#literally every time without fail

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

me when i make a romantic hha joytricia edit: 🌈🧚🏻‍♀️🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🥰

the comments: aww the best FRIENDS ever! such good FRIENDS! i HATE gay people

[gormezone]

My period loves to happen the exact day that I exit civil society and drive 100s of miles into the isolated wilderness

[despazito]

Sorry but this is deranged behaviour in pursuit of aesthetics. plenty of people have fought me on this on twitter but the British Veterinary Association, RSPCA, American Veterinary Medical Association, and Canadian Veterinary Medical Association are all on my side it really shouldn't be debatable in the 21st century 🤐

[sunlit-mess]

sick(?)

[wilderflcwers]

I am BEGGING people at this point to make even the smallest attempt to learn something about asexuality/aromanticism before logging onto the internet to make sweeping & misunderstood generalizations about us

[lightningtitties]

imogen did not waste a second im crying

[adobe-outdesign]

Nigel: The Muppets' Most Interesting Uninteresting Character

(This was supposed to be a fun little post about an obscure Muppet character but now I fell down a hole doing too much research and sunk cost fallacy won't let me live it down unless I include all of the useless information I've learned so enjoy knowing more about this character than you ever have or ever will want to know)

Nigel was created to be the host of the Muppet Show's Sex and Violence pilot instead of Kermit (who only appears in the pilot for like 30 seconds)

He was originally puppeteered by Jim Henson himself, giving him a vaguely Kermit-esq voice initially

Nigel Voice Count: 1

Nigel is a yellow... something. You’d assume he’s just a stylized human Muppet but in S4E18 Sam refers to him as a “thing”

He actually looks near-identical to a Fraggle minus the tail. I don’t know what to do with this information

Nigel was diagnosed with terminal Boring Personality disease due to the following attributes:

He’s very meek. Unlike Kermit, who will freak out and tell people they suck to their faces, Nigel raises his voice one (1) time and mostly relies on Sam the Eagle and Crazy Harry to deal with the assorted chaos

His face is flexible like Kermit’s, but he has permanently partially-lidded eyes that leave him looking exhausted in every scene he’s in

He’s generally unenthusiastic and seems like he wants to go home constantly

Jim Henson: The Works describes him as "lacking in spunk and charisma," which is hilariously cruel yet 100% accurate

What’s surprising at this point is that instead of scrapping him, he instead took on the role of orchestra conductor on the show proper, where he proceeds to do almost nothing for five seasons

The Muppets Character Encyclopedia actually provides a canon reason for this: Nigel lost the job of host due to his “shy manner”, and Kermit, feeling bad for replacing him, gave him his new job

He can technically be seen in basically every episode during the theme song, but aside from that, he often pops up in the chorus during songs

Which is funny when you consider he should be in the pit Doing His Job during those sequences

A quick list of his more important (if you can even call them that) appearances:

S1E2: He has Zoot play a song called “Sax and Violence” b/c pilot references

It’s actually implied the Mayhem falls under his jurisdiction as he threatens to fire Zoot, but this never comes up again

S1E24: Playing the part of a library patron noisily chewing gum (despite not having teeth. idk you figure it out). This one’s only notable because he’s wearing the same outfit from the pilot

S3E16: Nigel’s eyelids are not connected to the rest of his body and he’s facing backwards through the entire backstage segment so you’re uncomfortably aware of this

S1E23 has Floyd complaining that the theme song is cringe(TM), at which point it’s casually revealed that Nigel wrote it?? how is this character so important and unimportant at the exact same time

If you’ve seen this episode and aren’t deaf you might have noticed he has a completely different voice here. This is because John Lovelady has taken over as his puppeteer, presumably because Jim was busy Running The Entire Show

Nigel Voice Count: 2

Nigel has a talent for whistling, which is shown off in S2E18 during a performance with Floyd (this is the only time he comes on stage to perform that isn’t with a crowd)

He shows this off again in S4E18 to participate in the age-old sport of Annoying Sam the Eagle backstage

As of the 2011 movie Walter takes over as the show’s resident whistler because Nigel isn’t allowed to have character traits

He briefly shows up during the credits of The Muppet Movie (now puppeteered by Dave Goelz). Because of this, in the UK version of the end credits, he has another completely different voice

Nigel Voice Count: 3

After a brief background appearance in The Jim Henson Hour (S1E12), Nigel proceeded to completely disappear for 20 years

I’m guessing the reason was that his puppet was becoming unusable. The foam used for the muppets disintegrates over time, and his puppet was ~15 years old at this point

Things were particularly bleak for him in the 90s because Muppets Tonight came out with a new unrelated TV director character named... Nigel. Because Jim had passed away at this point and I think everyone working on the show literally Forgot they already had a character named that

Not that it would be that big of a problem, seeing as the chances of yellow Nigel returning were bleak. who was gonna spend time and money rebuilding an incredibly minor background character like him

TRICK QUESTION because he was rebuilt for The Muppets (2011), which is pretty amazing when you consider that he does Nothing during this movie

The new puppet looks pretty similar to the old one. I think the face is a bit rounder/more structured but I could also be losing my mind

(Side note: shoutout to whoever decided to give him a scarf in this scene. that’s such an unnecessary detail)

What’s great is that now that the puppet’s been rebuilt he’s shown up in a lot of stuff because they have no reason not to include him. Some of the more notable examples include:

The music video for OK Go’s cover of the theme song (which I certainly hope he would show up in I mean. it’s his song)

In the live shows (The Muppets Take the Bowl and The Muppets Take the O2) there’s a parade of overlooked characters, which includes Nigel. I just find it funny that:

A) The writers fully acknowledge that he’s King of the Background Characters

B) The in-universe implication that Kermit was like “no one knows who you are, wanna be in a parade celebrating that fact” and Nigel was like “okay”

His most recent appearance was in Muppets Haunted Mansion, where he’s dead (don’t worry about it). More importantly, he gets an entire shot to himself conducting some skulls, which I think is the first time the camera’s been focused solely on him in literally 40 years. Good job, buddy!

Here’s some other misc appearances that I couldn’t fit elsewhere:

He appears alongside Jim and a few other Muppets in a 1977 commercial for American Express (once again wearing his pilot outfit), which is particularly strange considering he’s the only character there that used to be puppeteered by Jim

In 2010 he got a somewhat important role in the first issue of Muppet Sherlock Holmes, playing the part of a butler suspected of poisoning the head of the house

He gets one whole page in The Muppets Character Encyclopedia from 2014 (right next to other Nigel). In addition to the aforementioned info bridging the gap between the pilot and the show proper, it also states that he’s susceptible to hypnosis and he trained at the Tommy Newsom Academy for Music and Charisma

In terms of future projects: there is both a Jim Henson biopic and documentary coming in the future (side note: why???), so it’s possible he might be discussed briefly in one of those

I have no thesis statement or reason for writing this, but I guess I’ll close out by saying that I find it fascinating that a failed main character from a pilot episode is still appearing in recent Muppet productions but solely as a background character. I hope that in 2073 I can put on some Muppet media and Nigel will still be there still doing absolutely nothing

thanks for coming to my TED talk

[iridiss]

hello it’s 3 in the morning as I type this but. one of the reasons why aphmau is meant to be the protagonist of MCD/Mystreet/so on and so forth is because literally none of this would happen without her. and that’s a core tenant of her character!! She finds people, she pulls them to her from wherever they are in the universe, they are naturally magnetized to her. She brings them into her life, again and again, and resolves their problems, again and again. She’s like the universe’s little handyman. She is a people magnet, on a cosmic level. She collects people. in a friendship way. And it doesn’t even matter how far away you are from her, she pulls people to her from far and wide, even across dimensions and universes!! Across continents and different towns !! She just… brings people to her! Universally! It’s a whole entire thing!

She discovers more and more new people, and every time she provides exactly the solution they needed to fix their problems. She fixes their problems. And that’s literally how the story of MCD and Mystreet even happens. The entirety of diaries wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for her, BECAUSE of her magnetism. Because of her active altruism.

She then provides a home for each of these people, resolving their issues and helping them out. She’s kind, she’s altruistic, she’s like…made to help people. Cosmically. she leaves the door open for anyone to come in and make themselves at home, she picks up strays everywhere she goes and gives them a better home. That’s literally how she becomes a mother, she collects children like stray cats because she never stops finding people and pulling them into the light. Pushing them to their fullest potential. Making them feel loved. She just has so much love to give that she pulls the whole entire world into her heart

And it even has in-universe reasoning to back it up, with her being the reincarnation of Irene!!! Because Irene literally did the same thing, that’s what an Irene is SUPPOSED to DO. She pulls the whole world to her doorstep and finds every single problem there is to fix and she fixes it! Because that’s her purpose! That’s her divine purpose! That’s her job! To help everyone! Her people magnetism is literally a crucial aspect of being an Irene !!

And I think MID’s Ava has it too, because of that. She’s likely the next reincarnation in line after the many Aphmaus, she’s the next Irene, so she inherited that crucial and fundamental part of being an Irene. Only difference is, Ava does not actually want this. She hates it, actually. She keeps magnetizing people to her, she magnetizes friends- she LITERALLY has a universal pull strong enough that beings from alternate dimensions or planets or whatever the fuck it was are sent to Earth and meet her. Billions of people on the planet, and the Daemos boys go to her. Of all people. Because they’re pulled into her, the same way Aphmau’s gang was. The same way Laurance and Katelyn and Dante and Travis and Aaron were. Ava has the same damn “ability,” but this time she’s spiteful about it because she just wants everyone to leave her alone and honey it is NOT working. The universe is so determined to give her a friend that it literally drops five dogs into her apartment and tells her to Fix. and she does not want to. but destiny calls, and she does it anyway, because she’s an Irene, and that’s what Irenes do. do you see my vision

[devils-reign]

BREAKING NEWS: matthew found dead at the sight of his youtube boyfriend in hd modelling for the smosh essentials !

[superbellsubways]

everyone watch The Prince of Egypt neow

[thegreatyin]

the adventures of the neath's most annoying definitely-totally-a-bat-and-not-the-scoundrel-in-a-robe continue (cards. their name is mr cards. or so they insist.)

this time: coworker antics. tune in next week on dragon ball Z where we'll be killing all of them with hammers

[stergeon]

at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.

but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.

of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.

and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.

point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.

... but can she?

edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.

so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?

being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.

but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?

what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?

after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?

gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.

[tangirlisfangirl]

CONFUCIUS MY FUCKING BELOVED

(now excuse me while i go feral in the tags)

[autisticlancemcclain]

can you explain to me the words used for time in voltron? i had a cheat sheet, so to speak, but i lost it, and now im left floundering. so i was wondering if you knew and could explain it to me?

like, ik a second is a tick. i think that a minute is a dobash, and a month is a pheob?

im not sure if im even spelling those make-believe words right either.

i can never remember lmfao i google it every single time and every single time i am grateful for this image

[boneskullravenriver]

I'm gonna say it.

Cishet guys that always always always mention how they kill astarion the second they meet him are queerphobic. :)

Why do you gotta mention "oh I killed him the first time he opened his mouth" on positive astarion posts, huh?? Quickly.

[thehealingsystem]

being biracial between white and poc will always be so alienating for me I don't relate to anyone. I don't quite fit in with whites but I don't quite fit in with people of color. been more white passing than the rest of my family doesn't help