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so-much-for-the-seashells · 4 months ago

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The Strawberry, The Sheriff, and the Cartel Sheriff Beau Arlen (Big Sky) x PI!Reader

Chapter One: Welcome to Big Sky, Mt!

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~Before we Begin~

A/N: this is part one of an ongoing series. If you like the story and would like to be part of a tag list: please let me know, either through dm or comments. Still looking for a beta reader, dm if interested! :) Icons are by me! As always, any and all interaction is appreciated!

I really love Big Sky, even for all its faults. And to be honest, I was genuinely hoping for a season four. Since we aren’t getting that, I’m writing this. I’m no expert on PI/Detective work, but I’m doing my best. This is a work of fiction after all.

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil anything, so I’m not going to give any background and let the story speaks for itself. :)

Content/Content Warning: Nothing too crazy yet, but I’d rather a 16+ audience on this series for what might happen later. References to drugs and kidnapping. Cursing. Canon typical violence will occur.

~Without further ado, Welcome to Big Sky, Mt!~

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Who commits real crimes in Montana, anyway? I guess I’d always figured that there wasn’t enough of us to do so in the first place. But, as it turns out, no place is too small for shitty people. Go figure.

Part of me has always hoped for a big case. Something high stakes, something that might actually make me think. I had always been resigned to the throes of missing pets and cheating partners. Maybe a B&E or a purse-snatching here and there to spice things up. Sure, those are still crimes, but a kidnapping tied to a cartel?

Now we’re talking.

Wait. That sounds bad. Of course I feel bad for the victims, I’m not a jackass. It’s just that this is where things in my career finally get interesting. Where if I solve the case, I’m solving something bigger than Whitefish. Which would really make me feel better about myself, if I’m being honest. I don’t really feel like I’ve made a difference with any the cases I’ve solved. Sure, it’s good to see Mary-Jane get her cat back or tell Kathy-Lee that James was in fact cheating on her and seeing her so liberated after breaking up with him. But none of that is bigger than Whitefish, where I’ve been since I was born. I needed something important, something big.

And this certainly is that something big.

Something big enough that I’ve had to travel almost seven hours from my hometown to Big Sky. Bertha, my truck, needed to get out of the house anyway. But seven hours… damn. Especially considering Whitefish could be renamed ‘Small Town’- I don’t think I’d had driven more than two hours till then.

Something big enough that literal drug cartels were involved.

No one would expect Montana to have so many ties to cartels. It’s so random, right? I mean, who even thinks about Montana in the first place aside from hikers and outdoorsy people? I know I wouldn’t if I didn’t live here. But I guess that’s the draw for these weird mob families. There’s not much of a radar to be on up here.

Big Sky had barely cleared out the Bhullar family maybe six months ago. A friend of mine, a fellow PI named Cassie Dewell, had told me all about it. She had been involved; her friend Undersheriff Jenny Hoyt had been one of the major players in taking them down. But in the end, as I understood it, the family had more or less taken themselves down. Serves them right.

But when one pot empties you’ve got to fill it with something new, I guess. That’s where I come in.

See, I’m a PI because I couldn’t be bothered with the how rule-abiding proper detectives have to be. Rules don’t get things done in the justice system, in my opinion. I’ve seen too many people either go down or get off when they shouldn’t because of it.

Rules are good guidelines, but just that- guidelines. Something to guide you, but not something that’s always right. If you want to get things done, you need a little more independence.

But with that independence comes cases that folks in the Sheriff’s Department wouldn’t even have come across their desks. Like the cheating, or the missing pets. So be it: I get paid more; and anyway, sometimes the “dumb” stuff is what’s best to get you ready for the “good” stuff.

María Almería had been the one to reach out to me. Her and Felix, her husband; as well as her three kids, Anna, Josue and Carolina; are neighbors of mine. They’re good people, and I’m pretty close with the family. I like them a lot, from the parents to the kids.

Usually I get hunches about people- its why I’m good at my job. When Kathy-Lee asked me to investigate her husband, I could’ve told her off the bat that he was cheating. Not because I’d explicitly seen him, but for whatever reason I could read it on him. It’s like a sixth sense.

That sense must’ve been dormant every time I went to the Almerías’, though, because I had never once gotten a bad vibe about Felix. María’s husband was always kind, a good father- his kids would attest to that, a good husband- María never once had anything bad to say about him, and he actually carried his weight around the house. Cleaned dishes, did laundry… yes, the bar is low, but he is certainly better than most of the fish in the world’s hellhole of a sea. Not to mention that he was always genuine: never a bad word about anyone or anything, not even about cockroaches (those damned things are my mortal enemy). And you could see that genuineness his eyes, which are usually what gives someone’s story away if you know how to look at them.

Honestly, he was the last person I was expecting to go missing. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of him having enemies. With most people in cases like these, there’s at least one aspect about them that makes their disappearance make sense. Maybe it’s in how they act, or maybe it’s in the people they were most often around. I could rule out the first one: Felix has never had any senility issues, nor would be one to be prone to just run away from his family with no explanation. But that leaves the second option, the harder one.

When you know your client and the person that’s gone missing, things are immediately both easier and harder. Easier in that you know the client, and they know and trust you. Sure, that’s not every case, but in this case I was 99% sure that María nor her young children had anything to do with his disappearance. You’ve always got to have that slight doubt though, even if it’s just one percent. That’s detective work rule #1.

But in the same breath, it also makes it harder- the expectations and the stakes are higher. And also, you realize just how much you don’t know about people.

I had exhausted my every resource in Whitefish for a week, but there was absolutely no trace of Felix. María had even called him in missing to me before she could to the police- damn the wait 48 hours rule- and yet I still couldn’t get the jump on the blues.

The story was that María had taken her daughters clothes shopping while Josue was staying over at a friend’s for a sleepover. When they came home, Felix was gone. However, his phone was sitting on the table and his wallet and keys still on their kitchen counter, and the idea of him not taking any of those things was preposterous. He was one to always have them on him. That was why she called him in as missing after he didn’t return for a few hours. Her and her kids’ alibis checked out with both me and eventually the Whitefish Sheriff’s Department.

While researching Felix I had come across the name Bobby Ramirez. They had been in a news article together, set in Big Sky. And something about this Bobby, even from the pictures, didn’t seem right. His smile was just a little too crooked, his eyes betraying something stronger than mischief.

When I had asked María about his next of kin, she had said there was no one. But this Bobby looked so similar to Felix, to the point that I just had to ask. Apparently Bobby Ramirez’s real name is Roberto Almería, and he’s Felix’s estranged brother who lives in Big Sky. Never would’ve guessed.

Apparently the brothers had had a terrible relationship because, in María’s words, Bobby is “a nightmare.” I didn’t really get much more information than that, but the look in her eyes told me more than enough, along with the fact that she was visibly trembling. And the last time she saw him, before she even had kids, he had talked about going into a lucrative business (presumably drugs- fentanyl, maybe?) and promptly dropped off the grid. He’d asked Felix to join him and he had given a hard no, and I guess the falling out was so bad that the kids didn’t even know they had an uncle on their dad’s side. Once she had even gotten the feeling that Bobby could be involved in this, she begged me to back off. Even though her beloved husband was at risk, she begged me to back off. But I couldn’t: this family had shown so me far too much kindness in the past for me to just give up on Felix.

Bobby Ramirez apparently owns a repair shop in Big Sky. Bob’s Motors. Super creative, I know. It’s been open for about ten years- probably since around the time of the falling out. But from the shitty reviews online I have a good feeling it’s a front, since it’s still open, and the best lead I’ve got. María had mentioned that Bobby was in with a weird crowd, and that he was friends with Kory Jefferson. That’s where the presumed drug involvement comes in.

Kory, or KJ as he’s known on the streets, was and is bad news. He’s managed to weasel his way out of at least five arrests despite being a part of multiple drug cases. You know how? By being a CI for the police against his own employers in exchange for full immunity. It’s honestly impressive how many times he’s gotten away with the stunt, but I guess people wrongly figured him to be unimportant. Bobby being tied to him and Felix going missing just as KJ was buying mass property in Big Sky… it’s too much of a coincidence not to investigate.

Hence, the seven hour drive in the truck I’ve had fifteen years. Got it at the end of high school, a gift from my dad. But she was only supposed to last ten years. Emphasis on supposed to, cause my intention is to run her until she drops dead.

Thankfully my dad was a mechanic and he taught me how to fix just about any problem with the engine and the car in general. So, just like a truck that’s actually within its warranty, the only thing I usually have to worry about is me being a dumbass.

And a dumbass I am.

I had wisely decided to test the limits of the infamous last bar of gas- look, I only had to stop once so I was thinking maybe I could make it.

I thought wrong.

“Whoops,” is what I most definitely did not say when my car actually stopped just a few miles beyond the “Welcome to Big Sky, Mt!” sign. What I really said was a string of profanities so colorful and vulgar that I genuinely would rather not repeat them. I had smacked the hazards button, and then stepped outside and kicked the tire with enough force to almost break my toe, because one dumb decision wasn’t enough for me that day.

So yeah, that’s about where we are right now. I’m standing outside of my car with one hand on my hip and the other holding my phone, weighing my options. The nearest gas station is naturally twenty miles away, and one thing’s for sure is that I’m no marathoner. It would probably take me until tomorrow to get there. On the other hand, I could do the normal thing and call a tow truck. But if there’s anything my frugal mother taught me, it’s that you shouldn’t pay for anything unless you absolutely have to. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but it’s sort of ingrained in me, and in this instance, I don’t really want to call a skeevy tow trucker.

Of course; there’s always the third, very rational option: I turn into the Hulk and push the truck. Obviously that’s the most plausible of the three.

Just as I’m getting ready to be a normal person and figure out a towing service to call does a sign of life appear. Up until now, somehow, literally nobody had passed through this road. It’s another truck, burgundy and bulky.

I wave, my face still stuck in a scowl as the driver approaches. It rolls to a halt near me on the opposite side of the road, before the hazards flash and the driver steps out.

“Car troubles, I’m assuming?” a strong Texan drawl greets me.

“You’re assuming correctly,” I smile sarcastically, taking in the stranger. He’s handsome, classically so, and he sure does fill out those Wranglers. Looks straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie, sans the cowboy hat.

“What seems to be the issue?” he cocks his head cordially, taking a step closer. Normally I’d be one to back away, but I don’t have a bad feeling about this guy. He’s wearing sunglasses, so I can’t read his eyes, but something tells me I don’t have to.

“Ran out of gas,” I mumble, more than a little embarrassed to be admitting it out loud.

“Hey, we’ve all been there,” he assures me. “Do you want me to take you to get gas?”

“I don’t usually step into stranger’s trucks,” I tell him warily. As kind as he seems I can never be too sure. Ever.

“Well if it helps any, I’m the Sheriff around these parts.” He pulls his jacket to reveal more of his belt, showing off his Sheriff’s badge pinned to it. He taps it once, for emphasis. Oh, wait, this must be… “Beau Arlen,” he introduces, interrupting my thoughts. He outstretches a hand and I shake it. His hand is huge compared to mine, callused but still soft somehow.

“Your reputation precedes you, Sheriff Arlen,” I tell him, letting go of his hand.

“That so?” It’s endearing how he perks up at that.

“I’m friends with Cassie Dewell,” I explain.

“Oh! Cass is the best! How do you know her?”

“I’m a PI- we all know each other.”

“Huh, y’don’t say.”

“What, you sheriffs aren’t like that?”

“Can’t say we are.”

“Shame,” I say melodramatically. He chuckles.

“Can’t all be PI’s, now can we?”

“True that.”

“Soo, that ride?” he tilts his head towards his truck.

“Yes, thank you,” I say sincerely.

“Anytime.” I follow him back over the middle line of the road to his truck, where he opens the door for me and offers an arm to help me step up. Huh, chivalry. Refreshing.

He stars his truck and drives a little down the road to make a u-turn before presumably heading towards the nearest gas station

“So what brings you to Big Sky?” he asks, making small talk.

“A case, actually… it’ll probably be on your radar soon enough. I’m thinking cartel, not a hundred percent sure yet.” I decide to keep the details to myself; there’s just too much at stake here.

“Another cartel? In this county? Y’know the last one ended with the boy killing his pops. And the pops had left the kid for dead too. Not to mention that the daughter was a pain in our ass, moonlighting as a real estate agent… but don’t get Hoyt started on that Tonya ‘cause she still can’t stand the sight of her… sorry, I’m ramblin,’” there’s a faint blush on the apples of his cheeks, and it’s adorable. But frankly I don’t mind his chatter, he’s nice to listen to. I like how he gets lost in his own stories.

“No worries, I like listening,” I shrug. My dad always said ‘listening lets you hear the things you wouldn’t’a heard if you weren’t.’ It’s sort of a ‘no shit’ phrase, but it’s true.

“There’s a first- Cass and Jenny like to get on me for talking too much,” he muses, no offense in his voice.

“That’s ’cause they don’t know ‘too much.’ I once had a client who told me his entire life story from birth to present day,” I reminisce, not even hyperbolizing. “I learned all about the std he got from a prostitute back in the 60s at Woodstock, and about his five wives: Maryanne, Georgia, Gina, Kevin, and Sade.”

“Kevin?” he laughs incredulously, taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at me.

“Yep. That was during the eighties though, so apparently it doesn’t make him gay,” I laugh, knowing how ridiculous it sounds.

“Wait, what was the STD?”

“Chlamydia,” I answer, without missing a beat.

“Wow, you have a good memory, huh?”

“Just for cases.” Which is true: in my daily life I would probably forget my head if it wasn’t attached to the rest of my body. I genuinely couldn’t tell you what I ate yesterday, but I do know that at 11:25 am I booked the motel I’ll be staying at. You know why I know that? Because I had just made the KJ break. See?

“That’s damn useful in your line of work,” he compliments.

“Yeah.” We ride in silence for a little bit because my dumb ass can’t hold a conversation. It’s not my fault that my only friends are my mom. Well, and Cassie Dewell, I guess, but I don’t see her all that often.

“Okay, so the accent- Texas?” I ask. Trying to bring back the conversation.

“Born and raised,” he confirms, emphasizing his drawl. I smile at the effort. I like his drawl, it compliments the deep and roughness of his voice.

“Cowboy country, nice,” I say.

“Hey, not all of us are cowboys!” he defends playfully.

“The first thing I thought when I saw you was ‘cowboy,’” I tell him matter-of-factly.

“Touché,” he laughs. “Truth be told I was literally raised on a ranch, so I can’t really be talking. Y’know, I had a really nice dog named Juniper. She herded the cattle, while I would pretend to “help.” By “help” I mean stand towards the side, scared of getting stomped on cause I weighed little more than a plastic bag from the grocery store.” More stories- I have a feeling he could write a book.

“Puberty must’ve hit you like a truck,” I mused, referring to the last part of his story.

“That or the gym,” he laughs.

“You a gym rat, Sheriff?”

“More or less,” he takes one hand off the steering wheel to flex his jacket-covered bicep. I wolf whistle, and he laughs. He’s a very large man, from his stature to his statuesque physique.

“Is there even a gym around here? I feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere, and I’m from fucking Whitefish,” I joke, referring to the fact that the only signs of life we’ve encountered are the gorgeous trees bordering the open road.

“Preaching to the choir,” he smiles.

“So, why’d you stick around, then? I heard you were just an acting sheriff,” I inquire, wondering why the cowboy-or anyone, for that matter- would want to stay here.

“I’ve got my ghosts in Houston,” his voice turns subtly melancholic, telling me not to pry. So I don’t, knowing the feeling. “But back to your question, there is a gym,” his tone returns back to its lightheartedness.

“It’s abandoned, isn’t it.”

“Well, there’s me. And uh, me. And sometimes Denise, who I think just wants an excuse to see my ass,” he laughs.

“Denise Brisbane? From Dewell and Hoyt?” I only know the name, nothing more.

“Yeah, she’s sweet- she cooks for me too, even though I’m a grown ass man.”

“Someone’s got a fan club,” I tease.

“Population one,” he retorts.

“Well maybe I’ll see you or you and Denise there at some point.”

“I’d like that… hey, you’re not joining the fan club are you?” he raises a brow from behind his sunglasses.

“In your dreams, Sheriff,” we both smile, and sit back for a second, the silence less awkward this time, at least for me.

“Y’can call me Beau, y’know. If you want to, anyway,” he tells me, breaking the half a second of quiet.

“Mk, Beau it is.” I like the way his name feels coming out of my mouth. And what a fitting name it is… he is objectively gorgeous.

“Hey, I just realized I never got yours,” he says suddenly.

“Huh? My what?” I say confused. Look, the road trip’s got me exhausted.

“Your name,” he clarifies.

“Oh. It’s Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

“Y/N- that’s a really nice name,” he compliments.

“Thanks,” I can’t help but be flattered.

“Where’s it from?”

“My dad- it was the name of some book character.”

“Cool! That’s a lot more creative than how my kid got named,” he laughs.

“You have a kid?” I ask, mildly surprised. Not that I think he’d be a bad dad after the half hour of knowing him, but just because since I don’t have kids I don’t usually expect people my age to either.

“Mhm. Emily- she takes after her mom, though.”

“You’re married?” I don’t see a ring, that’s the only reason I’m asking.

“I was.” There’s that melancholy tone again… something tells me there’s more to this cordial cowboy than meets the eye.

“Well in any case, Emily’s a pretty name for what I’m sure is a beautiful daughter,” I say, changing the subject.

“You callin’ me handsome?” he teases.

“All I’m going to say is that your mama was real on the nose with the name… Beauregard.” I decide to mix the compliment a little bit.

“You really think that’s my name?”

“No,” I confess, giggling.

“Good, I was hopin’ I didn’t come across as a”-he shudders comedically-“Beauregard.”

“Cmon, it’s not the worst name,” I chide.

“Well it’s certainly far from the best,” he retorts, and I shake my head with a smile. “Alright, we’re coming up on it now.”

I look up ahead, taking in the sight of this gas station that’s literally the only building in sight. It’s a bit on the dinghy side, half of the letters in the neon sign don’t work, so it says “De Ass Ton” instead of Del’s Gas Station. Go figure for this town.

But wait…

“What the fuck?” we both say in unison, taking in the sight before us.

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Until Part Two, dear reader! <3

#beau arlen #beau arlen x reader #beau arlen x you #beau arlen x female reader #beau arlen x y/n #beau arlen fanfiction #big sky #big sky show #Jensen Ackles #fanfic #ongoing series #hehe #jensen ackles characters #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction

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judgeanon · 3 months ago

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It Sure Has Been a Wild Couple of Days to be a Lady Shiva Fan

(Art by Skylar Partridge)

So after only showing up for a backup story in DETECTIVE COMICS a few months ago and for a few pages in the last issues of BATGIRLS back in January, turns out that Lady Shiva is gonna be a major part of not one, but two different series come November. Putting my thoughts under the jump 'cause they might be long:

First, there's an all-new BATGIRL ongoing written by Tate Brombal and drawn by Takeshi Miyazawa. I'm not really familiar with either of them, but I'm gonna try to check some of their work in the weekend. As for the plot:

When a deadly group of assassins shows up to kill Cassandra Cain, Lady Shiva must come to the rescue, and they’re forced to put their complicated past aside and work together as mother and daughter to ensure they make it out alive. Unfortunately, things are never as easy as they seem, and Batgirl must embark on a jaw-dropping, martial-arts filled adventure in her quest for truth and justice…and revenge?! This is a Batgirl unlike any other so don’t miss the opportunity to dive into the psyche of one of Gotham City’s deadliest fighters, while exploring her deep and complex relationship with her mother.

Here's the thing: while I am overjoyed that after Bryan Hill's OUTSIDERS we've pretty much exorcised the idea of Shiva as a zealous, card-carrying member of the League of Assassins, I've been a little bothered by how literally every single big Shiva appearance afterwards has revolved around Cass. Even in that weird short stint leading a new Birds of Prey team, her motivation was somehow gaining Cass' trust for... reasons. So I'm glad Shiva's no longer an LoA flunky, but I'm concerned with how she seems so tied at the hip with Cass -- especially since Cass does get to have stories that don't involve Shiva at all.

But at the same time, I do think there's a lot of meat on that bone, meat that, in my eye, nobody has really sank their teeth in yet. Hill tried but he was working within a team book, and Cloonan and Conrad just sorta teased it. This one, however, feels like a story about Shiva and Cass built from the ground up, with all the room necessary for some actual development from the two. This is them not as a subplot or as a tease for future stories, but as The Story. And while that may go in a bunch of different ways, I'm definitely interested to see what way this will go.

Annnd then there's Tom King and Ryan Sook's BLACK CANARY: BEST OF THE BEST, which I'm... a little less interested in.

Black Canary faces her toughest opponent yet, Lady Shiva, in a battle to determine who is the single greatest hand-to-hand fighter in the DC Universe. To make it to the final round, Black Canary will need all her fighting skill and ability, plus additional training from some of DC’s most accomplished fighters, including Batman, Wildcat, and even her mother, the original Black Canary!

Yeaaaaah, I just... I'm not feeling this one. There's not any real mention of a plot here, not a lot to really grab on to other than vibes, and the vibes are just weird. It's weird how Dinah is fighting to determine who's the best fighter, something that to me isn't really a huge part of her character. It's weird that, from the preview pages, they're fighting in like a Vegas casino, in a ring, with an audience. It's weird that there's three trainers mentioned and none of them are Cass, who not only has beaten Shiva before but has trained with Dinah at least twice in canon. And this being tumblr, let me say it's also weird that this is a story about a white woman training with three white people to beat up an Asian woman in martial arts.

It's a six issue mini and the short solicit and weirdness is clearly meant to pique curiosity. But I'm dreading how much this all sounds like it's using Shiva to put Dinah in a pedestal, to show how strong and resilient and stubborn she can be. Even if it goes for a ROCKY ending of "Lost the fight but won at life", unless Shiva is written very thoughtfully, it feels like she's just gonna be there for the sake of Dinah's character. And I dunno if I trust King to write Shiva with any real thought.

So that's kinda where I'm at. Neither of these are a full Shiva solo, and one of them fills me with dread, but it's been a real rush to have two major Shiva-related projects like these be revealed one after the other. And with 2025 being the 50th anniversary of her debut, hey, who knows? Maybe this is just paving the road for something special. Hope springs eternal, no?

#DC #Comics #Lady Shiva #Batgirl #Black Canary

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laiqualaurelote · 4 months ago

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Hellooo! Paranormal investigator AU for Phrack, maybe? Thank you!!

thank you for the prompt! (from this AU ask game) This is a fun one. Though one could easily set it in the modern day, I would still set it in the 1920s, because that was such a fascinating time in terms of the spiritual and supernatural - you've got the Spiritualism revival that the show briefly explores in Death Comes Knocking, the rise of silent horror films like The Cabinet of Dr Caligari and Nosferatu, and the moral panic association between jazz and vampires, which is how you get the Jazz Age Vamp (taken literally in the Rivers of London second novel Moon Over Soho, which has vampires that feed on jazz).

Phryne is one such Jazz Age Vamp (not literally; she is perfectly human). She solves supernatural cases because she remains haunted by her sister's murder at the hands of necromancer Murdoch Foyle, which she has never been able to get him convicted for (it is very difficult to prove necromancy in a court of law). She is descended from a long line of witches on her mother's side. This means that Aunt Prudence is in fact a witch of considerable strength, but chooses to use none of it because Magic is Not Proper. As they have no female descendants, they adopt Jane into their line so she will inherit the power.

Jack is the detective inspector who keeps getting assigned all the cases with a whiff of the supernatural because nobody else wants to handle them. He has inadvertently become the 1920s Melbourne equivalent of the Folly (if you know Rivers of London). This is despite the fact that he is deeply skeptical by nature - had one too many run-ins with scam artists pretending to be mediums (the hypnotist whom Jane is forced to steal for is one such conman) - and is convinced that Miss Fisher is a fraud. After reluctantly solving multiple cases with her, he concedes ghosts are real but remains immensely annoyed about it.

Dot is a real medium who struggles to reconcile her gift with her Catholic faith. She falls in love with Hugh after being forced to exorcise him, because he is exactly the kind of idiot who would end up getting possessed on his first case.

Mac still works at the morgue, which is full of ghosts. She can see them but mostly ignores them ("are you trying to sabotage your own autopsy, madam? no? then go cry in the corner till I'm done. Thank you.")

Bert came back from the war. Cec did not. This has not stopped them from driving a cab together. Their cab can take you to any part of Melbourne, including the city of the dead. They are still Communists. They take the "spectre haunting" aspect of it very seriously.

Mr Butler has been working at Wardlow for the past century and plans to continue doing so indefinitely. Nobody knows if he is alive, dead, or undead; moreover they feel it is impolite to ask.

Every case in this AU has a supernatural element except Death Comes Knocking, wherein it is revealed that every single person involved is scamming everyone else.

Arthur Conan Doyle makes a cameo in Away With the Fairies. Harry Houdini makes a cameo in Death Defying Feats and spends most of it trashing Doyle's views on spiritualism.

Crypt of Tears is greatly improved by the crypt being full of actual undead.

#procrasktination #fic ask game #miss fisher's murder mysteries #mfmm #phrack #phryne fisher #jack robinson #dorothy williams #hugh collins #supernatural au

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ladditt · 2 months ago

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aye, i've figured out what was bugging me following the ending of rain code.

as a murder mystery/ action puzzle game it excels.

i love each individual case, the fact that we START with an impossible mass murder and things only escalate from there, the fact that a lot of the mysteries themselves are figured out based off paying attention to tiny details and looking at the entire mystery holistically (noticing the train line map in chapter 0, the difference in the killer's MO across murders in chapter 1, the fact that the entire scheme hinges on the killer having knowledge of specific character's forte's in chapter 4 ect) and how those mysteries unfold in the labyrinth are really satisfying to play through.

i love the setting of kanai ward, the city feels guanine and lived in. the details about how their electricity is powered by the rain? the interactions between npc's? the cohesive design and small details that bring the different districts together? i love all of it.

the main issue i had with rain code was the 'main character'. yuma is the most passive, static progagonist i have ever seen in a video game, like, to the point where i'm thinking that he was intentionally written that way as a joke.

he's a complete outsider to the plot, almost all of the cases are solved separately to his own investigation, and none of his actions have any consequence to the outcome.

for example, chapter 1, helara solves the case on their own without any involvement from yuma, he's then forced to go into the mystery labyrinth because they put him on the spot to point out the culprit, and once cleared, the peacekeepers decide that they don't give a shit and are going to arrest the detectives regardless, before a third party falls out the aether to save our hero's skins. this set-up is repeated like, every chapter.

every chapter yuma has the same doubts as to if he's doing the right thing, before someone else reassures him that he's helping people and he's filled with a new found determination to solve mysteries. until he forgets that in the next chapter, and has the same doubts all over again.

his character arc is a flat circle, he starts off as the greatest detective in the world, loses all his memories and spends the entire game working towards becoming the sort of person that he WAS. only for him to regain all his memories at the end, but forget his own character arc in the process. as far as number one is concerned, he slipped on a puddle in the train station, hit his head, spent a week recovering, then got back to normal just in time to talk to mokoto. NONE OF THIS MATTERS! his relationships with the other characters mostly develop while in the mystery labyrinth, which everyone forgets about once completed. and the one relationship that does consistently change and develop, between him and shinagami, is ALSO forgotten at the end of the game.

speaking of mokoto, the final case of the game, the one that yuma is forced to solve on his own, consists of mokoto strapping the guy into a fairground haunted house ride, and demonstrating the plot to him. his master plan was to manipulate yuma to get the outcome he wants, and then succeeds at this 100% with no hiccups. then once the great mystery of kanai ward is revealed, just as planned, yuma decides that he would literally rather die than make a decision.

like i said, it feels like it was written as a comedic take on how detectives in mystery novels are like, passengers to the plot. it doesn't take away from how much i enjoyed the game, or how much i like yuma as a character, it's just really funny once your realize that he could have been replaced by a lamp for like 80% of the story and nothing would have changed.

#master detective archives: rain code #rain code #rain code spoilers

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themuppetagenda · 1 year ago

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Has anyone else ever noticed that if you listen to Lungs (Florence and the Machine) backwards it's a story about a young woman who becomes a werewolf and works to save herself from her fate? Let me explain. The clues are all there. We start with a little backstory and world building.

13. You've got the love: she's in love with a dude. Pretty normal song writing stuff, little more elaboration in track 12.

11. Hurricane Drunk: boy cheats on girl, more classic heartbreak songwriting, but we do get one nice bit of foreshadowing in this line, "But I like to think at least things can't get any worse". Well bestie I have some bad news for you, you're in a piece of media. You might as well have coughed after a background news story about a mysterious illness.

10. My boy builds coffins: she gets involved with some new dark brooding death obsessed guy who literally builds coffins.

9. Cosmic love: oh she's falling for him, but it's not good. "Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you". Not a great relationship tactic, feels a little red flaggy.

7. Drumming song: ok the next three songs are just a whirlwind of passion, and it's unclear exactly where she's turned. Personally I believe it's right here, "I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole. Until there’s nothing left inside my soul. As empty as that beating drum. But the song has just begun" Even if she's not literally losing her soul she's starting to lose control, her life is just swept into the tempest of her werewolf rebound.

5. Kiss with a fist is better than none: ok Harley Quinn that's a totally normal thing to say.

4. Howl: yeah here's the part where I start to question the detective skills around here, this is pretty on the nose. "If you could only see the beast you've made of me. I held it in, but now it seems you've set it running free. Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart.." it continues even more explicitly but I think you get the point.

3. I'm not calling you a liar: finally she starts to question some of her decision making. There's a lot of regret in this song.

2. Rabbit heart (raise it up): Florence is finding the strength to atone and move past this dark time, but at what cost?

"I must become a lion-hearted girl. Ready for a fight. Before I make the final sacrifice.. This is a gift, it comes with a price. Who is the lamb and who is the knife."

After this song I was very worried for my girl, does she need to be the sacrifice? Peak storytelling, I'm gripped with suspense. Hoping for the best but fearing the worst. Will she be ok?

1. Dog days are over: she got better, whew.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Please watch out for your favorite artists, there's apparently a werewolf in London.

#florence and the machine #florence welch #satire #werewolves #song analysis

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hot-take-tournament · 1 year ago

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HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

PRE-PRELIMINARY #19

Submission 55

Tohru Adachi is a better character than Goro Akechi

[SUBMITTED JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT]

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when your exposed to critical levels of radiation)

They're both terrible people but P4 doesn't try to justify Adachi's actions even if you pick the accomplice ending and side with him, meanwhile P5 constantly goes 'but he was sad tho :( his daddy doesn't love him so he's allowed to kill ppl' after the reveal that Akechi's the traitor. Also I did the math and in the cutscene where the train gets derailed alone Akechi killed at least 100x more people than Adachi did in the entire game. There's nothing wrong with liking evil characters (IMO) but acting like they're sweet innocent babies is lame

Adachi and Akechi have similar roles in the story. They’re both the subject of the main mystery of their respective games, the killer and the traitor, and in order to hide their involvement, they have fake detective personas (lowercase p personas not Personas). The issue is that while Adachi’s fake personality is a lovable dork who goofs off work by hanging out in the lobby of a department store, “accidentally” leaks critical information about the case to a bunch of teenagers, and has a weird friendship with an old lady who thinks he’s her son, Akechi's is just generic “crime bad, criminals bad” detective man with zero substance to any of his interactions with the main cast outside of literally all of them fucking hating him (the correct and morally right response to Akechi talking to you). But that’s just their fake personalities, right? It’s totally fine for a completely false, constructed persona to be a little shallow, right? Well Akechi’s real personality is just as bad. I already mentioned how his entire motivation is “Waah my dad doesn’t love me so I’m gonna help him achieve his goals then kill him” which is completely fucking stupid by the way just kill the dude and be done with it if thats what you’re gonna do anyway man, but his personality boils down to ‘generic angsty villain whos gonna get a completely undeserved redemption arc’ (thankfully cognitive Akechi killed him before that could happen, the one good thing he did and it wasn’t even really him). Adachi’s real personality is completely unhinged, his big motivation speech can be summed up as “ACAB!” “But you’re a cop!?” YEAH AND I’M A TOTAL BASTARD WHAT PART OF THAT DON’T YOU GET!?” You love to hate him, and that’s what makes a good antagonist, not feeling sorry for him because his dad doesn’t love him. Guess what Akechi, a lot of people's dads don’t love them and none of them became domestic terrorists to try to regain his love and respect!

And you might think that I’m exaggerating with how the player is supposed to sympathise and eventually forgive Akechi, but after he explains his awful motivation, the first person to extend a hand of sympathy is Haru, the girl who’s father Akechi murdered in front of her like two months prior. The second person is Futaba, who spent her entire adolescence traumatised because she thought she was such a shitty daughter that it drove her mother to suicide BECAUSE AKECHI KILLED HER MOTHER IN FRONT OF HER (the dude’s consistent I’ll give him that.)

#persona #persona 4 #persona 5 #tohru adachi #goro akechi #persona 5 akechi #p4 adachi #persona 4 adachi #p5 akechi #hot take #hot take tournament #tournament poll #tumblr bracket #tumblr tournament #tumblr poll #persona 4 spoilers #persona 5 spoilers #unpopular opinion #pre preliminary

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dykesbites · 2 days ago

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“i haven’t heard anything about feinberg and radfeminism.” = “i don’t listen to transbians.” typical tmebian, but i will help you. check out adrienne rich’s contributions and support to transsexual empire and her relationship with feinberg. you may also want to read these posts:

https://www.tumblr.com/gatheringbones/760796977955995648

https://www.tumblr.com/plaidos/760581707849203713/i-wonder-what-you-make-of-leslie-feinbergs

https://www.tumblr.com/plaidos/761892639272468480/how-could-xyz-be-a-terf-if-theyre-literally

when i got that ask i searched for evidence on tumblr and the internet and found just that third link, which doesn't actually give any evidence that feinberg associates w terfs. i didn't find anything else online, so i responded asking for clarification.

first link doesn't work. regarding the second link, i haven't actually read sbb so i can't speak on how trans women are treated in it.

here's the description from the post by plaidos: "transfems are treated in Stone Butch Blues in very much the same way cis women would be by a misogynistic writer who still “loves & appreciates” women; they exist to give emotional support to the Real Main Characters whilst reminding us how hard and complicated it is to be a transsexual, whilst ALSO reminding us how we exist to be rewards for other people’s self-improvement journey".

i'm not going to dismiss that assessment. if that's how it comes across to plaidos, and other transfems agree with her opinion, then i'm sure its accurate. but it's probably not something a tme person would be able to detect, and it seems like the sort of fumble a well intentioned ally would make. that doesn't make it okay, or make sbb/feinberg immune to criticism, but i think it's a stretch to consider that as evidence that s/he was a transmisogynist? it's fairly common to make mistakes or have an inaccurate view of people you're attempting to ally with. again, that doesn't make those mistakes okay, but it also doesn't make you a terf. if feinberg wasn't friends with many other transfems/tma people and didn't fight for their rights, i'd be less inclined to give the benefit of the doubt

now when i looked up adrienne rich, this came up

Wikipedia text: Janice Raymond, in the foreword of her 1979 book The Transsexual Empire, thanked Rich for "constant encouragement" and cited her in the book's chapter "Sappho by Surgery." "The Transsexual Empire" is considered by some LGBT and feminist critics to be transphobic, and many have criticized Rich for her involvement in and support of its production. While Rich never explicitly disavowed her support for Raymond's work, Leslie Feinberg cites Rich as having been supportive during Feinberg's writing of Transgender Warriors. End transcript.

yeah, this sucks. i haven't read transsexual empire so again, idk. i don't have a lot to go off here so it may be worse than this wikipedia article makes it out to be, but from what i can tell, feinberg mentions having talked to someone who contributed to someone else's transphobic book. this again, seems like kind of a stretch? its entirely possible feinberg didn't know, or that feinberg was under the impression that rich could be persuaded to understand the trans perspective on transsexual empire. this also doesn't imply anything about their relationship, there's nothing here or anywhere else i can find that suggests they were anything more than acquaintances.

here are the three citations next to the last sentence from the wikipedia article: Diving Into the Wreck / "What Kind of Times Are These?" / Was Adrienne Rich Anti-Trans? first and second links are written by trans women. none of them make a solid connection between rich and feinberg

i appreciate you taking the time to provide links and follow up when i asked for more information, and im absolutely open to further discussion (other tma people are encouraged to weigh in!)

#transmisogyny

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stormyoceans · 7 months ago

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Do you have any other wishes for GMMTV part 2 aside from the mandatory slow burn?

[TAKES OUT HER WISHLIST] ANON HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE

all jokes aside, i honestly do have way too many wishes when it comes to what i want to see from GMMTV and most of them are very hyperspecific, so instead of giving you just an endless list of whatever random ideas or pairings i’d like to get (which is maybe more appropriate for a bingo card or something like that), i kinda condensed it all into some more general categories (sort of. a couple fo these are still pretty specific ;;;;;;;;)

anyway, here we go!!!!

1. WOMEN. literally my top wish after anything jimmysea related is MORE. WOMEN. like srsly give me viewjune as the main pairing in a GL!!!!!!!! give me sizzy in any combination!!!!!!!! give me women centring shows where the women actually get treated as the main characters!!!!!!!! give me the GL version of series like only friends and we are where the women get to be silly and nasty!!!!!!!!! give me jamie kissing women as a treat to me specifically!!!!!!!!! GIVE. ME. WOMEN.

2. historical QL. after the success of i feel you linger in the air and with both idolfactory and domundi working on releasing historical QLs in the near future, i think it’s about time GMMTV also gives us a proper one. possibly with no time travel or reincarnation involved, for once

3. plot driven QL. this is kinda tied to my wish for an actual slow burn and partly to the following point as well, but i do desperately wish we could get a QL series where the romance is obviously still there, but it’s not the main focus of the show, or at least not the only one. something like manner of death or triage, where the romance just happens along the way as the story unfolds. i think the closest GMMTV got to it was with not me, but it would be nice to get more, even if i know this is not everyone’s cup of tea

4. some variety please for the love of god. look, i know we’re never gonna get rid of school settings and office romances, so it’s pointless to wish to have none of those, but i do desperately need a bit more diversity. of the fifteen series announced in part 1, seven of them are set in school. SEVEN. that’s basically half of the offer they’re giving. and okay, if we consider only the QL shows then the ratio is better (3 out of 9), but still. give me thriller shows, give me horror shows, give me fantasy shows, give me sci-fi shows, give me jobs that aren’t just office workers or chefs, give me mystery, give me crime, give me cashiers and doctors and detectives and firefighters and taxi drivers and teachers and librarians and waiters and bartenders and mechanics and lawyers and flight attendants and therapists and farmers and hairdressers and reporters, JUST!!!!!!!!! explore something new!!!!!!!! take some risks!!!!!!!! i know GMMTV as a company is not as big as we think it is and that it focuses on teens and new generation audiences, but i don’t think younger people want to see students and office workers exclusively……

5. QL exploring other sexualities and gender identities. just give me ace main characters, trans main characters, non-binary main characters, ALL THE DIFFERENT QUEER MAIN CHARACTERS!!!!!!!

6. pepper/papang/guy/podd in any combination as a main pairing in a QL. love and light to all the rookies but if GMMTV doesn’t give these men some main roles im gonna start committing grand scale larceny to cope

#i left out stuff like 'ALL THE JIMMYSEA SERIES' because you know #i'd say that's pretty obvious ;;;;;;;#but i can definitely be more specific if you want just let me know!!!!#in the mean time thank you for asking this anon!!!! hope you're having a wonderful day 💜#gmmtv 2024 part 2 #wishlist #m: ask

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maretinelli · 6 days ago

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SHE WILL COME BACK

Jake Peralta X fem!reader

Summary: In which S/n is expelled from the police station and goes on an undercover mission in the mafia. However, Jake will have to live six months in doubt, after declaring his love for his best friend and receiving no response.

Words: 3.8K+

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, mentions of swear words, moderately altered lines from the series, mentions of the mafia and a merely angsty ending.

Author: I always say that English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes that may occur throughout the story. And then, there will be a part two, but I won't be long in posting it.

Y/s: sobrenome

Part 2

MASTERLIST

Y/n was in trouble.

Trouble would be too weak a word, she was about to be fired from the NYPD for having evidence that one of the high-ranking bosses was involved in drug trafficking.

Man, she was in SO MUCH TROUBLE for just doing her job.

"You disobeyed my orders to drop this case," Captain Holt says harshly.

Y/n, who was in the room with Santiago by her side, frowns.

"I was keeping an eye on him because I was told he was going to meet with the drug dealer."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Holt asks.

"Because you said to drop the case!!" Y/n exclaims.

Holt looks seriously at y/n.

"This is unacceptable. It's gone too far."

"I think you should try. Detective y/s has a lead and you should take it," Amy says quickly, afraid of the lecture.

"Good. Because that's none of your business." Holt crosses his arms. "Commissioner Podolski has filed a lawsuit against you, Detective y/s. You're suspended for six months and placed on administrative leave until the hearing. Now get out of my office."

Y/n clenches her jaw angrily, while digging her fingernails into her palms.

Amy looks at her in fear. She looks like she's ready to jump on Holt.

"Okay. As you say!" She says through gritted teeth and leaves the room. Leaving Amy behind.

When Holt's office door slams shut, all eyes turn to her.

Y/n takes the badge off her neck, the gun off her cuff and throws it on Gina's desk, making her startle.

"I'm suspended for six months. See you at my hearing," she says angrily, leaving the enclosure and heading to the elevator.

Everyone looks at each other in fear as they watch the woman leave.

"WHAT?" Jake screams and runs after his best friend.

When he manages to reach the woman, she is in the parking lot beneath the building.

"Y/n!! Y/N" Peralta yells to make her stop, and it work.

Y/n turns around, now calmer for having seen Jake and not Holt.

"Jake, hi"

Jake manages to reach her and sighs deeply, having descended flights of stairs.

"Hi. Just a second. I need to catch my breath." He puts his hands on his knees and then takes a deep breath, returning to his normal form. "I know you were suspended for the Podolski case, but why did Holt do this?"

With Jake by her side, she begins to walk slowly to her car.

"Podolski filed a lawsuit against me. Amy and I had information about him meeting with the drug dealer today, we followed him and he saw us. He gossiped and sued me. That damn pothead" She says irritably, as she leans against the car with her arms crossed.

Jake gives her a discreet once-over.

The detective always wore combat boots of different models, but always with low soles - no heels. Today she was wearing dark jeans that matched the denim jacket, and underneath, a white wool blouse.

"I'm now going to be on administrative leave until the hearing." She finishes speaking.

Jake comes back to reality and crosses his arms too, leaning against the car next to her.

"What the hell." He says.

"Literally" Y/n makes Jake laugh. Soon laughing together.

Jake and Y/n grew up on the same street and by fate they entered the police academy together with Rosa. Since then, no one would separate the other. It was literally until death do us part. Because not even the other's boyfriend or girlfriend could do that, since the two had been in love for YEARS.

The two talked for a while longer, until Amy appeared in the parking lot to call Jake, because Holt requested his presence.

"I will. But I'll stop by your house as soon as my shift ends." Jake says, giving Y/n a warm hug.

"Okay. I'll wait for you," she says. "I'm going now, maybe Holt will come down and kick me out of here."

Jake laughs and blows a kiss in the air, before turning around, putting his hands in his jacket pocket and heading back to 99°.

•••••••••••••••••••

A few days had passed. And today would be Y/n's hearing about the case.

She was waiting for Captain Holt outside the building, while Amy was with her living proof about Podolski and the drugs.

"You requested me this far?" Holt asks without demands.

"I requested it. Proving my innocence and bringing concrete evidence"

"Did you continue working on the case even though you were suspended?"

"Yes" she says as if it were obvious.

"I know Wint is guilty. I brought an informant that I want you to meet," y/n says, and soon Amy comes out from behind a wall with him.

"Every day you surprise me more and more"

"Thank you captain" y/n makes a reference. "But the one who found him went to Santiago" She says and her friend smiles.

"What's going on with you guys?"

"I don't know either, Sir. We're off track and my internal GPS is recalculating the route until today," Amy says.

"This is Isaac. He was selling drugs to the kids in Bay Ridge."

"Drugs are not sold, people find and buy them"

"Shut up and tell me about the donations," y/n informs, while having her hat under her arm.

"Every Friday I would put the money in a bag and take it to Wint at the community center, room 265. And they would record it as a donation to charity in the cash book."

"Money laundering" y/n looks at the captain and snaps her fingers in his face.

"Why would we believe you?" Holt asks the supplier.

"I don't care. Those guys invaded my territory and I had to stop selling drugs," he says. "And man, I love selling drugs," he slaps his left leg.

"I've requested a search warrant for this cash book. I need you to sign it before I take it to the judge." S/n hands a paper to Holt. "I know it's a pain in the neck, but trust me."

Holt looks deep into the detective's eyes.

"Okay. But I'll be with you. Every step of the way."

"They should put a microchip in her neck, like a puppy."

Y/n turns to the informant and looks him up and down.

"Switch on. Now go away. Get lost. Thanks, by the way" Y/n says without much importance.

After the conversation with Holt and the short interview with the judge, y/n called Jake and asked for his help so she could go to the community center to get the cash book.

She had already informed Peralta of the entire case she had done during the week she was on administrative leave and Jake had helped her with that. Of course, even because Jake went to y/n's apartment every day.

He would say it was so she wouldn't feel alone. But let's face it, everyone knew that Jake couldn't stay away from his beloved for even a day.

"What's going on over there?" Jake asks.

Holt, Jake and y/n were in the car, looking at the location they had been given.

"It looks like a dance festival." Y/n explains from the backseat.

Amy was now at the police station helping with Charles and the whole divorce issue. She was replaced by Jake.

"We can't go in like this," Holt says.

"We'll have to go get some clothes. I know there's a bazaar nearby."

Jake groans.

"No, not a bazaar!"

Yes. Bazaar yes.

After they went to pick up some cheap clothes that fit the festival theme, they entered the place where the cash book of drugs sold was.

"As Y/N informed me, the cash book should be upstairs. Room 265. Just go up and --" As Jake was about to go up the stairs, a security guard three times his size arrived.

"Hey, it's closed to the public up there. Get back in line, dude."

Jake franze each.

"No, man. I'm Dave, a dancing foot, and this is my partner Mary, who dances a lot, and our master Peter, who dances a lot." Jake says seriously and y/n shakes her head at the made-up names. But she smiles when the security guard looks over.

"I don't care. I'm just saying that you can't go up there."

Jake turns and makes a face.

"Your hearing is in 1 hour"

"We'll have to sign up. There might be another stint in the dance room." Holt says.

"Good idea." Jake snaps his fingers.

Y/n was going to follow Holt, but Jake called her.

"Y/n!" She stops in the middle of the path and looks at the detective. "That dress looks really good on you. You look like a fairy" he says which leaves Y/n speechless and with her heart beating faster.

"Ah, I-"

"Alright, let's go." Jake says and gets in line.

After the line moved, the three detectives were inside the hall, which was packed with people.

"Ooh myyy Good" Y/n whispers.

"We're going to have to mingle. Stretch your leg"

"What?"

Jake pulls Y/n's leg up.

"Awh. I'm not elastic." Y/n pulls her leg down to the floor again. "Look, it looks like Holt really does dance well."

Jake looks to the side and Holt had found a dance partner.

With that, the party announcer begins by saying that the first phase would be free dancing.

"Damn" Y/n says.

"What's up, honey?"

"I can't dance?" She says quietly.

"Okay. I can teach you," Jake says nicely and pulls Y/N to the center of the room. "Just follow my feet. Right...left...turn."

Y/n follows Jake's steps and soon they were dancing.

"Very good, my dear," he says excitedly, like this that y/n comes back from the spin. Which makes her stop on his chest, face to face.

Y/n analyzes every detail of Jake's face. Has she ever gotten this close to him? What? Does Jake have mini freckles under his eyes?

Jake was glued to Y/n's eyes, wanting to pull her in for a kiss. Until Holt arrived beside them.

"Hey, lovebirds"

"No!" Jake and Y/N exclaim together.

"Whatever," Holt says. "There's a staircase over there." He spins his partner around. "But there's a catch. There's a security guard there too. You'll have to distract him."

Y/n and Jake look on smiling. I already imagined that the other had an idea.

"I can pretend to sprain my ankle and distract him. While you go upstairs and get the cash book," Y/n says, now excited about the plan.

"We take the book, prove your innocence and I get a kiss"

"Dream on, Jake" Y/n looked back at her laughing.

As much as she wanted, Jake always did this kind of flirting and never took the initiative. Which made y/n think it was a friendly and silly flirting.

Y/n starts screaming and limping.

"Oh, sir, guard. Help me, I think I broke my foot dancing. Oh, oh, oh," she says, sitting on a nearby chair and drawing the guard's attention to herself.

"Calm down, young lady. Where does it hurt?" He says patiently.

"Aww. Yes! Yes! Yes! I think I broke my pretty little foot" she says dramatically, giving Jake the perfect opportunity to climb the now free stairs.

Jake went up, took a picture of the evidence and came down. While y/n was still making a fuss about her foot which was clearly fine.

"Do you want me to call the first responders?"

"No, no," Y/n says, a little desperate. "My boyfriend just got here." She says, when she sees that Jake is far from the stairs. "My love, please help me."

"I'm here, honey. Let's go," Jake says, getting into character. "We're going to have to leave the first place to the second best couple here. Because the first one is leaving, unfortunately," Jake says, picking up S/n, leaving her scared for a moment. "Let's take care of that little foot. Thanks, Guard."

The security guard just nods and returns to his previous post.

When they were outside the hall, Jake carefully placed y/n on the floor and smiled to her side.

"Boyfriend? I like the sound of it coming out of your mouth."

"Shut up, Peralta," she says, smoothing her dress and he laughs. "Did you get the evidence?"

"Everything archived on my cell phone"

"Great!" Holt says from behind them. "Let's go to Y/N's hearing now. Jeffords told me that Gina, Boyle, and Diaz messed up on their part."

Y/n smiles looking at Jake and they get in the car. To go to the court.

Arriving at the court, y/n was so excited about the evidence they collected that she couldn't stop talking as she walked to the room.

"Seriously. I want to take a picture of Podolski's face when he sees this evidence. It would be hilarious" She says and Jake who was next to her smiles.

"We can take a picture like this, with him in the background." Jake and y/n made the same face as Peralta took a picture of the two of them. "Wow, it's kind of hard to take a picture when you're walking."

Y/n laughed.

"...okay. Okay." Holt, who was on the phone behind them, hangs up and calls their attention. "Peralta. Could you leave me and Y/N alone for a second?"

Jake turn around.

"Sure. See you later" He says to y/n. "Good luck, my dear" he places a friendly kiss on the woman's cheek and leaves.

Y/n smiles seeing Jake and then looks at the captain.

"I'm not in love," she quickly replies.

"I didn't say anything," Holt says. "But it's evident on your faces." He puts his phone in his pocket. "I was on a phone call just now. This may sound crazy, but I'm going to ask you to do something. Just trust me."

Y/n frowns and looks strange, while turning her head a little to the side.

"Ok...?!"

••••••••••••••

Now with the hearing already over. Y/n was in the court parking lot waiting for Jake, who had texted her and she told him to meet there.

"YOU WHAT?" He says yelling as he approaches. "You were suspended even with the evidence we collected an hour before?" Peralta says calmly with her, but stressed with the court staff.

Y/n bites her lower lip. Clearly with anger written all over her face.

"Holt asked me to be expelled "

"WHAT?" Jake screams again, in disbelief.

"I don't know. I'm still kind of scared. But he said to trust him and I kind of got carried away in the hearing and ended up freaking out at all of them..."

"I can't believe it..." Jake says scared, just thinking about y/n exploding in anger in the judges' faces.

"Neither do I..."

"Y/n!!" Holt arrives with three men behind them.

"Me!!"

"Who are these?" Peralta asks.

"This is Agent Clark from the FBI" Captain introduces him to y/n.

"We could not allow Wint to be exposed. It could jeopardize a major ongoing federal investigation. We believe Podolski has ties to the Lanucci crime family."

"One of the biggest crime families..." Jake whispers to Y/n.

Meanwhile, she had both hands on her waist, listening attentively.

"We need you kicked out of the NYPD because the Lanuccis have informants deep inside the police force. We need you to help us with this investigation, undercover."

Y/n widens her eyes in fright at the information given.

"Your answer is yes, Y/N." Jake says for her and begins to fantasize about an old life for her. "Your name is Lauren Fernandez, a young Mexican girl who was raised in an orphanage because her parents were drug addicts and couldn't take care of a baby, at the age of 14 you made your first sale of--"

"Peralta!! Enough!" Holt says.

"Okay, sorry. I got carried away." He takes a step back. "Detective y/s..." He gestures for y/n to come forward.

"What do you say, Detective? Want to be that undercover?" FBI Clark asks.

Y/n smiles and turns around, seeing Jake with a jewel in his hand.

"Okay. I accept the case," she smiles victoriously.

Holt nods.

"Okay. We'll give you further instructions once you're supposed to leave the station. Welcome to the team, Detective y/n." Clark says shaking Y/n's hand.

"It would be now, FBI S/s"

"That's not how it works, Jake."

"Sorry, I got carried away again captain"

••••••••••••••••••••••••

After the conversation with the FBI personnel, Holt gathered his entire squad in his office at 99 to explain the entire case and why y/n was supposedly kicked out of the precinct.

"What am I going to say, you can't leave here" Captain closes the door with y/n, Jake, Amy, Charles, Rosa, Terry and Gina inside. "Detective y/s is going to work as an undercover FBI agent, the story is that she was expelled."

"Oh my God" Amy exclaims and everyone looks at her.

"No, no Y/n!! It could be Boyle instead" Gina says dramatically.

"Hey!" Charles says offendedly.

"They said the mission will last 6 months." Y/n begins. "Boyle can have my computer. As long as he doesn't put a picture of his horny dog as his wallpaper. Gina can have my locker, Jake can have my open cases..."

"That's it, I've always wanted to hear that," he celebrates.

Everyone makes a face, but doesn't question it.

"Enough! Y/N doesn't have the authority to do this."

"Wow captain. Only today!" Y/n turns to Holt.

"Negative"

Y/n hits her left leg with her hand.

"...but you will be missed, detective."

Y/n smiled shyly. It wasn't every day that she received this kind of compliment. "Thank you."

"Thank you for trusting me," Holt says. "Now...you can go and freak out. I know you and Jake have dreams of doing this."

Y/n celebrates and does a hi-five with Jake.

"That's it. Blow us away," Jake says happily.

"Best day of my life. Let's go" she sighs deeply. "I'll miss you guys" y/n smiles. Too much. "NOW LISTEN HERE. THIS POLICE STATION IS A FOOL. YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS." She opens the office door. The people inside laughed, while those outside were scared. "I HOPE THE NEXT DETECTIVE IS A SHIT" she shouts leaving the room. "HERE CAPTAIN!! THIS FUCKING UNIFORM" y/n takes off the top of her uniform.

"Business is getting good" Jake looks at her with a crooked smile, crossing his arms and watching y/n take off her sleeves.

Luckily, or unluckily for Jake, Y/n was wearing a black tank top underneath her uniform.

"No. What the hell" Jake mutters and the crowd laughs.

"There's no way around it. You're going to have to talk to her today about how you feel. If not, it'll be a few months later. And honestly, she might prefer someone from the mafia if you don't talk to her," Diaz taunts Jake.

"Seriously, Rosa. Mind your own business."

They laughed.

After that, y/n went to the closet and started packing her things in boxes to take out of the police station and take home. Meanwhile, the people from that shift were leaving, like Scully, Hitchcock, Diaz, Santiago. Even the sergeant.

Y/n was putting her last things in the box, when Jake knocks on the door and comes in.

She smiles from ear to ear.

"What did you think of my performance against you?" She laughs, packing up the rest of her belongings.

Jake chuckles, leaning against the nearby locker.

"Excellent!! Except for the part where you called us idiots" he says, making Y/n remember and laugh. "I came to bring this, it still belongs to you" he hands her the coat she had taken off a few minutes before in the living room. "By the way, I expected you not to be wearing anything under that coat. I really expected that" Jake jokes.

Y/n grabs her coat, rolling her eyes and laughing.

"Mind your own business, Peralta," she laughs and puts her coat inside the box as well. "I'm kind of done here already. There's not much to help. If that's it," Y/n takes the box and puts it under her arm.

"Oh, right. That's not exactly what I came here for," Jake says, already getting nervous. "I know we're going to have to go six months without talking or seeing each other. And whether we like it or not, that's a big deal for us."

Y/n smiles. "True. For someone who has spent the last 17 years seeing each other every day, it's going to be really difficult. But think about it, I wasn't kicked out of true" she smiles again.

Jake nods and smiles too.

"Yes. But there's one more thing I need to talk about. It's been stuck with me for a few years now and I never know how to direct it to you. And now that you're going, I think it'll be easier to absorb if anything goes wrong."

"Jake?" Y/n asks, already getting scared of what's to come.

"It's been a while since I've been able to control myself, I react in this way that makes me dream. I love you. And I swear that when I have reasons to keep this passion, I'll fight for it." Jake begins. "I want to be your breath, your sweat, reasons to smile. And the best that exists in your heart, I want to be your fantasy, to be with you night and day. And if you ask me for that star, I'll get the entire constellation for you." He gently pokes the tattoo of a constellation that she had tattooed on her right shoulder. "I love you. I've never seen a love so strong like this, there's no denying that God made you for me. I love you, as long as the sunlight shines, I won't stop, I'll love you until the end. And I know that this may have ruined everything we've built in what? Almost 20 years of friendship? But what can I do when I love you so much?!" Jake finishes, seeing that Y/n had tears in her eyes.

"Jake, look, I'm-" she says, smiling, but doesn't finish because Holt walks into the locker room.

"I heard rumors that you're still here. I know that It's hard to say goodbye, but you have to go. Sorry" Holt says and Y/n shakes her head agreeing, while quickly taking off the tears from the face.

"Okay. I just need to talk to Jake."

"Ah. That too. I ask that you not communicate with each other during these months of your work. So as not to raise suspicions. And Jake, you should go. If you don't, they'll think you're the real mafia informant."

"Captain, sir. I really need to speak to her -"

"I don't think it's that important."

Y/n closes her eyes, shedding some tears.

"Peralta. I'll wait for you outside."

"Ok. Sir" he says.

"I have so much to tell you about this. But I think it will take me six months." Y/n says. "See you later, Jake" she walks past him with a welcoming smile and leaves the locker room. Leaving Jake without answers and with a broken heart.

"Bye, honey," he says, tears in his eyes.

He leaves the locker room right after her, watching her enter the elevator with her head down and sobbing.

Holt appears behind him.

"I'm in love with her, Captain," Jake says, already knowing who was behind him.

"Everyone at the police station knows. And I confirmed it when I heard you saying those words to her. I could let her answer, but perhaps that would hinder the investigation more. I'm sorry."

"Okay. I'll wait for her for another six months. I know she'll come back," Peralta replies, putting on his denim jacket and leaving the police station to go to Shaw's bar.

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hrefna-the-raven · 11 months ago

Text

Lawmen

Masterlist - DBH masterlist

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Words: 1088

Warnings: none really

Chapter 8 - The mission

If your douchebag knew you were going to be teaming up with a certain captain on a case, he would definitely lose it. You smiled at the thought as you took a sip of your coffee while David filled you in on the details of the investigation. Both the Bureau and the DPD had an interest in getting a closer look at the newly opened branch of the Eden Club in Detroit, although for different reasons. However, there was no denying that it made sense for both forces to work together on this. The FBI was particularly intrigued by the club manager, Floyd Mills, and his claim that no interactions between androids and customers were being recorded. Meanwhile, the DPD had their own suspicions about Mills and his possible involvement in the spread of the red ice plague that was wreaking havoc in the city. Perkins grudgingly informed you two days ago that Captain Fowler inquired a collaboration based on Allen’s request to work with you. As David finished speaking, you could feel your cheeks growing warm.

“Any thoughts?”, the way he addressed you by your name made you shiver in a gleeful anticipation.

He had a certain indefinable something, he was clever, charming, highly professional but outside his working hours, unlike the Jackal, he was capable of smiling and even joking around. You couldn't help but feel a sudden sadness that you weren't spending more time with him, especially after the incident with Gavin in the precinct break room. It was almost ironic, considering that even after that day, your relationship with the detective continued to move at a slow pace. There were occasional intimate moments, particularly after a night of drinking or when another guy showed interest in you. However, those moments alone were not enough to classify what you had as a genuine relationship. The friendship remained unchanged - you still argued, laughed, teased each other, and spent the usual amount of time together. Yet, there was an underlying unease in the situation. Something didn't feel right. After confessing your hidden feelings for each other, everything should have felt more satisfying, but it didn't.

“Earth to agent, are you still with me?”, Allen’s voice ripped out of your thoughts, you completely forgot that you were still in his office.

“I…um…yes”, you stammered.

“Yes what?”

“Yes…Captain?”, you hesitantly replied.

He chuckled heartily at your reaction, shaking his head.

“A fine agent you are, not even listening what the captain says”, he teased, winking at you, “but seriously, I know my approach is a bit delicate, pretending to be lovers in search of a third person for some excitement but I truly believe it's the best way for us to freely roam and hack into the club's system.”

“I totally agree, besides, I've done riskier things with my actual partner while undercover so it'll be a refreshing change to work with a handsome captain”, you sheepishly grinned, taking another sip of your coffee.

Yes, we’re back on track , you mentally high fived yourself.

“What about Reed? Will he ruin our mission because of some spontaneous fit of jealousy?”

“He’s stupid, but he possibly can’t be that stupid”, you shrugged, hoping the douche wouldn’t proof you wrong, “besides he has to stay late to finish some reports, so he shouldn't be a problem.”

“Let’s meet at eight tomorrow evening, my place. Oh and just for the record of our mission, I prefer a more classic style, like that blouse and pencil skirt you wore last time we had a drink with Vaz”, he flirted with you as your face turned red once again.

“Duly noted, Captain. I’d say I have a thing for uniforms, but that would be rather have contra-productive for our success, so wear whatever you feel comfortable in and try not to look too grumpy.”

It took you a great deal of self-control to not act like a monkey on a stick before knocking at the captain’s door. You literally felt like a teenager waiting for his first date to arrive, clueless and unconfident about what would happen next, specifically since you had chosen to wear the pencil skirt and blouse he had mentioned during the briefing. Nervously, you lightly tapped on the elegant, deep red door, which swung open shortly after. As you looked at the man standing before you, your jaw dropped in astonishment. This was not a sight you were prepared for, and it was certainly a pleasant surprise for your weary eyes. The captain had decided to match your vintage attire, had you taken his comment into consideration. He was dressed in a form-fitting white t-shirt that accentuated his well-toned physique, cuffed jeans, black boots, and a classic black leather biker jacket.

Hello? This is your brain speaking, in a case my advice is still needed, stop staring and drooling and talk to the man! Brain out. You closed your eyes, mentally counting to three and looked again at him, noticing a slight blush on his cheeks.

“You look fantastic, David”, you finally managed to say, attempting to conceal the fact of your own heat rising to your face.

“You too”, he murmured your name with his deep voice.

He sort of noted he liked you in that outfit, but he didn’t think you’d consider wearing it for tonight. The muscles in his body tensed and he pressed his hands to his body to hide that he was shivering with excitement.

Focus, Dave. This is a professional assignment, an undercover mission with her. Don't forget about that arrogant detective she always seem to be with. Maintain control over yourself.

He breathed deeply to calm his nerves as you completely missed all of it due to your own nervousness. Silently, you walked side by side towards the waiting taxi outside the apartment complex. The drive to the Eden Club was long, but it presented an opportunity to go over the plan once more. You discussed the crucial aspects of your fabricated relationship and how you would utilise the Bureau's cutting-edge gadget for this operation. After extensive negotiations, Cyberlife finally granted them access to an advanced prototype of their hacking device. It had been specifically designed to manually shut down less sophisticated android models in case of issues, along with a code capable of cracking moderately secure digital passwords and firewall-protected sites. You sort of felt like the Doctor waving around his sonic screwdriver to open any doors or computer gateways. Hopefully the wonder device would be as good as Cyberlife's words.

Chapter 9

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finalmemesx · 5 months ago

Text

The Last Book on the Left

By the Last Podcast on the Left.

"I am paid literally hundreds of dollars to suck on television."

"Always use a condom."

"I'm actually supposed to be a very important millionaire."

"Disgustingly, this is an actual genre on Pornhub."

"This is before they started killing people!"

"There are more red flags in this relationship than what you see in Google Maps when you search for bagel shops in Brooklyn."

"You have no business having this level of confidence."

"Now I am scared."

"None of us care what you learn in your fancy law school books."

"They might as well have been driving Jigsaw's bicycle."

"If you want to get out of responsibilities, you do something badly and no one asks you to do it again."

"It would be really inspiring if it didn't lead to so much homicide."

"Most cold-blooded SOB is Stone Cold Steve Austin."

"I hope to play them in the eventual CW teen drama about his life."

"It's hard for a parent to comprehend their child might be a vampire."

"You gotta get good at the cunnilingus and keep yourself in the game."

"Oh wait, that's bad."

"Fucking metal! But also incredibly scary."

"This is like blaming the road for you crashing your car while drunk."

"I can't be mixing any thoughts of brunch into this."

"Remind me to get a 'not welcome' sign on my door immediately!"

"You look at them like Wayne looked at the Excalibur guitar in Wayne's World."

"Here is where I tap out like Kurt Angle tapped to Chris Jericho."

"You're living a metal god's dream."

"Most homosexual lifestyles involve going to work, making dinner, watching Top Chef, and going to sleep."

"I will say if someone really loves kombucha, they might be a serial killer."

"More information that gives me pause regarding my friendships."

"Evidently the recipe isn't the only secret there."

"That's a city ordinance violation."

"Excuse me while my skin crawls off my body."

"I would have loved to see their Tinder profile."

"I also haven't committed dozens of murders."

"I am certain this made you very popular at school."

"You're finally ready for Hollywood!"

"Weed makes me want to watch movies, eat a burrito, and stare at the sky to see if any stars move."

"I'm completely romanticizing the life of a detective."

"When are you guys going to catch that motherfucker?"

"Life you haven't stroked it covered in popcorn."

"But those people are nerds."

"We've got a nerd alert!"

"It really was a different time for angry mobs of people."

"It's official, I am never having children."

"This is why I only hung out with the troublemakers in school."

"I fucking hate you."

"I do it better and I can come faster."

"And what I wouldn't give for a taste of that sweet Baba Yaga milk."

"This is where humor saves people from becoming a cannibal."

"You have to put the blame on yourself if you get caught."

"Nothing good happens under a bridge."

"Sounds like a Hardy Boys mystery."

"I'm not going to sleep for the rest of the week, but it was fascinating information!"

"Similar to when I get super stoned and realize all the Domino's I just ate."

"And I thought the fleshlight was a bit extreme."

"What the hell was going on in the 1980s?"

"I'm never going to trust my neighbors again."

#rp meme #ask meme #rp ask meme

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ninjadeathblade · 1 year ago

Text

Moulin Rouge Discotrain AU (part one)

Summary: (Post-game canon) The Conductor and DJ Grooves agree to finally work on a movie together. They come up with 'Moulin Rouge', a musical drama filled with romance. Over time the two directors grow closer and discover that maybe they don't hate each other as much.

Word count: 558 (this is kinda the introduction so it's pretty short)

Warnings: None

Author's notes: I literally started writing this a couple days ago and it's over 6k and not finished so I might as well start posting it. So here it is I guess! I know there are words in the vernacular to describe it. I don't know how to write Conductor's accent, sorry. I will try and post up parts regularly but sorry if I get distracted. Pinguini and Owlice are OCs and I literally only came up with them while making this. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

The Conductor scribbled out another paragraph of drafted script, before crumpling the entire piece of paper and throwing it in the bin.

He let out a sigh as DJ Grooves burst in, not even bothering to knock.

"Darling! You can't stay cooped up in here forever! There are two of us working on this movie, and I won't let you take all the credit," Grooves exclaimed, shutting the door and walking over to look at Conductor's notes.

"If yer music and romance ruins my film then I'll nae work with you again," Conductor threatened, prompting Grooves to laugh.

"As if, darling! It's just the flare your ideas need, to push them that little bit further to-" Grooves paused, doing a small drumroll on the edge of the table "-stardom! But we may have to get more, how should I put it, creative with casting."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I'll put this delicately, darling," Grooves explained. "I just don't think the owls or penguins will cut it for some of the roles we've come up with."

Conductor let out a groan before quickly sipping his whiskey. He placed it back down away from the papers he'd been writing on and away from Grooves.

"I hate ta say it but I agree with yer. We could get that wee lass to come back again," Conductor said, pointing to the movie poster on the wall from his previous movie 'Murder On The Owl Express'.

Grooves nodded thoughtfully, taking a seat on the other side of his desk.

"Yeah, that could work. I know a penguin who might work as that courtesan you wrote-"

"Satine."

"-Yes, Satine, that was it. As I was saying, darling, I know the perfect penguin for the role. And I bumped into one of your owls a while back who might work well as that guy-"

"Christian?"

"-Yes, Christian! That's him! Well, I don't know if you remember one of your employees, Owlice? I think she'd do perfectly, darling, perfectly!" Grooves continued, propping his head in his flippers as he lent on the table.

Conductor pushed his notes to the side of the desk and picked out a new piece of paper, beginning to write down possible roles.

"And this penguin? What's 'er name?" Conductor asked, loosening his tie and undoing the top button of his shirt.

If he was going to be spending the night working on the film then he didn't want to be in such stuffy clothes.

"His name is Pinguini," Grooves replied. "He's an amazingly talented singer. And that role of, what's his name, ah, Toulouse, that would be perfect for your young detective, or, in my preference, the upcoming diva!" He flourished his flippers as he referenced their previous rivalling movies.

"Alright. We've still gotta lot of roles ta fill though. And I donnae think the owls and penguins will be cut out for all of 'em," Conductor grumbled. "We could see if the lass has any friends that might get involved."

"Yeah, yeah, that could work," Grooves mumbled, nodding. "I could try and talk to my contacts and see if they know anyone."

Conductor nodded absentmindedly, mind flitting between scene ideas and possible cast members.

"Darling, where is this 'Moulin Rouge' in the movie going to be filmed?"

Conductor grinned, looking up at Grooves.

"Where else? It's gonna be on The Owl Express!"

#ahit #a hat in time #ahit au #a hat in time au #ahit moulin rouge au #discotrain #a hat in time moulin rouge au #discotrain au #discotrain moulin rouge au #the conductor #ahit conductor #dj grooves #ahit dj grooves

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anthrofreshtodeath · 1 year ago

Note

hmm 15 or 16 (i literally cannot decide) for the otp prompts pls ! can be crossover or not, up to u :)

I picked 15! And since you mentioned the crossover, I went ahead and did that too. It does contain sex, so the majority of it is under the cut. Thank you for the prompt! Find all previous crossover work here.

___

Phones ring nonstop out front in Troop B headquarters for the State Police; it’s nine in the morning and the Staties have just opened up the tip line for the cluster of recently discovered murders. The public knows the FBI is involved, and the public also knows that the authorities don’t really know who committed the crimes right here in idyllic western Mass because, well, they’ve been asked to call in with any information they might have. Meaning the police have next to none.

And so, out of panic, people all over the county are calling into Northampton station in attempt to offer anything that might make the nightmare go away. People call in neighbors, distant family members, strangers off the street that look suspicious, and it’s all expected. Especially in a situation like this: citizens are scared. So they report what they hear through the grapevine and what they think others might be capable of under the right circumstances - either way, you all should keep an eye on him. Somethin’s not right. Something is definitely not right, and one of these callers, god willing, may actually have something of worth. Hopefully soon, given that the most recent killing goes back no more than six months.

At least, that’s what Maura is trying to think about as they receive a team update from Detective Captain Richmond in the conference room. She counts the people in the room, twenty-four, separates them into two groups: people she knows, people she doesn’t. Agent Booth stands with his hands on his hips next to the Detective Captain, Doctor Brennan leans against one of the rolling tables in the back of the room, arms crossed and listening intently.

Jane is right next to her.

Jane is right next to her, arms crossed, legs in a wide stance, erect at her full height. Jane stares intently at the man updating them on both timelines and personnel placement for the next week, and god Jane smells like motel coffee and lavender perfume.

It’s the damn scent that dismantles Maura now, above everything else. And it’s not even mostly the lavender, though that reaches into the deeper recesses of her amygdala and stirs her up. It’s the coffee today. The strong coffee that Jane prefers, despite years consuming Maura’s organic, fair trade beans. It smells burnt, and like control. Like dominance. This is the coffee that brewed at Jane’s apartment whenever Maura stayed the night and got ready for work in the morning, this is the coffee that tattooed her tongue just before Jane left traces of it all down the front of Maura’s skin, traces of it inside Maura before they left for headquarters and Jane drank more from the Homicide department pot by Korsak’s desk.

Combine the coffee with the cowboy posing, unintentional though it is, and Maura crosses her legs to stave off the worst of the want, the one that beats like a drum just under her hips anyway.

“And so if Agent Booth and Detective Rizzoli make any headway in the interviews they have scheduled for today, or we get any promising leads from all the calls we got flooding the lines, we’ll regroup tomorrow, but for now…”

Detective Captain Richmond is drowned out, gets pulled away by the tide of Jane’s whisper in Maura’s ear. “You’re doin’ the thing,” she says, just low enough for Maura to hear.

Maura gulps. She runs a hand through her, as always, impeccably styled hair. “What thing?” she returns, careful to keep her face neutral lest the Detective Captain, or god forbid Agent Booth, look right at it.

“You’re squeezin’,” Jane asserts. Her arms stay folded and her eyes point down to Maura’s crossed ankles. “You’re squeezin’ ‘cause you’re wet. ‘S it my shirt?”

Maura rolls her eyes. “No,” she says truthfully, though she doesn’t expand. The shirt doesn’t help matters, starched and new and white. The best look on Jane because her undershirt, that ribbed tank that hugs all her musculature, bleeds through. But she takes stock of the reactions of her body and Jane is right. Fuck Jane.

Really, though. That’s all she wants to do.

Jane reads Maura’s mind as well as her body apparently. “I know a place,” Jane says. “Meet me over in front of the bathroom right after he shuts up. We won’t get caught.” Then, like nothing has been said, like no rendezvous has been proposed, Jane straightens up and returns all her bulldog concentration to the men up front. Detective Captain Richmond turns the floor over to Booth, who has some updates on the federal side of things, including lab results, and he nods to Jane seriously just before he begins.

She nods back at him, like she’s been all business the entire time.

___

Maura has barely enough time to find an inconspicuous spot to wait by the women’s restroom before Jane appears from around the corner and tugs her toward an unlabeled gray door. Everyone would have heard Maura stumble to keep up if there weren’t carpet below them, the industrial kind that gobbles up all manner of sneaking about. This proves fortuitous for Maura, because as soon as Jane leads her into what is clearly a supply closet, Jane’s tongue swipes across the back of her teeth; Jane’s lips smash against her own. They stumble into a mop bucket, and Maura laughs when the handle of the mop hits her in the back.

“Shh, shh, watch it,” Jane chuckles, too, but she’s whispering just after their kiss is broken. Maura then moans because Jane’s hands rub all over her body. Without shame they roam over hips, her ass, her spread shoulders as they reach up for Jane.

“Jane,” Maura says, an amalgam of admonishment and pleasure. She speaks the name around Jane’s mouth, inside of it, against it. “The janitor’s closet? Really?”

“Genius, right?” Jane teases. “They never lock it,” she explains as she moves one set of fingers to lock the door from the inside. Maura hmphs, feeling distinctly less sexed.

“Not… oh. Not the most romantic of places we’ve come together-” says Maura as Jane returns to her, as she’s picked up by the backs of her thighs and carried through a minefield of cleaning supplies and racks of extra paper products, until she’s deposited on a shelf against the back wall. Her shoulders hit painted cinderblock and she winces because it’s cold just as much as it’s hard.

“Not the least romantic, either,” Jane finishes for Maura, brushing Maura’s blazer away. Jane must have seen Maura shiver, must have already connected it to the wall behind them, because lord knows how she manipulates Maura’s reactions to changes in temperature - nothing extreme, an ice cube slithering down Maura’s spine, candle wax pooling on her belly as she sucks it in from the heat. Jane, a font of ingenuity, uses their surroundings for the same purpose now. “Remember the alley behind The Naked Barmaid?”

Maura sucks on Jane’s lower lip before she scrapes it between her teeth. Jane leans Maura back, settles her even further, and then herself leans in. When Maura arches her back against the coolness, Jane smiles into the kiss. “An unfortunate, but apt, name for a bar,” Maura grumbles. Jane’s hands have fallen off of her again, and even though they’re occupied with tearing away at Jane’s belt, her zipper, Maura can’t help but pout. Jane pushes her pants open just enough for them to drop to around her knees, and Maura’s fingers find the inside of the boyshorts she’d watched Jane put on in their motel room this morning.

“Oh, fuck,” Jane moans this time.

Maura eats it. She uses her free hand to grasp Jane’s jaw, hard, and bites the breath between them, the one the fuck travels on. Jane stares, this time less confident and more awestruck, but she’s not immobile. She uses a rough tug to bring Maura’s thong down to mid-thigh. Fabric stretches; there might have been a rip, but neither of them care. Maura bites her own lip when fingers enter her, and she repays Jane in kind.

They are off to the races.

Soon, Maura grows antsy, writhing when the pleasure-pressure builds, when Jane seems to brush her clit by accident at first, then irregularly, then occasionally. After she rips her sleeveless blouse from its tuck, one arm grips Jane’s shoulders and she kisses a sloppy, wet trail from Jane’s cheekbone to her ear. “I want to take this off,” she pleads. “I want to show you all of me.”

On instinct, both of their gazes drop to her heaving chest. Her breasts are professionally covered, but the tops of them are visible. She presses them towards Jane’s open mouth.

“Uh uh,” Jane says to them. “You’re just sayin’ that because you know bringin’ out those things means I’ll do whatever ya want. And that is not a good idea when all our coworkers are just on the other side of that damn door.”

Maura huffs, the best she can do to concede the point. “Fine,” she says. “Then hurry up. We have work to do.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jane laughs. They do just that, and after a few more frenzied minutes, Jane comes first, and Maura falls apart after.

The kiss they share in the aftermath is slow, and it strings between them, liquid and sweet, before Maura comes forward to start it all over again. “Help me,” she orders when they break again.

Jane nods, and pulls up her own pants. She buckles her belt, but then those hands find Maura’s waist and lower her gently to the floor, until the flat heels of Maura’s boots touch. “You need-?” she begins to ask, and then bends awkwardly to hook her fingers in the elastic of Maura’s thong under her skirt.

“You don’t have to be that chivalrous,” says Maura, smiling when she swats Jane away and pulls her underwear up by herself. “In fact, I need you to leave. Now.”

“Wait, what? I thought we-” the fear on Jane’s face is evident. Maura’s heart skips a beat, thinks back on what she’s done to put it there.

“We need to put time between us,” she clarifies. “In case there’s anyone in the hall. How would it look if we both walked out of here, disheveled and flushed?”

“It’s a broom closet, Maura. Anybody walkin’ outta here who isn’t the janitor is gonna raise some eyebrows,” Jane says. When Maura shrugs, she takes Maura’s face in her hand, rubbing her thumb over Maura’s chin, and kisses her softly. “But I hear ya. I’m outta here. I got work to do anyway.”

“The interviews,” Maura teases with a wink.

“Yeah. Booth and me and the backest of the backwoods,” says Jane as she hangs on the door she’s just opened. “See ya later.”

“See you later,” Maura returns. And speaking of Booth, Maura hears Jane greet him, gruff and sarcastic in their usual style, just as the knob clicks into place. Then, Maura’s enveloped in silence, the kind she likes. The kind that fosters thinking, and she needs to do a lot of that, if the happiness in her chest is any indication.

___

When Booth finally finds Brennan the next day, it is the afternoon, and light trickles into the morgue through the thin trio of windows right above the body storage. She’d called this lab rudimentary, Bones-speak for underfunded and inadequate. And Booth tends to agree, especially because that bozo Pike runs things down here - down here being stuck in 1983, from the coffee colored linoleum to the squeaky autopsy tables and the way he talks to women. Booth isn’t exactly, y’know, feminist of the year, but at least he’s got respect. And if you’re gonna have the audacity to be a chauvinist pig, at least be good at your job.

Booth is distracting himself.

No matter, however, because when he pushes through the swinging double doors, he spots Brennan. One look at her hair up in a bun, her arms folded over her chest in that I’m the boss stance, her head cocked as she judges Pike, and Booth’s heart hammers in his chest.

Pike rambles on about the set of remains, all bone, in the drawer Bones has instructed him to open because he missed that it might be related to the case they’re all running themselves into the ground to solve. She’s mad, and Booth takes a second to pause and imagine Bones’ foot on Pike’s neck.

He revises - Bones’ foot on his neck. Oh boy. “Hey, uh, Bones,” he starts. He clears his throat and takes his voice as deep as it’ll go without being weird. “You - you got a minute? For somethin’ upstairs.”

When they find Booth, Bones’ blue eyes, sharp as always, turn as soft as they had when he and she had finally, finally, spoken through their own insecurities just a few nights ago. The corner of her mouth turns up in the faintest outline of a smile, then he smiles.

He can tell she’s remembering the kiss. That one. The one right before he didn’t go back to his hotel room for the rest of the night and they’d almost gone all the way and now he remembers it, too. They bounce off each other, refracting light, electricity attracted by lightning rods. Changing each other, attracting each other, bending each other.

Booth would like to get to the bending now. Bones seems to pick up on that. “An interrogation?” she asks, her voice exaggerated and playful. Luckily, Pike is an idiot, because he just stares between them, confused, instead of picking up on Bones’ garish gameplay.

“Uh, somethin’ like that,” Booth says. “I’m gonna borrow her for a little bit here, Pike.”

Booth barely resists dragging Bones by the arm, but only because she’s already past him at the door.

“I just pulled these remains!” Pike shouts as the two of them back out the way Booth came.

“Owe ya one!” Booth shouts back. He’s never meant anything less, and he doesn’t even care about the lie when he watches Bones lead the way to the elevator.

___

“I knew… the interrogation was… a ruse,” says Bones, laughing, kissing, breathing all at once against Booth’s lips. He swears he’s never felt anything like it, like the buzz that jumps from his mouth all the way to his hips and back up again.

“So glad you picked up on that,” he tells her with a chuckle of his own. His large hands are under her blouse, one cupping a breast through her bra, the other thumb stroking gently against the small of her back. “Now let’s cut the talkin’.”

No chance of course. And he likes that about Bones. Loves that she doesn’t listen to a damn word he says. Instead, she narrows her brows when she grabs onto his ass. He really, really likes when she does that. “The shape of your glutei are impressive,” she tells him, but then she reaches just below that to feel the insides of his thighs and he yelps. “But your adductor magnus show the most promise.”

“I wish I knew what the… mmm,” he starts, but then her tongue is in his mouth, laying heavy against his own like that’s where the lovemaking starts. “What the hell that means.”

“It means we haven’t consummated,” Bones starts. She shifts her fingers to the front of his slacks when his grip on her own glutei. “And while the broom closet of the State Police isn’t exactly where I want our first time to be, your musculature tells me that it’ll be a good time anywhere,” she says. Booth winces when one hand snaps open his cocky belt buckle, slips down between his pants and his boxers, and wraps around the length of him all in one swift go. “You’re erect,” she snickers, her pursed lips pecking quick, sweet kisses against his cheekbone like she’s pitying him.

He can’t explain why that makes him harder, but he’s gonna push back in some kind of way, just so that he doesn’t minuteman his way through this janitor closet afternoon delight. With his back to the door, he lifts her, tossing her roughly up onto the high shelf in the back of the room. This time, she winces, and then she laughs, too. He calls her out. “Isn’t that the point? And hey, you gotta be so clinic-”

“Oh my god!” comes a voice from the door, and a rush of light floods the dark room, freezing Booth in place.

Oh no.

Normally he’d shoot the person interrupting the farthest around the bases he’s gotten with Temperance Brennan, but his body is the only obstacle between her open blouse and the eyes of whoever just barged in. Plus, you know, the whole erect thing. “Hey, what the hell!” he settles for, and he’s got to admit that it sounds lame, even to him, even in his deep army boom.

“Sorry!” he hears, and that voice he recognizes: Doctor Isles. Maura. Oh Christ. That means the other one… yup. Rizzoli caught so off guard that it rose a couple octaves.

“It’s ok,” Bones calls out, untangling herself from Booth so she can hop back down onto the floor. “We were going to have intercourse, but obviously we’ll come out now.”

Booth stares at her, eyes wide and wild. “You kiddin’ me?! It is not ok!”

“No no, our bad, we’re outta here,” Rizzoli talks over him, and when he turns, adjusting himself, Jane’s got her eyes covered with her hand and the door open juuuust a crack. Her entire body is facing away from the scene and that tickles him a little bit. He almost smiles. Maura’s already gone, clearly, and Rizzoli’s on her way out, too. But not before she snaps, “I told you about this place in confidence, Booth. Christ!”

“Yeah yeah, sorry,” Booth waves her away, the adrenaline wearing off. He’s panting like he’s just run a marathon, and releases an exhilarated little chuckle. When the door slams, he turns to Bones. “She did make me promise not to tell anybody, Bones.”

Bones shrugs, buttoning up her shirt. “You didn’t tell me, you showed me,” she says. She straightens her blazer and has a hand on the door when she turns her head back to him. “I find my libido undeterred despite the interruption. Do you want to take a long lunch?”

“Hell yes,” he says, adrenaline spiking again, putting a pep in his step and a kiss on the back of Brennan’s head as he opens the cracked door for her from behind.

He supposes he can let Rizzoli have this place - finders keepers and all.

#otp prompts june 2023 #rizzoli and isles #bones tv #lauren writes crossover fanfiction #unintentionally edging booth in this snippet whoops #sorry seeley #starting to get more comfortable with b&b now #not super comfortable but better #imagine for this snippet that it is toward the end of this story with Jane and Maura reconciling and B&B getting together #maybe #no timelines!

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mvsicinthedvrk · 1 year ago

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hw event 15 (funky murder mystery time) plot call! hit the 'like' button and i'll send you a plotting message, maybe not today but definitely tomorrow/wednesday at the latest, and we can pick some people to plot with. this will double as a starter call; i'll add threads here as we plot them. (but as a side-note, i probably will drop most non-event stuff once this starts, just for my own sanity. if it's a thread i'm really enjoying i'll keep it but otherwise if it's not hugely plot-related it'll probably get cut, rip)

wei wuxian: this man has died 3 times already, so he's not concerned. also his personal life is going great at the moment, so I can't see him getting too distracted by these murders when he's got better things to do than panic.

wei wuxian starters for: marlene mckinnon (mcrcki)

yuri plisetsky: he is tired of this bullshit. will be compulsively texting his friends and acquaintances to make sure they don't go out alone. will he be investigating? no, because he's a 21 year old, without any background in detective work. but for plots he's more than willing to tell your character that their theories are stupid and ridiculous

yuri plisetsky starters for: lizzie midford (drvcxrys)

orpheus: probably doesn't even know this is happening, tbh. does not read the news, does not eavesdrop on people at the cafe. blissfully living his life without a care in the world.

orpheus starters for: vanellope von schweetz (flyaboveitall), sirena (vcndetta), samwise gamgee (softsliders19)

wen kexing: his security system at home and at work are great. he'll be worried about a-xiang and chengling more than anything, so he'll want to keep an eye out on them/for them, but solving a mystery is none of his business.

wen kexing starters for: zhou zishu (youllalwaysbemyporcelain)

xie lian: xie lian is unfortunately in the category of 'i care too much' and 'let's work together and help solve this, okay?' he is pretty sharp when it comes to solving mysteries, but definitely wants to team up and coordinate with other people, because the more minds working together, the better! he is very optimistic that they can get this wrapped up soon.

xie lian starters for: mu qing (masqce), qi rong (tragcdysewn), ji euntak (spellbcok)

blathers: man is just trying to do his job at the museum, ok. please do not pull him into anything, he does not want to be involved, he is too aware of true crime podcasts to think that his contributions would be useful.

blathers starters for: ahkmenrah (purelybilateral), stede bonnet (softsliders19)

he xuan: this is not his fault. he did not cause this. he will have a few people he wants to keep an eye on but will be minding his own business otherwise.

he xuan starters for: shi qingxuan (irresistiibles), chunyu (tragcdysewn)

sha hualing: murderers? finally some excitement that this city needs. she will be causing problems on purpose, such as purposefully fucking with evidence and trying to leave fake clues for investigators. because that's good, cheap fun.

sha hualing starters for: eddie munson (recklcssabandon)

liu qingge: if he sees someone even vaguely suspicious, he will not hesitate to stab them with his giant fucking sword. so consider your characters warned.

liu qingge starters for: adora (flyaboveitall), anakin skywalker (recklcssabandon)

loid forger: finally a chance to utilize his spy skills! he has not been "officially" put on this case, but in the interests of helping keep the city safe, he will be investigating, so if you want anyone to team up with, give him a call.

dongfang qingcang: let everyone kill each other, he literally does not care. caring is beneath his paygrade.

chu wanning: he'll feel an obligation to contribute, probably by investigating on his own. i don't think he'd want to work with anyone else, because he doesn't want them to get potentially hurt, but that motive probably would not come across well and instead he will most likely come off like a loner asshole, rip

chu wanning starters for: mo ran (tragcdysewn), cisco ramon (vcndetta)

filippa kosta: yeah, they're ambivalent. this shit happens all the time. it is what it is and they just hope they don't get stabbed to and from work, but-- they have decent insurance, so.

filippa starters for: josh washington (purelybilateral), fred weasley (rcquicm)

qi yan: she's suspicious about why this is happening, but trying not to get involved. she works at the white house, so i'm sure tensions there are relatively high. if you have a white house employee character as well, this is a good potential plotting opportunity.

qi yan starters for: leia organa (mcrcki)

kaz brekker: keeping eyes out everywhere. he won't be trying to solve the murders unless someone he knows falls victim to it, but-- he's a good person to bounce ideas off of, because he does know crime pretty well.

kaz starters for: elliot alderson (purelybilateral), inej ghafa (irresistiibles), nikolai lantsov (rcquicm)

mo xi: he'll mostly be wanting to keep an eye out and make sure gu mang doesn't go wandering around alone, stupidly. he'll be concerned about the situation, but one or two murderers can't be that big of a deal, right?

pei ming: no murderers on the loose will keep him from enjoying a good time. he may, in fact, talk his bar owner into throwing a serial killer themed party at the bar one night. bad idea? probably. fun, though? hell yeah

pei ming starters for: victor nikiforov (irresistiibles)

lee rang: look, man is down to use this as an opportunity to cause some chaos, so if you want one of your characters to get injured or psychologically fucked with in some way, we can plot with him.

lee rang starters for: zoya nazyalensky (masqce), lee yeon (youllalwaysbemyporcelain), sabrina spellman (spellbcok)

that's what i've got! hit the like and we'll figure out a couple threads to do during the event 🎉

#hwevent15 #hw: plot call #murder mention tw #death mention tw #weapon mention tw #injury mention tw #long post tw #hw: starter call

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