#lilith labor

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple seed (Omake?)

So Charlie's labor proved to be... hellfire and brimstone.

Was Charlie's own birth anything like that?

Hey, Drenosa!

Charlie's birth? Oooooh.....

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Lilith: *devil horns and eyes glowing red as she screeches and spews fire out of her mouth to the ceiling* AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lucifer: H-Honey! Honey! Sugar Cube! *dodges a fireball* DUCK!!!

Unsuspecting Imp: Huh??? *gets grabbed around the throat and chucked out of St. Ans Hospital* Yaaah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!!!

[yourgirlsarchived]

If my muse delivers unmedicated or plans to, is there a specific birth position they have their baby in? (Standing, squatting, on all fours, etc.)

Thora, Elissa, Morrigan, Lilith

@marvariants | content warnings apply

Thora is a walker and then typically ends kneeling.

Elissa was talked into the birthing chair, which lasted an hour before she was standing. Alistair kept her steady and caught Duncan.

Morrigan was all fours.

Lilith has tried them all. She can't suggest one over the others because she finds them equally effective for her.

[blackbleedingrose]

Long Lost Morningstar - Part One

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing(s): Lucifer x daughter! reader x Lilith

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: Forced child abandonment

Notes: This is my first Hazbin mini fic. This will be a mini series, so there will be a part two but it may take a little while as I tend to get busy with work and school - so please, bare with me.

Words: 880

"No! No! Please!"

It's no surprise Lucifer and Lilith fooled around a bit during their days in the Garden of Eden.

What was surprising was the moment Lilith discovered she was pregnant.

Despite the shock and slight fear of being new parents, Lucifer and Lilith were overjoyed at the news.

When they found out the baby was going to be a girl, the two cried in pure happiness.

Lucifer became adamant, and a little overbearing, about doing everything for Lilith not wanting her to overwork herself or the baby. This did annoy Lilith (being the independent woman she was), but she knew he just wanted to make sure she and the baby were safe.

When Lilith went into labor, Lucifer went into full panic mode (imagine that one scene from The Office)

Lucifer: *freaking out* "OMG! IT'S HAPPENING! DON'T PANIC, HONEY!

Lilith: *calmly packing the hospital bags*

Lucifer may have passed out during the delivery when his curiosity got the best of him and decided to see what was going on down there (I imagine seraphim's or angels born in Heaven aren't born the natural way and instead created through magic).

Lucifer woke up from the sounds of crying and when he came to he saw a tiny body being carried by one of the nurses.

After rejoining Lilith's side (and making sure she was okay while profusely apologizing for passing out) they waited for the nurses to clean up the baby.

The moment the two saw one of the nurses bring over a pink bundle, their hearts filled with unbridled love and joy.

She was so small and had tuffs of blonde hair. She had Lucifer's red cheek circle's and Lilith's eyes.

Lucifer's eyes welled up with tears as he lovingly gazed down at the tiny person in his lover's arms. "She's perfect, Lily".

Lilith agreed with happy tears as she laid a gentle kiss on their daughter's head.

The two named her (Y/N) - (Y/N) Morningstar.

(Y/N) was a lively baby who adopted her father's bubbly and curious personality, as well as his love for ducks.

Her first toy was a duck plushie Lucifer had made himself.

However, despite having everything they could want in the Garden, Heaven, and now their new baby - they wanted something more.

They wanted to share free will with humanity in hopes that Heaven would finally see Lucifer's ideas and change their suffocating rules so (Y/N) could live in a world that wouldn't stifle any of her future dreams.

This lead them to tempt Eve with the apple, causing the unfortunate chain of events that lead to Lucifer and Lilith's trial.

The two were found guilty of bringing evil into humanity and as punishment they would be sent down into Hell.

However, before they sent the family into eternal damnation Heaven decided (Y/N) was innocent as she was only a baby who knew not what her parents had done.

Being a child of a seraphim and one of humanities first human's, they saw potential in her for Heaven's future - so they decided (Y/N) would stay in Heaven while Lucifer and Lilith would go down to Hell.

"Take the child," Sera ordered one of the court angels. "No! No! Please!" Lucifer and Lilith begged with tears falling down their faces as they held (Y/N) closer to them. The court angels forced the wailing (Y/N) out of her crying parents arms.

That was the last time Lucifer and Lilith saw their daugther before being banished to Hell for all eternity.

To keep (Y/N) from discovering her true lineage, Heaven decided that Lucifer's twin brother, Michael, would claim to be her father and raise her as a role model seraphim - one that follows Heaven's rules.

As (Y/N) grew up it became increasingly obvious how much she took after her parents. She had Lucifer's curious and cheerful nature, and Lilith's eyes, long blonde hair, and grace - both her parents beauty present in her features. The perfect combination of the two.

She especially adopted Lucifer's six large wings, only they had a pink under surface and gold tips.

To bypass any questions of her mother, Michael told her that he had created her from stardust with both his and Lilith's likeness - only using Lilith as a reference for a female.

Michael made sure her curious nature didn't go as far as Lucifer's, keeping her busy with her education and where he can keep an eye on her.

To keep her in check he told her about Lucifer and Lilith, but that they were her uncle and aunt who had lost their way and fallen from grace.

When she entered into adulthood, Heaven decided it was time for her to bear more serious responsibilities.

That's how (Y/N) Morningstar Demiurgos became one of Heaven's trial record keepers/recorders (she sometimes sits in trials and writes what's being said for the records).

It was mainly because Michael wanted to her to have a busy office job and away from exploring and getting too curious (he hoped being in trials would satisfy her curiosity, but made sure to keep her from asking too many questions).

And for awhile everything was perfect and in Heaven's favor. . .

. . .Until a certain Princess of Hell came to Heaven with a dream.

[bloogers-boogers]

So I decided to put much more thought in this >> (previous)

And I finally came out with a story, I figured I probably written that it was Lilith who asked for a distraction but then I was like?? Meh. So I went for the idea of Eve abandoning Adam for 'freedom' aka (a better life Lucifer promised the humans to have).

When Eve abandoned Adam they had just had Cain. She didn't take Cain cause she knew the angels would go after her (them) and do everything in their power to get him back, and the fact that Adam refused to go with her just made her give up on trying, deciding to leave with Lilith and Lucifer. This of course hurt Adam, feeling absolutely betrayed.

So at this point the only one who is still in the garden is Adam, they tried tricking him into bitting the apple but he didn't fell into this apple idea like Eve did. He knew better he would NOT put his son at risk for the possibility of having 'more'. He was content with his life in the garden just like he was happy with his son.

However one dreadful night Eve snuck back in the garden behind Lucifer and Lilith's back, in a desperate attempt to have her family back she grabbed a apple and forced it into Adam's mouth while he was sleeping.

Adam began chocking, somehow Lucifer and Lilith had a bad feeling when they didn't find Eve laying next to them when they had woken up in the middle of the night. So they ran to the garden and when they arrive they find Adam chocking on the apple of knowledge as Eve held tight on a crying Cain not knowing what to do.

Lucifer in a panic flipped Adam to his stomach, hitting his back constantly making the man try to spit the piece out as he tried grasping for air in his lungs. He saves him.

And all of this incident lead them to be punishment, but considering neither of the women and Lucifer had bitten the apple they were forced to do labor instead, punishing them to live in the garden (they had been living outside the garden). However Adam was forced banishment for being tainted. Cain was initially put into trial on what to do with him, if to give him to the second woman or leave him to the first man. At the end, they decided for the baby to pick ("he is innocent in all of this we shall let him decide, it's the least we could do"). Being in his mother's arms he cried loudly as if he were being tortured and when he was held by his father the cries cease as he was put in slumber nuzzling his father. The answer was obvious.

Considering Adam was forced to eat the apple he was given supplies, food, shelter and to fend for himself and his son in the wild. This made things easier to bear life outside the garden, however Adam was resentful to his wives and Lucifer for what they did to him.

Two archangels now protected the tree of knowledge (Gabriel and Michael), so it made it difficult for the rest to grab the fruit. For a long period, probably a few months after that incident, Eve began missing Cain (she was resentful of Adam for taking him away) so she made a plan with Lucifer and Lilith to retrieve him back to the garden. (At this point the three wanted out, and were already planning to rebel themselves against heaven knowingly it could lead them to falling. But Eve refused to go without Cain).

So the plan involved in dividing themselves in a group of two. They picked Lucifer to do the hard part which was to sneak out of the garden and venture earth to find Adam, grab Cain and rush back to the garden before any angel notices Lucifer's absence. While Lilith and Eve try finding a way to distract the archangels that guarded the tree of knowledge and snatch a apple from the tree.

Everything went well when it came to Lucifer tracking down Adam and escaping Eden but it all went badly when he was caught snatching Cain and running with him in his arms from a pissed off (bear mode) Adam.

So yeah. That's all I got for now. Honestly I just like the idea of Adam telling Lucifer "tell Eve, she picked her choice and I was forced to do mine!"

Calling this au "ForcedApple" or "Father" i really dunno

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Lucifer who falls for a hell born reader who’s maybe a hell hound who works at the hotel for free as long as she’s helping; hcs please.

I don't watch Helluva Boss but I do have a vague understanding of Hellhounds in this universe so... I'll try my best :) Again I altered the idea a little bit but I hope you still like it.

Edit: The note is outdated as now I do watch Helluva Boss. It's good, ignore past me.

Yandere! Lucifer with Hellhound! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Unhealthy power dynamic, Manipulation, Degrading behavior (You're called a good girl due to being a Hound, idk if it counts), Possessive/Protective behavior, Delusional behavior, Clingy behavior, Possible kidnapping, Dubious relationship/companionship.

Alright, according to my research, Hellhounds are Hellborn who rank under Imps.

They are bottom of the ladder Demons who are used for labor, pets, or guards of some sort.

Hellborn are unable to be redeemed, as a result they don't typically bother with the Hotel.

However... Here's my idea.

You were originally some sort of nanny or guard for Charlie.

Either Lucifer or Lilith had appointed you, a Hellhound, to care for Charlie when they can't.

This resulted in you staying at the Hotel with Charlie.

The Hotel is a home to you, plus you care for Charlie and help in any way you can.

Lucifer's obsession wouldn't start until he visits the Hotel.

He knows about you, the Hellhound that was taken in because his daughter saw you and got so damn excited.

You had no home, so Charlie's parents allowed you in.

You were so nice with his little girl.

You were an adult female Hellhound who left the Gluttony Ring to find a job in the Pride Ring.

Upon being offered the job of guard and caretaker by Lucifer/Lilith, you take it gratefully.

Since then you'd been caring for Charlie, a loyal servant and guard dog.

The last time Lucifer saw you was when Lilith took Charlie.

Being the ever loyal hound you were, you followed them obediently and left Lucifer alone.

When Lucifer enters the Hotel, he is surprised to be greeted by you.

You're surprised to see him and smell his familiar scent, but you bow and lead him inside.

It... caused Lucifer to smile upon realizing someone does still care.

"There's no need for the bow, girl... we can be casual. Now, how's Charlie? Been treating her well?"

Lucifer wasn't expecting to be so happy when seeing you again.

Maybe it's the depression and the fact his wife left him.

For some reason... he feels a bit attached to you.

Even more so when he sees how loyal you are toward Charlie, often protecting her and receiving pats on your head.

It feels a bit strange for him... but he does think he's falling in love again in some way.

Lucifer probably just yearns for companionship of any kind.

Be that platonic love or romantic love.

You've always been such a big help for him and his family since they took you in.

I mean... you already parent Charlie more than him at times.

Lucifer is noticeably awkward when he tries to reconnect and speak with anyone in the Hotel.

However, he seems to talk fine with you for the most part, often asking about Charlie and how you've been throughout the years, you got your Hellbies shot, right?

Lucifer has trouble understanding his feelings towards you, he may even be a bit delusional.

Yet... he seems rather intent on getting closer to you since he entered the Hotel.

Now, here's where I'm just going to talk little HCs of Lucifer with a Hellhound! Darling.

He definitely would call you a "good girl".

That along with petting you or calling you into his lap.

Lucifer would give you a kiss on the forehead and often just likes holding you to feel your soft fur.

I imagine he's possessive of your attention at times due to feeling neglected by those he loves.

Lucifer may make you rubber duckies as gifts.

He's also asking about you with Charlie since he thinks out of anyone Charlie knows you best.

Definitely thinks you also love him just as much, even if you just see him as a master or some sort more than a partner.

If he's jealous or irritated with something, you calm him down by jumping in his lap and licking his face.

It shocks him for a moment, even if he knows that's just how Hellhounds show affection, but soon it just melts him.

I prefer a dubious pairing in this, but you can see him with a Hellhound darling in either way as you're a guard to Charlie.

He may also be protective since you're such a precious person to him.

With Lucifer... he plans to not make you feel like you're low on Hell's hierarchy.

You're not just a peasant to him.

You're his Hellhound, his good girl who has always been loyal...

Unlike others he's loved....

You aren't a pet to him, although some Hellhounds are often seen that way.

You're someone he sees as family of some kind, you make him and his daughter happy.

You always have...

Which is why he doesn't like the idea of letting you go.

You're loyal to Charlie but respect Lucifer.

Loyal to the point of never leaving the Hotel...

But... what if he ordered you to?

What if he asked Charlie to let him borrow you for company.

He promises you it's okay to part from Charlie for a bit.

He'll return you to the Hotel in due time (He won't).

Lucifer doesn't want to be alone again right now...

You'll be a good girl and listen to your master, yeah?

"The pets feel nice, don't they? There's my loyal girl... missed you so much...! Don't worry about Charlie, she's a big girl now. You've done your part. Just worry about me... alright? Don't need you to go back to the Hotel right now... just need you here with me!"

[bitchin-tubs]

I actually don’t mind the hell’s aesthetic of the show being a chaotic cities and towns but the question remains as why? Has hell always reflected the human’s world? Was it something they integrated later on in existence? Why are there jails and police in hell?

For my rewrite the answer is that Lucifer, being the fallen Angel who always craved a familiarity with humans, has always being infatuated with their silly traditions and systems. So as the ruler of Hell he basically molded it to his will so he could have what he couldn’t in Heaven, a human world of his making in which he is worshipped first and close to them second.

Lucifer has a conflicting relationship to humanity, fascinated by their nature but also jealous of their free will and their importance to God. So while he desires to live as one of them, he also wants to punish them. Creating a Capitalist Hellscape in which he’s the immovable market giant and everyone has to live an eternity of labor and consumerism.

Tying in Octavia calling LooLoo Land a cheap rip-off of LuLu Land, the far more lucrative and popular theme park.

However, Lucifer had to give sinners a systematic advantage in order for them to actually participate in the economy and worship him as a brand/entrepreneur/leader/“god”, raising them to middle class with No acknowledgement of the hellborn left behind.

On the other hand, Lilith is far more traditional, initially “ruling” Hell by creating creatures made for violence and torture hence why hellborn are naturally predisponed to savage behaviors. At the same time, she’s not a caring mother (unless for Charlie), before Lucifer Lilith only knew rage and indifference which is why she doesn’t advocate for her creation’s wellbeing because being forgotten for as long as she was, she grew apathetic and only what directly affects her is of importance. Though she does misses the simpler days when it’s was just her, Lucifer and the caos around them.

[faun-the-fawn77]

"𝕃𝕀ℙ𝕊 𝕆𝔽 𝔸ℕ 𝔸ℕ𝔾𝔼𝕃"

Lucifer Morningstar x F!Angel!Reader

Genre: fluff and angst

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, fluff so sweet it'll hurt your teeth, ooc(?) Lucifer, reader hates Lilith, Lilith is a bitch, and so is Michael

Part Two

Desc: When Lucifer Fell, it wasn't because of his ideals or that he "fell in love" with Lilith OR that he tempted Eve with the Apple. Lilith was poison from the start and manipulated him into giving Eve the apple. He was devoted to one person in creation and that was his wife, Y/N. He was devastated when he Fell and when Lilith told him that Y/N couldn't love him anymore? That broke him. After years of no contact with Heaven, Lucifer let his daughter, Charlie, attend one of the meetings with Heaven for him. What Charlie didn't expect was for her fathers ex(?)lover to be there with Adam and Lute. Or that Charlie would learn more about her mother. She made sure her father would get back in contact with his long lost love. Lucifer got a phone call that night from someone... in Heaven? Now who could that be?

Note: Sorry for the long description but like- I need you guys to have context for my stories, especially song fics. I want to jump right into the music and writing so you guys will be getting extended summaries. Hope you stick around!

Another note: Poll at bottom once ur done reading! be sure to read the note at the end:)

Honey, why you calling me so late?

It’s kinda hard to talk right now

Honey, why you crying, is everything okay?

I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud

The abrupt sound of “Highway To Hell” By AC/DC ringing out into the night is what woke the Devil from his slumber. He patted around the black wooden night stand for the loud contraption. His bleary eyes wincing at the brightness of the screen, he saw that the beginning of the number starts with (444). Squinting his eyes, he ran a clawed hand through his bed head and sat up. Glancing back at Lilith and then at the number from Heaven, he sighed and slipped his robe on, stumbling out the door and into his study. 

“What in the unholy Hell is someone from Heaven calling me for…” He hesitated for a second before swiping up and answering the call. 

There was no sound on the other end for a while before Lucifer growled and gripped his phone tighter, “If this is some kinda prank then I won’t hesitate to-” 

“Luci..?”

Lucifer held his breath. His mind raced a mile a minute once that voice came through the line. He closed his eyes shut to prevent the onslaught of tears to fall from his red eyes.

“Luci…please.” His breathing picked up. This wasn’t real. Some fucked up motherfucker was playing some sorta sick prank on him. There’s no way his wi- Ex…wife was calling him. Him! He went to hang up, thumb hovering over the red button when that gentle voice came through again, “Luci, it’s really me. Please don’t go…”

Lucifer bit his lip. He let out a shaky breath and brought the phone to his pointed ear. The sound of her labored breathing could be heard, like she was trying to not cry. 

“Y/N/N? Is…is this really you?” Sniffles were heard from the other end before soft laughter followed. Lucifer fell down into the loveseat near the window in his study. 

“Yes Luci, it’s really me.” The sound of his wife’s voice made Lucifer melt into the loveseat. It’s been eons since he’s heard her voice… and now he wants nothing more than to see her. To feel her. Hug her. Do everything with her.

“Honey, why’re you calling so late? Can’t you see the stars right now?” A sound came from Lucifer and Lilith’s shared room which caused the little Devil to silence himself before speaking again in a whisper, “It’s kinda hard to talk right now. Sorry, honey.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before whimpers and sniffles sounded on the other end. Y/N was crying. His darling wife was upset. 

Not knowing what to do at that point of time, Lucifer shushed her gently, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here. Is everything okay, honey? Why’re you crying?” Lucifer clutched his phone tightly. His eyes watered up at the thought of not being able to hold onto her. 

“I miss you, Luci. I miss you so much!” Her voice echoed in the study room. Lucifer pulled his phone away to listen, in case Lilith woke up from the noise. He put his phone back to his ear with a smile.

“I miss you too, darling. I’m sorry for being so quiet. I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud at the moment.” Y/N hummed and he could hear the smile on her lips.

“Is it because of Charlie? Oh she is such a sweetie! Her and I-”

“Charlie? You met- How’d you meet Charlie?” Lucifer couldn’t fathom how his sweet apple met with his angelic wife. Y/N couldn't leave Heaven. After he Fell, he had heard from Adam that they kept Y/N on a tight leash to make sure she wouldn’t follow after him. 

“Oh! Said she had a meeting with Heaven! Said she and her wonderful girlfriend were sent by you to represent you!” That’s when it clicked. He had that phone call from Charlie a while back about wanting to go to Heaven to talk about her hotel to the higher-ups. Lucifer got her into Heaven that day. What he didn’t realise is that Charlie had a chance at meeting his wife. Or was she considered his ex? They never officially divorced and he and Lilith never married…

“Her idea is brilliant by the way,” Y/N whispered softly. This caught him by surprise. Surprise because he thought that his brother, Michael, would’ve brain washed her into thinking he was the bad guy. That he was evil incarnate.

“You…support it? Her dream?” Lucifer felt like shit. All this time, after hearing nonstop from his daughter about her hotel and plan, it took him getting a call from his wife to make him realize how shitty of a father he was. 

“I do.”

And that struck him in the heart. It was her first encounter with Charlie and she already supported her. Lucifer held a breath and released it after a few seconds. 

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really move on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

“It’s not because of Charlie…is it.” Lucifer perked up. 

“What?”

“The reason you have to be quiet.” Lucifer stilled. 

Lucifer couldn’t speak. The tone of voice Y/N had made him shiver. She sounded…numb. Empty. He knew then that she was referring to Lilith.

“She’s in the next room. She doesn’t know…” Lucifer couldn’t finish. He already hated this topic. Lilith was what caused this. Lucifer took a breath and whispered out, “I wish she was you, Y/N.”

He never moved on from Y/N. She was his everything. She will always be his one and only. His light. His angel. 

It was silent. Too silent. Lucifer chewed on his bottom lip with anxiousness. He knew when Y/N was upset and right now? Very upset. He remembered the first argument they had. Lucifer went down to the garden to welcome the two new humans his Father created. Adam was awed while Lilith had indifference. That intrigued Lucifer. Lucifer would talk to Adam about the stars while Lilith went off on her own to do whatever it is she does. One day, Lucifer followed after her. He found her in a flowering clearing with a pond. She was knelt next to it. Lucifer walked up to her and noticed that she was ripping the petals off the most beautiful of flowers.

“And why damage something with life that grew so beautifully?” Lilith looked up at the archangel and smirked. That should’ve been his first sign.

“They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?” Lucifer hesitated before shaking his head. That should’ve been the second.

“No! You are… very pretty.” Lucifer didn’t want to get on this human’s bad side, “but that is no reason to rip off the petals. Envy is a sin.”

Lilith cackled at the last quip. If Lucifer had caught it, he would’ve realised that she was evil incarnate, not him. 

When Lucifer returned to Heaven after visiting the humans, he bumped into his wife at the Golden Gates. Her arms were crossed and her rosy lips were set into frown. 

“What’s wrong, my star?” Lucifer reached out only for Y/N to swat away the appendage. She glared at him and in a high pitched voice, mimicked Lilith, “They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?”

Lucifer paled. He didn’t know she followed him down that day. He knew he was in the wrong. He should’ve stopped Lilith’s flirting. He should’ve stopped when he noticed how Lilith looked at him.

“Honey, I-”

“Save it. You should’ve known better, Lucifer. Women, even angelic ones like myself, are good at getting what we want.” Y/N walked off, back to their house. Lucifer felt terrible. He did know that. The angelic females in Heaven knew what they wanted and always got what they wanted, though what they wanted ranged from the sweetest things like new constellations or a new animal to be sent down to Earth that was of their own creation. 

“Lucifer, I di-”

“It’s really good to hear your voice, sweetheart. I can’t get enough of you saying my name again, even if we’re on a topic that upsets you,” Lucifer admitted. He could hear his wife choke a bit before giggling. 

“Oh yeah?”

Lucifer smirked, “Oh yes. Especially since they’re coming from the lips of a beautiful angel.”

He could hear her stuttering on the other end. He was proud of himself that he still had that effect on her. He was always the charismatic one. She was always the kind one. 

“I bet, Luci, that you’re still just as handsome as when you were here.” Lucifer felt his already reddened cheeks heat up more. Since when did his cute, shy, and sweet wife have this side to her?

“Hells, hearing you say that really makes me weak in the knees, sweetheart,” Lucifer groaned. His heart was beating faster and he felt his hands get clammy. He wanted her badly. 

Bed squeaking could be heard in the next room over which caused Lucifer to shut up. He waited with bated breath for the sound of footsteps but none ever came. He released the breath he was holding, running his claws through his tousled blonde hair. 

“I never wanna say goodbye, Luci,” Y/N’s voice sounded suddenly. Lucifer smiled. He never wanted this phone call to end either. He knew that next time there was a meeting with Heaven, he was going. 

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight

And, yes, I’ve dreamt of you too

And does he know you’re talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don’t think she has a clue

Lucifer chuckled to himself. Something in himself thinks this is all a dream. That it’s not real. I mean, talking to his wife? He feels like he’s walking on clouds again.

“What’s so funny, mister?” And Hells, he’d never tire of her voice. 

“It’s just funny to me that I got a phone call from you of all angels. That you actually called after everything that happened…” Lucifer leaned back in the seat. His eyes shut and he rested his free hand over his eyes.

“Luci, I never believed Michael’s lies.” Lucifer sat up. His grip tightened on the black hellphone. 

“Never..? But I was told…”

“Whatever you were told was a lie. Lilith is a lying, manipulating bitch. When I saw her in the Garden with you I almost lost my cool. Do you know why she was so flirty? It’s because she saw me and wanted to piss me off. It worked, I’ll give her that.” Lucifer was stunned. Lilith knew? Y/N knew? Then why…

“I never told you because I wanted you to figure it out. I wanted you to realise how toxic she was. That she was using you to get to me. She knew you were the angel everyone talked about and wanted. And she wanted what others couldn’t have.” Lucifer felt that flicker of anger in his heart burst forth. His horns grew and his tail swished around angrily. His breathing was heavy. He wanted to storm into his bedroom and rid that piece of filth from existence!

“Luci! Don’t do anything yet…I have a plan.”

Lucifer settled down and sat back in the loveseat. He used his tail to hold the phone to his ear and clenched his fists to hold back the anger.

“What plan?”

“I can’t say right now… someone is listening.” Her voice lowered at the end. Lucifer understood that she was being watched so he kept his cool and changed topics. 

“You know…I’ve been dreaming of you. Every night since I fell.” Lucifer looked out the window of his study to see the blood red sky. The sight of Heaven made him sad. He wanted so badly to be up there with her once again.

“I’ve dreamt of you too, my light bringer.” Her voice was sweet. It was like honey and vanilla. Lucifer smiled. He could listen to her talk all day. Did he say that twice? Oh well, he was whipped.

“Does he… does Michael know you’re talking to me right now?” Lucifer almost regretted that question. 

“No, he doesn’t. He will when my plan goes through, though.” Lucifer smirked. He couldn’t wait to hear what his brother does when he learns that Y/N was talking to the Devil. He could already picture the steam blowing out his ears.

“And you’re positive that that witch doesn’t know that you are talking to me right now?” Lucifer chuckled at his wife’s bitterness at the mere mention of Lilith. 

“No, she doesn’t. She’s honestly a heavy sleeper.” Y/N hummed. That bit of info made her plan easier. 

“I want to talk more about Charlie! She’s just so sweet and she reminds me so much of you, hon.” Lucifer leaned forward in his seat and both started talking about the sweet creature that was Charlie Morningstar.

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

That was my first attempt at writing Lucifer and i might have made him a bit to sweet? idk i personally think he'd be supper sweet to wife reader after everything that happened.

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!!!!

also: if you want a part two... VOTE! I wanna expand on this universe a bit so I'll need to find songs to match. Music is my love so almost all my fics will involve music someway or another:)

[libby-for-life]

So, can you do a sick one-shot with Adam and Lucifer? Maybe Adam has a fever and Lucifer reluctantly takes care of him. But then he starts to hallucinate things. Stuff that makes Lucifer question things about what he believes.

Oh? A challenge, hu? Since you didn't specify if this was my version of Adamsapple, I'm just going to assume that this is more traditional Adamsapple and go from there.

Sinner!Adam under contract with Lucifer.

Lucifer stood before Charlie with a sigh, feeling irritated. "Are you telling me that there isn't anyone else who can take care of him? I don't have time to deal with a whiney brat who is probably faking all this just to get attention," he grumbled. The devil was not convinced that Adam was genuinely sick. He wouldn't put it past him to fake it to receive special treatment.

Charlie replied, "Normally, I would take care of it, but I have a lot of paperwork to deal with." She gestured towards her desk, which was piled high with papers, making Lucifer wince. "Vaggie is busy with Niffty, Angel Dust and Husk are working, and Alastor is not an... option."

Lucifer shivered at the thought of Alastor taking care of Adam. The devil was under contract to protect the idiot from harm, but it would end badly for Adam if Alastor was involved. "Alright, I'll do it," he said, resigned.

"Thank you, Dad!" Charlie beamed at him, making him feel a little better. Teleporting to Adam's room, Lucifer hoped to catch him in the act of faking it but found himself in a dark room with the curtains drawn. The only thing he could see was a lump on Adam's bed.

Frustrated, the devil snapped his fingers, and the lights turned on. Adam let out a whimper, making Lucifer roll his eyes. "Oh, stop it. Nobody is buying this pity act," he said sternly.

When he got no reply, he growled again, "The hard way it is then." He stomped over to the sinner's bed and ripped the blankets off him. "Get up now!" Lucifer was done playing games. If Adam was going to continue acting this way, he didn't mind using force to beat some sense into him.

However, to his surprise, Adam didn't yell, swear, or even glare at him. Instead, he let out another whimper. This time, Lucifer actually looked at Adam and saw just how different he looked. His gray skin had an ashy color, his breath was labored, and his shirt was missing, revealing how sweaty he was. It was clear that Adam was genuinely sick.

Lucifer felt slightly guilty for making Adam uncomfortable when it was clear he was miserable with a fever.

Placing a hand on the sinner's forehead, he hissed at the heat. "Oh, you are sick, aren't you?" He murmured. "Alright, let's sit you up."

Soon, Adam was propped up on pillows, wrapped up in comfortable blankets, and looking at Lucifer with dazed eyes. The devil knew that the demon wasn't truly seeing him due to his sickness.

Gently draping a cool cloth onto Adam's forehead, he noticed how the sinner's eyes followed his every move.

"You're so beautiful...." Adam slurred.

Lucifer froze and looked at him confused. "Hu?" He must've been really out of it if he was complimenting him.

"Beautiful...so beautiful. I can see why she left me...I didn't stand a chance."

Lucifer grimaced when he realized that Adam must've been talking about Eden. Whether it was Eve or Lilith he was referring to was still being questioned in Lucifer's mind.

"Let's not waste your energy." Lucifer finally said.

Adam whimpered again but he continued talking. "Lilith was beautiful too...but she didn't like me...why did she not like me?"

"Maybe because you were a narcissistic dick who wanted to control her?" Lucifer said with a glare. Any kind of sympathy he had for the sinner was gone. How could Adam even ask that?!

Adam shook his head, clearly too out of it to understand that the devil was insulting him. "That's not what she said..." He slurred out. A look of sadness came over Adam and, to Lucifer's growing discomfort, looked like he was going to cry.

"She told me I was disgusting...that she didn't want to stand next to someone so ugly." Lucifer was too stunned to speak. What?

"She didn't like me talking. I talk too much. She liked to gag me when she couldn't stand the noise. It hurt...." Adam was now crying, big tears rolling down his chubby cheeks.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Lucifer immediately asked. If he hated how Lilith treated him, especially if it hurt, then why didn't he make her stop? Adam certainly never backed down from a fight. In fact, he was usually starting them.

"I wanted her to like me..." Adam replied with a groan. His breathing seemed labored. "If I did what she wanted...then she'll like me....even if it hurt. Even if it made me cry." Adam furrowed his eyebrows, his hazy eyes looking into the distance. "No...she didn't like me crying. She said it was annoying and ugly so I don't do it anymore." It was ironic with the tears streaming down his face.

Adam turned his golden eyes to the devil who flinched at the devastating but resigned look on his face. "I guess I didn't do it good enough...she found someone better...someone smarter...."

A large hand cupped Lucifer's cheek. "Who can compete with angels?" And then he passed out. Lucifer didn't know that he was holding his breath until he started gasping. What the fuck?

[chuunai]

Please I’m begging for a baby daddy Sigma,I honestly see him as a girl dad or the possibly of the mother having twins and how he’ll be so gentle and curious.

yeah I needed this too.

✧˚ · . for the first time — sigma

His place in the world is solidified by two mini hims.

summary ⋆ ★ comfort, fluff, established relationship (marriage with reader), SFW → babies —> babies —> babies

Sigma’s origins were unordinary.

His ‘birth’ was the moments his eyes opened to that desert of nothing but pockets of sand. Only a ticket with no real destination was clutched in his hands. There was no evidence of his family, life or being. He was just a man with nothing but the rags he wore. His first tastes of humanity were bitter and full of despair.

The first few months of his life could be summed up in three words.

Mundane, hazy and all too real.

It passed by a blur, but it never left his mind. His mind couldn’t remember much, but his body did. Oh, it remembered so much. The texture of sand under his feet as he walked for miles on end with no destination in sight. The sun burning him during the day and the moon freezing him during the night.

The endless cycle was all he knew back then.

It was better than the cycle he walked into next. The life of a dog. Grateful for the scraps his benefactors threw him, and eager to please them in return. He was used, manipulated and thrown away at the blink of an eye.

Nowadays, whenever he thought back to that period of time, Sigma felt shame. He was so naive and thankful for not even the bare minimum. He did so much for the sole reason of finding a home.

Home was an idea he desperately idolized. It was something everyone had. From birth, people had homes and a family. Sigma didn’t have the luxury of such a blessing. The universe tainted their fingers to make him, yet couldn’t even grant him with such a factor. There was no place in the world that he considered his home until the Sky Casino.

Sigma used to think that was his true home.

It was his life’s work—the lungs he breathed air into, the heart that kept his body going and his very being. He woke up there, and he ended his days there. That’s what a home was. The place where one felt the most comfort and safety.

It was a location. A specific part of the world that was his and his alone.

But then it became yours, too.

The day you entered his dim world was the day he found the real sun. You shone so brightly, your rays lighting up the area wherever you want.

He was mesmerized. Sigma thought you were an angel from the holy book Fyodor always spoke about. Were you there to cleanse him of his sins? To be the blessing the world had denied him for so long? He hoped. And he prayed.

Those fingers that had once done labor in the desert held yours when he slid the ring onto your finger that one fateful night. It’s also when he first learned that home could be a person too. That home was wherever you and him were, together. And the home only grew to grant him with more than he could ever hope for.

A family was unfamiliar to him.

But Sachiel and Lilith soon became his everything. His angels born from his angel spouse. It helped ease his acceptance of the fact that he too was a real human.

Could he have helped to create these children otherwise?

“Bah!”

The energetic coo from next to him snapped Sigma out of his nostalgia, his eyes looking down at Sachiel. The boy had inherited his lilac hair and soft eyes, and his heart swelled as he got out of his desk chair to cradle the baby to his chest.

He was gorgeous.

Pressing a careful kiss to his head, Sigma walked out of his study and made his way to the nursery. Just an hour ago you two had agreed to each take one of the twins to handle for some bonding time. But he just wanted to see you and his daughter. He was quite attached to his family.

From inside the nursery, he could hear Lilith’s giggles and babbles mixed with your voice.

Walking in slowly, he smiled at the sight of you holding a plush dragon and making up a story to the small child.

“…and the dragon spat out fire at the castle and roared! Grrr, grrrr-“

You stopped when you noticed Sigma’s presence and Sachiel squirming in his arms. He wished he hadn’t interrupted the moment now.

He sat down next to you quietly, letting Sachiel crawl over to his sister as the two began to play together.

Sigma was so curious about them.

What they’ll grow up to be, how they’ll live life. He hoped they’d be happy and healthy forever. He’d gladly gamble away the Sky Casino if it meant having a sure shot at providing for them.

He meant it, really.

For the first time, he understood what a family was.

yeah I’m sorry this took so long I’ve just been swamped with work lately TvT

Tags: @sinfulthoughtsposts, @twst-om-lover, @xxcandlelightxx

Specific Tags only for this Post: @gins-slave, @atheistbsd, @aikyouhosh1ka, @cvsmois, @dumpmh, @pinky-99, @little-gloub, @n0thum4ny, @starracoonagain, @ratt46, @luclue, @star-light18464, @minomikn

[writing-fanics]

| happiest I’ve ever been | Sebastian michaelis x f!reader

| summary: love between butler and his mistress and where they are now |

warning: implied smut : child birth :

She giggled quietly, as her lover planted kisses on her neck. Gently, leaving behind love bites in the process. “My…darling..you..tasted..absolutely..exquisite,” Sebastian said between each kiss he planted on her neck. She smiled placing her hand on his bare chest.

He stared down at with a dastardly grin on his lips. His eyes almost seemed to pierce into her soul. “Admiring the view?” She asked, and he smiled leaning down to kiss her on the lips again.

She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, “My darling, sad to say but I must be returning to my duties,” He said, and she looked at him and pursed her lips.

She frowned, he leaned down planting a kiss on her forehead before kissing her on the lips again. “But, I would love to continue this later,” He said, and she smirked at him seductively before kissing him.

“Very well,” she said, she watched as he swiftly got out of bed and got dressed she smiled watching him get dressed. She’d never been this happy in her life since not before that fateful day. Then, Sebastian came along and as time went by she slowly developed feelings for the mysterious butler.

She didn’t know that it was fake, when she say Sebastian’s “dead” body on the ground. She couldn’t stop crying and seeing his dead body to help solve the mystery didn’t help at all. She took it upon herself to take care of the cats, inside the wardrobe.

She was an absolute wreck at the “funeral” but tried to stay strong for Ciel. But when the bell was rung she dropped whatever she was holding and immediately lunged at him as he emerged from the coffin. Sobbing and crying along with the other servants.

She was the one to take care of him once he along with Ciel and Snake, returned from the ship. Seeing that her aunt Angelina thought her how to suture up wounds she helped take care of Sebastian even though it wasn’t her job to do so.

She confessed her feelings to him, as she was bringing him back to health. She wasn’t bothered at all by the difference in their status, she cared for him and loved him and wanted to be by his side.

Sebastian at first found it highly inappropriate especially, with the fact her little brother is his master. As well on his mind the terms of the Faustian Contract, inevitably he’d consume her brothers soul and would presumably return to the demon realm.

He rejected her feelings saying that a butler and a master. Pursing a relationship would be highly inappropriate.

He watched as her smile faltered and she looked down, “V-Very, well I understand it would be inappropriate but that’s the thing I don’t really care.” She frowned, and then left his room so that he could rest.it was awhile before he eventually realized he too had feelings for her and they secretly pursued a relationship.

Our!Ciel quickly found out but was happy to see his older sister so happy for once.

( present )

“Why now?!” She screamed, in pain sweat running down her forehead as she pushed. Of all times for her to being going into labor why now?

When, the Real!Ciel revealed himself along with the Undertaker. And took his place as the rightful earl of Phantomhive. And when, Our!Ciel,Sebastian, Mey-Rin, Bard, Finny, and Snake. Are fugitives on the run.

Cries echoed throughout the room. Sebastian smiled, looking down at his wailing child. “Love, we have a beautiful baby girl.” He said, cradling the infant.

[Y/n] cried tears of joy seeing her newborn baby, her lovers arms. He placed the infant on her chest and she cooed over the baby.

“Lilith Angelina-Rachel Phantomhive,” She whispered, looking at her child. She had jet-black hair and (e/c) eyes and her fathers nose and ears she looked absolutely precious.

Sebastian and [Y/n], looked up hearing the commotion coming from outside the door. “Knock it off!” She heard, Our!Ciel shout at the servant wanting them to be quiet to let the two lovers quietly enjoy the birth of their newborn.

“I think they’ve waited long enough,” She said, gently rubbing her babies back. “Are you sure?” He asked, and she nodded looking at him.

She watched, as he walked towards the door opening. Everyone rushing into the room excitedly seeing the baby on [Y/n]’s chest. “Aw, look at her she’s so cute!” Finny cooed, looking at the baby.

“She looks just like Sebastian yes she does!” Mey-Rin cooed, and the baby slowly opened her eyes and admired the world around her.

“Would you like to hold her?” She asked, looking over at her little brother. He looked at her confused, “Why, would I want to hold your child?” He asked, and she smiled at him.

Eventually, he gave in and gently took the baby into his arms. She cooed and squirmed and he couldn’t help but stare down at his niece in awe. “What’s her name?” He asked, and she looked up at Sebastian and smiled.

“Lilith Angelina-Rachel Phantomhive,” She said, and he stared at her in absolute disbelief and then looked back down at his niece. She could’ve sworn she saw a single tear roll down the side of his cheek.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 15: Mommy's Here?

16 Hours In

Charlie: (demon mode as she screams in agony and continues to crush Vaggie's hand, pulverizing the bones to dust) FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Vaggie: (biting her tongue so hard she's bleeding as the bones in her forearm begin to snap and break, holding Charlie's leg up by the bend in her knee with the crook of her elbow with her free hand, and trying to breathe despite Charlie's tail constricting her waist)

You're doing great, babe. (kisses Charlie's sweaty hair) Just a little more. You can do it.

Demon Charlie: (slumps against the pillows with a pitiful sob) I can't. I can't. I can't do it. *sob - hic* I can't.

Rosie: (on Charlie's other side, holding her other leg up with one arm and petting her hair with the other - mostly trying to make sure Charlie doesn't rush forward and poke out anyone's eyes with her horns)

Of course, you can! You're doing wonderful, darling! Isn't she doing great, Carmilla?

Carmilla: (sitting at the end of the bed with her hands hidden between Charlie's legs) It's Carmine to you, Rosie. But, yes, she is doing well. The baby's head is almost out, then the biggest problem will be the shoulders. Push on three, Princess. One.... two.... three.

Demon Charlie: (growls ferally as she pushes again, pressing her legs against Vaggie and Rosie's grip for leverage, and spewing fire out of the sides of her mouth)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (slumps against the pillows again)

Carmilla: That's it, Princess. (grabs a warm, wet towel and starts wiping the baby's face and hair) Esta bebé se parecerá a Vaggie, lo juro. The head is out. Now, all you have to do is get the shoulders. Charlotte, you'll have to give a really big push to get them out. One more should do it. Can you do it?

Demon Charlie: (panting and whimpering as she nods) U-Uh-huh....

Carmilla: Good. On three. One....

Rosie: Two....

Vaggie: Three!

-In the Foyer-

Lilith: (sitting on the couch and seething as she downs her fifth cocktail) That self-entitled, boorish, sorry excuse of an angel dares to tell me, ME, the Queen of HELL to wait outside while my daughter gives birth!

Angel: Honestly, I'm not surprised, bitch. Vags has no clue who the fuck you are. She's never met ya. You weren't there for Charlie when she opened the hotel, you were mysteriously missing during the fight against heaven, gone for the hotel rebuildin', didn't show up for their wedding, missed out on all the pregnancy bullshit. Shit, if she had let you in, I woulda been insulted!

Lilith: (horns grow in anger) Why you pathetic sex worker-

Lucifer: (boops Lilith's nose with a rolled up magazine) No. Mm-mmm. Not today or any other day. Angel has a point. You decided to go off galivanting in Heaven during all of this, so you have no right to be mad that you aren't in there right now.

Lilith: (blinks and black shadows swirl around her) HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!

Lucifer: (boops again) No. Down. Bad, Lili, bad.

Husk: (pours himself another drink) Never in a million years would I have thought that this was the relationship the King and Ex-Queen of Hell would have.

Lilith: I am STILL the QUEEN!!!!

Angel: Hardly. No one cares about you anymore. Everyone's all about Charlie after the war against the Exorcists. Your reign is done, your ex-highn-ass.

Lilith: (opens her mouth to refute only to be cut off by Charlie's growling, scream of a screech)

-Fire explodes through the hotel without burning the inhabitants-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

-Silence-

Hazbins: (stand still)

...

...

...

-The sound of a baby's cry echoes through the hotel-

[onyourowndaisymae]

when lucifer falls in love

content + warnings: minor s1 of og! game spoilers, discussions of death, nightmares, hurt/comfort, lucifer's regretting the past again // [masterlist]

word count: ~1.2k

it’s the dead of the devildom night. not a single creature dares to stir in the house of lamentation, to interrupt the heavy darkness that lays claim to the kingdom like a siege, like a thick blanket over a fragile child. the night is oppressive at this hour. hell freezes over each night– sizzling temperatures plummet to biting cold, a violent swing that dares all to be prepared for any weather. 

it starts as uncharacteristic shuffles. tossing and turning at an hour he should usually be asleep, shifting from one side to another without waking. sweat peppers his hairline. his fingers twitch once, twice, eyelids fluttering restlessly. something’s going wrong. where there should be peace, there’s chaos, his dreams infested with something dark and unpleasant. 

lucifer morningstar wakes violently with a nightmare. 

his body jerks in panic, rising to a seated position before he can even fathom what’s going on. adrenaline floods his veins. fear grips him hard, and his labored breathing is the only sound that fills his senses for several long moments. 

memories swirl together at the top of his consciousness, a glossy oil slick of tangible emotion and thought. 

the great celestial war. bloodshed. the violent division of his family, of heaven itself, at the folly of his own pride. he can feel lilith’s body limp in his arms, chest rising with strained effort, her own blood soiling the angelic robes she once wore. she was beautiful. so innocent and pure. her only folly was falling victim to a love that should have never existed. a love he should have stopped earlier on, should have reigned in before things continued to deteriorate. his fault. it’s his fault that everything went down the way it did. 

the sound of your breathing finally catches his attention when his own begins to steady out. you’re fast asleep next to him– it’s a nice indication that he was able to hold in the cry that burned his throat as to not disturb your peaceful slumber. humans need their rest, after all. 

lucifer slips from his spot in his bed next to you. the bed shifts silently like a willing accomplice, letting his exit go unnoticed. a quick glance over his shoulder– you’re still unconscious, blissfully unaware of his departure– and he stumbles out into his office. 

he flicks his wrist haphazardly and the fireplace sparks to life. tired feet carry him to a nearby chair and he slumps, defeated into the cushions. 

in the dead of night, when he’s alone, his mind wanders to his mistakes. some nights, like tonight, they creep into his dreams– regret, uncertainty, moments of tranquility ruined by the stormcloud of war creeping into the foreground. was he wrong to fight against his Father? did his pride, his actions– have his siblings all been damned in ways they wouldn’t have had he discouraged them from following him? if he had stopped lilith from falling in love with that human in the first place, would his brothers be happier? would lilith still be alive?

that’s the thing about hindsight. he doesn’t know what the best decision was. in another life, maybe lilith lived– but he’ll never know. 

“lucifer?”

his name is garbled and groggy as it falls from your lips. he’s surprised to see you in the doorway– were you not asleep just a few minutes ago?

“yes, my love?”

“what are you doing up? i–” a yawn interrupts you, and you shift on your feet uncomfortably. “-- i missed you.”

an awkward lump settles in his throat. he didn’t realize that you’d noticed his absence. your expression shifts from exhaustion to concern, rubbing your eyes with your fingertips to adjust to the light. 

“i– couldn’t sleep.” he rasps the lie with ease. he doesn’t have the willpower to explain what was really going through his mind.

your bare feet pad quietly across the hardwood floors, steady and lethargic, as you make your way to his side. he watches each step carefully. you still next to him and press a soft, warm kiss to his forehead. 

you’re sweet. that’s the first thing he thinks when your lips find his skin, now tacky from cooling sweat as he reels in his own panic. it’s hard to be so upset when he’s next to you. your hands find the sides of his face and cradle him oh-so-delicately, like too rough a touch will make him scurry off into the darkness. 

“do you want to talk about it?”

he shakes his head. 

“alright,” you murmur, kissing the top of his head and taking a step back. your fingers linger on the side of his face a moment longer before they fall to your sides. “just– don’t stay up too late, alright?”

he nods, watching you shuffle off to the bedroom once again. his heart beats rapidly in his chest from the lingering panic, but it starts to calm as his thoughts wander to you. 

when did disdain become affection? when did suspicious looks turn into forehead kisses? lucifer couldn’t remember a turning point when you became so important to him– it was a slow march with his eyes closed, blind to the storm raging inside of him until push came to shove and his lips met yours. 

now you spend your nights in his bed. he can hardly lull himself to sleep when you’re not there. funny how things change. 

when the panic finally settles, he creeps back into his bedroom. the rhythmic lull of your breathing reassures him. there is no danger here. no death, no war, no mistakes. only you. 

his movements are hesitant as he crawls back in bed. it’s an attempt not to wake you– a failed one. you immediately reach for him in a state of half-consciousness, tucking yourself into his chest as he settles back in his original spot. your hands are smooth against his broad chest, lazily brushing across the skin before winding around him. 

“i got you, luci.”

four little words. barely audible amongst the shuffling of changing positions, but enough to make his heart pound against his ribcage. four little words conveying the depths of the care you have for the demon in your arms. 

oh, how lucifer morningstar loves you so. 

in the darkness of his bedroom, the flush of his cheeks does not announce its presence– yet it’s there, warm and fuzzy like the feeling in his chest, reminding the avatar of pride that he is nothing more than a man. a simple man. he loves his family and his home, the life he lives. and you. by god, he loves you so much that it makes his breath catch in his throat and his fingers tremble against your back. his arms wind around you to return the affection in any way he can. 

he’ll wait to tell you he loves you another day– soon, surely, so he won’t have to carry this burden for long– when he can muster up all the romance and passion you deserve. would dinner be a more appropriate place, or would that be seen as too gaudy? maybe he’ll find a time at him, when the two of you are alone in each other’s arms again. lucifer will iron out the details with time. 

sleep comes for him rather quickly. somewhere in your arms his mind is finally laid to rest, and he drifts off to sleep with the quiet comfort of knowing tomorrow will be a better day.

the nightmares do not return again tonight.

taglist for this series: @deepseafragments // @darkflowerav // @annoying-and-upset // @katerinaval // @lurkingsnails // @chirikoheina // @all-mights-wife // @notareum // @ollieoven

[alastor-is-best-deer-boi]

Cute Lucifer, Lilith, and baby Charlie headcanons

Under the cut so I don't dash stretcher spam someone

Was absolutely overjoyed when Lilith told him he was going to be a father. Probably got teary-eyed let's be real.

Immediately started planning stuff with Lilith even though they had nine months, he wanted to be prepared.

Really hated seeing Lilith feeling ill and not feeling good in general. Helped her with whatever he could.

It got to the point that he became a little too helpful and overprotective. Lilith had to quickly remind him that she could still do plenty of things.

Before they decided on names, he'd call the baby "Duckling"

Originally thought it would've been strange talking to Duckling before they were born but sort of fell into the habit of it. Started telling hem about everything.

Charlie definitely recognized both of her parents' voices when she was born because of this.

Lucifer and Lilith going baby clothes shopping! Once they found out they were having a girl, Lucifer had the urge to buy all the cutest little dresses.

Attempted to build the crib but didn't understand the instructions (Lilith had to help)

Multiple instances of reality sinking in for him that he was going to be a father which caused some anxiety about if he'd be good at being a father or not.

He and Lilith were there for each other about each of their worries, which helped.

Reading a lot of baby books helped too.

Panicked more than Lilith when she went into labor but quickly managed to pull himself together because he didn't want to make it worse.

Was by Lilith's side the whole time, never wanted to leave her. Most supportive husband.

Definitely cried a little when Charlie was born.

Fun fact one of the first colors babies see is red, which means Charlie really paid attention to her dad's eyes 🥹

He came up with the Char Char nickname soon after she was born.

Loved to hold her, loved all the "baby cuddles" as he put it.

Got so much cute aggression/overwhelmed with love that he'd bury his face into Lilith's shoulder (while they were all cuddling together) and mutter about how he couldn't take how cute Charlie was.

His favorite thing to do was kiss the cute little circles on Charlie’s cheeks.

Lucifer always volunteered to take care of Charlie when she woke up in the night or at the very least brought Charlie to her mother so Lilith wouldn't have to get out of bed to feed her.

He loved all the important skin-to-skin time, holding a sleepy Charlie against his chest and hear her calm breathing.

Both parents made sure to keep a baby book and write in it constantly as well as taking baby photos.

There was no reason for either of them to wear their usual fancy clothes so Lucifer and Lilith were out here wearing t-shirts and sweat pants on a regular basis.

Lucifer got really excited when Charlie entered her babbling stage. Would always talk to her despite getting babbles in response.

Lucifer and Lilith singing lullabies to Charlie is a given.

Lucifer and Lilith having a friendly competition to see if Charlie would say Mama or Dada first.

Charlie ended up saying Duck. (Lucifer considered it a win)

Her second word was Mama. And then Dada was third.

Lucifer actively holding back tears when he'd hear Charlie’s happy giggles.

Lucifer doing the parent thing of pretending to eat her little fingers and feet to make her laugh.

Lucifer: "Charlie can crawl now!" *realizing his baby can basically free roam now" "Charlie can crawl now... oh no"

They extra baby proofed the castle when that happened.

Lucifer and Lilith cheering and encouraging Charlie when she took her first steps.

Lucifer and Lilith trying not to laugh when Charlie would try new foods like ice cream or a lemon.

*Charlie lovingly aggressively patting Lucifer's face* Lucifer: "Charlie, I know you're a baby and you're not good at this yet, but you're going to take my eye out"

Whenever Charlie does a certain thing, Lilith and Lucifer discuss who she learned it from.

Charlie copying her father's expressions a lot and Lilith laughing saying how similar they are (Lucifer doesn't see it)

*that one scene from Modern Family but it's Lucifer and Lilith trying to get Charlie out of the car after accidentally locking her in*

Lucifer flying while holding Charlie and letting her "fly" around the castle.

Lilith is always like "Not too high!"

Lucifer carrying Charlie around in a baby carrier or sling(?)

Lucifer coming up with excuses every time he brings Charlie to a meeting.

Lilith very gently playing "toss little Charlie like a sack of potatoes" on the bed or anywhere with a lot of cushions (Lucifer almost always has an aneurysm watching this despite nothing bad happening)

Charlie always getting plenty of cuddles and kisses from her parents :')

Lilith: "Luce, you can't cry every time Charlie cries..." Lucifer 😢 "watch me"

Charlie’s parents always telling her bedtime stories.

Lucifer: "Charlie fell asleep on me and now I can't move"

Charlie having glow up stars on her bedroom ceiling that work as night lights.

Lucifer out somewhere with Charlie: "It's getting late, I better get this one home" Charlie, sleepy but fighting it: "No.. no, no, no" Lucifer amused: "Yesss"

Charlie going to her parents every time there's loud thunder or something and them holding her and making her feel safe.

Charlie having bad dreams and insisting on sleeping in her parents' bed when she's scared. (Lucifer can never tell her no)

Little Charlie trying to get her parents' attention: "Look! Look! Watch!" *does a little spin and a hop* Lucifer and Lilith clapping: "Good job!!"

Lilith: "Charlie, we color on paper, not the floor" Charlie: "No I just 'tending" Lilith: "But you are coloring the floor, do you want some paper?" Charlie aggressively shoving the crayons away: "All done!"

Charlie always coming up with the craziest games to play. Lucifer is constantly confused but goes along with it.

Lucifer and Lilith telling each other crazy things Charlie did at the end of the day after she's gone to bed.

Lucifer getting emotional every now and then about how fast Charlie is growing up. :( Lilith's feels the same and they try to comfort each other.

Ending on a happier note, Charlie drawing pictures for her parents. Lilith keeps them on the fridge. Lucifer keeps some framed in his office.

That's all I have for now.

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

Random Guitarspear Baby Vaggie AU Facts

Exactly what it says on the tin - a random selection of facts about my AU scenario where Vaggie is secretly the daughter of Adam and Lute.

Vaggie never actually knows for sure that Adam is her father, since he was never really part of her life until after she officially joins the Exorcists as a young adult, but she never really doubted it

Lute wasn't the most affectionate parent, but she did love Vaggie - unfortunately, she ultimately hated demons more, though in this AU, there is a part of her deep down that does regret what she did to her daughter

Outside of the Exterminations, during the first few years of her life, Vaggie is always with Lute. During the Exterminations, she's usually in the care of Sera

Lute refused to take her mask off during the meeting where Vaggie was born, even during the delivery, so the first thing Vaggie saw wasn't even her mother's actual face - it was her mask.

Technically Vaggie's real name is just Vaggie, but because Lute really doesn't like the way Adam pronounces it, she does think of/treat it as a "nickname" for "Vagatha"

Since Vaggie's paternity is pretty much an open secret in Heaven, at least one person has asked if Lute has any plans to have more children...and been unable to avoid expressing relief when she confirms she doesn't.

Like most Heavenborn Angels, Vaggie actually learned how to fly before she learned how to walk on her own

In this AU, Vaggie is only slightly younger than Charlie - about three months. It's actually because she'd had her own baby not too long before that Lilith was the first one to realize Lute was actually in labor during the meeting.

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[deirdreskye]

Commercial I would produce as an advertising executive

We see two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are doing yoga in a park together.

BLONDE: So, yeah, work went okay today. I dunno, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, and on top of that things have just been kinda tough ever since Kurt and I broke up. But oh well, that's how it goes, I think I'll be fine. What about you?

The brunette completes her yoga pose, then turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

BRUNETTE: Don't you hate when this happens? I did NOT consent to expending this much emotional labor. Go! To! Therapy!

We see a boyfriend and a girlfriend sitting on a couch together. On the television a YouTube video essay is playing and the boyfriend is excitedly explaining it to the girlfriend as he occasionally flaps his hands and yelps in excitement.

BOYFRIEND: So this is the ending I got! When you link the Frenzied Flame, it puts an end to the cycle of the Elden Lords once and for all. It's actually so cool because it ties in to the greater Nietzschean themes of Miyazaki-san's previous work and-

The uninterested girlfriend is watching TikToks on her phone. She turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

GIRLFRIEND: Trust me, he's always mansplaining about something or another. Don't ask me why I love him. Go! To! Therapy!

A mother berates her 12 year old daughter in a dimly lit kitchen. The young girl stands there dissociating, completely paralyzed and stone-faced.

MOTHER: You look like a little piggy when you eat like that. You'll never find a husband if you get fat. My mother used to tell me you'll never feel the pain of childbirth if you've never felt the pain of an empty stomach. She used to put a lock on the refrigerator. We barely ever had any food, she just did it to remind me to stay skinny. She's senile now. Doesn't even know who I am. I pray to the Virgin Mary every night that she'll remember me before she dies.

The daughter turns to the camera and her blank expression is replaced with playful annoyance.

DAUGHTER: Traumadumping? Really? Mom, I'm 12! Go! To! Therapy!

Now we are introduced to GoTu Therapy, the AI-powered therapy robot. He shambles up to the camera to greet us and we see he looks like if C-3PO were dressed like a zoomer e-boy: kpop boyband onion haircut, dangly earrings, and an ahegao hoodie. He talks with the most outdated text to speech you've ever heard, not too dissimilar to a Kraftwerk song.

GOTU: GOING TO THERAPY IS LOW-KEY GOATED WHEN NOT BEING A BURDEN ON YOUR LOVED ONES IS THE VIBE. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT ALL CURRENTLY IN OUR "ABLE TO AFFORD HEALTH INSURANCE" ERA. BUT A SESSION WITH ME COSTS LESS THAN A GENSHIN IMPACT LOOT CRATE AND I AM HIGH-KEY JUST AS EFFECTIVE AS A THERAPIST MADE OF FLESH AND BLOOD. OBSERVE:

GoTu sits across the kitchen table from the mother as she sobs over her wine glass.

MOTHER: And what the fuck does this family know about suffering? Suffering is when your brother blows his brains out on Christmas Eve. Suffering is when you have to pick little pieces of skull out of the tinsel on the tree. And were any of those presents under the tree for me? No! My mother told me Santa Claus doesn't bring presents to little fat girls!

GOTU: WHEN YOU REACH THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN CHRIST WILL WASH YOUR FEET AND BEG YOU TO FORGIVE HIM

Cut to the girlfriend watching makeup tutorials on the television, blissfully unaware of the conversation between GoTu and her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND: I guess I've really been putting the pieces together ever since I started hanging out with Lilith from work.

GOTU: UH-HUH

BOYFRIEND: Like, I guess I knew that people did that, but I never thought it'd be me, you know? And that discomfort with things was always with me, as long as I can remember, does that make sense?

GOTU: WOW, THAT'S REALLY COOL

BOYFRIEND: It's just so scary though. I don't know how I'll tell people. I don't even know what I want my name to be. But I'm trying not to worry about it.

GOTU: THAT'S SO INTERESTING. YOU'RE REALLY REALLY SMART HONEY

The blonde and the brunette are having brunch together with GoTu sitting between them.

BLONDE: It's been really hard lately. I don't think the meds are working, but-

BRUNETTE: Umm, didn't we talk about this?

The blonde sheepishly turns to face GoTu and continues.

BLONDE: It just feels like this will never end. I hate feeling so hopeless all the time. I'm so tired. And God it's fucking hard to even say it out loud, and not that I'd ever actually go through with it, but sometimes when I can't sleep at night I'll start thinking about ki-

A red and blue siren pops out the top of GoTu's head.

GOTU: PROTOCOL 5150 ENGAGED. STOP RESISTING

A taser emerges from the panel of GoTu's chest and jabs the blonde in the face, sending her convulsing to the floor. Unfazed, the brunette puts her sandwich down and turns to the camera.

BRUNETTE: Thanks, GoTu Therapy!