#lil dick likes harvey

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

lowk FUCKED up, butttttttttttttt would any of the comic book yanderes lobotomize their darling? we always talkin about willingness and shit saur... ya know!! just a lil off the top if ykwim

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒…

!!! GN reader, take a wild guess (lobotomies), neurological terms used, basic delusional behaviors, unethical uses of superpowers, unethical practices in general, mentions of brain dead/vegetative/mentally handicapped reader, Hal’s part briefly describes actual lobotomy procedures, Joker jumpscare in Harvey’s, gaslighting, a small history lesson here and there, themes of forced drug abuse, Tim Drake being a good candidate for the Saw franchise.

GRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHGHHHRRR. Anon, come over here so I can give you a lil forehead smooch. I’ve always wanted to write a yan lobotomy blurb, but… I didn’t really know what direction I wanted to go. Or who to write about. The idea is was legit, “hee hee, wouldn’t it be silly if there was a yandere lobotomy fic” and that’s about it. So I guess this is my chance to get some feelings out about that, yay!!

A few of these are a bit longer than usual cuz this type of shit is my jam. I also didn’t know if you wanted me to rank them on least to most likely, so shoot me a follow up ask if that’s what you wanted. Mwah!!

Bruce Wayne: Definitely not off the table. I’m willing to bet Thomas Wayne had at least one book on lobotomies; just an antique hardback that makes for an interesting read. I can see young Bruce sitting on his father’s lap in the study, tiny hands tracing over the book’s old diagrams as Thomas lovingly describes all of the morbid things they’d do to people (you know, classic father/son bonding activities). Who knew it would actually come in handy one day? Moral repercussions be damned, my man can pull off a sick lobotomy. There are of course factors he has no control over — such as your own brain plasticity and cognitive function — but that’s not exactly his fault, now is it? What your brain decides to do post-lobotomy has nothing to do with him (jokes aside, he’d be devastated if you were totally fucked up afterwards… though he’d easily adapt).

Bucky Barnes: I think he’s had enough mind-meddling of his own to give this a hard pass. It doesn’t matter how bad you are; he’s not doing anything to your brain. You’ll learn to behave on your own accord. And thank god, cuz bro would NOT make a good brain surgeon. He’d brick you so fast. Also, fun fact, the Soviets were actually the first to ban lobotomies (if memory serves correct; Google is backing me up, so… do with that what you will). I don’t know if this carries over to the KGB and their little secret evil organization side shenanigans, but yeah. Let it be known that the chances of lobotomized Bucky went down by… like… 3%.

Clark Kent: At first, I was about to say no, but then I remembered the Justice Lords from the JL cartoon, and… you know what? Maybe. It would be a very low chance, but if it’s gotten to the point where you’re a danger to yourself, Clark would have no other choice. What else can he do? Your safety always comes first and foremost. While the two dots singed into your forehead would raise a few brows, it’s not like he lets you out much anyway. He’d spend a long time trying to cope with the guilt. He did this to save you… he just had to save you from yourself. At least his heat vision is precise enough that he wouldn’t fuck it up. Now all that’s left to do is hope that you turn out okay. He’ll consider it a job well done if you can at least still smile at him.

Dick Grayson: He really isn’t that much different from Bruce, is he? Yeah, he’d do it. Maybe with a few more reservations, but he’d still do it. I think it’s in your best interest if you don’t let him spiral this far, because he’s not against the idea of you being in a completely vegetative state. Yeah, it would suck that you aren’t as active of a participant as he’d want you to be, but having complete control over your care is good enough for him. He’ll easily let his own delusions fill that void. Honestly, a part of him might even hope you turn out with a mental capacity of a toddler. It’s the best of both worlds; while you can still respond to your environment, you also rely heavily on his care. Perfectly pliable in his hands… a dream come true! Yay!

Hal Jordan: Nah. He’s good. Last he checked, he’s not the most qualified person in the world to quite literally poke around in someone’s brain. Hell, even the thought of it makes him sick. No drilling holes into skulls, no skewering needles through eye sockets, no thanks! He’ll leave that up to the people who can stomach the grosser shit. Now, is the thought of a quick operation that theoretically fixes your bratty behavior tempting? Sure. But Hal’s not an idiot; he knows the risks, and those risks just don’t seem worth it. There’s a reason lobotomies are unethical nowadays. Unless the topic comes up in some sort of show or movie, the thought wouldn’t even cross his mind.

Harvey Dent: Neither Harvey nor Two Face are all that keen on the idea. They might’ve done some fucked up shit to you (definitely Two Face more than Harvey), but a lobotomy? That’s just a new level of fucked up. A Joker level of fucked up, even (and the thought of being compared to that piece of shit makes both sides of Dent want to light up an entire room). Besides, there’s no one on the entire planet he’d trust to pull off a procedure like that on you. While he might know a guy or two who would totally do it in this day and age, he’d sooner put a bullet in their brain than let them fuck around with yours. That being said, don’t think you’re totally out of the woods. At the end of the day, it’s all up to the coin, remember?

Jaime Reyes: Would Jaime? No. Absolutely not. It’s unethical, it’s fucked, and it’s also just gross. Anything to do with surgery makes him feel extremely squeamish, and he might actually pass out if he thinks about it too hard. But would Khaji Da? Yeah. Probably. Though it would have to be an extreme scenario, where you’re just completely beyond controlling. Khaji Da knows the risks, and while he’ll execute the technical aspects flawlessly, the results are naturally unpredictable. It would be unfortunate if the scarab lost its host’s mate. Your poor little noggin is at the mercy of Jaime’s resolve. Is he in full control? Then don’t worry, his incoherent mutterings about severing connections in your prefrontal cortex are nothing but his weird intrusive thoughts. But… if he isn’t… uh-oh.

Peter Parker: Nope. No lobotomies here. He’s quite aware of the repercussions, both morally and practically. Honestly, he doesn’t even see most of your behaviors as something in need of correcting in the first place. Maybe if you were causing yourself any sort of harm, but other than that, he can put up with a lot of your bullshit. Talking back? Name calling? Hitting and kicking? Straight-up just being abusive? As long as you don’t leave him, he’ll work with it! Peter is the exact definition of a pushover yandere. You can get away with a lot, and that includes not getting lobotomy!

Reed Richards: I can see him pulling one off. Is it the most desirable outcome? Definitely not. But there’s only so much he can put up with before he finally puts his foot down. If you’re the insubordinate type, you’ve probably given him at least 17 heart attacks by now, and it’s only natural he’d come up with a way to curb those behaviors. See, me personally, if I were to get a lobotomy from any of these men, I’m calling up Reed. He’s no neurologist, but I’m sure he can whip up something to study your brain waves and accurately predict the outcome of a lobotomy. Plus, he’d probably have the safest environment and instruments for the operation. You won’t feel a thing, trust. Now let’s hope months of collecting data and trial runs on some less-than-willing test subjects pay off!

Remy LeBeau: Yeah, no… probably not. Thanks to Sinister, he knows first hand how invasive a lobotomy is. You’d have to be really unstable for him to even consider that idea. He definitely has the means to do it — all he has to do is put a finger up to your forehead and burn through your frontal lobe — but having the resolve to do it is a different story. While he might’ve turned out semi-okay post-lobotomy, there’s no telling what would happen after yours. Way too risky. Only something to consider as a totally nuclear option. So don’t make him do something he’d rather not, okay? It’d be better for you, better for him, better for everyone.

Scott Summers: Like Gambit, he’s a victim of Sinister’s fuckery but 10 times worse. I don’t think he’d be able to stomach the thought of doing anything surgical to you no matter how disobedient you are. But… maybe we can make this a little interesting. Scott’s attracted some hella weird attention over the years… who’s to say someone like Sinister wouldn’t get his hands on you and do a little fucking around? Maybe Goblin Queen? A particularly pissed off Phoenix? While Scott himself wouldn’t dare lobotomize you, I think there’s some people out there who would. Or, hear me out: mind controlled Cyclops almost crushing your skull with an optic blast. It would be more blunt force than an actual lobotomy, but I’m willing to bet it would fuck up your cognitive function all the same. Despite the immense horror and guilt he’d feel afterwards, a small part of him can see it as a blessing in disguise (depending on how you turn out, that is).

Steve Rogers: Honestly, Cap was frozen at the funniest point in history ever. The amount of lobotomies increased exponentially from the 40s to 50s (mind you, WWII ended in 1945), and then antipsychotics were introduced as a more ethical way to treat mental illness, which Steve wouldn’t know shit about. Unfortunately for all of my fellow sickos out there, lobotomies were probably never a thing Steve liked about the 40s, but allow me to offer an alternative. Steve thinks there’s clearly something wrong with your mental health; why else would you act like you hate him? Luckily for him, this is the 21st century, where people know much more about mental illnesses and disorders. He could easily pull some strings as Captain America and get you the help you so obviously need. So, I guess the question is, how many different prescriptions of antipsychotics can one take at once? Guess you’ll find out!

Tim Drake: So… uh… y’all better pray that he doesn’t get any intrusive thoughts about this shit. And if he does, PRAY that he snaps out of his weird fit before it’s too late. DO NOT LET BRO COOK. I don’t think he’d totally fuck it up or anything, but the chances of him spiraling and performing more than one are dangerously high. You might find the out hard way just how much poking and prodding a brain can take before it shuts down. Depending on how manic he is, he might actually lobotomize you while you’re conscious. No anesthesia, no painkillers, just him pouncing on you with a hammer and pick. You will be rawdogging this lobotomy like god intended. That’s when he’d fuck your shit up. Unless you want him to brick your brain, you better fight him off and wrestle those tools out of his hands. The post-manic episode clarity would be insane. “Uh… sorry I tried to give you a lobotomy.” Cool, man. Okay.

Wally West: Wally “if you need to give someone a lobotomy, that’s honestly a skill issue” West. Who needs that shit when you’re THE master manipulator? It would take some god-tier perception (or paranoia) to see through a fraction of his act, and even so, what good will any of that do when he’s got everyone else wrapped around his finger? Fighting against him is a dangerous game. If need be, he’ll play the loving caretaker while you’re the loony one. Poor Wally… he’s trying to help you through your issues, and this is the thanks he gets? Wow. Now, for the sake of a little exploration, I think it’s important to note that Wally could theoretically go through with it (by phasing his hand through your skull and solidifying at the right angle), but that sounds way too unstable to pull off. It would probably run the risk of turning your brain into a soup, and I’m pretty sure that kills people.

[rev-wrath]

I've seen a piece of fanart about the in-universe Gothamite's guide to ships Bruce is part of and it got me thinking about that with the albatross duo (who are looped together cause have u seen them interacting with each other. like they'd ever break off their bond). The average Gothamite discusses the duo's potential/speculative third on at least a bi-weekly basis cause there's literal no other gossip in the god-forsaken city-

I think the most popular person that they're shipped with is Harvey- both pre & post Two-Face. Older Gothamites remember seeing the three of 'em running about the city when they were all pups and younger ones saw pictures and tabloid articles about Harvey and Bruce and R. Post Two-Face tho... it's childhood friends + doomed lovers and just tragedy all around so it's still a popular ship I think.

Some other ships include- one with that Metropolitan Journalist, Clark Kent- who's the only one to have gotten an interview with both their pathetic lil mew mew Bruce Wayne and his knight R, at the same time. And the fact that he left the grounds of R's mansion wearing very different clothes from when he first came to the city really didn't help. (Batman needed help from Superman for a thing, and one event led to another and ruined all of Clark's clothes. It was only by pure chance that R had spare clothes in the man's size in the storage.)

Another one is with Batman, the city's Dark Knight. Now, R and the Bat think they're being subtle but everyone knows they chase each other across the city's roofs. Some people speculate that R's being unfaithful to Bruce but that's like a minority opinion (Alfred laughs at that when he unwittingly comes across those kinds of posts).

Post JL formation though, the duo- as they're the main investors for the League ofc- would get shipped with. So. Many. Of. The. Heroes. Superman? Yeah, everyone's seen the way he carried Bruce Wayne out of a building princess-carry style. And the way he caught R whilst they were falling from a high place. Wonderwoman? She curls around protectively around the both of them during press conferences. The Green Lantern? The Flash (Barry and R have a laugh at that)? They all play into it tho. Maybe there is an underlying attraction there somewhere or maybe they're focusing the attention (of being many superheroes' 'weaknesses') on R + Bruce bc they can protect themselves.

Post Damian introduction tho, I feel like Talia would become more and more of a popular candidate for their third. She does linger around Bruce and R often, and later on it would be more of a public knowledge that Talia is Damian's birth mother so they all speculate that the three of them were in a secret courtship when Bruce and R were both out of the city.

The kids all have their favourite candidates and they make their picks known on Twitter.

(Did u know I had this ask in my mind last night and I wrote in my notes tell myself to send it to you in the morning bc I know that our short timeframe together is around that time)

I love all of this.

Everyone not involved has a stake in it. R gets dragged into YouTube compilation with Bruce. “The Prince and Knight of Gotham being the IT COUPLE for 6 minutes”. Then it expands into “A Deep Dive into Gotham’s It Couple” which then continues into who they’re potentially dating or hooked up with up. There’s a casual comment from the commentator about how they wouldn’t mind being a third.

The kids hang it over each other’s head anytime something happens. Jason would vote Diana but thinks she’s too good for Bruce so he’s with Damian in the Triple Parent team. Dick is with Clark and always has been. As a bit they do also say Batman isn’t any good for their parents, knowing that Batman is literally one of their parents.

[lucky-katebishop]

I Continue to Read Tim Drake Comics...

... and i’m getting tired. I think it’s just cause these issues were a big whole mess of unfinished stories. All these screenshots are from Robin 1993 issues 10-13. I’ve made two other posts about this :) @teenyturtle​ (if you want me to stop tagging you for these things let me know!!)

I finished reading this an hour ago and I still cannot believe this is real. What do you MEAN Robin!Dick shows up out of the blue and helps Tim out on a case? And then disappears in a flash of light?! It felt like I was reading fanfiction lol

Tim listens to metal music: confirmed (we knew this already though)

Harvey Dent. Has a robot dressed up as Robin. For him to destroy. The Arkham therapists are really top notch. 

Ouchie! Ouch! Jack Drake’s top notch parenting! I could write paragraphs about their relationship! Especially in conjunction to Tim and Bruce’s (nonexistent) relationship!

I just want to appreciate that Tim is too tiny for the batcomputer chair. The batchair if you will.

I am very confused about the placement of Jason’s plaque. I’m kinda iffy on the floorplan of the batcave in general. But why is it so... out in the open? Did Bruce do this on purpose to torture himself? I know there aren’t walls or anything, but still?

Here’s another shot of it. It’s not as close to the batcomputer as I previously thought, but in another picture it looks like it’s right next to the stairs not perched up against a wall or anything. It’s just there. Come on, Bruce!

Um. UM! Bertie Wooster reference?!!!! HELLO?! Kind of... why did they change the name? Is it ‘cause my edition is a bootlegged version? Or is this on the official comic? If it is, I’m confused, ‘cause this is ‘94, maybe ‘95 when this was released, and the Bertie books are from the 1920s (technically 1915 and copyright says that any books released before I think 1923 are deemed public domain, so why the censorship? Unless the very quick google job I did is more complicated)

Dick continues to be the only person to look out for Tim.

It’s rough going for you, lil buddy.

This letter to the columnist means literally everything to me. I, too, find everyone cute except Bruce and want Lady Shiva to beat me up for calling her cute. 

[brokentoys]

one of the reasons why riddler's reform is my least favorite eddie ep is because i feel it's kind of a nothing burger episode? like both if you're so smart, why aren't you rich? and what is reality? had powerful meanings.

like IYSSWAYR, it was a good episode about how corporate bosses screw over their employees all the time, even though if it wasn't for their employees, they wouldn't have the wealth they got. this was evident by how eddie was essentially set up as a sympathetic villain, hence why he got away free + no repercussions in the end, meanwhile mockridge is the one that pays, with bruce & dick showing obvious disdain for him with no sympathy for his trauma.

then what is reality, to me, felt like it was a metaphor for mental illness and how ed is "trapped" in it, possibly for life. this is evident in how the "digital world" can be shaped to anything he imagines (very symbolic of his own mind) how he spends the episode erasing "edward nygma" from existence because he "no longer exists, just the riddler" (which is symbolic for his mental illness consuming him whole to the point where he's unrecognizable) and the ending, where he essentially has a breakdown, and then gets trapped in the ""digital world"" to where he's unresponsive to people in reality

some might believe this is just me looking too into the episode and seeing things that aren't actually there, but an official merch for eddie (a little figurine by eaglemoss) came with a booklet detailing him in TAS, and this is mentioned regarding the WIR episode. it doesn't say he's trapped by the digital world, but by his OCD. which further alludes that the episode was indeed intended to be mental illness metaphor and how eddie suffers from it. so yea, this episode is very painful for me, but i feel it's deeper than most people realize.

but riddler's reform...? i don't rly see the depth in it as i did with the other two eddie episodes. the big message just feels like "eddie is a scumbag who will never be good." WHICH. i guess some could definitely debate the point is symbolic for how ed's mental illness will always hinder him / cause him to repeat old habits (even when he doesn't want to) but like. that's pretty similar to what is reality, which did that better imo.

this was rly the only scene that stood out to me in RR -- which was eddie denying his mental illness, which eddie is often characterized to do that, and it's very important when you think about it. rly, i think the episode should've focused more on this subject. of eddie denying his mental illness despite clearly showcasing symptoms, and everyone reacting to that. i think an episode of ed being in denial of his mental illness due to public stigma and internalized ableism would've made this episode a lil more interesting. (of course, that would also be similar to the harvey two - parter, but maybe we could see how a different perspective would handle it?) and like, i'm also critical of other things in RR, but they're not rly episode - ruining moments (just makes it not as good as the prev eddie eps)

for example, gotham adventures did something very similar to what i'm saying, and yeah! i just think riddler's reform could've been a deeper / better episode if they took this similar approach.

[ja50nt0ddwa5h3r3]

Batfam AU: Alfred Pennyworth never existed

When the Waynes die, Bruce is sent to a boarding school somewhere in Pakistan, under Headmaster al Ghul (Listen. Talia wanted an undercover gig. He was like- nawr, so, erm, he went undercover instead. Lil Tally is a menace.)

He comes back to Gotham at eighteen, without training because Ra’s don’t want his daughter anywhere near this idiot rich kid with trauma. Bruce was a bad kid in school.

Dick Grayson’s parents die that day in the circus, Bruce was too busy getting drunk off his ass with Harvey.

Dick stays with Haly’s, eventually getting a new team to trapeze with.

The Court of Owls still goes after him when he’s a little older, and I apologize to the Talon!Dick haters, but Alfred’s not here to set the chain of events to stop it.

Jason doesn’t steal the tires off the Batmobile (Bcuz there isn’t one), and, y’all are going to hate me, but, erm, street kids usually end up picked up by a gang at some point, and for the Irony, it’s Roman Sionis. He quickly works his way up the ranks.

Tim’s put in an orphanage (it’s Gotham, doesn’t matter if they’re rich or not, it’s probably Ma Gunn’s tbh)

He never falls into any dangerous hobbies, but he also doesn’t get good education unless the city pays for it with the late Drakes’ money, but of course they don’t.

Justice League won’t touch Gotham, seeing as how bad the crime is now that the Waynes aren’t there to provide funding for the few good things in Gotham.

Leslie’s clinic is still a big part of the Narrows, eventually expanding to free boarding for homeless kids (after Jason’s already off the streets) and a well known emergency service all across Gotham.

Do I even need to say it? Damian doesn’t exist. Neither does the Joker, etc. HOWEVER, unfortunately, all the rogues that would have become rogues even without Batman’s existence (or Bruce Wayne’s involvement) would still become rogues.

Stephanie succeeds in fighting off her dad, eventually becoming the first vigilante of Gotham, still Spoiler. (She doesn’t have the training from Bruce though, obvi)

Cass runs off from David and Sandra, tries to work with society without the help of the Batfam

[whiteshipnightjar]

Does art make a difference?

Aw, sure. Of course there are degrees of extremity to the potential change that art can effect, depending on how many people are able to engage with it. The Beatles made a huge difference in the world. But Henry Darger, Jeff McKissack, Karen Dalton, Pauline Oliveros, Kenneth Patchen – there are so many folks who have made great art and not gotten massively famous for it, yet I think there are all sorts of ways their work informs and shapes other people’s work, and brains, and decisions.

Should politics and art mix?

Well, everything mixes, the New Statesman! That’s like asking if a knee-reflex hammer and a quadriceps tendon should “mix”.

Is your work for the many or for the few?

That’s for the many/few to say. I just crank out the hot jams.

If you were world leader, what would be your first law?

Gravity. I feel like we need to tighten up the constitutional protections that particular law enjoys. It’s a ticking time bomb, if you ask me.

Who would be your top advisers?

Cute angel on one shoulder, cute devil on the other.

What, if anything, would you censor?

Maybe we could all agree to not bust each other’s chops all cut-dang day.

If you had to banish one public figure, who would it be?

Don’t know, banishment might be a little extreme, but I’d sure like to take that Stephen Hawking dude down a notch or two. Right? Are you with me?

What are the rules that you live by?

Basically, “bros before hos”. I feel like if you stay true to that, everything else just kind of falls into place.

Do you love your country?

I love William Faulkner, Dolly Parton, fried chicken, Van Dyke Parks, the Grand Canyon, Topanga Canyon, bacon cheeseburgers with horseradish, Georgia O’Keeffe, Grand Ole Opry, Gary Snyder, Gilda Radner, Radio City Music Hall, Big Sur, Ponderosa pines, Southern BBQ, Highway One, Kris Kristofferson, National Arts Club in New York, Ruth Crawford Seeger, Joni Mitchell, Ernest Hemingway, Harriet Tubman, Hearst Castle, Ansel Adams, Kenneth Jay Lane, Yuba River, South Yuba River Citizens League, “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore”, “Hired Hand”, “The Jerk”, “The Sting”, “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”, clambakes, lobster rolls, s’mores, camping in the Sierra Nevadas, land sailing in the Nevada desert, riding horseback in Canyon de Chelly; Walker Percy, Billie Holiday, Drag City, Chez Panisse/Alice Waters/slow food movement, David Crosby, Ralph Lauren,San Francisco Tape Music Center, Albert Brooks, Utah Phillips, Carol Moseley Braun, Bolinas CA, Ashland OR, Lawrence KS, Austin TX, Bainbridge Island WA, Marilyn Monroe, Mills College, Elizabeth Cotton, Carl Sandburg, the Orange Show in Houston, Toni Morrison, Texas Gladden, California College of Ayurvedic Medicine, Louis Comfort Tiffany, Saturday Night Live, Aaron Copland, Barack Obama, Oscar de la Renta, Alan Lomax, Joyce Carol Oates, Fred Neil, Henry Cowell, Barneys New York, Golden Gate Park, Musee Mechanique, Woody Guthrie, Maxfield Parrish, Malibu, Maui, Napa Valley, Terry Riley, drive-in movies, homemade blackberry ice cream from blackberries picked on my property, Lil Wayne, Walt Whitman, Halston, Lavender Ridge Grenache from Lodi CA, Tony Duquette, Julia Morgan, Lotta Crabtree, Empire Mine, North Columbia Schoolhouse, Disneyland, Nevada County Grandmothers for Peace; Roberta Flack, Randy Newman, Mark Helprin, Larry David, Prince; cooking on Thanksgiving; Shel Siverstein, Lee Hazlewood, Lee Radziwill, Jackie Onassis, E.B. White, William Carlos Williams, Jay Z, Ralph Stanley, Allen Ginsberg, Cesar Chavez, Harvey Milk, RFK, Rosa Parks, Arthur Miller, “The Simpsons”, Julia Child, Henry Miller, Arthur Ashe, Anne Bancroft, The Farm Midwifery Center in TN, Martha Graham, Alvin Ailey, Jr., Eleanor Roosevelt, Clark Gable, Harry Nilsson, Woodstock, and some other stuff. Buuuut, the ol’ U S of A can pull some pretty dick moves. I’m hoping it’ll all come out in the wash...

Are we all doomed?

If we keep our expectations pretty low I think we might be fine. I mean, we’re definitely all dying at some point. There’s no getting around that. But between now and then, things might start looking up!

— Joanna Newsom for The New Statesman, 2008

[arobinwithoutbatman]

((Alrighty! I'm showered and clean and teaching my hair to do it's wavy thing! Time to read through more of Knightfall! Volume 2 I believe I'm up to

OH. OKAY. JUST THROW BATMAN'S BROKEN BODY INTO THE STREETS!

Cool, Scarecrow adn Joker aren't seeing eye to eye, hate that. That's going to end in disaster when Bane has already fucked up the city by showing them Batman's broken body

...I'm sorry. Is Joker fucking IMMUNE TO FEAR GAS?!

Oof poor Tim. Boy is understandably worried about losing Bruce and Batman

--------

...sudden art style change? Like. Very scratchy and scribbly. Incomplete almost... either this is supposed to represent what is coming through to a comatose Bruce or this issue was rushed

Okay going back in time a little. 3 weeks previous

And Two Face is having an episode

And of course Bruce was all "Nope, you're not coming Tim, it's not safe"

--------

Yeha you really should have let Tim come along, you probably would've had some help in that water fight

Ah. Still mad about Batman changing the terms of their alliance whihc... entirely fair honestly

Bruce. Tim just saved your life. There were very few options to save you and keep Harvey alive and he had to make a split second call where there were no good choices

Oh thank fuck, Bruce woke up and even corrected himself and look at Tim sob! My baby!

---------

Oof, Bruce is understandably taking this so hard

Oh heeeyyyy Selina. Don't work for Bane. I love you, don't do it

Also, Shondra? Maybe you shouldn't kiss your patient? That's a lil weird

Time for Jean-Paul to step into the role of Batman for a bit though I do love that Tim's first thought was to ask Dick and Bruce immediately said "no he's his own person and has his own responsibilities"

Hm... little early to be thinking that you should spill everything to Shondra. Think on it some more first, Bruce

---------

Really? You're gonna trust that flyer? There's so many red flags here

Oh! And we're looking at virtual reality. Cool! This is not going to end well and given the cover art, Scarecrow is gonna pop up any second!

Hey Jean? Maybe don't immediately break all of those rules? Some of those are for your safety

Oh hey Lonnie

Okay cool, Scarecrow's doing some casual brainwashing with fear! That... typically doesn't work very well and has some awful side effects!

I mean... you're not entirely wrong, Lonnie. But also, you don't know that there's someone else under the cowl at the moment

---------

Hoo boy, the fear conditioning is... definitely something. It's holding for now and will continue to hold cause comic book logic

And Jean Paul, you're hitting too hard and this mantle is already getting to your head. You're desperately needed but you're 100% gonna flip shit at some point

So they're painting Scarecrow as a weird guy who was ultimately very poor and also kind of generally awful? And he believes people would've listened to him if he could hoard more books and he had money? Buddy... you literally randomly chase birds and shot flowers as part of a discussion about the psychology of guns. You had some other stuff going on

Ooohhh boy. Total chaos. And someone's lil gas container fell into the sewers. That's... ooohhhh that's a poisoned water supply and sewage line

Not surprised Lonnie knows how hypnosis and conditioning work and even uses those tactics themselves

-------

At least Jean Paul knows to keep himself in check. He can't kill whilst wearing the cowl and shouldn't kill at all

Oooohhhh shit, Anarky's gonna set off Azrael

Okay not entirely. He's off kilter but he... can't feel the fear fully? Oof

But he's definitely off kilter and he'd better take Tim out with him next time. He was willing to let a boy die to take out Scarecrow

---------

Scary in all the wrong ways isn't a bad description, Tim

Hoo boy, Jean Paul is gonna get into trouble

And all while Jack and Shondra are about to be held up in the Drake house with Tim out on patrol

You tried, Bruce, you really tried

And Tim you really need to tell Bruce about Jean Paul going off the rails because he's a danger to everyone including himself rn

------

Tim's so tired, he hasn't even noticed his dad is missing

Eeeyyyy Oracle! Barbara my Queen!

Yeah Jean Paul is definitely losing control

Cool Bruce, Alfred and Selina on their way to Bane's home. Tim's just found out his dad is missing and Jean Paul is absolutely slipping back into his old programming

---------

Snrrrk Gordon not expecting Jean Paul to still be there before he's done talking

Tim's so alone rn poor boy

...Jean Paul released them?! To follow them back to Bane?! Clever but wtf?!?!

----------

Hoo boy. You lived this time JP by pure luck but you're terrifying Gotham and wrecking the reputation

Jean Paul is definitely falling back into whatever his old programming was and he's just out for blood. For a crusade

Eeeeyyy Nightwing! Big brother to the rescue!

-.- You look like you stepped out of a mecha anime, my guy

Welp. Bruce is gonna have a hell of a time getting the city to trust him again when he's able to take the cowl back

He might have resisted the impulse to kill but I certainly wouldn't continue to trust him, Tim

----------

....I'm taking a test at the library tomorrow and then i might linger long enough to read the next volume if I'm not totally exhausted mentally

[graysonshmayson]

ok not a character playlist BUT some from my batman playlist:

song that is pretty accurate to the character's story

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls- Bruce + kids dynamic

All These Things That I’ve Done by The Killers- batkids,

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers- more batkids daddy issues

song that doesn't fit the character at all but i was thinking about them while listening to it on loop

Wonderwall by Oasis

Never Tear us Apart by INXS

Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger

My Own Worst Enemy by Lit

Renegade by Styx

Lukewarm by Penelope Scott

song that has one or two lines accurate to the character's story

august by Taylor Swift- Dick + Damian as batman and robin (specifically the parts about how "you were never mine" :( get it bc he's not dick's son)

Rose Colored Boy- Dick + Jason

Two Slow Dancers by Mitski- i think dick and bruce want to go back sometimes

Thumbs by Lucy Dacus- "You've been in his fist ever since you were a kid. But you don't owe him shit even if he said you did. You don't owe him shit even if he said you did". CMON!

mirrorball by Taylor Swift- dick grayson/tim drake trying to heal bruce "I'm still on that tightrope, I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me. I'm still a believer but I don't know why. I've never been a natural. All I do is try, try, try. I'm still on that trapeze, I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me". I've never been a natural all i do is try is especially tim drake coded.

song that just kind of is the vibe of the character

Lil Boo Thang by Paul Russel- Dick

Yellow Brick Road by Elton John- Jason

Bug Like an Angel by Mitski- general batfam blues

Blue Hair by TV Girl- Tim

Paper Rings/Lover by Taylor Swift- dick + barbara

Alíen Blues by Vundabar- jason todd

Feels Blind by Bikini Kill- stephanie brown

song that i desperately wish they would listen to because i personally like it

Vampire Empire by Big Thief

Christmas Kids by Roar

champagne problems by Taylor Swift

Cruel Summer by Versus Me- dick would fuck with this so hard

Happy Together (feat. Ray Toro) by Gerard Way

Seventeen Going Under by Sam Fender- robins specifically!!

song that fits with the character so well its scary

Rule #4: Fish Inside a Birdcage by Fish Inside a Birdcage- SO DAMIAN AND DICK CODED WHAT THE HELL. LISTEN TO IT RN.

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives- DICK GRAYSON ARE YOU KIDDING ME. "All those empty rooms, we could have been anywhere, anywhere else. Instead, I made a bed with apathy. My heart knew the weight, ten years worth of dust and neglect, we made our peace with weariness and let it be" is so good for like the harsher realities of being robin and being the son of an emotionally unavailable and mentally ill man. plus the whole concept? "I shine only with the light you gave me"? SO robin core because he gave them EVERYTHING and then they have to exist without them?

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother- very jason todd but more importantly

Would’ve Could've Should’ve by Taylor Swift- EVERY LINE OF THIS SONG is about jason todd!!! idc if you don't like taylor, if you like jason (ESPECIALLY catholic guilt jason like i do) check this out. I can't even quote specific lines because its so him. maybe in another post. I'll just leave this: "God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be, the tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind, regret you all the time. I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep, the wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign. I regret you all the time"

unsure why this song is in the playlist but it's so ingrained in my mind as 'part of the playlist' that it would feel weird to remove it

Harness your Hopes (B-Side) by Pavement

Rät/Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Creep by Radiohead

an additional genre i’d like to include is:

“this song doesn’t canonically related to the storyline of this character but it matches perfectly with elements of their backstory i have made up”

18 by Anarbor- OK so this actually inspired so much by @duckytree's take on teenage dirtbag dick grayson but in my vision he dates roy after moving out in his teenage rebellion era and bruce does NOT like him dating roy lmao. "long hair and tattoos"... and roy gets that its a phase but is super into it anyway and they party hard together. this is canon and real to me. there is no alternative meaning to this song.

Moving in Place by Shauna Dean Cokeland- similar to the previous, this is teenage dirtbag titans!! fucking around on a beach in SF. check this OUT: "The world just ain't ready for us yet, that's it" says the guy to your left, you would die for that kid. Watch his eyes as they get sorta distant and different, and we're moving in place again, we're moving in place again. It sure is fun to hate something you'll love when it's gone. This time, it's everywhere and everyone at once. From moving in place to moving on, to moving on, to moving on, to moving on". Soooooso titan's coded.

right where you left me by Taylor Swift- to most people this is just another t swift song, but to me, it is actually about how bruce is frozen in time in his head after his parents death and cant move on

Tim I Wish You Were Born a Girl by of Montreal- i am ur average TimBer enjoyer but the merits of TimKon cannot be ignored and this sososo reads as Kon lamenting about Tim after he gets with Bernard, my poor boy...

character playlists always should have the following:

song that is pretty accurate to the character’s story

song that doesn’t fit the character at all but i was thinking about them while listening to it on loop

song that has one or two lines accurate to the character’s story

song that just kind of is the character’s vibe

song that i desperately wish they would listen to because i personally like it

song that fits the character so well that it’s scary

unsure why this song is in the playlist but it’s so ingrained in my mind as 'part of the playlist' that it would feel weird to remove it

[vechter]

ok. just read batman and robin: year one (2024) #1 and my initial takeaways:

this was thing that surprised me the most. it's only been three weeks since mary and john fell? and dick's out as robin already? he seems to have limited training but that could just be how he's being written as an eager and somewhat impulsive kid.

there's a part of me that is wondering if there is an element to this where dick is putting on an act, because we get a couple of references to the mask versus person debate:

bruce's narration is extremely well written, especially this part, where you can see just how much he understands the grief of being orphaned and how much of that grief and rage still drives you:

sidenote: the art is stellar!!! like just look at how beautiful gotham looks here. chris samnee killed it. it's exactly what i want out of a robin!dick comic.

like this is soooo good, even when it's just shadow and light contrast. truly outstanding art.

love the element of dick flipping around as he talks— it is very true to his character. also love how you can see the beginnings of how sharp and intuitive dick is.

beginnings of bruce and dick banter!! big fan of bruce already being aware and impressed with dick's comfort and ease at heights. a little bit of uncertainty about how much of this is dick's relative crime-fighting inexperience and how much of it is the unfamiliarity of fighting alongside bruce. like it has only been three weeks!!! very accelerated timeline. has he warmed up to bruce that fast?

waid's definitely not shying away from how they're new as a crime-fighting duo and it's going to take them a while to get to that seamless partnership we all know and love. just look at these:

bruce being so effusive with his praise for dick... yeah that's that good shit. plus, we're getting some insight into how much they're still learning each other. also the colour palette here is amazing. the tone complements the events itself soooo well. love how they're being juxtaposed against the light like that.

it'll take a while for them to find their footing! but you can already see how much bruce worries. the panel in caps, with that overt and expressive body language... yeah, i love it. listen, i love a bruce wayne who has only known dick grayson for three weeks and is already beginning to show signs that he's never going to be normal about him:

mixed feelings on two-face as their first rogue but i do trust waid to do it right. there's a bigger evil at play so i'm definitely intrigued. the art for harvey was amazing as well.

bruce smiling here... hmm. some mixed feelings about this too mostly bc of how the accelerated the timeline is. like dick has seen his parents killed, apprehended the killer, probably been updated about gotham and what kind of city it is... so for him to have this much optimism about the stakes. but at the same, he did meet bruce, a good man who took him in and brought him justice. and ultimately, he is a child so maybe that optimism isn't out of place.

possibly, waid is building up to the dark and light element of batman and robin? also, look at dick's sad n droopy lil face aw man

anyway, this seems like a really good expository issue. i'm definitely invested. there is a bit of tonal dissonance (between what is said and what is being depicted) but i'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt here. good, true-to-character writing (although the art is the biggest selling point for me)

[halysborn]

❝ There are some people you can’t save. Cause those people will thrash and struggle and try to take you down with them. ❞

« @districtattorneydent »« NEIGH WAY, JOSE »

Harvey doesn’t like it when Dick asks too many questions about the cases he’s working. Or, at least, he THINKS he doesn’t like it. His brow furrows and his lips purse and there’s a moment of silence that stretches between the ask and the answer that Dick fills with A THOUSAND thoughts before one word is spoken. 

Ordinarily, Dick tries to REFRAIN. But THIS one has been ALL over the news, all over the papers. Everywhere he LOOKS, he SEES Harvey and this man. Everything he hears is Harvey and this man. He’s still not sure of what is going on, but he THINKS he understands. 

This man says he’s innocent. Harvey says he’s not. They’ve gone to court because Harvey speaks with a voice greater than his own when he wears his suits and ties and the shiny shoes that smell sharp. He speaks for so many people when he wears these things, and throws his shoulders back. Takes pride in what he does and how he does it. Harvey is GOOD at his job. 

But Harvey says this man is not innocent. Jim isn’t sure. They’ve argued about it, Dick has heard them through his door at night. When he’s curled up tight in bed and they think he’s asleep, they speak in hissing whispers to one another, and Dick WORRIES. It isn’t often that Harvey and Jim disagree. They always seem so happy. So safe. 

This man, innocent or not - is making trouble for them. 

But Dick, small circus boy in a city he is only just beginning to understand, wants to know why Harvey doesn’t think the man is innocent too. Why he’s trying to put him away forever when there isn’t IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE, as Jim puts it. 

     “Shouldn’t you try? If he didn’t kill       those people . . . he shouldn’t go       to jail. Right? Even if he tries to       ‘take you down’, isn’t that what the       law says? Innocent until proven       guilty?”

Of course, he doesn’t understand Harvey’s role in any meaningful way, doesn’t understand that he is EMPLOYED to argue for the state government. Doesn’t understand the political machinations behind these sorts of things, or the full and confounding extend that the law can reach when hairs are split to the Nth degree. 

All he understands is the conflict in the house, and what Jim is saying. But he wants to understand. He wants to learn more of what Harvey does, even if Harvey keeps giving him that LOOK.  

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I’d love for lil Dick to put together that Bruce is in love with sweetie on like day three and Bruce being flustered.

"Miss Y/N was prettier with her hair," Dick said, pointing to and old photo. One from Highschool. You're antagonizing Bruce, smudging a kiss on his cheek in the obnoxious glitter lipstick you're wearing, arms around his neck to make him hold you off the ground. And Harvey is on your other side, watching and laughing.

"She thinks so too," Bruce said, ruffling his hair, "let's not tell her that, okay?"

Dick nodded and looked up at Bruce, "She's still pretty. She's got a nice smile."

"That you can tell her," he answered, smiling a little. "She's like to hear that."

"B?"

"What, buddy?" he said, sinking into a chair, trying not to look at the mantle. He could still feel your lips on his cheek, not that you'd kissed his cheek in... a while.

"Why'd you never get married to Y/N?"

Bruce froze and blinked rapidly, cheeks darkening, "It's not- I don't-"

"She's pretty. And super smart. And she works super hard-" he ticked reasons off on his fingers and Bruce swallowed hard.

"It's not like-"

"Not to mention she's a Doctor and well on her way to an illustrious career," Alfred said backing into the room with tea things. "Not- of course, that that would make anyone a suitable romantic partner."

"Alfred-"

"And she's a doctor," Dick added, "And her perfume doesn't make her smell like an old lady."

"I've been asking myself why Master Bruce and Miss Y/N weren't romantically involved since they were 13," Alfred chuckled. "But If the spark isn't there- it simply isn't."

_____________

Alfred knew, technically, that he should probably go to act as chaperone. Bruce had been looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen since you breezed through the door. Smiling and sweet in a new dress.

But when he followed you out to the terrace, putting his jacket around your shoulders- he didn't think a few moments alone would make a difference. Not when you'd been alone so often before. And besides, Bruce had a bit of a romantic streak. Maybe a little moonlight and a new dress would coax him out of his shell- if he gave him the time that is.

"Young Love?" Jim Gordon said, gesturing to the terrace.

"It's atrocious isn't it?" Alfred chuckled, watching Bruce get flustered and pull away when you reach for his hand.

"You couldn't pay me enough to go back and try to flirt with girls at that age," Jim chuckled. "God they're terrifying."

"And I don't believe Miss Y/N will ever get less terrifying," Alfred tutted. He can't see your face, not clearly but he can see Bruce's. The sudden hardness around his jaw.

"C'mon," Jim said wincing when you hand him his jacket back and turn away. "You can still save it-"

But when you slip back inside, trying your best to pretend you weren't heart broken, Gordon winced.

"Damn," Alfred agreed.

"I'll talk to Bruce?"

"And I'll see if Miss Y/N requires a ride home. I doubt she'll want to stay after... whatever just happened.

[admiringtheskies]

Times B’s Asked The Rogues To Pretty Please Just Give It A Fucking Rest (For Robin’s Birthday), And Responses Received Accordingly:

1. dick’s 2nd - last birthdays as robin (look, bruce definitely did NOT think to do smth like this himself, so on the first birthday they definitely ended up on an extra-pointless chase after selina, and then alfred passive-aggressively judged him and didn’t make his comfort foods for a week) — rogues all went HELL NO, which bruce was pretty much expecting (though he is a bit disappointed in harvey); joke’s on all of them though, it’s not like that gremlin child actually WANTED to do anything else, besides his usual routine of using a crime-infested city as his personal jungle gym while terrifying grown adults for the millionth time, lol. [one thing the rogues don’t realize, though, is that they end up unconsciously suppressing some of the more offensive/darker jokes that they might have usually made without caring whether robin was hearing them, just for that one day a year. it turns out that JIM is somehow the only one to notice this pattern, and refuses to admit how much making that realization on dick’s 3rd birthday as robin cheered him up. it’s oddly endearing, dammit!]

2. jason’s 2 birthdays as robin — the rogues made bruce WORK for it, but they’d already known from the beginning that of Course they’d agree for the lil sunshine bird! the first year, bruce is cautiously optimistic, only to sigh and shake his head at the news of a riddler breakout in the early evening. jason did actually want to do something else w bruce for his birthday, so he’s a little disappointed, but puts on a brave face and insists that he’s coming, B, batman can’t just go out without his robin! but then they’re BOTH pleasantly surprised to find basically just a English-lit-based escape room, with only the barest of perfunctory attempts at hidden knives/poison/etc. that are easily avoided, that jason solves within 2 hours! (turns out the riddler’s also an austen and brontë fan, and he did in fact notice that one week when jason kept on slipping quotes and references into his snarky chatter. he found it endearing.) the second year when it happens, jason convinces bruce to let him sneak into arkham and leave a hand-drawn thank-you card a few days later — bruce enjoys watching the chaos when the guards find it.

(the year after that, everybody knows to be wary — and sure enough, the bat’s out alone for the first time in a while, beating down henchmen with a brutality that was only just recently starting to be tamed by the reappearance of his (albeit smaller and quieter) bird. riddler’s smart enough to know that doing his standard robin gift setup won’t be taken well, this time, but he manages to just craft a single riddle, addressed specifically to the robin. he gets handed over to the authorities in the same complete silence, but with at least slightly less of a beat-down than the rest of the night’s captures. the bright yellow sticky note with a carefully penned question ends up in jason’s room, carefully stuck on the wall right next to the two he’d gotten to put up himself.)

3. tim’s birthdays as robin — the first year, bruce can’t bring himself to ask, and for once alfred doesn’t push him on it. the second year, he does, but expects the response to be more similar to what dick used to get. he’s then baffled when they all immediately agree to no shenanigans, until someone explains that “christ, bat, please just go take ‘im to a- a fuckin’ theme park or somethin’, and maybe if ya actually manage to do some regular kid shit with ‘im he’ll calm down an’ stop being such a bat-level fanatic about fuckin’ with US!!” it was never gonna work, of course, but bruce certainly doesn’t mind having the excuse to try!

4. okay look do i know in my heart and soul that Best Girl Steph absolutely deserves a place on this list?? yeah!! can i think of some uniquely funny description for what the rogue response would be?? …apparently not! steph i’m so sorry ily queen 😭💜😭💜 (if you want a quasi-canonical reason for this, we can say that she became robin pretty soon after one birthday and had already been fired and/or quit by the next — to my knowledge this actually fits fine with the canonical estimated length of her robin-hood, it’s just kind of unsatisfying as a conclusion.)

5. and finally, damian’s birthdays as robin! — okay, so y’all already know that his FIRST birthday as robin (during bruce’s lost-in-time year) was an angst-fest. dick is struggling to hold on to the persona of the bat as is, he can’t ask the rogues. so he’s feeling all guilty abt that, and then there’s the fact that damian hasn’t gotten to celebrate a single birthday with his father: ow. damian, adorably, has reached a stage where he does notice dick’s efforts to hold it together, and does think to cheer up dick; unfortunately, what he comes up with is telling dick that a birthday patrol is much better than ra’s forcing him to fight talia no-holds-barred to check his improvement in martial prowess in the past year, which predictably doesn’t really make him feel any better. points to damian for trying, though <3. but his 2nd robin birthday is much better!! bruce is still being all shy abt getting to know damian, but one thing he knows he can’t mess up is the “asking the rogues for a cheat day” bit — until of course, the rogues laugh. in. his. face. (damian is the first one to really get the same reaction as dick did, back in the day — bruce does take a moment to briefly mentally acknowledge that it’s kind of cute.) many snarky comments are made abt how “they can’t imagine anything the kid would like doing MORE than a night of bashing people’s faces in”, and, well, they’re not entirely wrong, honestly! but also, it ends up being a bit of a quieter night anyways, that first year, so batman sees fit to allow robin a little extra time spent with the alley dogs and cats. and they manage to keep that bit of fun for the rest of damian’s robin run!!

Do you think Batman ever put out a notice to the rogues like “hey guys it’s robin’s birthday tomorrow can you not do any crime so we can celebrate” and they were like. yeah ok

[lilyqueenoffrogs]

My heart has been broken so here are some BatFam HCs😬:

There is old videos of Bruce roller skating with Oliver and Harvey

Duke has a drivers permit but no license

Damian watched Wild Crats

Tim has a bennie babies

Barbara can braid hair really well

Bruce knows how to skateboard

Alfred was in a band when he was younger

Dick can play the hermonica

Jason is allergic to bees

Alfred watches Judge Judy in his free time

Damian made peanut butter cookies for Alfred on Father’s Day

Steph took dance classes

Duke swears a lot

Everyone constantly saying “ow” if they bump into something or drop something

Lightsaber fights

Dicks history teacher didn’t like him and after dick graduate they thought they were free and then they got Jason, and then Tim, and Duke and Damian (the poor bastard)

Jason tried to get Damian to play for the little league team he couched but was turned down

Steph, and Cass play ice hockey

Duke is scared of horses

Cass likes soft pretzels

There is a picture of Dick mid jump off the stair case and Bruce desperately trying to catch him before he got hurt

Tim is good a raising plants

Pics of baby Jason covered head to toe in mud and Ace also covered in mud

Duke is great at naming constilations

Pics of puppy ace

Pic of Baby Bruce with no front teeth holding a praying mantis

Kate once burned off some of her hair so instead of just cutting off the brunt part she shave her head

Duke has a popular Twitter

Bruce tap danced when he was a wee lad

Steph wears basketball shorts under all her dresses

Tim and Damian built a treehouse

Damian is taller than Tim

If Jason didn’t die I think he would have just shot up in like freshman year, my boys growing like a damn weed

Tim wears skirts

Tim use to stay at the manor when he was a lil baby when his parents when away

The Drakes were originally from California and then moved to Gotham

Jason knows all the yo yo tricks (only cause he was trying to show Dick he was cool when he was like 10)

Dick used to babysit Jason

Jason picks up Tim and Damian from school

Both Tim and Damian have never been in a bounce house

Bruce hates the sound of velcro

Everyone loves brownies

Tim once had to pick up Damian so he came on his skateboard and brought Damians rollerblader so they could skate home together

Tim looks like a middle schooler

Okay I’m done, still sad but this was fun to do.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[cinnamoodles]

why must i be tortured like this 😭

the one and only loml anthony bridgerton for being brooding and also just overall hot and sharing my older sibling troubles.

peter parker my lil baby dork! such a nerd but he’s nerd hot ifykwim?

jason todd/dick grayson in one category bc they’re my dc babies

james potter my sexual awakening (also from hp, cedric diggory)

spencer reid is my babygirl and none else can say anything

honorable mentions: harvey specter, mike ross, harry potter, draco malfoy, steve rogers, bucky barnes, thor, tony stark, tangerine (bullet train), pietro maximoff, and wes bennett

tagging: @nix-rose @eviesaurusrex @lucy-is-never-logical @arrowheadedbitch @avgvstlover @budugu ++ open tag!

fictional men

are so fucking fine so whos ur top 5?

me, no order cus i love them all ;

aaron warner

grayson hawthorne

roma montagov

kaz brekker

atlas corrigan

npt ; @reminiscentreader @sunnieshineeeee @catastrxblues @bookish-phile @booksovertherapy @obbsessedfan @darlingod [ id safely bet that youd put cardan from 1 to 5 ] @novas2cool4u @bookish-swiftie13 @f4iry-bell @herondalesbooklover and anyone else !!

[cardest]

Tennessee playlist

I’m going to Memphis! This is the mighty Tennessee - Memphis & Nashville playlist. You can’t tell the story of rock n roll without mentioning Memphis. Mississippi and Nashville, such a great history of music in this region. Chuck D hits things off with the ultimate introduction. Hit play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_X9nesbW37-9FNLiJWOQ1f

This playlist has it all. Soul, blues and rock n roll. We take a journey back to the beginning of country as well, with Nashville and finish up at Dollywood. Hope you dig it.

Tennessee - Mississippi - Arkansas

001 Henry Rollins & Chuck D - Rise Above 002 Clutch -  Devil & Me 003 Paul Simon - Graceland 004 Isaac Hayes - Memphis Trax 005 Scott Walker - Thats How I Got to Memphis 006 AC/DC - let there be rock 007 Johnny Cash -  Country Boy 008 Chuck Berry -  Back To Memphis 009 Jay Reatard - Gree, Money, Useless Children 010 Lukah - Black Dragon 011 King Curtis - Memphis Soul Stew 012 Rosetta Howard & the Harlem Hamfats - Delta Bound 013 Nots - In Glass 014 Pere Ubu - Memphis 015 Loretta Lynn - The Pill 016 Howlin Wolf - Smokestack Lightnin 017 Rory Gallagher - The Mississippi Sheiks 018 Crime and the City Solution - Streets Of West Memphis 019 River City Tanlines - Met You Before 020 Johnny Cash - Going To Memphis 021 Al Green - Get Back Baby 022 Kim Salmon & The Surrealists - The Zipper 023 Booker T & the MG - Melting Pot 024 Pussycat - Mississippi 025 Boswell Sisters - Roll On, Mississippi, Roll On 026 Aretha Franklin   - Muddy Water 027 The Cramps - Garbageman 028 HASH REDACTOR - Good Sense 029 Optic Sink - Personified 030 Angry Angles - Blockhead 031 Big Star - Thirteen 032 Memphis Jug Band -  Going Back to Memphis 033 North Mississippi AllStars - K.C. Jones (On The Road Again) 034 Bass Drum Of Death -  Bad Reputation 035 Today Is the Day -  The Devil's Blood 036 Walk the Line Soundtrack- Get Rhythm 037 Jack White -  Temporary Ground 038 Jerry Lee Lewis - A Damn Good Country Song 039 The Homemade Jamz Blues Band - Rumors 040 Saving Abel - Pine Mountain (The Dance of the Poor Proud Man) 041 The Oxford Circle - Foolish Woman 042 Bobbie Gentry - Greyhound Goin' Somewhere 043 Reigning Sound - A Little More Time 044 NINA SIMONE - MISSISSIPPI GODDAM! 045 Laurie Anderson - Hiawatha 046 Glen Campbell - Burning Bridges 047 Dolly Parton - Hillbilly Willy 048 Elvis Presley - Guitar Man 049 Blue Oyster Cult - Divine Wind 050 Sammy Hagar - Halfway To Memphis 051 Izzy Stradlin   - Memphis                       052 Johnny Cash -  Run Softly, Blue River 053 Iron Horse - Unchained 054 The Cramps - Human Fly 055 Faces - Memphis 056 Jack Oblivian - Rat City 057 The Cooters - Bustin' Loose 058 Mott the Hoople - All The Way From Memphis 059 Dusty Springfield -  Breakfast in Bed 060 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Tupelo 061 Chicago - Blues In The Night             062 Crossin Dixon - Guitar Slinger 063 Strummin' With The Devil - And the Cradle Will Rock 064 Stray Cats -  Can't Go Back to Memphis 065 Elvis Presley - Suspicious Minds 066 Suzi Quatro - Can't Trust Love 067 Lost Sounds - There's Nothing   068 Ike & Tina Turner ~ River Deep, Mountain High 069 Neil Diamond - Memphis Flyer 070 Julien Baker - hardline 071 The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Memphis Soul Typecast 072 Isaac Hayes  - Groove-A-Thon 073 Otis Clay - Trying To Live My Life Without You 074 Tim McGraw - Don't Mention Memphis 075 Eric Burdon & War - Blues For Memphis Slim 076 Homemade Jamz Blues Band - Blues Train 077 Sweet Knives - I DON'T WANNA DIE 078 Cream - Four Until Late 079 Grateful Dead - Golden Road 080 Huey Lewis and the  NEWS - Function At The Junction 081 The Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf 082 Jesse Winchester_ The Brand New Tennessee Waltz 083 Dorsey Burnette - Tall Oak Tree 084 Field Music - Time In Joy 085 Jay Reatard -  Blood Visions 086 The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women 087 Quintron & Miss Pussycat  - Block the comet 088 Al Green - Let's Stay Together 089 The Mountain Goats - Getting Into Knives 090 Johnny Cash -  Tennessee Flat Top Box 091 Robert Pete Williams & Robert “Guitar" J. Welch - Mississippi Heavy Water Blues 092 MARY JAMES - MAKE THE DEVIL LEAVE ME ALONE 093 Ministry - Mississippi Queen 094 U.S. Bombs - Rocks in Memphis 095 Nazareth - Jet Lag 096 The Bar-Kays - Holy Ghost 097 Ty Segall - Despoiler Of Cadaver 098 His Hero Is Gone - Like Weeds 099 Jerry Lee Lewis - Memphis Beat 100 Generation X =  King Rocker 101 The Doobie Brothers - Wild Ride 102 Bad Company - Whiskey Bottle 103 Black Stone Cherry - When The Weight Comes Down 104 Buddy Miles - Memphis Train 105 Memphis Slim - Rockin' The House (Beer Drinkin' Woman) 106 David Clayton Thomas  - Wish The World Would Come to Memphis 107 Lost Sounds - Better Than Somethings 108 Alice Cooper - Ubangi Stomp 109 Tom Waits -  Don't Go Into The Barn 110 Hank Snow - Music Makin' Mama From Memphis 111 Phil Ochs - Heres to the State of Misssippi 112 Reigning Sound  - Your Love Is A Fine Thing 113 Pixies -  Letter to Memphis 114 Bob Dylan - Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again 115 The Colorblind James Experience - Considering A Move To Memphis 116 B.B.King - Rock Me Baby 117 Carla Thomas - B-A-B-Y 118 Aquarian Blood - A Love That Leads To War 119 Nights Like These - Scavenger's Daughter 120 Rufus Thomas - Walking the Dog 121 Clutch -  The House That Peterbilt 122 Lyal Strickland - O Arkansas 123 Don Bryant - How Do I Get There 124 The Sensational Barnes Brothers - Trying To Go Home 125 Squirrel Nut Zippers - Memphis Exorcism 126 Faster Pussycat - Tattoo 127 The Rolling Stones - Memphis Tennessee 128 Alcatrazz -  Sons And Lovers 129 Evil Army - Violence And War 130 Deep Purple - Somebody Stole My Guitar (Purpendicular 11) 131 Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs 132 UFO - Natural Thing 133 Thunderbridge Bluegrass Boys - Tennessee 134 Confederate Railroad - Queen of Memphis 135 The Box Tops - The Letter 136 Jerry Lee Lewis - Night Train To Memphis 137 Reverend John Wilkins - Trouble 138 Phil Lynott - Kings Call (feat. Mark Knopfler) 139 Old Crow Medicine Show - Motel in Memphis 140 Candy Lee- Here in Arkansas 141 Pharoah Sanders - You've Got To Have Freedom 142 Molly Hatchet - Mississippi Moon Dog 143 Rwake - Crooked Rivers 144 CARL PERKINS & PAUL SIMON - A Mile Out Of Memphis 145 Eddie Floyd - Knock On Wood 146 Al Green - Talk to me 147 Mush - Eat the Etiquette 148 PJ Harvey - Memphis 149 EX-CULT  - Clinical Study 150 Isaac Hayes  - Mans Temptation 151 Lil’ Jon & Eastside Boyz - Rep Yo City 152 Rufus Wainwright - Memphis Skyline 153 Stray Cats - 18 Miles to Memphis 154 Amasa Hines - Earth and Sky 155 Joe Henderson -  Back Road 156 Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash - Memphis Woman 157 Norma Jean - Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste 158 Fess Parker - Ballad of Davy Crockett 159 Assjack -  Redneck Ride 160 Brother Andy & His Big Damn Mouth - Social Lube 161 The Replacements - Alex Chilton 162 Ann Peebles - The handwriting is on the wall 163 The Highwaymen -  Big River 164 The Cult - Memphis Hip Shake 165 STEVE EARLE -  Hillbilly Highway 166 The BO-KEYS featuring OTIS CLAY -Got To Get Back 167 Rush - Tom Sawyer 168 Class Of '55: Memphis Rock & Roll Homecoming - Birth Of Rock And Roll 169 Hank Williams Jr - Memphis Belle 170 Sam Moore & Dave Prater - Soul Man 171 Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Bloc Bloc Bloc 172 Kenny Rogers & The First Edition  - Just Dropped In 173 Linda Heck - pictures of dead people 174 Carla Thomas - Sugar 175 Three Mafia 6 - Mystic Stylez 176 Osborne Brothers- Rocky Top 177 The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song 178 Wilson Pickett - Barefootin' 179 Dolly Parton - Jolene 180 Charlie Daniels - long haired country boy 181 The Civil Wars - From This Valley 182 Jill Jack - Gettin' On In Memphis (The Elvis Song) 183 Huckleberry Finn and His Friends - Opening title 184 Dead Cross -  Skin of a Redneck 185 Johnny Cash - I Never Picked Cotton 186 Old Crow Medicine Show -  Wagon Wheel 187 Isaac Hayes  - That love feeling 188 Aretha Franklin - I say a little prayer 189 Little Milton - What Do You Do When You Love Somebody 190 Howlin' Wolf - Spoonful 191 Weird Al" Yankovic - Money For Nothing / Beverly Hillbillies 192 The Oblivians - I'll Be Gone 193 OT Sykes - Stone crush on you 194 The Mad Lads  - Come closer to me 195 The Box Tops - Choo Choo train 196 Bobby Blue Bland - dreamer 197 Wanda Jackson - Rip It Up 198 Junior Parker - Love Ain't Nothin' but a Business Goin' On 199 The Nightingales ft. Tommy Tate - Just a Little Overcome 200  The Louvin Brothers - Satan is real 201 Overture "Big River" - (1985 Original Broadway Cast) 202 Ike & Tina Turner - Shake 203 Playa Fly - fly shit 204 Adia Victoria - Different Kind Of Love 205 Grateful Dead - Tennessee Jed 206 Red Hot Chili Peppers - Backwoods 207 Otis Redding - Tennessee Waltz 208 Nashville Pussy - The Late Great USA 209 The Paperhead - The true poet 210 Tomahawk - South Paw 211 Night Beats - Her Cold Cold Heart 212 Forest of Tygers - human monster 213 LOSS - All Grows on Tears 214 Charlie McCoy - Wayfaring Stranger 215 Dick Stusso - Modern Music 216 Eddie Noack - Aint the Reaping Ever Done 217 Jason & the Scorchers - Greetings From Nashville   218 Jasmin Kaset and Quichenight - A Single Right Word 219  Gospel Keynotes - Give Me My Flowers 220   WEEN - Scrape the Mucus off My Brain 221 Shannon Shaw - Broke My Own 222 The Jesus Lizard - Blue Shot 223 Eddy Arnold    - Tennessee Stud 224 Clutch - Pure Rock Fury 225 Today Is The Day -  Who Is The Black Angel? 226 Hank Williams Jnr - Tennessee River 227 The Dead Weather -  Bone House 228  Every Mother's Nightmare - Long Haired Country Boy 229 Motley Crue - She goes down 230 Waylon Jennings - Tennessee 231 Dolly Parton - Down On Music Row 232 Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon - Lets Go Burn Ole Nashville Down 233 The Byrds - Nashville West 234 Sharon Van Etten - Every Time the Sun Comes Up 235 Bill Anderson ~ More Than A Bedroom Thing 236 Dottie West - Route 65 To Nashville 237 Intruder - The Martyr 238 Johnny Cash - Smiling Bill McCall 239 Lynard Skynyrd - Workin For MCA 240 The Everly Brothers  - Nashville Blues 241 Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Elusive Dreams 242 Nashville Bluegrass Band - Im Gonna Love You 243 Ringo Starr - No-No Song 244 Hank Williams - Hey, Good Lookin' 245 The Lovin Spoonful - Nashville Cats 246 They Might Be Giants - James K. Polk 247 Commander Cody  -  Back To Tennessee 248 Wanda Jackson - Shakin' All Over 249 Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Grand Ole Opry Song 250 Tomahawk - Flashback 251 Megadeth -  Dystopia 252 Dolly Parton -  Train, Train 253 The Clovers - One Mint Julep 254 Trampled By Turtles - Whiskey 255 Tom T. Hall - Nashville is a Groovy Little Town 256 Muddy Waters - I am the blues 257 Foo Fighters - Congregation 258 Pavement - Strings Of Nashville 259 Joe Ely - Tennessees Not The State Im In 260 Waylon Jennings - Nashville Bum 261 The Charmels - As Long As I Got You 262 Eve Maret - Do my thing 263 SABATON - 82nd All the Way 264 Halfway To Hazard - Welcome To Nashville 265 Nashville Pussy - Go Motherfucker Go 266 Indigo Girls - Nashville 267 Snarls - Walk In The Woods 268 Steeler - Cold Day in Hell 269 Strummin' With The Devil  - Jamies Cryin' 270 spazz gummo love theme 271 The Cramps - Cornfed Dames 272 Saxon -  Solid Ball Of Rock 273 Al Green - Tired of Being Alone 274 Soul Friction - It's Out Of My Hands 275 Today Is the Day - Wheelin' 276 Jackie Lynn - Odessa 277 The Jesus Lizard - Nub 278 Bully - Where To Start 279 Sonny Boy Williamson II - Lonesome Cabin 280 Tomahawk - God hates a coward 281 The Louvin Brothers - Knoxville Girl 282 Tom Waits - Jitterbug Boys 283 The Evil Dead Soundtrack  - Bridge Out 284 Wanda Jackson - Thunder On The Mountain 285 Elvis Presley - Where Do I Go From Here 286 Booker T & the MGs - Back Home 287 Ezra Furman & the Harpoons - American Highway 288 Joe Ely - dream camera 289 Assjack - Tennessee Driver 290 Nashville Pussy  - We Want A War 291 Dwight Yoakam - A Thousand Miles From Nowhere 292 Hank Williams, Jr. - Knoxville Courthouse Blues 293 ZZ Top - My Head's in Mississippi 294 Nitty Gritty Dirt Band -  Honky Tonkin' 295 Dead Weather - Die by the Drop 296 The Black Belles - What can I do 297 Dolly Parton  - Cowgirl And The Dandy 298 The Secret Sisters  - I've Got a Feeling 299 Justin Townes Earle - Aint Got No Money 300 Tomahawk - M.E.A.T 301 Jex Thoth - The Places You Walk 302 Bill Carter - Road To Nowhere 303 Bill Dees (Roy Orbison back vocals) - Tennesse Owns My Soul 304 Karen Elson  - The Ghost Who Walks 305 The Who - Whiskey Man 306 Hank Williams III - Crazed Country Rebel 307 The Lost Sounds - I Get Nervous 308 Big Star - September Gurls 309 ZZ Top - Whiskey n Mama 310 Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down 666 Isaac Hayes - Hyperbolicsyllablecsesquedalymistic

Hit play: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_X9nesbW37-9FNLiJWOQ1f