#literally all I’ve been drawing the past few days has been this guy
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canayams-art · 11 days ago
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I’m sketch-dump coping—
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blakbonnet · 7 months ago
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Artist of the Week!
So last weekend, I announced that I'd like to feature an artist every weekend for both new fandom joinees who might not have seen some of this art and older fans who like the nostalgia. This week's artist is Ash @aha-my-villainous-thoughts 💖 who also, wonderful that they are, agreed to answer a few questions for me!
Which App Do You Use To Draw When I’m at my big set up I use Clip Studio Paint, I love it so much. It’s very straight forward to dip straight in, has all of the bells and whistles you need from an elite drawing program, and the community elements where you can see assets and brushes is a lot of fun - although I still to this day have no idea how to earn coins to buy assets?! I use a XPPen Artist 15.6 Pro Graphics Tablet to draw into the program, although my best tip with graphics tablets is to get a screen protector, mine got covered in marks before I noticed. Recently I also got an iPad 10.9 to use as a digital sketchbook I can carry around, and while I am enjoying Procreate, I think CSP is a better art program overall.
Fave Brushes? On iPad I stick to the technical pen, studio pen and the soft airbrush, along with the textures and the light pen. I don’t think Procreate has great ‘painting’ brushes, whereas on CSP I would marry the Gouache brushes, I love how they blend and texture as you work.
Your favourite piece you’ve drawn? I’m a super self indulgent artist, I try to draw the kind of stuff I like to look at, so it’s a lot of colour, a lot of fabric and details. My fave piece for detail is the one I did for the OFMD RBB last year - Crescente Devotione, there’s a blushing sentient stool in it! For colour I’m in love with this sleepy time Ed in a lil negligee and a Holly Golightly eyemask, he's my lock screen because I'm trash.
Who harder to draw: Ed or Stede? Oh for sure Stede. I love Rhys Darby, but the man has like no lips. I stand by this meltdown.
One essential tip for beginner artists? Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t measure yourself against others - particularly when you’re finding your groove. Be self indulgent af. Also get a screen protector for whatever digital screen you draw on, and BACK. THINGS. UP. Whether in an online account, or on an external harddrive - or both?! BACK THAT SHIT UP.
Why OFMD? I’ve been in a few fandoms in the past, always as a pretty passive enjoyer, little fanart here or there, little fanfic sprinkled around, but there’s just something about the way this fandom feels? It feels like a group of friends who’ve got their own lives and their goals, but they still exist in each other's orbit, it’s like this feeling of returning home to somewhere you’re always welcome. There’s so many good moments in the show for both comedy and some gut wrenching pathos. Sign up for the hot guy in leather and get got by this beautiful delicate little love story. It’s something about queer joy of thriving, not just surviving. Something about finding love and romance no matter your age or what’s past before. Something about found family, and unlikely friendships, and community and silliness. I was already a goner when Taika put on the wig, but then when he teared up in a blanket fort while trying not to die? Excuse me sir, I did not need feelings that powerful. It was literally waking me up at night thinking about his last shot weeping in the nook - like are you kidding me?! I’m supposed to finish watching and be normal after that??
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enha-hype · 1 year ago
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maeumi & me - ch 26 : misunderstood
a/n : written part comes first. ignore timestamps in pictures as usual but not for the written part!
w.c. : around 2k oops
9:30 am.
You're in the midst of stealing another sneaky glance at Jungwon as he works when Heeseung arrives. He walks over to your table and flops down opposite to you, his annoyance evident in his sarcastic smile. You roll your eyes.
“Okay fineee, I lied about where I was. But I am doing my homework here as you can see!” You wave your worksheets at him. “It's just that Won has been bugging me to try the café's new Dalgona coffee and I was like, what’s so great about Dalgona right, I mean I can make it myself at home and he was like, no we add this special ingredient that makes it absolutely delightful and I was like.…” you trail off, realising you’re rambling and not really helping your case, judging by the look on your friend's face. You clear your throat. “Anyway, I had some time left since my first hour today was cancelled and I thought I might as well come here and get some coffee and finish my homework and I didn't tell you because I mean, you've already been bugging me non-stop since last night,”
“Well of course I have!You two almost kissed!!” he shrieks, drawing the attention of a table of friends nearby.
“Shhh, quiet down he's literally a few feet away! Also wait, you saw that?”
“Yuh huh! Why else do you think I've been losing my–”
“So you interrupted us on purpose?” Shit. Did you actually ask that out loud? You hadn’t meant to. “Actually no forget I said that–”
Heeseung’s eyebrows shoot up, an amused smile replacing his scowl. “Well, I–”
“Nuh uh I don't wanna hear it la la la la la la,” you plug your ears with your hands.
He shakes his head. “Y/n, come on. What are you doing? It's so obvious that you like Jungwon–”
“I don't like him! It's just that he's so nice to Maeumi and so sweet to me and– Ugh, hold on I'm getting a call. Hello?”
It's your classmate calling you up to remind you about the meeting for a group assignment. You promise her you’ll be there on time and hang up. You turn your focus back to Heeseung, who is leaning forward with his hands crossed on the table, looking at you with patient scepticism. You sigh - he’s right. What are you doing? Why are you trying to dismiss these feelings that are as clear as day? “I know that look.”
“What look?”
“The look that says you don't believe my bullshit.”
“Well you got something right at least.”
You put your head into your hands. “Fine. I like him, okay? Maybe a little too much. And yes I came here so I could see him again even though it’s barely been two hours since I saw him back at Jake’s place. And it's just. Ahhhh. I don't know, I've never liked anyone this way before and it feels so nice but also weird because it’s new and a little overwhelming sometimes and I just maybe need some time to come to terms with it before you guys all start freaking out,”
He nods and leans back in his seat, satisfied. “Okay.”
You look up at him in disbelief. “‘Okay’?? That's it???”
He laughs. “What, did you expect me to demand to know everything right now? Come on Y/n, give me some credit. I’m not that bad of a friend.”
“Debatable,” you tease, ducking as he reaches to hit you playfully. “Well no it’s not that. I just, I don’t know, expected a bigger reaction I guess?”
“You know you guys have not really been discreet or anything right? It’s kind of been a little too obvious the past few days. But I will say that I wasn’t expecting you guys to go in for a kiss last night right when I happened to walk in. Which is why I may have, uh, panicked a little and ended up switching on the light,” he flashes you a sheepish smile.
You shake your head, feeling your cheeks get hot as you think back to the moment. God, so close. If only you hadn't been interrupted... “You lil shit,”
“Wha– you just said it yourself, it’s weird! I’ve never seen you do ‘romancey’ stuff and you've always been so blehh about dating and relationships and now suddenly you can’t stop gushing about this guy and I don't know, it's like seeing your sibling kiss. Gross,” he cringes and you slap his hand.
“Ow! Also, where is Jungwon?”
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9:06 am.
Jungwon has practically been vibrating all morning from the excitement of what happened last night. Well, of course nothing really happened, strictly speaking. Still, he was happy at the prospect of it. At the idea that he maybe has a chance with you after all. Like, he’s had a crush on you for so long, it seems unreal. He had almost fully accepted the fact that that was all it was ever going to be – a crush. And then things happened, and here he was. He bites the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself from smiling. From the corner of his eye, he catches the weird looks his older co-barista, Taehyun, has been giving him.
The front door opens with a ding of the bell, indicating the arrival of another customer. Jungwon finishes serving the caffè mocha he was making just in time to greet the new one.
“Good morning, what–” he stops short when he looks up and sees that it’s you. He stutters and completely forgets what he meant to say and gives up halfway. From the way he’s grinning, even a passerby who chances to see him from the sidewalk outside could guess he’s head over heels. Taehyun recognises you immediately – he's only seen Jungwon behave like an idiot one other time, which was the first time you had come here a couple of weeks ago. Jungwon had immediately dropped everything he was doing and had all but run to you despite how busy the cafe had been that day, leaving the poor guy to deal with the growing line of customers all by himself. Although it had been a bit of an inconvenience, Taehyun didn't give him too much of a hard time about it because for one thing, it had been kind of cute to see him all flustered, and for another, Jungwon was someone who was usually pretty diligent with his work.
But here you are again. Cue Jungwon forgetting how to function like a normal human being.
“Hi,” Jungwon finally says, barely able to restrain the grin that he knows is a little too wide to be casual. “What are you doing here?”
You can't help but laugh. “You have got to stop greeting me like that every time I come here! Do you not like me visiting you at work?” You turn as if to leave, mostly to see how he'd react.
“No no wait sorry!” He reaches over and grabs your arm, planting it on the counter. “I just meant that if you were planning on coming here then we could've left together,” he drawls.
“Well, it was more of a last minute decision. Class got cancelled and I thought I'd just drop by and check out the new drink you were raving about. See what all the fuss is about,” you shrug nonchalantly, though the twinkle in your eyes betrays you. You're hyper-aware of the fact that his hand is ever-so-lightly brushing your forearm.
“Oh you’ll see alright,” he assures you, and with just a hint of nervousness seeping into the confidence, he enquires, “so, is that the only reason you're here?” He steals a quick glance at your lips, the pretty curve of them, before meeting your eyes again.
“Why else?” you ask, as though you have no idea what he could possibly be alluding to, although your hammering heart and the cheeky grin spreading across your face tell otherwise. Jungwon’s own giddy smile says he isn’t slow to catch on, either.
“I see. Strictly beverage purposes then.”
“Strictly,” you nod solemnly, suppressing your smile.
Taehyun clears his throat. “So, your order?”
You blink, suddenly remembering that you have an audience, and also that you're not just here to see Jungwon (well that's the story anyway). “Oh right, yes! Sorry. One Dalgona coffee, please.”
Jungwon flashes you an apologetic smile as he gets to work. “Sit wherever you'd like, your order will be ready in 10!”
Jungwon is so nervous about getting your order absolutely perfect that he messes up twice. Taehyun shakes his head, both amused and exasperated. When Jungwon starts to try for the third time, he stops him. “Gimme, I'll do it.” Jungwon mumbles a relieved thank you before internally chiding himself to get a grip. He can't continue to be such a mess every time you're around.
When he's done, Taehyun places the drink on the counter, ready to be served. He can see Jungwon open his mouth to say something and then change his mind and turn away. This happens again when he sees the waiter approaching and Taehyun rolls his eyes. “Oh my God, Jungwon, just go. I know you're itching to give it to them yourself,” he says, smiling despite himself.
Jungwon rubs the back of his neck, embarassed. “You sure?”
“Yeah yeah. We're not that busy yet it's fine. But just don't stay too long – you never know when our manager might drop by to check.”
He places the tray on the table in front of you, making sure to keep it as far away as possible from your books and worksheets so as to not ruin them.
“Ooo, what's this?” you ask, pointing to the ice cream sandwiches.
“Just little complementary treats.”
He watches you take the first sip and sees your eyes widen. “Oh, my God. This is a-mazing! What do you put in it?!”
“Well, it’s called a secret ingredient for a reason,” he beams. If he keeps being this cute you feel like one of these days you might just let your intrusive thoughts win and reach out to poke a finger into his adorable dimples. “Alright well enjoy the rest of it. I'm afraid I gotta get back,”
As he walks back, Jungwon finds that he's kind of glad the kiss didn't happen last night – he would like to properly ask you out first. How should he do it? Maybe he should keep it sweet and simple, make you a latte heart or something. Yeah, maybe you’d like that. And what should your first date be? Something cliché like a movie or dinner date? Or something unique? Ahh, he doesn’t know. If it were up to him, he’d just be content to have you over and do what you used to do before he started the internship. He doesn't care what you do as long as you are together.
9:32 am.
Jungwon steals a glance at your table and is surprised to find Heeseung with you. Huh. Guess you two had plans to meet up here. He waits as he serves two other customers to see if Heeseung would come to order anything for himself. When he doesn’t, Jungwon decides to go over himself and say hi.
As he approaches, he notices that you two seem to be deep in conversation, talking animatedly, and he slows, wondering if he should maybe come back after a while. Bits of the conversation float up to him right then and he freezes :
“It's so obvious that you like Jungwon–”
“I don't like him! It's just that he's so nice to Maeumi and so sweet to me and– Ugh, hold on I'm getting a call. Hello?”
Oh.
Right.
Of course.
It suddenly feels like someone just sucked all the sunlight out of the room. Jungwon turns right around, relieved that neither of you noticed him approaching. Taehyun looks up from scrolling through his phone when Jungwon rushes back to the counter. He yanks his apron off, hangs it up hastily and grabs his things to leave.
“Wha–” Taehyun starts to ask but Jungwon cuts him off.
“Something came up. I have to go,” he apologises for the short notice and is out the door before the latter even has a chance to reply.
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a/n : please tell me at least one of y'all noticed the foreshadowing from profiles 2 🙏🏽
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artsybug0 · 1 year ago
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I hope it's not at all sappy to say but I was thinking about it so I feel the need to say it! I'd been peeking around the WH art before I got to posting my own and YOUR art specifically is why I got the courage to show off and post my silly OC Dandy!
All that to say, thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration, I love your work to bits! I love your oc to bits! 💖 I hope I can find time to draw Millie someday but for now I just send you all the love!!!!!!!
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STOOPP YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY 😭
THIS IS LITERALLY SO SWEET!! I’m genuinely so happy I could inspire you and others! Words cannot express how much that means to me!
Admittedly I do have a lot of personal insecurities and a part of it is thinking I don’t impact people or matter much. But for the past few months I’ve been feeling more confident about how I am seen by other people. It makes me unbelievably happy to hear I have a positive effect on someone!
I’m so happy I inspired you to post your silly little Oc and I ADORE your art!! I hope to see more!! And don’t force yourself to draw Millie! Take your time and just do it when it feels right! Thank you for sharing this information with me! It really made my day!
I’ve been having a difficult few months with my mental health but interacting with you guys and posting my work does help me. I really should be thanking you for the support because it has helped me a lot!
I love you lots!!!
And now I’m gonna try not crying in class because this shit got to me hard 🤣
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kyberblade · 2 years ago
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Somehow we’re here, and I need to take a look around….
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Well, guys, as Back To You draws closer to an end, (don’t worry, there’s still the sequels, it’s far from over - and we still have mayyyyybe 5 or so chapters left….) I’m starting to get a bit sad and nostalgic.
This has been such a journey. And while it isn’t goodbye goodbye, it’s still an end to a part of it, and it makes me sad. 😩
Looking back, I realized, this journey has been filled with people, more than anything else, and I wanted to take a moment to touch on that.
I know I’m going to forget people, and if I do, I am so sorry. Know that I DO remember you, I am just really horrible with names, truly.
These are just some of the amazing people I’ve met along the way on this journey, and I don’t know what I would do without you.
*deep breath, here we go….*
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@grippingbeskar - I really blame you for all of this nonsense. You got me into this mess. And I love you for it. ❤️
@fordo-kixed-rex - You’ve helped me in so many ways, and we talk every. Day. I don’t know what I would do without you, friend. 🩵
@littlemisspascal - You’ve been so kind to me every step of the way, and your tags have always made me smile! Your lists are a blessing to this fandom and you are a gift to everyone. Thank you for all you do, and for being you. 💗
@what-the-heckin-heck - I love screaming with you. I love brainstorming with you. There are so many things I love doing with you, I can’t even list them all here. 💜
@dontletyourchildrenwatchthis - You are responsible for brilliance such as, “You snore like a kriffing bantha.” And I have laughed so so so hard every time you come up with these gems. You get me. ✨ 💛
@lloweryourstandardss - We’ve only talked a few times really, and I know it isn’t much, but we’ve brainstormed, and you’ve gotten back into writing some yourself, and I’m so excited to see what you’ve got! You make me laugh so hard! 💖
@multifandomsw - You encouraged me at the very beginning to “just post it”, and I’ve never looked back. Thank you, friend. I hear your voice each time I post a new chapter, and I smile. 💕
@aesnawan - You brought these characters to life for me, and I can never thank you enough. What you’ve created is truly beautiful and I love love love to stare at it. It’s not enough, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 🧡
Some people I’ve talked to a few times but I’m horrible at maintaining a convo sometimes but know that I value what you have to say and you’ve made me smile like a fool many times over - @eeopxlt @yourcoolauntie @lam-ila @i-own-loki @kurlyfrasier @silver-pieces @heyitsaloy @professionalfangrrl @hoodedbirdie @nghtwngs @queenmalhinewahine @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @qweenrogerina @pxl8ed @jxvipike @itzagothamcitysiren @cheoriemoawa @dilfsaremyfavourite @thereaperisabitch @djarintreble @dilf-din @sexysquatch ���
If we’ve talked and I forgot you - I’M SO SORRY!!! Even if we never talked and you just commented on something of mine, or simply liked or reblogged, know you made me smile so big, and I remember the feeling, if not your name. I literally can be the worst with names, but know I think of all my past convos and smile. I know I keep saying that but AHHHHHHH! It’s true. I value each and every one of you, and am beyond honored you’ve chosen to go on this journey with me. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. ❤️‍🔥💞
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chanstopher · 2 years ago
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so I’ve hit the big one. Thank you for 10k followers, that’s literally so insane I really don't deserve this. I made this blog a little over two years ago, and it’s been so much fun to make so many new friends on here! So I have a few things lined up as a thank you, so this is gonna get long. 
I’m opening my requests and making a game out of it, so send me an emoji and get a set/gfx:
🖤 + make me choose between two members, music videos, ships, eras, etc. for a gifset 🐺 + a color palette along with a member, music video, or era for a gfx 🫧 + a member for a comp set. you can give me a vibe, era, hair color etc. too 🌙 + a member and era or award show for stage gifs
I’m being a bit presumptuous and assume I’ll be getting a few so please be patient with me getting them all out, I don’t want to rush anything I want to make sure  I give you my best effort hehe. I’ll try to post 2-3 a day. This will be open for one week from tomorrow, January 27th (since its already late) so feel free to take your time and pick something you want. I’ll keep making them until they’re all done though! All posts here
Thanks and a gift under the cut 🖤🤍✨
Second I just want to thank all of the people who have interacted with me over the past two years, whether we're best friends or you just sent me an anon, I truly appreciate you. I don't wanna start listing out mutuals or followers because that would inevitably leave someone out, and there are so many people I've never even spoken to; but recognize urls from my notifications, that are dear to me. Thank you for giving me a reason to keep making content, especially art. This blog is the reason I truly got back into drawing and have tried really hard to improve over the past two years. Without you guys, I'd still be drawing flat faces and not blending anything 😭 You have no idea what your small encouragements have meant to me when I've been stressed or struggling with a drawing. And I'm just thankful to feel like I'm accepted tbh. Having ppl call me by my name in tags, even if we've never talked - especially if we've never talked - it makes me feel like really comfortable and loved? That's corny, but I can't think of a better word. I also just want to say thank you for letting me love Chris so loudly, he is really my greatest comfort; and being able to just express that in whatever way my unhinged brain thinks has been so fun and just so nice. There are a billion blogs on this site and you choosing to come here and stay here is truly a gift that idk how to pay back. I know this is just tumblr and it's not that serious, but it's the place I find comfort, so I'm thankful I've got you to share it with.
 okay okay, no more sap LASTLY i'm going to share a few psds of mine as a thank you. so feel free to download them and use them to your heart's content <3
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I nEvEr GeT aSk GaMe StUfF
✨🦋🌿🎀💝💥💎💌
Geee, alright already! 🤣🤣🤣
✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)
Okay, first things first, I'm pretty satisfied with how all of my fics have been perceived so far, so I can't really complain. 
That being said: Someone who cares is doing significantly less good than Hic sunt dracones, statistics-wise. It is my own emotional support fic and incredibly close to my heart, so I really am delighted about every positive comment I get about it. 
🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?
Erm, everything? Can I say everything? 🤣
I'm literally a nervous wreck after posting, anxiously hitting F5 and waiting for feedback, mind in a constant loop of self-doubt.
What if my characterization is off?
What if the premise sucks?
What if my readers don't like the direction I'm taking the story? 
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! 
🌿how does creating make you feel?
So many things!!! 
For one thing, it scratches the brain itch. I’ve always had to create things, as far back as I remember. When I was a kid, my parents could stick me in a corner with some paper and scissors and crayons and glue and wouldn’t hear from me for hours. 
Even during the 15 years that I didn’t write, I always had to be doing something creative. Knitting, painting, drawing, photographing, you name it. It’s an urge that I need to fulfill and I get crabby if I can’t. 
Seeing the end results makes me feel insanely proud and accomplished. It may not be perfect, but I made that! I sunk my teeth into it and saw it through and made this wonderful thing that I love. 
🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing
How dare you make me say nice things about myself?! 
Okay … I guess my writing does something to other people that makes them want to create their own stuff. People have repeatedly told me that reading my fics kickstarted their own imagination into creating stories or art of their own. And every time that happens, I get so incredibly happy because that is like a god-tier compliment right there! That somebody found my writing so engaging that it made their brain spin off on a tangent and they created something out of it! 
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
Dragons! Dragons dragons dragons dragoooooons!!!! 
The feedback I am getting for this fic just won’t stop blowing my mind, seriously, and every time I think it’s done, you guys hit me in right in the feels again with your gorgeous comments and rec lists mentions and fucking FANART! I am incredibly happy and humbled and awed that people are loving it so much! 
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
That would be Someone like you, which is a little bonus story to Someone who cares. It's a purely self-indulgent little one-shot featuring married Steddie and a baby. This universe is my emotional support AU and I loved visiting the boys again. 💕
💎why is writing important to you?
Wow, where to start? 
Because it's incredibly fun and allows me to completely immerse myself in the story I'm creating. Because I get to be self-indulgent and spoil myself and make the story exactly like I want it to be. 
And because I have met so many amazing, creative, lovely ppl through it over the past few months, who bring me joy and make me smile every single day.
I honestly don't know how I could ever go without it for so long! 
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!
Okay, so I'm still firmly stuck on the demon!Eddie brainworm and fully planning on turning it into a chaptered fic. I'm still figuring out a lot of the specifics, but I've already got some nice twists and details planned. There'll be demon besties Eddie and Chrissy, a nice side of Buckingham, lots of smutty goodness, Dustin running a mystery YouTube channel and so much more, it will be glorious! 
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saturday, october 5, 2024 11:01 pm
i have a headache and i want to complain so
I’m in a really bad mood kinda and i have this shitty headache and my brothers in the hospital and i can’t listen to music without getting upset but I’m uncomfortable cuz i really want to listen to something
so i live with my sister and her kids right? and she in the middle of getting a divorce but like they still live together. so like they fight all the time and niggas(i don’t usually use this online but i’m mad as fuck so who cares anyways[did i ever say i was black?]) always end up getting involved and her fuck ass stupid babydaddy is yelling at me and doing all this bs. i need that guy to die. this nigga got drunk last night and cuz my sister didn’t want to endanger her kids she called the police, tell me why he woke up the next morning and didn’t even remember it happened? seriously fuck this guy, i HATE him HATE HATE HATE. this nigga makes me feel like am from i have no mouth and i must scream cuz it’s just pure hate. and then this guy is saying we have to move out in two weeks even though last week he said the end of the year when he knows we don’t have any money and my brother is literally in the fucking hospital
fuck anyway. i was gonna make a post the day he had to go but i didn’t feel like writing anything but now i can’t sleep and I’m trying to draw and I’m pissed off with a headache so. we was feeling really sick for like a week or since like monday or saturday right? and he like couldn’t stand or move or get up and so thursday my mom was like, “okay we need to get you to the hospital because this isn’t what colds are like”. so he goes to the hospital and they diagnose him with chronic appendicitis and he has to get emergency surgery. he’s been in the hospital ever since and i just visited him today and stayed for 6 hours or something like that. it was from like 11 to 5 pm. he’s not reallly getting better. the surgery went well and all but he hasn’t been able to eat and anytime he eats he throws up so they keep extending his stay like every day. i know he’s gonna be okay i just feel really bad for him cuz like he’s in a lot of pain
okay next thing. so i struggle with like feeling like no one cares about me or anything i do and i feel really lonely all the time right? and so every time someone doesn’t respond to me or they stop messaging or talking to me for a few hours/days or they start talking to me less, i feel like they hate me and they’re trying not to be mean and hoping i take the hint and just fuck off and leave them alone. and of course, because i’ve been working on myself for the past couple of months, i’ve been working on this too and i’ve gotten better and tried not to jump to conclusion. but, i have this issue with my bf(idefk anymore bro T-T) so like he’s just got a job(YAY!! i was so happy for him when he told me) so maybe that’s what he’s busy with but like remember when i said he doesn’t message me unless i message him first? now even when i message him he won’t reply for hours or he will then i’ll respond then he’ll stop talking . and he’s probably genuinely busy or something i just wish he’d tell me but i don’t want to bring it up because i don’t want to seem like some clingy annoying idiot and i don’t like bothering people so idk what to do. and like i really like this guy, i think about him all the time and it’s so fucking lame but i enjoy thinking about him and we don’t talk as much and we haven’t called in weeks and i should just kill myself. sorry that isn’t funny. anyways, i’ve been trying not to take it too hard and telling myself that he still likes me and he wasn’t using me for anything and that he’s just busy, but i think I’m like super paranoid or something and I’m still super freaked about it.
i just realized these are three really long paragraphs about shit no one cares about. sometimes i really want to kill myself. and i don’t think anyone would be too upset. they’d come to my funeral, they’d eat, then they’d forget my name until the eulogy and i would just be gone. i wish any cared or pretend to.
sorry. I’m being really dramatic. i just feel horrible today. thank you for reading this. i love you a lot. I’m glad you care, even a little, just enough to sit through my stupid ramblings. i hope you’re laughing or maybe crying or feeling pity or anything at all. i hope my words cause a reaction in you. i hope i do anything at all. i love you. it’s true, pure love. so much love inside of my heart and if you care at all i will give it all to you. i love you.
11:28 pm
i keep mourning myself
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bisluthq · 1 year ago
Note
1) I’m 24, she’s 22 but turning 23 soon. 2) No we never met in RL, but she lives in the country I’m planning to move to, when we were just super friendly she kept suggesting she wants to take me to x, y and z and drive me around. She has me on Snap, and my phone number, so she snaps me and every day we use to text, up until these past few days where she has been drawing back. 3) Literally nothing, I’ve always known I’m straight cause I’ve always had women as best friends, never was attracted to them or made a move on them. It’s just weird that I like her? I’m always checking my phone if she texts and or obsessing over it, etc but partially I feel like it’s cause I’m not used to being courted, or heavily fancied, so it’s sunk into my head the validation? And I think that could be it, it’s messing with my head. So I mean I would still say “straight” but I guess it becomes bi, if I have a crush on her?
I think she’s love bombing me too, personally. She calls me “baby” … She gets slightly jealous if I am flirty with someone else (if it’s a guy). It’s already affecting me because she went from making all those comments, talking to me all night long, wanting to hang out with me, to withdrawing and or peeling back. To where if I send her a text, I’m left on read. She says busy, but she is playing the game. I sent her a Snap and she responded to it saying “smol baby” and then I said “don’t snap me anymore? Sick of me already?” Then she snapped a pic of herself playing whatever, so I just said goodnight.
I’m pretty emotionally unavailable cause what happened in my past and constantly would tell her I like being alone, I like being single, I don’t want anyone. But now it’s shitty cause I feel hooked in with her and this being love bombing potentially.
Like it’s really fucking with my head in an obsessive unhealthy form that’s why I’m kind of desperate for two cents.
I’d tap out of this babe until you’re in the country she’s in and then maybe you can see where it goes in person. It doesn’t sound great rn and I see no value in continuing this when it’s just messing with your head. Give her space and when you’ve bridged the distance, if you are still keen, you can ask to go for drinks or whatever.
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riddle-me-ri · 2 years ago
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I posted 1,089 times in 2022
That's 896 more posts than 2021!
284 posts created (26%)
805 posts reblogged (74%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@finniestoncrane (💚❓️🐧)
@march-harrigan (💙🎩🐰)
@sweetums0kitty (💜😺💯)
@riddlersbimbo (💚🎞❓️)
@spicedchaiandromeda (❤💫📚)
I tagged 926 of my posts in 2022
Only 15% of my posts had no tags (oops)
#ri rambles - 305 posts
#ri answers - 137 posts
#rip - 100 posts
#ri writes - 93 posts
#edward nygma - 89 posts
#the riddler - 87 posts
#finnie writes - 70 posts (💚💚💚)
#fanart - 61 posts
#finnie 💚 - 41 posts (💚💚💚💚 ilysm can't you tell)
#dc comics - 41 posts
Longest Tag: 99 characters
#but i will literally try to compensate by knowing everything there is to know about its development
(rip this was me explaining how I'm a fan of video games despite my lack of capability to play them)
Keep Reading for my Top Posts of 2022, it was getting really long lmao
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Riddlers Reacting to Reader Wearing A “TikTok” Dress
A/N: okay so a few things:
1) This was one of my first original ideas for headcanons when I first decided to write fanfics again, so I’m excited to feel confident enough to write it rip (this is also one of the more self indulgent ideas I’ve had so bare with me)
2) Heidi Lavon owns my tiktok, so it’s my job to bless you with her content here’s her in the dress:
3) It’s called the Carmen Dress and it has a $300 price tag on god save queens
4)  As I mentioned this is 100% self indulgent, so sorry for ALL the errors, this idea has been brewing in my mind for months until I couldn’t hide it anymore, so if it reads like rambles…that’s why lol
( Also, I mention it in only one or two headcanons, but ALL these bastards would ask if it comes in green (unfortunately it doesn’t but I’ll be damned if a couple these guys won’t try and make it happen) also this all takes place in private)
Trigger Warnings: heavy suggestiveness (I mean...look at the dress) and strong language (I have a sailor mouth, sorry not sorry)
See the full post
143 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#4
How our Riddleboys react to their asses getting slapped? Not like in a sex way. Just reader casually walks past and gives them a good ol’ smack on the ass to flirt in a silly way.
A/N: hehe…hehehe…sorry this request gave me the giggles for the longest time lmao. If this isn’t some shit I’d do hehe
How The Riddlers React to Having Their Asses Slapped
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148 notes - Posted December 14, 2022
#3
hi if its fine with you id like to request riddler with an artsy s/o and like theyre suffering artblock so they do a painting of him (he finds it sweet)
can be any riddler of ur choice and i also prefer gender neutral but if u end up writing fem i dont mind!
have a good night/day
-anon
A/N: aahhh that’s meee…this request resonates with me so well as an artist that suffers from art block or a chronic victim of endless reference scrolling to where I get lost saving references for everything but what I was looking for rip…only for me to settle and just draw Eddie from different media lol. And I'm so sorry ahead of time this got ridiculously long, I got really carried away and was having so much fun with the idea rip. So sorry for the length!
Riddlers React to Reader’s Art of Him:
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152 notes - Posted November 10, 2022
#2
I know Arkhamverse has trauma from being strangled, but I always want to kiss EVERY SINGLE RIDDLER on his neck! And that got me thinking... So I have to ask, how do the Riddlers feel about their necks? Like are any of them sensitive? Ticklish? Are any against their neck being touched? Do any love when their s/o goes for their neck?
A/N: okay but anon…how…how did you know I'm an absolute sucker for neck kisses?? Both giving and receiving?? Decided to go more headcanons this route, hope that's all right anon!
Neck Kisses with the Riddlers
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174 notes - Posted December 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Hey this was me who wanted a whole fic for this scenario for the bottom line "go be pretty over there away from me" could u do it thank u
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A/N: I’m writing this at like 4 am cause I can’t sleep, so if this goes down later tomorrow I'm heavily editing it rip but hey at least I get to practice writing for other rogues that pique my interest! I hope I do them justice. This is another shot of just my own generalized takes on them (albeit I've been watching BTAS again, so they may seem softer than normal rip), and still no Joker sorry not sorry and most of these ended up being fluffier than I intended oop. Special thanks to @like-rain-or-confetti for supporting my ramblings in the tags of my reblogs lol
Batman Rogues x Reader - Yes, You’re Pretty…Now GO AWAY
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264 notes - Posted October 20, 2022
I’m genuinely surprised at all I was able to accomplish after taking a break from fandom and then kinda coming back full speed in September. I can’t even begin to imagine what the rest of this year would’ve turned out had I decided not to throw my hat in the ring. If I decided to just go ahead and post my first story, I wouldn’t nearly be as happy as a creator and I’m so grateful every day for the friends that I have made and continue to make on this platform. 
Thank you guys so much for everything. 
Here’s to 2023!  
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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sexyvampkitty · 2 years ago
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RP Mini-Solo 13: 'Ravenous'
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Yet another night...in another town...in another city...even further away from Mystic Falls...on an endless mission to track down the bastard who dumped me...namely my ex husband. I have no idea where I am...honestly...everything's been kind of...blending together lately. For about the past three months or so...I've been bouncing from one town and city to the next...and from one hotel to the next...leaving a trail of bodies in my wake. I never stay in any one place for too long...just in case I happen to draw any unwanted attention to myself...like any vampire hunters who might or might not be in the area...lurking just beyond the shadows. Every night, starting a few weeks after my ex husband and I split up, I've been out killing anyone unlucky enough to be wearing his face, whether they be human...or vampire. I've got my current victim pinned up against a wall in a dark and dank alleyway behind the local bar, my hand wrapped around his throat, his feet dangling mere inches off of the ground. My face is in full vampire ripper mode...eyes dark and bloodshot...blueish-black veins branching out from underneath to crawl across my cheeks...fangs fully extended...as I lock gazes with the terrified man in front of me. Mmmm...I do love the smell and the taste of fear-induced blood. There's nothing like it. In all of my traveling so far...this guy is the closest I've seen who looks like my ex husband. Except for the fact that he's human...the resemblance is uncanny. Same height...same hair color...same eye color...same build...same everything. This guy could totally be Damon's body double. It's kind of freaky actually. I 'really' wanted to find a vampire tonight...but...I guess that this guy will have to do. I stare deeply into Mister look-a-like's eyes...and ask him if he knows where my ex husband is...but he doesn't have a clue. He tells me that he's never even heard of him. Granted...it's kind of hard for him to talk with my hand still wound tightly around his neck...if all of the gasping and choking is any indication...but...I got the gist of it. So...no ex husband to be found tonight...that's just...disappointing. It looks like this has been a 'huge' waste of my time...again. Oh well. I get to kill this guy now...so it's not a total loss. Human blood doesn't satiate me anymore...ever since Doctor McCreepy infected me with the damn ripper virus...but I've been out of luck finding any vampires to feed on lately...and the further away that I get from Home Crap Home...the worse it gets. They're proving to be even more elusive than the one I'm trying to find so that I can finally drive a stake through his chest. I am counting the days until that moment arrives. Anyway, I've had to make do with human blood. It keeps me from dessicating...but constantly leaves me wanting more. So...I'm literally starving...I'm tired...and I'm pissed off...which just adds to my rage...the only thing keeping me going ever since I flipped my switch again. I give my head a quick shake...clearing it of any more pesky, unneeded thoughts...then focus on the poor guy in front of me again. I tell him that he has to die now...deciding to ignore compelling him not to scream...because...seriously...where's the fun in that...and then I angle my head upwards and forwards...aiming for the tender skin of his throat. My fangs tear easily through his flesh...and as the first few drops of warm blood hit my tongue...I feel like I can't get enough. I move my head from side to side...opening the wound even further...slicing right through the carotid artery...causing blood to splash everywhere...all over my face...down my neck...the front of my shirt...as well as all over the poor guy...who can no longer scream...since he's choking on his own blood. Freaking awesome. In no time...I can hear and feel his heart starting to slow...as it struggles to pump what little blood remains throughout his failing body. His breaths are coming out more shallow now...actually...it's more of a sickly gurgling noise...since he's now literally drowning in his own blood. Yep...it looks like this guy is pretty much running on empty...no more fuel left in the tank. Damn. What a shame. I take a few more deep swallows...then pull back...blood dripping from my fangs...lips...and chin...running down my neck in long, then, sticky red rivulets to mingle with his blood all over my shirt...which is in danger of heading down further to coat my jeans. Freaking Hell. Still in ripper mode...I grab his head with both hands...which is now hanging down limply...eyes forever open in a look of pure terror...and twist it off of his shoulders in one quick motion...letting his lifeless body drop to the ground with a loud thump...his head quickly following. With one last glance at the mess before me...I rub my hands on my shirt...trying to remove as much of the blood as possible from my stained digits...since my shirt is now totally ruined...it doesn't really matter much at this point...then I turn and walk back out of the alleyway...in search of my next victim...not even acknowledging the mess that my clothes have become. It's a minor issue. I'll worry about that later. As usual...human blood didn't help much. Every nerve ending in my body feels like it's on fire...and the veins just under the surface of the skin on my face are rubbing together like sandpaper. I'm still freaking 'starving'. I 'really' need to find a vampire. Having my ex husband pop up right now would be 'really' nice. Hmmm...maybe I can drain him dry...right before I stake him and then tear his damn head off. Yep. That totally works for me...but I doubt that he's here. I don't sense any vampires in the immediate area. Figures. Well...I guess I'll have to track down another human then...preferably another one who looks like Damon. Maybe this time...I'll grab him...compel him...take him back to the hotel where I'm staying...tear all of his clothes off...and screw him like crazy before I kill him...because...hey...a girl has needs...and I 'do' miss the sex. As much as I still despise my ex for what he did to me...I have to admit...the sex was great. I hope I find him soon though. I know that I can't go back home until I either stake him...or vent off some more of this excess rage first. If not...I'll probably kill my ex boyfriend on site...'if' he happens to pop up around town...or...worse yet...I might decide to go after some of the other Damon twins...and that would be suicide. I know that much from lots and 'lots' of personal experience. So...for now...I'm just going to continue on the way that I have. I guess I might have to leave this place soon...after what I just did here tonight...again...because of the ever possible lurky hunter types...but first...I smell another human nearby...score..got to go... (END)
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mercy-burning · 3 years ago
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Your Favorite — Part 1
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: When Y/N comes home from college for the summer to meet her mom's new boyfriend, she finds herself in a rather tough spot when she can’t stop thinking about him— And it seems he feels the same... Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, masturbation (female and male), minor exhibitionism kink, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, breeding kink (kinda? i think? 😅) Word Count: 7.3k (do you see now why I had to make it a miniseries? alsdjfdk)
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST
DISCLAIMER: In this story, Spencer is dating Y/N’s mom while also having a sexual relationship with the reader herself. Because of that, there are obvious undertones of cheating, alongside some perv-y tendencies when it comes to a partner’s daughter. That being said, Spencer and Y/N’s relationship is consensual. However— If any of what I just forewarned is something that you think will make you uncomfortable while reading, please do not read! If there are any more disclaimers you think I may have missed, don’t hesitate to tell me! There is another post I made HERE with some disclaimers as well if you want to know more about what this story will entail.
NOTE: This intro is already too long, so I’ll just get this out of the way: you can find visual nsfw inspirations for this story over at @mercy-midnight, I’m working on a playlist for this story on my Spotify @/mercyburning, and I don’t know when part 2 and 3 will be out, but you can assume they’ll be here within the next few weeks.
———
JUNE 5th
I hate my mom's new boyfriend.
For the past three months she'd been telling me about this new guy who's "The One" as if "The One" hasn't been like four other guys in the past two years.
And as much as I'd love for my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her life with, I don't believe she'd ever find Mr. Perfect at this rate. Unless she spent more than a few months with them at a time before dragging me home from college for a weekend to meet them, I really don't see it happening.
It just sucks. Because every time she does this, every time I return home, I see the glimmering hope in her eyes and the diminishing spark in his, and I know. I know it won't last, and her heart will be utterly broken within the span of a few months.
I always thought maybe she just had terrible taste in men.
But this time around, when I begrudgingly walk through the door of my childhood home for the summer and see my mother clinging to a man who returns that glimmer in her eyes, I know she's picked a good one.
And I hate him.
His name is Spencer Reid, and he's a retired FBI agent who teaches full time at local colleges now.
He greets me with a bona fide, radiant smile, unlike all the others before, and it sets my insides on fire. And when we sit down for dinner, he's polite (but not in a fake way,) and he seems genuinely curious about my studies and my personality and my relationship with my mother. And when dinner is finished he offers to clean up while Mom and I settle in the living room.
I see the way he looks at me as I leave, a gentle, closed-mouth smile and eyes that linger a little too long on my exposed legs before averting, a glint of shame pooling within them, and it only spreads that fire in my belly.
Maybe I'd been imagining the whole thing, because deep down I wanted him to look at me the way he had... But it's hard to tell when my brain is mostly setting off sirens, blaring "THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!" on a loop with blinding lights.
And they're even louder when my mom wraps her arm around me and lays her head atop mine. "Well, what do you think? He's great, huh?"
She's so lovesick, it hurts. It hurts even worse knowing that all I can think about is his big hands wrapped around my throat while he fucks me into the squeaky twin-sized mattress in my bedroom upstairs.
But I can't tell her that, obviously.
And so I decidedly hate him. And I have no choice but lie to her face, embracing her joy and hoping that I'll be able to survive this summer.
"Yeah, Mom. He's really great."
JUNE 19th
It's been two weeks and I can barely stand to be in the same house anymore.
I try to keep myself busy by going outside, to the beach or for long walks in the park; but it's too hot for my liking, and our town is so small that unless I want to spend my time in the grocery store or one of the three bars on Main Street...
I'm stuck either outside where it's hot and uncomfortable, or in the house where it's also hot and uncomfortable.
We have air conditioning, of course, but that's not the problem.
It's Spencer.
I thought by now my little crush on him would have gone, but the longer he hangs around the house, the stronger my feelings for him grow. They're not romantic—nor do I think they ever could be given the fact that if anything serious really were to ever happen between us, my mom would disown me for the rest of my life and murder Spencer with her bare hands—but that doesn't make it any easier on me.
Every day he just exists, right in front of me with that tug-able mop of hair, those warm honey eyes, and his hands that never stop moving. I swear, it's like every time he breathes, his hands are breathing too, challenging me to try and stop them.
But I refuse to touch him. Because I know the moment I do, all will be lost. I won't be able to control myself anymore. And if I don't drop to my knees and try sucking his dick at the dinner table, I'm sure I'll blurt out how I can't handle it anymore and that I need him, and either way I'd be royally fucked.
Right now he's in the dining room, teaching my mom how to do a disappearing card trick. She thinks it's utterly charming that he can do it at all, but mostly that he's patient and willing enough to teach her. And normally I'd agree, but I can barely look at them without wanting to waltz over, grab his wrist, and suck his fingers into my mouth.
It's truly pathetic.
So I try to focus on the television just a few feet away. It's one of those rare instances where I wish our house was bigger, because while I don't mind having less wall-space between rooms, I do mind not being able to watch TV without the kitchen table in my periphery at a time like this. And I think about going up to my bedroom instead for a moment, but I'd have to go past the kitchen, and I just know Mom is going to ask if I'd want Spencer to teach me his magic trick.
And I most definitely do not want that.
In another life, maybe, where he isn't a hot professor and rather an average-looking dude who's way too into fantasy football... But not in this lifetime.
So there I sit, concentrating so hard on Family Feud that my face hurts.
When I hear a flutter of cards and joyous giggling from the other room, it's more than my face that hurts.
It's also my chest, churning and tensing at the hands of the green devil.
Fuck!
I barely even know this man... I haven't really talked to him because I'm afraid that if I try to hold a conversation I'll snap. He's literally just some hot older guy who's dating my mom, and still, my whole body twists and aches with envy when they do anything together, and it fucking sucks. Not only because of the jealousy, but it's also the fact that my mom deserves to be happy.
This time it's different. This time, she's really found someone who returns her every loving gaze, who makes her laugh, who's kind and genuine and not a total douche. She's happier than I've seen her in years.
And the one time she finally finds "The One", every waking second of my life is spent longing for him fuck me.
But it's only been two weeks.
And it's also been nearly two years since I got laid, so maybe that's just my issue...
I figure it can't hurt, so in a spur of the moment decision, I turn the TV off and sprint towards the stairs, right past Mom and Spencer before they can ask questions.
———
I hardly even register the dimness of the light inside the house by the time I glide up the steps, fumbling with the key and trying to make my entrance as quiet as possible. Though, because I'm so used to the dark by this point, the light—no matter how dim—nearly blinds me. The door shuts louder than I'd have liked, and I cringe inwardly, pausing as if that will keep anyone from seeing or hearing me. Not like it'll matter, considering Mom and Spencer are the only ones that are staying here and they'd also been the only ones aware of my plans for the evening.
Well, somewhat, anyway. I told them an old friend invited me out and I probably wouldn't be home until late.
Regardless, that instinct of trying not to get caught coming in late at night is stronger than common sense. Throw a little cheap beer and some shots into the mix, and it almost feels like I'm a teenager again.
The only thing different now is that I have a pool of some stranger's cum soaking my underwear and a man in front of me who stands like an angel. An exhausted, almost scruffy-looking angel more like, but my point still stands.
"You're up late," Spencer observes. It's a simple enough statement— not really judge-y, but I can tell that regardless of his knowledge of my coming home late, he seems shocked to see me coming through the front door right now.
And it's hard to look away from him. Just like it has been for the past two weeks. Still, I try, just barely avoiding his eyes as I cross my arms and fight the urge to clench my legs together. "I'm a whore. What's your excuse?"
Maybe not the best thing to say. But like I said, common sense? Gone.
"O—oh... Umm..." Spencer stumbles through his words, obviously stunned by my response, and the look in his eyes kind of makes me want to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment. Still, I stand my ground and wait for him to continue.
He settles on a short, "I can't sleep," and then there's nothing else.
"Ah," I express. One syllable. I don't draw it out, I don't exaggerate it... This is the first real conversation I've had alone with him, and I've made it extremely awkward, so I sigh and take a few steps forward, trying to walk past him. "Okay. Goodnight."
I only make it a few steps before he stops me, his hand reaching out to tap my shoulder. "Wait—"
The touch makes me jump, and he pulls it away immediately as I turn to face him. My heart is racing at the speed of light, my panties are soaked through, and if I'm not careful that whole 'no common sense' thing is going to bite me so hard in the ass I won't have one left.
"Can I talk to you?" His voice is barely audible, and the gentle rasp it has to it seems to make me even more wet.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
"Look, I um... Your mom has been totally transparent with me about her relationships, so I know that she's been through a lot of them in a short amount of time... And I know that must be a little difficult for you. Especially now that I'm here... And you've been... distant. And I know that I don't know you that well, so forgive me if I'm assuming anything, but I just want you to know that I don't have any intention of making things difficult for you and your mother."
Too late, pal, I think bitterly, the gentle authority in his tone setting my insides alight. I'm positive that voice could get me to do so many things...
That's the alcohol and sex talking, Y/N, just shake it and move on...
He starts again, but I cut him off with a short wave of my hand. "Look, I... I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I had a really long night, and I'm exhausted. I just wanna shower and go to bed."
I expect more resistance, but Spencer only nods. I still can't bring myself to look him in the eye, though this time I catch his hands clenching at the bottom hem of his shirt. "I understand. Sleep well."
Without another word I turn on my heel and walk a little faster towards the stairs, and I'm about to take my first step when I realize he's followed me. His voice calls out my name softly from a few feet behind, and it stops me in my tracks regardless of my desire to get out of there as fast as I can. And then I turn around and finally look directly at his face.
Big mistake.
His eyes are on my legs again, trailing slowly upwards until he reaches my face. The light over here is dimmer, barely noticeable at all, though I swear I can see red forming on his cheeks.
"I like your dress," he says softly. It's almost meek, like he'd been afraid to say it but took a chance anyway.
It's such a random, small compliment, but with the alcohol and endorphins flowing through my body after the night I'd just had, it nearly makes me quiver.
It also makes me incredibly stupid.
An amused, almost sensual grin forms on my face as I make eye contact with him, and I feel myself throb at the way I can just barely see his throat move. He looks like a deer in headlights, afraid to make one sudden move.
"Turning to flattery to try and win me over, are we?" I say slowly.
I almost think he'll stumble over his words once more, but again he surprises me with a full answer. It's only three words but it's clear, and his voice is deep, and I want to fucking jump his bones right then and there.
"Is it working?"
This has to be the alcohol making me imagine things... I swear I didn't even drink that much tonight, but it has to be an obvious lapse in judgement. The drinking mixed with the sex mixed with the dirty thoughts I've been having about this man lately have to be what's making this feel real. It's all culminating into this one big fantasy (or delusion, more like), and all I need is to shower and sleep it off.
That has to be it.
So because there's no other reasonable explanation that my brain can conjure up, I take a chance and throw Spencer a wink before turning and sprinting up the stairs.
And it's that same seemingly undeniable reasoning for this illusion that doesn't keep my hands from wandering in the shower. Even though those warning sirens in my brain keep blaring, telling me that the common sense is still there for me to utilize, they're drowned out by my thrumming heartbeat and the repetition of Spencer's soothing, authoritative voice, guiding my movements.
Keep rubbing your clit for me, baby... Just like that, nice and slow...
Warm water cascades down the front of my body as I lean back into the wall of the shower, but that's not why I'm so warm. This heat radiates through my insides, spreading like wildfire and bringing out small whimpers and mewls that I know I'll have to contain in fear of waking my mom from her bedroom right next door.
But then the thought of her hearing me next door as I cry out her boyfriend's name only excites me more. I keep it quiet still, but just knowing that someone else is in the house while I'm having these thoughts right now (one of them being the object of said thoughts) is what finally brings me over the edge.
I finish my shower on weak legs, definitely overstimulated now, but also feeling even more tired. I know that the moment I lay down on my bed, I'll be pulled into the sweet, soft surrender of a deep sleep.
Nothing else has ever sounded so pleasant.
———
When I woke up that morning after, I was feeling surprisingly calm. Realistically I knew that my whole 'this has to be an illusion' montage had been less truth and more inebriated babble, and the longer I sat on it the more I thought it'd all turned out for the better.
Turns out, tipsily masturbating in the shower to thoughts of your mom's hot new boyfriend was a surefire way to get it out of your system, right?
Wrong.
It really had been okay at first. I thought about Spencer almost immediately, and yeah, he was still hot as fuck—But there wasn't this overwhelming desire within me to jump his bones when I saw him that morning, his hair messy and his hands clutching a cup of coffee while Mom made breakfast behind him.
But that good feeling I had about all of this? It lasts only about a split second.
Because the moment he looks up and sees me, the mug falls out of his hand and shatters to pieces. His eyes stay glued to me, even as my mother darts over to pick up the pieces of the ceramic that are scattered about the table and the floor. And when she turns back to grab a paper towel, he still stares at me, once again at my legs.
It takes me all of four seconds afterwards to remember that not only did I talk to him briefly last night, but I also flirted with him after he complimented me.
That whole part seemed to have slipped my mind when waking up, and now that his gaze is bringing me back to that moment, that 'this has to be an illusion' montage is starting to become larger than I'd remembered.
It isn't until he finally snaps out of it and starts to help my mom clean up the mess that I snap out of it, too, going back upstairs to clear my head and cool the heat radiating over my skin.
———
There's a knock at my bedroom door about an hour later, and it sounds different than my mom's usually quick two-knock succession. That means it's someone else, and unsurprisingly, my stomach tightens at the thought of seeing him again.
"Yeah?" I call out, turning in my desk chair and meeting Spencer's figure in the doorway. He's changed, a rather nice pair of slacks and a white button-up shirt clinging to his limbs.
"Can I come in?"
"Mhm," I say. I still don't know if I entirely trust myself to say anything more than a few words to him, and as he enters the room and sits on the foot of my bed, I wonder if he can tell.
He tries, really tries, to look me in the eye, but I know that it's hard. I've been in the same spot. And then he takes a deep breath before folding his hands in his lap.
"Y/N, I want to apologize... When we... talked last night... It was kind of weird, and then this morning wasn't really any better..." He can barely get out the words 'talk' and 'last night'... And then he avoids my gaze altogether, staring at the floor and trailing off, trying to put his thoughts together it seems.
And that's when it starts to click into place.
There's one thing that both last night and this morning have in common, and I've noticed it almost every time I've caught him staring at me. At my legs. It's happened almost daily since I've met him. And then, the night I come home clearly having just been fucked, waltzing past him, entertaining his fascination with my legs and then masturbating to thoughts of him in the shower, he finally starts dropping mugs.
He must also really feel something here. Something similar to my own feelings. And really, that should be a red flag, because he's my mom's boyfriend, and it's a goddamned fucking mess...
But fuck, it excites me.
I'm still wearing my pajama shorts, silky and lavender in color, and I use them to my advantage, slowly crossing one leg over the other and just barely gaining Spencer's attention back.
"Yeah, what was that, anyway?" I ask him, amusement dripping off my tongue.
I can tell from his reaction that he wasn't expecting me to ask. A few times he opens his mouth to speak and then closes it , stumbling before panicking. He's been pretty good so far at coming up with answers and explanations, so the fact that this time I finally seemed to have broken him down makes it all the more clear.
He must have heard me in the shower.
Right?
I'm almost completely positive that's what this is about. And there's one way for me to get the confirmation I'm looking for.
"So you heard me, huh?"
I try to keep my voice as plain as I can as not to give away my motives, and with my luck Spencer is so flustered that he probably wouldn't have even noticed it at all. He looks up at me, his eyes desperately trying to find something he can use to make up a lie, but in the end there's no use.
I've caught him. And he knows it.
"Yes," he whispers. He looks exhausted, guilty, and also a little like he wants to cross the barrier and kiss me.
Okay, maybe that part's just in my head. I really can't tell. But I do know that hearing me call his name out in the shower last night is what brought him to this point of severe distress. As much as that excites me, though, it also embarrasses me a little. Maybe if it hadn't happened we could have avoided further destruction.
It must read on my face, because Spencer perks a little. "Oh! Y/N, I'm not... I'm not mad or anything. I really didn't mean to overhear and invade your privacy... Really, I-I'm sorry."
The fact that he's apologizing to me right now, rather than acting all grossed out that I even did it in the first place, tells me he either feels guilty for not being able to help himself from hearing me, or he's just a good guy who loves my mom and doesn't want to ruin it because of a little mishap.
Either way, it's frustrating, because I don't know what to do.
Well, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if I should hint at it.
But then he does something. It's small, and no one would have noticed, but I've been fascinated with his hands since the moment I met him, so my eyes are instantly drawn there.
They're clenched so hard, his knuckles are nearly white.
He's nervous.
To ease his mind a bit, I hold off on poking the bear harder (though it's really tempting to see what will happen if I don't) and nod, trying to make myself look as apologetic and small as possible.
"It's okay... I... I won't make it awkward if you won't?"
His shoulders slump, and his body seems to relax. "Y–yeah. Yeah, deal."
He gets up off the bed and blurts one final apology before heading for the door, but that part of me that wants to poke the bear further makes me stand up and follow him.
"Spencer?" I call out.
He freezes and turns to face me, and I don't think he quite expected me to be as close as I am. I have to tilt my head up to look at him, and the angle gives me an added layer of this innocence I'm trying to achieve.
"I'm sorry, too..."
No the fuck I'm not.
Whether he can sense my lie or not, he doesn't show it. But I think he at least knows that I'm pitching my voice a little higher on purpose, and if that doesn't give it away, the way I'm staring at him sure should.
Still, he only nods and retreats.
All there's left to do is see what happens.
JUNE 25th
For someone who agreed not to make things awkward, Spencer sure can't keep his eyes off of me.
To be fair, I have tried to keep things fairly normal. I only really interacted with him if I had to, I kept my distance, and I saved my skimpier clothing for the strangers I was regularly going out to see almost every weekend.
My lustful feelings for him aren't as strong now that I've been getting some on a semi-regular basis and keeping myself occupied. I've been doing my part.
But I still can't shake him entirely.
Whenever he spends the night (which is surprisingly most nights), the occasional wet dream about him gets me frustrated when I know he's just down the hall and sleeping soundly next to my mom. On those days I try to cut as much interaction with him as I can, though it doesn't keep me from seeing the occasional stare he throws my way.
I wish I could say that I hate it.
But I don't, and it increasingly gets worse. It's only been a week, so there's still time, but honestly, I don't think there's any shaking him.
Today especially is one of those days where it's hard not to give into the incessant need to tease him and coax some stronger reaction out of him.
I talked to Mom earlier this morning about getting some new clothes, and she had this brilliant idea to have Spencer take me. "It would be a good chance for you two to bond a little, don't you think?" she insisted, nudging him in the side and silently pleading with her eyes for him to agree.
I could tell from the look on his face that he really wasn't ready to be alone with me again, but that only excited me.
"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," I piped up, positively beaming.
Mom was so excited for us to 'bond' and also that I was gladly inclined to go through with it that Spencer couldn't have said no to her even if he wanted to.
And I was pretty sure he didn't want to.
Yet here we are, sitting in the car, the air conditioning so strong it's blowing some of my hair into my eyes. I think it had been his way of punishing me for choosing today to wear a short skirt, something I usually refrain from nowadays unless I'm going out, and it makes me smile. I can't help it.
I also can't help the way my fingers play with my skirt, dying to tease him some more. I just want to see, to know for sure that I'm driving him mad.
"No offence, but you seem weird today... Is there something wrong?" I ask him, lifting my skirt just a smidge. The air from the car blows the fabric in waves.
"You're acting this way on purpose."
Well, I hadn't been expecting that answer... All this time he'd hardly been confrontative, and now he's full-on calling me out. It's plain to see that he's finally snapped, and I would have felt sorry about it if I didn't find it extremely sexy.
"What do you mean?"
"Y/N..."
My name on his lips is a warning. He's clearly annoyed, exasperated, and I'm loving every second. "Don't act oblivious. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. I don't want to make you hate me or anything, but you have to know where I'm coming from. I was willing to let the shower thing slide... And you said you were too, for that matter, so I don't know what's changed, but it has to stop now. Understood?"
Oh, all I want is to argue with him. I want to point out that none of this is really my fault because he's the one who hasn't been able to stop staring at me all summer so far. I want to tell him that if he wants this to stop he has to make it stop.
But that isn't going to give me any of the answers I'm looking for or further proof of my theory that he wants me just as badly as I want him. And I am not going to fuck this whole situation up by making a poorly-timed move on him.
I have to know for sure.
So, I fold my hands neatly in my lap, sigh, and look dead ahead. "Right... We said no awkwardness. I'm sorry."
Spencer seems to accept my apology and continues down the road.
When we make it to the mall I think he's calmed down. At least, he seems a little more comfortable around me, and honestly I'm okay with it. As much as his spiel in the car turned me on, it also exhausted me to the point of silence.
Even as we walk around each store in the mall, I just lead and he follows, not saying a word when I pick out a top or a pair of pants or whatever else I need. And when it comes time to pay, he takes the basket from me and pays for it with no question.
Near five bags of clothes later, I figure I could get used to this new dynamic.
But then we pass a lingerie store, and I remember that the main thing I'd needed was new underwear. I start to turn into the store, but stop suddenly, pausing awkwardly and deciding to go straight ahead instead.
"You don't want to go in?" Spencer asks.
I shake my head. "No, it's fine. I can just pick some up later, it's not a big deal."
He sighs then, nodding his head towards the sign. "If you need to go in, you can... I'll just wait out here if you're uncomfortable."
I really want to call him out, ask him if he's the one who should be worried about being uncomfortable. But so far this afternoon has been pretty decent, and I really don't want to make things any weirder than they have to be.
Besides... If my theory is right...
"Sure. Thanks. Uh, how am I gonna pay, though?"
"O—Oh... I'll uh... I'll just watch the counter and come in when you need me."
"Orrrr, you could just give it to me?"
This time I get a laugh out of him. "Not a chance. Go in, I'll wait."
I smile at him and hand him the bags to hold onto while I leave, and it fills me with absolute amusement that he'd just given me one more ounce of proof that I'm right.
He's gonna have to come inside and pay for what I bought. He could have just given me the card, and maybe he truly doesn't trust me with it (which I don't know why he wouldn't honestly), but he chose to come inside all the same.
I browse happily then, going through the displays and picking out things I need, but also things I know Spencer will like.
Specifically, I stumble on a pair of lavender panties, embroidered with flowery trim up top. The pattern from the outside is lace, but there's a thin layer of cotton underneath designed to be more comfortable to wear.
I've noticed that he can never seem to look away when I'm wearing anything, really, but it's more intense when I wear one of two things. Florals, and any type of purple. And these fit both of those bills perfectly.
Now there's just one more bill to take care of.
I stride over to the counter and turn around, finding that Spencer's caught my eye immediately. Either he truly had been paying attention to the counter the whole time, or he'd been watching through the glass, following me with his gaze to the best of his abilities. Either way, he blinks a few times and looks like he's gathering the courage to go in before actually taking any steps.
I laugh to myself, eager to gauge his reaction to this next step.
Surprisingly, he holds up well. The air between me, him, and the cashier is obviously awkward, but he doesn't say anything and barely looks at what she rings up. (I say barely because he tries extremely hard not to look at the purple pair I picked out, inadvertently adding another checkmark to my list of proof.) She tells him the total, he hands her the card, and within a minute, everything is in our possession and we're leaving the mall entirely.
I don't think there are any more steps to my plan today once we get in the car and I tell him thank you. (To which he responds a short and simple, Sure thing, and turns the radio on.)
But then there's a note taped to the front door, and it instantly gives me another one.
My Sweethearts,
I got called in on a work emergency and won't be back until 7. I would have called but I figured you were having a nice time and didn't want to interrupt! I'll bring home dinner, and then maybe you can tell me about how your day went. Can't wait to hear it!
XOXO,
Eve/Mom
I check my phone, seeing that it's almost 3.
Perfect.
But I don't want to give myself away too quickly, so I thank Spencer again for taking me out and tell him that I'm going upstairs to make sure everything fits right. He nods and lets me go, though not without lingering eyes. I can feel it.
The smile never leaves my face as I try all my clothes on. Once each article has been fitted, I throw it in a laundry basket and move to the next, until I get to the last piece.
The lavender panties.
As expected, they fit perfectly, and as I look at myself in the mirror I picture what Spencer would look like when he sees me wearing them.
That's right. When.
I throw back on my earlier outfit and grab the basket, acting as bored and normal as possible to find him sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.
"Hey," I greet him, setting the basket in front of me once I reach the bottom of the stairs. "Everything fits good, I just need them washed now. Could you run these down to the laundry room for me? I think I'm gonna make something to snack on before Mom brings dinner."
It doesn't surprise me to see him look at my legs before my face, even if it is brief. I want to smile, but I hold back, watching him nod with a tight smile of his own.
"Sure."
He disappears and then I wait.
One...
Two...
Three.
I sneak as quietly as I can to the laundry room once I hear the washer door open. I hadn't specifically asked him to put them in the washer for me on purpose, and it looks like now he's doing exactly what I thought he might.
My head peeks around the corner, barely in his range of sight as I watch him empty the basket. He takes one item of clothing at a time and throws it in the washer, and halfway through the basket he stops, just to place a pair of my new underwear on the dryer beside him.
My heart races faster the more I wait for him to get to the end of the basket. Once he does, he pauses again, and I think I know exactly what he's looking for.
Still, he sets the basket aside and picks up the stray pair of underwear, a simple black cotton pair that I'd been getting for years, and drapes it over his hands. My thighs instantly clench, and I try so hard to remain where I am so I can see where he takes this.
He takes it straight to hell, apparently, tentatively pulling his dick out of his pants and gripping it firmly. I can barely see since his back is partially turned, but I see enough, and god he's so fucking pretty. My underwear dangle from his left hand while the other works slowly over his erection, a soft sigh falling from his lips.
I fight to let one of my own slip as my hand sinks down the front of my body, past the lavender cotton and lace that I know he just wishes he had right now.
And then, a few seconds later he's already coming, using my brand new underwear to catch each rope of it, and the sight nearly has me on my knees.
And because I want to catch him in the act, I quickly draw my hand away from myself and step into the room, barely giving him time to recover.
"You come fast."
Spencer looks utterly devastated when he turns to see me standing in the entryway to the laundry room, arms crossed and an amused smirk adorning my face.
"Y/N... I—I... I'm so sorry, I didn't... I..."
"Don't worry about it," I say, taking a step towards him and shrugging. "You heard me, and now I heard you... We're even. Besides, I... figured you might be looking for these."
He's still stunned, but he looks down all the same, watching my hands slip under my skirt and glide the lavender panties down my legs. I step out of them and hold the garment up on one finger, a soft smile still on my face.
"I picked 'em out just for you, you know," I tell him, tossing them past his face and into the washer. "I've noticed that you like purple."
This time he's quick to respond. "Y/N, we... We can't... This isn't right."
"Says the man holding my underwear soaked in his cum..."
He looks panicked again, extremely guilty, but if this isn't going to end in a total disaster, then I have to reassure him that I'm okay.
"Spencer, I'm not mad..." I take another step forward, and it feels much like trying to approach a wounded animal. I can see in his eyes and in his posture that this conflict is killing him, so I decide to show some rapport. "And I know... I know this is messy... I love my mom... And I'm sure you care about her a lot... But are we really going to ignore this? We tried that, remember? And now look where we are."
"I..." He swallows, shaking his head and trying to avoid my eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you... I can't..."
My hand finds his arm, and the light touch has him sighing out, an incredulous, breathy laugh escaping him. "Y/N, please... Don't."
"Don't what?" I ask softly, praying he won't turn me away. If he does, we're just back to square one, only the square is jagged, sharper than ever before, and in serious danger of injuring someone.
When he meets my eyes, I see nothing but a desire for something he knows he can't have. "Don't want me."
Now it's my turn to laugh. My knees start to wobble as I go down, keeping my eyes locked onto his, and I swear I see them dilate fully. I scoot in closer, sliding my hand up his leg and finding the words in my heart to finally say out loud.
"It's too late for that..."
My face moves closer, and the hand of his that doesn't currently hold my underwear flies down to gently tug at my hair, keeping me in place.
"If you do this... God, Y/N, I won't be able to stop myself..."
A smirk dances over my lips as I lean in, breath fanning gently over his exposed skin. "Don't."
He swallows. "Don't what?"
"Don't stop yourself."
I barely get the words out before his hand is completely pulling me towards him, and the second my lips press against the silky skin of his hard cock, he loses it completely.
His fingers thread through my hair as I kiss and lick my way softly up to the tip. Once I'm there, I swirl my tongue out and taste the small beads of cum that had remained after he came, a low, satiated hum radiating through my body and making him shiver under my touch.
And then I wrap my lips fully around the head of his dick, and there's no stopping the most beautiful sound I've ever heard come out of his mouth. It's a broken, desperate whisper of my name. The crack in his voice when he says it spurs me forward, and I take him deeper into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat.
That's when he tosses my underwear in the washer and uses both of his hands to grab my head, roughly guiding me along his cock and fully taking control of my actions.
The fire in my belly doesn't ease up, not even once he's decided that he can't take it anymore and pulls me off of him harshly.
And that's only because now he's fully turned over, finally given into these desires that have been plaguing him presumably from the moment we met.
"I want you stripped and in your bed, on your hands and knees within the next five minutes."
I get up off the floor and walk up to him until our bodies are flush, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.
"What are you gonna do to me, Spencer?"
He searches my eyes, and his own grow dark with the purest form of sin I'd ever seen. And when his hands come up over the back of my legs, and under my skirt to grab my ass and pull me even closer to him, I can't help the little mewl that slips past my lips.
He smiles, and if it hadn't been for the grip he held on me, I would have fallen to my knees. "Little girl, when I'm through with you, you'll have to come up with some excuse to your mom about why you can't walk straight... Is that what you want?"
The mention of my mom should send me running in the opposite direction, but his threat only prolongs that fire in my veins and makes me want him even more.
I tilt my head up and press a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Do your worst..."
———
Turns out he was very true to his word.
Sitting at the kitchen table is somewhat of a relief, but I try not to walk around as much when Mom gets home. She'd asked me almost immediately if I was okay, and I told her I was just hungry and needed to eat something.
She seemed to have bought it, rushing to the kitchen to unpack the fast food she'd ordered for us. Over her shoulder, Spencer gave me a sly smile, and it took everything I had within myself not to crumble.
Through bites of food, I only half-listen to Mom telling us about the stuff she had to do at work because most of the words I'm hearing are in my head— A loop of endless dirty talk that plants deep into the soil of my stomach and spreads out through my whole body. It infects me, like the most beautiful poison, and I never want it to stop.
"Tell me, sweetheart, you ever let a man come inside you before?"
His weight on top of me coupled together with the heft of his voice has me whining out in pleasure, each snap forward of his hips over my ass as he pounds into me from behind the most delectable burn I've ever felt.
"Uh huh," I answer happily, twisting my head to feel his cheek against my own. "That night you heard me in the shower... I walked through the door with a stranger's cum soaking my panties... And you know what?"
He grumbles, his hips hitting into me harder as he waits for me to continue.
"I wished it was yours..."
My legs clench together under the table and I take a large gulp of water.
I feel something graze over my bare shin, and I already know it's Spencer's foot, a silent reassurance of his presence and that no matter what, he'll always be here.
"Here's what's going to happen..."
He has me on my back now, my legs hoisted over his shoulders and bent back so I'm nearly folded in half. His hips are flush against mine and I can feel his cock throbbing as he comes into the condom.
"You're gonna make an appointment to make sure you're clean... You're gonna make sure you're on good birth control... And then the next time I fuck this pretty little pussy, you're gonna really know what it feels like to have a man come inside you."
Right... Like I really need a reminder of his presence.
I can practically feel it still inside me, taking up every inch of space my body could provide. And no matter how long I go without seeing him, I have no doubt that it'll always remain.
"But that's enough about me, I'm sorry." Mom's voice shifts and breaks me out of my fantasy. "So, how did your day of bonding go? You have fun?"
Spencer and I share a look, a smile spreading over his lips that makes me smile in turn.
"Yeah, Mom," I say. "It was great."
He nods in kind. "Yeah... We'll definitely have to do it again."
His foot grazing over my leg under the table cements the unwavering smile on my face, as does the way my whole body burns at the memory of him fucking me upstairs only hours before.
I don't even flinch or get sick to my stomach when Mom reaches over and gives Spencer a kiss.
———
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xlbrh · 4 years ago
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Genshin Impact - Small things they do to show their love
notes : so i’ve been trying to think of an idea for a long story to write for one of the characters, but i’ve been having a little bit of trouble :( if anyone has any suggestions i’d love to hear them! hopefully i’ll be able to come out with an introduction or something soon 
in the meantime i wrote this up, so i hope that you guys enjoy!
Genshin Masterlist
warnings : none
format : bulleted, headcanons. fluff
pairings : diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, xiao, albedo, aether x gn! reader
word count : 1426
everything under the cut-
Diluc:
during your nightly walks around mondstadt, he notices how chills can rack your body, especially when the wind blows
he’ll remove his jacket and drape it around your form, no matter how much you may protest
sometimes his arms will circle around your waist, drawing you towards him in an effort toto keep you warm until you get home
if you’ve been out adventuring close to the dawn winery, he’d invite you to the manor to share a meal or drink, whichever you’d like
whatever you desire, he’ll see to it that you receive it – most of the time he wouldn’t even ask you due to how well he can read you and your actions
when you try to refuse his offers, he’ll tell you ‘just let me look after you, my love’  
when you come to visit him in the angel’s share, he always has a seat ready just for you
he’ll keep a blanket and some books under the bar, since he knows how you like to curl up in the corner, engrossed in your reading
if you’d like he’ll come and sit with you for a short while, bringing a drink of your choice over while you tell each other about your day
Kaeya:
kaeya is the kind of man to call you every pet name under the sun
whether it be sweetheart, darling, love etc. he loves to use these types of names for you frequently, as a form of affection
he loves your reactions to them, especially when your cheeks flare up and you turn away out of shyness – he finds it extremely endearing
he would offer to train you in swordsmanship, regardless of whether you can already wield a sword or not
he likes to not only see your strength grow, but also offer you a way to protect yourself since he cannot be with you at all times
kaeya takes pride in the training sessions you have, after all they give him another reason to spend even more time with you
he loves for you guys to have matching things, no matter how small they may be 
for example, he’ll buy you a bracelet to wear, one that matches with one on his own wrist as well
jokingly he once bought you an eyepatch to match his, but he finds it sweet but hilarious when you’ll wear it around him sometimes
Childe:
since this man is a literal walking wallet, he has no problem with spoiling you with gifts
whether that be a necklace you’ve had your eye on, a new shirt because you ripped yours in battle, or a book he knows is the next in the series you enjoy
when asking him why he leaves you so many small gifts, his response is just ‘well, because i love you, of course!’
if you ever get hurt during a battle, he’ll be the first to help you
whether that be taking down the enemies if you haven’t already, or tending to the wounds you’ve received
he’d work with utmost caution, wrapping each wound gently and finishing them off with a kiss on top
when strolling the streets of liyue together, childe ensures that your body is connected to his one way or another at all times
whether that be intertwining your hands together, an arm loosely wrapped around your waist, or stopping to give you a brief peck on the forehead
he has no qualms in showing the public that you’re his – something he makes you well aware of
Zhongli:
he knows you love when he tells you stories of his past and the history of liyue, and he enjoys telling you about them
he finds the childlike wonder in your eyes adorable as he tells you tales of adepti and archons alike
zhongli will try his best to make them as entertaining as possible for you – drawing you in with every word he uttered
he likes to play with your hair, and for you to do the same to him
if you have longer hair you can guarantee he’d be braiding and styling your hair in all different ways, adorning it with hairpins he’d purchase for you
if your hair is on the shorter side then he’d love to run his fingers through, stroking your hair and massaging your scalp until you fall asleep with your head against his chest
if there is anything in particular that you take a big interest in, zhongli will try his best to research around it – even though he probably has the knowledge anyways
he wants to be able to talk to you about things you’re interested in, as well as share in the enjoyment that you get from it
he would leave small notes to you when he can’t always be around you, sometimes with small facts he learned of
Xiao:
he would for sure watch over you if you ever go on a long adventure, no matter what other duties he may have to attend to
expect to see a good few hilichurl and treasure hoarder camps abandoned thanks to his interference
‘anything to ensure your safety’, he thinks
some nights, when his duties have been fulfilled early, he’ll try his hand at preparing a meal for you to share
of course nothing especially fancy! After all he doesn’t have to eat himself – its all for your enjoyment
if he struggles he’d probably reach out to verr goldet some help
just imagine him setting a small picnic up on the wangshu inn rooftop iM WEAK
once xiao finally becomes accustomed to physical contact, he’d make an effort to hold your hand a lot more often
lightly squeezing it or tracing shapes with his thumb every now and again
if you’re lucky he way even take his gloves off – just to feel that warmth from his hand can be very comforting indeed
Albedo:
you’re literally the only person he will listen to when he is engrossed in his experiments
as we know he tends to block out the rest of the world when he is deep in though
but as soon as he hears your voice of concern asking if he’ll take a break to eat, you wanna bet he’ll be leaving his office in an instant to join you for lunch
he does the exact same for you when you’re hard at work, so he appreciates the way you always look after him
when out looking for more specimens to analyse, he stumbles across his fair share of flowers
of course he knows which are your favourites – he knows everything about you, after all – so he’ll be sure to pick some to bring home to you
when giving them to you, he mentions ‘well, they reminded me of you, so i thought you’d like them’
if you ever get ill for some reason, albedo becomes your personal doctor
he’ll spend hours preparing serums and medicines for you to alleviate your pain – but will never let you out of his sight while doing so
he’ll ask noelle if she can fix up some food for you in the meantime, since at every free opportunity he’s sat at your bedside, hand in yours as he whispers words of comfort to you
Aether:
aether is always ready to make you something to eat whenever you’d like!
he for sure has a small section of his brain dedicated to learning of recipes that he knows you enjoy, no matter how simple or complicated they may be
will make sure that you always have some lunch ready to take with you wherever you go, even if it means he had to wake up early and travel halfway across teyvat to bring it to you
he will bring you back numerous treasures from his travels
sometimes he’ll ask the locals in whichever area he’s in if they can craft the raw materials into something that you can treasure
there would be a shelf in your room specifically for aether’s gifts, where he’ll occasionally point to each one and tell you the story of how it made it’s way back to you
he makes sure to let you know how grateful he is to have you by his side
every time you do something for him, no matter how small it may be, he’ll thank you and let you know how much you mean to him
when on his travels he makes sure to write letters and send them home to you – just because he’s far away doesn’t mean he’s not still thinking about you
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago
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If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment
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Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 6,100ish
Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment
A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!
________
“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”
“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”
“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”
“Really?”
“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”
“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.
“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”
“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”
“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”
“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.
“Yeah. You alright?”
“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”
“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”
“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”
“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”
“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”
“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.
“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”
“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.
“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”
“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.
“Twenty years, why?”
“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.
“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.
“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”
“You got that fancy computer though.”
“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”
“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.
“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.
“Debatable.”
“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 
“Are you any good?” he asked.
“No.”
“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”
“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”
“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”
“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”
“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”
“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 
“You okay?” 
“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”
“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”
“No. Why?”
“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”
“That was Dee’s hoodie.”
“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”
“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”
“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.
“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.
“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”
“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”
“This Is Us?” you asked.
“Supernatural?”
“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 
“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”
“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”
“I will Y/N. Promise.”
Friday Night
“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”
Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.
“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.
“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 
“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.
“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”
She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.
“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.
“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.
“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”
“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”
“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”
“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”
“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”
“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”
“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”
“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”
“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”
“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 
“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”
“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”
“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
The Next Night
You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.
He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.
“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.
“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”
He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.
“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.
You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.
“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”
“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.
“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.
“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”
“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”
He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.
“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.
“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”
“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.
“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.
“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”
He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.
“This is fucking awesome,” he said.
“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”
“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”
“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”
“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.
“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”
“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.
“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”
“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”
“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”
“Hm?”
“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.
“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.
“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”
“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”
“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.
“If it’s a problem-“
“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.
“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”
“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.
“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.
“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.
“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”
“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”
“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”
“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.
“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.
“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”
“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.
“Now that’s just sad.”
“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.
“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.
“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“
“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.
“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 
“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“You don’t...talk about her much.”
“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”
“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 
“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”
“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”
“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”
“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”
“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.
“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 
“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.
“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”
“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”
“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”
“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.
“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”
“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”
“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”
“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.
“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”
“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”
“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”
“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”
“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”
“No,” you said.
“No? Why not?”
“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”
You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.
“What?” you snapped at him.
“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”
“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”
“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”
“This is my part of the house.”
“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”
“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”
“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”
“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”
He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.
“What are you doing?” you breathed out.
“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.
“The kids-”
“Not the kids.”
“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 
“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 
He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.
“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”
“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”
“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”
“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.
“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”
“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.
“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”
“Oh.”
“Cause he’s kinda me.”
“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”
“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”
“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.
“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 
He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 
“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”
“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.
“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.
“All of the above.”
“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Good,” you said.
“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”
“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”
“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”
“Normally the best course of action,” you said.
“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”
“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”
“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”
“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”
He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.
You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.
But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 
“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”
“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”
“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”
“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.
“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.
“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”
“Is there any other kind?” you said.
“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”
“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.
“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”
“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.
“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”
“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”
“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.
“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”
“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.
“Are you ready to try this?”
You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.
“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.
“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.
“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 
“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 
“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.
“I hope not,” he said. 
“Do they know? You want to date?”
“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”
“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”
“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.
“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.
“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”
“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Want help?” you asked.
“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 
“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.
“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.
“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”
“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 
“Night Y/N,” she said.
“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 
“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.
“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”
“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”
“Thinking about what?” you asked.
“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”
“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.
“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 
“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”
You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.
“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 4 here!
613 notes · View notes
ladyartemesia · 4 years ago
Text
The Praetor
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◐ PART VI of THE ALPHA ◐
◐ Series Masterlist ◐
◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐
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Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader
Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)
Warnings: sexual content including grinding and marking, some light (and totally consensual) manhandling, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming. Violence and discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries
Special Note: Yoonji and Yunli are NOT the same person. Yoonji is Yoongi and Yunli’s cousin. She is sometimes affectionately called “Ji-ah.”
Word Count: 5500 (wow)
Author’s Note: Life has been really hard. I won’t beat around the bush. It was hard to do anything... but your kind words and support really kept me going. Truly you guys straight up manifested this chapter with your incredible support. As always, my angels @ppersonna​ @xjoonchildx​ @untaemedqueen​ and @underthejoon​ were the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life!
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“Alpha.” 
Namjoon’s voice echoed through the clearing with profound resonance. 
There would be no more fighting. 
There would be no more doubt.
It was a complete surrender, the kind only a true Alpha could compel. 
A frantic whimper suddenly split the air, drawing every eye to you-
 But you saw only him. 
“Untie me,” you pleaded, struggling impatiently against the restraints. 
One of the elders moved to release you, but before she could, Jin produced a knife and cut you free with the kind of terrifying precision expected of a man who was every bit as deadly as he was beautiful. 
Then you were running - and this time, no one could stop you. 
Your body crashed into his and fiery joy shot through you as he pulled you into his arms. 
His scent wrapped around your senses like a warm blanket, covering the fear and pain of the past days in unimaginable relief. 
 “Jimin.”
“I’m here. I have you,” he whispered. 
Your entire frame seemed to shake as you sobbed against his chest. It was as if you could not draw close enough - could not hold tight enough - to be satisfied. Part of you was still terrified that you would wake up and discover that all of this had been a dream...
Then you heard it.
Another set of knees hitting the ground. 
“Alpha.”
Then another-
“Alpha.“
And another 
“Alpha.”
Till the air was filled with hundreds of voices, all speaking the same word.
“Alpha.”
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Namjoon remembered very little of what happened after his surrender...
Just pain. 
His limbs seemed oddly disconnected from the rest of his body. There was blood everywhere (and he was reasonably sure it was his). 
He knew he should feel defeated, broken - ashamed even.
Instead he felt strangely...
Light. 
As if a great weight had lifted from his shoulders. 
The last thing he saw before losing consciousness entirely was Yunli’s tear-stained gaze - still fixed on him - even as the others turned to face their new Alpha. 
He breathed out her name in a quiet, desperate plea as the darkness overtook him. 
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Jimin was only in your arms a few moments before healers and half the elder’s council came rushing forward on all sides. 
You snarled instinctively at the first elder who tried to collect him, but a healer eventually got close enough to reason with you after pointing out that the wound on his shoulder could possibly become infected if left untreated for much longer.
An Alpha’s injuries always took the highest priority, but Jimin directed them all toward Namjoon, brushing away anyone who attempted to tend to him. 
By that point Jin and your mother had found their way to your side and were gently trying to pull you back - even as more elders reached for your mate. 
Everyone was speaking at once - words about preparations and plans and ceremonies - but none of it registered over the waves of frantic adrenaline still pounding through your system. 
You didn’t know what they wanted or why they were so close-
just that they were trying to take him away again. 
No. 
Suddenly a senior elder placed his hand on Jimin’s forearm and your wolf snapped entirely. 
Omegas were known for their speed and as a Luna, yours was unparalleled.
Two council members and a healer went flying into the dirt within the space of a single second as your body instinctively assumed a defensive stance. The remaining elders stumbled back in alarm and your mother fainted dead away forcing Jin to catch her rather inelegantly. 
Your canines began to lengthen as you pressed your back to the Alpha, letting primal rage guide your movements. 
They had tied you up. 
Forced you to watch as he was attacked again and again and again-
An omega would defend their mate to the death and you had spent days knowing he was in danger...
Feeling powerless, feeling paralyzed- 
Your wolf had simply had enough. 
“Luna please-“ the chief elder began cautiously, but you cut him off with warning growl and lunged - fully prepared to end the next person who attempted to separate you from-
Strong arms closed around you, pulling you back to the comforting warmth that enveloped you moments ago.
Jimin. 
“Luna,” he whispered against your skin and you shivered, letting your eyes flutter shut. 
Then you felt it. 
The gentle pressure of the Alpha - your mate - nosing softly at your neck. 
It was a gesture of soothing affection. 
Of gratitude. 
Slowly he turned you in his arms till you were facing him once again. The fire in your blood began to fade as you simply took him in, struck by the sensual beauty of his face and the possessive heat in his gaze. 
“So fierce,” he hummed, tilting his head so you could bury yourself in his scent once more. His hands brushed soothing circles over your back, leaving delicious sparks of pleasure in their wake. 
“I’m safe,” he promised as you nuzzled into him needily. “You can rest now...” 
The pleasant pull of his command wove heavily through your senses. You felt your feet leave the ground as he lifted you fully into his arms...
Then you slipped into a blissful sleep. 
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The healers worked for hours on Namjoon. 
Some betas were blessed with minor healing abilities - a valuable gift stemming from a type of energy transference. He could feel the heat of their hands as they poured themselves - literally - into mending his battered body.  
His ribs were set and wrapped tightly and the swelling and bruising were already beginning to fade due to the assortment of vile tasting herbal concoctions they insisted on ramming down his throat. 
Accelerated healing and potent herbal intervention truly went a long way, but it would take time and rest to restore him fully.
Despite his lingering soreness, Namjoon was finally lucid enough to think for the first time since the fight and there was certainly a wealth of things to think about…
Yet his mind kept going back to that moment-
To her. 
“Kim Namjoon.”
Every hair on his body raised to attention. 
“Alpha-” 
He struggled to pull himself upright, but Jimin placed a hand on his arm to still him. 
“Please,” he spoke softly, “let me sit. I’ve caused you enough trouble for one day.”
A painful chuckle stuttered out of Namjoon and he shook his head. 
“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that? We both know this is entirely my fault.”
Jimin’s eyes dropped in reluctant amusement.. 
“You think rather highly of yourself,” he said with a barely perceptible grin, echoing his words in the chief elder’s chambers a day - a lifetime - ago. “I believe I had something to do with it as well.”
Namjoon laughed and winced immediately. He rubbed gingerly over the binding on his ribs before voicing the question that had plagued him from the moment he awoke. 
“How quickly?” 
The Alpha tilted his head in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“How quickly,” Namjoon grunted, pulling himself to an upright position, “could you have killed me?”
There was a strange sort of acceptance in his eyes, a profound and untainted respect that Jimin was wholly unused to receiving from a man like him. 
It was equal parts humbling and overwhelming. 
“The first hit... a little to the left - at full force -  would have fractured your sternum and penetrated your heart.  You’d have been dead in a matter of minutes.”
Namjoon was silent for a long time. 
“Why did you spare me? ...I challenged you, threatened you, intended to lay claim to your mate which-” he rubbed idly at the back of his neck, “I’m beginning to understand is enough to enrage any man… So why am I still here?”
“Because,” Jimin sighed, “apparently I think very highly of you too, Kim Namjoon.”
“Well… I’m flattered, but I - I still don’t understand… I’ve done nothing but underestimate you. Most wolves would have made an example of me.”
“Oh I intend to make an example of you,” Jimin smiled and Namjoon felt his blood run cold for the briefest instant, “but not in the way you’re thinking.” 
The Alpha’s eyes took on a strangely solemn light. “I have no intention of ruling through fear and violence.”
After a moment, his gaze met Namjoon’s again. 
“You were right… Without your challenge, the pack would never have trusted my leadership. You were the obvious choice to be Alpha and without defeating you decisively, they would always look to you as an alternative.”
Namjoon eyed his collection of injuries sardonically. 
“Something tells me you won’t have that issue now.”
“And I have you to thank for that.”
“So … you spared my life in gratitude?”
“I spared your life because it was well worth sparing. You have always led your clan with honor and dignity. You don’t strike me as someone who enjoys killing, yet you were willing to do so for the good of our people. Such a man is a far better example alive than he is dead.”
Namjoon could not help but be impressed by the younger alpha’s insight and perception. 
Our goddess has chosen well. 
“I am grateful for your mercy, Alpha... Though I’m sure there are some who believe I should have chosen death over the disgrace of defeat.”
Jimin’s jaw clenched. . 
“Defeat is not a disgrace. I have learned some of my greatest lessons from it. Defeat is often a vital stop on the path to victory.”
The elder alpha grinned. 
“I wouldn’t know. This is the first time I’ve lost.”
Jimin laughed and Namjoon’s impish smile suddenly became oddly serious. 
“I want you to know…  You have my loyalty - without question - and not simply because you spared me. It is clear that you were meant to lead.”
A subtle hint of awe crept into his tone as he continued. 
“Honestly… I’ve only ever heard stories of primal alphas. I never thought I’d meet one,” he snorted, “or be foolish enough to fight him.“
Jimin drew back in confusion. 
“I’m not familiar- ...I’ve never heard of a primal alpha.”
“Really?... Well ...I suppose that makes sense. I forgot how often you skipped camp.” He sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position before answering. 
“A primal alpha is goddess-blessed. They cannot be compelled. Their command is powerful enough to compel members of other packs and even non-wolves. It is a rare gift.”
Jimin’s face easily betrayed his shock. 
“I-...That’s-” he shook his head. “Why do you believe I have such a gift?”
“I suppose the first hint should have been your coloring. Silver wolves are never born to mundane destinies... But the real proof is in your eyes.” Namjoon leaned back against the headboard, quietly reliving the moment he discovered the depth of Jimin’s ability. “When you commanded me to yield, your eyes flashed gold. It’s the true sign of a primal alpha... of a king.”
King. 
The word fell heavily between them. 
A human king was a politician, a figurehead whose power became more symbolic as the ages passed. 
But to the wolf nations, a king - an Alpha - was the heart of their pack. A warrior who bore the burden of leadership alongside his Luna. 
The power of a wolf king was quite real. 
The Alpha shifted uncomfortably 
“I never thought I would be a king.”
“And I never thought I wouldn’t be.” His eyes dropped to his hands. “I’m not quite sure what I am anymore.”
“Perhaps I can help with that.”
Namjoon’s gaze met his with cautious curiosity. 
“Oh?”
“You said yourself I skipped Alpha camp every year. I may have been destined to lead, but I won’t pretend that I’m completely prepared for it.”
All at once Namjoon realized why Jimin was there. 
The transfer of power was a long and intricate process that should remain essentially uninterrupted until its completion. 
There could only be one reason the Alpha had come to his bedside. 
He was here to appoint his Praetor. 
A Praetor wielded nearly as much authority as the Alpha. In terms of pack hierarchy, only the Alpha outranked him (or her). The commitment required was immense. Their role encompassed everything from ‘chief advisor’ to ‘the last line of defense.’
Praetor were expected to cut all obligations to their own clan and serve only the Alpha. They were an extension of his authority and vision. It was a lifetime appointment which could be extremely dangerous (depending on the number of territorial disputes one’s pack might be involved in). 
If anything were to happen to the Alpha, a Praetor would assume the responsibility of protecting the Luna and ruling by her side (without any romantic obligations as Praetor often had their own mates) until their death. 
“What about Taehyung?”
Jimin shrugged. 
“What about him? I assure you, he has no interest in this at all.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides, he serves me well as a best friend... A Praetor must be willing to disagree with me from time to time without worrying too much about my feelings. They must be in tune with the needs of the pack. Kim Taehyung is a good man… but he isn’t the right one. Not for this.”
The elder alpha considered his next words carefully. 
“What you’re asking is no small request.”
“True,” Jimin nodded, “but how about this…” he grinned mischievously, “I promise to put in a good word for you with Min Yoongi when he finds out what you’ve done to his little sister.”
“I haven’t done anything to his little sister.”
“Yet.”
Namjoon cleared his throat guiltily. 
“You realize this means we’ll have to talk every single day.”
“It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the good of the pack.”
Namjoon laughed and Jimin smiled back, more sure than ever that he was making the right choice. 
After a moment the Alpha held out his hand in an age old ceremonial gesture and finally voiced the question he had come to ask. 
“Kim Namjoon, will you forsake your place in the clan of your blood to serve your Alpha and your pack as Praetor. Will you protect my blood as your own and fight by my side till the paths of our lives be complete?
Namjoon’s gaze locked with his as their palms met, letting the force of his resolve color each word. 
“I swear it shall be so.” 
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It was well past noon when you stumbled from your bedroom to find Jin spread luxuriously over your kitchen island, popping berries into his mouth like a debauched satyr. 
“I feel very odd…” you yawned, “almost like I-”
“Attacked half the elders council in a fit of horny rage?”
Your jaw dropped. 
“I did no such thing!” A few choice memories began to flood back and your staunch defensive tirade stuttered in shock. “Wait...Did I-”
“You did.”
“I wouldn’t call it horny rage,” you muttered, massaging your temples as you struggled to process your own actions. 
“I don’t know, the whole thing looked very horny to me.”
“Everything looks horny to you.”
Jin grinned but didn’t bother denying it. 
“What do you remember?”
“I remember…” you pulled a water bottle from the fridge and took a long drink before answering,”...Jimin’s victory... People kept trying to take him away and then-”
Heat streaked across the back of your neck as you recalled the press of his lips on your skin.
“Oh...”
You shivered deliciously.  
Jin sighed. “Yes, you were quite the spectacle. Who knows how many throats you would have ripped out if the Alpha had not intervened.”
“Oh goddess,” you moaned, burying your face in your hands. “He probably thinks I’m a lunatic.”
Jin rolled his eyes. 
“I wonder if there is a celestial punishment for smacking the Luna upside the head.”
“Punishable by death - for sure,” you pouted, “and why would you even want to do that?”
“Because you’re an idiot. The man risked his life for you in ritual combat and then carried you home in his arms all the way from the sacred circle like a fairy tale princess.”
“He... he did?”
Your cousin nodded and tossed another berry in his mouth. 
“The whole scene was so disgustingly romantic. I would have swooned if I wasn’t left to haul your mother back. Honestly I think I threw out my back.”  
“And - and the pack?”
“They were free to swoon since they weren’t carrying your mother and most of them did. The man has become a bit of a legend already. Namjoon is one of the strongest alphas in the mountain kingdoms and Park Jimin dispatched him like it was nothing.” He paused to dab berry juice off his absurdly full lips. “I’d be surprised if every pack for a hundred miles hasn’t heard about it by now.”
“How is Namjoon?”
“Alive. He will make a full recovery.”
You sighed in relief. Truly, you had no desire to mate with the Kim alpha, but (despite the grumbling of your bloodthirsty wolf) you never wanted him dead. 
Not to mention the loss of Namjoon would have cast a heavy shade over Jimin’s leadership. He was wise to spare him. 
“Where is he? I want to see him.”
“Namjoon is with the healers-”
“Kim Seokjin,” you bopped him with your now empty water bottle. “I am obviously not talking about Namjoon. Where is my mate?!”
“Calm down, cousin. You’re getting that throat-rippy gleam in your eye again and I’m far too beautiful to go out like that.” 
He reached for another berry. 
“I need to see him.”
You were already marching toward the door when Jin yanked you back. It was always a surprise to see how fast he could move when he wanted to. 
“My dear sweet Luna, you have one murderous rampage and forget all about our tedious traditions. The elders will be drowning him in the preparations and expectations of leadership for at least another ten hours.”
None of Jin’s sensible reminders mattered the least bit to your wolf. She was already suggesting all sorts of reasons you should just march into the council chambers and take him. 
Park Jimin was yours. 
You’ve waited long enough. 
Your hand tightened on the doorknob. 
“He left something for you.”
Kim Seokjin really was a wickedly clever man. He knew exactly which cards to play and exactly when to play them. 
Your heart stuttered wildly in your chest as Jin nodded toward a small box on the table. 
“He sent Taehyung to drop it off not long after the elders dragged him away from your bedside.” 
If you had even an ounce of dignity left, you might have been embarrassed by how quickly you scrambled over to the gift, but you were well past caring about such things when it came to him. 
Your cousin shook his head as you eagerly tore into the wrapping, impatient to discover what he could have possibly-
You gasped. 
There, laying nestled in an ornate wooden box with a lavish blue satin interior, was the most beautiful pair of gloves you had ever seen…
Your fingers reached out to brush the soft white leather, custom stitched with intricately embroidered vines that wound around a beautiful silver wolf. 
“They’re exquisite.”
Jim’s brow furrowed in confusion. 
“They’re not just exquisite, they’re one of a kind.” His fingers traced over the emblem on the box. “This is the mark of the Bangtan Leatherworkers Guild. Every one of their pieces is unique.” 
Your head tilted curiously as Jin began to lift back the satin lining.
“What are you doing?”
“You can only buy their merchandise directly from the shop in Seoul. There’s no way he could have gotten these today.”
“R...Really?”
Jin nodded. 
“I’m about to find out for sure. Each piece produced by the guild comes with a certification. It includes the date of manufacture and the date of sale.”
After a moment he withdrew a small card embossed with gold writing. 
“Well... what does it say?” you pressed impatiently. 
An odd little smile drifted across Jin’s lips as he considered the information in his hands. 
“These gloves were sold to Park Jimin three years ago... a few days before your 17th birthday.” 
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Min Yunli slept for most of the day after Taehyung brought her home. 
The Alpha ordered his second to secure her and see to her safety not long after lifting the Luna into his arms. 
In the end, Tae had to compel her again.
She fought to stay near Namjoon, but he needed medical attention and there was no real reason to allow her any access to the fallen alpha. 
She had no claim on him. 
She was nothing to him. 
Nothing at all. 
When she finally opened her eyes the sun was already dipping low on the horizon and the world around her was dim. 
Aching emptiness sat heavily in her chest. The Change was another six days away which meant the connection between her consciousness and her wolf was not fully solidified…  but she could still feel acidic pain of rejection festering in both halves of her heart. 
Tears fell silently down her cheek as she considered her actions and what the consequences might be. 
Namjoon probably hated her now. She had ruined everything for him. 
An angry growl rumbled up from her stomach. 
Yunli snorted humorously and shrugged off her dirty clothes, throwing on an oversized t-shirt before trudging out to the refrigerator. 
Of all the problems she was facing, hunger was the easiest to fix. 
“Do you normally walk around without pants?” 
She just barely bit back a scream. 
There - sitting on her couch (and looking significantly better than he had the last time she’d seen him) - was Kim Namjoon. 
“How did you get in here?!” Yunli squeaked. 
Namjoon held up a key. 
“Yoongi gave it to me years ago.”
Though I doubt he intended for me to use it like this. 
Her fists clenched and unclenched reflexively at her side. 
“Have you… come to yell at me?” she whispered.
Namjoon didn’t respond right away, he was too distracted by the shapely curve of her legs and the soft glow of her skin under the warmth of the living room lamps. 
Yunli, however, took his silence as confirmation of her worst fears. 
“I’m so sorry...” she trembled, her beautiful eyes glistening poetically with unshed tears. “I don’t - I don’t know what came over me - I know I cost you the fight and I-”
Namjoon felt a chuckle bubble up in chest and winced. 
“Yunli...your screams, however affecting, could not undo the will of the goddess.” He shook his head, “Park Jimin was born to be the Alpha.”  His fingers rubbed idly at his chest. “I’ve never come across anything like his power.”
Her eyes traced over the damage to his body with obvious remorse. 
“Are you ok?” she asked finally. 
He had four cracked ribs, several critical lacerations, a concussion, two sprained elbows, countless contusions, and a split lip. 
“Ah, it’s nothing,” he shrugged, barely suppressing a groan. 
Yunli grinned, helplessly endeared as always. She opened her mouth to ask again why he was here, but he cut her off with a surprisingly curt question. 
“Has Taehyung seen you like this?”
Yunli blinked. Twice. 
“T-Taehyung? Like Kim Taehyung - your cousin?”
“Second cousin,” he growled, “I was told he brought you home.”
“Well. Yes. He did… I’m really grateful to him actually. I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t caught me and calmed me down.”
A loud ringing was building in Namjoon’s ears. 
“Do you have an understanding with him?” he snarled. 
Yunli’s jaw dropped. 
“An understanding? With Yoonji’s Taehyung?!” She snorted. “I don’t have a death wish.”
“What’s Yoonji got to do with this? Isn’t she in Europe?”
“Never mind that. Why would you think Tae and I-”
“Tae?!”
Yunli’s eyes narrowed. 
“What’s going on in that busted up skull of yours, Kim Namjoon?”
Namjoon was off the couch and pressing her against the wall faster than she would have thought possible in his condition. 
“What’s going on is that for the past year you’ve been a real problem for me, Min Yunli.”
Yunli gasped as the muscled lines of his body weighed firmly into her own. Deep curls of pleasure flared up at every contact point. 
Yes. Oh goddess, yes. 
The force of his desire burned hot in the air between them. She had waited years for him to see her like this - to touch her like this...
“I wasn’t supposed to feel anything when you looked at me with your heart in those pretty brown eyes,” he murmured, brushing the tips of his fingers up over her arms till he was cupping her chin. 
Yunli’s wolf keened in delight as she melted helplessly into his embrace. 
It felt good. It felt so so good. 
“I was convinced you were a challenge - a divine temptation put in my path to test my resolve-” his jaw clenched, “or simply an endless source of torment because you wanted me so badly and I could never have you.”
The sound of ripping fabric split the air as Namjoon clawed through the neckline of her t-shirt, baring her pert little breasts to him like an obscene feast. 
“I was supposed to want the Luna,” he growled, squeezing the soft mounds roughly in his palms till she was whining and writhing against him, “-not Min Yoongi’s sweet little sister.”
Her gaze was so open - so trusting. Adoration shone through every inch of her regard and it was intoxicating. 
She was intoxicating. 
His hand slid down to grip her thighs, lifting her body till she was forced to wrap her legs around him for balance. 
“Namjoon,” she whimpered as the sensitive folds of her core ground into his growing hardness. 
“You just kept pushing and pushing-” he hissed, punctuating each word with delicious thrusts till the maddening pressure in her center was nearly unbearable. “Then last night you offered me a taste and it nearly destroyed me.”
His mouth finally descended on hers again and she opened to him eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck with wanton desperation. A tortured groan slipped past his lips as he dragged her away from the wall and onto the sofa where she first discovered him. 
“Is this what you wanted, Min Yunli?” he rasped between the fervent mating of their mouths. “To make me desperate? To take me apart until I’m half-mad with wanting you?”
“Yes,” she sobbed as he sucked mark after mark into her flesh, painting her body with the evidence of his passion.
She slipped her hands greedily under his shirt, aching to feel more of his skin against her own. Needy whines and moans fell from her mouth like a siren’s call, beckoning Namjoon to lose himself in the lush warmth of her body. 
“If Kim Taehyung puts his greasy hands on you again, I’ll kill him.”
Yunli mewled in primal gratification at his bold words. She had waited far too long to hear them. 
“All those months I suffered because my wolf recognized what I was too ignorant to see.” 
The last shreds of her shirt flew across the room and Namjoon pinned her wrists above her head like a pagan offering, allowing his free hand to explore her curves with impassioned reverence. 
“You are mine, Yunli,” he swore. 
And she was. 
She always had been. 
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Following Jimin’s victory, the pack exploded into a chaotic storm of gossip and ceremonial preparations. The story of his unlikely path to power had already spread beyond the borders of the mountain kingdoms. 
“-messages are coming in from the high packs of Delhi and Beijing requesting to meet with him-“
The rise of new pack leaders typically brought with it a buzz of excitement, but the Luna and her newly victorious Alpha were anything but typical. 
“-he’s a silver wolf. I always knew he was meant for more than just heading up the Park clan-“
The last Alpha king (the current Luna’s great-grandfather) died peacefully in his sleep nearly thirty years ago and the elder’s council ruled in the interim while they waited for a new Alpha to rise. This was the first (and likely the only) coronation most people would see in their lifetime. 
“ - my friend from Seoul is begging me to invite her. Outsiders aren’t allowed to attend unless they’re the guest of a pack member- “
Preparations to transfer power were every bit as tedious and time consuming as the rest of pack law. 
“-the council just announced that he’s chosen a Praetor. I’m sure it will be Taehyung-“
Aside from sneaking out to secure his Praetor (who was not Taehyung), the new Alpha had been holed up with the council, the heads of the ten major clans, and an army of envoys from other packs for nearly twelve hours. 
“ -grandfather worked with him all day. He claims that the future king has already impressed the council-”
Park Jimin’s name echoed through the mountain kingdoms. People could speak of nothing else. 
But there was one member of the pack who had not yet heard the news...
Yoongi took a deep breath as he waited for the woman on the other end of the line to accept his call. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but he had promised to tell her what happened as soon as he could.
Silence lingered eerily in the first few moments after she picked up. 
“I really debated answering this,” Min Yoonji whispered at last. “I don’t know if I can bear to hear you say that Park Jimin is dead.”
She sighed heavily as she ambled down the stairs of her tiny apartment in Paris. 
There were too many happy memories connected with him. He was Tae’s best friend... His loss would tear her former lover apart. 
And she could not be there for him when it did. 
She could never be there for him...
Several thousand miles away her cousin smiled. 
“Park Jimin is not dead, Ji-ah.”
Yoonji missed the last step and crashed down inelegantly on her tail bone. 
“WHAT?!” Her fingers scrambled to hold the phone secure in her precarious position. “You mean to tell me that Kim Namjoon lost - to PARK JIMIN?!”
“You sure picked a wild time to move to Europe,” Yoongi chuckled. 
“I didn’t really move here per se... I just relocated temporarily but indefinitely.”
“Yes, I’m well aware. Your mother is still howling about what a disgrace it was to go through the Change away from your friends and family. So thank you for that.”
Yoonji sighed. 
“What’s done is done... I know you don’t understand, but I promise to explain someday.” Her eyes drifted shut as she forced the pain in her heart aside. “... I can’t believe I missed all this. You have to tell me how he did it.”
“I will later, but I need to head back to the council chambers. We had a brief recess and I figured I’d call since it’s still early over there. However… I do have one last shocking revelation for you before I go.”
Yoonji rolled her eyes at her cousin’s dramatics. 
“I’m not sure anything could shock me after finding out that Park Jimin is our new Alpha.”
“Jimin just made Namjoon his Praetor.”
Apparently I was wrong. 
“WHAT!? So wait - that means Jinwook is now head of the Kim Clan?”
Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 
“Jinwook? No, how could - ah never mind. You were already in Europe when he left.”
“Jinwook left?!”
“Yeah, he was finishing up a consultation in Bangkok when he met his mate in one of the packs up there. It's an older pack with almost no alphas so they asked him to stay. He’s lived in Thailand since August.” Yoongi yawned. “Believe it or not Kim Taehyung was just sworn in as the Kim Clan alpha.”
Dead silence met his declaration. For a moment he wondered if the call had been disconnected but then-
“...What... did you just say?” 
Yoonji’s voice had taken on a strange hollow quality that had her cousin frowning into the receiver. 
“I said Taehyung was just sworn in as a Clan alpha.”
“That... no that can’t be right... You’re saying Kim Taehyung - my Taehyung-”
“What do you mean your Taehyung?!”
“- is a Clan alpha?”
“Yoonji. I can’t believe I’m repeating this a third time. Yes. Tae is the new head of the Kim Clan. I watched him take the oath twenty minutes ago and I have to say-”
A heart wrenching sob cut him off abruptly. 
“Oh goddess what have I done,” she gasped. 
Yoongi’s eyes widened in fear and alarm. 
“Ji-ah? What’s wrong?... Ji-ah?... Ji-ah?!”
But the line was dead. 
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Don’t Miss Chapter VII: The Luna… Coming Soon!
If you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment on this post. If you have already asked then you will be automatically tagged in all future updates.
Guys I cannot emphasize enough how much your support has meant to me these last few weeks. 
Your comments and your love kept me going. I truly value it so much and it fuels my creativity. Please let me know what you thought? It is incredibly rewarding and motivating to hear from you!
I really struggled with this update. It was much longer and took a lot out of me... I hope you love the final product as much as I do…
Bonus: The gloves Jimin sent his Luna...
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chasingpj · 3 years ago
Text
𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
“Buen provecho, mijo.”
pairing: leo valdez x gn reader
requested?: yes!
warnings: a little angsty, discussing the death of a parent
category: fluff, one-shot, a slice of life
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts forever. i'm so excited to finally have it posted and i hope you guys like it!
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Leo’s shivering body is engulfed in a soft duvet until the crown of his head. His brown curls sprawled on the stark white cloth are the only evidence of his presence, the sheets swallowing his body so well that it appears to be stacked messily and not holding a groggy Leo.
Despite your protests of wrapping himself up like this, he couldn’t help it. The chills that came with his fever were too much to ignore, which says a lot; Leo’s rarely cold. You’d be able to keep him warm, he considers, and there’s a deep urge to hold your frame against him. With a weak groan, he shifts in the tunnel of sheets.
Stupid Flu.
The last thing he’d want is to get you sick. Having your shared bed all to himself for the past few days as he persists through the discomfort of illness has been lonely. At first, it was a little fun. Getting a break from your occasional kicks and shifts that would wake him up throughout the night was nice, but he began to miss it after a while. Those pesky sleepy habits were worth it as they came with the comfort of your presence, the sweet scent of your body, and the softness of your skin. He ached at the absence of your company even though you were literally in the next room over.
He wondered what you could be doing having that this ache for you isn’t a new occurrence. Just a few minutes ago, he had called your name only to receive a “one second!”
So he waited, and well, it’s been much longer than a second.
As if he summoned you with his thoughts, the creaking of the door hinges catches his attention, drawing a soft hum from Leo’s lips. Feeling too weak to lift his head, he instead tugs down the duvet just enough to reveal his puppy brown eyes that sag with fatigue. “Lee, I have a surprise for you.” The ringing sound of your sweet voice makes his mouth curl up in a smile. Leo furrows his eyebrows, eyes averting from your pretty face as he notices your hands are hiding behind your back. “What is it, cariño?” He croaks, flinching at the dull soreness in his muscles as he pulls himself up to rest against the headboard.
“Close your eyes,” you demand with a giddy tone, and Leo complies with a short laugh. “Don’t peek!” A clinging of metal follows the sounds of pattering footsteps and a giggle of excitement before he receives the okay to open his eyes again.
Through thick eyelashes, he's met with stretched-out arms, presenting a deep blue bowl of soup on your palms. “It’s Caldo de Pollo!” The nostalgic aroma hits his senses the moment you confess what it is. He leans in, getting a better view of chunks of potato, carrots, corn, and chicken that peek through an orange broth. The sight makes his mouth water, and to your surprise, his eyes too.
The dish reminded him so much of his mother. Suddenly, he was a kid again. His small eyes watch Esperanza place a bowl filled to the rim of the familiar dish on the table in front of him.
“Buen provecho, mijo.”
Leo grinned, revealing the gaps of teeth that haven’t grown in yet. "Gracias Mama," he chimed, swinging his stubby legs in his chair. For a second, there is a look of caution across his mother’s face as Leo picks up his spoon and shovels the soup into his mouth. But as it becomes clear that neither the hot liquid nor the sweltering heat of the day bothered him, she relaxes and settles in the chair across from him.
His mother’s eyes filled with adoration, a soft giggle comes from her lips as Leo, too hungry to care, has dampened his shirt in the midst of eating. In his memory, the image of her is hazy, but he can make out the rosy tint on her lips as she smiles at him, her long nose, her silky hair that's usually pulled up in a ponytail, cascading over her shoulders.
The memory is more vivid than any of his dreams. He could make out the glow of the setting sun from the curtains. Under his forearms, he could feel the stickiness of the plastic cover over the table cloth. Every detail of his childhood home was exactly where he remembered it.
One of Leo’s biggest fears is that one day he’d forget his mother’s face, her voice, the little memories he had of her. Already, day by day, the recalling of his mother’s comforting scent becomes weaker. Sometimes, he’d get a whiff of it when he’s on a quest or when he’s alone. He’d like to think that those moments meant that his mother was watching over him, that she truly wasn’t all gone.
Though this soup, the one you’ve presented in your arms, confirmed that the remaining pieces of her existence didn’t solely live in his memory but in everything. She lives in the stars that she was always so fond of. She lives in the Tejano music she used to sing along to when she worked or cleaned. She lived in the running engine of everything he’d ever created. She lives in this soup, the same soup she made him when he was sick or often, to his dismay, in the middle of the summer.
He never needed a moment to freeze in time to remember all that was his mother.
Leo’s eyes glisten with tears. The silence, the bleakness of his expression, made you look down at the soup yourself. You didn’t think your soup looked bad at all, especially not bad enough to bring Leo near tears. You even plated it nicely, garnishing the soup with cilantro and a lime wedge.
"Is it wrong? Bad? I had to look up the recipe, and I-"
"No, no. It's just- it reminds me of my mom." He smiles sadly at you, and you frown, taking a seat beside him on the bed. His expression softens, eyes studying your face. What did he do to get so lucky? "You made this for me?"
You nod. "I thought I should make you soup since you're feeling so sick today." You balance the bottom of the bowl in one hand as the other reaches over, pressing the backside against his forehead. A tsk leaves your lips; the heat radiating off of Leo's forehead was much warmer than usual. "I was looking at soup recipes, and I came across a recipe for Caldo de Pollo. Try it; I think you'll like it!"
Leo reaches over with weak hands, grasping the bowl of soup before bringing it to his chest. He leans in to take in the aromas.
“I didn’t poison it,” you joke. A watery laugh comes from Leo, the vibrations sending a few tears down his cheeks. Your stomach flutters at the sound, but your heart aches at the sight of his tears. You hated seeing him cry. Your thumbs gently wipe away the stray tears on his face as he admires you. “I don’t know. I’ve seen you burn a lot of things in the past couple of years,” he teases. You cross your arms over your chest, not having enough times when you didn’t burn any food to defend yourself so you wave him off.
“Whatever,” you huff playfully. Leo chuckles as he brings the spoon full of broth up to his lips, and you shift in your place. You’re filled with anticipation, hoping that the recipe was authentic enough. “How is it?”
The flavors of the soup are almost the same as his mother’s, and he hums, a soft sigh of satisfaction leaves his lips.
“It’s amazing, mi amor.” The pet name you love rolls off his tongue slow and smooth. You sit up proudly at the praise, taking in Leo’s lovestruck expression. Before you know it, the other leans in for a kiss, and you scrunch your face. A scoff of playful offense leaves Leo’s lips.
“Why would you kiss me?” Leo whines with a cute pout. As much as you want to kiss him, you knew you shouldn't. “You’re sick,” you remind him, and he dramatically sits back against the wall, playing with his spoon.
“Kiss me, and then we can be sick together.” Leo wiggles his eyebrows, trying to convince you with a smile that drops the moment you shake your head.
“No way. Keep your cooties to yourself.” To your surprise, Leo sticks his tongue out at you. The action makes you snort as you rise from the bed. “I won’t kiss you, but I’ll sit and eat with you.” Leo shrugs, the solution is not as satisfying as a kiss, but he’ll settle with spending time with you. With a nod from him, he watches as you disappear past the doorway to get your bowl of soup.
In your absence, he takes a few more sips, the memory of his mother flickering in his mind. There’s a familiar gloominess that lingers at the fact that he will never be able to hug his mom or see her face again but being aware that her presence will always remain brings a sense of closure that Leo didn’t know he needed.
In his darkest hours, there was always a glimmer of hope that kept him moving forward. There was always a feeling that things would get better in time. This dull light, the voice that told him to pick himself back up, perhaps, it was his mother being true to her namesake all along.
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