I thrash around like those inflatable tube men every time I remember that Neil literally just wanted to act, no matter if he had his parents permission or not. Possibly the most harmless way a teenage boy could rebel, and it was successfully twisted into a tale of obsession, and deception, and malicious defiance. So successfully, in fact, that I see some people who watched the movie call it that. It was just acting.
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Me staring at the 17 requests I've got in the chamber while I log onto my notes app to write a filthy as fuck professor!Mike x student!Reader fic ain't no one asked for
(anyone wanna guess the next fic-)
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i just caught up with a breach of trust and I don't even know WHAT to say. thank you? jesus christ? oh my god? my husband and friends all hate me bc I won't shut up about it? I've never read a fanfic that could hold a candle? a match even? I've been reading in all my spare time. I've had dreams bc it's the last thing I'm thinking about at night. then I read more over breakfast. WOW? wowowowow? thank you again?
(A Breach of Trust)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thank you for being as brain-rotted as I am over this Utter Behemoth of a fic!! It's woven into the fabric of my being at this point.
I've poured my heart and soul into it and it means so so much to me, so hearing that OTHER people are like, bothering the people in their OWN lives about it? Wow. I'm very happy over the notion that there are strangers who know vaguely of ABoT because their loved one wanted to tell them all about it.
I've really loved building it up from an empty Word document. I'm really happy and lucky other people have come along for that. Thank you!!
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as a young trans guy who isn't on any kind of hormones or anything like that, I can't wait for the day I can finally start.
I can't wait for my body to change and slowly become what I want it to be.
I wanna be able to wear feminine clothing without crying.
I wanna have stubble.
I want people to look at me and see me as a boy.
I want to look at myself and truly believe I'm a boy.
I wanna be able to look in my reflection and know that the person I'm looking at is Tommy. This is who I am and who I've always wanted to be.
it's not that I'm upset with how I look now, though, don't take it that way.
I do look pretty masculine.
I still wear crop tops and things more traditionally feminine.
but when I think of myself, Tommy, this isn't who I think of.
I think of whatever I will see when I look in the mirror someday in the future.
sometimes dysphoria can make me so upset, I'll get close to crying, I'll hate the way my body is.
but to get to where you wanna be, you've gotta go through the roads, right?
there's shortcuts that make things seem quicker, but you'll end up getting stopped by a red light later on.
and if you hate the ride there, you won't enjoy getting there in the end. you'll be exhausted and you'll just want to leave again.
but if you enjoy the ride, no matter how long or difficult it is, you'll be happy and ready to enjoy your time there as well.
that's what really keeps me going most of the time.
I can't wait to meet the Tommy I want to be, one day when looking in the mirror.
sorry for the long post, this was written at 3 am.
it probably should have just gone in the notes app but isn't that the same as Tumblr? ......no? shut up.
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fun idea. you know how i reblog certain posts regularly once a week? what i reblogged my “do you think their menstrual cycles synced up” post once every hmmmm 28 days. just a random regular interval i picked dont worry about it.
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hnnnng…
Thinking thoughts about making love to Vash again. Gentle strokes of your cock rocking in and out of him. There’s no reason to hurry. No need to rush through your intimacy with him. Just savoring the feeling between you both and hushed conversation. Quiet compliments and praise. Secrets shared to stay just between you of love and pleasure. How adorably his face scrunches when you hit a good spot inside him. How much he likes being caged in by your arms on both sides of him. There’s so much safety between you, so much trust. And you just lazily keep moving the whole time, mindlessly pushing in til your hips meet the backs of his thighs, and pulling out until only a little more than your tip remains in him. This constant loop of slow pleasure that only builds when you start teasing him, carefully feigning the threat of slipping from the warmth of his body so he whines in a panic. And you can kiss his fears away as you steadily push back in, only stopping when you’re seated to the hilt, hitting the deepest depths of him, and making him feel so full of you. So full of love as you move to hold his legs open with him, your tongues dancing around each other’s just for him to whine into your mouth when you spread him further in an attempt to get closer. Reach parts of him only you know that make his arms fling around your back as he shudders. And suddenly you’re forehead-to-forehead and every thrust has purpose. Intent put behind every roll of your body to make sparks fly in his vision for you to see as you look into his eyes, bluer than blue and brighter than the stars. But you know your angel and the magnetic pull that has his brain fizzling, abandoning the want for depth over the need for closeness as he pulls your body flush to his. You dutifully pick up your pace to make up for it anyway, letting his legs fall to wrap around your waist so you can hold him in your arms as he shakes, one arm around his back, and the other cradling his head into the crook of your neck. He pants so hard, dampening your skin with more than just your combined sweat and, honestly, he loves it. Loves the tacky feeling gluing you together. The resistance it provides when your hips leave his skin because, if he had his way, he’d stay like this forever. Loving and being loved for an eternity. He doesn’t care for cumming, reaching the heights of pleasure, though you’d doubtless take him there regardless. But, for him, he just wants to feel you forever, until you both wither into nothingness within the cosmos. If he could just be showered in your love, and shower you in return on this plateaux, he’d be happy with that.
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