#listen its about devotion and loyalty

[morthern]

What if we kissed on top of the shadow siege gas canisters? (and we were komandir and right hand man - unbending, unbreaking fire of your cause..)

(the warzone monologue got to me ok.)

[whackk-kermitt]

Confessing Your Love

Genre: Headconons

Warnings: Cursing(Brok..)

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Kratos

“Hmm,” followed by a slow nod.

He wouldn't say anything immediately.

He will just kind of look at you, studying your eyes.

He doesn't want to take chances.

Man has trust issues!

Telling him you love him will make him so happy yet so scared.

You wouldn't be able to tell.

Eventually you'd hear, “I love you, as well.”

He'd immediately ask you to move your things to his home if you haven't already.

He loves you, so you need to stay close so he can protect and provide for you!

He'd start to find more excuses to touch you and you'd laugh telling him he doesn't need them.

Eventually, he will be comfortable enough to walk up to you just for an embrace or smooch.

Mimir

Before his head got..you know.. His first instinct you be to turn to you completely.

“Really, Las? An old man like me?” He'd laugh but he'd offer to do something romantic.

Smartest man alive, but he never saw that coming.

Either way he’d swear his loyalty and heart to you.

Anything you want, he's on it.

After his head…

He'd probably hesitate to return the sentiment, no matter how genuine it is.

“I- I can't offer you much, Las.” He’d frown.

He'd feel inadequate, and undeserving- he's just a head after all!

What could he give you in terms of love and affection?

After telling him his company is all you desire then he'd probably think you've gone mad.

But after a while of talking about it he'd smile and say it back.

You'd carry his head on your belt during travels throughout the realms after.

Giving him kisses on his cheeks and forehead.

It's simple and innocent devotion and its loves that he's enough for you.

Atreus

Telling Arteus you've got a crush on him would probably make him completely freeze and go red.

I'm talking his fathers tattoo red!

Lots of stuttering and blushing while you guys talked about it.

He wouldn't really know what to do or say afterwards.

But no doubt he'd eventually be able to get it out that he likes you too.

He's never done any of this before, so he'd probably go to Mimir or Freya for advice.

If and when you ever hold his hand or hug him his palms get sweaty and he gets nervous.

But he's happy to oblige!

He thinks your so cute.

Talks to his dad about it.

He's shy, but after a while of spending more time hanging out with you he’d get cocky and try to show off and impress you more.

Half of the time he’ll be trying so hard he just ends up looking silly or just straight up stupid.

But you laugh it off and tell him how cute and sweet he is.

He's whipped.

Freya

No matter how comfortable she is around you, no matter how safe you make her feel, she'll hesitate.

As soon as you tell her you're in love with her, she'll need room away from you.

In every relationship so far, she's been to much or not enough.

The woman is hurt and healing.

She's scared its not the truth, like with Odin.

Or if it is, and you truly love her, then what if she messes it up?

What is her love is to much for you and you leave her?

Or what if, out of fear of being too much, she’s not enough- and you leave her? 

Freya can't take another heartbreak.

But after seeing how understanding you are of her past, and reassuring her worries that you're not going anywhere she's willing to listen.

You'd tell her that it doesn't matter if she loves you the same way, or another, as long as your with her its enough for you.

And hearing that would be enough for her.

You'd have to take things slowand steady with her.

But she is so very much in love with you.

She will make sure you both set boundaries to keep her from going to far and pushing you away.

She doesn't wanna lose you too.

Brok

“Well it's about fucking time!”

He's so cool and sure of himself on the outside, so he'll play it off like he know you loved him.

But really he's surprised.

He's not the most romantic man, but he'll give it an honest try for your sake.

He’ll get flowers and sweets for his lady.

Most definitely start bringing about you to everyone he meets every chance he gets.

He's very standoffish when it comes to affection.

So any time you give it to him he'll stutter just slightly and awkwardly reciprocate it while he gets used to someone being infatuated with him.

Very defensive and protective is anyone makes comments about you two.

“Mind your business, you unfuckable drauger-looking bastard!” 

Very confident on the outside, very unsure on the inside.

He's worried he's not doing it right but all he needs is you smiling at him the way you do and he'll be just fine. 

Sindri

Congratulations, you broke him.

His initial reaction is giving O.O

Wide eyes, red cheeks, mouth open.

He'd stutter for a response and get frustrated with himself for losing his voice for a moment.

Give him some time and words will just start spilling out.

He loves you, that was no secret to anyone!

He’ll tell you all about it when the air come back into his lungs.

He’ll go on and on about how pretty you are, and amazing, and how much he likes your smile.

Lots of nervous chuckles and shy grins from this man.

He hates when people touch him, sorry to say you're no exception.

But you figured you wouldnt be; at least for now.

However he is willing to hook his pink finger to yours every now and then as a very small step in the direction of hugging you.

Having you love him really makes him frustrated with his thing with germs and dirt.

He’s never had a problem with it before.

But now he wants to hold you and be held by you and the thought of it makes him shiver in disgust.

It's a fear he's willing to conquer if it means one day he'll get to see the smile on your face when he holds you with out gagging for the first time.

You know better then to take offense; it's nothing personal.

He gags at everyone. 

Tyr

He didn't see it coming.

But he had hoped..

It was a happy surprise when you blurted it out while spending time with him while reading.

He gave you a soft smile after the shock settled and returned the sentiment .

Not much had to be said between you two after that.

The only thing that really changed in the relationship were beginning to sit closer together and a lot more gentle touches.

He'd rest against you while you braid his hair, and he'll braid yours.

His eyes have always laid on you softly, but there's something more in them when he looks at you now.

Contentment.

He’s happy to share any moment a with you that he can. 

Heimdal

He knew.

He knew you loved him for a while.

He knew you wanted to say it.

The cooky little shit just waited and waited until you did.

He wanted to hear it.

But when you approached him and said you loved him it felt different then he imagined it would.

He knew you, and he saw in your head that you truly meant it.

He knew you loved the good, the bad, and the ugly in him.

He knew that unlike the other people who have claimed to love him, you didn't think ‘i can change him.’

He saw the unsure insecurities in your head and body language that he wouldn't feel the same way.

After all, he reads minds, and he knew what you felt all this time and never addressed it so clearly he wasn't interested, right?

To be honest, up until that point he hadn't really considered your feelings despite knowing them.

You had told him you loved him, but you had only said it so he would tell you what you believed he would- that he doesn't care.

You had only said it so he could break your heart, and you could get closure, and hopefully move on.

It twisted his gut that you were walking into this fully believing you would be turned away.

He saw in your head that you had already been crying over it.

But that's not what he wanted, so instead being sarcastic or rude like he would be with literally anyone else he smiled at you.

“I know.” He said softly.

Thor

“Good for you.”

He's not really interested.

Plus he's still married.

So piss off.

Not proof read.

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

Spirit Work II

Spiritual Imposters

Before committing yourself to a deity or spirit one must communicate by learning about the entity in question, making certain they are who they say they are. Discovery of a spirit you thought you were working with is something else that leaves one feeling betrayed, upset, and oftentimes empty. Knowing the signs can really help discern things.

Mental Sock Puppets

A mental sock puppet is the result of talking to yourself and concluding self-talks as something else. The ego talks, you listen to yourself. Not a spirit. Or you establish contact but are incredibly biased hearing your thoughts. Not theirs.

It acts in accordance to your expectations.

You received no new information.

It’s only as knowledgeable as you are.

It only abides by your will. No one else.

It gives no signs unless you’re looking for them.

These are easy to get rid of if you identify the problem, recognize the problem, and let the narrative and ego go. No one needs to hear it. No one wants too either. You only end up hurting yourself and other people if things get too out of hand.

Lying Spirits

Some spirits are opportunists. They can portray an illusion pretending to be someone they’re not in order to gain loyalty and trust. They can take the form of a deity, guide, companion, or anything else that you would be most receptive to. This is why it’s good to know the basics to energy work and magick. Remember to learn different energies and how they feel to you. Remember to analyze the situation, yourself, the spirit, the environment, and working before proceeding forward. A lot of these malevolent entities like to feed off you or cause more drama that’s not necessarily needed.

Spirit Work and Continued Relationships

Veneration and Practice

This is about worshipping the deities or spirits you work with and highly depends on your practices and influences you choose to use and construct.

Most times there will be an altar setup or shrine dedicated to these spirits. Offerings of food, drink, incense, and trinkets would be a way of showing your dedication and interests of the spirits. There are other forms of interaction I have seen before.

Connection through art, music, nature, and meditation are just some of these other mediums. You don’t have to make this complex, and sometimes people have busy schedules making veneration hard to come by.

Try to keep things simple and remember it’s always okay to take a break due to circumstances. Spirits understand life comes first.

Patrons and Matrons

A Patron and Matron are deities that a devotee has a connection to. Its beyond standard devotional relations and is the main contact point for guidance and protection. It’s important to recognize that these types of relationships are built. They are not assigned.

Wicca is known for the patron and matron concept where duo theistic practices entail encouraging practitioners to seek out two divinities. The patron and matron would represent the divine masculine and divine feminine.

This is not a requirement in most practices, but in Wicca it is recognized in many circles.

Fallow Times

There are times where communication between you and the spirits can be difficult, and that’s okay. It happens with everyone. It doesn’t mean a spirit has left or that you’ve lost your ability to communicate. This feeling is temporary, and it’s a reminder that whenever this does happen, you need to take care of yourself first. Get the rest you deserve and try again later. Remember, this is normal due to circumstances – including stress, environmental factors, and any sort of disturbances one may have.

Oaths and Vows

There are many reasons why an individual would take an oath and vow. That’s between the practitioner and the spirit. This promise can come about for many different reasons, and even sometimes at the request of the spirit. However, this isn’t required if you are just working with them. It doesn’t mean control or status either. You can’t parade this around to get your way in certain situations. It doesn’t look good or help. Be aware of that. Remember why you did this, and what does it mean for you. That’s the most important part.

Displeasing Spirits

Those that are new to Spirit Work sometimes worry about displeasing the spirits. Repeat after me, deities and spirits who choose to work with you won’t get mad at you for being a human.

They will know there will be shortcomings, quirks, and variations.

You have NO obligation to listen to ANY person on this subject otherwise.

IF you do upset a spirit or make it angry question yourself as to why. Remember, communication is the key, and sometimes frictions can happen.

IF the behavior seems off and out of place, you may be dealing with an imposter. Check your sources and confirmation methods before determining the circumstances.

[evangelinesbible]

SYNASTRY I WANT TO EXPERIENCE

I made a quick about how I wanted two specific synastry placements to happen to me and I figured I might as well make a post about all the synastry placements I really want to experience at some point. who knows maybe me just typing it out and posting it will get me exactly what I ask for

OVERLAYS

(these can go with either placements in my house or vise versa)

VENUS 1H

Mannnnn I just want someone to look at me and be like yeah that’s my type right there. But this placement doesn’t also have to be about physical appearance. Their mannerisms, their personality and how they present themselves to others match with your values and what you want in a partner.

MARS 2H

Maybe it’s cuz I’m a Taurus mars but by what I’ve heard about mars in 2H synastry I like the vibes. Working towards stability and being very sensual with your partner. Both partners can be very patient and slow to anger each other but the main downside would probably be holding grudges/ being petty with other when mad.

MARS/EROS/ 8H

I just want to feel intensely desired and yes I know that 8H overlays can be rough but listen most people in my life have their Pluto conjunct my moon and my chart ruler is the 8H so I might be a-ok than most people with this intense placement(s)

JUNO 1H

Technically I’ve had this before but I want it again and this time I want it to be mutual “love at first sight” vibe. And again this placement can be more than just a physical thing. its not just your ideal type you feel that this person is your ideal PERSON. you see each other as equals in partnership. and you can imagine marrying them.

JUNO 7H

I mean this ones pretty self explanatory. you'll want to marry this person for sure at some point or you at least think about it a lot. The romantic connection is there, it's so strong. And I just want to feel what that's like. (I aint getting married anytime soon tho. girl I'm 18)

DESTINN 6H

In my humble onion (that's a typo but Im not changing it) I think this can mean being destined to have everyday life with each other. Doing daily routines and having a groove and flow with your partner. I like that.

NATAL OR COMPOSITE

JUNO CONJ. VENUS

Love, devotion, all the feels. By what I've read there's so much loyalty and love between each other. The commitment is so strong. And typically Venus rules over love and Juno rules over marriage. so marriage indicator.

JUNO CONJ. JUPITER

Another for sure marriage indicator. Jupiter ruling over the husband and Juno being about marriage is so fitting as well. Perfect match. they influence and inspire each other.

JUPITER CONJ. MOON

So much affection, bliss, and joy in this. Cozy and content. You open each others mind and want to travel not only the world together but your emotions. theres potentially to overindulge in each other but a mature couple will figure out their boundaries and communicate them well with each other. nonetheless I would die for this placement. This is THE marriage placement imo because Moon = Wife and Jupiter = Husband.

JUPITER CONJ. VENUS

The abundance of love. The freedom Venus feels with Jupiter and the endless compassion the Venus makes an abundance of love.

COMPOSITE

LIBRA IN BIG 3/VENUS

Pretty sure this is also a sign of marriage. Usually balance in love. Just in ideal placement(s) to have in composite.

CANCER IN BIG 3/VENUS

I've talked about why I like composite cancer ring but honestly I'm fine with any of these placements being cancer. I want to feel like I've found someone who feels like home and quite literally build a home with someone.

TAURUS IN BIG 3/VENUS

I need stability in my life... that and its another Venus ruled sign and that’s always good for a composite chart.

12H SUN

Hear me out now 😭✋ I’ve technically experienced this one too but it never turned into an actual relationship and I saw him more as a quick fling. This placement isn’t bad cuz it’s in the 12H. I feel like with the right person it can still be challenging but also quite beautiful. Maybe this is my Pisces self wanting a deep soulful and spiritual connection with someone special. I mean I don’t mind regular 12H synastry so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Have you had any of these aspects/placements? What was your experience? 💋

-⚜️💫⚜️

[starzzmissthesun]

Hey guys, I feel the need to go into more depth about a post I made a while ago because I feel like some of y'all didn't get what I meant, and I see so many takes just like what I'm about to talk of. Ok, so I've been seeing lots of posts recently about bartylus being one of three things; fwb who don't actually have feelings for each other, being ex's, or 'the third thing'. I mean if you believe these things, no hate or anything to you, to each their own, but just listen to what my perspective is of this. I'm mainly making this post because most of the things I see in the bartylus tag are from the POV of those three things, it's annoying to see when there are people who actually ship them.

So for one, I really don't think they could have that romance and the physical aspect without having any feelings for eachother. I mean, think about it. They are truly best friends to no end, they love and see eachother different than everyone else. This is true in SO MANY fics and takes on them, no matter who they're paired with. They already act like an old married couple, so they would eventually catch feelings (if not already). I understand lots of people say that they could, just because its more of a trauma bond and being with someone you trust. I agree that they have been through a lot together and trust each other more than anyone, but I also think that it would turn into something more. Being so close would definitely make it hard to separate and see the line between their physical relation and how they feel for each other.

And my next point, which was what my og post was about, they couldnt be exes, especially if they were in love. The first thing is that they DO love eachother, you wouldn't date your BEST FRIEND if you weren't. I mean really, those two loved their other friends, they knew what it was like to love a friend platonically. If you are so used to being punished and criticized, you would have to be very aware of how you feel about people/recognizing the differences(this goes for both of them). Especially when you think about the social repercussions of them being gay in families like that, but also the way their families are so opposite that they would probably get in trouble for even being friends. They loved eachother a lot and would not just, get over each other. When you have something so special like that and remain best friends, its hard to fall out of love, especially if its not that long from them stopping that they get with other people. What even would change about them other than who they kiss? I feel like every time they were with their respective partners they would catch each others eyes every once in a while and think this is wrong. The kind of love they would have for each other (even if you believe this platonically) would be made of devotion and loyalty and reverence. They couldn't just get over each other, where would all of those feelings go? They just disapear? They turn platonic? No, they would stay, something so intense wouldnt just go away. What could they want that they couldn't find in each other? I mean back to the whole it being nothing more than the m being secret and because they trusted each other, i mean doesn't that just speak to the love they have for each other, which brings me to the point of them unable to be The Third ThingTM.

The third thing is the trope people use for tragic characters that were never just friends, but never quite romanitc. But the thing is, they both could never be casual about eachother, they hold each other so close and so sweetly, especially as a first (last and only) love, they would never let go. @dolcevitaaa26 made a post about this, and also said a big part of the trope is that the reason it's not quite romantic is because it's not enough, there's something missing. But, like i said, what could be missing/not enough in a relationship that is built upon true understanding and acceptance? They couldn't be vague, not with that person SO IMORTANT that theyd keep in their lives forever. And they would, if they didn't have each other theyd never stop thinking about each other. Even if they were Just Friends, they are each other's Person in every aspect. They understand each other in a way no one else could. How could you lose that person? How could you not hold them so close to your chest that you merge, that you are one? They are inseparable, it is indistinguishable where one begins and the other ends. They are definitely unique and different from what anyone else has, but in a way that would be perfect for eachother, it would be romantic if anything.

I mean all of these things given, especially the fact of being something so perfect for eachother, would be put before anyone else. If youre going to have them have exes within your ship, because at th end of the day ship what you want to, don't have it be with eachother. I just say that because the implications of that feel the same way of people making james date lily after reg dies, reg and barty wouldn't get over eachother. It's fine if you see them as totally platonic, but make them platonic, because they are not casual people, they couldn't be in between for each other. And do you reall want your ship to have one of them still loving another? Just some food for thouhgt. I could say more, but this is already too nonsensical and long.

[teisubrainrot]

All the main Daigo ships can comfortably fit simultaneously at the same timeline over the years and it’s beautiful (Yakuza Spoilers)

ShinaDai: high schooler realizes he’s gay (TM) and has a secret crush on the only classmate that treats him fairly and friendly, does a silly little academic sacrifice for him. Then never really forgets him and seeks him out years later (Limbo between Y0-Y1 and Y5)

MasaDai (yes its main, fight me): majorly pissed 20something year old emo punk old outta juvie meets another majorly pissed 20something year old emo goth and manages to rizz his insecure ass with natural charisma and being fair and nonjudgmental towards anyone, and they hate their dads (multiple) and listen to Pierce the Veil together or sth idk. Masato abruptly ends contact after the New Year Accident and resurfaces years later as a damn politician with a wrongly placed hate towards all yakuza (Kiryu-in-prison-limbo and Y7)

RyuDai: not really deep feelings but more like ‘oh god this fucking guy I hate him so much I can’t stop thinking about him and his huge tits’. Literally ‘I’m both intimidated and aroused’ when fighting the damn dragon. Big confused someone help his gay ass (Y2)

MineDai: quite frankly needs no explanation, but ye, undersocialized man with fucked up philosophy on life meets someone who’s… nice to him? doesn’t want anything from him? their interactions are not transactions?? GOD OF A MAN I’LL DEVOTE MY LIFE TO YOU. Meanwhile Daigo, being just over 30 years old and placed in a very stressful position almost all alone becomes smitten with this awkward dude that’s like the only person his age he can be close to in this hellhole. Textbook example of skinny love as Daigo probably kept overthinking what if he mistakes just platonic feels and loyalty for romantic affection and quite frankly wonders if a Chairman should date a subordinate. Mine probably didn’t even realize what he was feeling was love until near the end of the game or/and didn’t even attempt to make a move because he considered what he was already getting from Daigo to be more than he deserves anyway. Then cue the shooting and the rest is history yadda yadda (Y3)

all canon trust me

[1pcii]

YESSS, Luffy as a religious image is such a cool motif for him, when I first got into one piece he gave me strong swk vibes and it sool cool that from day one he was inspired by the trickster god himself. (And obviously, sun god Nika/gear 5 Luffy, chefs kiss)

And yea!!! zoro as a non-religious person finding something to believe in is, so good. there is just something so beautiful about a non-religious character finding religion in another because what they tend to lack from traditional religion is and actual presence, a physical outreached hand to latch onto, reciprocation in their worship. Luffy loves zoro back SO MUCH and he is a constant by his side even when he becomes this larger than life sun-god, even while zoro is the fabled 'demon pirate hunter' or 'king of hell'. They're both a little selfish and codependent, zoro dedicating his life to being by his side and Luffy refusing to let go being he is his. It's so endlessly endearing.

You're so right 😫 it's a downright shame people don't look more into their dynamic. They are like the narusasu of one piece (but better imo) yet they're so slept on :')

Hopefully their chemistry continues developing in OPLA I feel like it's done so much for us (it brough me here after all XD) and will continue to bring more shipper's into our neich.

I feel like Kiltro songs are made for pirates, for Zolu or for One Piece, directly. I’ve never heard of other songs that were as good as their songs, they have me head over heels listening to their songs 7/24 thinking about the seas and One Piece and Zolu. And don’t even get me to Mi Capitán and Curicó. They’re all soo good.

[nightmareofthelake]

my podcasts

everyone who follows me is aware that I'm really into The Magnus Archives/Protocol but I never really talk about my other favourits.

So I decided to make a list of all the podcasts I currently listen to.

The Magnus Archives/The Magnus Protocol

this one does not need any introductions. I love the statements. I love the characters. I love everything about it 10/10

woe.begone ( @woebegonepod )

In a search for an interesting ARG, Mike Walters accidentally stumbles into a brutal real life game, known online as WOE.BEGONE. What begins as an exploration of the game turns into a search for the powerful technology that makes the game possible.

I started it this week and I'm in love with it. As someone who was really into ARGs a few years ago, this podcast really scratches a specific itch I didn't know I had. Also, the music is so good! Absolutely in love with it!

The Holmwood Foundation ( @theholmwoodfoundation )

A modern day sequel to the gothic novel Dracula, we follow Maddie Townsend (Rebecca Root) and Jeremy Larkin (Seán Carlsen), two co-workers at the Holmwood Foundation: a secret organisation that has been maintaining and studying the remains of Count Dracula over the last 130 years, as they are possessed by the ghosts of Jonathan and Mina Harker, and embark on a road trip across the country in an effort to achieve their ghost's wishes: stop Dracula once and for all. This is a story about identity and self discovery, family loyalty and devotion, all wrapped around a nightmare of a road trip with a rejuvenating severed head, incredibly sincere Victorian ghosts and an analogue recorder.

Only the pilot is currently out and the Kickstarter just started but I'm already in love with the characters thanks to the very active tumblr page. The pilot only deepened my love for them.

Malevolent

Arkham Private Investigator Arthur Lester wakes up with no memory of who he is or what has happened, only a nameless, eerie voice guiding him through the darkness. Blind, terrified, and confused, his journey will lead him towards a series of mysteries in the hopes of understanding the truth of what has transpired. As cosmic horrors seep into the world around, Arthur must ask himself whether this entity truly seeks to help him, or are its intentions more…

Harlan Guthrie is just amazing. His performances as literally every character is amazing. I really need to catch up.

The Gentleman from Hell

An entire town… gone. Without a trace. No signs, no warnings. Just silence. This is the story of Cold Sparrow. Twenty-four years ago, the peaceful town of Cold Sparrow became the center of one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in modern history. Every resident vanished. Among them, the enigmatic billionaire Benjamin Veers, whose strange ways made him an icon of intrigue. The town, once forgotten, now infamous. The questions? Endless. The answers? Nonexistent. For over two decades, investigators have been left baffled—cults, kidnappings, disappearances—none have led them closer to the truth. But now, three celebrated private investigators—famous for bringing down one of the most dangerous cults in history—have been called upon to tackle this mystery. Known for taking on the cases no one else could solve, they’re determined to uncover what really happened in Cold Sparrow. Yet, the deeper they dig, the darker the whispers become. Rumours swirl of something far more sinister than anyone ever imagined. Could the mystery of Cold Sparrow be tied to forces that reach far beyond our world? Could it be linked to something… infernal? Some mysteries, once uncovered, may be better left untouched. Cold Sparrow: A town that disappeared… but something still lingers in the shadows. The investigation begins… now.

Only a handful of episodes are out and they are all between 20 and 30 minutes long. The sound design is amazing. Love the characters so far and the story is really intriguing. Can't wait to see how the story unfolds.

Englewood After Dark ( @englewoodafterdark )

Englewood After Dark is a horror/drama podcast following the adventures of Finn Nightingale and Eve Pemberly as they uncover the many secrets lurking on the haunted campus of Englewood University.

As of right now only two episodes are out and I can't really say much about the plot but I like the characters enough to tune in every week. There are some hints about how the story might progress and I can't wait to be front-row witness of it's evolution.

This Paranormal Life

Every Tuesday, comedians Rory Powers and Kit Grier investigate a different paranormal case and find the truth inside the mystery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

currently the only non-fiction podcast I listen to. I'm still trying to catch up (currently on episode 250 of almost 400) while also listening to every new episode on spotify and everything currently on patreon. Also, my favorite show to fall asleep to.

Podcasts I'm currently not actively listening too but still want to mention:

The Edge of Sleep

When a night watchman finishes his shift at work, he is terrified to discover that everyone in the world who went to sleep the previous night has died.

The podcast that made me fall in love with audio dramas. It's not perfect but I still like and can't wait for season 2 to finally come out (if it ever comes out). Also Mark has such nice voice it's almost criminal.

Welcome to Night Vale

WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE is a twice-monthly podcast in the style of community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, featuring local weather, news, announcements from the Sheriff's Secret Police, mysterious lights in the night sky, dark hooded figures with unknowable powers, and cultural events. Turn on your radio and hide.

It's just an ongoing on-off relationship between me and this podcast. I love it don't get me wrong but sometimes I just need a break from it. Also I still need to read the novels that have been collecting dust since last year

(the list might get longer over time since I have a shit tone of podcasts I still have to try and some others I might give another try. I will reblog it once I add something new)

[olrastrologytarot]

Cancer 🦀

Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, spans from June 21 to July 22. Ruled by the Moon, which governs emotions, intuition, and nurturing, Cancer is a water sign known for its deep emotional sensitivity, strong sense of loyalty, and protective nature. Represented by the Crab, Cancer embodies a complex personality that is both caring and cautious, with a deep connection to home and family. Here’s an in-depth look at the Cancer personality:

1. Emotionally Intuitive

Deep Sensitivity: Cancer individuals are highly sensitive and attuned to their own emotions as well as the emotions of others. They feel things deeply and are often affected by the moods and energies around them. This sensitivity can be both a strength, allowing them to connect with others on a profound level, and a challenge, as they may easily become overwhelmed by negative emotions.

Empathetic and Compassionate: Cancers are naturally empathetic, often putting themselves in others’ shoes. They have a strong desire to nurture and care for those they love, offering a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Their compassion makes them excellent friends, partners, and caregivers.

2. Nurturing and Protective

Caring Nature: One of the most defining traits of a Cancer is their nurturing nature. They are often the caregivers in their relationships, going out of their way to make sure their loved ones are comfortable and happy. Whether it’s through cooking a meal, offering advice, or simply being there, Cancers show their love through acts of care and kindness.

Protective Instincts: Cancers are fiercely protective of those they care about. Like the Crab, they have a tough exterior that they use to shield themselves and their loved ones from harm. This protective nature extends to their home, which they see as a sanctuary where they can retreat from the world.

3. Strong Family and Home Orientation

Family-Centered: Family is of utmost importance to Cancer individuals. They are deeply connected to their roots and often place a high value on traditions, family gatherings, and maintaining close ties with relatives. Cancers are the ones who remember birthdays, organize family reunions, and keep the family bond strong.

Home as a Sanctuary: For Cancer, home is not just a place but a feeling of safety, comfort, and belonging. They take great pride in creating a cozy, welcoming environment where they and their loved ones can feel secure. Their home is often a reflection of their personality, filled with sentimental items and memories.

4. Intuitive and Psychic Abilities

Highly Intuitive: Cancer is one of the most intuitive signs of the zodiac. They have a strong gut instinct and can often sense things before they happen. This intuition helps them navigate relationships and situations, often guiding them to make decisions based on their feelings rather than logic.

Psychic Sensitivity: Many Cancers possess a natural psychic ability, whether they realize it or not. They might experience vivid dreams, strong hunches, or an uncanny ability to sense the emotions of others. This psychic sensitivity can make them excellent counselors, healers, or spiritual guides.

5. Loyal and Devoted

Unwavering Loyalty: Cancers are deeply loyal to those they care about. Once they form a bond with someone, they are committed for the long haul. They value trust and expect the same level of loyalty in return. This devotion makes them reliable friends and partners who can be counted on in times of need.

Supportive and Encouraging: Cancers are known for their ability to support and uplift others. They are often the cheerleaders of their social circle, offering encouragement and reassurance to those who need it. Their loyalty extends to standing by their loved ones, even in difficult times.

6. Protective and Cautious

Defensive Nature: Just as the Crab has a hard shell, Cancers often put up emotional defenses to protect themselves from being hurt. They can be cautious and reserved, especially when meeting new people or entering unfamiliar situations. This protective nature can sometimes come across as aloof or distant, but it’s simply a way for them to safeguard their emotions.

Fear of Rejection: Due to their sensitive nature, Cancers are deeply afraid of rejection or betrayal. They may be slow to open up or trust others fully, preferring to take their time to build relationships. Once they feel secure, however, they become deeply devoted and loving companions.

7. Moody and Changeable

Emotional Swings: Ruled by the Moon, Cancer’s emotions can be as changeable as the lunar phases. They may experience mood swings, ranging from being cheerful and outgoing one moment to withdrawn and melancholic the next. These shifts in mood can be challenging for both Cancer and those around them, but they are often a reflection of their deep emotional processing.

Cyclical Nature: Cancers often go through emotional cycles, where they retreat into themselves to reflect and recharge. During these periods, they may need time alone to process their feelings and regain their emotional balance. Understanding and respecting this cyclical nature is key to maintaining harmony in relationships with Cancer individuals.

8. Creative and Imaginative

Artistic Talents: Cancers are often drawn to creative pursuits as a way to express their rich inner world. Whether through art, music, writing, or cooking, they have a natural ability to create beauty and evoke emotion. Their creativity is deeply connected to their emotions, allowing them to produce work that is both meaningful and impactful.

Imaginative Minds: Cancers possess a vivid imagination and often find themselves daydreaming or fantasizing about different possibilities. This imaginative quality can make them great storytellers, artists, or even entrepreneurs, as they are able to envision and bring to life ideas that others might overlook.

9. Sentimental and Nostalgic

Cherishes Memories: Cancer individuals are deeply sentimental and often hold onto things that have emotional significance, such as old photographs, letters, or family heirlooms. They cherish memories and are likely to revisit them often, finding comfort and joy in the past.

Nostalgic: Cancers have a strong connection to the past and may find themselves reminiscing about “the good old days.” This nostalgia can bring them happiness but can also make them reluctant to let go of the past or move on from situations that no longer serve them.

10. Financially Savvy and Security-Oriented

Focus on Security: Security, both emotional and financial, is crucial for Cancer. They are often cautious with money and may prioritize saving and planning for the future. This focus on security stems from their desire to create a stable environment for themselves and their loved ones.

Resourceful and Practical: While they may be emotionally driven, Cancers are also practical and resourceful when it comes to managing their finances. They are good at finding ways to stretch a budget or make the most of their resources, ensuring that their home and family are well taken care of.

Conclusion:

Cancer individuals are deeply emotional, intuitive, and nurturing, with a strong connection to home, family, and tradition. Their protective nature, loyalty, and compassion make them devoted friends, partners, and caregivers. However, their sensitivity and tendency toward moodiness can sometimes lead to emotional challenges, such as fear of rejection or difficulty letting go of the past. Despite these complexities, Cancers bring a wealth of creativity, imagination, and emotional depth to their relationships and endeavors, making them one of the most caring and empathetic signs of the zodiac.

[stardustdiiving]

What popular familial headcanons do you not like? If you're willing to share, of course

This post was specifically about parent / child interpretations of Zhongli & Xiao and Nahida & Wanderer ! which r my favorite genshin character dynamics and also involve my two category 5 genshin blorbos . Like obvious disclaimer I don’t have a problem with people liking said hcs but I have kind of a bad grudge against both bc I’m a bit polarized out of people just Really Really insisting on them whenever I talk / make fanworks about the characters ☹️ along with just really not liking the characterizations attached to both dynamics esp in how they handle Xiao & Nahida

Elaborating on both for fun & how I like to characterize them under the cut

I like Zhongli & Xiao as a form of character study where you kind of lean into the god/follower power dynamic and the way Xiao’s idea of duty/devotion blends with his internalized dehumanization. The idea is Xiao gives Zhongli a lot of power over him bc he wants to be devoted to Zhongli as a weapon more than a person while Zhongli is, used to being in a position of power but trying to navigate around this bc he wants Xiao to learn to exist outside suffering

Its not a very actively destructive dynamic for either of them but it’s kind of challenging Xiao’s dehumanization of himself and willingness to die/suffer for Zhongli out of a deeply engrained loyalty and devotion to him. I like zhongxiao (their ship) in the sense I think it can be fun to throw in very unbalanced complicated romantic feelings into this for added drama/ambiguity because I had my brain chemistry rewired by Pearl & Rose from Steven Universe when I was 11. I was so captivated by the idea of Pearl having such an intimate and tragic and self destructive devotion towards another woman it single handedly made me comphrend the fact I could gay

I’m just really not into the father/son portrayal bc I feel it’s just really awkward and weird to do any of the complicated emotional introspection or w/e I’m interested in doing w the dynamic through that lens. Also there’s only so many times u can draw zhongxiao and have people insist on interpreting it as father/son (?????? Soemtimes even while acknowledging i specific my work as romantic omg) before you just get kind of uncomfortable with it….im not a fan of the characterizations either…I feel ppl infantilize xiao a lot and EURFH idk it just makes me uncomfortable to think about bc of how I view the characters personally yk

Nahida & Wanderer I do enjoy exclusively platonically / even as found family, but I am a rare case of being a Nahida fan over a Scaramouche fan so it doesn’t do much for me when Nahida is reduced to being his mom/therapist/etc especially when a big reason I love hat radish is the way both characters compliment each other and make the dynamic a fun ground for mutual character study

I specifically don’t like her as a maternal figure because well. Nahida is a 500 year old child and I think this is important to her character & how she furthers the themes of Sumeru. The entire reason she’s neglected her entire life is bc she’s a child and the sages disregard the idea a child has any “useful” wisdom to offer them and feel emboldened to mistreat her because of that. Its that kind of mindset that we’re in conflict with throughout Sumeru. To have the Archon be a child who is still really smart and full of wisdom is like. Thematically sound to the story when the message is essentially don’t use wisdom/knowledge as a way to disregard people and seek only power/control. Its that exact mindset that Scaramouche, as an antagonist, is the cumulation of in the AQ

So to have him come to respect Nahida and listen to her is really sweet, and I think it’s additionally sweet when you lean into this kinda duality of Nahida being really wise and in a position of authority but also a kid, and Wanderer 100% rolls with it. (Especially given the fact Wanderer is established to have a soft spot for kids, I like imagining Nahida’s more childish qualities put him at ease and r something he actively likes about her—which is sweet when it’s her childishness that she was disregarded for yk) I think ppl struggle to grapple with that kind of contradiction of Nahida being a child on some level but not the same as an average human child, which is a shame bc that’s something I like seeing interpretations on

So with all of this in mind if I am viewing a character as a child where a big part of her character is it was wrong to disregard her as a God of Wisdom bc she’s a child, I don’t exactly find it really appealing or cute to have her dynamic with a character who is absolutely treated like an adult man in the writing be her parenting him and tending to all of his emotional angst 😵‍💫 the way it’s done esp with Scara being likened to an immature edgy teenager son here (which is kinda ooc to me) while ppl insist on Nahida being the mom feels very. Well. I am not really a fan of the idea of a female character being reduced to the mom friend and people being more willing to view a fictional adult male character as a “teenager” than the girl who again I feel is on a certain level written as a child? I and unfortunately it makes up maybe 70% of Nahida showing up in fanon NSJNDJCKDNND

[lazyveran]

Oh lazyveran the fire squad is HORRENDOUS!!!! I love it. Please, elaborate on Azula's particular role in and thoughts on this awful little smorgasboard. Does she feel conflicted about how Katara is changing the dynamics? Dies she even register anything changing? Whats her relationship like with Zuko in this au. What does a day in the life of the squad look like and what does it look like to Katara, who isnt steeped in decades of intricate rituals. Please 

genuinely gives me such joy to make them so awful. terribly terribly nepo babies that will ruin ur life. long rambles below cut hehe

SO! azula is. well she doesnt think there's much wrong with it. i mean, on an intellectual, psycho-analysis level she knows ty lee is a insane, mai is also insane and her brother is [redacted]. but ultimately she doesnt see anything wrong with any of their dynamics because she has LITERALLY no one else as reference. the insane social isolation azula went thru as a child soldier and ozai's fav little nuclear bomb means its difficult for her to parse out toxic or harmful relationships she may have and ultimately, use and utility comes first in any relationship. the fire squad are simultaneously her most trusted confidants, her closest companions, people she'd entrust with her life and legacy and the weight of her father's, and later iroh's, missions to AND assets to be used, strings to be pulled, and loose ends to be monitored. plus she wants to gossip with them. shes the princess, it's her agni given right to bitch and moan abt the peasants!

azula's mindset is all layers of fucked, basically. im aiming for a vibe in which azula herself has no idea how she really approaches and feels for her friends. its emotionally complicated, azula is horrendeous at understanding that kinda thing. the fact that she's so hyperaware of her position as royalty means she locks herself desperately into that role and doesn't allow herself to go beyond it. that implies a distance between her friends she halfheartedly attempts to keep. but the bottom line is that she's insanely loyal because they invest that back into her. azula's a woman who values devotion above all else. she's desperate for it. You Have To Stay. Everyone Else She Loved Has Left Her. STAY. FOREVER. to do so will be to assist and witness her eternal glory and the shining legacy she will deliver to the nation. she will elevate them to the greatest heights, reward their loyalty tenfold!!! JUST STAY. DONT LEAVE HER. NOT LIKE THE DEAD ONES AND THE GONE ONES-

(also, azula is narrow minded in a sense. she understands people implicitly but believes her own personal goals are the Ultimate Ones. everyone wants power, glory, legacy and the love of a nation. they have to, right? why else would she strive to achieve them, if it's not the perfect pinnacle of all human endeavour? she wants to reward her most trusted friends with what she percieves is the ultimate prize in life, so does so from this weird half distance as a princess. shes really weird. her love language is probably acts of service (and all she knows how to do is kill))

azula and katara's relationship is awfully complicated. for a start, azula presumes domination within the relationship. it's sort of something azula just. takes for herself. as her nature, and because katara isnt initially someone she wants to dig her claws in to force them to Stay. she fully expects that she will simply have some new woman near her sometimes and she'll get on with Important Work with the besties. then katara KICKS HER ASS, FORCES her to look and see katara as someone equal, someone worth respecting and listening to. ultimately she does come to respect katara, and that unknowingly starts to change her. as in, azula gets bullied into it. repeatedly. and getting frostbite that one time. and in her draw towards katara, azula begins drifting from the (not at all realised) dependency on her squad and more towards katara. because she has an equal! and thats!!! azula never really thought she'd HAVE one! katara is her WIFE, there's no presumed distance to keep!!!!! so she gets super duper obssessed with that. she wants to eat katara alive, she's enraptured by this woman.

so.. the worst siblings ever... zuko and azula were alone in the palace with only each other for years after ursa's disappearance and azulon's death. it made them so tremendously dependant on each other. azula believes that her brother is the one thing she can protect, wants to save, is her final piece of family and something good and there's no one else, NO ONE else. HE HAS TO STAY. it's very intense. the fire siblings trust each other implicitly and convince themselves that they're going to be stabbed in the back by each other. they're tied together in blood and want to kill each other and constantly butt heads and argue and contradict each other. and they're the united front of the last of ozai's line. the only ones who understand what it was to be a child of ozai and ursa. azula wants to bite zuko's head off and zuko constantly wonders if azula has been sent by a dark spirit to bring endless suffering to his life. true terrible siblings that would raze a country to the ground for the other, then slide a dagger into their back while they watch it burn.

their day to day life is a little boring, really. ty lee flits in and out of the palace on whims. if court is fun, she'll go. if there's a gala, she's there. if its boring? she'll leave to some FN island for a month and a half making connections, meeting nobles, being entertained, probably picking up a WEIRD hobby and/or romantic partner for a week. she sends a bajillion letters back abt her travels - that azula diligently reads and that mai dgaf abt and gets the synopsis off of azula. then ty lee returns, and rinse and repeat.

mai is officially a political advisor, representative of her father and close confidant of the princess-general azula. in reality, she fucks around the palace pursuing whatever she wishes, and conducts a very very terribly obvious affair with zuko that half the goddamn nation knows about. she's happy coasting along, dipping her hand into politics and national affairs every now and then to keep up apperances, and acting as a spy for azula when she wants to. they have a nice little setup.

azula is quite literally busy from sun up to sun down. she's got one billion projects constantly; ranging from political, scholarly, artistic, so on. she manages her own little spy network, she manages half the nobles in court, she micromanages the nation's finances. she's so insanely busy, and thats how she likes it. she always has time for tea with mai and training with zuko somehow. and zuko is much the same. he's never alone in a room, and always has a pile of work to get through. as the crown prince he's heavily involved in all flavours of meetings and consultations. he usually leaves the noble shmoozing to azula, though. he hates them.

they all work together pretty cohesively, since they were born and raised into these roles of nobility. katara was. not. katara absolutely, desperately DESPISES the fn royal court. no one tells her fucking ANYTHING about the tiny intricate sublties. its all very ridiculous to her. the stubborn, proffessional distance everyone keeps with each other is the worst of it for katara, who grew up in a very loving community that has no issues about physical or emotional intimacy. it's terribly lonely. she's stubborn enough to keep bashing her head against the wall trying to work her way through it, bc she refuses to be excluded from the halls of power of her new life. she's also kind of upset that despite being married to azula, she rarely ever SEES her, hardly gets the chance to know her (and connect with the one person she's allowed to have in the endlessly lonely palace halls). azula is simply so absorbed into her duties (and avoiding katara) that they only glimpse each other in their shared quarters. to katara's irritation and mai's distaste, those two seem to be the only people who see each other regularly. its really not a fun time for katara. she stumbles and makes mistakes and it's only then she ever gets to see her wife - and it's always azula's ire that she gets to recieve. toxic yuri.....

SO. thank you for asking abt this. i hope my complete word vomit makes a lick of sense. i adore talking about this au. peace and love on planet azutara

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

hello :D if you are taking asks for the ship bingo card you reblogged ca. two days ago: c!awesamdream, c!awesamdrunz, c!drunz and/or c!awesampunz

Hello :oDDD Sorry this took a hot minute. I reblog like 250 posts a day and therefore had to track it down like a goof.

Awesamdream^ I debated coloring the crack square here too, because by god is crackshipping fun with these guys, but I also write a lot of not-crack for them??? or Not-Quite-Crack. Listen I really like making them funny and fluffy and not being very angsty-torture-y about them, which. Gestures to Canon. Is ironic. And silly. I don't like taking myself too seriously with them because then it stops being fun for me. A lengthy scene about torture just doesn't delight me the same way Sam tripping over himself trying to catch Dream (and Failing) would.

He did horrible things, maybe he needs to fall into a pit trap and experience gay yearning and then he'll feel better.

Awesamdrunz^ Every moment they aren't kissing I Suffer. Who allowed these fuckers into my home. Why are they the funniest pairing and also the dumbest and also somehow burgeoning on healthy. This is Sif's fault. I feel like gnawing on the table. I need them to have the most feelings to ever feel and be super emotional and then I need them to be a comedy skit where no one is getting out with their sanity intact. There's something wrong with them. There's something wrong with me. I need to Yell and Scream and Bite.

Drunz^ What the fuck is wrong with them (delighted.) They are just!!!! Just!!!!! I'm rapidly losing braincells thinking about them. You can Do Things with them. Its about Loyalty And What That Means, Its About Worship Its About Personal Devotion Its About Misanthropy And Its Pitfalls Its About Icarus If He Tried To Fuck The Sun. Its about friendship and its about queer people. Its also about Punz. I like Punz. I really like Punz. I think they deserve to be mentally ill about their relationship with Humanity forever and I deserve to study them like a bug while they do it. Also they should be kissing Dream. Why aren't they kissing Dream.

Sampunz^ Way Back When, before I was into awesamdrunz, I didn't like the idea of rotating this pairing because My Focus Is On cDream and cDream Shipping. Where Is cDream. Then after being boiled like a frog for several days and/or weeks during The Awesamdrunz I mildly lost my mind about them. Did you know that Sam deserves to be shoved into a wall by his angry short boyfriend and kissed within an inch of his life. Did you know. Punz has a hard time trusting anyone, trusts Sam absolutely none, but over the course of the relationship Sam continues to improve and become a better person and they slow burn into a deep intimacy-because Sam needs Punz to tell him he's doing a good job and Punz needs to feel safe and secure and a properly developed Sam is absolutely willing to give that to them. In This Essay I Will-

[false-cowboy]

if I consume one more fucking tragedy (intentional or not) about deep unyielding love (requited or not) leading to the destruction of one or both parties I'm actually going to snap, listen I have a fragile constitution and I will become violently ill if I get one more of this fuckass obsessive devotion that only ruins everyone involved I am going to vomit with this loyalty to the point of a near religious devotion and begging for love that will never be given over and over and over and over- and this death of one half of a whole and something that isn't love but is believed to be due to its sheer intensity why can't I just have People Normal About Each Other. People Who Go On A Few Dates And Are Fine About It. feed me a story about ordinary individuals please please please please please

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible by James Russell Miller

Peter's Denial (Matthew 26:31-35 and 69-75)

As Jesus walked with his disciples from the upper room on the way to Gethsemane, He warned them of the peril into which they were about to enter. “This very night you will all fall away on account of Me.” Their trial would be very great. He quoted from an Old Testament prophet a word which described the situation as it was about to be: “I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered abroad” (see Zechariah 13:7). He knew what was coming. He would be smitten. He was the Shepherd and had kept His sheep in safe protection thus far. Now He was to be smitten and they would be exposed to the power of their enemies and His.

Yet even in the shadows of the gathering night, He saw the breaking of the morning. “But after I am risen again, I will go before you into Galilee.” He was to be killed but He would be raised again from the dead. He was not to be finally torn away from them. Death would not be defeat to Him. He was to lie in the grave but He would come again and lead them once more, away beyond the grave. Hope never failed in the heart of Christ. He was never discouraged.

Peter was always the first of the disciples to speak. The most holy occasion could not awe nor quiet him. He had heard the Master’s warning but he resented it. There was no need to fear for him, whatever others might do. “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” His self-confidence was very strong. It was not possible, he said, for him to be untrue to his Lord. It was Peter’s rash boldness that made him weak. Jesus repeated His warning, making it personal. “Truly I say unto you, that this night, before the rooster crows, you shall deny Me three times.” Still Peter resented the warning. “Peter said unto Him: Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” We would say that such solemn words spoken by the Master could never be forgotten to commit such a sin against his Master that same night. Yet the fact that Peter actually denied Him with such positiveness, and so repeatedly, shows how terrible the temptation was and how weak the strongest friend of Christ is in such an hour.

Gethsemane came next, with its hour of anguish. Then came the arrest, on the edge of the Garden, when Jesus was betrayed by one of His disciples and led away to the palace of the high priest. It was far on in the night. “Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard.” There are several steps leading to Peter’s present position in the courtyard, that we must recall in order to understand his denial. It began farther back. Earlier in the evening he disregarded, even resented, the warning that he would deny his Lord that night. That was a serious mistake. We would better listen when God speaks to us in this way. Peter was not a hypocrite. He was sincere, he loved Christ but he was too self-confident. He lacked that distrust of self which should lead the best and holiest to know that only in Christ are they safe. Peter was weak that night because he sought no Divine help.

Next we find him sleeping when he ought to have been watching. That hour in the Garden was given in order that the disciples might be prepared for temptation. Peter did not improve it and was found unready. He failed in love’s duty to the Master. Next was his rashness in drawing his sword. This act made him liable to arrest and led him to try to hide his identity and his connection with Christ, lest he might be seized by the officers. Again we find him following Jesus “afar off.” This showed timidity and failing faith. His courage was slipping. Following at a distance is always perilous. It shows a weakening love and a trembling loyalty. It is in itself a partial denial. The only really safe place is close up to Christ.

Another fatal step was taken by Peter when he went in and sat down among the servants in the court. He was in bad company. He had seated himself among Christ’s enemies. His object was to conceal his discipleship. He wanted to be thought one of their company when he sat down among mockers and revilers. He hoped thus to escape detection. Thus he acted denial before he spoke it. Had he been altogether loyal and faithful, he would have kept out of such company and as near his Master as possible. The only true and safe thing to do when among Christ’s enemies, is to take one’s right place quietly and firmly at the beginning. Starting wrong puts one in a false position, in which it is almost impossible to be faithful afterward. Peter was in a bad place for a disciple when “sitting out in the courtyard.” He was ready to fall. We must guard against taking the steps that lead to denial of Christ.

Peter’s denial was not premeditated, as was the betrayal by Judas. He was caught in the entanglement of circumstances. His first denial was partly owing to the suddenness of the assault and his previous false steps. He was not false at heart but loved his Master even when denying Him. We must remember that when all the other disciples forsook Jesus, Peter was the only one, save John, who followed Him when in the hands of His enemies. True, he followed Him afar off, timidly yet he followed. We must keep in mind his character also impulsive, impetuous, always doing rash things yet withal bold and loyal. These considerations palliate though they do not excuse Peter’s denial. After all, this is one of the saddest chapters in the Bible. This favored disciple, at the twitting of a slave girl, denies his Lord; and then goes on denying Him, with increasing earnestness and with oaths and curses.

There are several things that made Peter’s denial peculiarly sad and sinful. One was that he had received so many marks of special favor from his Master. He was not a disciple only but an apostle. He was one of the three who had been chosen as the Master’s particular friends. He has been honored, too, by the Lord on several occasions, even that very night in the Garden when he was chosen to be with Him. He had made the boldest confession of Christ and had also loudly professed his allegiance.

Another aggravation of Peter’s denial was that he had been so earnestly forewarned. Even that night he had been told that he would deny Christ and he had utterly disregarded the Lord’s words, declaring that he could not possibly do such a thing. No railroad engineer runs past a red light. Forewarning makes sin, worse because it leaves it inexcusable.

Another thing that made the sin worse was that it was in the Lord’s hour of sorest need that Peter had denied Him. If it had been on the Transfiguration Mount, or during the triumphal entry, it would not have been one-hundredth part so bad. But it was when Jesus was deserted and in the hands of the enemies. Was that a time for the bravest disciple, the most highly favored friend, the noblest confessor, to turn his back upon his Lord? When the shadow falls on your friend, when the tide turns against him, when others have forsaken him is that the time for you, his long-time bosom companion, and the recipient of his favors, to turn coward and leave him alone? How much Peter might have comforted Jesus in His trial! Instead, however, the only words the Master heard from His friend’s lips, as he stood amid enemies and revilers, were words of denial, which cut like sword-thrusts into His heart.

A simple lie becomes a lie sworn to, and then a lie sworn to with imprecations and curses. Simple denial is bad enough but this apostle even went so far as to invoke curses upon himself if he were a disciple, if he even knew the man, and to utter oaths to emphasize his denial. How this aggravated his sin!

But how could an apostle who had been with Jesus so long, hearing and using only pure speech, curse and wear in this way? The answer is that it must have been an old habit with Simon the fisherman, which now cropped out in the excitement. This is a way old evil habits have. It is impossible to root them out so that they will never give trouble again. They are like weeds; you may dig them out and think there is not a root left in the ground, and for a while none may be seen; but someday they will reappear. Bad habits of any kind formed in early life always leave weak points in the character. It is very easy to fall again in sudden temptation where one has fallen before. It is always easy to take old paths on which the feet were once accustomed to go. One who drank alcohol in is youth, though he becomes a total abstainer and is true for years is never as safe at that point, as one who never acquired the habit. It is so with lying, swearing, obscenity, dishonesty and all vices.

At last Peter came to himself. “Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him… And he went out, and wept bitterly.” The rooster crowed, and then Jesus turned and looked upon Peter (Luke 22:61), who, glancing up at that moment, caught his Lord’s eye. The cock-crow and the Master’s look, aroused him to a sense of what he had done. An incident, a remembering, a look, were the means by which the sinning apostle was brought to repentance. We can think of that look. Jesus was in the hands of mocking enemies, and while they were scoffing and beating Him, there fell on His ear the voice of His favored disciple, denying Him with curses and imprecations. Surely this was the bitterest drop in the bitter cup of that terrible night. What pain and sorrow there were in the look that fell upon Peter! But, thank God, the look broke his heart and saved him. He went out into the night but not like Judas, to despair. He went out into the night but the angel of mercy went with him and pointed him to hope. He wept bitterly but the memory of that look grieved, chiding yet full of love told him that he had not yet lost his place in the Master’s heart. He repented of his sin and was saved to become one of the noblest of our Lord’s apostles. So we may thank God for this sad story, because it shows us such a door of hope when we have sinned.

[astrum99]

Of course I have to write something with the new lore drop on Gabriel's pronouns:') Anyways: sets around the 3-2 epilogue.

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It was unfair. It was absolutely unfair.

He had done his assignments to perfection for millennia, for eons. Slayed enemies by the orders of the Father, the council. He tore away the seat of the judge within hell and sat there for as long as he was told to. He spilled blood without thinking, because he trusted them to make the right call, because how can God be wrong? How can the council be wrong?

He knelt in front of them. Body low and curled. Head drooped like his wings. Shame and pain stewed and bloomed from his first fail, due to an abomination of a machine that defies all odds. He needed to warn the council and purge the machine once more with some additional helping hands.

Yes, he needed their support now more than ever, but they were not sparing him a single glance. They looked away as if it were them that were hurt. He couldn’t get a single word in before the tremendous voices of the council overwhelmed him. The repulsion in their voice wormed its way into his veins and turned to ice. It pinned him to the cold marble flooring. Not a single explanation was given a place. He can’t get a word in before they cut him off. How can they judge without letting the defendant speak?

He was injured, he was bleeding. His wounds were open, pulsing, still burning badly from the piercing of the relentless gunfire. Yet here he was, kneeling and grovelling like a creature, a husk. The council spared him no mercy, no sympathy. No offers for healing or rest. Only utter disgust and resentment. “Heresy,” their voice echoed, louder and louder.

They stripped him of his rank, of his pride. They called him it. As if he was nothing more than a young, bumbling virtue. His work, his devotion, his absolute loyalty – they acknowledged none of his offerings, his sacrifices. They refused to listen. Instead, the light was cruelly ripped out of him.

For a brief second, he was not sure if the scream was coming from his bleeding throat (it was). The next second came the crashing pain: in his delirious state, he was uncertain if he’d been disembowelled and eviscerated in the process (technically, his organs were physically fine, but the light was rooted in every cell of his, and the extrication was... far from gentle).

He woke with a hollow feeling in hell. He supposed they had tossed him there to save the trip. Alone. Isolated. Still hurt. How unfair to make him go on like this.

At that moment, a part of him realized that he did not matter to them. They did not love him. They only loved his work, his devotion, his loyalty. Like a dog. He shook himself and refrained. He could not possibly entertain the thought if he wished to go on. He was given an opportunity to prove himself, and he must rise once more to earn back their respect (because it was the only thing he knew). So if he cannot fill the emptiness from the light with love, he supposes hatred will do just fine.

He gazed upward and absolutely did not think about how he found more comfort in the familiar darkness of hell than the cold marbled floors of heaven.

He had work to do.

[mehoymalloy]

Wake up babes new Sleep Token song for me to go absolutely feral over because of how insanely well it fits Otohan's perspective in the Judicator AU

A stoic statue

For the judicator who is emotionless and single-minded in their given objective??

You cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands

Something something Imogen is literally blowing the dust off of Otohan like an old book in her effort to figure them out. There is a scene involving hands but Spoilers.

I feel my shadow dissolving

You mean the shadow of the Duskmaven you have served with devotion your entire life??

Cleanse me with pleasure

It's plot-relevent smut, folks, this absolutely comes into play but again, Spoilers.

Up like the moon and out like the hounds

Don't even get me started on the symbolism of moons and dogs in this AU, I'll never fucking stop.

Coiled up like a venomous serpent

Otohan is Focused and Methodical and Intense and Scary, y'all, it's kinda their thing.

Tangled in your trance and I'm certain you have got your hooks in me

Otohan can't explain why they're fascinated by Imogen but Imogen can sure as hell take advantage of that.

I can see you in my fate

Fate? The Duskmaven?? Need I say more???

The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

LISTEN, this makes me especially feral and ima tell you why.

What makes Judicator Otohan so interesting to me is that it completely wipes the slate clean on Canon Otohan. One of the key ideas @inomakani and I came up with for the judicators is memory alteration (something about bias and loyalty and sacrificing individuality that I can't really get into). Remember all the alleged atrocities Otohan committed during the Apex War? Did they still do that in this AU? Well Otohan sure has hell don't know. It's literally taking a monstrous person and theoretically wiping away all their terrible deeds. We're left with this inhuman entity that is incredibly dangerous yet also infinitely more innocent ?? It completely flips Otohan and imotohan as a ship on its head and I ADORE it.