#like... maybe I am stewing on Themes and Symbolism

[elizabethrobertajones]

trying to work out if there's any symbolism to characters having green/hazel eyes in Stormblood is futile... they all do. That said, Hien and Yotsuyu being unknowing cousins or half siblings would be the most tragic option. Hien being Gosetsu's kid because of his past throuple with Hien's parents is the best option.

Also funny: Lyse and Zenos are the blonde/blue eyes symbolically linked pair being youths competing for nations like she took all his whimsy and concern for other people in the (symbolism) womb. But if you throw in that Sadu is the other character with blue eyes, you just get a GREAT squad who would meet to brawl in the carpark at night, every night, in the Modern AU.

[lorenfinch]

Happy STS! A bit of a lighter question today! Let's pretend you're throwing a WIP-themed party. What sort of food would you serve? What would you put in the goody bags for your guests?

Happy Storytelling Saturday!

This is a fun question! Of COURSE there would be cocktails/mocktails made to look like blood. But as for other food, I'm honestly unsure. I am notoriously terrible at planning and throwing parties jfkshdfk. Well, there'd definitely be peach cakes served, for reasons that are currently spoilers. Probably the kind of food you'd find at a ren faire? Meat, stew, maybe some fun vegetable dishes for all the forest scenes. Also Ren enjoys fruitcakes and chestnut soup, so there'd be that served.

(Sidenote apparently fruitcakes were made illegal in Europe in the early 18th century because they were seen as the height of decadence and thus immoral? The laws didn't stick and aren't from the time periods I'm drawing inspiration from, but damn if that doesn't feel symbolic.)

As for goodie bags, I'm not sure? Maybe cute acrylic charms and stickers of the characters, and pins with the heraldry of the four vampire clans (the Night Terrors have a particularly fun sigil) as well as the monster hunters. Maybe postcards, bookmarks, or small prints too! Hah, travel postcards for the Everdark would be fun. Oh, so would travel brochures!

[redorich]

In the HermitCanyon au, How is my favorite Bee armored Admin doing? How long does it take for Xisuma to become.. aware of what is happening? For the first few sections it seemed like he was in a coma/unconscious. In the most recent bit Impulse tells Etho to get Xisuma, so at least theoretically he can now move, but how long has it taken him to get there, and where is he on the scale to full recovery? Are the other hermits keeping him safe with rabbit stew? (if they have rabbits that is...)

Part 2 of this.

Etho comes back twenty minutes later with a solemn look on his face. (At least, Puffy assumes. She can't actually see most of his face because of that mask of his.)

"X is in a bad way today," he says quietly. "I can take Puffy to him if you guys would like to stay here with Zedaph."

Impulse and Tango look nervously at each other. On one hand, they very much would like to stay with Zedaph, who is mostly healed but still very loopy and probably should not be moved. On the other hand, allowing Puffy deep into the Hermits' inner sanctum is a risk in and of itself, let alone with only one Hermit with her. Etho's a good fighter and a wily bastard, but Puffy is most certainly no slouch.

In the end, it comes down to trust. How much can they show Puffy before they can no longer trust that she won't snitch? How sure are they that she won't try to kill them all and steal their stuff?

"Tell Xisuma I said hi," Zedaph warbles from the bed in the corner of the room, out of any window's line of sight.

As Etho presses a button which removes a panel of the wall in a whir of piston noises, Puffy snorts out a little laugh. "I'll be sure to do that."

Tango nods subtly to Impulse. If Puffy brought Zedaph back to the canyon, saved him from a painful respawn, and didn't once ask for anything in return, then the Hermits can trust her at least this much.

Etho leads Puffy through a short hallway into a large circular room with a domed ceiling. The room is mostly quartz, though the walls are lined with sea lanterns and oak leaves. It’s beautiful. This place has been hiding under her feet this whole time?

“This is the Atrium,” Etho says, “or at least the main one. Come on, getting a mule will be more trouble than it’s worth if you’re not carrying anything.”

Puffy is speechless, utterly and profoundly, when Etho takes her through a tunnel on the opposite side of where she entered. It almost looks as though the tunnel here was carved by hand, then completely redone in dirt and grass and vines to give it a secretive, high fantasy look.

“Hey, Etho!” says a dark-haired man with a big smile as he comes trotting out of a branching hallway to the left. “Hey--” He catches sight of Puffy and his smile dissipates into panic. He shouts incoherently and dives back into the hallway he just exited.

“Hey Bdubs,” Etho greets impishly, then turns to Puffy. “Man, it’s like he saw a ghost or something. Maybe Mothman.”

Puffy bleats out a surprised laugh. Up ahead, she spots another Hermit lurking around the corner of the archway Etho is leading her toward.

“Etho,” says a tall blonde woman. “Cleo wants to talk to you about, er...” The blonde woman glances at Puffy. “Her thing,” she finishes lamely.

“Well, as you can see, I’m a bit busy at the moment. Would you mind telling Cleo so she doesn’t skin me alive?” Etho says sweetly.

The blonde woman snorts. “Face the music, Mothman. I’ll take care of Puffy from here. I assume you’re taking her to Xisuma?”

Etho wilts. Clearly, whoever this Cleo person is, she’s not someone to piss off. Puffy wonders what Etho did.

“See ya around,” Etho waves, somehow both cheery and morose at the same time, like a funeral for someone nobody liked. Puffy and the blonde woman watch him go.

“My name’s False, by the way,” the blonde woman says. “Thanks for the bandanna. Normally I’d be wearing it, but I just got back from beating up Iskall.”

The woman-- False-- laughs. Puffy is once again taken aback by the idea that the Hermits actually use the items that she makes for them. 

False takes off in a brisk walk toward the archway she’d come out of. Jumping a little bit at being torn from her thoughts, Puffy hurries to follow. It’s hard to keep up, since all Puffy wants to do is stare. She must be in the living quarters-- they let her in the living quarters?! Each door matches the high fantasy, underground sort of aesthetic, but a few doors are left open and each one is remarkably different on the inside. One room is built entirely out of red and white concrete, whereas another is Nether-themed with actual fire, and the room down the hall is entirely underwater!

One door is different. It’s got blue-purple banners along the frame, and when False opens the door for Puffy, she can see that the room is made of blackstone bricks. Maps of the Dream SMP line the wall, and in the center of the room there is a mildly ornate table made of warped wood.

At the end of the table in the back of the room, opposite the door, sits a trio. To the left, there is a plain-looking man with a beard and an “at” symbol on his shirt. He speaks in a Southern accent to a man on the right side of the table, who wears a red sweater and twirls a feather between his fingers like the cat that got the canary.

In between the two, at the head of the table, rests someone very unique. He’s obviously tall, that much is obvious even when he’s sitting down. He’s also got mesmerizing purple eyes which glow faintly against the dark of the blackstone. Puffy doesn’t know why, but she gets the feeling that they’re supposed to be glowing much brighter.

As taken by the man’s eyes as she is, Puffy doesn’t notice the non-invasive breathing tube the man also has (a cannula? She doesn’t know what it’s called, but that sounds right) until the man’s gaze falls upon her, still standing in the doorway next to False.

“Oh,” the man says. “You’re not supposed to be here. Welcome.”

False steps forward, breaking Puffy from her trance. “Puffy, this is Xisuma, Joe, and Grian. I’d introduce you to them as well, but... you know.”

“I don’t know-- oh,” Puffy says awkwardly, catching sight of the massive crochet blanket she’d made for the Hermit months ago, draped across Xisuma’s shoulders.

“Why are you here?” Grian asks with a tilted head. “No offense or anything, but I just lost a bet. I had three diamonds on Cub bringing you in here eventually-- he’s the one you usually meet at the barrel, you know.”

False interjects, “I didn’t bring her down here, it was Etho!”

“Shoot,” Joe says. “Cleo wins yet again.”

“It was Zedaph, actually,” Puffy says. All eyes turn to her. “I found him on the surface. He was really injured, so I brought him back here. Impulse and-- Tango? Yeah, Tango-- told Etho to take me down here.”

Puffy uncharacteristically twiddles her fingers a little bit, feeling in over her head. “Uh, you know I’m not gonna tell or anything, so... Why am I here?”

The full weight of Xisuma’s piercing stare falls upon her. Even as fragile as he looks, even as strong as Puffy is, she feels a jolt of apprehension.

“You’d know more about the red vines than we do,” he begins. “Etho mentioned that they’re what hurt Zedaph; he’s mentioned them on multiple occasions, and never in a good way. How long do you think it would take for those vines to reach our village, and what do you think would happen once they do?”

“As far as we’re aware, there are several players who are proponents of the vines, and claim they originate from some sort of egg?” Joe adds. “I’ve had a hard time calculating how big of a mushroom we’d need to make an omelet out of the egg, but apparently most of my fellow Hermits do not in fact want evil eggs on their omelets.”

“And how come the End is inaccessible?” Grian cuts in with a whine. “I want my elytra.”

Xisuma huffs a laugh into the cannula. “As you can see, we have many questions which only a native Dream SMP player like yourself can answer. In the interest of keeping ourselves safe--” he trails off into a coughing fit.

Puffy bites her lip, feeling as though she really shouldn’t be seeing this. Joe rests his hand on Xisuma’s back.

“You give us answers, and we’ll give you diamonds, netherite, whatever you want. And when we move out-- well, it wasn’t much of a secret anyway-- we’ll offer you a safe place with us,” Grian speaks up on Xisuma’s behalf.

A thousand thoughts spin inside Puffy’s head. She feels like Dorothy in that tornado, and Grian’s offer is the Wicked Witch. “Did you guys really save Tommy’s life?” she finds herself asking.

The Hermits seem taken aback.

“The blond kid?” False asks. “Yeah, but he was unconscious the whole time. I think Scar told the kid to keep us a secret, but... I don’t think any of us expected that to actually work.”

Puffy laughs disbelievingly. “He’s the one person on the entire server who keeps insisting that you guys aren’t real.”

“That’s good to hear,” Xisuma says quietly. “Do you have an answer for us, or would you like some time to consider?”

There are a thousand and one variables Puffy needs to think about. What is Dream’s stance on the Hermits? Who will she be setting herself against by allying with the Hermits? What will Puffy have to expect, from both underground and surface-dwelling players alike? Which players can she take in a fight?

Fuck it, she thinks. “You’ve got yourselves a deal.”

Xisuma smiles. Despite his ill condition, she gets the feeling that this nice, mild-mannered man is far more dangerous than she could ever hope to be.

“I’m glad to have you on our side, Puffy,” he says. “Thank you for your help.”

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 7X4 Defending Your Life

I'm making an exception today, because I've figured out QUITE a bit about my own stress response

oh right the monster Dean killed

also to recap: my period has every sign of starting(including cramps) but nothing, I've been horribly nauseous all day, I feel a hunger response when I'm DEFINITELY not hungry(stress eating and it's the only thing that makes the nausea subside) and headache(altho that could be the lack of sleep). Also emotions all over the place(Crying, happy, very on the hat etc)

and the WORST part is I can NEVER tell until I have physical reactions. I can NEVER TELL WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECTLY OK OR NOT FEELING ANYTHING

ooo chase scene

gHOST CAR

ooo good segway into intro

that cut coping mechanism does NOT seem like it's healthy

mONSTER OF THE WEEK

oh COME ON HERE's THE LYING

the visuals are cool

"license to kill"

no come on sam that was a good one.

"dead and sober, dead and crappy" no Dean, please, you need to figure that out

ah yes tortured soul

FL OW ER SH O P

that was suspicious

oh

it's just because she's dead and dead at 10

oh

the CAr

"makes you wonder if the guy who was drunk ran her over" *drinks beer*

O H H H H H HSIDOFAHPAS

GHOST RIDER

at least I know they're nerds, whoever wrote this

is it manifesting their guilty conscience

aw but the dog is so fluffy

*lies down, bounces back up again* lmaooo

Dean is Tired

didn't they DEAL With a ghost car?

it's people that kept going?

DEAN IS RUNNING ON SO MUCH EMPTY AHAHAHA

A H CUZ HE DIDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE THE GIRL HE KILLED

that took me as second

"If I ate apples" DEAN

also they're really doing license plate shots above how Cool the Impala is shots now, lil thing

"you won't even believe me" ahaha

...courtroom?

fUCKING NEAL'S TAVERNNNN

we kind of specialize in crazy ahaaha

"except that's complete crap"

"everyone judges all day long"

He just..takes punishment?

ahahah N O P E GREY AREA

no this is way more watchable

SA M SOUNDS SO TIRED AHAHA

*whispers* "stay put"

he DOES look good though

ok fine just gonna tune out the flirting

they ARE both pretty

is it that guy

the creepy guy in the shadows

how much is in scotch I have no idea

ah the red, what people were clawing

THAT'S NOT HOW OSIRIS WORKS but fine ok let's go

THAT'S NOT

ok fine

"it hones in on people who feel guilty, N OW WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE TO YOU" oh boy literally both of them got it that was hilarious

this does seem like he's talking himself into a role

the salt...might not work for osiris

shit she really is pretty

AH RED SAND ok ok yeah I see it ok

a h egyptian shit

ALL YOU NOTICED WERE THE SYMBOLS LMAOOO

THAT DOOR SLIDE WAS SO FUNNY

He's cool though, I like the pagan shit

"Sam, you're not a lawyer" "yes I was pre law" "pre"

"good one" "I saw that on the good wife"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

J O

oh no

the mining itself sucks but this concept is good

took his breathing away?

It reads a bit as excusing them for everything

She backs them up at least?

I miss her

see here's the thing, it kinda reads like they're out of ideas, but like...it's a good concept

ah so the stuff at the beginning was them showing their guilt

I like how he just says "them's the breaks"

yeah like Dean is ever gonna believe he's innocent

"dog food" oh they so desperately wanna say dog shit

"they want to be judged" echoes Dean

SAM IS TALKING COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS ASS

HE'S GETTING HIM OUT OF HIS GUILT COMPLEX OH THANK GOD FINALLY

"that it just...blows"

no one, including Dean, ever questions it, so the grief stews

oh

he does actually have some way with words

Dean please tell the truth

mate I get the impulse but still

dammit

ahaha Temporary but Long Temporary

"make sure it's a sharp piece" lmaoo

man I miss Jo

ah here we go

sam: u h

JOOOO

"you deserve better" on both ends

Dean Eldest Daughter Syndrome

"hunters are never kids, I never was"

he does Internalize things

that's why we kin

90% crap

"i get rid of that what then" "you really wanna die not knowing" HOLY SHIT

HOLYSHIT OH MY GOD OH MYGOD

ah the gas stove

"he's making me do this" oH NO

"just kind of faded...maybe a little bit happier"

hell was Sam's slate? huh

"I kind of feel good, Dean" I am glad he's happy, I don't know if I agree with the message

1. SAMMM. Dean was acting off the shits, so he had to step up and exasperatedly handle everything, and piece stuff together. Like mans is actually quite smart and quite resourceful when he has to be, and it's nice seeing that. It's also fun FINALLY seeing him lighthearted again, even if I don't like how.

2. Dean's guilt complex. Man internalizes a lot of things, and while they BARELY make sense(thin veneer, easily cracked) he hides it enough so that no one asks(and he represses so he certainly doesn't), and he can continue feeling guilty. Now here's the thing. He feels guilty, Sam doesn't, the middle ground is where they should be(taking responsibility) and they like...never do it.

3. monster of the week. No but having monsters switch to grey instead of black and white, and having Dean comment on it is SO good, because he's like...that Masculine Parody/Ideal depending on who's writing him, and like he was written to be the hero. any gray was always overridden by that. But with kripke gone, they start actually doing grey, and there's nothing simple anymore. Like I like with how off the shits it got, they still kept the theme of "it's more grey now" but like kinda for real(where Dean and Osiris said the same thing). ALSO, I think it would be useful as a scale back. I know they'll not do it because EVEN BIGGER DBZ LAZER is fun, but I think having more monsters of the week by choice and not "oh god we have runtime" would be really good, because that's where this storyline SHINES! it's got a lot of characters, a lot of lore, and a lot of issues to pick through, a monster of the week is WAY more effective than a longer story, and would help the scaling back issue.

4. pontificating about the season/why it's easier to watch. Like is this season as good/vibey? probably not really, but honestly I can actually stand watching it. Like it's very cringe in places but also, it doesn't hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable as kripke stuff does. It matches the vibe of "after work/school show" perfectly for what it is.

5. the vibes/Osiris. I like the idea of osiris and going to the bars, and the courtroom and the RED! SAND!! I got that one. But I'd also like to say that Dean saying the SAME thing that osiris said was like...he's not villainized, but I think they're trying to make him slowly grow as a character. It's like sympathy/he sucks kinda/we like him for him a sa character and I think that was really neat.

also barkeep lady pretty holy hell

6. it felt a little bit like excusing tho. Like if Sam is the good one, then it felt like excusing them of the harm they cause people. I want them to change their behavior! not beat themselves up over it or think it's fine cuz he went to hell because of it!

I'm so glad Sam is happy again but N O

7. J O. the "no autonomy, he's making me do this," the being able to see through things(and no longer hungering for something that she doesn't really know) (like...she wants SOMETHING, has it crawling under her skin but doesn't know what, and that's gone when she's dead) and that whole thing where she asked Dean if he wanted to die as a persona. Oh my god.

8. Dean persona. Yeah the whole thing where he had to convince himself to be a womanizer, the "I"m 90% crap line" OH MY GODD THAT HIT. That man is also a persona. maybe a commentary on american masculinity in general, maybe not. Also, eldest daughter syndrome, he internalizes everything and everything is his responsibility("I didn't get a childhood")

I feel like you can also make an argument how trauma makes you the extreme of something(uncaring for smol sam, internalizing for Eldest Dean), and it breaks your ability to do what you need to(empathetically do your fucking job and not be pieces of shit).

I see why this show was so popular amongst mentally ill people(myself included) holy christ

[gilbert-blythe-ruined-my-life]

Anna watches S03xE05 for the first time (warning: spoilers!)

Costume? ON

Wig? GLUED

Shoes? LACED

Face? PAINTED

I even have a red nose and my trusty horn on standby!

I’ve got my clown dress on tonight,

Dancin’ in my tent in the big spotlight,

Got my wig on real, big circus-clown style!

Clown shoes on,

I’m feeling alive!

I’m sizzlin’ like a snare and nothin’ scares me anymore!

MOIRA CAN’T HURT ME OR MAKE ME A CLOWN WHEN I AM ONE ALREADY MUHAHAHAHAHA

I’M A CLOWN

READY CLOWNS?

LET’S GO CLOWNS!

Here it goes!

Gilbert? In a bee keepers outfit? Okay! Not what I expected, but okay!

HOW HE TALKS TO THEM BAHAHAHA.

That honey looks so good though, ngl.

WAIT, IS THIS A REFERENCE TO THE BIRDS AND THE BEES????

The awae theme song is perfect circus-clown music.

MY SON CHARLIE.

MY SON.

LOOK AT MY SON.

Is Gilbert noticing??

TELL ME HE IS.

Anne is LOVING this lesson.

TILLIE AND THE PAULS.

BIRDS AND THE BEES

Who is spying on them??

RED BREAST.

MATING SEASON?

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH THE PAULS.

OH NO MOODY!!

DR BLYTHE TO THE RESCUE!

I swear they hurt people on this show just so Gilbert can show off.

IT’S A CHILD, THANK GOODNESS.

Did Ruby just faint??

THEY’RE KA’KWETS LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER.

When are we going to see Ka’kwet again??

When are they going to save her??

ANNE’S GIVING HIM A PIGGY BACK RIDE, MY HEART.

‘Fix him up good, this one buys my hockey sticks’, SCREAMING

Gilbert is secretly loving this.

POOR MOODY THAT LOOKS SO PAINFUL.

Is Gilbert going to get his passion for medicene back??

NO. KA’KWET IS NOT WELL AND HAPPY. I’M GOING TO CRY.

Bash and Delly!

YAY GILBERT HAS HIS PASSION BACK AGAIN.

‘I can tell you one thing, you’re dripping stew’ BASH I LOVE YOU.

Rachel and Delly? The duo I didn’t know I needed!

OH NO RACHEL’S BACK.

I COULD FEEL THAT.

OH NO.

OH NO.

OH NO.

 PLEASE DON’T TRY TO PUT BASH AND MISS STACEY TOGETHER EMMA WOODHOUSE 2.0

JERRY

Where are my Jerry and Anne scenes??

DIANA KNOWS ABOUT CHARLIE AHAHAHA

‘Here, here! Gilve me Red-breasted Nut hatchers or give me death!’ I LOVE YOU DIANA MY BABY GIRL.

WE ARE BEING SO FED THIS SEASON WITH ANNE X DIANA CONTENT. IT’S WHAT WE DESERVE.

GUYS IS THIS GONNA BE THE SCENE WITH DIANA AND JERRY IN THE TRAILER?

IS THAT WHY JERRY DECIDED TO LEAVE EARLY??

IT IS.

IT IS, IT IS, IT IS!!

HE’S GOING TO WALK HER HOME.

NO DIANA, DON’T MAKE HIM GO HOME.

Jerry taking the hay off of his jacket to show the differences in their status. I SEE YOU SYMBOLISM.

‘I’d prefer that we continue…’ YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

YES!!!!!!!

JERRY IS SO SMITTEN, LOOK AT HIM!!

SO THEY CALL THEM “THE PAULS” AS WELL. WE WERE RIGHT GUYS!

GUYS, MY FIC PREDICTED GILBERT BEING INTERESTED IN MEDICAL RESEARCH.

IN MY FIC HE’S INTERESTED IN ANTIBIOTICS.

GO READ MY FIC ON AOOO.

I’LL SHARE THE LINK AFTER.

An obituarary for Mary!

THE SHIRBERT STARE AHH.

NO DIANA DON’T.

OH.

OH. OH.

ANNE’S ON THE BOARD.

AND GILBERT IS THERE TO HEAR IT.

DID I WRITE THIS FIC????

‘Billy has two left feet and they both smell awful’ AGAIN. WE STAN JANE ANDREWS.

NO RACHEL, IT’S TOO SOON.

‘It’s time you remarried’ NO.

GIVE MY SON A CHANCE ANNE.

DON’T BE SO RUDE.

MY SON IS A CATCH.

‘The bride of boredom’ ANNE DON’T SLANDER MY SON LIKE THIS.

DIANA IS ENGAGING IN HER FORBIDDEN ROMANCE AND SHE’S NOT EVEN TELLING ANNE. THIS IS SCANDALOUS. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DIANA BARRY? I LOVE THIS!!

Why is Jerry not there??

THERE HE IS!

THIS IS SOME REAL FORBIDDEN ROMANCE TYPE STUFF.

THIS IS LIKE A FANFIC.

‘If anyone saw us!’ I FEEL LIKE A GHOST WROTE THIS FANFIC.

Yay, Bash said yes to the obituary!!

BELLE IS GONNA GIVE BIRTH SOON AHHHHH.

‘A nice cup of tea will set things right’ TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN, MATTHEW.

Gilbert will write a beautiful obituary, I hope they read it to us!

DIANA IS READING FRANKENSTEIN!!

RACHEL’S SON IS GONNA PRACTICE THE DANCING WITH THEM. THIS IS GONNA BE GOLD.

ANNE AND RUBY’S FACES. I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS EPISODE TO BE GIFFED.

RACHEL’S SON I CAN’T. POOR MISS STACEY.

Guys, the kids are going to dance. This is it! 

SHIRBERT.

SHIRBERT, I CANNOT.

THIS IS SUCH A MESS.

JANE I LOVE YOU.

GUYS LOOK AT JANE.

#WESTANJANEANDREWS

‘Whose the father!?’ TILLIE. WORRYING ABOUT WHICH PAUL IS THE FATHER? I CAN’T!

IS RUBY GONNA LIKE MOODY NOW? ABOUT TIME!

SHIRBERT.

THEY CAN’T TAKE THEIR EYES OFF OF ONE ANOTHER!

THE WAY GILBERT GRABBED ANNE. I CAN’T. I CANNOT.

THANK YOU MOIRA.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

MAYBE I CAN START TO TAKE SOME MAKE UP OFF?

THEY’RE SO CUTE I’M CRYING.

GUYS THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

GUYS.

I’M SO HAPPY.

I’M SOOOOOOO HAPPY.

THE SLOW MOTION.

GILBERT’S FACE.

SAVE ME.

I’M SO HAPPY. THANK YOU MOIRA.

I’M GONNA TAKE MY MAKE UP OFF.

AND WIG.

BUT THE CLOWN COSTUME STAYS ON.

THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.

POETIC CINEMA.

I’VE NEVER SEEN SUCH BEAUTY.

IN ALL MY DAYS ON THIS EARTH.

I WILL NEVER RECOVER.

EVERYTHING’S CHANGED NOW.

NO GILBERT. I wanted you to chase after her!

Has he gone after her?

NO. IT’S MY SWEET SON. CHARLIE SLOANE.

‘Oh, Charlie’ PLEASE BE NICE, ANNE.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUUUUUUUSE ME.

CHARLIE YOU ARE MY SON NO MORE.

I DISOWN YOU.

I DISOWN YOOOOOOU.

‘An overly active mind causes women to be barren’ I KNOW HIS FATHER PROBS TOLD HIM THAT BUT WHAT. EW. 

ANNE, MY BABY, MY FIRST CHILD, MY BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER, YOU WERE RIGHT. 

‘If I feel something for a girl, does it mean that she’s the one that I should marry?’ YES GILBERT. YES IT DOES. MARRY ANNE.

DIANA IS AT THE CUTHBERTS TO SEE JERRY.

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

ANNE’S SEEN HER.

OH BOY.

OH NO.

THE ANGST.

DIANA’S PRETENDING THERE’S NOTHING BETWEEN THEM.

DID DIANA LEAVE THAT HANDKERCHIEF FOR HIM?

YES!!!!!

YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!

‘Unless there’s rough ground!’ JANE SHADING JOSIE ABOUT HER WALKING HOME WITH BILLY.

Guys, this is so silly. Anne ALREADY knows how baby’s are made. AND THE GIRLS HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA TOO. Remember S1? When they were disgusted about what Anne had seen/heard? THIS IS A CONTINUITY ERROR.

ANNE’S GOING TO ASK GILBERT ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. WHAT.

YES THEY’RE READING US MARY’S OBITUARY.

IMA CRY.

‘That’s your mama’ STOP. PLEASE. STOP.

YES BARRY’S, FINALLY!

Okay but what are the girls doing?? Their parents are gonna kill them!

THEY’RE HOLDING SOME SORT OF PAGAN RITUAL.

THIS WHOLE THING IS WILD

‘How I love being a woman!’ MY BABY ANGEL. IF THE WRITERS TOUCH HER I WILL - 

BELLE HAS HAD HER BABY.

AH THE BEAUTY OF IT!!

GUYS I WASN’T AS MUCH OF A CLOWN AS I THOUGHT I WOULD BE. 

I WAS ONLY PARTLY A CLOWN!

YIPPEE!!!!

[keen2meecha]

Novel Prep Tag: gifted

Thanks for tagging me, @aziz-writes! You’re a gem as always!

Note: I’m talkative, so most of my side comments are crossed out don’t mind me

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

After nearly failing the application test, a young girl rejected by a superpowered society for not having a superpower* of her own is accepted into Falks, a school that teaches kids how to be superheroes. But after an attack on the school nearly kills her and her classmates, she must learn to work with her new friends before one of her oldest friends is lost forever. 

(*’superpowers’ in this universe are called Gifts, and those who have them are called Gifted. The minority who don’t have Gifts are called Ungifted. The title is ironic and also a reference to a running joke Sofia has with herself)

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Novella, single book, book series, etc.)

It’s the first book in a series! Right now I have four books, but since I’m a chronic overwriter, that may or may not have to be extended to five books.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Honestly? Aesthetics aren’t really my thing, so I’m not sure. Maybe soft warm colors, that surprised flutter in your chest when someone gives you a thoughtful present, the ache after yet another workout, that scratchy feeling in your throat when your right on the edge of crying but no one else can tell? This started out as a lighthearted superhero story I swear-

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

If you’re an anime fan, you’ll probably look at the general premise of this and some of the basic details of some of the characters and go “Wait a second, that’s a lot like My Hero Academia” and listen. I know. It’s not the same plot though, I promise! Really, at this point, I’d like to think that it’s undergone so many changes that the two are pretty decently removed, but *shrugs*. I’m not as pressed about it anymore. 

I was also loosely inspired by Harry Potter, simply because my book also takes place throughout a school year, so I’m using Harry Potter as a frame of reference for pacing (theoretically). That being said, trans rights and fuck JK Rowling am I right?

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for the novel

For the sake of saving space, I’ll not do that this go around. But imagine fireworks, a freshly brewed cup of tea, and an overwhelmingly expensive weight room and you’ve got a pretty good image of three important things in this book.

Main Characters

6. Who is your protagonist?

Sofia Smith! The Ungifted girl with a chip on her shoulder! Also an utter jock who usually wears athleisurewear and trust me, I’m as thrilled as you are about that. I don’t work out! I don’t even know what a healthy workout routine looks like! What have I done-

7. Who is their closest ally?

I’d say it’s a toss-up between Leona Kita, a girl she meets during the application tests who quickly becomes her new best friend and is not all that she seems, and Romilly Quirke, a teacher at Falks with whom she develops a close mentorship and is not all that she seems

8. Who is their enemy?

In the beginning, it’s Kyran ‘Kruze’ Cinege, Sofia’s childhood friend-turned-enemy. However, the turning point of the novel is when it’s revealed that while she and Kruze are always fighting (physically or not), there’s someone out there who’s actively trying to kill her and that person might be a more pressing threat than Kruze.

You may also see me occasionally mention The Prophet’s Daughter, who, like all of the important antagonists in this series, hilariously still doesn’t have an actual name. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

9. What do they want more than anything?

To become the top Hero it’s not bnha you weeb

10. Why can’t they have it?

She’s Ungifted, so no one believes she can do it. Not only that, but also every single other person in her class at Falks is highly qualified - they’re the most promising kids in the country, after all - and also highly motivated to do the same, so she’s got... a lot of competition.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That she can hold up the weight of the world on her own - worse, that she has to hold up the weight of the world on her own. Among other things

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Not an artist, but I can freely say that Sofia’s face claim is Amandla Stenberg (especially Hunger Games era Amandla Stenberg because, you know, high school).

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

She’s desperately lonely, but to admit she needs other people is to admit weakness, and to admit weakness is to admit defeat - something she absolutely cannot do. I mean, not really and it’s okay to ask for help, but she doesn’t know that. We’re working on it.

14. What is the external conflict?

Sofia is fighting the entire world to become a Hero and also someone is trying to kill her and her classmates. 

Oh and each book revolves around her relationship (platonic or otherwise) with one of what I call the ‘core five’ changing and developing in a radically game-changing way. In this book, it’s her and Kruze struggling to come to terms with elements of their past and maybe overcome their conflict to become friends again...? Except their both stubborn assholes and have been fighting for so long they can’t remember how to exist in the same room without one of them blowing up eventually (literally, in Kruze’s case) (I’ll probably talk more about the core five in a different post tbh)

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Oof. Well. If someone died on her watch, that’d be pretty bad for her. Good thing that’ll never happen though! Haha...ha...hm.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Of this story? Shit maybe they weren’t after me after all. The story as a whole? Wait, you’re my what?

17. Do you know how it ends?

I actually have the epilogue of the last book already planned out! I will cry when I actually write it. But the end of the main plotline? Eh... I know who all is involved, and what all of the characters have evolved into at that point. But how Sofia and co. actually defeat the BBEG? I am... less sure.

18. What is the theme?

In this book specifically: it’s okay to step back and ask for help when you’re struggling - just because you can’t do it on your own doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be where you are.

In the overall series: something something found family something the power of friendship.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Oh damn, this is a really good question. In fact, since I’m still in first draft mode (although I did write maybe a good quarter or so of a zero draft) I don’t think any have really emerged that I’ve noticed yet? But I guess I’ll come back and update this if I think of anything.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

It’s set in a very fancy, very modern private school that’s on the edge of a city somewhere near Washington D.C. I’m... not great at describing environments/settings, though, so that’s all you get haha

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Oh yeah, plenty. I have this whole book outlined, actually, on a chapter-by-chapter level! I got excited and also bored during my three-hour-interim between classes, and there was a whiteboard just asking to be filled... I even have some disconnected scenes from future books floating around in my mind - some incredibly emotional and poignant, some glorified shitposts. Ah, writing. It’s such a magnificent hobby.

22. What excited you about this story?

The characters! No joke, there are sixteen kids in the Falks class including Sofia, and every single one of them has their own complex backstories, motivations, and character arcs - not to mention I’ve spent a significant portion of time outlining each of their Gifts and figuring out how exactly they work. I could ramble about any of them for hours.

And that’s not even mentioning Sofia’s family, the villains, the teachers... I just really love every single character in this book!

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Step one: watch or read something. Anything. A movie, another book, a commercial, a music video, a tiktok, I’m not kidding just about anything will do. Step two: think ‘oh, I could do that better’. Step three: jot down some early lines or general ideas. Step four: leave it to stew for a little while as you think ‘oh jeez maybe I can’t do it as well as I thought’. Step five: get suddenly inspired on it and feverishly carve out several rough chapters. Step six: let it stew some more. Step seven: get newly inspired, realize how much has changed in your mind about that earlier draft, call that the zero draft, and actually do an outline this time. Step eight: ...Write it for realsies this time!

Whew, that was a doozie! Super fun though! So, according to the rules, you’re supposed to tag the same number of people as questions you answered. So there are 23 questions, and it turns out I’ve got exactly 23 people who (I don’t think) aren’t opposed to tag games, so here, have something besides a last line tag for once! Enjoy!

REMEMBER! You are under no obligation to do this - especially since this one can seem overwhelming. I’ll be thrilled if you do it, but I won’t be disappointed or upset if you pass.

Anyways, tagging: @alcego-writes, @alanwrites, @ajbrooks-writes, @evergrcen, @jewellsfrommaruss, @brookswriting, @signedjordan, @writhoelogy, @the-violet-writer, @dustylovelyrun, @linarious, @cookiecutterwrites, @honeyprincerising, @acaptainandhisrunaway, @angelolytle, @dogwrites, @mxxnwishes, @magicalwriting, @bisexual-in-progress, @writerfae, @ocmaker, @fullydevoted, @hanboggsbooks

[archer3-13]

FEH Villains Ranked

from best to worst, excluding book 4 cause its still ongoing

lif: genuinely surprised me by being an alfonse with pathos. well he started book 3 as a kinda generic number 2 type, the revelation of his identity as alfonse (though rather obvious at that point) as well as his goal of essentially destroying other worlds as a penance to restore his own is both suitably threatening and tragic. Creating that sense of pathos i mentioned that works so well for him, especially when hes shown to still be a kind person at heart thats been pushed into such horrific actions because of the devastation he had to endure. Especially when you consider that hes carrying the weapon that could kill hel with him which, although kinda lazy that he just has it, is a) a hel of a lot less contrived then anything book 2 pulled off and b) further deepens that sense of pathos when we consider that not only is it a memento of ‘player san’ and presumably everyone else hes lost but that it can also represent, in a way, a symbol of his own failure of will and bowing the knee to hel. Him prioritizing his own happiness and fulfillment in the form of hel resurrecting his world over the good of the ‘fe multiverse’. Point being, its a complexity of character that I honestly wish we got to see more of, and one I really wasn’t expecting from fe heroes given its track record. you’ll see what i mean down the road.

hel: well not terribly complex in motivation, she basically just wants to kill everything to increase her own power, she gets points for a strong presentation and utilization within the story book 3 creates. The limitations on her insta death power being kinda silly aside, though gustavs gambit to circumvent that i honestly really like more so then alfonses rules lawyering, the overhanging presence she has in the lives of book 3′s characters works really well and the pressure to defeat her because of her effectively endless legions works better as an overhanging threat anyways. When I say presentation though I mean more so in how her words, actions, and motivation intersect because well her words on the face of it have the usual villain posturing, her motivation and actions (such as her relation to eir and her generals, and the world she rules over and created) creates an interesting intersection where one can argue that her posturing words are empty of any true feeling. Shes cold and lifeless like the dead she rules and the world she creates, those around her are simply tools to an end but hardly in a cackling manner and more so in the unthinking manner one treats a toothpick. she gets angry or shocked but even then its in a muted manner, almost performing the emotions rather then truly feeling them. Hel lives in an unchanging world, a stillness brought on by the finality of death, and in a way one can argue that its her unspoken desire to spread that stillness, that perfect unchanging world she controls, to every world. Like lif, its a degree of complexity that I wish we got to see more of, especially in her case, and its something i honestly wasnt expecting from heroes.

helbindi: solely because the man goes through a lot of shit, and is an effective portrayal of a sympathetic villain. Hes effectively a camus if a camus was foul mouthed and more thuggish and that works for him, and is rather endearing in its own way when he acts concerned for his little sister and does the ‘im a thug who hugs kittens when no ones looking’ routine which i like when its done well. point being, he could have been a generic thug but hes a lot more interesting for not being one. However, his general pointlessness to the story, aside from giving us an indication that shock of shocks surtrs a shitty king and an excuse to escort ylgir around places who also does jack shit in the story... heroes is always going to suffer from having to compress its story telling but that fact they waste so much time with helbindi and ylgir and hrud when so much of what they do is either unnecessary to the story or themes present in book 2 or could have been given to other characters and make those characters better for it... helbindi gets to be up here for sympathy points and favoritism, but i am stretching here for ya mate.

thrasir: stronger character wise then helbindi, an interesting relation to lif of enemies turned into close friends over a shared trauma and servitude, plays into some of the same strengths of hel and lif that make them so engaging, yadda, yadda, yadda. So why is she below helbindi? because she doesnt get to do anything, and only starts to get interesting right before her death. If she had been given a bigger role comparable to lif, or just more time to stew in her own motivations she’d easily surpass helbindi. its also not helped that thrasirs own desire to resurrect her brother is similar to veronicas pre established selfishness, which isnt as strong a contrast as lifs selfishness and guilt against alfonses character. Her relation to lif does hint at a stronger sense of kidness and morality instilled within her because of that relation, which is interesting and would make a strong contrast against veronica, but again we get like five seconds of it before shes killed off and then a little more of it again at the end. Deserved more time on screen then she got, and would have probably been number 2 here if she had gotten it. 

veronica: bratty child becomes evil sorcerer emperor, more at 11. I like the concept of veronica, its something fes never really touched on much aside from maybe a little bit with julius with his more childish antics. Veronica however cranks that up a lot more, shes impatient and gets bored easily, she wants more friends but in a selfish ‘friend is someone who does everything I want right?’ way, shes emblas ruler and she has the emotional maturity of an evil 10 year old and i just kinda like it. Especially since she tempers it with an air of sophistication and intelligence, much like the classic evil sorcerers fe loves to utilize in villain roles, and it helps balance out the bratty child from being too annoying in the villain role. It helps lend a sense of her trying to present herself as a grown up for the respect and authority that brings, well simultaneously maintain all the perks of being a kid who gets everything she wants. It’s a shame then that the narrative keeps sidelining her, either by focusing on other villains, her god damn brother getting in the fucking way, or with the overhanging implications of magic dragon possession being the root cause of her behavior. I can forgive the magic dragon possession though since that is an fe staple and could works towards more interesting character aspects rather then undercutting her. Regardless, she sure is great when things are actually about her, and i really wish things would get back to being about her.

Laegjarn: solely here because she loves her sister, shes rather flat as a character otherwise. It would have been one thing if she displayed a sense of brutality instilled in her by a childhood being raised by surtr, only dropping the shell when it came to her sister and reigning herself in for the sake of that one familial bond she treasures... instead shes just kinda nice and loves her sister, and yet still works for surtr for some fucking reason. @agoddamn and @ezralahm mention an aspect of learned helplessness to xanders character in fates that people tend to gloss over (heaven knows why, cause its fairly in your face even in the english translation), and that should be something that comes across in laegjarn, but its doesnt really. not as much as it should anyways. Another victim of book 2′s pointless writing.

loki: evil sexy lady with big boobies and a one leg cutout tights pants thing. heres someone who can transform into anyone, and yet she never really does anything with it. oh she does ‘things’, just not things that have much point to them, or really feel like they fit into some larger scheme. she’d be right at home as a recurring villain in an episodic story, coming up with some inane scheme for todays episode that gets foiled and she gets sent ‘blasting off again’. I dont necessarily hate the sexy seductress character, the noire bombshells and the like, they can be fun when done well. loki just doesnt do it well, coming off as more grating and annoying then tempting honestly, and as a villain she lacks anykind of actual menace. My feelings on her are similar to my feelings on aversa honestly, heres someone who should be so cool and threatening, a real menace to the heroes using their skills and abilities behind the scenes to move threats against the heroes, never taking to the field unless they can benefit from it and have an assured chance of victory or safety... but then they never actually do anything, as any of the actions possibly attributable to them either happen offscreen or probably would have happened without them doing anything. Loki and aversa could have stayed home twiddling their thumbs and nothing would change, and thats the real shame about them. Doesn’t help they aren’t particularly fun or entertaining as villains either due to lackluster writing.

surtr: garon 2.0, but with even less complexity. Well garon may have been a blatantly evil prick, he at least had backstory that provoked some degree of complexity and even sympathy, both to him and those hurt by his evil dragon possession personality change. Surtr lacks even that, acting more like a petty thug given way to much power then an imposing ruler. He garon without the backstory complexity, and in a way hes walhart without the air of regality and charisma that helped elevate walhart from being god awful in his own right. And well it could have been interesting if the story made any attempts to comment on that or work it into a central story theme or flow of some sort, it doesnt really do that and instead treats him as if he has and indeed deserves the same credibility and impression walhart or garon or any of the other fire emblem emperor kings have left. But the game doesnt ever actually work for that with him. Hes the emeperor, so he automatically deserves respect as a villain. and thats... so typical of book 2′s writing.

laevatein: shes boring as sin, even with her relation to her sister and the tragedy of losing her. Like her sister, she would have benefited from an impression of learned helplessness but the game never really bothers with it. moving on because i can barely give a shit about her.

bruno: this mother fucker... an annoying detraction that overtakes veronicas spotlight and screentime, an excuse for alfonse wangst that never really lands, pointless and useless... the benefit of book 2 and 3 so far has been his reduced importance, but i fully expect him to come roaring back to steal veronicas position once the story shifts back to an area she should be the focus of. the only thing he has going for him is the sense of a camus struggling with dragon possession but thats more so used for alfonse wangst then it is for anything constructive. What do i mean by alfonse wangst? I mean angst that really serves no narrative purpose then for the sake of unnecessary melodrama, as opposed to informing us anything about the characters or themes of the story. he makes veronica look worse, his drama with alfonse is a waste of time, and he really provides nothing else then a recurring boss fight and get out of jail free card for the story. I’m putting him below laevatein because well i dont give much of a shit about her, she atleast doesnt actively annoy me and still had the potential for something. Bruno however? the story would be better off without him. So fuck him.

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Road Before Us (MidoTaka)

So… Wow. I kind of can’t believe this is the last chapter. And I have to say, this one was a ride—or at least it was for me to write, anyway. //laughs Which seems appropriate, given the overall themes. And it also feels appropriate to be posting it on New Year’s Eve, given what the story ended up being about.

I knew this chapter would be the longest, once I realized some of the things I wanted to include in it. And that hopefully it would include pretty much everything I love the most about MidoTaka, and also about KnB in general. I don’t know how well I pulled that off, but I definitely got emotional writing it. <3

As a matter of fact, the first fic I ever wrote for KnB was a MidoTaka fic! (It’s here on my Tumblr, but I never even posted it to Ao3.) I haven’t written nearly as much about them as I have for some other pairings. Still, I kind of feel like I got my start in the fandom with MidoTaka, and I have a LOT of feelings about them, for all kinds of reasons. So I really, really loved getting to write a chapter about these two, being super amazing partners and also really super in love, and hopefully it shows. <3

I do have some of my usual notes this time around, mostly a few cultural things. (And also some random flailing, about FINALLY getting to write about certain things I’ve had swirling around in my head for a long time. XD) I might write a different post later about this fic overall, and how it turned into something I honestly wasn’t expecting… But for now, let’s get on with the MidoTaka goodness!

(Cut for rambling about things like family headcanons, a few Japanese winter foods, lucky pencils, Takao’s nerdy card hobby, and the symbolism of five yen coins…)

Family Headcanons

This isn’t really a proper note, just some goofy flailing because I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE ABOUT MIDORIMA AND TAKAO’S FAMILIES, HURRAY. I’m also so unbelievably happy that there was a cameo with Midorima’s little sister! I love her so much, especially that she likes nail art. (I have a pointless headcanon that Midorima borrows nail files from her. xD) I’m also overjoyed that I FINALLY got to mention that I headcanon Midorima’s mother as being a surgeon, and his father as a scientist. Because super-successful overachieving green family, that’s why? //laughs

(In case it wasn’t obvious already, I am way, WAY too into family headcanons… There’s probably nothing I love more than coming up with what a character’s family might be like, and how they fit into their family dynamic. To the point that I have a TON of ideas about all of the GoM’s families, some of which I hinted at throughout this story… Because apparently I can’t help myself anymore. XD)

The Rear Car

This is also not a proper note in any way, but… I’m just so happy that the rear car is in this! XDD I hinted at a few personal headcanons about it in the chapter, including that they don’t use it regularly by their third year in high school. But it just seemed like it couldn’t be a MidoTaka fic without it, so I’m overjoyed that I was able to come up with a way to work it into a holiday fic…

… And because I’m a nerd, I love it even more because it just fits the “Sleigh Ride” theme SO PERFECTLY. XD It’s been a while, but I think that was even how I decided on the carol for the fic in the first place? Like, “OMG maybe Takao could decorate the rear car and they could ride around in it and it would be sort of like the song and that way the last chapter actually fits the most and IT’S PERFECT?!” Ah, the things I get excited about as a nerdy writer. //laughs

Hot Water Bottle Covers

… I’m not really sure if I should even make this a note, honestly. XD But I happened to get the idea for the cutesy hot water bottle covers that look like animals while I was doing a search for the Japanese word for hot water bottle. Which is yutanpo (ゆたんぽ), if anyone was curious!

Oden and Oshiruko

And now about the meal… Oden is a type of stew that is super popular in Japan in the wintertime, so it’s one of the foods that tends to be culturally associated with the season. There are a lot of different ingredients that can be in it, some of which can be pretty unfamiliar to people who aren’t from Japan. You can learn more about some of them in articles like this one. And yes, you can totally buy oden in a convenience store! (Which are everywhere in Japan and called ‘konbini’ for short.)

As for shiruko (or more formally, oshiruko!), this is the Japanese version of red bean soup. It’s prepared a few different ways, and the recipe varies by region. KnB fans will probably know it best as what Midorima is always drinking out of a can. XD So no surprise that it popped up in this chapter, really!

Yushima Tenmagu

This is just a quick mention about the lucky pencils Midorima gives Takao… As Midorima said, these came from a shrine called Yushima Tenmagu, which is pretty famous as a place for Japanese students to buy good luck charms to pass their exams. (Also if I remember correctly, Midorima has this running gag throughout some of the series extras about trying to figure out how to get better scores on his exams, and even about a lucky pencil? So it just seemed to fit. //laughs)

Magic the Gathering, Apparently

… Okay so first of all, I know literally nothing about Magic the Gathering. So if you happen to be an MtG fan and I screwed something up, I’m very sorry. //laughs

In any case, it’s a longtime headcanon of mine that Takao plays MtG. Since of course it’s one of the most famous trading card games in the world, and it’s still popular in Japan and played in the gaming communities there. And as Takao fans out there will know, his canon hobby is collecting trading cards, which he specifically shops for at a pretty famous Tokyo shopping center called Nakano Broadway. (All of which got a mention in this chapter!)

Also, if you’re wondering how long I’ve had the MtG headcanon specifically… Well, here’s a quote from my fic The Fast Train to Kyoto, where Akashi and Furihata run into Takao while shopping at Nakano Broadway:

“Why do you like to come here, if I may ask?” Akashi said.

“Oh, right. You guys gotta see this.” Takao started to rummage through one of his shopping bags. “I’m a loser for trading cards. Magic, mostly—play a lot of Magic.”

… Because the point guards in KnB are all huge nerds in my mind, and I WILL STAND BY THAT THEORY FOREVER. XD

(And no, I honestly had no idea that I would ever reuse that particular headcanon, especially in a holiday story? But it’s me, and I can’t seem to stop connecting all these totally unnecessary details, even in my fluff fanfics, so… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. //laughs)

The Symbolism of Five Yen Coins

Okay, I have to admit really love this one, because of course I just sort of stumbled onto the idea by “accident.” //laughs So a few weeks back, I was trying to figure out what lucky item would work for Takao’s gift in the story. The real-life Oha-Asa has listed coins as a lucky item for multiple astrological signs over the years, so I was playing around with that idea… And that was when I learned about the symbolism of the five yen piece in Japanese currency. At which point I completely geeked out, and decided on the spot that I just HAD to use it.

So a five yen coin is pronounced “go-en” in Japanese. Which also sounds like another word that basically means a bond or connection, and has connotations of fate as well. For this reason, there are a lot of superstitions around five yen coins—it’s often used at shrines to pray, for example—and it’s basically connected to the idea of meeting people and making connections in a fortunate or “destined” way. Which just seems so fitting for Midorima and Takao, and how they met and later became partners! And also how I see all the relationships in KnB in general. <3

For an explanation from a Japanese person about some of the symbolism behind the five yen piece, I really recommend this article here! And Wikipedia also mentions some ways that the five yen piece is used culturally.

Well, that’s it for now! I might end up editing this a bit at some point, since I’m writing it in a hurry to post it on New Year’s. But I really wanted to get the final chapter up as soon as I could, so people could read the completed fic if they wanted.

Well, thank you all so much for indulging me in my holiday fic mood this year! Happy New Year, and I hope you all have an amazing 2020 ahead. I know I definitely have a lot of goals and things I’m thinking about and hoping for, and I might talk more about that soon. (As well as try to catch up on some messages and other to-do’s I’ve been horribly neglecting.) But for now, it just feels right to finally be able to complete this story, which ended up meaning way, way more to me than I ever expected it to. (Like KnB and these precious rainbow basketball kids in general, really. <3)

[jessiewre]

Day 54

Thurs 27th Feb

🏖Watamu to Mombasa 🕌

The day had finally arrived and we were leaving Watamu. We'd been totally sucked in and it was easy to see why - beautiful beaches, cheap but decent hotel with AC, tasty Italian food, super nice and helpful hotel staff that greeted us like old friends, and lets not forget the absolute jewel in the crown, Barry. 

We'd planned on 4 days, which had somehow turned into 10, and although the draw of more time with Barry was overwhelming (maybe for Phil), we couldn't delay it any longer. Phil's marathon was looming.

So we went down for breakfast, hiding the mustard from view incase Wendy was around, and chatted to Edwin our waiter while watching the Man City vs Real Madrid highlights. The food selection that morning was a little different - what I thought was a chickpea curry turned out to be a maize stew. Phil was not keen. But we got our Spanish omelettes to order so PANIC OVER. 

Check out was mildly emotional as the staff waved goodbye to their favourite ever guests (probably) with tears in their eyes (maybe) and pain in their hearts (definitely). They told us to keep in touch and to make sure we came back - yeah, it was intense. They must have some really dull guests normally...that reminds me, Barry rocked up to say bye and made sure he got Phil's number no doubt so he could share his hilarious memes and top lad BANTER.

Our tuc tuc driver took us to Gede and helped us find a bus going to Mombasa. Phil's height got him the Vip front seat and I squashed in the back like the peasant that I am. The ticket man was a full on hustler, getting the bus to collect people on the street who didn't even seem to want to go to Mombasa. But despite this, the journey was quick and the best bit was I realised we were going to drive past our hostel area 20 minutes before we got to Mombasa centre - so we got off the bus at Bob's bar corner and only had a 5 minute walk to get there. 

And what did we pass on the way? A JAVA CAFE. A symbol of reliability and AC. Once we'd got through the super high tech security of a plastic table in a car park, Phil ordered his favourite tomato soup with masala fries and I ordered a Greek salad, safe in the knowledge that I would be tucking into Phil's masala fries whether he liked it or not. 

The hostel Tuliahouse showed us two rooms - one large room near the pool, with high ceilings and an amazing mosquito net, plus an ensuite, for $35 and then one small room tucked awkwardly upstairs with NO bathroom and a pathetic mozi net for $31. Umm let me think, which one to have...

Ok so some people might think we went for the cheap one to save ourselves 4 whole dollars and it does sound like something we might do. But not this time guys. We splashed out. Not that this big room was perfect by any means. The shower head flew off as soon as the water was turned on and then I realised there was no bath mat or toilet roll. Sweet. God knows what would have been wrong in the other room.

We went straight to the pool for a chill out (it had been a tough day already) and Phil read some blog. He's just reached the night bus journey where he ate old Mexican food and it made us laugh a lot. Hope you're enjoying this moment reading a blog about reading a blog that you’ve already read. 

Phil suggested we go to explore the Old Town of Mombasa before sunset, so we jumped into an Uber with a slightly depressed driver and got out at Fort Jesus, a big old fort by the coast. There was a load of young teens playing a game of football right near it and in the evening light with the fort in the background, it looked pretty epic.

The Old Town was mildly interesting to walk round but had a weird vibe. One person told Phil to be careful with his phone then another told us to walk a different way as it was dodgy. The best bit was coming across a small tea shop by the waters edge where a man had three pots going with different hot drinks and loads of cups, plus a large group of customers sat around enjoying the view. I was about to go into the order area when I suddenly noticed there were only men there. As it was a Muslim area, I checked with the guy if I could come in. He looked at me like I was mental and said Yes of course. Phil also looked at me like I was mental. I was just trying to make sure I didn't offend anyone! And by doing so, I may have offended someone. FFS.

A small cup of ginger coffee was handed to me while Phil walked off to watch the kids who were fishing off the rocks. The tea was extremely sweet and extremely gingery, stinging the throat with ginger spice, but not actually bad. I had some small talk with the men sat around and then called over to Phil to get change to pay

15ksh for my tea. I looked back at the men and said 'He carries the wallet, but the money inside is mine'.

Oh my God these men HOWLED with laughter like it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. Maybe it actually was poor things.  

The rest of the walk was pretty forgettable and we got in another Uber (with another extremely depressed driver) to get to a restaurant. It was still early but I'd found a place called Bollywood Bites (thats right people) that said it opened ‪at 6pm. We definitely didn’t expect to be eating so much Indian food on this trip but we are certainly not unhappy about it‬. Got dropped off to a mall complex and found this bizarre Bollywood themed place with no one in it and blasting cold AC. Perfect! Cool air and fast service is a Philly Tours Thursday special.

The cheapest rice on the menu was $4.90 - which is mental of course - so we decided to go rogue and try to have our first ever curry with no rice (!). It's funny the things we refuse to pay for - but it worked out great. Paneer Tikka masala, aloo tiki Chaat and garlic naan with some potato ball starters was yummmmmy. Phil was like 'Ya know what, I'm not gonna have a beer I'm just gonna have a coke and take it easy'.

At which point I let me know that I was fully aware that the restaurant didn't even sell beer and he wasn't fooling anyone.

We got a small doggy bag and got another Uber, crossing our fingers for someone a little more joyful. Francis was a young guy who actually let us have the AC on and stopped off for us to buy water too (I bought him a lemon drink to say thanks). So we booked him for our morning pick up and went straight to watch the Crown in our boiling hot room.  

[bluepenguinstories]

Name Unable to Escape From

You said you once wanted to be the next Virginia Woolf and I thought of myself more as Sylvia Plath. More in execution, not in style, but in practice. I guess I was never good at math. Words were all I had. If I have to keep remembering, I will tear myself apart. I guess the illness falls with me. Words remain, stories, all the rest unknown things.

I cannot so much as write about it without it crumbling. You already know who you are. Maybe it's me; hidden in exaggeration. Long ago, I parted ways with art. Far from creative, sole, I am madness. Cannot shake from the themes of desperation.

Would rather not be defined by my failings but so many times unable to achieve death. Guess I'll have to live with that. Names and numbers, would rather forget. No such rest. Could never get into Mrs. Dalloway and I identified with Esther Greenwald instead. So in that way, I guess I was correct.

Never finishing college, racks of debt. Many opportunities left, too much stress. Closeted from all around me, retch at hearing the phrase “young man” (YMCA is ruined for me, I guess) and at a fair in September, a friend dragged me in the trenches of anxiety, too many people. Understanding nothing, the booths. Passing each one, hoping not to be noticed and at one of them, there was you.

I know I can never go there again. Not that I won't be permitted entry but I cannot risk any surprise visitations from remnants of my past, inflicting.

So why am I back on this? It's been so long now and I no longer wish to know this person. September is approaching again you see, and while it means nothing to me I can remove myself from situations physically but I cannot move on from memory.

Sing-song, tell me it's all rhymes and no meaning. So here on out no rhymes – but don't let it make you think there will be any meaning. See, I know there is math in everything but I have never understood a single thing around me – divorced from logic. Don't kid yourself, don't say you expected any better. I may have hidden myself but you know enough.

An obsessive little monster, so close to September. Don't get started thinking it means anything. Just a date, one month out of the year. One twelfth of a calender. Cannot picture making letters for others but if I'm living with these memories, then I may as well write something. That went on for way too long, just like the years. Just like most of the time when I have anything else on my mind. But the moment it's back to this, you know how I get.

So September, I welcome you. Knowing that it draws closer and I won't bring myself close enough to anyone to make such an impact.

I guess I'm bitter, but in a caffeic sense; it makes me manic. Stewing in it, drinking it up. Driving me, sometimes, I find it corrosive.

All the art I never wish to produce and this has gone on long enough. Far, far too long. Maybe it's symbolic. Not knowing how to end it or there not being an end to begin with.

So many thoughts forgotten, so why this one? Is it because I allow it or is my mind an enemy? Cold combination of both, I believe. Wonder what any of us were expecting. Most memories forgotten, but enough remain so I'll write what I may, come the consequence. Not so much unable to let go, not so much attached but unable to sever the thread that some outside force stitched.

I'll have you know my life has been fine. Lacking in ambition because when I try to better situations, I end up in deeper pits. So I'm doing fairly well, making do of what I will. Just basic things. Avoiding new memories.

[marica-ya]

A local feminist organization that helps women with legal services messaged my business to request christmas catering and I am thrilled! But also very tired. But also really happy to make a delicious meal for them. I'm making roasted buttermilk chicken, tilapia in coconut, passionfruit, and tangerine sauce, bourguignon-masala tofu and mushroom stew, coconut rice, lemongrass rice, pear and lemon ricotta salad with a special local honey made by meliponida bees... And for dessert a cocoa butter pistachio crumble, lemon curd, and lavender vanilla whipped cream... The cream I got from the regenerative farm is simply amazing. I cannot believe it's so good, I wish I would have gotten three jars of it.

I'm gonna be cooking most of tha day lol. Then tomorrow is being a lil waterbag in bed day, then friday will be another session for the cooking classes for people with depression + christmas dinner at mine own house. We were gonna throw a bday party with my sis on thursday but we got new covid prevention mandates and parties are forbidden. My sister was really disappointed, this is our last 20s birthday! And the theme for the party was really cool. She asked her guests to bring a poem, comic, or short story of what growing up means to them. I was gonna bartend doing my cocktails and La Suerte but you know, global pandemic.

Tbh I actually wanted to go to Mindo for my birthday and just be in nature and meditate and eat at Cuyana. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it because my dad doesn't understand what medical rest means for OCD episodes.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and I'm so fucking grateful and amazed I found her. I told her how I've been doing and that I needed a work note since I had missed two days recovering from the anxiety crisis on saturday and she gave me the week off. I can't believe I found a doctor that understands psychosis as a the complex phenomenon it is rather than seeing it as a loss of sanity plain and simple. I am so grateful that I can talk about language and symbolism and frequencies with her and she Gets it. Can you believe it. A psychiatrist who understands psychosis in a way that isn't erasing and frustratingly simple. And who will give me a week off to take it easy.

Anyways, when I started cooking yesterday for today's catering, my dad asked me if I wasn't supposed to be on bed rest. I was like ? I think you should talk to my psychiatrist because getting a week off work to prevent worsening symptoms after a mini anxiety crisis and "resting" does not mean wasting away in your bed like a sick victorian child. Like sometimes it does but in my case that would not help. Then he said I was just picking things that were convenient for me and now I'm wondering if he's right. Maybe I shouldn't be working... I mean, at least not this much. But I'm going to have thursday, saturday, and sunday off... I don't know, I definitely feel I should relax a little bit. However I already committed to this dinner and cannot back out. Today is a food day which also means a valuable lessons day. I'm gonna try and get some sleep before starting the day officially.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Big Bad Dean Winchester (Part 3)

Summary: Dean is trying his best to be more upbeat but an incident leaves Dean and the reader’s relationship in uncharted territory...

Big Bad Dean Winchester Masterlist

Pairing: Endverse!Dean x reader

Word Count: 4,100ish

Warnings: language, violence, horror themes

A/N: Nice longer part for you guys...

“You wanted to see me?” you said, knocking on the screen door of Dean’s cabin. You’d been back for about a month, fully healed thanks to Cas, but you still felt tense anytime you were around Dean, not that you made it a habit to hang out with him.

“Come in,” he said, waving you inside. “Take a seat.”

You sat down at the table, Dean pouring over a few maps and papers, letting you stew for a few moments before lifting his head.

“Am I in trouble?” you asked. Dean cocked his head and looked you up and down.

“I haven’t decided yet. I’d try to convince me you’re not if I were you,” said Dean.

“What rule did I supposedly break?” you asked, sighing as Dean stood up, sliding a sheet of paper over to you. “The basketball league? You said we could do it.”

“I did say that. It’s been going well too. All of your little ideas have been. So why is it that you haven’t signed up for a single one?” asked Dean.

“I’m in trouble because I haven’t picked a team to play on? If you want me to go play, I’ll play. I didn’t know it was mandatory,” you said. Dean walked around the table and spun around a chair, straddling it as he rested his arms over the back of it, staring at you.

“You’re isolating yourself. We didn’t pay much attention to that kind of thing before but now we do. You’re losing your spark, Y/N. When was the last time you even argued with me? Two weeks ago?” asked Dean.

“Wait, so I’m in trouble because I didn’t sign up for something that isn’t mandatory and for following your orders?” you asked. “Dean, not to say anything out of line, but you’re confusing the shit out of me.”

“Well I’m confused too. I thought you wanted a home here. For all of your efforts to bring camp morale up and bring a little joy to this place, you sure are looking down,” said Dean. “Is this because I said you’re not allowed to leave? You can...go if you think that’d be best for you.”

“I don’t want to go,” you said. “I just...”

“You just...” said Dean. “Spill the beans or I’ll volunteer you to taste test the new dishes out of the mess hall.”

“I get where you’re coming from is all. The world ended. This is our life now,” you said.

“You’re definitely in trouble now,” said Dean, standing up going to a drawer in his kitchen and pulling out a red band like you would have gotten at a concert, putting it on your wrist. “You’re on the red flag list until further notice. I or any of security catches you without that on, you really will be breaking a rule.”

“Fuck off,” you said, snapping the band with your knife, staring him down as he sighed. “I have to go back to work.”

You got a knock on your door that night as you sat on your love seat reading a book from the library that’d started up. You could see Dean through the screen door before he came in on his own.

“You are breaking and entering,” you said, not bothering to look up from your book. He pulled one of your hands away and put another red band on, letting it drop back in your lap. “I’ll just cut if off again.”

“I’m trusting that you won’t,” said Dean. You snapped your head up, Dean leaning by your door with a tired face. “Don’t let me win this fight.”

“What are you even talking about Dean?” you asked. “If I want to leave camp, a red piece of plastic is not stopping me.”

“I want you to talk back and get in my face and do stupid shit to try and get me to laugh or smile. But you’re getting like me because I’m an asshole. So this is an olive branch or whatever. If you start participating like you used to, maybe you’ll even convince grumpy old camp leader Dean Winchester that this shit show we call life has a little good left in it,” said Dean.

“This is a symbol is what you’re saying,” you said, holding up your arm. “You put one on.”

“Excuse me?” he said. “I can’t-”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Leadership gets these nice fancy black ones,” you said, going to you kitchen drawer, pulling one out and putting it on his wrist.

“You know the black bands are only for if you think leadership is out of line,” said Dean.

“You could always cut if off but if you want out of these walls anytime soon-”

“You’re blackmailing me,” he said, squinting his eyes at you.

“There’s a co-ed team that needs two people. You want me to make you lose this fight, you’re joining with me,” you said, Dean tugging at the band but sighing. “It’s your choice. Cut that off if you want to but as a sign of our newfound trust, I hope you keep it on until...” you said, Dean ripping it off barehanded.

“Don’t forget who’s in charge,” he said, turning around, heading down the steps as you went to slam your door shut. “You better not make us wear those tiny ass shorts!”

You locked up for the night but had a big smile on your face as you sat back down. Dean might have still been an ass but at least he was trying to be less of one.

“Dean, I think you almost smiled today,” you said, walking back to your cabin with him, Dean chugging down some water. “You had fun, didn’t you?”

“I got in exercise. Good for the reflexes,” he said, hearing you sigh next to him. “You kept your band on.”

“I’m trying to earn some trust. There’s this real dickhead around here that I suspect is a big softie and probably very kind but he doesn’t want anyone to know that,” you said. “I’ll keep it on until he sees things my way.”

“What exactly is your way?” he asked, stopping outside your cabin.

“You think the world ended. I think parts of the world ended. Flowers are still pretty, a warm wind still feels good, you can still hear a joke and laugh. You’re stressed which I get, I totally get. But you are a human being Dean. You need to smile every once in a while, just be happy you’re alive,” you said.

“How’s research going?” asked Dean, changing the subject. “I’ve heard you might have something.”

“We’ve got a very preliminary substance at the moment. Odds are it’ll kill someone outright if we use it. We need more time to work it,” you said.

“I also may have heard you’re working on not one but two cures,” said Dean. You turned to go up your steps, Dean’s hand catching your wrist lightly. “I put you in charge of the research team because I trust your judgement. It’s not a bad thing. Stupid but not bad.”

“Doesn’t it even bother you? Killing the Croats?” you asked. Dean shrugged and dropped your hand. “You like it, don’t you?”

“I like staying alive. If you want to make an immunization for us humans and a reversal for the Croats, I won’t stop you. Just prioritize us first, hm?” he said, rubbing your arm. You stared at his hand on you as he pulled it away fast. “Nice free throws today.”

“Tuck your elbow in. More accurate,” you said.

“Remember that with your bow,” said Dean, patting your shoulder as he stepped away. “You keep your elbow out too far and don’t pull back far enough with your shoulder.”

“You spying on me now?” you asked, Dean chuckling.

“You signed up for hunting. I’m surprised actually,” said Dean. “Garth said you could teach the class yourself.”

“Apart from the bow. The kids were better than me,” you said.

“Good thing this ain’t the Hunger Games then or you’d be screwed Katniss,” said Dean, giving you a wave. “I want a written status update on your research tomorrow afternoon, got it?”

“Whatever you say boss,” you said, hopping up a few steps before spinning around. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” he asked. “You can just drop it off if I’m not there.”

“Okay. I wanted to ask about that bunker place. How-”

“I figured it was kind of obvious I used to live there when you went poking around in my room,” he said, squinting his eyes.

“Personal space hasn’t been much of a thing lately so relax. I didn’t rifle through your drawers. I was just wondering...why’d you leave? That place is easy to defend, only two ways in or out, it was a bit isolated...” you said. Dean looked like he wanted to laugh but it was dark.

“There’s stuff you don’t need to know. You just don’t. As far as the bunker goes, it’s a lost cause. I cleared it out once and it filled right back up the next day,” he said.

“That doesn’t make any sense, how-”

“Someone thought it would be funny. The bunker is a lost cause. This camp is good and it’s all we need. I don’t want you to talk about the bunker to anyone anymore, understand?” said Dean, the carefree eyes you saw not ten minutes ago gone.

“Yes, sir.”

A few more weeks went by when you were lying in bed, slowly waking up, enjoying a nice lazy day. 

“Get up ya bum!” you heard from your door, Dean’s fist pounding on the other side. You grumbled and threw on some pants, blinking at him as his eyes wandered over your face. “You got a little drool there...”

“What can I do for you this morning, Dean? It is my day off you know,” you said, crossing your arms. “I think I was explicitly told by a certain someone that I should start taking my days off before he makes me.”

“It is your day off, Y/N. You’re going on a very special scavenge field trip,” said Dean, walking inside your house, tossing your boots at you. “Come on, you haven’t been out of the camp since you got the research. We wouldn’t want you to get rusty or anything, now would we?”

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave camp,” you said, holding up your arm, the red band still there from over a month ago. Dean cocked his head and grabbed your knife, backpack and gun, setting them down on your front table.

“Well, you’ll be under supervision,” said Dean. “You’re still a flight risk.”

“I want to stay,” you said honestly, Dean nodding his head.

“I know. This is me trusting that you’ll come back,” said Dean. You raised an eyebrow and he crossed his arms. “Oh, I’m not going with you. It’s my day off too.”

“Seriously? You are such an asshole,” you said, Dean shrugging. 

“Rufus, Benny and Abby are waiting in the front lot whenever you’re ready,” he said.

“Abby?” you asked, Dean holding his hand up high.

“Taller chick, red head, kind of sassy. She got here just before you got back. Out on the road for a long time like you, not always alone though, had a group mostly. Surprised you guys haven’t met yet. She fucking hates me. You’d get along great,” said Dean, walking down your front steps. “Get a move on Y/L/N!”

“I was going to sleep in today, jerk!” you shouted back, getting ready quickly before grabbing breakfast to go and meeting up with the group.

You were happy to be out there again, testing yourself. Although, there was a very clear reason you and this Abby chick hadn’t spoken before. If Dean could wipe a smile off your face, she could stomp it into the dirt before setting it on fire. You’d never met someone so unpleasantly vicious, happy to kill Croat after Croat out there.

“Rufus, not to be that person but she seem kind of...” you said, Rufus nodding his head. 

“I don’t know. I kept telling Dean I think she’s a Crooked. She’s got that...kill everything way about her,” said Rufus.

“You two done talking about me or do you want to get back to work? Not often the boss let’s his pet outside huh sweetie?” she said, Rufus holding out an arm in front of you.

“Okay, we’ll go over here then,” said Rufus, pulling you away before you did something you regretted. 

“Do people think I’m Dean’s-”

“No. Forget about her. I’ll sweep the house if you want the garage,” said Rufus, patting you on the back. You sighed and broke off from him, looking around the cluttered space, trying to see if there was anything valuable. You snagged some motor oil and some spark plugs Benny had asked you to keep an eye out for but not much else. Something wet slapped the cement beside you, a piece of fresh rabbit from the color and size. You spun around to catch Abby standing part way down the driveway, giving you a smile before taking off. You cocked your head when a Croat bolted around the corner, smelling the fresh grub before turning towards you. 

You reached for your gun but it clicked empty, no rounds in the chamber. You started pulling your knife out in the same motion when you saw that the sheath was sewn shut.

“Oh, that bitch,” you said, regretting the five minutes she was alone with your supplies, graciously offering to watch your stuff while you used the bathroom.

You backed up into a work bench, grabbing at a wrench with one hand as you shouted for Rufus and Benny. You dodged the Croat and whacked it hard, once and then twice, something sharp tearing into your arm on the third swing.

You screamed when you realized it was teeth from another Croat, quickly wailing on the one attached to you before you heard a shot ring out and it went down. You bashed the first one good before rolling over in front of them, Rufus and Benny stopping when they saw you.

“Do it,” you said, holding a hand over your bleeding arm. You grolwed when they didn’t move. “I said do it! I don’t want to be one of those things.”

“It takes a few hours,” said Rufus. “We’ll get you back to camp and go from there.”

“Do not bring me back to camp, that is way too big of a risk,” you said. “I’ll do it myself if you two won’t. Give me a gun.”

“Sorry darlin’. Boss said you don’t come back alive, we better not bother coming back and we kind of like it there so no one’s dying today,” said Benny, nodding to Rufus as they came inside and wrapped up your arm, helping you to your feet. You could hear a truck in the distance and they both cursed, Rufus taking off and looking for a car to get you back with. 

It took twenty minutes and you already started to feel funny. You figured you looked it too since they didn’t bother to go under fifty the whole way back, showing up at the gate an hour later with you on Benny’s back.

“What happened?” asked Chuck, seeing you lazily hold up your arm, shifting to hide away in Benny’s neck. “She’s bit? Get her to Medical now.”

You passed out on Benny a few times on the trip through camp, getting more than a few looks before you were being set down on a bed, Dean storming in ten seconds later.

“I told you shit heads to watch her back out there! She hasn’t been out there in a month and you just let her get attacked!” shouted Dean, your hand tugging on his turning his attention to you.

“Abby lured a couple in on me. She stopped me from using my weapons. It’s not their fault, Dean,” you said with a croak. “Come on, just do it already. I’m not going full Croat on this place.”

“Shit,” said Dean, dropping your hand as he went to the other side of the room, flipping over a table. “I ever see that bitch, I’ll kill her.”

“Bigger problem at the moment, boss,” said Benny. “What we going to do about Y/N? We ain’t exactly got much time left to make a decision.”

“I made a decision, you assholes just aren’t doing what I say!” you shouted, sitting up in bed, gripping the sheets tightly. You saw them all take a step back, except for Dean. Your arm was throbbing now as you squeezed it, wishing getting rid of it would solve the problem but knowing that was no use.

“Cas, can you run over to the research cabin? Get the cure Y/N was working on,” said Dean. “Both of them. Now Cas.”

“Where the fuck did he just go?” you asked, watching Cas disappear and reappear in front of you, now holding two tiny bottles.

“It’s...complicated,” said Dean, grabbing the bottles as you lay back down, the last bits of energy in you sucking up fast. “Stay with me, Y/N.”

“It’s not ready yet. Neither of them are ready,” you said. “None of the mice lived through either.”

“Well I’m not giving you just one then,” said Dean, pouring one bottle into the other and swirling it around. “I think we just need a little miracle is all.”

“You’re going to kill me. You’re going to kill me if I take that!” you shouted, Cas already midway through filling up a syringe and handing it to Dean.

“Have a little hope, Y/N,” said Dean, smiling at you for the first time in your life. He held up the syringe and gave it a little squirt. “Trust me?”

“It’s not on you,” you said, snatching it out of his hand and stabbing yourself in the arm, gasping a few times before tossing it to the side. “If I die, it’s on me, not on you, got it?”

Dean nodded as you panted and shot up, doubling over as you tried to suck in a breath but couldn’t. You dug your fingers into your own flesh, something happening in your blood that made you feel on fire, something that hurt and hurt and you didn’t care that you reached out for Dean’s hand and held on so tight you must have broken something. 

Even if you were dying, you got him to smile.

You woke up in your own bed, someone snoring from your love seat but you couldn’t tell just who yet. You wondered if you’d died but quickly saw the bandage on your arm and smiled. You blinked a few more times, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you saw the dirty blonde hair on the back of the small couch move and stretch, glancing back at you and smiling, moving to lay back down before his head popped up again with wide eyes.

“Shit, you’re alive!” he said, bouncing up and running over, his hands all over your face and neck as you sat up in bed. “You feel cool again. Good. I think your fever is gone. How you feeling?”

“Like shit,” you said, moving to lay back down. “Did I meet my maker or what?”

“Got damn close. Real damn close,” said Dean. “The fever alone should have wiped you out for good, let alone the Croat nonsense.”

“It must be my sunshiny attitude,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I’m exhausted. Fuck, it’s been a long day.”

“Um, more like week,” said Dean, your eyes opening slowly to see him pulling over a chair to sit next to you in. “Eight days actually.”

“Eight days? You would think I’d feel more rested after being in a coma,” you said.

“You weren’t. You’ve been waking up every day, more and more often so I was hoping you were getting close to being okay again,” said Dean. 

“It’s my own fault,” you said. “It was foolish to let Abby near my stuff and I let myself get cornered. Again.”

“There’s a difference between getting cornered and shoved face first into a trap. You weren’t foolish either. She was a member of camp and that means trust. I was the only one that let her in to be honest,” said Dean. “It’s my fault what happened to you.”

“No it’s not jerk. You didn’t know psycho was an actual psycho,” you said.

“I let emotions get in the way of a decision. She had Crooked written all over her but I ignored it and they ended up with a truck and a day’s worth of scavenging, not to mention inside information on this place or what they did to you. They’ll want this place,” said Dean. “We’re already working on fortifying.”

“We have more people here than that isolated group of twenty nutjobs. We don’t have to worry. Besides, you aren’t the first guy to get tricked because you thought a girl was hot,” you said, trying to get him to laugh but causing a frown to appear instead.

“I brought her in because she was the exact opposite of you. Cold, hard, straight to the chase, no time for smiles or jokes,” said Dean. “Made me realize why you left the first time around.”

“Dean that’s not true,” you said, moving your pillows to help you sit upright. “Maybe you were all of those things but underneath it? You were kind. You made a camp, a safe place for everyone. You’re not a Crooked. You’re a Winchester.”

“You need some food,” said Dean, moving into your kitchen, throwing a pot on the stove.

“Yummy, more beans,” you said, closing your eyes as you listened to him move around for a while, the chair beside you creaking again. 

“Eat up,” he said, holding the bowl for you and spoon, watching your eyes flicker up to his.

“That’s mac and cheese. Where did you find mac and cheese?” you asked, Dean holding the spoon up to your mouth, giving you a smile when you took a bite. You smiled so hard your cheeks hurt, Dean slipping one on his own face as he gave you another bite. “You have to have some.”

“It’s yours Y/N,” said Dean, your hand on his wrist doing nothing from stopping him to give you a third mouthful. 

“I’m not eating anymore unless you have some too,” you said, Dean bringing up a fourth spoonful. “Dean.”

“I will have one bite and then you can have the rest,” said Dean, pausing a moment before slipping the spoon in his mouth, his eyes shutting as he nearly moaned. “I hope the Kraft family survived the apocalypse because we need more of this.”

“Have more,” you said, pushing his hand to take another bite, instead getting a spoonful in front of you. You shut your mouth and Dean waved it a little before you opened up.

“You need your strength back, Y/N. Please don’t fight me the next few weeks on helping you recover,” said Dean, swapping out the spoon for the water by your bed, helping you with it when you realized you couldn’t hold it yourself.

“You smile now. You earned the right to help me,” you said, Dean smirking as he helped you finish the rest of your meal.

“I have a meeting to run to but I’ll be back in an hour. I promise,” said Dean, cleaning up your dishes and refilling your glass. “I’ll see if the mess hall has any straws too.”

“You’re busy. You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, Dean,” you said, giving him a tired smile.

“Funny you mention that. I’m about to go beg to not be kicked out camp,” said Dean. 

“What?” you asked, trying to get out of bed, groaning at the motion before slumping back into it.

“I broke rules, big rules. The other camp founders have a right to get rid of me. Don’t worry about it. One way or another, I’ll be back in an hour,” said Dean.

“No,” you said, attempting to move once again, Dean rolling his eyes as he came over and tucked you back in. “No, I’m coming with you.”

“Rest, sweetheart. That’s an order. Might be the last one I ever give.”

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

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[yotsutama]

SS1.12.3 - Entertainer's Aura

Part 1 Side Story Chapter 12.3

Side Stories

Girl: It's time for "Kimi to 'Ai'dolish nai to!". They're broadcasting it from Osaka! I've been looking forward to this!

Big Sister: Eh? You're going to watch that? Today's guest for "NEXT Re:vale" is TRIGGER though!

Girl: Eeh!? Uum! That's definitely a must-watch too but, IDOLiSH7's corners are always so interesting!

Big Sister: "NEXT Re:vale" is interesting too! You see, today's corner is......

Girl: It's "Show Off Your Entertainer’s Aura in Osaka!"

Big Sister: It's "Conceal Your Entertainer’s Aura in the Big City!"

Girl・Big Sister: Ehh....!?

Yuki: ...... Ah, my nail fell off.

Momo: You're right... Grip your hand close to hide your thumb then?

Yuki: Isn’t there some sort of symbolism behind this?

Momo: Yeah. It's like when you see a black cat, right? They say if your fingernails fall off, your age will go backwards......

Yuki: What, I've never heard that.

Momo: Eh? Wasn’t that the saying!?

Yuki: Haha, it's like Setsubun. (1)

Momo: That’s with beans though! I'm talking about cats here!

Staff: Please be on standby!

Momo: Okay! We look forward to working with you!

Momo: Good evening! We're Re:vale!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Yuki: Good evening.

Momo: Let's be happy tonight too! The special guest is, oh wow! It's everyone's favorite handsome idols!

Momo: It's TRIGGER!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Gaku: Good evening.

Tenn: Please take care of us.

Ryuunosuke: Thank you! Please take care of us!

Tsumugi: Now then, everyone, let's do this!

Riku: Manager, you're the cameraman! So cool!

Tsumugi: Thank you very much! I'll do my best!

Mitsuki: Ah, it's time!

Tsumugi: I'll start the countdown! 3, 2, 1......

Mitsuki: Good evening! We're IDOLiSH7! We just had our first live yesterday here in Osaka! It was so fun!

Riku: It was! People from Osaka are so nice!

Mitsuki: It was great!! Now then, let's move on to the corner......

Tamaki: So hot......

Mitsuki: Tamaki! Don't just eat takoyaki!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Momo: TRIGGER, you're all handsome as always! You've been so busy lately though, right? Do you hang out together?

Tenn: We didn't get to hang out, but we had a nice meal together with our manager the other day.

Momo: I see! Where did you go!?

Tenn: A rest stop......

Momo: Eh!?

Ryuunosuke: Well, Gaku wanted to go to the restroom all of sudden, so we had to stop by at some rest stop.

Gaku: Don't say too much!

Ryuunosuke: It was fun. I ate Sansai Udon there. (2)

Momo: So TRIGGER stopped at a rest stop! Did anyone notice you?

Gaku: I wonder. It was late, so there weren’t a lot of people there.

Momo: Well, TRIGGER is well-known nationwide! And for these three famous idols here, we've prepared a special corner today!

Momo: NEXT Re:vale’s special corner! "Conceal Your Entertainer’s Aura in the Big City!"

Mitsuki: You, don't just go off by yourself and eat takoyaki!! You did that before too!!

Tamaki: Wrong, wrong!! I didn't eat it that time! This is my first time eating takoyaki in Osaka!! (3)

Mitsuki: What's the difference!?

Yamato: Well, we're filming outside this time, walking while eating should be fine, right?

Mitsuki: You're too nice old man.... We're not used to being filmed outside like this, so can we really do this while eating?

Yamato: Nah, 'm nod shure......

Mitsuki: You're already eating!!?

Nagi: OH! Eating one set of takoyaki together, both of you look like kids.

Iori: Rokuya-san, takoyaki is a sensitive topic for you since you ignored my warning and ate a piping hot takoyaki and burned yourself, right?

Nagi: It was a gruesome tragedy.... It felt like there was an inferno in my mouth for a second.

Riku: Sougo-san, have you eaten Okonomiyaki? There's an Okonomiyaki shop!

Sougo: You're right. That's such a long queue. I wonder if it's a popular shop.

Tamaki: Okonomiyaki!! I didn't get to eat Okonomiyaki either!! Everyone, have you?

Nagi: Mix.

Riku: Pork balls for me!

Iori: Mentaiko mochi with cheese.

Yamato: The beef stew was the best.

Tamaki: Uwaah! You're bragging about the food!!

Sougo: Let's eat together after we finish the filming. Mitsuki-san, please.

Mitsuki: Thanks for the assistance, Sougo......

Mitsuki: Okay! Here is our theme today!

Mitsuki: We, IDOLiSH7, have debuted and just finished our first live!

Mitsuki: Let's see how well-known we are in Osaka!? We'd like to make sure of this!

Mitsuki: So! it brings us to the corner, "Don't Go Home Until Someone has asked 'Are you IDOLiSH7?'" corner!!

Nagi: OH...! Are you by chance, the center of IDOLiSH7...?

Riku: Yes! My name is Nanase Riku! Nice to meet you!

Nagi: OH...! Fantastic! I love you! Please shake my hand!

Riku: Ehehe, okay!

Mitsuki: Don't start a simulation all of sudden.

Riku: We have to do it like this, right!?

Mitsuki: Yeah, like that!

Girl: Um......

Nagi: OH! Hi, girl. What is it?

Iori: Don't tell me, this fast....?

Yamato: As expected of a half foreigner. His face has a good impact.

Girl: Um, are you someone who appears on TV?

Nagi: OH! Yes, I am! Do you know my name!?

Girl: Ah, so you really are! The name.... Eerr, umm....!

Girl: Anthony!

Nagi: ............

Yamato: Correct!

Nagi: WHAT!?

Girl: Yayy!

Yamato: Thanks, Onee-san! Please keep supporting Anthony!

Girl: Yes! Do your best, Anthony!

Yamato: We will!

Nagi: No no no! My name is Nagi Rokuya......

Yamato: It was close, huh Anthony?

Nagi: It's not close, not even a bit!?

Sougo: But, Nagi-kun, the name Anthony fits you well too.

Nagi: You're cheering me up without meaning it, right Sougo?

Sougo: No, I really......

Mitsuki: As you can see, we'd like to continue this corner just like that! Look forward to it!

Momo: If we leave the studio and walk until we’re in front of the station, we'll have walked 100 meters. It's a showdown of who will get there first!

Momo: Are you confident?

Tenn: I am.

Gaku: It's easy.

Ryuunosuke: I'm not really......

Yuki: Ryuunosuke-kun is big after all.

Momo: Tenn and Gaku stand out too right.

Tenn: But no one calls out to me.

Gaku: I get called.... Well, even if I get called out to, it's fine as long as they don't realize who I am.

Yuki: Don't they call out to you because they realized?

Gaku: No, it will be fine.

Momo: You're so confident, huh!?

Ryuunosuke: What about Re:vale-san? You two stand out, so don't you get noticed?

Yuki: Momo stands out because of his hair. If he hides it, people can’t tell it’s him from afar, right? He'd look like a normal middle schooler.

Tenn: I can tell Yuki-san just from his silhouette.

Yuki: Really?

Gaku: Aah, same. He's dashing. Even his way of standing looks like a model.

Yuki: You say that but, you have a "I'm Yaotome Gaku!" aura surrounding you.

Gaku: I don't have that.

Momo: Just admit it, you get noticed, right!

Gaku: I don't. It's this guy who gets noticed all the time.

Ryuunosuke: Ahaha.... I wonder why.... But, I'll try to win today!

Momo: Then, let's have Ryuu start the challenge!

Ryuunosuke: I'm going.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!

Tenn: Do your best.

Ryuunosuke: Yeah!

Gaku: How about squat walking?

Ryuunosuke: Eh!?

Gaku: To hide your height.

Ryuunosuke: ...... Like this?

Momo: Ahaha! You make yourself stand out even more!

Yuki: Pfft..... You look like a weirdo.

Tenn: Forget about Gaku's advice.

Ryuunosuke: Okay!

Gaku: At least put it in mind! Use it as the trump card!

Ryuunosuke: ............

Yuki: Oh, he’s out.

Gaku: He looks nervous. Do your best, Ryuu!

Tenn: Ah, it's impossible after all.

Momo: Eh?

Tenn: He’s attracted people already.

Momo: It's still okay! If he ignores it......

OL: Um.... Are you Ryuunosuke-san from TRIGGER?

Gaku: Aahh. They stopped him.

Momo: Ryuu-chan is too kind! He can't ignore them!

Yuki: Ah, he nodded.

Tenn: As we thought, Ryuu......

Yuki: Aah, aah. He's surrounded.

Momo: Ahaha, he's shaking their hands! So kind! They even asked for his autograph too.

Tenn: It's getting crowded. Isn't it already impossible to get him out of there?

Gaku: Ah!

Tenn: What?

Gaku: Ryuu, he's squat walking!

Momo: He is!

Yuki: He's using the trump card.

Tenn: He actually kept it in mind.

Gaku: Don't use it now, Ryuu.... Using it now after you've been noticed won't do anything......

Momo: Uum, this is already game over! Let's get him back to the studio!

Tenn: Yeah.

Momo: At least we got to know that Ryuu is a sexy & cute beast!

Yuki: And that squat walking can't be used as a trump card.

Gaku: I wonder why......

Iori: Ah.... That woman, isn't she looking at Yotsuba-san?

Tamaki: Really?

Riku: Maybe she recognizes Tamaki! Try getting close, naturally!

Tamaki: Naturally, but what should I do?

Riku: Walk towards her while humming MonGene!

Mitsuki: That definitely sounds like it’s on purpose though.

Tamaki: Got it. Alright, I'm going!

Sougo: Do your best!

Tamaki: Humhumhuhu~m♪ humhumhuhu~m♪

Yamato: Oh no. This is so funny.

Mitsuki: If she doesn't notice him it will be so embarrassing that I might go hug him.

Tamaki: Humhumhuhu~♪ humhumhumhu~m♪

Nagi: OH.... He is humming right beside her......

Sougo: She looks like she notices but.... Why won't she call out to him......

Yamato: Ahaha! Tama looks desperate now!

College Girl: Um.... excuse me......

Riku: She came!

Tamaki: Hm....? You calling me?

Mitsuki: He's so obvious!!! But nice! It's going well, Tamaki!

College Girl: Are you Yotsuba Tamaki from MEZZO”....?

Tamaki: Yeah! Yes! I am! Guys, she recognizes me...!

Iori: It doesn't count if she only knows MEZZO”, right?

Mitsuki: Eeeh!? So it's not good if IDOLiSH7 isn't mentioned!?

Tamaki: Seriously!? Sou-chan, come here!

Sougo: ......, I'm Osaka Sougo. Nice to meet you......

College Girl: Kyaaaaa, Sougo-san!! I'm your fan....!

Sougo: Thank you very much.

Tamaki: Wait. Why is your reaction so different from when you met me?

College Girl: That's not true! I really like you!

Tamaki: Liesー.

Riku: Um! Do you know us!?

College Girl: Eh......

Tamaki: "I"! It starts with "I"!

College Girl: I...... A......

College Girl: Anthony....? (4)

Nagi: That person, is he that popular in Osaka?

Iori: ...... IDOLiSH7's debut might be too late, that makes it less popular than him......

Iori: We must use this opportunity to investigate thoroughly, and make IDOLiSH's existence appeal more.

Mitsuki: Oh, Iori got enthusiastic.

Iori: Yotsuba-san, Ousaka-san. The closing talk please.

Sougo: We, MEZZO”, belongs to an idol group with 7 members, IDOLiSH7.

Tamaki: We have released our debut single and we're in the middle of our album tour. Please support IDOLiSH7. Try saying it?

College Girl: IDOLiSH7!

Tamaki: Nice!

Sougo: Please support us from now on too.

College Girl: MEZZO" is getting along right before me, I'm so happy...! I knew it, you're always good friends after all!

Tamaki: ...... Aah. Um......

Sougo: Ahaha! Yes. Both of us will work hard as MEZZO” too. Thank you very much.

College Girl: Please do your bestー!

Momo: Alright. Next is Gaku and me, let's do it together!

Gaku: Fine. I will not lose.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Tenn: You said you wouldn't get noticed but, you always get called out to, right?

Momo: I do. Actually, it's me who always call out to others first! ‘Good dayー!’, stuff like that!

Ryuunosuke: Is that so. Then, we might win against Momo-san!

Momo: You won't! My tactic is, to walk as fast as possible! If they miss me, they can't stop me!

Momo: I'll avoid all of the obstacles, and get to the goal faster than Gaku!

Tenn: Calling the passengers as obstacles is a bit......

Momo: They're all my dear and lovely obstacles!! I love them!! Please support Re:vale!!

Yuki: Pfft.... He's sweet talking now.

Gaku: I also have a tactic here. Well, I'll keep it to myself for now.

Momo: Alright, let's see it later! Okay, we're going now!

Yuki: Have a nice trip.

Tenn: Don't lose.

Ryuunosuke: Do your best!

Gaku: Leave it to me.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Momo: Gaku, go away. Don't stand near me.

Gaku: Why?

Momo: The aura of the Most Desired Embrace No. 1 is hindering me.

Gaku: Well, the aura of the great Re:vale who got overall victories in Black or White is hindering me too!

Tenn: They're fighting right after leaving the studio.

Yuki: Ah, it starts.

Ryuunosuke: Momo-san, he started running! Eh, isn't that unfair?

Yuki: He got serious, so cute right.

Tenn: They stopped Gaku.

Ryuunosuke: What will he do? He said he had a tactic but......

Girl: Um.... Are you by chance, Gaku-san from TRIGGER?

Gaku: ............

Gaku: You got the wrong person. I'm not as handsome as him.

Yuki: Eh, he lied.

Tenn: And he just referred to himself as handsome......

Yuki: Hm, isn't it cowardice to lie? What do you think as fellow TRIGGER members?

Tenn: Well......

Tenn: Winning makes us TRIGGER. We have that motto.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Yuki: What's with that scary system.

Ryuunosuke: Ah! Momo-san got stopped after all!

Girl: Kyaaaa! It's Momo! You're Momo from Re:vale right!

Momo: Yeah yeah! I'm in a hurry now!

Girl: Eh, you're filming!?

Momo: Yeah yeah! We’re doing a corner of who will get to the front of the station first!

Girl: Then, I shouldn't bother you! I'm sorry! Do your best....!

Momo: It's fine~! It's alright, it’s alright! Ah! I see Yaotome Gaku there! G-A-K-U! G-A-K-U!

Girl: Eh!?

Momo: He's your favorite Yaotome Gaku, you know! Go, go! Ask for his signature! He said he's giving away his signature....!

Tenn: ............

Tenn: That's cowardice to the max, right.

Yuki: Well, Re:vale always uses any means necessary to win. We have that motto.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Tenn: Senpai, so scary~.

Yuki: Haha. Putting on a cute act?

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Ryuunosuke: Aah, someone stopped Gaku again! He's surrounded...! He got noticed after allー.

Yuki: Fufu.... Momo got to the goal. he looks so happy.

Yamato: We don't get noticed, huhー.

High school girl: Um! Are you....!

Riku: ......, Yes! Do you know me!?

Mitsuki: Alright here it is! Riku! Show her the power of the center....!

High school girl: I know! I always watch you! Um......

High school girl: The Red Sentai Ranger!

Riku: Transform!

Iori: No, you won’t....!

Tamaki: Ahaha! What Sentai is that! IDOLiSH Ranger?

Riku: You heard her? She said Red! The Red from Sentai Ranger sounds so cool, huh!?

Iori: She mistook him for something else but why is he so happy, this person......

Man: You......

Iori: What is it?

Tamaki: Ooh! Someone called for Iorin!

Man: You, you're cool. A student? Are you interested in show business?

Iori: No, I'm......

Iori: ......! Wait, manager! Don't zoom in so quickly!

Yamato: The camera is so close! Too close!

Iori: Good grief, please calm down. I'm not going to go to other agencies.

Iori: Don't nod so aggressively! The camera will be out of focus....!

Guy: Um......

Yamato: Hm? ah......

Sougo: Ah! I see, Yamato-san appeared in a drama, so...!

Mitsuki: Is it finally!? Hm...?

Guy: I knew it, Nikaidou. It's been so long! How's it going?

Yamato: Aah. Err, you're.... If I'm correct, my ex-colleague from my part-time job......

Guy: You remember. I really wanted to see you. You suddenly stopped so I couldn't say my gratitude...

Yamato: Well, a lot happened.

Sougo: ...... This, is it fine to film this?

Mitsuki: ...... Let's just leave the old man, and go somewhere else.

Nagi: I still want to watch over them.

Mitsuki: Let's go!

Mitsuki: It's hard, huhー. Getting noticed, that is. I'm starting to feel down......

Riku: I know...... We still have a long way to go......

Sougo: That's not true! Cheer up.

Tamaki: Yeah! They'll notice soon!

Riku: MEZZO”-senpai......

Mitsuki: Senpai......

Sougo: P-please stop......

Iori: We should have showed ourselves off more often. Yotsuba-san, have you promoted IDOLiSH7 properly in MEZZO” jobs?

Tamaki: I have. Like, please support IDOLiSH7......

Iori: It's not enough with just that sentence. Osaka-san, what is your favorite food?

Sougo: Eh? Chili Con Carne.... Ah! It's the Chili Con Carne I ate with the other IDOLiSH7 members!

Tamaki: So it's like that! I can do it. Ask me too.

Iori: Recently, what has been your favorite thing to do?

Tamaki: Listening to IDOLiSH7!!! 's CD with IDOLiSH7!!! members in IDOLiSH7!!! Dorms!!

Iori: That's too desperate......

Tamaki: I, Yotsuba Tamaki from IDOLiSH7!!! have come!!

Iori: Please don't shout in my ear!

Nagi: Don't mind! I'm sure, the fault is in the location. Let's move to a place that'll make them notice!

Iori: Where are we going?

Nagi: CD store.

Mitsuki: You really use any means necessary huh......

Riku: You think it's fine as long as we win? That's not good, we're idols, you know!

Nagi: Winning a match makes us idols! To overcome the strict show business, we need to become beasts sometimes.

Nagi: Even now, there might be lots of people in show business who uses nasty ways!

Mitsuki・Riku: I wonder......

Nagi: Now, to the CD store! Let's do the same pose as our CD cover, in front of our CD!

Momo: The next match is, Re:vale's Yuki versus TRIGGER's Tenn!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Yuki: Before we start, can I?

Tenn: What is it.

Yuki: I want you to have handicap.

Tenn: Eh?

Yuki: I know that Tenn will be good at this. You have a 'don't talk to me’ atmosphere surrounding you.

Tenn: ...... That's why you want a handicap for me? What kind?

Yuki: At this intersection, make a turn, and do fanservice toward the camera.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Gaku: It's like asking them to notice!

Yuki: They won't, they won't. TRIGGER's Tenn is capable of this. What a frightening child.

Tenn: Excuse me.

Gaku: Then, Yuki-san should have a handicap too.

Yuki: Fine. What should I do?

Gaku: Eh? Let's see...

Ryuu: Uum.... Ah, no make-up!

Momo: That's not good! Darling's handsome aura will go on a rampage....!

Yuki: Okay.

Momo: It's okay!?

Yuki: I'll do something about it.

Momo: Oh no. Yuki's at ease, so handsome.... Then, go ahead! Darling, do your best!

Yuki: Leave it to me.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Tenn: Then.... Gaku, Ryuu, watch over me. I'll show you the real deal.

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Ryuunosuke: Tenn, do your best!

Gaku: Don't lose, okay!?

Yuki: ............

Tenn: ............

Ryuunosuke: What a tense atmosphere......

Momo: I can tell it’s Darling even from afar through the monitor! Is it the power of love!? The others can't since it's dark!?

Gaku: No, they realized immediately.

Ryuunosuke: Ah! Tenn started walking! The passengers are turning their heads......

Gaku: They're looking at him but, no one calls for him. They're bowing though......

Momo: It's like giving way for a king. They can't help but watch over him!

Momo: On the other hand, Yuki is.... Eh!? He's messing with his bangs!

Ryuunosuke: Ahaha! He's trying to hide his face with his bangs!

Gaku: He's walking while hunching his back. It's not like the usual Yuki-san's silhouette. He is in acting mode......

Ryuunosuke: Amazing! No one recognizes him!

Momo: Oh, please!! My partner, isn't he so cool!? So handsome, right....!?

Ryuunosuke: I wonder who will win! They're not so far apart.... It's time for Tenn to do the fanservice soon!

Momo: Will he turn around....!? If it's Tenn, he will do it!

Gaku: Oh......

Momo: ...... He did it!!! Turning around & pointing his finger & and an angel's wink!!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!!

Ryuunosuke: Tenn, so cool....!

Gaku: Oh no. He's laughing. His shoulders are shaking.

Momo: Aah, the King’s aura is gone, they will call out to him....!

Ryuunosuke: Ah, a girl is coming!

A quiet girl: Um.... You're Kujou Tenn-kun, right?

Tenn: ............

Tenn: You got the wrong person. I'm not as handsome as him.

Gaku: That's my tactic....!

Ryuunosuke: This tactic is powerful, huh. I'll try it next time!

Momo: Oh! Yuki has arrived at the goal before we realized it....! You were super handsome, Yukiー!!

Audiences: Kyaaaaa....!

Momo: Do a pose, a pose! Arrange your bangs, do a handsome pose~!!

Ryuunosuke: Ah, after he fixed his bangs, people started surrounding him.

Gaku: We really can tell just from his silhouette, huh? Oh, Tenn got to the goal too! Good job, Tenn!

Momo: I'm sure everyone at the station is surprised! Getting off the train, and suddenly Re:vale's Yuki and TRIGGER's Tenn are there!

Ryuunosuke: Eh, shouldn't we help them? Both of them are surrounded......

Momo: It's time for the ending already! There we have "Conceal Your Entertainer’s Aura in the Big City!" by "NEXT Re:vale"!

Momo: We would like to end this with Tsunashi Ryuunosuke's fanservice!

Ryuunosuke: Eh!? Uum......

Ryuunosuke: ............

Ryuunosuke: You got the wrong person. I'm not as handsome as him.

Gaku: You didn't turn around?

Ryuunosuke: Eh!? I should've done that instead!?

Momo: Bye byeeー!

Mitsuki: Osaka's CD store, where is it?

Tamaki: I want to eat Okonomiyaki already.... Is Mentaiko Tokiyu delicious?

Iori: It was delicious.

Riku: I wonder what souvenirs I should buyー.

Sougo: There's so many it's hard to pick.

Nagi: HEY! GUYS! Let's go to Osaka Castle last! I want to see Ninjas!

Yamato: He went back to idle chats.

Mitsuki: Ahaha! He always......

Fan: Um! Are you Izumi Mitsuki-san!?

Mitsuki: ............

Fan: I'm your fan! I went to your live yesterday! It was so grea.... Kyaaaa!

Mitsuki: Eh!? What!?

Fan: Everyone's here!! Oh no! The seven of them are here!!!

Yamato: Wait wait! you......

Fan: Kyaaaa! Yamato-san!!

Riku: Do you know our group name!?

Fan: Kyaaaa! Riku-kun!! I know! I know it....! The MonGene costumes are so cool....!

Riku: Thank you!

Tamaki: Hey, hey, our group name! Hurry and say it, say it!! Sougo: It starts with "I"!

Nagi: Please! Call for our name!

Fan: I......

Fan: IDOLiSH7!!

Everyone: Yeeaahhh!!!

Fan: Yayy! Mitsuki-san, can I shake your hand please!!?

Mitsuki: Same here, please shake hands with me! You came yesterday!? I'm so happy!! I'm tearing up now!

Tamaki: Did I look cool?

Nagi: I was cool yesterday, right?

Fan: Everyone is so cool!! Amazing! All seven members of IDOLiSH7 are in front of me....! I really want to tell my friends!!

Yamato: Call them then. Let's eat Okonomiyaki together.

Fan: I can't!! I'm gonna die!!!

Yamato: I, see....?

Mitsuki: Same, same! I'm so happy I might die! Thank you for noticing us!

Iori: That cameraman over there! Don't cry! It'll get blurry!

Riku: Really, really, thank you!

Riku: From now on too, we will always, always, keep working hard. Please support IDOLiSH7!

To be continued...

T/N

proofread by @ousama-pudding thanks as always!!!

(1) Setsubun Mame/Mamemaki = Throwing beans outside the house or at an ogre/demon to drive away bad spirits/bad luck. Usually done on the first day of Spring and the new year according to Japan's old lunar calendar (around February). In the King Pudding Ichiban Kuji, Yamato’s card is themed after this, his costume is the ogre/demon to represent Setsubun Festival

(2) Sansai Udon. Sansai translates to mountain vegetables and it means vegetables that are naturally grown in the wild.

(3) Back in story 1, Tamaki and Sougo were working in Osaka as MEZZO" and Tamaki wasn’t able to eat Takoyaki back then as they had to rush to their next job.

(4) IDOLiSH7 is pronounced aidorisshu sebun so it starts with A in Japanese.

This is the last the latest SS as of now (9/30). The next SS will be translated after released! Thanks for reading~

[twdmusicboxmystery]

2017 Re-Watch: 7x10 - New Best Friends

Good morning and welcome to the 7x10 Re-Watch. Re-watching New Best Friends, I actually noticed quite a few things I hadn't noticed before. Most of that is because we know more after the season than we did at the beginning.

In the opening sequence, we have a lot of interesting symbols. We have Diane, the archer. I discussed the symbolism around her HERE. I was struck this time by how much emphasis they put on the line about her sister. She says her sister used to have a dress like the one walker wears. Then it's reiterated again at the end of the scene. It doesn't affect the plot at all, so it's kind of random. Which tells me it's symbolic. Also, the walker is very Beth-ish and there are a lot of symbols in this exchange that are very TD-ish so I think that is purposeful.

Jared has a line about things working like "clockwork," so a time reference. Probably the biggest thing I noticed in this sequence is that, to get the supplies for the saviors, Jerry opens a blue, hatchback car. Not only did that remind me of Beth in the trunk, but if you look inside, the containers the supplies are in are black and have enormous Xs on them. (X Theory)

We see watermelons, which is different than the melons in Bury Me Here a few episodes later. (I think those ones are honeydew melons.) Still, both episodes have melons and the ones in Bury Me Here definitely have some Beth symbolism to them.

Gavin also says, "8, 9, 10." Obviously, the 8 strikes me as S8. We have seen a few 9s--not many--around Beth and quite a few 10s. I feel like this new arc that they're starting in S8 will stretch to S10.

We also see two different people--both Morgan and Father Gabriel--wearing white shirts in this episode. They go through some changes here so that's pretty in-line with the White Shirt Theory.

Daryl also gets a new crossbow in this episode. It's the third one he's used throughout the series and that feels significant. We've all felt that he would get his crossbow back eventually from Dwight, and maybe he will, but it could also be that he'll just have this one now and that may be significant to, especially as its weapon. Beth = TF's weapon, we think and Beth = rule of 3s. Now Daryl has acquired his third bow. Just saying.

Then there's the sequence where Daryl and Richard plan to ambush the saviors on the road. I talked extensively HERE about the sheriff-type painting on the side of the truck. And how I think that's indicative of the new sheriff that's coming to fight saviors. Looking at the overall sequence, I was even more struck by what we see here.

First of all, as they're walking toward the truck, there's a sign with an arrow that says cemetery. (Think Beth and Daryl in the cemetery in Alone, as if saying the cemetery theme is that way.) 

Then we also see a red car off to one side of the truck (Red Car Parallels) and on the other side of the trailer is a mail truck (Communication Theme). All of which are symbols we've seen a lot. (The stagecoach in the western mural could also indicate the Communication theme, as that's how mail was transported in the Old West.)

During Richard and Daryl's argument Richard says of Carol. "She's tough. Maybe she'll live." Now I get that he's talking about Carol, but the only character that's ever been described as tough, especially by Daryl is Beth. So this is all symbolic. Also we have the whole thing where Daryl's yelling at Richard, "Say her damn name!" That's very symbolic of the fact that nobody has said Beth's name since episode 5x10.

There's a strong foreshadow of Richard's death here. He says, "I'd die for the kingdom."  Daryl replies, "Then why don't you?" And again, it's only important because life and death foreshadows are definitely a thing so if Beth said, "I made it. I am strong. I'm getting out," that will happen.

Meanwhile, Rick tries to convince Jadis and the Scavengers to join them against Negan. So we have the whole sequence where Rick fights Winslow. The camera focuses on a rooster and the cat Rick takes for Michonne. The rooster is a biblical symbol and we see the sun coming up behind it. Cats represent resurrection, btw.

At one point, Jadis says, "We own your lives. You want to buy them back?" It struck me as being a very Grady or Negan-like thing to say. It's about what you owe in a points system. Another parallel to Grady and Negan. 

Rick says, "It's okay." One of the "it's okay/it's not okay" theme. The thing is, when Rick says it's okay, it really is. He survives and gets Jadis to agree to the deal. Notice when Beth said it's not okay, it really wasn't. This is a dialogue foreshadowing they use a lot.

Jadis had some other dialogue I found suspicious too. She talked about how the Scavengers have been there from the very beginning. All together. Then she said, "Time's passed, things are changing again." She doesn't explain what she means by that. How are things changing for her now? Between that and who Winslow actually (another thing she refused to answer) there's a lot of mystery surrounding this whole sequence.

I'm thinking this will come up again in S9. Rick also asks what she planned to do with Gabriel. She didn't answer, but I'm sure it has something to do with her collecting people. (She asked Negan for 12 people at the end of 7x16.) Obviously we'll have to learn what that's about eventually.

When Rick climbs up the trash pile after defeating Winslow, you can see a map under his hand, which is kind of interesting. Meanwhile, he sustains a Christlike injury when his hand gets impaled by one of Winslow's spikes. 

And his watch says 3:00. That would technically indicate S3 and we've never been able to figure out exactly what that means, but I'm wondering now if it's just another rule of 3s thing. If it indicates that 3 seasons later, the Christ figure will appear, and the map represents, you know, everything to do with Beth (greenroute, route to DC, the map Cindy looks at in 7x06) it all feels very symbolic to me. And of course 3 seasons from when she disappeared would be S8.

We also have more of the "Say yes" theme in this episode. Two episodes later, that will be the title, so it's obviously an important theme. I honestly think, based on what we've seen, that it represents one of the characters agreeing to something, but they don't follow through or don't get exactly what they bargained for.

With Eugene and Rosita, she said he agreed to make her a bullet and he agreed that he'd said yes, but upon second thought, he decided maybe it wasn't worth it. With Rick and Janice, she agreed to help them fight but ends up reneging on it, as Eugene did. When Rick says yes to the deal, he doesn't get what he bargained for because Jadis ends up switching sides. I think you could also argue that with Michonne and Rick. They more or less say they're both in it for the long haul (symbolic marriage) but when Rick almost dies, they realize that if one of them dies soon, the other will have to keep going, and that's not entirely what they signed up for.

We have Daryl and Carol's mother/son theme. I won't go into that too much bc I've already analyzed it to death. Check it out HERE. Carol's piggyback book is super-important. Still not entirely sure what symbolism they're going for though.

Certain shippers will say that because we saw the piggyback and then Daryl at the door, it means romance. But remember the person he actually gave the piggyback to was Beth. They're the only two we've ever seen do a piggyback like that. I mean, for heaven’s sake, C@rol is reading a damn romance novel with a piggyback happening on the cover! It doesn’t get much clearer than that for callbacks. Even if they're saying that this means romance between Daryl and Carol, that's as good as admitting there was romance between Daryl and Beth.

I actually think it's more likely that one of two things is going on here:

1) It shows Beth is coming back soon and this is Daryl and Carol saying goodbye so that they can both have separate love interests.

2) Or, the piggyback may be to symbolize Carol's relationship with Ezekiel. He came to the door right before she picked up the piggyback book. Kind of funny that tptb put the piggyback book in between Daryl and Ezekiel's visits, making it less-than-clear. I think they're being sneaky.

(More Details on the romance novel HERE.)

I talked about the symbolism of Father Gabriel and how he's a proxy for Beth HERE.

Later on, Daryl lies to Carol about Abraham and Glenn's deaths. And let's face it, no long-term relationship was ever built on lies.

It even occurred to me that Daryl eats the stew with a spoon. Now, I'm sure Carol did too. Everyone eats stew with a spoon. But in the scene, we ONLY see Daryl eating with the spoon. Symbolically, that's kind of interesting, especially if the spoon represents Beth.

After he and Carol hug and say goodbye, he walks under a lattice that looks like a whole bunch of Xs. Just saying.

Then there's Daryl and Shiva near the end of the episode. (Awww.) Two major things to point out in the scene:

1) Daryl says to Morgan, "What you're holding onto is already gone." That's sad. It shows that Daryl's in a very dark place. I think a lot of people have the misconception that now that he's out of the Sanctuary and that he and Maggie kind of made up, he's in a really good, positive place now. And he does leave the Kingdom to go fight, and gears up for war with Rick. It SEEMS like he's being very forward thinking. Where the war is concerned, maybe he is, but he could practically be saying this about Beth. "What you're holding onto is already gone." He sees the things he did to try to honor her, such as reaching out to Dwight and Sherry, as foolish. What he was holding onto was already gone, and he sees it as naïve that he tried to find good people. He said as much in 6x10 when he told Rick that maybe Rick had been right all along and they shouldn't look for people. So, despite what it looks like on the surface, this shows Daryl is in a very dark place as S7 closes.

2) Daryl also tells Morgan, "You don't know should about me." That was Noah's line rather than Beth's, but he said it at Grady. Yet another parallel between Beth and Daryl's imprisonment arcs.

I think that's all I have for this episode. Any other thoughts?

[fabrickind]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Episode 3 Liveblog

Join me this week for episode 3: social anxiety, heteronormativity, authenticity, and schools with way too much goddamned money for their own good.

This one starts again with the fairytale framework, which was missing in episode 2. I’m making a note of this because I’m going to keep track of which episodes have this opening and if there are any similarities between them. inb4 ‘this is the episode where Nanami is introduced and that’s why there’s the fairytale since her episodes tend to have that opening

For this episode, I think it’s a combination of things. One is the somewhat obvious answer that we, as an audience, need to be reminded of this backstory. I think that it also speaks to the themes of this episode, though, in reminding us that Utena’s goal is to become a prince. Of course, as we come to find out, both the flashback and the goal of becoming a prince are false ideals, and the brilliance of this show (as I keep saying) is that it outright tells you this from the start, but in a way that makes you want to take it at face value. We will keep this idea in mind throughout this episode -- everything is precariously constructed, there’s a lot going on behind what we actually see, but we’re cued to take it all so earnestly, at face value.

And here we introduce one of Utena’s major concerns for the first arc: Anthy has no friends! We should give her some friends!

On the questions raised last liveblog about whether to take Chu-chu at face value or not, I think that we should take Anthy’s assertion here fairly literally, and this is one of the few times that I think I’m going to advocate taking anything in this show literally. I think that Chu-chu is her friend.

This exchange is interesting to me

Utena asks Anthy to stop calling her “Utena-sama,” and all of Utena’s fangirls call her that, but Utena writes it off as “a joke.” This scene seems to be calling attention to a weird sense of performance going on here. For the fangirls, it may be a joke on the surface level, but there seems to be something more authentic underneath that, especially considering that they all do it and that it seems to be a recurring thing. Oh, and Wakaba exists, of course. I’m not sure if this is Utena wanting to think that the probable actual thirst of the schoolgirls is a joke, or if it’s seen as a joke on all sides but they’re actually quite parched.

With Anthy, this seems almost inverted. Sure, she’s completely serious about being the Rose Bride. But she has no actual respect for Utena at this point, and while on the surface it may seem like she’s being deferential to her fiancee, deep down, she’s simply performing a surface-level role. It’s much more a “joke” to Anthy than it is to the fangirls.

(On a side note, my browser is flagging “fiancee” [the feminine form] as possibly incorrect spelling when I place “her” in front of it, but if I place “his” in front of it, it doesn’t. I get what it’s doing, but it’s still quite the heteronormative spell checker!)

Speaking of heteronormativity

Throughout this series, especially early on, “normal” and “heteronormative” seem to fully converge. Here, Utena wants to be seen as perfectly feminine (despite her clothing choice and fiancee) and as, more importantly, straight. To her, “normal” means “wants a boy rather than a girl.” Yes, there’s shades of “this whole dueling system is weird and I’d rather have a lover I met in an everyday way than someone I accidentally won in a duel” but I feel like the emphasis is placed on the gender of the love object here, and on Utena fitting into a model of heterosexual femininity.

Of course, no one believes her. At least, I don’t. The way to seem “normal” isn’t to parade around in a so-called “boys” uniform and declare your desire to be a prince. Her actions are seriously at odds with her words here.

  And then this asshole shows up.

That hair says otherwise, Touga. That’s major character hair right there.

And Utena provides one of her better reaction faces at what has to be one of the worst pick-up lines in anime history.

[insert joke about Anthy knowing him in the biblical sense]

(Though maybe that joke is more appropriate for the movie, where that’s actually a major plot point)

I wish I could edit out the snippet of video where Touga tries to play with Utena’s hair and she slaps him away and dramatic music plays. Everyone in this series is so extra and I love it. 

Oh no! Touga is wearing the ring! We have to go from “this guy is a total fuckboy who deserves to be slapped” to “could this guy be my prince?????” in the span of a few seconds! I guess Utena being the most oblivious character ever is part of her charm, though...

[insert joke about how Touga definitely means it in the biblical sense]

In this Student Council meeting, Miki uses the stopwatch almost right away, after Touga says that Saionji lost again. I think he’s timing when his own line should be. As per last episode, Saionji himself is still not present. Also still no weird antics at the meetings.

Anthy slap count: 3 For those participating in the drinking game ;]

So the latest Anthy rumors are about “what she did to a popular boy” (Saionji), which...middle school rumors often get things wrong, yes, but this is also the role of the Rose Bride. She’s taking on the blame for everything that went wrong, even if Saionji is the one who was an abusive asshole and is now being dramatic and refusing to leave his room.

This does make me think, though...do you know? do you know? Doesn’t that sound like the start of someone about to share some juicy gossip? I wonder how much of the Shadow Girls plays are basically the level of highly allegorical, surrealist rumor, and if we should take them as such?

I am a firm believer in the idea that Nanami is the only other character in this series who has the potential to be a protagonist, only she’s the protagonist of the wrong show (that and she doesn’t interact with the system in the way that Utena does, which is what allows for Utena to make it to the end of the dueling game). (I never said these liveblogs were spoiler-free :P) I think that her introduction here is an indicator of that -- she’s introduced in much the same way as Utena is, only without quite as much pomp and circumstance to her unveiling. There’s a strong visual parallel here, though, and to my memory, the only other character to be given this type of introduction. That is, she’s given the slow tilt up her body, starting at her feet, with the spinning rose frame, much like Utena was. Other characters may have the rose frame, but not that same level of “self-important theme music and the slow reveal of the character” that Nanami is given here.  (I know Juri has her very sad theme music mostly used in highly emotional moments, Anthy has theme music but she’s a more major character, Miki sorta has theme music but it’s mostly used in other places...do Touga and Saionji have theme music at all? Do any other side characters have theme music to the level of Nanami? Maybe Nemuro [not Mikage]? It seems as it it plays almost every time there’s something related to her on screen.)

I always go to beat up girls I don’t like with the school’s Forbidden Forest™ in the background.

Actually, I wonder if this is some sort of really weird foreshadowing -- that’s where the dueling arena is, and this is pretty much a cropped (and daylight) version of the shot that opens the Shadow Girl plays for this arc. I’m probably reading too much into it and it’s just a nice, convenient location to get into fights at. You know. In front of the big, ominous forest that all schools have.

The editing and angles in the next scene are nice -- of /course/ Anthy is playing cards with Chu-chu and Utena is just sitting in the corner, stewing. Isn’t this how most friends spend their evenings?

That is exactly the reaction I have to all of the party dresses in this episode.

Utena insisting that Anthy go to the ball and make lots of friends is an interesting moment for me

There’s that fake Anthy smile we all know and love.

I can’t remember my first watchthrough of the series and how I reacted to this particular moment. I wonder how many first-time viewers (who don’t yet realize just how complicated Anthy is) take this response at face-value, and how many realize that Anthy is quite literally obeying orders here, even if Utena didn’t intend it as such?

This scene seems to really align us with Utena’s perspective, though, in wanting Anthy to go and make friends, and having us feel sorry for Anthy for being shy, not for...well, being the Rose Bride and having been abused and tortured her whole life. Utena is trying to make Anthy into that perfectly normal girl that she so desperately wants to be herself, and is coming at this from the perspective of having average problems, not highly symbolic magical problems.

The Shadow Girls play here is a bit obscure. On the surface, it’s about how the ball is just an excuse to catch a man, and how the girls are shameless for wanting to do so, and yet our actors move back and forth between playing the town gossips and actually participating themselves as the prince and princess archetypes. That all seems relatively straightforward -- words not lining up with actions, judging others but having the same desires (even if someone queered by the fact that the prince is one of the same actors as before), setting up what happens between Utena and Anthy as explicitly romantic.

But why are there two dogs? There’s one dog when the SGs are playing the town gossips, and then two dogs when they’re the prince/princess at the ball. 

Another question of “just how rich is this school?”: they sure do seem to have a /lot/ of fancy dress parties. No industrial-looking cafeterias or gyms strewn with cheap steamers and girls in JCPenney dresses here. Nah, we have classical music and champagne. I bet the tuxedos the boys are wearing are ones that they own, not even rented.

On the point of the fangirls “joking” about calling her “Utena-sama”: clearly, they’re all /hella/ thirsty. I don’t think they’re joking as much as Utena wants to believe they are.

Yes, Utena. Yes it is.

Besides being one of the best visual representations of social anxiety I’ve ever seen,

this is also something to keep in mind come episode 34. As we get more information about her backstory, this comes to be a surprisingly authentic reliving of trauma for Anthy, and not just a display of anxiety or shyness for its own sake.

I’m actually fascinated by these moments, since they seem to be one of the few places, especially this early on, where we are allowed to see something authentic from Anthy rather than the mask she wears. Of course, we don’t realize it yet. I wonder how much of this is her allowing the mask to come off for a bit, and how much is that her trauma is too difficult at this moment to keep hidden? She does a very good job of hiding it the rest of the time, so it’s interesting that we get this scene. Or is it simply a performance of trauma, and not authentic at all?

Back to shitposting: Yuuko is the only one in the entire goddamned episode who has a passable dress.

I’ve actually looked to see if there’s a fabric that dissolves in alcohol, and the closest I can find is a rare type of rayon that dissolves in a combination of alcohol and...something else, ether maybe? It’s been a while since I’ve looked it up. Still very impractical for a garment, and nothing is going to dissolve that quickly unless that dress was made of rice paper or something.

Though, it’s mostly to give Utena an excuse to act the Prince and save her girlfriend from being humiliated and naked in front of a bunch of strangers.

I love these kinds of early series pranks, though. I feel like as we get further into the series, the whole thing becomes almost like a giant prank somehow (the cars. the cacti. the severe shortage of men wearing shirts.), but all of the problems are very serious and heavy, so it’s interesting to see the early episodes seem to take themselves so seriously and yet all of the problems are things like “someone spilled wine on someone at a party.” 

I would do the [insert obligatory joke about how she was wearing the uniform underneath that dress somehow], but that’s not actually what happened here. She’s not in her school uniform. She had her magical girl transformation. 

Of course, this is to visually set up the idea that she’s acting as the prince here. But it begs the question: whose powers cause her transformation to happen? Does this solve the mystery of why only Utena seems to get a transformation, no matter who is in possession of the Rose Bride, if those powers are somehow inherent to Utena, not to Anthy? And if so, what would that mean for the framework of the show?

Cosplay goals: make the tablecloth dress actually out of a tablecloth. Is it possible? No. But I can try.

Actually, the quick change seems to be another magical girl transformation, rather than an actual outfit. ~Suspension of disbelief~ is overrated.

And our main ship is established. Now, for the delicately constructed life of these two to come crumbling down over the course of the next 35 episodes once we learn more.

That concludes this week’s liveblog! Congrats if you made it to the end, as usual. Next Sunday (July 2nd) is the scheduled date for our next liveblog. 

A quick closing note, since I never actually talk about the next episode bits unless they’re somehow important -- it seems significant that Utena mentions that Miki has only fought one duel before this, but I can discuss that next week. Or, probably, the week after.

[neighbourart]

WIRTH ABIGAIL - festőművész, divattervező/painter, fashion designer

Imádja a "hülyemintás" zoknikat, a PEZ-es adagolókat és a cicákat. Ha fest, a "vinnyogós" élénk színeket szereti használni, szívesen belebújna Alexander McQueen vagy Van Gogh bőrébe, illetve fejébe, a Nagyijának a spenótfőzeléke a kedvence.

She loves socks with “silly” patterns, Pez dispensers and cats. When she paints she prefers to use “squeaking”, bright colors, she would like to be Alexander McQueen or Van Gogh and her favorite is her grandmother’s spinach stew.

Abigail asztala/Abigail’s table.

1. Ha újjászülethetnél egy ma élő vagy már halott művész személyében, kit választanál?/If you could reincarnate as a living or dead artist, who would you choose to be? Jajj nagyon sok olyan művész van, akinek szívesen elidőznék a koponyájában! A még szerencsére élők között is, de Alexander McQueen-re például rettentő kíváncsi lettem volna, mert egy zseni volt, illetve Van Gogh fejében is el lennék egy kis ideig.

Oh, there are so many artists of whom I would love to spend some time in their minds! There are some who are fortunately still living as well, but I would be so curious about Alexander McQueen because he was a genius, and Van Gogh is also someone I would like to be.

2. Kinek mutatod meg először az új alkotásodat?/To whom do you show your work first? Először is azoknak, akik segítettek már a munkafolyamat közben is, gondolkodni, vagy bármit. Főleg pár barátomnak, akiknek sűrűn kikérem a  véleményét, persze ezt az is meghatározza, milyen jellegű melóról van szó. Mert valamelyik utána-, illetve körbejárósabb, és véleményezősebb, míg egy divatgrafikánál kitalálok valamilyen kis világot, de az kevésbé kommunikál mögöttesebb szimbólumokkal, vagy ha igen, az egy gyorsabb születésű, vagy egy nagyobb valaminek a  vázlata.

First of all I show it to the people who participated in the work process as well. Mainly few friends of mine, I ask for their opinion quiet often, but of course this also depends on what kind of work we are talking about. Because there are ones that are deeper and call for sophisticated opinions and on the other hand, regarding a fashion graphic, I invent a little world, but these usually don’t communicate with underlying symbols and even if so, that is faster creation-wise or it is a sketch of something bigger.

3. Gyűjtesz valamit?/Are you collecting something? Elhatározásból nem gyűjtök szerintem semmit, de nagyon szeretek minden furcsa kis mütyürt, mint a PEZ-es adagolók, mindenféle aprócska porfogó, amiket el lehet becézni (főleg ha valakitől kapom, akkor már személyisége is gyorsabban lesz), matricák, amiket lehet sminkelésnél hasznosítani, minden mennyiségben gyöngyöket és hímzőfonalakat és imádom a "hülyemintás" zoknikat!

I have decided not to collect anything, but I really like all kinds of weird things like the Pez dispensers, any kind of tiny objects that you can call names (especially if it was a gift from someone, then its personality is easier to find). Stickers that can be used while putting on make-up.  All kinds of beads and crewels and I adore socks with “silly” patterns!

4. Van-e napi rutinod?/Do you have a daily routine?  Nem igazán, de néha nagyon szeretném, hogy legyen, hogy ne zavarodjak össze annyira az időben.

Not really, but sometimes I would love to have one so I don’t get so confused with time.

5. Kedvenc tárgyad?/Favorite object? Az összes kis tárgyamat szeretem. Muriel a nyanyatankom nagyon hasznos kis tárgy például, mert csinos is, és mindenféle belefér :)

I love all of my tiny objects. Muriel my “spinster-tank” is a very useful object because it’s pretty and everything fits in it. :)

6. Hogyan fogsz neki egy új munkának?/How do you get started on a new project? Az a projekttől függ, mert ugye egy nagyobb lélegzetvételű dolognak egészen másképpen kezdek neki, mint valaminek, ami kevesebb gondolkodást, összetettséget és időt igényel. Szeretem a nagyobb(nak tűnő) projekteket megosztani azzal a pár barátommal, akiknek fontos számomra a véleménye, és tudom, hogy vagy egy kérdéssel, vagy egy válasszal újabb kérdéseket vetnek fel bennem, ami előremozdítja a munka menetét.

It depends on the project because it requires a different kind of preparation when I am about to do something bigger and more complex then something that needs less thinking, complexity and time. I like to share projects that seem to be big with those few friends of mine of whose opinion matter to me and I know that by asking a question or giving an answer to one, they can encourage me to think about further questions that move the process of working forward.

7. Sör vagy bor?/Beer or wine? Semelyik sem. Nem szeretem az alkoholt. Illetve sütiben jó tud lenni, de nem a sör vagy a bor.

Neither. I don’t like alcohol. I mean it can be good in cookies and cakes, but not beer or wine.

8. Kutya vagy macska?/Dog or cat? Cinna, Bogyó, Lütyő! Első körben. Cickány egyértelműen! A cicák szuperek! Van is, volt is és lesz is. Mindnek annyira sajátos és egyedi kis személyisége van. A kutyákat egy spániel-barátom szerettette meg velem, és azóta a kuttyok is szuperek, de a macsekok a nyerők! :))

Cinna, Bogyó, Lütyő! At first. Obviously kitties! Cats are super cool! I always had cats and I always will. They all have their own, unique personality. I like dogs as well since a spaniel friend of mine made me like dogs. Since then dogs are super cool too, but cats are the winners! :))

9. Mit szeretnél kifejezni az alkotásaidon keresztül?/What would you like to express through your artwork? Ez az adott alkotástól vagy alkotásoktól függ, annak az anyagától, vagy a hozzárendelt témától.

It depends on the art work or works, the material of it or the theme in connection with it.

10. Milyen a stílusod?/What is your style like? Az adott objekttől függ: szeretem nagyon a "vinnyogós" élénk színeket. Ha festek, ezeket szeretem nagyon használni. De szeretem hímzésben is vagy ruhán. És szeretem ezeket a  technikákat keverni: valami művészibbet belevinni a textilbe, akár mondandójában, akár a megmunkálásnál, és ugyanígy a festményebe a textilt.

It depends on the given object: I very much like “squeaking”, bright colors. When I paint I prefer to use these. I also like to use them in embroidery or on clothes. And I also like to mix these techniques: putting something artistic to textile. It either appears in the saying of the textile or in the elaboration of it. And vice-versa: putting textile into painting.

11. Mi az, ami a leginkább feltölt?/What can recharge you the most? Ha sokat voltam emberek között, akkor bármi, ami lekapcsol róluk: rajzolok, hímzek, sütök, ilyenek. De előfordul az is, hogy egy jó beszélgetés a legjobb olyanokkal, akik inspirálnak.

If I have spent a lot of time among people then it can be anything that disconnects me from them: I draw, I embroider, I bake, etc. But sometimes a good conversation is the best with people that inspire me.

12. Kedvenc város?/Favorite city? Nagyon szeretem Prágát, mert olyan, mint egy ékszeres doboz! De szeretem Velencét is, mert annyira lehetetlen, és sikátoros, Londont, mert annyira brit, és mert váltakoznak a kertváros-kis-angol-sorházak, és az üveg-smaragd-modern-város részek, Párizst, mert annyira viszi az embert magával, bármerre forduljon is be az utcákon. Kedvencem nincs, és még sok városra kíváncsi lennék!

I love Prague, because it’s like a jewelry box! But I also like Venice, because it is so impossible and the tiny alleys. London, because it’s so British and because the town parts change from English houses with gardens to modern glass palaces. Paris because it sucks you in, no matter which corner you decide to turn. I don’t have a favorite and I would like to see a lot of other cities as well!

13. Hol leszel 10 év múlva?/Where will you be in 10 years? Azt nem tudom, de remélem, mindenfélével tudok majd foglalkozni, és minél több mindenre kíváncsi, és befogadó leszek.

I don’t know, but I hope that I can deal with a lot of things and I also hope that I will be curious and receptive about a lot of things.

14. Kedvenc étel?/Favorite food? Nagyim spenótfőzeléke! De általában a spenót, bárhogyan. Meg többnyire sok zöldség, meg bogyós gyümölcsök.

My grandmother’s spinach stew! And spinach in general, anyhow. And mostly vegetables and berries.

15. Kedvenc évszak?/Favorite season? Nem szeretem a nagyon döglesztő bőrlekapkodós hőséget, és a rettentő csontig hatoló hideget sem. Azon kívül bármit :D Mert mindegyik tud szép lenni.

I am not fond of heavy, skin-scratching heat and of freezing cold that gets to your bones either. Any-thing in between. :D Because every season can be pretty.

16. Mi a legrosszabb tulajdonságod?/What is your worst characteristic? Félek az emberektől. Nem mindig értem őket. Tömegben pedig kifejezetten irtózom tőlük. És az idővel is nagyon rosszban tudok lenni, ami az én hibám, nem szegény időé persze. Meg a valósághoz való viszonyom is olyan, hogy vagy nem értem, vagy nem akarom érteni, ami szintén nehezít egy csomó mindent.

I am afraid of people. I don’t always understand them. In a crowd I am terrified of them. And I am not on good terms with time either, which is my fault, not poor time’s of course.  And my relation to reality is also like I either don’t understand it or I don’t even want to which also makes things more challenging.

17. Melyik korban élnél szívesen?/In which era would you prefer to live in? Jajj szinte bármelyikben! Az lenne a legjobb, ha lenne egy TARDIS-féle időgépem és bele lehetne lesni egy csomó korba. Régen még talán tudtam volna egy konkrét kort választani, de mostanában rácuppanok egy-egy korszakra, a rokokóra vagy a viktoriánus korszakra vagy a századfordulóra, a negyvenes évekre, vagy a nyolcvanas évekre, és utána hirtelen mindegyik nagyon karakteresnek, és izgalmasnak és "gyereismerjmeg"-nek tűnik.

Oh, in almost any of them! The best would be to have a TARDIS-like time-machine and I could peek in to each of them. A long time ago maybe I could have picked a specific era, but now I get stuck with rococo or the Victorian age or the turn of the century, the 40’s or the 80’s and then suddenly all of them seem very characteristic, exciting and “come-get-to-know-me”-like.

18. Mi az az alkotás, amit mindenképpen meg kell csinálnod, mielőtt meghalsz?/What is that specific artwork you have to accomplish before you die? Ebben sem vagyok biztos, de szeretném, ha legalább egy dolognál eljutnék oda, hogy nekem is tetszik, és nem csak a folyamat, hanem a kész dologra is azt tudom mondani: készen van és olyan lett, amilyet szerettem volna.

I am not so sure, but I would like to reach a point where I am satisfied with at least one work of mine,  and I can say about the outcome not just the process that: it is finished and it is like I wanted it to be.

------------------------------------- NÉVJEGY - Wirth Abigail:

"Decemberben egy részeg ember elkezdte magyarázni nekem, hogy tudom-e, létezik az univerzumban egy Föld nevű bolygó, amit emberek laknak. Én értettem, hogy ő engem UFO-nak nézett, de ő meg részeg volt és fura, úgyhogy nem tudom melyikünk volt akkor éppen bizarrabb. Érettségi után divattervezést kezdtem el tanulni, mert a szüleim jobban örültek volna, ha grafikusnak megyek. Aztán úgy alakult, hogy halasztanom kellett és közben felvételiztem a Képzőre grafikára és festő szakra, végül mégis inkább a  festés mellett döntöttem, ahol aztán egy évig bírtam, de tavaly befejeztem a textilt. Igazából sok mindennel szeretnék foglalkozni. Egyik sem vagyok igazán, mindegyikből hiányzik a másik. Úgyhogy most próbálom kitalálni mi is az az út, amit járnom kell, ahol a textiltől kezdve a formákon át, a 'művészet' és a  grafika is találkozhat, meg az egyebek. Ahol nem hiányzik semmi."

“In December a drunken person came up to me, and he started to explain to me that there is a planet called Earth in the Universe and it is inhabited by humans. I understand that he thought I am extra-terrestrial but he was drunk and weird, so I don’t know which one of us was more bizarre. After fin-ishing high school I started to learn fashion design, but my parents wanted me to become a graphic designer.  And then life turned out so that I had to postpone my studies and I applied to the University of Fine Arts to a painter and graphic design major. At the end I decided to go to the painter major which I did for a year. Last year I finished the textile major.  I would like to deal with everything, a lot of things. I am not really either of these, each of them misses the other. So now I am trying to figure out what my path is: where there is a chance for the textiles and shapes and art and graphics to meet and there is nothing missing.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ABIGAIL MUNKÁI ITT TEKINTHETŐK MEG/CHECK OUT ABIGAIL’S WORK HERE: http://wirthabigail.tumblr.com/tagged/wirthabigail https://www.facebook.com/WIRTHABIGAIL https://www.instagram.com/abigailwirth/ https://www.behance.net/ABIGAILWIRTH