#listen a lot can happen to a man in 11 years

[r4fe-cam3ron]

| HOW CAN WE GO BACK TO BEING FRIENDS? — d. lizewski x reader

w; none! fluff! that’s about it.

an; i wrote this in like 30 minutes PLEASE be kind 😭 i don’t plan stuff correctly — i apologize. but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! love you all <3

Marty and Todd were talking your ear off — it didn’t help that they both were yelling over the music and the other chattering that was going on around in the small, cooped up bar. 

You’re hoping that the two girls they invited would soon show and take the chattering boys away and dance. And so you could go home. 

Your eyes bounce between the two boys, brows pinched inward slightly as you try to listen to the conversation they had begun. 

“Sorry I’m late.” Your head quickly turns, eyes landing on a sight for sore eyes — Dave, in all his handsome glory. But there’s a bruise forming around his eye and his nose has a cut over the bridge. 

It looked fresh. 

“What happened?” You motion towards your own face, watching as he walks over. 

“Ah, good ole’ Jake is who I have to thank for this shiner,” He fixes his jacket on his shoulders as he avoids eye contact with you. Frowning, because you don’t believe a word he says, you begin to respond. He cuts you off before anything is said. “Do you need another drink?” He motions towards your empty cup.

Your lips remain in a slight frown as you stare at him. You finally shake your head, fingers clenching your jacket. ��Uh, no,” You look away and towards your cup that has a bit of remaining red liquid — alcoholic fruit punch. So yummy, it’ll give you a stomach ache. “I think I’m just gonna head back to the dorm.” 

You slide out from the booth, slipping your jacket back on. You’re regretting wearing this nice outfit on a boring night — a night that’s supposed to be fun. It’s New Year’s eve for crying out loud. 

“Oh, come on! You’re just gonna leave us?” Marty throws his arms up, his glasses shifting a bit. 

“Yeah! You haven’t even met our ladies!” Todd exclaims, cheeks a pretty pink from the second boozy punch he had downed. 

You smile a bit, shaking your head. You slip the hat from your head that some random girl had placed onto it, before slipping it onto Todd’s. “Nope. I’m gonna get some sleep early,” Your fingers mess up Marty’s hair before waving. “See you later, guys.” 

Dave watches with a frown as you turn and walk away. Todd glances between the two of you, before his eyes finally land on Dave. “Well?” 

His blue eyes leave the window as you pass by, landing on the tipsy boy. “Well what?” 

“Are you gonna go after her?! It’s—”

“New Year's Eve. Yeah, I know. If you haven’t noticed, there’s banners and hats and glitter all around.” He motions with his fingers. Todd grins. 

“I’d go after her if I were you,” He checks his watch. “You still have a bit of time.” 

“A lot of time, actually.” Marty corrects. 

Dave rolls his eyes. “I’m not…going after her,” He stands from the table. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” He motions towards the bar. 

“Your funeral, man!” He waves his hand a bit, trying to get some more from his empty cup. His lips leave the plastic straw. “Get me another, David!” 

—

11:30. 

Dave’s getting a bit antsy now. It’s been two hours since you left and since he’s gotten the drink that remains barely touched and watered down from the melted ice. 

Marty and Todd’s friends — Marissa and Connie — arrived an hour ago and he feels like the fifth wheel. Glancing at the clock, he watches as the time turns to 11:31.  

He stands from his seat, grabbing his jacket that lies on the back of his chair. Todd glances over. “Where are you going?” 

“Uh…” He slips his arms into his jacket. It’s not that he needs to lie. But he also doesn’t want to hear the teasing that would take place. But he’s too late. Todd has already pieced it all together. 

“Ohhhh! Go on! Go!” He rushes him. Dave’s a bit taken back that is all he says, but he’s silently grateful when he looks back at the clock and it’s suddenly 11:35. 

Time, please slow down next year. 

Pushing in between bodies, he pushes the door open before beginning to jog down the street, curls bouncing with every step. His chest is heaving, and calves are burning, but he keeps pushing. 

If he could beat up bad guys and practically miss death each time, he can beat the clock. He stops and takes a wheezing breath, eyes darting around at the crowd. The stares he was getting from strangers was questionable — Why is this boy running down a crowded sidewalk? 

Lifting his wrist to check his watch, he lets out a small huff — 11:50. 

He was close to the dorm, but he was also close on time. Beginning his jogging once again, his chest jumps a bit when he hears a sudden BANG in the sky, the fireworks spreading color along the buildings and reflecting windows. 

There’s a drop of something against his cheek, that slowly slides down towards his neck. He lifts up a shoulder quickly as he makes a quick turn, wiping it away. Soon, it’s a cold sprinkle, causing him to shiver.  

He stumbles to a stop when three girls file out of the building before slipping inside. They glance back but shrug and keep walking. 

The elevator door slides close as soon as he steps inside, a small groan escaping his mouth. He wastes no time to run up the stairs, the sounds of his heavy breath, the fireworks outside, and the laughter from inside the complex is the only thing he hears. 

Once he stops in front of your door, he’s quick to knock and lift his wrist at the same time. 

11:5….9. 

He stands with bated breath as his eyes lift from his watch and towards your door. He brings his hand up to knock once more, but stops when the door opens. 

12:00. 

“Dave? What are you—” 

He cuts you off with pressing his lips onto yours, calloused hands cupping your cheeks. Your fingers momentarily grip the door before loosening, melting into the kiss, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck. 

Slowly pulling away, his nose grazes yours and his glasses fog up a tiny bit. You smile a bit — cute, you think. 

He’s still heaving, and now, slightly light headed. “Sorry. Hi.” 

“Don’t be sorry. Hey.” You tilt your head, smile growing a bit more, fingers playing with the strands of hair that curl around the nape of his neck. 

“I’ve…wanted to do that for a while but was too nervous,” He nods. “I hope that was—”

It’s your turn to cut him off, closing the short distance and pressing your lips to his. They’re a bit soft, still slightly chapped. You pull away slowly, sliding a hand to his chest. “Stop second guessing yourself, Lizewski,” You notice his wet clothing, pulling away a bit, looking at his jacket. “You have some clothes here…if you’d like to change,” You nod, eyes lifting towards his face once again. 

“And stay. We could watch a movie. Eat some cookies.” 

Dave smiled and pressed one last peck to your lips, and another and another before smiling. “I’d love to.” Nodding, you pull away with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth and cheeks burning. 

You grab his folded clothes and pass it towards him once he steps in fully. He thanks you and grabs them from your hand, making his way towards the bathroom. 

“Oh, Dave?” He stops and turns around quickly. You smile softly, fingers folding together behind your back as you rock on your heels. “Happy New Years.” 

He smiles, fingers tapping on the doorframe of the bathroom. “Happy New Years.” He nods. He steps into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. 

[throughparisallthroughrome]

"Got the Blues Back in Boston"

Chapter 1

Pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Description: Leaving behind an incompatible college and profound heartbreak on the Virginia Coast, you find yourself home again in Brookline, Massachusetts. A new opportunity presents itself to you at MIT, joining your brother ben and childhood friends/neighbors, Anakin and Ahsoka. Despite the familiarity, you discover just how much of a difference 2 years away can really make between the people you once considered family.

Warnings:f!reader, angst, jealousy, pining, smut, masturbation, mentions/descriptions of domestic abuse, cursing, drinking/drug usage, academic obsession, general obsession, hardcore partying, frats, general college bullshit

DISCLAIMER!!! READ BEFORE PROCEEDING: I’ve never been in an abusive relationship- I’ve only witnessed them. I’m an aspiring psychology major and have done a lot of research on the topic of domestic abuse/violence. This series deals with this topic HEAVILY, so be warned. 

Word Count: 6.3k A/N: First chapter is up! I'm sorry it took so long, I was really hoping to nail a certain feel and aesthetic with this series, and I really hope that translates. I'm probably gonna post the playlist I listen to while writing this because it does have a lot of influence on the story and everything. Please let me know if you wish to be tagged! Requests and ask box is open, and any/all criticism is welcome! Thank you for reading and supporting me <3

masterlist.

The drive to Brookline was always a hassle. Whether it was crossing the scary bridge along the coast of Virginia or through New York City—knowing that you’d still never been—it always ached. Maybe it was because you hadn’t been home in two years—and you missed Boston. 

Piled high in the back of your black Ford Focus was the last two years of your life that you could fit. You left behind everything else. 

The forest that encompassed you on I-95 offered a clearer perspective on your situation. As devastating as it had been, your new beginning after high school was not quite what you expected it to be. Hampton was a lovely place; the beaches were excellent, the people friendly, and there was always something to do. Somewhere to go. You made decent money working as a cocktail waitress in a club near your apartment, which is how you met Nick.

Tall, with a handsome face and a charm that was impossible to resist, Nick was the kind of man you couldn't help but be drawn to. He had a gorgeous smile and a body sculpted from the gods. The night you met him, he smooth-talked his way into your bed, introducing himself as Nicholas, saying how he never met someone as beautiful as you. The other waitresses just didn’t compare. And the rest was history. Were you usually the type to sleep with someone on the first date (if you could call it that)? Definitely not. But something about him was so captivating. 

But as the trees passed you by and your grip on your steering wheel tightened, you felt a tear fall onto your shaking hands. What happened to the Nick you loved? What went wrong? Who did you both turn into? Besides, the whole thing going south was your fault- you both knew that. You wanted too much; you let those men flirt, and you were never there for him. You never did what he asked. And you’d never amount to anything. At least, that’s what Nick always told you- and part of you was inclined to believe it. 

Your heart ached at the loss. The 11-hour drive was increasingly painful by the second, only two hours in and not even through the first city. The morning sun beamed in your eye as your car trudged through the wetlands, bathed in its golden hue.1 In the distance, you could make out the skyline of DC, the first city you needed to travel through.

It was nice in DC. You had attended a few times in the past. On one of the many family vacations you took throughout the years, you, your parents, and the Skywalkers had all made a trip together to that specific destination. You intentionally took the longer way home to ensure you remember it all. Besides, the Delaware Peninsula was far from interesting. And you needed the time to think- and probably mentally prepare yourself for what you’d arrive at.

The most exciting part of the trip was Baltimore, Philly, and NYC back to back. Despite sitting in mind-numbing traffic a lot of times, there was always something to look at. And people-watching was always your favorite. You felt your heart hurt, wishing for the opportunities that these cities could bring. As New York City and Hartford disappeared in the rearview mirror, the approaching Boston skyline sent a shiver down your spine, your breath catching in your throat. And there was the traffic.

You shakily reached for a cigarette out of your purse as your car came to a stop, breaking your own promise that you wouldn’t smoke in the car you bought. A wide smile spread across your face as you lit the cigarette, your body relaxing as the sweet scent filled the air. Naturally, your mind went straight to Anakin. Whenever you tasted cigarettes, it was impossible not to think of him and the bittersweet moments you shared. After all, he started your bad habit. Once again, your hands shook. Did he ever think about you while you were gone? You were close, but he was also an incredible pain in your ass. And what if he and Padme suddenly got back together? Ahsoka would have told you, right? Maybe. 

She would have told you. 

The familiar streets of Brookline outstretched before you, energetic and alive, instantly flooding your mind with cheerful memories that brought a grin to your face. Your smile widened across your face as you glanced at the familiar sports bar on the corner, reminiscing about the laughter and friendships you developed during your time as a hostess in high school. You turned the corner at the next light, a quiet laugh escaping your lips as the vibrant lights of the movie theater danced before your eyes, eliciting the sweet nostalgia of your god-awful first kiss. You weren’t expecting little Tommy to stick his tongue down your throat in 7th grade. As you approached Emerson Garden, a bittersweet ache tugged at your heart, memories of laughter and familiarity flooding your mind—the memories it held. 

The streetlights flickered as you turned down the most familiar road of all. You bit your lip in anticipation and ignored the urge to light another cigarette right then and there- your mom didn’t need to know about your filthy habit (although she smoked, too). The soft melodies of Radiohead and the laughter echoed from the back porch as you parked in the driveway. Gazing at the house with a smile, you felt a hint of excitement about reclaiming your old room. It had been far too long. 

The porch light turned on, and out ran Ahsoka, not even giving you a chance to turn your car off.

“You motherfucker!” She yelled, opening the car door and throwing her arms around you as you laughed, “It’s been so fucking long!” 

You looked back at her, pulling the beanie off her head and giggling, “Well, don’t tell the others, but I only came back for you.”

“Shut up,” she stands up, pulling you up with her, “Get your ass inside.” You laugh and salute her, following her through the familiar corridors of your house and into the kitchen. 

“Shut the FUCK up. She’s real!” Your mom squealed and quickly set her wine down, embracing you as if you’d be gone in an instant. “Never leave me like that again.” She pulls away and laughs, her tone laced with a hint of seriousness. 

“Never.” You promised, smiling wide before your dad caught your attention, tossing you a beer and shooting a wink in your direction. Although he wasn't typically sentimental, you could tell he missed you. 

“Where are the boys?” you asked, opening the can and drinking the bitter liquid. “Jesus Christ, Miller Lite never gets better, does it?” You squinted your eyes in disgust, giggling at your own reaction. 

“Nope, thought I taught you better than that.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head. “They’re outside with Cliegg and Shmi.”

“Okay, sweet, I’ll go say hello.” You motion towards the back door, catching a glimpse of Ben from the back porch. 

“Hey,” He grabs your arm before you can turn to leave. “We missed you. I hope you’re okay. Ahsoka didn’t give us any details, but she said things really went to shit in Hampton. I just want to make sure you know you always have a home here, and we will do what we can to make it better, okay?” 

You nodded and smiled before practically running out the back door, forgetting exactly what you were throwing yourself into. 

“You fucker, you cheated!” Anakin yells, throwing down his cards as Ben takes a swig of his beer and laughs. 

“I’m afraid you just have an awful poker face, Anakin.” He sets his cards down and stands up, turning to face you with a smile. “There she is. About time you graced us with your presence.” 

You give a shrug before embracing Ben tightly, fighting back tears welling up in your eyes. You and Ben were close, and you knew that if he found out what happened, it would devastate him. He and Anakin were always there to keep you safe, but you had a distinct sibling connection. He knew you too well, always able to read your thoughts with uncanny accuracy. 

“You okay?” He pulled away and whispered, searching your sad eyes.

“Yeah, just tired. Long ass drive. Took the long way this time.” You sniffled, and he nodded in response, letting go and pulling a chair out between Anakin and what you assumed was Ahsoka’s chair. With a quiet thank you on your lips, you raised your beer to your mouth and took a long, satisfying gulp, feeling a gentle buzz settle in. 

“So, you’re back.” Anakin avoids eye contact, shuffling the cards before him as Ahsoka stifles a laugh. “Took you long enough.”

“Anakin!” Shmi scolds, noticing how his lips turn into a smirk, “You know he missed you, Y/N. He’s just a sore loser. Ben’s kicked his ass at poker three times now.” 

“Ah,” You nod, a grin spreading across your face, “He just doesn’t want to admit he sucks at poker- OW!” You feel a sudden impact as Anakin's foot forcefully meets the top of yours, causing you to shoot a glare in his direction. His eyes remain fixed on the cards, completely disregarding your look, while he bites down on his lip, trying to contain his amusement. "Sore loser indeed," you mutter under her breath, shaking her head in annoyance as you pick up the cards he handed you.

Of course, the hand was awful. You weren’t sure how you’d make it out of this alive. Family poker nights were a tradition started by your parents and the Skywalkers, which you were all quickly introduced to by your 10th birthday. Once you hit double digits, you were old enough to gamble. Ahsoka was always the best, but you had a habit of making a comeback when people least expected it. And you had a great poker face- Anakin did not. Anakin had a habit of wearing every thought and emotion on his sleeve his entire life. Shmi always swore it would be his downfall- as a child, you thought she was just talking about his downfall at poker. But once you got older, you quickly understood. 

When you discovered his breakup with Padme, you felt like maybe part of you understood. But you never really knew why they broke up. Everyone just told you, “They were better off as friends,” and that was all you knew. Did you want the real story? Absolutely. But part of you was worried about what he’d tell you. You knew better than to get involved in Anakin’s love life, and deep down, a part of you didn’t want to taint the image you had always had of him in your mind.

“Heard you finally got into MIT,” Anakin breaks the silence and your train of thought as he pushes a couple of chips into the center of the table, “Congratulations, although I’ve never heard of anyone going to MIT for an Archeology degree.” You roll your eyes and sigh. 

“There it is.” You giggle as everyone groans, setting their cards down as they fold. 

“There’s what?” He shoots you a disapproving glare.

“You’ve never given me a compliment without an insult. Was waiting for it.” You shrug, laying down your cards, “Full house.” Anakin’s jaw drops as you pull all the chips in your direction. 

“Shit,” He mutters, setting his cards down and laying his head on the table as he groans loudly in annoyance, “Fucking done with this game.”

“And so are we,” Shmi motions Cliegg to stand, “Love you guys. Have fun. Good to have you back, sweetheart.” Shmi kisses your head as Cliegg ruffles your hair before leaving to say goodnight to your parents. 

“Mhm,” you hum, finishing the last of your beer, “and plenty of people go to MIT for archeology. It’s a great school. Besides, it’s about time I joined you all there. And it’s only a 15-minute drive. Speaking of- how’s biochemical engineering going, little one?” With a gentle tap on Ahsoka's knee, she reluctantly tears her gaze away from her phone and responds with an eye roll.

“Fucking awful! I love what I’m studying; the school is incredible- just so much work. I’m so tired. I have time for nothing!” She groans and sinks further into her chair while you, Anakin, and Ben burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Coming from a recent MIT graduate- it doesn’t get any better. Just wait until you get further into your major- Biochemical Engineering is far from easy.” Ben offers her a smile while you and Anakin continue giggling. 

“And on that note,” You stand up, shaking your empty can, “I’m getting something stronger than this Miller.” 

As you enter the house, a soft purr fills the air as your familiar furry companion, Giz, wraps himself around your legs. You squat down on the floor and feel the warmth of his fur as you pet him, "Missed you, little guy."

“He missed you too.” Your mom leans against the doorway, handing you an obnoxiously full glass of wine. “Had a feeling you came in for this. Are we gonna talk about what happened?” 

You sigh, standing up and rubbing your hands on your thighs. “Now’s not really the time or place, Mom. I just got here. The last thing I wanna think about is that.” You grab the glass out of her hand and attempt to turn around before her hand is on your shoulder, pulling you back. 

“Not so fast.” You turn around and meet her concerned eyes, your hands feeling more sweaty than they did a minute ago. “Y/N, no one just up and leaves their entire life for the past two years suddenly without something major happening. I know you haven’t told anyone- and I know the last thing you want to do is talk about it- but please, for the love of God, talk to someone. We can all tell something is off. You’re not yourself, honey. We care about you- and we’re concerned. As much as I’m so fucking happy to have you back, I know something bad happened, and I want to be there for you.” 

“Mom,” You put your hand on her shoulder, fighting back tears with a smile. “You’re doing enough. I just want to have a good time, focus on being in my dream school, and g-get my life back together, okay?” 

“O-okay,” she nods, her voice laced with apprehension as she turns away from you and back into the kitchen, “Pasta on the stove if you want it!” 

“Thanks!” you yell, shutting the back door behind you and sighing loudly as you plop back into your chair, earning an eyebrow raise from everyone, “I’m here for an hour and she’s already bugging me.”

“She just loves you, Y/N/N.” Ben tries to reason, and you feel your leg bounce. 

“Yeah,” you mumble, fidgeting with the poker chips on the table.

“So,” Anakin leans forward, opening another beer, “You and that guy still together? What was his name.. Harry? James?”

“Nick.” You answer for him, unconsciously biting your lip. “And no, we’re not.” Everyone’s ears suddenly perked up at the confession, the consensus being just how little they knew about your life. 

“Damn, what’d you do?” Anakin jokes, searching your face for a smile, only to be met with nothing.

“Ha. Good one.” You chuckle under your breath, your lips forming into a frown.

As soon as Anakin brought up Nick, you lost interest in the conversation. Nick never met the family; you only told them about him over the phone while you were gone. He had always insisted that your life was meant to be in Hampton with him, where you would create something new together. You didn’t need to return home to your family; if you did, you’d be leaving him all alone. Holidays and significant moments came and went, and all the while, you were stuck at a college you loathed, sharing your life with a man you mistakenly believed was the one.  

During your nights in Hampton, you and Nick would often find yourselves curled up on the couch, indulging in excessive drinking while he introduced you to various illicit substances. You pretended to enjoy soccer and cocaine, drinking more tequila than you needed. Shot after shot, followed by line after line, you barely knew who you were. He constantly told you how pretty you were, how you were made for him, but if you forgot to run to the liquor store that day, he would treat you as if you were dead to him. Nick offered little in return for your support, except for empty assurances that the life you would build together would make it all worthwhile. Nick's behavior took a downward spiral as he began staying late at work and arriving home in a drunken stupor. From that point on, things spiraled out of control. 

And maybe a part of you once loved Nick, but now you felt suffocated in the relationship. And when you tried to bring things up to him, he’d tell you that you were a cheap whore who was only made to be his personal fuck toy. And just like that, the conversation came to an end. The coercion left, and he started to force you to use the drugs he’d use, tell you to skip class, skip tests, skip your job- you were losing yourself within him, and you were worried about the consequences if you didn’t let it happen. He was always a kind, sweet, romantic boy- but he could be so, so evil. 

And you’ll never forget the first time he hit you, the sound of his hand connecting with your skin echoing in your ears. As you sat on the counter, the alcohol made your vision blur, and your head throbbed as if it was about to explode. You were already at your limit, and the last thing you wanted was to do was another line. Your nose was already starting to bleed a little, and he begged and begged for you to keep going- telling you he needed it. He didn’t want to do it alone- you had to do it. As you stubbornly declined once more, a sudden, fiery sting seared across your cheek, causing your nose to finally bleed and droplets of blood to stain your thigh. He apologized profusely, waiting on you hand and foot as he cleaned you up, held your hair as you puked, washed you, and still talked you into sex- but it had happened. You knew you needed to leave, or your life could be at stake. 

“Y/N?” Ben asks, and you break out of your Nick-induced trance with a sharp gasp, your eyes glossy and lips bloody from your nervous tic. 

“I’ll be back.” You stand back up, taking a concerningly long swig from the wine before exiting out the back gate and into the driveway. 

“I’m really concerned about her.” Ben watches you leave and bites his lip. Ahsoka nods along with him. “Listen, as happy as I am to have her back, something’s not right. As her brother, I just- I fear the worst. She’s not herself.” 

“Did you see the way she reacted when you asked about Nick?” Ahsoka whispered, leaning in to closer to the table, “Something had to have happened.”

“Wait.” Anakin says, as he and Ben both turn to face her, their brows furrowed in confusion and concern, “Ahsoka, you don’t know anything either? She’s your best friend.”

“I- I know nothing. And I hate it.” She confesses to the boys, the air growing thick as Anakin uncomfortably shifts in his seat, and Ben sighs.

“I think I’m gonna try to talk to her.” Anakin stands slowly as Ben raises a brow and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes.

“Anakin, no offense, but I doubt she’ll want to talk to you,” Ahsoka murmured, avoiding his scowl. 

“Well,” he pushes the chair behind him, walking towards the gate. “We’ll see!” 

Curled up in the Papasan chair on the porch, you lit the joint between your fingers and watched as the lights in your neighbor's windows turned off. Your thoughts drifted from Nick and onto the childhood you missed dearly—so many snowball fights on the street before you, bike rides, and scraped knees. You remember the Johnsons across the street particularly not liking Anakin, so you and Ahsoka egged their house, only to backfire and get Anakin in trouble. You confessed to doing it, and no one believed you. It had to be Anakin. But for some strange reason, he never cared. He accepted the punishment, mowed their yard for a year, and never brought it up to you, no matter how many times you apologized. And every apology that slipped from between your lips was met with a grin. 

And that time in 7th grade when Ahsoka really got into it with Julie down the street. She never liked Ahsoka and always found a way to get under her skin. However, this time was particularly awful. When you found Ahsoka, she was sobbing on the corner while Julie laughed at her, calling her pathetic, telling her that even her adopted parents didn’t love her and that her big brother wasn’t there to save her now. But you were. You pushed Julie onto the grass so fucking hard, only for her to get back up and swing. Ahsoka screamed for you to stop, but a newfound rage took over as you pounded into Julie’s face. She ended up on the pavement with a broken nose, and you ended the fight with a fractured wrist and grounded for a month (Only a month because your mom found out who you fought and what she said). Anakin was waiting for Ben to return from tennis and heard the commotion. He ran down the street, finding Ahsoka sobbing, Julie on the pavement, bloody and teary, and you sitting on the corner, shaking and clutching your throbbing wrist in your hand. He instantly asked Ahsoka what happened before making his way to you, holding your wrist, picking you up, and taking you and Ahsoka back to your house. Your mom called Julie’s mom and talked about what happened, and fortunately, Julie confessed to everything. And that’s when you found out her parents were going through a nasty divorce, and Julie was starting therapy. And surprisingly, she actually grew into a really decent, respectable person. 

The four of you had always done everything together. You had always been inseparable. And when you left, it tore that apart. You left a hole in Brookline, and you knew it as well as they did. Even though they swore they were happy for you, moving on and doing more, you could see in their eyes that they selfishly did not want you to leave. They didn’t like the years of friendship to be put on hold just like that. And, of course, you felt guilty about it all, but you thought you needed to get out of Brookline. You assumed you wanted something bigger than Boston, bigger than you, bigger than those childhood friends. And two years later, you realize just how naïve you were. Those were your lifelong friends; your life was in Boston, and your dream school was there, too. You missed them more than you could ever envision, and the guilt ate at you every single fucking day. And you wished that 19-year-old you had just stayed. Things would be so much simpler if you had stayed. You let some pathetic man in Hampton tell you that it was just you and him- forever. And you knew deep down your 19-year-old naive self didn’t believe a fucking word he said- she just wished she did.  

“Oh, that’s not a cigarette.” Your eyes flicker up from the street and towards a drunken Anakin leaning against the patio rail in front of you. His lips were curled into a mischievous smile, his hair curly and messy. 

“No,” You lean forward, handing him the joint, “No, it’s not.” 

“So,” He took a quick draw from the joint, flicking it against the deck railing as he looked back at you and smiled, “You just got here, and you’re already running from us? What’s up with that?” 

You scoff, snatching the joint from him and leaning back in the chair. 

“Just wanted some alone time, is all.” You avoid his gaze, and it’s his turn to scoff, plopping himself next to you in the chair. 

“Yeah, because you’ve been so fond of that your entire life. I don’t believe you.” 

“And? Never said I cared that you did.” You quickly retorted, earning an eyebrow raise and a smirk. 

“Relax,” he said, snatching the joint back from you and holding it hostage. “Talk to me. It’s just us.” His hand met yours; his gaze was intense and empathetic. 

You weren’t sure why you wanted to tell him. It was probably the weed mixed with a bit of liquid courage, but in that moment, you needed to get it out. He was so welcoming, holding your hand and offering you the comfort you needed in that moment. Was it pure manipulation? Possibly. But you knew Anakin loved you just as much as you loved him, and you knew you could trust him. He had kept your secrets before, so what’s another one? However, none of those other secrets typically included an abusive relationship; it was mainly about Ben and Ahsoka. You gripped his hand back, watching his eyes soften and his lips curve into a small smile.

“Just-” You started, dropping your voice into a low murmur, “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” He looked into your eyes like he would die to protect your secret. That was precisely what you needed to see. 

“Nick- uh- sorry,” You sniffled, rubbing your eyes as you searched for the right words. “He- uh- he hurt me—a lot. I barely made it out of that relationship in one piece. I think my breaking point was when I asked him to visit for your grandma’s funeral, and he knocked me out. I woke up in my bathtub, my face covered in my blood, and he was gone. I applied to MIT that morning. The day after I got in, I packed everything I could and left. He’s blocked on everything, and he hasn’t attempted to reach out in any sort of way. Anakin- I don’t know what would have happened to me if I didn’t leave.”

Your eyes met Anakin’s glossy ones as your hands shook underneath his touch. He crooked his head to the side, bringing you in for a much-needed hug. You let yourself cry softly in his arms, feeling his shaky hands rub in slow motions up and down your back, his other hand stroking the top of your scalp.

 But when he looked back at you, the softness in his gaze had disappeared. His fists clenched at his side, his eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lip in frustration. 

“A-Anakin?” 

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell anybody? We would’ve come to help! We could have put that piece of shit in jail by now!” He stands up abruptly, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing deeply. 

“I-I’m sorry- I-” You stutter, your mind racing as he paces before you. His eyes meet yours, and he points at you as your heartbeat accelerates.

“Y/N, I swear to god- I’m gonna kill that motherfucker. He’s fucking dead. I don’t care what hap-” He stops momentarily, cut off by your sobs from the chair. Fuck. He’s yelling at a domestic violence victim- no- he’s yelling at you. What a fucking asshole. 

“HeyHeyHeyHey-” He’s quickly on his knees in front of you, shushing and brushing your hair out of your face, “I’m so fucking sorry- that was so selfish of me to do. I shouldn’t have said or done any of that. You opened up to me, and I yelled at you.. that will never happen again, okay? Why don’t we get you to bed?” He held your hands in his, searching your red eyes for an answer as you quickly nodded. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go say goodnight to everyone, you just hold tight here. Sound good?” You nodded once again, and he giggled. “Words, sweetheart. I need you to say something.”

“That’s what I want, Ani. Bed.” You mumble out, forming your lips into a sad smile. His heart broke at the sight of you. 

The second the back gate opened back up, Ben and Ahsoka immediately shot out of their chairs at the sight of Anakin. Their interrupted conversation suddenly had no meaning as he entered, taking a quick seat next to them.

“She’s- uh- she’s pretty upset. And fucked up. I’m gonna take her to bed.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair as Ben and Ahsoka looked at him, puzzled. 

“Well, what happened? Is she okay? Does she need help?” Ahsoka frantically broke the silence, asking the questions she and Ben were both thinking. 

“Listen, she’s in rough shape right now. I’m just gonna get her to sleep, and I’ll tell you guys all about it. I don’t even know if she’s done talking about it. I’ll be right back.” 

“Y/N?” He calls out your name as he steps on the other side of the gate, jogging up the front porch to see you passed out in the chair, joint hanging loosely from your fingers. 

Amused, he grabs the roach from your fingers and casually tosses it off the porch, letting out a small laugh. Clearly, you didn't waste any time before drifting off to sleep. All the crying and weed must have done something. As he crouches down beside you, he tenderly brushes your hair, his eyes filled with adoration as he looks at your sleeping figure. 

“I’m so sorry about everything,” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, sighing softly, “I know you’re going to hate me for what I’m gonna do. Just please know it’s in your best interest. I care about you so much.” He bites his lip in thought, his eyes searching your figure.

As he rises to his feet, he effortlessly swipes your phone and tucks it away, his eyes briefly glancing at your water bottle. With a tender gesture, he reaches his arms beneath you, drawing you close to his chest and ensuring the blanket envelops you snugly as he lifts you from the chair. Your head is cradled against his chest, his hand wrapped around your waist and under your knees. 

Anakin carried you gently up the stairs of your house, each step creaking under the weight of his feet. Passing through the familiar corridors, he reached your bedroom door and pushed it open, immediately being overwhelmed by the alluring scent of your space. As he laid you down on your bed, he couldn't help but notice how little the room had changed since you left, the same photos on the walls and the same worn-out rug. Your mom kept everything intact, probably hoping you’d come back eventually. He filled your water bottle, plugged your phone in, left some medicine on your nightstand, and tucked you in tightly. Just as he turned on the fan and kissed your forehead goodnight, your eyes fluttered open to meet with his, and you gave him a sleepy smile. 

“Ani?” You mumbled, watching as his smile grew above you. 

“Hey, sweetheart, feeling pretty sleepy, huh?” 

“Mhm,” You stretched your arms out momentarily as you yawned. “I’m sorry I dropped all of that on you earlier. And I’m just- I’m sorry about it all. I feel so-”

“Y/N,” He gets on his knees next to you, the warmth in his eyes matching the tender smile on his lips, “You don’t need to apologize for a thing. I’m always here. And so are Ben and Ahsoka. We got you. You take as much time as you need to process, recover, and do whatever you need to, okay? It’s about you, Y/N/N, don’t worry about us.” You giggle and nod at his words, your eyes attempting to flutter shut. He laughs at your exhaustion, ruffling up the hair on your head. “Sleep well, okay? I’ll be here if you need me.” 

He closes your door and leans against the door frame, exhaling heavily as he tries to make sense of everything that happened throughout the night. How could someone be so fucking despicable to do this to you? His girl. His fists clenched tightly at his waist, his eyes burning with rage as he vividly imagined the torment you endured. He tried not to let his mind go there. He really did. Resting against your bedroom door, vivid visions of you, covered in blood and pleading for help, overwhelmed him, plunging him into a downward spiral. And in a moment of weakness, he did exactly what he promised he wouldn’t do.

“She was abused. Badly.”

“WHAT?”

Ben and Ahsoka jump from their seats on the porch, rushing towards Anakin as he angrily makes his way from the house onto the deck. 

“That fucking piece of shit!” Ben shouts, punching his fist against the side of the house while Ahsoka tries to calm Anakin down, asking him for more details.

“Okay, Anakin, I need you to give me more than just ‘abused.’ I know you have details.” Ahsoka sputtered while she held the sides of his arms, guiding him over to the table to sit down while Ben paced behind them. 

“It was that asshole she was dating for the past two years- Nick. The one we conveniently never met, which I’m sure was on purpose. She didn’t tell me much other than that if she didn’t leave when she did, she could’ve- well- she- it just wouldn’t have ended well.”

Anakin's words hung in the air, creating a thick silence that was almost tangible with tension. Anakin's throat tightened as he locked eyes with Ben and Ahsoka, their glossy gazes reflecting their shared pain. Ben found a spot at the table, deep in thought, as he absentmindedly stroked his chin, his eyes devoid of any emotion. Ahsoka carefully finished the last of her wine, the cling! of it ringing out as the glass met the table one last time.  

“Well-” Ben tried to start, cut off by his sudden sobs. He pushed his head on the table, covering his face from Ahsoka and Anakin as he attempted to take deep breaths, processing the information he had just learned. In an effort to hold back tears, Anakin bit his lip, his hand trembling as he rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. As she silently wept, Ahsoka soothingly rubbed Ben's back, hoping to ease his pain.

“I just- I should have known.” She mumbled, picking the cat's hair off of the back of Ben’s sweater. 

“There’s no way you could’ve, Snips.” 

“It’s just that- I thought it was odd when she suddenly asked me to pick up her cat. Saying she couldn’t take care of him and that it was an emergency. I never even met Nick, and she wouldn’t let me stay at the apartment long. I hardly saw her. So many fucking red flags..” she trailed off, feeling her head hurt at the thought. 

“Ahsoka, it’s okay.” Ben sniffled, lifting his head off the table as his red eyes met Anakin’s. “There is no one at fault here other than Nick.”

"Exactly," Anakin paused momentarily at his comment, his eyes widening. “Guys, she made me promise I wouldn’t tell you. Considering everything, I think we should wait until she opens up. Even though it hurts, the last thing I’d want to do is hurt her anymore.”

“Yeah,” Ben whispers, and Ahsoka nods, holding onto each other as they try to calm down.  

“We should get to bed, guys. It’s 3:30.” Anakin mumbles as he stands up and stretches, offering his hand to Ahsoka. “We’ll see you soon, Ben. Get some rest.”

As he lay in bed, Anakin’s mind wandered off to you. How could it not? Besides being your best friend, he always looked for more in you. The knowledge weighed heavily on him, and he despised himself because of it. To him, you were his world, his everything. Always. And hearing/seeing how hurt you were? It fucking destroyed him. So, he let himself cry. He allowed himself to feel those emotions for you, and he always had buried them deep down. Instead, he buried his face in his pillow and soaked it with his tears. His admiration for you would never falter, and neither would his protectiveness. He felt as if a part of him failed, and as a result, his guard was down. He felt the desire to love you and keep you safe increased, knowing that getting the chance to do so may destroy him inside and out.

And it didn’t help that you lost your virginities to each other. Sharing such a unique, intimate moment with the person he always knew was the one, well, that just really fucked things. Literally. There wasn't a moment when he wasn't haunted by the memories of that night; it was a constant presence in his mind. And then he got with Padme, and you left for Virginia, and things got so lost and confused, and life moved on. You moved on. He tried to. But he searched for you in everyone and everything. Padme knew it, he knew it, fuck, his mother probably knew it! He’s just thankful Ben doesn’t know it. As much as he hated to say it, Anakin knew he would have gone back in time to do anything to change that moment. Because now you’re here, and his feelings have only intensified. Feelings that should have left a long, long time ago. And yet, as he cried himself to sleep, he continued to dream of you, just like every night before.

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Series tags: @w0rsh1psells @ursogorgeous13 @tommyvelvet @mistress-amidala @queenofnigthdarkness @nikkissecretlibrary @doblasftcisco @ann4zw @catachlysmicjedi @googie-jeon @xoxo-hayden-fangurl-xoxo @anakinstwinklebunny

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 14]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

Words: 3.8k

ao3 link

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

A loud, angry voice wakes Minnie from her sleep.

It takes her a few moments to process the change, but once she does, she focuses on finding the source of the bad noise. It's coming from below her, a few floors down. She can't understand the words - Mommy says people speak lots of different languages so this must be one of them - but she knows it is Mister Chavez. He's a nice man who helps Mommy with the trash, sometimes. Minnie likes him.

She lets her ears open up more and quickly finds out why he is so grumpy - he is watching television. She recognizes the sounds as some sort of sport. Mommy says sometimes people yell at their television when watching sports because they love their team and get excited - but they aren't really angry. That makes her feel better - she doesn't like it when people are angry. It's scary.

But he is still being loud, and even though she knows he's not really mad, she doesn't want to hear him. Minnie wants to listen to good noises when she sleeps.

Her favorite noise to sleep to is her Mommy's heart and it can make all the bad noises go away and right now, she wants to be extra close so it's really loud.

So, Minnie reaches up and pulls her sleep headband down so it's around her neck and rolls out of bed.

Mommy went to sleep the same time she did, which is weird because Mommy also took a nap with her after they came back from the park. Mommy doesn't take naps - she's an Adult, but all day she's been sleepy. She doesn't understand why - they didn't do anything Big, like go somewhere special or do lots of things.

Minnie crosses the short distance between her bed and her Mommy's and quickly climbs up the bigger one. Mommy is on her back and under her covers, still asleep. The loud noises don't bother her because she can't hear them like Minnie and Daddy can. That makes Minnie happy - Mommy needs lots of sleep.

But she's hogging all the blankets and Minnie wants to get under them, too, so she shakes her shoulder, “Mommy, share the blankie.”

Nothing happens.

Minnie pouts and shakes her again, just a little harder, “Mommy, I'm cold, too.”

Mommy makes an upset noise in her throat, but she doesn't wake up or give up any of the blanket. Minnie frowns and looks back to her bed - she could get her blanket if Mommy doesn't want to share, but she likes Mommy’s blanket more. It smells like her.

Maybe she can crawl in from the bottom, near Mommy's feet.

As she considers this option, something new catches her attention.

Something smells stinky.

It doesn't smell stinky like the train or the monster her Daddy chased away a few nights ago - she doesn't know this smell, but she quickly decides she doesn't like it. It smells like wet and dirty and it's really close. It is inside the bedroom. She turns to start looking around, trying to find where it is coming from. Nothing in the room looks different and she knows things don't just get stinky. Something has to happen to make it stinky. She closes her eyes and opens her mouth a little like Daddy taught her, and breaths in through her nose. The smell is stronger behind her, so she tries to follow it, crawling closer.

She runs right into Mommy.

The bad smell is coming from her.

Minnie doesn't understand. Mommy never smells bad, ever, and she didn't smell bad before they went to sleep. Why does Mommy smell bad now?

She tries to wake her up again, shaking her shoulder hard, but Mommy just scrunches up her face. She doesn't wake up.

Minnie is starting to get scared.

“Mommy, wake up!” She tries tugging the blanket next, but it is wrapped tight. Her next idea is to start patting her face and that is when Minnie gets her next clue.

Mommy's skin is really warm, like she's been in the sun, and she's sweaty. Did Mommy go outside when Minnie was sleeping?

But that doesn't make sense, the sun isn't up. It's night time and Mommy wouldn't leave her alone during the night. Mommy never leaves her alone - she always has a babysitter.

Why would Mommy be hot and sweaty and stinky and not wake up?

She sticks her fingers in her mouth and starts to suck on them as she thinks hard - like she's trying to figure out a puzzle.

Minnie gasps when she realizes it - Mommy is sick!

Mommy has never been sick before, not that Minnie can remember, and if she's sick, she needs a doctor. Minnie knows how to be a doctor!

No longer as scared now that she knows what is wrong, Minnie slides off the bed and hurries to her toy chest. She has a whole doctor kit full of all sorts of things - it even has a doctor's coat and glasses. She takes the big bag out and sets it on the ground so she can pull out the costume and put it on. She has to push up the sleeves because they are too long, but it doesn't matter.

Now she's Doctor Minnie and can help her Mommy.

She hikes the bag up on her shoulder and brings it back to the bed. It takes her a few tries to get it up beside her Mommy - the bed is high up and the bag is heavy - but once it is, she climbs up too and starts looking through her supplies.

She pulls out the step-scope first and puts the plugs into her ears. She doesn't need it to listen to Mommy's heart, but doctor's do, so she's going to use it. She puts the end-circle on Mommy's chest and listens Hard. Her heart doesn't sound any different than normal. It is a little faster, like she's been walking around a lot, but that isn't weird. Minnie is used to that sound - so it's not why Mommy is sick. She puts her step-scope back into her bag and takes out the next tool.

She knows the little hammer is supposed to be used to hit her Mommy's knees, but they are under the covers, so she isn't sure if it will work. She tries anyway. She bonks where she thinks her knees are and absolutely nothing happens. She isn't surprised - Mommy's head smells stinky, not her legs. That is not why she is sick.

Her next toy is the therm-o-meter. She puts it against her Mommy's forehead and presses the button. The toy lights up, the screen flashing red a few times before becoming solid. She brings it closer to her face to examine. She doesn't know what the numbers mean, but she guesses it says her Mommy is sick.

She turns off that toy then starts digging in the bag again, looking at what she has to help. She finds the band-aids first, which won't help at all. That is for boo-boos and Mommy doesn't have one of those. She finds what she needs at the bottom of the bag and removes it carefully. She doesn't know what it is called but it gives shots - and shots help people not be sick. Mommy told her that - that's why she has to go get them from the doctor.

Shots go in the arm, so Minnie needs to move the blanket out of the way. Mommy wrapped herself up tight, so it is hard, but she manages to pull it enough so her shoulder is out. That is part of the arm, so it counts. She doesn't want to mess up, so Minnie takes her time picking up the shot-giver and pulling back the pusher. She places it in the middle of Mommy's arm, as low as she can get it, then pushes the pusher back down slowly. Once it's all the way down, she sets the toy aside. She remembers that shots do get a band aid, so she takes one out of the box and opens it. It's pink, to match the rest of the set, and it goes over where Minnie gave her Mommy the shot.

To make sure it works extra well, Minnie adds a kiss, then sits back to wait.

She starts sucking on her fingers again, not to help her think, but because it helps her not be scared - and she's scared her Mommy isn't going to wake up. She doesn't know how long she is supposed to wait for medicine to work - when she plays Doctor with her toys it is always right away. But Mommy isn't a toy. She sits and waits for what feels like at least thirty-two minutes before she tries shaking her Mommy again, “Wake up. Mommy, wake up, please. You gotta wake up.”

She doesn't wake up. She doesn't stop being stinky. She stays asleep and sick.

Minnie doesn't like this. She wants her Mommy to wake up and hug her and tell her it is okay. She doesn't understand why she won't wake up.

Minnie gave her a shot - that should have made her better, right?

Does she need to go to the real doctor? She can't go to the real doctor if she is asleep and Minnie doesn't know how to call the doctor to tell him to come.

Minnie sniffles, trying to hold back from crying. She has to be a big girl, she can't be a baby - being a baby won't help Mommy. She wipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her doctor's coat and tries her bestest to think.

What did Mommy say in their last Big Girl Talk?

They talked about what it means to have a Daddy now. Mommy had told her that meant he was like Mommy, but a boy, and anything that Minnie went to her for, she could also talk to Daddy about.

Maybe Daddy can help Mommy, like he helped with the Monster.

But Daddy isn't here. He doesn't live with them.

But maybe he can hear her? He has really good hearing like Minnie does.

With a new plan in mind, Minnie climbs off the bed and leaves the bedroom. The fan and a/c make lots of noise and he might not hear her over them. The living room is quiet, though, and she gets up onto the couch before looking straight up at the ceiling. Daddy was up there last time.

“Daddy?” She asks, “Daddy, are you there?”

She waits, but there is no answer. Maybe she needs to be louder? So, she tries again, speaking in her Outside Voice.

“Daddy, it's Minnie. Daddy? Can you hear me? I need you, please, thank you.”

The only response she gets is the city. It's not as loud as normal, there's not as many cars or people because it's night - people sleep at night. Maybe he is asleep and can't hear her? Or he is too far away and his hearing can't reach her.

If he is too far away to hear with his ears, she has to find another way for him to hear her. Mommy talks to him on her phone when he is far away, so she has to try that next.

Mommy keeps her phone next to her bed, so Minnie goes back into the bedroom. She's not supposed to play with the phone, but this isn't playing - this is an Emergency. She's allowed to use it for emergencies - even though she never has before. She knows how to unlock it - the numbers are her birthday - and the screen lights up. She looks from the bright phone back to her Mommy sleeping on the bed. It's rude to talk on the phone when someone is sleeping, so back out to the living room and the couch she goes.

She settles into the cushions then stares at the phone. She knows how to bring up YouTube but not how to call someone, but she can talk to the phone and tell it what to do. She's done that before and Mommy does it all the time. She just has to say the magic words.

“Hey, Siri, call Daddy, please, thank you.”

The phone lights up as it thinks, then the robot-lady in the phone says, “Uh-oh, I do not have a phone number for Daddy.”

Minnie pouts at the phone - she knows that isn't true. Mommy calls Daddy all the time. Then it occurs to her Mommy doesn't call him Daddy. She has to use his grown up name. She tries again, “Siri, please call Mister Matt, please, thank you.”

“Calling Matt Murdock,” the robot-lady says and a moment later, ringing starts coming through the phone. Minnie quickly holds it up to her ear and waits for him to answer.

He doesn't answer. It just rings and rings until another robot-lady starts talking instead, but Minnie doesn't want to talk to her, so she presses the big red button to end the call.

She doesn't know why he didn't answer. His hearing is extra good, so if he was sleeping, he should have heard it - like Minnie heard Mister Chavez. She tries to think of why he wouldn't answer and decides he must not have his phone - Mommy does that sometimes. She forgets her phone places, like she'll leave it in the bathroom.

Maybe he left his phone in the bathroom.

She makes another attempt, telling the phone again to call her Daddy but nothing changes. Only the robot-lady talks to her.

Minnie glares at the phone as she tries to figure out what to do. Mommy needs a doctor and Daddy isn't answering.

Her conclusion is she needs another Adult. She doesn't know many Adults. She knows Miss Apple, who runs Daycare, and Miss Linda, but Minnie doesn't think she is supposed to call them. Mommy never talks to them on the phone, even if they are Adults.

Daddy's friends are Adults, though, and she heard Miss Karen and Froggy tell Mommy to call if she ever needs anything, so maybe it is okay to call them? Minnie hopes so.

Froggy is Daddy’s bestest friend, so that is who she decides to call. If he doesn't answer, she will call Miss Karen. She wipes at her face again, clearing away any tears, then asks the robot-lady, “Hey Siri, call Froggy, please, thank you.”

The phone starts to ring and, to her great delight and relief, is answered after only a few moments. It sounds like he almost drops it before she can hear him breathing directly into her ear.

“‘lo?” A very tired sounding Froggy asks.

“Froggy!” She tries her best to not yell, but she is so happy he answered the phone and now she can help Mommy. Part of her wants to cry because she is happy, but she still needs to be a Big Girl.

She can hear lots of movement on the other end of the call before he answers her, “Minnie, is that you?” He sounds very Worried.

“Yes,” is her response, because it is her. She knows she is supposed to wait for more questions, but she can't help herself. She does her best to not rush out her words.“I need help, please, thank you. Mommy is sick and she won't wake up and she needs to go to the doctor.”

Froggy says a Bad Word, then, “where are you, Minnie?”

“I'm on the couch. It's rude to talk on the phone when someone is sleeping,” she explains, then adds, “Mommy is in bed.”

“Okay. Okay. Did you try to call your Daddy?” He asks. She can hear him moving around a lot more now and that makes her happy. He's going to come help her and she doesn't need to be scared. Froggy is an Adult and can take Mommy to the doctor and she can get better.

“He didn't answer. I tried two times and he's not outside. I can't hears him outside,” she tells him. Froggy knows she and Daddy can hear everything, so that is important to let him know that.

“Of course, he didn't answer,” Froggy says, then he says another Bad Word in a grumpy voice, before his voice gets Nice again, “Okay, sweetie, can you listen to me?”

“I'm listening!” She can listen really good and follow directions. She's a Big Girl.

“I'm going to call your Daddy. He has a…different phone he uses at night. I'm going to call that phone and tell him he needs to come over, okay? And I'm going to come over, too,” he explains.

“A different phone…?” She doesn't understand why he would have more than one but maybe it is an Adult thing.

“Yeah, sweetie, a different phone. But to call it, I need to not be on the phone with you. Is that okay?” Froggy asks.

“You're both gonna come?”

“We're both gonna come,” he promises, “I'll keep calling him until he answers, and we're gonna come over and take care of you and your Mommy. Okay?”

Minnie starts to suck on her finger as she thinks over what he said. She wants to stay on the phone with Froggy - she’s scared and she doesn't want to be alone while her Mommy is sick, but he needs to call her Daddy. Mommy needs Daddy more than Minnie needs Froggy. Part of being a Big Girl is being brave when things are scary and she needs to be brave for her Mommy. She drops her hand to her lap and mumbles, “Okay.”

“Okay, Minnie,” Froggy says, then he gets a nice voice again and she can tell he is smiling, “You did a really good job calling me. I'm proud of you.”

The words make her smile, too, and she tells him, “I'm being a Big Girl.”

“Yes, you are,” he agrees, “You are being such a big girl right now. Your Mommy and Daddy are going to be proud, too. Now, I'm going to hang up and call your Daddy. He might get there before me, but I'm on my way, too. If anything happens, you can call me back, and I'll answer. Understand?”

“I understand,” she says, because she does. Froggy will answer his phone if Minnie calls him. Even if it is night time and everyone else is sleeping.

“Okay, good girl. I'm hanging up now, okay?”

“Okay. Bye-bye,” she says because that is how Mommy says to end a call. She lowers the phone from her face and hits the big red button.

She decides to keep the phone with her and slides off the couch, putting it into her doctor's coat pocket.

Now that she has called an Adult to help, Minnie doesn't know what she's supposed to do, but she does know she wants something to hug to make her feel better. She goes back to the bedroom and grabs Pig and Scooby off her bed before squeezing them tightly to her. They are soft and smell like Mommy and Daddy and make things less scary. Everything will be okay if she has them.

She looks over to where Mommy is sleeping and frowns. She hasn't moved at all since Minnie went to try to call Daddy. Minnie sucks on her lip since her hands are busy holding her toys and tries to figure out what to do next, but all she can think about is how sad Mommy looks in bed.

Does Mommy know she's sick and that's why she won't wake up? Is she scared like Minnie is?

Minnie doesn't want her to be scared.

She rocks side to side for a moment as she thinks over how to make her Mommy not be scared, then slowly makes her way to the bed. She sets Pig down in the ground then, with Scooby Doo in her arms, crawls up to be next to her Mommy. With great care, she places him next to the pillow, then leans in to whisper, “Scooby, you need to watch over, Mommy, okay? I gotta go wait for Daddy and Froggy.”

She pats Scooby on his big head before slowly bending over to give her Mommy a kiss on the cheek, “Don't be scared, Mommy, Scooby knows a lot about being brave when you're scared…and he'll keep you safe, okay?”

Mommy doesn't respond.

Her doctor glasses fall off as she slides back to the floor and she knows she should pick them up, but she doesn't. Instead, she picks up Pig and goes back out to the living room. She opens up her ears again as she does - Mister Chavez is still watching his sports but the rest of the building is quiet. Everyone else is sleeping, even the doggies and kitties.

She tries to listen for Daddy and Froggy as she sits down in front of the television. She closes her eyes and remembers what Daddy said about looking for things. She has to Turn Off the sounds she doesn't want, like turning off the television. She squeezes Pig tight to her and tries really really hard.

Daddy isn't an animal, so she can turn off the doggies barking and the rats getting their dinners. There are no birdies or alleycats around to send away.

“Bye-bye,” she mumbles and closes her ears to them. Her little section of the world slowly gets quieter until she's pretty sure there are no more animals left to distract her.

Next is city noises.

There aren't many cars out on her block - just a taxi man listening to music. He's not Daddy, so she says goodbye to him, too, before he goes away. His car disappears around with him, since there is no one else in there with the taxi man.

Her head is really starting to hurt from all the loud noises she hasn't turned off yet. It's making her dizzy because it's coming from all over and it's hard to understand what it all is. Everything is starting to just become one big scream and she can't tell what is what.

“MINNIE!”

She hears her Daddy’s voice through all the other noises loud and clear and she can't be a Big Girl anymore.

She bursts into tears and begins crying loudly.

She doesn't want to be brave anymore. She's scared. She wants her Mommy to wake up and not be sick. She wants to get into bed and cuddle and watch cartoons on the StarkPad.

She wants her Mommy.

She wants her Daddy.

She turns off her ears and sobs and sobs until two strong arms wrap around her and she is crushed into her Daddy's chest. She clings to him, burying her face into his neck and lets him overwhelm her senses until she can't cry anymore.

Little Doctor Minnie passes out from sheer exhaustion, cradled in the arms of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

-----

a/n: everyone tell Doctor Minnie how proud of her you are

---

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

 @petrovafire39 @allllium

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

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@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare 

@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars

@

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 

@two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13

 @lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos

[the-french-belphegor]

Finished! Oh man, this took me... two months? Three? So long. But the idea wouldn’t let go, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As I mentioned before I watched bits and pieces of the 1st campaign of Critical Role before going back to the beginning and watching/listening to seriously (I’m now starting episode 74!), but one thing that struck me was the character growth for all these characters?? So good. And these two... oh, these two. I started thinking I wanted them together any way, romantic or platonic (about... 6% of my ships are romantic?), but as time goes by I just love this ship, where it started and where it ends up in the epilogue. Plus... y’now, a couple of slightly bruised souls finding solace in each other 💜

I remember a fic that covers part of Scanlan’s year and a half away in which he gets... self-conscious? (understatement) about his death scars, if only because, well. They have to take up a lot of space on his body, considering what happens to him in “The Deceiver’s Stand”. (I have this headcanon that the scars from wounds that cause death don’t really fade like other scars do. So what these two have gone through left a hell of a mark. Physically, too. Pike knows a lot about scars, the forms they can take, and the weight they can have. And I wanted to explore her side of things from her own passing through death and resurrection.)

Another headcanon I have is that, once the dust has settled and they have to consider mundane things like immediate lodgings and stuff, Scanlan is the only one who doesn’t have anywhere to go back to: Vex and Percy have Whitestone, Keyleth has Zephrah, Pike and Grog have Wilhand’s house in Westruun... which has an attic that could double as a guest room with many a few repairs. It probably looks way too cosy and tidy for what I thought I’d do, but chalk it up to my inability to really clutter a room (unlike irl) 😅 The little frame behind Scanlan isn’t a random castle, by the way, it’s supposed to be Greyskull Keep. Wonder what happened to the place after the end...

Anyway. It’s 11:30PM and I should be in bed, so I’m posting this and hope you like!

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes (Part 11)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 4495

A/N: Yes I did drop off the face of the earth for a bit but can I make it up to you with an extra long chapter?

 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 11, Next Chapter

Your fight was the last time you saw Remus Lupin that week, the next lesson you had with Lupin was taken over by Snape, even your tutoring was now with McGonagall. Lupin returned on Friday evening, you saw him in the great hall during dinner, and that's when you received an owl from him which was rare during dinner. He didn't pay you any attention, so you decided to take the letter to the lake and read it by yourself so no one could interrupt you and he couldn't watch or analyse you open it. You sat down by the water and opened it.

"My dearest, Y/N,

Oh how I've fucked up, in life constantly but with you in more ways than one. I don't know how to express my words in person I've never been good at words when it came to the important things like people. This is version five of this letter.

I traveled home after Monday. I couldn't bare to look at that desk, I couldn't go to Sirius as his home will forever smell like the first time I kissed you. When I arrived I found your letters, they made me realise you left to protect us from ending up in this very situation, I thought it was from fear of getting told off for being home late but really you knew that Percy was looking for clues. Unfortunately his letter found me first and convinced me to push you away, that I was risking too much by risking your schooling, I don't care about my career, what's life if you only live for a job but I don't want to mess up your future. I take my job very seriously but life is  more important.

You were right when you said I'm scared of having something good, however you were wrong when you said you were convenient. You're far from it. I might be lonely but that's not why I'm drawn to you, I'm drawn to your wit, I'm drawn to your smile and I'm drawn to your world. If we could spend forever sitting on my sofa listening to music and talking I would die a happy man.

I don't know what my feelings for you are but they are strong and they scare me, you're much more important to me than anyone else I know and I fear to admit it. New Year's Eve I messed up, if we were ever going to kiss I wanted it to be after a date where I show you how you're meant to be loved and offer you the world not drunk on the steps of my best friends house.

I don't know how you feel about me and if I hurt you too much, if that's the case I am terribly sorry I wish I could make it right. If an inch of you still thinks I'm a decent man I have two offers for you.

A. If you want to remain friends and go back to last year's rules "no dear, no alcohol and no kissing" meet me tomorrow evening in my office for tea and tunes, or let me know in your own way

B: If you are up for an adventure my dear and willing to see what happens if we risk it and you still feel any attraction after my poor behaviour: Meet me tomorrow morning at 9am in Hogsmeade, next to the three broomsticks.

C: if you simply hate me like you said (at least 4 times using my full name I'm glad you don't know my middle name) all I ask is show up to my lessons, we can arrange another teacher to take over you 1-on-1 schooling but please show up. I promise to pretend I don't think you're the most amazing witch and woman I've ever met. Please don't let me ruin your exams or future.

Yours, Remus John Lupin.

P.S. To answer the question in your original letters from the 1st of January keep my sweater, it will simply be a painful memory if you choose C and I like the way it looks on you if you choose B ."

You felt a mixture of excitement and relief with his letter, it felt like everything has magically explained itself. Remus was an anxious writer with a tendency to sabotage his own happiness but he was trying. He was trying for you.

The next morning you woke up early to get ready to see Remus, you didn't know what to expect but you were excited. You arrived in Hogsmeade early knowing Remus as someone extremely punctual you were shocked to find Remus wasn't there. You waited until 9:05 but nothing, so you began to walk back at towards the castle. "Wait!" Remus said and you turned around to see him holding two cups of coffee, one of which had obviously slightly spilled on him. "It's with milk!" He said holding a coffee forward towards you.

"Thank you." You said grabbing it.

"I'm glad you came." He said softly.

"I'm glad you sent that letter." You replied. "You have coffee on your sweater." You pointed out reaching in your pocket for a tissue.

"I didn't think through apparating with two cups of coffee.' He admitted with a shy smile as you dabbed his jumper dry. "Thank you dear." He continued softly.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"Where?"

"London, grab my hand and hold your coffee tight." He said reaching out a hand and you took hold of it and you appeared in Holborn, London.

"I thought that wasn't possible in Hogwarts." You admitted.

"That's why we met in Hogsmeade dear, sorry about being late, there was a queue." He admitted showing you the coffee.

"I thought you may have changed your mind." You admitted.

"I was scared you wouldn't come." He admitted.

"Liar you got two cups of coffee." You pointed out.

"I had a feeling you'd show up, now dear, see today as my way of apologising to you. I have a small plan but if you want to do anything just tell me." He said and at that moment you turned the corner to the British Museum. "Have you been here before?" He asked.

"Maybe once or twice as a kid."

"Okay but have you ever had a magic tour of this place?" He questioned and you shook your head. "Great." Remus led you into the British museum, he looked quite excited and more young now than ever. "Now not everyone knows that many treasures in this building are actually artefacts from great magicians."

"So they stole from wizards too?" You asked and Remus laughed.

"They sure did, now not many people know how some of these great people used magic to help muggles and how some of this stuff is either cursed or enchanted." Remus continued as you walked through the beautiful foyer.

"But I'm sure you do." You said teasing him and he nodded.

"I'm not just a pretty face, unlike you I spent a lot of time in libraries."

"Are you saying I don't study? I spend a lot of time in my professors office."

"You spend a lot of time listening to music and distracting me while I try to mark work, dear." He shot back and you laughed. "Now as I was saying, I may not be a rich man or have much to offer but I have a lot of knowledge."

"You should be a teacher." You said with a wink.

"You should be a comedian. Now enough talking watch this." He said and then one of the Egyptian statues moved and stood up.

"Holy shit, are you allowed to do that?" You asked looking around.

"Don't worry no one will notice." He said

"What was that?" You asked.

"It's a Pharos tomb guard, they're enchanted to stand when an attacker approaches, they have a lot of ancient magic in here."

"So why didn't they do that when they were removed from the tomb?" You asked as you and Remus continued to walk and look at the different statues.

"They did, they did for a very long time, however when dark wizards realised there's money in helping archaeologists they helped lift curses or limit enchanted objects. Those guards were stopped from being the soldiers they were, the only thing left is the command to stand when you summon them." Remus explained, you were impressed by his knowledge. You walked through  the ancient Egyptian part for another few minutes before Remus took hold of your hand and hurried you to the Ancient Greek part. "This bits my favourite, sorry is it okay if I do that?" He asked gesturing to your hand.

"It's encouraged." You blushed.

"Tell me when I cross a line Y/N, we still need to talk about us but first I want to hold my part of the deal, showing you who I actually am."

"And who are you profesor?"

"A lonely bookworm with a furry problem and a teaching job to pay the bills."

"Don't forget the cottage." You winked making him laugh.

"Now these are the Parthenon marbles, the Parthenon was being used as a base to store ammunition by the Ottomans and some idiot messed up and blew up the whole thing."

"Some idiot is that the technical term profesor?" You poked him in the arm and he rolled his eyes. You found him very attractive when he was more casually dressed, with his jacket drooped over his arms and a warm sweater on.

"It is now." He replied. "Long story short some guy named Lord Elgin went to Greece and asked the Ottomans can I have this? And they said sure and he took it, as lords usually do. It's missing a lot of parts as they're back where they belong but a small part of me feels lucky to have them here as they tell a story. You see if you come over here you'll see the Centaur." He led you over to the far wall. "He tells a story of the battle between Centaurs and Lapiths at the marriage feast of Peirithoos. And if you do this even with it's missing parts you get to watch it." He lifted his wand and the marble moved. It began plaything the story throughout the panels as if they were alive just like the paintings in Hogwarts. "And if you think that is cool look behind you." You turned around and the main sculptures were all moving, they were missing parts but they felt human.

"That's incredible, show me more." You expressed with a big smile and Remus couldn't help but smile back. "Come on." He said putting one arm around you while his other arm still had his jacket drooped over it. And like that, he led you through the museum holding your waist and making your heart flutter at his actions and brain amazed at the world of knowledge he was sharing with you.

It was one of the few times you saw Remus truly happy as he immersed himself in history. It was beautiful to see him care free not putting himself down, not talking about his condition just being himself. As you walked out the museum hours later he still had a hand around your waist. "Now dear what would you like to do?"

"Should we go get some food?"

"What a wonderful idea, there's a great pub not too far from here, only thing I need to get some cash out as I'm low on muggle money." He explained.

"I can pay."

"I'm sure you can but you won't I'm taking you out on a date it's my treat." He said as he rushed in front of you to the cash machine. "Okay" he said looking at it. "Okay, okay." He continued looking for where to insert his card. "Just a moment." He said after inserting it and just starring at all the options on the screen. "Merlin." He whispered quietly while pressing random buttons.

"You do know how to use it?" You asked suggestively.

"Of course I do." He said but he was obviously struggling.

"Here let me help you." You stood alongside him pressing the buttons for him. "How much do you want to withdraw?"

"£20?" He said hesitantly.

"£20?" You confirmed.

"£50."

"£50 are you sure?" You asked in disbelief.

"I'm not good with this, I haven't been in a muggle pub in forever I don't know the prices these days. I'm sorry, get however much you think it'll cost for us to have food. This is so embarrassing." He admitted.

"£50 it is, Remus the muggle world is my world it's okay to ask for help, I literally didn't know you could aparate in Hogsmeade." You calmed him while you finished the transaction.

"Yeah that was silly, everyone knows-"

"You don't know how to use a cash machine Remus!" You interrupted.

"I'll shut up. Now off to the pub, thank you for your help." He took your hand and lead the way. The pub was quite busy but you expected it as it was lunchtime on a Saturday. It was nice to sit opposite Remus having a meal, flirting, chatting and being yourselves. You didn't feel anxious like you did sometimes on dates, you felt like you were hanging out with a friend that you had a crush on, he would make you blush a lot with his words but he was also clumsy and stumbled a lot, something you never saw in him at Hogwarts. He ordered fish and chips and knocked over the sauces with his hand, when he went to pick them up, he hit his head on the edge of the table, you found it all cute and amusing but he was obviously embarrassed. "Am I making you slowly think I'm an idiot?" He asked after the incident and you simply replied with. "Only a little bit, makes you less intimidating."

"Am I intimidating?" He asked.

"Not at all." You said and he shook his head while laughing. After you ate you decided to take a walk along the river at first you began to talk about meaningless stuff like how you missed the Christmas lights or how Remus enjoyed the fact you can find oyster shells and old pipes on the rivers edge from the Victorian era. However the conversation changed when Remus asked. "What do you see us as?"

"I don't know." You admitted a bit of anxiety started to grow inside you.

"I don't know either, but I think we need to set some ground rules."

"What do you suggest?"

"Defining what's okay, like for example I think if either of us is developing strong feelings like love for the other we should cut it off as we don't want to hurt each other and with our current position we can't be in a relationship and be student and teacher." He said his eyes moving all over the place but avoiding you and he used his hands to emphasise what he was saying.

"How come?"

"Well for starters we can't do this all the time, if I was in love I would like to offer that person all my love, I would like to take them on dates, I would like to walk around and hold their hand, I would like to bring them to see my friends and so on... we can't do that, it will hurt to love someone but not be able to live in public, I don't want to risk the pain for either of us." He explained and you nodded.

"So what can we do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to continue to relax in your office with you." You began and he nodded. "I want to be able to kiss you, I want to be myself with you, I want to smoke on the bridge with you and when no one is watching I want to be held by you."

"And we can do that we can just not love each other, and give each other a relationship that's the line."

"So we can see other people?" You questioned him and he looked puzzled.

"I would prefer not, I can't stop you but I may not feel comfortable with sleeping with you if you're kissing other men." He admitted.

"I'd prefer if you weren't kissing anyone else either... Can we do this sometimes?"

"Of course dear, however not as much as either of us would like to, maybe once a month or every so often not to raise suspicions."

"But I can come see you in your office every night?"

"My door is always open for you dear."

"Can I sleep in your office?"

"Where on the desk?" He remarked in a snarky way.

"Is that where you want to fuck me?" You matched his energy y.

"Well it's not for sleeping." He winked and the grabbed your hand."Enough serious conversations, let's just live a little before we have to worry about rules. Today, exists in a world of its own, what do you want to do?" He asked with a cheery tone.

"I mean checking out that desk sounds fun but maybe before that we should enjoy London."

"I'm already enjoying it right here." Remus said stopping and pulling you in closer, putting his arms around your waist. "I think I like London." He said looking at your lips.

"Oh really." You stood on your toes to get closer to him and he leaned down and kissed you lightly.

"Alright let's go I have an idea." He said once again grabbing your hand and leading the way. You walked into a small cosy record shop. You both started looking through the shelves showing each other records you thought the other would life and either replying with a "yes" or "not my style" once the yes like became tall enough you walked over to the record played and started listening to them, there was only one pair of headphones so you had to share, bringing in your heads close as you listened to the music. "Oh listen to that trumpet." You said listening to a Chet Baker vinyl. "Do you like it?"  Remus asked and you nodded. "This is one of my favourite songs, the earnest vocals, I fall in love too terribly fast, for it to ever last..." you began to sing along to the song and Remus smiled warmly at you, he couldn't help but kiss you on the cheek. "Let's buy it." He said.

"What Remus it's quite expensive?"

"That doesn't matter today dear." He said putting it back in the vinyl sleeve and taking it to the till. "Besides there's nothing more I want to do than lay in bed with you and listen to this here vinyl." He said while paying for the vinyl, he thanked the cashier a grumpy old man who didn't seem to care about your conversation. You continued to walk through London for a bit longer but it started to get colder and you both decided it was time to head home. "Okay, we need to aparate back separately as it may be busy with people at this time." He began. "You'll go first and I'll follow, I don't want to leave you alone back here, I'm sure you'll be okay but I don't want the stress." You nodded in reply. "Okay dear, once you are back it would be a good idea for you to go to your dorm or walk around somewhere far from my office, and in about thirty minutes from now come to my office and we can continue this evening." You nodded in reply and that's when he gave you a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll see you soon my dear." He said and you left. As you walked back to Hogwarts all the emotions rushed in, the excitement, the love you felt but shouldn't, the confusion from the conversation about not falling in love. You felt very overwhelmed but you also felt so many positive emotions that you couldn't wait to go visit Remus in his office. It was weird not being able to travel back with him after you were able to spent so long acting like a couple but it made sense you just wished it could be different. You walked back to your dorm room where Percy was sitting on the chair. "Hi Y/N." He said as he saw you coming in, you didn't reply. "Still giving me the silent treatment? You know I haven't done anything wrong all I wanted to do is spend time with my friend." He continued as you walked away.

"Our dear brother causing you trouble?" Fred asked as you walked past him.

"I'm going to hex him." You replied as your turned to the girls chambers.

"Be our guest." George said before you went into your chambers. It was good that Percy saw you, helps avoid his suspicions. You waited the thirty minutes before heading straight to Lupins office, just in case you checked if Percy followed you but he didn't so you were in the clear to go meet Remus. You walked through the corridors with a hint of excitement as you approached his office, you knocked on the door and Remus opened it almost immediately. "Hey you." He said with a smile letting you in and checking behind you if anyone was in the corridor, he closed the door and turned the lock before leading the way upstairs to his office where he also locked the door after you came in. "Hungry?" He asked as you sat down on the sofa.

"More peckish."

"Perfect, I have some cheeses here and some bread."

"How fancy." You pointed out looking at the small charcuterie board he prepared.

"Only the best for you." He said as he sat down beside you, a record he already had playing way playing in the background as you both sat their indulging into the different flavours. "Thank you for joining me today." Remus suddenly changed the subject.

"Thank you for showing me everything, and for the food and the vinyls, everything." You said a bit overwhelmed by his generosity.

"Come here." He gestured for you to come in closer, you lay on the sofa with your head on his crotch and he stroked your head lovingly, slowly playing with you hair. "I love how soft you hair is." He pointed out as he continued to stoke your hair. A few minutes later the vinyl playing finished and Remus gestured for you to sit up so he could change the music. "How about we try this one out dear." He said pulling out the new Chet Baker vinyl and your heart warmed. "Anything to drink? I've got a nice bottle of wine I've been thinking about opening."

"That sounds great."

"The music or the wine?" He clarified.

"Both."

"White or red dear?" He asked while opening a cabinet.

"What do you prefer? Maybe red?"

"Red it is." He pulled the bottle out and began to open it placing two glasses on the table in front of you and filling them up. "To wonderful day." He said raising his glass as he sat down. You rested your head against his shoulder as you sat in comfortable silence.

"You know moony, I prefer this when we're allowed to cuddle on the sofa and kiss sometimes." You broke the silence.

"Me too dear." He bought his hand up to your cheek and pecked your lips slightly before going back to the resting position. "I craved this every time you sat here and I sat at my desk aching to kiss you." He admitted. This was peace, you were in your safe place.

"Are you aching to kiss me now?" You asked quietly.

"Always." He whispered into your ear placing his glass down on the small table in front of you and then taking yours to do the same for you. He leaned in to kiss you, as the kiss depended you ended up laying on the sofa. He was above you his lips and your lips colliding as you both struggled to catch a breath. You felt him getting hard as he slowly moved his body up and down over you, you reached up for his shirt unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders. "You're not wasting any time." He said between the kisses. His arms moved under your ass and he scooped you up in one movement so you were now straddling him, he pulled your shirt up and unclasped your bra as you began to grind on him making him harder and harder. He pulled away from your lips to suck on your nipples, the sensation made you moan in reply he grabbed your hair and pulled it down roughly making your head tilt back as he continued to worship your body. "Let's take this somewhere more comfortable." He said lifting you up and carrying you.

"You don't want to do it on your sofa?" You asked curiously.

"Oh I do, and my desk and every wall however today I will show you how you're meant to be loved not fucked." He said while pushing the door to his bedroom open and throwing you down on his bed. He unbuttoned your trousers and pulled them off along with your underwear, getting down on his knees and kissing your legs all the way up to your pussy. His hand reached up to your breasts where he started massaging them as his tongue flicked your clit making you moan. As he continued this movement with his tongue he moved his hand to slowly slip his fingers inside you pulling in and out while starting to alternate between sucking and licking. "Merlin you're either so wet or I'm drooling like a dog over how good you taste." He went straight back in and continued until you started begging for him as you felt yourself getting close. "Beg for me again." He growled as he moved to be just above you.

"Please." You barely whispered and he smashed his lips into yours, unbuckling his own trousers and taking them off while still keeping his lips on yours. You felt him thrust inside you leaving time for you to adjust, even though you remembered his size it shocked you how deep he filled you. "Are you okay dear?" He whispered checking in on you. "Mmhm." You confirm and he picked up the speed. He kissed you while going faster and started to slowly move his kisses down to your neck and breasts. You felt yourself get close as he ramped up the speed. "Cum for me dear, I want you to feel how good I make you feel." He said kissing his breath a bit. You couldn't hold it any longer and came which made him cum in you, you felt the warmth inside you as he slowed his pace and rested more of his body weight while moaning into your lips. He kissed you deeply once more before pulling out and laying down beside you. You were both panting as you lay there, Remus moved the covers and covered both of your bodies and kissed your forehead. "Good night dear." He whispered and you placed your head on his chest hugging him as his arm was around you. "Good night, Moony."

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

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[hulahoopsoupgroup]

new set of headcanons: all of the parent-coded genshin characters and their "children" going to the house of the hearth for a barbeque night

our lineup:

the parents: jean, zhongli, cyno, tighnari, nahida, neuvillette, wriothesley, xianyun, arlecchino

the children: Collei, Wanderer, Klee, Hu Tao, Melusines, Sigewinne, Ganyu, Shenhe, House of the hearth kids

1. sigewinne goes hunting with the hearth kids and they think shes all innocent and everything and they try to hunt a boar for her, and they turn away for 2 seconds to get their bows/guns ready, and when they turn back around, the boar is on the ground with a tranquilizer dart lodged in its jugular

2. wanderer decided to try to scare the kids and pretend to be a bear and make a bunch of noise. this did not work out in his favor, as sigewinne heard him, and next thing you know, you hear this big *thump* and wanderer is on the ground with a dart in his shoulder. nahida then had to keep him on a child leash to make sure he didnt act up anymore

3. hu tao also wanted to scare the kids, but she saw what happened to wanderer, so she decided to stay up in the trees. the kids seemed pretty confused hearing her jump from branch to branch like "are there ghosts in the forest? why are they singing lady gaga songs? are the ghosts gay?"

4. klee goes through her arsenal of bombs, planning to use them to set up a hunting trap, and some of the hearth kids are sitting around her, egging her on to choose the biggest bomb because they think explosions are cool, and jean hears the commotion and tells klee not to use the biggest bomb she has, or else she'll blow up the entire orphanage

5. xianyun is off somewhere tinkering with some new invention or some gadgets and some of the hearth kids are sitting around watching her. freminet joins and at first he sits and watches, but then he starts giving her advice to make the gadgets better, and they start working together on something

6. ganyu and shenhe are in the garden eating grass and flowers and tighnari comes out to get stuff for a side salad and asks them wtf theyre doing. they then help him decide what plants would taste best in a salad

7. speaking of tighnari, he tried to go out with the hearth kids and co. to forage for plants to put in some dishes, but he got too scared of their antics and went back inside to go make his side dishes in peace

8. zhonglis just kind of floating around monologuing about history and osmanthus wine, talking to whoever will listen. nahida drags wanderer (still on his child leash) to go listen to zhongli and he starts whining like "this is boring can we go home"

9. collei, lynette, and the melusines are hanging out in one room, and the melusines braid their hair while collei tells them all about being a trainee forest ranger

10. arlecchino put out refreshments in one of the main areas and a lot of the drinks are just water from different springs (because she knew neuvillette would be there) and neuvillette is chilling out but then arlecchino tries to talk about business. wriothesley then follows her and says "dude we're not here for work, chill out"

11. wriothesley and arlecchino are the ones that grill all the food. one year, the hearth kids got arle an apron that says "kiss the cook" and it came in a package of 3. she put one of them on and wrio was jokingly like "aw wheres my apron" and then she pulls out another one and this man is shocked

12. cyno is one of the people serving the food and he tells dad jokes to all the kids in line. he wont give them the food until they laugh. some people are in line for a while

[spinchip]

Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?

[ask meme]

YAAAY THANK YOUUU

7: Where did the title come from?

Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol

the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it

If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.

Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history

(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)

Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee

also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!

and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW

[uboat53]

Here we go, in no particular order, here are some of my thoughts on what we'll see in the next year or two based on the election results:

THE ECONOMY

Unless something pretty serious happens, it's very likely that Trump will make good on his promise of massive tariffs on all American imports. Given that we import a lot of stuff from the rest of the world (check any manufactured item in your house, I'll bet it doesn't say "made in America"), that means prices will likely increase substantially. The predictable result of that is probably a pullback of consumer spending and a recession. If we're really unlucky, we'll have inflation and a recession at the same time, the dreaded "stagflation".

More broadly, it's likely that the only thing Republicans will do economically in terms of legislation is pass a massive, deficit financed tax cut for the rich. Again. Honestly, this is an easy one to guess because it's what they do every time they have power. It's direct effect will probably be minimal (though any effect is likely to be inflationary) although it remains an open question how long the US can run up the credit card without any major economic consequences.

We're also likely to see a wave of deregulation. Expect the new administration to try to roll back all of the consumer protections that Biden has put in place, end the lawsuits against big corporations that are exploiting their market power, and generally tilt the playing field back in favor of big corporations and wealthy people.

Oh yes, and let's talk about the immigration thing here. Trump is promising to deport millions of illegal immigrants (by current estimates there are about 11 million of them). And, look, I'm not a professional economist, but I think it's reasonably easy to guess what happens when you remove millions of people of working age from the labor pool. Again, this is likely to be inflationary (less workers available, so pay and, thus, costs, go up) and recessionary (fewer consumers buying things) at the same time.

PUBLIC HEALTH

With a knowledgeable public health expert like RFK Jr. leading the government's public health efforts, what could possibly go wr… sorry, couldn't finish that with a straight face. Yeah, Trump's gone off the deep end public health-wise ever since the public health people kept pointing out how badly he was screwing up his last major public health emergency, so now he's only listening to quacks and nut jobs.

The odds are pretty good that vaccines are on the target list and the administration will reduce or eliminate programs that encourage them. It's a good bet that, in the next decade or so, we'll see a resurgence of diseases like measles and polio that we thought we'd eradicated. Of course, if we get another pandemic like Covid, I'd bet on a high body count and massive economic impact as well.

We're also likely to see more and more women dying due to pregnancy-related complications. Biden was pushing hard to enforce a federal law that requires hospitals to save women's lives, but it's doubtful that Trump will keep doing that. He'll also likely not enforce any other protections and allow even stronger crackdowns on abortion in states that are eager to do so.

MINORITIES

If you're not a straight, white, cisgender, Christian man, things are likely to get a lot worse for you over the next four years. Look for the administration to take every opportunity to attack gay and trans people and to promote Christianity over other beliefs. The Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice is also likely to be neutered, as it has been under every Republican administration since at least Reagan, so many states will happily violate the rights of racial minorities without any federal pushback. The same is true of laws and regulations that protect women.

Beyond the official, though, we also have to face the societal effects of another Trump Presidency. Despite the loud protestations of his supporters, Trump is beloved among the racist far-right, and for good reason. His administration borrowed heavily from their ideas and their language and even used their personnel and there's no reason to expect a second term to be any different. There is a reason that right-wing terror surged in our country in Trump's first term and it'll probably do the same now.

Expect more shootings of black and brown people and more attacks on Jews and Jewish places of worship. The racists believe the President is on their side and he's given them no reason to think otherwise.

THE NEXT ELECTION

All right, I'm going out on a limb here and this is my longest range projection, but it's a fairly reasonable bet that Democrats will take/retake the House of Representatives in 2026. I can confidently predict this because the party that controls the presidency has lost House seats in nearly every election since the Great Depression. Based on current results (which may change as western states count more votes), the Republicans will have a 4 vote margin in the House and the average midterm loss is 27 seats. Heck, they lost 47 seats in 2018 the last time Trump was in office. Even the Democrats who had a good year in 2022 still lost 10 seats. Seems like a pretty good bet.

As for the Senate, that's a bit harder to predict. At the moment, Republicans will have anywhere from 52 to 54 seats when all the votes are counted from this election. Based on the 2020 Senate elections map (that's the class of Senators that will be up for re-election in 2026), I'd count anywhere from 2-4 seats that the Democrats might be able to flip, the rest are probably safe. So is it possible that Democrats could retake the Senate in '26? Absolutely. Is it likely? Good question. Ask me in a year or so.

CONCLUSION

It's likely that life in America is going to get worse over the next year or two, how much worse depends a lot on how we react. At best, we'll likely face further inflation (every economic policy Trump has voiced support for is inflationary), increased sickness and disease, and increased attacks on the lives and well-beings of anyone who isn't a straight, white, cisgender, Christian man. At worst, well, all of those things but much more intense.

If we're fortunate, Democrats will take the House and serve as a much-needed check on the worst impulses of President-elect Trump. If not, at least the next election will likely do it, though a good deal of damage will be done between now and then.

[dreamings-free]

It's not just the Black Keys. Why are so many big tours selling poorly? Stereogum | June 11, 2024 | by Zach Schonfeld

long (and US focused) but still quite interesting article on the current state of concert touring, why tours are getting cancelled or downsized, and what's up with ticket pricing. (my selected excerpts/highlights under the cut)

[excerpt, all highlights mine]

[Eric Renner Brown, a senior editor at Billboard] adds, “I do think [The Black Keys] are an artist that can fill those rooms still. I think the demand is there in terms of people who want to see Black Keys. But perhaps at that price point, the demand was not there.”

Ostensibly, agents and promoters should have access to data that can give them a better sense of demand. But they often place outsized importance on raw streaming numbers.

“The data is very confusing,” says the anonymous booking agent. “There’s a lot of passive listeners for data. You can have millions upon millions of streams, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna turn into tickets. The opposite is, there are some artists who don’t have many streams at all and they can sell like 2,000, 3,000 tickets.”

[..]

It’s worth noting that the Black Keys have released four albums since returning from hiatus in 2019, and toured arenas as recently as 2022. This may be a case of oversaturating the market.

The band’s 2019 and 2022 arena runs weren’t exactly sold out. In between, the band left their longtime manager in 2021, signing with Irving Azoff and Steve Moir at Full Stop Management. Some sources speculate that Azoff, a former CEO of Ticketmaster, may have encouraged ambitious touring plans. On Thursday, Billboard reported that the group has now parted ways with Azoff and Moir. (The management company did not respond to a request for comment.)

“Essentially, you have some very big managers that are out of touch with the granular finesse and nuance of ticketing,” says another anonymous booking agent. “And they have these large expectations and they tell their agents what they want. And the agents are probably texting each other on the side, going, ‘This man is out of his fucking mind.’ But they do it anyway because, in the case of Black Keys, they’re not gonna challenge Irving Azoff.”

[..]

One contributing factor to instability in the touring industry is the rising cost of… well, everything. It’s part of why ticket prices are so high; it’s also part of the reason some acts are backing out of touring commitments.

Bands at all levels have been sounding the alarm about this for years. In 2022, for instance, Animal Collective canceled European tour dates and explained, “We simply could not make a budget for this tour that did not lose money even if everything went as well as it could.”

Industry insiders say that’s not uncommon. “Everything is ridiculously expensive,” says a tour manager who works with major acts and asked not to be named. “There’s not enough gear for everyone to share, so the vendors are having to pay high amounts for equipment. A single bus for a six-week tour can cost $100,000. Multiple that by multiple buses, and then trucks, and then crews are at a minimum, so they’re getting top rate right now because there’s not enough crews.”

COVID, of course, exacerbated this crunch. “What happened after the pandemic is, everyone was ready to tour at once,” the tour manager says. “There’s not enough gear to cover all of that. A lot of bands have had to cancel tours because they don’t have gear or they couldn’t afford the gear,” the tour manager continued. “I was on a tour with somebody last year where we had to book a private jet because there were no buses available. For the first week of the tour, we had to charter planes.”

Acts are thus incentivized to book bigger venues to recoup the costs of touring. The catch-22 is that bigger venues necessitate more elaborate stage production, which makes for a more expensive tour.

“There’s the expectation to have that production,” says the tour manager. “If people went back to having just two trusses of lights and a P.A. and no frills, it was just about the music, they can afford to tour. But everyone wants to see those flashing lights. Everyone wants to see that video.”

“So much of the economics of these big tours is completely invisible to fans and consumers,” says Kevin Erickson, director of Future of Music Coalition, a nonprofit advocacy group. “You can sell out a tour and come back in the red if there was a cost overrun or a miscalculation.”

For mid-level acts with sizable followings, these frustrations are compounded by a lack of suitable mid-sized venues.

“For a band that maybe has assessed its demand in the market to be in the 8K range or something for capacity, where are they going to go if that sort of venue doesn’t exist?” says Brown. “And if, say, the local theater that seats 3K or 4K can’t accommodate two or three nights, it can only put them for one night on the tour routing. That’s a real concern.”

[..]

At the end of the day, it all comes back to price. The average ticket price for one of the top 100 tours rose from $91.86 to $122.84 between 2019 and 2023. Concerts are too damn expensive, and there’s a growing sense of consumer frustration with shows that cost as much as airline tickets.

-> read the full article here on Stereogum.com

[kanmom51]

JK Live 4 October 2023

21:01 or 9:01 pm KST

cr./To all the creators of the media used in this post.

I was waiting for this, and kind of expecting this to happen, lol.

He said he'd be live at 9 pm. And yes, you can say, it's unintentional, a coincidence, but I say NO.

Both JK and JM have shown us over the years their attention to the numbers, the dates.

Starting the live at 9:01 was intentional.

9/1 or 1/9, however you look at it!!

Let's talk about the live, why don't we?

It was definitley an interesting one.

In a gist, JK shut down (well tried to) the whole Mingyu shipping shit. He most definitley shut down TKKs. I actually kinda, maybe (not really), felt sorry for them.

He listened to all the members songs, with certain degrees of favouritism and certain degrees of, well, not...

He drank. Like a lot. I think maybe someone needs to fill him in on the secret that alcohol does have calories. Yes, whiskey might not be as bad as beer on that front, but drinking as much and then not eating cause he's dieting... well, not the healthiest choice. And this is not, god forbid, me mothering or smothering him. His health is important for his performance (he says that himself), not to mention, man is constantly hungry. Eat more, is what I'm saying.

He once again demonstrated his neuro-divergency (that whole clean up session he had in the kitchen, lol).

He showed us, again that's it's all about choices.

He got pensive and serious at a point and said some very important things, which I will, of course, discuss here in my post.

He is super tired, but really struggling to sleep.

He is fighting so hard to drop the cute image, but man, it's just imbedded in him. He is so cute!!!

And he is so genuine.

He is genuine.

Let us begin our journey into JK's almost 1.5 hour live (yep, we are back to those, lol).

He starts out telling us he just got home from the company, and that he hasn't even prepared his glass (of drink) - kind of solidifies my belief that the 9:01 pm starting time was meaningful and intentional, because then he goes and prepares his glass and drink.

He invited us to have drinks with him, so as he's preparing his own drink he tells us to fill up our glasses as well, lol. Throughout the live he has 3 highballs, and by the end of the live admits he's kind of drunk. Which is not that surprising given he is drinking on an empty stomach (as high as his tolerance to alcohol may be).

He explains he came on Weverse on the 4th and not earlier because of his solo album announcement. Golden. Makes a toast with us to celebrate it. And he talks a little about it as well.

He tells us how Golden represented him after debut. We know him as the Golden maknae, he mentions I think GC (which for some reason they translate as golden chest and not golden closet, maybe because whoever is translating isn't aware of golden closet, who knows...), how he wrote a poem called Golden (the one JM went all gushy about, if you recall), And also "this moment is like a golden period for me." - Golden hour perhaps? Kind of fits with his choice of lighting for the live as well. Just saying.

And there you have it!!!

And after seeing this, go back and take another look at his concept photo...

The album includes 3D and the clean and explicit versions of Seven. 11 songs on it, which means we will get to hear 8 new songs!!!

He also explains how he thought he would release an ep and somehow it became a full album.

He didn't give too much info (well, he couldn't of course), but told us the title track has a performance and he's practicing, like A LOT. He wants to do well and is giving it his best. He also lets us know that the title song is a hard one and will be awesome!! I do hope this one is not a collab though (just my own wishes here). He is confident we will like it, and says we can look forward to it. I know I am.

He's complaining about how his body isn't the same, he's exhausted. Well JK my man, you wanted to be a adult, and us adults, we grow old too, lol...

He says "there is nothing that is making me stressed out, I am just tired." Now, that could be meant about the album being released, or the performance he's preparing for. But it could also be more...

He says he's keeping his voice down and wanted to be calm and have "older bro vibe", lol.

He wants to go with older bro vibe. Appear to be more mature? Since his full album is coming out?

Ok, so I'm going to say this here. The translation is somewhat off and wacky. I felt this with JM's live on 1st September with some of it, and I feel the same here as well. The whole golden chest thing, the "I'm keeping the weight down" when he's talking about the older bro vibe, and more... It feels like a. whoever is doing this doesn't know JK too much (the golden chest is a big clue), and b. are they just translating literally and not the actual sentence meaning?

JK shares with us how tired he is, how he's still having trouble sleeping, that he practiced real hard today and that his upcoming schedule is hellish. I can only imagine. He's really worried, "will I be good at this?"

Now, let's stop here for a second shall we? Didn't he just minutes before tell us he's not stressed out? So, perhaps that wasn't about the album and promotions at all? Perhaps that was more about the white noise shitshow that was going on in the background? Telling us that isn't bothering him, all while now sharing with us that what he is worried about is if he'll be good enough, do well enough with his performances?

He shows us he got an IV today, needs to replenish himself, yet he hasn't eaten. "I have to take care of my body too". Yes he does. But at the same time he says he has to lose weight. It kind of frustrates me, but then again, this is their reality, as idols. I just wish there would be less pressure on them in that aspect.

He reads a comment telling him to do well, says he will.

And then this:

Ok, so thing is, please raise your hand if you actually do believe the commenter was asking JK if he loves Taehyun of TXT.

No show of hands I see.

Lmao.

Nah, when this happened I didn't have the comments on and in any case wouldn't have been able to read them, not knowing Korean. But I kind of felt like maybe whoever wrote it wasn't Karmy and misspelled it perhaps? And then I saw this.

So here's the thing. If this was a misspell, makes sense that JK was maybe blissfully unaware of the intent of the comment.

But if this was indeed spelled out correctly, I kind of have my doubts he didn't read it right, especially given he says it twice before answering. And he's off telling us about TXT Taehyun. Whom he spoke with on the phone that day. He's so well mannered and cute, while being an old soul. Ok, here we go with another Taekook ship, lol. JK spoke to someone - must be something going on there. No wonder the man is so damn tired... Seven days a week seven sets of sheets... (eww... NOOOOOOO). No, but seriously, did we know that Taehyun was a good friend of JK's? No we didn't. Now we do.

Not seeing it doesn't mean it's not there!!!

It's funny how JK runs himself down constantly. Like the man is so intelligent. Perhaps not book smart (which is why he keeps saying he's not smart), but not everything about life is learnt from a book, and his emotional intelligence and artistic intelligence are next level. But he keeps running himself down, and I kind of feel that sometimes fans only hear or see that of him, instead of seeing his art and listen to what actually comes out of his mouth when he starts speaking about the deeper things.

Again, the "I'm Jungkook's girlfriend" comments. Ugh yuck. Like shut the fuck up already. But he just brushes it off. Reads it, asks what they are doing at this hour and snickers.

Comment "I really love you a lot". JK "I think I love you more". This is once again JK cementing just how great his love for army is. He will talk about it more later too.

Look, man loves army. We can't even start to understand the connection he has with army, given his whole career, starting out at such an early age and going through all the struggles that they went through to get where they are right now, feeling that it's because this sense of loyalty and love that army have for them. So yes, he loves army.

And another idiot in the comments asking JK to take off his shirt. Of course these people are flooding his comments. Funny how his reaction is:

Yes he giggles, but he's uncomfortable. And asks why they even said that. "It's embarrassing".

Happy that he called them out. As if it will help though.

JK shows us his Vogue magazine, the hip hop concept, which he says he liked the most.

Ok, so this was maybe intentional (I kinda feel it was), maybe not, but cute none the less.

He talks about how the comments are lagging, slow, and says:

and then he thinks for a second, eyes looking to the side (mind working), and goes:

Kind of random, don't you think?

Coming up with the 13 seconds lagging.

And happening to end up with 10-13. 🤣🤣

So, he started the live at 9-1 and now we have 10-13!!!

I'd say, either this was intentional (him stopping to think might just hint to that) or the man has 13 etched on his brain. 13 and 10, which is kind of coming up very soon...

Next JK talks about the TikTok he deleted.

Now here's the thing. On Stationhead JK said he saw the trend and wanted to do it. Not a word about doing the opposite of the trend. Going "the other way". JK isn't saying he didn't want us to see the clip he uploaded (which kind of might have been what was understood from what he said in Stationhead, and maybe that's why he's clarifying here). He says he wanted his TikTok to be for dancing and that's why he deleted. He also seems to be happy that army had seen it and spread it around regardless of him deleting. So, he wanted us to see it, but better it not be on his TikTok. And the thing is that he posted it to start with. He knew that army will catch it and spread it. He knew!!! And he wanted us to. I don't know how to articulate this properly to make my point clearly, but the whole thing screams Queer coding to me. I talked about it in a previous post, and I stand by my words.

This wasn't about doing something silly and then regretting and deleting. This was about posting something with a message, and then deleting because it couldn't stay up on his account ("as long as it's not on my tiktok"), but relying on army to catch it and spread it around.

"Let's talk in English", reading out a comment...

The Nah, though, lol.

"English is so difficult", he says in English, lol.

Talks about how the comments are slow and the responses in Stationhead were immediate, and then, out of nowhere he's going...

Puiriri...

Well, he actually does this during Like crazy as well.

Nope, not JM on the brain what so ever...

"Korean is sexy"...him going with that's right, Korean is the hardest language... He actually talks about how the translations from English to Korean differ from translator to translator and how interesting that is. True about the opposite way as well, seeing the difference in the structures of both languages.

"You want to see me laugh?"

Funny, the original translations were "smile if you're real". Either way, he's hilarious.

I can't with him. LMAO.

Prepares drink no. 2.

Again, this man doesn't want to be called cute, but he's so damn cute, lol. Like how can you be preparing this alcoholic drink and still be so cute about it? Lol.

No tequila or champagne for JK.

"You want to have a drink with me?"

JK: You already all know it.

Why does it feel like JK is talking about so much more than just knowing his address is up on YT?

"You want me to call out my address? But you really can't visit me." Boundaries set once again. With a smile. But set none the less.

Plays a song he tells us he was recommended by one of the dancers while filming 3D MV. 21 by Gracie Abrams.

Says we'll be like this today "let's rest". How you can call what he does later as rest I have no idea, lol.

He shows us where he shot the TikTok clips, the corridor. Shows and explains a little how he does it.

Does a little clean up sesh in the kitchen. The way he was rearranging the bottles and utensils, while on live, was that intentional? Was it just his neuro divergency, getting distracted perhaps? Idk.

Asked if he ate, asks "what will I eat?" in English and tries to say something else or thinks maybe he didn't say it properly initially, but gives up, lol.

Then someone askes to hear Hobi's song. And JK is happy to go put on Jhope's song, saying he misses him. 😭

Says "Arson", twice, but then plays "More", lol.

Ok, so this is where we start with listening to the members songs, and I do have something to say about this.

JK plays 2 of Hobi's songs, and puts on a show.

If this is JK resting... Lol.

Sure he's tired...

After Hobi, JK plays Tae's Slow dancing.

Then stops the song, sits down saying how tiring have to rest and then says "Let's go with all the major songs for the members".

And guess who's next... one guess allowed... Of course you know the answer to that.

He has Like crazy playing twice in a row and then SMF pt. 2. He really LOVES SMF pt. 2. You can tell it means A LOT to him. Not that LC doesn't, but I feel that emotionally LC is harder for him, while SMF pt. 2 is cathartic (for JM and as such so meaningful to him as well).

He's all playful with LC.

We have this as well...

And at some point wants to do something, walks off camera looking for a prop, I guess, only to come back deciding it's a no go - won't be fun (me sitting here dying to know what he was up to).

The whole bottle empty during LC.

He moves on to Jin, 1 and a half songs, RM (3 songs) and Suga (2 songs).

Point being, the only member that gets only 1 song played is Tae. Ouch. The only member to have the same song played twice - JM.

So, let's talk a second about the whole Like crazy playing twice. Cause Idk if you get it. He listens to Hobi and then Tae's Slow dancing, then says "we have to listen to all the members", cause he ain't falling into the TKK trap, and he plays JM. Cause, of course it would be JM. But here's the thing. Each one of them was on a specific playlist. When he played a song it continued to the next song in line. Hobi he said Arson, but actually played More (which was interesting within itself), and then it went to On the streets. RM same, went down through his album, Suga the same. But not JM. He played Like crazy, and then following it, him not moving from his chair or changing the songs or going to play it again, it played it again. Same version. In the album Like crazy is followed by SMF pt. 2 (which did follow the second time LC played, and he did listen through that too). So my question is what kind of playlist JK has for JM? Does he just have these songs going on repeat? He gets up to stop it just at the end of SMF pt. 2, and I can't help but wonder what the next song would have been? SMF pt. 2 again maybe?

Of course he still remembers the choreo.

He talks about Jin and Super Tuna, how he's wild and that side of him is why the team is so bright. He really loves him so, and misses him.

"I miss my members".

Prepares drink no. 3.

The whole ceremony around the drink preparations... he's so funny.

He makes a comment about Jin's MV while looking towards where his whole music playing set up is. So, this is YT he's playing from? Which means these would be YT playlists? Which means he watches LC on repeat? I mean, who could blame him really?

Gets up to change the playlist to RM's songs.

While Flowerworks is playing he reads a comment and says:

"Did Mingyu cut his hair?"

Now, we know they saw each other later that night, getting together with others as well, but JK once again draws the lines here. He's a good friend definitley. Someone he hangs out with, of course. But knowing if he cut his hair... meaning being in constant contact with him or more than that, as there are some that might think... nope.

Ok, time to get serious.

He starts to talk about the members songs, their "colours are so different", and then he's asked after resuming activities in 2025 what he wants all the members to do together? Turns down the music a bit to get serious:

Make an album, quickly come out to see army, first priority of course. From the moment they get back together to find the way to come out as quickly as possible. "We will do Bon voyage...we will do In the soop..."

Stops, gets up to turn down the volume even more, and this is when you know he's delving even deeper, and getting even more serious. Sits down and continues...

Ok, I'm really not sure this is about the solo activities. He talks about that further on. I thought this when I first heard this during the live, and although the wording is slightly different I still think this is JK is sending us a message. They love us, they love each other. They will be coming back and they will be giving it their all. But that said, they will also have their own personal lives. Setting the stage, perhaps? For relationship announcements? Marriages on the way? He told us that he wants to make us happy, but to do so we have to understand that he deserves happiness as well. Is this one step further in that direction? yes their focus is on army, but with all of that they will also have their own personal paths.

He continues about them wanting to "look awesome" in front of us, or want to give us strength,

He knows what his top priority is, and he hopes we know that we are the reason. For real.

He continues to talk about coming back in 2025, releasing a song, saying it will be approx. 2 years.

They mustn't forget there are those rooting for BTS. Train, release an album, tour.

They will have to meet army around the world.

This is interesting:

They will reveal by doing shootings and "let your ears get pleased and let you watch our shows". Stories

"BTS is this kind of team". That is what they will show.

And what members each want to do, they can do that later. Him making clear that their first priority is the comeback as BTS.

Number one priority is about the group, and he makes sure we understand that this is not only him speaking but also true for every single one of them.

Again, army's importance to him. This isn't acting or being false or fake, this is genuinely what he feels. When said in a comment that army are because of BTS he corrects them, sets things straight: BTS are here because of army!!

And then this happens:

"Jeon Jimin?" he reads out a comment.

Now, I understand people think it's disrespectful because of the meaning it has in the West but the fact that in Korea people don't change their names after marriage. Thing is, Karmy nor JK, for that matter, really find it offensive? He doesn't even take it that way. To him it's someone putting their two names together, I'd say just like Jikook or minkook or kookmin. Nothing more nothing less. And he chooses to read it out. He could have just left it, but he decided to read the comment out.

This is when he remembers he has to play Suga's songs too, lol. Playing Haegeum.

"How can all the member have such different tastes in music? Isn't that fascinating?"

I love it that he feels that way. I love it that he knows how talented he is (especially knowing how he runs himself down intellectually). I love that he knows and appreciates the rest of the members talent as well. They are all different, and yet all outstanding each in their own way.

And not only does he see that in them, he also attributes his own growth as a person to them.

JK tells us how Yoongi told him off for not doing the Haegeum dance challenge, repeats it a couple of times too, how he was upset about it, lol. So he says he will do it. A little late, no? And he makes sure to make it clear that it won't be soon either. But it will go up on his TikTok.

Toilet break time.

Comes back, finishes up his drink and stops Amygdala to play Seven and 3D before he ends his live.

So, he chooses the explicit version of Seven. Sings along. Admits he's a little drunk and for now will stop drinking. Emphasis on "for now", lol.

Now, while he's playing Seven someone asks for him to play Slow dancing.

Once is enough, thank you very much!! Lmao. He just keeps shutting them down. It's also the way he says it, the intonation. Sound annoyed, lol.

Says he'll play 3D and say his goodbyes, which he does. Sings along to 3D as well, ad-libbing at the end, kind of wondering if this is something we will be getting in his live performances. It does feel like he chooses to sing certain lyrics while not others, in both Seven and 3D.

Then he says his goodbyes, to look forward to the album, to know that he is always thinking of us, to have a wonderful night and day and thanks us again .

So that's it. JK's live. Missed these lives of his, as exhausting as writing these posts are, lol. This is Jungkook. Cute and funny and serious and sincere.

[builtbykittie]

Thirst

J.T.K x f!reader

Summary: you lose your friends at a party, the unfamiliar setting sending you into a panic. Giving up your search, you meet someone very peculiar...

Warnings: 18+, VAMP JAKE, mentions of alcohol, blood, portrayal of fear, injury & pain, blood feeding, SMUT, public sex, oral (f & m rec), fingering, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, choking, anything else I forgot

Words: 5.8k

A/N: happy Halloween to all that celebrate! In honor of one of my favorite times of the year, I give you a spooky Jake smut. Enjoy!

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A chill creeps its way up your spine as the crisp October weather nips at your skin. "Can't tell which one it is can you?" You jest, shutting the car door behind you and staring at the large house decorated with countless Halloween props, loud music booming inside.

Your friends had plans to go to a party just outside of your city for Halloween. You originally said no but they inevitably convinced you. Apparently one of them knew the host of the party, but of course, you were still suspicious regardless of who knew who.

Large animatronics greet you on your way to the front door, anxiety settling in as you get a glimpse of everybody through the window. Suck it up. It's just a party, what's the worst that could happen?

If you're being honest with yourself, a lot could happen. It is Halloween, after all.

Going against all of your ethics, you walk through the door. Just as you expected there is not a single face you recognize and your group splits up, all going their separate ways. You knew you shouldn't have come.

Instant regret takes over your head and a lump forms in your throat. You can't leave because you didn't even take your car and you don't know anyone that could drive almost an hour just to come get you and drop you back off at your house. You decide a drink could be the best therapy right now.

As you walk through the main room, you lock eyes with a man leaning back against the wall, alone and observing the party. You watch as his tired eyes light up and he stands straight before you look away.

To your misfortune, the kitchen is completely crowded, you're unable to even see the counters. "Excuse me," you try your best to get past the crowd of people in costumes. After no one hears you, you say it again, then again.. and after trying over and over to get past everyone you realize it's no use. Why is nobody listening?

You grow frantic, scanning for any familiar faces. None. You ask countless people if they've seen your friends, giving them the best description you could possibly give, but to no avail. Finally giving up, you spot the patio door and make a beeline straight to it.

The second the cold air hits your skin goosebumps cover your body, nobody else in sight. Odd... Falling into the chair behind you, your eyes flutter shut. By the time you sit down, it's nearly 11:30 p.m. and you're undeniably tired.

You're not positive how much time has passed since you sat down, but you know it's time to get up once you find yourself dozing off. Looking into the party, you dread going back in, so you don't. Is it kinda crazy to be hopping a fence in a vampire dress at eleven at night? Absolutely. Do you care? Not even a little.

Silently thanking the universe that you learned how to hop a fence at a young age, you take your shoes off and throw them over the fence, stepping on the wire and hopping over. As you're getting over the fence, the wire snags your dress and cuts into the meat of your thigh.

The sudden pain causes you to fall over, luckily you hold your arms out to break the fall, but not without tiny rocks and sticks penetrating your skin. "Shit!" You cry, and shakily brush the dirt from your body, hot tears burning at your waterline as you put your shoes back on. This night truly cannot get any worse.

The sound of leaves cracking underneath footsteps interrupts your moment of self-pity, your head darting up faster than the blink of an eye. Your mind races, tears beginning to stream down your hot cheeks as you prepare for the worst.

A relatively shorter figure turns the corner to find you, curled up on the ground with blood trickling down your thigh. "Woah are you okay?" The stranger's low raspy voice speaks from where he stands, slowly stepping forward. "Um.. yeah," you nearly whisper, but the way your voice shakes and cracks proves that you're the opposite of okay.

"Please, let me help," he insists, still taking languid steps to make sure he doesn't startle you. All you can do is nod, accepting your fate. You're never one to trust a stranger, let alone a guy, but you're desperate.

He slowly extends his right arm, patiently holding it out for you. You take his hand, surprisingly calloused fingers holding tightly onto your wrist. "I'm Jacob," he softly grunts as he swiftly pulls you up "Well, Jake."

As you rise to your feet, his face becomes clearer, the moon shining just enough light for you to be able to scan his features. The same man you saw in the house earlier. The first thing you notice is his perfectly plump lips, then his sharp cheekbones, his eyebrows slightly knitted together in worry. The longer you look, the more you fall for him. You absolutely do not believe in love at first sight, but he might just be an exception.

However, you do notice something else. He looks sick.

You brush it off as makeup and pat yourself down "Thank you, I'm Y/N." Jake sends you a tight-lipped grin as you both begin to take steps forward "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Oh, it's stupid. My friends took me here but left me and I know nobody so I snuck out the back," you swipe away the tears from your cheeks and jawline. His eyebrows furrow and he brings his fingers to his chin "So how'd you get all... messy?" You feel his eyes linger on the large cut down your thigh, blood still trickling out.

"Well... I decided I didn't wanna go back in there, so I tried to hop the fence." A hushed chuckle leaves his lips and you start to realize just how dumb you sound, blood quickly rushing to your cheeks. "I know it's dumb I should've just gone through the house..." you trail off, bringing your cold scraped hands up to your hot face.

"Oh darling, I understand," he grasps the metal fence, opening it for you and placing his hand on the small of your back as he follows you out of the front yard. Darling. Replaying the word in your head, your tummy fills with butterflies fluttering around in your tummy. Knock it off. He's a stranger.

"Can you drive?" His hand never leaves its place on your back. "Considering the fact I didn't drink... I'd say yeah," you kick a rock as you both walk away from the house "but I don't have my car." Suddenly it grows eerily silent, and you become aware of a forest ahead. "Good."

"What?" You stop dead in your tracks, turning to face him. "Can I show you something?" He reaches out to grab your wrist, but you dodge. Fear courses through veins, you frantically look around, searching for anyone to be your knight in shining armor.

"Uh.. my friends are probably looking for me," you smile, hesitantly stepping back. "You sure? Because last time I was in there nobody knew who you were..." Jake steps closer to you, his eyes dark and pupils dilated.

Your own eyes widen as you look around you, without much thought you remove your heels and dart off into the woods.

You run and run until you absolutely cannot push yourself any further. Collapsing against a tree, you drop your heels, letting the tree hold your weight as you sob into your hands. For a minute, you believe you've lost him, struggling to catch your breath as sobs leave your body.

You're proven wrong as you hear the crunch of leaves beneath his boots. A sick, gut wrenching fear manifests it's way into your stomach, twisting your insides. Your heart races and tears flow from your eyes like melting wax on a burning candle. At this point, you're ready to give up.

Jake takes slow steps toward you, as he approaches, he brings his hand up to your waist. He firmly squeezes the meat of your waistline, shooting a sharp pain into your side as he pulls you into him. "Look at me," he demands, his voice low and raspy.

You listen, not just out of fear for your life, but also curiosity. Your eyes flick up to his, wide and fearful as they dart across his face. His other hand grabs your hair in a ponytail "I know you're scared baby, I don't blame you."

Silent sobs leave your body in a mix of fear, confusion, anger, and something else you can't quite put your finger on. Jake violently pulls your head to the side, revealing your neck to him "I'm not gonna hurt you, I don't want to. I promise."

You try your best to keep your crying unknown, but it's no use. Your chest bounces and choked noises escape from your lips. Jake lets go of your hair, both of his hands coming up to cup your cheeks. "Oh please, don't cry," he begs, cleaning up your smudged mascara before coming down to lick the tears from your face. Your brows furrow at the act, but you'd be dead lying if you said you didn't half enjoy it.

His face lingers near yours, your eyes darting all over his face. By now, you are strictly breathing in each other's breaths "Do you want to kiss me?" Your breath hitches in your throat at the question, his face inching even closer than before. It's as if your body is betraying you, you're unable to say anything even if you tried.

If you didn't want to, you'd pull away.

Finally, you manage to nod. A small tight-lipped smile plays on his lips "I have something first..." Confusion and anticipation swirl through your head, you quirk an eyebrow as you wait for what's next.

He doesn't speak, instead, bearing his teeth and dragging two pointed teeth along your lower lip. Your eyes widen and your heartbeat speeds to an impossible pace. There's no way.

Slowly and painfully he begins to sink them into the flesh of your red lips just far enough to create two beads of blood. You suck in a quick gasp as he licks the wounds before pressing his lips against yours. A tingly feeling becomes evident in your stomach and you find yourself oddly aroused by the situation.

"Holy shit. Jake. You're-" he cuts you off, his lips crashing against yours.

You lift your arms, grasping onto the back of his head and pushing him into you. The sting of his lips pressing against the fresh cuts on yours is so deliciously painful. Nothing about this is right.

His hands come up to grope your ass, eliciting a desperate whine into his mouth. You pull him even closer, letting him walk you backward into a tree, never breaking contact. The throb between your legs becomes unbearable as you bury your fingers into his scalp and Jake tugs on your hair.

"Y/N, there's a reason I chose you tonight," his hands sneak around your body, smoothing over the swell of your breasts. Jake groans as he feels your stiffened nipples under his palms. "Why's that?" You mutter, your voice hushed and sultry as your hands begin to wander all over his body, your lips pressed to his jawline.

"Because you were the most beautiful thing to walk through that door," he breathes, slotting a knee between your thighs and grasping your waist. You can't help but let out a tiny moan and pull his face towards you, desperately missing the contact. He pulls back, keeping you still against the tree by your waist "The moment I saw you I knew I'd have you." Jake's strength is unbelievable. You cannot move at all, you're all but squirming as you try to touch him.

"Do you want to fuck me, Y/N?"

The question shocks you and before you can think you begin to nod, then shake your head no, then you nod again. As you're granted his mouth on yours, you slip your tongue between his lips, dragging it over his teeth and pricking it on his canine's. Jake hums against your tongue, pulling away and wrapping one hand around your neck "I gotta hear you say it, darling." You swallow thickly against his neck, discomfort creeping up your throat as he gently squeezes.

"Yes," you whine, your fingers massaging his scalp as you try your hardest to kiss him "Please." He licks up your jawline and peppers kisses to the area. You snake your arm down to his abdomen and untuck his shirt, the tips of your fingers creeping up under the fabric.

He drops his hand and a sharp sting burns on your neck, sucking in a loud gasp and clamping your eyes shut as you realize he's biting you. The pain only lasts a few moments before he withdrawals from you, lapping at the wounds.

Suddenly he slaps your hand away from his torso and sinks down, dragging his calloused fingers down your bare thighs. "Jake what are you-" you're shushed, shock coursing through your veins as his hot breath fans over the deep cut on your thigh.

You throw your head back and let out a cry through gritted teeth in agony as he points his tongue, cleaning the blood from your wound.

"Shit! Jake, fuck," You wail, the pain numbing your body and your vision going blurry. After the blood is cleaned, Jake leans back and places kisses to each wound, a sharp pain shooting up your leg at each peck. "You're delicious, love," he praises "and I haven't even gotten to the best part."

A rush of exhilaration surges through your veins, your insides feeling as if they've just burst into flames. "Please," is all you can muster as Jake starts to draw a line of kisses up your thigh and then down the other. "Patience, love."

You roll your eyes dramatically and sigh, your head spinning as you wait for his next move. Jake continues to draw slow lines of pecks all over your legs as his hands find their place under the skirt of your dress. Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest once his cold fingers reach your panties, his hands resting just on top of your hips.

"You're such a good girl. Being so still and quiet for me," Jake speaks through kisses to your legs that are moving higher and higher by the second. You fight the urge to say something, instead letting him lead the way. At this point you're so wound up that just a slight touch to your heat might drive you mad.

His hands slide down, snagging on your thong and tugging them down. "Shit," Jake groans "Lace?" You can't see his face, but you know he's looking up to you, and your cheeks burn up.

"I- it's just- they're the only clean ones I had..." You stammer, tucking your hair away from your face. "Don't lie to me, baby," Jake smooths his hands over your thighs before bringing one up with a slap against your ass. "I'm not. I- I promise," you lie, chewing on your nails.

Jake simply ignores you, pulling your panties down to your ankles and hiking your dress up past your core.

"Oh baby, you just wanted your pretty little pussy to get a little attention tonight, huh?" He taunts you, bringing his thumb up to your slit and collecting juices. A breathy moan slips out of your lips, your hands involuntarily flying to his hair. Just that interaction alone was enough to make you squirm.

"Mhm..." you can't seem to lie any longer, as if he's forcing you to tell the truth. Jake lays a kiss on the very top of your clit, a shock of electricity flowing through your body. "Yeah, how long has it been since someone fucked you right?"

Just as you go to speak, a moan rips through your chest. Jake drags his fingers through your folds, spreading your arousal all over. "I don't- don't know," you whimper as you melt into his touch, throwing your head back into the tree behind you.

Jake continues to tease you, pressing featherlight kisses to your slit. "M'gonna fuck you so good baby," he speaks through kisses down your inner thigh "make you forget anybody you've had before me."

His words only make you ache even more, your clit crying out to be touched. "Then do it, Jake," you whine "please." You hear a low snicker below you, Jake snakes his hands up your thighs and squeezes rather harshly "beg."

"Please Jake, please touch me. Make me forget everyone who came before you. Make me yours, please," you pet his hair as you speak, so incredibly aroused you can't think of anything but Jake's body. "Atta girl," he whispers lowly, a groan rumbling out from his chest as he breathes over your throbbing cunt.

Jake brings himself incredibly close to your heat, at this point, you're so aroused it's almost painful. Jake begins to kitten lick your incredibly hard clit, and you fight the incredible urge to push his face into you. "So fucking wet," Jake groans, your arousal glistening in the moonlight. "Jake, please... I- I can't," you cry, unable to wait any longer.

Without warning, Jake sucks your clit into his mouth. "Oh- oh fuck," you throw your head back, involuntarily bucking your hips. The velvety feeling of his tongue swirling around your clit as he hums against you is pure pleasure. Just as you get used to his mouth on you, his fingers come up to toy with your entrance, a loud desperate moan tumbling out of your lips.

You're so focused on the pleasure, that you nearly forget that you're in the middle of a forest "Somebody's gonna hear you, baby.." Your head begins to spin once again as you imagine someone hearing you, finding yourself suddenly enjoying yourself even more. "Fuck. You're filthy," Jake speaks lowly with a grin just before continuing his attack on your clit, still just teasing your entrance.

The feeling of his calloused fingers toying with your weeping cunt as his tongue circles around your swollen clit draws you closer and closer to the edge. Your head hangs down as your arms instinctively fly to his head, gently pushing him into you. Jake fights against your hands, a weak whimper flying out of your mouth as he shoves two fingers into you.

"Don't do that," he nips at your thigh "Be a good girl and put your hands behind your back for me." His fingers never stop, viciously ramming up into you as he speaks. You do just as he commanded, reluctantly holding your hands behind your back and struggling to stay inconspicuous.

Jake starts to kitten lick your swollen clit, choked moans fall from your lips as you feel your orgasm approach. Your knees buckle and you writhe against him, his fingers curling up and hitting every single spot just right.

"Oh fuck- right there.. right there," you whine, squirming above him. Just then, he pulls his fingers from you and brings them to his mouth. You let out a cry at the loss of your approaching climax, watching in disbelief as he licks your juices clean from his hand. A guttural groan bubbles up from deep within his chest at the taste, and for a fleeting moment you swear you saw his eyes glow a dark crimson red.

"What the fuck?" You whine, your brows furrowed as he rises to his feet. Jake brings his face to your ear and licks at your neck, his hot breath feeling as if it's burning into your skin "I wanna make you fall apart. Wanna make you so fucking wet for me. I know what I'm doing, just trust me, baby."

You have no choice but to trust him, afraid that if you say something you'll be robbed of the perfect orgasm again. You don't know what to do, your heart pounding in anticipation as his lips drag along your neck. "I want you to take me," he whispers between heavy breaths "Take me right here. Like the fucking slut I know you are."

Your heart skips a beat and you hear your heartbeat in your ears "You're so fucking good. Touch me, darling. Do whatever you please with me." Your stomach flutters, your arms moving before you can even think about what you're doing.

Your fingers find his pants, tracing the hem with your index finger before slightly dipping it in. With your other arm, you pull him into you and smash your lips against his. Impatiently unzipping his pants, you push them down as soon as you get the chance.

You don't even try to hold back or act calm, you're finally getting what you so desperately want. Anticipation courses through your veins as your fingers dance along the hem of his boxers, a deep groan tumbling from his lips and into your mouth once you dip two fingers in.

Your cold fingers nearly burn against his skin, your other arm still wrapped around him and buried deep in the tresses of his hair. Finally, you manage to wrap your hand around him, a deep moan escaping your mouth as you feel him pulsate against you.

You push his boxers down, meeting his pants at his feet. Another deep groan rumbles up from his chest as his cock springs free, his tip brushing against the fabric of your dress. Without a second thought, you drop to your knees, your hands instantly coming up to fondle his base.

Jake sucks in a sharp breath, obviously very pleasantly surprised. The ache between your legs grows even more as you hold him in both of your hands. He has the most perfect cock. He's the perfect length and girth, more than enough to fill you up completely.

Knocking yourself out of the trance his cock has you in, you spit on his length and start to stroke him at a painfully slow pace. You'd get him back for earlier, for robbing you of what you needed so badly.

Jake's hips begin to buck into your hand as you continue that same pace from earlier, desperate groans bubbling up from his chest. "Fuck- I'm not stupid," Jake murmurs, sending another involuntary thrust of his hips into your hand.

You ignore his statement, a devilish smile playing on your lips as you begin to tug on him, your thumb brushing over his slit. Breathy moans flow freely from his mouth in a mix of frustration and pleasure. You come down to draw a line of kisses down his length, lifting him slightly to lick a stripe up to his tip from underneath.

You don't break contact with him, continuing to tease his tip with kisses and kitten licks all while stroking him as slow as you possibly can. You nearly break him, slight noises spewing from his mouth as he continues to fuck himself into your hand harder and sloppier.

That is until he digs his fingers into your scalp, grabbing a bunch of hair and pulling you back. Tears prick at your waterline as he begins to pull you up by your hair, a loud yelp slipping past your swollen lips. "You fucking whore," Jake growls, letting go of your hair and pulling you into him by your waist with an iron-clad grasp.

"Please," you whimper, taking the opportunity to grind your body against his. Without another word, he's flipping you around with a grunt and throwing you into the tree. You throw your arms out and catch yourself on the tree, your palms throbbing as you scrape them even more.

A moan rips through your chest and for some sick reason, you find yourself even more turned on than before, if it's possible. "Fuck, baby. You like that? Do you like being hurt?" Jake's upper body is flush against your back, a chill sneaking up your body as he whispers in your ear.

You've never considered yourself a masochist, let alone someone who enjoys pain in general, but for Jake, you might be. Before you can fully process the question, you frantically nod your head. Jake presses his palm against your back, pushing you down and forcing you to bend over.

Your back arches slightly, allowing yourself to put on a show for him as you swivel your hips. The anticipation is too much, the feeling of his rough hands hiking up your dress and smoothing over your ass sending you into a frenzy. "You wanna be fucked so bad don't you pretty?" He slaps your ass, the other hand coming around your body and finding your heat.

"You're so fucking wet for me," Jake snarls, bending slightly to whisper in your ear. "M'gonna make you mine," his voice is low and gravely, a whine leaving your lips at the statement.

You hang your head as you wait, the throb between your legs becoming impossible to ignore. Jake's hand is still toying with your soaked pussy, his rough fingers running through your incredibly slick folds. "Jacob..."

"What is it?" He knows exactly what you want, simply just teasing to worsen your suffering. "Jake please," you whimper, trying your very best to keep calm "Make me yours." You hear a deep snicker from behind you, a shock of electricity flowing through your body as he begins to drag his tip through your cunt.

You push yourself back onto him, not at all expecting him to push into you. "Oh fuck," you cry, feeling every inch of him as he so deliciously stretches you out. "Shit- you feel so fucking good," he snarls, his hips faltering slightly as he begins to find the perfect rhythm.

Jake's hand comes in contact with your clit, sending your head flying back with a string of hushed curses at the feeling. He doesn't hold back, the skin of his thighs clashing with the backs of yours, the hand not toying with your sensitive clit slapping your ass before returning to its place on your hip.

The pattern Jake has set is so rough yet so sweet. His hips roll as they thrust into you relentlessly while his other hand babies your swollen bud. "Do you like this?" Jake grunts, punctuating each word with an intoxicating thrust.

"Like- fuck- like what?" You stutter, pushing yourself with your hands to fuck yourself back onto him even harder. "Being treated like a slut out here in the open," he growls "Anyone can walk in and see us. Anyone can hear you moan for me like a little whore."

His words mixed with the rhythm of his hips and the way his fingers dance along your clit elicit sick noises you didn't even know you could make. "Mhm..." You moan, clawing at the bark of the tree to keep yourself as quiet as possible.

"Tell me how much you love it, darling," he rasps, and you can tell it's getting harder for him to form sentences. The hand at your hip finds its way to your neck, squeezing ever so gently and pulling you up into him.

You fail to form a sentence, his hand squeezing harder than before "go on, say it." All that comes out as you open your mouth is a pathetic squeal, bringing one hand off the tree to grasp the wrist around your throat.

"I love it, Jake," a cry of pleasure falling past your lips as he delivers a particularly sharp thrust into you "It's so fucking hot." His cock lit the embers deep within you, a fire sparking in your core as he buries himself so far inside you.

His hand keeps its grip around your throat, the other still teasing your clit. "Oh, fuck!" You nearly shout, your thighs aching as you continue to fuck yourself onto him every chance you get. "You're a noisy little thing aren't you?" Jake grunts with every thrust, his hips beginning to falter.

You respond with an involuntary high-pitched moan, rolling your hips against his fingers. The fire inside you grows, flames dancing throughout your body and spreading to every limb. It's clear he loved to hear you, fucking harder into you with every peep from your mouth.

It felt almost as if he was made for you. As if he'd fucked you a thousand times before. You don't know if you could live without it after tonight.

Your eyes rolled back into your head, choked moans and squeals flowing freely from your lips. "You're so fucking hot," Jake rasps "so fucking warm and tight around my cock baby."

At this point you know you won't last much longer, the fire burning inside you beginning to violently dance around every inch of your body and the coil in your tummy tightening. "Jake I'm gonna-" you interrupt yourself with a near shriek, completely blocking out your surroundings and focusing on nothing but Jake.

"You gonna cum, pretty? You gonna make a mess all over my cock?" He struggles to get the sentence out, his cock ramming so far into you it's nearly touching your cervix. "Yes. I'm so close..." It's getting harder and harder for you to breathe, Jake's hand keeping still against your throat.

"Fuck- cum for me, baby. C'mon," Jake coos, his hand rubbing rough, merciless circles into your clit as his cock hits a sweet spot with each and every thrust.

He feels like pure heaven, the sinful way he fucks so hard into you driving you straight to the edge. Your eyes clamp shut as you feel your orgasm creep up "fuck! Oh my god, fuck me." Suddenly, like harsh waves crashing against a shore, your orgasm fully takes over.

"That's it, baby. Fuck. Cum for me, just like that," Jake groans, delivering one final sharp thrust before his hot release spurts into you, painting your walls in ivory slick.

Jake's got you reduced to nothing but a whimpering, panting mess, and you love it.

It takes you a moment to come back to earth, Jake's cock still buried deep inside you. "You're such a good girl," his hands leave their place, coming to rest on the swell of your ass. You try to respond, but nothing comes out.

Jake lifts a hand and forces it down against your ass, the pads of his fingers massaging the supple flesh. A loud yelp flies last your lips at the contact, your body jutting forward.

"M'gonna pull out, okay?" He smooths his hand over the red skin of the back of your thighs, soothing the sting. You manage to mumble out an 'okay', clamping your eyes shut and practically holding your breath.

Sucking in a hiss, he pulls out, juices immediately dripping down your thigh. His hands grasp your waist, spinning you around to face him. "Touch yourself. Clean yourself up for me."

Your eyes blow wide at the command, but you do as he says anyway. Your clit is still wildly overstimulated, a whimper leaving your mouth at the slightest touch. You collect juices with your fingers, painfully spreading them all around your core.

"Jake I- I can't," you whine, your knees buckling as you press your fingers against your clit, your other arm grasping at the back of his neck for support. "Yes, you can. C'mon, be a good little slut," he presses, coming down to lay open-mouth kisses against your neck.

A cry leaves your lips, that same fire sparking again as you shove two fingers inside your entrance. Jake grabs your arm, pulling your fingers from yourself and bringing it to his lips. Slowly, he takes them into his mouth, his saliva cleaning the juices completely off your fingers.

"So fucking good. Now get on your knees," Jake demands "lick it off."

Again, you do as he says, sinking to your knees and grasping the base of his cock. You drag your tongue along his length from base to tip, licking every inch and making sure you got every last drop. "Atta girl."

Jake slowly helps you up, pressing your back against the tree and smashing his lips against yours. "Does it taste good baby?" Jake growls between kisses, massaging his fingers into your scalp. "Mhm," you whine, your arms wrapping around his body before he pulls back completely.

The two of you simply just look into each other's faces, breathing in the sweet taste and smell of sex that lingers in the air. "Let me take you home."

You simply just nod, Jake pulling his clothes back on as you grab your heels and slide your damp panties off your body. "So.. how does this work?"

"What?" Jake looks to you as the two of you begin walking back to the party.

"The whole... Vampire.. thing..." You trail off, looking down at the leaves crunching beneath both of your feet. You hear him chuckle to himself, amused by your curiosity.

"Y'know it's crazy how much people get wrong," he takes your hand in his "it's not a big deal, really. But if I go too long without specific needs, it could hurt me."

The two of you reach the entrance of the forest, street lights flickering along the road. When you look at him, he looks a lot more alive, significantly less tired and sick than earlier. "So... what, you feed with blood? That's kinda.. basic."

"Something like that, yeah. That and sex, basically," Jake laughs through his words, inching closer and closer to the party. "Sex?" You giggle, looking at him. "Yeah.. is something wrong with that?"

The two of you reach his car "No... I just didn't expect it." Jake opens the door for you, letting you slip in before shutting it and rounding the car to get in the driver's side.

"It's basically like.. energy feeding? It's hard to explain."

---

"So you don't turn to dust in the sunlight?" You both laugh. "No. I don't even know where that came from.."

Jake's car slows to a stop "This it?" Apparently, you'd lost track of time because as you look out your window, you see your house. "Mhm," you get out of the car, walking up to the steps of your home and letting Jake meet you there.

He pulls you into a kiss "I hope you had fun tonight, darling." A large smile finds its way on your face "I did."

"Hey, uh... How can I see you again?"

"I was hoping you'd say that." Jake reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a piece of paper with his number already on it, and holding it out to you with a smile "Call me when you get lonely."

.

.

.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Oh this is going to hurt... a lot.

I should be worried if the first thing I do after an episode isn't open Photoshop. Normally, I would now recall the best scenes of the series and decide on a set… But not today, even though I have the time. I once wrote that when a series can no longer catch me, you can tell by the fact that I stop making gifs… Okay, sometimes I just don't have the time. But today… I wouldn't even know which scene to choose, because there was nothing that got me, nothing that excited me and nothing that I felt emotional connected to. Instead, I have a lot of thoughts in my head that all want to get out somehow.

After the over-emotionalization of the last episode, I had actually already given up on Last Twilight. And that really hurts to admit. I loved the series from the very first second and I just thought it was so good! The problem for me was that they tried to just touch the audience's tear triggers, their emotions, all of them. And they forgot that too much of a good thing is simply not good. For me, episode 11 was right on the edge of what was bearable and I still don't think Day did the "right" thing. You're allowed to argue in a relationship and hold different opinions and then talk about why you hold a certain point of view, for example. If the other person can't deal with it, if you can't find a compromise, then you have to take the consequences, yes. But that wasn't even done here.

Day insinuated that Mhok pitied him, didn't listen to Mhok's side and today we learn that Mhok really only felt pity? Really? And that he is happy Day broke up with him so he could grow? Really? That is so fucking stupid. Day has problems with pity, that's understood and ok, but it's also ok for Mhok to make his own priorities in life and decide for himself not to want to leave, but to stay with the person he loves. But Day took that decision away from him. They could have talked about it. Different perspectives can also make a big difference. But no. Day pushes Mhok away and Mhok lies to Day… But back to tonight's episode. I was actually done with last week (yeah nope, I know). You can see that they tried to find a highly emotional ending that everyone seems to agree with and can cry into their handkerchiefs. The number of fuck yous I hurled at my laptop today shows me that the trick didn't work on me. It was all so over-emotionalized that it just felt fabricated and fake. And that's so sad, because the show felt so fucking real until episode 10. And now it was a weird cliché-ridden cringe-fest.

Honestly, if I had been dumped like Mhok and then ignored for three years, the time I spend thinking about that person would be really wasted. I'd be so fucking angry (probably not anymore after three years, I just wouldn't care). But Mhok immediately starts flirting. They pick up where they left off, but there's three years and thousands of kilometers between them. Unrealistic for me. And then Mhok just carries on, whispering to Day about what's happening and what's going on and just acting like his boyfriend again, holding his hand, helping him get dressed, showing him where everything is. I was a bit surprised that he didn't feed him. And Day is confused and just smiles. I think as a viewer I was the only person who was angry at the end. There were no bad emotions. Nothing. And that felt so fucking wrong!

And then comes the wedding and talk of second chances and of course Day says no because he's too scared someone will take pity on him. Yeah, fuck man, shit happens. and Mhok can't or won't give up. An emotional chase begins and the bride and groom leave their own wedding for the two of them and I lost faith in everything. And of course the plane is gone and of course they're all checked in because the passport was scanned and of course Mhok turned around and went back and of course he clued Night in and of course they end up doing the same dance they did back then and of course the family watches them get back together. And of course the series ends with a bunch of sugary sweet scenes from "call me mom" to sunset and let's repeat this most beautiful and heartbreaking moment from the past epsiode without any emotional impact. It was so predictable and so, I'm sorry, so bad. I'm so angry! And of course he gets his sight back. After all, what kind of a message would it be if Day remained blind? Is that possible? That a blind protagonist can find happiness and love and lead a successful life? No, it's not possible. He has to be able to see again. He has to become normal again in order to lead a normal life. What a shitty message! Damn!

Sometimes less really is more. Not everything has to be perfect and normal. At least that's the lesson I thought I should learn from this series.

If anyone has any gif requests, my inbox is open, but I don't think I'll be making any on my own. At least not today and not with this anger in my stomach.

[pacing-er]

Krakoa Era Reading List Cherik Version (part 6)

17. Immoral X-Men, Storm and the Brotherhood, Nightcrawlers

All Sinister stuff, tbh I lost interest pretty fast when I found out that Charles wasn't going to have a big part in it all. Each title has 3 issues, skipping forward 10 years, then 100 years, then 1000 years. I think some characters from future timelines shown in House of X Powers of X are shown, which is cool I guess. It's all pretty complicated but basically Sinister creates this timeline where everyone has a bit of his personality quirks and the mutants quickly take over the earth. There are small factions of resistance which fight against the odds to take down the sinisterified mutants, including Sinister himself who hates living amongst a bunch of Sinisters who won't listen to him. He instantly regretted creating this timeline and tried to kill one of his Moira clones to reset it, only to find that they all had been stolen by Destiny. Cue 1000 years worth of hijinks and plotting. I did find the subtle changes in the characters with the Sinister infection to be interesting, since they retain their primary personality traits but with looser morals.

This is one of the few Cherik crumbs we got 😭😭😭 it's a pretty good one though! He's hardly in these issues at all, but I also liked this Charles scene:

Evil softie 🥰

18. Sins of Sinister: Dominion

Direct continuation of the previous issues, but with more Xavier this time! It's cool to see how much of a threat he still is after 1000 years. Also we get this cute scene where an Arakki replicates Erik's helmet, which shocks Charles enough to catch him off guard. 1000 years since Magneto died and man is STILL pining XD

It ends with a timeline reset, puts us back at the end of Immortal X-Men #9. The key change is that now Sinister knows about the newest danger to mutant kind but his warnings fall on deaf ears, until Mother Righteous (another sister clone but different ig) intervenes and informs them of everything that has happened in the previous timeline. The council is compromised by Sinisters DNA, and the four affected by it are to be sent into the pit including Xavier.

19. Immortal X-Men (Issue #11-13)

Surprise! They aren't going into the pit after all. Worth noting that this is the point in time that X-Men Red issue #11 takes place during, in case anyone was wondering. That one had good Cherik bait. Whole lot of Quiet Council drama in this one, ending in an agreement to disband the council since they've all become too corrupt. They plan to announce it at the next Hellfire Gala, which Irene ominously predicts is a terrible mistake as Doug is dragged into the depths of Krakoa. This leads directly to The Hellfire Gala (2023). There are some good Charles scenes and he talks some more about missing Erik lmao poor guy!

20. X-Men Before the Fall - Sons of X

Big developments happen here. Mother Righteous reveals her goal to become a dominion, which she can only accomplish with the help of David's powers. With her assistance he is able to locate and save Nightcrawler, who was being held captive by Orchis. She kills the legionnaires and attempts to absorb David but David activates his fail safe and disappears, taking the (now empty) Altar with him. After resurrecting Nightcrawler's horns are gone but he is left emotionally damaged and decides to leave Krakoa. I thought David and Kurt's bond was sweet so I'm sad to see it go, though from some spoilers I saw this is not the end.

21. X-Men Before the Fall: Heralds of Apocalypse

Part of the post-sinister series of comics but Charles and Magneto aren't in it so I didn't read it and don't care. Apocalypse-centric.

Some good stuff in these ones! Finally we are at the Fall of X, I'm going to make that series of comics its own post. See the rest of my krakoa reading list under #krakoa era reading list

[hearts4werka]

Hello and please listen! (Im sorry to bother you about this again if you've seen this but we have a really bad ongoing problem.)

We have banned this guy two times but we cannot give up. He is a PEDO. I wanna fight for her because I am a fan.

His user is @ mykingisking !!! He's back.

if you don't know who or what has been happening, hes a grown adult man sexualizing a 16 year old actress named ariana greenblatt. In his very original account he has made lewd deepfakes of her or claims he has known her for years (parasocial relationship) which means he started finding her attractive when she was around 9-11.

PLEASE REPORT HIM AND SHARE. We CANNOT let him have a platform!!

Any interaction with this post to help spread the message is deeply appreciated!

જ⁀➴ I can’t believe he’s still here being a disgusting pedo, I wanna fucking throw up bc of him

Please go repost this account and we can’t let this man keep coming back here!

જ⁀➴ It doesn’t matter if you have a small platform or not a lot of followers, you can still help to spread the message by simply liking, commenting or rebloging this post for more people to see the message!

Thank you for listening everyone!

- 𝐁𝐲𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬!

[carrotpoet]

Multitudes and Considerations in Inherent Insanity

Everyone is a little scared that somewhere in the nauseous pit of their stomach or seeping out the pulling,

inching roots of their hair, that something is wrong, and that they are a little bit lunatic.

Actually, everyone is scared that they aren’t really a lunatic at all,

that they know something, and no one else does, but everyone fears them, or would fear them, that a whisper could unfurl that tightly wound rug and now you’ve done something—how could you?

You talk like your words hold all endings. I can hear it in your consonants and how you walk with the bugs on the floor. A certain type of withdrawn that feels less like hiding, pulling wool over eyes, and rather like suppression.

Everyone fears that everyone else is a lunatic.

The stranger in the eyes of your mother, the arms you’re wrapped in and how cobra tightly they could coil around your throat like hot rubber. Trusting the man on the sidewalk to stay a man on the sidewalk, as inconsequential and unknown as the starlight against him.

Everyone is a crowd, and everyone is a sweltering amorphous spotlight.

This means no one is listening. Sure. This is the logical and synchronous conclusion. We feed the tender doves their seed and they drown themselves in the lake. Infinite cycles of entropy: the Universal Oxymoron. Likewise, the earth holds your footprints and counts your breaths, the neighbor saw you dancing through the red curtains, etcetera. Time goes on and you are not individual, so nothing can happen to You and everything always does.

Dipping the fingers in candle wax, extend them in the shower to watch the sweet rain drip off the ends,

rake them through your hair and act like no one is watching. This is again, true and untrue. You live within a dance, it is sensual, deeply moving, and wholly inescapable.

You cried so hard one time you began to feel a strange fear

that your feelings would snare you, like an overextended joint, locking.

The impending invigoration before a fight, when your father told you your eyes would get stuck as a presumptuous 11 year-old. Staying up so late you shake. The concern is simple,

there is a point of no return and you can reach it.

You know you can reach it. And it feels like you’ll reach it right now. And everyone is watching.

Just a little further and you would’ve sunk the joint in its ball and you’d be stuck. And no one would come to save you.

Everyone is afraid of themselves and of you and can’t tell the difference, and everyone loves you because they are love and

the arm extends and cannot be told apart and you cannot tell why looking out of your car window feels like a spaceship and why

the itch down your throat feels a lot like the time your words went dry on stage and the only thing to catch you was everyone you couldn’t touch. Touch me now, extend your arm, break the seal or brush against it, become moonlight and let the old dog slumber, drift into me, tuck into me and let me have this dance. Please consider dancing.

[reinvent-and-believe]

Trick or Treat!!

57 Roy x Jamie :3

57. dating apps ☺️

—

11:21 p.m. lucky for you that’s exactly my type

Roy’s bored. It’s not like he just sits around answering messages from pictureless Grindr blokes, but he’s bored and he’s scrolling and he's horny and it’s not like a 25-year-old 5’10" toned vers bisexual sounds unappealing, necessarily, even if that’s all he’s got to go on.

11:23 p.m. What is?

11:23 p.m. your bio

Roy may have been a bit drunk when he set up his account the other night, so who the fuck knows. He flips to his profile and reads, “emotionally unavailable but I eat arse so there’s that.”

Right.

Roy Kent is not old, thank you very much, but in his day, you picked people up in a bar or at a party or after a match because fit, interested people tended to linger. Now there’s an app for that. Brave new fucking world.

He’d downloaded fucking bantr out of morbid curiosity, a few months after he broke things off with Keeley, and deleted it within 20 minutes. The problem with bantr is that the whole point is to make some deep, meaningful connection that’s based on more than just physical attraction. Roy already had that. He fucked it up. That’s the last thing he wants.

Grindr, though. That’s more his speed.

11:26 p.m. That so?

11:27 p.m. it is. everyone else on here just wants their dick sucked, man. where’s the creativity?

11:27 p.m. So it’s the creativity then, not the offer itself

11:28 p.m. listen mate, if you’re offering…

The photo suddenly gracing Roy’s phone has got to be the most perfect bum Roy’s ever seen, round and smooth and muscled and…yeah, Roy would fucking feast on that.

Wait.

Another picture comes through, another that shouldn’t be identifiable, no face, no visible tattoos, just a perfectly sculpted torso, left arm casually flexed with his hand cradled behind his neck. His right arm is strategically out of frame, other than the pretty, angular hand nicely framing a gorgeous cock straining against tight black pants.

Perfectly sculpted torso and casually flexed right arm and pretty, angular hand and gorgeous cock that all belong to Jamie Tartt.

There’s not the slightest sliver of doubt in his mind. Roy sculpted that body himself. It’s fucking Jamie, that perfect bicep from the new lifting routine, the tan from his trip to Brazil, the Orion’s Belt of freckles on his left pec.

Fuck.

11:33 p.m. speechless, yeah? you’re welcome

He should not fucking reply. He should close the app. Delete the conversation. Block Jamie’s profile. Delete his goddamn Grindr account.

11:35 p.m. You always this much of a cocky prick?

11:35 p.m. nah, way worse in person

11:35 p.m. you want it though, don’t ya?

11:36 p.m. can i see you?

Roy takes a breath. Don’t reply, close the app, delete the conversation, block the profile, delete the account. Lots of great options here.

Instead he takes a breath, pulls off his shirt, and snaps his own faceless torso picture. He glances at it just long enough to decide it’s good enough and sends it before he has time to think about it any harder.

He doesn’t know what outcome he’s hoping for here. Maybe Jamie isn’t as fucking deranged as Roy apparently is, maybe Jamie won’t immediately recognize some random hairy chest. Or maybe Jamie will know immediately, too. Maybe he’ll have the good fucking sense to do what Roy should have done and pretend this never happened.

Minute after agonizing minute ticks by, and Roy is a fucking idiot, why the fuck…

11:41 p.m. right

11:41 p.m. so you coming over now or do we have to wait til 4am?

Roy stares at the phone for a minute before typing a response, throwing his shirt back on, and grabbing his car keys.

11:42 p.m. On my way