#listen. listen to me. i am in an angsty mood

[hinamie]

all i have left

[kimodraw]

ricstar (and friends) stuff

[mrsbarnesblog]

i need help

summary: Rafe has a breakdown and he finally asks for help

word count: 1.4k

warnings: angsty and fluffy?, crying, mentions of drugs and alcohol, ward is the worst father (this is ward’s hate space btw💋)

a/n: I just want to baby him. so yeah, soft/clingy Rafe again because apparently, I can’t write anything else right now🙂

You were sitting on Rafe’s bed, patiently listening to his firm footsteps on the staircase. The room was dimly lit only by a lamp from the nightstand and you fought back an urge to fall on your back and fall asleep with your face in his pillow. 

Yet the harsh and cold voice made your head clear of your thoughts and you finally noticed your best friend walking into his own room. 

“What are you doing here?” Rafe grumbled at you as soon as he slammed the door, turned the lock and turned around, only to see you sitting on his bed.

“What?” His bloodshot eyes were burning holes into you and you innocently blinked at him, not understanding why he was acting so weird.

“I said, what–”

“Don’t yell at me.” You interrupted him calmly. “We wanted to hang out; it’s been a few days since it was just the two of us. You never complain when I come here.”

“Ye-yeah, fuck…sorry, I didn’t mean to.” You watched how Rafe started pacing around the room, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes. He was almost shaking, his hair looking like a mess, and you would’ve thought that he was on the verge of tears. “I’m not in the mood right now, okay? We’ll do it another time. Can you leave now? I– I need to be alone.”

“No, Rafe, I’m not leaving. What happened?” Your brows furrowed, concern and nerves bubbling inside of your body as you watched how your friend and the guy you had a crush on was slowly breaking down. 

“Nothing. Nothing happened, Y/N.” He mumbled, still not staying in one place. “Just go.”

“I told you no.” 

 “Why can’t you listen to what I’m fucking telling you?!” Rafe snapped, stepping closer to you as if he were trying to scare you away. Yet you remained still in your place, not even flinching. Your brows shot up in silent question,  eyes were glued to his face, and especially to the way his own eyes became more glassy and watery with every second. “Fuck, fuck—I'm sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to yell at you.” 

“Then don’t. You know I hate it when you’re doing it, Rafe.” You continued calmly. “Sit here and tell me what happened. I see that something’s wrong. It’s been that way for a long time, right? You’re acting differently… C’mere.” You patted the bed near you, giving Rafe a reassuring smile. 

“I don’t know what to do, Y/N.” Sitting near you on the bed and holding his head in his hands, Rafe spoke so quietly that you could barely hear him. “I’m going insane. I have issues and nobody hears me.” You slowly, as if you were touching a wounded animal, put your hand on his back, slowly moving it up and down. 

“Tell me. I’m here and I hear you. Please tell me what’s going on.” You tried to sound as soft as you could, moving a little bit closer. “You know you can trust me.”

“There’s something wrong with me. I— I have thoughts in my head that I don’t like. They’re bad. They’re wrong. I don’t want to be violent or feel these things inside of me but I c-can’t stop. They’re stronger than I am and sometimes they’re messing with my head.” Rafe’s voice cracked at the end and you felt the violent beating of your heart in your chest. He sniffed a few times, desperately trying to be strong in front of you and to hide the disgusting things that were eating him up alive. 

“Are they dangerous to others or to you?” 

“Both.”

You slowly nodded, processing the information and trying not to show the way it actually freaked you out. Did you know that Rafe struggled with anger and was not everyone's favorite person? Well, yes. He was nothing but sweet to you, though. You saw that he was a nice person, with a good heart. The only thing that he wanted in return was to feel needed, important, and loved. 

And you always gave it to him. 

But realizing that there were problems so much deeper and that he was now screaming for help because he could not live like that anymore made you wonder how you could be so stupid to not notice the signs earlier.

“Did you talk to your dad about it? Maybe anyone else? Or is it just me? ” You finally reached Rafe's face with your hand, turning him in your direction. You’ve never seen him even shed a tear, not to mention the state that he was in right now and it was shocking how much it hurt you too. The look in his pretty eyes was so desperate and so hurtful that you felt sick.

“He told me to man up. Cool, right? Can’t even do shit without disappointing him. I–I said that I have problems, but he just ignored it. He told me to rest and that it'd be okay.” He smiled at you, even though tears were still freely streaming down his face. “I just thought that maybe once he would hear me. See me. Not Sarah. I’m so fucking tired of it.” He shook his head and looked down. “So it’s only you. Nobody really cares about me anyway, so...”

“Oh, Rafe… Come here.” He wasn’t resisting when you dragged him closer to you by his arm. No, instead, he wrapped his arms around you as if his life were depending on it. You hugged Rafe back, slowly lowering both of you on the bed, until he was lying almost on top of you with his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers slowly brushing through his hair.

What you noticed is that Rafe was always cautious with physical contact. Sometimes it seemed like he tried to be closer to you, sit near you, or casually play with your hands or hair, but the next day he was completely dispant and hesitant. 

It was obvious that now Rafe lowered his guards; he let you see the damaged parts of him and he craved your touch because it was the only thing that could ground him. 

“I need help. I’m tired of this shit in my head, and I don’t want to continue ruining my life with alcohol and drugs…but it just calms everything down for some time and I don’t know how to come out of this circle.” Rafe sobbed harder, his arms wrapping around you even more, until you were closer than you'd ever been before. Your own eyes were filled with tears, but you refused to show them. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. P-please don’t walk away.” 

You knew about Rafe’s lifestyle, but despite your words, he always made it seem like not a big deal, like something fun that he does at parties. Though now it was obvious that the facade that he had built was slowly falling down and drowning him in it too. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Rafe. It’s not your fault. But you do need help, darling.” You whispered, pet name rolling from your tongue faster than you could’ve processed it. “It’s important that you understand it. And I’m not leaving. It’s the last thing that should be in your head.”

“I do. I want to get clean. I want to be normal. I just don’t know how.” 

“That’s okay. I’m here for you, yeah? Your dad may not hear you, but I do and I’ll help you. We’ll figure it out together tomorrow, okay? Now you need to rest a little bit.” You reached the end of the bed, dragging a duvet and covering both of you with it. Rafe didn't move an inch from your warmth.

“You promise?”

“I promise, Rafe. You mean a lot to me; you know that, right? More than you think.” You whispered, soothingly brushing his blond hair again.

“You mean a lot to me too. More than you think.”    

[mythicmanuscripts]

I hope you know that this blog is my new obsession. You’re so right about everything you say I am OBSESSED. I read your sub!jace stuff and I noticed that you mentioned both that he gets super super sensitive after his orgasm and also that he gets emotional and vulnerable when sex is over and I just… I need more info!!! Info on both of these and info on them together!!!

Of course!!! Sensitive!jace is quite possibly my favourite headcannon of mine so of course!! Somehow this ended up being both smutty and angsty? I swear I didn’t start off thinking of angst but clearly the angst thought of me and now we’re here.

NSFW sub!Jace content below the cut :))

So obviously Jace realised pretty quickly that he got super super sensitive after an orgasm. But I also think that Jace tended to fall victim to a drop in all the feel good hormones even on his own?

It’s why Jace used to view masturbation as bad. It wasn’t because of any religious view or anything like that. It was just because every single time he got himself off, it would feel really really good until suddenly it didn’t and then not only could he not even manage to clean himself for a good 20min afterwards but also he just felt this awful drop in mood. More often than not he’d end up hugging a pillow and crying softly every time.

This is why Jace decided he would remain a virgin until his wife. He told people it was because if his wife would be expected to remain pure, then he would do the same for her. And yeah the thought of saving himself for his wife is appealing, but the main reason he waits is because he has no idea how to tell a woman that he’s going to get super sensitive afterwards and probably cry.

So he tries to avoid it. But of course he’s a young man, he’s not gonna be able to avoid horniness forever. That only gets ten times worse when his mother introduces him to his future wife. You’re sweet and kind to him, of course, but you also rile him up so easily. He gets so turned on he doesn’t even know what to do with himself and he wakes up hard thinking of you all the time.

I think maybe you discover this before the wedding even happens?

You have plenty of fun teasing Jace, stealing kisses from him when you’re alone and listening to his little whines and whimpers when you tug his hair. Everything about him is intoxicating, and you can’t wait until you get to experience all of him. You’d sleep with him before the wedding no questions asked, but Jace made it clear waiting was important to him so of course you never pressed the issue.

That’s not to say you didn’t sneak into his room and kiss him and lay on his bed and talk about your future. Jace genuinely loves every single moment of being with you, and he’s not as scared or nervous about things being sexual as he thought he’d be.

Until one day when things get really heated. You’re not quite sure how it happened but somehow you’ve ended up with Jace pushed against the wall of his bedroom, your thigh between his legs and he’s desperately trying to grind down against it. He looks so pretty like that, his flushed, his curly hair sticking to his face as he pants and whines.

You just have to see him come undone. There’s no way you can leave without seeing that. And bless him he’s so sweet that he asks if you’re okay with that. As if letting him hump your leg wasn’t indication enough.

You hold his hips, helping him get a proper rhythm and press kisses on his neck. You can feel him shake against you, and pretty soon he’s whines are getting louder and he says he’s close. You just tell him to do it, and god he’s so pretty. He flings his head back against the wall and gasps, his whole body going stiff before he collapses against you, shaking softly.

You catch him easily, wrapping your arms around him and telling him how hot that was. That genuinely might have been the most attractive thing you’ve ever seen.

As you speak, your leg moves a little and suddenly Jace is flinching and whining, mumbling “Please, no more please.”

You step back for a second, making sure your leg is nowhere is crotch anymore before pulling him back into your arms. But just the movement of him taking a step forward makes his cock rub against his underwear and the harsh fabric of his pants. It’s all too much, he’s way too sensitive and he can’t take it. He ends up collapsing against you, clinging to you and mumbling that it’s too much.

You’re confused, because you aren’t touching his crotch anymore but he still seems to be shaking and his hips are bucking up every now and then.

“Jace,” you say, your voice soft and concerned, “can you tell me what’s wrong? I can’t help if I don’t know.”

He says it’s starting to hurt, and then his hand falls down to his crotch. Only he actually pulls his pants one way ever so slightly and that causes even more friction.

Thankfully, that motion was enough to realise what was wrong and how to help.

You help him walk to the bed, wincing every time he whines and had to stop walking for a moment. By this point you’re so worried. You’ve never seen or heard of anything like this. You worry you may have seriously hurt him somehow.

When he gets to the bed, he tries to undo the buttons on his pants but his hands won’t stop shaking. You stop him, telling him to let you do it for him. It’s a testament to just how overwhelmed and sensitive he was that he didn’t even protest being naked in front of you before the wedding.

You’re as gentle as you can as you slowly pull down his pants and underclothes. And thankfully, his cock seems fine? Well, it’s not red or bleeding or swollen so you thankfully realise that means you probably didn’t manage to hurt him somehow.

His entire demeanour changes once the pants have been removed. He flops down onto the bed like all his strings have been cut. You lean over and press a kiss to his forehead before going to pout his soiled clothes in the washing pile and then wetting a rag with warm water to clean him a little.

When you get back, he’s crying? He’s hugging a pillow right, silent tears running down his cheeks. When he sees your back he tries to hide the tears but it’s too late.

You ask him if you did anything to upset him, and he shakes his head. Then you ask if you can help in anyway. He ducks his head for a moment and then quietly asks, “Stay? For a little? Please?”

There’s no way in hell you can deny him so remove your shoes and join him in bed. You tell him you’ve put a wet cloth on his nightstand if he wants want to clean the now dried cum that’s on him, or you could do it for him. To your surprise, this question makes him whine and turn to hide against your chest. He clings to you and shakes his head before finally mumbling, “Still too sensitive.”

That’s when you start to put together what happened, or at least a likely version of what happened. You’re heard of men who liked to be tortured by keeping stimulation on their cock after they finished, you know men are supposed to feel exponentially more sensitive after an orgasm. You realise that for whatever reason, Jace seems to be even more sensitive than most, so much so that his clothes were too much to handle after his orgasm.

And then he also seems to be very emotional? He’s just hugging you and crying softly, his grip on you as tight as possible.

You stay like that for a while until Jace recovers enough to form full sentences. Jace, of course, thinks he’s blown with you and that you’re about to go to his mother and announce that you won’t marry him. No woman could possibly want something like this.

That never happens of course. You just ask Jace what happened and why. You ask if you pushed him told hard, if you made him do something he didn’t want. He’s quick to promise that’s not the case. He absolutely loved what happened, right up until he came and then suddenly his pants were too much stimulation.

You just kiss his head and give him a little squeeze, telling him that the two of you will figure out what he needs together.

He sleeps easy that night.

(Good lord that was so long. I intended to write in general how this concept would work through the relationship but somehow ended up with this? So uh, I’ll make sensitive!jace a tag and then if any of you lads want to see more or add your own thougnts, you can send them through and I’ll add them all to the tag)

[strawberrysainz]

holocene. charles leclerc

charles leclerc x fem!reader

“ a quiet last day in london with your boyfriend, except, you’re not leaving with him. ”

a warning — angsty, suggestive, use of profanity. NSFW: SMUT. don’t read/interact if you’re under 18!

word count: 3.1k

i am terribly sorry for how slightly devastating this is. i was listening to bon iver and holocene just made me start bawling and remember this day (it is not entirely fictitious, after all… the artist is true, except i’ve never had the honour of meeting him; though his art lights up nearly every home around my home town.)

The soft sounds of a nature show in the background made her eyes close sleepily while Charles held her; the mid morning light shone through the windows, and she had a sudden urge to stand up. He stared up at her as she stood there indecisively, staring off into space, a kind of stupid smile on his face.

“Let’s do something today. Let’s go get lunch.” She said with a nod, and he raised his eyebrows, casting a glance to his suitcases that stood there on the wooden floor. “Okay.”

He got up, holding her, kissing her cheek softly, and they stood there for a second. “What do you feel like? Where do you want to go?” His voice was hoarse, sleep still coating it from their lie-in, and she followed him to her bedroom.

“There’s a really cute little restaurant down the road that does such good burgers.” She said, slowly undressing to pull on other clothes, and he had that strike of desire he always did when he watched her embrace her most intimate state - and he bent down to meet her gaze in the mirror, leaning to kiss her neck softly.

“You look beautiful.” He said softly, and he meant it, watching her put on makeup.

She blushed, and leaned up to kiss him, slowly, passionately.

He smiled, eyes sparkling with something she had yet to memorise: “You’re making this very difficult for me, you know that?” giving her a long, slow kiss, hands on her hips.

She broke away, bashfully. “Oi. I want burgers,” and laughed when he pouted.

He laughed then, unable to stay pretend-mad at her for long. “Fine, fine.” His tongue slipped on the words, a normal occurrence due to English besting him at times. She giggled as she pulled on a sweater, patting down her hair. She swatted his ass as she found a purse from the depths of her cupboard, and he rolled his eyes playfully as they left her apartment, going down to her car.

She slid into the passenger seat, patting her well-worn leather of the Fiat. He followed, starting the engine and pulling out of the position on the street. “What do you want to do after? A movie?” He glanced over at her playfully.

“You’re in such a movie mood this weekend.” She giggled, and continued. “But there’s an exhibition at some gallery in town of an artist from my home town - could we have a quick look?” He shrugged. “Sure.” (He didn’t really care what they did; he just wanted to spend time with her in her element.)

She leaned over then to stroke his thigh, comfortably, and as he did an excellent parallel park that had her nodding, impressed - she gasped when he got out and pressed her against the car, kissing her quickly, and when he pulled back, he grinned with a hint of mischief.

She laughed, leading him to the front door of the restaurant. “You look lovely today, did I mention that?” He said cheekily, hand on her waist, and she told him to be quiet, blushing as the waitress greeted them.

They ordered burgers and chips, and she studied the decor while he stared at her, memorising her face. He slid a hand up her leg, looking at her cheekily when she narrowed her eyes. “Stooop.” She groaned, fighting back a smile.

Charles grinned and moved in closer. “I think you like it.” He teased, voice lowering, and her mouth dropped open - the waitress returned with their food - and she thanked her, trying not to flush at his rough voice.

He leaned over and stole a chip- she in turn stole one of his. They grinned at each other.

💌🎨☕️🎶

They were walking to the Tube station, trying to figure out the best way to get to this obscure gallery, and a few people stopped to ask for a picture with him, but he never stopped holding her hand (much to her embarrassment, but also, delight).

His hand gripped hers as they stood on the escalator, smiling at a fan who called over to them, and they waited for the next train, getting on and miraculously getting two seats open next to each other. They slid into the seats, and their legs brushed as he pulled her comfortably into him.

“Tell me more about this guy.” “The art,” he expanded as she gives him a confused look, and she nods. “So back home -“ she got that wistful look on her face like she always did when she spoke of her home country, much like he did -“There was this pretty famous artist who lived in the town where I went to school. I took you one day for lunch and that ice cream when we went to visit a few months ago?”

He pretended to know exactly what town she was talking about.

“Anyway, this exhibition is basically his whole life’s work. He’s just this old guy. But his paintings are so, so vibrant and colourful. They’re in a lot of my parents’ friends’ houses.” He thinks about the paintings when she speaks, nodding, and leans back against the wall. The lapse in conversation makes her take out her phone, carrying on reading.

He takes a peek at her screen, and watches her peaceful expression, and squeezes her hand still holding his lightly.

“What’re you reading?” He asks, thinking back to the stacks and stacks of books lining her apartment.

“It’s translated from French -” she smiles when he instantly becomes more interested - “And it’s about this woman who’s like, fascinated with funerals.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you think that’s weird?”

“It’s intriguing.” She says instead, and his lips try to say the same word, the sound of his heavy accent distorting the word, and she snorts, “She’s kind of on a quest to be constantly positive. She’s very likeable. I don’t know why she likes funerals so much yet though.”

He nods thoughtfully, his fingers still entwined with hers. “She’s trying to find purpose in something others find sad.” She stifles a giggle at his enthusiasm to try and engage. It’s sweet. “I’ll make a literary nerd of you yet.”

(Unbeknownst to them, the woman opposite is recording, and it will go viral on Twitter and TikTok later, but neither of them will care because they were so terribly happy in that moment.)

He giggled softly, his heart swelling with warmth, and gently strokes her hair, lost in the comforting silence and the harsh yet low light and the peaceful rhythm of their breaths.

She looked up to check when their stop is - not for another three - and contentedly pressed her lips to their joined hands while she continued to read. His eyes closed, breathing even, enjoying her touch. “It’s been a while since we had something like this,” he thought out loud, thinking of the preciousness of the moment. She nodded, thinking back to when last they were able to sit down and slow down in public, not for an hour or two and then him having to fly to another country - well, it kind of was - stealing hours away in their apartments.

“We could try and do it more often,” he said, but it was more of a wish. She looked up at him adoringly. “I know.”

He leaned down slightly, their faces close enough to feel each other’s breaths. His eyes locked onto hers as he spoke softly. “Just think of what else we could be doing in these quiet moments…”

She quietly gasped. “Charles!” He chuckled softly, unable to hide his amusement. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingertips trailing along her jawline softly. He leaned in even closer, sharing this moment with her.

The sound of their stop being announced interrupted it, and there was a hint of sadness on her face as she looked up at him.

He reluctantly pulled back, and followed her, filled with longing to stay on this train for as long as they could. As they walked, he quietly declined photos this time, because he senses she’s a little upset. They walk up the stairs, up into the light, and she pulls out her maps app to find which way they should be going.

Charles walked beside her, his hand slipping into hers instinctively, offering reassurance.

💌🎨☕️🎶

At the gallery, they enter and the woman at the front has her accent too - presumably because of this exhibition - and she gasped with delight, leaving her heavy heart behind, letting go of his hand to hug her, and he watched them interact while some people stared at him curiously.

His smile brightened as she started rambling on about her connection to this guy. He couldn’t help but have a sense of warmth for how animated she became around her roots.

She pulled back then, and wished the woman a goodbye, starting to look at this man’s life, from beginning to end. Charles leaned in close, his arm brushing against hers as he studied the paintings. He couldn’t help but be drawn to the presence she currently exuded - the warmth, the joy to be there. She studied a particular piece and gasped. “We had a copy of this at school! It’s a famous street in town.” She pulled out her phone to take a picture, fondness coating her expression.

He listened intently, his eyes scanning the painting as she spoke. The image of her, taking in this same art as she did now, made him wish that he could’ve experienced this with her then too. She held on to his arm, feeling oddly emotional, and they continued on, laughing at some sculpture.

His gaze never left her, his touch comforting. He savoured this moment - holding on to her, this feeling of being completely at home.

She reached to clutch her chest as an old man with graying hair came up to them. She let out a little breath that Charles recognised as one of awe - it had to be the artist.

The man recognised her accent and they hugged for a moment, and he could see the emotion in her eyes as they fell into that language he heard snippets of every now and then, and he envies this guy for a moment, conversing with her in a language he was desperate to learn, to know to be closer to her, and he can tell she’s going on about how precious this all is. The artist reached out to shake Charles’ hand, and with a quick correction from his girlfriend he falls easily into English.

His heart beating a little faster, he accepted the handshake and held onto it for a moment more than he thought he would. He listened to their conversation, determined to learn more about what made them come alive in such a way that made him wildly jealous. She swats his arm so he offers to take a picture of them, eyebrow raised at her fangirl behaviours, and he captures the moment of sheer joy.

The artist moved away, to greet other patrons, and she looked up at him in delight, with unspoken love. He couldn’t help but feel terribly drawn to her in that moment, their connection deepening.

“I love you.” She says, not quite believing what’s she’s just said - for the first time - and his breath caught. He reached out to touch her, to hold her hand.

She looked back at him, a tentative little smile on her face. His heart raced. He leaned in, his lips hovering just above hers.

“I love you too,” he said huskily, filled with emotion.

She kissed him softly, briefly, trying not to draw attention. His eyes flutter closed as their lips met, tenderly, passionately. Despite her attempt to keep it short, he cradled her face with his free hand, and his heart pounded as they pulled apart.

💌🎨☕️🎶

On the way out, they’re gifted with a quick sketch on some scrap paper - an old ticket? - by the old man; it’s of them, holding closely on to each other, staring at a painting. Her hair cascading and his shoulders broad - and now she’s fighting back tears as they study it together.

He gently wraps his arms around her, kissing her forehead softly, eyes brimming with tears he tries desperately to keep in. They leave after thanking the artist graciously, holding on to that picture tightly. “It’s perfect,” he whispers as she snaps a picture of his fingertips holding on to it. He slips it into his pocket, love radiating from his every pore as he looks at her.

In her head she thinks, we could show our kids that one day, and that makes her burst into tears, and his heart aches for her, pulling her into his arms. “It’s okay, my love.”

“I don’t want you to go tonight.” She says pitifully, and he rubs his hand up and down her back. “It’s alright,” he soothes her. They find a bench in a nearby park, and she tries to calm herself down, but the impending idea of him leaving for two months makes her cry even harder.

He murmurs something comforting as he wipes away her tears with his thumbs, caressing her face. The tender expression on his face makes her still, staring into his big eyes. “Today was so lovely. But darling… I can’t stand not seeing you until the end of the year.” She sniffles.

His heart ached as he pulled her in tightly, holding her close. “But you’re always with me, my love.” He pats his heart, and her tears slowly stop.

“You know, when we met, I never thought that someone could come into my life and make me love her so much to the point where I would do anything for her. But now…” he says softly, “But now that you’re here I can’t imagine living without you.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Stop being so fucking sweet. I’ll cry again.”

He laughs. “I can’t resist the opportunity.”

She scoffs and hugs him again. He held her tight, heart beating wildly with love and desire, and trailed kisses down her jawline. “Fuck. I miss you so much already.”

She bit her lip.

💌🎨☕️🎶

“You know what would make me feel better?” He says, as they walk into her apartment building’s lobby, tracing a circle on her hipbone, “If you just text me every day. Even if it’s just to say hi.”

“Of course I will!” She looks at him, indignant. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her head.

“What time do you have to go?” She said softly, and he stared down at his watch as they walked into her apartment. “Two hours,” he said softly, and she stared up at him with an expression in her eyes that made him shiver.

She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him, languidly sliding her hands along his neck, lips parted as she pulled away.

A desire prompted her to slide off her jersey, and his eyes were dark as he moved to pull off his clothes. She slid off her top, standing just in her bra, and he let out a sigh as he traced her collarbone, kissing her easily.

He slid the sketch out of his pocket and left it on a side table as he was left in his underwear, and she was pulling off her skirt and tights so they stood there on the wooden floor, desire coating their faces.

The sight of her nipples pressing through her lacy bra made him groan, and he felt himself hardening as he kissed her neck, sucking it that made him satisfied to pull away from with the knowledge that his marks would still be left for the next few days.

She felt herself heat up, her thighs clenching as he pressed her down onto the couch. He kissed the valley between her breasts as he slid off her bra, and she whined deliciously as he sucked her sensitive nipple. Kissing down towards her stomach, he slid off her panties, exposing her wetness to him, staring up at her needy face, biting his lip and feeling terribly turned on.

He tentatively began to press his nose into her pussy as he began to lick her, and she was making sounds that had him a little shaky, his thumb tracing tiny, light circles on her clit while she moaned in pleasure.

She stared down at him, hands laced in his fluffy hair, and she could already feel how wet she was, rutting a little into his face which made him groan.

His desperate eyes made her nod, so she sat up while he took his aching cock out of his boxers, and her lips parted a little as she stared at the look of need on his face.

She leaned in to kiss him, his one hand pumping his cock and the other rubbing her nipple, and she arched into him as he pushed into her. Their eyes fluttered shut in pleasure, and she began to ride him, them both letting out little moans, and as he began to hit certain spots inside her she was pleading for things she didn’t know, her head everywhere but no where, feeling herself edge closer.

“So fucking hot,” he breathed, and tried to kiss her but they both moaned loudly at one particular stroke, so they just kept going, him becoming faster and his fingers pressing at her clit; she felt deliciously warm and desperate to cum, so she rode him a little faster, their hips rolling in unison, and she let out little sighs as his fingers began to circle her roughly, clenching him so he moaned.

“Cum for me,” he breathed, and she grinded against him, expression contorting to one of pure ecstasy as she began to reach the edge. He stopped for a second, becoming still, and she nearly screamed with protest, and with a smirk he let her continue. “Brat,” he whispered, and she let out a moan.

They breathily began to cum together, her breaths becoming erratic, his thumb making it nearly impossible to think.

As he came inside her, thick and warm, she came, shaking on his cock. “Fuck,” she whispered, and they were lying there, enjoying the pure pleasure of their bodies together.

💌🎨☕️🎶

“Goodbye, mon amour,” he breathed, and her messy hair and just her in a sweater of his made it so much worse. “Love you.” She said hoarsely. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly against him. He took a deep breath.

He pulled away slowly, gazing into her eyes. Her eyes followed him as he turned to leave. He took a last look at her, and stepped out the door.

💌🎨☕️🎶

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f1waglife charles and his new gf out in london today!

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author’s note: let me know your thoughts. like, reblog, show me some love in the comments. love u. i’m glad to be back. 💋

[cffeelia]

divine, divine | k. namjoon

“you are my pain divine, divine.”

summary: your long time boyfriend is the leader of the biggest band in the world. you’d imagine he would have some more time for you now that the group was temporarily disbanded, but he’s still busy with an album, leaving you to feel unwanted and lonely. it’s only a matter of time before he leaves for the military and all you want is to see him do anything but fall asleep in his studio.

kind of angsty but pinky promise it ends on a good note 🙏🙏

2022

bts has become apart of your life as much as it’s apart of your boyfriend’s, seeing as he’s the leader of the group. for the past 4 years, youve grown closer to the boys, growing a special relationship with each of them. from sitting backstage on tour, to placing blankets over them as they slept in their studio. you’ve seen all of their highs and lows, seeing as their moods basically determined your boyfriends.

namjoon lives vicariously through his band mates, if they were upset, so was he. 2020 was a rough patch for everyone, but namjoon took it so harshly. that was the first time you’d ever seen him sob, hands running through his bleached hair as he fell to his knees in your shared apartment.

“what am i even good for if it’s not music? and i can’t even get anything out in this time where everyone needs me. ____, why am i even here?”

all you could do was tuck his head into your chest, your mouth lightly parted as tears fell silently while he cried into your shirt. he’s never crashed this hard before, you needed to say something, anything.

you managed to calm him down after about ten minutes, the night ended with him wrapped in your arms, eyes puffed from his sobs.

thankfully, that year never repeated. you learned a lot about namjoon, his moods, how to comfort him. he wasn’t always a touchy guy, opting for words of affirmation both to you and to receive, but this year taught him how much he loved to be held by you. he would never take that for granted.

things went back to normal after about two years, and bangtan was excited to perform again for their permission to dance tour, though it wasn’t to the scale of the one they originally planned. however, the tour was successful, and definitely memorable for not just you, but your boyfriend and his band mates as well. you can still recall the night they closed off the tour, ‘mikrokosmos’ always would hold a special place in your heart, this group really loved their fans, it’s so admirable to see an artist hold that much love for people simply because they enjoy their music.

nothing good lasted forever, though.

june 14, 2022, during 2022 festa, bangtan officially announced their hiatus. you knew this news was coming since january of that year, but this wasn’t the bad part. if anything, you were excited to spend more 1-on-1 time with the love of your life, and for his close friends to get a break from the spotlight, but it wasn’t what you thought it was.

immediately after this announcement, namjoon was working like crazy on more music. their repackaged album was already out, and the busan concert went well, so why was he still calling you from his studio to tell you he wouldn’t make it for dinner again? that’s how you ended up in your car, trying not to violate traffic laws as you angrily drove to the hybe building.

“mr namjoon, someones here for you.”

the studio door opened to reveal a staff member, namjoon got up groggily from his seat, a little pissed of that his flow was interrupted.

taking the elevator to the first floor, he imagined it was probably some producer offering their beats again. why wasn’t security listening when he said he knew what he was doing for this album?

he wasn’t expecting you, hair braided out of your bare face. you wore his white tshirt and loose fitting jeans, clearly you rushed out of the house.

“hey baby. what’s up?” he slowly made his way to you.

“don’t ‘hey baby’ me, are you seriously doing this again?” you took his hand, dragging him back to his studio.

“what do you mean?” he struggled to keep up as you paced into the elevator, jamming the floor seven button

“____, hey, what’s going on? are you ok?” he cupped your face, dark circles hung along your eyes, your eyelashes poking straight out instead of their usual curled position. were you crying?

“no namjoon, im not! i thought you were done working on music, i want you to come home!” dramatically flinging your hands around, you looked longingly up to your boyfriends eyes, his hand still caressing your cheek.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t tell you. i’m preparing another album before i have to go to the military this december.” he smiled softly to you, but you didn’t return it. your face lost all emotion, turning back to the buttons on the elevator.

“i’m going home then, goodnight.”

“what? hun, what’s wrong? i’ll come home this wholeeee week. i promise, i just got a late start today babe.”

he grabbed your hand to stop your from pressing the lobby button.

“baby, look at me.” turning your head towards his smiling face, you knew you were in for it now. you planned to tell him off, and get him to come home. now you felt bad for interrupting his music process, and couldn’t keep up your angry girlfriend act any longer.

“just let me wrap up, ok? you can come with, there’s still some takeout in my office. give me thirty minutes i promise.” your eyes fell to his pinky, sticking out for you to interlock yours with and seal his promise.

you pecked his lips, looking away embarassed that he sweet talked the anger out of you.

“i love you, you’re real cute.” he whispered as he lead you into his studio.

2023

so much for the stupid fucking pinky promise, once again you were left alone in your bed. namjoon was surprisingly here tonight, but he had barely said a word, his exhaustion took him over, and he almost fell asleep in the shower if it weren’t for you coming in to brush your teeth.

now he was sleeping at your side, head skimming your shoulder as you sat, propped up on your pillows, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. it was supposed to distract you, but your for you page wanted you to remember everything that you were missing out on. you know this is a hard time for bangtan, but what about you? namjoon was overworking himself as if he didn’t have ten whole months before he would have to enlist.

you wanted to feel bad for him, it’s so selfish to tell him to abandon his work to come spend time with you. but seriously, what the fuck? you didn’t even get to kiss him on new years, he spent it with jhope, in their stupid fucking studio.

your phone flashed all colors of purple and white, the tiktok video was from an army recounting their concert memories from 2019 during the lysy tour. you remember that night, hearing thousands of english speaking armys defy the boundaries of language to sing in korean for bts. it made you cry too, but this video inflicted both frustration and sadness in you now.

you turned your phone off, tossing it to the side and climbing into your sheets, head facing namjoons as he slept. you let a tear roll silently down your cheek, you wish he could care as much as he used to. he unconsciously grabbed your arm, barely awake as he interlocked arms with you, and shuffled higher on the pillows. he basically was inviting you into his arms. hesitantly, you scooted until you were in his chest, you arms naturally reaching up to his neck.

that one tear became two, then three, then you lost count. hopefully he wouldn’t notice how soaked his shirt was, you sniffled lightly, careful not to wake him. you had almost drifted to sleep, exhausted from your heavy breathing while you let your emotions fall from your heavy lids. namjoon pulled you into his chest tighter, feeling the wet stain of your tears startled him awake.

he gasped lightly and groggily sprung up from bed

“what? what’s wrong?” you asked, flipping a lamp on, your voice hoarse as you tried to wipe your tears discreetly.

“what, what, is this you?” he pointed to the dark circle staining his loose shirt.

this only earned a sniffle from you, everything fell out all at once, snapping joon out of his sleepy trance, he listened as close as he could, extremely sleep deprived and barely even awake.

“i miss you so much joonie, it’s- it’s- like, not the same anymore!” you sniffled “all i want is to just enjoy waking up with you and going out to cute cafes again without music being behind it! please,” your hands slapped into your eyes, “please joonie can you just, just come back to me once in a while? why am i competing with your music? shouldn’t you prioritize me? i feel so unimportant.” your voice died down, namjoon wasted no time in tucking you back into bed, he let you roll onto his chest.

“hun, you should’ve spoke up. i broke our promise, i know i did, i should’ve apologized princess.” he kissed your temple. “i’m so sorry, ____, i’ll spend more time with you baby. it’s been so hard huh?” he tilted his head back to see your relaxed face, still leaking tears onto his shirt.

“yes, i just wanted you to come home, i feel like i’m loosing it, i haven’t even showered for the past three days, i didn’t wash my face joonie everything’s just a fucking task right now.” you let out another sniffle before looking back into his eyes. “when will you just be how you used to again?”

he felt himself recharge as he looks into your beautiful eyes, though half lidded. he felt like he could sleep in your eyes, they were truly heaven. so much so he forgot to reply, “i know baby. it’s ok, you’re ok, i’ll find a way to stay home more often, that sound good?”

you nodded, puckering your lips lightly, he kissed you once, then again, and again, then your cheek, ear, neck, then back to your lips.

it pained him so much to see you hurt over him, especially when he knows you’ve been innocently waiting like the perfect girl you are for him to say something to you.

after a while, the two of you fell asleep, arms crossed around each other as he caught up on some much needed rest. neither of you woke up until 2pm, joon replaced himself with a pillow, letting you sleep some more while he walked to the living room. his guitar sat in the corner of the room, where it had been collecting dust for two years now.

he rushed back into the room to quietly grab his laptop, also stealing a soft kiss on your lips, before he sat down on your shared couch. he knew what he wanted this song to sound like, he just needed lyrics and now, he finally found them.

copying your words, he began to play quietly. it took a while, but he got the premise of the song eventually, deciding to put the guitar down to cook the two of you some breakfast. he turned the stove on, getting to work making pancakes.

the smell woke you up, even though the food had been made, your boyfriend knew it could be reheated. if you weren’t ready to wake up, he wouldn’t come get you. so, he settled back down with his guitar, playing his untitled song.

it was the sound that lulled you out of bed. despite what you’d said last night, you loved to hear namjoon singing. you stumbled into the living room, sitting down beside namjoon as he continued his song, eyes skimming over you. the smile in his voice was audible. you layed your head on his shoulder, letting the vibrations of his voice relax you.

this was exactly what you missed, just quality time with the light of your life. you had never felt better than at that exact moment, it was the peak of your relationship.

just like his lyrics, it was divine, divine.

i have ideas for a part two if anyone’s interested 😽😽 lmk!!

[sanjisboyfie]

when you know, you know.

-> basketball player gojo satoru x male reader

requested!!! a rlly old req from an anon in my inbox <3 ty for the req and jm so sorry it took so long however the 6k+ word count hopefully makes up for that. + listen to margaret by lana del rey on repeat for the full affect

-> prev

warnings : satoru ooc (i do NOT agree w that warning but i GUESS I could see why someone would disagree 🙄🙄🙄), very fluffy to the point it seems angsty!!! talk about the homosexuals!!!! satoru mentions small familial conflict in the interview portion

diamond on your ring

cause when you know, you know

when you know, you know

“thank you so much for agreeing to a sit down interview, gojo-sama,” the interviewer politely bows to the tall man the second satoru walks into the room. immediately, he bows in response, finding the sudden formalities almost abnormal.

at this point, he was so used to other interviews he’d done be super quick, informal and just reporters looking for answers to their questions with little regard for things such as respect.

this was a breath of fresh air, but satoru couldn’t help but feel bad for the interviewer whose back must be hurting now with how long they’d been bowing.

“oh, please, no need for such strong formalities,” satoru chimed in, gently resting his hand on their shoulder to goad them into standing upright, “gojo is fine, too, no need for the honorifics. it’s not like i’m royalty,” he joked, hoping to lift the mood in the room.

it seemed to work as the interviewer finally cracked a smile and dropped their shoulders from being so stiffly held up to their ear.

“then, gojo-san, please take a seat and we can get you all mic’d up for the interview. it should take no longer than a half hour, longest running an hour and a half, but we really don’t want to take up too much of your time,” satoru shook his head, assuring them that it was fine and then taking his seat.

he noticed that the cameras were already filming, but didn’t think twice on it. technically, from the moment he stepped foot in the room, the interview already started. that’s what it said on paper, at least.

“erm, to just go over what we might be discussing in this interview,” the reporter said, clearing their throat as they looked over their list of questions, “since this is a very specific interview, the questions are going to mainly be centered around your romantic relationships and very personal questions,”

satoru nodded, moving in his seat to allow the staff better access in getting the microphone to stay hidden in his clothes, “yeah, my manager sent me the general idea of questions of stuff you’d be asking, it’s alright with me,” he said, taking off his sunglasses, “plus i think i’m pretty familiar with the publisher and the audience, so it’s alright. really, ask me anything, this would probably the only time i’d do something like this,” he encouraged with a friendly smile, trying to show his genuinity.

the interviewer nodded in understanding, clicking their pen and writing a note in their notepad.

satoru had done his research beforehand. the publisher that was interviewing him, or rather the person interviewing him in steed of the company, was a pretty vocal LGBTQ+ company. it was a rare occurance in japanese media, especially as a standalone party, but they proved successful. satoru knew why they were interviewing him, obviously because he was gay and very outwordly apart of the community. he also knew that they were always respectful individuals, which is why he didn’t hesitate in accepting the interview.

if he was going to be asked about his sexuality and his very much gay relationship, he’d rather it be done through a respectful, and most likely very understanding, person rather than those that would shout at him invasive questions.

“then, are you ready, gojo-san?” the interviewer snapped him out of his daydream, making him nod his head. “let’s test the mic really quick, then we can jump into it,”

“i am gojo satoru,” he recited, looking at the staff for a thumbs up on the feedback. when he got a positive thumbs up, the interviewer followed with their own test and then they were able to get into the interview.

“let’s start with introductions, i’m ishii haruto and i’ll be the one interviewing you today, gojo-san. lovely to meet you,” he bowed his head in greeting, making satoru follow suit.

a relaxed grin was on his face as he introduced himself again, “i haven’t said it before, but i’m gojo satoru,” it was a small joke that uplifted the mood of the room once more. haruto appreciated it, laughing to himself at satoru’s subtle charisma.

”well, to get right into the interview, let’s start with hard hitting questions,” satoru braced himself, clenching his fists in his pant’s pocket, “how are you?”

satoru smiled, shooting a fake warning look haruto’s way, “i’m wonderful, how are you ishii-san? i hope you’re doing well, too,”

“i’m doing very well. it’s an honor to interview you, thank you for giving us this opportunity,” haruto said, subtly bowing his head once more, “you truly don’t understand how inspiring it will be for the rest of japan to hear your story, you’re doing such a big thing for all of us in this room, and for those that will read this interview later. so, really, thank you, gojo-san,”

satoru pursed his lips at the sentimentality, realizing quickly that this interview was going to be really different than anything he’d ever experienced before. “sobering” up a little bit, he smiled at haruto and nodded his head, “i’m happy to be here, too. i hope whoever reads this learns something about themselves,”

“yes, that will be the end goal,” haruto agreed before looking down at his notepad, “well, i guess we can just start off with this one — when did you know you were gay?”

satoru hummed, “i don’t really know. for me, i guess it was always in the back of my mind? i mean, i never had a crush on a girl growing up. and i thought it was normal. my parents did as well, seeing how driven i was from a young age to be successful in basketball, i think they wrote it off as me just being determined to make my dreams come true. no time for distractions, or something like that. but deep down, i think i always knew.” he paused, crossing his legs as he decided to add one more tidbit, “and i never thought it was wrong, either. to me, having a crush on a boy wasn’t a big deal. i just thought, huh, this sucks i like someone, i might get distracted from basketball now,”

the two shared a laugh at his joking remark at the end, but until that point the interviewer was very immersed in the personal story. he was even humming in acknowledgement of everything he was saying, as if he related.

“so when you began pursuing your current boyfriend, it was not a big deal for you? even given your position as a famous basketball player?” then haruto looked at the camera men and held his hand up, a signal of some sort that satoru was cued in on, and leaned forward, “would it be alright if we refer to him with his name?”

satoru quickly nodded, understanding now that the hand gesture meant for their mics to be cut so that they wouldn’t receive any audio.

then they were back on and satoru answered the original question, “no, it wasn’t a huge deal. well, it was to everyone else, i guess. but to me and my close friends, it wasn’t. they already knew i was really into him and had a big crush on him before i did, so it really wasn’t a big shock when i made my efforts more obvious. well, as obvious as you can get with having everyone watching you. i tried to reel it in a little when my friend’s told me he may not be comfortable with all the attention, that was the only time i really was aware of it and began to calm down on my advances,”

“oh, so it wasn’t a big deal to you, but in consideration of his feelings, you kind of held back a little bit?”

“yeah, because if things ended up not working out, then all the neutral attention we were getting would have become negative. rumors could’ve started that would’ve hurt him, and i definitely didn’t want that, so yeah,” satoru said, reiterating his main point from earlier, “i just wanted him to be comfortable whenever we were in public,”

“that’s really considerate of you, gojo-san,” the interviewer complimented, making satoru laugh with a wave of his hand.

“he never asked for all the attention in the first place, i definitely didn’t want to make our already secretive position more hostile than it needed to be,” satoru explained, “so everything had to be toned down. fortunately, he was very understanding and could see where i was coming from.”

“what do you mean by that? did he ever say anything about it?”

“well, we’re just like any other couple. we just want privacy and respect, some people don’t want to give it to us. those people that just want to hurt our relationship just because we’re both guys. if i wasn't as famous as i am, i’d imagine it’d be easier to mange. not that it still wouldn’t be stressful — but at least, not the entire country would be breathing down our necks,” satoru explained, choosing his words carefully. “no matter what, though, if you’re in a relationship with someone of the same sex, it’s going to be hard.”

“that’s true, but you two have faced a lot of very hard obstacles. it’s sad how many times people have wished to see you two broken up,” haruto said, an angry look on his face, “how did you two manage to overcome those obstacles?”

“well, we had each other, loved ones, and close friends as support systems. they were really helpful and sweet, they were the most understanding. but i think, the most important one, was that we had each other. we were in it together. not to say that all the negative attention was good or even worth it, but it made our love for one another stronger,” satoru sighed, thinking about the early days when he was first officially dating [name], “i just wish they were nicer to him. he didn’t deserve any of it,”

there was a pause of respect from haruto before they continued on, “you said you had support of loved ones and close friends — were they supportive from the get-go or did it take “convincing” for them to understand?”

“most of them were really understanding and could see that my love for him was too strong to be denied, so that was nice. but there were definitely instances of family members not understanding or simply refusing to support,” satoru answered with a grim look on his face.

“how did you deal with that?”

“well, it was mainly family members, unfortunately, that rejected my lifestyle. so i had to do the best thing and cut them off. i couldn’t have them in my ear telling me that i wasn’t meant to be this way or that [name] and i’s relationship had to be put to a stop. so i cut them off completely and haven’t spoken to them since. i could afford to make that sacrifice since i had [name] and others as support. he really helped me through that and the realization that not everyone will understand or see it as we do…you just have to learn how to deal with it in each situation and circumstance,”

haruto hummed in intrigue and understanding, “was it hard? cutting them off and coming to that realization?”

“i would say it wasn’t as hard as one would think…not when i love [name] so much i’d sacrifice anything to be with him. i wasn’t going to settle for anything passive aggressive or half-assed when it came to support of my relationship with him. like i said, i wasn’t going to let anyone bad mouth him or our relationship, i wouldn’t settle for that in exchange of keeping blood relatives around. even if someone is family, if they hurt someone i love, it still counts for something. they’re still hurting him and in turn hurting me. that’s not family anymore,” satoru said definitively. he had a hard look on his face. almost the one that was only mirrored whenever he was on the court. it showed how serious of a topic it was to him.

“seeing you so be so openly protective and in love with your boyfriend has gotten you two a lot of attention over the years, most of it is praise from others since they do think it’s adorable. does affection that you show [name] come very naturally?”

“of course it does,” satoru grinned, happy to move onto more lighthearted topics. he had the widest grin on his face now, thinking of when he would go home and cuddle his boyfriend, “i’m a very affectionate person, anyway. ask suguru, he’ll tell you,” with the reference to his best friend, who plays on the same team as him, haruto grins, “but i made sure that [name] was comfortable with it first and then went on from what he was okay with, until we got to the point right now where we both don’t really care,

if i know i’m in love with my boyfriend, i want other people to know as well. there was a bad rep surrounding me, in my early days especially. everyone thought i was a playboy, for some reason,” he shyly scratched the back of his head, “so i thought that me showing that i was very loyal and very much in love with my boyfriend, people would stop thinking that of me. and it worked! so, it was a win-win situation,”

haruto nods, looking at his cue cards with a grin, “and you two have had a really long relationship-”

“almost coming on 5 years now,” satoru giggles, a blush evident on his pale cheeks, “it doesn’t feel that long, though,”

“yeah, it’s as if it was only yesterday the two of you made it public and sent everyone into a panic,” the two laugh at the memory. the headlines that day going hysterical over the basketball player’s very much gay personal life. “and since you’ve been in a relationship for so long, has it ever crossed your mind to tie the knot permanently? settle down with [name]?”

satoru paused, the smile on his face faltering ever so slightly as he repeated the question in his mind.

marriage with [name] always was the answer. but, the idea of when and where and how never crossed satoru’s mind. well, it did. in repeated passing thoughts. but, never long enough for him to commit to the idea. he’s thought of how he would do it, where, but never really when. and even then, the how and where were never set in stone. he wanted it to be romantic, definitely had to be something that the two would retell to their kids one day as the most romantic and loving gesture satoru has ever done.

but “when”…satoru never put a pin in the calendar on what date.

he hummed where he sat, resting his chin in his palms as he thought about how to answer.

“huh, well…i know i’m going to marry him someday,” satoru assures the interviewer, who was silently panicking that they had accidentally asked a question too invasive, “but, i think i’ll keep the details of that to myself, haha,” satoru played it off as a tease, but internally he was sweating bullets.

there was never going to be a right time. a right time insinuates a moment where satoru is so overwhelmed with love that a proposal would be the only verbal indicator of that feeling.

but, satoru has been so madly and deeply in love with [name] for so long already that the “right time” feels like every waking moment.

when the two moved in together, made that huge, empty house a home for themselves. when he took [name] on their first overseas trip and they learned even more about each other. when satoru takes him home for the holidays where he just so perfectly matches with his family members and comes even more out of his shell.

satoru’s been so in love with [name] for so long it feels like they’re already married. [name] knows him like the back of his hand and vice versa.

it was as if he always knew. he just knew in the back of his mind that they’d end up standing in perfectly tailored suits at the end of the aisle, saying heartfelt and cheesy vows to each other. satoru knows he’ll probably end up crying more than [name] and he knows that that day will be the happiest he’ll ever be.

the question made his head spin around as a flurry of questions of when he would propose filled his head, but it did solidify one thing. the fact that satoru just knows that one day he’ll end up being [name]’s husband and [name] his. and he wants that day to come sooner rather than later.

”well, i think the final question for our interview today that can wrap this up, will be: do you have any advice for young aspiring individuals that might read this and see this side of you?”

satoru gulped, suddenly feeling as if the temperature in the room had gone up twenty degrees. he tugged on the collar of his button up, swallowing as he spoke carefully, “just always be true to yourself and your dreams. it doesn’t matter what other people think because if you know what you want and you know that it’s your dreams on the line, there shouldn’t be anything standing between you and that goal. whether it be a person you want to pursue or if it’s your dream career, don’t give up.” he attempted a smile at haruto and it seemed to have done its work as the interviewer bowed his head deeply in gratitude.

the two finished the closing remarks of the interview with fluidity. he handed the mic back to the staff, who thanked him with their heads bowed. but before he could leave, he pulled haruto aside and lowered his voice, “uhm, could you hold off on publishing this for a while?”

haruto blinked rapidly, a nervous look coming onto his face, “well, the editing and transcription of the video will take some time, probably a little over a month…how long were you thinking of keeping it under wraps, gojo-san?”

it was a plead to not make him push the publication date back further. satoru hums, “a little over a month?”

“yes, that is what my advisor gave me as a “grace” period in editting everything,” haruto nods, the nervous look on his face not disappearing once.

“that should be alright then, sorry for worrying you. a little over a month is fine,” satoru grins, feeling his chest bloom with warmth. “thank you so much for the interview, have a lovely day,”

and with that parting farewell, satoru rushed out of the building with his mask and sunglasses on and practically jumped into his car.

in the safety confines of his car, satoru rested his head against the wheel. his breathing was rapid and his cheeks were ablaze. was he really going to do this? he looked at his phone that had the directions sent to the nearest luxury jewelry shop, his eyes flitting across the screen to take all the information in.

“seriously, satoru?” he panted to himself, leaning back to his seat and looking up at his car roof, “it took some guy interviewing you to grow the balls to do this? really?”

he cursed himself for waiting so long, setting his car into reverse and speeding his way to the shop. he had his sunglasses, hat, and mask on as he exited his car, careful to try and not attract too much attention. if the media caught light of this before he could properly do it, he would have someone’s head on a spike - he didn’t care.

no one was ruining this for him. for [name], too. satoru wasn’t going to let the stupid papparazzi tarnish this moment, as they had done for so many other intimate ones before this.

satoru grit his teeth, pushing the shop door open and breathing a sigh of relief to find that it was empty. he looked at the displays they had out, acting calm when on the inside he was sweating bullets.

“looking for anything in particular?” the attendent asked him, not at all acknowleding his appearance which meant that his disguise had worked.

he cleared his throat, still looking down as he shakily replied, “wedding rings, wedding rings for men, please,”

thank god the attendent wasn’t an asshole or else satoru might’ve really just slammed his head into the wall in frustration. because the attendent just guided him in the direction of where the men’s wedding rings were. he didn’t speak more either, just hovering around in case satoru needed help.

“fuck,” he cursed under his breath, trying his hardest to focus and think about which one [name] would like the most. “fuck, what if i get him one he doesn’t like? what the fuck does that mean for us? oh my god,” he panicked.

and it was almost funny. a 6’6 lean guy practically clutching his chest to stop his heart from jumping out of his ribs and flopping around on the floor. he was seriously getting heart palpitations, satoru swore this is the most nervous he’s ever been in his life.

what the fuck would he say when he actually proposes?

“i love you, marry me?”

fuck no. gojo satoru wasn’t going to settle for a shit proposal like that. and he certainly wasn’t going to settle for a shitting ring either, but it was so stressful thinking of whether or not his boyriend (manifest: soon to be fiance) would like the one he picked out.

satoru never was the one with good fashion or style sense in the relationship.

he was freaking out.

some of the rings on display were too loud and extravagant that he knew [name] wouldn’t enjoy it, but then going for someting super, duper plain was out of the question.

“do you have a particular agenda in mind?”

“i have nothing in my mind right now,” satoru snapped at the worker, apologizing seconds later, “i’m sorry, i’m just really stressed right now.”

“it’s alright, many are when they come in. they see the displayed rings and get self-conscious of the one that they choose. well, just go with your gut feeling on what you and your partner would like. that’s the best advice i can give you. you know them best, after all,”

this fucking attendent was right, satoru knows his own boyfriend (manifest: soon to be fiance) better than anyone. he just has to see something to spark an inspiration in him.

and he thinks he’s found it when he looks at a particular timeless piece that is cushioned on a small red velvet pillow.

“what can you tell me about that one?” satoru asked, although he’s almost completely set on just buying it right now. it was perfect. the coupled ring that pairs with it was also so effortlessly something he would love to wear as well.

”that one is in the style of an eternity ring, with the VVS diamonds cut into an emerald shape, obviously. the metal is platnium with 11 carats,” the attendent skillfully answers, “goes for about 9,871,750 yen ($70,000 USD). we offer installment plans, though-”

“no, i’ll just take it, thanks, though,” satoru said, easily sliding his card over. “i also want the paired one too,”

“that one is-”

“you don’t have to tell me about it or the price, just box them pretty for me and i’ll be on my way,” satoru grinned, looking at the bills he had in his wallet and pulling out a couple 10,000 yen notes, (adding up to about 200,000 yen - $1,417 USD). as the attendent very meticulously packaged the rings safely, satoru slid over the cash to him.

“thanks for helping,” satoru said, tapping his card and approving the transaction before walking out of the store. the hefty cash tip left on the counter for the attendent to gleam at.

and if he thought that the picking the ring part was hard, now he had to come up with how he was actually going to propose.

he always said that he wanted it to be romantic, but with [name] already waiting at home there was no way he could set something up at their own house. and, honestly, he wanted this to not be so public in fear of it leaking to the headlines. so he would have to settle with making it romantic in his home.

but, the more he thought about it, the more carefree he felt in the atmosphere. as long as [name] was just there exisisting, that was all he could ask for. satoru carefully pocketed the velvet box into his pant leg, keeping the pair safe as he drove back home completely undetected by papparazzi.

when he got home, he had to stop himself from automatically calling out to his boyfriend (manifest: soon to be fiance). the “honey, i’m home,” died in the back of his throat, thankfully, so his arrival home was still a secret. he took off his shoes and walked up the stairs to their shared bedroom where [name] was most likely resting.

it wasn’t too late, but by now his bedtime routine was probably done and he was getting comfortable in bed.

and satoru’s assumptions were right because when he gently pushed the bedroom door open, he saw [name] cuddled into a pillow and watching the TV that was set up against the wall. upon closer inspection, satoru saw that the pillow he was cuddling was actually from his side of the bed. he was cuddling his pillow as he waited for him to come home.

that, unfortunately, made satoru breakdown in tears almost right away. his eyes stung with the salty fluid breaking through his composure. [name] was too far to notice, though, simply lifting his head and waving him over with a loving smile, “you’re home! wow, you were so quiet i barely heard you come in,”

and when satoru just silently stood at the doorway, his hand covering his mouth, that made [name] get up out of bed in worry.

“hey, are you okay? what happened?” then he saw the way satoru’s broad shoulders shook, rushing over and holding him in his arms in an instant, “was it the interviewer? are you okay, satoru? talk to me,” satoru only broke down more, making [name] comfortingly rub up and down his back with “shh”s slipping from his mouth every now and then.

“satoru, are you okay?” [name] worriedly asked, gently pulling him towards the bed and urging him to sit. once the tall man was sat down, he immediately wrapped his arms around him again, hugging him as tight as he could to give him some sort of comfort, “you’re scaring me, satoru, what happened?”

satoru took a couple of seconds to collect himself, holding onto [name] in his arms as a means of grounding himself. but if anything, it made it worse. he was reminded that [name] was really real and not some figment of his imagination. he wasn’t just some “dream” guy, he was real and he was his.

[name] was sitting in their bed with him and comforting him lovingly. he was real and satoru never felt as lucky as he did than right now in this moment.

“nothing happened,” satoru breathed out, pulling [name] back from his torso so that he could properly speak to him. “i’m okay, really,”

“satoru, you’re crying. it’s okay, you can tell me,” [name] said softly, pushing his wet bangs aside and looking into his teary blue eyes, “it’s okay,”

satoru bit his lip, admiring the features of his boyfriend for a couple more seconds. how gentle his touch was, the hand caressing his face only having the lightest featherlike feeling against his skin. how concerned his e/c eyes were, staring into him and understanding him like no one else ever has.

he is so beautiful, satoru thought to himself. he squeezed [name]’s hand that was resting in his lap, making the man look down at their joined fingers.

”satoru?”

“i just,” he took in a deep breath, “i love you so much, you know that right?”

he almost laughed at the suggestion, but [name] politely nodded instead, “of course i know that, you show me everyday. i love you, too,”

satoru nuzzled his cheek further into [name]’s touch, relishing in the way the man’s warmth fell onto his skin.

“i love you so much, i’d do anything for you,” satoru breathed out, looking past his wet white eyelashes and into [name]’s concern eyes, “i’d do anything, i mean it. i love you so, so, so much [name],”

“satoru, you’re really scaring me. what’s going on?”

“nothing bad, i promise. just, please, let me?” satoru begged, voice hoarse and tight as he pleaded with [name]. and with a patient nod coming from the man, he continued on, “you’ve made me so happy, happier than i’ve ever been, these past couple of years. you deal with me and my annoying bullshit everyday, you make sure i’m healthy and happy even when you’re so tired. you always take care of me, more than i give you credit for and i’m sorry that i’m so selfish sometimes. but, i promise i’ll do better. i’ll be better, for you. anything you want me to be, i’ll work so hard in becoming, for you. i want to make you as happy as you make me,” satoru gulps, feeling his throat closing up and his tears welling back up, “i love you so much, [name],”

taking in all of his words, [name]’s eyebrows furrowed in confliction. he still didn’t know if he should be concerned and worried or just let satoru go on. but then he felt his own eyes well up with tears when he felt how sincere satoru was being. how tight his large hand was holding his own, as if he were afraid that he’d slip away if his grip on him loosened even the slightest.

even when he tried lifting that hand up to wipe his tears away, satoru didn’t let him, keeping a steady grip on his hand. instead, his slender fingers came up to the side of his face and wiped the tears away with a calm smile on his face.

“you make me so happy, [name]. and i'm so happy to be here with you. you make everything worth it,” satoru said softly, “you love me so gently, so softly — unlike anyone else in my life has. you’re my entire world. i don’t know what i’d do without you here. i know i’m meant to stay by your side forever. i know my place in the world is wherever you are.”

there was a pause as now both of them were crying messes.

[name]’s eyes were shut as he tried to wipe his stream of tears away. so he didn’t see the way satoru dug through his pocket to take out the velvet box. and he didn’t see the way his hands shook as he propped the box to be open, didn’t see how nervous satoru looked in the moment of unveiling the ring.

what he did see though was the ring blaringly presenting itself to him and a grinning, crying satoru behind it. he heard the words leave his lips, “let’s stay together forever, okay? please, marry me, [name],”

and [name] didn't react.

not immediately. he was too shocked. his jaw had dropped and he looked between the ring and satoru, who was still happily crying. then, finally, he snapped out of it and enclosed his arms around his boyfriend’s (fiance’s?) neck and sobbed into his skin, “yes, yes, yes,” over and over.

satoru cried more, this time a smile on his face as he cried into the air. he felt the stream of wet tears go down his neck, but he didn’t pay them any mind. he only held [name] closer by his waist in a suffocating embrace.

he didn’t know if he believed in multiple universes theory, whatever that was, but he just wishes that if it were true: he’d find [name] in every single one. [name] was his one and only comfort in the hectic life that he lives, the one stable root that keeps him grounded.

the two seperated, smiling and laughing with each other as they messily kissed in celebration. when they pulled away, [name] and satoru watched as the latter shakily slipped the ring onto the former’s ring finger. and the h/c haired man had to cover his mouth once more at the sight. it was slightly loose, running on the bigger side, but it was perfect. he didn’t care. it could have been a paper ring and it would have been perfect.

“i love you satoru, so much, you don’t understand,”

“i love you more,” the other softly breathes out, staring at [name]’s ringed finger with pride, “more than you’d ever know.”

the two smiled and laughed at their confessions, joining in another hug as they were high off of their dopamine. wordlessly, satoru collapsed onto the bed with [name] laying on top of him. and as he took the other velvet box out, he tried slipping the ring onto his finger. but it didn’t even fit on his ring finger, so he had to work with it on his pinky.

“it’s kind of cute that way,” [name] says in amusement, comparing their hand size and laughing at the difference, “i like it,”

“if you like it that way, we can keep it this size, then,” satoru said simply, kissing the top of [name]’s head.

“wear it however you want to, satoru, it’s your ring,” [name] chides him, looking up to softly glare at him.

“the ring doesn’t mean anything by itself, you're the one that gives it meaning,” satoru says, squeezing [name]’s shoulders to bring him closer, “if you like it on the pinky, it stays on the pinky.”

rolling his eyes and deciding that nothing is going to get through his fiance’s head, [name] gave up on challenging satoru. instead, he cuddled closer into his side and breathed in his faint cologne and natural scent.

“i love you, satoru. my dear fiance,” he said into the fabric of his dress shirt, smiling against satoru’s ribs as he repeated the phrase in his head.

satoru didn’t bother biting back his smile as he tilted [name]’s head up to look up at him. he kissed him softly, gently moving their lips against each other in a passionate kiss. and when he pulled away, he made sure to keep eye contact as he said, “i love you more, [name], my dear fiance,”

[i-cant-sing]

PLS PLS WRITE THE PLATONIC YANDERE MIGUEL OHARA FIC IM BEGGINF 🙏🙏🙏🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️WE NEED MORE PLATONIC FICS OF THIS MAN

(Thank you for reading this and have a great day!!)

I definitely see dad Miguel treating reader like a child, no matter what age you are. You could be a strong, independent woman, and to Miguel... you're a baby🥺 Everytime you get frustrated when he tells you no, or doesn't allow you to do what you want, he thinks you look absolutely adorable, your brows furrowed and your nostrils flared, and Miguel just has to just lean down to your level and you think that he's gonna offer you an explanation and in his mind, he does, but all he really says is-

"I know what's best for you, mija."

And if you dare to say "you're not my dad!", he won't say anything because yeah, you're right, but he will stare at you intimidatingly until you either take your words back or change the topic.

I think Miguel is not someone who talks much (but he still expects you to converse with him regularly) and so when he doesn't wanna argue with you, he may or may not shoot a web to seal your lips shut, just so that you give him enough time to explain (which again he doesnt), but he does use this time to tell you that you're grounded and then again, uses his strength against you to pick you up like a little bratty kitten and drop you back to your room.

I also think that Miguel definitely sees you as this helpless creature that would absolutely DIE without him. It doesn't matter if you're a spider-person like him, no. To him, you're just a frail kitten that needs papa Miguel's help to shelter her from the pouring rain and bubble wrap you and cuddle you and just- protect you from this all too harsh world.

And you could be trying to break free from his grasp, going of about how he didnt need you to pull you from your universe, how you had your life under control and what not, and Miguel would just sigh and shake his head and mutter "Teenagers🙄" EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADULT.

Miguel isnt someone who talks about his feelings, definitely not at first, he just bottles everything up until the lid pops off and someone else has to face his fury. BUT that doesn't he doesn't expect you to talk about yours. He's super observant so the moment he notices the slightest change in your mood, or the way you breathe, oh he's bugging you to tell him whats wrong. I mean he's breathing down your neck, which as you already know isnt great because he is the only person you're allowed to talk to (minus Peter B Parker and Mayday), and eventually, he may even tie you upside down with his web to make you talk. And he's just nodding and offering up solutions/therapeutic advices (not really, they're just compromises) while you're getting blood rush from hanging off the ceiling for so long.

Also going back to the "you're not my dad!" thing, I think if you say it enough times, it does start to hurt him and eventually he reaches a breaking point where he does end up getting mad and bares his teeth at you as he yells "I AM, NOW! AND IF YOU DON'T START LISTENING TO ME MIJA, YOU WILL REGRET IT! NOW, MARCH OFF TO YOUR ROOM!" And sure, you get spooked enough to run off, but not before you yell like a very cliche, angsty teen "I hate you!" and you slam your door close before he could scold you again. He still comes right up to your door, probably to ground you even more, but he doesnt have the heart to open the door when he hears your sobs. Damn, now you just broke his heart. So, Miguel leaves, deciding its best that you two get some space to cool off.

Now I see Miguel as the type of dad who doesnt really apologise (mostly because he doesn't feel like he's done anything wrong) but instead offers a parley or a white flag of sorts in the form of food (like some cut up fruits and veggies, or even your fav takeout) and sure, his heart is still heavy with guilt, even more so when he sees your swollen red eyes indicating how you've been crying for days, so he clears his throat, maybe shifts in his seat a little and asks about your day or something random, heartbreak intensifying 100X when you refuse to talk to him, making him resort to something thats... uncomfortable for you both.

A hug.

I mean this has to be the most awkward hug in history, because Miguel just swoops you up and places you in his lap, pulling you to his chest and telling you that he's not letting go until you talk. STILL NOT APOLOGISING, I mean there is a greater likelihood that you may end up apologising to him but Miguel sure as hell isnt saying the word "sorry" (unless you're dead, specifically if u die in his arms hehe).

[atinyniki]

they wait.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee minho x f!reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, breakup and makeup, minho has bad eating habits after, minho and y/n both suffer a lot through heartbreak, neglecting, love confessions, petnames.

authors note: idk why but im in such an angsty mood... hope you like this :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1424

“minho…”

“no! this isn’t fair. you knew what you were getting into when we started dating, you can’t complain about these things!”

“of course i can! i don’t know how im meant to be a proper girlfriend when i don’t even see you most of the time!”, you retort with a huff.

“listen… im trying. i really am, but i just can’t right now. it’s not easy for me to take a break right now, and it wouldn’t be worth it in the long run.”

“im not worth it?”

“y/n, that’s not what im sayi—“

“i want to break up.”

sure the decision was impulsive, but you’ve been thinking about it for a while now. this isn’t fair to you, not at all. 

“what?”

“i want to break up”, you repeat.

“o-okay…”

“just ‘okay’? do you really not fucking care? i’ve been here for months, just trying to get you to take a fucking break, not just for me, but for yourself. and all i get is an ‘okay’?”

“well… what do you want me to say? you were the one that suggested it…”, his voice gets quieter as the words go on. you don’t want to feel bad, but you do.

but you can’t let anything get in the way of your pride, not now. “fuck you, lee minho.”

you grab your things and leave, sprinting to your apartment as fast as you can. you pray he’s not following behind, you don’t think he’d waste his time doing that anyways.

and then the words ring out in your head. you aren’t worth it.

but you are, you convince yourself. you are worth it, and he isn’t. he isn’t worth your time or your thoughts, so you just shake it off. there’s no need to think about him anymore.

it’s over. he doesn’t need you. you don’t need him.

it’ll be fine now, right?

minho hasn’t been to the dorms since the breakup, not even once. he hasn’t been answering calls or opening his door, no one even knows of his presence anymore.

the boys have called you multiple times, and you’ve had to explain everything to them. they sounded mad over the phone, but they were truly worried about minho. is something wrong with him?

minho hasn’t been able to get out of bed as much lately. after showering and eating, he just hops right back in. there’s pillows occupying your side of the bed, something to keep the empty space warm for you.

but you’re not coming back. and he knows it.

that’s why he’s been sat in his bed for the past two days, scrolling through his past messages with you. he ignores the ones from the past two months, scrolling all the way to the start of your relationship.

how did he get here? how did he ruin something so perfect?

you used to text eachother so much, yet the only recent messages have been ‘i miss you’s or ‘are you busy’s

he has a message typed out, it’s been like that since you left after the argument. he hasn’t found the courage to send it yet, only contemplating for twenty minutes to delete it again.

all of a sudden, soonie hops onto his bed, nuzzling into his leg. “hi baby…”, he coos.

he scratches behind his ears, and soonie leans into his touch. it reminds minho of the times he’d run his fingers through your hair, smiling at you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

but it’s all gone now.

and it’s all his fault.

all of a sudden, soonie crawls onto minhos lap, purring and nuzzling into his stomach. he steps over the phone, and it buzzes, but minhos too focused on soonies movements to notice.

he shuts his phone off, putting it away and calling it a night. he turns it back on to check the time.

3:57 am.

he really has to fix his sleeping schedules, but it’s just hard to sleep without you now.

he lays down, still petting soonie lightly. “i’ve got myself into some deep shit… haven’t i soonie?”

he thinks he might be going insane, talking to his cat like he’s a therapist.

“i wish i could’ve told her i loved her sooner.”

“i miss her lots, soonie. do you ever miss me when im away?”

“im so sorry soonie…”

the buzz of his phone finally breaks him out of his thoughts, and he leans over to grab it. it’s almost five am now, who would be texting him so early?

and then he checks the name.

his heart plummets to his stomach once he sees that it’s you, he doesn’t know how to feel. he finally reads it over.

my bunny <3: why should that matter to me?

that’s when he realizes the text doesn’t make any sense. he unlocks his phone, did he send the message?

and then he sees it. soonie must have sent it when he stepped over the phone, and it has minho spiraling.

minho: i’m still here.

he thinks of what he could probably say to explain himself, and that’s when he realizes.

he doesn’t have to anymore.

he can’t let his pride get in the way of his heart, so instead of explaining, he types out an apology.

minho: i’m still here for you if you’d like to talk. i’m so sorry for not acknowledging the issue sooner. i really wish i had, and i regret not apologizing. i regret just letting you break up with me. i should have begged you to stay, you’re too amazing to lose. minho: but then i realized that maybe it would be selfish of me to ask you to stay. especially after all i’ve done to you. i’m so sorry, y/n. maybe it’s still selfish, but im not sure if i want to let go. my heart still wants you, and i miss you a lot, but i know this is what i deserve. minho: just let me know if you want to talk, okay? i’m right here.

he realizes how much he’s sent, instantly regretting it. the messages came straight from his heart, he didn’t give them a second thought before sending them.

the typing bubble shows up, only to disappear, and now he truly thinks he’s fucked up.

soonie curls back up into his lap, staring at the screen with him. his phone buzzes again, and he reads the next message.

my bunny <3: minho, i don’t know about this… my bunny <3: i might need some time to think, im not sure if im ready to jump back into something like this yet. minho: then i’ll wait. my bunny <3: what? why? minho: because that’s what people do when they’re in love. minho: they wait. my bunny <3: you love me? minho: i’ve loved you since the day i saw you playing with the cats for the first time. my bunny <3: but that was only a week after i met you? minho: exactly. my bunny <3: im coming over. i’ll be there in five.

he wants to get up and get ready, but he cant. he can’t get up, his body feels like it’s going to give out on him. he tries to stop crying, just so that you don’t see him like this, but the tears won’t stop flowing.

you unlock the door with the key he gave you.

“minho?”

no answer.

you turn to his room, opening the door. the sight of him like this breaks your heart.

his eyes are red, he’s slimmed down a lot and he looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“minho…”

“i’m sorry.”

“what? minho—“

“i’ll do anything to have you back. please… i’m sorry”

he clutches the sheets tighter, tears spilling from his eyes at a steady pace.

“i’m not mad at you, you know that right?”

“you should be mad. i was so terrible to you…”

“but you’re going to change that now, aren’t you?”

“does this mean you’re going to give me another chance?”

you smile at him, walking over to grab his hand. he clutches it tight, afraid that this may be one of the last moments he can do this. 

“we can try again… see where things go. but if you do something like this again, it’s over.”

he finally smiles after so long, pulling you onto the bed and holding you in his arms. 

“please don’t do that again, min… you scared me.”

“i won’t, i promise. i love you, bunny.”

“i love you too, minho.”

<3

[moonselune]

Okay somewhat angsty thought here, but I hope it's not too bad. What about the companions (at least Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Astarion and Karlach if that's not too many) with a s/o who seems really upbeat and energetic, but is secretly terribly insecure. Like if the topic of their first time ever comes up, Tav suddenly gets nervous and tries to explain that their body looks weird and they look hideous or something like that, because they're really insecure about their looks, especially when unclothed. I'd love to see how they'd react to that and try to help Tav (if you're comfortable of course)

I have a jaw deformity that I need to get surgery for and I'm super underweight so I'm way too skinny, so I'd really appreciate it if you could write something like this. I hope you have a good day ☺️

bless you and just so you know - you are gorgeous no matter how you feel about yourself. I hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy what I have tried to capture xoxo - sorry they are a tad short!

Gale:

Gale had always been captivated by your vibrant energy, how effortlessly you could lighten the mood with your infectious laughter and playful banter. But when the topic of your first intimate moment together surfaced, he noticed a subtle shift in your demeanor—a flicker of uncertainty that belied your usual confident facade.

As you nervously began to voice your insecurities about your body, Gale's heart clenched with empathy. He gently took your hands in his, his touch warm and reassuring. "My dear," he murmured, his voice a soothing melody in the quiet space between you, "there is no such thing as imperfection in my eyes. You are beautiful in ways that go far beyond what meets the eye."

He lifted your chin tenderly, meeting your gaze with unwavering sincerity. "Your spirit, your resilience—they are what make you truly radiant," he continued, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. "Your body tells a story of strength and perseverance, and I am honored to witness it."

Gale pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as he whispered words of affirmation and love. "You are cherished, just as you are," he assured you, his embrace a sanctuary from your doubts.

Wyll:

Wyll had always admired your boldness, your readiness to face challenges with a grin and a quip. But when you voiced your insecurities about your appearance during a moment of vulnerability, he was taken aback. His usual confident demeanor softened, replaced by a gentle concern as he observed your discomfort.

"Y/N" Wyll began softly, his voice a steady anchor amidst the storm of your doubts. "Your beauty transcends any perceived flaw." He reached out, his fingers tracing a gentle path along your jawline, his touch warm against your skin.

"You are captivating," he continued, sincerity coloring his words. "Your courage, your laughter, your smile—they make you irresistibly charming." Wyll's gaze held yours with unwavering sincerity, his voice carrying a hint of admiration.

He pulled you into a tender embrace, holding you close as he pressed a kiss to your temple. "I see the strength in you, in your body" he murmured against your skin, "and it is what makes you truly remarkable."

Halsin:

Halsin had always been drawn to your resilience, your unwavering optimism even in the face of adversity. When you opened up about your insecurities regarding your body, he listened attentively, his expression thoughtful and empathetic.

"My heart," Halsin began gently, his voice a soothing balm to your doubts. "Your appearance does not define your worth. To me, you are a testament to beauty in its truest form—inside and out." He reached out, his hand brushing lightly over yours.

"You are more than enough," he assured you, his gaze unwavering with sincerity. "Your spirit shines brighter than any physical attribute." Halsin's voice held a quiet strength, a reassurance that echoed through his touch.

He enveloped you in a comforting embrace, his presence a source of calm amidst your uncertainty. "I see you," he murmured against your ear, "and I admire you deeply, just as you are."

Astarion:

Astarion had always been fascinated by your lively spirit, your quick wit, and the way you effortlessly commanded attention. But when you revealed your insecurities about your body during a moment of vulnerability, he felt a pang of empathy. His usual teasing demeanor softened, replaced by a gentle concern as he observed your discomfort.

"You are not alone in feeling insecure about your appearance, Gods know that. But you are breathtaking." He gently cradled your face in his hands, his touch tender and reassuring.

"Your beauty lies not only in your appearance, but in your strength, your kindness, and your spirit," he continued, sincerity coloring his words. "Those are the qualities that make you truly irresistible." Astarion's gaze held yours with unwavering intensity, his voice carrying a hint of admiration.

He pulled you close, enveloping you in a reassuring embrace. "I see the beauty in you," he murmured against your ear, "and I am here to remind you of it, every day."

Karlach:

Karlach had always admired your fierce determination, your unwavering loyalty, and the way you faced challenges head-on. But when you expressed your insecurities about your appearance during a vulnerable moment, she felt a deep sense of concern.

"You are not defined by how you perceive yourself physically. To me, you are captivating—inside and out." She reached out, her hand resting reassuringly on your shoulder.

"Your courage, your resilience—they are what make you incredibly attractive," she continued, sincerity coloring her words. "I understand your insecurities, but trust me, they don't diminish your beauty."

Karlach pulled you into a supportive embrace, holding you close as she whispered words of affirmation. "You are loved," she assured you, her embrace a testament to her unwavering support. "And I am here to remind you of your strength and beauty, always."

Icl it was hard writing this but I am proud of it and I hope that at least some people draw comfort from it - Seluney xoxox

[deathmetalangel]

HARDLY SEEMS FAIR

robby keene x fem! reader

warnings: "casual" relationship", swearing, arguments, crying, heavily ldr coded, implied hookups, slut shaming, cheating, angsty

“in what world is that fair robby?"

oke so this is kinda a retconnned chapter from my wattpad book that i'm just extending and making more ambigious instead of clearly x oc. i hope y'all like it tho. i am sorry i have been gone for so long :(

Y/n plays with the ends of Robby's hair. He was laying with his head in her lap while they just relaxed in her room. It was calm, domestic. A small and very rare moment for just the two of them. No outside force would intrude and break their safe haven. There was no what if's that lingered in the air. Nor past resentments that hung over them like an ominous cloud determined to damper their moods. 

It was just Y/n and Robby. And that's all they'll ever be. No labels. She figured that much after the last time she'd brought it up. But she's become so full of him she can't even bring herself to care. She'd rather have what they have now, whatever it may be with him. Rather than risking losing him, and the routine she's started to build around him. 

She hums softly. Her mind far off. "Y/n?" She hymns in acknowledgement without turning her head. "Something happened this weekend."

He was lying. This had been going on for weeks. He had been having doubts for weeks. He'd been seeing her for weeks. "What happened? Another karate fight?" She wasn't the girl who got heartbroken. She was never the second choice. She got what she wanted. And she wanted him, however she could have him.

"I kissed Sam Larusso."

Y/n freezes. Her body betraying her as she tenses up. She has no right, she knows that. They were 'casual'. Just her and Robby. Non-commital.

"I mean big deal right? We were drunk anyways. Just felt bad not telling you. I know were not dating so it's really not your business, but don't worry about it. I mean we've fucked so often what does a kiss even mean?"

A kiss. To her it meant everything. An act of intimacy that they rarley ever shared. So innocent, so pure.

"Get out of my room Robby." Y/n mumbles, her voice above a whisper. The teen sits up from her lap and looks at her incredalously. He was only telling her to keep her in the loop. She didnt have the right to be mad. So why was she making a big deal about this?

"What?"

"You heard me. Get the fuck out of my room Keene."

He furrows his brows in a toxic coctail of anger and confusion. "Why? You can't get pissed at me for this Y/n. We aren't fucking dating. Don't get all aggro on me like you're some psycho girlfriend when you're a friend with benefits at best."

Y/n stands up and pushes the boy out of her room. "Get the fuck out of here Robby! If it didn't mean anything why don't you go fuck her then? Go whine about your mommy issues and daddy issues to her and leave me the hell alone."

"You have some nerve you know that right? Don't act all high and mighty now. You're a whore. Why the hell would I ever actually take you seriously when I can get everything I want without the label or work. You're easy, I could never do that shit with Sam."

Her breath was stuck in her throat as the boy she truly thought cared began to berate her as if she was a random person on the street. The boy she suffered for. The boy that was really never her's to keep. Y/n forces herself to wipe her anrgy tears and push Robby once again.

Y/n's hands were shaky, she desprately wanted to cry. To scream. To give in and give him the satisfaction of getting to her. "Oh so you can come over whenever you want, make me listen to your shitty life, and basically force yourself into my own life, but all that means nothing right? Well guess what Kenne. You kissed her, and she still doesn't want you!" She presses her finger into his chest while her voice level rises. "That same girl is still with Miguel. So just because you wanna jump ship and 'upgrade' doesn't mean she wants anything to do with you. Face it babe, you're just white trash."

"Shut the fuck up Y/n." Robby practically spits back.

"Oh, so you can disrespect me and belittle me in my own fucking room, but when its you its a problem? Grow up Robby. You're a man baby and a hypocrite. In what world is that fair Robby? Maybe in your little made up fantasy where Sam picks you and you leave me for dead. So go stay there. Cause you're sure as hell not welcome here."

Y/n throws everything he's given her at him. Every last peice a memory they shared together. Posters, drawings, braclets, anything that adorned her room. All of it thrown to him and crashing down like victims of a violent storm. Tears streamed down her face as he backed up to her door.

She opens the door for him and grabs his sweater and keys before shoving it in his chest. The boy watches her dumbfounded.

"Stay away from me Robby. Go back to some other slut that can put up with your baggage and shitty attitude for one night stand status. Because I'm done."

He looks at her, but there wasn't the girl he knew looking back at him. Not with how she glared, not with how she stood, and not with how she felt. Her eyes, the e/c irises reflected love, now they were dark. Harbors for her contempt. The grimace on her face was unforgettable. Especially as the last thing he seen before she slammed her door on his face.

Robby swallows the spit in his mouth, a hard lump of guilt not wanting to go down. He didn't think any of this would happen. He wanted her to care, but he didn't want to fight. His temper, his father's god forsaken temper, and his own damned ego.

He wanted what he had with her, with Sam. The girl next door with a rich family and big house. Like something out of a book. Not the girl that did whatever he said for the sake of making him happy. He really did want to just abandon her, didn't he? After everything.

Choking back his frustrations the boy marches down her stairs and lets himself out. He liked what he had with her, but he wouldn't fight for her. Guys only did that for the girl they want.

[bountydroid]

Darlin' pt 9

pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 6 / pt 7(SMUT) / pt 8 / pt 10 (SMUT)

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader

Description: Cooper gets vulnerable as they head to Moldaver.

TW: Angsty

Notes: Sorry this is a little shorter, I wanted to get something out for you guys since it has been so long. I appreciate your patience. Darlin' will end at the end of the TV series. So probably 1-3 more parts I haven't decided yet.

Sweat dripped down my face as my brows creased together. The very limited charm of the Wastelands has completely left, leaving me sweaty, angry, and very very tired. Cooper and I haven't said a word to each other since we left Sorrel behind. I know that he knows that I want answers, that I am upset, that I am scared. Instead of explaining himself, however, he stayed silent. This only increased my worries. My thoughts and fears ran rampant in my brain as I thought of every possibility. This woman, she meant something to him. I hoped that she was maybe a family member or a close friend. I knew it was likely false hope, but the thought of everything between me and Cooper was a lie? That he was leading me to a lover? I couldn't handle that thought, it was eating me alive. 

"Should be a couple o' days more walkin' darlin'. You think your little legs can handle that?" He jested, trying to improve the gloomy mood that hung over us. 

"Okay," I whispered back, I didn't know if he even heard me as I kept my eyes trained on my feet. I watched the sand move around my shoes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Anything to keep my mind off of her. I could feel his eyes on me as he looked behind him, taking in my defeated form.

"It ain't what ya think." He says as he stops walking, finally addressing the issue. "It ain't like that."

"Whatever you say," I mumbled again as I brushed past him. I could feel his hand wrap around my wrist as he tugged me backward against his chest. 

"Listen to me damn it." He said angrily as he held me tight against him. I could feel myself starting to shake. I've been fighting the tears this whole time, but his raised voice finally broke the dam causing a broken sob to leave my mouth. 

"Don't yell at me." I cried out, frustrated at his reaction. I wanted him to kiss me, to coo at me, to hold me tight, but that wasn't the kind of man he was. He was just as broken as I was, and the years of wandering the Wastelands on his own left him an angry old man. 

"There ain't nothing worth cryin' about." He said as he spun me around to face him, "So stop it. Now." 

"Oh, am I inconveniencin’ you?" Venom slipped out of my mouth as I finally met his eyes, "Better leave me here then and just go after her."

He sighed, clearly annoyed as he pinched the leathery skin between his eyes. "You can be so damn stubborn." He mumbled. After he said that I let out an annoyed huff before turning back around with every intention of storming off, but before I could, he grabbed my arm again. "Stop it."

"Who is she then? When did our little adventure go from hunting bounties to hunting her?" I rambled angrily, not being able to keep the questions in any longer. "And when were you gonna tell me you are 200 years old? When did you meet her? You've been in the ground a long time, is she 200 years old? Is she your wife-"

"She's not my wife." He interrupted as he pinched my lips together to silence me. There was a moment of silence before he let my face go. Instead of continuing to berate him, I opted to stay quiet and rub my sore lips. "I ain't used to having someone I gotta explain myself to." He continued.

"You make it sound like such a chore." I scoffed out.

"Just listen to me, damn it. She's not my wife. She's not a lover. So, settle down." He huffed angrily. 

I silently stared up at him waiting for him to continue, to explain the pieces I was missing, however as time went on it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else. My face changed from anger to disbelief as he stared down at me with his signature stony expression. I wanted to scream at him. To yell in his face. To berate him for keeping me in the dark. Instead, I just turned around quietly and started walking in the direction we were going earlier before shooting back at him with an aloof tone. “Whatever you say.”

I heard him scoff behind me, but this time he didn’t stop me from walking away. Instead, he chose to yell after me. “Does my age bother you? Me bein’ a ghoul is fine but an old ghoul? That's too gross for you?”

I stopped dead in my tracks before I whipped around to face him again. The look of disbelief still graced my face. “Of course that doesn’t bother me, Cooper. I can’t believe you would think that.” I could feel the tears returning to my eyes as we stood there staring at each other. “It’s the secrets that bother me. I told you everything about myself, but all you’ve told me is you had a wife and a daughter at some point. I’ve given you everything-“

“I know. I know darlin’.” He interrupted me as he walked up towards me. His scarred hands quickly found my cheeks as he cupped my face gently. The annoyed look he’d worn on his face this entire argument was gone, instead replaced with a look of sadness. “You deserve better than me.”

“Don’t.” I responded quickly, “Don’t do that. I am not gonna let you push me away Coop.” 

He gave me a sad smile before dropping his hands from my face, “Guess I am stuck with you then?”

I let out a surprised laugh as I grabbed ahold of his hands. “Yea. So you better start treatin’ me right.” I teased. 

His sad smile was exchanged for a happier one as he looked down at our joined hands. “How about we keep goin’ and find a place to stay for the night?”

I nodded my head quietly as I gave him a small peck on the lips before turning around, and dragging him close behind me. He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief, he had no idea what he had done to deserve love. He was a cold, hard man who thought he'd live the rest of his life alone and he had been fine with that. 

-

My mouth hung open in shock as we sat around the fire. Cooper explained everything, the vaults, the experiments, and his wife's role in everything. We took little breaks here and there, as it was clear this was hard on Coop. He hadn't told anyone about these things even before the bombs dropped. If he was a softer man, he would've cried. I sat still and listened carefully while casually rubbing his back with reassurance. I was happy that he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with me.

"And Moldaver, well she was the woman who helped me realize the truth about my wife. Now that I know she is alive, I am hopin' she knows where my daughter is." He explained quietly, a look of defeat on his face. 

"Do ya think she's still alive?" I asked tentatively. 

"If Moldaver is, I don't see why not." He responded. 

I nodded my head quietly as I tried my best to take in all of this information. This was beyond me, and we both knew it. 

"Well, I'll help you find her," I said giving him a small smile.

He scoffed as he he frowned. "You don't have to, it'll be dangerous darlin'."

"I know." I said reassuringly, "But we are a team now." I kissed him on the cheek softly, my lips lingering on his face. "You are stuck with my Cooper Howard."

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@sarahmclean15

[knavesflames]

“Promise”

Just a little thing about Clervie and Arlecchino that lowkey apart my heart thinking about it. Again, very sorry if this is not good!! Am new to writing things down other than in my notes sooo bear with me as I get better pls 😩

Contents: angst, the tiniest mention of self harm. It isn’t graphic, it is mentioned in passing only once, and very vaguely, but thought I’d put a TW anyway🥰

Word count: 2453

Writing under the cut!!:D

At age 9,

Peruere sits in the garden, holding the small box. The lid is open as she places a small lumidouce bell next to the spider. The lumidouce bell will die and wilt underground, but at least the spider won’t be lonely, she thinks.

“Peruere!”

The loud childish voices rings out in the garden once again. A sigh leaves Peruere’s lips. She isn’t in the mood to talk to the person she secretly calls sunshine. Looking down at the splayed out body of her pet spider, her lip quivers. Once, twice, before a tear falls onto the wood of the makeshift coffin. The dread rising in her as she sees her hands changing doesn’t go unnoticed, but she pushes it down. ‘What is that? Why am I changing?’

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sunshine once again, the voice now muffled with chewing.

“I brought cake. Want some?”

Peruere’s now charcoal hands take the cake, pausing as the sunshine (or Clervie, but Peruere prefers sunshine) takes it from her hands and places it on a leaf in front of the small grave.

“You must know spiders don’t eat cake.”

“Yeah, I know! They can’t eat cake here, but in spider world they can.”

Her voice is almost irritating to Peruere, who is only trying to be angsty and sad. But how can she be sad when the sunshine is right there?

“Clervie, I want to sit in silence.”

Clervie can’t help her eyebrows furrowing before she sits down with a small thud.

“I’ll sit with you, then.”

Peruere sighs as her eyes, eyes that are unlike any others in the house of the hearth, glance towards the sunshine. She doesn’t persist. Secretly, she’s glad for the company. Clervie smiles back as she plays with the small patch of lumidouce bells.

“I don’t care that you’re different. I think you’re cool.”

Her eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowing before she responds.

“Why? I’m completely different from you.”

“I like that. Even our teddies are different. I think everyone being the same is boring. They won’t be the king because they are all the same. You will be king one day, Peruere. Can I sit with you when you are?”

Peruere feels just a small amount of dread at those words. The words that remind her that one day, she indeed, will have to do what Mother says and fight to be king. Something is off about Mother, she thinks. She is too kind, too caring. She doesn’t like it. Not just because she doesn’t deserve it (that’s what she tells herself in the mirror before she sleeps), but because Clervie, the sunshine, is falling for it. In that moment, she makes a silent vow to protect the sunshine always, even if it is cloudy.

“We can be king together.”

“Do you promise? I don’t want to be left behind.”

“I promise.”

At age 11,

Peruere and Clervie, the sunshine and the moon, sit in a deserted part of the house of the hearth. Their favourite part is the room with the wide window, where they sit and stare at the sky, talking about their dreams. Or rather, Clervie talks, Peruere listens. Though this time, the roles seem to be reversed. Next to them, a tray of medical instruments. Scissors, bandages, gauze, disinfectant. Peruere sits, her blackened, gentle but clumsy hands tying a bow on one of the bandages. The look on Clervie, I mean, the sunshine’s, face was much brighter than ten minutes ago. This is the first of many times, unbeknownst to them. Peruere speaks softly.

“What happened? Your wrists looked like they got hurt.”

“Nothing, Peruere.”

Alarm bells ring in Peruere’s head. Clervie was never this closed off, not with her.

“Did you do this to yourself? Like Céline? She got upset at herself so she hurt herself. I don’t like that, tell me you didn’t do that. It’s dangerous, Clervie.”

Her eyes, shining black, filled with worry. Her hand grabs the sunshine’s, giving it a little squeeze, encouraging her to talk.

“No, that isn’t it. I argued. With Mother. I don’t want to fight everyone to be king. I want to be friends with everyone, I want to eat bulle fruit with everyone. Why do we have to fight?”

“I do not like it either. I want to run away sometimes. Do Mothers always argue with their daughters?”

“I don’t know.”

Clervie’s hands, still trembling from the adrenaline, push open the window. They stare at the stars for a while, before her voice rings out once more, soft, quiet, always optimistic.

“I heard that in Snezhnaya, coloured lights dance in the sky at night. When we grow up, shall we go see it together?”

Peruere wonders if they’ll ever go and see it, or if it’s just another empty promise. Just like how Mother promised her spider wouldn’t die, how the fish she caught wouldn’t be eaten.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

At age 13,

The sun shines. Both the actual sun, and Clervie, Peruere thinks. Her fingers are splayed out on the picnic blanket, the wet paint on her nails shining in the light when her fingers twitch. Painted black, like her skin on her arms, and red, the colour of the lipstick they stole from Mother a few weeks ago, the colour of Clervie’s hair. She makes a noise of satisfaction, secretly looking at Clervie through her fingers. It looks like she’s looking through prison bars, she thinks. But Clervie is the sun. If anyone should be in prison, it’s her, not Clervie. She doesn’t like the way she thinks about Mother, but Mother harms the sunshine. Her sunshine. Her eyes widen, just slightly as she realises that maybe feeling so warm and fuzzy inside whenever she sees Clervie isn’t exactly a usual way to think of people. She doesn’t feel that for anyone else. She stares a bit longer. How the red of Clervie’s hair reminds her of the burning sun. Of the fire in the lounge of the house of the hearth. Fire is good, she thinks. She could protect her sunshine with fire. In a split decision, she takes the red nail polish in one hand, a strand of her white hair in the other. Snow and blood. Blood on snow. Those colours seem to be awfully present in her life as of late, and her heart begins to twist as she thinks of what it means for her future. Before she can think any harder, Clervie’s giggle cuts through her thoughts.

“What are you doing, silly?”

Red paints on the snow coloured hair.

“I’m like you now. I have red hair. That way, we will stay friends forever.”

“I like you too much to leave you, silly. It looks good with your hair. The red. You should paint it every day, and that way, you can—“

Words are cut off by clumsy lips meeting clumsy lips. Only for a second, a second that feels forever. Peruere’s cheeks flush the colour of the painted strand as she mumbles apologetic words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I-“

“It’s okay. I liked it. I want to do it more. You should still keep the red strand. Promise you will?”

“Yes, I promise.”

At age 16,

Mother has been increasingly cruel, to both her and Clervie. Especially to Clervie. How could someone be so evil to someone so kind is something Peruere cannot fathom. She despises seeing Clervie cry, to hear her quiet sobs at night. Her eyes are always bright, always happy. If not for her own sake, for Peruere’s. But the sun has been hiding lately, hiding behind clouds and avoiding words. The red strand of Peruere’s hair, once painted every day with nail polish to match Clervie’s, now permanently dyed, retouched every eight weeks, hidden under most of her hair to avoid Mother’s wrath. And now? They stand in the field, Clervie, facing Peruere with resigned eyes.

“You know it’s the only way. Mother will kill us both if you are not king. Have you not noticed the children disappearing?”

“I have. It does not mean your life has to end. You cannot take your life—“

“No. That will not satisfy Mother, and you know that. You must do it.”

Hate, fear, dread and sadness twist Peruere’s gut so hard she feels as if she will throw up. She fight the urge to retch at the very suggestion that she dulls the sunshine she has grown to adore so.

“I cannot. I will not. You cannot ask me to do something like that.”

“You must.”

She hates that Clervie is right. She hates that Mother is so twisted and sick that this is the only choice. She begs anyway, something she told herself she would never do.

“Please. We were supposed to go to Snezhnaya together. To see the coloured lights in the sky. There is no ‘we’ without you.”

A chuckle is heard, the familiar chuckle that lights up Peruere’s heart, the chuckle that feels like it’ll reverse her curse entirely. She can’t deny the sadness she hears in it though, especially not when she sees a tear slip down Clervie’s face. The sight brings tears to her own eyes and she looks away, unable to stare at her any longer. The longer she stares, the harder it will be. She knows this, but her eyes move back to her anyway.

“You will look at the coloured lights, and you can trust I will be there in them.”

“No! This is not fair.”

“You know I’m right, Peruere.”

“And I hate that you are. You’re always damn right. Stop that.”

Another chuckle is heard behind tears.

“I plan to.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you have to do this.”

Peruere feels like her breath is being sucked out of her, like she can’t inhale enough and yet, exhaling is impossible. Her brain is telling her she has to. She has to give the sunshine a merciful end, lest Mother give her a far worse fate. But her heart is screaming. Tears drip down her face, her body wracked with silent cries. Her hand goes to the hilt of the dagger she always carries.

“But I love you. You are my sunshine.”

“I love you, too. And so I will always be here when the sun is shining. I am not afraid.”

“I am.”

Peruere is not one to be scared. She never has. But now, her hands are clammy, she feels a sweat gathering. She feels her heart thumping in a completely different way than when they share small kisses and giggles. She feels like she’s killing herself instead of her love. The dagger is unsheathed now, the blade glinting with every tremble of her hand. Oh, God, there it is again. That smile, the one that melts Peruere every time. Images flash in her mind of every time she bandages Clervie after an argument with Mother. Images of what could happen should Mother take Clervie’s life into her own hands, and before she can think twice, the dagger has pierced her skin. Clervie’s clothes are staining with blood as red as her hair.

“No. No, no— please. Clervie, you can’t. Why did you tell me to do this?”

Red ‘X’ irises stare into blue ones. A beautiful bluey green, one that Peruere has always admired. Has always adored looking into. Not now. Not while she watches the life drain from her eyes. Watching the sun burn.

“You will make a great king.”

“Stop that.”

Anger boils inside Peruere, anger like she has never felt before. She swears she will kill anyone who threatens to hurt the ones she cares about. She won’t let this happen again.

“I’m sorry. Thank you.”

Clervie’s soft words fill her ears for the final time before her body drops to the floor with a thunk. Peruere stares down at her, anger filling her so greatly, she becomes blank. She decides she will never feel again. She will never love again. The sun was a star, but the sun has burned and died.

“Do you promise you will be with me in Snezhnaya? Promise?”

“..Clervie?”

She is met with only silence, and the sound of the lumidouce bells waving in the wind.

At age 28,

Arlecchino walks through the halls of the House of the Hearth, watching stoically as the children play, as they watch the two children perform their magic show. She calls out, her voice strict, unfeeling.

“Meet in the dining hall when you are finished. Dinner is served shortly.”

Met with a chorus of “Yes Father”, she nods, satisfied, before turning away. Her heels click against the tiled floor as she walks through the halls, her hair flowing in her ponytail behind her. She takes the long route, avoiding the west wing of bedrooms, something she has avoided for many years. Her footfalls come to a stop as the sun hits her as it shines through the window. She feels a tug at her heart, and she clenches her fists tightly before sighing, turning quickly on her heel. She walks with purpose, walking past the many bedrooms until she slows, coming to a stop in front of the bedroom door she has kept locked. The ring of keys in her pocket makes a sound as she pulls them out, and she listens to the way they jingle as she unlocks the door and slips inside. She blinks back heartache as she stares around at the room. It has been well preserved, it looks like it’s still very much lived in by a sixteen year old girl. She goes about, dusting the surfaces in silence, cleaning up any signs that it hasn’t been touched in such a long time. She opens the window, watering the lumidouce bells that sit on the windowsill outside. She stops by the bed, where two teddies sit— one pink with a white ribbon, one black and white with red ‘X’s for eyes. Her hand, now black with darker patterns all over from how far the curse has advanced, softly pets the pink one, swallowing down a shaky breath. Her nails, painted red and black, like they always have been, gives a gentle scratch under the chin.

“Good morning, Clervie. The children are doing well today.”

Her hand slides into her pocket, pulling out a small, gift wrapped box, placing it by the teddy.

“Happy birthday. I told you I would not forget. The sun is shining brightly, and the colours in the sky at night have been vivid lately. You would have found them beautiful, I am sure. I would have loved to look at you as you stared at them in wonder.”

The birthday gift joins another 11 on the bed, each one in different phases of aging. She stands again, smoothing down the bedsheets before placing a small kiss on the pink teddy.

“See you next year, Clervie. I promise.”

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - August

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.08.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are currently closed🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in August with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 4 Minutes 🇹🇭 (4/8)

Okay. I catched up. I wasn't in the mood for this series, but now I am a little bit hooked. We have a really cute couple here with a really nice love-making-scene. We have a totally messed up relationship of three people, two love each other, two hurt the other one and two are horny for one with very graphic scenes. And yes, I saw it too. Oh, the story itself? Confusing, yet interesting.

2. Cityboy_Log 4.2 🇰🇷 (17/23)

This week was... okayish. They were mostly bonding at a group and doing stuff together. Nothing really happend. They played games, the trouple was cute and JJ tried to act, but really, those moments were more cringe than anything else...

3. First Note of Love 🇹🇼 (4/12)

The looks they gave each other! The constant bickering! The compliments! The necklace as a gift! I see you! I like them. They get more comfortable together and are now forming a band. Hopefully Sea can help Neil getting back on stage without fainting or having a panic attack. I am curious how this whole series will move on, but I am intrigued. But what is that age gap?

4. Hidamari ga Kikoeru 🇯🇵 (10/12)

🥲 I'm fine... the only thing that helped me in the end was the preview for next week. How could he listen to Maya? How? I know why, but still... why? And now Taichi thinks he was just a replacable someone who doesn't mean anything to Kohei 😭 I really don't like it here! And I hope Maya chokes on her words! I don't care that she's going to cry next episode. Right now I still don't like her. Boys! Get your shit together and talk to each other! Please!

5. I Saw You In My Dream 🇹🇭 (7/12)

THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!! I like them! And Yu finally collecting his courage to tell Ai, he likes him. I need Ai to tell him he likes him too! But the preview for next week! I can't wait! The best start in my vacation! Do I feel bad for Wann? No, not really. He saw the signs, he got the vibe between Yu and Ai, but he still tried. I guess he is a good guy, but he is not Yu.

6. Seoul Blues 🇰🇷 (3/8)

Well... Our bad boy got together with their mutual friend. Little Mr. Angsty likes our bad boy, but is to afraid what might change, so he didn't take his change when bad boy confessed to him. And of course he now is unsure about bad boy's feelings. And our lady in denial knows that her bad boy doesn't like he like that and I guess she can feel those two are very much into each other, but she still wanna try it and give it a shot. Well... good luck. And while she is thinking about her bad boy thinking about someone else while kissing her, her bad boy is now kissing little Mr. Angsty. I don't know how this friendship can be fixed. There is so much wrong with their entire realtion-/friendship... and I love it!

7. Takara no Vidro 🇯🇵 (9/11)

I started with mixed feelings about this series and I ended up totally loving it! I enjoy this series very much! They talk with each other and they understand each other. They have such a good relationship at this point and I love how Takara is opening up and questioning his plans for the future. Life is unpredictable, love is unpredictable and there can be people who change your plans for the better or worst, but that is something for other shows.

8. The On1y One 🇹🇼 (4/12)

Best chemistry! I love them! I love pounting Wang and this absolutely smitten boy Tian so much! Tian was everything this episode. He couldn't stop looking at Wang and couldn't stop smiling. He is already in love. And Wang uses Tian for learning, but he is slowly falling. And I hope it will be this: he fell first, but he fell harder! Good series!

9. The Trainee 🇹🇭 (8/12)

This was one of the cutest episodes ever and at the same time one of the saddest with the most wholesome break-up ever. Ba-Mhee did something wrong, she apologised and Tae realised that he is part of the problem. I am cusious how they work around this whole story. But Jane and Ryan. Oh the cuteness! I loved every scene with them. And I loved that Jane was jealous and Ryan reassured him. I am a little bit anxious about next week. Guess this was my favorite episode so far!

10. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu. I haven't felt like watching this lately. I wasn't in the right mood.

Finished in August

Series

His Man Season 3 🇰🇷

What was that? I enjoyed the first two seasons so much! And this one felt very manipulated by the production. The secret missions were just there to cause drama and misunderstandings. And othe rparts really felt just boring. I was not really invested in the couples this time. I wish we would have seen more of their friendships. Perhaps that was because the fight between JY and MK was so centred. In the end I am happy MS and MK made it and became a couple. And it is nice that SM and JS got together too. But who thought it was a good idea to keep that "break-up" between YJ and HM in the show? That was just awful to watch! I never saw them vibing together, but a short notice that they decided to stay friends would have been enough. I don't have to see that Hanmin gave the ring back, they made together. I get where he is coming from, but I wish they could have talked about this in private! There were some bad coices of the production which was not favourable for the show! If there is a season 4 I hope it stays away from artificial drama! Just a 7 out of 10 for me.

Century of Love 🇹🇭

We got a happy ending. Hm. Great. I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have mind if San had died. It was a little bit too constructed with the little piece of that stone in the end and the change of heart from the fake Vad... So I am a little bit dissappointed with the ending. Yes, I cried, because I have feelings, but at some points I had to skip parts because there were just too many emotions that clashed in my face. But I am happy for San and Vee. Overall a good 8 out of 10.

Bad Guy 🇰🇷

Honestly? I like cheating stories when my couple wins. In conclusion, I liked this short series. I am curious if we get a second part like with Blue Boys. I would be happy if we could just end it here. The two sad boys finally got their happy ending and can now be enough for each other. I like that. Wish we could see a little bit of their everyday life or how this decision impacts their lifes. I liked it. I give it a 8 out of 10.

Cosmic Playlover 🇯🇵

I enjoyed the show. It felt a little bit rushed, but over all, I enjoyed the plot and the love story. Two men working in the beauty industry and both go their own way and just loving what they do. That was also really good to see! I especially enjoyed the dynamic between these two. And they talked! Sure there was drama, but in the end they talkes to each other and listened to each other and could solve their problems. Such a nice little show. I give it good 8,5 out of 10.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in August

My Love Mix-Up! 🇹🇭

I guess I've dropped this one. I don't know why exactly. I think it was a cute story and I liked watching it, but right now I don't have the energy to keep going. I will come back to this one when it is finished and when I am in the mood for some fluff.

Looking forward to in August

The Last Time - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Loyal Pin - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Sugar Dog Life - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Summer Night - Trailer (Aug 5th)

Cosmetic Playlover (Aug 6th)

Monster Next Door - Trailer (Aug 8th)

First Note Of Love - Trailer (Aug 12th)

Addicted Heroin - Trailer (Aug 13th)

Love Beneathe The Stars - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Paradise Of Thornes - Trailer (Aug 22nd - Thai Cinemas)

The On1y One (Aug 22nd)

Affair - Trailer (Aug 30th)

[vanilleandclove]

the meadow in which you lay | 6

ser erryk cargyll x arryn!reader | chapter six: a raven disguised as a crow

Upon reaching Dragonstone, the ideals of allowing your love to pursue his oath unabashedly and correctly ring through your head, only problem is, he is unabashedly and correctly understanding the means of loving you whilst being sworn into an oath.

word count: 1.5k | warnings: me when the reader is avoidantly attached like every man i have once encountered, LUCERYS, tooth-rotting love confessions. | a/n: currently listening to thoroughfare by ethel cain, this part is going to be angsty i fear.

previous - next

taglist: @wolvestitches @holb32 @callsignwidow @fwaeriys @hummusxx @erysione @snixx2088 @opheliax98

Erryk and yourself had reached Dragonstone come the set of the next sun, seeing flames in the distant, you felt a lump in your throat as you both approached the scene. As three, now Queensguard, drew their swords at the sight of Ser Erryk as another announced your name and title. You found yourself holding Erryk, lacing your arm within his.

"I mean no harm brothers" Erryk told the guards, Daemon signaling them to rest their position as Erryk took the Crown of Jaehaerys I and Viserys I. Erryk kneeled, swearing fealty and his life to your dear cousin, her eyes filled with shock before they caught yours, the look of love it was.

"I swear to ward the Queen with all my strength and give my blood for hers. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall guard her secrets, obey her commands, ride at her side, and defend her name and honor" Erryk swore as Daemon took the crown from his hands, crowning your cousin before kneeling. Soon after, you all kneeled, besides Rhaenys who just gave your cousin a nod of both pride and honor.

After which, Erryk found himself walking to you, resting his forehead on yours "I am sworn to a Queen now" he whispered, you nodded as there were no words to say, his hand found itself on your waist. You bit your lip lightly, forbidding yourself from letting your emotions be on display.

"You- We must go" you whispered back, choosing to bite your tongue rather than tell him how much you love him, you too, would give your blood for his. You removed yourself from the hold of his, finding your now Queen of a cousin to hug her, she had a stillbirth and was crowned within the next turn of the night.

"Any secret would you like to share?" Rhaenyra joked to ease the mood, you looked at her somberly, "There are men in the Kingsguard whom are oathbreakers and heathens. He is not one of them, no matter the vow of chastity".

"There is a war to be fought over the succession, I fear his blood being in me more than it is defending you may cause some feats we can prevent" you told your cousin before giving her a warm hug.

Towards the end of the sunset, you had not spoken a word to Erryk, simply walking side to side with your cousin, even in the war room. You chose to remain distant, it was the easiest way for you, but you knew it was cruel to Erryk. Near the end of planning and Daemon's outburst, your cousin dismissed all of you. You quickly made your way to your set chambers in Dragonstone.

Your peace interrupted by a knock on your door, opening the door to be met with Erryk, hair completely down and armor retired into sleeping attire. You opened the door wider to invite him in, not speaking a singular word.

"I was raised in the Crownlands" Erryk started, fidgeting with his fingers lightly, "I was knighted into the Kingsguard alongside my brother when we were just eight and ten. By then, I was privileged to be infatuated with this Lady of the Vale. At times, I regretted the decision of my oath seeing that I would potentially have to see her marry a higher lord, siring his children, and live a life that I was not in. Extremely selfish, I loved this Lady to the extremes that it did not matter what oaths I took or swore" Erryk confessed, your lips parted from the confession. "Tell me you do not love me and I will forget everything we shar-".

"I love you Erryk" you shook your head, "You are the only man I have ever loved and found myself waiting for; I cannot let you go, ever". You walked away from the knight, going to your vanity, "There is a war to be fought, blood to be spilled, I cannot fully love you the way I am able to under these conditions".

"Come the end of the war then," Erryk told you optimistically, "I will marry you". You smiled at the promise of certainty, you looked into the knight's eyes once more, eyes reminiscent of the ocean. "I should go to my quarters; we both have long duties to be served".

You nodded in agreement before Erryk left your quarters. There was an exaggerated feeling of anxiety in the air, the unsettling pit in your stomach led that feeling to increase by tenfold. Taking a breather to look outside your chamber's windows, wondering if there was a reason. You seemingly shut out all the worries that clouded your mind in order get rest, must the gods punish you like this? Without reason?

Come morning, the anxiety diminished, as you entered the war room, you took place next to Erryk. His hand found a place on the small of your back before his fingers brushed through your hair, he admired the color and how it flowed, he loved the feeling, even with his gloved hand.

"Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, first of her name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm" Erryk shouted as your cousin made her way into her war room before her people.

As the lords planned out the war, spitting out ideas that quickly faltered, your cousin being the only one whom held restraint, Daemon's temper led him to be excused on his own terms. You positioned yourself opposite of Erryk, next to your nephews.

"The Lord of the Tides! Lord Corlys Velaryon and his wife the Princess Rhaenys Targaryen" Erryk announced out of nowhere as the lords ceased their dispute. Your back straightened from the announcement, fearing the words that were yet to be declared by Corlys, your hand found itself resting on your blade.

Though you did not have to worry as much, as Corlys swore anew his oath to your cousin, giving his land for her cause. One of the happiest of memories it was in the war room. As Jacaerys advocated for his mother's cause simply putting that he and his brother should be the ones delivering the messages to Baratheon, Arryn, and Stark. Though you swore allegiance to your cousin, it was Jeyne who had a say on whether House Arryn would ride for your cousin's cause and claim, you trusted Jace in the care of your Jeyne, though she was kind, she always had been fierce for the sake of your house.

It took upon hours, the sun had since set, yet you and the lords strategized the war, surprised the lords took your words into consideration despite the sexism you faced to that of the Lannisters and Hightowers. The Lady Arryn must close her mouth as well as her legs, Alicent once teased as she figured out your affections were set to Erryk, you were near ladies of nine and ten, as she married Viserys and sired him children- boys to be exact including sweet Haelena, Rhaenyra married Laenor, you remained unmarried.

It was only until Daemon came back into the war room, that feeling of anxiety came back once again, your back straightened, only Erryk took notice as his hand reached for the small of your back. You shrugged him off, giving him a look of worry, as the room went silent, you reached for the raven's words that nearly left your cousin's hands in defeat.

Your heart dropping, a gasp leaving your mouth that quickly turned to sobs, the raven delivering the message of crows.

Prince Lucerys Velaryon, heir to Driftmark, has been slain in a harmless dispute with Prince Aemond Targaryen.

Harmless? Harmless be the murderous instinct both Aemond and his older, drunken, usurper brother, Aegon exhibited when your nephews were their kin and significantly younger than them yet constantly berated. Your blood ran hot, boiling even, your ears rang to the point where you could not hear the words that came from Erryk's mouth.

[imnotjaesblog]

Part Four: The Gryffindor

Mood: "I miss your presence in my life. I miss you talking with you. Laughing with you. Crying with you. I miss my best friend,"

Starring: Lee Jeno

Warnings: None. This part is just angsty

Words: 9k

Enjoy ;)

"There is nothing to talk about," you told Jeno trying to move your way past him. He blocked your path. You huffed shutting your eyes for a moment in annoyance. The night was going so well. Why did Jeno have to come and ruin your mood?

"Jeno move I have nothing to say to you," you spoke sternly.

He placed his hands on your shoulders. You eyed him. He let his hands fall from your frame. He kept the same desperate stare in his eyes. "I just want you to listen," he said pleadingly looking into your eyes. "If you don't like what I have to say you can walk away and I'll leave you alone, forever," he babbled but kept a sincere tone. You sighed looking around the room.

"Fine. But I better not regret it," you warned. You walked over to the dark brown couch placed in front of the fireplace. Jeno followed sitting beside you. You both turned your bodies to each other. You both sat there awkwardly staring at the other.

"Well," you motioned to the silence that surrounded you.

"I apologize. I didn't think you'd agree," he spoke quietly. He adjusted himself clearing his throat. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his sweatpants. You sighed again hand meeting your forehead. He licked his lips.

"I do not know where to begin," he spoke unsurely.

"How about at the beginning," you sarcastically suggested.

"I didn't mean to kiss her," he stated. Your eyes roll and your head falls back. You were in no headspace to hear any of this nonsense. You shook your head and Jeno continued his rambling. "It just happened," he trailed seeing the sudden change in your face. A moment ago you were calm and now you were angry at him. It confused him.

You stood up from the couch. Jeno turned his body in your direction standing up to follow you. "It does not matter to me who you kiss Jeno," you stressed. He was not convinced. You had completely cut him off after the kiss he shared with Samantha. He understood how it could hurt your feelings, and even make you jealous.

"Is it not the reason you do not speak to me?" he asked. You stopped walking letting out a huff nostrils flaring. You could feel the heat rise from the pit of your stomach to the back of your neck. You turned to him hands balled in a fist.

"The reason I do not speak to you is not because of some kiss," you argued back. His face flushed and frame open to you. "So what is it then? Are you jealous of her?" he spoke quickly the questions desperately trying to escape his lips. His eyes bore into yours begging for a response. It did not matter if it was what he wanted to hear. He wanted to see you sad, angry, even mad. He wanted you to feel something towards him and then continue to treat him like a ghost in the hallway.

"I am not jealous!" you said shouting a bit. He was frustrating you. The more he spoke it ignited your body in flames. Your jaw clenched as you stared into his eyes. You felt your body shake. "I am not jealous of her. I never have been. But I will not sit here and listen to you try and make it seem like you have done nothing wrong. You were my best friend Jeno. You kissed me and then let me go like it was so easy for you. And until I've heard you admit to your wrongs there is nothing for you to say," you let the words sadly fall from your lips.

He went to speak but you stopped him with your hand. You shook your head. "I do not wish to hear your voice again tonight. Or ever until you've owned up to your wrongs. I do not wish to hear you explain yourself any longer," you said grabbing your belongings. Jeno did not follow you as you walked away. Instead, he watching feeling his heart get crushed by you, again.

The overwhelming feeling inside you rises higher than any flame. Between Renjun's growing stares of confusion about the relationship between the two of you and Jaemin's change of behavior with you started to become too much.

You sat at your desk in your Potions class. Letting out a soft sigh preparing yourself for the project you be presenting alongside Jaemin. Your professor welcomed the rest of your classmates. You turned and saw Renjun on his sitting at a few desks in front of you. You looked away feeling someone sit beside you. Thankfully Yeji had taken the stool next to you.

"I hope everyone is ready to present their Amortentia," he said with a smile. Most students still wore the early morning on their faces. The professor huffed defeated by the low sounds of enthusiasm. "Okay. Let us begin with the first pairing," he spoke pulling out his list of names.

"Ah! Nathaniel and Elenia. You two are first," he spoke smiling in his eyes. The two stood up hand and hand walking to the black cauldron. The two successfully performed, receiving a few claps from the students. "Well done!" he cheered the pair. "Now what do you smell?" he asked them.

Their presentation felt distant to you. You played with the end of your textbook peeling the fabric of the stitches on the old cover. Your head in your chin lips pouting. "Y/n," Yeri called just above a whisper. You hummed at her. "Jaemin is here," she said. You shrugged, "He's late," you responded. Yeri paused for a moment. "I thought you two were together?" she asked. You shook your head. "We're not. I'm not sure what we are," you said back glancing at Jaemin before looking away.

Yeri couldn't deny how she felt about Jaemin. She disliked him just as much as you did. It didn't matter that the two were cousins. Once he got here he had changed completely. Acting as if he didn't even know her. At some point she found you, seeing you had gone through something similar with Jeno.

"Jeno and Samantha," your professor called. You and Yeri both looked up at Samantha walking just a bit ahead of Jeno. A wide smile on her face. Yeri sneered at Samantha who was a few more happy steps from skipping to the table. Jeno walked behind her looking the exact opposite. Unable to match Samantha's excitement and instead miserably walked his way to the table.

They performed the spell. Samantha stepped to smell the Amortentia. She pushed her hair back. Closing her eyes and leaning forward the green aroma passed her cheeks. She inhaled a hum leaving her lips. A smile crept on her lips.

"What do you smell?" the professor asked her softly. She took a moment smelling the caldron again.

"I smell fresh grass, sweat, and wooden chips like one off a broom," she spoke dreamly. It had caught the attention of a few who recognized the last description of the scent she smelled. Even catching Jeno's. Yeri placed a hand on your shoulder seeing the widened eyes on your face. You looked over at her who remained frowning at the sight.

Samantha reopened her eyes and the professor smiled. "Well done. Now you Jeno," he ushered. Jeno snapped out of his thoughts. He walked over to the table, and Samantha stepped aside. He leaned close to the cauldron-like he knew what he'd smell.

"What do you smell?" he asked. Jeno sighed debating whether or not to share. He looked over at you. Seeing you sitting there watching like everyone else. He chewed his lip nervously.

He sighed "I smell," he began. This would be the perfect time to tell you everything. Everything he wanted to say last night. Everything he had been waiting to say to you. This would be his chance to get you back. He could feel the hope that slowly filled in his chest mask the nerves. Until he turned around to see Jaemin staring in your direction. The sight made his nails flick against his other fingers.

He huffed. "I smell," he began. "I smell sweet Jasmine shampoo," he said quickly. Samthna almost fell to the ground from happiness. That was her exact shampoo scent. He stepped away from the table glaring at Jaemin who remained just as confused as you. Yeji also looked confused. Then when she looked over at Samantha who had to fan herself back to Earth it clicked in your and her brain that Jeno had just confessed his love to Samantha.

Yeri turned to glare at Jeno but was met with Jeno staring hard at you. You kept your back turned, not sparing him a glance. Yeri turned away looking over at you. The professor hadn't noticed the tension rising between Jeno and You. Yeji and Jaemin could feel the tense energy that rose.

Once class ended you rushed out of the classroom and Renjun who watched from the back saw this as his chance to stand. He found you outside in the courtyard alone by a tree. You sat there attempting to read a book.

Renjun made his way to you placing his bag on the trunk of the tree. You barely looked at him. Renjun sat beside you on the grass. His eyes squinted from the afternoon sun. Gentle breeze brushing some of his hair back. He fixed his glasses as he looked down at your book. He smiled softly.

"What are you reading?" he asked. You folded the corner page. "I'm trying to read Emma. It was one of my favorite books and now I can barely focus on the first few chapters," you said closing the book. You let out a breath trying to calm your rising emotions. The scene of him confessing replays in your head like a broken record. You tried to escape in your story to distract yourself from the fresh memory but found the Amortentia spell the most distracting.

"Renjun why did he lie?" you asked. You had never talked to Renjun before about your love life. No one ever had. He felt a bit caught off guard. Normally any other man who would hear the women he slept with asking about another man would surely weird them out. But Renjun had realized he was beginning to adore you as his friend. He didn't wish to ruin such a beautiful relationship. And since you needed your friend that was exactly what he'd be.

"How do you know he lied?" he asked. Making sure you weren't just coming to such conclusions because you were upset. He didn't want to mention it but this was the same man who stood you up at the Yule ball. You shook your head. The thought of Jeno lying made the anger and frustration in you continue to foam together. After all this time he still couldn't be honest.

"I know him very well. Something pissed him off," you said proving how much you understood Jeno. Renjun sighed shifting the leg that he sat on to the other. "Maybe he is shy," he suggested. But you shook your head your book falling onto the grass. "Jeno is not shy. He is many things but shy is not one of them. Normally he is very bold," you said confidently.

"Then I assume he is just scared," Renjun attempted at another conclusion. One that made sense to you. You nodded, "I assumed the same thing. I just don't know what he could be scared of," you said. Renjun raised a brow.

He chuckled. "Forgive me Y/n but you had not been very approachable," he said. You frowned, "How am I not approachable?" you asked biting back a smile. Renjun looked at you up and down with a scoff. "Maybe to the other students here, yes you are approachable, but picture Jeno right now. Every time he has made some sort of effort to talk to you. You shot him down. If you want an answer to your question you have to talk to him," He said.

You sneered at his truths. "I hate that you are right," You said picking up your book. You stood up from the grass Renjun following. He dusted himself off watching as you placed your book away. "I am always right," he said with a smirk.

"Tell me again why am I your friend?" you joked. Renjun just chuckled as the two of you walked off to meet Yeji for the Quidditch match.

“This is gonna be a fair game. I don’t want to see any foul moves,” the referee spoke eyeing Jaemin. Jaemin held his hands up in defense. “It’s not my fault I get bored,” he retort. The referee rolled her eyes looking away from the boy.

Jeno gripped tightly onto his brown stick glaring at Jaemin. Jaemin hadn’t even noticed Jeno until he happened to be in his line of sight. When the two made eye contact Jeno clenched his jaw.

Jaemin smirked at him flying his way. He raised a brow. “Jeno I know I am handsome but must you stare at me all day? First Potions and now during a Quidditch match?” He chuckled head falling back in that annoying asshole way. The two Slytherin boys next to him laughed.

Jeno huffed angrily. If there weren’t an arena of people watching he’d punch Jaemin so hard off his brown he’d hit straight to the ground. “Am I distracting you?” Jaemin asked dark gleam in his eyes.

“Nothing that you do matters to me Jaemin. You’re just an obstacle in my way. Once someone knocks you off your high horse you will soon realize that no one cares what you do,” Jeno mocked. Jaemin chuckled sneering at the captain. Jeno felt proud for a moment. But Jaemin never being able to keep shut had to get the last laugh.

“Nothing I do may matter,” he tilted his head a bit motioning to the side. Unbothered by Jeno’s insults.

“But maybe what she does well,” he taunted. Jeno turned following the line Jaemin formed with his eyes that pointed straight to you. There you were sitting between Renjun and Yeji. Chatting with them and every so often glancing over sending heart eyes to Jaemin. It made his stomach turn seeing that out of all the male students at this school you chose Jaemin.

“You see,” he began. Jeno turned his head back to him. “She’s here because I invited her. She told me about the chat you two shared last night. You do have a way with words,” he spoke softly to Jeno. It made his inside rise in flames. He gritted his teeth as he spoke. Jaemin who remained calm was secretly enjoying every minute of this interaction. Seeing Jeno’s eyebrows twist and lip snarl at him like an angry dog made today’s match so much more worth showing up.

“Let’s see how well you play today,” he derisive. He flew back to his side along with his friends to begin the game. Jeno tried his best to not let Jaemin get to him. But the truth couldn’t leave his mind. You were here for Jaemin not for him. You were supporting him. You were spending time with him.

Jeno decided he wouldn’t let Jaemin off that easily. He knew beating him in a Quidditch match would mean absolutely nothing to Jaemin. Jaemin was only on the team because his father forced him to. Jaemin couldn’t care less if he won or lost.

He needed to get you back. He just didn’t know how.

To no one’s surprise, the Gryffindor team had won. All the Gryffindor students cheered celebrating another victory. Jeno and his team walk through the crowd collecting high-fives and congratulations. He smiled brightly as he made his way through the crowd. The winning glow was evident on his face.

Once he finally exited he walked into his tent to change. He was halfway changing when he heard someone call for him outside. He could see the shadow of a girl. Probably Samantha he thought with a small frown. He walked over opening the tent only to be met with you.

Stunned would be a lazy way to describe the look on his face to see you standing there. While he remained holding the tent opening back standing in nothing but slacks and a pair of sneakers. His torso is exposed to you and glistening in the sunlight. Water droplets from his hair hit the grass. A few droplets even glided down his chest. Sliding straight down his abs. Few even resting in the waistline of his slacks. You almost covered your eyes but your hands didn’t let you.

The words “I’m sorry” barely fell from your lips as you stole another peak from his chiseled frame. You cursed at yourself. Jeno feeling a little shy scratched the back of his head hair slightly bouncing. You cleared your throat trying to keep your cool. The two years apart treated him well you thought.

“Y/n,” he began. “I didn’t know you’d stop by,” he spoke keeping his eyes on you. You were making every attempt to avert from his gaze and nodded. “I didn’t either. I was looking for,”

“Jaemin?” He questioned. You nodded slowly eyes hesitantly scanning down for a moment before quickly looking away. For some reason, you felt nervous around Jeno. The sound of students running past distracted you for a brief second before Jeno spoke. “Would you like to come in?” He asked. You felt the dryness in your throat. The best you could answer him back with was with a nod.

He moved to the side allowing you to step in. You looked around the tent. You had always seen it but had never been inside of it before. You looked around the large tent which from the outside was deceivingly small. While you looked around Jeno pulled a shirt over his frame. A few strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

You turned to Jeno. “This is very large compared to the outside,” you observed. He nodded hands in his pockets. “It is a simple spell. Taught by someone I know well,” he spoke small smile on his lips. You knew he was talking about you. You hid your smile turning to look around at the stuff he had. A few broomsticks and medals from past sports he played.

You walked over to a small table in the middle of the tent. On it were a few books and crumbled papers. But something was peaking underneath a Spells textbook. You picked it up. Lifting it to get the picture underneath. It was a photo of both you and Jeno. From your first year here when he tried out for the Quidditch team. You smiled fond of the memory. Jeno was so nervous. You had to talk him out of the bathroom stall, for him to almost miss tryouts.

Jeno leaned over your shoulder looking down at the photo too. “I remember that day,” he spoke fondly of the memory. “I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up,” he remembered laughing a bit. You motioned him watching the way his eyes formed crescents. Your chuckles died down. It was a beautiful time but that was the past. Your smile fell and you placed the photo back down.

“I should,” you cleared your throat. “I should probably get going,” you said moving past him. He looked away from the photo and at you concerned for the next time he’d see you. He followed you to the opening of the tent. “Must you leave so soon?” He asked. You sighed wishing he’d let you go. “Yes,” you said trying to leave but Jeno didn’t let you. It would be better for you if you left.

“Why?” He asked. “I thought we were sharing a moment,” he hinted at a small smile on his lips. You shook your head letting out a huff. “I’m sorry if I give you the wrong impression Jeno. I didn’t mean to come in and touch your things. I am sorry for that,” you apologized. You sounded completely robotic. The tone and words coming from your lips are so foreign.

Everything in the room was yours so long as it was his. The tent was yours, the photo, the book, and even himself. He let out a defeated sigh. There was nothing left for him to say or do. So instead he let his frustration show.

“I do not know how else to please you,” he spoke making you pause. “Please me?” You questioned. His hands rose frantically as he walked away from you too upset to even bother to ask you to stay. You wanted to follow by you stood at the opening. That was what was best for you, you thought.

He nodded holding the photo of the two of you in his hands. He stared longly at the picture. "Why did you come in here?" he asked. Taken back by his question you swallowed thickly. "Because you invited me in"

He shook his head. His sudden change of tone made you feel small. His back tenses underneath his shirt. He turned to you confusion in his eyes. "That is not why and you know it," he stated. Your eyes were wide. Similar look to a child who had gotten caught stealing candy.

"I don't know," you responded. "I guess I just wanted to," you said quietly.

"But why?" he asked. You huffed hand falling in frustration. "Y/n," Jeno called to you as you walked towards the tent opening. Your hand swung to open the tent. Only to be confronted by Samnatha. She was just about to walk inside. The wide smile on her lips until she saw you. Stunned her smile fell. She cleared her throat lips pursing. Her head fell a bit.

You turned to him ushering to Samantha. "This is why," you said a shudder leaving your lips as you walked away. Leaving Jeno standing there alone just as confused as he was last night.

You marched down the grass quickly searching for a way out of this field. You had thankfully found Yeri talking with Renjun by the exit back into the school. You walked over to the two of them greeting them with smiles.

"Y/n are you alright?" Yeri asked. You nodded gently touching your face. It was warm, and a bit sweaty. "I'm fine," you hushed. Yeri not convinced but not wanting to push you just nodded a small frown on her lips. Renjun sent a concerned glance to Yeri who shrugged. Renjun assumed it had something to do with Jaemin.

Days had passed since you last spoke with Jeno. It seemed Jeno tried his best to avoid you at all costs. At first, it confused you. He had tried so hard to get your attention. Now the same boy was leaving rooms when you entered, or turning his back to look away from you.

Yeri had noticed the energy shift the same way you had felt it. You decided to not put your mind to it. But it was hard. If Jeno wanted to fix things between the two of you then why did he lie? Why was he avoiding you? It hurt to know that the same boy you once called your best friend. The boy whose shoulder you cried on when Jaehyun left. The boy who fought Jaemin more times than you can count because he teased you. Was treating you as if he didn't even know you.

It made you feel like shit.

You wanted to ignore it. It was easy to ignore him. It was hard to ignore your feelings. Which made it difficult to hide the emotions on your face in the rare moments he did look your way. But the much-needed Holiday vacation would be the best distraction from Jeno. You had said goodbye to Yeri and Renjun when you reached the station. Watching as Yeri ran to her mother. Seeing, who you could only assume was Jaemin's mother, standing next to her.

Yeri came to your side. She wrapped her arm around yours. "I want you to meet my mom," she smiled. She walked you over and introduced you. Jaemin came to your side introducing you to his mother as well. You were very surprised to see such a difference between him and his mother. She was so kind. And Jaemin was Jaemin.

You made your way to your parents after wishing the pair a Happy Holidays. Your parents both waiting for you with open arms.

"I want to know everything," your mother said flopping onto your bed. You rolled your ears playing with the ears of your old stuffed bunny. She chuckled waiting for you to tell her all about your time spent away. Your head fell back shutting your eyes for a moment. You whined, "Do I have to tell you everything?" you asked. She nodded, "Yes. Unless it's something I don't want to know," she joked.

You opened your eyes and saw she was still staring at you. Waiting for you to talk. You huffed, "Fine," you said letting out a sigh.

You told your mom about your studies. Time spent with Yeri. You told her you and Renjun worked out your differences. You told her Jaemin wasn't bothering you much anymore. Leaving out the parts where you hooked up with them.

Your mother noticed quickly when your energy shifted. The smile on your lips fading. There was something you weren't telling her. She decided to ask to see if her theories were true.

"And Jeno? This is a big year for you guys. Are you still not friends with one another?" she asked. You sighed placing the bunny to the side. You shrugged pulling at the loose stitches on your bed sheet.

"No," you responded. Your mother kept her bottom lip between her teeth listening to you closely. "He doesn't talk to me anymore after he confessed his love to Samantha in front of the whole class," your words dying down quietly. She widened her eyes confused. She shook her head. "Wait. I thought he liked you," she said in the form of a question.

You sighed, "I thought so too," you responded. Your mom paused watching you.

"Do you like him Y/n?" she asked. You shrugged. "I'm not sure," you said back. "Then why does it bother you so much? This Samantha girl," she asked. "Because I thought I liked him. Last year I did. But," your words faded.

"But?" she asked.

You let out a breath wishing you could avoid this question. Your mom waiting for you to finish. "I got close with Renjun," you confessed. She sat back a bit. "But didn't you two no get along? I mean I know you fixed it but already?" she asked. You shook your head. Trying to figure out where everything changed. You were just as confused as her. "We're friends. He's a nice guy," you said. She nodded, "Okay," she responded.

You bit your lip. Your mom watched you. "Y/n?" she questioned a nervous look in your eyes. "Is there something else?" she asked. You nodded.

"What?" she asked. "I like Jaemin too," you confessed. Her jaw dropped. She sat back surprised. "Jaemin? I can understand Renjun. But Jaemin? Doesn't Jeno hate him? Don't you hate him?" she asked trying to figure this entire situation out. "How did this even happen?" she asked. "He was there when I needed someone. He knew the right things to say," you said pleading your case a bit embarrassed by having to say this all out loud.

She blinked a few times. "That's it?" she asked. "Don't judge me," you said back. She nodded, "I'm sorry," she said placing a hand on her chest. "Forgive me. I'm just trying to figure this out," she said.

"Me too," you said letting out a tired sigh. You flopped back on your bed. Head landing on your pillow. Your mom rubbed your arm gently. She sent you a half smile. She worried for you but she knew something like this you'd figure out. She's always known how smart you are.

While spending time at home your parents let you work at the Flower Shop to earn extra cash. Christmas was a busy time of year for your family's shop. Many men come in to buy flowers to propose to their girlfriends on Christmas. Poinsettias were your most popular flower, especially with all the Holiday dinners and parties many people were hosting.

You smiled as you finished wrapping a bundle of Hellebore. You handed it to the young man. He thanked you and left. Once he stepped out of the shop you heard the bell above ring twice. Looking up you saw the familiar face you had seen through most of your life. Jeno's mom stepped into the flower shop holding her purse close to her. She admired the flowers as she stepped inside. Her observing eyes met yours. She smiled walking over to you.

"Y/n hello," she greeted. You smiled at her standing behind the wooden counter. "It's good to see you," she said excited smile on her lips. You nodded in agreement. "Likewise," you responded. "How's school?" she asked. You sighed trying not to think too hard of an answer. "It's good. Sad it's ending," you slightly frowned. She chuckled lightly. "I would be sad too if I attended a school for wizards," she responded.

There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "How's Jeno been doing?" she asked curiously. "He doesn't tell me much," she said a hint of sadness in her tone. You weren't sure how to answer her. You tapped your finger on the counter. "I'm not too sure. We don't speak much anymore," you said back. Her lips scrunched to the side as he nodded. "Yeah, that's unfortunate. You guys we're close. I enjoyed seeing him happy," she said with a smile. You could see the change in her face. Her mind brings her back to the fond memories of you and Jeno together.

"He's still being an ass isn't he?" she asked. Taken back by her description of her son you didn't respond. She brushed it off. She shrugged. "Is he?" she asked. You decided to just nod. She pursed her lips shaking her head. She rested her arm on the counter loosening the grip on her purse.

"What am I gonna do that boy?" she questioned out loud the billing dinging as she finished. Jeno walked inside dressed in dark jeans and a black jacket wearing a hoodie over his head. He walked in acting as if the two of you didn't create chaos in this shop. You shifted your weight over to the register trying to distract yourself. Jeno's mom turned at your sudden change of attitude seeing her son walk inside and towards her.

"Jeno," she said a bit surprised. "I thought I told you to wait inside the car," she responded. He shrugged, "You were taking too long. I came to see what was wrong," he said eyes briefly meeting your frame. You scoffed grabbing both their attention. His mother didn't react much to you. Understanding why you grew quickly annoyed. He was being an ass, again.

"Problem?" he questioned. You huffed, "No," you responded trying to keep your control. "Doesn't seem like it," he argued back. You poked the inside of your mouth with your tongue shutting your eyes for a moment. "There's no issue," you said back. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Then I don't know why you sound like there is," he said back. His arm hit him in the arm to stop but he didn't.

"I'm not Jaemin, Jeno. Your poor attempt of coming in here and getting me to react is not going to work," you said opening the register and counting the money inside before you closed it back up. His mom looked over at him. Now annoyed with him as well for embarrassing her and himself. She tugged at his arm to leave but he remained still. "Jeno come on," she said pulling a bit harsher. He didn't budge he just stood there staring.

"I bet you'd like for him to be here," he said back. You kept your focus on tending the flowers behind you. Your back now facing him.

"You know he doesn't like you right?" he said a chuckle leaving his lips. "What's it to you if he likes me or not? You are in love with Samnatha. Remember?" you asked. Jeno huffed lips forming a tight line. Your back was still facing him but you knew the effect your words had on him. He gritted his teeth. His mom was not watching the two of you, trying to pull Jeno away. She knew the two of you were moments away from saying something to destroying the last saving bits of your relationship.

"You're right. I don't care whether Jaemin likes you are not. I could care less," he said back. "So then why are you still talking about it like you do?" you asked throwing everything back in his face which he was tired of.

"I don't," he said back. "Sounds like you do," you argued back. The two of you bickering like children.

"Enough!" his mom shouted. She grabbed Jeno's arm this time successful in moving him away. "I'm sorry Y/n. Well see you at the Party," she said as she left. When the door shut you felt bad. You genuinely liked his mom. It felt embarrassing to argue in front of her. To show her that side of yourself.

Once the guilt faded the pit in your stomach of the party tomorrow remained.

"Why me?" you asked out loud frustratedly.

The few days you spent in your home city were filled with family, celebrating the Holidays, and more unfortunate and irritating interactions with Jeno. It didn't help Jeno lives across the street from you. You could see him on your way to the flower shop every morning. Shoveling snow off his front yard. He'd look up in your direction. Adjusting his hat that fell over his eyes. Watching as you entered your parent's car. Place your coffee inside first before you sit down.

He watched you wipe off the side of your window and then start the car. You pulled out of the driveway driving away from your house and to the flower shop. Jeno scrunched his nose and upper lip turning up as he turned away. He dug the shovel hard into the snow. His cheeks were bright red from the cold. He shivered cool air leaving his lips. He went back inside once he finished.

Stepping into his empty house he removed his shoes. Placing his coat on the rack by the door and leaving his sweater on. He stepped towards the kitchen to make something to eat when he found something on his kitchen table. He walked over to it finding a folded piece of paper laying, folded with his name written on the front. A hellebore flower lying on top. He picked up the flower. Turned it in his fingers. He smiled for a moment.

This was one of your favorite flowers. He knew everything he could know about this very flower because of you. The memory soon faded from his mind when he remembered a note was still waiting for him on the table. He picked it up gently placing the flower down.

He opened the note reading the few lines written down.

Meet me at the Flower Shop.

There are things we have to discuss.

He held the letter in his hand. Frown forming on his lips. He wanted to meet you but he had just confessed to Samantha. A false confession but still he couldn't do that to her. He held the letter in his hand a painful feeling in his heart. He crumbled the note. Tossing it away. He would go to see you but only to end your relationship for good.

When he walked into the Flower Shop you and another worker both looked up at the door at the sound of the bell. Seeing it was Jeno you sneered turning back to your phone hoping he’d go away. But he didn’t. He walked to the register waiting for you to look at him. You could see him. Moving your eyes up but not your head. When he remained just standing there tapping his fingers on the wooden table you sighed.

You put your phone in your green apron giving Jeno a fake smile. “How can I help you?” You asked him. His fingers stopped tapping. Coming together to make a small fist. “I need to talk to you,” he said lips forming a thin line. You shrugged, “Too bad. I’m busy,” you responded.

He huffed shaking his head annoyed. “I’m serious,” he said but you ignored him. Hoping an actual customer would walk in. His fist unfolded. He sighed deeply his nostrils flaring. You ignored him. “Y/n I got your note this morning,” he said hoping a calmer approach would get you to talk.

You raised a brow looking over at him. “What note?” You asked. Jeno scoffed, “Don’t act confused. I know you wrote it,” he said sure of himself. You shook your head. Jeno now growing quickly frustrated with you brought his fingers to his temples. Why were acting so lost? It was clear the note was from you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked the tiredness in his tone. “Because I have no clue where you’re talking about,” you responded now leaving the register. You picked up a watering pot walking over to a few flowers. Jeno followed behind you.

Your coworker quickly left to attend to the flowers in the back.

“Let me make it simple then. You wrote a note. Then somehow left it on my kitchen table. Simple,” he said fake tone and smile on his lips. They both feel quickly.

“And let me make this simple for you. I didn’t write the note,” you said back almost slamming the watering pot down. You placed a hand on your hip annoyed. “Now leave. If you stay here any longer you’ll scare off the customers,” you said turning away to attend to a few more flowers.

“Then who wrote the note? Because I have a hard time believing it wasn’t you,” he continued. Your head fell back growing tired of him chasing you around like this. “Jeno I already told you it wasn’t me,” you said back. You’re back facing him. You turned to walk away again.

“There was a Hellebore beside it,” he said eyes watching you closely to see if you’d finally slip. He watched as you shook your head. “I’m telling you Jeno it wasn’t me,” you responded now confused. Who would write a letter from you to him? You tried your best to think about the situation. Unlike Jeno who still sat there waiting for some confession.

“A Hellebore?” You questioned out loud. He nodded. You focused zoning in on a few Hellebore’s in the shop. You tried to put some of the pieces together. Your mind led you to yesterday. Yesterday you had a few customers. None of them picked up hellebores except Jeno’s mother.

You sighed looking down. Jeno thought you were finally gonna confess. You turned around as he waited arms resting over his chest. “You remember when we were eight and we got into that fight by the pond? The one in the park where our parents had that picnic so my mom could watch the Tulips bloom,” you asked. Jeno only nodded in response.

“Remember how we didn’t want to talk to each other afterward so your mom told me you were waiting for me by the slide? Then she told you I was waiting by the slide as well?” You asked hoping he’d start to realize where you were going with this. You waited for a moment giving him time to process. Then his eyes changed. The realization on his face. He poked the inside of his cheek. He shook his head.

“I can’t believe my mom did it again,” he said with a chuckle. You chuckled too both of you smiling. If anyone else saw you’d look close. For you two this moment felt normal. Even if he was chuckling out of anger. You had missed the sound of his laugh.

“Me either,” you said back small smile on your lips. The laughter between the two of you died down. Replaced with a similar tension as before. Your eyes met Jeno’s. His eyes wandered. Looking everywhere but yours.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said. His hands dug into his pockets. His black boot gently kicked the wooden flower. A few leaves on the ground kicked away from the air of his boot. “I shouldn’t have barged in here and accused you. I should have known it wasn’t you,” he said the guilt in his tone.

You sighed shaking your head. “You couldn’t have known. What did the note say?” You asked. Jeno looked up at you. Not all the way. He just picked his head up a bit. “It said to come here. That we had things to discuss,” he summarized.

You nodded. “So,” you started. Your hands fiddled around the watering pot in your hands. “Do we have things to discuss?” You asked. Jeno swallowed shaking his head. “No. Not that I know of,” he said. He inhaled sharply exhaling as he turned to leave. You followed behind him placing the pot down. “Jeno,” you called. He sighed back facing you.

“Y/n please,” he spoke quietly.

You stood there eyes facing his back. You were tired of running away from your problems. Jeno was here now and even if you weren’t going to get answers you liked. You had to confront him. Now was your chance. “Jeno,” you called again. He sighed back muscles tensing up. He refused to turn to you. It hurt you but you brushed it off. Telling yourself it’s only because he didn’t want to face the truth.

“Jeno you can’t keep walking away. Especially not upset. Not when you’re prone to stupidity,” you said causing him to scoff. “What is that supposed to mean?” He asked. You shook your head. Tongue poking the inside of your mouth. “Not important. What’s important is we talk about everything that’s been going on. The way you’ve been acting with me,” you said. Jeno continued to focus his anger on you. You could feel the tension rise the more Jeno tried to pull away.

“Look there you go again,” you waved your hand.

“Shutting me out like you always do. A couple of weeks ago you would have begged me to talk to you. Now I’m standing here telling you I’m ready to talk and you just want to walk away,” you argued.

“Well, I’m prone to stupidity, right? Isn’t that what you think?” He asked still hurt by your comment.

“Well you haven’t done a good job at proving me wrong,” you spat back. There it was again. The back and forth. You two would never get anywhere if you continued to fight like children. Fighting to avoid talking about the issues was better for Jeno. It meant he wouldn’t have to own up to what he did. You weren’t having any of it. You weren’t going to apologize for anything. Not until Jeno straightened himself out and dealt with the issues at hand.

“Oh really? How have I done that?” He asked now turning to argue better with you. It was easier to look at you when he was pissed. He didn’t have to focus on the small details of your face. He couldn’t act like you weren’t even there. Like he was arguing by himself. Until you respond. He wouldn’t admit it but a part of him liked it when you argued back with him. For the same two reasons. One it meant he got under your skin and two it meant he got to hear your voice.

“I don’t know. Maybe when you told Samantha you were in love with her,” you spat like venom. Jeno froze but only for a moment. “I didn’t tell her I was in love with her,” he huffed out. The level of his volume is rising. “So describing to the class what she smells like after smelling a potion that makes you smell the scent of what or who you love isn’t a confession. Jeno do you think that I am stupid?” You questioned now irritated beyond return.

“I mean how could you sit here and lie to my face? Act as if you have done nothing wrong,” you said voice cracking a bit. You could feel the pit in your stomach form an uncomfortable knot. Jeno bit his cheeks. He was just as upset as you. His fist balled together, knuckles a bright shade of white.

“Why does it even matter?” He asked.

“It matters to me,” you spoke back stepping closer. “Why?” He raised his voice a bit. The both of you getting louder. Your coworker even flinched at the sound of Jeno’s voice.

“Why does it matter to you who I love?!” He asked yelling.

“It just matters!” You shouted back feeling the heat in your face rise.

“Well, it shouldn’t!” He shouted back turning away and knocking down a flower pot. You both ignored it. He walked outside in the snow. The snow coming down hard. You followed dressed in jeans and an apron. Jeno took one look at you and ushered you away.

“Y/n get back inside,” he spoke trying to back you to the door. You shook your head crossing your arms over your chest. You could feel the snow on top of your boots. The cold winter wind hitting your cheeks. You shuddered air leaving your lips. You ignored it. Tears from the strong breeze appeared in the corner of your eyes.

“Y/n get back inside!” Jeno shouted over the wind. You two were the only ones on the street. The rising blizzard keeping everyone at home. You shook your head. “No. Not until you tell me why,” you stood there stubbornly. He huffed kicking the snow. The air left his lips.

“Go inside!” He yelled frustratingly. As the temperature dropped he became more and more worried for you. And your stubbornness was pissing him off even more.

“I’ll go in once you answer the question!” You shouted back. The cold air started to hit your cheek. It hurt but you didn’t move. Jeno huffed angrily kicking some more snow. He marched his way over to you grabbing onto your shoulders. He tried to move you but you held your ground.

“All this just to avoid a question!” You yelled at him. He continued but you fought against him. “Y/n just fucking go inside,” he cursed lips a bright red followed by his cheeks. Your lips formed a tight line as you used all your strengths to fight against him. “I won’t,” you responded. He let go of you causing you to move forward a bit. He put his hands up.

“Fine. Stay out. I don’t care,” he said as he started walking away.

“Coward!” You shouted at him. He stopped in his tracks. He turned to you now even more pissed. Coward? A coward for what? Letting you go inside? Leaving you alone. Isn’t that what you have always wanted? He was giving you what you wanted. What he needed if he was ever going to try and live a normal life without you.

“What?” He asked now closer to your face.

“You heard me. You’re a coward,” you said back looking him dead in his eyes. “If I’m a coward so are you,” he said back gritting his teeth. Your arms found their way over your chest. More of an attempt to keep you warm than holding your guard. “How so?” You asked him a bit of sarcasm in your tone.

“First you get close to Renjun avoiding me. Then Jaemin? How many more guys are you going to befriend before they all lead you right back to me?” He asked. Now he was being a dick just to piss you off. You scoffed. He hoped that would make you go inside. But instead, he was met with your hand flying across his cheek before you walked away. Now he had to follow you in.

The bell dinged and then it dinged again when Jeno came in. Your entire body was shuddering. Your teeth with chattering as you walked behind the register. Your whole body felt ice cold when Jeno tried to reach behind you and touch your shoulder. You reached up for your sweater. Slipping it through your arms and wrapping it around your body.

“You can go,” you said to Jeno nasty tone in your voice. Jeno had no time to process the slap. He knew he crossed the line, again. “Y/n I…” he started but you ignored him. You reached for a tea bag placing it in a mug. You held the mug walking to the sink. You filled it with water and headed to the back where your coworker was. You looked over at him.

“Go home for the rest of the day. There’s a blizzard, I’ll close,” you said. He stood up quickly grabbed his belongings and left. You used your wand hidden in your sleeve to close the doors.

“We’re not allowed to use magic,” he began. You walked over to the microwave placing the mug inside. “Yes, we are. You have to be seventeen. You and I are older than that,” you said back placing the microwave to a minute. “I just can’t do magic when John is here,” you said watching the numbers go down. You looked over at Jeno who was still standing there.

“Goodbye,” you said annoyed on your face. He sighed moving closer to you. You back up a bit. He picked up a blanket and lay on the couch nearby. He walked over to you placing it over your shoulders. You shook your head walking over to the couch and sitting down. “This doesn’t change anything,” you said. He nodded sitting beside you.

“I know. But I’m sorry,” he said. You huffed turning away. “I should have gone back inside,” you said after a few moments of silence. He looked over at you. He went to speak but the microwave went off. He got up before you did bringing you the hot tea. He placed it on the table in front of you. You picked it up. The steam lightly hits your face. The warmth felt good.

“I shouldn’t have followed you out,” you said.

“But you did,” he said back. “I would have followed you too” following up. You shook your head. “Would you? I mean this whole time you’ve been acting like I don’t even exist,” you said a hint of sadness in your voice. “Am I that bad?” You asked feeling all the hidden emotions start to come out in and out of you.

He shook his head turning to you. “No no. It’s me,” he said lightly hitting his chest. “I’m the reason you’re freezing right now. I’m the reason why you’re hurting. I’m sorry,” he apologized again. You sipped your tea before you placed it back down.

“Is it easier to apologize for that?” You asked. Jeno raised a brow. He didn’t understand where you were going with this. “I’m not following,” he said.

“It is easier to apologize for being a bad friend when you know deep down there’s something else you want to say?” You asked. You turned more to him. “Because Jeno this goes beyond being a bad friend. You lied to me. Not just by confessing to Samantha but back at the Yule ball when you were with her,” you said all the same feelings you felt that night coming back. Jeno’s eyes widened a bit but he continued to listen.

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter who you date because we’re not together but, you treated me like I meant more to you than your friend. You made me believe that to you I was special,” you said.

“You are special to me,” he tried to say but you didn’t let him. “Not in that way. Not in the way I wanted to be. I liked you Jeno. There were times when you were all I could think about. Will he notice the pin on my cloak today? Will he compliment the new spell I learn? Will he be at the party tonight? How will he look? Will he think I’m beautiful? My heart burned for you Jeno and you put out the flames the minute you kissed Samantha,” you said tears now falling from your eyes.

Jeno felt terrible. It felt at this moment he didn’t describe you, not even to see you cry. Even if you forgave him he didn’t deserve to be your friend. He had disrespected you and it hurt him. His whole life with you was spent protecting you from all the assholes in the world and here was, just like Renjun and just like Jaemin.

“I’m not in love with Samantha,” he said almost whispering it if he spoke any lower. You tilted your head. “I know,” you said. He sent you a half smile. Now his eyes turn a bit red. A pink shade formed on his cheeks. “That’s part of the reason why we’re here,” you said back. His sad eyes looked at you waiting for you to continue.

“Before Samantha, you had an entirely new friend group which was fine. I wanted you to find people who enjoyed the same things as you. I know I’m into Quidditch like you. I wasn’t even into football when we were younger and you played,” you smiled a bit at the memories. The curve of your lips started to fall and quiver.

“But then they replaced me. They replaced us. You stopped caring. You didn’t come to my matches anymore. So I stopped going to your games. You’d ditch me in the garden to go to some party every time. And I never said anything because I wanted you to have fun. But then you stopped coming,” you said the words finally leaving your mouth. You licked your lips a taste of salt on your tongue.

“Then you asked me to the dance,” you smiled a bit feeling yourself get upset again. “I was so excited. I asked Yeri to help me find a dress. She helped with my hair and makeup. I felt so pretty. Then I saw you and my night was ruined. I just didn’t understand why. I think that’s what hurt,” you said a few more tears falling. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest.

“Knowing that it was so easy for you to hurt me. When even now,” your hands fell slapping your thigh. “It hurts me to see you upset,” you confessed. Jeno took a moment to think about everything you said. He couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He felt like such an asshole. He wanted nothing more than to hold you. Tell you he’s sorry as many times as he could until you forgave him. He wanted to go back and time and change what he did. But he couldn’t.

He looked at you again. Seeing the pain all over your frame. The sniffles that left you and your hand squeezed your apron. Your knuckles are a bright white. He chewed on his lips. He couldn’t forgive himself for hurting his best friend.

“I’m sorry Y/n. There is no excuse for what I did. My friends were teasing me about taking you instead of Samantha and like an asshole I listened. I should have taken you. I shouldn’t have listened to them. I will forever be sorry for that. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you the way you deserved. I should have been a better friend to you,” he said hand reaching out to touch yours. The warmth of his hand made you flinch a bit before you relaxed into his touch.

“I should have loved you like you loved me,” he said causing you to look up into his eyes. His face is inches away from yours and red. “Y/n,” he spoke looking deeply into your eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he confessed.

You felt a huge weight rest on your chest. More tears formed in your eyes. Your lip quivered. Your eyebrows furrowed and your eyes fell heavy. Your chest filled with heat. You felt all the pain and heartache resurface.

“Jeno,” you spoke. You could see the hope swimming around in his eyes. His hand let go of yours. He wore a gentle smile on his lips. He looked as if he knew what you were going to say. So he leaned in close closing the gap between the two of you and placing his lips on yours.

The kiss was soft. He gently placed his hand on your cheek pulling you close. Afraid if he'd let go you'd run away. When he pulled away the both of you sat there silently. The only sound is your shared breaths. Both of you looked each other in the eyes.

Jeno instantly pulled you back in a much more passionate kiss. He pulled you close to him. The blanket quickly slipped from your shoulders. His hands gripped the back of your head pulling you closer to him. You kissed back hand cupping his jaw and the other on his chest. Jeno was the one to pull back. Both of you panting. He shook his head sitting back.

It made you worry. He noticed the look on your face. Shaking his head he took your hands on his. He licked his lips. They still tasted like the tea you had drank. “I want too. I really do baby but not like this,” he said motioning to the break room of your parents flower shop. You nodded feeling a bit more relaxed. Jeno chuckled finger lightly grazing your cheek. He leaned back, shutting his eyes and placing a soft peck on your lips. He slowly pulled away eyes still a bit closed.

“What was that for?” You asked small laughter leaving your chest. He shrugged the pad of his thumb still resting on your chin. “Because it felt so good the first time,” he said.

He pulled back standing up. He raised his hand out to you. You looked up at him. You let the blanket fall and you took it. He lifted you off the couch.

“Let me take you home. We have to catch the train tomorrow,” he spoke softly as he walked you out. Hot tear stains on his cheeks. And voice shakey as he walked you out to his car slipping his coat onto you. Then he drove you home.

The car ride was silent. When the car reached your place he waited for a moment. He stopped tapping on the wheel. He looked over at you eyes glowing. “Want to take the train together tomorrow?” He asked. You nodded.

A smile formed on his lips. “Thank you for the ride. Goodnight Jeno,” you said. You turned to exit the car. Just as you were about to exit Jeno’s hand touched yours. You turned to him and he leaned forward placing his lips on yours. You kissed him back. He smiled into the kiss and you did the same. Hand reaching to graze his soft features.

He leaned his forehead against yours. A while ago you would have dreamed of this moment. And it was finally coming true. But when your hand fell from his face and you left the car. Watching as he parked it into his drive way. You could feel your heart swell. The notification that popped on your phone didn’t help either.

You took it out your pocket seeing a message from Jaemin, then Renjun.

Jaemin- Sit with me on the train? Darling.

Renjun- Would you like to sit beside me tomorrow?

Once you stepped inside your house. Closing the door and leaving the rest of the world behind you let out a breath. The rest of the school year was going to get a whole lot more stressful. Especially now when it’s obvious to you none of the guys are going to give up.

You just have to chose which one you want.

To Be Continued….

This felt like a right place to end. I really love this storyline but I can’t give to much before the final part. I’m excited and sad to see it end. I really enjoyed writing this small series and plan to do more Harry Potter stories in the future.

I want to make the next part a bit more interactive so stay tuned!

Until then see you soon;)

Tags: @kodasity @girlwholoveslpreppyattire