#during quarantine and late middle schooly grades started slipping because I didn’t really want to do them and my dad would get mad at me and
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I’m afraid I drifted too far
#during quarantine and late middle schooly grades started slipping because I didn’t really want to do them and my dad would get mad at me and#tell me that I could do better why wasn’t I doing better. he said that I was smarter than ‘those fuckwads at your school’#and I’d get scared and not say anything because saying nothing is better than saying something wrong and I’d try to leave and stop the conv#and it would usually end in him yelling at me saying he wasn’t gonna let me drift away that he wasn’t gonna let me go#I hated him for it but I can’t help but feel that he was right#I drifted too far into the ocean and I can’t see land any more and the boat is slowly sinking and I don’t know what to do#inaction is better than a wrong action until inaction is the only thing that can’t save you#Genevieve’s playlist always made me think of that for some reason. Madeline and Eau D’bedroom Dancing and Havelina and songs by 1000 cherrys#she got me into Alex g did you know that. her and the others would talk about music so much and I wouldn’t understand but I’d listen anyways#and try to talk about it even though I knew none of the songs and I feel like I’m still doing that#I don’t think I can signal for help now. no one is working range to hear my signal#I’m just sleepy and hungry dw lmao I’ll feel better soon we’re getting ice cream#also woo name drop!!!! this girl ruined my perspective on life!!!!!!!!!!!#this will never happen again!!!!#also it was 800 cherries not 1000 lmao
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