#listen listen listen you HAVE GOT! TO WATCH THE CUTSCENES FOR THIS MAN

[shapeshiftinterest]

song: the fizzith

Look at the insane cutscenes of this game i played today

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[factual-fantasy]

27 Asks! Thank you!! :}}🍬

@drunkardbagels

@stupid-thatsme

Advises to draw move..? I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to be more specific- I'm not sure what you mean <:0

@mindblowingcow

My pinned post states that I've been sick for months and am taking a break from my FNAF AU until further notice. Also I cant reveal anything else in the story-

Whenever anyone talks about the Peso currency, I cant help but immediately picture the little penguin in my head XDD

Update on Bash Buggy, he was donated to a charity of some kind I'm pretty sure <XD He's off to bigger and better things! Other than that I have no memory or developments to his story <:(

XDD I guess it happens to the best of us huh.

Also I hardly remember any of the characters from Slime Rancher.. but I remember liking the player character and her boyfriend/friend(??) from earth :}}

I have my transformers art tagged as "transformers prime" and/or "transformers ocs". You can search for it in my blogs search bar! :0

@gingerbravecookie

Oooo I'll have to look into those cutscenes! :0 Since I don't intend to play the other games <XD

HES A REAL KING TO MEEEEE 😭😭💞💞💞

We both have them googly eyes frfr XDD

(Referencing this video)

I have the video saved to watch later, I haven't gotten around to it yet <XD

@kaiserdarken

Freddy doesn't take Gregory out to trick or treat, and other than some spooky decorations and some special performances.. I cant see the animatronics doing anything else for the spooky season. :0

@pink088 (Images in ask👇👇👇)

THAT WAS YOU ALL ALONG??

:DD Thank you! I'll have to remember to send this out-

(Referencing this post)

Other than Gulp, Gunk and Gorp, the big pink frog in the middle is called the mama frog :))

Also the tiny orange one miiight be named stubby. Since he has a stubby arm. (His arm hole was too narrow to flip him arm right side out so it became a stump💀)

Other than that, I have no other name ideas <XD

@kiki-is-hurt-but-not-anymore

Thank you! Congrats on the 53 followers! :DD

@smol-bean-boi13

XD Thank you so much! :DD And I love the drawing!! :}}

@notmrkillwolf666

I have not :( but perhaps I should look into it! :0

@beryl-shade (Referencing this post)

XD I'd watch your words, Seafoam is a taken man!

(First and second link in question)

Ugh, always a shame to see.. thanks for letting me know <:(

@void-the-bear

ngl, kind'a horrific XDD

@bluescarlet13 (Don't worry, I've kept a duplicate of this ask to potentially draw later! :})

AAAA thank you! :DDD You've been around for quite a bit! And thank you for all the kind words, I really appreciate it!! :}}}

(Don't worry, I've kept a duplicate of this ask to potentially draw later! :})

I don't eat Tacos or Burgers anymore.. but my favorite of the two would be Tacos :) specifically the ones with the cheesy dorito shells!

(Don't worry, I've kept a duplicate of this ask to potentially draw later! :})

Thank you, <:) tbh a lot of the people who made me uncomfortable in the Octonauts fandom where probably kids who wouldn't listen to me/respect my boundaries. Which I mean hey, kids will be kids. But that doesn't make it anymore ok or make me want to rejoin the fandom-

@coinezalot (Don't worry, I've kept a duplicate of this ask to potentially draw later! :})

Currently I've been working on my CookieRun: Kingdom OCS and trying to write lore for them.. I've also been thinking about my Kirby OCs and these other Original OCs of mine :0

In this post and this post you can see my two original OCs I've been working on. Snakes and the unnamed kid. They are two characters that I've been thinking about making my own webcomic about, but their story got kiiinda complicated.. so I've slowed down in developing their story. <:/

Other than making more CRK OCs and more Kirby OCs, I'm not planning much! :0

[moondirti]

I’m so down bad for Ghost 😭 imagine one day he catches on to the things his voice does to you, he’s talking to you one day and noticed the way you suddenly get tense the moment he praises you and then he takes it and runs with it, absolutely cocky at the fact he can ruin you without even touching you

Every time I hear a voice line or watch a cutscene with him, I get weak 😭 god just kill me pls

i listen to his voice lines to help me go to sleep at night. something about that accent, man

Ghost is not a verbal man. He's best known for his strength, brutal efficiency - that cutthroat quick thinking in moments that mean life or death. In the rare instances that his words don't form barked commands or interrogative jabs, he finds that they come out... awkward sounding. Like the consonants don't meld with the vowels, and two syllables make one. Praise, whispered nothings, affection; tender proclamations fit like kernels in the gaps between his teeth. He's just never had anyone to model it for him.

The most he gives you is a nod, a low grunt of approval when you pitch in with helpful insight during a debriefing. But for all his faults, he is nothing if not observant. Ghost picks up on the subtle hitch of your breath, the glossy sheen over your eyes that glints as you perk at the reinforcement. He's not dumb, either - he knows what it means. The rookie's got it bad; either for him, for his voice, or maybe just for any validation you can get your hands on.

It's not purposeful. At least, he doesn't intend to feed into your little secret. But it finds its way into his treatment of you, like a fixture gnawing on an ego he's tried to conceal eons ago. He hums contemplatively as you speak, echoes your advice as demand, even goes to the unprecedented extent of clipping out a husky 'good' when you hit a target right on the mark. He isn't just doing it to sate you. You're genuinely intelligent, and skilled, and absolutely fucking gorgeous when you try to hide your delighted grin behind a trembling hand.

So perhaps it's perversion. Perhaps he's an deeply disturbed individual who revels in the fact that a person as brilliant as you has likely never been told as much. He doesn't have it in him to care. It's his own little game, a whim to pass the time between gunfire and detonations.

That is, until everyone else starts to notice.

Because of course they do. Ghost rarely ever spoke before you, let alone gave out consistent praise. Consequently, they take it upon themselves to assume shit for it, crafting increasingly ridiculous rumours that put both you and him into question. It manages to inspire an acrid emotion inside him, a mix of unbridled anger and violence that has him seeing bright red. He shuts them down before they gain any traction, looming over officers who think they're being discreet. It's no wonder that, quicker than it happened, the gossip stops.

You're still outcast, though. Jealousy is a vile thing.

But it only means he has a larger chance to get you alone. And when he does?

"Chin up, sergeant. You're at a level they can never hope to reach."

The image of your parted lips sears itself onto the back of his eyelids. He looks for it in his most shameful points, a hand wrapped around his thick length as water beats down his back.

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 23 thoughts

we’re back!! and i appreciate the TW in advance about the sensitive content in this episode from a few followers. thank you very much for the warning! 🙏

but i’m excited to see what is going on today, and i’m sure it’ll be a doozy. let us read the episode description... now how do these agents keep getting involved in crimes that they didn’t commit??

must be CSM. i suspect him always. saves time.

(author's note post episode: woah.... so much happened... i have many questions... and i love mulder and scully very very very much <3)

anyway! let us begin!

okay, yes, i recall after watching the last episode, the beginning of this one started playing, and it was super creepy, and here we are again. very blurry, and it looks like stuff is on fire and warped.

yes, the garbled voices and samantha yelling to mulder as i had accidentally previewed before….. everything is flashing and weird sounding… i do not care for this.

despite being a grown man, when mulder looks in the mirror he sees himself as a child. must be a fever dream. 

they see their parents fighting??? mrs. mulder is saying something about “her baby”….

cutscene to a sweaty mulder on the floor!!! and not on the bed.

A BED?! where is he?? this is not his home!!

and his white shirt is covered in BLOOD??? he doesn’t seem to realize this at first!!!!

so he calls scully!!!! at 4:50 on the morning!!! awww poor girl was dead asleep... but she wakes up <3

he’s in a motel room in rhode island?!?!?!? he doesn’t know how tf he got there and whose blood is on him!!!!!

didn't he spend time in rhode island as a kid...

oh i’m invested…….. how does a guy get in this situation…. and what is scully going to do about it?????

whose blood is it!!!!

(cheering at gillian anderson in the intro)

NOW WHO PUT MY BOY IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!

at 6:15 AM scully is pulling into the rhode island motel. THAT is EFFICIENT!!! oh i know she was flooring it to get there so quickly. also it’s april now btw

she is, indeed, going very fast. 

his motel door is open…..  and the shower is running…. she’s yelling to him

(something very domestic about yelling to someone while they’re in the shower; it makes my heart melt a lil)

but what is less domestic is when he mumbles that he “can’t get warm”, and when she pulls the curtain open he’s curled up, shivering as he sits in steaming hot water!!! 

oh sopping wet poor meow meow…. what has been done to you???

she quickly deduces that he is in shock (medical doctor moment!!!) and turns off the water. she tells him to get dry and gets a blanket, and he emerges with just a towel wrapped around his waist, which is a shocking display of vulnerability- but we can unpack that later 

she’s absolutely shifting into doctor mode (perhaps my favorite mode of hers) as she asks him if he feels nauseous or dizzy and wraps him in a blanket, looking into his eyes, tilting his chin to glance at every angle of his face 

oh shit this is SERIOUS. she pulled out the “track my finger” and “do you know what day it is”, like this is going DOWN. i mean i KNEW it was going down with the bloody shirt and the curled up grown man in the shower. but a doctor is not playing around when they ask you what day it is.

the last thing remembers was talking to her on friday!!! and it’s sunday!!! and he was in his apartment!!! so how tf did he get here???

but he packed a change of clothes… or maybe someone ELSE did?? is it a red herring?? did someone kidnap him???

she quickly finds his gun and TWO ROUNDS HAVE BEEN FIRED???? WHAT!!!

(okay, i knew that was going to happen because i read the episode description, but it’s still wild!!!)

he doesn’t remember anything at all… and she sits down to explain he needs to go to the hospital now

“possibly the early stages of encephalitis”, she says, and oh man, i don’t even want to google that 

(but i did. eugh...)

“if this is an aneurysm, it can drop you in a second” <- she is telling him to listen tf up and GO TO A HOSPITAL NOOOOOOOOOW!!!

OHHHH HE FINDS SOMEONE NAMED AMY’S KEYS!!! WHO IS AMY?????

so he drove here and checked into the motel on saturday…. and there is a car is filled with blood in the parking lot!!!!! with a registration citing amy and david.

oh my GOD he won’t go to the hospital DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? YOU COULD LITERALLY DIE AT ANY SECOND, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN AN INVESTIGATION WHERE YOU’RE BARELY EVEN THERE??? WHY DON’T YOU THINK SCULLY CAN HANDLE IT ON HER OWN?? GODDAMN IT, LET HER TAKE CARE OF IT, I’M SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE A HINDRANCE TO ANY PROPER INVESTIGATION, YOU PISS ME OFF.

okay.

there are tons of photos with faces cut out??? carefully cut out by some guy who is dripping blood onto them. which is... unpleasant.

ohhhh they show up at amy and david’s house and the housekeeper doesn’t know where they are… this is not an auspicious sign. he asks to look at a painting?? maybe he went to the place in the painting before???

he knows this house… but he doesn’t know why. it’s the house amy grew up in and it’s ALL SHE PAINTS???? which is absolutely wild. they go into a room where she’s painted it over and over and over countless times. i mean, i appreciate, having a muse but this was just next level dedication.

it’s near his old summer house!!!! see, i knew rhode island would be relevant. 

scully is driving him around in his big leather jacket. they find the house, which is very much falling apart, BUT HE WINCES AND GRABS HIS HEAD!!!! OH GOD!!!

he’s getting visions from childhood of his parents screaming about orders, and it not just being him, and YOUNG CSM (!!!) it must be from when they learned samantha was going to be taken as insurance that his father wouldn't expose the project, and it caused his parents to divorce 

he wakes up on the ground with scully over him (ohhhhh…….) and she carefully props him up. and it was “some kind of clonic event” 

my heart does flips when she is doctoring. but don't worry about that.

“i feel… really… good right now” <- LMAOOOOO actually the funniest possible thing you could say after such an event happening 

but he proceeds ahead with investigating the house

ohhh the score is spooooky and suspenseful… oh my god, scully finds someone with a gunshot wound in her heart!!!!!!!!!!! it must be amy!!! and her husband who is dead nearby!!!!!

then who tf was the guy cutting out the pictures!!!!

the cops have arrived, and they want to speak to mulder, but scully says she refuses “to believe that you had any part in this” (and that’s what a bestie is for)

the detective is clearly not believing that the first time mulder saw the victims was when he walked into their house with their keys that he somehow had. which yeah. okay, it does look bad. but listen. sometimes things look bad that aren’t in reality.

scully refuses to let them take him down to the station!!! he is getting his ass to the hospital NOW!! even if the police take him, okay??? he is going there.

YEAH, YOU TELL THEM!!!!!

and scully wants to take a look at the bodies. she tells mulder do NOT say anything else to the cops. somehow i don’t think he will follow this advice.

scully has her doctorly gear on and oh. she’s snipping something from amy’s head. oh god. hole. in her head. not from gun. whewwww.

NASTY. NASTY BAD. shoutout props team, i repeat as my grounding mantra. do you think the actors ever gagged filming this stuff?

that was a lot. she wants two examinations on her and to know WHY they died. 

head. hole. not good. 

mulder has a bandage on his arm indicating he must have been discharged from the hospital, and his he's laying his head on the table as detective curtis brings him a paper bag. mulder looks very sad.

at first i thought the detective was bringing him lunch, which would be a surprisingly thoughtful gesture, and perhaps indicate a shred of humanity in him. but no. he says that what is in the bag reveals that mulder knew the victims AND that they were shot execution style with his weapon!!!

it’s his bloody shirt… the bloody shirt from before. with both of the victim's blood on it!!! 

oh man… he explains that he does not remember but then he gets read his miranda rights…. NOOOOOOOOOO MY BOY

he has his hands cuffed and is in the bright orange jumpsuit :( free him!!!

but scully comes in and says she’s going to get him out of there!!!! “you’re a doctor, not a lawyer, scully” <- mulder, heed my words: do not doubt her power.

wow… times have changed. scully had to explain what ketamine was to detective curtis. because it was in amy’s blood. had it aired today, we would not need such a disclaimer.

he's baffled because ketamine is a veterinary drug and hey, mulder? why the hell do you know that.

(ohhhh, he probably learned it in mind school back in oxford. i was wondering if he was the kind of rich where he had horses, and therefore knew about their treatments)

detective curtis sucks. they find k in mulder and he doesn’t even give a damn. rude as hell.

(he does that gesture with his head that means “let’s talk away from the others”) "scully, you don’t have to do this” <- LIKE SHE WOULD EVER *NOT* DO THIS???? AND JUST LET HIM SIT IN JAIL????

ohhhhh she straight up tells the detective that he’s jailing an innocent man…. read him for filth!!!!!!

WAIT!!! one of the other cops is the one who was cutting out all of the photos!!!!

he pulls out a gun and fires?? hey man. what's going on.

it takes medical scully .5 seconds to determine that he is dead. and this guy also has that mark on his head that amy had!!!

this officer, now deceased, had become a joke for believing in aliens and other such creatures. scully says that the cutting himself out of the photos speaks to mental illness… and she finds a magazine of abductees with amy on the cover!!!

so both amy and this other officer had a deep puncture wound that went to their brain, and she thinks that they knew each other…

mulder is writhing about on the prison floor, while he recalls CSM and his father arguing, and fleeing to find samantha. and he remembers his mother beating on his father’s chest, yelling “not samantha, not samantha”…. then he shakes on the bars and screams for the guard!!!!!!!

he spent all night demanding to talk to scully!!!! and he just recently shut up!!!! wow!!! that's determination!!!

he’s sitting in the prison cell… “i heard you didn’t get much sleep”, she says when she walks in.

and this make me so emotional. she wants him to be okay SO badly, and they do this thing where they act like everything is totally fine and chill when things couldn’t be worse, and it makes me teary. they're trying to preserve normalcy, but doing so with a grin as if to say, what even is normal anymore? it's part of their whole "saying so much with so little" th

he says he did not kill those people, and she believes him, and she’s gathered enough proof to support that. OKAY DETECTIVE!!!!!

the blood splatter on the shirt doesn’t match the point of entry of the bullets!! so then how did the blood get on there????

scully theory time: amy believed she was an abductee, and perhaps she had contacted mulder. and her repeated house paintings were evidence of the treatment she was undergoing. 

she believes they were suffering from “waxman-geschwind syndrome” (i love that she knows this <3), which leads to vivid dreams 

it is also called dostoyevsky syndrome because he had it!!! fun facts with scully <3

but now he needs to know why he was there and why he didn’t stop the violence with amy and david, because he’s mulder and of course everything is his fault. but also, i don’t blame him, because i would feel the same way if i learned something horrific happened in my presence and i could not recall it.

she has arranged for his arraignment, and scully parks haphazardly in the parking lot of the psychologist’s office where amy was receiving treatment. and they find his car!! covered in dust!!

they go to speak with dr. goldstein, who says he hasn’t met mulder before. 

dr. goldstein uses light and sound to access repressed memories, which sounds evil. “it’s unconventional but it’s not invasive” <- girl what would the FDA say?!?!?

(this show relies an awful lot on repressed memories. how do you even know if you have any of those?)

the doctor insists that he is very ethical and seems deeply offended at their implications that what he does is morally unsound, but scully looks deep into his eyes and said “i know what you do”…. ohhh girl what do you know!!!

OH!! mulder remembers coming here WITH amy!!! so the doctor totally lied to their faces. and scully says he GAVE amy and mulder the ketamine, and whatever else he did started the blackouts and seizures

see, this is interesting, because now we know that ketamine can be useful in medical treatment of mental illness, but clearly dr. goldstein was just playing mad scientist.

she asks why tf he would undergo those treatments, but bam!!! more mulder doubled over in pain, recalling his parents fighting. he falls to his knees

“i’m fine” “no, i’m not going to take that for an answer. you do not belong at work. you need to be somewhere where you can be monitored” <- YES TELL HIM!!!!!!! stop messing around!!!

(everyone cheered)

the height difference here is super visible and it looks almost like a foot between their heads and it’s soooo <3

“you are a danger to yourself and a danger to me” <- OHHHH yes. convince him to do it for your sake if he won't do it for himself.

OHHHH BUT HE DOESN’T WANT THE SYMPTOMS TO STOP!!! he says he’s remembering what happened after his sister was taken away!!

well, maybe we can remember from a hospital bed?

he asks for the car keys and she keeps refusing, and just when i think she’s going to give in and let him have them, she says they can go to his mom's house, “but i’m driving” and that’s right queen you do NOT let that man behind a wheel!!!!!

off to his mother’s house

surprise mulder visit!!! he is barreling right in. she seemed so happy to see him... but this changes.

“you’ve kept things from me, you’ve kept secrets from me” ohhh she asks scully wtf is wrong with him…

HE SAYS THAT TAKING SAMANTHA WASN’T THEIR CHOICE??? he wants to know what happened that night and he doesn’t want scully to hear…. damn, that’s crazy 

so they go in a room and he ACCUSES HIS MOM OF CHEATING ON HIS DAD WITH CSM??? okay, so i thought i was seeing hints of this in the past, but like. they could have just been friends, so i didn’t think that much of it. clearly there was some sort of fondness, the genre of which is yet to be determined.

he’s saying that she betrayed their family to do so, and she SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE!!!

“who is my father?” “what do you want, to kill him again?” <- OH MY FUCKING GOD????

(this is absolutely WILD because we know how much of a momma's boy he is, how he hugs her and tucks her in bed and kisses her forehead and has doted on her ever since her stroke; to hear him say all of this is deeply shocking and indicative of how unwell he is)

she says she won’t answer any more questions and he’s bleeding from the forehead…. 

he snuck out and took the car??????? LEAVING SCULLY IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE?????

what are they supposed to talk about!!!!!!!!

he rolls up to dr. goldstein's office and asks what he did to him. 

“i did nothing wrong” “you put a HOLE in my HEAD” <- medical malpractice lawsuit is loading, but that line delivery killed me

turns out he put a hole in his head to electrically stimulate his brain?? and mulder says to do it again???

absolutely nothing should ever touch your brain imo, but what do i know?

he shoots mulder up with some k and lays him down, straps him into a contraption and turns it on. 

it seems he remembers his mother being choked?? but you can’t tell by who because everything is so distorted. WHO HURT HER??

now goldstein is strapping him down even more, and putting ANOTHER HOLE IN HIS BRAIN (!!!), and it’s reminding me of that terrible drill from scully’s abduction that kept inching closer and closer

when a ton of cops show up to arrest goldstein!!! he leaves behind a bloody seat, but no mulder??? where did he go!!!!!

scully is here now too and goldstein wouldn’t snitch so scully is off to question him. 

HOLY FUCK he won’t answer so she straight up GRABS HIM!!!!! until he says mulder said he was going to “exorcise his demons” 

(she was wild for that one but also entirely understandable. you don't lay hands on him around her and walk away unscathed)

SO HE GOES BACK TO RHODE ISLAND??? where the events of that particular evening that keep being replayed again and again in his head went down.

the house is surrounded by cops, and she explains that the officers must NOT SHOOT, and he needs immediate medical care, and she is going in, so watch tf out.

it’s so so so quiet as she walks in…. she starts to yell his name and he says “leave me alone, scully” (he's out of his mind but could still recognize her voice... something touching there)

she opens the door and he’s in some kind of trance??!

WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS HIS GUN????? near his mouth. oh no. oh no oh no oh no.

(the hallucination cgi that gets cut between these very serious scenes almost makes me giggle)

he turns the gun on scully and says “GO AWAY” oh my fucking god…

“are you going to shoot me, mulder? is that how much this means to you?” (he nods)

he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not-

she tries to tell him that he’s on powerful drugs, and he doesn’t even know if those memories are his, and this isn’t the way to the Truth, and put down the gun, but then he FIRES TWO SHOTS???

the police are rushing in, and he is still firing!!!!!!!!

he shot them all into the window?? or wall or something??? and he slumps over

and she rests her body on him oh my GOD. oh my GOD.

the vulnerability there of her shielding him with her whole body while he relives his worst memories (that may or may not have actually happened) in a hallucinogenic haze....... her need to heal him... and his need to protect her coming through even though moments before he was ready to kill her......... hold on. we need to think on it.

we end with a scully episode wrap up, which i feel we haven't gotten in a while. she says he was cleared of wrongdoing, but he still has no recollection of what went down that night. and his seizures have subsided. 

“but i’m concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. agent mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past- that by retrieving memories lost to him, he might finally understand the path he’s on. but if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then i fear agent mulder may lose his course, and the truths he’s seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him… driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit”

(fade to black)

SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.

hold on. there are a MILLION things to unpack here.

this episode really solidified to the utterly batshit lengths he is willing to go to try and reach the truth, to the point beyond self-destruction into like, self nuclear annihilation. like we just need to let that sink in for a second. holy fuck. i mean i KNEW he was haunted and i knew he was tortured and i knew he was going to devote every minute of his life to getting the Truth, but the recklessness with which he does so reached new heights here. he let some guy give him DRUGS and drill into his BRAIN. what the actual fuck bro.

also, what actually happened?? who actually killed those people and put him in their bloody shirt?? it’s left entirely ambiguous. beyond the visuals of CSM, there are no other clues. did the victims end their own lives with his gun after remembering stuff they had suppressed from dr. goldstein’s brain tickler??? or was he poorly framed? and if so by who and how and why??

and also. he thinks his dad might not be his dad???? can you IMAGINE him knowing that it is CSM’s blood in his veins??? holy FUCK bro. his mother seemed DEEPLY offended so i don’t feel like that is actually the case but you never know with these things. i'm going to assume those were the drugs talking because we know how much he loves his momma, but for that chilling thought to even enter his head, god, the turmoil and self-loathing it must have produced.

and scully… this was a mulder episode, but it also really was her episode. her doctoring, her sleuthing- she gets him out of trouble that someone worked overtime to get him into by discounting all of the evidence carefully constructed against him- her putting her foot down and saying get to the hospital, i'm not going to stand by and let this keep happening, and then putting herself in front of the gun for him, risking it all to try and bring him back from the brink. her covering him with her own body, holding him down, being there for him as he witnessed his demons dancing in from of him.

her grabbing goldstein by the neck, saying she will not lose anything else, not after so much has been taken from her; dammit she’ll grab what she has left and sink her claws in, and help who gets between her and her loved ones, be it a shitty detective or a grand murder conspiracy, because she’ll calculate the most efficient way to tear everything to the ground and then hold steady in the ruins

wow. need to sleep on this one for sure. it went absolutely CRAZY. but again, s4! it’s so dark! where is the laughter??

so, what do i think after approximately 24 hours have passed since i watched this episode? i enjoyed it! my mutual phoebe pointed out how scully is the one who is in charge here, which is a big change from her loss of autonomy that characterizes the rest of the season. and i have to agree. it felt good to watch her in her element, be it solving crime or diagnosing niche psychological conditions or putting her life on the line for mulder. again, it was centered on his demons, but were these not also scully's demons? watching someone she loves lose who they are under the influence of something that cannot be controlled? and the realization that he was desperate enough to consider such a thing an option in the first place? watching her best friend suffer- is that not also a form of torture?

it was nice to see him tortured for a change. it's been a while! and it's so interesting to watch.

so i liked the episode, but i probably wouldn't get down with a casual rewatch. again, a bit too heavy for kicking my feet up and relaxing. but i thought it was very interesting, a fascinating look into both of their characters, and as a whump addict i am deeply pleased.

[goldensunset]

as with any thing i’m obsessed with i often daydream about what i personally would do if i got the chance to remake pla and make any changes i wanted

some things include:

•better graphics of course and like just bigger areas obv

•*gestures to both of volo’s designs* Something ahout those! lol

•also i’d remove his evil laughter at the celestica ruins lol. don’t give it away boy!!!!!! or at least turn it into a simple, moderately off putting chuckle

•make a Bad Ending cutscene for if you lose to volo. or at the very least a cut to black and a concerning sound effect of some sort and a game over

•otherwise i really can’t think of how i’d top his fight lol it was soooo good

•i would. change his dialogue right beforehand to make it a little more natural and logical. maybe even have him intimidatingly approach you as if he were trying to grab the plates from you until your lead pokémon jumps out to protect you. ik it would never happen like that in this series but like please it would be so good

•this is a big one- i’d make it so you really aren’t allowed to access any base camps in the wilds during the red sky exile sequence. giving you access to most things you had in jubilife anyway, plus you being allowed underneath the banner of the galaxy team, kinda cheapened it. me personally i will always choose not to use those during that part and only do things at cogita’s place. it would be suuuuper cool if like the guys at the camps like threatened you if you tried to approach!

•i think all wild pokémon should’ve taken on an aggressive nature during the red sky part. or more alphas. or like in my fantasy if you make one of them angry you start getting Chased all the way across the map, baby!!! like you’ve got a horde going after you! like it’s actively terrifying. either that or everyone gets a timid disposition because Nature is being Abnormal and they’re scared. k but like imagine the strange lightning suddenly coming down around you at random and striking random pokémon around you and they go insane. you never know when it’s gonna happen. watch out for that level 3 bidoof man!!!

•would’ve made the frenzied nobles a lil more Frenzied outside their battles. i’d love to be just wandering around the map and see them in the distance, visibly aggressively stomping around, and oh no is that thing coming this way? oh it better not be— like i want that thang to be Violent

•i know voice acting is never going to happen bc of being able to name your character etc and i get it but also like they could do it persona style right??? change the spoken dialogue ever so slightly from the text to be more generic and just use pronouns and such. listen we deserve to hear volo go insane

•find a way to fit the distortion world into the plot. no listen i don’t care how but just do it

•also make the stone portal a whole cave system like in the original gen 4! we deserve a dramatic ascent up the mountain. with!!! the mount coronet theme playing the whole time!!!!!

•i would’ve liked to battle volo more often throughout the story! but in a casual way such as not to build up suspicion for him or anything

•just uhhh. have the overworld music play more often and get interrupted by less stuff lol. also if at all possible do it sv style and have different battle tracks for each area that don’t break the immersion. no but like i know they’ve gotta be loyal to the sinnoh wild encounter theme ik…

might think of more later. but like this is what the inside of my brain looks like. no hate to the game as it is of course the entire reason i have so many thoughts like this is because i love it way too much. these are my fantasies

[cramathonn]

Pompey died, cried, and hated becoming a ethereal

SPOILERS FOR THE 1.2 STORY QUEST AHEAD!!

He did

He hated it

Like, listen

That man looked so pained, like obviously physically, did you see how unnaturally his arms bent? But the look he gave Caesar as he pushed her away

That MILISECOND glance he gave her

It was pain, it was distaste at himself, disappointment that he was becoming an Ethereal

That man died being betrayed, didn't get the chance to be treated and saved because of the sabotage Lucius planed and had people watch him as he turned into an Ethereal

I am in shambles

My dear sweet Pompey, Hoyo did you so dirty... You deserved so much better

I need to make fix it x readers like, y'all have NO IDEA how HYPED I was, believing he was going to be playable, in love with his design

And them BOOM death

IN FRONT OF ME

TWICE

HE GOT BACKSTABBED IN THE COMIC CUTSCENE

AAND THEN IN AN ACTUALLY 3D CUTSCENE

Like, please Hoyo, that is targeted harassment agains me and my fellow Pompey enjoyers

I hope they pull a HSR and make dead characters playable, because I need him in my team

But yeah, he did

He totally cried when no one was there

Not of sadness, no, but of pure and sheer fustration. Frustration that his right hand betrayed him, frustration that he didn't see it sooner and frustration because he was going to become a monster due to how hopeful and forgiving he was towards Lucius

That

That just hurts me so much... My sweet old man Ily sm and I would fuck you even as a monster because gyatt dayum, that etheral design bangs, I would so let Ethereal Pompey ruin my insides, y'all have no idea

[daitranscripts]

Cole Cutscene: Warm Approval

Look For Cole

Cole Masterpost

The PC looks for Cole above the Tavern, but he isn’t there. They find him sitting outside, overlooking the medical tents.

PC: What are you doing?

Cole: Listening.

A woman walks past.

Cole: Eyes rough, jangling armor hurts my ears, back aching, fingers too clumsy for knots.

She tends to an injured soldier.

Cole: Wind cool like Aunt Eloise’s pond. Lips scalded as I sip, warmth blossoms, first kiss in the barn, what was his name?

She speaks to a nearby Chantry sister.

Cole: Tin jangle as the blood spills. Pierre’s wrapped body on the wagon to the chantry. Five more minutes. My fault.

1 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Do you hear everything? [2]

General: Can you help her? [3] +Cole slightly approves

General: What was that? [4]

General: Don’t harm her. [5] +Cole slightly approves

2 - Investigate: Do you hear everything? PC: Can you listen to anyone’s mind like you did hers? Cole: No. They have to need me. Pain, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, hurt. Things I can fix. [back to 1]

3 - General: Can you help her? PC: Can you do something for her? Cole: Yes. [6]

4 - General: What was that? PC: could almost see what had happened to her. Cole: Yes. PC: Is that what it’s like for you? Cole: Yes. [6]

5 - General: Don’t harm her. PC: I don’t want to see her hurt. Cole: She already is. [6]

6 - Scene continues.

Cole appears below, near the woman.

Cole: It’s okay. Nothing you did mattered.

Healer: What? Who are you?

Cole: They lie there, and sometimes they die, just like Pierre. You can’t save them.

Healer: I don’t… I don’t know who you are…

Cole: Wait, that didn’t work. Let me try again. You’ll forget me in a minute.

The PC joins them.

7 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Wait, what? [8]

General: [Wait and watch.] [9]

General: No, don’t do that. [10]

8 - Investigate: Wait, what? PC: What are you going to do? Cole: Make her forget me. Then do it again, the right way. [back to 7]

9 - General: [Wait and watch.] Cole: You can’t save all of them. Healer: What? Cole: Like Pierre getting sick after you snuck out to Aunt Eloise’s pond. You want it to be your fault, so there’s a reason and it’s not so frightening. But there’s no reason. Pierre just got sick. The soldier was never going to live. It wasn’t your fault.

There’s a moment with a bit of magic.

Cole: Better.

She walks away.

Dialogue options:

General: Nice work. [11] +Cole slightly approves

General: They don’t remember you? [12]

11 - General: Nice work. PC: She doesn’t blame herself anymore? Cole: Not as much. It was bouncing around inside her, closing up into a ball of wrong. Now it’s open. She’ll get it out. PC: Well done. [13] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 12 - General: They don’t remember you? PC: So you walk into their lives, make them feel better, and they just forget you? Cole: Yes. It’s better to help and then be gone. If I stay, it can be frightening. PC: For you or for them? Cole: Yes. [13] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 13 - Scene continues. ㅤㅤ ㅤ Cole: Thank you for letting me help her. It’s not how a person would do it… But it helped. That’s what matters. Scene ends.

10 - General: No, don’t do that. PC: Cole, stop. Healer: Inquisitor? Your Worship, what are you doing here? Is this… man… with you? PC: Yes. Sorry to trouble you. Cole: How do I do it right, if I’ve done it wrong and I can’t make her forget?

Dialogue options:

General: Just talk to her, Cole. [14]

General: Apologize, Cole. [15]

General: It’s not your fault, healer. [16]

14 - General: Just talk to her, Cole. PC: Don’t root around inside her head. Treat her like a normal person. Healer: Your Worship, is there… do you need something of me? Cole: You were sad. Healer: Of course I was sad. A man died because I couldn’t save him. Cole: It wasn’t your fault. Cole: You could work until you fell over, and you still wouldn’t save everyone. Healer: Thank you for saying that. Excuse me, Your Worship. [17]

15 - General: Apologize, Cole. PC: You hurt her feelings, Cole. Just tell her you’re sorry. Cole: I’m sorry. You were sad. I wanted to help. Healer: You can’t help… not unless you can bring that soldier back from the dead. Cole: It wasn’t your fault. Cole: You could work until you fell over, and you still wouldn’t save everyone. Healer: Thank you for saying that. Excuse me, Your Worship. [17]

16 - General: It’s not your fault, healer. PC: I hear you’ve had some bad news. Healer: I’m sorry, Your Worship. It was my fault. I was tired, and I thought I could take a few minutes to rest… PC: You can’t save everyone. This wasn’t your fault. Healer: Yes, Your Worship. Thank you. [17]

17 - Scene continues.

She walks away.

Cole: She’s not better.

Dialogue options:

General: This isn’t about her. [18]

General: She will be. [19] +Cole slightly approves

18 - General: This isn’t about her. PC: What’s important is that you tried, and that you didn’t disappear when it didn’t work. Cole: I wanted to. She was hurting. PC: You did everything you could to help… just like she did. It wasn’t your fault. [20]

19 - General: She will be. PC: She needs time to work through it. Cole: If I’d done it right, it would have worked faster. PC: Then you have time to work through it, too. [20]

20 - Scene continues.

Cole: I don’t understand. But thank you for trying to help. Scene ends.

[siilvan]

random post, but shoutout to 12 y/o me who got MW3 from her aunt one day and played it, expecting just to shoot stuff and not get into it… she didn’t know she had daddy issues even after clinging to every commanding officer in the game (sandman and pudovkin <3), and i didn’t know until years later that i clung to this stupid ass trio.

my boys. my idiots. my loyalist commanders. my war criminals. 2/3 are dead. 2/3 were ugly. yuri had no less than four missiles shot at his feet. nikolai’s face changed every single game. kamarov lived for drama and nothing else.

i loved them for no reason other than “teehee older man that i can substitute for my lack of father/older male figure.” yuri was silent 80% of the game. nikolai was perfect. kamarov appeared just to die. i didn’t even play MW2 or watch gameplay of MW1 until 2022, but i clung to this trio nonetheless 😭 soap, price, and team metal, as well (sandman my first love), but these three… special place in my heart.

(MWIII pics used BTC)

AND WE OFFICIALLY HAVE ALL THREE OF THEM IN THE REBOOT LETS GOOOOOOO

*sobbing on floor*

listen. listen. this doesn’t matter to anyone but me. i know i chose the worst group to attach my daddy issues to. in my defense, i was 12 and didn’t even know i had ‘em. honestly, “daddy issues” makes it sound too cute, i was a kid when i started getting comfort from these guys… call it father problems or paternal predicaments 😭

i’m just. look. i know how i look to an outside audience. i know how my blog looks to someone who doesn’t know me well; but, i’m not just fawning over every russian character. these three specifically, *tapping glass that they’re encased in*, are special to me. if i attach to them and pretend like they’d love me (romantically or platonically), then i can feel the love that i’ve never gotten from a father or an older male figure.

this is just a nonsense ramble because i’m so sleep-deprived, but you don’t understand. my boys are back and better than ever. nikolai eats everyone up whenever he comes on-screen. yuri actually gets to have a full name and cutscenes outside of “dust to dust”. kamarov isn’t ugly (gene farber 🙏) and they’re all just AKEHDKRJWJDKFJE.

i love them. i love the comfort they give me. i know it’s odd for me to cling to this trio of all people, but i have. my boys. my dumbasses. the reboot did them right. now, i just need them all on-screen at the same time.

i want them to have a podcast. i’d listen to it.

[sennamybeloved]

marlene's tape recorders and journal added so much depth to her character. without them, she is so easy to misunderstand, so easy to paint as some awful villain who acted carelessly (or even cruelly). the show is flawed in a lot of ways but the fact that it made no effort to give marlene back any of the depth she was robbed, while largely insignificant side characters like bill and frank got an entire full length movie dedicated to them, is fucking criminal. i love bill and frank this is not me saying that episode is bad it is lovely BUT. marlene is the main antagonist, she deserves something like that way more than they did. for a show that allegedly wants to humanize all of it's characters they sure as hell put no effort into humanizing one of the most humanizable characters in the entire fucking franchise.

marlene is not a terrible person by any stretch of the imagination. i wouldn't even call her a villain. joel is objectively worse than her. however, that objective standpoint is NOT what the last of us is about! it's about humanity, and joel's drive to protect ellie is so much more relatable and so much more human than anything that was going on with the fireflies. that is what made the game so impactful. we, the players, are parents, friends, children, lovers, who would do anything to protect those we hold dear, even if that means sacrificing the world. boiling marlene down to a "villain" not only does her character a huge disservice, but completely undercuts the impact of the entire story, primarily joel's arc.

additionally, just because the fireflies as a whole were not super sympathetic or relatable, marlene herself absolutely was. an overworked leader and figurehead with the entire weight of the world on her shoulders being attacked from every angle at a war with her own mortality over protecting her dead best friend's child and saving the society she's been fighting for all these years. do you fuckers actually think she wanted to kill ellie? absolutely not. listen to her first tape recorder, watch the flashback cutscene from tlou2, fucking look at the way jerry fucking pressured her. fucking listen to how distressed she sounded when she was talking about it. if you read her journals she was literally out of her mind convincing herself she had done nothing but fail her people over and over and over again. this was her last shot to do something right. she knew for a fact that joel wouldn't be happy with her, but she hoped that he could sympathize with her, that he could understand how hard this was for both of them, two people who cared so much about ellie and what she represented for them. direct quote from her second tape recorder: "they asked me to kill the smuggler. i'm not about to kill the one man in this facility that might understand the weight of this choice. maybe he can forgive me."

does that not make anyone else feel sad? she spent her last hours hoping and praying and wishing for someone to see her as a person, to meet her eye-to-eye and tell her that they understand all she has done, and that she made the right choice. she's not perfect by my god people, she is not evil. everything she did was with pure intentions. i can fucking guarantee that if any of you were in her position, they would've made a similarly fucked-up choice, if not an even worse one.

it wasn't her fault, at least not entirely; i'd argue the scientists shoulder more blame than her. in that same damn tape recorder, she states that asking her for the go ahead to proceed with the surgery was more of a formality on their part, and that she really didn't have much of a choice. i don't think marlene had power in that hospital to begin with. she had not been there in over 10 years, the scientists had taken up leadership. she was the firefly's figurehead, someone that people could assign blame to. whatever actual control she had was left back in boston. the scientists were not her fucking soldiers or whatever. why would they listen to her? what was she gonna do, yell at them? tell the people she'd dragged across the country that actually she had a change of heart and this had all been for nothing so everyone can just leave now. no!! she would've been eaten alive!!! what else was she supposed to do? literally what else. someone tell me.

there is zero empathy for her in this fandom. it's not just the show fans, it's the game fans, too. i beg of you guys to read her journal and listen to her tape recorders and try to put yourself in her shoes and realize that she was in just as much pain as joel was when things came to a head. i know she's not your ultra hot rugged white man but come on you guys can be a little media literate. as a treat.

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[forevergazingatstars]

Today I did something I thought I would never do

I beat The Last of Us Part 2 on grounded mode.

I started playing this game in 2022, about 5 months after I had beaten the first game. Both of these games have always been very close to my heart even before I had the chance to play them.

While I know part 2 is not nearly as beloved in the community as part 1 and, in my honest opinion, I definitely prefer the story of part 1 to part 2. However, ever since I beat part 2 for the first time, I've found myself drawn to it time and time again. I've played through this game on at least 5 separate occasions and spent over 100 hours in it. To put it bluntly, this game feels so good to play.

Maybe going agaist the intentions of the game makers, but shooting people has never felt as good as it feels here. People usually say they hate shooting on controller, but Naughty Dog did a phenomenal job at making the gun play actually feel responsive and good. Like as much as the story makes me want to rip my hair out, there's nothing quite as satisfying as getting to blow peoples heads off afterwards.

Now to get to the point, you might be asking "why'd you say you thought you'd never beat grounded?" to put it in simple terms, I am a level A coward :D just the idea of having to go through this 20 hour game without listening mode terrified me. I do not like dying nor getting spooked by an enemy popping out of nowhere. Also I was convinced that if I ever did make it all the way to the rat king that that would be it and I would be stuck there forever.

Well, what ended up happening was that in April of this year I beat the game on permadeath, which meant I had every single other achievement in the game and I thought "FUCK IT I'M GIVING GROUNDED A TRY" and then I failed miserably.... I ended up not even making it to Abby's section, I got stuck in the mall fight on Ellie day 3 and I just got so incredibly frustrated that I quit.

However, then a couple months passed, and I did have one trick up my sleeve. My first attempt of grounded had been on the normal version, not grounded+. I had wanted to not beat the game on grounded+ just to prove to myself that I could do it without the extra help, but sometimes you have to admit that you need help so again I tried with all my great guns and upgrades.

I will say, my thing about being afraid of not having listening mode proved to not be that much of an issue. The main emotion I felt while playing was not fear, but pure frustration and rage. God this game is so ANNOYING. Like you'd think the gap between survivor and grounded wouldn't be that bad, but it felt like night and day. I kept getting stuck and dying and my main strategy just ended up being to run for my life :D I know grounded isnt even near the hardest gaming challenges and maybe it was just a skill issue but man did I spend hours in some fights not making any progress at all.

Now you might be thinking, what about the rat king? I am happy to say that I BEAT THAT FUCKER FIRST TRY. I wish so badly that I had gotten it on video, because I have never been that locked in during my entire life. It felt like I had become Abby in that moment and I was channeling all my rage into killing that thing. Actually, I struggled wayyyyy more with Ellies bloater fight than the rat king, which was very surprising considering it's the other way around usually.

When I had beaten Abby in the final fight and I was watching the last few cutscenes, I got a bit emotional and teary eyed, which honestly surprised me a lot considering how many times I've played this game. Even during my first playthrough I only cried during the beginning when Ellie was going through Joels home. Maybe I was just happy the suffering would finally be over? I mean I do relate to Ellie on the level that I've also lost my father. Maybe my emotions were heightened because of the struggle and the 6 month journey it took me to get here.

To end this extremely long post I'd just like to say that if you ever think you can't do something, just try it anyway. Even if you end up failing, it's important to challenge yourself and besides, you can always try again. I know beating a video game isnt the coolest thing in the world but I am so proud of myself for not giving up.

[chromaji]

psssst. Can you sell me on CoH real quick? Is it like Etrian Odyssey, is it a more standard dungeon crawler, or? I'm genuinely curious. (I mean I should just look it up, but I figure I'd just ask.)

Hmm... I'd say it's a more standard dungeon crawler, inspired by Wizardry which is commonly regarded as the great peepaw of dungeon crawlers. The game seems light on the story and it has a kind of "do what you want" progression.

Though my current stance on CoH1 is... strange. I like it! It's been keeping my interest! It's just definitely a game you're supposed to play though at a slower pace though, and I uhh I don't think I'm built for that while playing on PC, at least. I like to use turbo mode & play it while listening to or watching videos in the background.

I'd probably be having a slower and more chill time on actual hardware, which is good imo. Like how I do Etrian Odyssey sometimes. Something about playing a game like this on PC/Console vs Handheld is very different. The vibes, man...

I'll say that the character designs and wondering what other places and NPC designs will be like is what's making me play as often as I am. I'm also wondering what WILL happen in the story since, it may be light, but it's not some nonexistent thing. Also the fact that I got lucky and got a powerful weapon early on that's been letting me blaze through 90% of combat so far. ...And turbo mode. I'd probably be playing much slower if not for those.

Basically, it's definitely a game to take your time with. To get used to everything and play at your own pace. I realized while playing that this probably wouldn't be a fun game for me to stream or LP at all, especially playing for the first time, BUT that's not a bad thing!

Anyway, the character choices & class customization are cool! I actually have CoH2 and couldn't get into it back then, but I remember LOVING that every(?) race had a whole new design for just about every class in the game. After I finish 1, I'll check out 2 for sure.

Though I will say I'm not a fan of the lack of music in dungeons outside of the pause menu & cutscenes (I thought it was a ppsspp issue but. it is not. idk what they were cooking there. Old-school vibes I guess). I also don't like the crafting system and whatever tf the bosses in this game so far have been: a whole lotta NOTHING. I AM BREAKING MY SILENCE. ON THE CRAFTING ESPECIALLY🗣️🗣️🗣️

[yandere-flower]

Okay so I’m playing Story of Seasons right now and I love these games so I have to merge and make all the yanderes farming sim!bachelors and bachelorettes:

Desmond: He’s that bachelor that isn’t in town right away, and comes in a later month after working a case and is so aloof and suspicious of you and why you suddenly care about whatever dead relatives farm now. His friendship/love points fill up so slowly, you never know where the fuck he is to give him daily gifts and his first few scenes just seem mean but you can’t help but pursue him. His loved gifts are probably like coffee, S tier milk, and some hard as fuck recipe to make. He’s that guy who doesn’t have his own home and lives in the inn like a sad fuck. After you’re married he helps with feeding the animals.

Zara: She’s the out of towner, she didn’t grow up here but came out for some bizarre forced reason like “you can only get the best dyes with local ingredients!” and runs the tailors shop for you to buy outfits. She’s a bit high and mighty at first, and you’re romance involves making her fall in love with your small farming town. Likes expensive gifts like diamonds or dyed linens you made. I think she would help, but I don’t know what task she would do. Lives above her shop in a luxe modern style room.

Cliff: As I am writing this I am 100% certain my main inspiration for Cliff was Calvin from Animal Parade, because holy hell what a charismatic man who just oozes “lemme treat you princess” vibes. He’s the character who lives in the big house up the hill that’s nicer than everyone’s and his jovial when you first meet him. All his scenes with the other townsfolk are either “he’s so handsome and dreamy, I wonder if he’s single??” OR “I got stuck listening to him talk about is latest lecture please save me farmer”. Easy to befriend, he likes processed gifts like cheese, butter, and other things that require you to spend tons of time and money to unlock. Doesn’t help with anything but does buy you random items.

Ezra: I MEAN OBVIOUSLY THE TOWN BAKER/COOK! He’s the towns pride and joy, his parents never appreciated him or the town and moved away when he was a teen, but he came back and opened up a place, which everyone loves! He’s that sweet bachelor who also seems into you before you even get him to 1 heart, and he is always happy to see you! Lives in a back room of his cafe. Loved gifts involved anything cooked, or any quality ingredients, he’s probably the easiest to romance! Will cook you meals every day when you’re married. For some reason his “Do you want to have a baby” cutscene comes before anyone else....

Olive: She reminds me of Popuri from Friends of Mineral Town! She’s probably works at the registers at the ranch where you buy animals (she thinks they are cute but ew...dirty!), charmed by big city folks like Zara and talks about true love and adventure. She’s that wholesome girl next door romance where you sweep her off her feet and convince her to stay on a farm, but she does have a bit of a controlling streak insisting on dresses the cows up and “marketing” for the ranch. She lives at the ranch, I imagine the ranch owners are family friends who let her stay with them while she works. She probably loves made items like jewelry or desserts! She’ll also give you random items after marriage!

Margo: Mix Flora from A Wonderful life and Candace from Animal Parade and I imagine that would be a good Margo. She’s that awkward townsfolk who works the night shift at the local clinic, helping out with basic treatments while studying and doing her medical research. It’s so hard to build up her points as well, because you have to stay up late just to see her. She lives in a spare room at the clinic that is small but filled with specimen and papers. The towns doctor lives in another room and constantly asks you to watch over Margo. She’s awkward and barely speaks to you, but if you gift her weird stuff you find in the forest she gets excited. She forages random items to help out!

Sawyer: I honestly couldn’t think of how we could incorporate a gang member into Harvest Moon/SOS sooo...but then it hit me...his grandmom and dad! Maybe in this game, they adopted him and brought him to this peaceful town to give him a different life. I bet they run the general store, and when you first meet them they gush about “their sweet boy Sawyer whose so kind, he’s getting product from the big city but he’ll be here soon!” and you meet him and he looks like a punk, but he’s cheery and laughing and his scenes all involve him taking care of his grandmom and dad. He loves gifts that are weird, and when you’re married he takes care of the chickens (although he’s kind of a wild mess chasing after them)

Antonio: He’s the kind bratty bachelor, who lives with his dad in the big house and constantly talks about “getting away and truly living as an artist”...but he obviously loves this town and the people. He probably works part time at the carpenters as the designer options, as he paints the furniture options you have. He reveals in one romance scene that he started it when he was a kid to spite his dad and say he doesn’t need him, but secretly he kinda hates it and wishes he could just paint! Loves gifts that are pretty, likes flowers or linen or something, and his spouse task is he’ll gather wood or rock.

Mizu: He’s that weird fucking townsperson who shows up later as well because he didn’t realize there was a new person in town and he has just been a hermit for the first few months. Another character who doesn’t make a ton of sense being here, but he reveals he grew up here and found out he hated the big city and all the noise so he moved back for the quiet. He doesn’t have a job in town, and it takes a bit to raise his friendship enough to enter his home where he spends 90% of his time. I imagine he also has a room at the inn, but you aren’t able to go in it at all. All the townspeople whisper that they wish he’d come out more, but he is a bit rude at times....always stands in the back and alone at festivals. Likes gifts that aren’t nature related, and loves high quality eggs. He also doesn’t help much around the farm.

[fictionfixations]

this is the march event

*beep boop beep bop boop beep*

yes, hi, aven?? topaz? jade (...?) (yknow what its kinda crazy we know 3 stonehearts. i mean i dont think we know jade that well but man we have connections.)

can yall fire this dude. hes. genuinely so bad at his job. and gives the ipc a bad name. like seriously

is it legal to just bring mechs in a public area that are clearly very dangerous? he says its for his safety but i say its a threat. like theyre not doing anything but bruh its like he's walking around with some big ass gun out. or a chainsaw. like hello??? (idk if there are people in there but like. HELLO?? if they're bodyguards they dont need to be RIGHT THERE. because where were they before then??)

also oh my god

he doesnt want to look bad in front of clients. but that means his 'clients' are xianzhou people right?

and he just insulted xianzhou swordplay

also you literally got told to not do anything because street fighting is illegal, BY the. the the people in CHARGE OF the lAW

you ACKNOWLEDGE that there is a CLOUD KNIGHT right THERE

you were SPECIFICALLY WARNED

and

that doesnt sound very friendly does it

i swear theres genuinely like a law where youre not allowed to threaten people or something because it could be taken as.. something something???? ??? maybe im tripping and it was actually in regards to death threats but like ... d u d e why make excuses youre making urself sound so bad

are you dumb

im. genuinely so frustrated at thsi guy. i didnt think id still hate him BUT I DO oh my god. like. AT LEAST dont be an asshole where people who have the authority TO ARREST YOU ARE THERE like CMON???? HELLO??? at least make an attempt to pretend to be NOT THAT

let me get this straight

its ONE PERSON vs who knows how many mechs

i dont think thats fair. not to mention those mechs have probably been improved upon time and time again for years, meanwhile march will have only been improving for 15 days

also i have no fucking idea if there are people inside those mechs. b ut if there are. THEN THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE MECH FIGHTING HER. or its not fair. at all. not to mention its probably even more difficult because theres fuckin metal. armor. shit.

LMFAOOO HES NOT OVER IT. dude just let it go i feel embarrassed for you

PREACH

stop digging yourself into a deeper hole im begging you

no offense to the voice actor but genuinely its characters like these that i actually cant listen to their voice because i just. hate them. like the character NOT the va. because they're saying hurtful insulting things and im just like. if i want to actually read whats going on instead of skipping through it (as a person who has done it before and then stopped to read through the log) i genuinely have to mute because the way it infuriates me 😭 (the other time was like i think possessed fu xuan ? cant remember if that one was being super annoying or if i was just having a bad day and couldnt deal with it.)

anyway id like to think im partway through the wardance story so far but i have no idea. anyway i just realized i can do march event now. and also this is BEFORE wardance

and at the story im at like the day before the wardance so uhhh

i should be doing it cause its in order. also im procrastinating because im NOT ready to see everything that happened in the trailer because holy shit that was insane

ALSO because cutscenes keep lagging for me so its kinda irritating. theres videos already of just the cutscenes so im watching them from there because i genuinely cant tell wtf is happening since it freezes in game. which sucks cause i love watching cutscenes sfhdsuifhsf