#listening to audiobook makes it very difficult

[wyndlerunner]

Murderbot and Peri

Sitting in the Feed,

C-O-D-I-N-G!

Ask the comms

For a data package,

Here comes Killware

Sent for max damage

First comes a file,

Sent with a ping

Then comes Killware

On a data string!

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[thehmn]

I was talking with my housemate about how to be more physically active if you’re not used to it at all because everywhere you’re told to start a training routine where you push yourself a little every day, and while that may seem easy for some people it can be really fucking daunting if you start from zero.

As someone who comes from a very physically active family that doesn’t exercise just for the sake of exercising but do things like walk to the grocery store and bike to work, here’s my advice that has always worked for me:

Go super duper easy on yourself.

If you want to walk more start by walking for 3 or 5 minutes. The shortest possible walk you feel you’re capable of. A trip around the block or across the yard. You don’t need to sweat or get your blood pumping. Just a short stroll. The hardest part is to convince yourself to set aside 5 minutes every day to go on this short walk but nothing else about it should be hard. Do it every day and one day you’ll realize that you don’t want to go home just yet. It’s very important that you don’t think “I want to pressure myself to walk further” but rather “I haven’t spent all my walking energy yet. I have more walk in me” and only then do you lengthen the walk. I repeat, at no point should it be exhausting or difficult because even when it feels easy your body will be building muscle and stamina and it will eventually feel too easy and you’ll naturally want to crank it back up to easy again.

If you’re not used to being physically active it might not make a ton of sense when I say that you’ll have more walking energy left but trust me, you’ll get it when you get there.

I grew up with going on evening walks with my parents and passed that on to other housemates who didn’t get it at first but are now going on walks long after they moved somewhere else. Because once you get the hang of it you’ll realize how calming it is on the brain to move the body even if the body isn’t exhausted afterwards.

And it of course helps to entertain yourself especially in the beginning. My housemate started out listening to audiobooks and podcasts but eventually realized Pokémon Go was the best motivator. Whatever you feel like you want to do on your 5 minute easy stroll.

[vandijkwrites]

sorry if you've already answered this 700 times, in which case totally feel free to ignore. but how do you lengthen your attention span? is it as simple as watching/reading progressively longer things?

First of, I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to help as much as I can! There are a lot of great articles, books, and podcasts on the topic if you want any further info.

The most important thing to realize is why are attention spans are getting worse:

Information overload and distractions make it difficult to focus. (Ex. social media and text notification going off while you are doing other tasks)

Intentional multitasking gets your brain used to doing more than one thing at once so it becomes very difficult to make it do only one thing (Ex. having the tv on in the background while doing other tasks)

Consuming a lot of media focused on having minimal downtime and immediate gratification decreases our patience and ability to do slower tasks (Ex. watching a lot of action packed movies and short TikToks)

Getting constant small hits of dopamine from social media decreases our ability to do tasks that don't give us dopamine hits (Ex. getting likes from a post or messages from friends)

The solutions to most of these come down to two things: (1) Do only one thing at a time (2) Limit distractions from that task (3) Reduce immediate gratification

So some example of ways to do that would be:

Read a book without your phone being on hand to distract you.

Watch TV without multitasking.

Reduce time on social media, especially social media focused on short videos.

Spend a day or part of a day without technology.

Spend time with friends without looking at your phone.

Watch slow-form content like unedited lecture or panel videos where people are just speaking at their normal pace without cutting pauses.

Listen to music albums all the way through instead of shuffling and skipping.

Eat meals without multitasking (ie mindful eating)

Make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a park bench or by the window and watch some birds.

People-watch at the coffee shop.

Write long emails or letters to friends and family instead of short texts.

Call and have a conversation with a loved one without multitasking.

Meditate.

Take a walk and enjoy nature.

Don't scroll through your phone while waiting in a line.

Read long posts when you come across them on your dashboard.

Have an ebook on your phone to read whenever you would normally scroll through social media.

Don't go on your phone/online for a certain amount of time before bed.

If you are having trouble doing these things, try to do one tasks but increase the stimuli of that task. For example, read a book while listening to the audiobook at the same time. Or listen to music while watching a lyric video. These are great baby steps!

Another great baby step is (like you said in your question) doing things for progressively longer amounts of time! Set a timer for a certain number of minutes and then read without distraction for that amount of time. That way it won't feel like it is never ending and you can track your progress.

Obviously not all of these will be for everyone and some of these are too hard for people with ADHD or serious attention issues, but they are a good place to start!

I hope that helps 💕

[elsecrytt]

so i had a thought.

what if 236 is actually jujutsu tech propaganda?

mei mei is broadcasting this entire thing, right? what better way to protect gojo from bounty hunters etc., than convince the entire world that he's already dead?

the final battle happened offscreen, with significantly less fanfare. gojo rescued megumi, defeated sukuna. the day was saved.

at a cost.

gojo gave up everything - at least, everything he valued. the six eyes, his abilities as a sorcerer. he assumed that would make him a normal man, and he was right -

what he didn't realize was that it would also make him blind.

so now... you live in a nice apartment complex. a guy moves in next to you.

you can't help but notice he happens to be blind - at least, he's wearing a blindfold, uses a cane, but he's often swearing and stumbling through his porch, over his entryway. he is very, very blind.

you, wondering what the fuck up is with your obviously blind neighbor who seems to have no sense of self-preservation.

he walks into objects all the time, especially hitting his head on things, since he's so tall. forgets his cane when going out. the dude just left his door open the other day, like, WIDE OPEN, who DOES that?

helping gojo learn, not only how to be human, but how to be disabled. how to not be disgusted with being disabled.

gojo learning that being blind isn't the end of his life, nor the end of his happiness - life is still worth living, even without one of his senses.

helping gojo mourn his lost sense while still finding things to enjoy. gojo who learns to cook by taste, by feeling heat or texture, with your help. gojo learning to organize things so he always knows where they are from memory.

bringing gojo audiobook versions of your favorite stories even if he teases you for your taste. he listens to them when he has nothing to do, which is most of the time, now.

he goes out on walks all the time because he doesn't have a job, you learn. while it's nice to not have to work, you can tell he comes from money, his life comes with a gaping hole inside it, one that isn't entirely explained by the blindness.

gojo who's overstimulated all the time because he no longer has infinity as a barrier, but somehow also as touch-starved as ever, alone in a foreign country away from all his students and colleagues.

gojo, who has only ever done Big Things with his life, who has only ever been an Important Person doing world changing things, now, just an ordinary guy.

he barely cares what happens to himself now. it's not that he wants to die, or anything. it's just that he doesn't have a reason to live.

and that wouldn't change overnight. not with cooking lessons or audiobooks or friendly greetings whenever you see him by the door. not with smiles or waves (he can't see them) or a braille rubik's cube you find online (how did he solve it in under a minute??) or karaoke (he has an AMAZING singing voice, and he knows so many songs better than you do?).

it wouldn't change overnight, because nothing worthwhile forms in a day, or two, or even a week or a month.

but gojo's life doesn't have to be amazing a day after he's gone blind. or a week. or a month. it's okay if it's difficult, he learns, it's okay if he hates it, hates himself, hates every choice that brought him here, even if he would never take it back.

it's okay. it gets better. with you there? it's getting better.

[keydekyie]

📖 Hey, Piss on the Poor site! I have a Poll for you about Reading! 📚

I just finished listening to Sold a Story, and it's made me curious about the relationship between loving to read and reading fluency. So I have a poll here for you.

Please make sure to check the descriptions of each method before voting. Also, by "reading" I do mean literally reading text, not listening to audiobooks. Audiobooks are perfectly valid ways of enjoying books, but they're not what we're talking about here.

*Phonics: decoding words by sounding out each letter phonetically. Involves starting readers on very short, easy words such as "cat" "dog" "bat" etc, then slowly progresses and introduces more difficult sounds and words later. Takes multiple years to get readers to a point where they are able to decipher whole sentences or more complex text.

**Whole Language Method (sometimes includes the "3 cueing" model): memorizing the appearance of words rather than sounding them out, and decoding unknown words by guessing through clues, such as syntax, the first letter, or context. This method specifically avoids phonics, and often starts early with more difficult words such as "though" "cough" or "dolphin" in an attempt to get readers reading more difficult text as quickly as possible.

***Balanced Literacy Method: The whole language method, but with the addition of phonics. Still usually focuses on whole language learning and is functionally very similar.

Please reblog this poll after voting so it can get as many responses as possible! Thanks!

[librarycards]

do you have any tips for making reading more accessible for people with attention / focus issues and low energy? i feel like whenever i try to read, i'm missing huge chunks of information or otherwise not reading as closely as i would like due to having adhd, and it discourages me from reading entirely.

ty for the question! I've addressed this in some ways here and here, but i'm also listing some quick bullet points for both pleasure / leisure reading and for more intentional reading (it's important to have both in your life!)

intentional reading: citation managers, esp. Zotero, are your friend. Read slowly and annotate. annotation forces your brain to get out of skim-mode and really think about what you need to remember from a given passage! it's best to do this when you're not on a deadline, because you can take all of the time you need.

intentional reading: for many people, print is the only way they can read intentionally, as digital is too distracting. try printing readings or using only paper books, and get physical with them - colored highlighters and pens, post it notes, etc. physical engagement helps a lot! write in your books!

intentional reading and leisure reading: if you're worried about not retaining information, try doing a quick mental summary after every x number of pages, or every chapter, etc. like, okay, if your friend asked "what happened in chapter 3" what would you say? I do this all the time, especially when i'm reading more intricately plotted scifi/fantasy with lots of unfamiliar words/names, as i get confused. if it's a very popular book with existing summaries, you can also read a chapter summary after finishing a chapter and make connections/go back to places you didn't understand. this is the best use of sparknotes and similar services, imo.

for leisure reading: you're reading for fun, so make your environment as comfy as possible. do you have a drink or snack with you? do you have your annotation materials close? make reading as convenient as possible so that you don't have to interrupt your time.

if you're busy or work with your hands, try an audiobook! you can speed it up or slow it down, depending on your brain's processing speed. [i listen to mine on 2x speed (narrator accent permitting) bc i'm a maniac.]. for a lot of people, stimming while reading helps them stay focused, so if you stim by knitting/doing something with both hands, audio might be for you.

for leisure and intentional reading, especially if the book is very difficult, you can try listening to an audiobook while reading a physical copy! if you're in college and have accommodations, you might be able to get audio copies of otherwise unavailable books through disability services.

lastly, for leisure reading: don't be afraid to start basic. there's kind of a novella boom happening right now, and a lot of books below 200 pages getting the recognition they deserve (if people want, i can make a recs post for short books?). if you can read ten pages a day, you can finish a 200 page book in less than 3 weeks, which is a lot more encouraging than picking up a 600 page tome. if you want to start smaller, try 5 pages! some people assume that they need to read a ton immediately, but what matters is that you're enjoying it and getting something from it. Quality >>>>> quantity.

Let me know if this is helpful/if you have any other questions! Good luck and happy reading :)

[damonblack966]

How To Master Witchcraft Even Having Little Spare Time

When Life Makes Practicing Witchcraft Difficult

Are you finding it hard to make time for your daily magical practice? Do you feel overwhelmed by all the other obligations of life, and have no idea how to fit one more thing into your already crammed schedule? You’re not alone! This is one of the most common things that I hear when I chat online, what’s stopping them from really pursuing the craft. It always comes down to too many responsibilities and too little time.

The truth is that the flashy witchcraft practices you see online are often staged, exaggerated, or even entirely made up. Comparing yourself and your practice to what you see other people doing online simply isn’t reasonable. Why would a mom of three who also works full time have a witchcraft practice that looks the same as a university student on TikTok who has no job and very few responsibilities? The answer is, she wouldn’t! That would be insane!

The thing that is actually causing such a major block in your ability to practice witchcraft isn’t a lack of time, it’s actually a lack of self-compassion. By constantly comparing yourself to other people and getting down on yourself about how you can’t, or you’re not good enough, or you’ll never be a real witch because… you’re adding a huge amount of judgment and shame to your life and your craft.

In all honesty, this kind of negative self-talk takes up a ton of time and energy! That’s time and energy that you could be putting toward literally anything else, like, ya’know… witchcraft. Rather than spending a bunch of time and energy beating yourself up for not being a good enough witch, why not make ANY amount of witchcraft a win?

The key is to start small. Instead of fitting an hour-long ritual into your daily life, try sneaking in a few minutes of magical activity here and there. Regularly writing down your thoughts in a journal that you keep near your bed or planning out a few quick spells can be just as powerful as doing full-fledged rituals. Just because it’s not big or flashy doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count! Start counting absolutely every magical moment, even 10 seconds of tuning into the energy of a room, as real witchcraft and you’ll likely find that you’re already doing way more than you thought.

You can also try to make small tasks magical. Channeling your energy toward something small can help increase the power of your spellwork and ritual work significantly. Even doing ssimple things like taking care of plants or wearing particular colors or jewelry that have special meaning for your practice can add an extra layer of magic to any activity.

Most importantly, give yourself permission to take breaks from witchcraft when needed—it’s ok if you don’t always find time for it! It’s more important that you take care of yourself first—and will ultimately help maintain stability and balance in both your magical and mundane life.

Where to Find Magical Time in Your Schedule

You don’t need to give up on living a magical life just because you don’t have the time to focus on witchcraft. With some creativity, you can find a few moments here and there to fit in magical practices but again, the key is to approach this with self-compassion. You may not be able to find time every day. Even one extra moment of focus on your craft during the week counts as a win!

Start by mapping out your weekly schedule. Take a look at the hours you spend on work and other responsibilities. Think of what small changes you can make in order to create space for witchy activities—even if it’s only five or ten minutes here and there.

For example:

Wake up 10 minutes earlier for a morning tarot card pull

Take a short meditation break during lunch

Spend half an hour listening to an audiobook or podcast before bed or during your commute

Fit in manifestation sessions or spell casting during study breaks

You’ll soon find that you are able to fit in small doses of ritual and these small moments can really add up!

Finally, if even these small moments still don’t seem to be enough, look into creative ways to practice and immerse yourself in the world of witchcraft. From joining online communities to taking classes or workshops, to learning from books, there are plenty of ways to enrich and add depth to your craft that don’t have to take up a ton of time.

At the end of the day, carving out a successful magical practice requires a bit of ingenuity and flexibility. Don’t feel bad if you can’t meet the expectations of a glitzy witchy lifestyle—start with small changes and over time, you’ll be able to gradually create a more grassroots and fulfilling magical practice.

Establishing a Daily Practice

You might not think you can make time for a daily practice of witchcraft, particularly if you have a demanding job or too many responsibilities. But it’s actually easier than it sounds—you don’t need to do something elaborate. All it takes is a little bit of effort and the right mindset.

To establish a daily practice, start by carving out just a few minutes each day for yourself. This could be during your lunch break, when you wake up, or before bed—it doesn’t matter when, as long as it works for your schedule.

Here are some simple steps to get you started:

Choose something that resonates with you—this could be divination, writing, or meditation.

Create an easily accessible space where you can set up everything you need for your chosen practice. Not having to do any setup or put things away every single day takes a LOT of the burde out of this process and makes you much more likely to return to it regularly.

Be flexible. If something in your life changes, let your practice change with it. Consistency requires that you keep the reality of your life in mind! Sometimes schedules change, your energy levels change, and what you need and want from your practice changes. Switch from mornings to evenings when you need to, let yourself do a tarot pull instead of meditation sometimes, and build ease into the practice.

Finally, BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF. Did you miss a day? That’s fine, life happens. You missed a week? No sweat, that’s life. Get back to it when you’re ready just stop agonizing over not doing things exactly right all the time. You can become a perfectly good witch even if you get it “right” less than half the time! You are good enough.

What Do You Do If You’re Short On Time And Not Sure Where To Start?

I get it. You’re busy, you have a million responsibilities, and finding time to practice witchcraft is one thing but you don’t even know what to DO with that time when you manage to find it.

Make Figuring It Out The Goal

If you have no idea where to start, the first thing you should do with the time you do manage to carve out is figure out where to start. Literally. That is a perfectly good goal to begin with. This could mean something like spending 15 minutes a day reading about witchcraft or spending a few minutes writing about what you actually want to do with your craft. It’s ok to spend a few weeks or even months just getting the lay of the land and figuring out where you want to focus your energies first. Witchcraft is a huge and incredibly varied subject and nobody expects you to just jump straight in and know exactly what you’re doing.

Start With What Interests You

It’s important to focus on what really resonates with you when it comes to your craft. Pick one thing that speaks to you the strongest and start there—maybe you begin by studying astrology or learning spells—and go from there. This way, you don’t feel overwhelmed with all the options out there and can concentrate on mastering that one thing first before moving on to something else. It doesn’t really matter what you pick as long as it’s something that piques your interest, there’s really no “correct” order to learn things in.

Learn from Others

No one ever said that mastering a magical practice had to be done alone. Reach out to experienced practitioners and those knowledgeable in witchcraft to pick up tips and learn from their experiences. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and to open up about your own struggles—not only will it help you to get perspective on things but it will also create a sense of community among those who have similar interests and goals.

If you want someone to help you learn witchcraft in a more structured way that takes a lot of the guesswork out of it, look on a site like Udemy.

Track Your Progress

Finally, make sure to keep track of your progress. This doesn’t have to be complicated; it can take no more than writing a few words in your journal each day or creating a spreadsheet or digital document to track your spells, rituals, divination, and other activities related to your practice. Write down all of your wins, big and small. In fact, especially write down the small wins! Remember that those little moments add up and they DO count.

By tracking your progress, you’ll be able to easily refer back to your successes, what worked and what didn’t. And on days when things seem to be hitting a dead end, you’ll be able to look at the progress you’ve made and remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

By integrating these tips into your magical practice, you’ll be well on your way to mastering witchcraft despite life’s little hiccups and obstacles.

When life gets overwhelming, don’t forget that you can still practice witchcraft. It doesn’t have to be an in-depth practice or a lengthy ritual – it can be a five-minute positive affirmation every morning or lighting a white candle every night before bed. While it’s important to build a strong foundation of knowledge and practice, a lot of times the simplest techniques are the most powerful.

Remind yourself that you are in control and have the power to shape your life. Invest in yourself and create a personalized practice that works for you, but remember that a little bit goes a long way. No matter how busy or stressed you might be, a few simple steps can take you a long way on your journey to mastering witchcraft.

[she-is-ovarit]

A few of the books I have read this year (not without their flaws). Keep in mind all of these are free if you check them out at your local library ;)

** Please note that most of these books contain descriptions that may be difficult to read through if you've experienced trauma.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.

Legitimately THE book about trauma. You can read it eight times and learn something new, and the narrator for the audiobook does an excellent job. It is remarkably well-written, describing several perspectives on trauma and trauma research, different forms of trauma and how they manifest, the accounts of people from traumatic experiences, the effective approaches for trauma, how trauma differs by sex, and the author's own experience as a clinician treating trauma while working in the field. The second chapter on the neurology of trauma may be especially dense - please don't stop there if you pick up this book.

*Currently $18 on Amazon, normally around $30. Free as an audiobook with Spotify Premium.

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger.

Currently marked down 50% to $10 on Amazon right now, normally $20. Free as an audiobook with Spotify Premium. The narrator for this one also does a fantastic job.

From a feminist perspective, there are certain pieces to this book I disagree with regarding how certain parts of it are framed. However, there's still a lot of great parts to learn from. It begins by describing what these conditions or traits are like for the people who are experiencing them, and then goes on to speak directly to people who may be living with a person experiencing this condition or who may be suffering from abusive behaviors by people diagnosed with BPD and/or NPD.

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Marked down 45% on Amazon, currently $11. This is a fantastic book for emotionally and vulnerably communicating with people in an effective way. There were plenty of parts in this that made me stop and think. The book is very centering and speaks from a very self-reflective place. I am hoping to read this again soon.

Also available free with Spotify Premium as an audiobook, and the narrator does a great job at speaking in a tone that evokes a sense of mindfulness, making it easier to retain the basic principles of the book.

I hate you, don't leave me by Jerold J. Kreismen and Hal Straus.

An absolutely excellent book about borderline personality disorder, describing the people who experience this disorder with compassion yet also an objective lens while still speaking to how behaviors from those experiencing BPD can be self-destructive. There was a lot to this book and I listened to it as an audio book. I'm hoping to revisit it again in the future.

Currently $14 on Amazon.

Also available free as an audiobook with Spotify Premium.

Growing up with a Schizophrenic Mother by Margaret J. Brown and Doris Parker Roberts.

This is such an underrated book! It's a fascinating read about the experiences of children (adults when interviewed for the book) who grew up with a schizophrenic mother. It's really clearly written. It is the only book in existence about what children with a mother experiencing schizophrenia go through, and places emphasis on the negative effects of the schizophrenic disorder while recognizing mothers as victims of the disorder too.

Currently about $20 on Amazon.

[isnt-it-pretty]

When I was a kid, I didn't read. One of my learning disabilities is reading, and it was really difficult for me to make sense of words. They gave me as much extra help in school as they could, but it didn't really do anything. I was several grades behind everybody else, and tbh, I was probably halfway illiterate by the time I was ten, but I honestly can't remember.

And then my older sister brought Sandry's Book home from the library as an audiobook. This was in 2008, when audiobooks were a lot less common than they are now. It was on a CD and I remember sitting in my room listening to it, and feeling my chest swell from joy and excitement.

It was life-changing. I was enthralled by the story of these four kids. I read the physical book along with it, and finally, finally, reading made sense. I could finally match up the sounds I heard with the words I saw, and it clicked in a way it never had before.

I taught myself to read from Tammy's books. The first book I ever read cover to cover of my own accord was Magic Steps. The very first piece of fanfiction I wrote was on loose-leaf paper for Tamora Pierce.

As a bullied kid, it was clear I was unwanted everywhere I went. But in Tammy's books? Those four were unwanted too. They were hurt and angry but they often chose to be kind, even when it was hard. They stood up for what they believed in even if nobody else did.

These books changed my life in ways I can't express. I'm not sure I would love reading as much as I do if I hadn't been given her books. If I didn't read, I definitely wouldn't write.

Even if the books aren't complicated technical writing-wise, and the world-building doesn't always line up, they will forever hold a special place in my heart. I wouldn't be who I am without them.

[savagewildnerness]

There’s really an awful lot of pondering on death & suicide & what it takes to endure existence in The Vampire Lestat… for all it’s viewed as a lighter book than Interview with the Vampire! Like, to the degree that every single main character is at some point either suicidal or wishes to die… or that actually happens. Even though the majority of them are immortal!

It’s making me wonder on this re-read, where I try to think about it more deeply, rather than just reading it - is an innate understanding of how difficult it is to endure/how easy it could be to just slip from existence a reason many of us initially loved this book? Is that Anne can articulate so well that desire to escape oneself & how it feels when that’s impossible one of the most important themes of the books?

Obviously, I’ve spoken about it often: I always associated with Nicolas a lot. Primarily due to how he perceives his own ability/experience of violin playing (I was 12. I definitely wasn’t then, nor am I now anywhere near as cynical as Nicolas….) but I don’t say it is *only* the violin & Nicolas’ music & how he feels to play and about his music that I associate with. Not least because in my opinion, how Nicolas perceives his own music is a reflection of how he perceives himself & how he perceives the world.

In any case, after my last night pondering on Armand’s internal desolation & the way he is actually most emptied of feeling when filled with some external source… yet that’s what he desires/needs because it is the only way he can feel safe… and he’d welcome death it feels if it came to him rather than him having to seek it, and going against God.

Well anyway, I haven’t read on yet, but I listened to the next bit on audiobook as I drive today. And it really struck me how delicate everyone’s mind & heart is.

Nicolas is actually like a fragile genius as a vampire - creating wildly creative, dark plays, articulating the horrors he feels are true (& thus creating Good Art Actually Lestat!) yet he cannot cope. But is it really *madness* that Nicolas screams of horrors in the streets to mortals; that he wants to create a league of vampires; that he wants humans to destroy them all; that he cannot bear it? It seems quite natural to me. Not mad really at all!

And Lestat too, gives himself over to death in despair. For all he talks of enduring, he would not have been able to rise this first time he went into The Earth, but for Marius saving him. And no wonder. He has lost everything. Lestat, talking on fate & how if we escape it, perhaps it waits for us.

It’s hard for me, as a friend died last week at a similar mortal age to Nicolas’ 30 years & this whole part is death & inability to cope with the simple Horror of existence. (Albeit; monstrous existence… but existence *is* monstrous as it is, right? Vampires are a fantastical representation of the very real & way more horrific in my opinion (as it can’t be contained in beautiful, sensual, philosophical vampires in reality…) truth of the actual horror of existence for us all.)

And Lestat speaking on fate reminds me too of Debbie. A girl I went to secondary school with. When she was 11 she got Lupus & her secondary school years were awful, but she endured. I didn’t keep in touch with her after school & her Uncle worked in aircraft engineering & got her a good job. But she survived Lupus in her teenage years, only for death to claim her at 23 in a totally unrelated way… as if it had always just lain in wait. She had escaped it, but then fate waited for her.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I kind of want to create a poll, but I’ve just made myself laugh out loud at what that poll would be - like something like *Did your wee tween self relate to the self-immolatory desires of vampires?* Nice cheery question for a Monday!

I don’t mean it in a depressing way though. We can talk about The Horrors, while allowing joy & fun & play & amusement & silliness & innocence & childlikeness, right? Can we? I am not sure what I’m getting at…?

But this part is hard for me to read right now. And yet cathartic always too. Because… we all feel it, right? Anne is expressing what we humans feel in our tiny existences too.

How to bear it? The overwhelmingness of that.

Right?

[bomberqueen17]

Liveblogging the Aubreyad: Post Captain Part Two

More book, less background, all spoilers.

I will here put in a plug for listening to the Simon Vance audiobooks of this series on 1.25x speed, can't recommend highly enough. Except his foreign accents are terrible, I won't lie about that. Anyhow. Get a library card and check these out if you would rather not read my summaries, which despite their thoroughness are not entire. The books are a challenging read but I did manage it at 12 but I did that through the power of being a socially isolated undiagnosed neurodivergent child so I don't necessarily recommend that either.

A NEE HOO, the book:

In part 1 we got female characters (sweet innocent Sophia? or her worldly, dashing cousin Diana?), sweet bachelor pad, social lives, horse farts, and *jazz hands* financial ruinnnnnn, and our intrepid heroes have fled to France where a Frenchman ruined Jack's composure by kissing him. But now, war has broken out, and they must flee without being arrested, which will be very difficult because Jack is approximately the most ostentatiously English person ever to have existed on this planet, in this universe.

And so now we pay off on my earlier bullet-point about Jack's fursona.

I had genuinely forgotten about this when I first relistened to the books. I listened to this long expounded-upon scenario, where a convoy of English prisoners of the French is resting and there's a man with a tame bear passing by and the prisoners, especially a sea officer trying to impress a lady in company with him, want him to make the bear dance even though it is hot and the bear is obviously tired, and the gendarmes finally come over and insist that the bear must dance to prove it really is a tame bear, and I was just expecting this to be some background descriptive passage included in the book for the atmosphere as so many are until, as they are finally left alone and the bear-leader is sitting counting up the coins people tossed at them, unaccountably reciting them to the bear as if the bear is going to care, the bear out of nowhere answers him.

“When one sea-officer is to be roasted, there is always another at hand to turn the spit,' said the bear. 'It is an old service proverb. I hope to God I have that fornicating young sod under my command one day. i'll make him dance a hornpipe - oh, such a hornpipe. Stephen, prop my jaws open a little more, will you? I think I shall die in five minutes if you don't. Could we not creep into a field and take it off?' 'No,' said Stephen. 'But I shall lead you to an inn as soon as the market has cleared, and lodge you in a cool damp cellar for the afternoon. I will also get you a collar, to enable you to breathe. We must reach Couiza by dawn.'

Stephen for his own inscrutable reasons names the bear Flora and tells everyone it is a female bear whose female troubles make it bad at dancing. Meanwhile Jack is being slowly murdered by the suit, his bare bloody feet glued to the costume's paws, insects eating him, never able to eat or drink enough, always overheated. By the time they make it to the Spanish border, Jack is nearly dead. It's a good character study: he is still thinking tactically at some times, still has the capacity to wonder whether Stephen might yet betray him, to notice that he has heretofore in their acquaintance underestimated Stephen severely, but his innate and natural response to this kind of hopeless privation and suffering is to simply submit to it and endure, doing whatever Stephen tells him to, understanding that there is no useful resistance he can make; he resents Stephen but also recognizes that Stephen too is suffering, this is simply what must be done and he must endure it, beyond any concept of limits. As they finally reach Spain he sits on a rock and dreamily tells Stephen he is glad Stephen seems so happy, and just sort of echoes whatever Stephen says, clearly well beyond comprehending what's going on anymore. (He does revive once the bear suit comes off.)

He spends some time very ill in Stephen's house just across the border. Stephen owns a castle there, though it's mostly in ruins. Once Jack can move, they make their way, this time both as humans, down to Gibraltar, and book passage home in an Indiaman* that has happened to put in there for repairs.

[* for the record the word Indiaman refers to a merchant ship plying the rich trade route to India, and would have female pronouns, like any ship. Actual human Indian men, if sailors or soldiers, are referred to as Lascars, with normal human pronouns as applicable, and as far as I can tell this is just a neutral descriptor and even though racial attitudes of the time were what they were, was not ever particularly used as a slur. Now You Know. Listen I'm trying to look things up as I go, since there's Period-Typical-Everything in here, but I might miss some, do be advised; I don't intend to condone any anythings in any of this nor do I wish to carelessly use loaded terms but it can be difficult to suss out what's what in the modern context.]

Aboard that Indiaman is another of my earlier bullet points: yes it's TOM PULLINGS. Jack recognizes him by his huge grin from across the ship, he's so delighted to see them, human sunbeam that he is.

Never confirmed as a lieutenant after the acting commission Jack had given him in the Sophie, quite without any political influence or hope of help in that quarter (though Jack had written letters of introduction for him to every single captain he knew who he thought might have a spot for him), TOM PULLINGS has given up on the Navy and taken a job with the East India Company, which pays better but is entirely without glory or hope of promotion.

“Why, sir, I could not get a ship and they would not confirm me in my rank. No white lapels for you, Pullings, old cock, they said. We got too many coves like you, by half." ''What a damned shame," cried Jack, who had seen Pullings in action and who knew that the Navy did not and indeed could not possibly have too many coves like him.

Another fun bit of fuzzy timekeeping which I should tally somewhere here is that while we know Jack and Stephen's adventure in France was of some considerable duration, every so often for the next few books Pullings will point out yet another Indiaman and say delightedly "I made two voyages in her", and I should start a running tally of How Many Indiamen Has Tom Pullings Been In somewhere because each voyage is a minimum of six months, and we have seen Pullings earlier in this book, he attended the St Vincent Battle Ball in February of-- whatever year that was. (Side note: Mowett mentions having served previously in the Namur, which was at the Battle of St Vincent, and it was only three years before, so it's perfectly possible he was there, but it's never brought up. Thinks to think upon!)

(I am sure some fan at some point has already done this work. But all the discussion boards are from 2003ish and it is hard to search them. Better than modern fandoms, where it all vanishes into private Discords, but it is... sort of sad, to look through the moribund message boards and remember being in spaces like that and how great they were. RIP to the golden days of the Internet.)

I've already explained how promotion works, so I don't need to elaborate on how very slim Pullings's career prospects are. He shows Jack all around his ship, and Jack tries very hard to be polite, but merchantmen, after the Navy, are a sort of sorry, squalid state of things, and there's not a lot to be polite about. Pullings clearly does the best he can but he has only a thin crew, a poor-sailing sluggish fat ship, and a timid captain to work with. What's worse, many of the crew are Lascars-- fine seamen, but they seem poorly; the initial assumption that they are simply not used to the cold proves wrong, it turns out that they're all succumbing to the flu, which is affecting the Europeans too but is hitting the Lascars that much harder. So the ship is now critically short-handed, with many of the crew incapacitated by the flu.

And then a French privateer heaves into sight, the Bellone. The captain doesn't know what to do and is terrified. Pullings beats the ship approximately into shape by sheer dint of competence and strong feeling, but there's not a lot of hope, he quite simply has very little to work with. Jack steps up and volunteers to take charge of one of the divisions of guns. It is so long since they have been used that he has to fire one to blow the port lid off, it having been painted into place long ago.

A brisk action ensues, but the Indiaman, despite all the heroics Jack and Pullings can manage, is overwhelmed and taken. Jack and Pullings are both moderately-to-severely injured in the fight, Jack left briefly in a coma after falling down a hatchway and Pullings being both shot and stabbed. The French steal everything aboard the ship including the passengers' personal property and Stephen's surgical implements that he was in the middle of using, impose a heavy prize-crew, and undertake to sail the Indiaman to a Spanish harbor. Jack will certainly spend the war a French prisoner, with no hope of getting home, getting a command, advancing his career, staying relevant.

But then an English brig, recognized as the Seagull by Pullings because his uncle used to be the sailing master in her, shows up and fights the French prize-crew to a standstill. Our heroes spend the action locked up below, but the French captain lets them out when the action grinds to a pause, the Seagull heavily damaged trying to repair itself enough to continue. Things look bad; the Frenchman is annoyed and might just sink the Seagull out of spite, but then a squadron of homeward-bound Royal Navy ships of the line round the headland-- the HMS Colossus, a 74, the Tonnant of eighty guns, more behind them-- and Jack puts his hand down over the touch-hole of the gun the Frenchman was about to fire at the Seagull and coldly tells him he must surrender to the brig.

Which he does.

So now Jack is home to England, and back in the running to get himself a ship so he can participate in this war and stay alive in his career-- but where he also is still at constant risk of being arrested for debt.

The new First Lord of the Admiralty is Lord Melville, whose family name is Dundas-- the older brother, in fact, of Heneage Dundas, who was a midshipman and then a lieutenant alongside Jack, one of his best friends. Melville thinks his younger brother is a bit of an idiot, but has some small fondness for Jack anyway. So there's hope. But Jack is arriving so late that all the best posts have already been snapped up. Melville promises to do his best to find him something, but tells him not to hold out much hope of something actually good. Jack does explain his specific problem, however-- the debt thing-- and Melville is understanding of it at least.

Jack has taken lodgings in a tiny shack outside of town with Stephen, giving rise to this charming description, please to look out for a particularly excellent 19th-century word usage:

At present they were lodging in an idyllic cottage near the heath with green shutters and a honeysuckle over the door - idyllic in summer, that is to say. They were looking after themselves, living with rigid economy; and there was no greater proof of their friendship than the way their harmony withstood their very grave differences in domestic behaviour. In Jack's opinion Stephen was little better than a slut: his papers, odd bits of dry, garlic'd bread, his razors and small-clothes lay on and about his private table in a miserable squalor; and from the appearance of the grizzled wig that was now acting as a tea-cosy for his milk-saucepan, it was clear that he had breakfasted on marmalade.

Stephen you slut indeed.

They go to a party-- a risky proposition, with Jack a wanted man, but Everyone who is Everyone will be there, and he quite simply needs to remind his various powerful acquaintances that he is here and in need. So they go. Diana is there, and also a well-connected, very wealthy merchant named Canning. Canning's merchant ships are very much preyed-upon by privateers-- especially the Bellone-- and he has been commissioning privateers of his own to defend them. He very politely, indirectly goes as far as is decent toward offering Jack the command of the latest of these, which is to be very large and powerful indeed. It is deeply, deeply tempting, and Jack considers it at length, but his ambition above all else lies with the Navy, and Lord Melville is also at the party and tells him he should come the very next day to a meeting, Melville thinks he might have something for him.

Diana also offers to Jack that he might come see her the next day. He points out, sensibly, that he is at risk of arrest, and so it would be deeply irresponsible of him to go jaunting about the city. She scorns him for this, saying he is being a coward to even consider such things as his own personal ruin. She quite openly only wants him if he's willing to ruin himself for her.

Jack goes out for a walk late that night, out in a deserted area, to think. A man tries to mug him and his immediate reflex, honed by kind of a lot of hand-to-hand combat experience, is to just absolutely beat the shit out of the guy in about two blows. He lays him out cold and then, standing over the body, realizes he can't leave the man lying here as it's coming on to freeze and the fellow will die of exposure. So, cursing how complicated everything always has to be on land, he carries the man home, as you do, and ties him to a chair, and promptly falls asleep in the other chair waiting for Stephen, who went to visit other friends after the party.

(Several times in the series it is made plain that Jack has been at sea since he was an actual child, and his understanding of how laws work by land is very extremely fuzzy at best; his education in general is shockingly lacking. He knows the Articles of War cold, could recite them back to front, can cite them by number unfailingly, but only has a vague notion of any other kind of law, and no idea at all how the land-based justice system actually works. And how could he?)

Stephen comes home near dawn to find them thus, Jack asleep in one chair, and the would-be mugger wide awake, terrified, and extremely-competently tied to their only other chair.

The would-be mugger is an excellent plot device: he succinctly and intelligently explains to Stephen and the reader exactly how English debt law works, he himself being extremely experienced in it. (Stephen is gently spooning food into the man's mouth even as he is still tied to the chair, he having admitted he only took up trying to mug people because he had not eaten in several days.) Jack also forces the man to eat some of Jack's own breakfast, under peril of being headed up in a cask and tossed overboard, which makes plain to everyone involved a) how serious he is and b) where he's more normally accustomed to being.

Jack makes his way to the meeting with Melville, who finally offers him a ship. It is not a good ship. Melville actually feels guilty to even offer it. It is called HMS Polychrest, it is a misguided experiment gone wrong, built by a corrupt dockyard to the specifications of an ill-informed landlubber with ideas. But, it has cannons and it technically floats, so Jack takes it.

He's aware that Melville feels like shit about it, though, so he figures he has one, and only one, big concession he can ask for. And he shoots that shot on one, very dear, very precious thing that he very badly wants:

TOM PULLINGS, to be made lieutenant at last, and to serve with him in this misbegotten floating disaster.

I will break off again here because this is too long. Stay tuned for PART THREE, in which I promise I'll tell you how Barret Bonden punches out a cop.

[burgeoning-ambition]

Finally a first language laddering post! In the near future I hope to start posting updates to my personal studying, maybe accompanied by study materials for others to use if I have the time! But first, I wanted to post an introduction.

Transcript of the images below the cut!

Language Laddering!

An Overview

I recently made a post asking about interest in me posting my personal Japanese -> Korean language laddering study journey and resources. And a lot of people seemed interested! Let's start off with an introduction to language laddering itself, since people may not have heard of it, or may not recognize this name for it! For my own personal stuff, I hope to post updates to my studies along with some resources as regularly as I can manage!

What is Language Laddering?

Language laddering, as I'm using the term, is a method of language study in which you use one target language (TL1) to learn a second target language (TL2). Basically, you cut your native language out of the equation and study in a target language!

How I Ladder

There are several methods you can use that I'd say count as language laddering, but I'm only going to go super in-depth into the methods I personally use!

If you study this way and have a specific method you love that I didn't mention, please mention it in a comment or reblog! I'd love to hear more methods.

Reading Japanese textbooks for Korean

Getting access to resources in Japanese is definitely harder because of international shipping, but I'm able to find store listings that offer sample pages! I've been using these until I can get the money to actually buy them.

In the meantime as I wait to get fully Japanese texts, I use the speaking pen from Learn Korean With BTS, haha- the speaking pen reads the book in four languages, and Japanese is one of them! So I just listen to it like an audiobook instead of reading the English!

Using apps and websites made by and for Japanese learners

While my Japanese dictionaries and apps are all in English, my Korean dictionaries and apps are all in Japanese!

I use an online Japanese-Korean dictionary on my phone, and when I practice grammar and other concepts in Korean, I use Japanese websites for Korean learners.

Recently, I've been using the site ハングルの森 to review basic grammar. I've been getting a pretty strong hold on Japanese grammar terms, too, which is exciting for more fully laddering!

Laddering languages in the way I choose to can be a very fun way to learn a new language and study one you've already been working on, but it doesn't work for everyone!

People who enjoy learning grammar and reading about how language works may enjoy it because they can learn grammar the way it's taught in their target language rather than how it's taught in their native language! This can be exciting, it's interesting to see how different languages teach concepts and learning grammar terms in a TL can open grammar-related doors! If you're a linguistics nerd like me, grammar-related doors are super exciting.

However, if you struggle a lot with understanding language instruction, and classroom language learning is really difficult for you, then it may only make things harder to try and use your TL's classroom language learning material for a new TL.

And that's okay! Not every learning method is for everyone. Learning through immersion may be easier and less frustrating if you struggle with classroom learning!

And guess what?

You can still ladder languages when doing immersion learning! Watching something in your new TL with subtitles for your stronger TL is one good way you can combine immersion learning with laddering!

I hope to post more about language laddering, although it will probably be pretty catered to my own personal study! People can feel free to send asks about anything specific they'd like to know! (Although I certainly am not an expert, so I can't answer everything)

Also, I know this post was SUPER text heavy, so thank you for making it to the end! I hope it wasn't too droning to read ^-^ Good luck with language laddering if you decide to try it!

[flameswallower]

THE BEST FICTION I ENCOUNTERED IN THE FIRST HALF OF 2024!!

Due to what I feel is the most in my wheelhouse re: ability to give a critical defense or determine artistic quality, and also so I won't be here ALL DAY, this list will include books, comics, interactive fiction, and one short video webseries I really liked. It will not include movies, TV shows, non-IF games, or nonfiction, although I do also enjoy/partake in those things.

Everything on this list was new to me this year with the exception of the comic strip Junk World; however, Junk World released as a zine fairly recently, and I forgot to mention it on my end of 2023 list, so I feel fine putting it here. "New to me" does not mean something necessarily released this year, so I have put the year of release in parentheses next to the work where I know the year of release. A couple of these books haven't actually come out yet (I read ARCs); I've noted that when describing them and they will also be on the end-of-year list so people don't forget about them. : )

--------------------

Novels and Novellas!

Cuckoo, by Gretchen Felker-Martin (2024): This is a blisteringly angry book: a constantly burning blow torch pointed at homophobia, transphobia, and, especially, the pervasive scourge of hidden, ignored, and socially approved child abuse. Yet Cuckoo has great tenderness for its immensely damaged protagonists, and also takes the time to flesh out and empathize with some of its odious antagonists. This nuanced characterization provides a necessary counterpoint to the rage that fuels the novel, and makes it more moving and memorable than most other politically charged, hyper-violent works of fiction. There are quiet moments of connection and sorrow that are going to stay with me far longer than the scenes of dynamite explosions and shoot outs with shrieking, starfish-faced cops.

Failure To Comply, by Cavar (comes out in August 2024): Reading Cavar’s Failure to Comply, I couldn’t help but think of the recent David Cronenberg movie Crimes of the Future. Both deal with dystopias in which bodies and their modification are strictly regulated, and people with unauthorized bodies form a vibrant, perpetually imperiled subculture on the margins. Both use this conceit to speak metaphorically about the plights of trans and disabled people, although Failure to Comply’s characters are also presented as literally, textually disabled and trans. But, although Crimes of the Future is often accused of being a “weird movie,” Failure to Comply is undeniably much, much weirder. Cronenberg is super normal compared to this.

Maej, by Dale Stromberg (comes out in September 2024): a doorstopper I found difficult to put down and finished inside a week; a work of very unapologetic genre fiction that’s equally unapologetic in its intelligence and dedication to doing strange, creative things with language; a high fantasy story I actually liked. The setting is the city of Sforre-Yomn, in the country of Hwoama, whose culture combines elements from across the continents of Asia and Europe. But Hwoama is matriarchal: men are subordinate to women, who dominate politics, business, the military, and nearly all other professions. As a result of this fact, almost all the major characters in the novel are female. By turns this presents a fun, simple, mischievous inversion of maleness as the unmarked default state for fictional characters, and meaty commentary on the social construction of sex, sexuality, and gender. Stromberg has cited Le Guin as an influence on Maej and, in the most complimentary way possible, this influence is evident.

Wrath Goddess Sing, by Maya Deane (2022): I listened to the audiobook version, read by the lovely voice of Katherine Pucciarello, so I can't vouch for whether I would have enjoyed the novel (as much) in text form. However, the audiobook was an engrossing tale of bronze age sandal, sword, and sorcery. Although it is based on the story of Achilles, readers who want a very po-faced historically or mythologically faithful retelling would be wise to look elsewhere; that said, I for one have little interest in retellings that do not bring a lot of new stuff to the table, so I was happy with all of the strange, interesting, surprising directions this one went. I loved the bizarre, often horrific depictions of the gods; this book really captured the feverish, molten, giddy, and terrifying feeling that accompanies magic and spiritual encounters in real life. Like I said, this is essentially a lavish work of epic sword and sorcery, and I think it is best to set one's expectations through that lens.

More Bugs, by Em Reed (2024): A slow-paced existentialist character study/slice of life about a cynical, depressed butch woman going through a quarter-life crisis after circumstances force her to move back to her sleepy central Pennsylvania hometown and back in with her disapproving mother. Also a f/f age gap romance. Also a magical realist/sci-fi story about shapeshifting alien beings. It's unique, and I connected with it a lot.

Read and Then Burn This, by Rysz Merey (2024): Ah, young love! Have you ever been nineteen, shallow, insecure in your art, inexperienced in the world, and making poor sexual decisions? Haven't we all. This is a book about that. I find the relatively small scale of the proceedings, and the emotional numbness/constipation of the characters, makes this feel all the more sordid.

The Woods All Black, by Lee Mandelo (2024): This one has a couple flaws that bugged me while I was reading, but it's a revenge-horror romance story about two trans guys (or arguably: a trans guy and a butch) in 1920s Appalachia and it has blisteringly hot, graphic sex scenes of both the "regular" and the "monsterfucking" variety, so-- pretty much impossible for me not to enjoy overall! I thought the depiction of how 1.) people in the past conceived of transness differently than most people do today, and 2.) different trans people often conceive of their own transness differently, even if their embodiment is very similar, was nuanced and quite well done.

Short Story Collections!

Grime Time, by Ivy Grimes (2023): Some of the oddest short fiction I've read in ages! Grimes' surreal stories tend to be very brief, and they're almost always impossible to categorize. They deal heavily with ambivalence and ambiguity, two of my favorite things, and often end up unsettling the reader not because of anything particularly ominous or awful that happens in the narrative, but because it's very unclear what actually has happened, how the protagonist feels about it, and how the reader ought to feel about it. The definition of "really makes you think!" Grimes' prose is simple and clear, with minimal description, yet very distinctive. Often reminds me of Leonora Carrington.

White Cat, Black Dog, by Kelly Link (2023): Predictably enough, another all-bangers instant classic from Link. These stories are all based on fairy tales, with some following the original fairy tale quite closely and others taking very loose inspiration from the fairy tale or mixing and matching with elements from different tales. My personal favorite, the standout in an excellent collection, was "Prince Hat Underground," which is a really beautiful story about being in a long term relationship with someone you love but don't always get along with or understand, about accepting the inevitability of death and loss, and about what a fairy tale romance looks like when the people in the fairy tale romance are middle aged men on the cusp of old age, rather than wide-eyed young people.

Individual Short Stories!

"The Earth and Everything Under," by K.M. Ferebee (2014) is a slightly grotesque, surreal, fairy tale-like novelette about grief and witchcraft. I strongly suggest you read it at the link.

"The Clown Watches the Clown," by Sara S. Messenger (2024) is also slightly grotesque, surreal, and melancholic; it's about a young person in a space opera cyberpunk future who's caught in a rut. Again, you can and should read it at the link.

"The Evening and the Morning and the Night," by Octavia Butler (1987) has been anthologized in a few places and shouldn't be too difficult to track down, but I'd never read it before. It's an incredible work of sci-fi that deals with mad liberation/disability justice and also with (as in much of Butler's work) the idea of biology as destiny: to what extent are we at the mercy of our bodies and instinctual drives, and to what extent do we have the power to decide what we'll do with them? How do the stories we tell about certain kinds of bodies and medical conditions affect our ability to see that potential for choice, for agency, or just for things to turn out in a different and better way?

Comics!

Kiara's Junk World rules. I love the skillful inking, the cute animal characters, the playful and sardonic wit, the erudite references.

Interactive Fiction!

In a.c.d's The Beach That Makes You Old, you have to help a patient trapped in an evil hospice/psychiatric facility. (2024)

In K.A. Tan's Labyrinth, you play as the Minotaur, on the last day of his life. (2024)

Both games are free to play, with a play time of about forty-five minutes to an hour if you want to get all the endings/explore every aspect of the narrative. If you've never experienced interactive fiction before, it takes no special gaming skill: you just click through different links!

Video!

Mr. Samuel's Teatime Stories, dir. Yara Asmar (2024) is a distorted, Lynchian faux-children's show. Unlike, say, Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared, the tone is much more eerie, elegiac, and somber-- or, occasionally, surprisingly sweet-- than darkly comedic and satirical (which isn't to say there are no jokes or funny moments). I found it really moving by the end.

[klainelynch]

Hey friend! So I’ve been listening to a bunch of your Royai podfics lately and I just love them. Its the best way to get my fic fix while also being a productive adult lol. I’m blown away with how professional and polished your stuff is! You definitely could be recording full blown audiobooks, if you aren’t already! (And if you are, I’d love to know where to find those!)

I’m intrigued by your whole process: how you pick stories, record, edit, etc. Choosing when and where to use tone inflection, pacing, all that. You can fully nerd out if you feel like it! I’m so curious. ☺️❤️

Ahhhh what a wonderful message to find in my inbox!! 🥰🥰🥰 I'm so happy that my podfics have become something that you listen to in your daily routine! I don't record audiobooks or do this in any kind of a professional sense, but I do try to emulate what I love of different audiobooks/professional productions and other peoples' podfics, so your compliment means the world to me!

I started with a very stream-of-consciousness response and have tried to cohere it into something readable. You said I could fully nerd out, so here's over 2k of me taking you up on that xD

Choosing a fic:

I tend to gravitate towards fics that have more narration as opposed to dialogue. I love being in a character's head and fully living in their world and the way they experience it. When I am reading dialogue, I don't try to sound exactly like the voice actor (if it's from a tv show or movie) or adopt their accent, but I do try to embody the character in my voice, if that makes sense. If there are too many characters with dialogue, this gets difficult for me, which is why many of my solo podfics have two or fewer characters who speak, or why I create multivoice podfics with fellow podficcers.

In my podfic spreadsheet, there are several pages dedicated to fics that I'd like to record someday. Most of them are under 1k, though I do have a few that are around 3k (which would be on the longer side for me). I jot notes to remember what each fic is/what I would like to do with it—some examples of what those sound like with fics I haven't recorded yet: Zuko asks how Iroh survived when Lu Ten died because of Izumi feels; Al reflecting on Royai rebuilding Isvhal, no dialogue; Roy takes Riza out on a date (cover art would be a theatre program); good angsty Edwin moment after the boys come home (could have thunder in background); Ghost!Roy as Riza carried on, will need to build to this level of angst; Abbott Elementary book fair *chef's kiss*; Roy announces he’s engaged to some mystery woman but PSYCHE HE’S ALREADY MARRIED TO RIZA.

I used to have a pretty even split of recording fics with blanket permission versus asking authors for permission, but these days, I tend to be too lazy to ask lol. Not saying that I won't do it, but when the mood strikes me to record, I need to know pretty quickly if I can complete the project, and a bp statement really helps with that!

Prep work:

When I first began podficcing, I would put the entire fic into a google doc. This let me annotate the script for every little thing (highlighting dialogue, typing out phonetic pronunciations of difficult names/words, and putting spaces in between sections of text to help with breath control being the most common). The more I podficced, the less I had to annotate, until all I would do with my scripts was put in the spaces. I want my breath to be consistent/unnoticeable, so I read with that in mind. Often you can use the punctuation as your guide, but sometimes there are long stretches with no punctuation, and I have to figure out how a sentence should be cut up to make its meaning clear.

I didn't make these scripts for any of my solo podfics during Voiceteam this past May, and I still felt comfortable recording, so I think I may be past needing this tool for the most part. I just need to read through the fic a few times and look up any potential pronunciation issues right before I record.

Recording the podfic:

My early podfics were recorded with the microphone attached to my earbuds, and you can definitely hear it in the quality 🙈🙉 I did at least use a makeshift pop filter, so that helped with my plosives from the beginning.

After a few months, I got a blue snowball mic, which makes the quality so much clearer, and even more so once I got a computer that can run Audacity (more on why I love this program later).

I currently record in my closet, which is a long wide shape, so the doors don't close all the way when I'm inside of it. I shut them as best as I can to prevent outside noises, and I stand as I record. I used to sit at my desk with a soundproofing box around my mic, but I found it hard to get good breaths for long periods of time, so now I stand. The tradeoff is that I have to be wearing good shoes if I'm recording more than thirty-ish minutes (which could happen if the podfic is ultimately longer than twelve or so minutes because…)

My raw audio is usually at least twice as long as the final product. I often record several takes for lines, sometimes if I mess up, but usually if I don't think I captured the emotional quality that I can hear in my head when I read the line with my eyes. Sometimes it takes up to ten times for a line to feel right; other times, an early take ends up being the best one.

The previous point touches on how I handle putting inflection into my voice. The other part of it is thinking through how the speaker would say a particular word/phrase. If it's narration, I've emotionally been with that speaker for the entire fic, so I lean into that; if it's dialogue, it might be someone new, so I have to switch my brain. Either way, I have to (consciously or unconsciously) think through: 1. how would I personally say this? 2. how would the character say this? 3. how would the audience want to hear this? 4. how would the meaning be most effectively heard? Often there is overlap in these questions, but not always. If there's a conflict between these, I try to remember that my audience is probably just listening with their ears, not simultaneously reading with their eyes, so I need to prioritize their being able to understand what is happening and why. That's why I try to affect my voice in different ways and not literally mumble or shout, even if the fic has the character doing that.

Since you mentioned my Royai podfics, I will mention one way I distinguish their voices depending on who the narrator is. When Roy is the narrator, any of his dialogue is in my normal voice, and Riza's dialogue becomes slightly higher and slower; when Riza is the narrator, her dialogue is in my normal voice, and Roy's dialogue becomes slightly lower and faster.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to nail the first and especially the last line of a fic, so I will record a good number of takes for those. It's only happened once that I loved the first take I did of a final line. Sometimes I annoy myself at how many takes I record, but I'm thankful for the choices when I'm editing, so this is simply how I do things!

The hardest part of recording for me is keeping my voice quality consistent. I drink a lot of water throughout the day, but even so, I get dry mouth as I record, and once you're at that point, drinking more water doesn't really help. Tricks like chewing gum or brushing my teeth right before recording help me out.

Editing the podfic:

This has actually become my favorite part of the process! It feels like a puzzle and a treasure hunt, trying to find the best ways to pick out the best parts of my performance and turn it into a final product.

When I started podficcing, I had a chromebook, so the only audio editing software available was free online websites. I don't even remember the ones I used, but they did most of the things I wanted, and they let me get my foot in the door. The problem was that they were limited in tools, such as…

Noise reduction is my favorite feature of Audacity, which is the software I currently use. If you go back and listen to my podfics chronologically, you can clearly tell when I started using it because the general crackle in the background disappears. I have no plans to delete old pods, but it is as painful for me to listen to them for this reason as it is to reread fics I wrote in high school lol

The first round of edits is picking out the best takes for each line. Sometimes that means listening to several takes over and over before I choose my favorite; occasionally, I splice together the first half of one take and the second half of another. I'm very proud when I can do this with a single word and you can't tell the difference at all. I laugh when it sounds like I've done this with a word, but actually I just read it weird and I have no other take to substitute it with xD

Something else I do in the first edits is take out excessive space between sentences and paragraphs. I basically reset my breath/voice after every segment (could be a sentence or part of a sentence) so there's always extra space. I tend to edit down to one to two seconds between sentences, two to three seconds between paragraphs, and four to five seconds between entire sections of a fic. Of course, there are always exceptions (a character feeling very emotional, especially angry or excited, will have faster sentences; dialogue is formatted in paragraphs but it is inflection rather than time that indicates to the audience that a new paragraph/speaker has begun; an emotional line might require more space to let the audience process it).

Once I have all of the words edited together, I will do a second round of edits for tightening up the pacing. I listen to the edit without looking at the text, keeping my hands busy with a video game or coloring. As I'm listening, if something feels too fast or too slow, I'll make edits in real time, back it up, and listen again. The reason I can't read and listen during this pass is because my eyes are expecting too much and I can't properly hear what the audience will hear. When I began podficcing, I thought I had enough space in between words and sentences, but when I would listen back, I realized that I had cut too much out and the podfic's speed was faster than I liked. Now I leave more space in during the first edit and do this pacing pass.

Once I'm happy with the narration, I save it as a narration only file. I love adding in music and effects when I can, but I'm sure there are some who would rather only listen to the narration, so I make this available for accessibility and preference reasons.

I will usually make a final version with music and/or sound effects. This is one area where I'm specifically trying to emulate professional audiobooks and how they use music under the opening credits before fading out as the story begins.

Finding music is its own kind of scavenger hunt. I prefer to use public domain or creative commons music because it feels more true to the collaborative/transformative spirit that podfics have for me, and the idea of a podfic being taken down for copyright reasons does make me nervous. ccmixter and Purple Planet have a lot of songs that I've used in the past. The former has literally thousands of songs, which can overwhelm me if I'm working on a deadline, so I will sometimes just listen to random tracks and download anything that might be helpful in the future. That being said, if a fic uses a song lyric as a title or the author mentions a song as inspiration, I will try to use that song as the music if possible. I'm especially proud of how I used "Wait for It" at the end of An Endless Uphill Climb.

I use sound effects far less frequently than music, but they are fun when there is a natural place for them. I love the Star Wars audiobooks, and they often use sound effects and music in a way that heightens the emotions in the listener. That is always my guiding star, though I will admit to sometimes using effects just because they make me happy!

Cover art:

Like music/sound effects, this part is totally optional, but I usually do it because I have a lot of fun with it! I make everything in Canva, and again, I try to use public domain or creative commons images. Openverse is my go-to search engine because they make it really easy to tell which images I'm allowed to use in what ways. Sometimes I have a vision and try to find images to match; other times I have no idea and just see what I can find, or I can't find what I had in mind and have to switch gears.

Random facts that I couldn't find a spot for:

I learned how to read for an audience by being a lector at mass (reading either something from the Old Testament or something from the New Testament, other than the Gospels) in a church with lots of marble, which explains why I read on the slow side. Had to leave room for the echo before I started speaking the next line!

I've actually found that my own fic writing became easier to read aloud once I started podficcing. That doesn't make it better or worse—there are beautiful passages in literature/fic that are easier to read with the eyes than with the ears. But it is definitely a thing.

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Thank you again for sending this ask! I hope this peek behind the curtain was interesting to you, even if it was probably far more than you were asking for xD And another thank you for listening to my podfics—it really does mean so much to me that something I've made can brighten up your day 💖

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Solaris reads Murder as a Second Language, by Joan Hess (2013)

So yeah, this was the book I made the poll about. As this is a murder mystery I'm liveblogging, it's very likely I'll spoil the killer for you. Block the tag "solaris reads murder as a second language" if you don't want spoilers.

Murder as a Second Language is the 19th book in the Claire Malloy Mysteries and the first book by Joan Hess I've read. Last year I listened to about 30 minutes of the audiobook before DNF'ing it because of how trashy the first couple chapters were. Well, now I'm back, and we're going to see how bad the rest of it is.

MAASL picks up shortly after our main character Claire, long-time local business owner, has married Deputy Chief Peter Rosen, and just before she packs her daughter Caron off to college. To get into the college she wants, Caron has to spend the summer doing volunteer work, and Claire - now faced with the possibility of spare time - decides to volunteer as well. When a murder happens in town, Claire and Peter team up to solve the case.

Well, let's see what I've gotten myself into...

[Transcript: "Inez found thsi really cool place where we can volunteer to teach English as a second language to foreigners. It's like four hours a week, and we arrange our own schedules. I figure that if we're there from eleven to noon, we'll have plenty of time to go to the lake and the mall." /end]

Just setting up some background here. Caron has picked fairly easy volunteer work that gives her plenty of time to still enjoy summer, and only really has to devote 40 odd hours to it. As far as last-minute requirements to get into college go, Caron has it pretty damn easy.

Or maybe not. See, she has to attend a training session and...

[Transcript: "Yeah," Caron muttered. "The training session was interminable. The teacher basically read aloud from the manual while we followed along, like we were illiterate. We broke for pizza and then listened to her drone on for another four hours. After that, the executive director, some pompous guy named Gregory Whistler, came in and thanked us for volunteering. I was so thrilled that I almost woke up."

"Then it got worse," Inez said. "The program director, who's Japanese and looks like she's a teenager, told us that because of the shortage of volunteers in the summer we would each get four students - and meet with them twice a week for an hour."

"For a total of Eight Hours." Caron's sigh evolved into an agonized moan. "We have to call them and find a time that's mutually convenient. It could be six in the morning or four in the afternoon. We may never make it to the lake." /end]

How heartbreaking! Caron, on the cusp of adulthood, faces a fraction of the responsibilities she will face in a year when she goes off to college! Her life is truly difficult (sarcasm)

[Transcript: "And I," Caron said, rolling her eyes, "have to tutor an old lady from Poland, a Chinese man, an Iranian woman, and a woman from Russia. How am I supposed to call them on the phone? They don't speak English. Like I speak Polish, Chinese, Russian, and whatever they speak in Iran. This is a nightmare, and I think we ought to just quit now. I say we set up a lemonade stand and donate the proceeds to some charity." /end]

And it gets worse (heavy sarcasm)! Did you know that people who need to learn English as a second language don't speak English perfectly? Caron is right to throw away the chance to go to a good college over this (heavy sarcasm)

Anyway, all is saved, because Claire promises to volunteer as well and take some of their students off their hands so Caron doesn't give up and go to the local community college instead. Personally I'd say a good parent would make their child take responsibility for themselves, but what do I know. This post is getting long, so check the reblogs for how well that works out for everyone