#listen i think its a fun dynamic of oh fuck the idol i liked is a shadowrunner now WHAT

[kiddphel]

why did i make an s/i thats an idol and performer? well you see im gay and F1N4L1TY would be into that and-

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Character: Kujo Takamasa

First impression

since i first saw him in rikus fucking. 1st beat flashback. i knew that man was sus as hell amen! i was super curious since we got that bit of knowledge that tenn left with a random guy and basically had this prediction that he was AWFUL and the cause of all of tenns problems. in the first actual scene with him i was mostly like 'what a cool scene!' but as soon as we learn he's tenn AND AYA'S dad i was like. oh i bet he's why tenn works himself into the ground and has all these weird complexes and won't talk to riku i bet kujo’s this horrible abusive guy. i even wrote this little tenn&aya angst fic back in october when i was watching 2nd beat that holds up decently well (it was basically a sickfic where tenn was like ik im sick but I Have To Go To Work bc otherwise kujo’ll be pissed and aya was like My Mom Died Of Illness) but definitely has some inaccuracies and missed how interesting tenn and aya's characters and complexes are. anyway i hated that man!

Impression now

I LOVE THIS MAN!! he has every disease <3 <3 <3 i love his hair. i love his vibes. i love when he fails at life. he's still an awful parent who did/does definitely traumatize tenn but it's in a fun funky way. i love a man who goes insane with longing. i also just really like the little snippets we get of him existing. being himself. his personality entertains me. i like his dramatic monologues and i like that he’s goth

Favorite moment

oh my god. when the high school trio corner him in a hallway and he’s like “when did i start running a children’s counseling hotline” my friend. perhaps when you started using them as raw material for idols??? its so funny hes like. whats up with these kids ❓

Idea for a story

THIS IS SURPRISINGLY HARD bc i give him a lot of screentime in my stuff that ISNT centered around him but then with just him all im thinking of is easy little character studies where i wax poetic about zero. OH!! actually i’m always dreaming up dumb kujo family crackfic. they go to the grocery store. (i actually have snippets of this one thought up.) they go to a diner. they go on an overly long drive and hate it. haruka is always there causing drama. its a beautiful world

Unpopular opinion

ONE TIME I SAW A FIC MAKING HIM HOMOPHOBIC nah. hes gay. hes homophobic against haruki specifically. but in general taking an antagonist and making them do allllll the bad stuff is never my jam. also w that the idea/theory that he fucked over zero, like pressured him too much as a producer? i could see him being the reason zero disappeared, but i don��t think he could or did Manage zero— if he overwhelmed zero, it was probably with excessive love and devotion— like i bring up in the favorite relationship section he’s the guy who says “this song is the most amazing thing in the world” and gets so excited about it he breaks your stuff!

Favorite relationship

i thought about this for a little but i think i gotta say him and haruki! apart from them being the choice with the most history, their dynamic is just fun— harukis a jokester. a free spirit. a silly guy if you will. and generally laid-back/unattached- while kujous very serious and singleminded. add in Beef and that they used to be really close and it’s so fun; i also think a lot about the flashback scene where haruki’s having kujo listen to his new song and kujo’s like THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER MADE!!!!!! what a hypeman :> and harukis like don’t break More of my glasses so that’s another fun touch of contrast in their dynamic

(and god. i’ll make this last forever kujou vs here for a good time not a long time haruki. what a pair to trap in endless grief)

i also actually really like his and gaku’s dynamic? all their scenes together are really strong, it’s really satisfying seeing gaku tell it like it is— with all this care for tenn and knowledge of tenn’s issues embedded— and having gaku play kujo in the zero musical also brings out ALLLL the similarities in the two characters (that are really quite different) and makes every kujo-gaku scene during that period extremely fun bc gakus doing CHARACTER ANALYSIS

Favorite headcanon

ough… ive talked about this before but i think aya buys him best dad merch, haruka buys him stuff that says “worst dad” and he ignores what all of it says and just like. wears/uses it.

also i like the idea of him being consciously goth/alt but in different styles since before zero disappeared

[neonun-au]

thoughts on k r&b? favorite artists/producers? i trust your opinion…..

if you want something more specific then rank beenzino’s discography lol

wow this sent me down a rabbit hole lmao i used to dip my toes a LOT into k r&b but i fell out of it after a while cause the rappers that crossed over with it so often started to annoy me a lil bit when show me the money became like...a big thing LMAO so so many of my faves are old old

beenzino has a great discography. hes definitely up there as a fave. 24 26 girl live life like a fish...still top peak album so good.

i mean zion.t is a classic and he undeniably made so much good stuff, but primary was really where it was at for me. he seems to have sort of...disappeared, but his 2012 album??? unreal. SEETHRU?????

what happened to sonnet son? she was so interesting and its so hard to find her stuff now fdjksf ms. burgundy was my fucking jam the year it came out i was so into it

i kind of fell off of it around the time dean started gaining popularity but his first album i still love. 21 is a solid bop every time i listen to it

simon d. simon dominic. simon d o m i n i c oh oh. classic. he makes great stuff. cheerz still goes as hard as ever

suran is always a good listen. like no matter what she does, her voice just comes through so nicely.

gray had a hand in a lot of songs i really loved back in the day, and to this day still he's making some interesting stuff. blink was and still is a real fave (esp the remix)

giriboy has been making a lot of things lately that i very much enjoy as well, and he has been a staple for a while i think !

i also sort of miss kanto? he did some really fun collabs with some idols. his song with infinite's sunggyu was one i listened to a lot back in the day. i should catch up with his stuff

crush is good, but i never really got too much into his stuff. i loved his song 'sometimes' but i loved the cover by jamie park (ne jimin park) a lot more than the original tbh i was trying to find it but its so impossible fjhdaskjfd maybe ill have to upload it from my itunes

dynamic duo's 7th album (luckynumbers) is one that i really enjoyed. it was like...nice summertime r&b.

i used to listen to this guy called eachone a lot. he had an album in 2012 called diorama that i was really really in love with. especially the song i like...

this soulights album in particular

sexyhomme had some mixtapes that i loved that sort of straddled the line between r&b and hip hop a lot, but i always loved them. theyre difficult to find now, but he has some stuff up on spotify that is still very good ! (also 0 monthly listeners??? wth?)

do you remember that cover of officially missing you that geeks did? i dont know what happened to them but i still listen to that song. they did one with jo hyunah of urban zakapa too called just go and i really love that song

as far as the current k r&b scene goes, i think that bibi and bi (funny) are making some really interesting stuff ! btbt blew my fucking mind so im happy to see him doing some stuff. and bibi is hit or miss for me with her actual songs but i always think she's doing something interesting.

mino's last album is genuinely phenomenal. im so into it. i think he has been doing some really interesting things for a while now but that album was sort of the best of him all boiled down into one package. i loved kill and the title track tang ofc

sam kim put out a nice album in 2018 that i got to late but its a great time.

i would be remiss if i didnt mention feeldog !! ex-idol now doing a lot of production and his own solo stuff. and its all exceptionally good and very underrated. detox really is a favourite of mine this year, such a gem

the scene has changed so much from when i used to actively pay attention to it i dont even really know who is still in it beyond the k r&b that is so seeped into the fabric of kpop itself now. im glad so many idols are finding some purchase in the genre through solo careers and stuff, like genuinely i love yugyeoms r&b, and baekhyun and kai make some really solid stuff.

honestly it seems to me like the future of k r&b is a lot of idols / ex idols who genuinely grew up on and love the genre and are bringing their flavour and experience from the pop industry side of things to r&b and i think thats pretty cool. its always been rather interwoven, but you see more and more crossover now than ever before

[kaimal]

you should totally do that pairing with idols thing 😍😍

💀💀 do u want me to die. IF I DON'T SHIP U WITH THE IDOL U WANT TOO FUCKING BAD BRO URE ALL DELUSIONAL ANYWAYS (also im not doing all of my moots cuz i have like.. 34)

@hyukaas (mirawr) - hendery. yes hendery. as much as i hate to admit it, they would be a very funny couple 💀 if youre hanging out with them ure either going to have the greatest time of ur life OR you're going to third wheel no in-between 😬😬 a very chaotic pairing, i would not want to go near them if i were u. dirty jokes 24/7 (SPECIFICALLY from mira). OH MY FUCKING GOD THEYRE SO LOUD PLEASE THEY ARE SO LOUD- karaoke dates. like yk when u can have a room all to urself? they just get a separate room and sing (scream) their lungs out. the type of couple to hold hands when they're sitting on a rollercoaster at the amusement park cuz both of them are extremely scared. one of them crushes the others hand by how HARD they are clutching onto it. IF THEY EVER WENT TO A HAUNTED HOUSE THEY BOTH WOULD YELL SO HARD THAT THE STAFFS EARS WOULD BLEED. would laugh on their way out tho. i feel like if you even looked at hendery mira would quite literally hiss. like a cat.

@gyuury (tifff) - jeongin. I KNOW U WANTED SEUNGMIN BUT JEONGIN FITS U SO MUCH MORE IM NOT SORRY. Literally the most annoying couple ever. the room is silent and then you hear both of them cackle out of nowhere. yes they also laugh at funerals. THEY GLANCE AT E/O AND THEN BURST OUT LAUGHING AND IT ANNOYS EVERYONE SO MUCH. a couple that gets babied a lot, "aww look at our babies :( going out on a date!! so cute~" and they get so annoyed too 💀💀 bicker all the time. even during intimate moments or smth, like they could be cuddling but jeongin would still be making fun of her for being short. quite literally made for e/o THEY WOULD BE PERFECT TOGETHER. go out on movie dates just to be that one annoying couple that takes selfies with flash, stands up and blocks someone's view, yells out stupid commentaries in the middle of a very emotional scene. the most evil pairing to exist.

@keisua (eju) - beomgyu. menace couple WOO BEOMGYU CATCHING A CASE BRO- annoying couple pt.2. probably don't even act like a couple, u just think they hate each other until you see them holding hands 🤨🤨 fight a lot, it's not even bickering its full on FIGHTING. wrestling like eju has drop kicked beomgyu and is currently ready to bodyslam him kind of fighting ykyk?? get mad at e/o for realises a lot, but the anger goes away quite quickly. go to the grocery store to buy some baguette or smth and call it a "date." another couple u shouldn't go near if u dont want ur eardrums exploding bruh 😬 piggyback rides YES PICKYBACK RIDES. BEOMGYU LITERALLY JUMPS ON EJUS BACK AND FORCES THEM TO CARRY HIM AND U CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE.

@sieuneo (marie) - sunoo. the chill couple. honestly the only pairing i wouldn't mind hanging out with, they're really sweet and just ALL SUNSHINES AND RAINBOWS THEY'RE SO CUTE. the type of couple to not shove the fact that theyre together down ur throat by an immense amount of PDA that makes u uncomfortable. the most they'll do is hold each others hands or something 💀💀 then they'll feel bad for leaving u out so now you're ALSO holding either marie's or sunoo's hand. YAY!!! kinda confuse u with their dynamic tbh, one second they're all lovey dovey but the next second they're @ e/o's necks. THE BEST COUPLE TO GO FOR ADVICE TO. LIKE SUCH A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BRUH HOW DO THEY MAINTAIN IT?? feed each other food and its disgustingly adorable. when u look at them u just get extremely jealous cuz u want want they have, but u cant even be mad at that cuz they're such sunshines 😍 bring out the best in others but most importantly each other.

@yyx2 - kyla. YANGYANG OBVIOUSLY. I CANT SEE KY WITH ANYONE ELSE AND IT'S A PROBLEM. thirst over e/o 24/7 literally simps. "URE SO HOT" "NO URE SO HOT" "NO URE S-" much like mirawr and hendery, very loud. but not as loud. listen to horny NCT songs on blast and scream out the lyrics, plan to cook something legendary together but then end up making rsmen cuz they either: couldn't find the recipe online cuz whatever they thought of was so fucking obscure and weird, realized that they would set the kitchen on fire if they tried anything, or just got too lazy to spend time on making food. i feel like they'd watch cocomelon together. yangyang tries to teach ky german like seriously but then gets frustrated cuz ky cant pronounce the words correctly so he settles on teaching her cuss words and watches her struggle to say "fuck" for half an hour, finds it very amusing. overall 0/10 i hate them thank u

@eternallyhyucks - haechan. SOMEONE SHUT THEM THE FUCK UP. PLEASE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP FUCKING TALKING- talk 24/7 like they dont stop talking. even when the entire world is asleep both of them are up laughing and giggling and being all happy, ew disgusting. 4AM dates, have their sleeping schedules fucked and they don't even care cuz they're living their best lives. probably kiss a lot too 😬 everywhere and anywhere, esp in front of ppl who call it gross or disgusting AND single people just to make them feel even more single. words of encouragement and reassurance are a must, hold e/o's faces and tell one another how perfect and in love they are. a very loud couple so u assume they bicker a lot but in reality they're actually pretty soft :/ they only bicker with the people around them. very protective of each other. if anyone calls one of them something mean or rude, they're DONE FOR. sickeningly adorable. get away from me.

@junityy (liz) - jay. the "i'm gonna do something stupid" and "PLEASE DON'T." couple 😍😍 u can guess who is who. liz makes up the weirdest fucking nicknames for jay just to tease him 😭😭 "hey jongseongringdingdong by shinee hyd 😈" jay is literally so done with her bs, literally thinks about ditching her on a highway or smth :/ tbh same man. same. poke fun at each other constantly, go to expensive restaurants with sweats on as their last minute dates. jay sugar daddy era, he buys her so much shit goodnight omg. spoils her to no end and then wonders why people call him whipped. make e/o laugh constantly, liz laughs cuz jay is very funny and jay laughs cuz liz is lowk a dumbass (not even sorry liz) and it's endearingly stupid. liz constantly simps over him, tells him he's so handsome and pretty and hot etc etc and JAY IS EATING THAT SHIT UP. EGO BOOST TO THE MAX BRO. when they walk together u get so intimidated cuz they look so fucking cool, like much wow such confidence 👨🏻‍🎤👨🏻‍🎤 look like they're talking about serious matters from a 3rd persons point of view but in reality they're discussing what jay should make for dinner

I WANNA DO MORE BUT IM TOO TIRED. I LOST MY BRAINCELLS TALKING TO A RIKI AI.

[flowers-of-io]

@eri-223​ you brought it upon yourself, now I won’t shut up c:

OKAY SO

I can’t really draw neat straight lines between the two, but there’s so much aesthetic similarity to me, particularly with Toland and the Hive-Ascendancy thing. Maybe it’s just me dying for the vibes (or loving POTO in general since I was 9), but it struck me today how Eris/Toland--when it’s made a Working ship--is basically everything Christine/Erik is not. There is so much to be said about Christine/Erik alone, but to me it’s an epitome of why gothic-novel-esque dynamics don’t really work in the long run when they don’t move past being just Gothic and Tragic. And hear me out. A goodhearted, elfin woman at her vulnerable point (grief over father) meets a honey-voiced stranger and has this secret thing with him, this music they share in the dead of night, and it’s intoxicating because music *is* her passion (and something she has deep emotions over in itself, the thing that is most hers in the world) and it’s secret, and a whole other world to what she’s facing in the daytime. The mystery is intriguing, and that’s intoxicating too. And there’s an uncomfortable power imbalance but it doesn’t bother you just yet, because there isn’t really any attraction between the two--not in the romantic-as-in-love sense at least, rather this romantic-as-in-romanticism pull all dark beautiful secret things have.

And here we can shout a fucking thank you at Erik for completely ruining that beauty by being an absolute creep. But Chrissie doesn’t know that yet. And so he leads her deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. And she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that is so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.

And this, THIS is the best moment of the entire thing to me. This story could be well off without Raoul (whom I deeply love and cherish but he ruins the gothic) because he adds this romantic tension of a love triangle (which I absolutely loathe because ugh. love triangles.) to what could have been a tale of a girl torn between the world of day and night rather than two men who each love her in a different way. There’s so much of Persephone-sque struggle in Christine’s soul that has been shunned by the story imo, and would have made the whole thing better in the long run (and maybe less grossly-abusive on Erik’s part).

So let’s circle back to Toland, another pale, bony, possibly disfigured brunet in a dark coat with a living room full of skulls and candles (the vibes, huh. he probably owned a boat and a horse too). If we take Eris/Toland as starting off before the Hellmouth (I’m really starting to tentatively test my ground on this hhhng), it feels like the same story slightly to the left. Granted, Eris has more agency, but there’s still a huge power imbalance in her and Eriana coming to Toland--an exiled genius|madman with an evil black crow (Guren) perching on his shoulder--and asking him for help, laying their and their team’s lives at his feet - him, who could probably kill them in seventeen different yet equally fancy ways were he more invested! And there is so much darkness here already because how dark it must have been in Eris’ soul to agree on this revenge fantasy, what an abyss Eriana’s eyes must have been hiding; how desperate they must have been to come to him, to even consider this, to choose a possibility of painful, screaming agony in the Hellmouth over the ache they were feeling now. And so there’s vulnerability, too, in a way - because they’re desperate, because they’re hurting, because everything has been taken from them and they have nothing else to do but this ridiculous, mad plan. And oh he can abuse this void, he can make them do whatever he wants and they’d do it gladly, and I have a feeling both Eris and Eriana are aware of that.

And so they work, in secret, cracking secrets of the Hive, tasting the rot of the forbidden fruit, hiding from the daylight with their dark, heretic, nighttime folly. I think there is a threshold at wherever it is they are meeting--be it a room or a house, Eriana’s kitchen or Toland’s disturbing “lab”--in the doorway, between the bright but empty world of patrols and strikes and dead friends and this horrid, twisted, yet fascinating realm of promised vengeance. And I think Eris learns, hungry for secrets, hungry perhaps for Toland’s eyes on her because all dark beautiful secret things have a pull, and she can’t tell if she’s more drunk on the adventure, or the heresy they’re so blatantly committing, or him. And maybe he reciprocates in his own twisted way, maybe they talk or kiss over the parchment pages, and she cannot tell--she cannot tell if his eyes are truly for her or the Hive, the mystery, the thing they’re doing. I’m thinking of what you wrote, how “he wanted Ascendance as badly as she wanted him”. But despite that--or maybe because of it--she allows herself to be led deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. Is it the Hellmouth? Maybe, though I think it’s a process that spans between their secret studies of the Hive and the midst of their descent, when Vell is dead and maybe they’re all doomed, and Toland’s eyes twinkle in the dark and it’s such beautiful madness she cannot help staring. And the checkpoint has come, time to show cards--and she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that was so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.

I think this is Ir Yut, or maybe a little bit earlier, but nevertheless the bubble bursts and Eris is left in the dark alone and betrayed. That’s of little concern, of course, when the Hive is hunting you down and all you hear is your friends’ dying screams, but it still hurts, it’s still bitter, it’s still so, so wrong. I like to think he comes to teach her then, maybe give her the journals, and it’s a whirlwind of madness and horror and fury and gore, but he’s whatever comfort she can hope for at this point. It’s twisted, it’s awful, it’s dark-gothic rotten, it’s as wrong and horrid as Erik/Christine is as a whole.

But then they’re given the chance Erik/Christine never got. They’re allowed to outgrow the rot. There’s so much dysfunctionality and disturb going on in most gothic-esque “love” stories because it’s not love, it’s attraction taken for a spin and often grossly abused. Love is growth. I like to think of what must have been going on in Eris’ head (and Toland’s too, perhaps, though I doubt he had one at that point) when they were exchanging the letters, the dearest Eris right next to did you watch me carve out each eye; now that she’s wiser, and scarred, and not so stupid anymore--but there’s still that dark pull she can’t help, now even scarier than before that she knows him for what he really is, now that she’s seen the rot. There’s so much hurt to be outgrown, so much betrayal, but she finds he’s yet again whatever comfort she can hope for (that entry *is* called A Light In The Darkness, huh). I could wax poetic about this whole process but I think you captured it so well in STM I don’t have much else to add.

I wanted to throw quotes into it but couldn’t quite fit them into this, uh, essay (which I didn’t absolutely re-read), and I guess Music of the Night would apply here but it’s ripe with uncomfortable sexual tension?? And aside from that (which is in its entirety a trip) just consider these ah

this whole moment

also this

He'll always be there singing songs in my head  Is this Eris in the letters phase? maybe. I performed a vibe check and it showed positive

Wandering Child for how unhealthy-twisted and beautiful it is (ignore Raoul, I have no metaphor for him in this au)

For either way you choose, you cannot win  It’s just a good quote y’all

Farewell my fallen idol and false friend / We had such hopes, and now those hopes are shattered 

Angel of Music, you deceived me / I gave you my mind blindly  (HOW SHE WHISPERS THAT LAST PART IN THE MOVIE OK)

Stranger than you dreamt it  now you’re stranded in the Hellmouth good job

What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn / Beyond the point of no return

The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn

Down that path into darkness deep as hell  but Toland smiles while he sings this

And of course the classic,  And in this labyrinth where night is blind / The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind

Wow! I didn’t even get to the Dreaming City! It’s way more vague than the whole Eris/Toland thing because of course ships take up 80% of my brainspace but idk I just find it so incredibly fitting when it comes to paralleling Savathun/Dul Incaru terrorising the Dreaming City with what Erik does to the opera. Like, everybody knows he’s There but no one can do anything about it, he sends vague threats and kills people but nobody can catch him, and the place is just a giant playground for him to have fun and achieve his personal goals in. And whatever the hell is going on in Masquerade, like

Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you

wow that sure is subtle. Seething shadows breathing lies, huh. Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you :) And then he crashes the party in a fucking Red Death costume. If this doesn’t have huge Dul Incaru/Siren of Riven energy I don’t know what has.

And of course the shitshow only starts when we kill Riven but the seeds have been planted long, long ago. If you listen closely, you can hear Petra screaming in confusion somewhere under box five.

I know most of this second part is a stretch, BUT! this is my au. And for the record, I know there are very mixed feeling about the 2004 POTO movie but to me personally it was a formative experience, first watched on a very crappy TV in music class at the age of 9 and not even in its entirety, but I was already captivated and shaken to the core, and there’s still, after all those years, something that screams at my soul when I hear the first notes.

And, as a treat for those who suffered with me until the end of this essay,

[v-hope]

Someone speaks badly about you on a show

—and they defend you, ofc.

Pairings: OT7 x Reader

Genre: I guess fluff for default, angst

Request by @ally22042000: "Hey, I saw that request for reactions are open. Can I have one with the boys ( just Yoongi and JK if all of them are to much), where they are at an award show or interview or something like that and someone talks disrespectfull about the reader? Thx so much💜 and have a nice day."

A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind, I enjoyed writing these 💕 Also, you're an idol in a couple of them and in the rest you're not. I hope you like it!

Kim Seokjin

Your boyfriend absolutely lived for whenever he got asked to be an MC at award shows.

So, naturally, he was very hyped up once he was handed his lines and had to go up on stage with two other idols – one of them being his good friend of many years, and the other one being a new artist who had debuted last year.

It was simple. Read the cards. Just read the goddamn paper notes you had been given and that was it. But, apparently, the idol by his side was way too new to this whole thing, for instead of reading what he had been handed to, he fixed his eyes on Jin to his side.

"Thank God I got to be with the fun one of your relationship".

Seokjin's eyes went to lock with his out of instinct, having not really processed what had just happened yet.

"The fun one?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah" the idol nodded his head. "Y/N would've made this so boring".

Jin glanced for a brief second to his friend, as if to verify he had heard just the same and his mind wasn't making it up – his awkward expression itself doing that for him.

Nonetheless, as much as he wanted to snap at him, he decided to be the better one, maybe just because he knew he was still live and didn't want to make a scene right in front of everyone.

That didn't stop him from putting him in his place though.

"Then you clearly haven't had the pleasure to meet her and witness her high class humour" Jin spoke into the camera, later placing his eyes on his friend. "Don't you think, hyung-nim?"

"I have never laughed harder than with her, Seokjin-ssi" he replied immediately.

And then out of nowhere, Jin dug his hand in his pocket, throwing multiple heart shaped red papers that had everyone screaming in a second. "Love you, baby. Don't let anyone tell you you're not funny".

What's the saying? Kill 'em with kindness? Well, Seokjin had just slayed that poor guy's soul.

Min Yoongi

"Hey, it's BTS!" the MC greeted cheerfully once the seven guys came on the shot.

One by one, they went up to her to give her a quick hug before they took their place standing next to her.

Up until then, everything was fine, and maybe things would've remained that way if she had just said nothing after Yoongi hugged her. Instead, she laughed, catching him off guard.

"At least you are polite" she shook her head in amusement.

Yoongi pouted naturally because of his confusion. "Who of us hasn't been polite?"

"Oh, no. Not you" she shook her head one more time, only to clarify: "Your girlfriend".

"Y/N-ssi?" Hobi was the one to ask on his hyung's behalf, being just as puzzled as everyone else by that statement.

At the nod of confirmation coming from the MC, Yoongi brought the microphone up to his lips. "But you've never even met her, where'd you get that from?"

"The video of her not even looking at the paps taking pictures... when you were at the airport the other day".

Yoongi's hold on the mic tightened, suddenly becoming protective of you. "So just because she's a private person she's impolite?"

"She didn't even acknowledge your fans. Come on, that was just very–"

"She's not an idol" he cut her off. "She doesn't have to put up with all of this, especially when she's not comfortable with all the attention".

"She should've known this would happen when she decided to date you".

"Guys…" Namjoon tried to stop both of them from arguing any further, for they had apparently forgotten they were still live.

But Yoongi was already done, slightly shaking his head before he put an end to it for once and for all: "She's given up enough for me already, I'm not asking her to be all bubbly around paps or our fans when she clearly isn't comfortable with it. If that's impolite to you then go off, I guess, but I'm the one dating her and I know better".

On to the next topic now.

Jung Hoseok

"Hoseok!" the girl interviewing them read effusively on her phone.

They had been interviewed person by person that day, since a few influencers had gotten the chance to record short clips with BTS to upload to their social media. This one, so far, had been one of their favourites, for its dynamics consisted in nothing but the young woman going through her Twitter reading fan questions or just letting them know about cute comments they had made.

However, that was soon to change when she caught Hobi's attention, continuing: "I loved you in the concert last week, I got to meet Y/N and she was the cu– oh, irrelevant much?" she mumbled with a small, breathy laugh, before dismissing the topic and scrolling down in search of another tweet.

Hoseok's eyebrows knitted together. "Wha–"

"Oh, here's a good one" she smiled as if nothing had happened, as if she had not heard him; having the seven men exchange uncomfortable glances. "Jimin, you and your girlfriend are such couple goals, I can't w–"

"Um…" Hoseok cut her off, stealing a quick glance to Jimin, who looked just as out of it, before his eyes fell back on the girl's. "How come Jimin's girlfriend is worth talking of and mine isn't?"

"She's an idol" she answered as if it was evident.

His jaw tightened. "So people are only worthy when they're famous now?"

"Well, no..." she uselessly tried to fix it.

"Then I believe you should respect her enough not to call her irrelevant or skip comments at the mention of her".

"But there's nothing interesting about Y/N anyway, so…"

That was all Hobi needed to turn his head to look at his members before he shook his head in defeat. "We're done here, guys. I'm not listening to any more of this nonsense".

Neither were they, which is why they were all soon to follow your boyfriend out of there.

Kim Namjoon

"So, Namjoon-ah" the entertainer's eyes focused on him, "I watched a few pictures of you at your girlfriend's graduation the other day" he smiled. "You guys looked so cute!"

A big smile spread over Joon's lips, recalling the pride he had felt that day because of you, being the happiest to have been able to be there for you.

"Aw, thank you" he said truthfully, his dimples making their appearance. "I'm really proud of her".

"You are?" the man asked.

Now, there were two ways to say those words. One with a genuinely intrigued tone, and one that was looking to offend. In this case, given not only his tone but also the way his eyebrows had raised in impression, it had been clear to everyone present that his intention had been the latter.

"I am" he stated simply, hoping that would be as much as the host would say about the topic before he moved on to the next one.

It was not.

"Don't you ever wish you were with someone more successful though?"

Namjoon's jaw tightened visibly, his eyes turning colder. "What does that even mean?"

"I'm just saying, you're Kim Namjoon" the man shifted on his seat. "Worldwide known idol, producer, rapper… whereas she's just… ordinary".

The way he had said that last word made it seem like being like that was the worst of things, and Namjoon did not like it one bit.

"Her achievements are just as important as mine" he was fast to talk in your defence. "Just because she isn't a part of the idol industry doesn't mean her dreams and passions are any less worthy of recognition than mine".

That alone had the interviewer apologising in a second, realising then how bad he had messed up. Because, in all honesty, Namjoon couldn't really care any less about you being famous or not – he would always be proud of you and your achievements no matter what.

Park Jimin

"Ah, Park Jimin!" the host exclaimed after a picture of you had popped up on the screen in between them. "You really got lucky with this one, didn't you?"

That sure did bring a bright smile to his lips, for he absolutely lived for these moments, when people acknowledged how beautiful you were.

Nonetheless, that smile of his was soon erased when the same guy added: "You should control her more, though".

With that and a frown adorning your boyfriend's face, the picture previously displaying on the screen was gone and replaced with one of you in a night dress from two days ago instead.

"Control her more?" Jimin asked through gritted teeth.

"Yeah" he nodded his head. "She has a boyfriend now, she can't go around looking that hot, it might get the wrong attention".

Now, Jimin himself hadn't really liked it when you went out dressed like that, but he was your boyfriend, so he did have some kind of right to feel a little jealous of other guys thirsting over his girlfriend when she was out alone with her friends, didn't he?

This guy, however? Neither what he said was appropriate on so many levels, nor did he have the right to talk about you and your outfit like that.

"I think you should think before you speak and induce people to have unhealthy relationships" your boyfriend spoke in a low, calm voice.

Controlling you? What kind of bullshit was that?

"Come on now, I was joking" the man brushed it off with a laugh, and a very nervous one at that.

"Were you really?" Jimin raised one of his eyebrows, not believing a word. "Even if you were" he went on before the guy could open his mouth to reply, "you should maybe reflect on yourself and, instead of telling me how to treat my girlfriend because of how provocative she looks, think of why you, a guy who's over his forties, thinks that way of someone who could easily be his daughter".

He had not been rude. He had not raised his voice. Yet he did somehow manage to look so fucking scary to the man in front.

Kim Taehyung

"Y/N?" the interviewer asked in disbelief, only to scoff after receiving a nod of confirmation from Tae. "Of course she'd end up with one of you guys".

Not only did Taehyung's eyebrows furrow in that moment, but so did everyone else's – his members exchanging dumbfounded looks as your boyfriend looked to the guy in front dead in the eye.

"One of us?"

"Mhm" the guy replied simply. "She always seems to be with whoever is the most famous at the moment, so..." he shrugged.

"She's only been with other two people?" Taehyung raised one of his eyebrows.

"Who just so happened to be the moment's sensation" he reminded him. "And now she's with you".

"You can't help who you fall for" your boyfriend's stare became colder by the second.

"She's just going to break things off with you as soon as your moment of fame passes".

That was it.

"Okay, no" his voice came out like pure venom. "If she broke up with them, it's merely because they were both complete assholes to her".

"Taehyung…" Namjoon discreetly squeezed his wrist from his side.

"No, hyung" he shook his head before fixing his enraged eyes back on the interviewer. "She's the sweetest person there is, it's not her fault us guys fall for her. And it's not her fault either to have dated guys who don't deserve her. She did well to dump them, and I know she won't leave me just because of my fame's status".

And then, as everyone in the room remained silent, being absolutely perplexed by such situation, he shook his head in disappointment once again at the sight of the guy's desperate attempt to come up with something else to say.

"You know" he beat him to it, "for such an overrated interviewer, you are so goddamn misinformed".

Good thing this would get bleeped out by the editors later, that if they ever wanted this to air at all.

Jeon Jeongguk

"It's been a while since we last were together, hasn't it?" the host spoke after they had all sat down on the sofa placed in front of her. "A lot has happened since then…" a cheeky grin curved up her lips when her eyes fell on Jeongguk, "like the maknae finally getting himself a girlfriend?"

A shy bunny smile didn't wait to part Guk's lips, meanwhile his six hyungs started being chaotic like they, by this point, always were.

"He did" Namjoon was the one to answer for him, fondly patting his shoulder.

"Well, congratulations! It was about time you got someone" the woman said with a smile. "Though I must admit I never thought I'd see you with someone like her".

Your boyfriend's previous smile was replaced by slightly parted lips. "Someone like her?"

"I mean" the woman tried to get her point across, "you've said multiple times that IU is your ideal type, and Y/N's just…" she scrunched her nose in a displeased manner, "she's not exactly…"

Oh, no. There was no way in hell Jeongguk was letting her finish that sentence; the idea itself making him mad. That was the reason his shy side was long gone, being replaced by his protective one instead, which had quickly taken over him.

"She's stunning" Guk spoke in a low, determined voice. "IU is just a celebrity crush. Y/N's the woman I am in love with" he established without hesitation. "I really don't understand why you're bringing this up".

Although taken aback by Jeongguk's sudden way with his words, not having expected such outburst coming from the quietest member when it came to interviews, the woman went on:

"I'm just sayin–"

"No" Guk cut her off, shaking his head hastily, "you have nothing to say about my preferences, you don't get a say on us".

End of conversation.

[temarisnara]

for the meme: naruto, sakura, sasuke, kakashi

THANK YOU!!!!!!! 

naruto

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang  hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (i haven’t actually thought too much about these so i’m going with my gut here but dicey and i were talking tonight about the generational difference between naruto and jiraiya when it comes to loyalty. jiraiya grew up in a time of war and is a solider, he was trained to be loyal to the village. if it came down to it, he’d kill even tsunade if she betrayed the village. naruto is loyal to people. if sakura betrayed the village, he would never give up on her, just like he never gave up on sasuke. naruto wants to protect the village because the village is where the people he loves live. naruto’s entire narrative arc is about bonds so i’m pretty sure he’s a hufflepuff) best quality: god i just wrote a fucking essay above about it- his loyalty and bonds to other people. everyone he meets is now his friend whether they like it or not ! he was just such a lonely kid, desperate for attention, for love, for acknowledgement, anything at all. and it would’ve been so easy for him to sit in that, to let himself hate the village, to resent them- but he didn’t. he set out to prove them wrong and he did. he is so, so, so fucking good. worst quality: HIS TASTE IN MEN. okay like, on the real, it’s not his fault and boruto isn’t real but it’s such UTTER BULLSHIT that the entire fucking series he met these people who got fucked over by the village status quo and he promised them he was going to change it when he became hokage and he fucking didn’t. its BULLSHIT. it’s not his fault, that’s not him, but GOD i’m MAD. ship them with: SAKURA, sasuke, gaara, shikamaru, sai, kiba, hinata.   brotp them with: SAKURA- in fact all of the above list. he has great dynamics with them. also, kakashi, iruka, jiraiya, tsunade, choji, i like to imagine his and ino’s dynamic as fucking hilarious when they’re older. oh and i want him and karin to be annoying cousins together like PLEASE i DESERVE THIS. needs to stay away from: STOP SHIPPING HIM WITH KAKASHI!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!! GO TO JAIL!!!!!!!!! misc. thoughts: that’s my fucking BABY i’ve shed SO MANY TEARS over this blonde idiot. he’s so good. 

sakura

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (again, havent thought about it before now, but my gut SCREAMs gryffindor. she’s so...punchy, and head strong, and hard working. just like. all the gryffindor traits!) best quality: sakura’s character development lives rent free in my head. like. okay. sakura always had potential. she ranked high in her classes, she had better chakra control than naruto or sasuke, mastered things quicker than them, was observant and book smart. but physically and emotionally, she was weak! she could not hold her own in battle the way naruto or sasuke could, and often her fear got in the way, if not straight up controlled her. when naruto and sasuke fought, she could do nothing but beg them to stop. when sasuke left the village, he easily knocked her out. and sakura knew she was the weak link of team 7. so she resolved to get stronger. she sought out tsunade and trained with her for four years. and like, tsunade is an insane person. sakura would break her bones and tsunade would have her keep training and just heal them later. she mastered healing. she mastered chakra control. she developed fucking superhuman strength. she refused to be the weak link anymore, to just sit back helplessly while naruto and sasuke fought. she’s from a civilian family, she has NOTHING in terms of innate ninja abilities like literally everyone else in her class, but she became the strongest female ninja of her generation and surpassed her legendary sannin mentor through sheer hard work and determination. FUCK. she’s so cool.  worst quality: again, this is NOT HER FAULT, it’s bad sexist writing, but sakura is such a fun and obnoxious character who matches naruto beat for beat, but when sasuke comes around she’s a shell of herself. even when she’s MARRIED TO HIM she doesn’t act like herself. she’s reverted back to that inflatuated 12 year old she’s long outgrown! bro, WHAT!  ship them with: NARUTO AND INO. and. ok. listen. i’ve become soft for sasuke/sakura’s potential. if sakura got to be herself with sasuke, they’d be, at the very least, FUN. and sasuke/naruto/sakura is so fun. also rock lee is so sweet, i would not have been mad if they’d been endgame. brotp them with: NARUTO AND INO. kakashi, tsunade, hinata, rock lee.  needs to stay away from: STOP!!! SHIPPING!!! KAKASHI!!! WITH!!! HIS!!! STUDENTS!!!!!!! misc. thoughts: i knew i would love sakura. look at her. she has pink hair and she punches things. 10/10. but she quickly, quickly became not just my favorite naruto character, but one of my favorite characters in all of shounen anime. the ball was dropped with her, multiple times, but she’s still such a dynamic fucking character with the best character development. 

sasuke

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life | there aren’t words to describe how i feel about him  hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (sasuke is...hard. i think the argument for gryffindor could also be made, but i’m leaning towards slytherin) best quality: i’m so tired. the thing about sasuke is....he deserved so much better than he got. i can’t tell you what his best quality is because his entire character arc is him being self destructive. he’s not fucking well!!!! the good parts of him he either tries to snuff out, or the story glosses over them to show how far he’s fallen. I think, the one good quality that refused to die, is his protectiveness. Him protecting Naruto in the Zabuza arc was such a pivotal moment for him, for his and Naruto’s relationship, for Team 7, for the story. It was the moment where everything changed. He was so desperate to protect Naruto from Itachi, he was super protective of Sakura in the forest of death, and even in Shippuden, he’s protective of team Taka, and unfortunately the moment I finally  broke and said fuck it, I love Sasuke, is when he protected Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi from the infinite tsukiyomi.  worst quality: his extremism lmao like. god. again, dicey and i have talked about this, how characters who challenge the status quo are portrayed as ~crazy~ and extremists so yet again, its BAD WRITING but also PROPAGANDA! god. but like, i’m sorry, fuck the village but he wanted to go after people who were not involved in what happened to Itachi. I understand his anger, but I wish the narrative had treated it and him with respect rather than throwing a fucking dart at a board to decide what Sasuke’s character arc was going to be about this week! ship them with: naruto, suigetsu, juugo, and again, lowkey sakura. brotp them with: naruto, sakura, kakashi, team taka, itachi needs to stay away from: STOP SHIPPING HIM WITH HIS TEACHER AND BROTHER. YALL.  misc. thoughts: i’m so fucking tired. what was kishimoto trying to do with him! i don’t understand! sasuke was right! he was fully right to hate the village, to demand change. why did kishimoto have the  village repeatedly doing heinous, evil things, validating sasuke’s resentment, but sasuke was portrayed as being in the wrong. ALSO, the ENTIRE. FUCKING. POINT. of naruto is  bonds, and how important friendship and love is, and sasuke’s entire GODDAMN NARRATIVE is about him breaking those bonds to become stronger, and destroying himself in the process, and everyone he loves telling him this isn’t the right path, and FINALLY he accepts it- and then in boruto he’s JUST. ALONE? HE HASNT MET HIS DAUGHTER IN 12 YEARS WHEN FAMILY WAS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM???? I HATE IT. I HATE IT. THIS IS SO BAD. SASUKE DESERVED BETTER.

kakashi

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (i want to say ravenclaw and make team 7 representation of all the houses but that man is a gryffindor through and through) best quality: honestly kakashi is a lot of good things but he’s not a character i look at and go “oh i love him because he’s _____”. i love him because he’s a character who has suffered so, so much, who has depression and ptsd and truthfully he just wants to fucking die so fucking bad to the point obito has to tell him “fucking no, stay and live”, but he never gives up. he might be 3 hours late because he couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed, but he still got out of bed eventually and showed up. so, actually, i guess that’s his best quality. he keeps going. worst quality:  so like. how did he end up a teacher. i’m just wondering. LISTEN, HE LOVES HIS KIDS SO MUCH. but he is NOT well suited to teaching, he does not fucking like kids, sasuke and naruto are TRAUMATIZED and he’s just like “hm. when’s the new book of icha icha paradise coming out?” BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO ship them with: GAI IS HIS LEGAL HUSBAND AND SOULMATE. obito is his ex-boyfriend who he’ll always love an idolized version of.  brotp them with: naruto, sakura, sasuke, yamato, rin, asuma, kurenai.  needs to stay away from: [screeching] STOP! SHIPPING! HIM! WITH! CHILDREN! YOU’RE! GOING!  TO! JAIL! also i fucking hate kakashi/iruka THEY NEVER TALK?????????? WHY IS IT SO POPULAR??????  misc. thoughts: it’s fucking unfortunate how much he got to me. i knew i wouldn’t dislike him but he ended up being one of my favorite characters and i’m so mad. my reputation of hating fan favorites is on the line here!

[happymetalgirl]

Babymetal - Metal Galaxy

The ongoing “controversy” surrounding Babymetal and the protests from so many metalheads about their very existence honestly doesn’t even deserve to be addressed, at least not in the context of what they bring to the metal biome. Rather, on a contextual/cultural basis, Babymetal reveals more about several unfortunately prevalent mindsets among the metal community than it does about the band themselves. More than any other band in metal right now, Babymetal gets so many disparate groups to agree on a common ground of shunning them from the realm of metal, many of them being the otherwise “reasonable” and “open” types. And look it’s okay to not like their music, I’ve only really gotten into a few songs of theirs up until this point, and I’m certainly not their biggest fan. There is definitely room for criticism for the band’s prototypical blending of Japanese pop and various styles of metal at a compositional level or even their part in contributing to the greater systemic mistreatment of young pop idol stars. But the ways that the band gets criticized more often highlight the very dogmatic kind of thinking within the metal community that so much of the music rails against (at least in aesthetic). But, again, the tantrum surrounding their existence is worse for metal than it is for them; the worst thing about Babymetal is not what they bring to the table, but the embarrassing reactions to it and them from so many in metal culture.

One of the most prevalent gripes about them and their gimmick is their industry-built origin, which many have reacted to the potential cash-grabbing motives behind defensively and skeptically. And I do get that position and not wanting to feel like something you love is being manipulated for a quick buck, and for all the public disdain directed at them, it’s certainly not stopped Babymetal from finding success, which one could suggest implies that they are simply an industry plant and not reliant on good artistic performance. so it’s not like they have even had real pressure to improve their craft. Yet Babymetal has been active for nearly a decade now, and in the five years since their debut album, the project has genuinely evolved and its creative masterminds have gotten a better handle on their sound in a way that shows a transparent dedication to artistic investment in this project from its workhorses and not just monetary investment from higher ups.

Plus, when it comes to cheap cash grabs in metal, the kind of projects I think of are not projects like Babymetal, but rather nostalgia-driven shit like Prophets of Rage, or clear ploys for mainstream radio/Spotify-playlist crossover like Bullet for My Valentine’s last album. Despite the red flag the pop elements of the group’s sound throws in the face of contrarian metalheads, Babymetal has continued to nurture and tighten the bond between the pop elements and the metal elements that make their signature sound, and upon hearing Metal Galaxy, I was honestly surprised at what a resounding testament it is to their progression and enduring dedication.

Like the albums before it, Metal Galaxy offers a wide array of impressively well-produced song types to make for a rather dynamic listen, with nothing really off limits. We get some more upbeat, fun, poppy songs, especially near the beginning of the album, like the power-synth-driven, Gaga-esque dance number, “Da Da Dance”, as well as the djent-juxtaposed pop bop of “Elevator Girl”, and the middle eastern melody of rhe clap-along “Shanti Shanti”. But we also get songs like “Oh! Majinai” with Sabaton’s Joakim Brodén, which come out of left field with a seemingly cocaine-fueled blend of synth-accordion-powered folk metal and J-pop that sounds like the kind of metallic drinking song a band like Alestorm or Korpiklaani would right. And then there’s the unmistakable technical swagger of Polyphia guitarists Tim Henson and Scott LePage over the tasty snaps and measured rhythm section of “Brand New Day” and the similarly balanced electronica and distorted guitar backbone of “↑↓←→BBAB”. The gimmick of the simple colliding of many genres is no longer novel for Babymetal, but they aren’t simply darting between poppy sections and heavy sections of songs for the eccentricity of it like they were on their debut album. The songs here are much more focused and their parts more cohesive as the various styles are far more complimentarily compositionally intertwined now, again, showing how this band is actually evolving and improving their craft.

What’s surprising furthermore (arguably) is the ramp up in energy the album takes at its tail end. The jolty synth-driven power metal pop of "Night Night Burn!" and the subsequent ceremonial choral intro of "In the Name of" open the album up to its heavier side, with the latter track layering downward-shifted and somewhat unclean vocals with punchy metallic guitar bursts and tinny Slipknot-trash-can percussion hits. But the band delivers some serious fucking bangers afterwards with the crushing industrial nu-metalcore bounce of “Pa Pa Ya!!” (reminiscent of the currently in-form Motionless in White), the filthy industrial djent-driven trap swagger of “BxMxC”, on which lead vocalist Sumetal provides an impressively speedy and characteristic rap-flavored vocal performance.

Alissa White-Gluz also makes a positive vocal contribution to the somewhat disjointed, but hardly offensive melodeath pop single, "Distortion" as well. The uplifting "Kagerou", meanwhile, feels positively Periphery-esque, with a vocal melody thay sounds like something Spencer Sotello would have soared (probably even higher) with on his band's most recent album this year. While also stratospherically soaring in the clean vocal department, the band go pretty straighforwardly heavy on the deliciously rumbly 8-string groove of the otherwise heavenly "Starlight", with the subsequent, less enthusiastic, string-laden "Shine" the only real weak link on the whole album. The songs I’ve gravitated toward on the previous two albums were the bangers like the melodic alternative metalcore jam, “Megitsune”, the mostly instrumental symphonic death metal grandeur of “Babymetal Death”, and the nu-metalcore bop, “Karate”. But these seriously heavy tracks on this album here manage to match the intensity of the band’s heaviest material while giving a sense that they could even do more, that this could be just the tip of the iceberg. The band sound so in tune and in form the crushing grooves and breakdowns flowing so naturally, I would honestly trust them to come through with a win if they announced a purely heavy album in this vein.

The unexpectedly truly inspirational, hair-raising power metal finale on the closing track, “Arkadia” (driven by Sumetal's beautiful vocal melody), which even more surprisingly doesn’t feature anyone from Dragonforce providing the dizzying axe attack, reaches new ethereally emotive heights I never expected from this band and concludes the album on its strongest, most resounding foot. I dare this band's many detractors to try to deny themselves from being moved by this song's emotional power.

It finally sounds like all the parts are beginning to come together on Metal Galaxy. It's definitely Babymetal's most accomplished and consistent effort yet, reliant not on standout singles to keep its head above water, but comfortably traversing the stormy seas of various styles and demonstrating its ease with the task at hand, making it look good the whole time. Like I said, I've never been any level of committed to fanning this band and I wasn't at all expecting to like this album nearly as much as I did, but this album sure makes it look attractive. While I'm sure it will do little to nothing to soften the hard hearts of metal's Pharisees, the band's excellence on this album and the increased difficulty it gives their detractors to scoff at them is the best retaliation to the constant sneering the band could have dished out. Even as a neutral, it's great hearing them succeed artistically and defy metal's religious "authorities" by simply perfecting their craft. Well done!

Dude, what the fuck? Why is this fuckin' Babymetal album good?/10

[rkchwev-blog]

awake - jbj95 outfit | line distribution dance: ( 00:00 - 00:18 ); ( 00:56 - 01:05 ); ( 01:09 - 01:12 )

this was not a situation he thought he would even make it to. perhaps it was the residual lack of self confidence that still stormed its way through his mind at the most inopportune of moments that made him think this way but each week that passed where his name was not called during eliminations felt far too surreal for him to simply acknowledge his presence on the MGAs as a solidified fact. nothing was for sure in this show nor was it in this business and so he made it a point to not take his continued chance for granted. he’d have to come back stronger each time.

he was aware of his position when compared to the other contestants. or rather… his lack of position. when it came to rappers he was competing against a former idol of a group he was actually a fan of and a fan favorite that everyone seemed to love in their interviews. he’d gotten a few commendations but he was never really suited for variety and so his screen time when compared to others was lacking as well. he had what he had going for himself and he needed to make that work else he would be buried alive by the others.

this was something he was sure he had foreseen happening when the next challenge was announced. duos. pairs. a partner.

it rendered him speechless at first. who was she? oh she had been commended by the judges. so she had to be really good. what kind of music would she like? would their images match well? would they be able to keep up with each other? would they even get along? so many thoughts were running through his head and they’d not even had the proper chance to greet one another before they were directed back to their seats.

surely this was going to be a fucking disaster.

however he couldn’t have been more wrong. all of the nerves he went into their collaboration with were soon melted away after their first practice. he would have to adjust to working with others in that regard and sia definitely put him to work. her anxiety inwardly made him anxious. it was written all over her face just how nervous she was, how worried she was about everything. that instability rattled him… but he could empathize with it. he knew firsthand how crippling anxiety could be and not even for the sake of the show but simply for her own peace of mind, he did everything he could to assuage her worries and fears.

he brought food for them from work to eat and get energy for their practices. she seemed at ease when talking about her cat and so many fun stories were exchanged along with promised playdates. she grew comfortable and song suggestions began to enter the conversation and from her observations, she made brilliant suggestions that when he looked at and listened to them, he could see himself within the performance. his music was taking an upward turn. happier. able to connect with others without drawing on the negative. the lyrics of awake especially drew him as he imagined yeji and what she meant to him. the love he felt for the song was instant.

things were progressing smoothly.

they grew closer as they practiced and the more they interacted in the studio and in messages sent back and forth, the more it became easier to be comfortable as they established a natural chemistry to translate into their performance. a week was a short amount of time to fully know someone but they were at ease with each other and there was a mutual trust that their futures were in each others hands and that they were truly in this together. he was the better dancer of the two – a truly relative position to have when they were both beginners – and though they only selected short snippets of the choreography, they wanted it as perfect as possible. the moves would brighten the song – the entire atmosphere they were going for – and they wanted to make sure it remained an asset and not something detrimental.

there was an adjustment period for him that he couldn’t ignore though. to rap someone else’s lyrics as though they were his own. it was odd. having to follow someone else’s flow when his own flow switched up and changed on his own whim was something he had to find comfort in to be able to find confidence in someone else’s lyrics. he had to suspend his own creative difference from the original lyrics and instead find himself within them and when he approached it differently – as though he were looking at a script – pieces began to fall into place. yeji. this was for her.

they went shopping to agree on outfits for the stage and though his hair was such a hassle in his eyes, they were able to agree on a look that would be comfortable for them both and keep the youthfulness and playfulness of the song alive. it was different than what he was used to but when they wore their outfits in the store and stood with one another in the mirror, he could really see the picture come together. the loving atmosphere of the song. their skills. their stage presence.

this would work. he could feel it.

—–

the day had finally come.

he’d woken up that morning feeling really good and though he was nervous about performing with someone else in a genre that he was beginning to adventure into, he was glad that he was getting the chance to do it with sia. they both had a quiet kind of charisma and it seemed like it would be hard for them to burst out of their shells but when they were on stage it was an entirely different concept. what was practiced was performed with natural execution and what was improvised was received and reciprocated with comfortable chemistry. her greeting made him smile, the trademarked words of hers followed up with his own casual introduction that he’d adjusted to since joining the MGA’s. “hey, i’m vernon.” they interchanged as they spoke about the song, a smile rising to his eyes as he spoke into the microphone before they took their spots. “hopefully this gets you thinking about your first love in the best of ways.”

they circle round each other in the beginning of the choreography and each snap is achieved with practiced rhythmic accuracy. not a beat was missed. sia’s voice lifted up from behind him with their backs pressed to one another and he used the opportunity to use what his former pr agent said was one of his best assets: his face. he smiled a charming smile that colored his salted caramel hued eyes a playful happiness that when he thought of the lyrics shone just a bit brighter as he knew his own first love was right there in the room with him, the look directed back towards sia appropriately. the way the bass of the song underneath the building dance beat kept him entranced energized him and the confidence he had on stage kept him easy. he was thankful for his continued dance lessons that removed the stiffness from his moves in the little bits of choreography they’d decided to use so as the spotlight was turned over to him with a gracious smile from the lovely sia, the weighted microphone was brought to his lips to give the listeners a deep contrast to the bright lightness in sia’s voice as he had a mischievous warmth that would suck them into the bass drop.

Ay 깊은 안갯속에 난 길을 잃어가 너란 빛을 따라가 네게 닿을지 몰라 I’m falling down 끝이 없는 걸 어서 Baby 나를 깨워 줘

he kept the fun in the delivery as the entire song radiated an addictive energy, his hand coming over his cheek as though he were asleep, his eyes closing, with a light shake of his head before he opened them as though surprised, a smile beaming across his features at the cute act. not a single word was missed, his clear and audible delivery something he prided himself on with each syllable tended to in order to keep the freshness of love in each word. he gives sia the stage with an exit as though being pulled away towards her, the tug on his sleeve turning his effervescence her way with a hand naturally coming up to affectionately rest at the hair at the crown of her head as his lines begin again, bringing himself to separate away from her as he clutches his chest as though separating was driving him crazy to find his spot for the highlight of their performance.

매일 봐도 모르겠어 Baby 니가 보고 싶어 Oh crazy

as the chorus began and their voices fell into sync – a harmony they worked hard together to achieve with sia’s singing abilities coming in handy to find a tone they could fit together with his very minimal experience – they fell into the choreography that embodied the bouncy exhilaration the song was composed of, his smile sincerely one that showed his enjoyment of what he was doing. they had perfected the parts they were able to do as a craft and seamlessly transitioned the parts they were unable to do out for different moves that would instead express their overjoy. they moved together, one after the other, to form the heart they had worked into the chorus, his radiant smile tamed as the bass dropped and he sucked the audience back into his words. because every word had importance and he gave them attention to give them meaning that he could feel and that those who were feeling a really strong love could feel.

you wake me up with your mind you wake me up with your mind you wake me up with your

You wake me up with your You wake me up with your mind

I’m on your side, you’ll be my sign 조금씩 빠져들 거야 더 흐릿하던 날들은 너로 선명해져 I got you now 널 보면 Lose my mind

너의 향기로 차올라 Eh 나의 맘은 벅차올라 Eh 잡은 두 손 꼭 놓지 마 Eh

he rode the bass of his rap, his body naturally bobbing to the rhythm as the mix of english and korean dispatched from him showed his deep affinity for hip-hop in the emphasis he put on the rhymes exuding a charisma that he felt in his confidence as a rapper and that was something he never doubted. but he kept it spirited to match the lively dynamic of the song, his hand coming out before him to gesture as he looked directly towards sia as though rapping to her, his smile playfully smitten and mischievous with all the tenacity in his shining caramel brown eyes of a man 100% sure of the woman that he wanted. he dropped the mic as he looked at her, her lines taking over his eyes on her forming deep set crescents as she hit her notes as though he were proud, his eyes still set on her even as he delivered his next lines, lightly taking her hand for the second line before breaking free from her again to find his position for the chorus once more.

매일 봐도 모르겠어 Baby 니가 보고 싶어 Oh crazy

you wake me up with your mind you wake me up with your mind you wake me up with your

You wake me up with your You wake me up with your mind

their choreography for the chorus burst through refreshingly once more, his adlibs in the back filled with energy as he released a happy ‘whoo’ and ‘come on’ in the empty space between their synchronized lines until they were made to come together once again, their heads coming to rest together instead of a heart to end off the song. her finger hearts go up and his hands form a circle over his mouth that he bites into a heart, the exhilaration of the stage still very strong for him even as he bows before they take their exit.

for all of the doubts that he had going into the stage, he performed at his utmost confident state, allowing himself to really feel the song and get into it while syncing with his partner to create a fun, playful and innocent stage depicting all the wonders of a first love. the entire time all he could think about was yeji. he’d performed it with her in his heart and he hoped that she could feel it and he hoped that everybody who watched could feel their love in their hearts too.

[seungminty]

For granted //Jisung

words: 2.1k

genre: a n g s t 

It’s 1am and I’m trash for angst and Jisung, enjoy.

-mads <3

part 2

Friday, 11:54pm

I sighed when I saw the time as I checked my phone yet again. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I mindlessly clicked on another episode of Brooklyn 99, snuggling deeper into my blanket in an attempt to distract myself from the tears that were slowly gathering at the corners of my eyes. Jisung had said he would facetime me after rehearsals, but after 4 hours of radio silence, I was quickly losing hope. 

Not like I should be surprised.

This had become a regular occurrence in our relationship throughout the past few months; I’d plan dates, he’d cancel them. We’d hang out, he’d work the whole time. We’d argue, he’d come back a few days later, full of flowers and apologies, and I’d fall for him all over again. 

Don’t get me wrong, of course I knew that dating an idol would bring challenges, especially since Stray Kids were so well-known, as well as being self-producing. And for a while, we actually made it work. Yeah, Jisung worked most of the time, but I was also busy with college and my waitressing job. However, we always found time for each other, even if it was just Jisung popping into the cafe to give me lunch, or a pizza night with the boys. 

So yeah, I knew it would be hard, just not... not this hard. 

It wasn't like he’d gotten busier, he was always busy, so was I, but he just didn't make the effort anymore. Every time he cancelled on me to hang with the boys or ignored my good morning texts, my heart broke just a little bit more. We’d argue about his newfound attitude often, but it seemed to tear me apart far more than it did him. Before I could fully explain the extent of the loneliness I felt inside, he would cut me off and accuse me of being too clingy, with many insults thrown in too. He would later blame his foul words on stress, but I had heard that excuse so many times I didn't know what to believe anymore. One thing was certain, though, Jisung had changed. We had changed. I wasn't a priority anymore, and it was destroying me. 

 There had always been a small part of me that still believed this was just a phase, that we could go back to the old us. But I soon realized that that was impossible. I knew that Jisung still loved me, and I knew that he still had a heart of gold, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he didn't want to invest time in us anymore.

I guess we're just on different paths now. 

I was suddenly pulled from my depressing train of thought by my phone. Jisung’s name on my phone screen had become such a rare sight that I stared at my lock screen for several seconds before actually reading the text.

Sorry went to the studio after practice and lost track of time.

The studio. That damn studio. 

It was once a place filled up with happy memories, memories of Jisung giddily showing me a hook he’d finally perfected, or lyrics that he’d say I inspired him to write, which always caused both our cheeks to tint pink.

But now, it was the place my boyfriend chose over me, time and time again. I always admired his passion for music, and the last thing I wanted was to be one of those annoying girlfriends who want their boyfriend to only ever spend time with her, but was it really so bad that I wanted my boyfriend to make me feel important every once in a while?

These were the thoughts circulating in my head as I quickly pulled on my shoes and walked out the door towards the studio. By this point, I was so hurt and confused, I didn't have the faintest idea of what I was going to say to Jisung, I just knew that I had to see him. I had to make the pain stop.

I arrived at the studio sooner than I had expected, and a quick glance at the clock above the desk in the darkened reception area revealed that it was a little past 1am.

Wow, what a fun way to be spending your Friday night, y/n.

I sighed as I stood outside his studio door, doing my best to prepare myself for what was to come, whatever the hell that was.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage to open the door, and it creaked open agonisingly slowly to reveal a mop of tangled blonde hair, slumped at a mixing board. I walked up to him, thinking he was asleep, and was about to wake him up when he suddenly spun around towards me, eyes wide and mouth agape, clearly startled by my visit.

“Hey” he stated, his voice deep with exhaustion.

“Oh, hey” I managed to breathe out, my mouth had become dry the moment I walked in, like my subconscious knew that something big was going to go down tonight. 

We remained in an awkward silence for a while, none of us knowing how to react to this new dynamic. Life was Jisung was never quiet, ever. 

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. 

I looked him properly in the eyes for the first time that night, and I couldn't hide the puzzled expression on my face.

“Oh...uh, what for? It was just a facetime call, no biggie.”

No biggie? Really? Not like you wallowed in your sadness while finishing off a whole damn tub of ice cream, y/n.

Jisung looked even more shocked than me now, shaking his head and laughing lightly before speaking again.

“Oh, ok that’s fine then. Thought I missed a date or something like that. So how come you’re here then, shouldn’t you be asleep?”.

Even though I had played it off as nothing earlier, I still felt my heart sink at his statement. There was a time when Jisung would've apologised a hundred times over for forgetting to text me goodnight, now he’s so distant he doesn’t even really know what he’s apologising for.

“I, I uh, I just wanted to see you, and I don’t know, have a chat about stuff?” My words came out more like a question, and I cringed at how awkward it sounded. Jisung sighed, running his hands down his face.

“I guess, but I’ve still got this guide track to finish and its getting late, maybe some other time yeah?” He said, already turning back round in his chair.

“No, Jisung, I need to talk, and you need to listen to me,” I stated, my voice so loud that it startled both of us. 

“Right... Y-yeah sure y/n, um... what’s up?” He gulped, wide-eyed and still taken aback by my tone. I was never really one to raise my voice, but I was desperate now, trying to stitch up our fractured love before it disappeared forever.

But then, I realised. I don't think there’s any love left to fix.

I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to steel my nerves before saying the words I vowed I never would.

“Ji, this isn’t working. We... we aren’t working anymore.”

Those words hung Over the silent room like a thick black veil, suffocating me, and as I hesitantly looked at Jisung, it seemed like they were suffocating him too. He was frozen, staring at the ground in shock, before jerking his head up to search my face with panicked eyes as his hands began to shake.

“I-I... no, you can’t... we’re not, it’s fine-” He spluttered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. I watched with pained eyes as the man I loved unravelled before me, and it was all my fault.

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, and when it became clear that he wasn’t going to actually say anything, I began to speak, doing my best not to burst into tears.

“Things are just different now. You’re always so busy and that’s great, I'm so so proud of you, but there just isn't enough room for me in your life anymore. We never hang out, and when we do we just argue. And I'm sorry, but I just can't take it anymore, I can't take anymore cancelled dates or ignored messages, because it's destroying me, Jisung. And yes, maybe I am just weak and clingy, but I've got to put myself first for once because god-fucking-damn it Jisung, I've been so sad for so fucking long, and my own boyfriend has no idea!” By the end of my speech, I was nearly screaming, and I quickly realised that the dampness on my cheeks was from the many tears that were now uncontrollably cascading down my face. 

Now, the only sounds in the room were my slight panting and the occasional sniffle. Jisung remained unblinking, still frozen in the same position. It wasn't until I shook my head and turned towards the door that he reached forward and grabbed my arm.

“No!” he shouted, panic clear in his voice. I looked at him, he too, had tears streaming down now, the sight making what was left of my poor heart shatter.

“No... you can’t leave, I’m sorry ok? Really sorry. I-I took you for granted. You were always by my side so I guess I thought you’d stay there forever, because I honestly can’t imagine my world without you in it y/n, standing right next to me. I know I’m a shit boyfriend, and hearing how hurt you are because... because of me, kills me more than you’ll ever know. Honestly, this comeback had me feeling stressed out and down I didn't know what to do, but now I realise, that the only thing that could've made me feel happy again.. was you. Of course it was you. You are my heaven y/n, and I swear I’ll never desert you again. I’m such a fucking idiot, I was so sad that I pushed you away, even though you're the only one who can make me happy.” He laughed bitterly, but his expression quickly reverted to fear as he saw me shaking my head, tears still endlessly falling. 

“I’m sorry Jisung... but I just can’t fall for your apologies again. My heart can’t take any more of this, but I'm sure you'll find a-a nice girl... maybe an idol, someone who’s pretty and isn't so weak that they fall apart like me.” I began to walk away again, determined not to turn back again, in fear that I’d break down even further. 

Behind me, Jisung was really panicking now. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. He knew hed been a shitty boyfriend. But he thought that soon he’d feel less stressed and everything would go back to normal. They were Jisung and y/n, they were madly in love and everyone knew it, they couldn’t just break up like this. It was only when I had reached for the door handle did he react. 

“Angel, please.”

I hesitated at those words. 

 Angel. Even thinking of his pet name for me made me want to break down. It reminded me of happier times, when we were so in love we felt we were invincible, a feeling that was all but a distant memory now. 

Against my better judgment, I turned round to see Jisung slumped on the floor on his knees, head bowed and body shaking with sobs. 

I knew what I had to do. I knew what was best, for both of us. 

“I love you Jisung, and know that I’ll always be cheering you on, always.”

I took one last look at the boy who held my heart so tightly that he’d crushed it, before moving to the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

 FIN.

[mic-and-cheese]

Please info dump about your husband...I wish to know more about him!

AAAAA OK I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET THIS FAR 

Idk where to start so I’m just gonna ramble?? I guess??? Puttin it under a readmore bc it’s long as FUCK

I think one of the most interesting things about Buddy is his backstory? Like he used to love supers but now hates them because his idol rejected him? I’ve seen a lot of different interpretations of his past, and I apologize for starting off on this note but Buddy comes off to me as someone who was neglected as a child, so he has trouble with empathy, other social skills, and doesn’t really have a way to healthily deal with stress, which lead him to go down the path he did. I think he was born in a small southern town, but moved to Metroville and became enamored with superheroes because he’s now living somewhere where he can see and meet them personally. He views Mr. Incredible as a father figure because of a lack of a father or other male role model in his life and he probably feels like maybe his life would be better or that he’d be more loved if he had powers, and he’s been constantly told and lead to believe that he can’t be a hero without powers, so telling him that is a sore spot for him.He started messing with machines and learning how to fix them because his family didn’t have enough money to fix or replace things around the house when they broke and he found that he really had a passion for building and creating. Of course, he’s a really smart kid, he loves to read and loves math and science and did well in school, but some adults kinda thought he was a nightmare to be around cuz he’s a lil bit bratty and tries to get attention, but he got along well with teachers and other adults who recognized that he was talented and gave him the attention he needed. Buddy is really used to having to cause a lot of trouble to get what he wants or to be listened to, which is a trait he still kept into adulthood. His first real invention that wasn’t just him tinkering around with whatever he could find was his rocket boots, and he made them with spare parts he found or bought. He’s met Mr. Incredible a few times before, but he was hoping that being able to show off his talent would impress him enough to let him be his sidekick.Ever since he was young he’s always been an entrepreneur, making money by fixing stuff for neighbors and taking other odd jobs.Even after he was rejected he still loves superheroes, or at least the idea of them, even though he doesn’t really like them as people anymore but I’ll get to that later.The interesting thing about him really is just how much I can estimate about him just from what little info we know about him in canon, and how many ways there are to interpret him. I’ve seen him be interpreted as a kid who was spoiled and didn’t know how to deal with rejection, and while I can’t say I like that interpretation, but it is possible. Even though his backstory is interesting, his personality is just…??? Lovely??? I mean it’s really not but I think it is. He’s just??? so geeky and adorable and I love seeing him get so excited over superheroes even though he has a love-hate relationship with them, and he’s just fearless and probably a bit of a dare devil? He really seems like the sort of person who would try anything at least once and doesn’t get embarrassed easily. I mean it’s just so amazing how he’s an evil mastermind but like, he’s still Buddy ya know? Like he still has his excitable, nerdy, funny personality, but he can also be downright terrifying? It’s interesting from a character writing standpoint of course but like, just? On a personal level??? I mean his personality alone flusters me because everything about him (save for uh, the murder) is something I find obviously given the subject of the blog, really attractive. Like he’s not afraid to be himself or play around and he embraces self-insert esqe enjoyment so like??? How cool is it to have an f/o who may also have f/os or at least be supportive of self inserting!!Of course even though theres a lot about his personality that’s cute, there are a lot of things that aren’t, so he’s not really the best with empathy, and he can be pretty cruel, petty, selfish, and he has difficulty opening up to people but I do think that he’s open to learning and changing with someone he trusts, and can be really sweet when he wants to, even if it is a little awkward.One thing I really love about him is how you can tell that he’s got a life and interests outside of Kronos. Like yeah he’s really focused on his plan obviously, but his personality is just so strong in the things around him and the things he does and says that make him feel so much more dimensional. For example, a lot of his tech is integrated with or inspired by nature, so I really think he likes biomimicry, probably because he’s learning how to one up nature, aka basically what his entire motivation is. I love that he’s obviously just got cute little tics like how his eye twitches in the lego games or how much he likes to gesture and hum and whistle. (also his humming is so cute oh my god)And I’m just constantly in awe of how smart and resourceful he is. I mean my love of tropical islands aside, Nomanisan is just… impressive. Like its so ingenious to build his base literally into the island in a way that makes use of its natural features, such as the underwater landing pad, secret exits, underground passageways, and of course the lava wall, and I just can’t help but wonder how he came up with all of that and how long and how much money it took? And thats just taking about the things on the island that are canon. I mean, from my own speculations I figure that the island not only has that amazing lava wall, but is built to redirect the flow of lava to prevent any volcanic activity on the island, keep lava and ash away from expensive tech (the rocket and mantajet for example) and provide power to the island via geothermal energy. Maybe even a little use of wave energy too if necessary since it’s a pretty good option for a place surrounded by water. I assume Buddy chose the island for its resources, (namely a metal alloy that one of the books mentioned) considering he’s made it pretty self sustaining with what it already has after implementing all his tech. The location, being far from any other place, really, and outside of any governmental jurisdiction is good too, so when you really think about it, he probably could have gotten away with a lot of the things that he did, which is, uh, pretty impressive to say the least, not to mention the real world location of Nomanisan (Easter Island) doesn’t face the sorts of hurricanes and harsh weather you’d expect for a small island in the middle of no where.And I mean??? He’s a genius inventor villain who is still extremely in tune with nature to the point that it inspires some of his inventions??? How cool and unique is that??? I’m sure the island must be an amazing place to be, I mean the beaches and caves, rivers, waterfalls… it must be such a joy to explore. And I dunno, I’ve always imagined that working for Syndrome could be kinda fun sometimes. I mean, he is a pretty funny guy with a good sense or humor, and surely guarding and what not all day must get boring, so I’m sure he’s not opposed to having some fun every now and then.And he’s certainly not ashamed of what he considers fun either! I have a feeling he’d like scale models and collectibles and would go to the ends of the earth for a rare one that he particularly likes, especially if they’re ones he gets to build himself. I’m sure he’s a huge fandom geek as well, like name any 50’s-60’s sci fi movie and he knows it by heart. And with all his animal inspired inventions, I’m sure he loves going out in nature and watching the unique wildlife of Nomanisan. Given Easter Island’s own wildlife, I’m sure sharks and whales, and even some really interesting lizards would be pretty common around there. (And given how much forest it has in comparison to Easter Island, I’m sure there’s A LOT more than that. Maybe even rare species only native to the island.) I also really see Buddy as the sort of guy who just loves new and exciting experiences, no matter what it is. Like if it’s something he’s never done before, he’s on board!With all that in mind it’s just so wonderful just how much of a well rounded character he is. I mean he’s happy, nerdy, childish, and excitable, but he’s also bitter, revenge driven, and unempathetic. That being said, his relationships with other people all have such an interesting dynamic to them. He adores Bob for his ingenuity while still hating him enough to try to kill him and his family, and he cares for Mirage but doesn’t really know how to show it. Like I said earlier, I think he was neglected as a kid, so he never really learned how to properly regulate his emotions, so a lot of the time he’s pretty conflicted. He’s an extrovert who wants to be loved and adored, yet he’s too scared to trust after being betrayed. He has a hard time relating to people and thus doesn’t understand how his actions can hurt them when he means well, for example, betting Mirage’s life or saving people from his own robot without proper regard to his surroundings that a truly well meaning hero would have (aka, throwing a tanker truck just to make a spectacle out of saving a mother and child with no regard to what damage the truck could have done).Of course, while his scenes with Mirage can be interpreted as him not really caring for her, I think it’s the opposite. I think he knew that betting her life was the only way he could have saved her (he couldn’t have pulled her away from Bob, shocking Bob could have shocked her, and if he had shown any weakness for her, Bob could have used that as leverage against him, whereas if he shows no remorse, if Bob had killed her he’d just have a dead lady on his hands for pretty much no reason). Granted as well meaning as he was, I don’t think he understands how that hurt Mirage. He sees that he saved her, and doesn’t expect her to be mad about it, but the reality is that she honestly does have a right to be mad about her life being risked, especially when he never clearly communicated that his intent was to save her.Somehow I’ve gone this far without even talking about why I like him??? I mean I don’t even think I’ve ever fully explained why I like him. I’ve tried, sure, but I don’t even think it’s something I can actually convey in words? But I’ll try??? Anyway, he’s literally everything to me, and I don’t just mean that in a sappy romantic way. I’ve always been fascinated with him since I was 6 years old and saw the movie for the first time. He reminds me of happy memories with my dad who passed away some years ago because I saw the movie with him and I remember how much it confused little 6 year old me. Like the fact that the movie started with interviews was the wildest thing to me, and I don’t even think I could even comprehend the plot until much later on. But during that first experience, I don’t know what it was but something about him always stuck with me. Funnily enough one of the things that stuck with me was his joke from Jack Jack Attack and that was the first joke that I knew I didn’t understand but knew I would someday and I literally made a mental note back then telling myself that I knew I’d understand it, and well, thanks for remembering that 6 year old me, because I get the joke now and it’s still funny to me. (I also never actually realized that the guy silhouetted in front of the lava was supposed to be Syndrome until like last summer and I always just thought that was something that was never explained haha.) Anyway after seeing the movie with my dad, he asked me who my favorite character was. I said Violet since I thought saying otherwise would have been weird at the time, but in reality it’s always been Syndrome and that’s just an important memory to me.And now he’s that memory and so many other things to me. He’s what finally helped me recover from a rough couple of years by showing me that people could still create wonderful and impressive things despite being cast away by someone that they once adored and that my success wasn’t based on their approval, which finally helped me shut them out of my life and become so much happier. He helps me manage my anxiety because all the things that make me scared would be nothing to the guy who still wore a cape and rocket boots even after they nearly got him killed. And of course, I love him because he’s nerdy, excitable, brave, and smart, and even because I feel like I can understand his lack of empathy. He’s just such a well rounded, multifaceted character that it’s almost hard to believe he’s fictional haha. With all that combined, he’s one of my my special interests too! I mean it’s hard not to want to know everything about such an interesting guy right?But even if you can’t see the appeal in his personality, it’s no question that he’s just amazing in terms of his accomplishments alone. I mean he can’t be any older than like, 28 max (I consider him 25 though, since the closest we ever get to a canon age is mid 20’s)  and yet he’s a billionaire with his own private island, at least one successful company, and groundbreaking tech that makes today’s tech look simple, but he did all in the EARLY SIXTIES.The mantajet in particular is just awe inspiring to me, mostly because I love planes, but I mean, most planes take 15 years just to be conceptualized. Buddy created a completely automated, uniquely shaped, supersonic, semi-aquatic jet with the ability to hover in under that time. It’s like if the SR-71 Blackbird were a luxury all-terrain vehicle! And I am just so endlessly impressed that it can go underwater, like I’m sure its entire design was based around that ability, since the engines would have to be strong enough to withstand literal tons of water going through them, which is why I suspect they’re placed in those cavities above the wings, to direct air and water to go through them in the right way while also keeping them intact in the impact! (they may be waterproof but they are unfortunately not (or maybe fortunately, depending on how you look at it) uh,,,, Syndrome proof) And the “manta feelers” probably help the plane hover and also serve as the landing gear??? UGH IT’S GENIUS, SUCH RESOURCEFUL GENIUS.Of course I’ve gotta talk about the design of his aero boots too!! He’s come such a long way since the rocket boots!!! I’m so proud of him!!! The new boots are just as genius as the mantajet, really. They have vents in the sole, probably to either keep them from overheating or to draw in oxygen to use for combustion. I love how the metal strip is implemented into the heel and up the back of the boots, that’s probably where the fuel and engines are housed, and man, I can’t imagine how much power they’d both have to generate, those tiny little engines. I’m sure they run on some pretty efficient stuff. And how the soles of the boots look like they can come off of the main boot itself, I’m sure that makes for easy maintenance! I also love how the animators added the detail of the screw in the arch of the boot so that it articulates properly, rather than just saying “yeah whatever he can walk fine somehow with these half-metal boots.”And then there’s Zero Point Energy??? I mean, ZPE is actually based off a real scientific concept that would essentially harness infinite energy. I think about this on the daily and I still can’t comprehend it. He harnessed infinite energy. In the 60’s. And made a device small and powerful enough to literally generate it in the palm of his hand. Since all of that energy is generated in his gauntlets, it’d have to pass through his hands to reach his fingertips, so not only can he generate it, but he created a suit that can conduct infinite energy around him so that it doesn’t hurt him. Like no wonder he’s so protective of ZPE. (On that note, this is exactly why I think he designed his suit and not Edna or Galbaki. He’d never trust anyone else to design a suit with his most valuable tech built into it)Not to mention, how interesting is it that a ruthless serial killer villain like him chooses a technology that doesn’t harm his target and instead just freezes them in place!Also also can I talk about just how amazing the other features of the gauntlets are? I mean they hold a small bomb that can produce a big enough blast to in theory kill the nearly invincible Mr. Incredible. He’s got a laser powerful enough to make a clean hole through the roof of a house, and those gauntlets can take a hell of a beating too, considering it was thrown all over the city during the final Omnidroid fight with minimal damage. Oh also the little sliding cover over the buttons is cute.Ok ok, next there’s the energy prisons. I assume they work on ZPE since they’re able to suspend victims in mid-air? I literally shouldn’t be so excited about this thing but I can’t even get over how ingeniously HORRIBLE they are. I mean I don’t want to get into any details, cuz if I do I’ll go into scarily gruesome territory but those things are terrifying. They work with almost any sort of super he could possibly be keeping prisoner with such a pretty simple idea really, just by suspending them against their own weight. The only fault in them really is that Violet can get through them, but he may not have necessarily known that beforehand since I doubt he had any force fields to test them on (or at least any “organic” ones).Implementing the monorail system is such a perfect idea too!! It makes it easy to get around, keeps guards from getting lost, works on all terrain, and keeps supers from seeing things they don’t need to see, so long as they stay on the tracks they’re supposed to be on.And speaking of hiding, while not technically tech related, I don’t know if he knows about the KRONOS carved in the cave, but I bet you he does know about that cave and all the other hard to reach areas of the island, since there’s an I2 deleted scene that shows he knows how Gazerbeam died, and the guards know to split up to catch Dash in one of the caves. Also related to Kronos, I like to make fun of his computer room for it’s impractical at best, dangerous at worse design, but listen. The security system. It’s brilliant. He’d have to engineer some sort of substance that stays compact and non-sticky while not in use, but that can quickly expand and maintain its strength to capture intruders. And the victim would still have to be able to breathe through them too?? And like how do they come off?? I’m sure that’s an interesting process too. The “fire randomly” approach is also interesting, since it pretty much leaves no escape. And what about under the walkway??? Like what’s way down there??? I don’t even have a theory for that, really. And and and how does the security system for that room work? Does it recognize unfamiliar noises perhaps, since it was triggered by Bob’s suit tracker, cuz if it were triggered by just random noise, I’m sure Syndrome or Mirage would have accidentally triggered it before. Oh, also also also x3 the computer screen automatically shuts off once the security system is activated, which is a nice touch, so that the enemy can’t get any more info as soon as the system is notified. Having only one way in and out of the room is clever too.I JUST WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT NOMANISAN’S SECURITY PROTOCAL OKI wish we had seen more of the technology that he used for Mirage’s message too. Like, he obviously uses the voice matching and scanning technology on the island (the security bird and life probe) but what about that illusion effect on the tablet?Also I mean, I’m sure being an arms dealer during the Cold War in itself has got to be extremely lucrative, but that doesn’t even account for how high tech his other weapons that weren’t mentioned must be.Ok, ok I think that covers all of his other inventions. I haven’t talked about the Omnidroid yet because hooo boy do I have some things to say about that beautifully terrifying piece of tech. I love that he used an iterative process on it to build upon its design (also the idea that he respects the strength his self-proclaimed nemesis enough to build up the robot to prepare to fight him), and I’ve actually gone back and tried to figure out the reason behind the changes he made in each iteration. And listen. How long do you think it took him to build and test all those robots? A few years maybe? Nah son, using the movie’s timeline, I’ve calculated that if he were working at a consistent pace throughout the project, it’d take FOUR MONTHS. 10 highly advanced ai robots. Fully drafted, programmed, built, and tested in 4 months. Oh and did I mention HE CREATED AI. LIKE ACTUAL AI.And his control over the Omnidroid (at least Omnidroid 9 anyway) is brilliant too. He’s got perfect control over it, and the reason I bring that up is because Omnidroid 10 tried to kill him. I’ve spent a long time wondering why he had perfect control over 9 but 10 disobeyed him, and my conclusion is that he implemented some new code in 10 that would make it act more destructively, thus making it more difficult to control but he never actually expected it not to listen to him because he didn’t actually test it on the island since, uh, having a 10 story tall rampaging robot on the loose near your base isn’t a good idea. I also headcanon that 10 was built to self destruct when defeated so that no one could trace its origins back to Syndrome had he won and been considered a hero.With that long ass section out of the way I’d finally like to bring up that if Syndrome did indeed create all of these inventions, that’d made him a computer programmer, aerospace engineer, possibly a civil engineer, a chemist, the inventor of harnessing infinite energy and ai, and thats only what I can think of off the top of my head.Another one of my favorite things about Buddy is that I love how easy it is to imagine him as a way more fleshed out character than he really is. On multiple occasions I’ve heard other people say that he seems like someone who would love conventions, or probably be an internet troll, and other things of that nature that relate more to his interests and personal life. I mean sure, anyone can headcanon anything for any character, but the way people headcanon Buddy just feels very… natural? Very fitting? Like, he’s a character that’s very easy to imagine having a life and hobbies outside of his evil schemes.Another little interesting thing is how he’s pretty much his own downfall. I mean sure a lot of his losses can be attributed to the Parrs defeating him in some way, but his most glaring faults are usually things that he could have prevented had he acted a little differently or planned a little differently. I dunno I just think that’s interesting for no particular reason.And one more thing I haven’t really discussed/seen discussed as much as I really think it should because it’s an interesting part of his character is does he see himself as a hero or a villain? And There are some interesting interpretations to that question as well. For example, if he views himself as a hero it’s probably because he doesn’t believe that superheroes are actually good people at heart, and that they just put up a facade of being kind and helpful to the public, which he uses to justify his atrocities. Or perhaps he legitimately does see himself as a hero for wanting to give normal people the opportunity to be super, or maybe he thinks that he’s doing a service to the world by killing off the people who are simply putting up that facade of good, or perhaps he sees himself as a victim deserving of a “redemption.” And if he sees himself as a villain, maybe he doesn’t understand or want to acknowledge the full weight of his actions, because it’s all a game to him, or maybe he does see himself as a bad person beyond redemption, so he decided that being a supervillain was fated or required of him. Regardless of which idea he believes, it’s obvious that Syndrome very much so lives (and has always lived) in his own fantasy world where things do play out exactly like how comic books do, and that his actions have no real weight to him (except when he feels like he’s been wronged, because he views himself as the protagonist or antagonist of the “story” aka making his own emotions relevant “plot points,” even if no one elses’ emotions (except maybe Bob’s) have any importance to him) because it’s all a comic book in his mind.Anyway there’s my nonsense rant

[surviveatitlan]

Episode 1 - Soy perezosa y estoy cansada. Quiero morir. - Emily

Jay Bee

I'm on a tribe with only people who've played in Athena. So. I'm gonna be first boot CONFIRMT! I was like 'cameron don't cast anyone I hate like [redacted], [redacted], or [redacted]' but honestly honey! this is worse! I've hosted everyone in this cast except like 4 people. So. Hell. Okay so initial early tribe assessment: Alex: really strong player, kinda scary kinda gentle. likely first boot if we lose. Rebecka: thats my queen! if she votes me out i'll say thank you. im hoping to work with her and timmy since there's the himalayas connection Autumn: is a winner but tbh not that threatening Timmy: don't know him that well, which hopefully means I can work my social charm Dynamics could be a mess since its 3 girls/2 guys, 3 himalayas/2 not,  2 people ive hosted/2 i havent, etc. Intersecting. Very intersecting already 15 minutes in.

Madison

Okay first of all FUCK YOU for 4 tribes of *5*?! How am I supposed to survive this? Although Bryan is here THANK GOD. and Dan is here which could be good although idk if he’s over how dirty I did him in Mongolia. 

Olivia

Helllo!!! HOLY SHITBALLS THIS FUCKIN CAST WHAT THE HELL!!!!! I’m good friends with Sammy who is on my tribe so that’s cool and I like francie. I’m playing against jay?!?!?! Not cool!! Never wanted that to happen she’s my host mom I don’t wanna compete against her 😂❤️ Also heather and Tim are here wtf!!!! Omggggf ahhhhhhhsnakdbsa. So many iconic players I hope I can skate by without being seen as a massive target 

Allan

Looking at the cast list I know literally no one lmao. The only person I recognise is Madison who i played a mini with and we literally sent two messages to each other. I'm hoping that not knowing anyone might work in my favour because it means I'm willing to work with anyone. I just really need my tribe to win this first immunity because I fear that I won't have time to form any bonds if we lose and I might be a first boot.

Timmy

I'm screaming, why is this cast so iconic. Like this tribe is amazing and I have no idea what will happen if we have to go to tribal. Here are my initial thoughts on my tribe: Alex: We have only talked socially in groups, never one on one, but he is cool. Autumn: Love, an icon, a true fave, but also a dangerous player because she is sneaky but if I can get her on my side now, I should be fine for a few rounds. Jay: Queen, another icon, love. This is the first time we have ever really talked but she is one of the nicest people in this community and I want to work with her. Just have to be wary if her, Emily, and Francie get on a tribe together because they will be a power trio (an iconic one, but a very dangerous one). Rebecka: Oh god, seriously another icon. This tribe is too good, she is a strong player and strategic. We need to win immunities when in this tribe because this is a strong group of people and who knows what will happen if we have to go to tribal.

Dan

I'm just saying this rn. If I end up on a damn tribe with Alex Crooks, I might lose my mind. He irritates me beyond belief and I really don't want to put up with him. I'm super happy I really only know Madison on my tribe because I want to make new connections with people and not be stuck with the people that I play every game with all the time. I've had it with Emily and Francie joining games together. I love them so much, but like byeeee. I feel like I won't make it far in this game bc of who is in it, but such is life! 

Heather

Wow such a pretty cast but im playing with 3 people who have/are hosting me so this should be fun. And who's bright idea was it to put me on a tribe with Emily. Like we are the same person and I love her to death. I have wanted to work with her for so long and now we get the chance to. AND A FEW OF MY LOVES ARE ON OTHER TRIBES. And Annmarie is here with me on whatever the tribe is called so IOS pride. Ive been talking to Brian Brian and hes so chill i love it.  And Jacob the lip sync king. Im excited omg this cast is beautiful. 

Francie

okay so four tribes of five ppl? oh wowie thats something I havent done before. less people = less connections to make at first but when you'd have to go to tribal? oh, that'd be tough bc less room for variety and like alliance and stuff with low numbers is just...yeah. I might add olivia and julia to something then? I guess? I mean off the bat, all four of them seem good but I know more about olivia and julia (not a ton about how they play in game tho asjdhhaf) on other tribes, emily, jay bee, and tim are out there somewhere like holy cow my mom, my best friend in the community, and my son? in the same game with me? damn cam, good call separating us like this. imagine if we all made merge together.... this challenge?? a duolingo spanish challenge??? holy shit my time has COME not only do I have the time tomorrow to dedicate to this but I actually have the skills to do it!!! like,, really reasonably well!! some on the other tribes too, probably, but I'm extremely confident about this already

I forgot just how basic basic spanish is I feel like it's day one of freshman year again 

what if i just do it, make an alliance tonight. its a small tribe gotta make connections quicker.....

cam sending a message about adding hosts to alliance chats? could someone already be making one. hf, im gonna go for it

I did it I made an alliance with julia and olivia already and if it goes south by any chance, oh well I called it 2 and a half gals ajsdhjasld

I'm anxious about everything so ofc im anxious about making an alliance s o soon but also its a small tribe so I need to get together with some people bc if I wait to long i could get hecked over so...

I think this tribe call is the chillest tribe call i've been on ajlhdkgflsahjd

Emily

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8vgwmkpLEc

Bryan

WHATS UP BITCHEZZZZZZ IM BACK AFTER CRACKTOA FOR SOME LAGO DE A TITTY LAND!!! WOOO!!! THANKS TO CAMERA FOR HOSTING ME!! Honestly looking at this cast. I’m 150% sure this cast will tear each other a part because there is so many people here known for being snakes and being messy and it’s just gonna explode. But anyways. My tribe: Madison: omg I literally love this girl so much. Bless up that she was casted. She’s one of my best friends in this community and I know we can work together. Tim: I’ve been able to play with him for like 2 rounds in another game but he was very pleasant to talk to so I’m excited to be playing with him again. Alann: no idea who this person is. Dan: he hosted one of my games before. We didn’t really talk much but he seemed nice. Overall. Super pumped for this game!! I’d try and go over people on other tribes but that’s honestly too much work. Bye for now! 

Tim

So the cast seems increadibly strong and seeing everyone be so iconic makes you wonder which person is about to be the first boot. Not me! Also the tribes are SOOOOO small its scary. 5 people? Rip laying low. Even the hosts were like make an alliance of 3 to keep majority lmfaooo. 

Madison

This video makes it seem like I’m dragging Allan. I would like to clarify tha lt I think Allan is a lovely person. Otherwise: https://youtu.be/-qEd8D76iL4

Bec

https://youtu.be/E_RvgCg5qXw

Dan

So we're safe from the first tribal! Yassss. Which is good because I really haven't talked to many people on the tribe. Jus the cordial how's the weather bullshit, ya know. I really like don't see myself getting super far in this game just based on who is cast, so I'm just gonna have fun and too my best! WOO! *high kick* Anywho, I'm sad the love of my life Beckka isn't safe this week :/ I hope the devil incarnate Alex Crooks goes this round. I've had it with his ass. 

Bec

-i knew we were gonna lose -i refuse to go home -jay told me to make an alliance with whoever i want with her so me her autumn lets go -need to talk to timmy -alex just added me and i realized we hadnt spoken yet and yikes

Francie

we won the immunity!!!! woo!!! our tribe came in second and I pulled so many points out of my ass. es muy bueno

Tim

We actually won with the highest score woo!! The challenge was honestly pretty fun yet challenging luckily Madison had some knowledge of Duolingo that helped us. Wooo our tribe [insert name]

Emily

We barely missed tribal... lmao I fucking hate this challenge. Soy perezosa y estoy cansada. Quiero morir.

Timmy

This sucks. Alex already messaged me saying “can’t wait to go home” because he got the lowest score and just added two other tribe members. I don’t really want him to leave though. It’s just really difficult because this is such a good tribe. Just hoping the fact that I’ve already been talking to everyone will help me out going into the tribal council, because I do not want to be the first person to go.

Madison

BOOM BOOM BOOM LEMME HEAR YOU SAY WAY HOOOOOOO BC WE WON IMMUNITY!! Tribe morale +1000! I love us! 

Heather

We got 3rd place, but Aye no tribal. Guess that means FORM RELATIONSHIPS YAY. There has been no talk of an idol system yet, so I def want to get to the bottom of that soon. ahh Im going to bed...

Bryan

Haha. Bilingual kings and queens only on my tribe woo! I’m sooooooo happy that we got first place in the challenge!! Like. Hopefully this is much different from krakatoa where I went to almost every single tribal council pre merge. *shakes violently while having flashbacks* but honestly. Tribe morale is up which is sweet! No real new updates is relations I think. Only that I’ve found out that Allan ends 80% of his messages with “haha” 

Jacob

WE DIDN'T LOSE HELL YEAH!! ... but I'm kinda crying inside because no matter who leaves we lose a legend )': But HEY only 18 people stand between me and victory so woohoo <3

Jay Bee

listen i am so hungover at a panera right now but I DONT WANNA BE FIRST BOOT!! this four tribe bullshit better go away in another round or two or else i’m going premerge which i h9. i dropped some hints to put alex on the bottom day 1 but i’m hoping like rebecka and autumn are with me. we made an alliance so hopefully they’re With It

AnnMarie

Wow. This game started off a bit oddly, especially with all of my inactivity the first day. Despite that, I'm shocked at how the first immunity challenge went! My first immunity challenge ever in soarsa ended badly because of inactivity, but this time we are safe and I get to relax a little and get to know some of the people I'm playing with. Heather is incredible and Emily is so sweet. I trust Brian and Jacob and I wish we communicated more. The tribe is a bit more quiet than I'm used to, and I hope we bond more. I feel very good about this game especially since it's set in Guatemala. If a lot of the hints and challenges are in spanish, I think that I'll be breezing through. Hopefully I can use my knowledge and language to leave an impression on the people and the game itslef. Cheers to a good game!!

Sammy

YES, WE MAY NOT HAVE GOT 1st BUT TIME DID SO GOOD AN I AM SO PROUD OF THEM. I HAVE NOTHING JUICY YET:( our first call was kinda awkward but the dog managed to entertain us. Anyway yeah I’m super pumped to work with everyone! 

Autumn

Omg I love and hate the lake already haha. I really like the cast and my tribe but the game is off to a rocky start since we lost the Duolingo challenge. I know it's not my fault but I feel like I made a huge miss steak. WHY DIDNT I JUST USE GOOGLE!!! I'm proud of myself for earning so much xp in such a short amount of time but I made it so much harder on myself and easily could've gotten those extra 300 points that would've put us in 3rd place. It's ok though Atitlan is lit and we shall overcome

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/koror-blog-org/images/1/1c/Reaction2.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150624035411

ALSO I LOVE MY TRIBE!!?! It really feels like a wholesome beautiful Athena reunion and seeing Jay and Timmy again is awesome. And then Rebecka is bae so you really can't go wrong. She created an alliance with me, her, and Jay and I stan. Mothers and Daughters is making merge y'all heard it here first. We're all voting Alex and I feel bad but I'm relieved because he's been super inactive and hasn't even added anyone until now so maaayyybbe it's not the worst thing. After this Atitlan has to be rock solid so if Alex is already the odd one out we might as well make it official

Olivia

WE WOOON WOOHOO!!!! I got the best score out of anyone, which is cool in a way but also could be perceived as threatening. I can see the same path that I went down on isle of skye spread out so clearly in front of me and I’m trying to change that. Fuckin tribe mates wouldn’t stop praising me and being so nice and calling me queen when I really didn’t want them to. I tried to deflect because I do NOT want to be seen as the leader again. That’ll probably just lead to an early merge demise once again. Idk how to stop it tho! Julia wasn’t going to be able to contribute much so I just tried to do as much as possible to make up for her and francie and nick were not that far behind. I regret sending my XP score I thought everyone would but they didn’t. I like 4/5 people on the tribe going to tribal so I hope it’s the fifth that goes hope (alex) but while it would break my heart, getting out one of the 4 icons on that tribe would make my life easier. Francie seems to be my closest ally at this point but also Sammy. But idk if I trust francie completely like she’s made it so far on Mongolia and did an awesome idol play and shit and she’s obviously really good at the game. However that could mean that if I’m her closest ally that’s good for me! But emily is also in this game and everyone knows how good she is. And also her and francie are f4 in Mongolia right now and seem to be closely working together so that poses a serious threat to me being francie’s #1. It’s going to be weird playing with heather and Tim because I’m good friends with both and would love to work with them but if I blindside them/they do it to me would it affect our relationship? I’d like to think no. AnnMarie and I left on super great terms in ios so there’s potential there. And then there’s Madison who everyone and their goddamn mother has worked to apologize and appease her in the reunion chat for voting her out but it’s like girl COME ON you could try to be a little less bitter about it. I never once apologized and tbh I do not regret voting her out in the slightest and I hope I get to do it again this game! I know some people viewed it as a not smart move but it was helpful to us and boosted our confidence and whatever! Doesn’t matter anymore. But I know she still holds a grudge towards me somewhat and I’m gonna either get my throat cut by her or work with her so we’ll see how that goes. And there’s also jay, my host mom. Idk man she said she’s here to play and play without limits or hesitation and I feel a really close bond with her but I know that has to be set aside for the game. There’s people here I’m totally sure she’s closer to so I’d have to appeal to her on a game level on why we should align. But maybe we won’t. On one hand, she said this is the last one she’ll be playing for awhile and I’d LOVE to see her win and do great because I love her and want her to do well as my friend!! On the other hand I want her to go pre-merge on a tribe I’m not on so that my biggest emotional threat and also probably the biggest threat in the game can be gone without the blood on my hands. I’m just glad I won’t be first boot. If our tribe goes to tribal it’ll probably be nick but it may be Julia because of the challenge but who knows about the next one! Could be me lol (knock on wood) Sorry for popping off there it had just been awhile lol

Also there are people in this game that are WAY bigger threats than I am so that’s reassuring. I just gotta make sure I play that up and conceal myself more than I did. So far, not doing great at that lmao 

Emily

Listen I love jay but I’m praying she goes pre merge

Brian

I don't know where the fuck I stand in the game. People are fake so rip. GOod thing there is another inactive on my tribe. 

Allan

¡Ganamos el desafío! I'm so happy we didn't have to go to tribal because I have no alliances or anything. Tbh I like everyone so far. Tim has been talking to me a lot but I couldn't really see myself going far with him so I guess we'll see how it goes.

Tim

My senses are telling me that me and Madison are on the outs while Dan is the flip vote and Allan and Bryan are on the other side. Bryan just gives me... really bad vibes and we arent really clicking at all and I dont think he's even putting forth any effort in our convo. I just need to talk more with peeps.

Nick

CONFESSIONAL ABOUT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME So we are doing cast reveal and I’m like omg I’m friends with a lot of these people. But when we get on our tribes I DONT KNOW ANYONE. And I’m like crapp 1) the newbies are outnumbered 2) I already have enough problems with people I know now I have to make new relationships, which I have no problems 3. All of my friends have been split pretty much even in each tribe 4. THERES only 5 peopleeee. Like I do worse with tribes with less people But my tribe is very freaking active and I’m super excited to hopefully slay the game

Heather

My tribe isn't speaking that much, which sucks. But it could be due to us not having to go to tribal. I have spoke to Annmarie however, trying to form a tight relationship with her. Since we failed at that in Isle of Skye. I think we are cool and are into working together, even though last time we did, we wasted her idol together.

Nick

Confessional About After the challenge So the challenge was DuoLingo AND I LITERALLY Completed the whole thing in 24 hours #SpanishSkillsUnite Because our tribe was in it too win it, like half of us finished the whole thing and one came really close Like we freaking slayed And the best part is For once I don’t have to go to first tribal in an org. Thank god

Alex

I think I got handled a bad deck with this group. I’m not the most active and I sucked in the challenge. Just not the best combo for me

Alex is voted out 4-1 and round 2 begins.

[planner4therevolution-blog]

Full Interview w/ Laurel Butler

The spark for Planner 4 the Revolution began at a community organizing event entitled, “Calling It In: An Organizing Meeting + Workshop Space to Figure Out How to Talk About White Supremacy in the Context of the Election.” This event was an inspiring day full of hard truths, good tips and heavy listening. The impetus for “Calling It In” started with a text the organizer received while she was getting her hair touched up with our very own Lauren VonLipstick. So, in full circle style we offer an interview with the woman who put us in motion… community organizer, LA feminist rock staple, professor at UCLA, and general badass, Laurel Butler. Interviewed right in the chair where it happened.

------------------

“Call in the vibes, try to influence the outcome with magic. And then it turned out Satan did make something happen.” - LB

-----------------

P4R: How did the idea for “Calling It In” come about?

LB:  “So, at like 1 in the morning, my husband and I were like in a trance, and I was like we have to go to CVS, so we got in the car and I bought a packet of bad Clairol discount black hair dye, this is literally the only thing that makes sense to me right now. Is like this act. I think it was part teenage punk rock Laurel, being like, what do you do in response to fascism? Dye your hair, obviously, ‘cause that’s the thing. But also just this thing of like, I am going to be a different person now and I need to demarcate that somehow. And like do it in a way that’s a daily reminder. For the last month I wake up everyday and I’m like, hmm what’s the world? Oh right, fascism.

Of course, I did it at like 2 in the morning in like a PTSD state. So of course I woke up the next morning to go to work and was like oooh, that looks bad.”

It was during a subsequent touch up with Lauren that Laurel received a text from her band’s (Cassandra) drummer, “What are we going to do specifically about White Women? You’re an organizer? What do we do?”

“Well we make an event. I think I was texting her while Lauren was back there mixing up the color and I was like Lauren, concept. Let’s have big event that’s how to talk to other white people about white supremacy within the context of the election. Lauren was like, mmm hmm. Here’s my email, let’s do that.”

At this point in the interview we talked about assets based organizing, the idea that everyone should do the thing that they are already good at or inclined towards. Are you an organizer? Great. Do that. Or do you like to do research? Great! Do that. For example: Laurel’s friend who helped her with the “Calling It In” event is a nurse, so when she gets home she enjoys reading articles. Whereas for Laurel, she’s part of academia and reads heady shit all day. When she gets home that’s the last thing she wants to do for fun. Especially reading fake news. So her friend curated a syllabus, another created an agenda, as Laurel worked to organize the actual event. They had a resource packet, an agenda, and an event with enough food and chairs for everyone.

Laurel passed her plans and documents through different pedagogues, and educators, and people who think about how people learn. A week later the event happened. Thus proving that you don’t have to do everything alone, asking your friends/colleagues/idols for help is good and often necessary.

There is a self-awareness to Lauren’s way of facilitating a group that invites you to notice power and privilege in a way that brings you to the point on your own. Which is partly illustrated in our comes through in our discussion about the power dynamics of lesson planning versus agendas, the difference between facilitating a good conversation and teaching.

“There is a venn diagram where those two things overlap in major ways. But I think that in lesson planning, I mean, also think it’s a false dichotomy, I think they can be the same thing. But I often, when I lesson plan, am looking at sort of objectives of what I want the people who attend my class to understand at the end of the day. If it’s a lesson plan that’s a little more didactic, it will often be something that I already understand. I teach in the Arts Education Department at UCLA, so maybe that day I want them to understand the idea of “scaffolding” in a lesson plan. I already kinda get that because I’ve been teaching for a long time. But I’ll construct a lesson plan that’s like great, these people are going to walk out of the room understanding something I already have a grasp of. “

“With this agenda I don’t actually have the answers of how to talk to people other white people about White Supremacy. So it’s an agenda that facilitates a space for all of us to learn. And that’s not to say what when I’m doing a lesson plan I’m like, I don’t need to learn at all in this one! I already know everything! That’s never the case. I always learn things. I think that’s one of the nuanced distinctions.

And also, if it’s a lesson plan, there is an assumption that everybody’s showing up in the room self identifying as a student. And that means that they can position themselves in a way that is predicated on some openness to learning and whatever learning means for you as a process. With an organizing agenda, people might not show up in the room feeling like, I’m here to learn. They might show up feeling, I’m here to do. I’m here to like, get tools, I’m here to be action oriented. So that is a nuanced difference too. I don’t know I’m curious also about it. And I often teach people who are younger than me. And so there’s a built in dynamic there because of age. That is not the case when you’re doing community organizing with peers”

Hey Readers! Pause for reflection: What do you feel like you show up in a room as? Like, what is your default and is it helpful to you? Could you show up as a student more? Show up as a doer? A teacher?

-------------------------

What’s giving you hope right now?

Lady bands, and the feminist LA rock scene. Also, youth culture and youth organizing with Standing Rock as an amazing example. And the Youth Justice Coalition here in LA as another amazing example. And another thing that is giving me hope is how much media is consistently coming out about mass incarceration and the abolition of the prison industrial complex I feel like that is becoming mainstreamed in a really major way and I think that is so awesome.

{watch 13th by the way, it’s on Netflix}

What is making you pop a vein right now?

The biggest thing is fighting in Facebook threads. If I could eliminate one thing in 2017… it would be Donald Trump. If I could eliminate two things it would be Donald Trump and the prison industrial complex. If I could eliminate 3 things it would be people fighting with each other in the Facebook comment threads. And I actually think that the third one is feasible, like just don’t do it. I just have a policy where if somebody starts to come at me in any way, in the comment threads I’m just like “let me know your phone number. I’d love to call you later and we can talk through this and have a conversation. But that mode of communicating I think is 100% ineffective. And is actually a strategy of the oppressors to try to distract us from the real work. It’s some smoke and mirrors shit and I’ve so had it.

Also I watched a video of Jennifer Lawrence in an interview with the BBC and she was telling a story about how she was filming in Hawaii and like her butt itched and so she scratched it on some sacred indigenous ancient stones and one of them got dislodged and rolled down the mountain and like almost killed one of her crew and she was laughing hysterically like it was the funniest story. And the white privilege just dripping on the whole scene made me also pop a vein. It was so gnarly and like there are so many things making me pop a vein, everything I read about Steve Bannon. But there was something about that one where it was so cloaked in Pop Culture and like as a culture maker and an artist, it’s like that is just as bad in my mind as almost more dangerous because its normalizing this white supremacist behavior and it’s almost worse because it’s not overt, it’s like coded.

What is something you’ve done since the election that makes you feel proud or like a badass?

“Calling It In” felt major because it helped me get past a lot of my own shit around perfectionism. I’m like a real perfectionist in the way I move through the world, and with this I was like this is too urgent, we don’t have time. You know what I mean? We need to get these tools out. We need to get things in the hands of people before Thanksgiving and to have that 2-week time frame, really activated me in a way where I couldn’t be paralyzed by a need to make it impressive, that’s another thing that I really succumb to. Like, is this going to be the most impressive toolkit in the history of communication theory? No. But is it going to help people do this work in a really urgent type of way? Yeah, I think so. So that felt really good.

I think the flipside of that coin is that I got to a point where I was like deriving a lot of purpose from doing invisible things. I was having the conversations that we had trained for in the workshop, but I wasn’t then like going back on Facebook and being like “I had a conversation today. Can I have some approval for being a good white person doing the work?” Nah, you just do it. I’ve really been thinking about what happens in the really invisible anonymous internal space of dismantling white supremacy in yourself. Where you’re just like I don’t need to announce this, I don’t need to broadcast this, I don’t need to do anything but feel a shift in me in terms of the way I move through the world and that has intrinsic value. So I think there’s been a lot of those moments where I’m like I’m gonna spend tonight just reading Angela Davis and I’m not going to fucking instagram the cover of the book. Do you know what I mean? I’m just gonna do it. And then I’m going to move through the world tomorrow having spent the night reading Angela Davis. And that is the thing. Like curing myself of my relationship to wanting to feel impressive or broadcasting. Or making choices about “broadcasting this is going to be helpful” because people need to know that phone banking for Foster Campbell is really important right now, you don’t need to broadcast this (other) thing because it’s just about you.

Developing a mechanism in myself where I can notice when I am spending more time posting about how people should phone bank than I actually am phone banking, it’s like check yourself.

Something you want to learn more about.

International Resistance movements.

It’s weird because when we talk about learning I automatically think I need to drop some like, fact. Did you know that these are the statistics? It’s weird because even though I’m an academic and a scholar, I don’t traffic in the realm of statistics and facts very often. I traffic in the world of culture and ideas more than anything.  And so I think the learning I’m trying to do is, is to situate this moment in like a global and historical context. And read about people who lived under Franco or under Pinochet. Or read biographies of Zapatistas. You know what I mean? To really understand what it is to embody resistance in a transcultural way and what we can learn from that. That’s something I’m starting to do a lot of scholarship about and that feels really useful. To understand that people have been doing this shit for so long in human history and all over the place. We’ve necessarily had to do it.

Something that you’ve learned about yourself.

I think the thing I learned in trying to put together “Calling It In” is about non violent resistance and non violent communication in the Civil Rights era. I sort of thought that I understood what that framework and posture was about. I saw Selma, I like get it! And then like really getting into MLK’s writing and understanding, there is this quote that he has about how non-violent communication is not passive it’s very active resistance to evil.

“If passive resistance means just passively accepting violence or injustice, if it means cowardice and stagnant passivity, then there is a difference, because nonviolent resistance does resist. It is dynamically active. It is passive physically, but it is strongly active spiritually.”  - MLK

Quote taken from an interview here  Similar quotes in Stride Toward Freedom

And these days this idea of shame, that’s a word in our psychotherapeutic wellness lexicon that has a lot of stigma about it. It’s like, oh shame, we don’t want to feel shame, but there’s this line that he has that is like, non-violent resistance is about awakening a sense of moral shame in the opponent. And that has been so useful to me. Because, when I’m engaged in one of these conversations I just believe sometimes that if you sat in a room for long even with with Mike Pence or my Trump supporting step dad or with whoever and just held a space with them for long enough so that they could hear themselves that they would break down with shame. I really believe that.

"Nonviolence does not seek to defeat or humiliate the opponent but to win friendship and understanding," King teaches. "The nonviolent resister must often express his protest through noncooperation or boycotts, but he realizes that these are not ends themselves; they are merely means to awaken a sense of moral shame in the opponent. ... The aftermath of nonviolence is the creation of the beloved community, while the aftermath of violence is tragic bitterness." MLK quote taken from here.

I think that you (Becky) and I work often with students who are in crisis in varying degrees. But there’s also another way to look at that word. I think people that voted for Trump are in a moral and ethical crisis. That they’ve done something that somewhere in their being they recognize that they have not acted in support of the highest human values of equity and justice. And that’s got to eat at their soul in some way.

This is like such a weird word to use but it’s really available to me right now. If we could be like the midwives for the birthing of that shame.

"An old world is dying, and a new one, kicking in the belly of it’s mother, time, announces that it is ready to be born. This birth will not be easy, and many of us are doomed to discover that we are exceedingly clumsy midwives. No matter, so long as we accept that our responsibility is to the newborn: the acceptance of responsibility contains the key to the necessarily evolving skill" - James Baldwin

What’s your preferred form of activism?

My preferred form of activism is music. Because I grew up as a punk in high school in the 90’s when the WTO was in Seattle. And it felt really clear to me that there was this tangible cultural effect. I think that the power of musical culture, the power of popular musicianship to influence collective psychology and to aestheticize the politic in a way that makes it embodied and makes it this lived experience. That there was something about having these people who I totally understood to be really profound political thinkers, when I was listening to Propaghandi whatever, I trust that these people are really incredibly educated, really understand the nuances of this political thing and they’re also telling me to wear a pyramid studded belt and a bandana and I’m gonna do it because that’s my personal resistance practice and it helps me. I think the line between performance and actually doing things is non-existent. And that’s been a part of my personal resistance practice right now. Is like dye my hair, wear camo everyday, do that because it cultivates in me an internal feeling of real resistance.

Because there’s so much that we can’t anticipate in terms of what’s going to happen next year, a lot of our work right now is like, spiritual. To kind of cultivate this internal state of solidity and resistance and clarity and steadfastness so that when the shitstorm comes we don’t get like sucked by the undertow. And I think that popular musicians kind of help represent a way of doing that. And I just know that in my fucking life, in my scholarship, those have been the people with the biggest impact. When you watch Bob Marley at the One Love Peace Concert bringing together the two heads of the opposing sides of the Jamaican civil war like shake hands on a stage in front of thousands of people. That just feels like the realest shit! Shaminism and politics and aesthetics and cultural organizing all intersecting at the same time.

Meanwhile, here’s Lauren just rocking her trade as we sit here. (as Lauren is slathering up Laurel’s Fighting Fascism Black hairdo)

What do you feel that you need prompting to do or that you feel uncomfortable doing?

I feel like I said, I’m not a statistician, I’m not inclined to facts, because I think the truth is kind of fuzzy and I sort of wish I had more of those available to me at my fingertips. But I need structure around that, around talking points and arming myself with those kinds of things because I’m not inclined towards that.

Something that I’m feeling a resistance to that I want to feel more inclined towards is being in spaces, I’m really comfortable in spaces with “people who agree with me” and I have skills in spaces who are on a completely different side. The place where I don’t have skills for is in like, in-fighting. In being in an organizing meeting where someone will say, “Well the problem with all of us progressives is…” and it starts to get internally toxic, I feel like I don’t quite yet have skills for how to be in that conversation and not let it shut me down. Like as soon as that happens I’m like, this isn’t the space that I want to participate in. And that really sucks because I think that  everybody needs a kind of healing, so at what point do I set boundaries?

I think I could use education around political processes. Because I think that this election made us lose so much faith in those processes. And so now all of these outcomes and action items, that are like well if you’re frustrated in this specific sub issue, vote. And it’s like … we did that. We tried to do that and it just proved itself not to work. So I think that is less about activism and more about some sort of like renewed faith in the electoral process. That is something I’m curious about trying to cultivate.

I’ve been thinking about the difference between a community and a scene, and really feeling like we need community right now. But I often feel like I’m showing up to something thinking it’s going to have more of a community ethos and it feels more like a scene. And I think that the semantic distinction is fuzzy but it’s something about this need to impress people. And a community is a place where you don’t need to impress anyone. And a scene is a place where you kind of do.

In the last month I’ve found myself in a lot of different organizing spaces. I went and phone banked for standing rock right across the street here and it was so community oriented,  there were points of entry and points of access for everybody. If you’re really comfortable doing this sort of work do this, if you’re comfortable doing that kind of work do that.

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Groups and resources you’d like us to shout out…

Women’s Center for Creative Work: They have a variety of workshops all the time but make sure to check out… Making Art During Fascism – Sundays 1-3pm.

“The woman (Beth Pikins) who runs it is a super amazing resource for artists who need to continue their practice in a way that is situated inside this moment. They I think are an example of community in that way I was talking about before where there’s like points of entry for anyone. They also house the Feminist Library on Wheels (FLOW) which I a great resource bank if you’re like I know I need to read something, don’t know what it is, just head over there and they’ll help you find the thing that you’re looking for.

SURJ - Showing Up for Racial Justice whose LA contingent is White People for Black Lives

I’m really interested in Shaun King’s Injustice Boycott. On the one hand there is not the level of transparency that I’m used to in community organizing and on the other hand I respect him so much that I’m finding ways to participate in it that feel really authentic to me and useful. And I think he represents something really exciting. And I think he represents ways that we can have questions about an initiative and still participate in it. Because if we just go into something whole hog behind anything with a leader in front of it then we’re not maintaining our own critical faculties. And we also really need leaders.

How do you feel about the need for a central icon? A Malcolm X? A Martin Luther King Jr? How do you feel about that kind of icon? Is that something that we are missing?

I am more interested in a coalition that feels like it has kinship and comradery to it. I would love for a statement to be released by Shaun King and Patrisse Cullors and Alicia Garza and Beyoncé and Barack Obama and Michelle Obama. All hanging out in a room together, having had a meeting. That’s what I’m really interested in, is icons who are like, we do different kinds of work and we represent different things but we all agree in this particular ethos. That’s something that I’d be really excited about. Because, I believe in icons. I believe on the people on the ball here and the power they have.

I think that we also live at a different time now where icons are everywhere. So I think that’s part of the reason that I’m interested in the idea of a coalition because I think it can model ways of being for the rest of us.

Taylor Swift, so problematic, like the worst AND I think that there was a moment where her performance of social identity, in terms of, I have this big group of girlfriends and it includes Lena Dunham, also so problematic everybody’s problematic, but the idea that an icon was embodying this model of sisterhood and like I roll with a big crew of women. That I think was Taylor’s one important contribution to the zeitgeist. Because we have this idea with icons, especially in gendered terms, we have this idea that men can be in bands but women either are solo acts or there’s like one with two backups. The role of the individual and the ego is problematic. So for Taylor to be like “we roll as a collective”, I think that was important. Celebrating the idea of sisterhood feels important to me.

We’re doing it! We’re witching out right now. And I think that’s back to the idea that there’s a point of entry for everyone. Y’know, we can’t do it all alone. I couldn’t have done “Calling It In” all by myself. But I kind of had to serve as the figurehead of it to make it happen. Solange does a great job of that, she does her performance work and at every moment acknowledges that she’s part of this collective. Cassandra’s trying to do that, to make sure that we always represent ourselves as a collective. That’s a culture shift. And it’s very feminist because it demystifies this myth of personality and individual success which is neo-liberalist capitalism. This idea that one person can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and do it all. No.

It takes a village…

Exactly. And, it takes a white privilege village to make one person believe that they can be individually successful.

Any art that you are enjoying?

That was the one thing about 2016 that was good. The albums that came out were so good. I mean, the Knowles sisters obviously made amazing things. I listened to Frank Ocean’s Blonde so much this year, I couldn’t stop, it’s like post-structural lyrical thing that was going on that really satisfied me. And also David Bowie’s last album and Leonard Cohen’s last album, and listening to all of the dearly departed has been really important artistically.

Lately, right now I really love music videos as a format. I think they are really healing and magical. In their short amount of time they can work their spell on you and I would say the music videos that are really working their spells on me right now are, there is a video out right now by a guy named Boogie – and the name of the video is, N—ga Needs. And there’s a video by Moses Sumney who’s an amazing artist called “Worth It” that’s really incredible. And also Anohni released a series of videos that has famous artists lip syncing to her songs that’s really incredible. And those 3 videos all really centralize the black body in the videos, in ways that are really powerful and really vulnerable at the same time. And I think that that is deeply important right now. When we’re talking about how are we going to do the work of dismantling racism in this country, like until we have just this hugest breadth of work in the broadest complexity of their human experience, and I think that power and vulnerability are two examples of that, that’s a big step.

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What do you think HRC is doing right now?

The first thing I thought of is her painting her nails. But like a color that Rhianna would wear. Or she’s hiking. Or she’s like eating something alone by herself and deriving tons of pleasure out of it. I’m a vegetarian, but I picture her eating like a roast chicken, the kind that you get at the store

Picking through the carcass

Yeah like with her hands! And she’s like this chicken is fucking delicious. That’s what I want. That’s what I think she is doing right now.

And really what she’s probably doing is some amazing policy analysis. Reading some piece of literature the rigor of which none of us could possibly apprehend. But I hope she’s eating a chicken.

What do you think Donald Trump’s doing right now?

Oh he’s cryyying. He’s crying naked and alone in the shower. He’s crying naked and afraid. No doubt about it. I’m 100% certain that that’s exactly what’s happening right now.

Thank you so much for the conversation Laurel, see you at more resistance events and music shows.

Calling It In: Resource Guide and Toolkit https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/0B16agwBiAyNtaGR6TmJYb3RWeVU

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 1 - “...They’re actually all backstabbing nasty bishes. Like me.” - Liana

Nic

god i cant wait to spiral out of control by episode 2 and become a mess and go off 

anyway im also here to redeem myself from Dead Sea and channel the mastermind queen Misty 

Liana

You put Jaiden on a tribe with me and he says I have beef with him when all I want to do is move on. I really wanna not get stressed out by this game much so I hope there's not unnecessary drama. So far I love this game because it's not One World and I've started conversations with Dana, Nicholas, Trixie, and Nic. That's probably enough for tonight right? ugh I really with I was with Jay! I hope I make it far enough for a tribe swap because I like working with Jay and think he's a stand-up hero.  Everyone seems nice so far but I feel so in the dark about what they did to become villains since I haven't really been involved in the community in a while (and let's face it, even when I am, do I ever pay attention).  So it's scary that everyone is of course so nice when they're actually all backstabbing nasty bishes. Like me. 

Akito

I feel like I could make friends in this game. I need to build up the jury of friends that I know will vote for me in the end. I mean like 11th is another story I am here to play the game and hope that I don't goat around. I know 4 Koh sai members are in a tribe but that is big of a number for me. I am gonna try to talk with people to make them not vote for me and hope that I am not the one getting the boot. If i have to throw Koh Sai under the bus for my own safety, then I will.

Jaiden

[5:20:06 PM] jAIDEN: oh look another game quillyn Zach Nicholas and Trixie will run also dana

Jake

this tribe is def. interesting like it seems some people know each other which could be bad for me, because they can be closer to each other off the bat, however there also seems to be rivalries and i could use that to my advantage, i hope to be a dominant challenge tribe! Also that idol clue seems to have been useful with the whole snorkel thing, i think it pertains to a location being dived under so 36 hours till i can search!

Bryce

Okay so right away I'm talking to Quillynn Kelsey and Adil. Quillynn and I worked well together last season so that' good! And Kelsey seems cracked but iconic. And Adil is nice! I talked to Akito too since we were together last season so maybe that'll be good. Plus I know Chips so hope thats something. Quillynn helped me find an idol clue too so thats good but I think I flopped too. This buff challenge seems hard but fun but im no artiSt.. But I'm confident we can slay!

Bryan

Omg!!! I’m so excited for this game! First confessional, WOO! So I’m on the hero tribe, huh? Gonna be honest I was expecting either tribe cuz I feel like I could be placed in both but I’m still very happy to be on the hero tribe. Three people have really left a mark for me. First quilLynn: she is super nice and I love her so much. So much so that I think she is probably doing this with other people. She will probably have a lot of allies quickly so I just need to stay wary of her but for now I like her! Next is Akito. Nothing special really happened just some good conversations! I would love to work with them! Next is Kelsey, she is a very...expressive person. Not to say I don’t like her. She is very nice, I just think she may be a bit too much for me sometimes. I’d still like to work with her tho and talking with her is pleasant! Other than that. I gave an idea for the buffs that people seemed to like so I’m proud of that. 

QuilLynn

Okay so i'm just coming off a win from last season and I'm so excited to be back!  I love my tribe so far, but there is definitely a problem. It is no secret that I know, and am GOOD friends with a chunk of the villains tribe, and although I want to play this season loyal to the heroes, I don't know if they're going to believe that, especially Jay. I'm trying to do my best in these challenges to at least secure my worth to this tribe. I want to get to know the players who I've never met before too so I can hopefully convince them to keep me and that I'm not a threat due to my villain affiliations. I also want to form a Koh Sai alliance with Bryce, Kelsey, and Akito. I love Kelsey but she's a slippery one! She'll lie to your face, laugh and write an iconic confessional all at the same time. I also found a hint in the rules about the idol search AFTER I had already looked, but I made sure to tell Bryce about it right before he was going to search and then submitted the hint to my host chat after hoping we might get lucky and find a second clue. I'm thinking that although the clue didn't help me directly, the snorkel I found might help me search for the idol in places I wouldn't have been able too before. 

Colin

OKAY so i'm determined to do better than dead sea, not just in placement but also in gameplay. my gameplay in dead sea fucking sucked but I'm already off to a better start!! i'm really excited to be on the villains tribe tbh because everyone is crackedt and exciting. HOWEVER i'm also a little nervous because the rest of the villains have a very..... strong personality. Also like 5 minutes in everyone was already fighting Jaiden so that was a mood. It can be easy for me to kinda blend into the background for the first part of the game, but I also don't wanna get lost in that and become an easy target. Like, I'm not nearly as insane as the rest of this tribe. whether that's a good or bad thing is yet to be seen! I was working my social game as much as I saw fit last night, I had really good conversations with Dana, Nic, and Zach. They're my three faves as of right now. Jaiden is an icon but idk how long he's gonna last on this tribe. Nicholas and Trixie are fun but i always have a tough time trusting them. Jake is nice but isn't standing out to me right now. Willa and Liana were mostly absent during all the first night excitement. Overall it's a strong tribe with interesting dynamics. I think there's a premade type thing with Zach, Nicholas, Dana, and Trixie so I have to watch out for that, and they have ties with QuilLynn on the heroes tribe so that's scary too. They can be a really strong force if they stick together. So yeah that's that on THAT. Wish me luck!

Adil

Just slowly getting to know every one here in the tribe

Akito

I just want to find an idol ;( I want to protect my bestie Jay <3 He's amazing and everything and popular. Despite people liking him but it's game but. Oh well you know. I am fine with Jay winning Atomic <3.

Trixie

there's no sitch bitch... yet

Ian

Christian, asked me if I was the Ian from Devil's Lair... Ain't nobody know me from Devil's Lair besides the people I beat in Devil's Lair, whose catfish is this?

Zach

hi hosts hehe I'm Zach. in this game, my plans are to target that weasel rat bitch Dana... she called me crazy and I don't like that so shes GOTS to go. hehe yeah

fuck my life i'm doing this alright i hate everyone, i'm clearly a hero amongst these villains but will that play out? very unlikely. rawr. xD literally i know like everyone except jake and [liana] on my tribe and so it's kind of an easy scenario but i wanna make this game POPPIN so lets shuffle the deck of cards and send these bitches home one by home but really like everyone on the tribe is a pickle except.. jake so jake's like... how would you say a carrot in a bucket of pickles but also nicholas smells and dana/trixie/willa are freaks tea time with zach

Christian

I guess I'll go ahead and do first impressions of my tribe mates. Adil - Still hasn't accepted my contact request lol, and I think they only talked once in the tribe chat since the game has started. Akito - I tried to make interesting conversation with Akito, but he's very boring to talk to. I would try to come up with interesting topics to talk about, and his only response would be "oh." or "that's nice.". So I just stopped messaging him completely. Bryan - We talked the first night for a couple of hours, and Bryan seems nice so far! Bryce - I just messaged him for the first time a couple hours ago, so I don't have much to say right now. Chips - We still haven't interacted one on one yet. Ian - Ian is the oldest on the tribe I think. We talked most of yesterday on and off, and I like him a lot so far. I think I'll end up talking more with him today. He's someone I'd love to work with tbh. I hate that I always wanna work with the guys in games but shrug. I just vibe more with guys, it's like that in real life too. Jay - Jay is the only person I "know" before coming into the game. We played in ihos and festive together. Both times we "worked" together. One minute Jay says I'm a queen and he likes me, and the next minute he talks shit about my friends and I ctfu. I've been off Skype for a few months, so who knows how he feels about me now. Kelsey - Kelsey is....interesting. Is all I will say. QuilLynn - I like QuilLyn a lot! She's someone I'd be interested in working with. Her and Kelsey honestly.

Willa

obligatory im on the wrong tribe confessional. jk but also yay Dana and Zach <3 I cant wait for the bahamas f3 to reunite except im julia and i win. Also Jaiden and Nick are here which is cute, but I don't know anyone else so hey everyone prob hates each other i'll be fine xoxo

Nicholas

i dont want to die first :(

Fajar wins Reward

Bryce

We lost but I'm not demotivated plus the villains buff' are good too and more importantly the hero version looks better :)

Later...

listening to fault out boy... i regret this is it worth it!

QuilLynn

So my buffs were way better, but we lost. Its REALLY hard to hold in my inner villain right now. I want to like scream at everyone, because thats just like the type of bitch that I am. I also am soo mad that we lost because like I’m at risk of leaving first due my dumbass friends on the villains tribe who I don’t even want to work with in this game!! So I need all the help I can get to win this immunity, but of course the judges were friends with the villains and we lost rip rip. I’m just hoping that my losing streak from last season isn’t continuing on djdhsbhs

Bryan

Man...it sucks that we lost the reward challenge. And it was so close too! Anyways. The immunity challenge is really fun! I was able to get a couple of them so I feel like I’m contributing to this immunity challenge and if we do end up losing it I won’t be a target.

Ian

Of course we lost the buff challenge, ours were good but the addition of the drag queens made the buffs not work. I get why Quill put them there but you need to realize that they're not being made for just you. I wanted to ask for them to be removed but I didn't feel like ruffling feathers. Especially since we will lose this immunity challenge.

Fajar wins Immunity

QuilLynn

I hate losing kjsdnvl I honestly think I'm probably a big target for my team right now. I mean I said I was going to do 2 of the 10 pointers and then didn't, but at the same time I'm still the only one who scored in the 10 point category. I hope that my tribe likes me, and sees that I'm here to help in comps and don't just try to take me out early because they're afraid I'll flip down the road. Wish your reigning queen luck at tribal <3 x

Jake

so to catch yall up between now and my last confession, i've made social connections with nic, trixie and will :) and though i haven't rly dont much challenge wise (whoops!) i plan on being a productive member when i can, otherwise imma be dead weight!! But yeah life is all good for the villians! Ugh annoyed that this idol is such a process, but i feel like im getting closer

Colin

YAS BITCH WE WON. A villain is WINNING this game. Mark my words!! but anyway i'm really happy bc I can talk to people more now. and it gives me more time to explore the lagoons. I'm feelin good right now. Let's hope I don't fuck it up.

Dana

Cracked Toe goals are to keep my confessionals short because jesus knows I wrote 7+ pages per confessional the last time Logurt hosted me. Being a crackedt ass bitch means you got a lot of thoughts tho so werk! Cast analysis you ask? Trixie/ Nicholas/ Zach- my hoes and also who knows how long I can actually trust them for. Putting all of us and Quillynn in a game? Problematique! Jaiden- Sapphire idol whom? Crazy king! But also I love him and like he fucking mists me I don't even know why because like..this boy doesn't know the truth. Liana/ Jake- Ehh. Liana tried to talk to me, seems nice, but not someone I'm craving an alliance with. Nic- Nice but like i accidentally started talking about my past game strategy with him which set up expectations my ass can't uphold. Willa- my love, but also probably won't work with me because bahamas happened and i snakes him out. Colin- I just want him to be my friend. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Other thoughts? Give me an idol because i'll have an entertaining aneurysm if you do. 

Jaiden

I don't really know what I'm doing exactly. I hate my tribe so that's what's going for me, but other than that I haven't done much and I don't intend on it. My position is pretty terrible lmao, but now that Ian has quit, it still gives me the opportunity to try and just survive until the next vote or something.

**Ian quits, and round 2 begins.**

[survivekohsai]

Episode 1 - Should We Just Call It A Day And Vote Out A Heterosexual Or What ~ Isaac

Okay so right away I like trixie! Shes funny and I think we'll work well together. RTP is cool too since he likes HAIM and all HAIM lovers are great. Its fun having raf back on my tribe since we played before but I want to make new relationships so I dont want to just default to him. I also played with Eric before but voted him out so awk i hope he doesn't hold a grudge!! Im liking the tribe tho but hating this twist so much. Im using my idol at the first tribal FDSKJFSDH but then what if I get voted next since i dont have one.

I'm really nervous because I don't know anyone that well on my tribe except for Logan, and they all seem to know each other. I'm gonna slap on a smile and pretend that I have confidence.

WOW I JUST GOT IN AND IM EXCITED!!!!! well ummm I like to say ummm that everyone having idols is like ummm a bad thing because... if everyone plays it but one person.... they be idol'd out umm... yea. and plus... I have to like keep myself safe somehow...

This tribe? Loving the concept. I want to work with Bryce because I know he's a sweet baby boy. He'll be loyal if I scoop him up first. Also, Trixie is as cracked as ever. I love that we all have idols. Guaranteed safety is a concept I love, but Trixie also told me she has an extra idol. Now, she might be lying since she said that Willow told her that one "houseguest" got an extra idol. This ain't Big Brother, and I would have preferred if she did not have an extra idol. She is straight up lying to me, but we'll see how it goes from here. Tonight is for forging bonds.

Okay, this season is cute as heck! I am gonna give a full tribal first impression. Akito: My boy, we work well together and hopefully that can continue here. Isaac: Tends to get medevaced but I still adore this sweet boy and I look forward to playing with him again Jackson: Very social initially! I see myself in him, he also just started college and yadayada. Kelsey: We've exchanged like 4 messages but nice enough Linus:  A GOOD BEAN WHERE DID HE GO IN HOENN WE JUST DONT KNOW Mo: Pun Boy tm, but this is my turf so we're gonna have to share that title QuilLynn: Listen. She likes adore Delano. that's all I need Tyler: HE DOESNT LIKE MY PUNS that's all, see ya later 

Love my tribe not doing much for the challenge! I got 9 of our 16 points so hope it shows that I'm trying. Although I only got 9 of a possible 18 possible points I could have gotten so yikes 50%! 

im shocked we won immunity i didnt do anything sooooooOoo I was busy checking to see if i was pregnant jk

People I've socialized with: 0 

We meet again Raffy... We. Meet. Again.

I love my tribe its so cute! Jackson is my friend from TS Ebola and I love him so much so yay! Mo is great I'm really glad Him me and Jackson could form a good group so early! Logan is great he guested a week in a BB i'm in and he was nice and said he's glad to be playing a game with me so woo! Tyler is nice so far but you can tell he is cocky af and I know even though he's new he's good at these games! I'm hoping we lose immunity, because I think I'd like to take tyler out asap, but if we win at least I know i'm not first boot. 

So like yay for reward. Like winning a competition? A concept. Now, I feel like sending RTP to exile was the best decision since he was not going to participate in the challenge, but sending Tyler there was also an added bonus. I've played with Tyler before and I do not really trust him. I do not want him to make merge or be on the same tribe as him. So like, he can go sooner rather than later. Finally, me vs. Mo? We love a hero/villain dynamic. :) 

We lost the reward challenge, it would of been nice to go to exile and date someone on the other tribe. We would of some funnnnnnn like bring out the margarita bring out the nachos and quesadilla with guacamole. Because it's about to get HOT in here!

ok so my tribe is cool except trixie...they are annoying...im over it...and i got to go to exile because im gonna be at a wedding....lol take that! 

so... we lost. yep. hoping to kill an inactive, hoping to not die. that's all

We won! Loving the concept! Being safe is such an icon and Willow is such an icon. Anyways, I plan on working with Bryce, Trixie, and Richie because they seem like nice people. Literally nothing else to say because no gameplay yet.

Oh god.... oh god no..... this is bad this is really bad

im trying to get richie to showmance me and then we can later on down the road suddenly find out we're cousins and i think that'd be pretty funny. also i love willow she is so sweet and I hope she has a fun time hosting

I'm literally so fucking gay and I just want a showmance like ???? I get here and the only people who I can legally attempt to seduce are Tyler and Mo? So obviously I pick Tyler because Australians are hot and Tyler looks hot and that's fun. So I was like "lol let's vote out a str8 yeah" and then Willow descended from the heavens on her hoverboard and was like "he str8 scum" and I can't believe I'm about to get voted out because I slandered heterosexuals.

Guess who might be using their Jordan Pines idol! THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!

Yay my tribe won immunity. Queens! I just hope that we can keep winning because I haven't talked to anyone. God I need a better social game.

" it will have juice and im living for juice" - Tyler 2k17 Heyo im alive! I was sent off to exile this round... And i came back with an Australian Super Idol! I was given the option to mutiny my tribe, but its a no from me, i tried convincing Ryan to come over but he has some sense in him so he didn't :(. The idol hunt was really intense, there was about 4 different clues leading other clues. It was an adventure and a half. So at 6am i found it! (With no sleep cause sleep is for the weak). Im not telling anyone about the advantage cause.... everyone's a ho. This whole tribal situation is very complicated with all the idols going around. I expect me to be a target this round so im 100% playing an idol considering i have two! I feel like if we just get 3 or 4 people to vote one person who won’t expect it we’ll be good it's hard because you want the vote to be unanimous so everyone feels included but this twist means we have to blindside someone every time Which means we might have to tell the person we vote for a name Yeah its going to be difficult But I bet the person getting the most votes will play an idol so if we just do our own little thing we should be good - My thoughts atm, also sent that to Jackson But now i think I'm going to vote for someone who would never guess that anyone else would vote for them, get rid of a juicy target while i can. Not sure if my vote will have any impact but it will have juice and im living for juice ;). No ones really chatting to me and im assuming most people will play their idols... so #YoloSwag

Yay we won reward!!! Happy to start off on a good note. Sad tho that regan striked. Hope she starts trying more. But I guess it would be nice to have an inactive to vote if we lost a challenge. Trying to socialize with 8 other people is hard but I think I'm doing alright so I hope I've made no enemies.

Tower 7 was a controlled demolition.

Hi there~! I'm Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson, coming to you live and IN full HD colour~! And, what else, it's time for a tribal! Going into the tribal, I was kind of groaning since I was fully expecting to be targeted but alas; I don't think it's going to be me! Now, don't get me wrong, I get that "as soon as you think you're safe, you're GONE!" and all that, but the drama doesn't seem to be circulating around me on tonight, and it's a welcome change! I think, for the most part, people are more set on letting Isaac get the boot tonight, which...eh. I tried throwing Linus' name out there but it seemed to get a bad reaction. Oh well. I still don't want to see Isaac Thunderf*ck go tonight however and this idol twist is very well placed to prevent that. I told Isaac he might receive votes tonight but, for the main part, it's between Linus and Tyler. I think Isaac really genuinely trusts me but I can't tell him he's the majority because...well, I'm actually being SPOKEN to! It's such a weird thing to happen to me, usually I have to do all the bone bashing for myself, but people are actually coming to ME and telling me options, it's uncanny! I don't want there to be any chance AT all of me losing those resources. Speaking of resources, if I had to guess who's puppermaster-ing at this point, I'd look over at lil' Jackson over there. I thought it was sweet and romantic that he wanted to talk to me about the vote and, don't get me wrong, it makes me feel swell but NOT swell enough to realize that the people he suggested to me were the very names everyone else seemed to have "heard" and not came up with themselves. For the most part,  I think my best option is just not...being Krazy Kels and blasting it, but sweaty, I'm only going to be calling Ms. Jackson if she nasty, you feel me? All in all, I'm feeling rather confident about tonight. Either Isaac goes and everyone feels comfortable with telling me plans; Tyler goes who's just...slimey. Or Linus goes! Who's basically just here for the food, I feel. Anyways, say goodbye to Derrick or Kim Chi. And THAT'S all there is to it~! Christmas was ROBBED! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my first Confessional. Okay so yeah about this tribe. Not sure how I feel. It's been helpful not having a One World twist (meaning I don't have an obligation to get to know the other tribe) but I haven't made a lot of connections here so it's kind of a wash. Quillynn is my babe and I hope people don't figure out how close we are (because I'm not turning on her anytime soon, that's for sure). Mo quickly pulled us in for an alliance, and while I like him, he's gotten a little attached to Tyler which is kinda messy. Akito is kind of strange but she's nice, and I think not many people talk to her so she's looking to work with me. I get paranoid vibes from Logan but otherwise I like him. Linus, Isaac and Kelsey have been barely active at all, which is problematic but it kind of makes me want them to stay over someone like Tyler (who I think is kind of a big threat). Either way we lost both challenges so that kinda sucks, although at least it means my friend Trixie is safe. Not that I don't want the other tribe to go to tribal at least once though. Any opportunity to finally vote Ryan M. out should be taken, as the students of Kvaloya learned the hard way. Oh by the way I hate this idol twist. I mean I'm probably gonna like it later on in the game when I want to vote out someone who's already used theirs, but for now, it sucks. The people I'm working with want to split the votes between Tyler and Isaac in case one of them idols, but I'm worried something could go wrong. Also it'd be awkward if Isaac went home and Tyler basically knew that he was the backup in case Isaac idoled (which is the truth of the situation, since Mo doesn't want Tyler out even though me and Q do). Okay I'm trying to get this done cause my friend wants to go to dinner so let's  end this here and hope I don't get voted out with like one vote lol

(Late)

okay yoooooo I’m here I’m still recovering from the trauma of my last game so my heart is still healing and I’m not running on full steam at the moment so i haven’t really talked to anyone theres no one on this tribe that i really have clicked with which kinda sucks but its mostly my fault for not speaking to anyone but also no one reached out to me either so they all suck too!!!! we won the first reward and immunity so things are looking good hopefully we can maintain this momentum so that i have time to build some relationships before things set off!

VOTING CONFESSIONALS

Tyler Kelsey voting you because both Tyler and Isaac are gonna play their idols. Maybe but this is a gamble and this vote is a throwaway. Might be me not gonna be surprised if it is everyone having idols is bad.

(Voting for Tyler)  Tower 7 was a controlled demolition

My vote tonight is for Isaac. I’m sorry love, I hope things work out for you <3

Tyler is a manipulative backstabbing little snake in the grass and while hes not masterminding now sweaty, tyler, it's your time to PACK

Logan - I don't know what the fuck is going on but I might as well throw my vote on somebody. Sorry dude. 

I will also be voting for Logan cause YOLO swag money get bitches 

Logan voted out (4) Tyler - (2) Isaac - 2 Logan - 1 Kelsey

Tyler, Isaac, and Linus idoled

Jackson, Quillynn, Linus, and Kelsey voted Tyler

Logan and Mo voted Isaac

Tyler and Isaac voted Logan

Akito voted Kelsey

[worldofsurvivorcomoros-blog]

RITES OF PASSAGE

Jay - Fuck you

Regan - Kage!!! I love you so much. you're an amazing person and you're iconic. but you had to go. I was in an alliance in the beginning with Karen, Drew, Logan, and Andie. Drew's sole mission was to get you out. And so we followed that and the alliance of us got you out. So sorry. You had to go to please Drew. 

Regan - I wish I got to know you better. You seemed nice and very new to the community. Wish you first real game could've been longer. (at least I think it was your first). Maybe we can talk after the game. But you were had to go next sorry

Regan - Bun- Sort of the same thing I said to aqua. I never met you before. never. I don't think I talked to you once during this game. I wish I had. You were probably a nice person. but like aqua, you were just a casuality in our alliance. 

Andrew - Rip I wish we coulda had more time together but you got super engrossed in your Legend of Zelda game asdfghj. I know you weren’t super into games though when you were eliminated so I hope we get to play together again soon when your head���s back in the game!

Veronica - you were so inactive in this game just like the other 2 we were also in together. i don’t know how you got voted out in this game but it 100% had to be because you were just not around. rip.

Andrew - WHEW tbh you had me really worried like all of pre-merge so I wasn’t super super upset you went. That being said it was fun getting to know you and watching Great Lakes was a ton of fun!

Veronica - you were so messy and idek what you tried to accomplish the day you were evicted but it didn’t work and u walked so ur lame

Andrew - Rip I realize we didn’t talk much. But I’m sure you’re awesome anyway!

Veronica - i honestly don’t remember you or at least cant think of you atm and i tried to look at my history and i have no convos with any ryans so idk if u actually existed and ya idk

Regan - You were swap fucked and completely and utterly robbed. You deserved to make merge and make final 3 with me. I love you so much and I was so happy to finally play a game with the iconic andie. You were the one person in that alliance I knew I could trust then boom just like that you were gone. YOU WERE ROBBED. Queen <3

Veronica - ily my egg you were done so dirty when like me and two others left our tribe and u were left with logan and some other person i cant think of now maybe it was ryan idk but u know i love you and i wish you would have stayed longer

Andrew - Whew your boot was a wild one and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I know you’re a sweetheart though and I wish you stayed a bit longer so we really could have talked more and solidified not only a game relationship, but a personal one as well.

Regan - I don't really remember how you left. But I do remember that you saved me. You literally saved my entire alliance. Because Andie sent you nudes. You are weak honey <3. That's why you turned. You set my game up to be as great as it was. From the point on where you flipped, I took my game into my own hands, and I thank you because now I'm in the final 3. and I have a 1/3 chance of winning. 

Veronica -  games always do us dirty when we are in it together tbh I’m happy it did u dirty and not me (at least at this point in time) but ur pretty and beautiful and stay that way 

Andrew - Your boot was even more crazy than Shea’s and honestly I was just as blindsided as you. I was expecting that if I had survived early merge, that we would have been going deep together. But my entire game got flipped upside down by your elimination, and it was really a turning point for me. I wish it hadn’t happened, but know that it changed the whole course of my actions.

Regan - I know you're mad at me right now because of your game. But listen I was blindsided by your vote. I had no clue what happened. I had no idea about the split vote. I didn't plan that, because Andrew and Karen always had their own plans. But I voted with you that time, I never wanted you to go. You were a vital ally to me, at least I believed that. 

Veronica - we really didn’t talk that much but we were in an alliance together idr the name of it at all and it had a couple of others in there as well and i was one of the two people that didn’t actually know or had plans to do u dirty and vote you out from our alliance so when you left i was actually shook 

Andrew - AAAAHHH NNNNN AAAAHHH okay I need to compose myself. Getting to know you even though we didn’t talk a ton was great. We’d talk a lot in the tribe chat and tbh you seemed like an awesome person who I found really easy to interact with. So when the S*pphire Idol vote happened I just- god. I am so sorry that you were the victim of that. In terms of this I say that everything happens for a reason, and I managed to get to the final 3! Idk if that woulda happened either way, but you really didn’t deserve that and I’ve waited like 3 weeks to say that. I hope you aren’t too upset at me over it and that we can remain friends when this is all over.

Regan - I thought I was at the bottom, but then your vote happened. this vote turned my entire game upside down. Yes this was Andrew's sole move, it was the move that sent you packing and turned the game around for my alliance. Yet, after that I knew my game was mine. I knew that because I had the numbers I could control my own destiny. No one saw me as a threat so once you got out and I knew I had the numbers, I could control my game. 

Veronica - ily but we never really talked in the game but u were one of the people that i wanted to wait until the last possible moment to even suggest as a vote and you were done SO dirty like i was literally the :o emoji when i saw you were voted out but you’re so amazing and i hope if we do play a game together again that we work more closely next time

Andrew - Another person I got to talk to a bit more through this game! I mean, we were never really together, but things were always chill with you and you were one of the people that really made this merge cast just seem like a personally calm one (even though everyone was constantly strategically freaking out oops). You’re vote out was yet another wild one but I’m glad you fought in this game as hard as you did.

Regan - You were just a casuality to get Daisy out. You didn't deserve it, but we also knew they'd least expect you to go home. Once we figured out that we made a mistake in creating the alliance we creasted we also realized that you daisy and logan were working together- along with drew and luke. And that we had to do something about it. So we voted you out.

Veronica - ok so like you are one of the nicest people ever and you’re literally so good at games and i wanna host u so bad and like you already know i think all this because I’ve told you but its true and i was sad to vote you out but at the time i needed to for the better of my game and ya don’t hate me pls

Andrew - Drewbert. Whew. Idk what to even say. We’ve played so many games together, and it’s never a case of us being super against each other or super with each other. I see that as super similar in us because we’re adaptable people in my eyes. One second we’ll be against each other, but then we’ll end up close allies. Another game we’ll start out together, and the come for one another. But it’s always in the spirit of the game and never malicious and I’ve always high-key appreciated that. I’m sorry your boot happened the way it did, but it just looked like one of those times where it inevitably flipped to us being on opposing sides. You’re always a fighter though and that’s something I always love to see in you, and I think/am hoping you’re able to say the same thing for me.

Regan - Oh poor Drew. You have won so many games I cannot even count. You were going to win had you made it any further. What you don't realize is how important your vote out was to securing my spot in the final 3- maybe even the final 2. that move started the alliance of me, Daisy, and Veronica. And from there we controlled the game.  Once we got Luke and Daisy to turn on you, my final 3 with Daisy and Veronica was set in stone. I realized at your vote that I needed to continue to play under the radar so  I could slowly but surely pick off the others not in our 3, one by one. 

Veronica - this still applies so I’m just gonna copy and paste what i said to u in mystic lmao

Andrew - KARN my dad what did they do to you : ( NNNN you were one of the bigger players in this game and I feel like we both totally saw our dynamic duo-ship being broken eventually, but when it happened your Sondrew was sad. I am glad we got to finally work together through an entire Survivor game until one of our eliminations at the hands of someone else though. And that’s literally after a year like?? I’m shook. And we actually worked well together which was EVEN MORE SHOOKENING. We were really doing that huh?

Regan - You got out because of me. Let me make this clear- You. go. out. because. of. me. Hate it or love it. this was my move to make. Daisy and I were willing to go to rocks to get you out. We were gonna vote veronica to save her ass in the tie.  Then just hope you got rocked out. I spent this entire round convincing Veronica and telling Veronica why you needed to go. I got Veronica to flip, and that was 10 minutes before tribal. I had to convince her that daisy trusted her, because she was on edge thinking that Daisy didn't despite our deal. I had to get you out because you were the biggest threat to my game. I had a final 3 with you and Andrew. But that does not mean I was going to stay loyal. I was until I realized how many votes you were getting in the end- people loved you and you seemed to be leading our alliance thus why I had to cut you. 

Veronica - karen i actually love u sm ur iconic and a queen and honestly would have won this if i hadn’t done u dirty and voting you out was one of the hardest things i had to do bc like u already know I’m 100% lesbian for you and i promise u that if we are in a game together again i will actually die for u 1000% pls marry me i left jev for u ily

Andrew - God your vote out was a super emotionally charged one. You fought for your damn life and it had me shaking in my boots. Even when I was YELLIN that I had to go host a live tribal for Solomon you wouldn’t give up. For the time we did work together though, it was pretty great. This merge was such a wild one that I didn’t know if we would be able to get to the end together or not, and I’m sorry that we didn’t. You were a big player though, and sometimes big moves gotta me made.

Regan - you did not deserve to go. And you fought so much until the very end. The thing was no matter what you said or did, you were going right after Karen. Daisy liked you, I liked you but you were a huge challenge threat, while I'm not sure if you would have won the jury over, we needed to get you out before you ruined our chances of going to the final 3. As soon as you lost a challenge your game was over. if you won this, Andrew would be sitting on the jury and not you. 

Veronica - luke ily as a person but i DID NOT trust u in this game and RIGHTFULLY so…u tried to get me out >.> ya freak and like i remember we were on call once being like “why don’t we work together in the games we are in together?” and like we should have but i don’t think it was ever meant to be…maybe one day………..

Andrew - Ooooooooh my god this was also one super upsetting vote out. And ya wanna know why? Because I haven’t made a good friend like this from just one game in a while. A lot of the time it’ll take a couple games for me to become acquainted and then really get to know someone. And I feel like now that I’ve been in this community consistently playing games for a year and a half now, it’s harder for me to do that. But we hit it off really quick! And I thought you were an awesome person! So honestly it was awesome getting to know you, and I will forever feel shitty about your vote out. But you fought like many of the other people I’m addressing in these speeches, and I’m glad you did. I hope we get to keep talking after this game, and I really hope our friendship gets to continue afterwards.

Regan - I cried over your vote. You didn't deserve getting voted out. But I knew last night, I was the one making the decision whether the vote tied 2-2 between you and Veronica, or if you left. I was loyal to Veronica for so long and I couldn't just abandon her. You were so easily beat me, and I know you pleaded to me that you wouldn't, but I saw it as you played a good game. You got your way back up after being at the bottom multiple times. You fought your way until the very end. You asked for an extension on the vote because you wanted to give me your plea one last time. truth is, I would've lost a vote if I made it tie and possibly made veronica go packing. It also just wasn't good for my game. I couldn't risk losing to you. I'd rather go out at final 3, knowing I'd win if I made it, then lose in a final 2.

Veronica - ok whew from all the people i think i did you the most dirty in a way just because i knew it was gonna be either me and you when one of us had to be voted out and you were a threat im my opinion so i had to get you out and remind regan that it was smarter to get you out over me and not let it go to rocks but i love u and you were a great ally in this game and ya if we ever play in a game together again i know ur a loyal trustworthy person and ur just so great and ur snap stories are always so lit bc you be serving up some looks