#listing animals I've never fuckin heard of before

[trans-yllz]

an important thing about me is that I'm not actually smart I'm just really good at google dot com

[static-sulker]

I might maybe possibly be thinking of a modern fantasy apartment AU with the main crew. All of them being stupid ass magical roommates without tadpoles...Just letting them be happy.

Also my Tav is in there because...yeah. His name is Silk and he is such a silly guy ridden with the 'tism. Drow Warlock who sees the good in everything... Such a...A yeah...

Little notes i've been conjuring about this...

Gale and Wyll made a chore chart in the kitchen, with little magnets for each person. Astarion regularly will switch his magnet in the middle of the night just so he doesn't have to do the fucking dishes and EVERYBODY knows besides Gale and Wyll. Wyll is on the fence about it, but Gale wholeheartedly believes when Astarion lies through his teeth about never having done it.

Karlach and Halsin go on grocery runs in the mornings. Karlach goes for the running part, while Halsin comes along for the run as well as to stop Karlach from buying the most horrendous shit. The one time she went alone very early in the houses lifespan, Karlach bought like 3 bags of go-gurt, about 50 dollars worth of cheap booze, and a big piece of raw steak to cook. She burnt said steak. But she's trying now, at least.

The team will take turns every now and then to get Astarion blood from themselves as it gives Astarion a lot more energy then normal settling blood. BUT they do have "blood bags" that they set up in the kitchen fridge whenever they know nobody with the right blood is gonna be available to give him blood if he needs it. They TOTALLY get it by legal means and it TOTALLY doesn't melt Astarions heart that they try so hard to help him.

Silk finds a stray dog in the alleys of their building one day when they went out to work (they do freelance art with their magic for like startups, it's fun). After casting "speak with animals" they find out this dog, Scratch, is waiting for his owner to return. His owner was killed out by some gnoll gang downtown. When they come back from work later in the evening, they find Scratch again, still waiting. Long story short, Silk adopts scratch in their very strict "no pets" rule of an apartment. And don't get me STARTED on the owlbear cub. Lae'zel and Halsin were out, originally to get some spare lightbulbs and tools for the apartment and find the little critter getting chase by some goblins in some backalley parking lot. Lae'zel plans to ignore the thing, but Halsin assists the cub. Once done, they plan to leave, before the cub begins to follow them home. Halsin names the cub "Vauva" and Lae'zel soon becomes SO attached.

They have presentation nights, where everybody makes slideshows about literally anything. Last week, Gale made one about the conflicts of archmages and the idea of apprentices. Karlach then made a tier list on the worst monsters ever documented, Lae'zel helped with that one. Shadowheart made this whole discussion over her favorite and least favorite teas (she fuckin' hates green tea for like no reason). Wyll made one on Baldurs Gate history. Astarion made a smash or pass list of all of the political leaders in Baldurs Gate. Silk made a presentation on the weirdest underdark myths and rumors they have heard on their time above ground. Halsin presented (well more like persuaded) on getting a new herb for their kitchens row of herbs and spices set on the windowsill. They have too many and he got like 5 minutes of stand time before Karlach kicked him off.

Lae'zel hate-cleans when shes mad at somebody in the apartment. Basically, she cleans every room in the entire fucking apartment BESIDES any of said "victims" parts of the house. One time, she got into a fight with Shadowheart and threw all of the dirty laundry she had so carefully put into the laundry room back into her room just all over the fucking place. If shes calm though, the house is normally fairly clean under her and Wyll's watch. It's one of the only things they agree on.

Because every bg3 piece of content I make loops back to bloodweave, I think they would have a little reading time together. Like whenever everybody is settling down for the night and they are up for it, they take this lovely window seat couch/bed thing in Gales room and just take out a good bottle of wine and a book for each of them and just read until late. They originally did this separately, but when the two find themselves both in the living room at 2 in the morning reading, they decide in silent agreement to make it routine. They sometimes read in silence, other times just talking absently about anything. Shadowheart finds out first by coming in to Gales room late one night to return a book he lent to her to find the two both passed out, tucked away in the window, books still in hand before they accidentally passed out. Shadowheart then teases them with photos the morning after.

Karlach and Lae'zel both do these really intense shadowboxing exercises in Karlachs room whenever the two have freetime and enough energy to go through with it. It's a heated bitter rivalry in the eyes of the githyanki, but Karlach just loves a little workout with her friend! Lae'zel does enjoy the workouts, as she doesn't get many options to really let off ALL of her steam, even if she works at a gym as a personal trainer. She is constantly told shes a bit TOO rough with the clients so she has to "tone it down". So it's nice.

Astarion and Shadowheart have girls nights. Like they paint each others nails and watch like twilight together (ironically they get so heated at how wrong they get it. "Just another human writer writing about shit she doesn't get" is used a lot in their rewatches). They also talk about like...their feelings. But it's very sparse and done so by a copious amount of wine (wine with a heavy amount of blood on the side for Astarion). Both of them never got to have moments like this in their childhoods, of just pure calmness and domestic childhood enjoyment, so they make due with what they can.

BY THE HELLS I JUST REALIZED I WROTE THIS MUCH. DAMN OKAY.

[karlyboyyy]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Okay first of all - thank you so much for sending me this ask! I haven't received an ask since like 2018, and I really like answering questions! (are any of y'all old enough to remember Formspring? I loved that shit lmao)

Second of all - this took me forever to think of! I suddenly forgot all pieces of media that I've ever consumed. Plus I wanted to make sure I had a mix of stuff lol

Anyway, here's what I've come up with, in no particular order :)

David Rose | Schitt’s Creek

David Rose is honestly so important to me. When I first started watching Schitt’s Creek, I was just like “oh haha sassy queer man, so funny!” But then as the show progressed, I found myself identifying so much with the character. And then I decided to rewatch the show… four more times over the next few months. Like I just kept going back to it. And eventually I thought “ya know… why do I identify so much with a queer man? I’ve never thought of myself as queer and I’m not a man… so why?” Which led me down the rabbit hole of watching other queer-centric shows and doing a bunch of internet searching of sexuality and gender identity. And I honestly learned so much. Like it’s crazy how much I just assumed about a lot of stuff without ever thinking too deeply about it. And wouldn’t you fuckin know it, I realized I was bisexual. And then the more and more I thought about how I see myself and how I wanted others to see me, I decided that yep, I’m not a man… but I’m also not really too attached to being a woman either. So here we are today, just a big ol’ bisexual nonbinary androgynous blob. All thanks to David Rose!

2. Karasuno VBC | Haikyuu!!

Is this answer cheating? I feel like it’s cheating. But I’ve tried - I’ve reeeally tried - to pick a favorite character from Haikyuu, and I just cannot. So I’ve chosen the entire ‘12-‘13 Karasuno High School Volleyball Club (coaches and managers included!). I just love them each so much for different reasons. Like, Hinata is such a sweetheart and I’m so proud of him by the end of the series! Kageyama is my baby, my sweet grumpy dumb-dumb baby. Sugawara is probably the one I relate to the most, coming off as shy and calm but in reality he’s a little insane. And Asahi! My sweet sensitive Asahi, I love him so much. I could ramble on for days, but I won’t. Just know that I would fight to the death for these fictional characters. 

3. Power | Chainsaw Man

Since I’ve decided that I’d only do one cheat answer, I can’t list the whole Hayakawa family as one character. That said, I’d have to say Power is my favorite of the trio. She’s loud and obnoxious and egotistical and powerful and silly and gross and honestly everything I wish I could be. 

4. Xie Lian | Heaven Official’s Blessing

Xie Lian is so awkward, but he’s low-key hilarious. There’s a moment in chapter 6 of the first novel, where he was worried because he didn’t have any shrines or worshippers dedicated to him in the mortal realm. But then, there’s this excerpt: “And one day, on a whim, he suddenly thought: If no one worships me, I’ll worship myself! None of the heavenly officials knew how to respond to that. Who had ever fucking heard of a god worshipping himself?! To reach such tragic heights, what was the point?! However, Xie Lian was used to receiving nothing but awkward silence the moment he spoke and thought amusing himself could be fun.” Like… that whole ‘fuck it, I’m just gonna do whatever the hell I want’ attitude gives me life. On top of all that, he’s a cheapskate scrap collector, a terrible cook, and has the worst luck. But he’s a total sweetheart, he tries his best at everything he does, he’s always trying to help people, and HELLO he’s got Hua Cheng wrapped around his finger. 

5. Uramichi Omota | Life Lessons With Uramichi-oniisan

My favorite depressy boi. Life Lessons is so freakin funny and way too goddamn relatable. I think I have four different magnets at my desk at work with images / quotes of Uramichi from the show and manga. There's not much else I can say other than he speaks to my soul.

6. Kageyama “Mob” Shigeo | Mob Psycho 100

The goodest boy!! A friend actually recommended Mob Psycho to me, and at first I was a little skeptical. But by the third episode I was hooked. And by season 3, I found myself literally sobbing. Just seeing Mob’s growth throughout the show, and how his kindness impacted so many people around him… it just fills my heart. But also the moment where he almost loses himself to the ???%… just wow. The whole message of that show is so so good and I will literally recommend it to anyone and everyone. 

7. Sasaki Shuumei | Sasaki and Miyano

The sweetest cinnamon roll!! The way he truly loves Miyano is so refreshing. Sure, he has the whole “but he’s a guy…” thought at first. But he gets over that fairly quickly. He just knows that Miyano is cute and he genuinely wants to get to know him. He actively engages with Miyano to try and learn about his interests and hobbies. He reads all the BL Miyano lends him. He gives his honest feedback about each story! He stands up for Miyano’s interests. He confesses to Miyano pretty early on, but recognizes that Miyano may not reciprocate those feelings right away. He continually reassures Miyano that his feelings are strong, but he’s not pushy about it. It’s more like he wants to make sure Miyano doesn’t see his feelings as a passing whim. And when they finally get together, he’s not shy about their relationship. He talks about it to his friends and family. When the two of them start to get more physical, Miyano voices his concern about who’s going to be the “bottom”. And Sasaki’s immediate thought was that he didn’t really care which way they went, he just knew that he wanted it to be with Miyano. And my GOD I loved seeing that. I feel like discussing your sexual preferences with your partner and figuring out what you’re comfortable with doing is SO important, but that aspect of starting a new relationship isn’t portrayed nearly enough in BL stories. It’s usually just one guy being a little nervous about being bottom and the other guy automatically assuming they’re the top, with zero communication. Anyway, I digress. Back to Sasaki. My cinnamon roll. I just love him. 

8. April Ludgate | Parks and Recreation 

Parks and Rec will always be one of my comfort shows. And I first watched it when I was about the same age as April - young enough to not really know what I wanted to do in life and also not really caring about that stuff just yet. I loved her dry sense of humor and her sarcasm. And watching her grow into someone with more confidence in her career and relationships was amazing. Also fun fact, when I interviewed for my first role at my current workplace - which happens to be an Indiana government entity - I was asked why I was interested in government work. And I straight up said that Parks & Rec made it seem interesting lmao. They must have liked that answer, because I’m still there almost 4 years later and have promoted up since then! 

9. Dorothy Zbornak | Golden Girls

I first watched Golden Girls when I was in college, when my roommate was like “I promise you’ll like it, it’s so funny” and I was like bitch… it’s an old show about old ladies. But she was RIGHT. It’s hilarious. And honestly so wholesome. And ICONIC (I mean come on. This show talked about women's sex lives, old women's sex lives at that. And LGBT+ issues. And workplace harassment. And invisible illnesses / disabilities and the struggles of getting your doctor to actually listen to you. All of this in the '80s, no less!) And I feel like most people liked Rose because, duh it’s Betty White. But Dorothy was my jam. She was sarcastic and always annoyed by something (same). But she genuinely cared about her friends. And look. I ain’t gonna lie. That deep, almost raspy voice of hers? Hot. 

10. Jake Peralta | Brooklyn 99

He’s honestly so annoying, but I love him. He gives off this “I’m gonna do the bare minimum and be silly the whole time and STILL get the fuckin’ job done” vibe, and ya know what? He does just that. He’s actually a great detective and problem solver. He just also knows how to have fun. And his relationship with Amy is one of the few straight(-passing) relationships that I honestly love so much. They’re so cute and pure and goofy and relatable. And don’t even get me started on his friendship with Rosa. I mean, he went with her when she wanted to come out as bi to her parents!! Aahhhh!! Lastly, his flannel / hoodie / leather jacket combo? Pure bisexual fashion and I am here for it.

[fal-carrington]

168 hours without you

Pairing: Kamilah x Mc

Disclaimer: Characters belongs to PB

A/N: Mother has arrived bitches

Prompt: Married life was something so new, so strange and wonderfully good, being a wife was something Kamilah would never have imagined she was extremely good at, but when Mia has to travel to a business conference and spend a week away, Kamilah will have to deal with the 168 hours without her wife, can she handle it?

tag list: @made-me-deep-blue @gavryllo @kamilahtopme @nighthuntresskatherine @iam-the-fuckin-queen @whoinvitedalx @thepotatobleh @zerozone-80 @shanuuh @scarlet-letter-a0114​ @soundtrackforlife​ @thecleveridiot09​ @wildsayeed @deereboy97​ @justejuste727​ @ilovekamilahsayeed​ @otakufangirl-12 @sapphics-choices @desireepow-1986

The penthouse, 21:45pm

Leaning against the threshold of the door, Kamilah stood silently watching Mia, with her back to her, patiently packing her suitcase, folding piece after piece and placing them in her Louis Vuitton suitcase.

"So, are you leaving already?" The question came out in a low tone, but enough so Mia could hear it.

"Yup" She answered without turning around, her attention focused on her purse and the items she was going to put in it. "Do you think it would be too much if I put on a sixth dress? I want to keep my options open."

Kamilah shook her head when she heard that, an affectionate smile on her lips.

"In all my business trips, I never considered adding more than two dresses, but you seem to be the exception to the rule."

Mia laughed looking over her shoulder with her greenish eyes, and that bright dimpled smile, which made Kamilah's heart soar with a certain frequency, more than she would like to admit out loud.

"I am aware, Mrs Sayeed." She smiled and went back to what she was doing.

Kamilah crossed her arms and entered the room, seeing Mia going on a business trip to London, leaving her at a crossroads of feelings.

She was proud, incredibly proud that her wife had ascended to such an important position as COO of Raines Corp, even though Adrian was now completely devoted to his position as Senator of New York, he still remained CEO, and the promotion her wife had received was more than deserved.

However, another part of her heart still remained restless, both were married for only 4 months and that was still all too new for her, and seeing her wife travel, and spending a week away negotiating with investidors in London and leaving her in New York alone in their penthouse, made her heart restless more than she would have liked.

"I know you're worried about me" Mia broke the silence, surprising Kamilah before she could say anything. "But it'll be okay, I promise. I won't mess up this opportunity."

Her words left Kamilah surprised in those mere seconds, and Mia saw this, her green eyes carefully watching her wife recover her composure and her usual stoic look.

"I-" Kamilah began to say, but was interrupted by her young wife.

"Telepath, remember? I know you don't like it when someone invade your mind. It's not as if I'm reading your thoughts on purpose, sometimes it gets out of my control." She shrugged.

"What I mean is I know the importance of this trip and the seriousness, and it's an opportunity to show Adrian that he wasn't wrong to give me the COO job, and to show you that I've matured."

A smile escaped Kamilah's lips before she could contain it.

"I know. I see it, every day."

"You know you could go with me." Mia approached Kamilah, a small trace of hope in her eyes.

Kamilah smiled at her words. As much as she wanted to go with her wife, she knew that this was to be her trip, and the success of the negotiation depended exclusively on her, and Kamilah did not want to steal her merit or distract her from her goal. Besides, she still had to keep her company in control too.

"You know my company needs me, even if I am supervising from home, and my garden needs my attention too."

"I knew you'd say that" Mia gave a smug smile that Kamilah knew perfectly well and turned her attention to her bag.

"Okay, I think we're all set." Mia climbed up the zipper of her purse, looking around at all her necessary utensils on the bed. "I think I've got everything I need."

"Dresses"? Check. Heels? Check. Dryer, toothbrush, notebook and everything a modern woman needs to survive on a trip? Check. Joke cards to tell at the meeting? Check."

Kamilah rolled her eyes.

"You're not taking this." She said by approaching and taking the joke cards out of her wife's hands. "That'll stay with me."

"Hey! I got great jokes there." Mia tried to take them back, uselessly.

"Are you seriously considering telling jokes during an important business meeting?" Kamilah arched one of her eyebrows, knowing Mia that was a silly question. Of course she would.

"I don't see a problem with that, it's to relieve more of the weather and tension. I do it when I'm nervous."

"Absolutely not." The Egyptian vampire ripped up the cards and threw them in the bathroom trash.

"Uh... You know I have a copy of these with my assistant, right?" Mia said pointing to the bathroom.

"You're unbelievable." Kamilah rolled her eyes again.

"I prefer the term ‘misunderstood amazing genius’, but we can work with that one too.”

Mia checked her wristwatch.

"Alright, I have to run so I don't catch traffic."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather use the jet? I'm not using it."

"Of course not." Mia took her bags out of bed without the slightest effort and put them on the floor, wearing her overcoat that was on the bed. "It's a business trip for Adrian to make a profit, and besides, I'd much rather travel at the expense of the company and Adrian than yours. It's my way of fighting capitalism."

Kamilah didn't contain her smug smile.

"Do I need to remind you of your salary before we go to argue about capitalism?"

"Nobody's perfect." Mia fired back while finishing the final touches to her makeup.

Kamilah accompanied her with her handbag, while both went down the stairs towards the elevator. Mia left her bags on the elevator floor and took a step towards Kamilah.

"I love you." Mia fired before Kamilah could say anything. "Kind of a lot."

Kamilah laughed a little, smiling affectionately.

"I love you too. Very much." Mia wrapped Kamilah's neck with her arms, standing on tiptoe and giving her a long, warm, deep kiss.

"I'll miss you every day." Mia said. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep without you, I got used to sleeping with you, you know? Because when I hug you when we go to sleep cuddling, your hot ass warms me up during the night. And there's this way that we sleep that you fit in with me, which is so good."

"Was that supposed to be a declaration of love?" Kamilah arched an eyebrow, the humor evident in her face.

"Of course it was." Mia rolled her eyes with a smile on her lips. "I love you, babe." She said leaving kisses on Kamilah's cheek and lips.

"All right, before I go I want to say goodbye to someone else, where is he?" Mia looked over Kamilah's shoulder, looking for that little fuzzy ball.

"Come on, kid." She whistled with her fingers, and seconds later, a little Corgi's puppy appeared in the penthouse living room, with his tongue out, his collar leaping as he ran, stumbling on his own paws trying to get to Mia.

Kamilah watched the scene with her usual stoic look, maybe that dog was the animal personification of her wife, — dumbass, hyperactive, always cheerful and clumsy.

"Who's the good boy? It's you, Dexter. You're mommy's good boy." Mia got down on her knees to welcome him, picking him up on her lap and pouring kisses into his hairy body. Dexter reciprocated her affection by cheerfully wagging his little tail.

Kamilah remembered perfectly the day Mia adopted Dexter.

"Please, please?" Mia followed her through the penthouse, while Kamilah kept busy with some reports from her company that had just arrived. 

"No." Kamilah responded without diverting her attention from her reports.

"Why not? I won't even buy it! We won him. My cousin's dog had puppies and she asked if we'd want one, I don't see why not adopt one. He'll keep us company."

Kamilah sighed, stopping in the hall, turning to look at her wife.

"We live in a penthouse..."

"...Which is very big, by the way."

"The dog will bark and defecate and leave excrement all over the house, and I don't know if you've noticed, but I have objects over 2000 years old in this house, worth millions, which would make me very angry if some animal destroyed them.”

"It could be our son, love."

"When your mother asked us when we'd give her grandchildren, I don't think it crossed her mind that it could be a dog. The answer is no." Kamilah walked down the hall again.

"Don't you love me anymore?!" Mia screamed after her trying to keep up, frowning.

"I love you, even too much. Stop being dramatic, I'm doing this for your own good."

Mia ran in front of her and crossed her arms, staring at the tall vampire, the woman who for many could be the worst nightmare of their lives.

"You want to bet me we'll adopt him?" Mia smiled with conviction. 

Kamilah gave her the smile back.

"Nothing you do will convince me to keep him. I am a woman of my word."

...

"What were you saying?" Mia lifted her face, with a sarcastic smile on her lips, the apparent victoriness before her wife.

Kamilah opened her mouth to answer, still panting. Her chest descending and rising as her breathing returned to normal. Ignoring her wife's words, she took it upon herself to pull up her pants and fasten her belt, then closing the buttons on her shirt.

"I can't believe you convinced me through sex."

"Fucking mind blowing good sex, by the way." Mia laughed leaving a kiss on her right shoulder.

"You can keep the dog, but I don't want him near my plants, my things and my garden, you hear? You're responsible for him," she said standing and leaving the room.

...

"I don't want to be late, I better go." Mia stood and left him on the floor. "Take care of him, okay? His things are in the kitchen. I think you two can keep each other company while I'm gone."

Kamilah rolled her eyes.

"Looks like I don't have much choice." Mia gave her that bright dimpled smile, came up and kissed her.

"Behave yourself while I'm gone." She gave her that look Kamilah knew well, a funny look, but deep down, Kamilah knew about her wife's jealousy, and she had fun knowing that. "I promise I will behave and not cause any confusion."

"As if you could keep that promise." Kamilah laughed, gently kissing her lips.

"Well, at least I can promise to make you proud. I'll make you proud of me, you'll see." Mia got in the elevator and pressed the button.

"Call me when you get to the hotel." Kamilah said, Mia just nodded before the doors closed. "And so there were only two left."

Day 1

The alarm clock next to the bedside began to ring, showing that it was already morning, the CEO passed her hand through her tired eyes, she sighed, her hand stretching out to her right side, finding only the emptiness.

She was not there. But her perfume remained present, as if she had slept through the night next to Kamilah. The Egyptian woman stood under her elbows and lit the lamp beside the bed, turning off the annoying alarm that sounded over her ears. Automatically she looked to her right side, being greeted by just a smiling photo of Mia in a portrait beside the bed.

"It's weird not having you here and waking me up with all that noise you make in the morning." Kamilah laughed at herself with that thought and sat down, looking for her slippers.

As she looked down, she was greeted by Dexter who was nibbling her slippers with his little teeth.

"How you got up here I'll never know." Kamilah sighed and took her slippers and put them on. The dog sat down and looked at her, tilting his head to the side. "Well, good morning to you too."

Kamilah put on her black robe, and left her room going to the bathroom for her morning routine involving a great dozen hair and skincare products. After finishing, she directed her attention to the kitchen after a good breakfast, being followed by Dexter who ran as fast as his little paws allowed.

With the intention of preparing her breakfast, Kamilah turned on the coffee maker and set out to prepare her pancakes. With Mia absent, she knew perfectly well that she would not get her morning coffee made by her wife, she would never admit it, but she had a weakness for the coffee made by Mia.

As soon as she set the table, Dexter's bark caught her eye.

"Are you hungry?" She asked to him. Then, she made sure there was food and water in the bowls, which made him run to her to eat.

Never that she thought she would have a dog, Mia really was a box of surprises, it was amazing how she made Kamilah agree to everything.

Sitting at her usual place at the table, having everything settled and reading the newspaper, her cell phone started vibrating on the table and Kamilah caught him, seeing a picture of Mia on the screen. She smiled unconsciously.

"Hey!"

"Good morning, my love." Kamilah smiled.

"Okay, first of all, hotel rooms on the penthouse are incredible! Ugh, you don't know how I missed sleeping with you. And that wonderful thing you do in my hair, you know what I'm saying?"

"I certainly missed sleeping with you too, and you stealing all the bed space, sleeping on me and stealing all the covers for yourself."

"It's not my fault what my subconscious does and I've apologized!"

Kamilah laughed lovingly.

"How's the trip?"

"It's great, I've been to three stores and yes, I ignored you and bought you a present, even though you said it wasn't necessary."

"You're impossible."

"Just fulfilling my duties as a wife. How are you doing? I bet it sucks to stay in New York without me. Without my coffee, without my good morning kisses, and without me to put my Angry Birds socks on your feet every cold night." Kamilah smiled, feeling her playful tone on the other end of the line.

"...Every time I wake up they're on my feet."

"You're welcome."

Kamilah laughed affectionately.

"Well, since you asked, the house is slightly quiet without you. Just the way I like it."

"Oh, come on. You love my noise." Mia laughed. "So, how's Dexter?"

Kamilah spied over the counter, finding him on the carpet.

"Right now he's in a war against a rubber duck." Kamilah listening to the shrill sound coming from the duck being attacked.

"Aw, send me pictures of him later."

"Absolutely not."

"Is everything okay in there?" Mia asked, worried.

"It's all right, my love. I'm fine, and yes, I'll be fine for the whole week."

"That doesn't mean I won't call you every day just to make sure." Mia replied stubbornly, making Kamilah laugh. "I miss you, a lot. I can't wait to come back and see you."

"I miss you too, love. When you come back maybe we could go to that shady restaurant in the suburbs you love to go to."

"Excuse me, I like my shady restaurant in the suburbs, thank you very much, it was the restaurant I used to go to when I didn't have a dollar in my pocket when I started in New York, I have to stay humble, but OH, HELL YES!". Her excitement was so infectious, Kamilah barely noticed the smile on her face.

The CEO could clearly hear voices in the background behind Mia.

"Who's there with you?"

"Just Tyler and Nathalie, my assistants. They're discussing which of my cards I should use first."

Kamilah rolled her eyes.

"And I told you not to use those cards."

"When will you and Adrian learn that I do the opposite of what I'm told to do? It's in my nature."

“Your brat.”

"I have to go, I have a meeting in a few minutes and I have to finish my paperwork. Good luck with your garden and your reports, sweetheart. I love you." Mia said a few seconds to say goodbye and hang up.

“I love you too.”

Kamilah sighed, a week without Mia would probably be something new, especially knowing that since the wedding they have not separated for a long time, now she would have to spend a week alone, just her in that big apartment, with all her attention on her plants, and with an unexpected company.

[vesuviannights]

Hello Claire, I am trying to write smut, and I blame (thank) you. I've never written it before and I'm feeling kinda unsure about how to go about it. Because you're such an inspiration, I was wondering if you had any advice for a someone just starting out like me. 😅 Thanks so much 😊💖

I accept (welcome) that blame.

I’ve written this post for similar purposes, but it’s focused more on getting comfortable with writing it without squicking out as soon as you start. I can definitely add onto it though, with some specific things that worked for me?

Same with the other post, not everything works for everyone and eventually you’ll spread your sexy wings and probably not use any straight advice anyone has given you - and when that day happens, it’ll be the best feeling in the world.

In the mean time, here’s things that worked for me and some things that I still do now:

Establish your preferred language very early on.

You probably won’t feel comfortable writing about sex if you don’t like the words you’re using, so figure out your preferred word for absolutely everything. Start with the genitals and work your way out from there. Some people prefer cock, others dick, some people stick with a plain old penis. Are you a pussy, sex or cunt person? Do you like breasts or boobs? Come or cum? Asshole, second hole, back hole? Write ‘em down. Play around with them. Say them outloud and roll them around on your tongue and in your head. You might find that you like one specific word for everything, or it might change depending on the mood of the piece you write, or even the character you’re writing.

Don’t be afraid to send the plot packing

Plot? Don’t know him. Get straight into the fucking. Don’t even worry about how they got there or making it believable. You’re here for the practise and to get comfortable with what you’re doing, worry about why your character is dropping to their knees in the back of a masquerade ball later.

Do little bitty baby smuts!

Headcanons! 200 word drabbles!! Two sentence stories!! All so amazing. Good ways of getting an idea out that you might want to use later and, just like above, good ways of being able to write smut without having to think about the nuances of plot, or even how the smut is going to end. Just write tiny little things. Tiny.

Refresh your creative writing techniques!!

This is the teacher in me popping out. We teach creative writing techniques for a reason - they work, even if you don’t realise you’re doing them. Want to create suspense or emphasis? Use truncated sentences ( “She cried out. Tight. So tight.”). Want to create a flow? List adjectives and verbs (“He sighed, moaned, keened as they thrust into him.”).

But also, don’t listen to the rules of the English language? It’s dumb. Start every sentence with ‘and’ if that’s how you want to make it flow. Have a sentence that’s 4 lines long, who’s fucking stopping you? Use repetition over and over and over and over again until your point is across. Use italics and capitals in literally any part of the sentence you want to create emphasis on, “Especially when your characters are talking during sex and you ne-eed them to–AH—be heard!”

Don’t be afraid to mimic

I’ll start off by immediately saying this doesn’t mean directly copying/pasting huge chunks of text and dialogue and calling it your own. What it DOES mean is that it’s okay to see a phrase or line in another smutty piece of work, go “oh I’d like to try that”, and play around with it in your writing. This can be from one line to a whole fic concept. No one is expecting anyone who is learning anything to come up with shit on their own, that isn’t how the world or learning works, people learn by seeing examples, scaffolding, doing and practising.

Hell, use my writing for this. Find a line you love but feel too unsure to write and just throw it in there. Work with it until it fits your work. Change a few of the words around. It’s a skeleton and you’re a god creating the meatsuit. You won’t know exactly what you like until you read or write it, and you can mimic another writer or even porn if you watch it, because what’s the harm?

Write it with whoever you feel comfortable

Depending on what you feel comfortable doing, the people you write smut about will change. I personally (and this is in no way shaming ANYONE) have never been able to write about real people because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and as I’ve grown in my twenties I can’t even really write about non-animated characters who are represented by actors because that also feels weird to me. What I DO feel comfortable writing about, though, is fictional characters who derive from books, comics and video games. So that’s what I do. Don’t write something or someone you don’t feel comfortable writing, you won’t have a good time.

Similarly, this can be extended to POV. If using first person makes it feel like too much of a self-insert for you and you don’t feel comfortable, skip to second person. If you don’t like the idea of writing to specific readers, skip to third person.

Use prompts

If any of you are old enough to remember, and it’s very possible this is still a thing, on Livejournal there used to be a thousand communities that were basically just multi-fandom prompt challenges. One of my faves was 50KinkyWays, which gave you a bingo card of 50 prompts and you just wrote a lil drabble or a huge fic for each using whichever pairing you wanted. And when I started writing smut, this was really helpful for me because it challenged me not to just do the ‘kiss, oral, missionary sex’ situation a thousand times over, and also forced me to research what I was writing about.

Way back when I first started this blog, I used this prompt list to steer what people requested. It was great, and gave me plenty of new material to use as a foundation for the requests.

If that’s too kinky or not your cup of tea, here are some other ones I’ve got saved in my drafts that are pretty fantastic too, ranging from mild smut to super kinky: 

Simple kisses prompt list

NSFW alphabet meme

Simple sentence starters

Mildly steamy sexy sentence starters

NSFW sentence starters - punishment edition

**

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk and I am always so happy to talk about creative writing and how amazing and dumb it is.

Biggest lesson: honestly just disregard anything I have told you that doesn’t work and just fuckin’ go nuts love u boo xx

[purghhappenings]

I'm sorry if this seems random but I've recently been called boring, by people at school and it hurt me so badly, could you please do hcs about the Supernovas of your choice reacting to their s/o being called like that, please?

I wish it were random! I’m sorry that people are so self conscious of themselves they chose you to pick on and no one person is boring because we all can and do such amazing things.

I will definitely do these for you :)

Monkey D. Luffy: He heard several people call you boring, and that’s not his style to let something go like that. He’s gonna be the pirate king and anybody who hangs with him is not boring. He’ll grab your hand and give em all a Zoro worthy glare. Most back off at this because he didn’t become a supernova by just smiling. If they didn’t back off and continued to tease you Nami and you would def give him and the monster trio permission to let all hell loose.Afterwards he would definitely cuddle you and even go as far as to list all the reasons you aren’t boring.

Roronoa Zoro: Zoro wouldn’t be too thrilled to see you down and out about what some scum decided to call you. However in his training Mihawk told him a few different things and somehow two of those things are clashing “pride is never too great, because look where you are now”(in reference to him challenging Mihawk when he was basically a baby and now being trained by the greatest swordsman in the world) also “don’t worry about insignificant words and people” (pretty point blank). But as we all know Zoro doesn’t let people trash talk his crew and that means you. He won’t ask for permission, but he also won’t use his swords. He’ll just kick their ass with his hands and that’ll do the trick.After all is said and teeth are with their proper owners, he’ll ask if you’re okay and how could you not be? seeing your swordsman fuck people up without his swords and then he smiles so sweetly to you.

Trafalgar D. Water Law: most wouldn’t say anyone who hangs out with the Surgeon of death is boring. But Law’s a stickler for plans so that’s maybe how those fuckwads worked out you were boring(you’re not. Luffy likes you) Even Bepo would be ready to square up but Law wouldn’t let any of them. You can’t run with a crazy son of a bitch like Law and not know he likes to play with his prey before he kills them. He’ll ask you what you thinks he should do and no surprise there you say “fuck em up” and if he’s feeling generous(he’s not) he’ll let his crew handle it while he goes over why you’re not boring and other people are just idiots who are jealous. But usually(and by that I mean always) it ends in death for those who dare disrespect Law or any of his crew.After the bloods cleaned and the marines are off their tail, where nobody can see he’ll hug you and ask if you’re alright and well, you can’t be in love with the surgeon of death and be thinned skinned. Plus you’ve got you’re wonderful boyfriend to protect you.

Basil Hawkins: He seems like a pretty laid back guy(I’ll be honest I only know like two things about dude) but nobody disrespects him or his s.o. He’ll lay out his cards and with a creepy smile just look at the offenders dead in the face and not even really tell their future just be like “oh no, death” and you want to point out that is not what the cards said. All of it is already over. He doesn’t like to deal with small fry and he also doesn’t want you in a sour mood.After the blink of an eye and everyone is somehow gone(how the fuck does his power work?!) he’ll playfully tell you with cards “this one says you’re a god and god’s can’t be boring” “this one says that even if people say that I know the truth” and because he is so dependent on cards that he would jokingly say all that you feel better in the end.

X Drake: He may of been a marine, he may be a pirate. But if he knows anything it’s that companionship is a rareity in the grandline for anyone. So he does not take you for granted and truly whenever you are happy he is happy. So when his crew comes and says you’re being bullied well he’s not one to fuck around. He’ll show up and observe for a minute and then walk his ass in there as a motherfucking t-rex and just be like “word? ya’ll wanna fuckin talk shit? well guess what, talk shit gET HIT!” and then he eats them. Plus they were small fry and they shouldn’t even be considered to putting you in a less than pleasant mood.When he un-dinos, he’ll ask if you’re alright and then ask if there were anymore, when you ascertain he’s eaten all the offenders he’ll smile and say “good, now they can’t spread lies” and idk about you but Drake smiling at anything is fuckin grand. Of course he also says “i wish you were boring so I’d know you would stay out of trouble” and well, he can’t really argue that as you hug him. Can he?

Jewelry Bonney: Bonney is known for her love of food but she also loves you almost as much as she loves food and that in itself should show anyone that you don’t fuck with her s.o. She overhears them saying it to you as she’s on her way to bring you a plate of food. You all had been standing all day and you wanted a rest and well, some city scum just couldn’t keep their mouth shut. By the looks of it, they’re all a lot younger than both of you and well she can’t hit children. But it’s fuckin great her power can fix that. She will beat old people up. And she does. When their asses are formerly kicked and hips are broken beyond repair does she turn to you and offer her slice of pizza. “are you hungry?” and she doesn’t need to say anymore cause that was her slice and pizza and nobody thought they’d see the day and live to tell of it that Bonney was sharing her food.

Eustass Kid: (I call him all the time Eustass MOTHER FUCKIN CAPTAIN Kid and I implore everyone to do the same) Kids a fuckin hot head and this is canon. Now lets do some simple math  hot head+sad s/o=deathSo when people start making his s/o sad by calling you boring, well there is only one end result. “Killer hold my s/o until I get back” “Captain no” “captain yes” The fights pretty one sided and its really over before you know it and there were a lot of innocent casualties but trust kid to have sound logic “the other people should have kicked their ass before I found out”And that line is so funny in the midsts of burning buildings and screaming people that you bring him down to kiss his cheek and thank him for his service and for making you feel better.(This confuses him because he did that for himself)

Capone Bege: Now Bege is basically a mafia don and well boring for his s/o would be great because then he doesn’t have to worry, but you’re mostly inside his castle ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).(BOW CHICKA BOW WOW) so he doesn’t ever worry worry. but he let you out at a town and some people thought it in their best interest to call you boring. But it wasn’t for long see it’s super hard to say anything when you’ve got canon ball fire coming at you. Everyone is cleared out and Bege asks if you want them pursued and maimed and of course you say no when he barely broke a sweat and protected you.(Plus you’re really tired of running from marines)

Hey anon I hope you like these and remember no one person is boring. It’s basically genetically impossible and liking anime proves you’re not boring because boring people don’t like anything.  😉 DON’T LET PEOPLE PUT YOU DOWNOne friend said something to me one time and hopefully it’ll help “If you can’t dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit”( i like the saying cause it’s funny) Also I know validation is important for emotional wellbeing but you don’t need anyone’s approval and if you feel you do, you have mine

[werewolfmagic]

So, here's my playlist of my life as it has been so far. I may update it, but this is what every song on it means to me as of what was on it 30 June 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9_zyjXfClT3ymeEbJNz-a3oWHgs_isWM

1. Lalasweet- So, this first area of the playlist is themed to be my foreign songs. This first one I first heard in college at Radford University. I spent a lot of my time in college walking around listening to music. This one means a lot to me because I can still feel myself walking around campus when I hear it. I see myself very clearly walking in front of the gym, heading to my sociology class in the morning with my fruity tea from Starbucks. I felt so calm back then, the pain from high school just evaporated as I listened to this song.

2. PEEP SHOW- So, this song took a lot of effort for me to find after I first heard it in college. It was written in characters and I couldnt for the life of me get it translated so I could find it on YouTube. But hey, here it is. I sang this song and the previous song to myself a lot as I walked around campus. The same image appears in my head whenever I listen to it.

3. Crossing Field- This one is a trip for me. So, Sword Art Online was my first anime way back when in high school. This is the first opening song to it. This song also got me into listening to japanese music! Sword Art still holds a special place in my heart. I actually read nearly all the books that have been published, and I've seen so much of it. Another sword art song is actually later in the playlist, and it captures more of how the anime makes me feel. This song and this anime mean so much to me. A lot of good came from anime for me.

4. Kakumei Dualism- I've never seen what this is from. But, in high school while I had to wait on my dad to pick me up, this was the first song I learned how to sing in Japanese. So, I couldnt ride the bus because people were dicks to me. I wouldnt get a seat, people would push me around and generally be assholes. So I waited in the lobby for my dad to pick me up after work every day. He got off around 5 usually, and school ended around 3:30, so I had time to kill. This song got me into trying to learn Japanese and learning how to sing!

5. Bye Bye Yesterday- Ahhhh this anime omg! The ending made me cry so hard I would highly recommend watching it. I used to listen to all of the songs from it on my way to therapy in college, so I learned how to sing this as I walked the 1 and a half mile walk I believe it was once every week after I got out of the hospital. This song and this anime give me so many good feelings and good memories.

6.Masayume Chasing- Again, great Japanese song from an amazing anime I love! I listened to this in my room a lot after my dad picked me up. I remember crying a lot while this song was on, I felt so isolated and alone. This song was beautiful to me though, and it got me into listening to BoA. I spent so many hours listening to her music in high school and college!

7. RE:make- This band was just epic to listen to. I forgot I ever found them, I just remember like jamming out to their music once I found them, and when I lost spotify premium, I sorta stopped listening to a great band.

8. Bloody Mary: I got into two bands because if Noragami. Helli Sleepwalkers was one. I used to sing Bloody Mary so often I still think I have it memorized. I sang it to myself in high school and in college, it's practically a mantra now. More on Noragami in a bit.

9. Let me hear- This is from another anime, Parasyte. Great anime, but I honestly like the band more than the anime. Two of my closest friends in high school, Rachael and Maria, I showed this song to them. I still remember sitting in Rachael's room with them, showing them this song. More on both of them when we get to some association songs, there's a lot.

10.Wagakkiband- Great band, I discovered them in high school. I actually dont know what my favourite song by them is, I cant read kanji so I could never find it. I just cried a lot to their music in high school. I would turn it up so my dad couldn't hear my cry, and I would just sob for hours.

11. History Maker- I'm not sure why, but this has always been a hopeful more lovey song to me.

12. Everything- This song means a lot to me. I discovered this band through Noragami too, I loved that anime I read so much of the manga too because season 3 still isnt out. The oral cigarettes got me through a lot, and I mean a lot. I've always actually wanted someone to sing this song to. It's a love song, I've memorized it so I can sing with the song. I've always dreamed of one day singing this to someone who means everything to me. If you ever get the chance to translate it, this song defined how I viewed love for a while. I still hope one day i can sing this song to that special someone,I just hope I get the chance to.

13. Anohona- This is a real cry song for me. Whenever I felt worthless, i would listen to this. The anime is a real tearjerker too. The line "Something must be wrong with me" resonates with me to this day. People who love each other drifting apart, and blaming yourself for it. I cried to this song for countless hours, I really feel like it defined me for so long. I'm actually listening to it as I write this and I'm already crying because of it. It just always makes me feel like there truly is something wrong with me.

14. God knows- This is a song like Everything. I really want to sing this for someone who means the world to me one day, I've practiced it so much! I hope one day I get the opportunity to sing this to who I truly love. Honestly, this feels like a song for someone who is struggling. I wish i could sing it to my love when she truly needs it most. Because yeah, "I will follow you, no matter what we go through." If you listen to this song love, please know that I feel it could mean something to you too.

15. Catch the moment- this is the other sword art song. I got to watch the movie this came from with my dad. It's one of the last things we did together before we drifted apart when I came out. We went to a super fancy restaurant that night, i had vietnamese food for the first time, and i watched an amazing movie with my dad. I really treasure that memory, and I always will. More on my dad later on.

16. Bebe- Time to change themes. These songs relate to my music career in highschool. I was in marching band, jazz band, and concert band. I played Alto Sax. I always worked towards playing this song. I got the Jimmy Dorsey Sax guide as a Christmas gift from my aunt. And I used it to get better. I never could make it to this level though. I always worked towards it but I fell short. My best in this song was the first few lines of music with no mistakes.

17. String of Pearls- My sophomore year in high school, I played the sax solo from this. It's the performance I'm most proud of. It took a lot of effort, and I fucked up when I finally did it, but I'm really proud of myself for accomplishing what I did. It made me really happy to get to do this solo.

18. Law and Order- I learned to play this on sax too! I actually wanted to perform it in concert, but I was never allowed to. This show means a lot to me. Growing up, I used to sit with my dad and watch it with him. This was way back in elementary school when we did this, and I have a lot of fond memories of watching this show with him and talking with him. It felt like we never really spent enough time together.

19. Pink Panther- I would say this song is what I'm most proud of learning on my own. I never performed it, but I did show off with it during jazz band. I was so proud of myself when I managed to growl with the song! I feel like I really nailed the style of this song.

20. Your latest trick- This is another solo I'm really proud of teaching myself! I never played it, but damnnnn I fuckin nailed it when I played it.

21. Deacon Blues- I would always suggest this song to my band director for us to play in concert. We never did do it though. I love the solo, and I spent so many hours learning how to play this song and just vibing listening to it.

22. Zoor Suit Riot- This is the song I listened to a lot during band camp one year. Band camp was always an experience, I have a lot of stories from it, but this one hurt me, and this song I associate with that pain. My dog, Jake, he was an Autralian Shepherd. He was attacked by a pit bull. He died while I was at band camp. I knew he was sick before I left, and I wanted to stay with him, but my dad convinced me I should go because if I didnt I wouldnt have been in marching band that year. I regret going. I wish I spent my dog's last day with him. He was the best dog I ever had, I raised him. My family didnt even tell me he died until a month later, they just kept saying he was with my grandfather. I really miss my dog, and this is the song that reminds me I shouldve stayed home with him.

23. Centerfold- This is the song I associate with the good side of marching band! This was a stand tune we played during football games, and I really could like dance and jump around while playing it! It was a super fun experience!

24. Radioactive- Heres the bad side of band. My junior year, there was a solo in this song in marching band. We were allowed to audition for it. I tried so hard to get an audition with my band director. He kept saying to ask him tomorrow during pre camp. I said I could come in early, or I could stay late any day, but he kept blowing it off. He said I could do it first day of band camp. I asked when I got there, he said wait until tomorrow. The next day, he gave away the solo to his favourite person, and nobody even got to audition. He just chose his favourite. That really fucked with me. My senior year of highschool, the band director picked on me a lot too. There were so many problems in band, and he always blamed me. I was yelled at because I told the drum major we had to move because the susophones would run into a car if we didnt. I was yelled at for reporting drug use. I was going to kill myself because what was my life at that point was making me miserable. This is the first time i ever cut, this was the first time i wanted to die and i was going to act on it. Maria saved me, and i quit band. More on maria below. This song just reminds me of how fucked up the whole situation was.

25. Honeybee- This is the first of my people association songs! This one is for Maria, my sister. You aren't the first person I made a list of songs for and got one from love. Maria and I had the idea first. I felt it would help us get closer as sisters! This was when we were house sitting for rachael that we did this. The first time I didnt have nightmares was when we shared a bed and snuggled together. Honeybee was one of her songs. She saved me from band. She saved me from myself. She never really understood my depression, but she always helped. Shes also who I came out to first when I came out as trans. She helped me learn how to pass as a girl, and she accepted me for me. I've always loved talking to her, she'll always be one of the people I'm closest to. Shes family. Emily is too, that's my other sister. I dont have a song for Emily sadly, but she means the world to me too. Hell, if you want to know more about any of what I'm saying or more about these people, just ask me love and I'll tell you everything. You still have my number, and you can always message me on here.

26. Mona Lisa- This is my first of two for Rachael's songs. Rachael is the second person I came out to, and she helped me along with maria. I actually ran away from home on Christmas 3 years ago. My dad's girlfriend started yelling at me and I just ran away. I texted Rachael on Christmas Eve and she came and picked me up on the side of the road. I spent Christmas that year with her family and her. I spent next christmas there too. Rachael has always helped me through a lot. She also never really understood my depression, but shes always been a good friend.

27. Fox on the run- This is Rachael's other song. She used to pick me up every morning and take me to school. We would listen to music and chill together on the car ride, and this was one of the songs. I always treasured my time with her, and I often think back on those car rides.

28.Tattered Banners- This song is for Kris. I played dnd at a shop called Mishap Games while I was in high school. Kris was one of my friends there. One of the times I ran away, she got me. I spent the night at her apartment, and she introduced me to her dad, lastweektonight, and amon amarth. When I came out to her, we traded clothes. I gave her my old boy clothes cause she liked plaid, and she gave me the clothes that were too femme for her, and it's because of her I was able to dress the way I wanted to when I came out in high school. I'll always appreciate her for that.

29. Peace of Mind- These next 4 songs are associated with my dad. This one is a positive song. I would vibe with my dad and listen to his albums when we moved out. My mom cheated on my dad while I was in high school, and I chose to stay with him. He introduced me to so much rock music. Boston was one of my favourite bands of what he showed me. I still listen to them to this day and smile and think of the time I spent with my dad. It will always make me happy knowing he chose to spend so much time with me to make sure I was taking the divorce okay.

30. Paperback writer- my dad introduced me to the Beatles too. This song struck a chord with me because I wanna write books one day lmao. I love so many more of their songs too, i had a saxophone book of their music so i can actually play a lot of Beatles on sax too!

31. Pinball wizard- Yet another good memory with my dad. He got me hooked on music from the British invasion, so the who, the stones, the animals, the kinks, so many good bands he showed me! I love the time we spent together.

32. Cats in the cradle- Heres the negative of my relationship with my dad. I feel like he never really had time for me once he met deana and before the divorce. He spent more time with me when he and my mom split up,but then he just stopped. I really hope I didnt do anything wrong. Dad, if you ever read this, I'm sorry if me resembling my mom ever hurt or anything. I'll always love you dad, please pick up and call me back dad, please? I miss talking to you, I miss my dad. I know you're busy, but please? Just 5 minutes dad, please just call me if you ever see this I miss you. I love you dad. I learned a lot from you dad. I hope I'll make you proud of me, I hope I get to see you one last time before August 14th. It might be my last chance to see you. I love you dad, I hope you're proud of me.

33. Fireflies- This is my Gillian song. She fucked me up for years. She changed me. She wanted me to be her Ashe, and Ashe wasn't me. I didnt want to be Ashe but I loved Gillian. I let her change me as a person so that I could be good enough for her, but all she ever did was block me over and over, and unblock me and insult me. I dont know why I loved her so much but I did. She just tried to change me and I didnt want to change but I did for her. There's still a part of me that struggles to remember who I was before Gillian. I hate Ashe, I hope I never become Ashe ever ever again. I really never want to struggle like that again.

34. Imitation of Life- New theme! Let's talk about periods in my life. This was the song I listened to on an up. It gave me hope surprisingly. It taught me a lot about how to approach life. If you watch the video love, it keeps focusing on different scenes going on in a clusterfuck that is life. It just looks like a normal party at first, but there's so many little stories going on as the camera focuses on different parts. This song taught me theres a lot going on I cant see, and I should approach life assuming I dont know all the details. I need to focus on different parts, and then I'll see all the little things that make life beautiful.

35. Mr. Brightside- This is another up song for me! This song really helped me learn to smile and bear it. Like, this song helped me figure out how to smile again, and that if I smile more, life gets better and better the more I smile. It was just hard sometimes. I still struggle to smile, ya know love? You made me smile again though. You really helped me love!

36. Toxic- Fuck me sideways this song. I never have been in a good relationship, and this song kinda defines that. Everyone I've been with is toxic, and I shouldn't have loved them, but I did. I just was under their control. If any of the people that hurt me read this, I forgive you. You fucked me up, but I cant hold a grudge against anyone.

37. Monster- I truly believe I am a horrible person. A monster. I have never been able to do enough for anyone. I have never been able to make everyone happy. I have never been able to help everyone. I'm a disappointment. I'm a disaster who let's down her friends. I've never done enough for people and i can never go back and fix it. I can never save everyone. I can never help everyone. I wish i could help the world, but i feel incapable of doing that.

38. Kiri- This is another cry song. I spent hours in my room after school just with this blaring and crying my eyes out. I wished someone would save me. You have saved me though, love. You saved me from myself.

39. Bad Day- Lmao this song. Every time I had a shitty day I listened to this. I listened to this song every day for at least a year straight. Every day felt like a shitty day. Every single one. I just wanted to kill myself. I'm surprised I didnt. I still dont understand how I'm alive to this day. I dont know if I'll ever know how I kept going.

40. 11 minutes- This is one of the songs I associate with being ghosted. It feels like it always happened. I would make a friend, then a week later they just left me. I felt like I would always be alone. This was my college ghosting song. I made so many friends in classes, swapped numbers, then just nothing. I never heard from any of them ever again. I really felt worthless.

41. Telephone Line- My high school ghosting song. I had so many people promise me they would stay in touch. The only people from high school that talk to me are Maria and Rachael. Everyone else just doesnt care about me. And I get it. I'm worthless. It just hurts still. One person promised we would get together next summer, then when I texted her she ignored it, and posted not even a week later how happy she was to be back with everyone from high school.

42. In love with a killer- My first of 2 link songs. It's because of him I might go to jail, but more on that below. This song I associate with the abuse from him. He held me down, and cut his name into my back. He threw me on the floor and pissed on me and made me clean it with my tongue. He beat me. He stole my phone and texted people pretending to be me and made what few friends I had hate me. I lost everyone because of him. He just beat me and belittled me. He made me use my area even though I was uncomfortable. He made me give him head on his period, this he posted on his Facebook calling me a sissy. He only referred to me as his f*gg*t or his sissy or his fairy, he never let me have friends, and he cheated on me. He told me he only married me so he could own me. I fell for him though and I dont know why. He always said if I didnt mess up he wouldnt have to hit me and it made sense. If only I was better he wouldnt hit me.

43.Designed to Kill- my second link song. I tried to leave him once before we finally ended things. He had hickies on his neck. Since I tried to escape him, he said those hickies were strangle marks. I never hurt him. Hes a fucking bodybuilder and I cant open a pickle jar. I spent a week in jail and they put me with the men because of my area. Now I'm facing felony charges even though I didnt do anything to him. I was the one being beaten. If I go to jail, I'll be going to one where the guards dont patrol. I'll be killed. I'm so scared hes going to take my life from me.

44. Because of you- This is my rape song. When I was 5 or 6 (I cant remember what age) I was molested by a high school boy named Ryan. I never understood what he did to me and I still cant unpack it emotionally. When I went to college, I was raped in my ass with a toy by a trans guy, and I was raped by a nonbinary girl. When I went to the police, they called me the rapist since a penis cant be raped, it can only rape. Someone I was with threatened to post my nudes online. This song is about all of them, and about link too. This is the song I associate with all the pain I've felt because of it, and the fear I have whenever I walk anywhere alone.

45. Call me- this is my treatment song. When I was in college, I planned to kill myself on December 15th, at 3 am, exactly 3 hours after my birthday. I planned to jump out of the window of the 5th floor of muse hall on radford campus. I told my friend mary one day and she reported me to the police. I was put under EDO and sent to a residential home. There I met some really great friends I have since lost touch with. There was a Wii with just dance there,and this was the song we did most often when we played it. That treatment place was horrible. They held me for so long, promised one on one therapy sessions every day but we never got it, and I started the worst medication. It was supposed to help me with my eating disorder by giving me an appetite. Well, I never felt full. I ate until I puked because of it. But my friends helped me, and eventually I left. I'm not sure if that place really helped me or not, but the people did. After treatment, I spent a month at Rachael's house, then a month at Maria's, then I went back to school and moved dorms. It was after I went here I was raped.

46. Bo peep- fuck this animation just made me laugh. I love creepypasta so much, and the scp foundation. Seeing my fav creepypastas made me laugh so much when I needed it. I discovered this video and song and the next one while i was with link, and this made me smile at least for a bit.

47. Bad end- the other creepypasta song. This one actually inspired a book idea! I really hope I get the chance to finish it one day, but I'm not sure if I ever will. We'll see though, right love?

48. Intergalactic- This song I just really vibed with in college. Honestly this song and the next one are grouped together. I have a hard time thinking of why i like it or what it means to me, but it does mean something to me.

49. Echo- I love this band, they wrote my all time favourite song. This is just another song I felt needed to be on my playlist but there isnt any other reason for it.

50. Drake and Josh- omg this show. I grew up loving this show! It really helped define some of my childhood and listening to this song really makes me smile a lot!

51. Take a hint- Victorious was another of those shows for me. Honestly though I included this for another reason. So, you know I'm trans. This show sorta helped me realize it when I was growing up, but I never came out or rationalized it until I talked to maria my senior year of high school. Fuck, one time growing up I was on a fashion site looking at dresses because I really loved them and thought they were super pretty and I wanted them! My brother saw and told my parents I was looking at porn. I said I was because I was embarrassed I wanted to wear a dress. I remember in kindergarten being jealous of Jaycee for wearing this really pretty purple dress. I remember growing my hair out so maybe a girl would braid my hair randomly like they did to other girls. I remember playing dress up with Samantha in kindergarten and my grandmother walking in on it and I felt so embarrassed for enjoying it. I remember wishing I could he a Disney princess. I remember taking scissors to my area and wishing if I cut it off I would be a girl instead. I remember coming out to my sister and being so afraid she would hate me for it. I felt so ashamed for how I felt. I remember being bullied when I came out. I remember being cornered in the bathroom by a group of guys and they said they would make me inti a real girl. I remember screaming and fighting until a student came in and gave me the opportunity to run. I remember going to prom and leaving in tears as people were getting dared to kiss me. I remember being driven to therapy by my friend's husband. I remember him telling me I should go back to his place cause he knows what's tr*nn**s like me like. I remember being chased to my dorm from dnd one night. I remember everyone who's ever grabbed my ass or my chest. I remember being outed to so many people by a psycho old woman and I couldnt even go pee because of her. I wish life was easier, but so many people hate me because I'm a freak.

52. Cantina- New theme! This is how nerdy I am lmao. I've always loved stuff like star wars and dnd and star trek. Honestly this song hits weird. I remember watching the original trilogy with my dad and loving it. And my best friend, colton, could play this song on clarinet. He, Andrew, and I were really close. I kinda associate this song with them. Their mom died and colton walked in on her body. They moved away and I just felt so useless to them. I could never be there for them the way they needed me, I could never help them.

53. Doctor who- I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCHHHHHH. OMG I GREW UP SO MUCH WITH THIS SHOW. This was my escape in high school. I learned how to play the theme on sax too! I just always resonated with this show and it means so much to me.

54. Moonquest- This is my nerdy theme still, but now with youtubers. I've loved the yogscast all through college. Watching their videos really helped me after I was raped. It helped me take my mind off of things. This song really makes me smile to this day because of what the yogs did for me.

55. Diggy diggy hole- this song did the same for me what moonquest did, but this group is just so important to me. I love their content and they really did help me a lot. I got to escape through their videos.

56. All the way- I grew up watching jacksepticeye, he helped me get through highschool. My Irish accent is because of him too, I still like to try and do an impression. I loved growing up watching his stuff.

57. I'm back, baby-markiplier, omg markiplier. This was my first youtuber. I subbed to him I think when I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I didnt miss a video until I lost internet after I moved to the apartment with my dad. I still watch nearly all of his videos. Hes an escape that I really appreciate. He really helps me every day, and I really wish I could meet him so I could tell him his videos helped save me.

58. Fly like a butterfly- Markiplier also inspired me a lot. He made me believe in myself, and his message really makes me want to be the best I can be. I want to accomplish my dreams, and his videos made me feel like he believed in me. I really hope I can keep striving to be the best I can be. If you've never seen his videos love, I hella recommend them, same to his other channel unus annus.

59. Everybody wants to rule the world- NSP. Ninja Sex Party. Lmao this band. It's a rock comedy group. This song means a lot to me. It felt really inspirational when I heard it. NSP also has a really wholesome message behind them, and I believe in myself because of them too.

60. Party of 3- another amazing song by them. After I was raped, I really escaped into their music. And when I had a rough go of it in high school, I escaped to their music. They've always been a sort of relaxation band for me.

61. Baby, NYC- I actually got to see TWRP, Starbomb. And NSP perform in silver spring Maryland. It was one of the last things my dad and I did together, the other being watch thr sword art movie together. This band just means so much to me. I could've only used one song from them and gotten the same message across, but they're so important I felt like I needed more than one. I hope that makes sense love.

62. Smash- starbomb also means a lot to me. I remember the mornings my dad drove me to school I would listen to them on the way there with him. Their music was always really funny to me too, and I love the games they parodied.

63. Rivers in the desert- time for my nerdy videogame theme! Persona 5 royal is my favourite game of all time. The story is really moving, the characters are really well written (yusuke is bae), and it was just such a great experience to play. If you ever get the chance to play it love, I highly recommend it. Fuck I cried so much while playing it, it just means so much to me it's so good, in my opinion it's the perfect game for me.

64. Fairest one of all- This song I heard from SCGMD4! It's a rhythm game, and I've always wanted to show this song to someone I love.

65. Hollywise- this song is from Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe either 2 or 3. It also means a lot to me. This game series got me into rhythm games, and I spent so many hours on Kongregate just playing games like this. Before steam, this was my gaming website.

66. Cat- minecraft. Oh minecraft. I have so many fond memories of doing a LAN party at a friend's house or just playing modded with my lil friend group in high school. It's such a relaxing game, I can just mine for hours and just chill talking to someone. I love building villages too!

67. Zelda theme- I can play this on sax too! I loved watching the game grumps play the legend of zelda games, and I've always had a soft spot for them. I just kinda grew up with this series.

68. Evil woman- This song I remember from GTA IV. That game got me through some shit too, I honestly loved the story in it and it made me feel really good going through the story. It felt so real in a way. I played through it so many times.

69. Top secret- I watched patrckstatic play Maize. It's a really funny game and it made me laugh so hard! I still think of it whenever I listen to this song.

70. Skyrim theme- I sunk so many hours into skyrim. It felt a little samish after awhile, but it was still a great game!

71. Halo theme- Halo 3 was one of my first ever games after the gamecube. Now, why did I include so many short blurbs from video games? I didnt exactly write paragraphs about these like my previous songs. Well, gaming was and still is how I connect with a lot of people. I made friends in Britain, Lousiana, Portland, New York, I still keep in touch with some people through games, gaming has just always been a social thing for me and I grew up playing video games with friends. This music helps me remember that.

72. Wolf blood- this is my dnd song. In high school, I ran dnd club. I taught so many people how to play! I also went to a store I mentioned earlier, Mishap Games, and I played all day, every Saturday, for about 3 years. I played online and I ran groups. I played in college at radford. Dnd was my escape from life, where i could pretend to be some hero or villain character. I didnt have to be eden, I could just play a game with friends. I felt really good playing with people! If you ever wanna learn how to play love, or play together or anything, definitely let me know! I'd love to share a game I'm in love with with you!

73. Finally, Jump Up, Super Star- This is my favourite song. I've always wanted to show this song to someone and tell them how much I loved them. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who's more important to me than anyone else in the world. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and make them happy. I want to show this song to someone I'll always be there for. I wanted to show this song to someone I wanted to jump up with, without a care, someone I wanted to go on the odyssey of life with! My first ever post was me dancing to this song. This song means the world to me love. I really want you to know I'll always be there for you for as long as I'm alive. You mean the world to me. Come on, jump up in the air. Jump up because you know I'll be there for you. Everything will always be okay. I'm here for you. I know you're going through a rough patch love, but I'm here for you.

EDIT: 74. The Last Unicorn- This is the song from the movie the last unicorn. It's my favourite book of all time, it made me cry so hard! It's an amazing fantasy book that turns some tropes on it's head. It is a fantastic read I would 100% recommend so I dont want to spoil anything it's just amazing.

Now, why did I decide to post all of this today? Well I want you to know more about who I am, and what defines me. I hope I can get some explanations on the songs from your playlist too if you're ever up for it. I just wanted to share with you who I am. And I wanted a record of how I've felt to live on after I'm gone, if I do go away in August. Maybe you'll look back on my playlist and smile and remember me? Maybe Jump up will give you hope like it gives me. Maybe you can smile and jump up and just not have a care in the world. I really hope that songs has some meaning to you like it has for me, love.

Love always,

Eden ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[the-space-case]

Hello, yes, hi, I recently found your art and account and I love what you do. I'm turning 14 in April and I've asked for a drawing pad, but I have no idea how to use one as of yet. Have you got any tips or anything? Because I've wanted to try digital art for a while and your art makes me want to even more lmao. Thanks! - B.A.

BOI OH BOI DO I GOT SOME TIPS FOR U

(I’m not sure what kind of comp you’re going to be using, so I’ll list for both.)

FIRST: Drawing Programs; the free and the great.

-Firealpaca: Lightweight drawing program. I draw Recovery using this! It’s easy on the RAM if you have a weak comp/are paranoid about yours like I am, it is mainly for basic comic making, and has all the basic brushes you need (pen/pencil/airbrush/symmetry/etc). You can add your own brushes as well but they’re p basic settings. Has basic Animation/Gif making as well using Onion Mode! Layout is a piece of cake. Please note that If you leave it open for a week it’ll crash on you, even if you haven’t anything on it at the moment, and sometimes the brush sensitivity just stops working so you just have to close and then open it again. (Also I have no idea how to update it aside from deleting it completely and just downloading the new version from scratch, so thats a thing.) Mac/Windows

-MedibangPaint: This is basically FireAlpaca But Better. Has tons of screen tones, brush patterns, and tools. I don’t use it much because I’m used to FA’s layout and get confused with the the placement of tools in here, so if you can I highly suggest just going with this first. Also has basic animation/gif making! Has storage for the website as well, and you can upload more preset brushes. It’s v anime. This program has waaay more in terms of basically everything, so it just takes more RAM. NBD, you don’t have to have every brush downloaded from the storage ^u^. Mac/Windows

-Clip Studio Paint: Okay this one isn’t free, it’s a pricey one, HOWEVER once a year they take the price way fuckin down by at least 75%. Sign up for the email list and it’ll let you know when that precious day comes. It’s how I got it @u@, around christmastime? This program is basically MedibangPaint On Steroids. I do all of my digital-yet-tradition-style-painting on here! The brushes all have some neat af settings to play with, you can make your own brushes, has tons of screen tones, pre-made panels, and settings. You can save projects as basically anything you need, is a hardy program that almost never crashes, and It’ll take a nice chunk of space on your comp depending on how much memory you have but hey, its worth it. It’s much more complex layout-wise than the other two here, but you get used to it after playing around and watching tutorials haha.

-Mischief: It’s a 25$ app, has like four brushes and five layers only but is vector-based with an endless canvas. Not really worth having unless you like the vector thing. UP TO YOU. I spent forever with this one doing all that homestuck stuff, so it’s not really bad so much as it is a basic bitch. Mac

-MyPaint: I used this a bunch when I still did digital art on my windows laptop before I upgraded to a Mac. It’s easy on the comp and has plenty of brushes and settings. You can also get brush packages if you don’t feel like you have enough that comes with the program! Also has endless canvas; pretty sure you can just select an area and then export as is. I barely remember the rest but It’s pretty great. Windows/MacPorts(which I hate)

-GIMP: I hate this thing. I cannot figure it out for the life of me. It’s got loads of shit though, can handle layers, has plenty of brushes, and can do basic animation/gifs if you ever figure it out. Windows/mac

I’ve heard good things from paint tool SAI and Krita as well, but have never used them myself.

***You can always pay through the nose/use a student discount for the photoshop series and pay that shit monthly, those fuckers have literally everything, but I am a cheap college kid making minimum wage with a car payment; I’d rather just pay once/not at all.

TABLETS: treat that shit like a newborn babe 24/7

-I have literally only ever owned a Wacom Intuos4. It has lasted me six years, and at least five moves across many miles. I broke one of the cord ports the day I opened it by holding it wrong, have one left, and now treat it like it’s going to die if the cord moves badly. Please be aware that if you break both ports, you better either sodder it back together yourself or upgrade to smth else because it costs about as much as the tablet itself was bought at to be fixed. Good news, though, it comes with at least six extra pen nibs, has programable buttons on the side (that I have never bothered to use) and a scroll bar in case you’re too lazy to use the keyboard (…I don’t really use that either unless I’m just scrolling through tumblr LMFAO).

-I would die for a Cintiq.

HOT TIPS: its useful.

-most of the programs listed use the same keyboard shortcuts. MEMORIZE THEM. It’s pretty easy, since you’ll use em a lot. [cntrl/cmmd+T] lets you resize what you just drew on that layer, and [cntrl/cmmd+z] is undo. I use those the most, for obvious reasons.

-vector-based programs are pretty great because when you resize an image it looks prefect. You can’t do that with a program that isn’t, so I just resize the base roughdraft and draw the lineart again on the layer above so I don’t get weird JPEG quality lines.

-You can use a ruler with your tablet, just slap it on and go, but honestly most programs have settings for that. just use those.

-You can also trace stuff on your tablet, so long as the paper isn’t too thick. I just scan/take a photo and then open it up in the program, though. much easier.

-SAVE CONSTANTLY. Art programs like to crash on you, even when they’re hardy and you have a good comp. make it a habit to quick save your work.

-Use a desk and have good posture. You’ll be able to draw a hell of a lot longer if you do. I personally keep fucking up my knees by sitting on my legs as I work out of habit, and don’t actually have a desk chair. Keep your screen at eye level and at a fair distance to prevent eyestrain and also neck-strain haha

-Chances are you won’t be used to the tablet right away. Most places you buy from say it’ll take a couple of months to get used to how weird it is to draw while not looking at your own hand, so don’t be frustrated If your drawings look a bit off at first.

-if you draw at least one thing every day, by the end of the year you’ll have improved exponentially. I literally made this blog to make myself draw once a day.

-don’t be afraid to check out speedpaints and tutorials. It’s always good to get more familiar with the program you’re using and new techniques previously unconsidered.

-get familiar with clipping layers. They are insanely useful; you clip one layer to the one below and then when you draw it only shows up on the drawing of that layer below. Shit is a godsend if you’re bad at coloring in the lines/lazy. The bucket tool is also really useful, and you can adjust the expansion by pixel so you don’t miss anything between the lines.

-experiment with your brushes, shit be fun af

-warmup your wrists before and after drawing. prevent swollen veins and such. dont want hand pain/numbness, its reaaaaally bad.

—basically if your hands hurt stop for the day.

-PNGS are for internet, JPEGS are for printing/fucking with quality (cough hack homestuck)

-resolution doesn’t have to be much more than 350 dpi if its just going to be on a webpage. Maximize that shit if you’re going to be printing, though. Especially if you put stuff on redbubble.

-DeviantArt has this thing called Sta.sh where you can dump art, keep it in perfect quality and just share it with certain people with a link instead of all of the website. Great for storing commission pieces, its the only reason I have DA in the first place.

-you get a different audience depending on what site you use for posting art, so keep that in mind for the kind of feedback you want.

-after awhile of drawing using a tablet, you may lose patience/forget that in traditional art there isn’t an undo button lmfao It’s cool; you don’t have to choose one over the other or anything.

-Honestly you can work around almost anything. You just invent new ways and techniques for yourself and you’ll do just fine.

Aaaaand that’s all I got for today! Thanks for sticking around