#literally no one takes out the trash. no one washes the dishes. no one throws old food away. no one goes through the mail.

[greasyslug]

Every time I come home I’m a little more surprised and disappointed by how dirty the house is

[luselih]

mdni- tw. dark content ahead!

i was thinking about yandare!childe… Just imagine him as your (forced) husband, even when you (probably lied) told him that you are infertile to mostly keep him away since he is on every corner you walk into and is not that interested in him and his…crazy ideas to say simply that he just continues smiling as he said “i don’t care, i want you nonetheless” and somehow get you to become his wife in near future.

While you are cleaning dishes in a kitchen or you are hanging the laundry outside to dry in your shared house. He will appear out nowhere to just push your skirt aside and just stick his dick inside you since he prohibited you from wearing any form of panties and just creampie you as he forces you to stay still as he kisses your neck and just talk about his day. He doesn’t even bat an eye when you wince at the stretch or leak his cum since you are overstuffed with it, hell he will finger it back inside. You are practically and literally become his cum dump. Thought entire day while you are doing house work and him there, he will make you take him cum to “carry himself wherever you are”…

It really wasn’t a surprise when you ran out of birth control or morning after pill, he fucks you daily and even couple of times if his stamina isn’t ruined by fighting beforehand. You are fucked up greatly.

I mean, it’s not a big surprise either when crying you look at that pregnancy test that showed two bold lines and throw them in a trash can in denial. Even every single of 5 you took before that one showed up same result. You are pregnant.

You can’t even phantom the thought of becoming a mother, you are too young, too free and have a lot to learn and see before you wanted a family, or even a child of your own to care for. Your life was taken away from you.

Even now you have to play it cool and told him news, after washing away your swollen face and calmed yourself. You exited bathroom and with heavy steps and mind go to your husband to tell him his blessing.

“Ajax…i have something to tell you…”

His smiley face immediately greeting you in a “kiss the cook” apron and fresh smell of pancakes. He beamed.

“Good morning sweets, breakfast is almost ready. What do you want to say? You want something else for breakfast? i can make it-“

“no no no…it’s not that…uhm..i am…i am pregnant…” you said as you tried to not break down, you are just about to ruin your own life.

Unexpected quietness filled up room, not a single word left Childe.

“im so sorry, i-i thought i was infertile and i didn’t know this could happen-it’s okay if you-“

You immediately started apologizing as couple of tears escaped your eyes, you hopped he will be against pregnancy, but luck has really given up on you this time around too.

“fucking finally…finally…i will have a family…thank you archons…thank you..”

Childe said that sentence with so much emotions, those emotions ranged from happiness, possessiveness and gratitude to love and borderline empathy. His hands pulling you close as he kissed you eagerly on the lips and dropped down on his knees as he lifted up your shirt and kissed your lower stomach so gently and softly, but that voice of his at the end of his words made your spine tingle with fear.

“finally all mine…till end.”

[cocklessboy]

Executive Dysfunction Strategy: Find Something

A disclaimer: this strategy (like any executive dysfunction strategy) will not work for everyone. I’m a freelancer who works from home with no set work hours whose work is inherently broken into chunks of 20-40 minutes each. It is perfectly suited to me, but it might not be suited to you. Still, it might help some of you, so I want to share. Pass it around in case it helps one of your followers, and feel free to add helpful tips of your own.

For Ideal Results:

Be at home (or in the environment you’re trying to keep tidy).

Be able to get up from your computer/workspace for 20+ minutes at a time (ie not tied to a work schedule where you must be present for a series of hours without interruption).

Be able to break your work into chunks (20-40 minutes is best, but any kind of work task with built-in stopping points is ideal; ie after one meeting/call, after 1-2 tasks, each time you finish X pages, etc.; if your work has no built-in stopping points, a series of timers/alarms can work, but this is less effective since you’ll be changing gears mid-work and the disruption might cause more harm than good; test it out and see if it works for you).

Find Something:

When you reach the end of a chunk of work (in my case, every time I finish a batch of “episodes” that I’m editing, which is usually 20-40 minutes in total), GET UP and WALK AWAY FROM THE DESK.

FIND SOMETHING to clean. Literally anything.

The critical thing here is that you are NOT trying to clean an entire room or anything. You are looking for ONE thing you can clean. Look around. Is there some trash on your desk? Pick it up and throw it away. Task complete. Are there clothes on the floor? Pick them up and put them where they belong. Task complete. Is the shelf dusty? Get a damp cloth and wipe it down. Task complete. Are there dishes in the sink? Wash them, dry them, and put them away. Task complete. These tasks can take anywhere from 1-30 minutes depending on the task and your schedule.

Go back to work and do another chunk. Repeat the cycle until your work day is done.

This can also be used when you’re working on a project or playing a video game or what have you, just pick a good stopping point rule (every time I finish a page or chapter / every time my character dies or levels up or finishes a level / etc.).

Instead of cleaning, this can also be used for exercise. (I try to alternate between cleaning tasks and sets of push-ups or leg lifts or stretches or physiotherapy exercises or whatever.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year and am now properly medicated. This strategy works best when I take my meds (obviously). However, even on days when I am unmedicated (because my psychiatrist is somehow convinced that taking meds every day is inherently bad even though they are not addictive, have no side effects, and days off are always a misery, but that’s another discussion), I find that this strategy helps tremendously. So if you do not have any kind of medication helping you with executive dysfunction, this is still worth a try. It might work for you.

Before I started working like this, I lived in a mountain of mess. Not because I didn’t care or hate cleaning or whatever, but because I didn’t see the mess until it was overwhelming, couldn’t figure out how to get it clean, and couldn’t make myself start even when I had a cleaning plan. I was trying to tackle a large project head-on from scratch and getting overwhelmed.

Flipping it around so that I have to find SOMETHING to clean, multiple times a day, even something very small, means I’m no longer trying to tackle everything. I’m just doing one small thing. Anything. I’m actively LOOKING for something to tidy, which, shockingly, makes the mess easier to see. It turns it into a little game. I’m not allowed to sit back down until I’ve completely a tidying task. The whole system has built-in triggers to start tasks. I’m not trying to work up the strength to Start Task, I have something external saying “ready set GO” which makes it easier to Do The Thing.

And since I’m doing it consistently, over the course of a couple of weeks my entire flat has become pretty tidy. It’s getting harder to find something to clean each time. I’m doing maintenance now instead of trying to tackle huge projects. I’m washing the dishes even when there’s only one thing in the sink. I’m wiping off the table and vacuuming the floor even when they’re mostly clean. I’m taking out the trash and recycling before they overflow. I’m getting the cobwebs and dust bunnies out of the corners before my cat has a chance to eat them like the little freak he is. And the cat’s litter box gets cleaned out and the floor around it swept every day, because those are quick, simple tasks I always grab first.

There is also the advantage that I’m not SITTING in a CHAIR for the ENTIRE DAY anymore. I’m standing up at least once or twice an hour and walking around and moving my body (and sometimes doing full-on proper exercise instead of cleaning). This has helped with my back and hip pain, my chronic neck and shoulder pain. I have a little more energy because, yeah, cleaning is exercise, even if only light exercise. I’m even very gradually starting to lose some of the extra padding around my thighs and backside and building a little muscle.

If you have the ability to try this strategy even just on the weekends or whatever, give it a shot. I really hope it helps some of you.

Also I’m trans and queer and aroace and I’d appreciate it if any transphobes and other exclusionists could make themselves known in the notes so I can report and block you. 😘

[saph-writes]

Living Together (New Situations, Old Habits)

ao3 link:

Summary: A series of stories following Shidou and Sae living together for the first time. Along the way, they both begin to learn more about each other, and maybe a little about themselves.

Words: 2421

Sae should've thought twice before agreeing to move in with Ryusei. It's very rare that he finds himself thinking that. Usually, he makes every decision with careful consideration and thought. Mistakes are a rare occurrence, as that would require a lapse in judgement. Then again, he did end up giving Ryusei his number years ago, and regretted it immediately when he was awoken early the morning with a text asking for dick pics. He swore up and down later that it was just a joke (a flirty tease apparently) but that didn't make Sae any less irritated. Not to mention that once they started going out, Sae started to see more and more of how Ryusei is really like and to no surprise, he is just as much of a demon off the field than he is on it.

Despite all that, he had somehow been able to convince him to buy an apartment for the two of them, with Sae's money of course, and move in together.

If only he could travel back in time and warn his old self. Actually, maybe he should go back even earlier and make sure he never found out about the blue lock project in the first place, and Ryusei would've never become a problem. Or maybe before then, when he got his first ever offer to Spain. Blissful ignorance actually seems preferable right now.   Sae finds himself questioning everything that has led up to this point as he stands by the door in their new apartment, keys in hand, and stares with a deathly glare at a bobbing head in the kitchen. The kitchen that had been squeaky clean before he left, but now lays as a complete mess.

Everywhere is absolutely filled to the brim with dirty dishes and containers, trash, bits of food literally everywhere (how the fuck did he get some on the ceiling), and unopened bags. Sae shuts the door behind him and sets the keys on the table. The blonde head of hair standing in front of the stove pipes up and turns excitedly. "Sae-chan!" "What the fuck are you doing." Ryusei grins and playfully shakes the spatula in his hand around in the air. "Making dinner for a special someonee... You wouldn't know him though, he's super shy." The spatula throws a bit of dough onto the counter. Sae can feel his eyebrow begin to twitch. "I clean this entire kitchen before I left, how the fuck did you fuck it all up in a few hours?"

Ryusei seems to be feeling extra giddy today, because he just gives Sae a sly smile and shrugs, giggling to himself as he turns back to stir the pot. At least 3 others were piled beside it on the counter. "Dunnoo, maybe someone casted a spell here to curse us... should I put in soy sauce or tomato?"

Ryusei looks thoughtfully up and contemplates. He settles the dirty spoon down on the counter, the white counter, and begins opening the cabinets. His lips twists into a frown. 

"Saee, we don't have-"

"I already bought it. It's in one of those bags." Ryusei grins and Sae catches him moving to open the bags."-Wash your hands first. Disgusting."

Ryusei blinks and notices his hands, all dirty with dried sauces and spices stuck on. While he puts them under the sink, his head bops from side to side, and he's humming a joyful tune. It sounds vaguely familiar to that obscure music Sae always hears him listen to. He turns back to Sae. "All done~"

"Okay, now help me clean up."

"I need to finish our special meal first though." Sae is more than willing to eat takeout for the fifth time that week, but he complies nonetheless. 

"Alright. And how long will that take."

"Hmm.." Ryusei playfully taps his chin and closes his eyes, as if he was deep in thought (as if he had more than two braincells). "Welll.. if you're nice, maybe another hour. Then, as the chef, I can graciously welcome you to my kitchen for our special dinner."

"You mean my kitchen?"

"Our kitchen," Ryusei corrects, shooting him another toothy grin.  He grabs the soy sauce out of the bag and dumps some of it into the pot, splattering bits on the stove.

Sae was nearly fed up. "I'm going to kill you-" However, before he has the chance to strangle him (though he doubts Ryusei would count that as a punishment), his pocket starts vibrating and sending a obnoxiously loud ringtone. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and glances at the caller ID. Then, taking a deep breath, Sae calmly walks towards the door. "Oh? I thought you were going to kill me?" Ryusei says. He has a look of amusement, like he is excited to see he got a rise out of the usually calm and calculated Itoshi Sae. Sae gives him another death glare. "Clean this up before I come back in." "Will do~" Sae gets a final look at Ryusei turning back to the stove and jumping cautiously before he closes the door. Two days in, and he is already regretting moving in with someone with the mental intelligence of an 8-year old. But, he does do what he is told, and always seems weirdly happy about it, something that made Sae tolerate him a little bit more. At least more than other people his age. The phone is still ringing. Sae leans against the hallway of their apartment building, rests his head on the wall, and answers the call, discarding all those unnecessary thoughts and concerns that floated around in his head. ~ He ends up being out much longer than expected. The call lasted for about an hour, dealing with important matters from the club, and afterwards he was forced to help out an old lady move in some boxes. (He tried to get out of it, but this lady was tone-deaf or something because she kept insisted repeatedly. Sae was about to tell her to fuck off when he realized that Ryusei had locked the door with his keys inside, because of course he did.) By the time he finished, it had been nearly 2 hours, and Sae is ready to come in and see another mess even worse than the last. He is already mentally preparing to get the cleaning supplies he had brought a few days before just for this very occasion. Bracing himself, Sae violently shakes the doorknob to their apartment. The door flies open. There appears Ryusei, leaning against the doorframe with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He even has the audacity to give him a wink. "Hey there, you come here often pretty boy?" "Let me in." As expected, Ryusei does as he was told. He has on the apron he had worn while cooking, even though it was technically Sae's, and his back hair is pulled back behind a headband. The apron is covered in dark stains and powder and so are parts of his sleeves and t-shirt appearing underneath. At least he has the decency to wear casual clothes beneath his apron. Sae steps into the apartment. However, as he looks around the place (their place), he raises an eyebrow.

The apartment isn't in shambles. The furniture is still standing, and nothing is on fire. The kitchen counters are perfectly clean, along with the stove and table. They look like they have been wiped down and the bits of trash that have been scattered all over have all been thrown away. Even the dishes and pots are washed, leaving the sink completely empty and organized. Sae moves towards their small dinner table for two that sits in between the kitchen and tv area. A skinny glass vase stands in the middle, perfectly distanced between the two chairs. In it, a single red rose. Sae didn't remember buying- Two arms wraps around his waist.

Sae jumps. His body goes on edge, tense, until he looks down and spots two familiar blond hair strands out of the corner of his eye. A head leans on top his shoulder gently, pressing a light weight on his back. "You've been gone all day," Ryusei whispers. "I thought we'd eat dinner together, just the two of us."  His voice is so uncharacteristically soft that Sae has to repeat his words again in his head to fully register it. For a moment, he wonders if Ryusei was acting this way because he wants something. It wouldn't be the first time it had happen. But something about the way he holds his arms loosely around him and his movement rocking them back and forth tells him he was being genuine. It would explain his giddiness from before, too.  Sae leans in against him. "That's because you decided to kick someone during practice and got yourself suspended for a week."  "What else what I supposed to do? I was getting bored, no one there could make my heart explode. Not in the way you can, Sae.."

Of course they couldn't.. Sae thinks, but doesn't say. Ryusei doesn't say anything either.

The two of them fall into a mellow silence.

Ryusei shifts to position his head, and begins to hum a rhythm, presumingly the same song he had been humming just a few hours earlier. Sae is able hear it clearly right against his ear, where Ryusei is leaning his head against Sae's neck.

It is so clearly out of tune, not following any beat whatsoever. Completely disorganized, appearing in absolute disarray. And yet, a richness lays beneath the melody, one that if Sae listens closely, he could feel the notes as if they are coming right off sheet music. Then it came to him that Ryusei probably isn't trying to imitate the song he has in his head, but is instead adapting it to his liking. Changing bits and pieces of it in his own, unique way. 

It is a rhythm made solely for him, one that he is sharing with Sae at this very moment. 

As if he knew what Sae is thinking, Ryusei holds him closer, and hums the rich tune just a bit softer.

This isn't the same kind of flirty touch Ryusei usually gave when they were alone. Sae could tell that there is no underlying desire in his embrace, but rather a kind of comfort and protective hold containing nothing but affection. It is a touch that lives for the moment, for the simple wish of having him in his arms. They could've been there, laced together, for a few minutes or hours, it doesn't seem to matter, only that his arms were around him. That is all the two of them needed.

It is a feeling that lingered even after Ryusei pulls away and steps in front of him. He has a large stupid smile on his face. "My, my, who do we have here? You want me to pull the chair out for you, pretty boy?" Sae bares no reaction to Ryusei's usual flirtatious antics, but a smile inevitably escapes him. And like that, it was enough for Ryusei.

Ryusei grabs his hand and tugs him towards the chair. Sae decides to play along and sits down. Now that he thinks about it, he actually curious to see what Ryusei has made. The last time he cooked their meal, it was nearly inedible. Sae held that over his head for ages while ignoring the fact that he can't cook either. After all, it had been amusing to see Ryusei try to disprove him.  Sae looks at the table's surface, which already has plastic utensils placed in each of their spots. He knows damn well that they had metal spoons and forks in one of drawers. But as he stands up to get them, he was pushed back down into his seat. "Hold on, I'm almost done."

Irritated, Sae taps his fingers impatiently against the table. There are sounds of shuffling occurring behind him and footsteps moving up and down. Eventually, a presence appears right behind his seat and he sees a plate come down from above his head to be settled before him. It is a white ceramic plate, and on it is golden-colored noodles, glistening with a sauce poured all over. It is complimented with the typical side of white rice and vegetables covered in soy sauce. It even contained mushrooms, which were one of his favorite foods. In fact, he realizes he greatly enjoys all of the foods Ryusei has picked for tonight, and Sae can only faintly recall a time where he has mentioned it at all to him. Perhaps around the time they had started texting, years ago, when Sae had told him about his particular notions towards food. Ryusei sits across from him with a very similar plate. He sets down two glasses filled with red wine for the two of them and takes a sip from his glass. His apron is gone and he has even somehow had the time to change into a cleaner shirt. Quiet, ambient music plays in the background. In the just the span of a few hours, Ryusei has been able to turn their bare apartment into a place Sae thinks he would never want to leave. 

He catches Sae's eye and shoots him a winning smile. 

"What, you too impressed to speak?" That flirty tone is back, and combined with the earlier realization still turning in his head, Sae looks away. He takes in a large forkful of noodles and swallows hastily. After all these years, Sae could still feel flustered from something Ryusei did or said. It was like magic, a spell casted upon him to make something that has never existed before blossom inside him, like the rose that sits between them. It's a feeling he doesn't think he's felt since he's been thrown into the world-stage as a young teen. As Ryusei and Sae comfortably sit and eat ("the rice's overcooked." "aw you love it~"), talking about their day one moment and sitting in peaceful silence in another, Sae finds that he no longer regrets his decision.

This progression of events that has led him up to this point feels like it has always been met to happen. It's as natural as the setting sun and rising moon, a seed taken away from its dying mother to be planted again, a slow but worthwhile act of something lost being found. In fact, he thinks it's the best one he's ever made.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Wifey comes home today and the dogs don't know it so they officially hit peak wretched baby behavior yesterday and have slumped into depressed baby behavior today. I do have work today but it's my short day so I'm thinking after I'm done with work and before I head to the airport with doggos to pick up wifey, I'll wash dishes and dogs.

That way wifey doesn't feel like the house is exactly as she left it you know? I definitely know it's not in worse shape I was very careful to always clean up my presence, but I want her to not have to clean up things that were here a week ago when she left either cuz that sucks and just because I was busy and had a hard time getting around to them shouldn't make them her problem. Most things like that aren't a big deal, or are things we specifically planned for (e.g. she emptied the litterbox right before she left and it's self cleaning so it only needs to be done once a week) but the dishes were a fluke that snuck by us in the last couple days before she left and then I literally never once had the spoons to get to them (heh) while Wifey was gone. Which I expected! I kinda figured that I would either do them all on Friday or maybe if I was very lucky do 1 round a dayon the others. So at least I'm on schedule lol.

Anyway, I did also clean the tub this week, and pick up the laundry in the bathroom, so I figure I might also do a quick wipe down in bathroom (sink, toilet, tub, sweep floors, take out trask) since it usually only takes 15 minutes and would make the whole room look really nice at this point. That plus shiny dishes and dogs is bound to make wifey happy coming home.

Anyway, my morning plans are as follows:

throw chili in the crock pot for dinner tonight

maintenance clean of bathroom

first round of dishes

take out the bedroom and bathroom trashes

refill pet water fountains

Extra Credit: unpack the monthly grocery grocery delivery and confirm their allergen listings

So far I'm over 100% on my tasks today and feeling great about it!

In the next hour I've got some work tasks to do, a little documentation stuff to prep for the day basically, and then it's off the the races for my short day with clients, my one on one, and then me getting the dogs ready for the evening!

Managed to finish all of my work prep stuff even the thing I was sure I wouldn't manage! So yay to that! We're still at "all essential AND all extra credit tasks completed" for each phase of my day so far, though obviously I'm not gonna elaborate on the work stuff for privacy reasons.

Feeling good about the day, feeling good about my ability to get shit down now that I've been back on my meds for a week, feeling pretty good overall! I do think I might be headed for a no show today but I'm fine with that because it'll just give me an extra 45 min for dishes and one less note to write before I switch over to household tasks this afternoon.

I am contemplating doing an extra credit task of throwing on new sheets and remaking the bed fresh and clean for wifey since Jaxxine crunched her yams all over this one all week on top of chewing on the fitted sheet like a pacifier to calm herself lol. But we'll see how that goes.

I've managed to get both blankets into the wash, and the quilt is already in the dryer, so I figure I'm definitely remaking the bed now. I'm most of the way through the tough jobs and then all that's left is the easy or fun ones. I do have to leave in about 3 hours tho, so I'm definitely running low on time. Gotta prioritize a bit and wittle down my remaining tasks. Dinner's all set but for some rice if we decide to make it. I may just empty the dish rack and not worry about washing a 3rd load unless I finish everything else in time. Jaxx definitely needs a bath next, then the tub a wipe down, the pets fed, and me a shower. At that point we're likely to be ok the edge of time so I'm thinking remake the bed and then kitty fun den and then prep the dogs for our trip.

After work plans are as follows:

2-3 more rounds of dishes 1 more round of dishes

bathe the lassie (START WITH THE LAD)

Feed the dogs dinner

bathe self

wipe down tub

build kitty fun den with dinner and treats

pick up wifey from her trip

Extra Credit: wash the blankets dry the blankets

Extra Credit: remake the bed with fresh sheets and blankets

[lovemesomesurveys]

[brelee @ bzoink]

Do you know anyone currently pregnant?   I don’t think so. 

Have you ever fallen in public?   Yes, several times. Not fun. 

Did you ever own those moon shoes?   No, I couldn’t wear those. My brother had them, though. They were pretty cool. 

What were some toys you enjoyed in your childhood?   Oh, I was a Barbie girl all the way. Like we’re talking obSESSED.

Do you enjoy dancing or going to clubs?   I like “dancing” or whatever it is I attempt to do in the privacy of my home, haha. I don’t enjoy the club scene at all. 

Take this space to appreciate someone or something in your life. I could never express just how much I appreciate my mom and everything she has done for me. There’s just not enough words. I would be completely lost without her. Even now at 33 she’s had to be caretaker and I see how how hard she works between a full time job, taking care of me, being there for my brother and dad, cleaning the house, going grocery shopping, and running errands not just for herself but for a family friend. I don’t know how she does it all. She is truly what keeps me going. I hope one day I’ll be able to do something nice that she would love. She deserves so much. I am just so blessed to have my mom and I love her more than anything.

Do you have any plans in the upcoming weeks?   No. 

What have you done to treat yourself lately?   I haven’t done anything to treat myself lately. 

What's your favorite thing to do when the weather is bad?   Bad how? If it’s bad as in miserably hot then I stay indoors with my fans on all day and try to go to the beach as much as possible. If you’re talking rainy, cold weather, then I love the coziness of it with a hot drink and wrap myself up in a cozy blankie. I love that kind of weather.  Do you enjoy going to the park?   No. I don’t enjoy just sitting outside with bugs flying all around. Or being hot or dealing with windy weather. None of that is my thing. My only exception is the beach, where I’ll spray on some OFF and spray around me and just chill in my tent. That’s much more tolerable for me.

Do you have any allergies?   Yes, apart from seasonal allergies I am allergic to tangerines. 

Which is more dreaded.. doing dishes or cleaning out the fridge?   Washing dishes is disgusting If there’s old food left on it. Especially if there’s like bread or something and it’s soggy lflsdfjlsdfjl *BARF* I also am grossed out by cleaning out the fridge. Some things don’t bother me like a bag old shredded cheese that I just toss in the trash or something like that, but old food saved in tubber ware.... no, nope, no way. I will set it on the counter and let my mom or dad handle it lol. I would literally throw up if I even attempted to it myself. 

Do you blast music while driving or do you find that annoying? I like to have it at a reasonable level. 

Do you know anyone named after each season?   I don’t know anyone named after a season. I do love the names Autumn and Winter, though. 

What's the last thing you had to write down?   I don’t recall the last thing I wrote by hand, but apart from this survey I last typed a note on my phone.

If you had to cook a meal, what would you make?   I don’t cook so you’re getting ramen or sandwiches, ha. And I haven’t even cooked or made anything myself in almost a year due to hospital stays and being basically bedridden. Sooo, you’ll have to wait a bit for that sandwich and ramen meal, ha.

What time do you normally feel most awake?   There isn’t a time I feel most awake. I’m always tired.

Do you ever do breathing exercises?   I was supposed to be ever since I came home from the hospital last August because while there I had a breathing tube and then a trachea tube for 3 months so I had to strengthen my lungs again. Of course, being the loser I am, practiced a few times in the beginning but that quickly went out the window. I should get back into that...

What was the last thing you cleaned?   I don’t recall.

Have you ever had a concussion?   No.

What do you think of TikTok?   I love TikTok. There’s so many different things on there and I can find myself getting caught up in one thing to another. Plus I enjoy keeping up with the ones I follow. 

Are you able to rap fast?   No.

What have you been doing today? other than surveys :p   I was on TikTok, I watched some TV, ate, and watched YouTube. 

What questions do you enjoy answering?   I like surveys like these. I want to be able to elaborate and even ramble if I feel like it. A lot of times a question will prompt me to go on a huge rant/ramble/venting session. 

Would you consider your life to be chaotic or more chill?   It’s been very chaotic for awhile now.

Do you prefer long or short sleeve tops?   Like short sleeves that go to like mid arm. I like long sleeves too when it’s cold, but I don’t want the sleeves to just hit my hand at that’s it, I want to be able to pull them over my fingers. I don’t want the sleeves to go up when I lift my arms. It’s hard to find a good fit sometimes because I have long arms. I usually have to size up.

When was the last time you had a bellyache?   Sometime recently. 

Are you close with your siblings? if you don't have them, do you wish you did?   I am.

What are 3 essentials in your pantry right now?   Canned veggies and beans, pasta noodles and sauce, oatmeal. 

What's something you are thankful for?   My family.

Have you ever seen a tsunami in person?   Noooo. Omg, just the thought is terrifying.

How many mirrors are in your house?   I don’t feel like thinking about it and trying to count them in my head, but we have several. 

Do you enjoy cloud watching?   It’s not something I do.

Have you ever held a wild animal?   No.

Do you enjoy playing uno?   Sure.

Is it currently nighttime where you are?   No, it’s 6:12PM and still quite light out.

What was the last thing you broke? I could go deep with this, but nah.

Would you consider yourself to be naive?   In some ways.

What's a song you've had on repeat recently? I don’t tend to play songs on repeat.

[frillyfacefins]

I'm so tired and I'm hungry and cold and I should stand up, close the window, and make food, but there are so many fucking steps involved...

close the window: the frame is broken and it takes literally 5-10 attempts to close it properly without having an opening at the side

I need to find out if the food I warmed in the rice cooker yesterday has gone bad

I need to throw away the food in the rice cooker, but to do that I have to

get one of the big trash bags so I can put the overflowing one from the trash in the kitchen in there

put a new trash bag into the kitchen trash

heat water in the water heater

oh shit I just remembered I think there are still dishes from yesterday in water in the sink

so I have to do that befoer I can heat water

okay back to the water

heat water, get pot, make water boil in pot

find salt

add salt

put salt back in its place

find scissors

open pack of fresh noodles

find smaller pot

find sieve

warm up chili

hope chili hasn't gone bad

put noodles into boiling water

wait

drain noodles

do I have a clean cooking spoon to stir the chili?

otherwise use table spoon

don't leave table spoon in the pot and burn hand

find clean plates

put everything on the plates with the table spoon bc I know I don't have a washed laddle

go back into living room

eat

[thirtheenprimes]

Only political shit I'll ever do, and I'd just like to point out how Tumblr political posts work that's frustrating and why I'm blocking that shit.

"Liberals are stupid because they don't realize both candidates are bad and the democratic candidate is also a war criminal that hates humans. I'm not going to explain what I think you should do instead, I'm just going to bitch about people saying that voting matters in any way, and I'm going to try to make you feel bad about trying to pick the lesser of two evils. Instead of addressing the fact that boycotting elections really doesn't work and even try to suggest what I expect people to do instead, I'm ONLY going to explain why liberals are wrong and stupid."

Yeah, democrats aren't exactly great either, but that doesn't change the fact that voting republican in this day and age is significantly worse. Democrats win, you still have bombings and bad policies and shit, but you are also throwing a wrench into the republica cult bullshit and give our country a better chance of changing. Thins aren't going to magically get better with the "perfect" candidate, and waiting for that is going to make everything worse. And I guess I can't speak for others that intend to vote blue, but I am under no circumstances trying to say that voting blue is where "activism" stops. That's not going to fix shit. No one thinks voting blue is the solution, but that's not the fucking point. The fucking point is doing the literal bare minimum not to enable things getting worse.

If you need to clean your house after having a shitty roommate that never cleans and throws parties and let fucking roaches start living in the kitchen, and you only have enough time to do one chore that day (or week, whatever) are you going to roll up your sleeves and pick up the trash even though that doesn't get rid of the roaches, or are you going to bitch about having a filthy roommate and spend your time online instead of doing literally the bare fucking minimum?

I've seen a few FEW even suggest alternative activism, like actual protest or calls to action, or whatever, and in my house cleaning metaphor that's like going out shopping to stock up on trash bags and cleaning spray and shit, maybe organizing your junk, but not actually addressing the very real and immediate "just clean up so it doesn't get worse".

Maybe in this metaphor, voting blue is more akin to washing any new dishes you're making instead of piling them up on the dishes already in the sink for "later". Like, don't bother voting, we're already calling and protesting and trying to do activism that is both slow and so far not very successful, so eventually the person in charge will be better there's no reason to avoid letting a literal cult figure head back in office. Don't bother doing the dishes, eventually someday my executive disfunction will let me clean all of it in one big go.

Then of course there's the people saying "we just need to burn it all down and create a system that isn't inherently awful and bad", which, yeah. Okay. You're right that would be great. So glad you're on the same page as the rest of us, but come back when you acknowledge that burning your house down to get rid of the roaches and trash and probably black mold in the walls is just not going to happen. Like, realistically, in the real world, that's just not going to happen. We can talk about it all da and how correct you are, you can have all the correct points you want, you can win that game, but you do know that is just not going to happen, right? And waiting for THAT is like waiting for your parents to suddenly take responsibility for everything they fucked up with you, on their own, and pay for all your therapy.

I'm just tired of seeing all the arguments saying "liberals are stupid as fuck because they don't realize their candidate is also Bad(tm) and they need to stop telling people it's important to vote blue". They know their candidate has flaws. They're just don't worship their candidate like a fucking cult.

If you aren't going to vote blue, what the fuck are you going to do? Vote red? Vote on a third party (which is basically voting red)?

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

im so sick and tired of my fuckin Ma actin like EVERYTHING wrong w this damn house is my fault. her moemys gone missin? oh its bc i set the money in front of her instead of handin it to her, even tho when i usually try n hand her the money she gesrures for me to set it down. or if she sent me money via Cashapp, she accuses me of not sendin her change back even tho i DO and even if i dont immediately do it(usually bc shes requested me to go to do smth for her after sendin me in this obnoxiously hot weather to the store for her bc she didnt feel like it) i send it to her when i notice. the kitchens constantly a mess bc my bby brother lets his friends in durin the middle of the night? my fault bc ofc im suposed to check the kitchen every. sinlge. fuckin. night. to male sure irs not dirty, even 1 piece of trash will get her wakin me up at 4 o FUCKIN clock in the mornin to "clean this mess up right NOW". the trash can outsides overflowin? ovbiously my fault bc ofc IM the one who tosses trash into it(im not. we dont have and indoor trashcan bc my siblings will let it sit there and not throw it out when needed. my Ma, one of my brothers(oldest of the boys, 2nd oldest of all of us), n i where the only ones to do it n she got fed up n told us to toss the trash into he bin outside). so OFC when she TAKES THE FUCKIN TRASH/RECYCLIN OUTVE THE BIN BC ITS OVERFLOWIN IVE GOTTA BE THE ONE TO PICK IT UP BC IVE MOBVIOUSLY MADE THE MESS bc apparently gettin no job interviews for like 3-5 months means that im a FUCKIN maid in this fuckin house.

she even has the nerve to call me lazy when she sends me to the store to buy her shit she quite honestly doesnt need on account of her shit health. she has the NERVE to order WEED in my name and make me pick it up(no clue Y shes doin it in my name when she HAS the money and an ID of her own to use her own fucjin identity. i dont even smoke weed bc it triggers my asthma, which she usually acts as if it wasnt real even tho ive been diagnosed fuckin twice). she has the audacity to complain about messes when she refuses to actually TEACH her younger kids(or in her words "MY kids" bc she doesnt TRULY consider me her own even tho im her 1st born child) how to actually properly clean and instead makes ME do it bc im actually good at cleanin(havin learn from a mix of trial and error from her and actually bein taught by my Gma(dads Ma) who actually probs hated me bc i would forget to wash my dishes as a 6-9 yr old).

im tired of bein accused of bein lazy, of bein used and abused, of bein unable to say no bc i cant afford to leave this gods forsaken house. i jus want to leave and be left alone. i literally used to fantasize about bein kidnapped and takin away, either by aliens or smth/someone else. im tired. im so tired. i feel like im slowly dyin everysingle day and i cant even say anythin bc my Ma will downplay it like i cant experience pain bc its not like hers. like i cant be depressed bc i show it differently than her. like im not tryin my fuckin hardest to jus survive. im so fuckin tired

[tramontane-fire]

A passive aggressive list of housekeeping tips aimed at YOU, roommate #5

- when the trash is overflowing like literally the trash is stacked ten inches or more above the bin, you can take out the trash and, if you're feeling very ambitious, put a new bin liner. It is not advised to keep stacking trash in an ever more precarious trash mountain that will inevitably fall and cause a mess.

- when cooking, it is not only possible but very easy to put dirty pots and pans in the sink with soapy water after use instead of leaving them on the stove and counter. Maybe even wash them or something.

- when eating in the living room, it is very bad manners to leave dirty dishes and takeout containers on the couch that other people use. Your momma doesn't live here. Styrofoam containers go in the trash (see above), and dishes go in the sink (above). Again, maybe even try washing some dishes if you're feeling adventurous.

- AND FURTHERMORE

- moldy tupperwares, the community tupperwares I might add, that have gotten moldy because you left your leftovers in the fridge for weeks, need to be thrown out. Not left on the counter for days, presumably hoping someone else would wash them because when you were told to throw them out due to the moldy plastic you were dismissive but made no move to wash anything yourself.

- if you ruin community property such as the good tupperwares you should replace it

- I hope no one ever marries you.

[dprpnshmntlf]

My wife used to get embarrassed about punishing me. She would try to punish me, but then lose her nerve and give up.

Then one day she made a list called “50 Ways My Husband Threw Away His Dignity” to document some of the things she has done to me and provide precedence for the way she should treat me all the time. Writing this out completely changed her perspective:

He gets spankings

Despite the fact he has several inches on me, I have completely overpowered him on several occasions

Despite the fact he has more than 50 pounds on me, I have pinned him down, many times

Even though he’s bigger than me, countless times I have spanked his fat, flabby ass until he was kicking and screaming, but he was completely powerless to stop me

I have spanked him with my belt

I have spanked him with his own belt

I have spanked him with the wooden spoon

I have spanked him with my hairbrush

I have paddled him

I have spanked him until he begged me to stop spanking him

I have spanked him until he promised to be “a good boy”

I have spanked him until he cried and his bottom was bruised

I have spanked him over his underwear

I have spanked him over his little baby boy briefs with cartoon patterns

I have spanked his bare bottom

I have made him wear girl’s panties

I have spanked him in girl’s panties

I have made him wear tights

I have made him wear a dress

I have spanked him in his dress

I have made him stand in the corner for a time out to reflect on his behavior

I have made him stand in the corner after a spanking

I have made him stand in the corner with his red bare bottom hanging out

I make him stand in the corner on a pee pad, so he can relieve himself during his timeouts

My husband needs diapers

I have diapered him

I punish him with extra time in diapers

I have spanked him in diapers

I have made him stand in the corner in his diapers

I have watched him wet his diaper

I have forced him to wet his diaper

I have spanked him in wet diapers

I have changed his wet diapers

I have laid him on his back, with his knees tucked into his chest, so I could fill his naughty boy bottom with a fleet enema

I made him stand in front of me, squat to bend over and stick out his bottom, and then release his childishly loud enema into his diaper

I have made him wash dishes, while he releases his enema into his diaper

I have made him stand in the corner, while he releases his enema into his diaper, then stay in his stinky diaper until I was ready to change him

I have made him take out the trash, still smelling like a stinky diaper, wearing clothes that do very little to conceal the saggy, used baby’s garment

I have used literal baby wipes to wipe his bare, smelly bottom, while his legs were lifted up to the roof for his diaper change

I have applied liberal amounts of baby powder to his bottom; mostly during a change, but sometimes pouring it down the back of his diaper between changes to temporarily mask his stink

I have spanked his bare bottom during a diaper change

I make my husband sit and eat dinner while wearing nothing but his diapers

I make him wear a bib

I make him drink from a bottle

I have sent him outside in diapers

I have sent him outside while his thick diapers with babyish patterns were peeking out of the back of his shorts without him realizing

I make him wear diapers on long car rides

I have watched my husband throw full blown toddler temper tantrums in public

I have spanked his bare bottom in the backseat of my car

I have excused us from a public setting so I could take him to a private/semi-private location to spank him, then change him into a punishment diaper to match his childish behavior, before returning to the public setting

[mer-se]

How do you experience panic attacks I wonder if that’s what’s happening to me at night and early in the mornings

Oh boy this is gonna be long.

Cortisol levels are higher in the morning so it’s sort of normal to feel anxious in the morning! If I have something stressful to do and i’m up early for it I can’t even eat I’ll like gag. But I also have generalized anxiety and other craziness as well. I don’t have panic the same way I once did. Everyone experiences them differently! Some people cry and literally freak out, some are just quiet. Panic attacks are usually random and from pent up unresolved anxiety. Someone who didn’t know me well probably wouldn’t know I was having an issue aside from getting shaky. Mostly because I’m deeply self aware to my own detriment and will never make a scene or make myself look a mess so I internalize everything. I don’t like medical things and have had a lot of that recently and internally am stressed but on the outside it looks like I’m chillen, like unless you really know me you wouldn’t know fully, that’s probably why I’m not always babied by strangers (which is great for me) I don’t want that and it makes it worse. I do well actually in stressful situations/environments and on my own in them at times because without a source of familiar comfort it makes me flip a switch in my brain to look/be brave as fuck, because what I’m not gonna do is embarrass myself ever and I can pull a good poker face. Growing up I went through a lot alone and I can go back to that place and deal with a lot and rely on lil ol me to get through it, but gonna need all the comfort after. It’ll just take a lot out of me physically after. Mine have gotten so much better and it’s more rare now. I mostly just get extremely nauseous and feel like I’m probably going to die immediately, and it’s random like I can be washing dishes and get a wave of doom wash over me and internally am like running from a bear in the woods but standing at my sink. When I use to get them bad a couple years ago I’d get them at night and would have to lay down and like sweat it out basically, lasted for hours back then. It’s just your fight or flight response misfiring, but it literally feels horrible and I wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone, takes a lot out of you, like ur body is reacting to danger and there’s a lot of physical symptoms, and that dread ooof gurl. I can cope wayy better with it now but you never can get use to the initial feeling. If you’re going through this I promise it’ll get better, in 2019 I took cold medicine and got really drunk and ended up in the er from what was like a bad reaction/medicine induced panic attack it was terrible, after that I was having them like daily for months. Was a nightmare, because I didn’t know what was happening it took a long time but I climbed out of it and I very rarely have them now and if I do I can get it together. I had a mild one at work this past winter randomly and just paced around and felt like throwing up but didn’t, and made it through and still did my work. I actually went and took the trash out to the dumpsters in the dark (cold air helps). I don’t let it like devastate my life anymore and that’s kind of key, not giving it so much power. They don’t scare me as much now so I can get over it faster and now they don’t happen as much. Anxiety feeds off anxiety. It’s just your body trying to protect you unfortunately it’s bad timing and feels not good. A misfire. I take way better care of myself now. I take magnesium (glycinate or taurate) for my anxiety and it help me a lot, also walking and doing cardio helps. You’ll come out of it promise, it just takes time.

[mortuarybees]

eternally torn between “i’m not going to do a grown man’s chores for him” and “i’m not going to let my mother spend her whole life cleaning up after a grown ass man”

[blueicequeen19]

Cabin Fever Pt. 1

Four weeks. At least. That's how long I was going to be stuck in the Chateau with John B and JJ. The tension was thick in the air. They didn't want me here and I didn't want to be here. We'd been hit with a hurricane and COVID, so on top of storm damage, we were supposed to quarantine together and avoid going out in public. They were making it hard though. I'd rather than be anywhere but here. The hostility in the air was enough to have me on edge every damn day. They constantly fought. You'd think they were real siblings. They slammed doors and broke dishes and threw punches, throwing me dirty looks like it was my fault. They were nice enough to let me stay in his dad's old office and I never wanted to leave the room except there was quite literally nothing to do. The TV was in the living room and I had to eat. I couldn't wait to not be trapped with these two.

When they weren't fighting, it seemed like they were flat out avoiding me. I'd walk into a room, one or both would walk out. I tried to cook dinner every night but it resulted in me eating alone while they went out to the porch. I wondered what would happen when they ran out of beer and weed. Maybe if I had something to take the edge off too, I could convince myself this was all in my head. To make it even better, there was one bathroom. I'd rather wash off in the hose than face off with the hostility that comes when I spend too much time in there. John B was nicer than JJ but only barely. I'd catch John B giving me lingering looks or watching me and he'd smile when I caught him. Whereas, when I caught JJ he'd only glare at me like I was yesterday's trash. I didn’t understand what the problem was and why it was directed at me.

I woke up with a start, a pulse between my thighs from an intense wet dream. My mouth was dry and I could barely swallow so I crept down the hall towards the kitchen when I heard a moan that stopped me dead in my tracks, heat racing down my spine. I listened, trying to find the source but all the lights were off and I couldn't see anything. I stop outside JJ's door, the sound of skin on skin coming faster as he panted. Oh, God. He was masturbating. I go to turn away when I run into something solid. The bare chest of John B, sporting his own erection. I open my mouth to explain when he shakes his head, holding up a single finger to my lips as we listen to his friend. John B carefully puts my back against the wall, his dark eyes raking down my body with more heat than I'd ever seen. I follow his gaze, realizing I'm in just my tank top and panties, trapped in a house with two horny guys.

"John B." I barely whisper but he shakes his head again, dark hair falling in his eyes as he eats me up with his stare. I feel my nipples harden to points, poking out of my tank top as the pulsing between my thighs intensifies almost painfully. I suck in a breath as he frees his cock, fisting it hard as he presses his body against mine. His thumb tugs my panties down just enough that he presses his hot tip against my clit, forcing me to jerk up on to my toes. I stare at him with wide eyes as he starts to rub circles with his cock. My body shakes violently as JJ starts to grow louder. John B keeps his eyes down, as he watches his movements as I try to fight off the orgasm that's quickly approaching. I put my hands against his chest, digging my nails in and earning a grunt from him as I brace myself. It was too much. Listening to JJ pleasure himself on the other side of the wall, John B rocking himself against my clit with heavy breaths. My hands move up to his shoulders as he moves quicker, harder; hissing as my nails break the skin as I lift up higher on my toes. My body explodes with euphoria, wetness gushing from me as I shake untrollable while trying to remain quiet and I hear JJ cum next with a groan. Then John B spews on to the hood of my pussy, his face scrunched up in an angry snarl as he jerks his cock hard. I don't move my hands from his shoulders as he finally meets my eyes while pulling my panties back up, trapping his cum. His eyes move to my lips and he leans in, letting his lips brush over my cheek and to my ear.

"He's going to be so mad when he finds out." John B whispers, brushing my hands off and disappearing back down the hall as I fight to remain upright. Finds out what!?

The next morning I wake up to the sound of shouts and objects crashing in the other room. I frantically jump up, yanking on shorts over my clean panties and rushing into the living room. I stop dead when I see John B holding up a frying pan sporting a bloody nose while JJ stalks him like prey, circling him around the couch. Both sets of eyes land on me and JJ's lips roll back in disgust.

"I told you he'd be mad." John B wears a proud smile just as JJ lunges for him again with a growl. I step closer, spotting the scratching on John B's bare chest and shoulders. That's how JJ knew. John B was showing off his wounds.

"It was nothing. Nothing happened." I force out, unsure why I felt the need to defend myself or John B. JJ stops circling John B around the couch long enough to look at me like I was stupid.

"That doesn't look like nothing." JJ spats, pointing at John B's battle scars. "Did you fuck him?" I take a step back, offended. What was it any of his business?

"What if I did?" I counter and JJ growls, earning a laugh from John B. JJ quickly lunges for John B again as he laughs, taunting his best friend like I was a prize.

"I didn't fuck her! I didn't!" John B finally says, running towards me and using me as a shield. I freeze when his hands find my waist after dropping the pan on the table. JJ stops a few feet from us, his eyes locking on John B's hands.

"Dude, I promise. I just.. touched her a little." JJ makes a move for John B again and I step in front, blocking his path.

"What's the problem? Neither of you have made a claim on me. I'm free to do whatever I want with who I want." Has this been the issue the whole time? They both wanted me for themselves? JJ gets in my face, his breath hitting my nose as he glares down at me.

"No, you can't." He spats, looking over my head at John B. I push his chest but he doesn't do anything but glare back down at me.

"Yes I can. No one owns me, certainly not you." I shout, shoving him again. JJ snaps, grabbing me roughly and slamming my front down on the table. I squeal when a harsh slap lands across my ass. I count five before he stops, my ass on fire and my pussy dripping. What was happening to me? Did I enjoy this? I look up to see John B unmoving and unamused as he looks at us. I feel my shorts and panties get tugged to the side then JJ's fingers are circling my clit. I squirm, trying to get away but my retreat halts when his two fingers slip inside me. A moan slips free and I see John B's nostrils flare.

"I didn't have to make her." John B grinds out at JJ and I hear JJ chuckle dryly as his fingers pump inside me, bringing me right to the edge then quickly stopping. Slapping my ass again. I yelp and he releases me, turning on John B as he makes a show of cleaning me off his fingers. I braced myself on the table, legs too weak to hold up my weight.

"If you fuck her, I'll never forgive you." JJ snarls. They have another stare off before JJ turns and leaves out the front door, letting it slam behind him. I don't get time to react before John B shoves everything off the table with an angry yell, flipping it over before also disappearing outside.

That night after another painfully silent dinner, I lay in bed unable to turn my brain off. My body was buzzing and no amount of rubbing was easing the ache I felt. They both wanted me. They were fighting over me and for some reason, I liked it. I liked that I was worthy enough to be desired by two very attractive men. Even if one was much more of an asshole than the other. I craved John B's kind eyes and warm smile but I also wanted to burn under the intensity of JJ's glare. I wanted to make him mad while I did things to his best friend. I wanted him to make me do it to him instead of John B. I throw the blankets off, unable to get comfortable on this old, creaky mattress as I press my palm to my clit. A groan leaves my lips just as I hear the click of the door. I look over to see John B, his bare chest raising and falling as he watched me. He stays by the door, licking his lips as he waits for me to continue. I start to rub myself harder, fueled by the fact that he needed this too. I buck into my hand but it's not enough. I drop my hand with a defeated whimper, willing him to leave me alone in my frustration when I feel the bed dip with added weight. My eyes snap open as he shoves my legs apart and pulls my wet panties to the side. I try to grab his head but it's too late. His mouth closes around my clit and my back arches off the bed as tingles race up my spine and down to my toes. I fist his hair, rocking against his face as he starts to lick me and taste me. His tongue flicks and sucks my clit over and over again before diving lower and plunging inside me. I'm a whimpering mess, my sounds growing louder when one of his hands reach up and slaps over my mouth. He scoots closer, his eyes locked on mine as he uses his free hand to drag my closer, my feet over his shoulders. My hands grip his shoulders, my nails slicing him as I reach my peak too quickly. I cum harder than I did in the hallway, my pussy clenching around nothing as I shake uncontrollably. I flinch when he removes his mouth and starts circling my entrance with his finger.

"I heard you in here. I heard the bed creaking. I knew what you were trying to do," His finger slips inside me, "I knew what you needed." His finger curls upwards, reaching that spot that I can never get on my own that has my back bowing off the bed. "Do you know what he'd do to me if he caught me in here?" John B pumps his finger faster, shoving my legs open wider as I try to clamp them closed. I cant stop squirming and he growls, sucking my clit into his mouth. "Hold still." I feel the bed start to rock as he fingers me, thrusting in harder and harder until he grabs a pillow, pressing it to my face as I orgasm again. He yanks free of me, tossing the pillow as he moves to the door. I watch as I fight to catch my breath, seeing him drag his hands through his hair as he shakes with restraint. His body was drawn so tight, the tent in his shorts showing how painfully hard he was. I moved to the edge of the bed, reaching for him to offer some sort of relief when he fixes me with a glare.

"Don't. He said I couldn't fuck you so I won't but if you touch me.." He trails off, shaking his head as he clenches his jaw. Another moment passes and he yanks the door open, pulling it shut as he disappears down the hallway. I sink back down on my bed, feeling no less satisfied with a touch of guilt.

I tossed and turned all night long, growing more and more angry that JJ had staked his claim like I was a piece of meat. I wasn't his. I didn't belong to anyone so what was the harm in wanting both of them? We were trapped here so who would know? Who would stop us? No one would believe them anyway once we did get out of here. I'd deny it while having divulged in my deepest, darkest fantasy. Would I be okay with letting whatever this was go once we're allowed to leave? Would I be able to face them outside of this fish shack?

I turn under the hot spray from the shower, desperate to wash the lust from my skin when I hear the shower curtain yank open. I turn, expecting John B wanting his payment but I'm startled to find JJ. His blue eyes are softer but no less angry. Why was he so angry? What demons was he facing? I barely get to take in the rod between his legs when he drops to his knees, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder before I can protest and diving in. My hands fly out, bracing myself on anything I can find as he devours me like a starved man. The lust I tried to wash off blazes like an inferno and I was melting. I rock into his face, feeling him fuck me with his tongue while his nose rubs against my clit. His hands grip my ass, holding me to him as he dives in harder, like he's trying to get inside me. I try to bite back a scream as my release washes over me but he shoves two thick fingers inside me and I cry out as he hits me so deep. I feel a gush of fluid between my legs then he's pulling away, raising to his feet as I fight to make my legs hold me up.

"W-what.." He takes my towel off the curtain rod and steps out, leaving me no less dazed and confused.

I quickly get dry with a hand towel since that was all that was available since he took mine, then go into the kitchen in search of coffee once I'm dressed. I feel my wet hair soaking through my shirt but I don't care. He should've left me a towel. I can tell they arguing when I enter the room by the way their facing one another with angry expressions and hushed sentences. They stop when they see me, their eyes dropping to my chest. John B smirks and JJ scowls as I look down to take in the wet spots left by my hair, exposing me in my white tank top. Did I forget my bra?

"Go put a fucking better shirt on." JJ demands as I pour myself a cup of coffee. I take my time adding an unhealthy amount of cream and sugar before taking a sip and facing them.

"No." I say calmly and JJ pushes up out of his chair.

"That's enough, dude." John B grabs JJ's arm but JJ pushes him away, making him tip back in his chair and fall backwards. I frantically move to the other side of the island as JJ advances on me and John B curses.

"You make me waste this coffee and you'll regret it." I growl as JJ stops his movements, chest heaving like he ran a marathon. John B stomps over to where I am, glaring back at JJ.

"Cover yourself up." JJ spits out and I hide my smile, replaying the shower in my head.

"Right. Like you didn't just corner her in the shower to make sure I heard it." John B scoffs, embarrassment heating my cheeks. I narrow my eyes at JJ. So that's what this was. A game. A pissing contest.

"And I heard you sneak into her room last night." JJ shouts, slamming his hands down on the island. I swallow the lump in my throat as they glare back at each other.

"I didn't fuck her." John B says calmly and JJ shakes his head like he doesn't believe him. "If I had you'd have tasted it so you know I didn't." My eyes widen at John B's vulgar words, JJ's lips pulled back in disgust as he looks between us.

"Is this what's going to happen? You're going to sneak around with him?" JJ demands and I shake my head, sitting my mug down.

"I don't need to sneak around with him. I don't need to sneak around with either of you. If I want John B, I'll have John B. If I want JJ, I'll have JJ. You seem to miss the part where it's my decision, not yours." I shout back. JJ's eyes light up then he's charging me. I try to escape but John B catches me, turning me to face JJ as he brings me for a hard kiss. John B holds my arms behind my back while JJ dominates my mouth with his tongue. I'm sinking, my body melting into a puddle on the floor. He pulls away, casting a look to John B before taking a step back and letting his eyes drop to my still wet top for a moment.

"Choose. Make your decision." JJ snaps and I shake my head as John B's mouth finds my neck. JJ's face flares with anger but he doesn't move, staying in his spot as he watches.

"You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first, right?" I whisper breathlessly, feeling John B smile against my skin. JJ steps forward but I throw my hand out, stopping him. "My terms."

John B’s hand cups my breast, JJ’s eyes tracking the movements with a deadly glare. I tip my head back as John B’s lips find the soft spot behind my ear.

“We have three weeks left. You can test drive me as much as you want.” He whispers, earning a nervous giggle from me.

“I don’t share.” JJ takes a deep breath, fighting to control himself as John B tugs my nipples between his fingers.

“Three weeks, man. You really want to go without her for three weeks? She’s trapped here with us. No one else can have her but me and you.” John B coaxes his friend, sliding his hand under my shirt and exposing more and more skin to JJ. I watch JJ swallow hard as he tracks the movement with his eyes.

“You know you want to, JJ. I see the way your eyes light up when I touch her.” John B removes my shirt, wrapping his warm body back around mine as his hands caress me. I lock eyes with JJ, seeing the moment he makes his decision.

Tag list: @lovedetlost @hoebx @strokesofstokes @alizabethcs @carnisidi @famousdestinygarden @i-always-come-back-xoxo @pankowforlife @my-baexht-ls @onmykneesforrafe @slutforsmutsstuff @bethoconnor @hellosexxxysalvatore @mrsjakeseresin @belcalis9503 @maybanks-luver @i-always-come-back-xoxo @adventuresinobx @hopebaker @drewbooooo @itsmytimetoodream @houseofperfecttaste @harlowsgirl @wh0reforstefansalvatore @urmommas Let me know if I missed anyone! 💕

[salsa-dip]

my situation gets more and more dire and i don't know what to do. i have a roommate (for lack of a better term as the house i'm in is legally vacant and it's illegal to here) and she has done things like destroy the house by throwing all of the furniture around and then stops us from cleaning it, violently. she has assaulted me repeatedly. more than the one in Nebraska because the other is in Kansas. she throws unopened cans, screwdrivers, plates. i mean, anything that shatters. we have no glass items anymore. we have no non-plastic or porcelain plates. only plastic cups. nevermind the fact that we have no utilities and can't wash dishes that often that isn't handwashing. can't wash clothes that often, can't showet often and she can't stop attacking me and my roommate. the only reason why there's not *more* charges is because my best friend doesn't want cops because they'll kick us out since vacant squatting, and i don't either. the charges against her are only because she was so loud and violent that other people called them. i have recorded videos of the Nebraska assault. and this is all while we're struggling for food and trying to save up to get the utilities back. every time we clean anything she literally opens trashbags and scatters it all around. (we can't pay for trash service yet) she makes us look like the typical homeless slobs and we're starting to become pariahs in this small town and i was told "you should be ashamed yourself" at a gas station by a random redneck. when i was using the public bathroom (because i have to walk to one to use one.) she wants to wear us down so we can't argue or fight with her violent and abusive demands. i'm trying not to let her win but after 3 weeks of every day fights i'm struggling. my grandma is trying to kill my cats because they're a financial burden and i barely have enough money to take care of them to pay for things for my cats at my grandma's. i don't eat to keep them alive and them i have no strength or energy for this. i don't know how to solve this and i just know that i need money. if you could consider donating, please do. i mean, i can show the videos of the Nebraska assault if anyone would like to see them so they know i'm telling the truth.

[happysoldlady]

Game Night - Ezekiel Reyes

a/n: sorry that I went MIA again. y’all know how it is. here’s this. I cried. 

taglist: @woahitslucyylu​ @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @peaches007​ @cocotheclown​

You and EZ had been together for a little over a year, him being patched for a few months now. Most of the time the two of you were too exhausted to do much of anything but eat dinner and sleep. But once a month, at least, the two of you hosted game night for the club at your house. It wasn’t anything crazy, as all the members brought their wives and Coco usually brought Letty. It was something for all of you to do as a group that didn’t involve killing anyone, so everyone was on board. 

You had taken off work early today, and then wasn’t scheduled for tomorrow and you thought that tonight would be a great night for the infamous game night. You had been cooking literally all day, as feeding the whole crew was a job in itself. EZ had made sure that everyone knew to be there around 7:30, so they could all eat with plenty of time to play whatever game they decided on. It was nearing on 6:30 now, and you had a little mix of everything. The large spread calling your name as the smells made for a delicious enticement. 

You were keeping an eye on the rolls in the oven when you heard EZ’s bike pull up. You immediately smiled and peeked out the kitchen window to see him backing the bike up toward your garage so that all the other members could park with ease. 

You cracked the oven open to see your rolls a crispy brown. You grin, grabbing an oven-mitt and pulling them out.  You’re arranging them into a oblong bowl when EZ walks through the door, throwing his keys onto the small table beside it. He strolls into the kitchen and you swear you almost hear him moan at the spread of food. 

“How long have you been cooking?” EZ asks, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, watching you. 

You place the last roll in the bowl, and then grab the cling wrap from underneath the sink to wrap around them hoping to keep them fresh for when the men start rolling in. 

“Feels like forever.” You say, leaning to give him a sweet kiss before pulling the cling wrap out of it’s box. 

You spend the next hour swatting at his hands, and then forcing him to go shower before everyone got there. You just hear the water turn on when you hear the first few bikes pull up. 

You touch up your lipstick and then open the door to step out onto the porch to greet everyone. Angel, of course, is first, him planting a kiss to your cheek as he walks inside. Then, Coco strolls up your porch, with a less than enthused Letty in toll. 

“Coco...” You greet with a grin, pulling him into a hug. You feel his jaw twitch as he bites back a smile. He also presses a kiss to your cheek and then strolls inside, stopping under the door frame to wait on Letty. She gives you a tight smile and a nod and you return it with a friendly grin, watching as they disappear inside. 

Gilly jogs up the steps and pulls you into hug. “I’m gonna give you a hug while EZ isn’t around to get pissed about it.” You both laugh, and he presses a kiss to your cheek before he also walks inside. 

You follow him inside to wait for the other members. Angel, Gilly and Coco always show up early so that they feel like they get first dibs on the food. You swat Angel’s hand away from the fried tortillas and then wink at Letty as she swipes a strawberry from the fruit tray. 

“Boy scout in the shower?” Coco asks, leaning against a wall. 

You smile and nod. “He should be almost done.” 

Angel, Gilly and Coco all exchange a look before they’re rushing down the hallway to the bathroom to pester him. 

You laugh and move the bowl of rolls to the end of the spread, and then making sure everything still looks fresh. 

“No lemonade this time?” Letty asks. Her eyes are peering at you from the opening in the kitchen and you smile. 

“You know, I forgot all about it. Do you wanna make some while we wait for the others?” You ask, walking to a cabinet above the stove and pulling out the lemonade mix. 

Letty hesitates for a second and then nods. “Yeah, that’d be cool.” 

You wave her over and show her how much mixture to put into the pitcher and then how much water. She nods, and then starts scooping. You smile encouragingly and then ask about her day. Of course she only gives you simple answers but you figure that that’s better than nothing. 

“I fucking hate you guys.” You hear EZ grumble and you see the three of them shoving each other as they return back to the living room. You and Coco make eye contact and he looks proud to see Letty doing something productive. 

“And I just fill the water up to this line?” Letty asks for clarification, holding the pitcher up to the light to get a better look. You hum and nod, pointing to the line in question. “Seems too easy.” She says, shaking her head, but she sticks the pitcher under the faucet and turns it on anyway. 

“I like to stir mine as I fill it up, but that’s up to you.” You say, laying a spoon down on the counter. You decide leave her be, but as your turning to cross into the living room, she picks the spoon up and starts stirring. 

EZ’s in a freshly ironed black t-shirt (thanks to you) and a different pair of jeans. His cut is folded over the back of one of the recliners as he ties his boots on. 

“Well don’t you look handsome.” You comment, and the boyish grin he gives you makes you smile. He finishes tying his boots and then stands, giving you a short kiss. His hand lingers on your hip and there’s a familiar twinkle in his eye that you can’t wait to explore later. 

“I don’t think y’all have time for a quickie.” Angel remarks, and then picks up the clock to look at for emphasis. Gilly and Coco both laugh but EZ just shakes his head. 

The five of you sit in the living room and talk for a little while before Letty strolls in carrying two glasses of lemonade. She hands one to you with a proud look on her face. 

“It’s not bad.” She says, taking a sip of her own and then looking at you expectantly. 

You smile and then take a drink. “This is really good! Better than mine, for sure.” 

Letty smiles proudly, lifting her head a little and then takes a seat next to Coco who gives her a soft look. 

It isn’t much longer until you hear the motorcycles rolling up outside. You stand and smooth out your dress, and EZ pulls his cut over his shoulders. The two of you open up the front door and greet the older Mayans as the walk in, along with their wives. 

Before you know it, everyone’s already eaten and are scattered across your living room with a handful of cards, and a drink. Gilly, Coco, Riz and Angel are all playing a game of poker. Bishop, Tranq, and almost all of the wives are focused on a game of rummy. And you, Letty, EZ and Creeper are playing monopoly. Creeper is losing badly and he’s already so deflated by Letty’s natural gift toward capitalizing that he’s not even putting up a fight anymore. 

“Shit, man!” Creeper curses as Letty lands on yet another free parking. You want to be mad for your own game but you can’t help but feel at least a little responsible for the wicked grin on Letty’s face as she scoops all of the monopoly money towards her pile. 

EZ’s been particularly touchy for most of the night. Little things. A hand on your back as you offer drinks. A helping hand when someone actually takes you up on your offer. A hand on your thigh while the four of you rotate through your monopoly turns. A kiss to the hairline when he catches you gleaming at a giddy Letty. 

After most of the house clears out, and you’re waving goodbye to the slew of bikes rumbling down your street, you make your way inside to see EZ picking up beer bottles and paper plates, his hands balancing way too many. You smile, and rush over to him, praying to god he doesn’t spill any remains on your floors. 

“You don’t have to do that, baby.” You say, taking some of the plates from his grasp to lessen the load. He shakes his head, and continues to help straighten up your house. 

After most of the trash is picked up and the dirty dishes are at least near the sink, EZ’s focus turns to you. His hands slithering around your waist as your scrubbing one of the pans. 

“Leave that for tomorrow.” He mutters, planting wet kisses up your neck. You smile and lean into him. 

“If I do it now, then I don’t have to do it tomorrow, though.” You say, and you feel his chest rumble from behind you. 

“Fair enough.” He sighs, and then picks up a sponge. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, shaking your head. “You don’t have to do that. I got it.” 

“If we both do it, it gets done faster.” He says, giving you a sly grin. So there the two of you are, in your kitchen, talking softly over the soapy bubbles as you wash the dishes and he dries them. And he’s right, in less than twenty minutes, the entire kitchen is cleaned up, and the dishes are put away. 

You plop down on the couch with an exasperated breath, and EZ sits down next to you. 

“Thank you for tonight.” He says, his eyes gleaming with gratitude. 

“It was my pleasure.” You say, grinning. “But fuck, if I’m not exhausted.” 

He laughs. “It’s because of Angel, isn’t it? Can’t get his own beer for anything in this world.” 

“Definitely Angel.” You joke back, before leaning down to take off your wedges. Your ankles were definitely going to be sore tomorrow. 

EZ’s quiet for several moments and when you look up, he’s staring at you. A very different look on his face and it makes your stomach drop. 

“What?” You ask, your hand immediately swiping against your cheeks to check for anything. 

You watch as he swallows, and then opens his mouth, “Marry me.” 

You blink, mouth agape, and shake your head. “EZ, wha-”

And before you can ask him anything, he’s getting on a knee in front of you. 

“I don’t have a ring because I just looked at you just now and realized that I won’t ever be happy if I don’t have this forever. So, we can pick out a ring tomorrow, but will you marry me?” He says, taking one of your hands into his own. 

You’re crying. Of course you’re crying. “Of course! Yes!” You say, squealing as he lifts you off the couch, wrapping your legs around his waist. He buries his head in your neck, his strong arms holding you tightly against him. 

“I love you so much, Ezekiel.” You whisper, pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips through your tears. 

“I love you, Y/N. I can’t wait to be your husband.” He whispers back.