet until Tuesday so I got onto a live chat with a vet to get any type of opinion on what I should do and what it may be. I was told it was probably an abcess that needed an operation to be drained and closed properly. Which is pretty extreme but for his comfort I was willing to do, that's when we took him in on Tuesday after calling. Upon further inspection they decided to put him in for surgery the next day (today) to have it cleaned out. They gave us medicine too to help fight off any infection and ease pain.

Little did I know when I sent him off to surgery, I'd receive the worst news of my life. I was of course worried about him, but I didn't think it could get any worse. I was wrong. My dad came home and when i went out to the hallway i saw he was on the phone, and my mom was standing there. The look on her face said it all. Something is wrong with Mickey. Also, I don't live with my mom so it was strange for her to be there. This is when i was told that what's in his upper lip is a tumor. Meaning he has some form of cancer. It's also an aggressive cancer, which would be extremely difficult to treat and also very expensive. They were trying to get a sample to send off to see exactly what type of cancer it is but there was no luck in retrieving that sample. He's still alive, but we don't know how much longer he has.

To hear this news, it feels like my whole world is falling apart. I feel like life is punishing me for something. Even then, why him? Why my baby? He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to be in pain, and doesn't deserve to suffer. I didn't ever think that I would have to be thinking about the end of his life right now. I was thinking for many more years... but here we are. It truly feels like losing a child. To me he is no different than a child. He was my biggest reason to keep living. I struggle with su***dal thoughts, so whenever I begin to think about it I think about it I would think about Mickey to help me come back and be like okay I can't do this my baby needs me.

But what now? How am i going to be able to cope with this... and we got to bring him home so I'm able to keep snuggling him and loving him for as long as he's here and for that I am grateful. However I don't want to put him through too much pain, and I don't know what to expect or how much longer he will have. He could pull through on a miracle but we're more than likely not going to go through with chemo or any of that just because it's so expensive, also really stressful and painful for him. He doesn't deserve to suffer at my expense.

I don't know what else to say... other than... please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He's such a beautiful soul, and I just don't want him to be in pain anymore. I can only hope he heals but I can't get my hopes up, so I just want him to be comfortable. If he's gonna go I'm gonna be there. Will it be the worst day of my life? Absolutely, but this cat genuinely was an angel sent to me. I was his angel. I love you so much Mickey, you'll always be my special guy no matter what.

I'm really sorry again for this negativity, but I hope you can all understand.

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plizetsky x reader)

(part five)

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Masterlist

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(One week later)

He groaned, still trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes even after breakfast. The sun was annoyingly bright today and the crowds chatting along the streets became a loud buzzing in his ears. They walk along shore at a smaller street where the typical fisherman has been standing, even years from now since Yuri saw him last. With a face mask up to his eyes and his hoodie up, it also came to be exceedingly hot underneath his disguise. Sweaty again.

In front of him walked Yuuri and Victor, sheering for him to hurry up meanwhile Victor snapped some photos behind his head on him and (Y/n). 'A selfie to remember' he said. Though the sour face of (Y/n) was far from something anyone would like to remember. Terrifying.

Right. Why? Yuri didn't exactly hit it off at its peak this morning with (Y/n) as his roommate. The cold shoulder hitting him like a slap in the face grew even larger every time he tried talk her back to normal state. A 'what's the matter with you? Stop being a drag!' Wasn't gonna get him an answer so far. Though, Yuri found himself surprised that he even made an effort into talking with her in this mood. One week with her and he's already softening up? Not great. He can't treat her as if she isn't a stranger to him, nice or not. Even if she always came at the late ending hours of his practicing at the rink and greeted him with a late snack after training. Star-shaped apple slices and a smoothie. He found it weird the first time and he still does. Every morning and every late evening because Yakov happened to mention that apples were Yuri's favorite fruit.

And this morning? Maybe he could actually admit that he screwed up. It probably could've gone better if he hadn't stolen Magnolia from her... Long story short, she was asleep with the cat in her arms and Yuri sneaked out a makeshift toy to lure him over. (Y/n) quickly noticed that Yuri was now the person cuddling the cat and she tried to call him over for his morning brush with a happy chirping sound. But Yuri had held Magnolia still when he tried to go until the cat was like 'meh whatevs' and went back to sleep in Yuri's arms. He knew now afterwards that it was already a little bit much to hold the cat back but the worst part wasn't past yet. No. The worst part was when he said 'He wants to be with me, not you, you clingy hag' and 'Maybe if you weren't so stubborn and tacky all the time he would be sprinting to you this moment instead of cuddling with his savior.' When she hadn't responded well to his words some unknown force told him to push it harder. So kept on pushing at her limits with spiteful manners and comments. He can't really understand why he'd said that now afterwards. All that came out meanwhile Yuri was still half asleep from past day's exhaustion, and he hadn't yet realized that he probably should filter the way he talk to his coach, nonetheless the,, he wouldn't say idol,, but- Nonetheless the acquaintance she is. Though he couldn't stand her. How itching and irritated he felt whenever she made her own sour looks. Isn't she supposed to be happy sunshine or what? Just get over it already, it was just an insult anyway.

But it was clear that (Y/n) took the insult to heart and has been doing so since then. At breakfast, he had received a bowl of starshaped cut apples put down harshly in front of him at the table. That along with blueberry pancakes. Why she was the one making breakfast, he didn't understand. But it had certainly not been unbearable to eat. No the opposite really. The entire Katsuki household was there along with them and everyone had been gulping it down like starved hounds. But the thing really throwing Yuri off was the fact that his appleslices were the only ones being but into starshapes. Just that she took the extra time even though or because she was upset at him?

Yuri gazed at the girl's direction as he thought of the event. 'So very unnecessary' he thought. Was it some twisted joke he didn't quite get or a revenge he didn't see coming? Because except for the apples, she had been totally snappy with him since they left for the unknown adventure Victor had described it as. And she wouldn't really have made that extra effort out of kindness judging on her mood today.

(Y/n) was very keen not to glance at him just one bit this morning since that breakfast. And when Yuri made a huge deal out of it afterwards, Victor had took him aside and whispered into his ear; 'There will come days where she won't put up with your bullshit anymore and today seems like such a situation. I don't know what you did to cause that reaction because it's quite rare. But I recommend you lay off and let her cool down on her own.' His words had been a sense of advise with a hint of bitterness in it.

Just minutes later he had gathered us four and announced that he would be taking them all somewhere to cleanse our minds and gather our thoughts. He hadn't really understood why all four would go there but that's when (Y/n) decided it was time to announce a pretty important details she almost withheld from him until now. Apparently the entire reason they chose to do this whole coaching in Japan was because she had taken Yuuri as her apprentice as well. It all seemed relevant of course. Why else would Yuri be here right now and not with her back in Russia? But it made him feel uneasy and let down for some stupid reason. Why she apparently thought it was much more important to teach Yuuri than him since they were in Japan right now. He's always gotta be the favorite even though Yuri won gold and proved himself to be better than the piglet. Victor already chose him. And clearly (Y/n) did too. But she made him believe that she came here only to coach him.

He didn't understand anything. He didn't want her coaching, didn't want to hear anything she had to say. She wasn't a real coach even. He certainly didn't want to share a room with her and he didn't want to feel relieved at the sight of her at the rink yesterday, coming to his rescue like that. He just wanted her to stop talking so much but now he couldn't stand the silence she was giving him.

Couldn't she just get her shit together?

"Ta-daaa! We're here!" Victor's shout made Yuri snap back to reality at the beat of a second. It took him a moment to understand the building the man was waving towards but soon he remembered the experiences he had there.

"No- nonono! I'm not going through that hellish session again. No damned waterfalls and no hitting me with a stick!" Yuri turned on his heels but was grabbed by the collar of his neck by a pouting Victor. (Y/n) who was clearly new to the subject gave Yuuri a hesitant look but Victor wasn't going down.

"Come on, it will be great for everyone. And I promise no hitting this time!"

'This time.' He didn't believe it one bit. He knew it was just an attempt to get him through the doors. Once in, no turning back. But if there was going to be hitting, he was secretly hoping that it would not be (Y/n) as the one doing it.

"Still no. There's no way you're getting me through those doors! Never am I ever standing under a waterfall again!"

...

The rapid flow of the water forcibly threatening to push him forwards was as cold as he remembered it. Screw the hitting with sticks, this just felt like someone rapidly slapping him across the back over and over. At least the water could've been warm. What was the deal with that anyway? He knew exactly why going here was kept a secret from him. They would never have caught him if he knew before. Now Yuri is standing in the middle, unable to escape. A quiet but intimidating (Y/n) who hasn't spoken up for hours and Yuuri who seems to actually be taking this whole thing seriously. Then there's the big question. Where is Little blondie Rasputin in the picture. The answer is right in front of him in a corner of the other side of the room. In a bubble bath taking it easy. He said that he'd be making sure we'd concentrate on opening up our minds and he'd tell us if he noticed otherwise. Yuri believed none of it. He just doesn't want to be here himself. Cause why was (Y/n) doing it if both the coaches aren't in on it. She's already in touch with herself and doesn't need it. Part of him guesses that she was participating on her own terms for some reason.

'This isn't working. I'm literally standing here thinking about everything and anything until time passes!' He thought. And...

He made the mistake of looking to his right. (Y/n) was standing close beside him with closed eyes. He was going to close his eyes as well but then he noticed how soft her skin looked. Like, all the wrinkles caused by her constant grumpy face were flattened out. Her mouth hung low and her lips were slightly parted. That made him notice her slow breathing making her chest rise and fall in a nice rhythm. Even though the water hitting his scalp shouted angrily in his ears, he was somehow able to here her melodic breathing. She was doing this the right way. And she looked completely relaxed. Almost asleep.

He kept on listening to her breathing and prayed that she wouldn't open her eyes right this moment. If so, she'd probably have realized right away how long exactly he had been staring at her.

He brushed it off and adverted his gaze, closed his eyes shut. It wasn't anything more than that. He had to get to know her at some point and her striking eyes were always too intimidating for him. He would always look away to feel less stripped of his soul in front of her. It was almost the first time he really could study her features up close, and without her knowing. (D-Did that sound weird-? anyway.)

He couldn't see her anymore but her light breath could still be heard. A part of it made Yuri think of music when he listened to it. He'll focus on that. Mach the breathing to his own.

Everything she did held a steady rhythm to it, unintentionally probably. The music was so much more than just the beautiful voice she had, but it consumed her entire being. Maybe that's why it felt so real on stage.

Does he have to let the skating consume him too? What if he loses control of what he's doing? Starts doing a different choreography or hits the wall again? What would happen if he just let go?

"I think we're done for today. Great job guys! You too Yuri!"

Well, he would never find out because he could never let that happen. Ever. If he doesn't hold control, then what does he have.

Yuuri and (Y/n) came back to reality and stepped out of the fall. Yuri followed short behind and watched the droplets of water running down the back of the girl in front of him. Her shoulders were much less tense than before they begun their session.

'If she thinks she's her to help me let go of all control and fly off the surface of the earth, then I'm sorry. For your coaching will have been in vain.'

...

Yuri was the last one out of the showers and was alone in the locker room as the piglet had already finished before him. He put one the clothes he came in since he came unprepared and set off to the main entrance. To his surprise, he found (Y/n) leaned against a nearby wall just outside the path leading the separate changing rooms apart. 'She's been waiting for me?' She still looks stern but this time Yuri's directly hit in the face by it. She's not ignoring him anymore. Her eyes are as piercing as always but not with excitement or content as usual. Yuri has to turn his head. The feeling's too much.

He walks beside her this time as well. Not a few feet behind like the way they came here.

Victor's tall back was seen outside the building through the glass doors and the two of them headed out. Yuuri was there too but they weren't alone. A large crowd of screaming teenagers as well as adults were swooning over the two skaters. Reporters and journalists were at the front struggling to ask the pair questions meanwhile guards from the center nearby held them all back. At the corner of his eye (Y/n) was turning slightly pale of the sudden screams that roared as they arrived together. As soon as Yuri was noticed the same reaction came for the second time and he joined in on the surprise. His first instinct was to run and hope none in the crowd ran faster than him. But is seemed like (Y/n) sensed his intentions before he did. A firm and calming hand was placed upon his head and as what- a warning? A threat? He looked at her and she smiled. Not to him, but to the crowd.

"Is that (Y/n) and Yuri Plisetsky?"

"Yes! But why are they in Japan? And together?"

"Aww look! They look so cute together!"

A couple pictures were taken of the two of them and Yuri was as stunned by the girl's hand as well as her warm presence towards her fans. He was even too caught up to snap her hand away.

"How long have you known each other?"

"Yuri YURI! What were you doing in there with the Aubade duchess of (nationality)?" Duchess? Right. One of her many titles created by her fan base. It's pretty funny. Why a duchess? Why not a queen or an empress? Yuri wasn't the one to complain though. He was called the Russian punk.

"(Y/n), any reason you're in Japan? Any hot news you'd like to share with us?" The woman asking leaned over the fighting arms of the guard and winked playfully at the two of them. He saw (Y/n) getting visibly  uncomfortable at the suggestive question and she stuttered, trying to come up with something smooth and contained for the reporter to use in her article. Yuri was just pissed off at how rudely this woman got all up in their private life like that. He felt like it had been put upon (Y/n) as her responsibility alone to answer that and that just made him angrier.

But the back of the tall Russian male hiding him from camera views stopped the salty defensive words he almost spit out.

"Of course! It's about time to announce anyway. On the behalf of myself and Yakov Feltsman, we're proud to announce that (Y/n) (l/n) will spend her time in Japan as coach for our competing skaters; Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuri Katsuki, in their preparations for this year's Grand Prix senior division!" Victor's worlds were happily announced to the audience and the next moment all hell of a screaming mess broke loose. The reporters rushed sideways to call their firms about the news and the guards almost failed to hold the fighting fans at bay. It all was a mess already. It went from being super private and secretive to Victor dropping the act without warning and soon the whole world would know in just a couple of minutes.

Shit.

A/N; Aaand another chapter! I have so fun writing these and it's almost like therapy session for me too:') no waterfalls though. It seems like Yuri's starting to warm up to (Y/n) right? Well... Baby steps;) What do you think will happen in next chapter? Let me know what you think!

[elviraaxen]

Chrompoised - a retrospective, if you will

Hello I am back from instagram I'm gonna post more here now. I just wanna blabber abt my life and I'm on mobile so please excuse me not being able to add a "read more" 😃

Last time I was here for reals for reals I was like 21-22 really mentally ill and studying biology and then worked as a substitute teacher for a bit because I quit school due to my health being too bad.

Now I'm 25, went to art school and graduated, and have been diagnosed with adhd, I've been confirmed autistic, and I'm on meds, which is super cool 👍✨ really getting used to that Adult Mature Brain! Really wish I could've used it earlier lol.

I'm mostly writing this because I had a minor break down just now because I was looking through my old convos that I had with people in 2016-2017 on here, and I realized that I don't remember a single person, conversation or who I even was (seriously, my opinions man 😵)! That was scary and I've realized that it's one of the worst parts of my adhd, my memory is absolutely garbage, my emotional dysregulation is really bad some days, and I'm really sorry to anyone whose conversations or usernames I've forgotten because my brain just decided that "nope this is not useful" and discarded. And those people who I've randomly lashed out on because that day I was being particularly angry over something minor. I honestly feel really mean. If I could I would try to reach out again but it's literally been years and I have too much anxiety regarding rekindling my old memories because it makes me realize how much I've forgotten. Which is probably about 90% of everything that wasn't extremely memorable. Like, biology? What was that? I don't even remember my classmates names 😃

...

Another discovery I've made about myself is how I always seemed(maybe still do idk) to end up leaving friend groups and stuff like servers, because my brain would make up reasons to leave due to me having REALLY bad rejection sensitive dysphoria (adhd-related). It was rarely the other party's fault, and I've probably left up to 5 separate discord servers on different occasions because my dysphoria made it so bad that I had to pull out of everything so that "they wouldn't have the chance to kick me out first". The same thing would happen to closer friendships, where I would make up a reason to leave them, because my brain was convinced that they were secretly plotting to hurt me, and so we (as in my brain and I) had to run NOW before it was too late. Like yikes, I had no idea that was such a prevalent and destructive part of my life until maybe a few months ago! Really wish I knew that earlier so that I didn't burn so many bridges. I would probably still be friends with more than one or two people from the voltron fandom if I knew that about myself back then 😅 but oh well. It's been like 3 years, so it would be weird of me to just pop by like "hi. Sorry for being a pissy baby I'm neurodivergent 🥺 surprise!"

...

Idk i feel awfully nostalgic in the worst way today, probably because it's new years eve and I'm alone due to Covid (by choice, mind you), and I miss my friends. I haven't seen them since this summer when Covid wasn't as bad where I lived. And this app is making me think back on the person I was 4 years ago when I was questioning my will to live, and who I've developed into today and that all I can think about is how fun it is to make art and learn about art and how much more potential I have now that I'm medicated!!

Like happy fucking new year's y'all. what a ride. I have no idea what this post was. I love you, brush 2020 off your shoulders, and see you tomorrow for 2021 ok? Ok bye ❤️