#listening to angry music until i can think straight again

[fridayyy-13th]

God. what do you do when a lifelong friend just refuses to see any worth in themself or their skills even after you've tried to get them to see it for years. i want to help them but i'm tired. it hurts to see them so flippant about it. i'm angry and sad and nothing i do changes their mind and i feel like i'm running out of options and i'm scared that the only one left will be "leave them." i really don't want it to come to that. they mean a lot to me.

[clairewritesjjkxreader]

Sukuna’s Wife and Yuuji’s Onee-chan (Sukuna x Reincarnated!Y/N) Part 3

TW: pregnancies, miscarriages/spontaneous abortions, and other mature themes ahead

Sukuna can still remember your suppressed whimpers when you believed that he was asleep, how your weight would go up and down every few weeks, and how nothing would interest you, not your foreign books or drawings or koto. No matter how many times you two tried or how faithfully you listened to the advice of your doctors and shamans, children were a faraway dream. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…What’s wrong with me?” You used to cry.

“Nothing,�� he always answered, rubbing circles on your back. “Nothing is wrong with you.”

You never seemed to hear him. Sukuna would tirelessly comfort you while reassuring you that spending eternity with only you was his idea of a happy life. However, his words fell on deaf ears. You would always hope, and every single time, your hope would get crushed.

Until you discovered yourself pregnant again for three months. The past pregnancies never lasted for more than a few weeks. Sukuna didn’t want you to hope too much, but how could he resist the brilliant smile of his beloved wife?

He accompanied you to every shop for toys and fabrics and clothes and furniture. He patiently gave his opinions on what the baby’s room should be like. 

You successfully carried to term, your belly round with a healthy child. Sukuna had to admit that it was not an unattractive sight, and despite the protests of the midwives, he stayed by your side, dabbing the sweat from your face and neck as you delivered your precious child. Uraume waited outside with a whole parade of maidservants prepared to help you get washed once everything was over. The cotton blanket which would envelope your baby was washed three times. You wove it yourself, pestering your husband to embroider enchantments for protection and a long, healthy life.

However, as you fell back after giving your final push, you instantly sensed that something was wrong. You had silently turned to your husband. “Ryo?” His head was hanging, unable to meet your gaze. He didn’t need to say anything.

You stopped being you that day.

The Sukuna household, which used to be so full of life and music and cheer, was enveloped in darkness. The one and only madam of the house was given a taste of motherhood like she always prayed, but she was never even able to hear her child’s cry let alone hold them. You stopped leaving the main house. You refused to go down the village to browse for any new foreign products. The maple trees you adored were ignored and the garden you personally tended would have wilted completely if not for Ryomen’s intervention.

You slept on the floor right next to an empty cradle. 

You would have died there too if your husband couldn’t take it and spent three straight days pleading for you to try and go out.

“A merchant passed by and Uraume bought several flowers from him,” he said, trying to make conversation as he eased you into the garden. “I think you’d like them. One species even eats flies.”

It was then, Sukuna recalled, when the two of you heard it.

An inhuman sound came from the bushes.

You hurried to investigate, with Sukuna warily following.

“Oh!” You gasped.

“What is it? Are you hurt?”

As if you hadn’t heard him, you dug into the shrubbery. “Here you are.”

“My love, be careful–”

“Naughty, naughty, you made us worried.” You rose to your feet and started cradling… something. 

Sukuna called your name. He didn’t sense any malicious intent right now but he couldn’t risk you getting hurt.

You turned around. “Ryo-chan, I found him.”

The maids knew better than to show their emotions, but their mouths tingled with the desire to gasp and talk amongst themselves.

Sukuna whispered your name and you walked towards him, arms protectively wrapped around a black-striped overgrown cat. You carried it like one would a newborn. 

You made a fake angry expression at the stupid cat as you scolded it:

“Yuji–” that was the name you and Sukuna agreed on while you were eight months pregnant “–you can’t just disappear without asking permission. You made your father and I worried!”

The cat made a sound that could only be described to be close to a purr, but not quite a purr. 

You giggled and nuzzled its nose. “How can I stay mad at you?”

Sukuna watched as you continued to baby the odd-looking cat. You were the happiest he’s seen you in weeks. He missed your smile.

He no longer cared that it was some stray from some traveling merchant. He didn’t care if the damn thing was eating way too much and growing a hella lot for a simple cat. All that mattered was that you were happy. No servant was allowed to treat your behavior as anything but normal. No one was allowed to even try to destroy the illusion. 

There were times when Sukuna swore he could see clarity in your eyes, when you would watch the sleeping “infant” or when you thought you were alone. A part of you must’ve known.

But because you never stopped treating “Yuji” as your beloved child, he never brought it up.

You were eating, you were smiling. You were happy. That was enough for him.

Though admittedly, he hated the little twerp. 

Not only did “Yuji” get spoonfed and burped personally by the madam of the Sukuna household, you also bathed him, dried and brushed his fur, and let the thing sleep between the two of you. 

It was so annoying.

He couldn’t even embrace his own wife anymore.

Now, over a thousand years later, he still had to share his darling wife with this damn brat.

Part 4: An immediate continuation of this chapter

@laurcad123 @aidanstan @deepinballs @satosuguswife

[chubbletea]

I'm bored. mcsm hcs time

jesse (any prns, bday dec 31st)

genderfluid

reuben helped them sleep, so after they lost him, they had trouble sleeping for years upon years

their music taste is anything and everything. they will go to listening from k-pop to death metal and be unfazed

jesse was fairly little when they met reuben (thinking abt 4-ish??)

they have brightly colored highlights in their hair, and it's style is short and fluffy/messy-looking

only child

doesn't want to get gender surgeries or take hormones or anything

played trumpet in middle school marching band. I'm so sorry for doing them dirty like this but it's the vibes

probably survives off of caffeine. however, this habit got better after they got radar to help

they couldn’t sleep for at least a week after reuben's death, but then they started sleeping with a plushy (probably of a pig), which slowly helped them get back into a semi-regular sleep schedule

they have a nametag necklace with reuben's name engraved on it

petra (she/her, bday feb 20th)

girl kisser. likes kissing women on the lips.

deathly terrified of getting sick. if she got lethally sick before the witherstorm event, she would be like "I'M FINE IT'S NOTHING" but after the witherstorm event if she gets a small cold she freaks tf out

she's a system bc I'm a system and I said so. she has abt five members and has rare splits

her childhood was all over the place

she likes heavier music like green day, blink-182, rob zombie, babymetal, etc.

bassist

did several martial arts and sports as a kid bc she couldn't find one she liked

Idk if I can see her doing marching band but if she did she would be an alto sax player, but like angry section leader alto sax player

lukas is her cousin. she's the only one who gets to call him luke bc that's what he originally went by before changing it to lukas

she's abt three years older than lukas, and she was very present in his childhood. they basically did everything together bc their parents were either fuckasses or straight up not there (L + ratio tbh)

lukas (he/him, bday july 24th)

trans guy. just the vibes

he's a writer. he's into WEIRD GROSS GRAPHIC SHIT. he does not faint when he sees blood or whatever.

while writing his memoir(?) abt the witherstorm journey, he writes so many graphic descriptions abt stuff like petra's illness, inside of the witherstorm, the endermen and other mobs, etc. and asks jesse to read it for criticism and such and then they end up scarred and are like "HUH?? WHO HURT YOU????"

he likes holding his cat like a baby

he's the certified "music nerd" of the group. he thinks his taste is the best

speaking of, he likes stuff like will wood, tally hall/miracle musical, lemon demon, etc. and if anyone ever asks for music recommendations he just fucking appears without warning and talks abt music for three hours

whenever lukas is handed the aux he's like "YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR A BANGER?" and plays 2/3 of a song and talks abt it for another half of it and just does it over again with several songs in a row

played clarinet in middle school-high school band and never wanted to switch bc he was very attached to his instrument

he was also probably a theatre kid. and DEFINITELY a creative writing kid. maybe an art kid too

eventually he started playing electric guitar after school

he used to be *extremely* asocial and introverted, only willingly interacting with his cousin, petra, until he met the ocelots and slowly opened up in his late middle school/early high school years thanks to them

his parents weren't very present in his childhood

throughout most of his childhood he experienced lots of autism related speech loss and was nearly completely nonverbal, but after he started becoming friends with the ocelots, he slowly gained the ability to speak. he still experiences the occasional speech loss to this day, but he's much better than he was a while back

he's the youngest member of the order

one year on t

took a few classes with olivia at one point, but they never rlly talked. he might've glanced at her one or two times tho

picked up traditional art as an extra hobby, still mostly focuses on writing

he has severe gender dysphoria and has had top surgery, but refuses to get bottom surgery, simply bc he doesn't want to.cdespite this, he stills makes jokes abt having a cock

axel (they/he, bday may 7th)

met jesse before olivia met jesse

his music taste consists of only meme songs. the first time he was handed the aux, he played two trucks. the second time he was handed the aux, he rickrolled everybody. he is now banned from the aux.

he's the oldest member of the order

has no idea how sympathy works (real!)

olivia (she/they, bday apr 12th)

former gifted kid vibes. definitely went to a private school at some point

has always looked up to ellegaard since she was little

took a few classes with lukas at one point, but they never rlly talked. olivia prolly thought abt trying to talk to him at one point tho

major art kid vibes

3-4+ years on e, got bottom surgery a little more than a year ago

she drew jesse a picture of reuben shortly after his death to try and cheer them up

radar (he/they, bday oct 16th)

bisexual and questioning if he's non-binary

it's said that he is both jesse's assistant and and intern, so that could mean he's in high school. I debated for a little bit whether he would be a junior or senior but I decided that he would be one of the older juniors (around 17 years old)

sometimes he has to miss/be late to help jesse with work or whatever bc he has schoolwork to do

definitely a hardcore theatre kid.

it's also sorta implied that radar has some sort of crush on jesse so I like to imagine that jesse is like his celebrity crush or whatever. ofc that's never gonna go through as an actual relationship or whatever

radar does mention at one point that he loves seafood so I like to imagine he encourages jesse to try seafood with him and stuff. he also definitely isn't scared to try and actually likes some of the "weird" stuff (ex. tako)

he rlly trusts jesse and likes talking to him bc he doesn't rlly have a good outlet. I like to think jesse just listens/lets him vent

he tries to go help jesse as much as he possibly can bc his home life isn't particularly great (by that I mean it's terrible)

he's the type to go "SO FUNNY STORY-" and then traumadump like it's nothing (srsly get him some therapy)

definitely has a squishmallow collection AND keeps all the tags

[thedevilsoftruth]

I know this isn't what I usually post but I just want to take a second and say thank you to The Downward Spiral and Trent Reznor.

I wasn't born during the time this album was released, I'm gen z but my parents, teachers, and most adults I know love this album and have memories from when it was released. It's funny how that works, isn't it? How can a band be this big? It just goes to show just how influential NIN really is, and how much of an impact they had on people as they were releasing music.

My first ever experience with Nine Inch Nails was when I was eleven or twelve. We didn't have wifi in our house and I was listening to the radio when my parents weren't in the house. I remember closer coming on and immediately feeling a sense of pure dread. I was terrified of that track, I thought it was the scariest song ever. Even through the censored chorus, I could piece together what Trent was saying and I was... angry? I called my dad and I was screaming, " I CANT BELIEVE THEY WOULD PLAY THIS ON THE RADIO. THIS IS SOME DIRTY STUFF!! HES SAYING I WANNA EFF YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL. " But even though I was so angry I was also curious. I wondered what the name of the song was and I wanted to listen to it again. I never found out and it never came back to me. Until 2022.

In 2022 my uncle was driving me somewhere when I heard that song on the radio again. And again another time in the car. I went home, went to YouTube and searched it up and ended up on really liking it. Beginning of last year I HATED NIN. Absolutely despised them. Couldn't listen to them, they were too loud for me and I just had a burning hatred for them for some reason. But I got sick one day and was reading a bunch of Moon Knight comics in bed and listening to YouTube music when Scantified from PHM came on. And I was In love.

The smooth, sexiness of that funky bass line, the alluring element of Trent's voice, all mingled together and penetrating my virgin ears. Scantified was really the song that got me into NIN. I enjoyed closer but I LOVED Scantified. The same night I went and listened to PHM twice. Head like a hole, ring finger, the only time, terrible lie. Those were the songs that had me awesturck. I kept thinking, " somebody made this. This is real. " It was just too good to be true. The whole album had me awestruck. It was unlike anything I'd ever listened to before. I liked Depeche Mode, The Police, She Wants Revenge and Prince. But nothing. Nothing ever came close to listening to PHM for the first time.

And it just got better as I listened to even more of this band. The fragile was the second album I ever truly liked by NIN. I loved it so much I asked my father to buy me the CD for it and PHM on my birthday last year. In fact I loved the fragile more than I loved PHM. And then late November of last year is when I really gave The Downward Spiral a listen.

I came back right where I started. In the car, with the radio playing. Except this time I was flipping through the CDs my aunt had. That was when I saw a CD that stood out to me. It was sliver with a white spiral printed onto it. I looked down and saw a familiar logo printed onto it. I didn't recognize the CD.

" Nine inch nails? Which album is this? I didn't know you liked them. " I asked my aunt. She had a huge grin on her face and then told me to put it in. And from that moment on, my taste in music was completely changed.

From the second I heard the very first second of Mr Self Destruct, I knew I was in for a ride. What is that loud noise? Is someone being beat? And then we go straight into all of these loud, complex noises I can't even describe. With all these textures and layers, Trent's kind of quiet, but angry voice throught the song mingled with all this loudness going on in the background is just... Art. And then it gets quiet. And it jumps back into that madness.

But I think out of all the songs on this album, the ones that stood out to me the most were Reptile and Ruiner. Reptile... I just can't even describe why I love so much. I love ruiner because of its kickass solo and it's pure madness and hatred, but reptile. Reptile is the missing piece of the puzzle that was the story this album tell you. I could talk about the story of this concept album, but thats a whole different conversation for another time. There's something about Reptile that you can't find anywhere. Reptile is dark, sexy, confusing, seemingly quiet ( according to my aunt ) and just... When you hear i youre like, " what the fuck is this? What hell is going on. " But in a good way. In the nicest way possible. There's a certain heaviness of this song, and I'd argue that while it's not they're angriest it's probably one of their heaviest. And not just like metal heaviest, I really don't know how to describe it. The guitar riffs in this song, especially after Trent says, " get it " and " devils speak of the way in which shell manifest" I think I just actually ascend each time I hear it.

It actually feels illegal listening to The Downward Spiral. It feels illegal listening to Nine Inch Nails in general because of how good they are. Trent Reznor is actually the greatest musician of all time-- hell, the greatest producer of all time. Like how can someone just be this good? He's such an amazing person too.

The Downward Spiral is my friend in my time of need. It's the guy who I look to whenever I'm sad and need to let out my anger. I can't listen to it all the way through without becoming depressed-- but this album hit home for me. I remember Trent saying one time somewhere that he dosent know how to write lyrics. That's just crazy in my eyes because he writes things that are actually real. Each time I listen to The Downward Spiral I feel like I'm being sung my entire life and everything I've ever struggled with.

To finish off this post, thank you Trent. Thank you for the wonderful decades that you've been producing music and changing lives. And happy late birthday to The Downward Spiral. Can't believe I missed the birthday of one of my favorite albums of all time.

[ladybeug]

Alright so

It has been about 24 hours since i finished @peachcitts fanfiction metamorphosis and i spent at least 3 of those hours making a fanmix.

Listen, Im sorry, this is just who I am, Im someone who wants to make a playlist about a specific iteration of ml characters. Especially if there are some grey morals up in there.

read the fic, listen to the fanmix, follow me under the cut thats where the party is

...and by party I mean analytical summary of each song.

I'm about to talk about some of these choices I made in depth, as a treat for myself. An indulgence. I'll keep the fic references high level but there may be some theme/tone spoilers so real talk go read the fic and meet me back here.

@peachcitt I know I tagged you but this will get long you do not have to read it or acknowledge this homage just know I appreciated your story and thought a lot about it.

so.

the whole playlist is meant to be listened to start to finish, its half the tragedy and half the hard work to get your life right side up and the rewards.

I actively tried not to put Cry for Judas on here and i did ANYWAYS

its on so many of my playlists already, I'm loose with this song. But frankly if i could only keep it on one I would keep it on here. I mean I just don't think any other adrien iterations do things just to see how bad they'll make him feel QUITE like this one and i just HAD to have that as the first line of lyrics in the playlist.

I'm just also obsessed with sad and angry, can't learn how to behave?? The tragic acceptance of being unable to be good??

find me a better match. this song had to be on here and it had to be first.

Your Ghost - this might be the only song thats only about Marinette which is a crime because I really connected with her pov but the truth is that this is an adrien fanmix and i need to accept that.

But for real the acceptance but inability to move on in this song is just perfect.

Can't Lose - maybe the angriest song on here? A little angrier than I was going for but I had to keep this one though because, I mean, "I'm thinking I can't move if there isn't somewhere else to go?" like, the, 'sure what im doing is bad but what else IS there' of it, I mean, what can I even say. It had to be on here.

If you only listen to one song on here listen to Animal Mask.

It's a song about partners in a wrestling match written as a metaphor for when John Darnielle's wife was in labor, and its so tender and sweet, and frankly it sounds like it could have been written for metamorphosis for like every single flashback of ladybug and chat noir.

I could quote every line and be like 'this is them' but like, 'hold on,' I cried, 'I'll be right there', pulled your mask down through your hair. they won't see you, not until you want them to. What am I supposed to say?? It moves me deeply I'm having emotional problems please come join me. Every other song on this playlist doesn't matter.

Anyways intermission, while we're here, let me share this experience that I had today with you:

I did then proceed to count, was appropriately ashamed that about 25% of the playlist was mountain goats, and extremely painfully chose to remove 'oceanographer's choice'.

[tangent about Oceanographers Choice vs Haunted House]

As obsessed as I am with going straight from the unbearably tender memory in animal mask to oceanographer's choice, first line: "well, guy in a skeleton costume, walks up to a guy in a superman suit, runs through him with a broadsword", the anxious switch in music, and then straight into a song about a fucked up guy fighting the woman he is still complicatedly in love with.... and he doesn't know how else to be....

oh no, listen, as I typed that I half convinced myself to add it back in again

but I won't because I even more love the transit of animal mask to the shrill and tense line in Haunted House, "I was buried in the summer, all those parties ago", and then a confused and hysterical song about dissociation and loss of control in a world where nobody seems connected to what you're going through. The tone is more ungrounded, and scared, and less resigned. Which matches what I was going for - I tried to avoid songs that were just like... "yeah i'm evil >:) thats my identity"

[end tangent]

Little Pistol I feel like I barely have to justify, but I will say what really sold me is the reference to 'I want what's best for me, and I think I know just what that means'. But then also the slight change in tune at the end? Delicious?

The Run and Go, just read the fic ok

I Wanna Get Better is one that honestly feels like it doesn't fit perfectly but I'm really drawn to a sharp turning point in the playlist from 'bad and spiraling' to 'desperately clawing my way up' which is how reading the fic felt at a certain point, and this song feels like the perfect tonal shift and has the end-of-a-movie screaming conviction that I want. Its also just so good

Do it Anyways might be the second most important song... third most important? on this fanmix. The frantic, panicky music matched with the unwavering conviction to improvement is so unmatched honestly and if we're talking about how hard it is to be your best when you feel your worst, oh my god. Read the fic, listen at 2:44 and meet me back here and there's nothing else I even need to say

Absolute Lithops Effect.... I tricked you, this is also a mountain goats song :) its a cover though so I'm not counting it.

This is one of the most beautiful songs about hope for the future and growth that I know its very important to me. The title of the playlist comes from this song. Here's what you need to know about it:

Lithops are these:

They grow so slowly they don't look like they're growing at all. But they are.

Love Love Love: Ugh don't talk to me about love love love. I'm not going to explain how this connects to the fic. It does, I'm right. There's nothing I can say about this that can't be said better by Mr. Mountain Goats himself:

"The point of the song is, you know, that we are fairly well damaged by the legacy of the Romantic poets--that we think of love as this, you know, thing that is accompanied by strings and it's a force for good, and if something bad happens then that's not love. And the therapeutic tradition that I come from--I used to work in therapy--you know, also says that it's not love if it feels bad. I don't know so much about that. I don't know that the Greeks weren't right. I think they were--that love can eat a path through everything--that it will destroy a lot of things on the way to its own objective, which is just its expression of itself, you know. I mean, my stepfather loved his family, right? Now he mistreated us terribly quite often, but he loved us. And, you know, well, that to me is something worth commenting on in the hopes of undoing a lot of what I perceive as terrible damage in the way people talk about this--love is this benign, comfortable force. It's not that. It's wild, you know?" — NPR interview with Linda Wertheimer, 14 May 2005

Metamorphosis: okay this one I added to make myself laugh but I also stand by it thematically

SUPERBLOOM: Don't we all deserve a little celebration for the hard work we do?

Anyways this is my fanmix, if you read to here I love you and you're welcome for all the mountain goats songs I peeled off of here that I didn't even tell you about. I didn't even put heel turn 2 on here. Whoops ok now i've told you about that one.

[phoenix-positivity]

Hey,

I am struggling with PTSD and my anger. It led to some destructive things lately and in the past. I need advice or reassurance for how to deal with it.

Thank you

Hi, I hope it's okay to answer this publicly so I can share the answer with others as well. If not please message me and I'll take it down.

I just made this 'masterlist' of anger worksheets

Intense anger is a valid emotion. Just make sure you are not hurting yourself or others when expressing it! Take a step back from the situation that triggered the anger and try to let out the anger in healthy ways. Please walk away from other people if you feel like you might act your anger out on others. When at work you can excuse yourself to the bathroom, or if possible you can go for a walk outside. Let others know you need some time alone to collect your thoughts if they follow you. In the worst case scenario it's still better to storm out of a room in angrily than to let the anger explode in the room with other people. You can always apologize for storming out later when you've calmed down and are ready to communicate your feelings calmly. In digital environments, remove yourself from your computer/phone/game console until you are in a calm state of mind again. Anger prevents us from making rational decisions. Honestly the key factor in avoiding conflicts is to step away from the interaction when anger arises. That's not a weakness, that's the reasonable smart thing to do.

My favourite ways to let out anger: breaking harmless things such as twigs, ripping out grass in a field, ripping up carton or paper, kneading/tearing into this big stress ball I have, biting down on a towel or chewlery, punching something that will not hurt your hands when punched and will not cause property damage (a mattress, a really squishy plushie or just a boxing ball). Refrain from causing damage to yourself, others or objects that do not belong to you. (and preferably only damage objects that you acquired with the intention to destroy like carton boxes and twigs you found outside).

Also never underestimate the power of just straight up screaming (I also tried to learn grunting for this purpose but you need to do this safely not to damage your vocal cords). You can scream into a pillow or inside of your car as to not bother or worry other people. You can also 'fake scream' by opening your mouth and screaming silently. This still puts tension on your vocal chords which can bring the same relief as actually screaming without the sound. Singing can feel just as good as screaming, especially if you can let out lyrics that you really relate to. Just simply listening to heavier genres of music with angry lyrics really helps too. (I have a lot of songs on my blog tagged with 'trauma song' if you need inspiration for some good angry songs) Moving your body to music that expresses your angry feelings also helps let out that pent up energy. Doing exercise also helps some people (think jumping jacks, squats, push-ups, going for a run outside) Also to come back to the vocals, hissing, snarling and growling like an animal are also really good ways to express intense anger, but you might want to be alone when you do these. Making art really expressively can also be a great outlet for anger.

There will obviously be situations where you can't remove yourself from the situation immediately and have to survive a small moment before you can leave the situation. (think about car rides, being behind a register at your job, etc) This is going to sound childish but counting to ten does help. I usually count in a different language so that I need to focus on the numbers more. It's not going to take your anger away, but it's mostly so to give yourself some room to try and calm down from the impulsive thoughts and actions you might want to do. I repeat mantras in my head that go somewhat like this 'stay calm, stay reasonable, don't lash out at, calm down, take a breathe, stay zen' just to prevent my anger from escalating in that moment and by holding myself accountable for my actions. I remind myself I'm not allowed to damage other people's properties (or other people, ha) and that it will get me in trouble. I also try to tell myself that acting on my angry impulses will not solve the situation and will only add fuel to the fire. Then as soon as the opportunity arises to find a quiet place to calm down I will take it and do some breathing exercises until my head is capable of having more reasonable thoughts.

You are not alone in your feelings of anger. Feeling angry doesn't mean you are a bad person, but you are responsible for your behavior when you are angry. Our feelings of anger can never be the reason others (or property) ends up hurt. (the only case where I would argue otherwise is if you are in a physical fight where you got attacked and are defending yourself, but even in these cases running/escaping/hiding would be safer because fighting back can aggravate an attacker even more)

Also if we do end up causing damage during angry outbursts we need to take accountability and apologize. (I put a link there to a worksheet for how to write a good apology) And the other party is not required to forgive us even if we are remorseful.

I hope some of that was helpful for you!

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, October 12th, 2024.

What happened last night? Not much. It was a pretty typical night for me. I ate dinner, cleaned the litter boxes, chatted with my dad for a bit, then went upstairs to listen to part of a podcast before getting ready for bed.

Who is the last boy you hugged? My dad.

What was the last thing you thought? I was trying to think of the last guy I hugged who wasn't my dad and realized I have absolutely no idea.

What are you thinking about right now? How one of my kitties would rather walk across my desk/keyboard than curl up on my lap. I think she's finally settling down, though.

Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? No.

Would you consider yourself spoiled? I would consider myself very fortunate to have the life I do, but I wouldn't consider myself spoiled.

What was the last text you sent? It was a text to my dad to let him know I was on the way home from the animal shelter earlier.

Do you break things when you are mad? I have in the past. Definitely not my proudest moments.

Whose hoodie did you last wear besides your own? I don't think I've ever worn a hoodie that wasn't mine.

Did something happen today that made you angry? Ever so slightly frustrated, but nowhere near angry.

What did you do today? I woke up shortly before 5:00am, watched some Youtube, took a shower and got dressed around 5:30am, ate breakfast while reading Youtube comments, got my bag ready, and then I sat in the family room and talked with my dad until 7:00am. Drove to the animal shelter and was there from around 7:20am-11:30am. Drove home, took a shower, had lunch (with yet more Youtube comment reading), cleaned the upstairs bathroom, and then picked out this survey to take.

What did you do Friday night? Last night was Friday night, so I already mentioned it above.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? Terrified.

Are you lying to yourself about something? I'm feeling confused/conflicted about certain things, but I don't think I'm lying to myself. I'm just trying to take the necessary time to figure out how I really feel.

Is your bed comfortable? It seems that way, but I often wake up stiff and achy. Maybe I'm just getting older, maybe it's my sleeping positions, or maybe I need a better pillow.

Does it take a lot to make you happy? No. The littlest things can bring me a lot of joy. Cuddling with my cats. Feeling cozy and cute in my favorite outfits. Shopping for and eating holiday treats. Snowy, rainy, or cloudy weather. Picnicking at the Mountain Park. All the kitties at the animal shelter. A relaxing drive while listening to classical music. Autumn leaves. New podcasts from my faves. Memes and silly videos from my best friend. Spending time with my dad. Etc.

Your best friend says to you now, “let's go to a party and get trashed!”? I would assume it was a joke, like there was an incoming punchline, because that's not something either one of us are inclined to enjoy.

Who knows mainly all of your secrets? My dad, my therapist, Oliver, and one of my ex-partners.

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind now? There are a number of people "on my mind" thanks to this survey. It's not anyone specific. Some I can go a day without thinking about, and some I cannot.

What were you doing at 1 in the morning? I was sleeping.

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find? Several pillows and blankets, a book, and two of my kitties.

Were you single over last summer? Yeah.

Has anyone ever told you, you have pretty eyes? Yeah.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? No.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I don't know. A few.

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head? The rainbow cat hide-away we have at the shelter. It disappeared for a while, but I found it again the other day…only for it to disappear again…

Is the person you last texted single? Yeah.

Was last night terrible? No. There was nothing terrible about it. It was just a normal, chill night.

[vanadiumheart]

What’s your go-to CRJ song when you need a good cry?

I'm glad you asked me this! I am about to provide. Too much information

My sincerest answer (altho don't get it twisted, all of this is going to be sincere) is that 1. It depends on what you need to cry about or for! And 2. Straight up sometimes I will just start craving a particular song when I need it. Lyrics start leaking into my thoughts and that's how I know to go play that until I feel able to stop.

It also depends on your personal relationship to CRJ and her music. What hits for me may not feel the same for you.

All that being said, if you want more specifics by God have I got specifics for you....come this way nothing bad will happen I prommy

OK SO I made a haphazard list and then tried to sort them by Theme, more or less. Here we go.

First need to cry: Being a homosexuale, reconnecting w Jepsen and her music, Like, sheer beauty and Artistry

1. Boy Problems. Boy Problems is maybe My CRJ song. It and the accompanying music video are what made me realize I needed to listen to this artist. This needed to take up a good percentage of my brain. Returning to this song reminds me how Carly's music speaks to my heart. Also her little mullet and the sparkle dress? 😳

2. Joshua Tree sounds like looking up into the night sky

3. Felt This Way's chorus makes me feel like I'm being liquefied and if I turn wrong everything in my skull will pour out onto the ground (this is a positive e•mo•tion)

Honorable mention to Heartbeat, a sound like lavender and drinking ice water in the dark of night

Next need to cry: Unspeakable Fucking Heartache

These are all songs that I have personally needed to put on individual repeat until the howling inside me stopped for a while

1. For Sure. Do you ever go through your first lesbian breakup and you're afraid you're going to be lesbian alone forever and then CRJ has an album come out immediately after and it's speaking directly to you, Vada, you personally? Yeah....me neither...

2. Too Much. Is this too much? Am I too close? 'Cause--

3. Keep Away. Dear fucking god. What did she put in here. What did she put in this. If I suddenly go limp and my phone rolls delicately out of my slack hand and shatters on the floor, like I'm a dainty debutante that's been Poisoned in her Chambers. Know it was Carly, and I accept responsibility. She caught me slipping

Today's third and final cry: HEARTBREAK (assorted!)

1. First Time is an easy one to offer. It's sad, it's straightforward, it still kind of makes you want to sing and dance even as you're sprawled out on your bed, informing the CRJ of your mind's eye that it is, in fact, the first time. Maybe the first time it's happened to anyone ever at all. Then again how did she write this if that was true.

2. The Sound. Ouuuughhhh. Righteous anger. Love IS more than telling me you want it!!!!!! And Carly can remind you that you deserve better

3. Roses. The music in Roses makes me want to writhe around on the ground, and you can shout the chorus along with her

Can you tell I'm losing steam...but we persist

4. Right Words Wrong Time is so good. It's an acceptance of sorrow--he's never going to be what she needs when she needs it. The end sounds like an angelic chorus demanding you leave. Augh.

5. I'll Be Your Girl is so fucking sad. It's angry and jealous and I always think of it in conjunction with Your Type, because where Your Type is about defying the desire to change to hold on to somebody, I'll Be Your Girl is about indulging in that feeling. It hurts to identify with it, stings just a little bit.

In conclusions

It's depends. I hope this answered your question! 💛

[vannahfanfics]

Hi its me again, could i pleace get a  Naruto Matchup

Im around 5'7(169cm-170cm (1,69,8cm) my name is Dana (Dana Marie),(im 24 but if its ok for you you can match me with anyone),a Woman/she/her,Bi curious but i usaly prefer mans and i was never in a Relationsship with a Woman,from Germany,pale skin,pear shaped figure with curves(i hate my legs i think they too chubby)i have a extremely small waist ,long curly/wavy(they can't decide😅sometimes it's even almost straight,without me doing something) gold blonde/dirty blonde hair (usaly in a bun) and pale greenish eyes(sometimes they are even Aquamarine,sometimes there very intense Green),i have dimples and wear glasses. I have scars on my left arm. And a small light pink 3D Butterfly tattoo on the inside, below of my right calf.

Infp-t,i have a mild form of autism but it's not really noticeable,ambivert,Im open minded(my friends say they can always be themself around me) caring and very nice(sometimes to nice that i get hurt) i always try to help someone and be always there for someone,insecure,usaly im calm but i can talk like a Waterfall sometimes, my parents say that i'm a bumpkin and sometimes speak a little loudly when I'm excited or angry😅, forgiving,kinda stubborn,a little hotheaded sometimes,dreamy, tolerant,im very muddle-headed(but not stupit i have an IQ from 135)and very clumsy,im humorous,i can be very quick-witted sometimes and everyone is surprised,i hate to hurt people(in any way)but if someone hurt my family/friends im very Protectiv. Lovingly sassy/a little tease sometimes. Sometimes i'm to honest and just say very blunt what i think but my friends/family know that i never mean what i say in a mean way and i don't even notice that it could be misunderstood/hurt someone. Im very loyal. I am sometimes very emotional but can also come across as very emotionless sometimes even if I am not (I cry about simple things sometimes in a movie but i have trouble to cry infront of someone by emotional stuff). I can good empathize with other people's feelings if I want to. I often complain about my physical health like an old woman but everyone thinks that it's funny and old people feel young in my presence😅. I know how i get what i want(it can be in a very Smart and creative way or I annoy a person until I get what I want😅).

My best friend once said I look like an aggressive stubborn hamster going to War if im angry, but as soon someone hurt my Family im a fiery Tiger. I don't often have arguments,it's very rare.

I am an open book and you can ask me anything, if I am comfortable with a person. For someone at my age i have a big fantasy (i don't mean in a Pervert way, and not in a childish way i think).Im also slithly "scared"of doing something wrong and try to do everything right,and ask often questions to make sure. I tend to over do it with presents. I tend to be a perfectionist with my drawings but with everything else i try only half-heartedly unless i do something for someone i like.If someone is hurt i will take care of them like a Nurse/Mother.

Im very supportive. If i give Hugs it's something special,i do that very rare,because...i feel awkward (Not in a relationship)..i never got many hugs or stuff like that in my live,i like them but im not used to them.

I hate/don't like(or im scared of): crowds,heights, the darkness, clowns and grasshopers and to be somethere i never be there alone,im not the biggest fan of sports (except for soccer, swimming, badminton, dancing and a game that you play with a basketball it's called 24 i think).Sticky stuff,Sand/Dirt, My sense of direction is as good as that of a potato. I hate if something is unfair or someone ignoring me. I hate arrogant narcissistic people. I don't like sudden changes that much, sometimes it's hard for me to deal with them.

Hobby's/I like: to Sleep/Daydream,to draw (Anime or i try realistic)to listening to music sometimes i forget myself if i draw or daydream and i start to sing or dance. I love to play board games. i can play the piano and can draw,i love roses (i'm a bit obsessed with everything that has to do with roses😅),i like stargazing,i like to eat strawberrys and Chocolate and meat,i like trampolin jumping and to listening to music when im on it,to swim,movies/Games,to read english,to learn languages,i like dogs i have one a crazy bishon frise girl named Elli,teoreticaly i can cook and bake kinda good but im to Lazy to do it or to do it alone, i like almost any Music besides of havy Metal and other exceptions,i also like classic Music but it makes me sleepy😅

Love Language/how im in a Relationsship: first im kind of shy about skin ships but i like them (how much depents on the day,on one day it's only small skin ships but on another day/Minute I could tackle the person with cuddles and kisses and rave about the person like a crazy woman,but usaly only in privat and after we are togehter for at least 2 Months, after more time i also show my "weird" side)and if im tired or sick i get cuddly (but i don't like to cuddle when i want to sleep,unless its extremely cold),i like to messing up the hair of someone i like or playing with them (it's relaxing to me,but i only do that than i know the person longer, i also like if the the person do the same with me, i feel small and i get sleepy when someone play with my hair),i love forehead kisses, i tend to spend too much money on the person i like or are in a relationship with and overdo it with gifts. Im always there for the Person and Support them no matter by what. After i know the person longer i tend to be very honest and im also a big tease in any way. Im also very  patient in a relationship. Im kind of Motherly and pemper the person i love.

What is important for Me about the Person: The Person must be Loyal,should have humor and be patient with me should accept me as the person i am,must not be violent/rude against me (When someone angry yells at me, I may reflexively cry sometimes), should support me. If he can tease me sometimes a bit. A bit Banter.

(I have a little soft spot for gentlemanly actions, like if someone holds the door open for me or give me his jacket because he sees im freezing...,i get a light crush right away for a short amount of time)

My goal: is to have many childrens and to get Married, to finally find someone who loves me for who I am and doesn't lie to me and is loyal.I also hope that People like my Drawings. (I have a 2 years old Son and im currently pregnant with a little girl, if this info makes it difficult to match me you can ignore it)

I hope i did nothing wrong or forgot something, and thank you very much in advance😊

All righty! Moving on with your next match-up for Naruto:

I match you with...

Choji Akimichi from Naruto!

After reading your bio, it seems to me that this handsome fella is the guy for you! You two have a lot in common, and I feel like he fits the bill for a lot of qualities you look for in a person. So let's jump into the analysis:

Choji's not one to care about appearances; to him, it's the heart that matters. But that's not gonna stop him from constantly reminding you how gorgeous you are! Everybody loves compliments, after all, and he also wants to make sure you know just how cherished you are. You're a goddess in his eyes, and he's gonna worship the ground at your feet!

As I mentioned, personality is a big draw for Choji. We all know that Choji has a heart of gold, and so he's definitely going to appreciate that you are similarly open-minded and compassionate! He also thinks those moments when you're dreamy and absent-minded are super adorable; while you're staring off into space, he'll be staring at you, equally lost in how in love with you he is! You'd think he wouldn't be one to go for people with sassy and fiery tendencies, but look who his teammates are. He thinks it's so badass how protective you get over the people you care about, and he'll definitely be in your corner! He's not really one for banter, but don't worry about teasing him; he knows you do it in jest, and occasionally, he will surprise you with a witty quip of his own!

Choji is very understanding when it comes to your insecurities; he has his own, after all. So he's gonna put a lot of effort into making sure your perfectionism/fear of messing up doesn't get in the way of you knowing how awesome he thinks you are! He'll be there, always reminding you of how capable and talented you are. And he is a well of patience; he never gets angry or yells and is always willing to talk things out with a calm and level head. It's a great quality for navigating the rocky parts of relationships that always come around.

Choji's a lot like you when it comes to relationships. He's pretty shy at first, very conscious about not overstepping boundaries and flustered at the idea of displaying affection. After you grow more comfortable, so will he! Once he opens up, he very much loves to cuddle, kiss, and otherwise be lovey-dovey. <3 Choji also loves to give gifts, and he definitely believes that food is the way to the heart (it's definitely the way to his!). He'll always be getting you little snacks, cooking you delicious meals, and getting you chocolate for every holiday. So, please, return the favor in kind! Feed this man!

Choji is so good with kids, given how much time he spent around Mirai! Just like with you, he's a paragon of patience and never gets mad at them, and he believes in talking things out with kids to get them to understand why things are a certain way. He loves to play, too, especially good ol' rough-and-tumble games like wrestling and tag and the like. And your doggo? Catch Choji snoozing in a recliner with your pooch fast asleep on his belly. It's the best way to nap! :)

You mentioned that you like to sleep and/or daydream. Well, so does Choji!

Naps are a vital part of life, in Choji's opinion. And the guy can fall asleep anywhere: in a chair, on the floor, outside, on tables, in places you would think it is impossible to sleep. He does it! And he loves to get you to snooze with him!

You don't have to sleep if you don't want to. Choji is perfectly content to just have you curled up beside him, listening to music or drawing or just daydreaming away. It's less about the act of sleeping and more about spending some nice, relaxing time with you! Sometimes, he won't even sleep himself; he'll just lay there contentedly, watching you draw or do whatever you're doing.

He's the most cuddly when he's tired. If you're napping with him, expect him to be glued to your side! He loves to spoon, loves to hold you close, but he also loves it if you let him lay his head in your lap and snooze while you're watching T.V. or something. He loves feeling close to you, and you're so soft and warm. <3

Pillow forts? Pillow forts! Choji loves to make these, and he knows how to make big elaborate ones that are so cozy and inviting. Whether it's a romantic date night or a fun night with you and your kids, pillow forts are always his go-to! He'll even build one outside if you want to spend the evening stargazing.

Bottom-line is, Choji believes in rest. So don't be surprised when you start to overwork yourself that Choji literally drags you away to catch a light nap. He's not afraid to use his strength against you, pick you up, carry you wherever, and then hold you tight so you can't go anywhere! He won't relinquish until you agree to take a break, and he won't fall asleep himself until he's sure you have. Let him take care of you! >:(

And, here is the drabble for your Tier III match-up! Sorry to prey on your poor sense of direction, but I thought it would be a nice way to illustrate just how patient and understanding Choji is! <3 Enjoy:

"We're definitely lost."

Your lips pull into a guilty frown while you look from your cellphone map to the street and back again. Your sense of direction is so abysmal that you have to rely on G.P.S. to get you anywhere unfamiliar, but it seemed that the app has failed you. It happens from time to time, but it feels even worse when you're actually trying to lead someone somewhere instead of just get there on your own.

"I'm sorry, Choji," you sigh and turn to him with a pitifully remorseful look. "I can't believe I got us lost! You've been raving about this restaurant all week, and I just can't find it!" Quite honestly, you expected him to be disappointed, and so you prepared yourself for a dejected frown. Heck, he even might get irritated with you. This wasn't the first time you'd gotten them lost looking for a new place to have a date, and he had every right to be fed up with the repeated mistakes.

"Hey, it's no big deal." Ever the king of patience, Choji just smiles and winds his arm around your shoulders to give you a reassuring squeeze. "It happens to everybody." When you just poke your bottom lip out even more, he encourages you with a laugh, "We don't have to go to that restaurant! I like surprises. Let's see what's around here instead."

Your self-loathing can't compete with Choji's sunny agreeableness. You hate when things didn't go according to plan, but something about Choji's easy-going approach to everything made hiccups like this far more tolerable. When he starts guiding you down the sidewalk to peruse the various shops and restaurants, you already have a little smile worming its way onto your mouth.

You meander halfway down the street, and Choji suddenly stops with an excited cry.

"Look at that! A BBQ joint!" he crows excitedly while gesturing at the sign. When he glances at you, his eyes were bright with glee. "Now I'm glad we got lost. This is even better than the place we were gonna go to originally."

"You're just saying that," you accuse, your pout returning with a vengeance.

"Nuh-uh," he insists while steering you toward the door. "Meat is the best! I'm so looking forward to this BBQ right now, I don't even remember why I was excited about the other place."

You laugh at his rebuke, and you find yourself believing it, too. He just looks so excited, like a kid who'd stumbled across a candy store; besides, Choji never lies to you. He always looked on the bright side of things, so if he was saying he liked that things had worked out this way, he meant it.

And you already know what he's going to say when he smiles brightly at you.

"It doesn't matter where we go, anyway. As long as I'm with you, I'm the happiest guy in the world!"

What did you do to deserve this man? You would ask, but he'd just laugh and say that he asks the same thing about you.

Interested in a commission? Check out this post!

[unadulterated-syd]

ah words cant explain how excited i am for this!!! please can i request a male boy meets world matchup???

i know you know all of this by now but i’ll send it all again just as a reminder <3 i go by she/her pronouns. my name is florence but most people call me flo or other nicknames. i’m a fair skinned 5’3 girl with long curly gold hair that is cut in 90s layers with long side bangs. it’s typically held off my face with a ballet pink coloured ribbon. i have downturned doe eyes that are constantly switching between blue, green and grey. i always curl my lashes and wear mascara because sadly naturally i have very straight pale lashes. i have a slim, slight figure. my face only has a few freckles but i have a lot on my body. i have a small ring of freckles on my knuckle which i love!!! my cheeks are always flushed and i have a small gap betweeen my front 2 teeth.

i’m extremely physically affectionate. my friends irl will tell anyone that because i’m nearly always holding their hands or looping my arms with theirs. my love language is definitely physical touch. i’m an infp and a libra. i also get told that my personality reminds people of miss honey or cinderella. so i guess that means i’m pretty soft spoken and kind. i’m very quiet when i first meet people but once they probably know me i can ramble for ages about my hyper-fixations.i can be kinda naive but only because i always wanna see the good in people!!! i don’t really get angry or when i am angry i just end up crying.

i really love classic literature and vintage books!!! along with vintage movies (especially audrey hepburn movies, i’m literally obsessed with her) i love alternative music from the 80s. think the smiths, blondie, echo and the bunnymen + not from the 80s lana <333 though to be fair i just adore anything from the past. but also i thrive listening to vintage love songs. i dress in a very typically feminine way with ditsy floral patterns and lace being a staple in my wardrobe. i love pressed flowers and journaling.

omg thank you do much im literally so excited for this

i think you'll be excited to hear these ones tehe !!

since i made you wait so long + i don't remember your preference !! i gave you a gal and a guy :))

also i totally think i said this to you last time but you're literally like the coolest person ever???

I give you,,

-> Eric Matthews !!

obviously i have to give you Eric,, because it works so well on different levels

a. you're both emotional people,, i mean think u guys argue and then you guys just cry together because it was stupid and there's no way either of u could be gen mad ☹️💓

b. you'd be different from the normal relationships he has,, like you guys actually connect rather than looks alone + that's why it lasts,, because he really liked you

c. friends to lovers bc he'd like not think of you romantically until he says something to jack or corey and they make fun of him for "being in love"

d. he'd listen to any music i think,, you play it and he'll just enjoy it he doesn't care

e. he would LOVE to listen to hyperfixations + it takes him awhile to understand so he finds it really nice that u treat him intellectually equal,, like taking the time to explain certain things to him

f. you could befriend morgan and she'd love ur aesthetic let's be honest

g. plus you're both naive so neither one of you feels guilty if you accidentally fall for something,, like emotionally you guys get one another there!!

h. also he LOVES physical affection,, like you're both constantly touching each other in some way. but not in a way that makes others uncomfortable if that makes sense??

i. lastly,, he's very compassionate so id just see u both as being insufferable + movie night and you're both just abnoxiously sobbing over something small (super silly to me but Corey would complain the WHOLE time)

i give you,,

-> angela moore !!

i was inbetween angela and rachel here,, but i decided angela,, here's why !

a. she's canonically really into literally, poetry, classic literature,, so the two of you already share a huge part of interest together. analyzing works + reading together >>

b. golden retriever and blackcat gfs !!

c. i think angela would really like the type of movies your into,, and i think she would sit there comforting you after movies like "hon theyre not real are you ok???"

d. she doesn't get how you cry when you're angry,, but she also adores it in a way?? like she's very used to arguments getting heated but you guys have a very open line of communication bc of the way you handle things??

e. you guys would 50/50 music i think,, somedays it's yours all day and some it's hers rather than arguing over it. like you both LIKE each other's music enough to be like "okay you can play it today"

f. she likes how clingy you are affection wise,, goes out of her way to like always hold ur hand or smthn so you're comfortable !!

g. will protect u from anyone who tries to take advantage of u,, she's really good at reading people in that way + she doesn't make you feel less

h. also u guys are like polar opposites aesthetic wise,, and so u guys literally just surprise people when they find out you're together + she finds it really funny

hope this was worth the wait!!! :DD

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/757777034966712320/my-swiftie-fandom-comes-in-like-a-waves-i-got?source=share

16-year-old anon from earlier, and yeah, same! If you'll allow me to rant for a minute (though I may have already done so in the past) here is MY experience as a Taylor Swift fan over the years:

First remember being aware of who she is around Red/1989. I think the first song I heard was IKYWT and it was on the radio. From that point I would find any Taylor-related content on YouTube. This included music videos, interviews, parodies, the occasional bit of gossip (the only tidbit I remember pre-rep was Calvin at the Massage place that gave happy endings😭), and of course, speed-up versions of her songs because this was pre her adding her catalogue BACK to streaming, not that I WAS streaming at age 7, but yk.

I had a vague knowledge of some of her boyfriends. I knew Harry (duh) and Calvin (also kind of duh) and Joe Jonas. I knew of the Jonas Brothers (mainly cause of the purity ring jokes, which if we're being fr is their main legacy) and I also knew he did Cake By The Ocean which was EVERYWHERE circa 2016. I don't think I knew he'd dated Taylor, though. I think I also only found out about Hiddles and that whole circus around Rep.

Around 2015ish i saw a 1989 CD at Target and asked my mum to buy it. I then got a Red CD soon after. Cut to 2016/2017, Taylor's music isn't being played on the radio, and my 9(?) year old self is sad and confused. I knew nothing of the #taylorswiftisoverparty. I just knew they weren't playing her music anymore. Cut to 2017 - i, alongside the rest of the world, sat and watched the LWYMMD music video. I also remember watching the lyric video and being scared by the snake😭

After this, I tried very hard to listen to rep in full, but had no idea where to find it. One night, I was a scrolling on YT and found Delicate (or Dress), and then came across Better Than Revenge. My 9/10 year old self was SCANDALISED and VERY confused, as I had never seen the Speak Now album cover in. my. life. and thought she had already put out an album. Anyway, sometime between the release of Rep & Lover, I stopped seeking stuff out. When the Lover singles came out I hated ALL of them. From memory, ME! felt like a personal violation (I was BIG into PAN!C at the time, and hated that the song was so ass - though, in retrospect, the stuff of theirs (later work. Very little early stuff) that I listened to was objectively worse), Lover (song) was boring, and You Need To Calm Down made me viscerally angry due to me starting to realise I was not straight and desperately trying to believe I was wrong. I did not seek out Lover the way I had done Rep and was, at this point, a genuine anti.

Then folklore came out and people RAVED about it, so I decided to check it out. I liked it, but didn't click with it in the way other people had. It did inspire me to check out her back catalogue + rep/Lover. By the time evermore dropped I was IN IT, and I became even more in it upon hearing evermore. I got very involved in fandom culture (also got very into Glee... you can imagine what the combination inspired in 13 year old me), until around 2022, when I began being frustrated with Taylor’s jets and perfomatitive activism. I once again went anti (I also got very into Stranger Things around this time, specifically Max... played by Sadie Sink... Taylor Swift is the only constant in this world). Then, she reeled me back in with the Midnights marketing campaign. Once again, I was there the second it dropped (as I have been for all of her releases since evermore). WCS broke my brain (as right where you left me had the year prior) and I had no choice but to go FULL swiftie. And since then I've maintained it pretty solidly.

That's about it. If you've read through to here, thank you🙏 hopefully you found it interesting/somewhat entertaining.

that’s fair! It’s okay to like stuff more at certain stages and super fucking normal of you xx

I will also say that some of the stuff I say on here is probably not super age appropriate for my younger anons lol but at the same time I do try to be cognizant of y’all and idk it’s real life so I also try not to encourage people to do stupid shit. *I* have done stupid shit but that doesn’t mean you guys should. I do sometimes worry I glamorize like unhealthy behaviors and I hope y’all have the sense not to do a lot of the shit that I’ve done 💀

[reckling-turtle]

I keep letting this shit happen to me where I put everything I have into one person because they make me feel needed and I like helping them and I feel special and happy but then something happens and either they don't provide the same level of support when I need it or once they've had their fill of me they just straight up bail

And it sucks. Especially this time where, up until last week, I thought things would get better but now I'm quickly realizing that either they can get help from somewhere else and I'm not needed or they don't want help at all and they're icing me out for whatever other reason. And this was someone who had been my closest friend for 2 1/2 years, who fucking promised me she wouldn't do this because she knew how much it hurt the last time this happened with someone else

And now I'm thinking back to all those times when she was more than willing to take from me and I let her become the center of my universe for so long, bc being accepted and known by her meant everything to me. And I would let her take more and more of my time, I remember her telling me I was all she had and she was jealous whenever I spent time with other people because that meant she wouldn't get a text back from me

But when I tell her I miss her, when I tell her I've been thinking about her and I miss sitting and talking for hours or just getting a fucking like responding to a meme I send, I'm the bad guy bc I'm taking up her time and she's busy and she has a life and she can't be online all the time and now it's been over a week since I've heard from her aside from a stupid fucking post she sent on Twitter about how some friends can come and go in your life and you can pick up right where you left it

So now I'm over here wondering if she's just dropping me right now and thinking in a year or two or five or whatever, when she's bored again and needs someone to talk to, THEN she'll acknowledge my existence

And before this used to make me so sad and question my self worth but now I'm just so fucking pissed at myself for not calling her out on this behavior when I had the chance, not telling her how upset this makes me and how shitty it feels being the on-call friend

And I keep getting up in the morning, hours before my alarm is set to go off, because I dream that she'll message me and apologize without any prompting and things will be okay again and instead I'm stuck here on holiday break, overthinking and getting overwhelmed and listening to sad music and feeling like shit for still caring about our old RP and OCs when I know I'll never get another reply, their story will never get finished, I will always be the one carrying them with me while she goes off doing god knows what

It's stupid in the midst of everything else going on to even care about role-playing and fantasy worlds and all that stuff but it truly became my escape for stress and a way to work out problems for myself through a safe setting but now even that is gone and I just feel so angry and empty

[sweetrebelpersona]

Monday 19th February 2024

You can look up and hope things are going better for today. It was for the rest of the morning until the middle of the afternoon when my anxiety levels reached through the roof once again. I'm learning to control it, but at least it is a better day than what it is before.

Still, look up and think you will fight the nervousness until you can overcome it. I can still fight it before next week.

Work:

Continued my draft soundtrack case study

Took Industry Practice notes

Answered questions from Nottingham-based rapper, songwriter and graffiti artist Kid Acne

Took part in rehearsal and musicianship sessions

Play/Self-Care:

Got a McDonald's Medium Wrap Meal with a water bottle

Took walks all day around uni

Wandered around the Vic Centre shops

Listened to music from piano playing

Anyways, the hardest part about answering questions in a conversation is when you can't answer the question and instead stay silent or go in a mental state. That is something I don't want to do in the future when I am speaking to someone if I feel sad, angry or worried.

What about a lack of common sense in a conversation? Only a smart person should know what common sense means because most people behave with a well-mannered personality with trust, sympathy, kindness and loyalty, whilst some of them misbehave and treat brainy people like arseholes straight from the Planet Jackass. We people should behave well in the creative arts of music, not act out and throw these diva meltdowns on the stage.

Apologies for the coarse language, but I would love to be on stage when I'm not in a mental state -- failure in doing that will turn me into a show-shopping psychopath which is something The Joker would be happy about if he had not been picking on Batman all his life as a criminal.

[9haharharley1]

It's just really funny to me to think that Sephiroth doesn't have any music taste whatsoever because of the way he was raised. Like his exposure to music comes exclusively from other people, but he can't connect with it all.

The scientists listed to classical music exclusively if they listened to it all while he was in growing up in the labs, and I think he would have negative associations with it.

Then along comes Genesis with his indie music, and we all know he owns every copy and has seen every version ever of Loveless, which includes at least 2 different musical adaptations that he adores, probably one more than the other, and he's gonna force his friends to listen to them whether they like it or not.

Angeal probably doesn't have much of a preference for what he listens to, but it probably leans more towards classic rock and what would be the equivalent of 80's/dad rock. Sephiroth can vibe with that. He starts leaning more towards Angeal's tastes without really noticing it, but he can't quite connect to it.

Then Zack enters the picture, and he brings with him the top 40 pop songs and alternative punk. Stuff like late 90s/early 00's mix. It's still not right. Their voices sound a little too whiney, but their words paint a picture and resonate with the feelings Sephiroth has never been able to convey.

It's not until one day he runs into Zack in the Firsts' cafeteria, separate from the other levels of SOLDIER and infantry, and he's sitting with this tiny little thing. He can't be much older than 15. He's definitely not in the SOLDIER program, and he's wearing the infantry uniform with helmet on the table next to his food (far superior than the slop they feed infantry and troopers), and there's a little music player on the table between them. The volume is low, the words indistinguishable, but he's never heard such angry sounding music before. Curious, he walks over and sits across from Zack and the tiny trooper.

The little blond jumps and stutters over a quick salute, Zack gives him a cheery greeting and tells the little thing to relax.

"What is that?" Sephiroth asks, and he points to the portable radio.

Zack raises an eyebrow at him. "What, you've never seen a radio before?" He's teasing, but Sephiroth ignores it.

"I know that," he says, and his curiosity raises as he tries to make out the words to the song playing. "What is the music? I've never heard it."

"I-It's metal," the tiny blond speaks up through his nerves, and Sephiroth's gaze goes to him. The boy squeaks, his face goes red, but Sephiroth appreciates that he manages to hold his gaze.

"What's metal?"

The blonde's eyes widen, but before he can explain, Zack says simply, "It's angry growling into a microphone."

If the scowl his friend is giving him means anything, then Zack is only teasing again, probably over this same subject they've probably talked about before.

"It's not that simple, Zack, and you know it."

Zack grins at him, nudging his shoulder. "Do enlighten us then, oh wise chocobo!"

The boy practically squawks (or maybe warks) indignantly, and Sephiroth has to fight back a grin at the mental image. He manages to keep a straight face, as bright blue eyes turn back to him, a hint of a scowl still on a lightly tanned face.

Sephiroth does not at all expect what the boy has to sat.

"Metal is like... it's like when life sucks and you feel alone and empty. You put on some metal, and life is better because..." he pauses, looking down at his plate. "Because someone else knows that pain and the rage you're going through... ya know?"

There is silence between the three of them as Sephiroth takes a moment to digest that explanation.

Zack throws a dramatic arm around his friend. "Aw, my music is like that, too!"

His friend ducks under the arm. "No, your music is for when you're feeling sad and alone, and you don't know what to do with all those big emotions you feel constantly."

"Ouch, Cloud," Zack laughs. "I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered!"

The newly dubbed Cloud shrugs. "There's nothing wrong with it. Your music is fine. It's just not what I need to hear sometimes."

At last, Sephiroth speaks up. "I... think I know what you mean..." he says softly. Zack and Cloud end their rough housing, staring at him with wide eyes almost as though they had forgotten he was there. "About the pain and... rage."

He reaches across the table for the little radio, the song on it ending and segueing to a new one. He turns up the volume, aware of the eyes on him as he listens.

He listens to the soft opening chords, the added percussions. The quiet build of tension as it all rises together in sync.

Then, there is an explosion of noise, and Sephiroth can feel his blood pulse as the cafeteria is filled with the sound of heavy drums and guitars screaming in rhythm with the beat of his heart.

Their judging eyes watching me

It's all I've ever known

When I try to open up my heart

I am ridiculed and torn apart

Your damn jokes I'll never get to hear

Behind my back at my expense

There's something inside me

And I know it's good, I'm not evil

Just misunderstood

Do you see me now?

Do you hear me now?

You will know my name

Sephiroth listens to the song, unaware of how his breathing has picked up as he states down at the radio in his hands, unaware of Zack and Cloud's eyes on him. He listens to the words, listens to the drums and the guitars, internalizing the feeling of the music moving through him like it never has before, the singer's voice growling in his ears.

He doesn't look up again until the song ends and another is starting, still heavy, pulsing in time with his blood in his veins, and there is something so alive in the music he's never resonated with before. He's aware of the concerned furrow to Zack's brow, but his eyes meet Cloud's, and he notices the small smile on the younger man's lips.

Like he knows what Sephiroth is feeling.

Like he's felt it himself.

"You didn't break my friend with your angry music, did you, Cloud?" Zack asks, half-joking, half-worried.

Cloud just smiles, knowing and smug, and still holds Sephiroth's gaze. He props his elbow on the table to prop his cheek on his fist.

"It makes for excellent workout music, too," he states knowingly.

Sephiroth gives him a tiny smile back, maybe a touch feral as his heart beats in time with the bass. "Can you give me some recommendations?"

---

Maybe I'll clean this up and post it to AO3...

The explanation of metal is from a line in the movie Deathgasm.

The song is You Will Know My Name by Arch Enemy.

I want to write short thing where my faves listen to metal, go off on their boss Aggretsuko style at a company thing, and make-out sloppy style at a concert with a bunch of strangers cheering them on from a moshpit five feet away

[roselockwood]

Ms. Steal Your Girlfriend

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader (Pietro Maximoff x reader at first)

Word count: 2657

Genre: kinda angsty at first but after that it's straight smut with a bit of fluff at the end

Warnings: explicit content so if you are not 16+ please do not read, mentions of break up, cheating, smut, mommy kink, strap-on use, edging (kind of but not really), angry Wanda, use of powers, swearing, mentions of alcohol

Summary: You knew the Maximoff twins since all three of you escaped hydra. You were inseparable for years. Everything was great until Pietro asked you out two months ago. You and Wanda had your own little world builded around you. Cuddles and surprise hugs were an integral part of your friendship but after you started dating her brother, something has changed. 

A/N: Idk what possessed me to write oneshot this long but it can possess me more often. It's some Wanda smut with kind of a plot. I'm really proud of this one and I hope y'all will enjoy it :D

Krasivaya- beauty

Moya dorogaya- darling

Kotenok- kitten

°☆______________________________________☆°

"Hey sestra, me and Y/N are going out. Would you like to come along?"

You gathered your purse from the compound's kitchen island and grabbed yourself a quick drink while others were watching a movie in the living room.

"Of course Piet, I couldn't let the chance to hang out with Y/N slip."

Her sweet smile made you happy, but you knew better than to believe that. The dangerous sparkle in her eyes made you shiver as she scanned your body.

"Come on Pietro, Wanda, we're going to be late for the concert at the pub."

"I can always speed us there, you know that krasivaya?"

"I know but it's irresponsible to show and use your powers like that. Sam is going to drive us there so let's get to the car."

"Hey kiddos! Are you ready?"

"Yeah Sam, let's go before my boyfriend gets impatient. Wanda, come here!"

The four of you got into the car and started an awfully quiet ride to the pub. Wanda yet again was staring at you. She changed so much after you started to date Pietro. She was being more… touchy. Every redhead's touch lingered on you for more than it should. She always complimented the way you dress, how pretty you looked in new clothes that she picked out for you. But now the tone that Wanda says the compliments you makes you blush furiously. Redhead used every occasion to tease you. Just like now. With Pietro in the front seat she teased you relentlessly, laying her hand on your thigh and making small patterns there.

"Wanda… Please stop- Pietro is in front-"

You whispered, not wanting for your boyfriend and Sam to hear that. 

"Okay, whatever you want honey. But I think you liked that."

Wanda left you speechless as she stared out of the window. She only listened to you partially, her hand was still on your thigh which still made you blush but not as much as before. You managed to sit through the whole ride but when you were finally there, you let out a sigh of relief as you didn't have to struggle with being all hot and bothered.

"Thanks Sam! I'll text you later so you can give us a ride home."

"No problem Y/N/N. Just don't get too drunk, kid."

When you came into the pub, the band was already playing some music. There were so many people on the dance floor. Pietro tried to ask you to dance with him but you immediately refused saying you need a drink. Heading to the bar, you caught a glimpse of Wanda shamelessly grinding on another girl. You found yourself jealous of Wanda. You wished to be the girl that was now touching the redhead's hips and waist. But it was so wrong. You were dating her brother and yet it wasn't the first time you were jealous of Wanda. Every time she flirted with someone your stomach twisted in jealousy and you couldn't do anything about it. You had a crush on the witch since the very first day you've met her. But you pushed the feelings away for so long that when Pietro asked you out, you said yes without even thinking. Now the feelings came back with twice as much power. 

When you realized you've been zoning out, you quickly shook your head and sat on the stool beside the bar. You wave your hand at a barman motioning to pour you a drink.

As you sipped on your 5th margarita, Wanda came behind you and made you snap out of your thoughts. She brought her head close to your ear and whispered

"Are you thinking about something baby?"

"Did you just call me baby or the alcohol kicked in?"

"I most definitely called you baby."

"Have you seen your brother, I wanna dance with him." 

You slurred your words a bit as the alcohol did, in fact, kicked in. Wanda wasn't sober either, you could smell vodka from her breath, although she seemed more sober than you.

"Sorry but I haven't seen Pietro anywhere. Let's go look for him."

Wanda took your hand and swerved between people on the floor. You looked for Pietro everywhere: in the bathroom, in the crowd, even outside the bar. You and Wanda couldn't find him anywhere until you saw him in a dark alley kissing with some blonde. You were mad beyond belief, even if you weren't completely devoted to him.

"You asshole! I was looking for you everywhere and you were kissing some bitch in a dark alley."

Pietro's eyes went wide as he saw you with Wanda beside. He pushed the blonde off of himself and started to walk up to you.

"Are you high Pietro? Your eyes are red and you are slower than usual."

"I don't know? I think- Maybe I am?"

"Oh you are! You took fucking drugs and went to kiss some blonde whore!"

"He never told me he had a girlfriend! If I knew earlier I would never have kissed him!"

Your eyes started to water up and you saw in the corner of your eye that Wanda was getting ready to use her powers.

"He had a girlfriend. Not anymore. We're done Pietro."

"You jerk! What have you done! How could you do something like this to Y/N!"

Wanda snapped and pushed the girl onto the wall while she caught Pietro in her powers.

"You're a fucking cheater Pietro! You better not get close to her or I will rip your head off"

With that she threw him into the trash bags that were laying nearby. She texted Sam to pick up both of you and called Barton to take care of her high as fuck brother. 

You waited no more than 20 minutes and Sam was already here. Soon after his arrival Clint also was here, picking up your now ex-boyfriend. You didn't utter a word so Wanda told Sam to go.

"Faster birdy and go to the liquor shop for some wine. Me and Y/N both need at least two bottles of it."

Sam never asked a question seeing how upset you were and how Wanda seemed angry. He quickly visited a liquor shop and bought four bottles of Wanda and your favorite wine, just like the redhead asked beforehand. When you were finally at a compound, the witch floated four bottles of red wine and took you by the hand to lead you to her room. As soon as you took off your heels that you were wearing, you plopped down on Wanda's spacious bed and started crying. Redhead's hand snaked around your wait and hugged you. Salty tears soaked Wanda's shoulder that now you were leaning on. She took her hand from your waist and put it on your face, quickly adding another one.

"Don't cry moya dorogaya. I should've known that he has never changed."

"It's my fault too. I-If I never pushed those feelings away-"

You stopped halfway when you realized you almost told Wanda how you feel about her. Your eyes went wide and the witch just stared at your face waiting for you to continue.

"What feelings baby?"

The silence was almost unbearable after Wanda's question so you decided to speak up. Your voice cracked as you wiped tears and you tried to talk.

"I- How to even start? I kinda have a crush on you since... a really long time. I pushed my feelings away because I thought you didn't li-"

You got cut off by the redhead's soft and loving kiss. Heart in your chest raced at the action and the blush crept up from your neck. Your whole world spinned as you melted to Wanda's touch. The sweet kiss quickly turned to a heated make out session. Wanda laid you down and kissed you roughly before getting on top of you. The sensation of redhead's lips on yours, made you wet. Both of you pulled away only when there wasn't enough air in your lungs to breathe. Wanda rose on her arms to catch a break.

"How could you ever think that I don't like you back? You could've just asked me."

"I- Fuck..."

Witch caught you off guard when she kissed your neck, leaving marks here and there. You wanted to answer Wanda but your brain became useless under her ministrations. A moan slipped out of you as Wanda sucked your sensitive spot under your ear.

"I love the noises you make sweetheart… But you have a question to answer, don't you?"

"I-I do, I never asked because- Shit-"

Words got stuck in your throat when Wanda put her knee between your thighs. Only a thin layer of fabric separated her bare skin from your wet pussy. Even harder blush appeared on your cheeks as you thought about what she could do to you.

"It's because I was afraid of you leaving me- Oh my god-"

Your mind went blank as the redhead started to move her knee, making it touch your clit.

"Wanda- Please-"

"Patience honey. Patience. Now let's get rid of our dresses, hmm? Does that sound good?"

"Yes... Please take it off me- "

With that, Wanda waved her hand, making the clothes disappear and left both of you only in your underwear. The woman on top of you, scanned your body stopping a bit at the neck where she admired the marks she made.

"You look so pretty laid out for me like that..."

Wanda lowered her head and started to kiss the valley between your breasts making you shiver. The bra was getting in the way so the redhead did the same thing she did to the dress. As the red mist disappeared, Wanda took one of your nipples to her mouth. Her tongue worked miracles on your bud, making you moan in pleasure.

"Wanda, touch me. Please-"

"I am touching you babygirl. Do you want more?"

"Yes mommy-"

Face of the redhead flushed red at the title you gave her. She didn't waste more time and went lower with her kisses, going straight to where you wanted her the most. When she was almost there, you sighed in relief thinking you would finally get properly touched. But you were wrong. Wanda swiftly skipped your soaked cunt and went for your thighs. She bit them hard enough to leave a mark and soothed the pain with her tongue. Your thighs were full of hickeys and love bites as she finally decided to touch your pussy.

"So wet for me. I am going to ruin you."

She ripped your panties off, wanting to taste you as fast as possible. Redhead's skilled tongue worked over your pussy making your eyes roll. The breathless moans and whines made Wanda throb in the core, they were like music to her ears. She sucked on your clit hard making you arch your back.

"Mommy please- I need you inside me, your fingers-"

"Beg for it."

A chain of pathetic "please mommy" and "I'll be good, I swear" left your mouth. Wanda looked at you with lust and decided to give you what you want.

"You are dripping baby. I won't even have to use lube when I'm going to use my strap on you."

"S-Strap?"

"You liked the idea huh? Now be good and take my fingers like the good girl you are."

Wanda put her fingers into you, pumping them at a killer pace. With each curl, she hit the sensitive spot inside you without a miss. You were already a whimpering mess but when she added her mouth, it was over for you. Moans left your mouth, your thighs were shaking and you were so deliciously close to the edge. Pure bliss blinded you, you could almost see the stars as you came hard on her fingers and mouth.

"That's a good girl. You came so hard, I think you're ready for my strap."

With that she left to pick the toy from her closet. Wanda came back a few minutes later with a bright red toy attached to her. She took off her bra that was the only thing covering her body. Your mouth watered at the sight of the woman in front of you. Her perky breasts, her waist and what was now attached between her legs made you more wet, if that was even possible. You clenched your thighs as the ache for her grew bigger.

"You like seeing mommy like that? Ready to ruin you? I picked that toy especially for you. It will stretch you so well."

Redhead came closer to the bed and stroked her strap in a smooth motion.

"All fours. Now. And don't move honey. You don't want to be punished."

The dominant tone of her voice made you do the things she said almost immediately. When you were ready, Wanda came up behind you and teased the tip of the toy on your entrance. You moaned at the feeling, still being oversensitive from the last orgasm.

"Let out all those pretty moans for me kotenok."

As Wanda said that sentence, she pushed the strap into you roughly which made your arms buckle. She was going slow for the first few thrust but with time the thrusts grew faster. Every single time she never failed to fill you up to the brim. Wanda was moaning too as the harness was brushing against her clit. 

"Fuck- Oh god- Mommy please, faster-"

"No, no can do. We will do it my way baby."

Redhead kept the same pace but she added her fingers onto your clit. As soon as she started moving them, the pleasure became almost unbearable.

"Mommy can I come please? I need it-"

"You don't need it. You want it."

"Yes yes yes yes, I want it just please- Let me come-"

"Fuck- I'm close too, hold on for a bit-" 

Your whole body shook as you tried not to come. The desire to come was getting bigger with every thrust and circle around your clit. You almost came without permission but Wanda spoke up.

"Let go for me krasivaya. Soak my strap."

You came on the command as Wanda threw her head back also falling into the arms of pleasure. Her thrust became more sloppy and slower. After she let you ride out your high she pulled the toy out of you.

"You took me so well baby. I'm so proud of you. Now let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

You only nodded your head, being too tired to answer her. Wanda quickly went to the bathroom and came back with a warm damp towel. She cleaned your lower parts being extra careful as you were sensitive from the two powerful orgasms you just had. 

"Hey, Wanda- You literally fucked Pietro out of me."

"I'm glad it worked. Don't ever hold back your feelings, okay?"

"I'll try. Throw that towel away and cuddle with me. I need it."

With that Wanda threw the towel straight to the bathroom to clean it later and laid beside you, making you the small spoon.

"You were so loud Y/N, that I bet the whole compound heard that. We will be having an awkward breakfast tomorrow."

"It's not my fault you made me feel this good."

"Let's go to sleep baby, we have a tiring day tomorrow."

Wanda chuckled along with you and kissed you for goodnight as Tony blew up the Avengers group chat about how both of you were having fun. It will be a hard day tomorrow.

[girlwithwolftatoo]

The moon boys getting the silent treatment....idk I'm just in the mood for some drama💁🏽‍♀️

It's sad time, ladies and gentlemen!

Marc Spector:

*His first reaction is letting you know he doesn't give a damn. Marc doesn't like confrontation, so will let you be and act like he's fine with that.

*Spends most of the time doing stuff to keep his mind occupied, but fails. Like, he turns the T.V on but just stay at the screen without even noticing he hasn't paid attention to the movie or show.

*Walks around his floor like a caged tiger, cellphone in hand, wondering if he should call you or not, and everytime he turns, he gets more angry until he kicks the nearest furniture and spit a couple of curses.

*Probably will buy booze and drink until he passes out. He simply lays on the floor and drinks straight from the bottle, thinking about everything he has done wrong in life and how you should drop him forever because he's a senseless bastard and all sort of negative things that drag him in a depressive spyral.

*He's the one who suffers the most the silent treatment, he'd rather have you yelling at him or being passive-aggresive, anything but pretend he doesn't exist, it's too hurtful for poor Marc and once you forgive him, he feels so down he cannot act normal for a couple of days.

Steven Grant:

*He won't go down without a fight, and will tell you a thing or two about how you're acting selfish and stuborn and how he'll be on the phone for when you want to speak again.

*He spends most of the time talking to Gus about the discussion. "And then (Y/N) just gives me this look and turns back, obviously they don't want to talk, amirite? I mean... yeah, everybody does mistakes but... communication is the key, don't you think?"

*Steven can handle this sort of things better than the rest of the Moon boys, he gives you space to calm down and he does the same. The only problem is he's getting used to do a lot of things with you, and nostalgia hits hard when he's listening some music you enjoy together or he's trying to finish the 1000 pieces puzzle you bot began as a project the last weekend.

*"I... I miss them, Gus" he sighs and leaves the puzzle table to sleep, thought he knows it's not going to work. So Steven lays on the bed, staring at the ceilling with mixed feelings until tireness wins the battle and he gets some hours of rest.

*He jumps and falls onto the floor as soon as he hears his phone ringing. Steven answers trying to sound normal, even acting a little brat ("Oh, you want to speak now? I'm glad to hear that"),but deep inside he's relieved of listening to you again.

Jake Lockley:

*Jake chuckles and towers you from behind, to mutter a single warning: "If you don't want to hear about me, I swear you won't". Then, he leaves slamming the door shut.

*And of course he'll keep his promise. Turns his phone off so you can't call him, drives around the city and spend the night having a good time kicking asses and flirting with ladies of all sort without actually pretending to be serious. Yes, he can be happy without you.

*Jake knows how to dissapear if he wants to, but after the adrenaline spree he had during nighttime, the lights of dawn remind him not everything in life can be violence and fun. He practicall passes out on his sofa and wakes up in th afternoon, feeling more tired than before, hungry and a little lonely.

*Just like Marc, he drinks to wash the pain away, but never gets drunk. In fact, he grows tired of booze very quickly and then he tries to revive the emotions of the last night, probably without much success.

*That's when he begins to miss you. Yeah, he made a promise and will keep it, but he's so used to feeling you, having you on his side like his sanity lifeboat, your absence is like a deep wound.

*Instead of calling you, he drives to your place and waits for you outside of the limo, smoking just to relax his nerves. And he can be like this for hours, until you show up or either come out. "(Y/N)" he says as soon as he sees you, and doesn't need more words, his eyes are the perfect reflection of his pain.