#like.... its bad and a failure

[bunnieswithknives]

Thinking about his brain

[gin-juice-tonic]

I deleted that last post because frankly I got embarrassed. But ultimately, I really would like to know if the new journal pages are suspicious on purpose.

Them being fake pages made by Bill is a theory I believe quite heavily in, and in my opinion there's a decent amount of evidence for it. It feels percentage-wise very few people agree. But I guess I just want to say, it's not that I'm just out here grasping at straws to discount a book I didn't like. What we know Ford to be like, what we know Bill to be like, and most importantly what we know journal 3 to be like, those are what the theory is driven by.

When I first looked at TBOB for myself, I got to the second page of the journal pages and the perception that I was reading pages written by Ford himself was shattered instantly. It was not repaired through the entire rest of the pages. When I was sitting around at work later, the next day after I had finished reading, I was struck in my mind by a bit in Ford's final message. "He's making it all up as he goes along." I know people have different readings of the meaning of that line, but for me that's what made me feel like maybe there's something to all this.

Suddenly it wasn't just "This book sounds nothing like Ford..." But rather "Maybe this book sounds nothing like Ford... because it isn't supposed to." And I started realizing stuff. Like "Hey... wasn't Ford drawn super incorrectly here?", or "Could this part really have happened?", or "Does this page make sense to even exist?". "What is it that creates such a strong sense of dissonance to these pages?" I have kept digging into more and more of what felt wrong ever since.

If you read through them without feeling like anything was off, or if there was it wasn't something you felt to be important, it makes sense my theory would not be for you.

But I believe in it.

And if I had my own chance to ask Alex, I would.

(Update: if you haven't seen the additions I made to this post, I ask you read them too)

[ofswordsandpens]

I'm sincerely very happy for anyone who is enjoying the show but every time I see takes that the show has improved the book characterizations or that the book characters are underdeveloped in comparison to the show...

[frobby]

rin 1000000% has a list somewhere of things hes good at that yukio is bad at

[hinamie]

gripping bathroom counter staring myself down in the mirror i have Got to learn not to place all my sense of inherent value into my art how can i get it through my skull that i am more than what i like and more than what i make

[guayabana]

elden ring attracting so much attention from audiences that usually wouldn't touch a fromsoft game has been so annoying when it comes to discussions about its story.

like maybe ironic considering grrm was involved in the writing this time, but the response to elden ring & specifically SOTE feels very similar to what happened with game of thrones, where the story is pretty explicitly about the dangers & violence & cruelty inherent in certain systems of power, and 95% of the audience response is to look at that & be like "wow i hope my fave character gets to be the good ruler who fixes everything because they're so cool & nice :D"

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

[chronicblackdespondency]

why do all my dads play guitar

[weebsinstash]

Sigh but like ok, ATSV spoilers but, that scene where Miguel is chokeslammimg and saying all that awful mean shit, which is kinda justified because from his perspective what Miles wants to do could, as far as he knows, destroy an entire universe. Well I'm such a sucker for "ok you burned me and betrayed me and now that you want my help or forgiveness, you don't get it" as a trope, so

imagine Reader being in a similar situation and of course Miguel is even starting to kind of catch feelings. You get introduced to him and the society and everything is hunky dory for a few months but, the Bad Thing Happening now has to happen to you, and, you feel hurt, you feel betrayed, you feel like all semblance of choice has been ripped away from you. Wait, you mean this super cool but massive responsibility that took you from a zero to hero... was never supposed to happen to you? You're a mistake? Like imagine you're actually doing an amazing job at being a hero and then running away from the Society, an above average gifted spider, maybe even potentially a mutant, but Miguel pins you down and says those things to you to try and get you to stop and it. Breaks you. Suddenly nothing you have ever done has ever even mattered. Wait, so they preach this horrible thing about to happen to you, that you're forcing you to not stop, THAT'S preordained, but you becoming a hero, you trying to make something of yourself, THAT'S a huge fuck up, a mistake, not supposed to happen? You don't BELONG there?

Miguel eventually comes to your cell and tries to speak to you, but you're just quietly crying and refuse to look at him. You won't talk to Peter or Gwen or anyone else, and they can't even get you to eat until you're practically vomiting from hunger and even then, it's just small, untrusting bites. They try to apologize and cheer you up but you reject any and all forms of communication and especially touch, if any of them tries to hug you, you shove them back, suddenly furious like you're about to throw punches.

You break down sobbing when you're told The Bad Thing happened, and you're asking, can you go home now? You look right at Miguel, look right in his eyes, "so you guys are going to leave me alone now, right? I get to go home and never see any of you ever again?"

That's... not quite what they wanted? You're a talented hero, just a little green! Just because you're kind of, an anomaly, doesn't mean they hate you! This wasn't personal! They realize a little too late that this didn't "forge you in the fires of adversity" or some poetic shit like that, it RUINED YOU. You hate them, you hate yourself, you hate ever donning this costume and risking your life for others only to be told it was all a mistake. You did this because you thought you were making a choice, but how is this any different than being some kind of slave, expected to burn yourself out and suffer for others?

But unlucky for you, there's some canon events Miguel will need your help with in the future, and if that means he has to atone by sticking to you like glue and forcing you to accept his mentorship as he basically drags you around forcing you to be Spiderman, then that's just what he's going to have to do. And if you turn out to be some kind of special mutant or other such creature that isn't affected by canon or shifting dimensions like they are, then, clearly there's no consequence if he wants to scoop you up for himself, right? And that will just be another reason he can have the Spider Society hunt you down with him if you ever escape his clutches

But also imagine you were destined to do something like lowkey amazing like cure cancer or develop groundbreaking tech or become one of the greatest spiders who ever lived and they check back in on you and you've like. Sold a vial of your blood to Osborne or something and you get royalties from whatever drugs he uses it for and you're just. Living a millionaire lifestyle refusing to care about anyone ever again and dont even own your spider costume anymore. Just the punishment and pain and manipulation of them realizing that they should've done things differently and they might have doomed your world in a different way altogether but also feeling guilt because they changed who you were, they don't have that person that was their friend anymore, you look at them with either hatred or indifference and just want to be left alone, and Miguel decides, ok, fixing you all up nice and better is going to become a little passion project of his

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

[milkbreadtoast]

(random) ngl before i started learning korean i felt like the worst failure of a korean but now i feel like the best failure of a korean (/j) HAHA

like im struggling to speak but least im speaking..!! I feel like I've restored an essential piece of myself that was missing...

[ritzcuit]

yea capcom im sure throwing out two (2) corrupt people in the entire monarchy of khura'in will lead to lasting reform 😀

[puffpawstries]

I finally finished osomatsu san season three and my fav thing to learn about Ichimatsu is that he is considered as the childish one in the family??

[impostorsshow]

Going insane over yhs grian and time travel I've had a daydream for like a year now about the mcc hosting a special event where each team has a younger version of a previous event winner and the MCC deages and hosts a bunch of teens and young adults for a week to y'know make sure a deaged winner isnt too stressed out. And grian is the only winner on his team and although it would be okay to request to be put on a different team, grian assumes he can bullshit his way through whatever time period and that it'd probably pull from when he was on EVO and it wouldn't be an issue but instead it's yhs like a week after taurtis got hit by a car so he's an absolute mess that has been tortured by Sam and you do not have to be around that man much to be traumatized.

Grian is disqualified as soon as they find out he came from a permadeath world, much less had a panic attack over seeing smajor fall from a high place and they call in someone to replace him but it's too late now they have to babysit grian and like 4 other competitors that were just At the Wrong Time. essentially this would just pull from whatever knowledge I have but i am doing a binge of the series with a friend to reset my memory. Mostly, some key moments of this would go as follows [etophobia warning for the next part, or whatever it is the vomit fear thing EDIT CANNABALISM MENTIONED FUCK HOW DID I FORGET THAT]:

Grian covered his mouth, gagging and exiting the room as quickly as he could, turning down the hallway into a darker room and ducking over the trash bin, retching. He heard a sound to his left, and realized whatever room he had sprinted into had Lizzie and Joel in it [idfk], and god throwing up next to two adults was embarrassing. "Sorry."

"Grian! Are you alright? What happened?" Lizzie grabbed a convenient towel and offered it to the younger man, who took it and gratefully wiped his mouth. "Well, uh. Someone brought beef jerky as a gift for everyone and I couldn't stand the smell."

Lizzie and Joel glanced between each other, before Joel asked. "And what's with beef jerky? Are you really that picky of an eater?"

"uh." Apparently the light teasing was either not picked up or directly ignored by Grian, who just stayed quiet for a moment before covering his mouth with the cloth, only barely removing it to speak. "You wouldn't like beef jerky if... someone used it to ..trick you into eating your girlfriend-" and Grian turned and threw up again, hovering over the bin in the silence he created in the room because god that was a gross thought and stop thinking about it your gonna throw up again- Grian threw up again. He was going to need some water after this.

------------------------------

"Grian, how experienced are you with death? You seem to come from a pretty sheltered homeworld." Gem was walking with Grian, along with Etho to one of the training maps they wanted to show the younger. Something about jumping and swimming?

Grian smiled grimly, trying his best to ignore the thoughts that came up. "Uh, yeah. Very experienced, I wouldn't call my home sheltered in the slightest, it was incredibly dangerous. At least, high school was."

Gem grinned, patting Grains shoulder and Grain tried his best to suppress the shiver that came at the unexpected contact, much less from someone he barely knew. Grian wished he had his best friend here, but he was

"-die alot here." Grian caught the end of Gems sentence, blinking. "Huh? What about death?"

"oh, sorry, I was just saying you'll probably die alot here. It's really easy to fall off of Ace Races map."

"...uh, how far of a fall is it?"

"oh, it's not to the void, don't worry, theres a kill box down there far before you reach the void, don't worry."

"....okay." Grian didn't like the sound of falling, and with how casual Gem was being it couldn't mean actual death. But as far as he had learned from Japan, people would stab each other for fun, and getting a broken leg from a fall did Not sound fun. He would just have to take his time, even if it meant upsetting Sam the people who were teaching him how to compete. Why would the future version of himself risk dying after everything, anyway?

-----------------------------

And other iconic moments such as "Grain is Incredibly Aggressive at Rabbits and Also Deathly Afraid of Them And No One Knows What to Do About It" and "That One Trauma dump about Taurtis Getting Stabbed, Getting Into A Car Accident, And Essentially Dying That Every YHS Fanfic Has" I don't know why I'm advertising it it's just a daydream I can't write because I wouldn't be able to write a good enough variety of characters for MCC of all things

[nabaath-areng]

Honestly, having good days like this is good for me mentally. Because not only does it put my usual struggles into perspective, forcing me to accept that I have a tendency to severely downplay just how much they impede me... but it also gives me perspective about my self perceived laziness.

Like, the fact that I become almost abnormally productive and energetic compared even to abled people the very instant that my pain and all of the other issues are all gone? I'm not lazy! And I know logically that teachers telling me that over and over growing up was wrong, but it still shocks me in new ways to this day just how deeply ingrained this perception of myself is.

Like, is it laziness? Or am I just averse to doing things that will physically punish me? Today reminded me that it's very much the latter.

[the-kipsabian]

so. any specific kip thoughts on your mind? 👀

today in particular?

ARMS