#literally everyone should read them

[viillette]

it's so crazy how few historical fiction novels are like sharon kay penman's. the way that they're built out of the skeleton of the historical record seems so obvious, but there's so few people who are actually willing to commit to it in the way that she did. it seems like so often that's just a starting point which gets reformed to fit a coherent narrative, but she makes no real attempt to do that. there's themes and foils and patterns, but first and foremost it is a reconstruction. you can't really know what someone who lived that long ago was like, only what they did, and you can feel how she takes these isolated, dramatic events and builds a whole life around them. the books are nothing more than an answer to the question 'what might someone have been like, what could the history between these people have been, to possibly explain something like this?' the ability to string together a handful of facts and events from medieval chronicles to create people that feel so real, and psychology and relationships that develop so naturally that these distant, seemingly impenetrable choices suddenly feel so immediate and clear is just beyond belief. you know this probably wasn't actually how things happened, but it doesn't matter because it was something like this. the particulars are less important the crushing awareness that at one point all of this made sense. there was a time when all of this was right now. the world is unrecognizable and exactly the same. that's something which sounds very simple but is incredibly difficult to accomplish.

you come to know these people so well, their loves and hatreds and ambitions and failures, and those things are rarely resolved in the end. you know them from the time that they're children, you watch each one of them die, and none of it means anything in particular except that they were a human being. things which seem like they must be building to some tragic fallout end in anticlimax. things which seem utterly inconsequential in the moment manifest again decades later in cataclysmic disaster. and then you see it all play out again from the beginning with their children, and their children's children. all these uncanny echoes, this endlessly unfolding palimpsest of lives, each laid over the triumphs and mistakes of those who came before. i've never read anything so epic with so much mastery over the micro and macro levels of history. it's the minute, seemingly inconsequential everyday details, which build into a lifetime, which builds into generation of lives, which builds into the rise and fall of kingdoms and empires. it's the merciless endlessly turning wheel of fortune that replays the same songs in different keys again and again for all time. a person is both an individual with free will, and the prisoner of their blood and circumstances. somehow everything has infinite weight, is tied to everything that has come before and will come after, is the culmination of someone's entire existence—their pains and joys and fears and hopes—and yet is simultaneously completely meaningless, just one more victim of fate in an endless procession of lives and choices. the whole impotent tragedy of humanity is laid out in front of you and it's so repulsive and beautiful. it's deep love and unfathomable, senseless horror briefly and miraculously reverberating in a vacuum, an absurd aberration fading into silence.

if it's not obvious these books have made me cry like 10 different times

[bleh1bleh2]

Having a crush IS a competition, sorry i doubted you keith

I read "is there any better feeling than coming clean" by maveisher (@leenfiend) and ive been thinking about it so much,,,, so i made a little comic based on the beginning :)

[mwagneto]

HAAANK DON'T GET MAD AT SCIFI FOR NOT MAKING SENSE HAAAAANK !!! IT'S A METAPHOR FOR REAL LIFE THAT'S MEANT TO MAKE YOU ASK QUESTIONS HANK YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE EXACT MECHANICS!!!! HAAAANK

[tiptoethewordsgo]

hello gravity falls tumblr, someone write a fanfic where the pines family have to break bill out of rehab to help defeat a greater evil and my life is yours

[oceanwithouthermoon]

people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?

[zeivira]

no rest for the wicked...

pls more

this shit is hilarious

like what are the others thoughts on this "illness" like garfiel, we've seen a bit of otto but i want more of him cuz he's best boi.

i imagine him going on full mama/big bro mood lmao

also that ficrec abt the crack fic by scissors? LMAO thx my parents knew im awake at 3am

point is

i like you now

so im gonna stalk- ahem- stick to you like a leach 🥺🌹

feed me more

The Cap’n's rule about everyone being strictly forbidden from watching him sleep—something about Garfiel being exactly like Rem but without pretty girl privilege—never actually stops the members of the camp from keeping an eye on him while the Cap’n's rests. 

The camp is nothing if not resourceful, and it’s not like they need to be inside the room when he’s sleeping to make sure he stays safe. Waiting a few feet away from the only entrance is just as effective. 

That's why when Garfiel smells a person approaching the Cap’n's room, during a time he knows he is asleep—they spent the last few days traveling to Pristella, like Hoshin traveled the desert to Banan after all—he rushes into the hallway and grabs the visitor's wrist right before it gets to knock at the Cap’n's door. 

"—the hell do ya think yer doin’?" Only after he finishes talking, under the dim hallway light of the mansion-like inn, he takes notice of the visitor's red, flame-like hair. A sharp horror, the one he had felt hours flooded through his entire body, as he realized whose wrist he grabbed. 

For a second, all is still. 

"Hello again, Sir Garfiel," the Sword Saint greets him, smiling as if they were pals and he hadn't evaded Garfiel’s senses and stopped his punch with a casual block a couple hours before. As if he weren’t the main obstacle between Garfiel and the title of Strongest. "I apologize if my presence alerted you, but all I wish to do is talk to Subaru." 

"W-well isn’ that convenient.  Anythin’ ya might need ta tell the Cap’n, ya can tell my amazin’ self instead." Big fat lie. There is a reason why the Cap’n is the Cap’n despite being borderline comatose and apparently not that much older than him. But Garfiel can’t trust anyone stronger than him, and as much as he hates himself for it…

The difference between him and Reinhard van Astrea is like a newborn Earth dragon and the Divine Dragon themself. 

His mere presence makes Garfiel's rawest instincts scream—tell him to either fight-or-flight. Garfiel doesn't want to be anywhere close to Reinhard, but much less he wants Reinhard anywhere close to the Cap’n when he sleeps. At least not until Garfiel proves himself a stronger shield than Reinhard. 

Even if the Cap’n is not defenseless—at least, not usually— he is useless while he isn't awake. And that means Galfield has to fight for both of them.

"I see," Reinhard's lips tilt downwards. "I do not mean disrespect, but what I would like to discuss would be related to something personal, unrelated to our respective camps..." 

Right. Garfield's eyebrow twitches. Right. The Cap’n said they were friends. 

"...the Cap’n's asleep," his voice sounds hoarse even to his ears. Maybe if he makes his tone drier than the Augura Sand Dunes, he can get Reinhard to give up and leave?

Reinhard's eyes widen. "Is that so. From what I gathered he mostly slept during the night." 

Garfield scowls. Of course the Sword Saint knew that much. "The Cap’n does, but he couldn' sleep during the trip, as we moved without pause, just like the Emperor of the Briar who never knew rest," Garfield crosses his arms. "So he is sleeping now and won't wake up in a while." 

"I see..." Reinhard says, and an uncomfortable silence falls between them. His gaze felt so heavy that if Garfiel moved carelessly, he wouldn’t know what his fate would b— "I wanted to ask about my father, actually—” Reinhard spoke up, breaking the silence. “I heard there were some issues close to Lady Priscilla's domain that involved Subaru and him." 

It takes Garfield a second to realize what he is talking about. His joy over learning the one and only Sword Saint's father was joining Emilia's camp to help Subaru stop the Argyle healer evaporated the moment his eyes actually lied on the man. After a couple days he just became Old Man, a skilled drunkard with a sob story, rather than a member of the family his mother used to read him stories about. 

"Issues,” Garfield snorts at Reinhard’s choice of word. “Tha's one way of sayin’ it." He makes a face. "Yeah, I was there too. The Old Man made us go lookin’ for a stupid chalice with the power to cure all sickness, but in the end it's only power w’s turning water into booze. Big ass let down." 

Reinhard’s shoulders sag. "So that’s what happened…” Reinhard’s eyes finally looked past Garfiel and looked at the still closed door, an unreadable thought reflected in them. “...I am glad father was with Subaru and you nonetheless. I can't imagine him taking another disappointment well..." 

How could any member of the group that went after the dumb cup not be disappointed? The chalice would have been able to cure not only the Old Man’s wife, but the Cap’n too. As the camp’s shield it’s his duty to protect everyone from everything—including hereditary diseases. When the Old Man mentioned the rumors, he was the first to tell Emilia they absolutely needed to go.

Still— the entire conversation leaves a bad taste in his mouth. The Cap’n was already carrying enough on his shoulder, with being the Hero that defeated the Archbishop of Sloth, the White Whale and the Great Rabbit— did he really need to trouble himself with family drama when the man ain’t even dead? “Why?” 

Reinhard blinks. “Well, it has been many years—” 

“—no, not that.” Garfiel’s scowl grows. “Why do ya need to imagine it? Yar dad’s alive, you could ask him.”

Reinhard just stares, before a bitter smile covers his lips. “Although true, my father doesn’t enjoy my company, so I wouldn’t like to impose myself when unnecessary.” 

But he is alive, is what he wants to say. “My mom’s dead,” is what he says instead. Because damn— he saw the Old Man, the even Older Man and him talk during dinner and how Ottobro almost lost his head trying to stop Old and Older from killing each other, right before Priscilla arrived saying this was the most amusing shitshow she had seen in weeks. The Old Man genuinely didn’t want to be with Reinhard and his dad.

But he is alive. All three of them are. They can talk. While Garfiel's mom is dead and gone and he can't tell her how much he loves her. "Just because your father is with us, and the Cap’n is strong enough to carry the weight of yar family drama, doesn't mean he should."

Reinhard's eyes widen again. "I—" 

"The Cap’n sleeps longer when he overworks himself," Garfield cuts, his words stronger than any punch he ever did. 

And Reinhard's mouth shuts with an audible click, expression shifting into one of horror— as it should. 

"He carries everyone's problems on his back— no matter how tired he is...!" He clenches his fists. "The Cap’n is so cool, cooler than the Sage and Reid! But precisely because he is like that is that we need to push ourselves harder. Be the people the Cap’n wants us to be, even if he is too shy to tell us. Because— because...!" 

“—will you two please SHUT UP?!" The Cap’n's door parts open with a bang, and the Cap’n appears in the doorway, rubbing his eyes while scowling. “Some of us are actually trying to sleep around here!”

Garfiel rushes back to his room only minutes later, but also doesn't miss Reinhard walking in direction to the Old Man's room rather than the hallway he originally came from.

beta read by @daemonerik

[bisupergirl]

knight terrors: action comics #1

they're so important to me...

[todayisafridaynight]

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

twitter keeps disappointing me every time i make the mistake to log in there smh… 😒😒 just awful stsg take after awful stsg take ….

[giantkillerjack]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

[e-likes-bones]

a whole 1 person asked for me to drop the klunk playlist so uh. merry christmas!

& the description because it’s a tad long for mobile i think: “my best estimation of a klunk playlist - inspired by the only other klunk playlist i’ve seen but it didn’t have the songs he sang on it so i took a stab at one + there’s a little bias to my personal taste but it’s ok”

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[linkaholic]

Linktober Day 2 - Friend/Companion

Moosh has found a snack! Ralph just wishes it wasn't his hat...

Previous | Next

[cloudberriess]

DSMP Fics

(that I recommend)

(I have not actually finished all of these so if you see smth nasty I promise I don't know about it- Though do tell me so I can remove it from the list, thanks :D)

ROYAL AU 🜲

Butterfly Reign: By SilentTeyz

The royal family of Antarctic empire isn’t exactly close. Emperor Philza is always occupied; Tommy hasn’t seen Techno in months, and even if Wilbur is here, their relationship can be described to be strained at best. The royal family doesn’t need to be close, however, it only needs to be balanced, like the pillars holding the country above their heads – as long as they are strong and steady, the Empire will be too. It’s the principle that held Tommy’s back straight and his shoulders broad through the years of hardships and trials of errors; through yet another formal meeting where his father’s gaze would look past him and where his brother’s words would be filled with poison that makes the deepest parts of his soul ache. At that time, Tommy couldn't know that his family would find a replacement for him in the face of a commoner boy named Ranboo. Tommy's family has replaced him. It's only fair that he gets to do the same.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/50

https://archiveofourown.org

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight: By sircantus

(Yes the title is from sofia the first, yes I'm laughing at it, I find it funny-) In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town. After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head. So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies.

(and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 28

https://archiveofourown.org

Who the Ever-Loving F*** made me a prince?: By sherashalala

Tommy wakes up in a book he's read once before, now casted as an infant prince named Theseus-- that would have been fine if this infant isn't destined to die at the age of fifteen by the hands of his own royal brother. Tommy as Theseus will not have that. He'll be changing a few things in here. For one, he will not be called Theseus. That's such a gaudy name. Who the hell chose that-? Oh right. The brother who is going to execute him. ---

OR The SBI Who Made Me A Princess AU we all needed. OR OR Tommy gets stuck inside a book and he has to use childish charm to change fate.

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 27

https://archiveofourown.org

the curious tale of a not so lost runaway prince: By xMultiFandomsx

Tommy is the youngest prince of the Antarctic Empire who's fed up with being ignored by his family so he takes matters into his own hands. He begins to sneak out from the palace into the city nearby in hopes to catch someone's attention. It's there he begins to form a new sort of family. He experiences life like never before: discovering friendship, running from criminals, and (most importantly) eating wonderful foods.

-or- Prince Tommy was sick of his family forgetting about him and tries to get their attention which ends up leading him right into the arms of a whole new one. Will Tommy's royal life get in the way of his new city life? Will the royal family finally notice their youngest prince? There's only one way to find out.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

https://archiveofourown.org

TANGLED AU 𖤓

The Golden Phoenix: By emiartse

In his dreams, there had always been a voice. A soft melodic voice that sang their mother's lullaby. A more monotonous, but just as loving voice that promised he'd teach him to fight one day, once he was old enough of course. The doting voice of a mother laughs with a toddler as she gently tries to fix a small crown onto the boy's brow. And then there was the gentle voice of a father, that promised to always keep him safe from those who'd do them harm. And in the morning when the boy would awake, he'd wonder who exactly he needed to be protected from. "Tommy?" A voice called out from the doorway and Tommy grinned gleefully at the sight of his older brother. "Dream!" He yelled, stumbling out of bed and into his arms, hugging the man tight. His brother returned the hug in kind, his hands pressing warmly into the spot on his back where his wings would ignite from for the first time in a few days, fully grown. Surely Dream was all the protection Tommy would ever need in this world, right? A knot of doubt coiled tightly in his chest. -------------------------------------

AKA The DSMP Tangled AU nobody asked for.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 35/37

https://archiveofourown.org

The Ballad of Theseus: By Bumblebeeii

News said the Queen and her unborn child were sick. Rumours said the Kings guard were looking for a magic flower to quell all sickness, a flower that could pull someone back even from the brink of death. To the people of the Antarctic empire and greater lands beyond, the flower was nothing but a legend, forged many millennia ago. The story had quickly became one of myth, and was lost to the ever moving sands of time… —————————————————— When Tommy and Tubbo cross paths, an unforeseen pact is forged. Will their alliance rewrite destiny's design? ——————————————————

AKA a Tangled AU featuring Tommy, SBI, Tubbo, Dream and everyone else.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 15/22

https://archiveofourown.org

healing (in more ways than one): By orphan_account

For his entire life, Tommy dreamed of seeing the floating lights in person. His brother Dream, however, won't even let him leave his cottage, let alone go off into the world. With the help of Tubbo, a thief who breaks into his home while hiding from the kingdom, he just might be able to. Tubbo just wants to sell the lost prince's crown in exchange for a healing potion for Ranboo, who is gravely injured. However, when he meets Tommy, a loud teen with healing abilities, he might not have to. After all, he only needs to take the guy to see the lanterns. Easy, right? Princes Wilbur and Technoblade have been trying to track down Tubbo, but they lost him soon after he stole their missing brother's crown. Tubbo and Ranboo have been stealing from the castle for quite some time, but never anything this valuable. And even though they have yet to catch their criminal frenemies in all the years they've known each other, they're determined to get back the crown. -------

or the dream smp tangled au that literally no one asked for but i decided to write anyway

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Gleam and Glow: By beepers

Long time ago, an ex-deity found a magical flower that made him younger and stronger if you sang to it. Centuries later, the flower is taken away from him to heal the pregnant Queen of L'Manberg. Luckily, she lives and gives birth to third son of King Philza, Tommy. Unfortuantely, Dream cannot live without his precious flower. He steals the golden-haired prince and hides him away from everyone, so no one can take away his youth again. Years later, a boy called Tubbo accidentally discovers a small house hidden in the mountains as he runs from Technoblade and his hounds. A great life-changing adventure has just began.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 27

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Little Flower: By Canadiantardis

The floating lights only came up the night of his birthday, Tubbo had learned. Hundreds upon hundreds of lights floating up the sky, just within view of the opening of the grotto’s opening. While Father had forbidden him from leaving the grotto, there had been a time, on his seventh birthday where he couldn’t sleep and snuck out to watch the sky, to see the moon, when he had seen the floating lights for the first time. Instantly, he had been entranced, and he had watched until he was close to passing out before he hauled himself back to his room, knowing Father would be furious if he found him by the entrance.

Tangled x Platonic Soulmates AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 15

https://archiveofourown.org

AVIAN AU 𓅪

Avians (The Gods Have Spoken): By Your_Local_Valentine

Techno blade was nobody special. Really, he wasn’t. He was just some homeless rat in the streets, with no purpose in life. He’d been on his own since before he could remember, being raised by any other homeless person on the streets. He was not anyone important. He wasn’t supposed to be important. Until he woke up one day with wings. - Every god has chosen someone to be their angel. The god of Time, Chaos, even Death. They have all chosen their angel to represent them on earth, to protect the mortal plane. People who already had power in the realm- people of royalty. The only one who has never chosen an angel is the God of Blood. They never have. It was speculated that they were evil- that they hated angels and wanted to kill the gods and everyone else. Until that fateful night.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 8/?

https://archiveofourown.org

I'm Not Tired (Please Let Me Sleep): By Nissified

The blonde sighed and closed his eyes, the familiar ringing starting up in his ears again as he started to count backwards from thirty. At twenty, glass shattered and contorted voices screamed in his ears, leaving him almost deaf. He ignored them to the best abilities. At fifteen, he felt the sensation of someone punching him in the face, the pain almost enough to make him open his eyes again. At eight, something stung on his cheek, followed by the sensation of something dribbling down the skin. Something thick and warm. At three, the screeching became unbearable. At two, something snapped his wrist, the dull pain almost enough to pull him out. Almost. At one, he felt the blade of a knife digging into the skin of his throat, the pain would follow soon after. Zero.

or: Tommy is just some random dude who keeps getting attacked in his dreams by a particular bloodthirsty green Teletubby. Unfortunately, this leads to him not sleeping much and passing out on the Syndicate. They're more than just flabbergasted upon finding out he's got no clue who they are

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Imprinted: By Euripides406BCE

Prompt by @corpseyreads on Twitter: SBI superhero au- where civilian tommy, with newly grown wings, dares to leave his apartment for the first time since manifesting them He doesn't mean to end up in the midst of a hostage situation with the syndicate

Some SBI supervillain madness with some fun Origins shit thrown in!

Status: Finished

Chapters: 40

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Every Flight (Begins With A Fall): By SilentTeyz

The crows continue to surround him. Maybe they know he isn't a real crow, sense the impostor. Tommy would have laughed if it wasn't for the hundred fucking crows watching him like a walking bag of food. He is about to get ejected. He is about to fucking die.

OR Tommy dies in the prison and respawns in the body of a crow. Phil and Techno are clueless that this angry injured fledgling is actually Tommy.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 11

https://archiveofourown.org

VILLAIN AU ☯

the world forgetting by the world forgot: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“Something has been stolen from us,” Thanatos said, his wings puffing up as he spoke. “Something that is very important to us. And we are fairly certain that the person who stole this thing of ours is in this very crowd.” Dream tensed beside Tommy as the crowd broke out into murmurs. Eyes were darting towards the different heroes in the crowd, the benefactors no doubt assuming that the culprit had to be a hero. “Like we said, we haven’t crashed your party to cause trouble. But we want this thing returned to us, and we won’t hesitate to take extreme measures to get what we want.”

or, Tommy was a lot of things: a newly debuted hero sidekick, an amnesiac, and a former kidnapping victim of the Syndicate. Tommy didn't actually remember that last one though. That was just what Dream told him. Only weeks after his hero debut, the Syndicate announces they are searching for something, and Tommy knows it has to be him. The scariest part? If they find him, Tommy will have no clue what to expect, because the Syndicate might know him, but he has no memories of them. So he can't let them find him. No matter what. Of course they end up finding him anyway.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“W-What do you- I mean can I- are you here to rob us?” The person managed to stammer out. Siren snorted. “No. I’m just here to order some food.” “Wh-What about him?” The cashier asked, glancing at Tommy. “Did you- did you kidnap him?” “I mean… yeah, let’s go with that in case this ends up on the news,” Siren shrugged, looking back at Tommy. “I kidnapped you, right?” “Yeah, sure,” Tommy agreed, knowing that if they said he was kidnapped, it would keep people from getting suspicious of why he was seen in public with Siren. “Anyway, can I get the chicken nuggets happy meal, with a coke?”

or, how Tommy—who is not a hero, or a villain, or even a vigilante—saves the life of one of L'Manberg's most feared supervillains, and accidentally ends up becoming the resident doctor for every supervillain in town (and maybe gets a family along the way too).

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommy's Ultra-Important Keychain: By SeriouslyCalamitous

“Be my apprentice,” Icarus blurted. Tommy blinked. Gradually, the corners of his mouth dropped into the deepest frown he’d ever made. “What the fuck? Why?” “Why?” Icarus froze and Tommy raised a judgemental eyebrow. “It’s because of your powers.” “My powers,” he echoed. “I never told you whether or not I had powers.” “I can… sense them,” Icarus bullshitted. Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. What are they, then,” he retorted. “Uh… super… powers,” the villain answered, sounding more unsure of himself by the second. Tommy wanted to bash his head against a wall. “Really? That’s the best you could do?” ------ Tommy isn’t sure why handing someone their keys is such a big deal, but now he’s left with a huge problem: Every supervillain in the city wants him to be their apprentice!

- or - Tommy’s lame superpower turns out to be a game-changer.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/42

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommyinnit’s Guide To Familyfying The Syndicate On Accident: By Six6

He turns to look back and… Is that fire in his apartment? Wait, no - Is that… IS THAT FIRE ON HIS COUCH?!?! Oh, the tragedy. It hurts, it hurts in more ways than one. That couch was Tommy’s whole life, his dreams, his love, his family. And that stupid, motherfucking hero that’s getting beat up in his apartment set it aflame. This is Tommy’s villain arc now. He’s a villain. He’s gonna take down the hero organization and dominate the world. This is his turning point; it’s set. No going back now. Whoever that fucking hero that’s getting beaten up in his apartment deserves what he’s getting right now for what he did to his beloved couch. He deserves worse, actually. Fuck that fiery hero. If he remembers correctly, that fiery hero that’s getting beat up is Hero Flame from the Dream Team, actually. And the one beating him up the way he deserves is… The Blade…? Great. They just broke the floor and fell another story down. The fuckers set the whole apartment aflame, and is that screaming he’s hearing? ~~~~~~~

Or Tommy somehow manages to keep getting himself into very fucked situations and familfys a group of anarchist villians called Syndicate. Did I say familfy? I mean friendify.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 11/?

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A Mockingbird In The Crows Nest: By LilBitO_Sunny

“It seems like someone set off multiple bombs at the News Tower. Looks like Pyro’s work- but we can’t be sure. The entire building is on fire, but Soulfire is across the city-” “I’m on it.” He said instantly, cutting her off. “Call Charon and Peleus, too. There might be people trapped on the higher floors and we’ll need to get them out.” Tommy’s excitement screeched to a halt at that. “Get Warden, too. We need someone who can breathe smoke to get in there and help us look.” Erebus continued, but Tommy wasn’t really paying attention. People? What did he mean by people? There weren’t any people in the tower- it was nearly 2 am. Why would there be people at a news station at 2 in the morning?? The Villain League would never intentionally hurt innocent people. Then his ears popped, and he heard the screams. Oh god.. What has he done?

Or: Tommy's a supervillain tasked with going undercover at the Hero's Tower. His job is to gather information, sabotage what he can, get their identities, and get out..But he doesn't expect for people to actually like him. He doesn't expect the enemy to treat him kinder than his own family.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 37

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run boy, run: By 212rime

Tommy was many things: feared, free, powerful… but he wasn’t proud. He wasn’t proud of the title he had or the name they’d called him, honestly he didn’t think he deserved it. Tommy never had an evil plan, or a secret lair, or any of the cool things villains had. All he had was a shitty apartment and the clothes on his back, and a desire for more. He couldn’t be a civilian, and he certainly wouldn’t be a hero, so he did what he had to do. At fifteen years old, Red Death killed the top heroes in L’Manburg, and Tommy became a villain.

Or: Two years ago, the top heroes of L'Manberg were killed by Red Death. Now, ex-villain Tommy tries to juggle the fallout while also forging new relationships, some of which may be more complicated than they seem.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

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Everything Will Be Okay: By erynestel

So, Tommy was pretty sure he was in a video game. How he came to that conclusion, you might ask? Oh, well, you know, he just went to sleep one night in the bedroom he shared with the two other kids at his latest foster home, clutching Henry to his chest and trying to ignore the snores from the bed across the room – and then woke up somewhere else. In an alley. A fucking dirty alley overflowing with trash, he might add. He was pretty sure he’d even heard rats scattering around somewhere. It also had been winter, the morning air cold and quickly seeping through his thin pyjama. The only other thing he’d had with him were Henry and his blanket, laying on the ground. You know, just your typical Tuesday.

OR Tommy wakes up in a world where the new video game everyone is talking about is *very* real. That includes the three main villains, heads of an organization called ‘The Syndicate’. But it’s totally fine! He just has to make sure he never meets them – he’s got a feeling they won’t be pleased about another crow hybrid in an otherwise hybrid-less world.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 2

Extra: I usually wouldn't add in ones this short but this is like in my top three DSMP fanfics

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One Man's Trash: By SilverWing15

The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it. “What the fuck?” Wilbur says. The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows. “You got a fucking problem, asshole?” “I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says. “There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.” “Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?” “Shouldn’t you be in school?” The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him. “Fuck off man. Forget this dump.” “What, you know a better one to eat from?” “I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!” The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down. Rude.

Or: It was only a matter of time before I did a superhero AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 17

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

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FANTASY AU ✧

bones in the ocean: By bunflower

“The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?” —

OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 19

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Only at the Ocean Floor: By Kokichis_Panta

Tommy has never been one to get too close to the surface. He's been above it a few times just for a couple of seconds, but he never saw anything interesting. Though after he started to keep an eye on the surface more, he'd sometimes spot a large shadow trail past him. It would usually drop down ropes weaved together that would pick up fish and bring them back up to the surface. He had to admit that he grew jealous with how easily it picked up a hundred fish and had tried to craft his own out of seaweed. It didn't work. He supposed it wasn't that much of a loss. After all, siren claws were sharper than mermaids, he could hunt better than Niki anyway, he didn't need a fish catching contraption. Though when he told the girl about his discoveries, she quickly forbade him from ever nearing the shadows again, especially the weaved ropes they dropped into the water. Fine. He could just look at them from a distance. Until, he got too curious. So curious that he peaked his head above the water just for a second. It was an interesting sight to say the least. That shadow wasn't exactly just a shadow, and for some reason there were some strange creatures on it. Ones with two flesh sticks for a tail.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 4/?

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Few Mercies For Fools: By MathanLin

“Bullshit. That’s the dumbest thing you could do.” “And why would that be?” Too many responses to count flashed through Tommy’s mind. This man was going to kill him, there was no denying that. No denying that Tommy had been stupid. That mantra had gotten him through the night, sure, but it wasn’t true, and now he was going to die. In the forest, he didn't know what was coming to kill him. Now, though, he knew it would be this man, with his soft cloak and softer eyes, Tommy wasn’t so afraid. Might as well encourage him to make it quick. “Because I know where you live, you rebel fuck,” he spat. “I know exactly where we are.” ///

Or, the SBI coven adopts a foul-mouthed child soldier with trust issues.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

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MODERN AU ⾕

there's something about the soots: By No_one_you_know

It’s common knowledge that you’re supposed to avoid the Soots. Sure, the father, Phil, is nice, but his three sons are most definitely crazy The oldest- Techno, talks to himself, and there are rumors that he killed someone once. Wilbur is an actual psychopath- he was the one that burnt down the barn all those years ago. And Tommy? He’s just… Weird. Tubbo is new to town, having just moved in with his cousins, Fundy and Niki. He doesn’t know the rules. Which is why he approaches Tommy one day, and his whole world is changed.

Tubbo and the Sleepy Boys Inc. There's kind of a light magic system involved but it's not convoluted i swear

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

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Build This Unsteady Bridge: By odymcbea

Wilbur was exhausted. It was raining and his throat hurt and with every step, Tommy was getting heavier in his arms. But he’d already made the kid walk so far today and in all honesty, Wilbur would rather deal with sore arms than a six year old’s tears of exhaustion. Finally, Wilbur stumbled onto the street they tentatively— and illegally— called home. It was lined with identical townhouses, one of which was currently empty. They’d been squatting in it for nearly a month now. It wasn’t the safest place they’d ever slept, but when it came to insulating them from the winter chill, Wilbur would give it five stars on any hotel website. Unfortunately, the window he climbed through was not the one they'd been using these past few weeks. This window belonged to the most terrifying man Wilbur had ever laid eyes on.

Or, while on the run, Wilbur and Tommy accidentally break into the wrong house. Technoblade finds them asleep in his living room. Family ensues. Eventually.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 10

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Home Is Where Your Heart Is: By arcticjaybird

It’s quiet. Tommy doesn’t like it when it’s quiet.

Tommy was loud. Tommy was combative and hostile and defensive and aggressive. Tommy was destructive. He knows he’s a problem child, constantly getting into trouble and wrecking any semblance of a family he might have left. But he doesn’t stop- he prefers the disgusted looks and constant new faces to the heartbreak that comes with caring. Tommy’s been bounced from home to home for most of his adolescence. This place is supposed to be a new start with people who care, but Tommy can’t bring himself to open up. He knows it’ll only end in pain and bitterness. He has his friends and support system, and he tells himself it’s all he needs. “We’re here.” He was told. “Try not to fuck this one up.”

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

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Theater Major: By Annex

Tommy hasn't seen or spoken to his brothers in almost seven years. And it was supposed to stay that way. In fact Tommy wasn't ever supposed to see or speak to his brother until they apologized to him. Or at least that's what he thought. Now in his senior year in the most prestigious school in the country due to a very strange set of circumstances, Tommy is shocked to find his out his brothers are coming home a semester early and are going to be staying at home with him again. With his whole world shaken and his perfectly crafted world crumbled by this news, Tommy figure out how to manage his knew home life with his current school life. Not to mention he's also part of the school theatre program that is much more demanding than anything he's ever done before. Tommy has to make it through his last semester of high school, last show with the school that has done so much for him and now his entire schedule and life has been thrown to the wind by his family. And why are they acting like nothings wrong? ----

Or Tommy's a theater kid who now has to deal with fact that his brothers are disrupting the life he had ever so perfectly created in the massive wake they left behind.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

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If I Lie, Maybe I'll Believe It: By weepingvirtue

At sixteen years old, Tommy knew so many things. He knew that people were predictable and selfish. He knew not to trust, not to take, and not to get comfortable for too long. He knew that the concept of family was as fake as the highlights in his last foster mother's hair. Tommy had known for years that life was painful and had no extra love for some ratty foster kid like him. He knew that it was him and his copy of The Odyssey against the whole world. He knew that he only had to survive long enough to make it to his eighteenth birthday before he could escape. But when Tommy ends up fostered in the Watson household completely by chance, he finds that maybe he never knew anything in the first place. //

or, the one in which Tommy Innit has never really experienced love, family, or belonging, and is suddenly surrounded by it all at once.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

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His Curse of Binding: by orphan_account

Tommy had lived and died as Theseus, Icarus, Orpheus and Sisyphus. But all he wanted to be was free. In which Tommy Soot, originally born in 1509, is cursed to be reborn, to never reach adulthood unless he figured out the Greek myth of his lifetime. He had one rule of not allowing himself to get attached to people but he would have never guessed that a foster family of the creator of Minecraft, an anime stan and a Soundcloud musician would break that rule.

~ SBI Foster AU but with Greek mythology.

Status: Completed

Chapters: 30

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VIGILANTE TOMMY AU ✩

This is Not an Act of Spite: By ellis (ellabellachicketychella)

Could the universe be kind enough, so that Tommy could get a damn break from the mess that is his life? Please? Just for one day. --- Okay, so maybe coming to the interview with a few broken ribs was a bad idea, but what choice did he have? Just not come and keep on being unemployed? Several bad things could happen during his interview, given the circumstances. There was an AI in the building designed by Vulcan which not only kept unwanted people from getting in, it scanned people for any unauthorized weapons or injuries. There was also the problem with his illegal documents since he wasn't an actual adult. But the biggest risk is that the job is at a hero organization. And he's a vigilante. Which are highly illegal. ---

or, yet another vigilante tommy au... except this time, there is at least one brain cell (you can figure out who has it)

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/56

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TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death: By eneliii

“I uh,” Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. “I think your powers are broken? It’s not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don’t feel insecure. Everyone’s power stop working sometimes… I think.”  Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen? “Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes,” Tommy hisses, “Well um,” He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, “This was like super fun, but I’m - I’mma head out.”

or, in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.

or or, a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

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No Cause for Concern: By hedgehoggeryyy

So maybe applying for a job at the heroes' base of operations when he could be arrested any moment for being an illegal vigilante wasn't Tommy's smartest move. But he gets to work with his idols — Ghostbur, the Blade, and Philza Minecraft, Angel of Death himself, just to name a few — how could he turn down that opportunity, honestly? And keeping his two identities separate can't be that difficult, really. It'll all be a piece of cake. ---

or, tommyinnit just wanted to pay the rent and save people at the same time. things can't go his way for just once, can they?

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 35

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harness your hopes: By thanotaphobia (blue000jay)

“Well,” Phil says, letting go of the blond’s mouth and wiping his hand on his pants with a grimace. “There’s my unethical deed of the day.” “You committed tax fraud this morning.” “I did no such thing.”

(or, the ethically dubious vigilante!tommy fic, where SBI are crimelords and Tommy just wants his best friend back, man.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 9

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Into the Night: By Interjection

“Don’t touch me,” Tommy hisses, leaning against the railing. “I will - I will-” They’re a hundred stories up. Wind lashes against Phil’s face. Next to him, Sam makes choked noise. “But why?” Tommy looks up to meet Phil’s eyes, terror struck so deep in those pale blue irises Phil thinks they must hold all the world’s fears within them. “You’ll die,” he whispers. “And then I’ll die. But I’ll come back.” “And I don’t want to come back.” Others have the freedom to live. Tommy doesn’t even have the freedom to die. But maybe they can teach him that living doesn’t have to be so bad. ---

(Superpowers AU where whenever someone touches Tommy, they both die. But Tommy will always come back to life eventually. He just wants it to end - but instead, he’s on the run, terrified of how his power will be exploited if he’s caught. A few people reluctantly team up to save him.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 8

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

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Tommyinnit a Vigilante? Never.: By greenpinkroe

Tommyinnit leads one of the worst double lives in history. After his parents death Tommy was quick to take care of himself, and soon his close friend as well. He became a vigilante because he was never able to have the same opportunities considering his financial condition. So as a remedy he gets a grant based internship with a highly respected corporation. The very corporation that helps with any legal work that heroes face, meaning Tommy is surrounded by the people trying to catch him for the better part of most days. His biggest issue now is for them to never find out, and to do the occasional coffee run.

Or, I read a Hero fic with Tommy as a vigilante and fell in love with the idea.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

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Rogue: By milk_tea24

Tommy ran. He ran as fast as he could. He needed to leave. To be safe. And he thought he finally was. He made it out. Away from the monster who raised him. Tommy found friends and got a job. But he screwed everything up like he always does. Now what can he do but what he does best. Go Rogue. ______________________________

Or, Tommy escapes Dream, after being locked away by him for years and becomes a vigilante.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 33

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OTHER ☻

Stay underneath my wing: By sircantus

"Wilby says that- that if a stranger ever tries to grab me, I can bite them." Tommy nods, giving a little glare towards Techno and his bitten hand. "Okay." Technoblade says slowly. "But don't bite me." "No, I'm gonna bite you." ---

SBI Zombie apocalypse AU, in which Tommy is a little kid who's been separated from Wilbur. While Wilbur is on a desperate search for his little brother with Phil, Tommy stumbles across Technoblade, who is the definition of 'no chill' in the zombie apocalypse. Techno accidentally gains a new little brother.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 33/?

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mayday, mayday, mayday: By always_an_anxious_mess

“Mayday mayday mayday, this is Ship 268454, CCS Clara, does anyone copy?” After an accident that he isn’t even sure how occurred, Junior Crewmember Tommy Innit is stuck out in the dead zone of space with a dead crew and on a damaged ship. No nearby inhabited planets. No nearby stations. Nothing. He’s billions of kilometers away from any hope of rescue, and has to figure out a way to safety. Not only that, for the first time in his life, he’s completely alone.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

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The Children's Rebellion: By Aria_Cinabun

His name was Tommy Innes, and he was born to touch the stars. Of course, touching the stars was going to have to wait, because he'd lost that dream the moment his parents had died when he was ten years old—the moment he had watched that starship explosion and felt a bit of his heart die with them. He'd lost that dream when he was transported to prison and then to a place called Pogtopia. He'd lost that dream when he watched hundreds of children starve on the streets of Pogtopia. When he and two friends become the lone survivors of the Red Planet's Genocide. When they were rescued, and he was captured again. But maybe—maybe one day, he would regain that dream. Maybe he would hunt down the mass murderer that had executed his friends and gain his revenge—but that day was not now, and now he sat in a prison and stared at the faraway stars. Perhaps there would be people that he could call family again. People he would see again—people whom he had lost years ago. One day. Because he was an Avian, born to be forever alone amongst broken stars. And Avians did not fall unless they wanted to.

or a science fiction fic about rebellion

Status: Finished

Chapters: 58

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Just One Mistake (is all it will take): By Bluestrasa

Whisper blinked, dumbfounded. “Nix what—” “Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?” She scooped up the body and Whisper finally got a decent look at him. He was young, too young to be passed out alone in a rainy alley. His blonde hair was darkened by water and streaks that must have been blood if his batter face was anything to go by. His skin was pale and his body trembled slightly, even in unconsciousness. Whisper moved side by side with his partner, pulling out first aid supplies and searching for major injuries. “You know this kid?” he asked.

--- or --- What do you get when one of the city's most famous vigilantes is actually a sixteen-year-old with the opposite of flashy powers and severe trust issues? A tragedy in the making, that's what.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 38

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TommyInnit's Maladjusted Magic School Experience: By MikiIsDying

Tommy was bullied for being a late-bloomer in the magical world he was born in. Tommy dreams of being on the magic battle field, but he lacks magical abilities. Disregarding the fact he lacks all qualifications, he applies to go to the most prestigious magic combat training school in the country. By going there, Tommy hopes to be like the famous witches he idolizes. Tommy waits in excruciating anxiety for his acceptance letter to arrive. -

or The writer has nothing better to do in their free time so why not make a terribly written rendition of mcyts but as witches. -

Basically this story is mainly the Dream SMP characters in a fantasy school setting :) Tommy centric + mainly SBI & BenchTrio moments

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/?

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The Last Heist: By crystalSkiez

In Manburg there's no mercy for criminals. Getting caught by the guards is an immediate death sentence. Tommy has managed to avoid them for 9 years now--by day, as an arrogant pickpocket with a mouth almost as fast as his hands, and by night as the renowned Underground thief known only as Theseus. Things are going well, all things considered. And then he gets a message from the infamous Antarctic gang and everything goes to shit. Now Tommy has to handle pulling off the heist of his life, all while hiding his true identity from both the tyrannical government and his new associates in the most feared gang in the city.

or I wanted a sci-fi found family AU with the SBI gang

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 34

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If you're new to DSMP fanfiction I recommend starting with 'tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains' and 'Butterfly Reign' as those two are big parts of the fandom. If you get into fanfiction, you're bound to hear about those and you might be confused if you haven't read them. Another popular one is called 'passerine' but I personally am too much of a wimp to read it cause it's full of angst and will for sure make me depressed. That one might be the most popular by far though, even I know basically the whole plot and I haven't touched it.

If you have an recs for me I'd be happy to see!

[rotisseries]

chapters 51 and 58 of bloodmarked are absolutely CARRYING bree/nick/selwyn polyamory truthers

[marsbotz]

not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time