#He literally helped me SO much with Garfiel

[zeivira]

no rest for the wicked...

pls more

this shit is hilarious

like what are the others thoughts on this "illness" like garfiel, we've seen a bit of otto but i want more of him cuz he's best boi.

i imagine him going on full mama/big bro mood lmao

also that ficrec abt the crack fic by scissors? LMAO thx my parents knew im awake at 3am

point is

i like you now

so im gonna stalk- ahem- stick to you like a leach 🥺🌹

feed me more

The Cap’n's rule about everyone being strictly forbidden from watching him sleep—something about Garfiel being exactly like Rem but without pretty girl privilege—never actually stops the members of the camp from keeping an eye on him while the Cap’n's rests. 

The camp is nothing if not resourceful, and it’s not like they need to be inside the room when he’s sleeping to make sure he stays safe. Waiting a few feet away from the only entrance is just as effective. 

That's why when Garfiel smells a person approaching the Cap’n's room, during a time he knows he is asleep—they spent the last few days traveling to Pristella, like Hoshin traveled the desert to Banan after all—he rushes into the hallway and grabs the visitor's wrist right before it gets to knock at the Cap’n's door. 

"—the hell do ya think yer doin’?" Only after he finishes talking, under the dim hallway light of the mansion-like inn, he takes notice of the visitor's red, flame-like hair. A sharp horror, the one he had felt hours flooded through his entire body, as he realized whose wrist he grabbed. 

For a second, all is still. 

"Hello again, Sir Garfiel," the Sword Saint greets him, smiling as if they were pals and he hadn't evaded Garfiel’s senses and stopped his punch with a casual block a couple hours before. As if he weren’t the main obstacle between Garfiel and the title of Strongest. "I apologize if my presence alerted you, but all I wish to do is talk to Subaru." 

"W-well isn’ that convenient.  Anythin’ ya might need ta tell the Cap’n, ya can tell my amazin’ self instead." Big fat lie. There is a reason why the Cap’n is the Cap’n despite being borderline comatose and apparently not that much older than him. But Garfiel can’t trust anyone stronger than him, and as much as he hates himself for it…

The difference between him and Reinhard van Astrea is like a newborn Earth dragon and the Divine Dragon themself. 

His mere presence makes Garfiel's rawest instincts scream—tell him to either fight-or-flight. Garfiel doesn't want to be anywhere close to Reinhard, but much less he wants Reinhard anywhere close to the Cap’n when he sleeps. At least not until Garfiel proves himself a stronger shield than Reinhard. 

Even if the Cap’n is not defenseless—at least, not usually— he is useless while he isn't awake. And that means Galfield has to fight for both of them.

"I see," Reinhard's lips tilt downwards. "I do not mean disrespect, but what I would like to discuss would be related to something personal, unrelated to our respective camps..." 

Right. Garfield's eyebrow twitches. Right. The Cap’n said they were friends. 

"...the Cap’n's asleep," his voice sounds hoarse even to his ears. Maybe if he makes his tone drier than the Augura Sand Dunes, he can get Reinhard to give up and leave?

Reinhard's eyes widen. "Is that so. From what I gathered he mostly slept during the night." 

Garfield scowls. Of course the Sword Saint knew that much. "The Cap’n does, but he couldn' sleep during the trip, as we moved without pause, just like the Emperor of the Briar who never knew rest," Garfield crosses his arms. "So he is sleeping now and won't wake up in a while." 

"I see..." Reinhard says, and an uncomfortable silence falls between them. His gaze felt so heavy that if Garfiel moved carelessly, he wouldn’t know what his fate would b— "I wanted to ask about my father, actually—” Reinhard spoke up, breaking the silence. “I heard there were some issues close to Lady Priscilla's domain that involved Subaru and him." 

It takes Garfield a second to realize what he is talking about. His joy over learning the one and only Sword Saint's father was joining Emilia's camp to help Subaru stop the Argyle healer evaporated the moment his eyes actually lied on the man. After a couple days he just became Old Man, a skilled drunkard with a sob story, rather than a member of the family his mother used to read him stories about. 

"Issues,” Garfield snorts at Reinhard’s choice of word. “Tha's one way of sayin’ it." He makes a face. "Yeah, I was there too. The Old Man made us go lookin’ for a stupid chalice with the power to cure all sickness, but in the end it's only power w’s turning water into booze. Big ass let down." 

Reinhard’s shoulders sag. "So that’s what happened…” Reinhard’s eyes finally looked past Garfiel and looked at the still closed door, an unreadable thought reflected in them. “...I am glad father was with Subaru and you nonetheless. I can't imagine him taking another disappointment well..." 

How could any member of the group that went after the dumb cup not be disappointed? The chalice would have been able to cure not only the Old Man’s wife, but the Cap’n too. As the camp’s shield it’s his duty to protect everyone from everything—including hereditary diseases. When the Old Man mentioned the rumors, he was the first to tell Emilia they absolutely needed to go.

Still— the entire conversation leaves a bad taste in his mouth. The Cap’n was already carrying enough on his shoulder, with being the Hero that defeated the Archbishop of Sloth, the White Whale and the Great Rabbit— did he really need to trouble himself with family drama when the man ain’t even dead? “Why?” 

Reinhard blinks. “Well, it has been many years—” 

“—no, not that.” Garfiel’s scowl grows. “Why do ya need to imagine it? Yar dad’s alive, you could ask him.”

Reinhard just stares, before a bitter smile covers his lips. “Although true, my father doesn’t enjoy my company, so I wouldn’t like to impose myself when unnecessary.” 

But he is alive, is what he wants to say. “My mom’s dead,” is what he says instead. Because damn— he saw the Old Man, the even Older Man and him talk during dinner and how Ottobro almost lost his head trying to stop Old and Older from killing each other, right before Priscilla arrived saying this was the most amusing shitshow she had seen in weeks. The Old Man genuinely didn’t want to be with Reinhard and his dad.

But he is alive. All three of them are. They can talk. While Garfiel's mom is dead and gone and he can't tell her how much he loves her. "Just because your father is with us, and the Cap’n is strong enough to carry the weight of yar family drama, doesn't mean he should."

Reinhard's eyes widen again. "I—" 

"The Cap’n sleeps longer when he overworks himself," Garfield cuts, his words stronger than any punch he ever did. 

And Reinhard's mouth shuts with an audible click, expression shifting into one of horror— as it should. 

"He carries everyone's problems on his back— no matter how tired he is...!" He clenches his fists. "The Cap’n is so cool, cooler than the Sage and Reid! But precisely because he is like that is that we need to push ourselves harder. Be the people the Cap’n wants us to be, even if he is too shy to tell us. Because— because...!" 

“—will you two please SHUT UP?!" The Cap’n's door parts open with a bang, and the Cap’n appears in the doorway, rubbing his eyes while scowling. “Some of us are actually trying to sleep around here!”

Garfiel rushes back to his room only minutes later, but also doesn't miss Reinhard walking in direction to the Old Man's room rather than the hallway he originally came from.

beta read by @daemonerik

[toon-topaz]

HIII so basically i am obsessed with your vampire if. I've never even had a specific fixation on vampires lol but i LOVE the idea of giving subaru even more reason to be paranoid of the people around him!!! :D ALSO ALSO the trauma of being killed by vampires?? beings he idolises?? Something else he'll probably have a breakdown about yay!!! ^^ ANYWAY if you don't mind me asking how do you think him being human would affect his relationships with others who know/don't know?? Like in canon he's already an incomprehensible weirdo but now that he's ACTIVELY trying to hide something do those not in the know suspect/distrust him even more?? For those that DO know how do they feel about it?? Do they have to like. Actively cover up for him when he slips up?? Does the shared secret bring them closer?? e.g., in Pristella haha what do you mean its suspicious that you've never seen Natsuki eat?? Now that i think about it since Emilia's been established as a subpar liar its probably Otto who has to save Subarus human ass lol assuming he's eventually told as a part of his camp. Sorry for the uncomfortably detailed ask lmao ur au just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go!!

Oh please don't apologize, I am absolutely delighted to be getting interest in my silly little au :D

I’ll try my best to answer all your questions but feel free to ask more or just throw in some ideas of your own hehe, either in reblogs or DMs I don’t mind.

So yes absolutely he will be having many breakdowns about it on top of your usual “stuck in a timeloop of death” breakdowns lol. He learns very quick why being in a world full of vampires is absolutely not fun, and to be fair he did sort of assume he’d get turned at some point and get to live as one. Alas, he’s simply too fragile to withstand the process, if he even gets that far before just dying of blood loss. He’s very tasty.

His relationships with everyone are made even more complex than they already are by the fact that they could straight up kill him if they pick him up wrong. He has to walk on eggshells and he hates it, and so do they. He’s trying so hard to be a tough masculine man like his father, hell he likes being all rough and tumble and play fighting and all that, but he just can’t. Back home he was at least fairly fit and resilient but here, in comparison to everyone else (even the village children)? He feels utterly worthless, and it absolutely starts to skew his sense of self. Was he ever even that athletic? Has he always been so breakable, or is it just that everyone here is superhuman? It’s not even limited to just Reinhard or Garfiel anymore, it’s everyone, including random thugs. The malnutrition from a lack of a balanced diet in the first few months aren’t helping his physical state, nor is the insomnia.

It isn’t helped by the fact that after just a couple loops, he’s legitimately quite afraid of his friends and enemies alike. He doesn’t hold a candle to them, and if any of them were so inclined to harm him, if they suddenly became hostile (he’s carrying a LOT of miasma, AND his human blood is like ambrosia to pretty much every vampire), there would be quite literally nothing he could do to stop him. And the only failsafe he has is rewinding time a bit to try and stop whatever happened from happening this time.

His developing brain is pretty much fucked, because while he’s terrified of his friends he still loves them all so very much, even the ones who have actually killed, maimed, tortured and/or eaten him. The idea of love in his mind goes hand in hand with fear and pain, and there’s no separating it at this point, which leaves him at once incredibly wary and paranoid, and paradoxically very susceptible to manipulation. He can’t hold it against them, if they get a whiff of his blood they can’t help it, no matter how many nights he spends awake and trembling under his covers. The only one he doesn’t fear like this is Beatrice, because she isn’t a vampire. Once they form their contract he at least has someone to hold onto and keep an eye on the door for him. Beatrice swears she won’t let anything get him in his sleep, and she means it.

The one boon all this has given him, if you can call it that, is that it’s turned him into a VERY good liar. He’s much better at improvising a cover story than his canon counterpart, even able to keep track of multiple lies at once. He allows himself to be a bit more open with his own camp, who all are informed eventually, and with a little bit of help from resident fraud expert Otto, he’s able to have a fully crafted and rehearsed backstory, paperwork and all. He’s only this weak because he’s afflicted with a chronic sickness that stunts his vampiric powers. Yes, it’s permanent, it’s a family curse. Don’t worry about how there’s no records of such a disease existing outside of this one certificate that definitely wasn’t forged.

The constant lying is isolating, but at least this secret is one he keeps on purpose, for a very good reason. At least it’s not something he physically cannot talk about lest he and his loved ones be violently punished, like that other thing. Thanks Satella.

As for how everyone else feels about this, I’ve mostly detailed it in that other post (that I have a followup reblog to in the works I promise), I can link it in the replies if you haven’t seen it.

The whole Priestella thing would be VERY funny though, and by funny I mean horrifying, because these damned Archbishops are even scarier now. I haven’t yet thought about how Dragon’s Blood would affect him differently but man it sure is fun to think about.

Anyways yea that’s my brain dump for now uwu, hope you enjoyed and again, don’t be afraid to start a conversation I love to chat

[suffarustuffaru]

A while ago someone asked you for your thoughts on Garfiel. I figured the sibling set should be complete, so what are your thoughts on Frederica?

HALLO FINNB!!! interesting question :o my thoughts on frederica are. a little mixed. but ultimately i think what we’ve seen from her so far is interesting and that she has a lot of potential here.

we just dont know all that much about her :(( on one level i get it—rezeros cast is immense and naturally tappei has to rotate through everyone and give every character focus and spotlight at different times. but bc we dont know that much about frederica i feel like shes mostly just Kinda There, yknow? :<< we know way more about garfiel and i feel like frederica being kept on the backburner for so long kinda works against her and the emilia camp in general writing wise just bc she just has to be stuck in I Havent Had My Character Arc Limbo when the emilia camp is the main group we see consistently for rezeros main route ig. or at least thats my thoughts on it atm :<<

plus i was honestly kinda sad frederica didnt get to go along in arc 5 If Only bc she didnt get to see what her mom is up to firsthand. then theres the actual arc 4-5 interlude with frederica and garf trying to bond after sanctuary that i HOPE gets included in s3 :<< frederica is just lacking in screentime and literally almost any info at all for sure. which makes me sad bc tappei LET ME IN I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HER !!! >:(((

and again i get it that tappei cant develop every character in existence at the same time. dude has to juggle the most massive cast especially by arc 7. but definitely this has its drawbacks especially with the way tappei writes everyone. bc at the moment frederica is one of the characters suffering the most from it—she appeared all the way back in arc 4 and four arcs later i cannot tell you all that much about her :<

i do think though that what we do see from her so far is interesting!! her insecurity regarding her appearance, like her sharp teeth, her being so fond of petra while also being so dead set on disciplining petra firmly when needed (which is sweet!!!), that one ss where frederica takes care of ram when shes feeling more under the weather than usual (which is Again super super adorable), frederica listening with a smile as emilia gushes about subaru to her. and also her just flatly pitying otto and hearing this guy say hes totally normal and being like “he Literally cannot perceive himself accurately at all” + dropping otto in the anime just to hug petra is fucking hilarious i need fredotto fics to actually acknowledge this.

but also other details like—and ok granted i dont remember every detail on frederica (yet) but leaving garfiel like that is still kind of. a dick move HAH. and i know her reason was smth along the lines of wanting to improve the outside world for demihumans iirc but like whats her Full Reasons for doing all that?? what was she even planning to do?? why couldnt she talk to or see garfiel more in this entire time period?? i think it comes with the interesting implication that frederica isnt entirely as nice and sweet as she looks—or at least that of course she herself is flawed. which is fun!!

also her relationship with clind is. ………..naturally of course i dont trust tappei with anything regarding children and clinds weird shit with children but ignoring tappei for a moment i do at least appreciate the complicated thoughts frederica has about clind. how she had feelings for him once and they still linger but she keeps her distance bc hes like That, you know? that feeling of broken trust and “i cared for you now what do i do with This Feeling” is So interesting to me i just hate clind’s whole thing with children bc tappei will never write it in an entirely serious and satisfactory manner 😭 BUT greed if and the dynamic between frederica and clind and frederica having to help kill / kill clind bc of greedbaru and echidnas shit is SO interesting (and clinds lore apart from being Creepy About Children is very interesting). but also poor frederica……….. ;-;

and poor frederica bc if the rumors about her getting more development by like arc 10 or 11 are true then shes gonna be stuck in I Havent Gotten Development Yet Limbo for a while ;-;

but yeah anyway. the frederica crumbs so far are interesting, the shit going on with frederica and garfiels family is Interesting, and i definitely dont trust tappei with children 👍 but i hope we get more info on frederica and that her character arc slaps really hard !! i Need to learn more about her!!!

im not fully familiar with fredericas side of the complicated family drama but if memory serves me right her birth was. not an entirely happy affair bc her poor mom has been through A Lot of shit and frederica was a product of that. and then her mom later tries to go find garfiel’s dad. like all of that is just so incredibly sad to me and again, i wish frederica was there to see what happened to her mom in arc 5, and also im curious about how thats affected frederica more in depth. knowing she wasnt exactly wanted. having these demihuman features from her dad (im assuming), whos also One Of the people who hurt her mom. knowing that she was born a burden, learning that her mom cant entirely take care of her and isnt in a stable life situation and almost certainly isnt mentally stable herself. garfiel coming along and their mom leaving. frederica leaving garfiel in sanctuary herself. her growing up admiring clind, which is an unfortunate parallel to what couldve happened with her mom and garfiel’s dad. its just so so tragic to me and theres a lot of things you could explore there!!

frederica to me seems like someone whos probably grown up too fast, who comes off as composed and very disciplined and likes taking care of others but also fumbles a little at growing closer and is insecure and uncertain herself even as shes good at being the older and wiser one to petra and later garfiel a bit. but also we dont know much about her so im kinda just spitballing here but she has potential methinks :,) im definitely sad that it seems like the fact that shes a pretty anime waifu or whatever kinda overtakes discussions on her character sometimes ;-;

and also one of my pals is really passionate about animals and gave me a whole lecture once a few years ago on why they think fredericas beast form design fucking sucks and i cant remember all of their points now but like i Will back them up i think garfiel and fredericas beast forms could look better but im not an expert at illustrating animals so HAH i cant speak on that. but def the eyebrows on the beast designs is so…… whaaaaat is that 😭 go FULL beast design or NOTHING. WHERE IS MY EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA BUFF FREDERICA BEAST DESIGN !!!

also ngl i just think frederica looks really cute in this shot <333 ALSO iirc she feels like she cant wear cute outfits bc shes insecure about her body and :((((( GIVE THIS GIRL ALL THE CUTEST OUTFITS IN THE WORLD PLEASE :((( and also i just think its a tragedy just how much shes sexualized :(( and i just think there are. a lot of AFAB specific and girlhood specific themes you could explore with fredericas storyline but tappei is tappei so all the foundation is there but idk if i entirely trust him. but on another level i think its fascinating yeah!!! sad how much it flies over audiences heads sometimes.

in conclusion: i like frederica i hope we see more stuff from her. and im crying about how she reportedly wont be getting development for a wall :<<<<

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Re:Zero S2, Episodes 16-17

In which Garfiel’s psyche is laid bare, Subaru proves how far he’s come, and we finally dive into Emilia’s past.

The Lost Child

At this point, Garfiel is the biggest question mark left in Re:Zero’s second season. We’ve gotten backstory, development, and/or motivations for pretty much every other player in this complicated puzzle, except maybe Ryuzu. But Garfiel has been a wild card pretty much since we met him. At times he’s helped Subaru free Arlam’s people from the sanctuary, at other times he’s been Subaru’s worst enemy. The only consistent thing about him was the fact that for some reason, he didn’t want to open the Sanctuary. Other than that, his actions have been all but unpredictable. So it’s about damn time we found out what’s going through his head. And while I’ll have to re-watch this season to really sort out what influenced all his different actions throughout the different loops, finally digging into Garfiel’s heart and soul reveals him to be possibly one of the show’s best characters so far. Yes, I know I’ve been saying that about a lot of Re:Zero’s cast lately, but can you blame me? They’re all so fucking good. Even just on the surface, finding out that Garfiel is still only 14 years old makes so much of his eccentricity click into place. He’s not just an overly zealous chuuni edgelord, he’s the literal age that the phrase “chuunibyou” describes. No wonder he rattles off so many supposedly cool-sounding sayings that just make him sound like a dork.

But that young age also reveals something far deeper: for all his bluster, Garfiel is still just a child. He’s still emotionally immature, even more so than Subaru was before he god isekai’d over. When his mom left him and Frederica behind in the Sanctuary almost a decade ago, he convinced himself it must be because they were a burden on her. It was easier that way, imagining that staying behind was a worthy sacrifice for his mother’s happiness. As long as he thought that way, he didn’t have to think about how much pain she was going through by leaving him. He could hide from the trauma and imagine something good was coming out of this mess. But when he first attempted the trial, he was shown the horrible truth: his mother died in an accident soon after leaving them (Assuming the trial was showing him the truth, to be fair; that’s still a little up in the air). He wanted his suffering to mean she got to be happy, but thanks to a cruel twist of fate, she never got the chance. Which meant not only was his suffering meaningless, but his mother died in pursuit of making his suffering go away. And he couldn’t live in the reality. So he chased the truth out of his mind, replaced it with the lie he told himself, made himself believe his mother didn’t love him because it was easier than believing she died for his sake. And to make the lie complete, he smashed his forehead into the stone until it split and left that ugly cross scar, a scar big enough to cover up the last kiss she’d left on it.

Just... god. Everything about this situation is fucking tragic. Garfiel would rather believe himself unloved than believe he was somehow responsible for robbing his mother of her happiness. And the trauma of that loss has followed him to this day. He’s still the same lost child he was ages ago, crying in a corner and hiding from the truth. He hasn’t moved forward a single step since then. Quite the opposite, in fact; his pain is what’s made him desperate enough to keep all his kinsmen locked inside the barrier. As long as no one leaves, then no one has to risk suffering the same tragedy his mother did. No one has to face the real world and all its misery. They can all stay shut up inside, never moving, never changing, never growing past what’s kept them stuck in place. Garfiel describes himself as a barrier protecting his people from the outside world. In his words, none of them need to know the pain that awaits them out there; he’s the only one who needs to suffer for them all to be happy. He’ll take all their burdens on himself, even if those burdens end up breaking him. It’s a childish, simplistic view of suffering and reality, but that’s what happens when you’ve spent ten years refusing to grow up for fear of what waits when you do. And it’s not lost on me how very familiar that kind of possessive kindness is. You could put these words in Subaru’s mouth just a couple loops ago, and they wouldn’t sound out of place at all. Garfiel might as well be the one who said “I’ve seen hell” during his confrontation with Subaru; that sentiment is what drove both of them at their worst. A desire to take on all the pain and shield their loved ones from it, no matter how badly they had to destroy themselves to do it.

First Step Forward

Thank god, then, that Subaru’s spent the last few episodes breaking out of that mindset. He’s seen the folly of trying to take on everything himself, and he’s seen how wrong it is to deny yourself love because you think it might hurt you. He’s been in Garfiel’s shoes, and he knows that staying stuck in place like that is the fastest way to destroy everything you’re trying to protect. No matter how terrifying it is, you have to take that first step forward. You have to let yourself grow and change, to let in pain and let others help you carry it. Because once you decide to move forward, who has the right to stop you? With Rem’s encouragement, with Emilia at his side, with everyone’s expectations pushing him forward, he’s braver and stronger now than he ever was when he was trying to shoulder everything alone. And Jesus fucking shit does he prove it. I was already cackling when he took Garfiel’s punch to the face without flinching, but then he PULLS OUT THE GODDAMN UNSEEN HAND?! WHAT?!?!?! I guess Echidna wasn’t kidding about him picking up the Sloth Factor from axing Betelgeuse, because GOD. Subaru’s come so far that he’s even able to call on one of his worst enemy’s weapon and use it to his advantage. That’s how much he’s grown just by having the courage to step forward. Even if he’s still a giant fucking loser who gives his new attack a chuuni-ass name, writes cringey graffiti to support to Emilia on the trial walls, and absolutely fucking dies in embarrassment when he realizes Garfiel saw his “love letter” before the girl he wrote it for (”You’re not a kid, so don’t act like- wait, you are a kid!”) God, I love this dork so much.

And as overly direct as his approach might be (”Sorry, but it’s the Natsuki family way to trample over people’s hearts with our shoes on!”), that message reaches Garfiel loud and clear. Garfiel’s just a kid; he can’t take on all this pressure alone, and his can’t keep hurting himself by staying stuck in place. He needs to face his past, accept the pain, and accept that no matter how much it hurts, his mother loved him. She cared for him. And he deserves to see the outside world she wanted to give him. And man, I’m not ashamed to admit how emotional I got when he finally smiles and thanks Subaru for reminding him that his mom loved him. At the end of the day, Garfiel really is just a big, sweet idiot, someone who loved his family too much to give up on them so easily. Someone who deserves the same happiness that Subaru and his friends are fighting for. And I’m so fucking happy he’s on the nakama squad now (”Did you just say thank you?” “I’M NOT SAYING IT AGAIN!”) God knows, his future is looking much brighter now that he’s no longer facing it alone.

Child of the Elven Forest

But before we reach that future, there’s still one more person who needs to face their past. Which means it’s time, at long last, to dive into the life Emilia led before her people were frozen in ice. This lore dump has been built up since the beginning of this season, so you better believe I’m gonna hang on to every piece of it. By the looks of things, it’s gonna take three whole episodes to cover it all, making it the longest backstory in this show’s history by a wide margin (and that’s not even counting how ludicrously long the episodes are in comparison to earlier episodes of exposition). Safe to say, the shit we’re learning here probably matters more than any other information we’ve taken in this arc. It’s also probably going to be the most traumatizing part, as terrifying as that is to imagine. If not to us, it certainly will be to Emilia; whatever horrors are in her past, we’ve seen full well the effects they’ve had on her. This time, though, she’s determined to face them head-on. No more cowering, no more fear, no more leaning on the men around her for strength; this time, Emilia’s gonna be the hero that the Sanctuary deserves, no matter how deep her fear still runs. Hell, she even tells Echidna off with the same swaggering introduction Subaru first used on her all those episodes ago. And can I say, I did not expect to love Emilia and Echidna’s banter as much as I did. Echidna absolutely hates her guts, but Emilia’s such a softie that she happily takes the barbs in stride and tosses them back in the witch’s face (”Thank you for explaining, even though you hate me.”) They play off each other scarily well.

Of course, as fun as their interactions are, the real meat here is the dive into the Elven village Emilia once called home. And even just this first chunk of it has my brain spinning with information. This village was sealed away just like the Sanctuary, and all its inhabitants were kept inside, unable to leave. On the bright side, it’s at least a far nicer place to live than the run-down Sanctuary; this forest enclave is drop-dead gorgeous. Elves in fiction always have the best fashion/architecture sense, what can I say? You get such a strong sense of community from their few interactions, how they’ve some to rely on and support each other through this difficult situation. And then there’s baby Emilia herself, who is just... the most adorable creature on the planet. Mother of god, I cannot with this child. Her enthusiasm, her giggles, how she verbalizes so many sounds she makes (”Sneaky sneak!”) (”Clap, clap, clap!”), how she prances around the forest like the rambunctious, easily excitable kid she is... god, it’s too fucking precious. She’s a scampering pule of rainbows and laughter and I don’t know how to handle it. Clearly, her aunt’s only keeping her locked in a small room because she knows how dangerous such concentrated cute is. The rest of the world must be protected from the sheer power her adorableness. Surely there’s no darker secret going on that would explain why Emilia has to be kept out of sight. Nothing worrying about it at all, no sir. Nothing wrong with this picture.

Nope. Nothing wrong at all.

*Inhale*

SO HOW ABOUT THAT FUCKING BETELGEUSE HUH

Before His Brain Trembled

Holy shit. Holy goddamn shit. Of all the surprises I was expecting from Emilia’s backstory, this was a twist I never saw coming. The Witch Cult was in regular contact with the sealed village! They were the elves’ liaison to the outside world! And not only that- they were nice! They were just a bunch of normal people who didn’t hide their faces with sinister hoods! Betelgeuse himself was just a decent guy with a normal face who didn’t gibber about his trembling brain every five seconds! This is, without question, one of the biggest mindfucks this show has pulled yet. After all the despicable things we saw the cultists do in season 1, after knowing how evil Betelgeuse turned out to be, finding out they used to be actually decent people has thrown me for a loop like nothing else. Who were the cultists before they went mad? What was the purpose of their organization? Did the Witch of Envy used to be genuinely nice, as we’ve seen she’s capable of? Why were they, of all people, the ones who looked out for the elves? Betelgeuse makes a comment that he and his fellow cultists are already sinners by this point, but what does that mean? Perhaps he means that his group has become a target of scorn and distaste for helping the elves, and now they’re just as much outcasts? Perhaps some of the darkness that will one day warp them into monsters has already taken hold? There are too many possibilities to keep track of, and each one is wilder than the last.

And then there’s the Geuse himself. I’m not gonna lie, seeing this dude be so normal after his manic flailing and Looney-Tunes expressions is somehow even more terrifying. The Geuse we meet in the past is a stand-up dude who seems to have the elves best interests at heart. He even has a sweet family dynamic with Emilia and her aunt, Mother Fortuna, and god dammit I hate that I agree with Emilia shipping them. They are too perfect together for the horrors I know are about to descend. What could have possibly changed Geuse from a decent dude to a raving lunatic? The one terrifying thing he’s done thus far is break down in tears at the sight of Emilia, and even then we’re still not sure why. Does he see Satella’ silver-haired half-elf image in her silhouette? That must be part of it, but what does that realization mean to him? Does he love her? Covet her? Want to protect her? Is this the start of his affection that will one day grow in the poisonous envy we know and love/hate? How do his feelings for Mother Fortune play into the person he’ll become? Once again, there are too many variables. But one thing’s for sure: Betelgeuse wasn’t always a monster. Once upon a time, the group he led was a force for good. And something burned that peace to the ground. Something- or someone- turned this man into a living nightmare. And with the Archbishop of Greed suddenly announcing his presence, I think we’re about to find out just how things went so horrifically wrong. God help me, I’m not ready. I can only hope that Emilia’s will is stronger than mine.

Odds and Ends

-”You think I’m afraid?!””That’s why you’re shouting and trying to make yourself bigger, isn’t it?” Man, Emilia gets the best lines.

-He... stabbed him with Frederica’s crystal? Okay, huh.

-”Maybe there’s a really hungry cat hanging around outside it?” SUBARU I SWEAR TO GOD

-PATRASCHE GOT REVENGE!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHH!!!!!

-”Then get off me. My feet are going numb.” Ram I love you so much

-I appreciate that just losing the battle didn’t make Garfiel change his mind. He’s got to get over his shit first.

-”Between the two of us, you’re above me, though.” And don’t you forget it.

-That shot of Emilia entering the trial chamber is beautiful.

-”He really has rubbed off on you.” “Really? Thank you.” sdkjfhsdf you sassy fuck

-”You’re always flirting with her anyway, why does it matter if you put it in writing this time?” YOU’RE NOT WRONG OTTO

-”I expect her to brush it off!” Well, Subaru, you’re sort of in a real relationship with her now. Get ready for her to take you seriously.

-”A promise is the embodiment of trust.” Well, now we know why she puts so much faith in promises. Fortuna really made them matter to her.

-Okay, so Geuse is super long-lived as well, huh? Interesting...

-”Stop talking like you’re drunk on yourself!” I swear, Regulus is totally being built up as a supervillain version of a whiny Reddit mansplainer. It’s great.

I’m not ready for the next set of episodes, folks. I’m really not. But I’ll see you then regardless.

[sweetcloverheart]

Unpopular Opinion Time

I feel one of the issues I always had with Re:Zero discourse - specifically the brand related to Subaru and everything that happened in the second half of season 1, is that it completely ignored the fact that because of how Return By Death works, Subaru’s perception of time is...sort of messed up? And it plays so hard into how he sees his relationship with Emilia and everyone.

Like for him, he’s practically spent like half a year or longer with them what with how many timeloops he has to go through to get to even a passable good timeline route, while for them it’s still practically day one of their first meeting, so it comes off as weird to them that this complete stranger is acting so familiar and devoted and trying so hard to solve their problems when they all just met (and that’s ignoring Subaru’s overcompensating with a cheery, goofy persona) - so that when Emilia reacted badly to his trying to stand up for her during the candidate conference he got desperate and just ruined things for himself in the long run by acting like this was still the Emilia who saved him in that alleyway and the not the Emilia who’s only interacted with him vaguely for the past few weeks and only knows him from his act of almost getting his stomach cut open and saving the village from Mabeasts. It takes him so many deaths to realize all those relationships and bonding moments he had are gone and that yeah, he’s the only one who sees them as friends now and he really does have to build all those connections back from the ground up to even get close to what they had in the previous timeline and even then, it won’t be the same thing, because Subaru’s feelings will still (perceptively) years ahead of them. He has to find ways to explain these years worth of feelings that would make sense to the fact that they’ve only known each other a short time, because he can’t rely on “I just wanted to.” or “Because your important to me” or even the feelings in general to someone who doesn’t view him the way that those things work anymore. He has to treat the relationship like it’s still on day 1 when he’s way pass that stage because these are no longer the people who he became friends with, but complete strangers now.

And then second season comes and he goes so goddamn hard in the opposite direction - he assumes his relationships and his perception of them are shallow, that he’s the one reading too much into things, that they aren’t friends and he shouldn’t expect much because of that. From his perspective, he’s not someone worth caring over, because there was never any time such care could be built or made - and it’s so damn isolating for him because he feels he doesn’t have anyone to actually go to, that he has a deep enough relationship to really express the problems he’s dealing with (that and Return By Death doesn’t allow him talk about it anyways), and just sinks his already low self-worth into near subterranean levels. So when  Beatrice tells him she only befriended him because of the Gospel, it cuts so deeply because he did see their relationship as a mutual constant within the timeloops. When Otto came to save him from Garfiel and says it’s because they’re friends, he literally laughed himself to tears because he was surprised over how stupid he was to never considered the fact that Otto would feel that way towards him when they’ve (to him) not spent that much time together. When he sees all the villagers helping to rescue him, he’s shocked so many people value him to the point they were willing to risk so much just to save him (which makes their subsequent murders in this attempt all the more painful). When he’s able to tell Echidna about his powers, he breaks down sobbing because of how relieving it is to finally have someone he can actually share these things with, that he can finally have a relationship that was on equal(ish) ground because he can talk about all his experiences and the trauma he’s been through (though we all know how that sadly ended). Garfiel saving him in one loop after imprisoning him in another has him confused that he would even do that for someone he didn’t trust to that point. Best Girl Patrasche constantly taking killing blows and worse for him in the other loops and waiting for him to wake up from the second trial in the most recent was strange to him because he couldn’t consider someone who he thought he wasn’t all that close to worrying about him or his safety to that extent. Hell, the entire situation with Rem is a perfect parallel because you have Subaru worrying and beating himself up over having failed to save someone who cared about him deeply, who constantly sacrifice herself for him, who actually saw something worthwhile in the worthless him - while everyone else just sees him crying over a literally nobody they no longer have the memories of to feel similarly or fully understand where his anguish is coming from.

So much of Subaru’s views of his relationships with others are so deeply tied into the fact that he’s experiencing entire months in the span of one day with none of the ability to share that, and I wish the fandom would talk about and acknowledge that more often

[edxwin-elric]

Darkest Roads - Ch.2

Chapter 2: Just Business

Rating: T

Pairing: Edwin/Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Total Work Count: 15k

Chapter Word Count: 4.5k

Description: Edwin Street Race AU – A meeting is set for the part and new players are introduced in the Central City underground.

@fmabigbangs

ffn || ao3 || tag

previous chapter || next chapter

Winry

He never texted.

I didn’t really start hoping for him to until the fourth day, since it was supposed to be a business deal. Though, I’m not sure, but…I’m pretty sure he was flirting with me. Maybe not flirting but he seemed interested… Unless I made that up.

I rise from my seat at my workbench and walk toward my dresser.

But it doesn’t even matter if he was flirting or interested or whatever because it was supposed to be business. I paid that Donovan guy a hundred thousand cens, and Edward agreed to text me when my part came in.

That was a week ago. A week.

As in seven whole days.

And still nothing!

I’m starting to think he and Donovan played me.

…maybe.

I turn around and walk in the other direction.

I mean, I don’t know… He seemed really sincere at the time. He was definitely serious about me never going back to Sinners’ Lane again. That’s for sure. Could he really have conned me out of seventy thousand cens?

I spin around to pace back the other way.

But then why would he have helped me pay Donovan in the first place?

He probably forgot my number. God, that is so like a guy, to say “I’ll remember it,” like a douchebag and then immediately forget it. And, of course, he wouldn’t give me his number, for whatever reason, so now I’m just—

“Winry, are you even listening to me?”

“Huh? What?” I stop walking and turn to look at Paninya, who is sitting on my workbench frowning at me.

“I was talking to you about the upgrade, but I’m pretty sure you’re on another planet.”

“Sorry,” I mutter, moving to sit down on the edge of my bed. “I… What were you saying?”

“I was asking how much longer you think it’ll be. I mean, I don’t mind waiting, but I was kind of looking forward to my knees not hurting every time it rains.”

I sigh and flop onto my back.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “The guy said–”

“The hot one?”

Wow do I regret mentioning he was hot.

“More like the hotheaded one,” I correct, shifting my eyes to look at her. “But yeah, Edward. He said he’d text me when he had it, and so far…”

I cross my arms in the air as a big X meaning I have received nothing from him.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

I was really hoping this upgrade would work out. I still haven’t told her I only asked for one double-hinged auto retractor and not two, so even if it did come in, only one of her knees would be fully upgraded. But I just can’t afford a second one right now. Not when they cost two hundred thousand cens each.

“It’s probably better this way,” she says quieter, and I lift my head to look at her. “I still haven’t told Dominic about it.”

“What?” I jerk into a sitting position.

Dominic is her primary automail mechanic, but more importantly, he’s her adoptive father.

“Paninya, he–”

“I know,” she cuts me off, rubbing her hands over her face. “He deserves to know. I just… I know what he’ll say. That it isn’t worth the risk and pain of changing out both joints when I’m not completely done growing yet especially for such expensive pieces, but… I haven’t gotten any taller in the last year! And it’s not like you’re going to build completely new legs, just knee joints!”

“I know.”

And I’m hoping to make them so they can be transferred to any new automail legs she might need in the future.

She exhales loudly and jumps down from my workbench to pace in the same place I just was.

“And it’s not that I don’t appreciate what he’s done for me,” she goes on. “I love my automail. I just…”

“You are still planning on having me reinstall your weapons when I do the upgrade, right?”

She stops and turns to look at me.

“I mean…if you’re still willing to do it.”

I nod, and pull my legs up, twisting so that I’m facing her fully, sitting cross-legged on my mattress.

Last year, when Dominic fitted her with new legs to accommodate her last growth spurt, he added a concealed blade in her right shin and a 1.5-inch tear gas cannon to her left for self-defense. Six months ago, new restrictions were passed on automail as part of a government combat automail control bill. All weapons are required to be licensed and registered, and no one under the age of twenty-one is allowed to have any at all. Dominic disagreed with the new rules as much as we did, but he removed the weapons anyway since Pan is only seventeen. By putting them back, I’ll be breaking the law, but considering the kinds of activities she gets up to in her spare time, it’s worth it to me for her to be safe. In truth, I’m more concerned about Dominic’s reaction to me helping her than I am about the legality of it.

“Can we just worry about it when the parts finally come in?” she asks finally.

“Sure.” I nod again. “But I really think you should tell Dominic. At least about getting your joints upgraded.”

She sighs loudly and falls onto the stool at my workbench.

“I know you don’t want to, but he should at least be sort of understanding when you explain how your stumps and joints bother you when it rains, right?”

“Maybe. But then he’ll question why I’m having you do it and not him, since he’s designed all my automail before.”

“You can tell him it’s for my thesis project,” I volunteer quickly. “That Mr. Garfiel is having me design, build, and install a completely original design as part of my apprenticeship, and before I do a full arm or leg he’s having me start with some joints.”

She blinks and her face brightens.

“That might actually work.”

“Thanks.” I feel a glow of pride in my chest.

Though, maybe I shouldn’t, considering how deceptive this whole thing is. Am I really proud of lying? Gah. My brain can’t handle a moral dilemma on top of everything else.

“Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure. How about…”

My phone pings, and I blink, whipping my head around to look at it.

Paninya stands and grabs it off the workbench where I left it, scanning the screen.

“Princess, I have it,” she reads slowly before looking up at me. “What the hell?”

I groan and slide off the bed.

“It’s him,” I mutter, crossing to take the phone from her. “The guy with the part.”

“Really?” She raises her eyebrows. “He calls you ‘princess?’”

“Yeah. I can’t get him to stop.”

“Kinky.” She grins, and I smack her in the arm.

“Shut up.”

I text him back quickly, resisting the urge to tell him off for not messaging me sooner. And for calling me “princess” again.

“What is he saying?” Pan leans over my shoulder, and I hit send before turning off the screen. The last thing I need is her eavesdropping.

“We’re setting up a time and place to meet so he can give me the stuff, and I can pay him.”

“You should meet in City Park,” she announces. “Late, though, when there aren’t as many people around. Like nine pm. If you go too late cops start patrolling.”

I nod and send Edward her suggestion. I don’t have to ask her how she knows so much about secret rendezvous spots for underground trades. Before Dominic adopted her when she was twelve, Paninya grew up on Sinner’s Lane. She hasn’t shared all of the details with me, and I haven’t pushed, but from what she’s said I know she ran product for some of the local dealers on top of becoming a highly skilled pickpocket. (I have a feeling the accident that took her legs is related, but I can’t be sure.) It took six months to break her habit at school where I kept finding stolen items in her locker. Luckily, those items all found their way to the lost-and-found, and she never got caught.

Edward texts me back, confirming the meet, and I take a minute to add his number to my contacts.

“Tomorrow night,” I announce, sliding the phone in my pocket.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“Like I told you last time, it’s too risky for you. Dominic will catch you for sure if you sneak out, and I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Or raise his suspicions.

“Besides,” I continue before she can argue, “City Park is much safer than where I went before.”

“That’s true I guess.”

“It is. So, if that’s settled, wanna go find something to eat?”

“Sure.”

I instantly start for the door.

“Hold on,” she calls after me. “You’re not going solo just so you can be alone with the hot guy again, are you? I mean, you know he’s bad news, right?”

Crap.

“No,” I answer her calmly. “I’m going alone because it makes more sense. And just because he’s hot doesn’t mean I lose all sense of reason when he’s around. It isn’t a date; it’s just business.”

She gives me a knowing look, and I want to slap her. I mean, I’m telling the truth.

I think.

“What?” I frown when her eyes widen and shift to the side.

“Nothing, just…is that not exactly what you said about that guy you met online, Neil or whatever, when he was talking to you about cold weather automail?”

“No,” I sputter. “I mean, maybe, but only because it’s true.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously! Neil is just a friend. I was interested in his work. That was it!”

“You told me he almost kissed you.”

Oh my God. Why does she remember that? It was one time!

“Uh, yeah.” I roll my eyes. “The keyword being ‘almost.’”

He and I met up in Rush Valley for an automail convention and he asked me to lunch, and at the end, he leaned in, and…I leaned down to grab my purse.

“And if the hot guy almost kisses you?” Paninya continues.

“His name is Edward,” I snap.

“Fine, if Edward almost kisses you?”

“Why would he do that?” I cross my arms, still attempting to deflect her question. “We barely know each other.”

“You told me he was flirting with you,” she points out. “And I know guys from the Lane. Barely knowing a girl isn’t a deterrent to kissing her.”

Really? That’s… I don’t know what to do with that. I mean, what if he does try to kiss me? Do I want him to? Do I not?

Oh my God! This is nuts!

“He’s not going to try to kiss me,” I say with conviction. “We are literally only meeting to exchange money for automail parts.”

“Yeah. Sure. Okay.” She nods, sarcasm lacing every word she says. “Let me know how that goes.”

She walks past me out the door, and I glare after her, my mind spinning with her insinuation.

I mean, Edward wouldn’t actually try to kiss me, right? If he were interested in me as more than a…girl he met one time at a street race, wouldn’t he have texted me before today?

“Winry, are you coming?”

“Yeah. Yes!”

God. I can’t worry about this now. If he tries to kiss me when we meet…I’ll worry about it then.

Edward

Damn, she tastes like heaven.

“Ed…” she moans against my mouth. “Oh God.”

I kiss her harder, my fingers sliding under the hem of her top. She gasps at my touch, and I curse my automail for denying me the feel of her soft skin. Her knees go weak, and I lower her to the ground, covering her with my body. I tilt my head to kiss her better, her lips parting in surprise, allowing me just enough room to taste her tongue with mine.

“Ed,” she pleads this time, her fingers digging into my hair.

My palms slide over her sides—damn, her body fits perfectly in my hands.

“Oh!” She arches her neck, and I drop my lips to kiss the vein there.

And then lower to her shoulder where her top is slipping. It’s like kissing satin.

“Princess,” I whisper, kissing her again.

She moans my name, and I grab a handful of grass beside her head.

“Someone will see,” she chokes, her eyes opening wide. “We can’t!”

I kiss her cheek. Her jaw.

“No one is around,” I remind her, my thumb making tiny circles on the skin over her ribs. “City Park is abandoned at this hour.”

“But…but…” Her eyes flutter closed. “This was just business.”

I grin against her ear. “Says who?”

Her fingers tighten in my hair, and her knees open allowing my hips to fall through.

Holy shit. I could fucking howl.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I jerk awake and nearly fall out of my bed.

“Whada fuck?” I slur, squinting.

“Brother, what the heck are you doing in there!”

Shit! I was sleeping? I groan, rubbing my hand over my face. It takes a second for my body to wake up.

Well.

I grimace and throw my head back against my pillow. One part of me is definitely already awake.

“Brother!”

“It was just a dream, Al!” I shout back at him, trying to keep just how frustrated I am out of my voice.

“It’s almost noon,” he calls back. “Don’t you have to be places today?”

Shit. Shit. Shit!

Throwing the sheets off, I stumble out of bed and swing open the door, forcing Al to jump back as I move past him.

“I needa shower,” I mumble.

I’m supposed to be at work at one, and I was planning to go to the garage first to check on my baby. Now, I’ll barely be there on time.

“Don’t you have school?” I yell back to him.

“It’s Saturday.”

I hear his amused answer but don’t have time to flip him off because it takes at least five minutes to heat up the shower, so the sooner I get the water on the better. While I’m waiting for it to heat up, I grab my automail maintenance stuff, and wince at the bottle of antioxidant oil. I’m supposed to apply it any time I get my automail wet, but with an entire arm and leg of automail, it goes down really fast. And since it costs almost an arm and a leg to buy a new bottle, I’m stuck.

“Fuck.”

I bet there’s a dealer I can negotiate with on the Lane, but I don’t have time today, and funds have been tight since I helped Winry out with Donovan.

“Winry.”

Saying her name sends a rush of intense dream images flashing through my head, which I immediately try to forget as I strip off my shorts and step into the shower. It’s no use though, because I can’t get her out of my brain.

Her adorable smile. Her deep blue eyes. All that pretty blonde hair. It’s probably as long as mine, and hell if I don’t want to run my fingers through it. Not to mention her perfect curves and those legs that go on forever…

What I wouldn’t give to see her in a skirt.

“Fuck,” I hiss as I squeeze the bar of soap in my hand.

I tilt my head back under the steaming spray and grind my teeth. Soap is not the thing I want to have my fist wrapped around.

On the other hand, I shouldn’t entertain any kind of dirty thoughts about Winry. All my business with her is literally just business. I’ll see her tonight for the meeting and never again.

I turn and reach for the faucet. If I take a cold shower, maybe I can kill this stupid bodily reaction. Of course, then I would just be a different kind of uncomfortable.

“Bullshit,” I mutter, grabbing the shampoo.

All I have to do is not think about her, and I’ll be fine. No need to torture myself. She’s just some girl I met one time. It can’t be that difficult.

“You’re late, Elric.”

I wince at the deep voice from behind the meat counter as I rush to the back.

A cold shower did not help with my…problem, but it did make me late to get dressed, which made me late to catch the bus, which of course, got stuck in traffic somehow, so I had to run the last three miles, and ultimately, I  was still five minutes late.

I think I might be cursed.

“Sorry,” I mutter pathetically as I grab an apron and hurry to the sink to scrub my hands before putting on gloves.

I steal a look at my giant of a boss, and quickly look away when I see the intense stare he has me pinned with.

“How much trouble am I in this time?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“You’re in luck,” he rumbles, crossing his arms. “She hasn’t come out front yet, so you’re in the clear.”

“Really?” I look up in surprise.

Maybe I’m not cursed after all.

“Just don’t tell her, and I won’t say anything either.”

“Got it.”

Mr. Curtis might be as big as a house with a voice of booming thunder, but it’s his wife who’s the scary one. She says she’s just a housewife, but I saw her fight off a mugger once, and… I’d bet my two good limbs she could take on the entire Devil’s Nest and walk away without a scratch. Not that she’s mean or anything, she can be really nice and sort of motherly when she wants to be. She’s just also really tough. And she’s strict about her rules for employees. Being on time is nonnegotiable.

“You two aren’t talking about me, are you?”

I flinch and try to hide it when Izumi comes out from the side room with her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised.

“Of course not, dear,” Sig says smoothly before his features crease with a frown. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine.”

She waves away his concern, but now that I’m looking, her face looks paler than normal.

“Edward,” she calls my name, and I straighten like a member of the military.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I have some delivery orders I want you to run today.”

“Oh.” I nod and shift my weight. “But you know I don’t have my car back yet,” I remind her.

“Right.” She frowns. “Well, I guess for now you can borrow the bike, but!” she says quickly when my jaw drops open, “if you scratch it…”

Her eyes narrow on me, and I swallow.

“I won’t scratch it,” I promise.

“Good.” She nods, her look softening. “The orders are in the fridge.”

“Great. Got it.”

Grabbing the insulated bag from under the counter, I go to the back room and start checking the orders against the form posted on the door to the refrigerator and packing the meat.

“Weird,” I mutter as I slide in the last one and zip up my carrier.

All but two of them are for regular customers. The other ones don’t have labels.

“Hey, Izumi,” I call as I walk out, looping the strap over my shoulder. “Where are these two going?”

I show her the blank orders listed on the official report.

“Ah.” She nods. “Those are for our friends in the Xingese District. You can stop by there last.”

“Right.” I turn and head for the alley.

She doesn’t have to elaborate any further than that. The only “friends” she could be referring to in the Xingese District are members of the Yao clan, a large and wealthy family that owns the Imperial, the fanciest hotel in Central City. Rumors of underground gambling and illicit drugs have surrounded it for years, but no one has ever been able to prove anything. Other, wilder rumors about the patriarch of the family being terminally ill with an extremely rare disease and obsessed with a search for a cure have also been floating around, along with some of the wild and untested methods he’s considered.

But I’m not really worried about that. I’m just trying to deliver some meat.

Strapping the carrier to the bike, I swing my leg over and adjust my helmet before flipping the kickstand and revving the engine.

“Fuuuuck,” I hiss.

After an initial roar, the engine quiets to a low rumble. Not as sweet as when my baby purrs, but the feel of the raw power between my legs is intense.

“What did I say about scratching it?” Izumi’s yell catches me by surprise, and I lurch forward before stopping.

“I won’t,” I call back as I whip my head around.

“That’s right. You won’t.” She gives me a final parting look and disappears back into the building.

With the threat of imminent doom hanging over my head, should I fail to keep her bike safe, I pull out of the alley into the road.

It only takes me forty-five minutes to get the regular orders delivered, and then I head for the Xingese District, being careful to avoid back alleys and side streets because, while I know these streets like the back of my hand, I also know main roads are safer during daylight hours, especially when I’m on a borrowed motorcycle.

When I reach the Imperial, I pull up to the front door, only to be immediately waved forward by a glaring attendant. His sunglasses hide his eyes, but his frown is impossible to miss.

“Where do I go then?” I ask, the rude edge clearly audible in my tone.

“This way,” a small girl with braids calls to me as she steps up to the curb and starts walking around the side of the building. “Deliveries are always taken in the alley, directly to the kitchen or storage rooms,” she explains when I stop in a loading dock.

“Sorry, but do you work here?” I frown at her.

“Essentially.” She shrugs. “I’m Mei Chang, and the head of the Imperial is my father,” she explains, “but he has a lot of kids so the only way for any of his children to inherit is to remain close to him, so I’m here to maintain that connection.”

“Aha.” I nod, totally not understanding how this family functions at all, not that my own is a great model anyway. “Well, where do I go now?”

“This way.” She leads me through a side entrance and into a kitchen. “Normally, you would leave the food in the fridge and sign here that you left it.” She points to a form by the counter. “However, since you’ve never delivered before, you’ll have to take the food to a senior staff member to inspect it first.”

Internally, I roll my eyes as I follow her out into the dining area with the packages of cold meat in my hands.

“Mei,” a male voice calls out as soon as we enter the room.

“Ling.” She starts walking faster, and I rush to keep up.

She stops at a table full of food where a lean guy about my age is dressed in all black from head to toe, except his arms which are completely bare due to his sleeveless shirt.

“And who is this?”

“New delivery person,” she announces. “You should check his meat. I’ve got to go back to the front.”

“Edward,” I introduce myself as the small girl walks off. “Call me Ed.”

“Ling,” he mumbles through a fresh bite of food. “Hungry?”

“No, thanks.” I shake my head. “I’m good.”

“That’s okay. Lan Fan can have some.”

He jerks his head back which is when I suddenly notice the stony-faced girl standing behind him, knives glinting in holsters on both of her hips, and despite her casual stance, I get the feeling she’s ready to spring into action at any moment.

“No thank you, my lord,” she says softly, and one of my eyebrows quirks.

“‘My lord?’” I echo.

“Is that a problem for you?” Ling squints at me, and I shake my head.

“No problem. I just have your meat.”

“Let me see it.”

Shoving some of his many plates aside, Ling clears some space and I set the meat packages in front of him. He opens one and looks at it for half a second before declaring them both good and reaching for another plate of food.

“Is this really all for you?” I murmur, still not sure what I’m seeing.

“I like food.” He shrugs. “And I have jet lag, so my stomach hasn’t caught up to what time of day is supposed to be mealtime.”

“Jet lag?”

“I just arrived from Xing last night. Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve made a pretty significant discovery that could affect my father’s diagnosis.”

I blink at him.

“Master Ling, please tell me you aren’t sharing our family business with random strangers again,” an old man suddenly comes out of the shadows and steps between us, causing me to take a step back.

“Hardly, Fu,” Ling waves his hand. “I was telling my new friend, Edward.”

“Friend? Hold on, I barely even–”

“Well, he’s working,” Fu says over me, “so it’s probably time he got going, right Edward?”

He gives me a look that leaves no room for argument, and I nod.

“Yeah, uh, I’ve got meat to…do.”

“Well, at least leave your number,” Ling calls as I back away. “Give it to Mei. That way we can talk more sometime.”

What the heck?

Fu leads me back through the kitchens, and I sigh with relief as I quickly scan the bike for scratches and come up empty. Climbing back on, I hear footsteps behind me.

“Ed!” Mei says suddenly, “before you go, could you give this to your brother for me?”

“What?” I feel my eyes narrow at her as I frown. “How do you know my brother?”

“From school,” she answers jerking back, as if it should’ve been obvious, and…maybe it should’ve. “It’s his chemistry notes,” she explains holding a notebook out to me. “I borrowed them to compare them with some old texts I have here. We’re working on a project and–”

“I really don’t need details,” I murmur. “But I’ll make sure he gets them.”

“Okay, thanks!”

She beams, and I reach up to clasp the helmet strap under my chin before tucking the notebook into the carrier behind me.

“See you later then.”

She waves as I start the bike and pull out down the alley and head back to the butcher shop where people and things make sense.

[writinganiki]

Greed x Reader 7

After fully grasping what was happening, and what exactly Ling was holding in his hand, you yelled out in surprise, “You stole a philosopher’s stone?!” You had sprung up off your stool and onto your feet, looking down at the small object in surprise. Could this tiny stone really be as devastating and powerful as Ling described? If it was, an object sought after enough to fuel an entire false war was sitting right in front of you, being stowed away in a pocket like loose change.

Ling quickly shushed you, putting a hand up to your mouth and looking around suspiciously. His eyes focused like a hawks, sharping all his other senses as well as he checked near all the entrances and windows. In a whisper he continued, “Yes, it’s a philosopher’s stone,” Greed continued the sentence, “It feels just like me, ya know? Lotsa little voices calling out from it, swirlin’ around inside.”

The words made you shudder, just the idea of human lives being used to power alchemy knotted your stomach and made you feel sick. “H-how many?” was all you could squeak out.

Greed held the stone between two fingers, it was shaped like a small quartz crystal, not even an inch in length and maybe a hair more than a centimeter wide, almost as thought it could be snapped like a simple pencil. “This little guy? Honestly, couldn’t tell ya.” He scratched at his chin, squinting his eyes in a completely different way than Ling, a confused look like he was trying to figure out something he knew absolutely nothing about. It was actually kinda cute from such a rough person. “See, thing is, I was made pretty differently than a normal stone, the bastard who made me was sorta a walking philosopher’s stone himself and kinda… like… it’s hard to explain...” A sigh followed, Greed’s slacked posture sitting up a little bit as Ling’s voice joined in, “The homunculi are artificial humans powered by philosopher’s stones, like I explained, however their stones are but parts of the much more powerful stone possessed by a man named Father, this one here is an original creation. I’m so sorry you got caught up in this, I’m just glad I was there to protect you.”

Following along with the explanation, you nodded, “About that saving thing, thank you again as well, but I could have handled myself back there.”

“Girly, you were frozen in fear when I jumped in to save ya. If it weren’t for loverboy in here bein’ so worried, you’d have a knife in your gut.”

“If you weren’t such a butting in jerk, Greed, and let me finish explaining, no I wouldn’t have had a knife in my gut.” Still standing from a moment ago, you placed your leg up onto the stool you had been using earlier, reaching down and pulling up the leg of your pants. Instead of bare skin, a shining metal limb, the chassis styled like a classical lean suit of armor. It was polished to a near mirror sheen and made no inkling of a mechanical sound when moved.

Greed’s head tilted back slightly in surprise, “You have..? That still wouldnta saved your guts from that bla-”

Not letting him finish, you pulled up the bottom of your tanktop slightly, the same chrome metal extending halfway up your midsection. “You were saying?”

Greed’s look literally faded away, slinking back inside as Ling took over as the dominant personality. His was was a mix of shock and sadness, “I’m… I’m so sorry for Greed’s… and MY rudeness… I didn’t know..” He was stuttering all over his words, clearly ashamed for his and his partner’s ignorance. His face clearly was asking the question, “How?” but was trying not to vocalize it.

“I was in an accident in Rush Valley seven years ago during the middle of what I guess what the military coup. An avalanche, triggered by an explosion, sent rocks hurtling down onto the road and I was trapped underneath. My parents were killed and there was no one around, I was only alive because of the rocks. My vision started to fade, and I thought I was going to die, but when I woke up I was in a bed surrounded by people. Apparently, a young woman, an apprentice of a man named Garfiel found me and with the help of all the automail mechanics and doctors in town they saved me. I never found out the girl’s name, she didn’t want the attention, but apparently it was her who made everyone work together to save me. It’s the whole reason I became a mechanic.” You finished, looking down at the ground almost embarrassed. This was the first time you had really talked about your story with anyone other than Garfiel or his friend Dominic and your heart was pounding deep inside your chest but felt completely exposed at the same time.

Ling’s face froze, memories from his first visit to Rush Valley, and the fight with the brothers, rushed past his eyes. He wondered if it was his actions that caused what happened to this girl. He felt like he had to speak up, but the other voice inside him spoke first, but this time only to Ling. You cannot let her know you were there. If she runs, she’s dead, and they will be right on our trail. I know you want to do this Ling, but please for once take after me and just be a little selfish. Swallowing his spit and his pride, Ling nodded and simply gave a small smile, “That sounds just like that girl. The people of Rush Valley are good people, maybe someday I’ll tell you about her, but right now I can’t, we really don’t have that luxury.” His face was solemn, “You’re caught up in this now, and I’m afraid to tell you there’s no backing out, these people will do anything to get this stone back, and I’ll do anything to keep it.”

“But why exactly do you need it? I thought you got the secret to immortality when you where combined with Greed?”

“I thought so too, and right after everything ended I made my way back to Xing, and back to my father, but what I arrived with wasn’t good enough. I can’t use Greed to give eternal life without using all of his stone and killing myself in the process, something I couldn’t even mention to the Emperor.” Greed butted in, “Plus there’s the whole ‘can’t ascend the throne if he doesn’t die’ issue. There’s no position more befitting of one such as myself than Emperor and I’m not lettin’ that slip by. We needed another plan, and that’s where this little guy comes in. I say it’d last a decade, maybe two tops before runnin’ out. Not really eternal but he won’t know that. Then once the old guy kicks it, me an’ the kid ascend to the throne and live like literal kings.” A smug grin spread across his face as he leaned back and crossed his arms before Ling came back in. “But right now, we need to do something about our current situation. It’s not going to be safe to stay here for long, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to close shop for a while.”

You hadn’t even thought about that; leaving the shop was a difficult pill to swallow, Garfiel had helped you earn the money needed to open it up and leaving it behind felt like leaving behind the only gift from a form of family that you still had. But Ling was right, if you just stayed here you would be sitting ducks. “I understand, when do we need to leave?”

“Three days time, I think that’s the most we have before they try anything again. In that time don’t go any further than the outer edges of the market, you can’t risk getting isolated again. There’s going to be more fighting too, are you okay with that?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I figured as much. I think three days should be plenty of time to make a few modifications to myself for travel, and if I have time maybe something a little practical as well.” A devious look came across your eyes, an idea and an urge you’ve had for years but never acted on now finally had a reason to be done. “I think I’ll be able to help out plenty in a fight.”

You couldn’t tell if the grin on the man across from you’s face was Ling’s or Greed’s, but it was filled with a sick glee you only saw when someone was on your exact unspoken wavelength when coming up with a plan. “Perfect, we’ll be back in three days while we get some stuff ready. Stay safe.” He reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder before heading over to the door and stepping out into the night.

[recentanimenews]

Re: ZERO ~Starting Life in Another World~, Vol. 15

By Tappei Nagatsuki and Shinichirou Otsuka. Released in Japan by MF Bunko J. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jeremiah Borque.

This book slid in RIGHT under the wire in avoiding spoiling English-speaking fans. The book came out literally the day before the episode aired which animated the first part of it. It also brings to an end the 4th arc in this series, in a mostly satisfying way. Some of the beats feel very obvious, but as always with Re: Zero, they feel that way because we’ve spent so long setting up those beats with the previous go-rounds. This series also does a very good job of keeping all the fights it has to have here interesting, either through breaking them up by moving from the Sanctuary and Emilia’s trials to the mansion and Subaru’s pleading and back again, but also because, much like Banner of the Stars, this series runs on banter and there is a lot of that. Still, by the end of the book our heroes have won the day, though… not without some cost with a last minute bitter sting in its tail. And we’re ready to move on to a new arc!

Beako is on the cover, and deservedly so. Garfiel, Emilia and Ram/Roswaal’s stories also come to a conclusion here, but there’s no real surprises in any of them on an emotional level. Emilia’s trials two and three feel almost anticlimactic – after failing so hard at the first trial over and over, she sails through them. But that’s to be expected, as she has moved past the trauma that held her back. Garfield too had most of his issues resolved in earlier books, allowing him to be the muscle that’s required in order to beat the immortal nightmare that is Elsa (who gets a shred of backstory here, but honestly I think works best as simply a grotesque impossible to stop enemy). But Beatrice’s story is the one that needs Subaru, and, true to form, he fails over and over again to convince her to leave the Library of Forbidden Books and come with him. Not even the entire mansion burning down can sway her.

The high point of the book, as I just said, is Subaru and Beatrice, and I loved every scene with both of them in it. The rest of the book does not QUITE reach those heights. Emilia, in particular, suffers from the author wanting her to grow up and move past her trauma but also being an innocent boke who knows nothing about anything. Sometimes this is hilarious – her comment on “Ryuzu’s mother” may be one of the best jokes in the series – but announcing she’s pregnant because she and Subaru kissed fell a bit flat to me. (Presumably he explains later – or more likely Ram does). Oh yes, and there’s another character who I thought was gone for good who shows up again to help kick Roswaal’s ass, which was great. Actually, there’s a scene which mentions that the entire cast take turns punching Roswaal at some point, and I deeply hope this gets like an entire episode devoted to it in the anime.

Where will this go next? There’s apparently the series’ first time skip coming up, and presumably we’ll see more of Anastasia, Priscilla and Felt. Till then, though, please enjoy Garfiel punching forever, Subaru and Otto being bros, and Emilia being even more earnest than Rem, if that’s even possible. (Technically Rem is in this book a lot, but sorry, she still does not wake up.)

By: Sean Gaffney

[libraryscarf]

happy, happy, happiest of birthdays to my beautiful wife @themusicalbookworm. I wrote you a fic about Riza literally just having a nice time and enjoying herself at the Rockbell-Elric wedding. I hope you like it. <3 <3 <3

charming, in its own way ( ao3 / ff.net )

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Roy Mustang muttered, rather louder than was necessary. “Fullmetal made it through without imploding.”

In front of their gathered friends, neighbors, what seemed to be half the Amestrian military and more than a few rowdy chimeras, Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell shared their first kiss as husband and wife.

“Sir,” Riza said, sighing gently. “Please don’t ruin this for him.”

The ceremony was short, and quickly followed by the sound of multiple champagne bottles being popped open, and the tuning of an unorthodox quartet. Breda carefully assembled a gleaming flute, while Fuery hauled a tuba out of a case twice his size. Sig Curtis tightened the strings of an upright bass, and Garfiel, still sniffling wetly from the emotional turbulence of the ceremony, tested the keys of his accordion. As they began to play, Ed and Winry swept onto the swath of shorn grass that served as a dance floor, and were met with riotous applause

“Don’t trip, Fullmetal!” Roy crowed. Riza put her heel heavily on his instep, and he yelped.

Ed did not trip. In fact, it quickly became obvious that he was unable to hear or see anything else. His eyes never strayed from Winry’s soft, rosy smile.

“Some bubbly, Riz?” Rebecca Catalina asked, appeared at Riza’s side holding two champagne flutes.

“Please,” Riza said gratefully, taking the glass her friend held out to her.

“What, none for me?” Roy asked in a hurt tone.

“Nope!” Rebecca laughed buoyantly, sashaying into the crowd and appearing on the dance floor moments later with Zampano, who looked like he wasn’t quite sure how he had ended up there.

Riza looked at the dancers, her eyes smiling as she found Alphonse and Winry, who laughed as they waltzed, while Ed twirled Pinako around the dance floor like she weighed no more than a broomstick.

Roy turned to her and chivalrously offered his arm.

“Care to dance, Hawkeye?”

A sword materialized between them, smacking Roy’s hand with the flat and sending him stumbling backward.

“H-hey! Olivier—!”

“That’s General Armstrong to you, buffoon.”

The general sheathed her sword, and greeted Riza with a terse nod. “It’s always a pleasure to see you, captain.”

Riza gathered herself quickly enough to return the nod. “Likewise, general.”

Roy slunk around behind Riza, shielding half his body as Olivier Armstrong measured him up and down with eyes as cold as ice chips.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, forsaking any semblance of gallantry.

Armstrong looked at him down her nose.

“I consider the Elric brothers to be the sons I never had,” she said, inscrutably. Riza couldn’t tell if she was serious.

“Oh,” said Roy, at a loss for words.

“Shouldn’t you stop sniveling behind your subordinate and ask me to dance?” Armstrong asked. Riza could only give him a sympathetic half-smile as Roy offered the general his hand and escorted her to the dance floor—looking rather more like he was being led to the firing squad.

Riza finished her champagne, and snagged another glass from the trays traveling among the guests. She skirted the dance floor, avoiding interested eyes as she searched for an empty seat at one of the round, white-draped tables.

“Over here!” someone called to her, and Riza turned to see Alphonse waving at her from a nearby table. She smiled warmly at him as she took the seat he offered.

“This is such a beautiful wedding,” she said with sincerity. White and gold paper lanterns bloomed from wires strung between the trees, bathing the grassy reception in a fairyland glow. After the first few dances, the quartet had disbanded. They were replaced by a gramophone that wafted a soft, yearning melody over the crowd.

“Thank you,” Al said. The tips of his ears turned pink. “I did most of it. They needed someone tall.”

“Well, you have a wonderful eye for decoration.”

The pink spread from Al’s ears to his cheeks. “Actually, all of that was Winry. And Granny. And May. And Paninya.” He sighed. “Actually…everyone else except me.”

Riza chuckled generously.

“Still, they needed someone tall, didn’t they?”

She held up her glass. Al, after hesitating for a moment, grinned and clinked his against it.

“Yes, they did.”

The evening got cooler, and above the music of the gramophone, crickets began to sing. As the champagne flowed, along with other, stronger spirits, the party grew louder. Riza was on her third flute, and beginning to feel quite floaty in the head.

Roy stumbled off the dance floor and collapsed in the chair next to her, which had been left abandoned by Al once May pulled him aside for some “advice about the snack table,” and had never returned.

“It’s a war zone out there,” he wheezed, and slumped against her shoulder. “Comfort me, captain.”

Riza patted him professionally on the back. “There, there, sir.”

“I had to dance twice with Olivier—she led, by the way—and then I ended up having to congratulate Fullmetal for fifteen minutes, and of course to be polite I danced with his wife (lovely young lady, far too pretty for him)—and, Hawkeye, he glared at me the entire time, you’d think I had some sort of reputation—and then Breda spilled sauce down his shirt so I helped him clean it up, and then I looked for you, but ended up talking to Fullmetal again—did you know he’s been compiling some ancient Aerugan and Cretan alchemical records? Turns out their name for human transmutation was something like: ‘really bad idea,’ or maybe, ‘if you enjoy having limbs, don’t do this’—the old translation was kind of tough to parse…”

Riza tuned him out as he waxed on about alchemy for a bit longer. The champagne was making her chest feel very light.

“…And then I finally found you again, all the way here in the back by yourself,” he finished at last. He removed his weight from her shoulder, and Riza found herself missing it.

“I wasn’t alone the whole time,” she said honestly.

“Have you danced with anyone yet?” Roy asked.

“No,” she said.

“Good.”

His eyes found hers.

“I wanted to be your first dance tonight,” he said in a completely different tone: low and secretive.

Riza hoped it was merely the alcohol in her blood making it sing. Before she could respond, Rebecca collapsed without preamble into the chair on her other side, kicking her shoes onto the grass and rolling her ankles rapturously.

“What are the chances I could get either of you to massage my feet?” she groaned.

“Bad,” said Riza.

“I’ll do it,” offered Roy.

“No you won’t,” said Havoc, appearing on Rebecca’s other side. He handed her a glass of water, then sat down to pull her feet into his lap.

“You are the perfect man,” she sighed.

Riza stood up, stretching her spine.

“I’ll leave you two to…whatever this is.” She waved at Havoc and Rebecca. “I think it’s time I said hello to Edward and Winry.”

“I’ll come with you,” Roy said, standing quickly. They made it approximately fifteen steps before Gracia Hughes caught sight of them, tugging a drowsy Elicia in her wake as she came to say hello. Riza, after hugging both of them, excused herself.

Roy raised his eyebrows at her. Running off again?

She shook her head slightly, tilting her chin toward a flash of white in the crowd. Later.

He smiled in understanding, and carried on his conversation with Gracia while Riza worked her way over to Ed and Winry.

“Hawkeye!” said the groom joyfully as she approached. Then, catching himself, “I mean, uh. Captain!”

“Hawkeye is fine, Ed,” she said, laughing a bit as she hugged him. “You might even consider calling me Riza these days.”

Ed shivered at the thought.

“Nope. I’ll stick with Hawkeye. You still scare me.”

“Ed—!” rebuked Winry half-heartedly, and Riza turned to her. She could only assume the girl hadn’t been getting much sleep the past several days, but you would never know it from her appearance. When Winry’s face broke into a huge smile, Riza suddenly understood why Ed had been unable to look anywhere else.

“I’m so happy you could come, Miss Riza,” she said, her eyes shining.

Riza gave the bride a long, tight hug, and for the first time since the wedding had started, tears stung the back of her throat and the corners of her eyes. After letting go of Winry, she looked between the two of them, at their young faces lit from within with impossible delight.

“You both have my deepest congratulations,” she said with utmost sincerity. “I don’t think either of you could have chosen better.”

Ed blushed, and stammered out a thanks. Winry gazed at him fondly, and his stammering got worse.

“Articulate as always, Fullmetal,” said a deep voice from behind her, as Roy came up to her side.

“Shut up,” Ed muttered.

“Good evening, captain,” Roy said. His voice was close to her ear, making her heart slam against her ribcage.

“Good evening, sir,” she said calmly.

“Is your next dance spoken for?” he asked, offering her his arm.

“Actually—” Ed began to extend his hand, but his new wife elbowed him hard, and he swallowed the words. A secret, scheming smile was playing around the corners of Winry Rockbell-Elric’s mouth, and Ed knew better than to get in the way when she wore that look.

“It is not,” said Riza, truthfully.

“Then, shall we?”

They walked together to the dance floor, which was far more empty at this point in the night. Only four or five other couples still swayed to the music of the gramophone. Roy put one arm around her waist, tugging her close as his other hand took hold of hers.

Their dance was silent for a few minutes: a wordless communication of step and rhythm. Riza could feel that her cheeks were flushed from the champagne.

“It’s been a little while since we danced,” Roy said. The hand on her waist tightened as they did a half-spin.

“A few years,” she confirmed. Her hand crept slowly, slowly, from his shoulder to the back of his neck.

“We should make an effort to do it more often,” he said. “I think you might be rusty.”

“That’s entirely possible, sir.”

They circled and dipped, mirroring each other seamlessly. A few of the other dancers stepped off the dance floor, and the lights seemed to dim. The music from the gramophone changed, loosened from a waltz into something freer, sweeter.

Roy dropped her hand, and for a moment she thought the dance was ending. But rather than letting her go, he put both hands on her hips, sliding them up to her waist as he pulled her closer. Riza’s nose touched his shoulder, brushing the rough fabric of his dress uniform. After taking a moment to steady her breath, she wound both arms around his neck.

“You know,” he said. His breath was warm on her ear, and goosebumps prickled along her neck. “This whole ‘wedding’ thing is charming, in its own way.”

Riza shut her eyes. “I agree. Very charming.”

They swayed.

“I’d like to try it myself, if the time is ever right,” he said. His voice cracked, ruining the nonchalance of his words. “What do you think, Hawkeye? Is it a good idea?”

“A lot of people seem to think so,” she said, trying to ignore how she could feel his heartbeat against hers.

Roy chuckled. His arms around her were very, very warm.

“Someday, perhaps,” he murmured into her hair.

She rested her forehead against his shoulder. The music was soft, dying.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Maybe someday.”

[suffarustuffaru]

Opinion on Reinhard's dad possibly seeing "the son he never had" on Garfiel? It could totally take that route tbh

It would be a fun dynamic imo

oh anon as a heinkel fan (hes soo terrible but so fascinating and i WANT to see him get better and grow as a person. but also you may have known that since you are asking me this hah) and someone who is quite fond of garf i lovedddd the recent heinkel-garfiel chapters... and LMAO this idea of like. heinkel being a bit soft on garfiel bc yay!! new son replacement!!! is SO FUNNY ive thought about it a little bit. and IT WOULD BE FUN and i think heinkels arc is super interesting bc he kinda hit his rock bottom in like about arc 7-early arc 8 where its like. its post arc 5 astrea drama so shit just got even more bleak for heinkel, hes stuck in dangerous territory and he doesnt believe in himself At All and hes too depressed to really try all that much at anything.

but then GARFIEL comes along and saves heinkel a couple times and garfiel gets hit down but keeps getting right tf up - and that goes against like literally everything heinkel thinks. he doesnt try to be better bc he doesnt think he can ever accomplish it no matter how hard he tries, but garfiel is someone who just WONT stop trying.

and we also see that heinkel learning more about rowan and cecilus and the whole deal with the segmunts has made heinkel go "oh. okay haha maybe im not as far gone as i thought" bc heinkel gets shown another example of a dysfunctional family with an extremely op son and a deadbeat alcoholic dad and theyre a mirror of reinhard and heinkel. except rowan and cecilus are like if reinhard and heinkel werent so miserable about their shit relationship, bc as shitty as heinkels behavior is deep down he still CARES. he cares a lot about his family. he misses reinhard - why else would he need schult to be a replacement? he's still mourning that loss, if you think about it. but rowan is just so batshit that heinkel immediately goes backtracking like "OKAY IM. IM NOT THAT BAD. MAYBE THERES A TINY LITTLE SPECK OF HOPE FOR ME AFTER ALL."

and garfiel is helping to be a catalyst as well bc of his own determination to always keep growing and keep fighting no matter what gets in his way. hes a spunky little kid whos powerful but when faced with opponents stronger than him Refuses To Give Up. thats inspirational i think for heinkel, especially when its not as if hes a shit fighter, dude is just outshadowed by his family and other people around him. he just has to get up and keep trying, so its interesting that heinkel DOES find the courage to try and protect garfiel while garfiel's trying not to die.

like i do think that its heinkel like having this grudging respect for garfiel after the interactions theyve had, also possibly feeling inspired by garfiel and having that tiny bit of hope in him after meeting rowan and interacting with garfiel, and also trying to repay garfiel. bc heinkel treats himself like dirt and gets treated like dirt a lot - im sure his thought process might be "this kid took the time to keep saving me even though im literally worthless and now hes in danger, this is the least i can do". i would be interested if it went the route of like. heinkel having that fatherly instinct rekindled - i think itd be interesting for garfiel as well bc. he IS lacking a father figure, but for heinkel, i think that its clear with how he acts with schult that heinkel does kind of miss having a son and having that sort of love in his life.

we know he DID use to be a good dad, and tbh i always kind of headcanoned that heinkel probably isnt that mean with most kids unless its someone like. you know. subaru. or julius. or reinhard of course. like heinkels not that much of an ass when his life is on the line or when there isnt super personal stakes involved (ie astrea stuff). hes a character that carries a lot of guilt and shame and self-hatred, someone who's spiraled into being the worst version of himself when he used to be bright-eyed and hardworking and full of love despite the weight on his shoulders - i think he would see a very kind and determined and spirited kid like garfiel (and might be reminded of the kid he Used to love) and hope that garfiel doesnt end up like him (ie lost, burnt out, and depressed). we see this sort of behavior a bit with schult too, bc heinkel tries to give schult advice and tries to look after schult a bit in general!! and garfiel's like a better version of heinkel you know? garfiel's a bit abrasive with a quick temper and all but hes extremely well intentioned in just about everything he does. and i think heinkel might have a fondness for all of garfiel's antics at this point T^T

but yes ty for the ask anon !! :o im very interested to see where heinkel and garfiel go from here, bc it looks like heinkel's started some baby steps in his growth!!

[suffarustuffaru]

this may be my like third ottosuba post in a row but like hear me out okay like theres something about how varied their dynamics are in each if. like its about the inherent tragedy of it all - the "you ruined my life" and "you betrayed me" and "you've hurt everyone around us and theres nothing i can do, so goodbye forever" and "i hope you rot". its the forced subservience that pride otto and wrath otto have to have, except wrath otto breaks free of it and indulges in just stabbing subaru, knowing subaru's going to die anyway. pride otto serves subaru, knowing he's marching towards his grave, knowing he's aiding subaru in all his crimes, knowing he doesn't have the energy to care anymore. greed otto has watched subaru manipulate everyone around them and he's had enough - they were almost friends, and otto WANTED to be friends, wanted to BELIEVE they were friends, but it was never the case. and so he leaves behind the first person he ever considered a friend, along with the camp he could've befriended too. and then theres gluttony otto - an otto whos become friends with subaru, an otto that has subaru as his closest friend, an otto whos found community in the emilia camp and has garfiel as his younger brother and cares about all these people so much. and then subaru destroys all of them, and it's just otto and garfiel left until subaru destroys garfiel too along with ottos younger brother regin, meaning subaru killed two of ottos brothers in one fell swoop. subarus this twisted version of himself now, claiming that he destroyed priestella and so much of the people within it so he could get to OTTO. it's like rubbing salt in the wound - in some fucked up way, otto is now the biggest priority in subarus life. like most people in the if routes, otto gets crushed just like any other victim of subarus plans and decisions, but in gluttony if he still decides to keep his bravado and anger and his last words are LITERALLY "eat shit, you phony". he damn well knows theres no hope for him and he still decides to go out fighting. ottosuba in each if really is just. theres a violence to it - and not just literal violence, i mean as in gluttony if subaru considers otto a threat, and otto is also someone who has a lot of memories specific to him about subaru. pride subaru is basically otto's second "master". otto steals power away from wrath subaru by helping in taking him down. otto completely disregards greed subaru and avoids the same fate as the rest of emilia camp by REJECTING subaru when the whole point was subaru being GREEDY. subaru couldnt keep otto with him, while otto managed to break free of subaru.

it's about the power dynamics of it all - especially when BOTH of them are capable of the same manipulation and mind games.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Re:Zero S2, Episodes 24-25

In which Subaru saves the day by letting everyone else save it for him, and the painful past finally gives way to a hopeful future.

Save Me

You know, it’s funny. When you strip away all the insane magical mechanics and complex fantasy intrigue, the thematic core of Re:Zero season 2 is deceptively simple; we’re all held back by the sorrows of our past, and it’s only by coming together that we can overcome those sorrows and move forward as one. It’s so basic and straightforward you’d never think it could pack as much power as it does. And yet, when it’s done right- and Re:Zero certainly does it right- it serves as the foundation for some of the most powerful stories in existence. My favorite anime of all time, Gintama, is proof enough of that. I could point to any number of scenes across this season that demonstrate how goddamn well Re:Zero tackles this theme. Subaru’s dream conversation with his parents. Emilia’s reckoning with her past. Garfiel accepting that his parents loved him. Everything about how Roswaal’s villainy stems from an inability to move on. But there’s one moment in this final set of episodes that might just top them all. Subaru stands before Beatrice, a girl imprisoned by 400 years of nihilism, believing she’s doomed to die alone without ever forging another true emotional connection again. Subaru’s already tried to wrest her free of that mindset countless times, and each time he’s fallen short. And with the mansion burning down around them, this is the last chance he’ll get. If he can’t free Beatrice from her sorrow now, they’re both going up in flames. This is, quite literally, do or die time.

And after all his failed attempts, all his words that have fallen short, Subaru finally figures out the one thing he can say to save Beatrice:

“Save me.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Never before have two words hit with enough raw emotion to make me break down sobbing all on their own. It’s perfect on a level I didn’t think was possible. Of course that would be the answer. Of course the only way Subaru could save such a lost soul is by swallowing his pride and asking her to save him in turn. Hasn’t his entire arc this season been about learning to let others share in his pain and help him carry his burdens? Hasn’t he repeatedly said that his greatest strength is the ability to trust in others to pick him up when he falls down? Beatrice is brave and strong, a spirit of immense power. She could live just fine on her own if she chose, and there’s little Subaru could offer her that she doesn’t have already. She’s so much greater than him from every conceivable angle, and any notions Subaru might have of “saving her” are just so on-their-face backwards it’s almost hilarious. Even he acknowledges that all the speeches he thought up to try and save her just sounded ridiculous. How can he promise to protect her when she’s more than capable of protecting herself? The only thing she lacks is the emotional support to find joy in the life she’s living, to embrace that strength and leave 400 years of loneliness behind. And that’s exactly what Subaru offers her. Not the strength to pull her out of misery, but the promise that he would weep if she died. The promise that her life matters enough to him for her survival to give him strength. In two simple words, Subaru summarizes the entirety of his best argument yet: your life matters to me. Your life is making the world a better place. So please, choose to save my life by living yourself.

Choose Me

And yes, their time together isn’t eternal. In less than a century, Subaru will live out his life and die, leaving Beatrice alone again. He’s a mere blip in the massive lifespan of a spirit, gone just as soon as he arrived. But he’ll make every second of their time together count. He’ll be there for her every second he can, asking her to be there for him just as often, demanding her attention so she’ll never feel alone again (One might even say he’s being very greedy about wanting her to share time with him, yes?) He’ll engrave their memories together in her heart so deeply, not even 400 years of isolation will be able to match it. No, he’s not the unknown stranger who was supposed to save her, but really, who could be? “That person” was only ever a phantom that might one day appear; it never really existed in the first place. Subaru can’t give Beatrice the answer to her centuries-long wait. He can’t give her an eternal salvation. But what’s the point in waiting for an uncertain enternity when you can choose a definite tomorrow instead? Why pin your hopes on a future that might never come when you can choose a life that’s sure to last, if not forever, at least for tomorrow and the days to come after? Why let fate and destiny keep you rooted in place when you can move forward by seizing fate with your own hands, however terrifying it may be? The answer Beatrice is waiting for may never come. But now there’s a different answer, reaching out for her with a hand burned from the effort of opening a scalding door because that’s how much Subaru wanted to reach her (Also, the fractures of reality forming like spiderwebs around him all throughout this talk... god, the imagery in this scene is incredible).

An answer that offers her a simple, incredible two-word solution: Choose me.

And she does.

And as they soar through the air like a shooting star... Beatrice finally calls Subaru by his name.

God. God, god, god. I thought I was crying before, that was nothing compared to how hard this hit me. Beatrice is free. She’s alive. She’s out in the world, out of her lonely library, out with the people who care about her and an endless sea of possibilities to explore. She’s ready, at long last, to leave the past behind and reach out toward the future. And most importantly, she’s ready to kick some fucking ass. Christ, the moment she stares out at the hordes of the Great Rabbit and remarks how fun a handicap this will be as she genuinely smiles for the first time in, like, forever? Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Against the full might of her new contract with Subaru, not even Daphne’s monsters stand a chance. Especially not with Emilia right by their side as well, their combined powers literally lifting the ground up like that one scene in Age of Ultron. And Subaru himself? With Beatrice watching his front and Emilia watching his back, he’s got nothing to fear. Subaru started this season trying to take on the world alone, shutting everyone out in fear that he wasn’t worthy of their love. Now, at its climax, he achieves victory by asking someone to save him and trusting in the strength of his friends to save the day while he does what he does best: act as bait for an enemy far more powerful than he’ll likely ever be. Strength not from OP superpowers, but from accepting his incredibly stifling limits and trusting the actually superpowered girls around him to defeat the evil with their own hands. I can’t think of anything more quintessentially Re:Zero than that.

A Bright Future

And with the Great Rabbit banished to an extradimensional space never to return, the battle is finally over. The Sanctuary is open, the barrier is down, and everyone is free to return to the world at large. Roswaal is defeated, and thanks to the conditions of his oath with Subaru, he’s no longer able to pose any danger to them. Though I appreciate how he isn’t just forgiven out of hand; they may need his support for the royal selection, but he still did a lot of bad shit, and it makes sense how many of Subaru’s friends would only begrudgingly let him off the hook. After absolutely clobbering the shit out of him, of course, because hoooooooly shit did he deserve that (Also, good lord, that was hilarious). Regardless, Ros can keep searching for his lost love all he wants; everyone else, including his former fellow pupil Beatrice, is already moving forward without him. Not even Emilia’s intimidated by him anymore; she’s stronger now than he’ll ever be, strong enough to stare him in the face and make him apologize for being naughty like she’s a schoolteacher and he’s a misbehaving second grader. She might still be a helplessly corny dweeb (Upon meeting the infinite Ryuzu clones: ”That must have been really tough on your mother!”), but she’s no longer bound by the fear that once held her back. She’ll never give up, not on herself, not on the people around her, not on her dream to make the world a better place and save the people she lost so long ago.

And as for Subaru? He’s still got a lot of danger ahead of him. The more he fights to try and save everyone, the more invisible scars he’s sure to accumulate, scars he can never truly share with the people he loves. But that doesn’t matter. Not as long as he can still love them. Not as long as he can still be there for them. Not as long as they can still support each other through thick and thin, giving each other strength in their darkest moments. After all, he’s got a lot of people to look after. He’s formed a contract with Beatrice and now fights by her side. He still owes Petra a good time out about town. He still needs to make things up to Rem when she finally awakens from her slumber. He’s got Otto and Garfiel looking out for him. And, of course, he’s got Emilia, the girl he loves, the girl who he’s finally become worthy of standing beside with his head held high. He’s actually her knight now! He got the big ceremony and everything! But because they’re both such dorks, they can’t help but puncture the ceremony’s grandeur right after it’s done: ”This is nothing new, but you look really cute in that outfit.” “Idiot.” God, their relationship is so good now. Subaru’s grown into a genuinely supporting boyfriend who encourages her to keep expanding her circle of companionship, to find strength and support in as many avenues as she wants. The selfishness that once rules his image of her is really and truly dead. And Emilia’s ready to face those feelings head-on, to sort out how she wants them to be together no matter how many long nights it takes. They’ve still got lots of time ahead of them.

But for now? All they need is Subaru’s hilariously bad dancing causing Emilia to break out into the biggest, purest smile we’ve ever seen from her.

That alone makes the future look all the brighter.

Odds and Ends

-Alright, so the timeline was a little wobbly with all these moving parts. Got it.

-”But however far you go, you’re still a human. You’ll never beat that devil.” Yikes. Puck definitely knows about Roswaal’s relationship with Melancholy, whatever it may be.

-Hm... I wonder why Roswaal switched from “watashi” to “boku” when he falls apart and begs Echidna for help?

-”At the very least, I want you to grow up healthy.” Every time Echidna shows compassion, it scares me.

-”THAT’S MY GIRL, BEAKO!” oh. my. god.

-Aha, so Roswaal was soul-jumping between his descendants to stay alive all this time. Thought it was something like that.

-I love how we don’t see Echidna’s eyes in these flashbacks until the very end, when Beatrice is finally bidding her goodbye.

-”About the baby I’m carrying in my belly!” I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON

-”Screw you, Puck!” this is how I die farewell everyone

-I desperately hope Ram doesn’t end up with Roswaal when all is said and done. He’s basically groomed her and Rem since they were children, there is nothing good about their current relationship.

-”I’m only drunk on myself and the atmosphere right now.” “See? You are drunk.” pfft

-the lighting on their faces holy fuck

And that, folks, was Re:Zero season 2. Wow. Expect my closing thoughts later today, as well as what show will take its place!