#literally doesnt exist
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Consistency
Consistency, Consistency
Why are you such a mystery
Why do you wander back and forth
From east to west, from south to north
Inconsistency, I cry to thee
Please let me and my dreams be
I try so often, each time again
But the ending is never known to men
Stabilty is what I carve
To shape my life and what I love
Tell me, gods of earth and blood,
Is what Im doing any good?
I try to focus on the goal,
But the mist ahead blurrs the treacherous hole
Im scared to fall, so, ever more
Ill rather turn than to explore
Guided by safe will-o'-the-wisps
I'll walk a new path through the mist
Ever wondering to myself:
How do I find myself?
#poetry#what is consistency#literally doesnt exist#i also dont have any self discipline#that doesnt help#just a fun little poem i wrote in like 15 minutes because#im struggling#still wondering if I should blame the divorce of my parents or if theres something else going on#you know like adhd#i dont think I have adhd#but sometimes I wonder#anyway enjoy that or not#i dont care really#would be nice tho I think#leyspoetry
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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fellas is it terrorism to be queer
#sunny talks#they literally outlaw an organization that DOESNT EXIST#bitches be waging wars and forbidding gays before they do anything useful#lgbtqia
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FUSION FIGHT FUSION FIGHT! <- <-
@dianagj-art The fusions are fighting!!! Because hey funny story, their first meeting does not go to well 😌It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly spar.. more details in my tags vvv
#rottmnt#2 arms left#the besties#freshavocado#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#leonardo hamato#If you want more lore/story that might not make it to comic form:#poptart and sprout finally got to see one-one in the flesh#one-one is horrifying as hell#poptart immediately gets scared#doesnt say anything then backs up into sprout#toast forms out of protection#but TOAST is like!!!! 'yooo!!!! another leo/leo fusion pal best day ever!#maybe I can get on this guys good side!'#and offers for them to spar together since one-one literally exists to fight#and the sparring turns really bad really fast.....#toast gets hurt#eventually calls it quits#one-one unfuses after the oneion half realizes what they did#toast then unfuses revealing a super beat up poptart and sprout aha.....#anyways enjoy
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trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband
(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)
he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy
soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's
he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him
he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it
soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan
he takes his baby and runs
he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives
he doesn't know where he's going beyond away
he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him
soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once
he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy
he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself
even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-
soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries
he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-
he can't save him
a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands
but it's not his husband outside the window
soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window
soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding
the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks
"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him
he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."
soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard
the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"
soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips
"not long enough."
the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway
"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”
soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby
“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."
soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers
he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"
soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope
"i think we can work something out."
🧼💀
ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it
he knows someone running when he sees it
if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen
but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no
he covered his baby
like he was afraid he'd be hurt
that's enough for ghost
🧼💀
i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted
he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it
he never had a chance of getting away
but ghost is ex-military
he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know
he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station
#what up i had a nightmare about an eldritch horror trying to steal my baby and john mcclane from die hard shooting it to protect me#i woke up freaked out and decided to torment soap with it to feel better#thats literally the only reason this exists#that and the thought of soaps super hairy chest but thats besides the point#anyway#i was going to have ghost be a drifter after retiring but i like the idea of him being the unlikely safe person living out in the woods#ghost moves soap into the little one bedroom cabin he built behind the station#its hidden by the trees and kept warm by a fire. he gives soap and the baby the bedroom and sleeps out in the living room#he keeps watch out the window for whoevers after soap#he doesnt find out who it is for a while; soaps been burned and reluctant to trust anyone#but they gradually heal each other; ghost gives soap someone to trust and soap helps ghost heal his truma by giving him someone he can save#soap starts to work in the service station despite ghost telling him he doesnt need to but he wants his independence back#he finds he likes working and ghost cant take that from him when hes so obviously happy cleaning and shelving stock#soaps husband comes looking for him but ghost still has his contacts and calls a whole militia down on his head#each one of them with favours in the government if not outright political immunity; money means nothing in the face of them#they just threaten him; lets him know soap is protected now#at least; thats what ghost tells soap 😉#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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edit 2: leak is FAKE everyone, go home
so of course i'm keeping up with the pokemon leaks and
I KNEW IT
I FUCKING KNEW IT
I SAID THE KANTO FAVORITISM STARTED BECAUSE OF BW'S BACKLASH AND WAS GOING TO MAJORLY STAGNANTETHE SERIES FOR YEARS AND NOBODY BELIEVED ME
update 113 notes later: might be fake, idk
#doesnt sit right if i don't edit this with the updated info#press t to throw tomatoes at everyone who praises kanto pandering or says it doesn't exist#i am NOT over people forgiving gigantoobie charizard just because 'he looks cool'#NO YOURE SUPPORTING THE DEATH OF THIS SERIES#i am also never forgiving people who hated bw and then turned around when people started saying they were really good#i know who you are. i argued with your type ever since i was a child.#literally every major flaw in this series comes back to fan pandering even the rushed games too#games are just spinning their wheels and not doing anything new?? the one time they did they got MAJOR backlash of course nothing's changin#not a lot of new pokemon in new gens?? what gen had the biggest amount of new pokemon.#remember how people complained usum wasnt on the switch when the switch had like 2 nintendo games on it and we got lets go and then swsh???#pepperidge farm remembers#i'm a very bitter pokemon fan lol
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Anatomy study ft.Law that got out of hand
#literally this man is so slutty so whenever im doing studies im like#what if i add laws tattoos#im down bad for a dude that doesnt exist#my art#fanart#art#one piece fanart#one piece#one piece law#one piece trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law
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the patrician is just a guy to me
#havelock vetinari#discworld#doodles#before you ask why just know this#i actively avoid looking at any discworld art book covers included#i specifically buy those hardcovers with graphic design on the front#so any kind of a visual context doesnt exist for me except what my brain sees when im with the guy in the room as i read#so anyway Lord Vetinari is like an old suit and tie guy to me#he is proper arguably a minimalist calm collected and always two steps ahead#he is pushing 50#doesnt even have to be fifty but I know this in my soul: to be like him you have to have seen life for many decades#his monologue at the end of GG is driving me craaayyyyzayyy#a man that wakes up and does a thing not for fulfilment but because. because its like one of the world truths or some shit#part of me would love to put him in a fancier suit but in men at arms he literally sits on a wooden chair next to the throne#hello?#in his little (huge) garden with his little (huge) stacks of paperwork#and he has a shitty terrier#what a guy#this granpapi is my chewtoy
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Penelope and Callisto's relationship drama is so fucking funny no matter how many times I reread the story. It literally goes like
Callisto: I WANT TO MARRY YOU
Penelope: I WANT TO BE LOVED
Callisto: LOVE DOESN'T EXIST, MY TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES MAKE ME BELIEVE SO
Penelope: THEN WHY DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME ASSHOLE
Callisto: YOU ARE THE SMARTEST FUNNIEST LOVELIEST PERSON ALIVE AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU???
Penelope: BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND I LOVE YOU SO I WILL NEVER MARRY YOU
Callisto: GIRL FUCK YOU
Penelope: FUCK YOU TOO ASSHOLE
Callisto: WHATEVER. I WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK TO BEG AGAIN
Penelope: I WILL LITERALLY BE DEAD BY NEXT WEEK BUT OK
#LIKE WHYYY#Callisto literally defining love and then saying love doesnt exist#Vs penelope wanting to nothing with him bc she is in love with him#Craziest couple of the century#Death is the only ending for the villainess#Penelope eckart#Callisto regulus#Things i'm reading
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so very glad to see the terf/radfem "trans men are just transitioning to escape misogyny" idea has apparently migrated over to other trans people
#are we seriously doing this in the year of our lord 2024?#transandrophobia#transphobia#i literally never wanna hear shit ever again about how transandrophobia doesnt exist when this shit is on the FRONT PAGE of tags#i didnt even have to go searching for this#i went to a trans tag#i sorted by most recent#this was just casually sitting there
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The one piece reread only makes the hardest moments hit even harder,,,, even when you’re rereading it poorly in portugese
Or AKA, i found out today that HINATA SHOYO reads one piece and I haven’t recovered since
#one piece#haikyuu#hinata shoyo#roronoa zoro#(kinda)#omfg okay time for my entirely SEPERATE POST IN THE TAGS#i only got into one piece at the end of last year... but ive been in the anime and manga scene for like. my entire life#i cannot understate how WILD it is that I havent noticed how everywhere one piece is....#like once i read it... i started finding it EVERYWHERE#my sister gifted me an issue of shonen jump ages ago cause i liked act age and kimetsu no yaiba chainsaw man promised neverland etc#and it doesnt have like a one piece chapter in it actually (to my disappointment)#but IT DOES HAVE A LIL ADVERTISING SEGMENT AT THE FRONT TALKING ABOUT OKIKU FIGURINES AND OTHER ONE PIECE CRAP#AND IDK IT LITERALLY JUST BLEW MY MIND#ONE PIECE DIDNT EXIST IN MY LIFE BUT.... IT DID????#I HAD ONE PIECE MERCH BEFORE I EVEN BECAME OBSESSED WITH IT??? (hahah if you can consider a tiny segment mentioning okiku op merch XD)#just imagine suddenly being obsessed with a piece of media. and then you look around ur room and U SUDDENLY RECOGNISE A CHARACTER MERCH???#ITS BEEN IN UR ROOM FOR YEARS BUT YOUVE NEVER REALLY EVEN NOTICED IT OR JUST BRUSHED IT OFF WHENEVR U SAW IT#BUT ITS THAT CHARACTER!!!! ITS THAT MEDIA THAT UR MADLY IN LOVE WITH????#also im being 100 percent legit when i say that the sense of comeraderie i feel when someone says theyve ALSO read one piece#is insane#discovering that domics and worthiikids and all these other big youtubers that ive known for years have loved one piece like me?#it makes my heart clench and my eyes water man#ive never felt so connected to the world... one piece really is peak fiction.....#i love one piece's community sm....
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I need to paint my characters realistically every so often. for my health. I need to see him.
#GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#steve#time and time again#ttawebcomic#portrait#illustration#portrait illustration#digital art#my art#my ocs#character portrait#god I uhhhhhhm#he uhhhhhh#idk if. sorry I cant type with him looking at me like that#I always struggle to be like. does this actually look like a guy. does he look like someone. who could like exist. idk#idk if he does HAHAHAHHA#I wasnt really looking too much at references tbh#which is BAD dont DO THAT!!!!!!!!#I just like to test my limits...........#anyways yeah. I love hjim.#also every time I'm painting him and he doesnt have his beard on I literally feel like I'm doing something wrong#cause it's so integral to what his face looks like#so I'm always futzing around like wtf is the problem...#the problem? beard
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Okay fuck it. I need to exorcise this from my brain. This has haunted me for 2 or 3 years since I saw this film by chance, so I am going to, as best I recall, recap the plot. And then at the end I will say what it is so you can understand why it haunts me. I will say off the bat that you might read this ramble and go "huh this sounds good actually" and it is not. It is not a good movie.
So the film is framed as a story being told to someone -- we're not quite sure whether it's meant to be taken literally or allegorically but the ending and some other details IMPLY it's actually true.
So there's our narrator, who is an average mortal guy living a happy life. And then there's our second protagonist and actual main character, a celestial bureaucrat whose order's numbers are drawn entirely from those who have been denied a chance at a normal happy life. Whilst they can forsake their status to become mortal, as far as the bureaucrat and his peers are concerned, they are happy and performing a valuable service to reality. Our MC has been sent to Earth to investigate a threat to his organisation, and to do so he has infiltrated the narrator's life, seemingly metaphysically convincing everyone that he is the narrator's brother -- except the narrator, who sees through him and ends up convinced to help our MC as it's mutually beneficial; once the mission is done, the narrator's life returns to normal and the MC returns to his role.
So what's happening is that a rival organisation to the MC's has started up and is diverting... Okay so you can see the obvious parallels here and "worship" would fit, but I'll use the film's term of "love" because it's thematically coherent. Anyway, this organisation has a big scheme they're going to hatch to divert all love away from the Rightful Celestial Bureaucracy, and it's up to our protagonists to stop them.
See, the thing going on here is that love is finite. If someone only has one thing to love, they'll love it wholly, but if they have two things to love, that divides the love in two and so on. If they find something they love more than the original object of affection, it could fully supplant it, and that's the crux of the villain's plan.
Because the villain is a fallen celestial bureaucrat who lost his ability to hold onto his celestial form and was forced to become mortal. His plan for revenge is to supplant the love people have for his former order with love for a false idol, thus destroying the whole celestial bureaucracy. The fact this is considered a legitimate and real threat by the celestial bureaucracy implies that this is, metaphysically, how this works. Even if we take this story allegorically, the allegory still has the basis "love is a finite resource and you learn to make do".
Obviously our heroes defeat him, and obviously during this time they've genuinely bonded and decided that maybe having this guy as a brother/maybe having a loving family as a mortal is okay actually. So our celestial bureaucrat becomes a mortal and this whole story becomes just a funny whimsical reframing of the brothers' childhood.
Yes, childhood. Because here is where I unbury the lede and reveal that the villain is the CEO of PuppyCorp, whose plan is to give everyone a free puppy so that they'll love babies less, because the celestial bureaucracy is BabyCorp.
The movie I have just described to you is Boss Baby. I am being deadly fucking serious.
#rvnspeak#i cut a lot of stuff out but i promise you that i kept the overall plot intact. i just cut out the scenes you'd expect of This Movie#there's like a whole thing where the infiltrate the rival corporation. doesnt matter.#anyway the existence of the extended universe of this film implies we are meant to take the events literally. which is insane#also yes the celestial bureacracy is in the clouds and very heaven coded. it is literally a celestial corporation.#this film came on TV over christmas several years ago and i half-watched it. it haunts me. what do you mean THIS IS ITS PLOT
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The most moderate, nuanced and productive people I have discussed the Israel-Hamas war with have been Jews, Israelis, and people with Palestinian family. Everyone directly affected by this just wants it to stop and to have peace and safety in the region in a way that minimises the casualty count.
The most extreme and performative and vile things I've been told are by people who have no connection to this and like to think they are experts because they have covered adjacent topics during learning, or read stuff online.
If all the randos in the west would just shut up for ten minutes and let those of us actually affected, with an understanding of the history of the land and the culture and the generational trauma experienced by Jews and Palestinians alike talk, we might actually have a chance to salvage this and stop it spiraling
#jumblr#antisemitism#i/p#nuance is something so easy to have and yet people choose not to#we are measured and non extreme because we dont have the privilege to be angry.#someone literally said that they wont ensge further with me because the topic makes me emotional#jews get called genocidal#palestinans get called Antisemitic#how about the rest of you shut the fuck up and let the adults talk#maybe youll learn how to problem solve and not be a bigot if you listen to those you so desperately want to hate#its pathetic#we all know hamas doesnt represent all Palestinians#we also know hamas teaches Antisemitism in schools in gaza and the west bank#these two things can and should co-exist in your head#that doesnt meam all palestinians are rabid jew hating murderers#it means the situation is complicated and not black and white and will take more than just screaming for a ceasefire to actually solve#we are not a football for your performative activism
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based on this scene.
[ uncensored here :) ]
#ignore the wonk ass hand#pls pretend this tag doesnt exist but man aphrodisiacs are such a huge turn on for me auguhhh aw man that landfill scene.......#i literally couldnt stop thinking abt it i had to draw something or my mind wouldnt shut the fuck up#BUT IT DIDNT EVEN HELP IM STILL THINKING ABT IT NOW AUGHHHHHHYYHHHHHH#degrees of lewdity#robin the orphan#tw noncon#my art#[ ❀ ]
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I need to marinate more thoughts for this but. okay so gravity falls au. partially inspired by this. fiddleford has the memory gun and he's This Close to using it on himself to erase what he saw in the portal. he pauses. he thinks, just because I forget doesn't mean stanford will stop building the portal. he thinks it's all or nothing. he goes to stanford's shack in the woods. he sneaks in through the side door and sees stanford sleeping on the couch. it's dark outside. the lights are out. fiddleford can barely make out the shape of his former-friend's body. fiddleford looks at Stanford one last time. he types into the memory gun, Stanford Pines. he points the gun. half a second before he fires, Stanford stirs, as if sensing the danger he is in. he manages to get out "who-" before fiddleford, panicking, pulls the trigger before he can chicken out completely.
stanley wakes up on a couch he doesn't remember falling asleep in, with a terrified looking man standing over him, holding a glowing gun, and thinks this is one hell of a situation i've gotten myself into
#mads posts#gravity falls#gravity falls au#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford h mcgucket#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#LISTENNNNNN#THE POSSIBILITIES THAT ARISE FROM EXISTENCE OF THE MEMORY GUN#UNLIMITED#what if ! stan didnt know he had to get ford back#what if fiddleford fucks up soooooo so bad#will he use the gun on himself to wipe his own memory and abandon everything?#will he try to fix what he's done to stanley?#will he try to fix the PORTAL?#who knows? not me. idfk#personally im leaning towards fiddleford FREAKS OUT and just books it#as soon as he realizes that this guy isnt stanford#and then the next day he sees this really confused dude in town and everyone is asking him if he's that scientist in the woods#and stan ofc is like 'the who what in the where? also where am i'#bc through the power of handwaving i am declaring the memory gun erased EVERTYTHING related to stanford#and bc the journey and the town are so closely tied to ford stan forgot everything#eventually someone offers stan the money for a tour and he says yes bc free money#and takes this dude (who tf is stanford)'s identity#clearly this stanford guy is gone and not coming back because there are literally no signs that anyone has been alive in the goddamn house#(this is because ford is bad at taking care of himself and stan has been busy dying of an infected burn)#and fiddleford is like. fuck. i fucked up.#uses the memory gun on himself to forget what he's done#and then bc he doesnt remember what he's done he then uses it on himself to forget the portal
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