#listen.....listen to me...listen.........this song will always ruin me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d4b4ef761df36a42fd4fd0e1b6a78b1c/4a309b9696575108-90/s540x810/cf27bcff45040ec5d79d11bbcf111c87be12f8d8.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/30dab279d76d82c75181f9913f0ac6fd/4a309b9696575108-17/s540x810/e20e138a95cc874565699be0274e70cb93db6a22.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d58d52da68985e94de19b2d57fd0147/4a309b9696575108-52/s540x810/0a1688afdef08d3442a74a823f1e9bd6cfdac031.webp)
WILDFLOWER | G.A
inspired by billie eilish's wildflower. I think you can already predict that it's very angst. I cried writing this and I love it even more because of it.
𓍼 WORD COUNT: 3390
𓍼 SUMMARY: after listening to Two People on Good Riddance tour something invades you, like a fever.
𓍼 WARNINGS: angst, good ending...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d58d52da68985e94de19b2d57fd0147/4a309b9696575108-52/s540x810/0a1688afdef08d3442a74a823f1e9bd6cfdac031.webp)
good riddance had been out for a few months now, yet you still remembered the nights when gracie came home late from the studio. it might have seemed like a bad thing, but she always found a way to make it up to you—small surprises, late-night apologies that always ended with her between your legs—so, in the end, it was never really that bad.
one of the things you admired most about her was her honesty, especially when it came to her feelings. while working on the album, she never let you forget how much she loved you, how important your relationship was, and how those lyrics were nothing more than echoes of old wounds.
more than anyone, you understood what this album meant to her. it wasn’t just a way to express everything she had been through, but the first project that was truly hers, a piece of her heart laid bare. and you had been there for every part of it.
before love ever crossed your mind, you and gracie were just friends. and you had the luck—or maybe the curse—of knowing her ex-boyfriend, of watching them grow together and, eventually, fall apart.
it should have been easy to let time wash it all away, to accept that the past was nothing more than that. you had promised yourself it wouldn’t matter anymore. you had promised gracie, too.
but then two people started playing.
and when gracie sang that one specific line—
"and you know, you know every inch of my body"
that was when the tears started falling, before you could even think about stopping them. that was the night you started seeing him in the back of your mind again when you started feeling like you were burning alive.
but you knew she didn't mean to hurt you.
so you kept it to yourself.
…
the next morning, usually filled with kisses and silly conversations, is ruined by a tension that settles between you like something unspoken—thick and heavy. the air inside the apartment feels too still, as if it’s holding its breath, waiting for one of you to break the silence.
gracie leans against the sink, absentmindedly stirring her tea, though you’re not even sure if she actually intends to drink it. her fingers tap a slow rhythm against the ceramic mug, eyes fixed on some distant point.
you sit on a stool by the counter, arms crossed, so close yet so far away. the hum of the fridge, the faint ticking of the clock on the wall—everything sounds too loud in the midst of the silence between you.
"are you really not going to talk to me?" gracie finally says, her voice quieter than usual but heavy with frustration.
you exhale through your nose, hearing your own heartbeat echo inside your head. "i don’t know what you want me to say."
"i want you to say whatever it is that’s bothering you."
you shake your head, staring at a spot on the floor. "it’s nothing, gracie."
she laughs, but there’s no humor in it. "liar. you shut down the moment we got home. you barely looked at me all night. just tell me what’s going on!"
"i already told you—i’m fine."
"no, you’re not." she leans forward slightly, exasperated. "and i’m tired of pretending i don’t notice when you’re upset just because you refuse to talk to me."
your chest tightens. part of you knows she’s right. but another part—the one that’s been burning since last night, since that damn song and the way it made something ugly take root inside you—wants to resist.
you run your hands through your hair, a habit stolen from her. "maybe i just don’t want to talk about it, okay?"
gracie shakes her head. "god, why do you always do this? why do you always push me away when something’s wrong?"
"because i don’t want to fight with you!" you snap, your voice rising as your patience wears thin. "i don’t want to ruin the morning or… or make things weird before your show!"
gracie exhales sharply, setting her mug down on the counter harder than she intended. "and you think not talking makes everything better? because right now, it just feels like you’re shutting me out."
you press your fingers against your forehead, breathing heavily. "i just need time, okay?"
"time for what?" her voice wavers now, a trace of hurt seeping in. "for me to stop asking? for me to just sit here and pretend i don’t see that you’re upset?"
"for me to figure out how to talk without sounding like an idiot!"
that makes her pause. the tension between you crackles in the air, the silence stretching too long.
gracie swallows, the sound making you shiver.
"you know what? forget it," she says, turning back to the sink and picking up her tea.
you close your eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. "gracie—"
"no, i get it." she cuts you off, taking a long sip. "you don’t want to talk. fine."
gracie turns back to you, searching your face for some sign of regret, but she finds nothing but confusion.
"in the end, i’m always the only one trying to fix things," she says before walking away, the sound of her heavy footsteps echoing as she climbs the stairs.
you stay there, sitting on the stool, staring at the empty space where gracie stood just seconds ago.
your fingers grip the edge of the counter, and you let out a shaky breath, frustration still pulsing beneath your skin. this wasn’t how you wanted the morning to go. this wasn’t how you wanted things to be before her show.
but now it’s done.
you rub your face, trying to clear your thoughts. but everything feels blurred, tangled—a mess of emotions you don’t know how to unravel.
the apartment suddenly feels too small. the air inside it, too heavy.
you need to get out.
standing up quickly, you grab a sweatshirt draped over a chair and shove your keys into your pocket. the soft click of the door unlocking echoes through the apartment, but there’s no sound from upstairs. no attempt to stop you from leaving.
a part of you wishes there was.
you walk down the stairs slowly, hands buried in your pockets, with no real destination in mind. you just keep moving.
the cold morning air hits you the moment you step outside, and an immediate urge to cry swells inside you. your nose starts to sting, your eyes well up, and before you know it, those words are replaying in your head again.
"and you know, you know every inch of my body."
you know she loves you. you should let this go, shouldn’t you? but he lingers, always there, in the back of your mind.
last night, when gracie wrapped her arms around you, kissed the nape of your neck, and told you she loved you, you wanted to turn around, hold her tighter, tell her you loved her more, and start a silly argument over it.
but every time she touched you, all you could think about was how he felt.
had gracie ever looked at you and seen him? in the dark of the bedroom, between kisses and whispered promises, had a part of him ever slipped into her mind?
and if, just for a moment, she had wished it was him instead of you?
you try to push the thought away, try to hold onto the certainties gracie gives you—the way she reaches for your hand without thinking, the way her eyes light up when she talks about you, the i love yous that sound so real.
but doubt creeps in, spreading like a loose thread unraveling everything.
what if they’re not?
what if, deep down, you’re only here because he’s not?
the thought tightens in your chest. you swallow hard and keep walking, unfamiliar streets closing in around you.
but nothing feels as endless or inescapable as the maze inside your own mind.
…
the lights dim, and the crowd erupts into cheers. the air is electric, pulsing with anticipation, and gracie feels it thrumming through her veins. she grips the microphone tightly, fingers trembling just slightly, but she forces herself to take a deep breath. this is her moment—her show. no matter what happened this morning, she needs to push through.
but she knows better than to think she can just shut it out.
as she steps onto the stage, her eyes scan the audience, moving quickly over the sea of faces. the adrenaline in her chest spikes as she catches sight of you.
standing near the back, hands buried in your pockets, shoulders drawn tight, looking at her like you’re not sure whether you want to be here or not.
the moment stretches between you, thick with words left unsaid.
gracie knows that for months she has been exposing you to these painful memories embedded in her own songs. but she also knows that they are past pains, without weight or meaning, and she expected you to know that too. if something was wrong, you would tell her. wouldn't you? but as she stands there, watching you from the stage, doubt grips her chest.
did i cross the line?
abrams swallows hard, forcing herself to keep moving, to wave at the fans screaming her name, to smile like she’s okay. but her mind is already somewhere else, stuck in the heaviness of this morning, the way you looked at her, the sound of the door clicking shut behind you as you left.
she drags in another breath, stepping up to the mic as the opening chords of the first song hum through the speakers. the setlist is the same as always, but tonight, everything feels different. she wonders if you can feel it too, if the weight pressing down on her is pressing down on you as well.
and then the next song starts.
the one that ruined everything last night.
the crowd sings along, voices blending with hers. her gaze, however, is locked on yours. she sings the line without hesitation, without breaking, watching the way your jaw clenches, your eyes darkening just slightly. she wonders if you can tell that she’s looking at you. if you can hear what she’s trying to say through the words that once meant something else.
i didn’t mean to hurt you.
it’s just a song. it’s just a song.
but that doesn’t make it any less real, does it?
the song ends, the moment passes, and yet, the weight lingers. the rest of the show blurs together—flashes of movement, chords, applause—but that moment stays lodged in her ribs, burning like something she doesn’t know how to name.
by the time the final song fades, the crowd’s cheers ring in her ears, and gracie barely remembers getting through it. sweat clings to her skin as she steps backstage, her heart still pounding too fast, and she doesn’t know if it’s from the performance or the way you looked at her.
she doesn’t have time to figure it out before she hears movement behind her.
turning slowly, she finds you standing there, just a few feet away.
you’re still wearing that same guarded expression, the one that makes something in her ache, but there’s something else beneath it now. something hesitant. something like regret.
she wants to say something, anything—but what is there to say?
where were you?
are you okay?
i’m sorry?
but before she can choose the perfect false words, you take the first step. "we should talk… at home."
"yeah, definitely," she says almost automatically.
you hold each other’s gaze for a moment, both fidgeting with your hands—shared habits.
the ride home is silent. the radio plays some random melody, but neither of you really listens. gracie keeps her hands on her thighs, fingers restless, resisting the urge to reach out. she doesn’t know if it would be welcomed. if she still can.
on the other side, you stare out the window, your hand so close to hers. close enough that if one of you just…
but no one moves.
back home, the silence is just as heavy. gracie drops her bag on the counter but doesn’t step away, fingers gripping the marble as if she needs something solid to hold onto.
this time, there are no distractions. just the two of you and the space between you.
"can we talk now?" gracie asks, her voice low.
"yeah," you answer hesitant. but it takes a moment before you can actually speak.
gracie’s breath seems caught in her chest as she waits, and you hate it—hate how uncertainty spreads across her features, like she’s bracing for something bad. but the truth is, you don’t even know how to put what you’re feeling into words.
you run your tongue over your dry lips before finally saying:
"that song last night, two people… it really fucked me up."
gracie blinks a few times, surprised by the raw honesty in your voice. she swallows hard before responding.
"i didn’t…" she pauses, the words dying before they fully form. "i didn’t mean for it to hurt you."
"i know." you squeeze your fingers, letting out a heavy sigh. "but it did."
gracie nods slowly, eyes fixed on you, unsure of where to step. "you never said anything before. about the song, about…" she hesitates. "him."
"because i thought i was fine," you admit, your voice coming out rougher than you intended. "i thought i had let it go. but hearing it—hearing you sing it—just brought everything back, and i hated it. i hated that it still gets to me."
gracie stays silent for a moment, her gaze locked on you like she’s searching for the right thing to say. then, in a hesitant, almost resigned tone, she asks:
"do you want me to stop singing it?"
do you want that?
"because if you do, i will."
"of course not," you say, shaking your head. "that’s not the point, gracie."
"then what is the point?"
"i don’t fucking know!" tears start streaming down your face, and suddenly, you’ve never felt more exposed than now. "i’m sorry…" you bring your hands up to your face, as if trying to hide somehow.
gracie doesn’t think. she just moves.
before she can second-guess herself, she closes the space between you, wrapping her arms around your trembling frame. you tense at first, your body stiff against hers, but then, slowly, you sink into it.
your hands clutch the fabric of her jacket, desperate for something to hold onto, something solid in the middle of everything unraveling inside you.
gracie presses her face into your hair, eyes squeezing shut. "hey," she whispers, voice barely steady. "it’s okay. you don’t have to be sorry."
but you shake your head against her shoulder, fingers tightening. "i hate this," you choke out. "i hate feeling like this. like i’m stuck. like i—" your breath catches, breaking apart in your throat.
gracie pulls back just enough to look at you, cradling your face in her hands, her thumbs brushing the tears from your cheeks. her gaze is searching, pained, but steady. "then don’t do it alone." she almost whispers. "let me be here. let us figure this out together."
"look at me," she continues, tilting your chin up with gentle fingers.
your breath hitches. "gracie—"
"i love you."
you swallow hard, eyes flickering between hers. "i know that you love me."
"no." her grip tightens, not to hold you in place, but to make you feel her, to feel the weight of what she’s saying. she looks at you like she’s searching for something deeper, something that words alone can’t reach. "i don’t want you to just know. i need you to feel it. i need you to feel it in every vein in your body, how much i want you, how much i love you, y/n."
your chest tightens, throat burning with unshed tears.
"you’re my baby, my girl, my fucking adorable, sweet princess," she breathes, her forehead resting against yours. "i’d give you the whole damn universe if you asked me. and i’m sorry for not noticing how hard this has been for you."
"you don’t have to do anything," you shake your head. "it’s not your responsibility. it’s not your fault."
gracie lets out a soft, almost disbelieving laugh, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with her thumb. "i’m your girlfriend, of course it’s my responsibility. but it’s not just that—i want to. i want to be here. i want to hold this with you."
you let out a shaky breath, your forehead still pressed against hers. the warmth of her hands, the closeness of her body, it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
gracie watches you, waiting, giving you space even as she holds you close. there’s no rush, no expectation. just her, just this moment, just the steady rhythm of her breathing mixing with yours.
"i don’t know how to stop feeling like this," you admit, voice barely above a whisper.
"you don’t have to figure it out all at once. we’ll take it one step at a time. no pressure, no rush. just us."
you close your eyes for a moment, letting yourself lean into her, feeling the warmth of her presence wrap around you like something safe, something solid.
then, after a beat, you whisper, "say it again."
gracie pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, her lips curving into a soft, knowing smile. "i love you."
you shake your head. "no. the whole thing."
her hands tighten around your face, eyes dark and unwavering as she speaks again, voice like a vow:
"i don’t want you to just know how much i love you. i need you to feel it. in every breath, every touch, every part of you. you’re my baby, my girl, my sweet, adorable princess. and i’d give you the universe if you asked me."
tears slip silently down your cheeks, but this time, they don’t feel heavy. it’s love, because of love.
gracie catches one with her thumb, her smile turning just a little teasing, a little mischievous. "and i’m never singing two people again unless you say it’s okay."
you let out a breathy, tearful laugh, shoving her shoulder lightly. "i never said that."
she grins, eyes crinkling, before she leans in and presses the softest, most deliberate kiss to your lips. like a promise. like a beginning.
gracie doesn’t pull away right away. she lingers her lips barely brushing yours, memorizing the shape of you, like she’s making sure you feel every ounce of her love in that kiss. when she finally does part from you, it’s only far enough to rest her forehead against yours again, her breath mingling with yours in the small space between you.
"you okay?"
you nod, a little shy now, a little overwhelmed but in a way that doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
she smiles, thumbs still tracing light patterns on your cheeks before one hand slips down, lacing her fingers with yours. "come here," she says, giving your hand the gentlest tug.
abrams leads you to the couch, pulling you down with her, and before you can even think, she’s tucking you against her side, wrapping you up in warmth. it’s so easy, so effortless—the way your body finds its place against hers, the way her arm fits snugly around your waist, like you were always meant to be here.
"do you wanna talk more?" she asks after a moment, her voice soft. "or do you just wanna stay like this for a while?"
you don’t answer right away. instead, you shift, pressing your face into the curve of her neck, breathing her in. she smells like vanilla and something distinctly her, something comforting.
"this," you murmur against her skin. "just this."
gracie hums, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. "okay, baby. just this."
and so you stay there, tangled together in the quiet, her fingers trailing lazy patterns along your back, your hands resting against her chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of her breathing.
it’s not perfect. there’s still a lot to talk about, a lot to work through. but for now, in this moment, in her arms, you feel safe.
and that’s enough.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d58d52da68985e94de19b2d57fd0147/4a309b9696575108-52/s540x810/0a1688afdef08d3442a74a823f1e9bd6cfdac031.webp)
guys…
thanks for reading <3
back to nav
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been listening to sgt pepper's like everyday with the girls i babysit, and luckily for me i could never get tired of that album so it's really nice... i do have to live-translate most songs (except for the ones they don't like) but im getting better at it. the baby loves Good Morning because of all the animal noises, and her older sister, i asked what her favorite song was and she named like five lol 😭but what surprised me is that she loves A day in the life, which i didn't think would appeal to her. but she really likes the crescendos and the way the last chord resonates for so long, she's always like shhhh listen to that silence... the only song she dislikes is Within you without you, rip George Harrison. i told her what the song was about and she thought he was ruining the vibes
#i have to straight up ACT paul mccartney's part in a day in the life#and i do. anything for the children
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
CABIN GROUP HEADCANONS !!
since Pete was a huuuge influence on nick, he also had an impact on Nick's music taste. Pete was a huge fan of metal, so is nick! he would enjoy doom/stoner metal the most.
Luke is the complete opposite of nick, he would enjoy country, also songs like barbie girl, and artists like sir mix-a-lot. he would definitely force nick to listen to those with him.
Carlos isn't an actual doctor and he wasn't before the apocalypse. the medical knowledge he has is from books he read to take care of his loved ones, and his wife, who was a nurse taught him something too. as seen in the game, he isn't perfect, although he is trying his best.
when the group arrived to the cabin, the previous owners left their belongings behind, including board games. and each night the group would relax and spend time together, hanging out and getting to know each other, especially when playing board games.
Sarah's mother, despite her job as a nurse who is supposed to take care of people, was neglectful of her daughter, not understanding her issues either. Carlos divorced with her when Sarah was still young and it happened before the apocalypse. he took the custody of the young girl and became overprotective of her, especially after the outbreak which resulted in not letting her adapt to the present world.
Rebecca was in the mean popular girls cliché back in the highschool.
Luke was chubby before the outbreak, and he still may have some chub. it's his body type, since he worked on the farm he burnt a lot of calories but still stayed chubby.
Alvin and Rebecca met at the ski resort, and with each anniversary they would go skiing here.
Nick's mom was really young when she had him, around 19-21. she didn't have any plans yet, and his biological father was reckless and preferred partying rather than taking care of his own son. luckily Pete was here for him.
Sarah loves playing with dolls or some kind of figurines. she would get every member of the group to play with her, the best people to play with her would be Alvin and Luke (except Carlos because he is her dad). Alvin is soon to be dad and his tender personality is great to play with children, and Luke is naturally good with kids and would be like a big brother to Sarah sometimes. the most irritable would be Nick and Rebecca, Nick just wouldn't know how to handle it and get irritated easily or just ruin the whole fun. Rebecca would try her best, but not always understand and get irritated, which would make her feel bad. she would try to work on it though, for the sake of her baby and as she doesn't want to make Sarah sad. Sarah would never ask Pete, though.
Nick and Luke met in the 1st grade of elementary school. Nick was a shy and quite troublesome kid, and Luke was the type of kid who was always in the center of everyone's attention. despite their different personalities, they got along pretty quickly, often hanging out on both of their families' farms.
Rebecca came from an abusive household and is guarded and may seem hostile at first, but deep down she is a really caring, and has a soft spot for people who went through family abuse as well. she tends to hide her true emotions behind a "tough bitch" facade, but when she is alone with Alvin, whom she trusts the most, breaks down in tears to let out the pent up emotions in her.
Alvin gives the best hugs in the entire world. he's like a teddy bear.
Sarah's PTSD might come from the time she spent in Howe's, seeing the violence and innocent people's death caused by Carver. she is particularly afraid of him, the fear she is experiencing affects her usual life a lot, her sleep too, she often has nightmares and has to be comforted by Carlos.
Luke never had luck with women, they always rejected him. he never gave up though and kept talking to them. Nick, seeing how unlucky his best friend was, never even tried to get with ANYONE.
let me know if you want me to post more headcanons!
#twdg#twdg s2#twdg luke#twdg nick#the walking dead game#telltale the walking dead#twdg pete#twdg rebecca#twdg sarah#twdg carlos#twdg alvin
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lavanda
a/n: ahhhh i reallyyy like how this came out, with the exception of me being a sleep deprived idiot and literally forgetting that Zara is already dead by the time Lucanis is First Talon (ik im a fucking dumbass) so ignore that part, but i liked the dialogue too much to scrap it, it is what it is. sung this song for hours while writing, pls listen if u can it's one of my favs and it adds so much to the atmosphere, it's very Rookanis to me <3 pps the elvhen destroyed my brain. i learned too many things. forbidden knowledge. enjoy💜 tags: demi4demi Rookanis, hurt/comfort, fluff, these little idiots are so in love, almost kiss, Rook runs Lucanis a bath, the smallest hint of spice (yes the concept art-inspired bath smut is on the way, i promise), Lucanis covered in scars is canon to me, body hair + happy trail Lucanis hehehe, dadbod-ish(?) Lucanis🤤, I overuse "mierda" but I like it too much
Rook was happily humming a bard song as her fingers danced along the pool of water, watching the ripples with a smile.
“She would always like to say,
Why change the past when you can own this day…”
Her pointed ears twitched as they picked up a familiar rhythm of steps approaching, causing her to bite her lip and smile even wider, tilting her head to the side.
“My, I was beginning to think the Crows had stolen you away again, Master Dellamorte…” Kore giggled, turning to face Lucanis.
Just as she had hoped, a blush dusted his cheeks.
“Don’t call me that, Rook” Lucanis blurted curtly, before clearing his throat. He was still the First Talon, it seemed, ready to give orders. “...please. It’s too formal.”
She covered her lips sheepishly, as she always did after her flirting and teasing.
“I’m sorry.”
He hummed shortly. “Why don’t I believe you?”
The elf glanced away, trying to contain the flush of her own features as she gestured towards the steaming pool.
“Well… I ran you a nice, warm bath! Lavender and honey… to help you relax. You deserve it.” He took a deep breath of the scent into his lungs, sending a shiver down his spine.
Her voice softened, and her smile felt like a warm hug.
“You’ve been working so much, tending to your duties as First Talon. I can't imagine how stressful it must be.” Lucanis found himself at a loss around Rook again; they had gotten much closer, and she was always showering him with affection; with her attention, with her allure.
Lavender was calming. Of course; the most popular remedy for trouble sleeping; but it was quite ironic that Spite had whispered that exact word into his ear at Pietra as he looked at her lips. Lucanis had begun to associate it with a more exciting feeling. The feeling Rook gave him every time they were together.
‘KISS. HER. LUCANIS! FIRST KISS. LAVENDER AND HONEY. SO MANY TIMES, SHE BRINGS IT UP. KISS HER, KISS HER!’
The Crow flushed a deeper shade of red, averting his eyes.
‘REMEMBER! COFFEE DATE. FIRST KISS! REMIND ROOK.’
Kore had… omitted the truth. In her desperation to flirt, she had pretended as if she had ever had a first kiss. Much like Lucanis, she could only suspect what it would taste like. In his mind, she was more experienced - sweet, relaxed, flirty, and, not to mention, breathtaking. He had seen the way Viper looked at her. His mind had filled in the rest. Albeit… inaccurately.
Running him a bath… cooking together, for each other, making coffee… grocery trips, reading, comparing daggers… The domesticity that had grown so beautifully between them wrapped its hands around his neck, cutting his oxygen off.
He didn't want to ruin it. Everything. Her. What they had. He didn't know what to call it, but that couldn't matter any less. He knew he was her assassin. Her God Killer. He would be anything she ever needed. It was all he needed. To be useful to her. To be what she needs.
“How was Treviso?”
As her voice caressed his hearing, his shoulders slouched. The assassin let out a sigh, guard finally lowering; for just a split second, he unravelled his facade and visibly winced. It was so easy to forget himself around her, to allow himself to grow comfortable. Too comfortable.
“It was-”
“Lucanis!”
She stood up and rushed to his side, looking up at him with doe-like eyes.
“You're hurt!”
His heart was bursting at the expression of concern on her face. He smiled in an attempt to console her. “I assure you, I'll live” he chuckled, but she furrowed her brows and puffed her cheek as she always did when she was frustrated with him. He tried again. “No pasa nada. I promise, Rook, it's nothing.”
“Mientes” she mumbled, reaching a hand up to straighten his collar. His eyes widened. The Antivan leaving her lips always took him by surprise. He stared at her dumbfounded as she pressed on.
“Does it hurt? Can I see?”
He blushed again, and took a moment to remember how to string words together.
“My… ribs.”
Her hands rested on his chest, and he felt her touch burning a fire inside of it through his clothes.
“Rook-”
“Please, Lucanis. Let me help you.”
Mierda, her eyes. How could he ever say no to them?
“You always take care of me… Let me do the same.”
He could feel the heat extending to his neck and ears, wishing desperately that she would be a lot worse at allowing him to open up, for once - it was getting considerably harder to stay away from her, to maintain a safe distance between them, especially as her hands ran down his chest with that look on her face that he couldn’t quite pin down.
‘Rook. Loves you. Loves Spite, loves us!’ Spite helped, inching closer to her. She briefly glanced at him, giggling as he grinned in her direction. Lucanis narrowed his eyes in confusion, but she quickly caught onto it and, scrambling to shift his attention, lifted a hand up to cup his face, her own catching on fire.
“Can you… open your shirt for me, please?”
The dryness in his throat physically hurt as he tried his best to gulp it down, feeling himself unable to move, or speak, or do anything other than admire her with what he knew was unbridled affection and… something else that he really hated himself for.
“L-Lucanis?” “Yes.”
His answer was immediate, breathless. None of them spoke any further or moved. They stared into each-other; she lovingly studied the sharp angles of his face as he delighted in the roundness of hers, wishing more than anything that his arms could wrap around her figure and hold her to his chest.
The simple dress she was wearing fit her so beautifully - he didn’t have the courage to mention he’d just bought her the one she mentioned she loved the last time they went to Treviso together. Had they met under different circumstances, he would have been convinced she was royalty; a Princess, a Goddess. The intricate elven markings on her face, the trails of lightning… he wanted to press his lips down the length of them, no matter how far they went - he would let them guide his mouth over her skin while he worshipped her for days.
“U-Um… s-should I…?” Kore finally broke the silence between them, feeling the intensity of his gaze crumbling her composure; his eyes were one of his sharpest tools, but they had never regarded her with anything other than delicate softness - well, that, and… w-whatever had filled them just now, making her skin tingle under the fabric of her dress.
As if she’d shocked him, Lucanis finally snapped out of it, idly clearing his throat and taking a step back as her hand fell from his face, scratching the side of his neck. “Y-N-No, I, uh, I can manage... Thank you, Kore.”
Kore pursed her lips, trying to suppress a smile. Her enchanted eye followed Spite as he circled around her, brushing the tips of their fingers together. When her green orb landed on Lucanis again, his dexterous hands were unbuttoning his vest, eyes following their motions. He shrugged it off effortlessly before removing his crow pin, untying and pulling his cravat off with one swift motion, causing Kore to almost lose her balance for a second, hand rushing to cover the gasp that left her mouth. He glanced at her with the same look from earlier, a natural charm and… almost… she was inclined to say hunger, but that thought made her want to scream into a pillow. He was about to say something, but Spite clamped his hand over his mouth, making Lucanis scowl for a moment.
‘SHUT. UP! She’s enjoying it! KEEP. GOING.’
Desperately shoving the embarrassment creeping inside him back down, Lucanis tore his gaze away from her again, focusing on his buttons, dextrous fingers twisting them out of their eyelets with cold precision. The elf felt her lips parting enough for her knuckle to peek through, sinking her teeth into her skin as she watched him breathlessly. Slowly, his large hands moved lower and lower, allowing her a glimpse of his body beneath the expensive, dark purple fabric; her heartbeat picked up as her eyes shyly explored the shape of his chest, his sun-kissed skin riddled with scars.
When he reached the final button, he straightened himself awkwardly, feeling the fabric part as it exposed his abdomen to her. She shamelessly trailed the length of his dark hairs lower and lower, trying her absolute best to not get distracted by the enticing mix of muscle and softness. A large bruise bloomed the span of his ribs, right across a large, visibly newer scar.
Her eyes widened, feeling the tears already welling up; instinctively, she stepped closer, lightly reaching to ghost her fingers over it. Oh, Maker, Maker, why, why did she have to look at him with such devotion, something he could never deserve, especially not from her.
“Oh, Lucanis…” Kore whispered, riddled with dejection. She glanced up at him, silently asking for his consent; he simply gave her a shy nod, nervously bracing himself for her touch.
When the soft tips of her fingers ran down his scar, he shuddered from head to toe, accompanied by the smallest grunt of pain.
Exhilarating, just as he’d always imagined.
She tore her hand away, feeling the overwhelming guilt stab right through her heart; he immediately mourned its loss.
“Ir abelas, I’m so sorry-!”
With a shaky hand, he reached to gently wrap his fingers around hers and brought her hand back to his abdomen, reassuringly pressing atop hers. His ears buzzed, feeling himself falling into a stupor of her touch.
“Don’t be.”
A tiny sigh of relief left her, but the heat in her face only worsened; her hand felt like it might catch on fire any second.
“It’s not your fault. Just a pesky wound that refuses to fully heal” he grumbled, glancing at Spite, who peeked out from behind Kore, lovingly twirling a strand of her pink hair, scowling. She couldn’t quite hear him yet, but he was much clearer to her now, making it easier to read his lips. The intensity of his emotions reached her through the Veil - the hatred, that burning desire for revenge.
‘Nnnnnrgh! Zara! Calivan! Spite remembers.’
Her jaw clenched, feeling the familiar rage bubbling inside her from the day they freed Lucanis, multiplied tenfold by her growing affection for him since. Lucanis saw her eyes flicker, the way they did when she used her magic to slam Venatori into the dirt, the rawness when she slit their throats. It was such a stark contrast to her usual sweetness, but he adored it all the same.
Maybe a little too much.
The hand dangling by her side sparked for just a split second before she grasped onto the skirt of her pink dress, shaking relentlessly. She stared up at him, and Lucanis felt a part of him shrink as another threatened to swell. He knew much too well what she was capable of - how terrifying she could be, how powerful of a mage, more powerful than she even realized.
A mage. And he was her mage-killer, sworn to her service for the rest of his days. Enthralled, but no, not by blood magic, not like before.
It took every ounce of his self-control to hold back from kissing her.
The way her fox-like eyes narrowed dangerously, feeling her hand heat up over his skin; Lucanis felt like he couldn’t breathe, and then she spoke in a low voice, almost reducing him to a trembling mess.
“We’ll find her, Lucanis, I swear it. And when we do? We will make her wish she was dead. She’ll pay for every. single. thing she’s ever done to you, if it is the last thing I do.”
Spite dragged a groan of arousal out of his throat before eyeing her hungrily, breaking into a chuckle. ‘Rooooooook! Sooo. Protective. Lucanisssss. Want to? Get on your knees. For her.’
The Crow let out a strangled noise, shaking - he couldn’t tell if her mouthing ‘shhh, I’m here, I’m right here, Lucanis’ as her fingers lovingly traced his scar as she punctuated every word made his shivers much better or much, much worse.
La sangre del Hacedor. It was too late. Far too late.
She was nested so deeply inside his heart that tearing her out would kill the only part of himself that made it possible to get up every morning, to pick up his daggers, to not give up on himself, to not despise the abomination in the mirror.
“Kore Mercar” he found her full name spilling from his lips, daring to inch in closer as her eyes watched him so adoringly, a sentiment mirrored into his own. She felt her knees grow weak, hearing her name laced with his irresistible accent, uttered with such fondness, it made her wonder if she was dreaming of him again. They shared a thought which remained unspoken; the words themselves served only to hold the meaning that everything between them all but screamed already.
I think I’m in love with you.
“You are something else… unlike anything I have ever known” he shakily breathed instead, delighting in the flustered expression on her face as she broke into a smile.
“Says the scary mage-killer who makes me coffee every morning…”
Her honeyed voice alone was enough to drive him absolutely insane, to make him come undone from just the thought of it (as it had already…). It made him so vulnerable, especially when she whispered to him with those alluring, mismatched eyes, the twinkling specks of glitter on her eyelids, the length of her lashes. The fullness of her heart-shaped lips.
She was absolutely divine, and there was no deity, no Maker or whatever else, that could ever earn his undying conviction the way Rook had.
Her kissable lips pursed, preceding the coziest warmth that he’d ever felt enveloping the throbbing pain surrounding his ribs, calming it. He glanced down to see her hand light up, shaken to his core by the absolute adoration painted on her face - adoration, and… neediness.
A need to be helpful. To be careful with him. To praise him, to shelter him, to make him see just how much he meant to her. How he had saved her life.
But… she was hesitant. Scared. He felt her hand tremble and, as his was still steadied atop, he tentatively gave it a light squeeze -it seemed that was all she needed in order to feel safe, to allow herself to open up to him.
“I-I’m… not very good at this” Kore admitted. “I only cause destruction, only bring death.” She averted her gaze, shining with tears. “Or so I’ve been told. But, it turns out, they were right.”
“Over my dead body” Lucanis suppressed a growl, worried he might scare her with the murderous instinct taking over him. The swirls of pink around her face bounced so beautifully as she looked at him again, unsure if she had heard him right.
“Anyone who wishes to ever speak to you like that again may do so over my dead body.”
Her free hand reached to hide her own face as he heard a small whimper, but he - urged by Spite - lovingly pried it away.
“Please, never hide from me. Your presence has already healed me in ways I never thought possible. You hold me- this team, together, you soothe our aches, you aid our every endeavour, believe in us when we have been wrought of every drop of faith in ourselves. Everyone - myself especially - would not be here without you.”
“Lucanis… I…”
Maybe he was just too intoxicated by her scent, by the rosemary oil in her hair, by the vanilla of her perfume, by the steam of lavender surrounding them, but he finally dared to face the dread inside of him as he slowly closed his eyes, moving his fingers towards her face, almost, almost holding that sacred space of softness between her jaw and neck into his palm, to bring her into him, finally finally, finally, be brave, for once -
“Hey, Rook? Taash told me you might be in here, do you still need more lavender flowe- aaah- oh!”
Their steps were quick and almost soundless as they both pulled apart in the blink of an eye; Kore tucked a stray lock of pink behind her ear as she flushed and Lucanis cleared his throat, timidly pulling on his collar to close the gap in the fabric over his chest.
“O-Oooh…!” Lace winced, making a face as the realization immediately hit her. “Sorry…! Don’t mind me! I was never here!”
Harding apologetically set the basket of lavender flowers down with a grin, tilting her head towards Kore with a nod of encouragement before she rushed off.
They both exhaled in sync, looked at each-other in surprise, then looked away again.
“I-I should, um, let you enjoy your bath, before it gets cold-”“Sí, I, it would be a waste for it to get cold-”
Their hurried voices overlapped before a dull silence settled.
She was the first to giggle, followed by a faint rumble from his chest. They finally faced each-other again, bright. Light. Beguiled.
“Gracias, Rook.” “De nada, Señor Dellamorte.”
He shot her a scolding glance in an attempt to mask his bashfulness, met with a beaming smile as she brought the basket over to the side of the pool, kneeling down to scatter a few more lavender flowers into the water, glistening with whimsy. Her words were soft and song-like, tenderly infusing it with her magic.
“Sul ladaral i nehn, sul lanun'ven'ur'alas. Sur on'ala sal'shiral…sul…sul lath.”
(For healing and happiness, for good luck. For a wonderful/long life. For…for love.)
He had no idea what the Elvhen rolling off her tongue meant, but it made his heart sing all the same as she gave him a small bow and a sweet ‘ma serannas’ (thank you), leaving him to bask in the relaxing scent. He took another deep breath into his lungs, feeling his eyes roll back, feeling the warmth of her healing still engulf him so lovingly, feeling the memory of her delicate hand on his scar. He exhaled, unbuttoning the hems of his sleeves, letting the shirt slip off his shoulders. Two fingers reached for his forehead as he closed his eyes. He flushed a few shades deeper still, bringing more fingers to cover his face in embarrassment.
“Mierda.”
Spite huffed in annoyance, his patience with Lucanis running thinner by the day. He sat on the edge of the pool, swinging his feet into the water with a grumpy pout. ‘Want to. Take bath. With Rook. Take. Rook. Undress her. Wash her. Pretty hair.’
Lucanis finished undressing and sunk into the warm, periwinkle water, letting out a sigh of exhilaration as he imagined Rook against him. He pictured her dainty, loving hands soaping his body with utmost care; he wanted to caress her breathtaking shapes, feel every inch of her, every curve fitting perfectly in the palm of his hands; he wistfully pretended he could bury his face into her pink locks, inhaling her scent; imagined the damp, silken sensation of her wet hair between his digits as he shampooed it, holding it in deep devotion as she recited his name. He rested against one of the walls and rolled his head back, feeling the dull ache in his abdomen lessening, allowing his exhaustion to finally rob him of his consciousness as he dozed off, mumbling quietly.
“Spite?” “Yes?” “Cállate.”
#harding when i catch u harding........#ohhhhhh i spent... so long on this#i think i like it#i started it like 2342934 years ago and i thought it was a cute premise so here it is#its kinda long#hope its good... aughh#now the wish listing:#spite dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#plus sized rook#fem rook#dragon age#datv#my writing#{rookanis chapter}#dragon age fanfiction#dragon age the veilguard
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
#listen.....listen to me...listen.........this song will always ruin me#;;muse theme: the traveler#;;ship theme: kariomxthe traveler#;;muse theme: kariom#;;muse theme: kariom and bo#;;muse theme: kariom and milosh#;;ship theme: kariomxflynn#;;ship theme: kariomxvaleriu (magioffire)#;;ship theme: kariomxroui#;;ship theme: flynnxvaleriu (magioffire)#;;ship theme: flynnxthe traveler#;;muse theme: roui#;;ship theme: flynnxmilosh#;;ship theme: flynnxroui#it's a huge Kariom and Traveler song everyone fight me
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Guess what i fucking did it
#rolling with difficulty#art i made#rwd#wow im so glad im finally free from this. honestly#surprisingly this did not ruin the song for me?#cuz last time i made an animatic (/first time i made an animatic) it was set to drowning sorrows by mao buyi#so. two for two on animatics using cpop songs nobody on this side of the internet has heard before#and i could not listen to that song for like a YEAR afterwards#killed stone dead by overplay#interesting. anyway#in my planning spreadsheet the last two frames were written as 'how??' for the longest time bc my original plans only went up until like#the end of the lyrics?#then i realised the outro for this song is fucking long so like i needed to add something there but i wasnt sure what for really long#basically my point is the last two frames of MR-SN was. absolutely not planned from the start but oh boy#not to like gas myself up but like#i watched this once through again after uploading to youtube bc youtube.. really did not want to upload this in full quality for some reaso#and that time around that ending really broke through the whole 'i always get really desensitised to my own art' thing#yeah.#Youtube#as a side note if you're curious the character behind VR-LA in the thumbnail is 马 ->#chinese name of the song#bc can you imagine how fucking ominous it would look if i just wrote HIM really big behind him#so no. just this once i'm going w the chinese option
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾♀️🏄🏼♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I only write poetry on the bus anymore
#chunes#no particular reason for this song#I’m just listening to this album rn and it always makes me feel A Lot#but also like. makes me want to write bc I love his poetry#anyway poetry club was fun! nice break from The Grind#we had to write a little and then swap poems#I was worried I was gonna like ‘ruin’ somebody else’s ‘better’ poem#but it ended up being really fun and I stopped worrying about it and just kinda let myself Write Shit#on the bus now and I’m almost home so I’ll have to eat and then do some homework I guess#maybe apply to more internships lol#I also have some good short story ideas and my school’s lit magazine is taking early submissions w feedback soooo 😏
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
so i think i like the album version of the craving more than the single version but i really just cannot get over jenna’s whispering in the beginning, ik it’s supposed to be a soft/sweet moment but something about it is just so unsettling to me
#don’t want to gol so far as to say it ruins the song for me. but holy fuck it almost does#I guess I could always skip it but if im listening to an album all the way through im really not interested in putting that level of effort#ramblings
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy belated 10th anniversary to FNaF bc I forgor it was yesterday
#if it's still the 8th where you live wish fnaf a happy bday#10 years of the franchise that ruined my life when i was 11. good times.#i think my brain subconsciously told me tho because i decided to watch a bunch of fnaf videos for some reason#and also listen to the tlt songs. which are always banger.#i love fnaf but at this point tbh i'm mostly in it for the shits and giggles#why did fnaf not trend yesterday i mean this is a monumentous occasion#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#hila has spoken
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
During the 2020 shut-in era, I basically only listened to Coldplay and god the amnt of emotional nostalgia I get from listening to their music is so
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e3025682e7f79a1774d328638b9922ae/772cfaecf63d73de-5a/s540x810/da7406ce73e1a2d8365779ad167c55c44499046e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8c668d6402e8d2393de135b556f8bdf7/772cfaecf63d73de-fc/s400x600/c421563e6a4e5a3bfa4a9d0ad11268d2610a6fd4.jpg)
#the first 3 albums only btw 🥰🥰#theres some songs i rly like from their other albums#but nothing has the gut punch of their first 3 for me#and i listened to them a lot while developing my main oc ship#so listening to these im like SOB SOB ECLIPOIR SOB SOB SOB#i even drew art of them w the lyrics....#but now these songs are my go-to ship coded songs#so ofc listening to them now my brain is subconsciously trying to apply them to vettonso....#tho something i think is very funny is how this music is pretty basic right? not a bad thing!!! but like very well known normal music#but of course when i listen to it im making these over dramatic animatics in my head to them#and once i looked at the lyrics explanation for a song cause i was curious#and the reasoning was something super boring related to chris martin's marriage and it ruined the song for a bit LMFAO#i cant be thinking abt them in that context okay 😭😭 theyre the songs thsy form the tapestry for basically every ship i have#blah blah blah typical catie moment of 'i dont listen to these songs in the NORMAL way' calm down...#anyways getting emo as always over this music sob sob sob#I just love that music can instantly transport you back to a specific time in your life or a specific thing#i think I also was into rainbow six when i listened to this music mainly 😭😭 so now ofc theyre popping into my head#also my god: Spies would be such a good Bond song and i refuse to believe they didnt write it w that in mind ;;;;;#maybe i should put more thought into what songs of theirs i could apply to vettonso...#i really need to make a playlist for them sometime :D#catie.rambling.txt
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
no offense but like. i’m trying but i’m graceless. don’t have the sunny side to face this i am invisible and weightless you can’t imagine how i hate this graceless and also like…. i’m trying but i’m gone! through the glass again!! just come and find me!! god loves everybody don’t remind me!!!!! i took the medicine and i went missing just let me hear your voice just let me listen!!!! and y’know now that i think about it actually. all of my thoughts of you bullets through rotten fruit come apart at the seams NOW I KNOW WHAT DYING MEANS.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f9ff4f8d35d89509d62374634176749e/cf9d5e1642db9d62-88/s540x810/b7f26733f4200e3077b430d2f5da5b4c87ec22b9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3306912de7a8194732b64bcfc6ff982b/cf9d5e1642db9d62-b0/s540x810/5302d883377d41285d28ec5e934e29096e8aecc9.jpg)
#i am not my rosy self!! left my roses on my shelf!!! take the white ones they’re my favourites it’s the side effects that save us!!#there’s a science to walking through windows without you!!!! it’s fine. i’m fine#also yes this is about stevebucky again sue me. it's still catws season#and also just in general the national is ruining my life as always#i just rediscovered this song after a 2+ month break from listening to it on repeat#max.txt#the national
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
just realised something random: I've always been kinda sad that there isn't any media that my parents liked and shared with me, that sort of thing. I know of things that they like, of course, but it was never something they showed me or anything.
and I just realised that's because it was never something nice, something fun, something they wanted to share - no, they only ever brought up things that they liked as a way to say that everything I liked was bad.
#like.... my dad loved musicals. but he only ever mentioned them when he was telling me how bad everything I like (and basically all modern#music really) is.#my mother likes whatever songs are played on the one radio station she likes#literally that's her taste in music. always has been.#but still everything I've ever liked is just awful.#especially movies and shows. I'd try to show her things I was watching when I was younger. I'd record episodes on VHS specifically to show#her when I'd visit her next.#and she never said a single nice thing about any of it#and then I *had to* watch movies that she liked with her because she'd say she was tired of watching all this stuff.#so it was never a good thing.#idk I just feel like that really sucks. first of all it's just mean as fuck. but also like. I'll never get to listen to a song and think 'aw#my dad loved that song!'. it's only ever 'he hated this one. said this one was terrible. hated this singer's voice.' etc#and my mother's shitty comments have ruined things that I used to love (can't watch corpse bride anymore because it was my favourite when I#was like 15 and I begged her to watch it with me and to this day she brings that up as an example of what a great mother she is - 'I watched#that HORRIBLE movie about the dead people with you and didn't complain about it once'#bitch you complained the whole damn time and you have been complaining about it for 17 YEARS NOW.#ugh shitty people shouldn't have children.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank you jack stauber .....
#Listen to my problems#sorry its like the ultimate dirkjake song to me its so awesome#if you truly loved me whyd you train me to fight ?#like .. im sorry but the fact that all of bros abuse and all of dirks overbearing behaviour was truly for the purpose of toughening up his#loved ones ... well maybe not all maybe hes just like that#but he literally took it upon himself to train his friends ?? like sending jake the brobot and everything#specifically because jake is literally a sweetheart and a little baby and he knew this#he was like man you spend all day in the ruins of your house watching movies ? we gotta get you outside#im sending you a killer robot. he will save your life from the beasts (and he did)#and he also stalked him every moment of his life to keep him on his toes#and jake is always like man i hate your robot he keeps kicking my ass like heh ... but you levelled up didnt you#why am i talking about this its already 2023 im like two fandoms removed from hs (looks at my url and icon) ahhh ...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m afraid I drifted too far
#during quarantine and late middle schooly grades started slipping because I didn’t really want to do them and my dad would get mad at me and#tell me that I could do better why wasn’t I doing better. he said that I was smarter than ‘those fuckwads at your school’#and I’d get scared and not say anything because saying nothing is better than saying something wrong and I’d try to leave and stop the conv#and it would usually end in him yelling at me saying he wasn’t gonna let me drift away that he wasn’t gonna let me go#I hated him for it but I can’t help but feel that he was right#I drifted too far into the ocean and I can’t see land any more and the boat is slowly sinking and I don’t know what to do#inaction is better than a wrong action until inaction is the only thing that can’t save you#Genevieve’s playlist always made me think of that for some reason. Madeline and Eau D’bedroom Dancing and Havelina and songs by 1000 cherrys#she got me into Alex g did you know that. her and the others would talk about music so much and I wouldn’t understand but I’d listen anyways#and try to talk about it even though I knew none of the songs and I feel like I’m still doing that#I don’t think I can signal for help now. no one is working range to hear my signal#I’m just sleepy and hungry dw lmao I’ll feel better soon we’re getting ice cream#also woo name drop!!!! this girl ruined my perspective on life!!!!!!!!!!!#this will never happen again!!!!#also it was 800 cherries not 1000 lmao
1 note
·
View note