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ivysprophecy · 1 month ago

Text

coincidence

warnings: this isnt a very... girls girl chapter XD got inspo from that one scene in oth where haley slaps daneel ackles lol sooo underage drinking, cursing, drinks thrown in faces, hair pulling, reader being difficult XD idk what else

word count: 1490

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masterlist

summary: things with jj had been great, steady even. it was a whole month of pure bliss, so is it a coincidence that you predicted this was gonna happen?

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

things have been so great. jj and i have been great i should say rather. its likes nothing has changed but it has in the best ways.

and no ones said anything. no questions no pestering.

just us.

its been about a month since that day on the beach and to be truthful the sneaking around, stolen kisses, and small touches, its been so much fun.

granted i dont like lying to all of our friends but i think its been beneficial to our relationship. theres no pressure of any watchful eyes.

and its very helpful when they expect all the touching and glances anyway so like i said, its been easy and thrilling,

which leads us to now at a bonfire in the boneyard dancing and drinking and relaxing.

"im gonna go get another drink okay j?" he pats my thigh giving me that damn smirk.

"bring me one too mama, just a cup from the keg."

"you didn't use your manners maybank," i stand up looking back at him with a teasing smile.

he rolls his eyes tilting his head back pretending to be fed up with me. "please mama?"

"i suppose i can do that." i send him a wink. "ill be back in a minute, dont miss me too much."

"oh i miss you already," he smiles knowing exactly what its doing to me. hes sitting against the rocks with his legs spread and his arm splayed next to him resting against where i was sitting.

fuck he looks good. wanna take him home and climb him like a damn tree.

unfortunately to get to the keg i have to pass through the crowds of tourons, kooks, other pogues. its a giant mess of music, drama, and body odor.

with a few excuse me's and shoves i finally made it to the keg and coolers that house my preferred rum and cokes. i make my drink before grabbing jj's, marking the cups appropriately with one of the sharpies laying around.

ive only had three so its still legible.

doing my best to push past the crowds again with out spilling my drinks it takes a little longer to find my way back to my boyfriend.

who, when i turn past a group of people, i see him leaning against the rocks with some girl shoving her tongue down his throat. aggressively might i add.

so i do what any rational person would do in this situation. i threw my drink on her.

"fucking bitch!" i pull her off of jj by her obnoxiously long, thick, and blonde ponytail, "who the fuck do you think you are!? huh?! you like being a boyfriend stealing slut?"

"woah! woah? y/n-" i feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me away from the girl, "take a breather i can explain-"

oh tell me he did not just say that.

"you can explain? you can explain how im gone for five fucking minutes and youve already got some dumb fucking touron wrapped around your finger? fuck that maybank! and fuck you!"

"mama! mama slow down! okay listen- just for two seconds listen to me!"

"i fucking trusted you!"

"you still can! i didnt kiss her!"

everyone has their heads turned in our direction at the sound of us bitching at each others face. including our friends.

this night just got shitty and its about to get a whole lot shittier. im not drunk enough for this. but somehow im also too drunk for this. you know what i mean?

"mama i wouldnt do that to you- cmon you know me. id never hurt you on purpose," jj pleaded for my sympathy.

i dont know if its the alcohol, the rage, or a combination of tonights events with the two. but i cant fucking deal with this right now.

"jj i saw you kissing her! dont fucking lie to me right now. i told you this wasnt gonna work. that it would be too much, too confusing, and that one of us was gonna do something the screw it up! but i prayed to god that it wouldnt be you j! and i NEVER wouldve thought itd be this soon. but i guess thats for the best right?"

"no! no its not- fuck. mama listen i didnt kiss her back! okay?! she was trynna feel up on me and talking about the island and shit and i tried to blow her off but she just-"

oh my god im seeing red.

i dont know whats true. i saw what i saw. i saw them kissing, and his body language didnt seem to convey that he didnt wanna be kissed. but maybe i saw it wrong? could i have? no. theres no way.

a good girlfriend would believe him, but isnt that just naive of me? what if he didnt want do this... i dont know. i dont know, theres no way. this is exactly what i was afraid of.

"jj dont start- i dont wanna hear it right now. i cant. i just cant. im done! im fucking going home. have fun with your little blonde!"

he goes and reaches for my arm trying to keep me close, letting out an exasperated sigh. "how are you getting home?"

"thats all youve gotta say right now? un fucking believable. ill walk home for all i care j but you need to let go of me right now."

"youre not fucking walking home y/n-"

"yes i am," i yank my arm from his grasp "and dont you dare follow me jj. im not afraid to have this fight right now but trust you dont want that. because you will stay single."

god i really wish i hadnt said that.

and with that i walk away without looking back. because i just cant help making things worse, its what i do best. i can already hear all the rest of the pogues running up to him with all these questions and i have no fucks left to give about it.

if he doesnt wanna answer them he can go back to the blonde girl. i wont be surprised.

what i am surprised about is to have john b run up behind me, turning me to face him gently.

"hey- um youve been drinking i dont really think you should walk home alone," john b, always playing hero.

"ill be fine jb. really. go back to sarah and jj ill be fine."

"you keep saying youll be fine but you look like youre about to cry."

damn. am i? i reach up to touch my face and feel a small trickle fall from the corner of my eye.

"look i wont bombard you right now just- let me walk you home? please? make sure youre safe?" i cant lie, itd be nice to know someone gives a damn about me right now.

"thanks john b... thats actually really nice of you," i wipe my tears away and sniff away the cracks in my voice.

how could i be so stupid? i dont do stuff like this. ever. and i just let it happen.

but i'm not wrong am? it cant be a total coincidence that i specifically brought this up with him and this is how it ends?

"... so... you and jj?"

"i thought you werent gonna bombard me?"

he throws his hands up in surrender "its only one question."

i sigh, throwing in the towel because one, hes my friend and he deserves to know. i shouldnt have lied to any of them. and two, it would feel nice to get some of this off my chest. "yea. me and jj. for about a month now.."

"a month??"

i send him daggers with my eyes warning him this is not the time as we walk down the dirt road that leads home to the chataeu.

"sorry- youre right. i wont bug you about it yet."

"yet," i let out a laugh that sounds bitchier than i meant it to be, "im sorry we didnt say anything... i was kind of afraid of this exact thing happening. wanted to keep it low key."

"i get it..." he leads me up to the door where he pauses for a minute. "but y/n/n, for what its worth i think you should hear him out. jj has done a lot of things, but cheating on you? thatd never be one of them."

i open the screen door taking off my flip flops as he speaks, unsure of how to take his suggestion.

"youre a really good friend john b. honest. but i need a little space from all of the jj talk right now. tell sarah im sorry i stole you from the party. have fun."

he nods understandingly, watching me flop onto the couch before walking back down the road.

i stare up at the ceiling thinking about how everything went so wrong so fast until sleep takes over.

#jj maybank need you by my side #jj maybank x gn!reader #jj maybank oneshot #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank fics #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #fic recs <3 #my writing <3 #sab <333 #god i love you but you’re such a dipshit #sabrina carpenter

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changbinsboobs · 1 month ago

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Hi, I would like to request a reading on how skz boys cuddle 🩷

Thats a great question id love to know too😂💗

How do Skz cuddle? (Hyung Line)

Chan

Gets up very easily, i think he's into physical contact and when they're cuddling and its all warm and their whole bodies are pressed against one another its just very easy for his little friend to get excited. In terms of the actual cuddling im seeing him being the embracer type so either he's on his back and the other person on his chest or stomach or something and he has his arm around them, holding them tight, or he's the big spoon. Just seeing embracing, holding tight, like having a secure "grip" on u. But specifically seeing the chest area so i think he loves that one the most, where someone's on his chest. Tho if the person he's cuddling is boobed then he wouldn't mind (in fact he'll love) placing his head on those cushions too.

Lee Know

He's not that big on physical contact per see, but he's passionate in cuddling. Not necessarily in the sexual way but more being kinda playful, maybe jokingly horny? Like making pervy jokes or something. Im seeing this emoji😈. It'll be a time for him to rest his mind a bit and relax, so im not seeing him being all that into the act of cuddling itself but more, releasing tension energy and relaxing, so cuddling might look like this : at the beginning he's very playful, jumpy, passionate, a bit intense and unruly, but then he quickly gets that out of his system and after tickling or annoying his person he calms down and just rest together with them. So in terms of the actual cuddling im not seeing much so i think theres not a preference or a constant on his side at least. The focus is not so much on the cudling with that person itself but just more on the relaxing aspect of it.

Changbin

Im seeing him really loving cuddling and being very involved with it, as in he's active. For example he's cuddling but not just holding each other but he's hand is constantly caressing, or scratching lightly, he's playing with hair, observing the person, listening to their heartbeat or breathing, just looking and admiring them and of course - talking. Im seeing this wing very therapeutic for him and im seeing him really loving physical contact and that might be something that was missing in his childhood or at least not given to him to the extend that he needs, so cuddling now is like giving that to his inner child. Also im seeing him being so active in giving while cuddling be a result of him doing what he wants being done to him in a desperate attempt for the person to see how nice it is and decide to do it for him. Of course all on a subconscious level. So yeah there's lots of "action" going on when cuddling with him, he shows lots of affection but would really love it and absolutely melt when he gets that back and im also seeing some very long sessions with him too, like im seeing he could go hours like that just sited together on the sofa at night after a long day, intertwined, caressing each other, giving small pecks here and there every once in a while and just talking the whole night, for ours, embraced. This is heaven to him and i think he really craves intimacy like that.

Hyunjin

Tbh im not seeing him being much of a cuddler :/ im seeing him having a bit of a difdiculty to calm down and get himself still in one place, his bod may be layed down but his mind would be racing and it would be difficult to actually reach any emotional depths with him while cuddling. Im seeing it has to be when he wants, where he wants, for how long he wants, how he wants it. Everything on his terms. And i think its not something that happens often or for a long time. Now mind you this doesnt mean he doesnt like physical contact. Im seeing him actually being very into physical contact and loving it a lot, but again it has to be on HIS terms. Im getting huge cat energy feom this. With cuddling, what doesnt sit right with him is that he feels trapped or contained in some sort of way? And he feels i timacy being forced upon him, or maybe he has had bad experiences with an ex or someone else where difficult conversations always came while cuddling and he always felt shit afterwards like he was forced out of his peace dream land bubble. So now i think he may not like cuddling as much unless initiated by him and him being in full controll of the situation. That being said im seing the type of cuddling he enjoys is the intertwined type where u dont know anymore whos limbs are whos ur both just a big ball of...of you.

#skz #stray kids #kpop #asks #tarot reading #bang chan #seo changbin #hyunjin #lee know #skz headcanons #skz tarot #skz imagines #skz reactions #stray kids tarot #kpop tarot

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adventuringblind · 2 years ago

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Daddy Issues

Max verstappen x reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Both you and Max have similar daddy issues. How do you comfort eachother in times of need?

Warnings: DADDY ISSUES GALORE, depictions of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, anger issues, Google translated Dutch (I know two other languages and neither if them is dutch)

Notes: Not proofread (we die like Charles Leclerc's car at the 2023 Brisish GP FP2), third-person POV

Masterlist // Part Two // Part three

Sometimes, her love story with Max felt like that of Romeo and Juliette. That's what she likes to tell herself as their dads once again go to war with their respective children.

How either of them had made it this far in life, she had no clue.

This particular night was Max's turn to receive a phone call. The two lovers had been laying in bed during the winter break, keeping eachother warm, when the phone started buzzing.

Max had taken one look at the caller ID and debated whether to just let it ring through or answer. The latter being the better decision or else he would get that added to the procrastinated verbal slaps his father likes to give freely.

The Dutch picked up the phone and pulled the woman close to him in the same motion.

"Hello." His voice is rough, his annoyance becoming apperant in this moment.

Jos' voice through the phone was so loud she didn't even have to try and listen. It was as if he was in the room with them.

She ran her fingers through his hair as he did his best to keep his composure.

"Have you been practicing with the sim?"

"Yes."

"Good, wouldn't want you getting worse or being distracted by the female in your house over the break," he laughed.

Max's free hand entwined with hers. The woman proceding to squeeze his three times. A silent I love you for time like this.

"Maybe you can finally put her to use if you were smart."

A blow to both of them. She had winced only a little, but it didn't go unnoticed. Max brought her knuckles to his mouth and silently let his lips graze them.

"Next race I expect to see you make less mistakes and if there is more then you only have yourself and the women to blame."

"Goodnight dad."

Max quickly hung up the phone and tossed it aside.

She, however, took a different approach and jumped out of the bed. Her now cold body running to the kitchen. Max close behind her.

"I've decided we need hot chocolate." She stated before he could even get the question out.

The two spend the rest of the night cuddling with hot chocolate and watching kids' movies.

The words of Jos are not easily forgotten, but maybe Max could find a way to heal regardless.

The next time something like this happened, it was her turn.

Unfortunately for her, they were at a race. Her parents wanted to come because it's a race in her home country. Spending the day with their daughter, who lives far away now, sounds great in theory.

It had started tame. The three of you sitting in the Redbull hospitality catching up until she went to go find some of your friends and wish them luck.

Thankfully, Lando was walking by and spotted her.

"Hey (Y/N)!" He shouted. Successfully grabbing her attention. The woman waved and made it three steps forward before her dad had placed his hand on her shoulder.

Startled, she spun around and put some distance between them.

"We need to talk." The older man crossed his arms.

Immediately, her body felt like she was a child again. Her shoulders sagged but looked him in the eyes anyway. Knowing if she didn't, he would become more upset.

"I know me and your mom aren't the most rich people, but at least we gave you a better childhood thank ours." He sighed and let out a small laugh. Something he did to make her believe she wasn't in trouble. "You could be a little more grateful to us before running off with some guy who has more than us."

"I'm sorry," was all she could muster.

Thankfully, lando had come over to say hello after she had finished her conversation. He waited, not wanting to interrupt. Until he heard the apology, then he decided to gently step in.

"(Y/N)! Glad I caught you! Max wanted to see you before qualifying." The Brit felt proud of himself for how smooth that sounded.

"Oh do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, follow me." He gestured with his head the direction they were going to head.

"I'll talk to you later, dad." She smiled sadly. Then, she turned to follow Lando.

The two walked in silence to the Redbull garage. Lando not wanting to push the woman and her attempting to swallow her tears before having to talk to Max. Stressing him out before he needed to race was not on her agenda today.

When Max spotted her coming into the garage, he jogged over, greeting his love and his friend with a bright smile.

"What are you doing down here? I thought you were up in hospitality?" He asked.

Max's eyes dart between the two. Taking in the sheepish smile of one and a mixture of sadness and confusion on the other.

Lando turns to look at the woman beside him. "Sorry about lying to you, but I heard what your dad was saying to you..." He trails.

Max's face drops. Suddenly understanding why she had come with a sullen expression.

"It's okay Lan, thank you for rescuing me."

"Anytime." He nods before making his way out of the garage.

Max places his hands on her shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it now, or do you want a hug?"

She doesn't respond. Instead, she embraces him, inhaling his scent and listening to the sound of his heart.

"Race first, talk later." She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek for goodluck.

Max understanding her needs and how she is feeling, helped put the words of her dad into the back of her brain.

The following incident happened in the two's shared home. Jos had cone knocking at the door while Max was away grabbing some essentials for dinner that night. She regretted not going with him now. Opting to get things ready and started while Max was away.

"Oh, it's you." Jos sneered. Practically shoving her out of the way to get inside the apartment. "Where is my son?"

"He's at the store grabbing things for dinner, but I think he'll be back shortly." The young woman closes the door but hardly moves, barely a breath entering her lungs.

Dealing with Jos on her own was always a difficult task. Often fighting with herself between being on the defensive and provoking him more, or just staying quiet. Normally, she opted for the latter.

"You should really consider leaving him now. It'll hurt him less, and he'll be able to focus on what's important again." His eyes burn on her. "Have you still not understood that you are hindering him?! He has been making more mistakes since you seduced him."

She lost her grip for a moment, her mouth letting the words slip before her frontal lobe could fully process.

"Have you ever considered that encouraging and being proud of him might help him more than the constant berating?"

Jos' face went red, his jaw clenching in anger. He looked like he might break something.

Originally, she hadn't realized how close he had been. Now, knowing she should have put more than an arms reach.

The sting on her cheek was not a sensation she was used to. Her father had never actually hit her. thrown stuff around, and broke things from occasionally, but never hit her.

Tears began pricking her eyes. How was she to respond now?

"Don't speak to me like that. It's ridiculous that he keeps you around."

Well, she already crossed the line. There's no going back now. "Maybe because I am actually kind to him." Standing her grand, she managed to look directly at him. The shock of her action clearly displayed on his figure. "Your son is one of the kindest and funniest people I have ever met. He is successful not because because of you but because of himself and what he has achieved through his own hard work."

She had been so lost in her speech that she had failed to hear the keys in the door.

"I'm glad you think so geliefde." His voice was soft towards her. Relief washed over her face as she turned to see him. "What are you doing here, dad?"

"I came to look over some things with you about your next race."

Max's eyes narrowed at him. He quickly places the bag with groceries in it on the floor and strides over where the young woman is still trying to figure out what to do next.

Max places his hands on either side of her face and examines it. "Well, now you don't get to ever come back."

"Max-"

"She is right. I am loved by her unconditionally, and I don't need you to constantly criticize me. And you especially do not get to lay hands on anyone I care about."

Max's eyes turned cold. Now staring past her while still holding her protectively. "Get out."

"Son I think we should at least talk about this!"

"Get out! Or I will call the authorities."

Jos raised his hands in defeat and wnt to exit the space. Before he closed the door, he left you both with a parting message. "I hope she is worth it, Max, and if you realize she's not, then don't come crawling back to me."

When the door clicked closed, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said anything to him." She sobbed.

Max embraced her gently and leaned to whisper, "You did nothing wrong, I don't need him to be proud of me. Instead, I think your encouragement will be enough to fuel me for races."

Then, they both started to heal.

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m4yasnotthatcool · 6 months ago

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SID JENKINS X F!READER

angst + comfort hc fic drabble thingy

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(a/n) nobody requested this, i just made one of my friemds choose 1 or 2 to figure out if i wanna write for sid or freddie, made her choose the format and the genre and then i left her alone😽🎀 (luv u pooks<3)

also girl im listening to some fuck ahh the nbh rn, kill me (i love it, i chose it)

warnings: profanity (its skins, what did you expect?), reader has boobs (very silly goofy, ik.), i think it could be read as gn reader but when i wrote it i had myself in mind so... f!reader?..., also michelle and tony are brefly memtioned at one point (as chelle and tone iykyk), also might contain spoilers(as in, it does contain spoilers)

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•summer is a season both you and your boyfriend, sid, hate dearly;

•you still had sleepovers, only at this time of the year, the heat left over from the day before made it unbearable to sleep like you usually did (which was usually one of you on top of the other if im being honest);

•so here you sat now, layed out on sids bed, a thin sheet covering one of your legs and your lower abdomen, trying to maybe get at least an hour or two of shut eye before the sun would rise once again;

•sitting there, you felt your boyfriend shuffle in his sleep. you didnt think much of it seeing as he often moved while sleeping, until you felt his arm thrown across your abdomen;

• you let him be, thinking that was going to satisfy his yearning for physical contact, but you were wrong;

•not even a couple of minutes later, he rested his head on your chest while his arms hugged you, his hands interlocking behind your back;

•you tried desperately to cool off, kicking the sheets off of your body. unfortunately your attemptes fell unsuccesfull as the obvious heat sorce sitting on top of you had not moved;

•gently lifting him up and laying him next to your spot on the bed, you got up. "ugh, wanker..." you looked at the sleeping teenager next to you. some sheets tangled between your legs made you trip but you cought yourself on his desk, knocking over a few late assignments he had yet to turn in. "well, its not like he would ever get to doing them anyway" you tought as you regained your composure and left the room heading for the stairs.

•you now sat on top of the counter of his kitchen, a glass of cold water in hand from which you periodicly took small sips;

•the only thing you could focus on was the ice cold water sooting your agony as it seemed to indeed help you cool off after the encounter with the sleeping form of your boyfriend;

•"there you are" you heard sids voice come from behind you, a sheepish smile plastered on your face at the tought that his first concern after waking up was you;

•"oh, NOW you wake up" you giggle to yourself as you feel his elbow resting next to you on the counter;

•"what do you mean?" he asks you, tiredness evident in his tone "i mean, yea, ive been sleeping good, but did you try to wake me up or something?";

•"nah, didnt wanna interupt your beauty sleep" you nudge his side playfully "god knows you need it"; "it was just too hot up there, especially with you resting your head between my tits";

•he gasped dramaticly "i would never do such a thing!" ... "sid you and me both know you stare at 'chelles tits whenever we see her and tone' so cut the bullshit" "yea, youre right, im looking at yours right now and they look..." you punch his arm as a warning to not continue what he planned to say;

•"sid, hon, its hot as bollox back in your room, so as much as im flatered by your comments on my great personality id prefer we sleep a little farther apart tonight. you know, just so i dont spontaneously combust while you focus on my boobs on eather side of you head";

•sid slightly laughes before pausing. "can we... go back to bed please?" he avoids your gaze after saying that, making you drop your teasing tone. "sure sid" you say as you hop down from where you were sitting, placing the glass near the sink"are you okay?" you ask your boyfriend,

•"yea, why wouldnt i be?";

•"well, for starters you not only woke up, vut also got out of bed? at 4 am? you?";

•"i didnt know where you went, okay? i just..." he sighed and looked at the floor "i dreamt i lost you too, you know?";

•"well shit..." you murmur as you aproach the boy in front of you;

•you reach out your hands, cupping his face to make him look at you; "look, im here, see? im fine, you dont need to worry, okay?" you say as you reach on your tippy toes, giving him a quick peck before letting yourself fall to your normal height once again;

•"yea... i know" he smiled down at you before continuing "so... can we go now?";

•"sure dude" you smiled back at the boy in front of you before taking his hand and leading him back to his room upstairs;

•its safe to say you didnt get much sleep that night, seeing as he climbed on top of you once again as soon as he feel back asleep, but you didnt get up again; sure, you did try to push him off of you a couple of times, but seeing his persistence you gave up quickly;

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random ahh hc:

after his mom leaving and his dad dying, bro was an emotional wreck;

he became even more clingy than before, trying to somehow make sure you wont leave him too;

so, in return, you had to make sure he knew how much you cared for him;

you know how he followed tony everywhere? and how he showed up at his house? yea, well scratch that, youre his tony now. he shows up at your house unnanounced and ends up sleeping with you on your bed just because he feels like it. like, this of the codependency between him and tony and youve got the general idea of how hed act and what hed do. (their relationship was nothing if not low key homo erotic. well, at least on tonys part ig-);

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

okay so thats it guys omg

(i havent written anything in a very long time so im sorry if its ass lmao)

anyway, feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or anything like that, i really dont mind

other than that, have a great rest of your day/night!

#skins uk #x reader #fanfiction #sid jenkins #sid skins #reader insert #comfort #hurt/comfort #slight angst?

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oneshotnewbie · 6 months ago

Note

Hey wondering if you could do another Natasha Ross fic. Loved the first you did when I requested. Again I give you full creative liberty because how good you did last time.

Authors note: Ugh, there are no gifs of Natasha Ross. I hate it!! But here you have a slightly different story of Natasha, which doesn't really have much to do with Station 19 and might even be considered as an au? I'm sorry if it doesn't suit your taste- it was the first thing I thought of when I read your request 😊

Summary: Natasha is recruited by a secret government agency to take part in an undercover operation dealing with arson and terrorism in Seattle. You are an investigator, or rather a former soldier, who is assigned to help her.

ᕚ---ᕘ

The smoke rose in thick clouds into the Seattle evening sky and the pungent smell of burnt wood hung in the air. Natasha Ross wiped the sweat from her forehead and took a deep breath. Her muscles burned with exhaustion, but she was glad that they had managed to get the fire under control. The last few hours had been a nightmare, but now that the flames were contained, she could finally relax a little.

"Good job, guys. We did it," Captain Sullivan called, patting Natasha on the shoulder. "Now everyone go back to the station and get the cars back in shape." Natasha nodded exhaustedly and looked at each of her team members. "You heard the captain. You did a great job today, I'm proud of you."

When they got back to the station, she was about to go to her locker when she noticed someone standing at the entrance to the fire station. An older man in a tailored gray suit.

"Ross?" The man's voice was firm and authoritative, his serious gaze directed strictly at Natasha. She raised her eyebrows and walked towards him with slow and careful steps. "Yes, I'm Natasha Ross. Can I help you?"

"My name is Alex Carter,“ the man pulled out an older ID card holder and showed Natasha his Homeland Security badge. "I need to speak to you. Urgently."

Her heart immediately started beating faster and her palms began to sweat. What could a Department of Homeland Security agent want from her? "What is it about, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Not here. Follow me, please." Alex Carter turned around without another word and led Natasha to a black SUV parked not too far from the station. Natasha hesitated for a moment, but then decided to follow the request. She couldn't deny that the situation had piqued her curiosity.

There was a tense silence inside the vehicle until they finally reached a nondescript office building on the outskirts of the city. The agent led Natasha through a labyrinth of corridors and security gates until they finally arrived in a small conference room. The room was sparsely furnished, with only a table and a few chairs. On the walls hung various old maps of the whole of Seattle with red circles on them and photos of various fire sites.

"Sit down, Ross," Carter said coldly and closed the door behind him. "What I'm about to tell you is strictly confidential and must not leave this building. You are bound to secrecy."

Natasha sat down and looked expectantly at the agent while resting her hands on the wooden table. "Okay, I'm listening."

"There have been a number of arsons in Seattle over the last few months," Carter began, laying an open file on the table that contained the same pictures that were on the corkboards. "These fires were not accidental. We have evidence that they are the work of an organized terrorist cell."

Natasha frowned and couldn't help but grunt. "With all due respect, but what do I have to do with this?"

Alex Carter leaned forward and straddled the table, his hands gripping it tightly as he looked Natasha straight in the eyes. "We know that you have demonstrated exceptional firefighting skills during your time with the fire department. Additionally, you were previously part of a special task force in the Marines. Your experience and skills make you the perfect candidate for a covert operation."

Natasha felt her pulse rate exceed normal. She had left her time in the Marines more than a decade ago and vowed never again to be involved in such dangerous missions that could drag her and her family into the abyss. "You want me to go undercover?" she asked incredulously and the agent nodded with a straight face. "Exactly. We have reason to believe that the terrorist cell is planning to carry out a large-scale attack in Seattle. We need someone who can infiltrate their structures and gather information. Someone who is inconspicuous and competent. And that's where you come into the game."

Natasha leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath. Her leg was shaking nervously under the table. "I don't know... I've left that world behind me." She spoke in a whisper. "I understand," Alex Carter said calmly. "But remember that your skills and knowledge are needed now. You could save countless lives."

The fire chief was silent for a moment. The idea of returning to a world full of danger and uncertainty was frightening. But the thought that she could actually make a difference and put a stop to it made her hesitate. "Who is my contact?" she finally asked, determined to help.

A slight smile, the first since the meeting, crossed Carter's face. "Your old comrade, y/n y/l/n. She now works for Homeland Security and will be your partner on this mission." Natasha's eyes widened, her pupils dilating to the maximum. "Y/n y/l/n? I thought she had quit her service."

"After her time in the military, she decided to pursue a career in the secret service," he explained quickly, getting back to the important topic. "She will be your main contact and will provide you with all the information you need."

She took a deep breath and finally nodded. They hadn't seen or heard from each other for years. Contact was lost shortly after she herself had quit the service and started a new career as a firefighter. "Okay. What do I have to do?"

ᕚ---ᕘ

Two weeks had passed since you and Natasha had gone undercover. You had integrated yourself into the structures of the terrorist cell, got used to your new identities and put your lives on the line every day. The fine balance between your roles as firefighter and Homeland Security agent was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain. But you both knew that any carelessness could blow your cover.

Inside the building, chaos reigned. Flames were blazing from the walls and the sound of crackling wood and collapsing structures filled the air. Natasha knelt behind a stack of boxes and observed the scene. She could feel the adrenaline flowing through her veins as she waited for the operation to begin.

"Are you alright, 'tash?" Your concerned voice came through the piece of technology in her ear, clear and precise. You were on the other side of the hall, monitoring the operation from a safe distance. "Yes, everything is fine," she whispered back and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

The task was clear: infiltrate the group responsible for the arsons, gather information and prevent their next major attack. But that also meant that you were both in constant danger and your every move had to be carefully coordinated so as not to attract attention or worse.

Natasha forced herself to remain calm as she heard the hall door being pushed open. Several more figures entered, including her first target: a man named Victor Delgado, the right-hand man of the head of the terrorist unit.

"Guys, have you prepared everything?" Delgado asked in a sharp voice. He was tall, muscular, and exuded a menacing presence. "Yes, sir," a younger man answered nervously, probably a new follower, since you had never seen him before. "The fire will spread quickly, as planned. We made sure of that."

The fire chief pressed herself even deeper into the shadows, waiting for the signal from you. She knew you only had one chance to overpower Delgado and his men without anyone getting hurt, and to get him to talk at the headquarters.

"Now!" you whispered into her earpiece, and Natasha jumped out of her hiding place, her borrowed Homeland Security gun drawn. "Don't move!" she shouted loudly, aiming directly at Delgado. "Homeland Security!"

For a moment, time seemed to stand still for her, then more chaos broke out. Delgado reached for his own weapon, but you were faster. A precise shot from your hidden position hit him in the shoulder, and he fell to the ground. The other men also drew their weapons, but you were both prepared. A heavy exchange of fire broke out, and Natasha felt the wave of adrenaline hit her.

When everything went quiet again and the men were lying on the ground all around you, you stormed towards Delgado and overpowered him. "Get down on the ground! It's over for you."

While the two of you, with backup, arrested and secured the men, Natasha felt a rush of relief. But this calm was short-lived, she knew that this was only a small victory in a much bigger game.

Four hours later, Natasha was sitting in a safe house that Homeland Security had prepared for the two of you. The room was spartan but functional. She had sat down on the sofa, exhausted, and rubbed her eyes. But she couldn't go to sleep yet. She was waiting anxiously for you to come back and for news that she hoped you could squeeze out of Delgado.

When a key turned in the lock of the old door and the squeaky wood sprang open, she was suddenly wide awake again and stood on her feet, nervously walking towards you. "Have you found out anything?"

You nodded, also tired, and kicked your shoes off your feet. "I have a name: Thao Lord. He is the real mastermind behind the attacks. We have to catch him tomorrow night, otherwise the whole of Seattle will burn down."

Natasha felt the nervousness fading from her body. Finally you had a name, a goal. But the danger was far from over and a return to her old life was not yet done.

"Delgado was just a small cog in the machine. This Lord is far worse than we had imagined," you said, sitting down next to Natasha, that meanwhile haf sat back down. She leaned back and nodded as she sipped her wine glass. "Probably. But we took an important step today."

"You were great out there today. Like old times, huh?" you finally said after a moment of silence, looking at her with a soft smile. "I knew I had chosen the right one with you when we were looking for someone suitable for this mission."

Natasha felt the surprise overcoming her, her eyes widening. "You... chose me? I thought this was Carter's idea."

Another silence fell, heavy and full of unspoken words. "We should rest," you finally whispered and stood up. "Tomorrow will be a long day."

Natasha nodded silently and watched you go to your room. She sighed and leaned back again, her mind racing. Why were you still thinking about her after all these years? Why did you choose her when you could have chosen any other chief from all the fire departments in Seattle?"

ᕚ---ᕘ

The following night there was a tense silence as you and Natasha approached the spot where Thao Lord was supposed to meet Delgado. An abandoned industrial building on the outskirts of the city, similar to the one where you had confronted Delgado. This time, however, you knew it was all or nothing.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked quietly, looking at you. You nodded, your eyes sparkling with determination as a smile spread across your lips. "I'm always ready, 'tash. You know that."

With a mischievous wink, you began to move silently through the shadows until you both reached the building. She hesitantly opened the heavy door, trying not to make a sound, and you entered the interior a few seconds later. There was an eerie silence inside, only interrupted by the occasional drip of water from the leaky pipes.

"Thao Lord must be here somewhere," you whispered, holding your weapon ready to fire. "We have to be careful, it's too confusing."

You made your way through the dark corridors, always on guard. Natasha could hear her heart pounding in her chest as she prepared for the unexpected. Finally, you reached a large room with a table in the middle, loaded with explosives and plans of the city.

Suddenly you heard footsteps and quickly ducked behind a wall as a man with graying hair and cold, calculating eyes approached the table - Thao Lord.

"Everything is ready," he said firmly to himself and laughed. "Tonight Seattle will go up in flames and destroy everything that needs to be destroyed."

Natasha felt her blood boiling. She had to stop him before he could put his plan into action. She exchanged a brief but determined look with you, then you both nodded at each other. It was time to act.

"Homeland Security! Hands up!" Natasha shouted, staying in cover and keeping her gun pointed at Lord. "Nothing is going to blow up here! The only thing that will happen is that you'll see the inside of a cell."

Lord laughed coldly and fired wildly. "You think you can stop me? You're just two women against an entire organization!"

But you and Natasha were not intimidated. You fought with all your strength and skill, and finally you managed to overpower Thao. He lay on the ground, his hands handcuffed, and she stepped closer to him. "You lost," she said in a firm voice. "Seattle is safe. Delgado ratted you out."

Thao Lord looked up with hate-filled eyes and a brief, cold shiver ran down her spine. "This isn't over yet." Natasha ignored his words and helped you get him to his feet before you both made your way to the headquarters.

The night passed quickly and the next morning you and Natasha were sitting in a small cafe, away from the hectic city. The case was closed, Lord and his men were behind bars, and the danger to Seattle had been averted. In the quiet moments after the storm, you could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad it's all over," said Natasha, taking a sip of her coffee. "It was a tough time that somehow reminded me a lot of the Marines and I'm honestly glad to be back with my team."

You nodded and looked her deep in the eyes. "Yes, it was. But I'm also glad that we got through it together. I couldn't have imagined a better partner for this case."

There was a moment of silence, and the fire chief could practically feel the depth of it. "Y/n, I want you to know how much what we have achieved together means to me," she said quietly and you smiled, gently running your finger along the rim of your coffee cup. "And not only that. I also realized how much you mean to me and how much I have missed you all these years."

"I feel the same way. You became my friend again so quickly. If not more... and that in such a short time even though the distance has separated us for so long."

Natasha felt a wave of joy as she took your hand and squeezed it tightly. "I want us to keep in touch. Let's see where this leads."

You nodded and squeezed her hand once too. "Yes, let's do that. Together." you said and in that moment you knew that you could get through anything together, like in your previous life. The danger was averted and a future full of possibilities and further collaborations lay ahead of you. You and Natasha had found each other not only as partners but also as friends, and nothing could separate you again.

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ceilingfan5 · 2 years ago

Text

[id: a simple drawing of a sun wearing sunglasses and smiling]

HEY idk about you but the weather has been shitty here and i have been aching for sunshine so i have manufactured some with my bare hands

here is nearly 4,000 words of taakitz ridiculousness, while i take a break from my cruise fic, which was initially supposed to be a break from a different fic--it's fine. you get to eat these delicious words don't WORRY about it.

go read As Luck Would Have It (rated T) if this sounds like it will warm your bones and make you smile:

Kravitz gets invited to a weird party and then the only person he knows there disappears, so he ends up having to get friendly with the host. But that's a good thing.

or read it below but again it is 3.7k: (minor warning for brief mentions of alcohol)

“So, got your goth speedo ready?” Sloane needles, throwing her arm around Kravitz. He nearly gets knocked over and the guy behind them in the coffee line looks a little annoyed that she’s butted in, but not enough to be unpolite about it yet.

“My fucking what now?” Kravitz half-drags her forward as the next shmuck in line gets a frothy caffeine milkshake.

“I thought I told you that we’re goin’ to a beach party tonight. What’s the problem? I know you don’t work tomorrow. I have your gcal and everything. No escape.”

“Well,” Kravitz says, fishing for an excuse and coming up fishless. “It’s, listen, I know it’s April, but it’s supposed to snow tonight. The weather is garbage, and you want to have a beach party?”

“Uh, for one thing, it’s not my beach party, it’s Tres Horny Boys’ beach party-”

“What.”

“And for another-” they move up in line again, Sloane making it no easier on him. He’d have more to complain about if it wasn’t really nice, having someone lean on him after a long day at work. “It’s inside, so you have no excuse.”

“What am I supposed to do, come in a bathrobe?”

“Whatever floats your goat. Either way I said you’d be coming, so whatever your evening plans were-”

“Watching youtube until I pass out, I think?” They’re almost to the counter. Soon he will be buzzing enough to handle this.

“Cancel them! You’ve got places to be!”

“Hey, Sloane? Not to sound like Winnie the Pooh-”

“Great start, continue.”

“But- oh bother .”

“That’s the spirit!”

Kravitz does not know how to dress for a beach party in the warmest, buttered-toastiest weather, so dressing for a beach party in the literally-beginning-to-snow ass weather was vexing beyond measure. Much laying on the floor about it had to happen. But god as his witness, he is going to follow the fucking rules, and he ends up in long black shorts, a casual black short sleeved shirt over a band t-shirt, and a scarf and gloves. He goes back and forth on the hat. It ends up jammed in his pocket on the way to the front door of the Tres Horny Household.

He wishes he had come with Sloane. He’s afraid he won’t know anyone here. He’s been spiraling about parties and their insurmountable social nature for the last several hours since their coffee moment, but now new and fresh terrors assault his imagination. What if he took the dress code wrong? What if he has nothing in common with the guests? What if Sloane wasn’t allowed a plus one? What if-

The door opens. Music spills out, jaunty and warm and unseasonable. The guy standing in the heavenly rectangle of light, illuminated like some kind of angel royalty, puts his hands on his hips and squints at Kravitz.

He is absolutely wearing swim trunks and not much else. There are novelty sunglasses propped on his head that look like sunshines, and the sunshines are also wearing sunglasses. Kravitz is incredibly aware of the snow. It is in his hair and everything. Blowing about like dollars in a horrible game show or something. Will he win the grand prize (out-of-season frostbite)?

“Hello,” Kravitz tries, great start, classic, tried and true, familiar, 4.8 stars, 14,956 reviews. “I’m- Sloane invited me, I- hello-”

“Hello,” surfing angel replies, looking incredibly amused at his squirming. “I was gonna let you ring the doorbell or something, but you were just standing there.”

“Guilty as charged,” comes out of Kravitz’s mouth, unbidden.

“Well, come into the beach, dork,” he says, biting back a grin. “I’m Taako. This is my party.”

Kravitz mumbles a thank you and moves into the very warm house, looking around and finding all sorts of brightly colored wildness. There are leis on nearly every surface, blow-up palm trees, surely at least fifteen beach balls at first glance, a photo background that looks like a shark’s open mouth, a literal kiddie pool filled with sand– real sand. What are they going to do with it when they’re done? How hard is it going to be to clean up?? Why did they think that was a good idea indoors? Why are three different people collaborating on an elaborate sand castle already??

“Food’s in the kitchen, you know the party rules, yeah? Key bowl’s over there if you’re planning on needing it.” Taako stretches and pops his back, and Kravitz glances away, cheeks warming. His soft middle is so touchable, is the thing. And this is a complete stranger he needs to demonstrate his good skills at being a regular person to.

So that he can get invited to the next bonkers party?? What’s the goal here? What’s the rubric??

“You good, cowboy?” Taako asks, slipping his hands into his board short pockets and making them slide down just a little bit more. He’s so pretty. His long hair is tied up, but what if it wasn’t? His eyes are glittering with the kind of mischief a person would need oodles of to plan such a ridiculous shindig, and Kravitz is distracted.

“Yuh-huh,” he says. Kravitz tugs at his short sleeve, feeling exposed. Some of his non-face skin is showing. He’s practically nude, here. “Have you seen Sloane?”

“Last I saw her,” Taako whistles softly. “She was filling water balloons to cause problems and kissing her girlfriend, so I assume she is either still doin’ that, or isn’t.”

“Thank you.” Very helpful. Super duper productive line of clues here.

“For sure.” Taako points out the shoe rack and nods his head as a song he must really like comes on. “Come try my food when you’ve found her. Hopefully you actually have a palate and won’t just shove shit in your mouth ‘cause it’s there like these chucklefucks. You look like a guy that chews his food.” He winks, and even though that’s an insane thing to say to someone you’ve just met, Kravitz is oddly pleased.

“Definitely. I will definitely chew your food.”

Taako giggles and covers his mouth, like the odd sound that came out of it could have been anything but supremely enchanting.

“I gotta go- be somewhere else,” he says, with serious confidence, and so Kravitz accepts it at face value and nods as Taako about-faces and skedaddles.

Kravitz debates leaving his gloves with his shoes. His hands are gold, but he doesn’t want to be a total goober. And should he? Or shouldn’t he?

It’s easy to get tangled up headphones style, but he crawls out of this pocket and leaves both behind.

Keeps the fuckin’ scarf on though. It’s cold. His knees are cold, even. Not that a scarf can fix that. But if he warms some of his blood, it can travel around and share that warmth with the rest of his body juice? Right? Probably?

Either way, he heads for a bathroom or something to find Sloane. Or not find her. But he’s going to start somewhere with a sink. If he gets hit by a water balloon later he will yell. Definitely. She’d better know that. The hallway is a little less loud, although he does accidentally kick into a beach ball on the floor. The light is off, and he breathes a little.

Nobody is in the bathroom, which will probably not stay the same for much longer, but right now that’s just a problem, because where is the only person at this entire party that he knows, actually?

He nearly bumps into something as he goes back into the hallway, and it turns out to be, not a coat rack, or a decorative table, or like, something a regular person would have in a regular house, but instead, yes really, a capsule machine.

Kravitz squints at it (once he has determined it is not at risk of tumbling and shattering on the carpet, where he will definitely step on the treacherous bits). He looks both towards the living room (lively, loud, beachy) and presumably the bedrooms (relatively quiet, only one door slightly open) and then again at the actual capsule machine. It looks a lot like a shiny red gumball machine, just rectangular and filled with little plastic acorns full of mysteries.

It’s incredibly tempting, is the thing. Kravitz has a few emergency quarters in his pocket. You know, just in case. And obviously it is here for a reason, right? If it doesn’t accept his quarters, then it will be fine, and he will put them back in his pocket and go find Sloane. Yep. Probably not haunted.

Tentatively, he inserts two coins and turns the mechanism, and something clicks and churns out a little plastic container. Kravitz takes it out and holds it up to the light from the living room, and not quite sure what’s inside, pops it open.

It’s a squishy glittery rubber duck. It is perfect, down to the eyes that have seen the Horrors (™). Kravitz laughs delightedly and quacks softly to himself.

Okay, well, if that’s what’s going on here, he has two more quarters.

His duck needs some friends, obviously.

He takes his last two coins out, pops them in the thing, excitedly turns the knob, and another capsule drops. He removes it, and it rattles strangely. Is it full of…skittles? Almonds?

He pops it open and it smells like fish. And he kind of gags about it. This is not a skittle treat. This is not a skittle treat at all. If he is not mistaken, those are fucking cat treats. In the capsule machine. In some guy’s house.

“What the actual fuck,” he says softly, and, not expecting a reply, is startled when he hears a gravelly meow from the open bedroom door.

The skrunkliest cat he has ever seen appears, haunted lamp-eyes first, white tail flicking behind it. It is also wearing a flower lei and appears to give not a single rat’s bananas about it. It meows again and Kravitz nearly drops the capsule. He kind of feels like he’s summoned some sort of Beast.

“Hey there,” he says, squatting down to see the critter. “Did you come to party?”

The cat paws at him and yowls, seemingly knowing exactly what the fuck is going on, and befuddled but pleased, Kravitz gives the cat the treats.

He’s kind of glad he was invited to this party full of insane people. Truly the guys who live here can’t be regular. Right? Like, something has to be a little wrong with them. There’s some texture in this salad. Crunchy.

The cat rubs against him and purrs, sounding like some kind of motor boat chewing aquarium gravel, and he’s fucking enchanted. He puts the capsules in his pocket, and after loving on the cat for an extended period of time, he decides he definitely needs more quarters. Like, if that’s what’s in there, either way it’s good, right? He tries to peer in the transparent sides of the machine, but it’s kind of difficult to tell what other curiosities await inside. He’s so fucking tempted. What if it took paypal is the thing? Or credit?

No, that’s dangerous. Like one more dollar would be fine, and then he can socialize.

“I’ll be right back,” he promises, and the cat chirrs at him with a knowing look in its glittery eyes. Kind of like Taako’s.

He braves the party again, which in less than twenty minutes has gotten even weirder. The cat, wiser than he, did not follow. Kravitz politely pushes through to the kitchen, where he can still hear people sing-hollering Boat Drinks at the top of their lungs. The only person in there is Taako, who is sitting on the counter and looking kind of put out, but perks up like an animated sunflower when Kravitz walks in the doorway.

“Hey hey,” he says, kicking his legs and nearly thumping the opposite cabinet. “Wondered where you were. Sloane went to pick up some pizzas. They were all like, weh weh, our driver got abducted by aliens or whatever so if you want your pineapple shenanigans you gotta come down to main office, so she was like, I volunteer as tribute, and I was like we have perfectly good horse divorce right here, but okay I guess, and anyway hello again, hi.”

“Hi,” Kravitz says, smiling at Taako. He’s kind of picking up on what he’s putting down now, actually. He hasn’t met the other two Boys, but he wants to assume that the capsule machine was his idea. “I met your cat.”

“Yeah?” Taako blooms about it. “That’s my sweet boy who has every disease. His name is Garyl, and he is a menace to society. He is on house arrest until they find the Picassos.”

“Picassos, huh? I figured him for a Monet kind of guy.”

“Picassos are easier to forge,” Taako says with an impish shrug. “What’s up? Come to sample my wares?” He does a sweeping gesture at the half-demolished spread of appetizers and desserts.

“Definitely!” Kravitz is feeling more like a person again. This, he can do. Solve mysteries, pet cats, eat little pigs in a blanket? Absolutely. Dance to music that rattles his bones until he feels like a skeleton getting played like a xylophone, no thank you. He gets a plate, paper, printed with cute little animal faces. It was probably meant to be a joke, but Kravitz finds it kind of charming. “What’s your favorite?”

“Well obviously, it’s all good, ‘cause cha’boi made ‘em, but uh, like, the desserts are lip-smackery, and the, yeah,” he waves at Kravitz, who is already loading up. “Yeah, some of those, and the little, yeah, those are spinach puffs, but if you’re like, augh, spinach? Spinach poisoned my crops and shaved my dog to look like a monk, then you’ll be pleasantly surprised, ‘cause they fuck verily.”

Kravitz pops one in his mouth, and is wonderfully surprised.

“Verily indeed,” he says, mouth still kind of full. He picks through most of the rest of it, and comes to lean on the cabinet sort of by Taako so they can, he doesn’t know, chat, or something? He’s trying. He’s trying so hard.

At least Taako looks thrilled about his food interest.

“Knew you could chew,” he says.

“Lots of experience,” Kravitz says. “Been on my resume for years.”

That makes Taako giggle-snort, and Kravitz counts it as a win.

“So, what do you do?”

“Me?” Kravitz sweats. “I mean, me? What I do?”

“For sure that is what I meant, yeah?” Taako raises his eyebrows. “I mean, you want me to go first? I work at a bakery. So like, if you see your boy fall asleep mid-sentence, be regular about it, yeah?”

“Noted,” Kravitz says, affectionately. “I do not work at a bakery. I work at Sniffem’s, and also the funeral home.”

“Sniffem’s??” Taako cackles. “You’re a candle merchant?”

“Candle stacker,” Kravitz corrects. “My candle hawking was not aggressive enough, and I got demoted to the back of the store.”

“Couldn’t up-smell, huh?” Taako says, barely containing his laughter enough to finish the sentence, and Kravitz snickers.

“Little more interesting, than uh, than Neverwinter Rest and Crematory, so uh, I tend to lead with that one-”

“I mean,” Taako covers another laugh. “Maybe I shouldn’t joke, you might be, you might not think it’s funny.”

“Listen,” Kravitz says. “You aren’t going to offend me, unless you’re trying to be mean, in which case I will cry. Like if you criticize my penmanship or something, I’ll dwell on it, but like, if you’re about to say what I think you’re going to say-”

“That’s the thing-” Taako’s voice is pitching up and he nearly looks like he’s going to explode. “I’m not quite there? There’s- listen- I’m not trying to be a dick- but there’s a burning joke in there and I just can’t quite crack that nut- ”

“Maybe,” Kravitz starts, mostly amused by it all. He’s heard all sorts of things about the funeral home, and he’s gotten over it a long time ago. He’s struggling to force that connection too when someone–handsome, weirdly long sideburns–pops his head in. “HEY!” he shouts, into the much quieter kitchen. “Can we get five more mulled strawberry daiquiris and a Long Island Hot Tea?”

“Fuck off!” Taako says, cheeks pinkening, as Kravitz tries not to gag about the idea of hot beach drinks. Like, he gets the math there, but no, jail for a thousand years. “I’m talking to my friend-!”

“Thanks, Taako!!!” The guy, who could be, mm, maybe not a lumberjack, but like a model dressed up like a lumberjack who would hurt himself in the photoshoot by getting too enthusiastic about the ax? Ducks back into the party, as if Taako had responded positively.

“Hey, what fucking is your name though, gorgeous?” Taako says, incredibly directly, piercing through Kravitz until he could be used as a colander in a pinch.

Did he fucking forget, like, the basic bit? Like, the second thing? He got as far as hello and ate shit? He wants to evaporate.

“Kravitz,” he says. “Did I not-”

“Nope,” Taako says, popping the p like a balloon in a sharp things factory. “But if there’s anything else you wanna do backwards, I’m open?”

“I do actually have a question,” Kravitz manages, despite the delayed hit of gorgeous flooding his bloodstream like a designer party drug of some nature. He’s not sure. He’s never really engaged with that sort of scene.

Taako blinks at him, but congenially goes, “Shoot?”

“What- hey, what’s the deal with the capsule machine in the hallway?”

Taako regains that mischievous look tenfold. Funny business and hanky-panky, thy name is Taako Lastname.

“That? Oh, that? That’s an investment, my man. I, so listen, there was a sale, right? And I figured- I mean, it’s a little joy in a popbubble whenever you’re feeling down, yeah? Marie Kondo, live your life, et cetera, but also like, good for parties, you know, we do lots of parties, maybe you can come to the next one? Gonna be casino themed.”

“Love that,” Kravitz says. “Poker.”

“Dressup,” Taako nods. “Like- like me and the guys, we’re, you know, just dudes, not like, heroes or whatever, but we’re joy-dealers, you know? Merchants of smiles, yeah? Does that sound insane?”

“Maybe, but I like it?” Kravitz smiles at him, and eats a little tart thing so he doesn’t have to say more. It’s–get this—so fucking good.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, well. Yeah. So, like, we do these weird parties, right? Like- when shit’s got you down, we can get you up, wink, and like,” he kicks his feet like he’s trying to slow down his thoughts so they don’t all tumble out of him. Kravitz is immensely charmed. “I mean, I just thought it was funny.”

“It really made me smile, Taako,” Kravitz says honestly, and Taako lights right back up. “And it’s sweet that you put something in there for your cat, too.”

“Yeah?” Taako beams, vindicated. “Garyl loves that shit. Normally he’d fuck off entirely, but he must have heard you fuckin’ round and got excited. Good thing you got lucky.”

“Right,” Kravitz’s cheeks burn. “I only had a dollar in quarters. I’m kind of surprised I even had quarters on me, but- you know, it was fun. You’re really- fun.”

Taako’s smile softens a little. He brushes hair back behind his ear and glances away.

“Sure,” he says.

“Is it weird I’m really tempted to do it again? Like, you wouldn’t have-”

“I one hundred percent have rolls on rolls of quarters specifically for this situation,” Taako says all in a rush. He hops down, and then tries to pretend to be chiller about this. “If, you want? I mean, you can go do sand karaoke-”

“I do not see myself doing sand karaoke right now,” Kravitz says, as politely as he can. Taako looks pleased, and snatches a ziplock bag full of coins off the microwave. “How much do you wanna spend?” And he heads back through the party to the hall, Kravitz plodding baby-duck like behind.

He ignores the wild overstimulation of the party. He focuses on Taako’s long braid, and the jaunty way it swings, and the soft slope of his back, a star-field of freckles exposed by his silly beach party outfit, when, again, it is one hundred percent snowing out there.

Affection warms him from the inside out. He may as well be glowing. Aw, fuck, is he getting a crush? Oh no. Oh lord. Oh bother.

“Hey Garyl,” Taako announces to the empty doorway, as he stops in front of the capsule machine. A person waiting for the bathroom glances at them, and then looks back at their phone.

“I can give you some bills-” Kravitz tries, but Taako waves him off and hands him the bag.

“Later,” he says. “Let’s see what else you get. Try for a real prize, right? There’s all sorts of weird shit in there. I think I put a ring, you know, I put a little jerky snack, a whole bunch of these ugly little alien guys? And there’s the balloon animals, the glitter ducks,” he starts counting on his fingers.

Kravitz takes out two quarters and pops them in. Taako delightedly watches him turn the crank and remove the purple-capped plastic gift.

“What’dja get?”

Kravitz pops it open, unsure- and then nearly perishes on the spot. It is, there is no denying it, the familiar foil square of a condom.

There’s a beat. And then Taako begins to die laughing, as Kravitz nearly melts into the resell-beige carpet. Taako laughs so hard he nearly chokes, and grabs onto Kravitz’s elbow for support. Kravitz, despite his mortification, can’t help it–Taako’s laughter is contagious, and he starts into it too, and nearly falls apart when Taako manages to get out–

“The thing is-” he wheezes. “The thing is? I’m not- listen. The thing is? There’s only one of those in there-”

“Guess I got lucky,” Kravitz has to say. Taako actually falls to the floor laughing.

And Kravitz? Well, maybe he’s going to have a good time after all.

#taakitz #taakitz fic #taz #tazb #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #this is very silly #fan5fics

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perpetuareality · 1 year ago

Text

listen. i hate caliborn as much as the next girl, but the fucking chess trick he pulled off was really fucking funny

like callie my sweet dearest precious callie, i love you, but this is fucking awesome LOL

(transcript under the cut)

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: SO FuCKING SMuG. HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY HOW GREAT IT'S GOING TO BE WHEN YOu'RE DEAD? uu: JuST BECAuSE YOu HAVE NEVER LOST A MATCH. DOESN'T MEAN YOu WON'T LOSE THE GAME THAT REALLY MATTERS. uu: NOR DOES IT EVEN MEAN YOu'LL WIN THIS ONE. IT'S FAR FROM OVER. TRuST ME. uu: "BISHOP TO C6." undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: why have yoU been enclosing all yoUr moves in qUotes? UU: yoU have really been acting so odd this match. UU: knight to d6. UU: look oUt! i'm coming for her. UU: i think she's langUished behind the front lines long enoUgh, woUldn't yoU say? UU: time to shake things Up. move her, or take my knight. UU: yoU know yoU want to take her. jUst look at her there. what a cheeky intrUsion. slithered right into yoUr palace and made herself comfy. maybe she'll lay an egg once she's finished her feast. ^U^ UU: might as well take her oUt. yoU know when the action begins and pieces start to fall, that's when yoU make all yoUr most creative mistakes! UU: anyhoo, far from over yoU say? UU: no, i don't imagine this game will be taking Up mUch more of oUr time. uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: that's a fine attitUde. maybe yoU are finally making some progress in the realm of sportsmanship? UU: qUeen to g7. UU: checkmate. ^U^ uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: NO IT ISN'T. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: what are yoU talking aboUt? UU: don't be a poor sport again. yoU were doing so well there, relatively speaking. UU: the game is over. better lUck next time, "bro." ^u^ uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: IT IS NOT OVER. "SIS." uu: LOOK AT THE BOARD CLOSER. uu: I AM NOT IN CHECKMATE. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: i have no idea what yoU're babbling aboUt. soUnds like desperation to me. UU: i am looking at the pieces. yoUr king cannot step anywhere that does not pUt him in check. UU: nor can the threat to him be eliminated by other means. UU: yoU have been mated. UU: the king is dead. UU: yoUr enchantment has failed. uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: THAT IS NOT MY KING. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: this is becoming silly. UU: Unless yoU have something to say aboUt the game which actUally makes sense, i am done with it. UU: i have more important things to do. uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: YOu ARE NOT DONE WITH ANYTHING. uu: uNLESS YOu WANT TO FORFEIT. uu: LOOK CLOSER AT THE "KING" AND "QuEEN." uu: AND THEN. uu: REMOVE THEIR CROWNS. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

[Image ID: A pair of hands taking off little form-fitting headpieces of a king and queen piece of the same colour on a chessboard. The headpieces belong to the opposite piece (the king piece wears a queen hat, and viceversa). Both the pieces and the headpieces are red. Other red pieces, as well as green pieces, can be seen atop the chessboard, but these are unaltered.

A little meter ranging from an unhappy jester mask to a happy jester mask can be seen at the bottom of the image as an overlay. This meter is very low, and there are little bolts of lightning surrounding it. End ID.]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: oh bloody hell. UU: THIS was yoUr "enchantment?" UU: are yoU serioUs??????????? UU: UUUUUUUUUUUgh. this is yoUr shittiest twist yet! uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: WELL PLAYED "SIS!" uu: YOu CHECKMATED MY QuEEN! uu: AAH! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! uu: THIS IS SO FuCKING FuNNY. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: i am jUst astonished. UU: not at the gUile of yoUr little ploy, bUt by the fact that yoU actUally seem to think this was a clever rUse. UU: it is jUst so painfUlly daft, i... UU: i am speechless! uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: NEVER SAW SOMEONE SPEECHLESS. WHO HAD SO MuCH TO TYPE. uu: I THOuGHT YOu OF ALL PEOPLE WOuLD APPRECIATE MY MODIFICATIONS. uu: THE CROWNS ARE REALLY NICE AND WELL CRAFTED. uu: FORM FITTING. HARDLY ADDING ANY HEIGHT. uu: LIKE CAPPING. uu: A TOOTH. uu: YOu WERE COMPLETELY FOOLED. uu: AND NOW THE COVETED PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT BETWEEN uS. uu: BELONGS TO ME. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: this is absUrd. UU: yoU nagged incessantly for me to allow yoU to reverse the starting positions of the king and qUeen! UU: i only agreed to get yoU to shUt Up aboUt it, and regardless, i knew i coUld beat yoU anyway even with yoUr initial "advantage." and i was right! UU: how can yoU claim this as a legitimate strategy? UU: yoU broke the rUles! uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: HEY! I DIDN'T BREAK ANY RuLES. uu: I MERELY ASKED IF YOu WOuLD AGREE. TO ME SWAPPING THE START POSITIONS OF THE KING AND QuEEN. uu: AND YOu DID AGREE. uu: BuT THEN I DIDN'T ACTuALLY DO IT. uu: WHEN DID I SAY I WOuLD? NEVER. uu: I WAS ONLY GAuGING YOuR WILLINGNESS TO MAKE THE EXCEPTION. uu: I THEN WENT ABOuT DECORATING MY KING AND QuEEN WITH NICE LITTLE HATS. uu: WHICH IS *ALSO* NOT AGAINST THE RuLES. uu: YOu DO IT ALL THE FuCKING TIME. GIVE YOuR GAME PIECES HORNS AND SHIT. uu: YOu EVEN GIVE THEM NAMES AND BLOOD CASTES. YuCK. uu: SO IF YOu HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY DECORATIONS. I SAY POT. ALLOW ME TO INTRODuCE YOU TO THE FuCKING KETTLE. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uu: EVERY SINGLE THING I DID WAS LEGAL. uu: MY QuEEN. DISGuISED AS A KING. MADE MOVES LIKE A KING. WHICH IS WITHIN ITS CAPABILITY. THIS WAS DONE TO DECEIVE YOu. uu: MY KING. DISGuISED AS A QuEEN. MADE MOVES LIKE A KING. BECAuSE DOING OTHERWISE WOuLD BREAK THE RuLES. uu: BuT YOu BELIEVED IT HAD HER POWERS. AND I uSED THIS TO MY ADVANTAGE. uu: WHICH WAS HILARIOuS TO OBSERVE. WATCHING YOu BACK AWAY FROMS "THREATS." FROM WHAT WAS IN TRuTH A DISTANT KING! uu: ALL THE WHILE MY RuSE. PATENTLY OBVIOuS IN HINDSIGHT. WENT EMBARRASSINGLY uNDETECTED. uu: NO RuLES BROKEN. NOT ONCE. uu: IN FACT. IF ANYONE HERE BROKE THE RuLES. uu: IT WAS YOu. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: WHAT?? UU: absolUte bollocks. UU: what rUles did i break?! UU: this oUght to be good! uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: YOu AGREED TO LET ME START WITH THE KING AND QuEEN IN SWAPPED POSITIONS. uu: IT'S AGAINST THE RuLES TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION LIKE THAT. EVEN IF YOuR OPPONENT IS BEING OBNOXIOuS ABOuT IT. uu: YOuR WILLINGNESS TO BREAK THE RuLES IS DISGuSTING TO ME. YOu SHOuLD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOuRSELF. uu: LuCKILY. AT LEAST ONE OF uS HAS RESPECT FOR THE RuLES. uu: I STARTED WITH ALL MY PIECES IN THE CORRECT POSITION. uu: IN SPITE OF YOuR WILLINGNESS TO ALLOW THOSE RuLES TO BE BROKEN. uu: WHICH AS I HAVE ADDRESSED. IS TOTALLY SHAMEFuL. uu: YOu ARE VERY FORTuNATE TO HAVE A "BRO" WHO RESPECTS THE INTEGRITY OF THE GAME EVEN WHERE HIS "SIS" MIGHT FALTER. uu: A "BRO" WHO. WHILE FuLLY ADHERING TO THE RuLES. AND EXPOSING YOuR HIDDEN SHAMEFuL TENDENCIES. uu: STILL MANAGED TO DEFEAT YOu. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

UU: YOU PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!

End transcript.

#homestuck #long post

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zeondraws · 2 years ago

Text

To print out for diary

So I just came back from a three week class trip. Haven't drawn much but I am getting back to things, atleast my tiny Philosophy is just that I don't have to worry about not drawing alot for an extended period. Because I still know how to do it.

It was a great experience being outside with my classmates and just having a fun time, I'll try to write down how each week went so that I could perhaps remember if I wanna look back

So first week was somewhat exhausting, this has to do with the fact that I had my wisdom teeth pulled out two weeks prior and having to lay in bed for a week. The first 4 days after the operation were difficult, thankfully the pain slowly went away but I got an infection on the 4th day at around 4am (it was super painful and uncomfortable) and I had to wait until I could call my dentist. Thankfully antibiotics did their thing and all my wounds from the operation are healing up just fine

The drive to the house we'd stay is somewhat long but I connected my phone to the minibus so we just listened to my Spotify while other classmates occasionally suggested something they liked. It was already promising that we very much enjoyed the drive there since the next weeks would be very fun/get more crazier.

Next day would just be us going through buildings and talking about the species that live in and outside the benthos of the wadden sea. And in which areas they'd occur. Also some talks about the geology of Germany.

We would do a small walk around the area in the evening and I remember going on a morning on this day, mainly to check if I could find any feathers. I didn't find much, the area is kept super clean and the lawns are getting mowed frequently. But it was quite interesting being near the military, or well somewhat intimidating. And I THINK I did another walk inbetween these two walks, waaa.

It must've been like morning walk was me just walking on this grassy Deich to look for feathers, I saw sheep and my classmates coming back from their jogging. And after a few presentations from our teacher later, I went out again and then saw the military areas around me. And then we did another walk in the evening, I already felt tired because I don't sleep well in new areas for the first night but my legs were feeling this the next morning.

We went out with the ship the next day, it was pretty fun, we were collecting samples which ment catching a bunch of animals inside and on the benthos and sorting them/keeping a few for our aquariums. Also collecting plankton which looked adventurous.

There was this dude.. who was operating this arm of the ship, which is needed to carry around the heavy machinery and he smoked like 15 cigarettes on that day or more, I think he smokes an entire package or two. He seemed somewhat angry but apparently that's just how he is, he does his job well amd pretty much keeps the ship rust free, only thing the crew would have to deal with are his mood swings but I bow to that guy and his commitment to his work.

That day went by quickly, it wasn't too bpring, it wasn't too exciting. Was some perfect neutral, would I be interested to do this as a job? I don't know, I would have to do this more often to get a clear opinion. All the things we did on this trip were exhausting but kept me on my feet and I got enough social interaction which helped me to not dwell on my thoughts too long. At least I can't remember what I was feeling bad about. The thoughts just poofed!

The next day was rather annoying for me, I think it was because I was struggling to understand how to identify these animals, too many odd words in these ID books, everything in English which shouldn't be a problem for me. But it had so many unknown words in there that I couldn't get it into my head and I pretty much just let the others do it. Not thw greatest move, hm I think I would've been happy if we got some more slight assistance but that's my thought of that day

We went to the wadden sea museum on Sunday, I found it spectacular, a bunch if different floors, with different themes and my favourite was the display of different species in one room. And ofc the birds and uh also the cetaceans room. Yes, I bought souvenir too, always gotta buy the magnets. When I have my own apartment or just like ne in 10 years there will be soooo many magnets on my fridge. It'll be full I tell you.

I also enjoyed the tern colony we visited, a bummer that it was just placed on this concrete platform but it also had a very good function. The colony ws protected from any dangers from the mainland, only thing that could come would be peregrines but those birds also have to feed their chicks! So the researchers don't mind if a falcon catches one of the birds, part of life as they say. I think only downside was that they don't really have any job offers since I have to look for a job in about 2 months. Alot of job offers are usually for Uni students, hopefully I will find something soon.

We were allowed to givename suggestions for future terns, they gave all their terns a name, so I ofc suggested my own name, which isn't known by alot of folk around here.

Wellll and on that evening we were preparing to pack our stuff to go to Helgoland, I packed quickly as I usually do. Didn't have much stuff to bring, but I know I would bring a bit more atuff back home duo to the stuff you can buy there.

How do I explain this week.. it was a bit more stressful than the first week. Also the schedule was so tightly packed on that day we only had time to buy food at around 5pm and realised almost all grocery stores would close at 6pm!! I think one was open for longer but we all just walked to one/two of them when we could and I pretty much grabbed whatever.

It was fun day because we also got to see the Fanggarten, where they catch birds and ring them on the island. The volunteer had a song thrush and a Greater Whitethroat in his bags. Birbs are so beautiful up close.

I completely forgot that we like put our stuff in our rooms earlier this day and directly afterwards our teacher talked about the geology of the island. Maybe I forgot this because of the sheer exhaustion I felt on that day. It was interesting but also sad to hear what happened to the island during the war

I was not a big fan of where we stayed, the washing machine costed money, the rooms were tiny (ok these are probably very stupid complaints but I think I was used to different things so much that this was a pain in my eyes) and oh my god the showers, they were in another room and thankfully seperated by cabinets, but the actual showers were terrible, I didn't feel clean afterwards, these showers are typically in public swimming pools.

The next days were just getting specimens, identifying them and going to the city part of the island and looking at things to buy, I got magnets, postcards, rum, a knife, tictacs (yes), uuh food, and prolly other souvenir I forgot about.

I also spend a good portion at the beach, there were eider ducks calling in the distance which was incredible, they have the most goofiest sound of all time. Pure entertainment right there. Later I saw some classmates vibing so I just joined them for a bit and then returned to collect some seaglass. I also found feathers on that beach which was nice

We looked at the rock formations and also walked up the big staircase, hoh boy it was super exhausting on the first day, I think it got better the next days since I walked so much.

And on some evenings we started drinking alcohol, this peaked on the last night we stayed there, I thankfully didn't drink on that night. But many from my class got drunk, vomited or just were grumpy. Including me because my classmate who slept in a room with me vomited in her bed, which led to me not having alot of sleep on that day. It just shows that sleep is important otherwise I just become grumpy. But I wasn't angry at her for long.

But before everyone got drunk on that day we visited the dune island next to the main island, which was prolly the most fun part of helgoland (next to the breeding colony on the main island, this one is also very fun to look at). And I pretty much walked everwhere I could, I found red flint, a bunch of feathers and birb bones. Nothing too crazy but I was amazed how beautiful this island looked like. I haven't really been on any sandy beaches in a while.

Helgoland is pretty but I think I'd have to stay there for longer to get a proper picture of it.

I also had an encounter with a strange man on my last evening there, I think he was flirting with me but was also keeping boundaries. Only thing that was suspicious was the way he spoke to me. I was able to just bring him to the dining room where ny classmates were and then get rid of him later when we finished speaking and I had to vacuum.

It probably messed with my emotions on that day duo to lack of sleep. Surely this guy is waaay too old for me but it made me wonder about relationships. Do I want to be in one? Do I even have a desire for it? Like am I even interested in this? Romantic relationships feel weird to me, I made bad experiences with guys/men who wanted to exploit me or were only interested in one thing. I have no positive experience about this because I never was in a relationship to begin with. It feels like you firstly need to love yourself, be confident and do well with criticism and need to find some partner that would fit your criteria. I don't even know what criteria I'd look out for. I don't even feel like googling, since I am not interested to spent time on this. It feels very weird to me to just commit alot of time to nourish a specific relationship, since I like to be alone most of the time. Imagine having to juggle your hobbies with a romantic relationship, I don't know what to imagine. It's rather scary.

Well now I'd like to move to the last week/this week of events

Next day was great (even tho I clearly didn't sleep enough again becauseI was listening to music >:) heheh) we went to Spiekeroog, I must say it is a very beautiful Island, I wish I could work there immediately. There are like actual sandy beaches! and they're so long that I was just in awe. I walked barefoot while we walked on the beach. Just me walking around finding feathers and stomping around the water here and there. Could ask for nothing more on that moment, all my needs are met.

My feet felt super soft afterwards, my classmates found it weird that I talked about feet but come on! Wouldn't you like clean and soft feet? Don't lie to yourself, this isn't about the fetish. Feeling clean is nice dhskdbsjdj

I didn't find too many crazy things on that island, but I bought a bird book!! heheheheheheheh

Next day was basically just us driving around the mini bus, listening to music and occasionally listening to our geology teacher about the region and the components used in churches. It was awkward when we went inside the church minutes before the session there started, mist be weird having a class shortly visit and then walk out very soon. Sorry about that

Nothing much to say about that day, tho on each evening we played ganes or just vibed together... in one night I wanted to go to the toilet but one of my classmates was literally hiding on the toilet because... our other classmate was snoring?! No clue why he was hiding from that but I hushed him out of the bathroom so that I could use the toilet.

Next day was us walking through the wadden sea.. hoh boy it felt annoying, only fun part was when the guy (who would take us through the wadden sea and lead a save route) didn't speak 638382838 things and tried to test us as if we were taking an exam.

If there is one thing I hate, is exams. Last months I realised or atleast because the finals are soon.. that school is just teaching me how to learn for exams. I had so many struggles irl while having to juggle exams that I couldn't even get myself interested in most topics, because I was too busy thinking about the next exam. I think covid also added stress since I caught that last year. But yeah, I really don't wanna go to uni or anything after this, I find exams only to be semi good. When I look at job applications I realise how much I didn't learn, because we focused so much on grades that it's just ridiculous. At this point I feel like I have to teach the remaining things I didn't learn myself, because how do I get into this field? They want people who already worked! This goes for both fields I am interested in, well art feels more intimidating.

Because I am just someone out of thousands, I have less chances in art than in smth museum based. But I am ofc always trying to get better at things. And just continue to learn new things all the time. Can't wait to not worry about exams anymore, I'll feel free

Anyways, sonxe this guy made me feel anger towards exams I shall continue ze trip talk.

My favourite part was when we reached the sandy part of the wadden sea, my legs obv sank into the mudd when we were in the muddy area. It wasn't tooo bad just very exhausting. I wouldn't mind doing it again

But yes when we reached the sandy part, I saw the perfect opportunity to just run for a bit, and breathe in the fresh air. Since I won't get another chance in a long while to walk around the literally sea floor. It felt very nice, it felt freeing in some way. Just running around for a bit and just letting your inner child have fun.

When we reached the mainland again we cleaned ourselves up and went to buy groceries again. Well I walked into the store barefoot.. which is quite the experience because I immediately got the thought "will anyone notice? Will it be weird?" But I thought naaah whatever I am just walking barefoot, I ain't breaking rules. Atleast I noticed that I never thought about what it would be like to walk *barefoot* into a store.

I mean I can say that the floor feels nice and smooth, but it also felt cold and my clothing was still semi wet duo to the walk through the mudd/washing our legs afterwards.

when we were back in our house I changed clothes and laid in bed for a bit. When I took a shower on that day I made it extra warm, I needed that after shivering for a good while.

We collected samples ofc, I collected some cool hermit crabs there. We put them into the aquariums and would identify the species on the next day. That went by quickly we didn't find many species. maybe 15 or so

Well and when that was concluded we pretty much had free for the day, we still discussed a few things and did a small trip around the institute again to look at the machinery or see what the other scientists are doing.

On that evening we played games, talked about random stuff, I talked about bus lore (my classmates asked some very intimate bus lore questions which I found hilarious. I think I answered them all) which reminds me I also wrote some bus lore on some days, I had a small break though with some plottholes which I'll try ti implement the coming days, through tumbkr and toyhouse.

We played a card game on the last evening, I don't know hie it was called. But I didn't care if I would fin or not, I had my good laugh on that evening.

Oh shit I remember, we went to a restaurant on that day too. All you can eat buffet! I troed out so much, I was quite full but I got like 3 plates full of food. I even tried out wallaby meat and a whole tiny octopus? Or squid I think

I think the only thing I didn't like was a specific type of ice cream, so I did the only. logical thing: I asked my classmate to try it out and watch her face turn from neutral to literal disgust in mere seconds.

I also laughed way too long at one point, I apparently found something suoer funny and just started laughing for 3-5min straight. And then my classmate comes at ne with a thanos joke... thanos but as a whale (whanos) I just. I just couldn't stop laughing

The meme was so terrible but I knew anything would make me laugh out loud at that point.

I still remember how we all sat in our room before we went to bed. My 4 classmates were all huddled together in one bed while I laid in the other. There isn't a big reason why I laid alone. I just like laying a bit seperate from people. But it just felt nice being together with people whom you trust and already knew for a while and just hang out for 3 weeks. I think I will never forget this trip. I think it taught me a lesson but I don't know how to put it into words.

I hope with this new knowledge I can progress further and try out new things or just experience life to the fullest.

When I was younger I was always an outcast of some sorts, never fitting in. I always wanted to experience something normal people experience. Well I think I did experience something like that now, I tried out so much and was just being myself

Seeing that people appreciate me for who I am and enjoy my company.

Life seems scary for me at times, my main things that scare me are exams, finding an apartment to live in and finding a job to make money.

I wish we could spent more time just socialising and enjoying life, rather than thinking about money, or atleast live a bit more stress free.

I wouldn't mind going kn a trio that would last a year with my classmates. Ik that is just sone random imagination but it would sound nice, just enjoying our time together and not overworrying too much. At least I think my problems just poofed away quickly. I wasn't angy at people for long, maybe at one classmate but then I forgot why I was angry.

So yes this was my trip, I also pretty much just laid down and vibed tonight. No music or listening to music or whatever. Just in my room in silence. Feels needed

#Gonna have to hop on my laptop in a bit and put a read more option on this so I don't have to scroll so much afterwards #was a good trip tho #would do it again #zeons trips

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moth-feeet · 2 years ago

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i never talk about this but i’m feeling especially sad about it cause i’m on my period so i’m gonna rant to you all!

i have several physical disabilities and recently my neurologist presented the possibility of seizures being the culprit causing my fainting spells. i took the last year of school (10th/sophomore) off and resting and healing, so i left public school and started online. obviously that sucked cause i didn’t get to see my tc who for now i’ll call W. it was hard, he is one of the greatest people i’ve ever known and after a year in his class we became close so i continued to email him throughout my past school year away.

this year the plan was to return to school, i would be at a private religious school (im not religious but it is just one of the better schools in my area) and i would most likely be placed back into W’s class given how small of a school it is.

that whole plan might be thrown out the window. my mother is considering the idea of “home bound” it’s a government thing that is free schooling where a teacher would come to my home three days a week to teach. i, under no circumstance, would be able to work along side W ever again. which is devastating.

in all honesty i hated school, i was bullied, i was severely su!cid!al, and it worsened my health, leaving last year was a great idea. but i’ve been entirely alone most days all year, given my family works and i do not. i don’t have a car or license and if i have a seizure disorder i never will. again devastating.

basically this is all to say i won’t get to see W, he and i used to have what he called our “book club” every lunch. he’d sit at his desk and id usually pull a chair near his desk and he’d read while we ate. he read me great gatsby, he read a few nonfiction books, he read poetry, he read so many beautiful books and i would sit and listen and it was truly the most amazing experience i’ve had at a school.

i want to go back and be in his class and see my friends, but i also hated the school, the nurse and several teachers tried to force me into confessing i was lying and never passed out and was just trying to leave school. i had many fainting spells, migraines, i have ehlers danlos syndrome (eds), so on multiple occasions i had dislocated joints in pe. but through all the awful shit that school put me through, W was there.

he would have days in class where he’d put on an educational film, he taught geography and history so usually something along those lines, and we’d all lay on the soft carpet in his room and he’d sit down on the floor with us.

he was so sweet and always so worried about me, i’d come in and he’d ask if i was dizzy or felt bad and always let me lay in the couch in his room if i wasn’t feeling well.

he was such a safe place. and now i might never been in his class again.

ig all i’m saying is it sucks losing my life to stupid shit like my disabilities. i was so happy at the idea of seeing W every day again and now i’m not sure i’ll be able to leave my home again.

it all sucks.

#female hysteria #tc confessions #tc community #ehlers danlos awareness #disabled

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 3 years ago

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𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄 • 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐖 • 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

Part one | masterlist | jack Harlow masterlist

SUMMARY: after jack left that night, you look for comfort in Urban

GENRE: angst, implied smut, fluff

WARNING: side chick shit, urban being nice I guess

PAIRING: jack Harlow x reader, urban Wyatt x reader

AUTHOR NOTE: I'll make one more part after this

Enjoy

🌸☁️💗🧚✨💅🏾🌺🌷🌠🍓🍭🎠🌼☄️

after Jack left without offering you a response you cried. jack knew he didn't love her any longer. he knew you could give him more than her, he knew you made him more happier even if he wanted to deny it, yet his dumbness took over him.

the next morning you woke up feeling like shit. your head was pounding, face was puffy, and you were sore from the actions of last night. you tried your best to not think about jack; you knew if you did you would end up in tear. to distract yourself you put on some succession. as you were laying there your phone ringed. you leaned over to the coffee table picking up your phone. you looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Urban. A groan escaped your lips. judging by what had happed last night he was most likely calling about jack and you.

as much as you wanted to ignore him you knew he would keep calling until you picked up the phone.

"hi urban." you didn't sound even try to sound happy like you usually did. urban took note of that. "you good ma?"

"oh, you haven't heard?" you tilted your head to the side as you waited for Urban to answer. "no, what did I miss."

You told urban all about last night. He listened, not interrupting you one bit. It was nice knowing you could get it off your chest.

"damn ma. I'm sorry jack is a dick. I've tried to tell him so many times to break up with her yet he don't listen."

"It is what it is." You said with a sigh.

"hey, get over it." Urban said abruptly. "How. It's so fresh in my mind."

"how about I take you out. Let's go bowling, what you think?" Urban asked. You smiled to yourself at his suggestion. Before he went away to tour with Jack he would always go bowling with you. He knew it was the only thing he was good at so he usually begged you to go. ever since he came back 3 months ago he hadn't asked you to go bowling again, until now.

"yeah, let's do it."

"I'll see you at 6 then."

You and urban ended the call after a bye. You didn't notice you were smiling so much until you felt your cheeks burning. It was nice to be smiling again.

Around 5 you got up, took a shower, did your makeup, and picked out a simple outfit, jeans and a graphic tee.

At 6 you heard a knock on the front door. You walked to the front door, you opened it to see urban standing on the other side. "Hey, you ready?"

"yeah."

You grabbed your phone before you walked to the car with urban. The both of you got in and made your way to the bowling alley.

When you and urban arrived you both grabbed your bowling balls and shoes and began to play.

"I'm totally going to beat your ass." You said confidently. "You always say that, but I always win." Urban said smiling at you.

"well I'm going to win this time. Be ready." Urban rolled his eyes. "We'll see."

After 8 rounds you and urban finished your game. "I told you I was going to win." Urban said as you both walked out of the Ally. You groaned, rolling your eyes at him.

"shut up."

Urban laughed and pushed you with his shoulder.

Urban drove you home once you got in the car. The whole way over he was rubbing his bowling win in your face. You couldn't help but laugh at how happy he was the whole way back to your place. You didn't notice that you hadn't thought of jack the whole night while you were out with urban. It was refreshing to have him off your mind after being fucked over by him.

Urban pulled into your driveway, he turned off the car before looking at you.

"you had a good time?"

You nodded, "yeah, I had great time. Thank you."

Urban brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear as he looked at your eyes then your lips. "Good."

Before you could think about it your lips were on Urban's. His hand came up to your cheeks pulling you deeper into the kiss. Before it could get any further you pulled away from him

"urban." You breathed out against his lips. "we shouldn't."

"it's ok, no one has to know."

You felt him smirk against your lips. You knew you shouldn't, but your body was telling you to go for it.

You reconnected your lips with his. The kiss was heated. You both ended up in your house and in your bed.

Urban managed to leave you in a moaning mess. He made you orgasm 3 times that night which you weren't used to.

Once the sex was over you laid in Urban's arms breathless.

"you know we can't tell jack right?" You looked up at Urban who nodded. "Yeah, I know. He won't know."

As soon as Urban said that you heard your front door open. A frown settled upon your face before your eyes widen. When you and Jack were just beginning to fuck you gave him a spare key just in case he wanted to come over Any day. You totally forgot about the key until this very moment.

"urban, get your stuff and hide." You quickly said. Urban did what you said and hid in the bathroom connected to your room. As he shut the door jack had made his way to your door. He pushed it open seeing you laying in the bed.

"Jack what are you doing here?"

"you weren't picking up my calls so I came over. Y/n we need to talk."

As jack was ready to explain himself urban made a noise in the bathroom. You squeezed your eyes shut knowing he was busted.

"who's in the bathroom?"

Jack walked over to the door and opened it. "Urban!?"

---

Hahaha

Taglist open

@mistress-ofevil @euphoricharlow @creme-delacreme

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow smut #jack Harlow x you #urban Wyatt #urban Wyatt x reader #urban Wyatt smut

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christopher-bangnaldoskzz · 3 years ago

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hello! if possible could you write sth with (dom)felix × breeding kink? id also like to say that I find your works really enjoyable and can't wait to read more of them in the future! hope you have a great day/night!! 🤍

Felix x reader

Genre: Smut smut and more smut 🔞🔞🔞🔞

Word count: 1.2k

Trigger warning: unprotected sex (never do it) breast sucking and fucking, clit simulation, teasing.

If you are not 18+ do not go any further

Note: i know Felix isn't a Dom in this smut lol i just don’t see him like that so i wrote what i wanted with the same story line hope you like it.

“What do you mean….I’m not fucking you without a condom,” an argument you often had with your boyfriend.

“Hear me out,” he said, following you into the room.

“No, Felix,” you said, sitting on the bed.

“Baby listens…….you are like three days out from your period, right?” Here we go with trying to convince you shit happens every month.

“That’s not the point….some girls ovulate right before a period” you weren’t lying to him.

“We’ll get the morning after pill” he had an answer for everything.

“Easy for you to say,” you scoff. He’s not the one that has to take the pill.

“Why don’t you just get the rod or take the pill” you could tell he was frustrated.

“Felix, they fuck up your body” you had the discussion with him when you first got together.

……

Two days later, you usually start to spot a day before your period, not to mention how horny you felt right before. You cleaned up the dishes when you felt these arms wrap around your waist.

“You okay?” He kissed your shoulder.

“Yeah, why?” You are still scrubbing the dinner out of the pot.

“Your frowning”, he kissed behind your ear, and you wished he hadn’t. This was your sweet spot, the spot that would make you do anything.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to”, the truth.

“Does your tummy hurt?….. I can wash the dishes” he kissed behind your ear again.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t have my period yet” you turn around, your back now to the sink, Felix's nose touching yours.

He gives you a soft kiss you didn’t realise you wanted. Felix pulls back “let me help you dry” Felix turns around to grab a tea towel out of the drawer. You had other plans. As Felix turns around, you peck his lips. He freezes, not expecting you to do that. He kissed you back, slowly walking you into the cold kitchen counter.

He helps set you on top. You are only wearing his white T-shirt. “I love you so much,” he said, pausing the kiss to catch his breath. You pull him back in for a deeper, more sexual kiss. His hands slide down to your hips. Then one slides down to your inner thigh.

His finger traced along your underwear line. He then runs his fingers over your clothed folds. He pulls away from the kiss. “Are you sure your okay?……no tummy pain?” There was always a little discomfort right before your period, but you read when you were younger that sex during and before periods could help with the pain.

“I’m fine, Felix” you pull him back, legs wrapped around his waist. You begin to grind on his already hard member.

“Wait….I’ll have to get a condom” he try’s to unwrap your legs, but you grip on tight.

“Don’t worry about it”, you say, heavy breathing.

“But…all that talk the other day”, he gulped.

“I thought about it…. Would it be so bad if we got pregnant” his eyes widened. The truth is, Felix wouldn’t mind having a baby. He’s always wanted to be a dad.

“Are you joking?” He was so confused you had always made him wear a condom ALWAYS.

“Felix….. are you going to fuck me or not” you are dead serious.

“Fucken oath” he pulled you off the counter and carried you to the bedroom.

Laying you on the bed, your hand roams down to his pants. You are desperate at this point.

“Easy…Easy…..why are you so desperate” he giggled as he grabbed your hand that was currently pulling his pants down.

You stop and raise your eyebrows “did you really just say that to me.”

“Sorry, I’ll just shut up” he kissed your neck, working his way up to your earlobe.

“I’m not desperate, by the way,” you say as he kisses your sweet spot.

“No….definitely not, baby” he starts licking and sucking behind your ear.

You giggle as you slowly pull up his shirt. Felix stops to remove his shirt. He stares down at you before he resumes kissing your neck.

“Felix…” you whine. He’s so slow you need him inside you now.

He scoffs, “fine….use me” you push him down excited.

“This is gonna be so fun…hehe” your giggle makes Felix chuckle. He loved it when you took over.

You start by kissing down his chest, down his stomach and to his v line. Slowly as you move his shorts down, you kiss further and further down until his cock pops out of the shorts. You lick from his v line up his stomach and to his neck in one stroke. You place a sloppy kiss on his lips. “What to try something new?” You smile. Felix is shocked. Who is this person? This was not his girlfriend.

You slide down and spit on the tip of his already hard cock. You slowly spread it down his shaft, making sure to make eye contact the entire time. You had pretty big breasts, and you planned a little surprise for Felix. You had overheard him and Hyun-jin talking about fucking your tits the other week.

“Hold this still, okay” Felix holds his dick in place, not knowing what will happen. You take Felix’s shirt off, revealing your bare chest, boobs perky, nipples hard.

You squish your breast together, sliding his penis in between “holy fuck, hyunjin was right” you don’t think he meant to say that aloud.

You smile, pleased with yourself, you start to slide your breast up and down his shaft; Felix closes his eyes in enjoyment.

“This feels amazing” are the first words you’ve heard from him in a while.

“I want you to come inside me,” you say, letting go and crawling back up his body.

“I can do that…..anything you want, baby,” he says, leaning up to kiss you.

“Fuck me so good, Felix, please” Felix made quick ground. Before you know It, your underwear is thrown on the ground, and Felix has you lying on your side, your favourite position.

He pulls your shoulder back so your body is now leaning against his. He lifts your leg and rests it on his hip. “Perfect…I know how much you love when I do this” he lines himself up and pushes his member into your core.

He shoves his face into your neck as he thrusts in and out, cupping your breast and squeezing. It wasn’t long until his thrusts got sloppy. He was getting close, and so wear you.

“Come with me, baby,” you said

With that, he let go of your breast. You leant further back, twisting your torso, exposing your bouncing breasts to him. He latches on and traces his hand down your stomach sending shivers down your spine. He uses his tongue to flick your nipple then his hand finally reaches your clit. Using a circular motion, he sends you over the edge, “Felix, I’m about to…” just like that, you hit your high, your walls tighten around Felix’s cock as he realised inside you.

“Oh my god,” you say, coming down from your fantastic high.

“It was good, huh,” Felix said, pulling out and rolling onto his back. It was the best sex you two had ever had with each other.

“Wow”, you are out of breath. “Well, I better take a shower” you roll off the bed.

“Wait for me. I want to come” Felix quickly rolls off and meets you in the bathroom.

“Why, all of a sudden, do you want to shower with me” you smirk

“I was hoping to make you cum like that again…..but this time around, my fingers”, he grinned.

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thelordofgifs · 2 years ago

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#ough#and the animosity the probably feel for each other#that maedhros still loves maglor even though maglor couldn’t save him from the thangorodrim#idk i feel like id be pretty annoyed about that from fingons pov (via @maglorslostsilmaril)

Fingon heard Maglor from some distance outside the healing tent; he was singing one of the old songs made on the Great Journey, praising the stars and the forests and the rivers alike. A pointless little ditty, Fingon might have called it.

They had made songs on the Ice, too: songs for warmth in the bitter frozen wastes, songs to guide the lost through blizzards, songs to keep some semblance of strength in weary legs. They sounded truer to Fingon's ears, now, than the music he had grown up hearing – but it had been one of the old childhood songs that he had himself sung on Thangorodrim, one of those pointless ditties with which Maedhros had answered.

So he waited, patiently, until Maglor had finished singing before he pushed into the tent.

To his surprise Maedhros was awake, sitting propped up against his pillows as he listened to his brother. Maglor's hands were full of badly-folded bandages and a couple of jars of ointment. They had realised, early on, that it was better that they learned how to change Maedhros' dressings themselves than endure the terror with which he responded to unfamiliar hands.

Maglor started when he saw Fingon, and dropped his burden; in his characteristic careless manner he swept everything untidily into a basket and turned away from it. "Findekáno," he said with a nod.

"Makalaurë," Fingon said coolly.

"I'll leave you now, then, Nelyo," Maglor said. His hand twitched as though he wished to lay it on Maedhros' arm, but he restrained himself.

Maedhros had been staring at his lap, but he looked up as Maglor made his way out. "You'll be back later, Káno?"

Maglor smiled at him. "Before sundown," he said. "I'll be here to sing you to sleep, I promise."

And we know how good you are at keeping your promises, Fingon thought, but did not say aloud. "Hello, Russo."

Beloved, he wanted to say. Beautiful. My heart's own. All endearments that had fallen very easily from his lips once: but it was still far too early to talk about that now.

All the same, today looked to be a good day, for Maedhros' lips curled up into a small smile as he said, "Hello, Finno." And then, because Maedhros was never predictable, "You're angry with him."

"I'm not," Fingon said unconvincingly.

"Finno," said Maedhros, for a moment the reproving elder cousin again.

Fingon sighed and kicked at the ground a little. He had not wanted to discuss his own resentments – however valid he thought them – with Maedhros, who could not yet sleep through the night without being roused by some screaming terror. "How can you forgive him?" he asked at last. "He left you there."

"I never said I forgave him," Maedhros said quietly.

"Not in so many words! But you make your preference very clear." Now Fingon sounded both bitter and childish. Frustratedly, he got up from Maedhros' bedside to begin clearing away the mess Maglor had left. "How can you still love him, after what he did?"

Maedhros was silent for a time. Finally he looked up at Fingon – the late afternoon sunlight filtering through his long copper lashes, casting gentle shadows on his face that blurred the sharp hollows of his cheeks – and said, "I was the first person in the world to hold him."

"Russo," said Fingon, because Maedhros' voice was turning a little dreamy, which was often a bad sign.

"Before my mother," Maedhros continued. "Before even my – my father, they gave him to me. You cannot – you cannot ever hate a person, when you have held them in your arms in the first minute of their life."

Fingon thought this a poor explanation, and although he said nothing his face must have betrayed him, for Maedhros looked at him and sighed.

"I know he did not do what you did," he said. "I know he left me. I know that he is very sorry, too!"

Fingon snorted. "Yes, he is good at that." He came to sit beside Maedhros again.

Maedhros did not shiver at the proximity, which was encouraging. He was still looking at him thoughtfully. "It cannot make up for it," he said in a low voice. "I know that. I know that it was the hardest decision he has ever had to make – and I know in his place I would not have done the same."

"Then," said Fingon.

Maedhros smiled again. "Then? Do you think I should stop loving him – just as you did me, when you saw the ships burning?"

"Russo," Fingon protested. "That isn't true." He had thought it was, perhaps. He had told himself that Maedhros was nothing to him, that if they met again in Beleriand Fingon would turn away from him and be silent. But he had known it for an angry lie long before anyone had told him that Maedhros had stood aside at Losgar.

"I know," said Maedhros. "And I know that I have loved my brother for as long as I have known what love is, that I cannot cut him out of my heart without cutting my heart out too. He is – he is very dear to me, Finno." His breath was coming quickly now.

"I believe you," Fingon assured him hastily. "Don't overexert yourself." He fetched another pillow and Maedhros settled against it, looking drained.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, before Fingon dared to ask, "Am I – too?"

Maedhros looked at him, and then, very tentatively, laid his hand atop Fingon's. Oh, he was still very beautiful, for all that this skeletal ruin bore little resemblance to the fair laughing prince Fingon had loved in Tirion upon Túna. And this smile – the soft and secret smile that Fingon alone ever saw – had not yet changed.

"In quite a different way, I should think," he said, and Fingon smiled too.

Fingon and Maglor parallels though, the way their Quenya names (Findekáno and Kanafinwë) so obviously mirror each other – and which of them is the elder? – and how Fingon dies tragically trying to do the right thing and Maglor survives having done nothing but the wrong thing, the way both their character arcs are so inextricable from Maedhros!! The way Maglor failed to rescue Maedhros and Fingon managed it! The fact that they’ve both been (kind of, acting at least) High Kings of the Noldor and they’re both noted to play the harp! The undeniable fact that Fingon’s death is what causes Maedhros to become the terrible person he becomes, that Fingon made Maedhros better, and Maglor never stopped him from becoming worse. The way they bookend Maedhros’ story actually – his first line in the published silm being his mention of Fingon at Losgar, and his last being spoken to Maglor. The fact that he loved them both, and that didn’t save anyone.

#silmarillion #my fic #fingon #maedhros #maglor #russingon #sorry idk where this came from #but your tags happened to hit upon one of my firmly held headcanons #so I bashed this out in like 45 mins #and yes I absolutely agree

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