#like. wow you actually read this??? for fun??? it’s insane to me

[catboygretzky]

Do I even want to know what happened in the last 24 hours 😭 I'm almost afraid to ask but I'm also insanely curious

You probably don't want to know but I'll tell you because you have no choice. This will be long and...awful. But there are sources so that's fun! Please keep in mind that this was all released within 24 hours on Thursday, September 20th, 2024 and that, unfortunately, I haven't mentioned everything.

But! The GOP was certainly having a wild one yesterday.

To start things off:

The first 'Big News' to break was about Mark Robinson.

For those saying 'who the fuck is Mark Robinson', he's the current (R) Lt. Gov of North Carolina that is running for Gov. Before yesterday, he was best known for openly hating LGBT+ and Jewish folks, being a Holocaust denier, being (forcefully) anti abortion, saying it was better when women couldn't vote, anti immigrant, hating the civil rights movement, etc, just being a hateful Evangelical nasty fascist. MAGA to his core. Trump has endorsed him, saying he should be cherished and calling him "MLK on steroids". (Robinson is Black).

So, yeah, that's bad enough right? Yesterday it got even worse. CNN released a report about some comments he made on a porn site forum 12 years ago, the most prominent being 'i'm a black NAZI'. He also commented that he wished slavery was legal and that he'd own a few, and called himself a 'perv' that used to 'peep' on women in public locker rooms when he was a teenager.

Also the tale as old as time that I'm sure you could guess when I mentioned 'GOP' 'loudly transphobic' and 'porn site scandal' - trans porn was a favourite of his. Because of course.

Also of course - the GOP hasn't taken him off the ticket, and he will continue to be the nominee for governor in North Carolina!

Read the article, there's more about him and the situation in general. Mind the warnings.

-

Now on to our favourite worm brained bear eating anti vaxxer conspiracy theorist, Robert F. Kennedy Junior! I'm putting this under a read more now.

The first thing to drop about him yesterday was the news of an investigation after he allegedly cut off the head of a dead whale and took it home 20 years ago. Now I bet you're thinking, wow that's bad! Unfortunately for RFK Jr yesterday got worse. It was then revealed that he (70) was having an affair with right wing journalist Olivia Nuzzi (31) after New York Magazine suspended her.

Everything I learn about RFK Jr I learn against my own will.

-

Saying goodbye to RFK for now, let's move on to Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida! This Matt Gaetz, with the botox if you didn't recognise him.

Scary lookin, right?

This isn't a completely new story (here's an article about how he alledgedly paid for sex with a minor) but new court filings were released yesterday alledging that he attended a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the alleged sex trafficking scandal.

Sure is great to have such trustworthy men representing this country!

OKAY, on to the next.

-

This wasn't really breaking news because this is just Trump being Trump but he gave a speech at an ANTI ANTISEMITISM EVENT where he preemptively blamed the Jews for being the reason he'll lose this election, telling them they need to get their head checked if they vote for Harris (that's pretty much part of his stump speech by now though) and saying he'll reinstate his Muslim ban. White fascist blaming Jews? Wow, I did Nazi that coming.

-

I genuinely could go on, I really truly could.

Oh! Kamala Harris went on Oprah and it was really nice and not at all insane and she talked to the family of the first known victim of Trump's abortion ban and it was very touching. Trump's official social media then posted a clip of her talking about her gun and saying 'If somebody breaks into my house, they're getting shot' like it was a snatch when in reality Republicans in the comments are saying 'actually, this would make me vote for her'. Thanks, Trump Team for the free advertising!

Misc:

Chris Rufo (known racist and anti immigration right wing activist) got revealed to have an illegal immigrant wife, and then got revealed to be a user of Ashley Madison (database where people go to cheat on their partners)(Robinson was also on Ashley Madison).

Jasmine Crockett during her thing and ripping white republicans to shreds. (idk this was just fun to me)

Actually Republicans and Project 2025 got ripped to shreds and shut down in general by multiple Congress members.

GOP is on the brink of causing a government shutdown, because of COURSE they are.

Cards Against Humanity sues SpaceX over “invasion” of land on US/Mexico border.

Anyway there's actually MORE believe it or not but I can't remember if it happened yesterday. Thank you for reading, I'm always open to discussing current events. I don't think it's a well known fact that I'm into politics because I don't talk about it on tumblr because people are kinda stupid. Anyway!

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

not to be dramatic or anything but i'm as much excited for your sketchbook week fics than the actual final season of hilda the series

BRO THIS IS THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT??????? Thank you so much, this ask made my day 🥹🥹 hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them, have a happy sketchbook week!

[ironmanstan]

I am the king of writing papers twice as long as they should be

[astrxealis]

fun story i got the dlc of 'a date with death' at school LMFAO ..... i have cash but not gcash (it's a filipino thing) so i was talking w my friend in class who also played the game (and she calls me a nerd /pos a lot lol) and i was like i want the dlc but i have no gcash... and she was like ok i'll give you gcash..... enabler ....... but also she wants me to tell her abt it so. ^_^ ecks dee

[volfoss]

i cant even like post about the horrors that are going on currently because im gonna get too mad but oh my god. like i would give her really good credit for writing a character like marius that has 0 self awareness about his insanely disgusting behavior bc like. that CAN work. you can make the reader feel disgust and see things through the eyes of someone who is horrible while not romanticizing the behavior. clearly anne did not get the memo for this one.

[dilfkuza]

finally got my Ao3 set up and my first yakuza fanfic posted! makes sense the first one my brain would make is minedai focused lmao Mine is always on my brain frfr. idk if tumblr is still weird about links or not but I'll be sharing it soon

[astonmartingf]

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT! ; F1 GRID

f1 grid x driver!reader . . . gen z f1 driver ranks previous crushes in f1 in a new tiktok video that sends fans in a coma /real

amgf well well well, guess who's back (hopefully) uhm i'm enrolled and officially an intern 😀👍 we love to see that, i made this before hungary i think? but yeah, i have too many drafts and no will to write, i'm blaming the new season in wild rift 😋 and because i've been busy with the internship thingy... a lot of seminars and preparations to do sooooo i hope you enjoy this like always

yourusername uploaded a new video

. . . view 736,937 comments

user73 hello? came running from twt, everyone talking about this

user62 i thought people were making a big deal on twt like usual but this is actual next levels of insane

user32 yn was bored with summer break and decided to break the internet and possibly the team's pr manager

user50 i relate because i too am not immune to blond hair and blued eyed men...

landonorris i think you forgot to message one more driver on the grid...

→ yourusername you're right @/yukitsunoda0511 i had a crush on you before 😌☝️

→ landonorris i meant a british driver on the grid...

→ yourusername alex is already there???

→ landonorris a mclaren driver perhaps.....

→ yourusername oh my gosh you reminded me!!!! i definitely had a really tiny crush on mclaren @/carlossainz 😋🫶

→ yourusername look lando i specifically said in the second slide that if you're not there then i probably hated you, people said you have poor reading comprehension, didn't think it'd be true 🫤

user38 cleared lando fr!!!!!!

user93 no charles leclerc, max verstappen, daniel ricciardo? fraud 🤥

→ user05 wtf not everyone likes them????

→ user17 y'all it's not that deep, this is yn's crush ranking why are y'all projecting////

georgerussell catching strays on a post about you having a crush on alex before????

→ yourusername oh well... i say it the way i see it and i see the way you look at alex 🙄🙏

logansargeant well well well

→ yourusername shut up logan 🙄

→ oscarpiastri no... but this is interesting ✍️ ain't it @/logansargeant?

→ yourusername shut your traps, i didn't give y'all exclusive content for you to run your mouth online

→ user48 honey i fear you're already running your mouth enough 🥹

user72 is no one taking about the mick one???? like??? i'm thinking about their f3 and f2 moments now and i see it

→ user49 OMG!NNN exactly! i get it now, the tension when they're together

jensonbutton reading your message at 2am asking for permission is not something i expected, my question though is... am i p1?

→ yourusername technically you're p-last atm but considering you're my first f1 crush i guess you're p1

→ jensonbutton i see... one rank higher than @/nicorosberg 👍

→ nicorosberg is this what catching strays mean @/yourusername?

→ yourusername yes 😭

dennis_hauger this is not what i said to you, i'm about to sue for defamation

→ yourusername you can't do that, i need a wag to bring for races

→ dennis_hauger i'm racing too?

→ yourusername and?

user85 mr dennis hauger??? did we miss three chapters here?

→ user69 no!!! they've been going at it since the beginning look up the 2022 f2 season

→ user03 there are various compilations in youtube and in yn's youtube channel !!!!

mickshumacher what is this? this is not what you sent me?

→ yourusername is it slander yn day? i'm out here airing my business and y'all say i'm a fraud istg

→ mickshumacher hahahahahaha but i agree with everything you said, i felt the same way

→ yourusername hello? when was this?

→ mickshumacher probably three, four years ago? same year with you, things didn't just work out

→ yourusername dang so you could've been my wag? ngl glad it's not you 😂🫵

→ mickshumacher i agree, who would want to be with you atp

→ yourusername slander and defamation?????

→ mickshumacher well who doesn't have a wag now? exactly, not me

yourusername wow i made this so we could have fun, but now everyone is just making fun of me, might as well delete this before the PR team sees this 😮‍💨

→ user52 noooooo please keep this up

→ user17 this is actually very slayful if you!!! don't ❌❌ let 🫵 the haters 🤡😈💩 stop 🛑✋ you

→ user28 this is actually what we want this summer, i'm begging 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

[the-ancient-dragons]

Welcome back to Overcomplicating the Pyrrhian Tribes! This week: the beloved RainWings!!

You know what's up. Joy Ang and Tui are so cool and I am just me.

Details and explanation below!

Otherwise, next week are the chilly IceWings! See you then!!!

More overcomplicated dragons.

I knew the RainWings would be really important, and I think they turned out the best of all the ones I've done. I think they're my favourite because they are basically the perfect mix of extra realism spice without altering Joy's design too much. The SkyWing design is awesome and I love it to bits, but it is one of the two that are the farthest from canon.

As for the RainWing.... I had. So. Much. FUN. I heavily used chameleons and snakes - they're basically the two main species on my research board - but there is a dash of cuttlefish and frilled lizard in there. Where, you ask? Well if you look closely, all over the RainWing are little tiny flecks of darker colour. I found a beautiful reference of a close-up on a cuttlefish eye. Its skin is dotted in thousands of little marks and I thought that would be perfect for the RainWing, who can camouflage just as well as them. I don't know if it's been discussed in canon but I bet they could animate their scales more than just colour shifting - cuttlefish are known for using their rapidly shifting patterns to hypnotize prey. RainWings could do it too, sort of like Ka from Disney's 2D animated Jungle Book.

Speaking of Ka - snakes. I love snakes. The head structure of the RainWing here is very smooth and rounded with muscles based on snakes like the python. I was even going to originally draw them in a venom striking pose and got as far as completing the lineart, but ultimately decided it wouldn't fit the calm portraits of the other tribes.

Will you see it in the future? Hell yeah! Pure, unhinged, magical death spit. Looking at it now I might try to alter it to be a full piece of Glory attacking Scarlet or Crocodile.

In the striking pose you can see the frills much better, but I still took my time on this serene pose (this is where the frilled lizard influence comes in). If you notice that I've drawn every scale (every single scale) then, yes, I am insane. If you didn't know that yet, you know it now. You have to draw guide lines and follow them meticulously while you wonder why you don't make a scale brush, and then cry because you know the randomness and imperfections that come from drawing a thousand circles is how it looks natural. The eye area is actually my favourite part, since drawing dragon eyelids was the original inspiration for doing this. Did I mention that? I wanted to draw eyelids.

EYELIDS.

I digress. Besides the eyelids, I like the frills on the action pose, but this pose is where I like the body scales more. When zooming in on my chameleon colour refs, I noticed the very rhythmical distribution of their scales and figured I would give it a try. They actually do have extra large circular scales along their bodies, which is where I guess the canon RainWing design gets it from. Very clever, Joy!

Anyway, on this version, those small circular scales appear on the face. Not only that, but I added a bit of influence from the snouts of my ref chameleons by extending the nose bridges to wrap around the nose horn. They blend in so seamlessly and that's the reason why I love this design - it's subtle, barely there, mostly Joy but a little extra.

Wow, I talk too much. If you're here, thank you! It's not mandatory to read, but very appreciated. I heard once that visitors at an art gallery look at each piece an average of 2-3 seconds. Or was it 3-6? Idk, but it was shockingly short, and ever since then I've tried to encourage myself to pay more respect to other artists and glean their work for little details I skip after that quick glance. I could talk so much more about these designs but that would be like an hour long video, each, lol. If you have questions about anything, ask away!

[seungfl0wer]

list 1: 18, 30, 59 is driving me insane, it doesnt matter which member honestly 😭

*Didn’t Know You’d Like That*

Pairing: Jisung x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Choking, Hair Pulling, Biting, Breeding, Creampie, Unprotected (P in V), lots of dirty talk. Think that’s all? (Not Proof read)

Prompts are: 18 “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” 30 “Sit” 59 “I didn’t know you liked that”. All of these are from my first prompt list (Here) I also have a second prompt list (Here)

Ugh it took me a bit to figure who I wanted to do I saw you’ve been getting wrecked by 3racha so figured to do one of them. Hope you enjoy it cause I really really did.

-🩵

Jisung sat across from you while you both played a card game. You’ve beat him the last 3 rounds, you definitely were feeling a little cocky about it too. “Ji you kinda suck” you teased pushing him with your foot you had against him under the table. “Excuse me” he scoffed tickling your foot. “I just think you’re cheating, plus there’s nothing to gain from winning.” He shrugged.

“So you don’t wanna win cause there’s nothing to gain? Wow really been hanging with Minho to long huh” you laughed. He chuckled at your words then a light bulb went off in his head. “I have an idea to make it more fun” he smiled a devilish smile “how about whoever loses next has to do a strip tease for the other.” That smug smile across his face dared you. He knew you were competitive so he knew you’d do it however what you didn’t know was this man was 100% hustling you. He was actually really good at this game and now that there was something to win he was gonna go for it.

You looked at him for a brief moment “Ji just tell me you’re horny.” You teased rolling your eyes “bet though, I’ll kick your ass again” you said with a smug smile. “I’m a man always am horny” he shrugged as he dealt the cards. You picked your hand up smirking at the cards thinking you had this in the bag. However it was so hard to read Jisung, he’s a bad liar for the most part but games like this he’s got a stone poker face. “Guess you better start stripping pretty boy.” You said putting your cards down.

The smile that creeped across your face was quickly wiped away by Jisung “I don’t think so princess” he said as he put his down revealing a perfect hand. You whined looking at him with a serious face “you cheated there’s no way” he couldn’t help but laugh at your words “nope told yeah if there’s something to gain I’ll actually do it.” He said standing up making his way to the couch. “Now I’m ready for my show sweetheart” he said that stupid smug grin creeping on him, just wanted to smack it off of him (in a loving way).

Although Jisung and you were friends this wouldn’t be the first time he’s seen you naked. Hell it wouldn’t even be the 4th time, you were always kinda whatever about being naked around him. Did he ever mind? No. Why would he? Getting to see his beautiful best friend’s body like that? He loved it, loved you were so comfortable with him. What he didn’t love though is how much you always teased him and then he was stuck just thinking about you while he fucked his fist.

You sighed getting up looking at the cocky man in front of you “fine, but don’t come crying to me when you get a boner.” You teased. You slowly made your way towards him taking off certain clothes and letting them drop to the floor. The way you moved your hips moved and the way the lights hit your curves had him in a trance. You could see his bulge growing quickly “such an easy boy hmm.” You said standing in front of him “you’re just to damn hot.” He said his words airy and hot. As you let your last bit of clothes fall you were fully naked in front of him. He felt like he was about to go crazy even more so as you went behind him leaning down towards his ear “so hard for me and I haven’t even done anything.”

Jisung almost moaned in reply his head spinning a bit from arousal. He snapped back out of it as you kept talking “such a horny man hmm? So hard for his best friend, I bet you think about me all the time when you touch yourself hm?” You said nipping at his ear. As you made your way back around you could see his body language change. His eyes were glued to you “sit” he said his voice low, it sounded almost like a growl. He pat his thigh looking at you daring you to say something smart. To his surprise though you did, siting down his bulge perfectly sandwiched itself between your folds.

He looked you over a second before he quickly started to suck on your neck making you buck your hips in return. The feeling made him go almost crazy biting harshly onto your neck you let out the loudest moan rolling your hips onto his clothed hard on. His other hand gripped at your neck moving it to give him more room as he continued the assault on it. Leaving pretty little purple marks mixed with teeth marks all over your neck. His hand gripped your throat a bit hard as the free one smacked your ass every time you moved your hips.

You were almost drooling at the sensation, your neck being a sensitive spot for you. “Fuck Ji, please- I- fuck- fuck me fuck me” you babbled your brain already to fuzzy from him. “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth.” He teased pulling away from your neck latching his lips now to yours. The kiss was sloppy full of need and lust. Your tongues wrestled as you grinned on him needing any sort of friction. “Fuck princess, ok let me take my pants off quick.” He said pulling away from the sloppy kiss.

As you moved you your eyes were met with the big wet patch you had left on him. His sweats having a clear outline where you’ve been grinding. The way his eyes grew at the sight almost made him go feral he discarded his pants quickly pulling you back on his lap. Kissing you again as you grinned on his now unclothed cock. What he lacked in girth he made up in length, his cock a bit curved as well.

You both moaned at the feeling before he moved himself “take your seat on the thrown princess” he said he would have cringed at his words but he was already too far gone for that. You slowly sunk down on his cock letting the feeling of him burn into your brain. You could feel him so deep, your walls almost molding to him. Your legs went almost jelly as you tried to move “Ji-“ you said softly.

He smiled moving his hips upward “my princess is already so fucked out of her brains she can’t move? I bet you’ve been thinking of me too huh. Thinking of me filling this pretty little cunt of yours? Hmm?” His words flowed out as he moved his hip digging his nails into your ass. You nod in response making him raise a brow “oh you have, have you? Think about me fucking you hard? The feeling of me filling you so full of my cock?”

“Yes- fuck Ji” you whimpered out his words driving you crazy “and now look at you bouncing on my cock, your cunt sucking me in. I can feel how much my words are driving you crazy, your cunt squeezes around me.” He continued to ramble picking his pace up. He moved one of his hands coming down to play with your clit, god you were so sensitive right now it was crazy. The moan you let out echoed in the room, the sound drove him mad. He latched himself back to your neck biting and sucking it harshly as he fucked you deep.

You could feel your high coming it was like a damn overflowing ready to just break at any moment. Jisung griped your hair pulling your head back a bit “touch yourself as I fuck you, I want you to cum all over my cock.” He growled his hand now wrapping around your waist pulling your body close to his. You did as you were told as he fucked you mercilessly. “Ji- I’m- fuck” you cried out as you felt the damn ready to burst “fucking hell princess” he groaned out.

“I’m gonna fucking breed you so deep.” His words hit a part of you that made you go crazy. His words, his cock pounding you and the your fingers stuttering over your sensitive nub. “Jisung- fuck please f-fill me breed me- fuck jisung!” You almost screamed out the damn finally busting the strew of your moans and the way your walls gripped him had him coming undone in no time.

He gripped your body tightly as he thrusted hard deep into you before cuming deep into you. His white strings painted pictures all across your walls. The feeling of him cuming so hard inside you had another wave rush over you making your body jolt squirting all over his cock. The rush of hot liquid coating both of you, he pulled you into a loving kiss holding you so tightly to him. “Didn’t think you’d like that, that much” he smirked his eyes looked sleepy almost as he kissed you again.

You could only nod resting your head on his shoulder your body shaking a bit. He helped you get cleaned up grabbing you a drink of water as he cleaned himself off. He laid down on the couch pulling you into his arms snuggling you tightly. Your body still feeling a bit jello-y. He peppered kisses against your shoulder “such a sweet girl, you did such a good job.” He cooed “let’s watch a movie and relax hmm? Want me to order food?”

You looked up at him and kissed his lips softly “food it is, I’ll order sweetheart. You ok though?” He said softly you nod holding onto him tightly “yeah, just want cuddles” you said voice sleepy. “Of course princess anything for you.” He said kissing your head curling back into the couch with you. You both never ended up getting food, falling asleep to quickly afterwards.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[whyse7vn]

WHAT ARE WE? -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: hi

yoongi: i bet you are

y/n: what are we?

yoongi: go away

y/n: WOAH?????????????????????????????

I BET YOU ARE IS INSANE??????????????

yoongi: are you?

y/n: NO????????

yoongi: ur no is a question

do you not remember getting high

that probably means you are

high that is

y/n: I’M NOT

yoongi: if you say so

y/n: stop pushing ur druggy agenda onto me

it’s not right OR real

yoongi: deny the truth all you want

y/n: ur not funny you know that?

yoongi: i’m laughing so i think ur wrong

y/n: you are?😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

proof? 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

video proof btw 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

yoongi: be normal challenge failed yet again btw

y/n: omg yoongi’s that was funny

ur like levelling up ur communication skills

yoongi: you say that like i’m a sim from ur stupid game

and i’ve always been funny this is not a level up this is just me

y/n: when he’s just as delusional as you>>

yoongi: i am funny

we’ve talked about this

y/n: ur funny to me definitely!!!!

yoongi: i’m funny to everyone

y/n: no !

but i love ur confidence it’s so sexy yoongi >\\<

yoongi: it’s fact not confidence

stop calling me by my name

y/n: babe

yoongi: whatever

y/n: so when i asked you what we are

yoongi: girlfriend

y/n: boyfriend

yoongi: yeah so shut up

y/n: why can’t we have fun like other couples do

yoongi: we are not other couples

y/n: essentially what you said is they not like us

kendrick lemar reference

didn’t know you was down with the culture like that

yoongi: yeah

whatever you just said to me

y/n: beat ur ass and hide the bible if god watching

yoongi: didn’t know u were religious

y/n: trying to strike a cord and it’s probably A MINORRRRRRR

yoongi: now ur suddenly musically inclined

ok

y/n: they not like us

they not like us

yoongi: ok

y/n: yoongi i’m tapping the song for you

yoongi: oh

what song is it

y/n: THEY NOT LIKE US

you said you knew what it was

yoongi: i don’t even speak english fr

y/n: so you speak it for fake?

yoongi: how was i supposed to know you were doing that song

y/n: you know what we are

yoongi: what

y/n: divorced

yoongi: ok 👍🏼

they not like us

HOSEOK -

y/n: bro

hoseok: dude

y/n: why is it jhope on the street????

why isn’t it it jhope in his 476 billion won mansion

why

hoseok: maybe cuz i don’t own a 476 billion won mansion idk?

y/n: LAME

hoseok: my fault

y/n: i’m glad you get it

hoseok: what do you want

y/n: what are we

hoseok: i would say we gang

we tight fr

y/n: ??????

what are we ^^DOING TODAY

hoseok: oh

y/n: should i slap you

hoseok: 😼

y/n: bye

hoseok: come back gang

ily gang

i fwu bro

come back homie

y/n: is this racially charged?

hoseok: don’t say that 😟

y/n: said it

so is it?

hoseok: what if it was

y/n: oh so ur a racist is what ur saying

hoseok: i said what IF

geez woman read 🙄

y/n: and a sexist ok

hoseok: what if i killed myslfe

y/n: what if you could spell

hoseok: *myself

what if i killed myself

y/n: you would die a racist and a sexist

hoseok: 😔

y/n: i’m bored

hoseok: ok

i would say let’s go out

but who wants to hang won’t with a racist and sexist loser who can’t even spell 😔

y/n: no u right

hoseok: you know you lack the motherly instincts to care and nurture

y/n: you lack the attractiveness of jungkook

hoseok: ok wow

y/n: don’t fight when you know you can’t win

hoseok: you told me my face card go crazy tho 😟

y/n: crazy in debt

hoseok: act like an angel dress like crazy

y/n: all the girls are girling

hoseok: do ever sit back and think omg hoseok the loml might be depressed let me be nice to him and cook him a meal out of love

y/n: no

hoseok: you were right in asking me what we are

cuz you can’t be my girlfriend

you just can’t

y/n: ok so i actually asked what we’re doing today

not

what are we

so

hoseok: ily

y/n: ???

hoseok: i love you

y/n: i love you too 😘💞😜🔥

hoseok: ok stop

y/n: 😔

JIMIN -

y/n: what are we?

jimin: if we were jin we would be hungry

y/n: you can’t keep saying shit like that

jimin: who’s gonna stop me

ooo maybe jin

he could like eat me or smth LMAO

y/n: bet you taste like shit

jimin: you should know

y/n: ok woah

jimin: who said that whatttt

y/n: pls don’t spread my private information like that

jimin: but

y/n: DON’T say anything gross rn

jimin: ok i don’t even like you fr

y/n: yeah

so what are we?

jimin: not jin

y/n: i’m aware

jimin: ok so stop asking

y/n: i’m asking what are WE are

not if we’re jin

jimin: ok but WE aren’t jin

so i think that’s ur question answered

y/n: be fr

jimin: you scratch my back i scratch yours

y/n: that sounds shady as hell??

jimin: shady under the sheets

y/n: …

jimin: mmmmmm yeah

y/n: ??

jimin: sorry

y/n: you should be

jimin: horny

y/n: couldn’t tell

jimin: i’m subtle like that

y/n: sure

jimin: come over 😜

y/n: 🖕🏽

TAEHYUNG -

tae: ur the only one in this life that matches my freak

y/n: no i don’t

tae: yes you do babe don’t be so hard on yourself 🙄💞

y/n: no i’m telling you i don’t match your freak

nor do i want to

like on purpose

tae: ok so what am i to you

what are WE?

y/n: i was supposed to ask you that question

tae: see i knew

cuz our freaks are matched

so i knew you were gonna ask me that

y/n: that’s not how matching freaks works

tae: don’t deny our match

it hurts my heart babe

it hurts me

❤️

see that?

it’s my heart

but it’s hurt

so it looks like this

💔

sometimes a perfect exterior doesn’t mean a perfect interior

y/n: shut up

tae: will you match my freak?

y/n: will you stop talking

tae: only if can we cuddle

y/n: whatever

tae: so are you gonna match my freak 😆

y/n: yes

tae: 🦶

y/n: nvm

NAMJOON -

y/n: btw what are we?

namjoon: humans

y/n: ok

namjoon: are you mad at me???

y/n: no

namjoon: was that a trick question?

y/n: no

namjoon: i’m sorry

y/n: ok

namjoon: you are mad at me

y/n: am i?

namjoon: yes

but i’m not sure why

work with me here pretty

y/n: no

namjoon: you said what are we

so i’m guessing what i said wasn’t the right answer

y/n: idk

namjoon: hmmmm

like as in us?

you and me

our relationship??

y/n: SO YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS ASKING BUT STILL GAVE ME THAT STUPID FUCKING ANSWER

hUmAnS 🤓☝🏽

namjoon: oh wow

i didn’t know honestly babe

swear on it

y/n: ok DON’T care

namjoon: we are in love

you are the love of my life

my person

my everything

y/n: heh rrly 😼?

namjoon: i’m kinda hurt that you had to ask pretty

we’ve been together for 4 years now?? you should know what we are

y/n: I’M SORRY

IT WAS A JOKE A FIRST BUT THEN UR ANSWER PISSED ME OFF

my fault og 😔💔

my fault my heart 😔💔

m-my fault 😔💔 *tears up*

namjoon: it’s okay my love

did you just stutter though text?

y/n: yeah

you fw it?

namjoon: sure

y/n: sure isn’t yes

namjoon: yes

y/n: ok now ur yes feels fake

like i forced it out of you

namjoon: you didn’t

i said yes because i liked it

y/n: ok it still sounds like i forced you to say that with a gun to ur head

namjoon: but you didn’t

y/n: feels like i did

namjoon: but you didn’t

you know that and i know that so it’s fine my love

y/n: is it

namjoon: is

y/n: what if our messages get leaked and they say i’m like keeping you against ur will

namjoon: i’ll tell them you’re not

y/n: they won’t believe you

namjoon: they will

y/n: if you say so

namjoon: i do

y/n: hot 😼

SOEKJIN -

y/n: what are are we?

jin: she’s just left you can come over now 😮‍💨

y/n: omgggg ok jimin yk who just fell asleep i’m on my way

jin: that’s not even funny and i’m not even sleeping

y/n: wdym jimin??

jin: NOT FUNNY

y/n: that’s what i thought

jin: whatever

y/n: also never use that emoji ever again

it feels like a youthful emoji and ur not that

basically agephishing

jin: fishing??

y/n: SIGHSSSS anyways

what are we?

jin: ??

y/n: what are we?

jin: ???????????????

y/n: what are we?

jin: ??????????????????????

y/n: clearly YOU’RE illiterate

jin: when i want to be

y/n: wowwwww

jin: yeah

y/n: but you were bugging out at the jimin thing

jin: if you mention the enemy’s name again what YOU’RE gonna be is blocked

y/n: u love me deeply

jin: whatever helps to sleep at night

y/n: you

jin: ok that was cute

y/n: you love me be honest

jin: just a bit

y/n: winnnnnnn

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: what are we?

jk: sometimes i like to pretend that we are ants i’m a worker ant

and ur the queen

and my biggest concerns in life are bringing you food and avoiding being stepped on

y/n: ok so like that’s a little bit insane kook!

jk: 😕

y/n: and you said pretend? not think

jk: yeah 😕

y/n: oh!

ok so

like

how do you do that exactly?

jk: i bring you food

like little snacks all the time

i thought you liked it

we are just like ants

🐜❤️🐜

us

worker ant x queen ant

y/n: ok

yeah

yeah

ok

so cute kook soososo cute!!!

jk: omh wait isn’t it lowkey inscest cuz the queen gives birth to the workers

y/n: ok stop taking

jk: maybe i’m like a worker that already existed

like you didn’t give birth to me

i was just there

y/n: please stop talking.

—

was a scrap that’s why joons is so bad I CANT WRITE HIM AS A FREAK NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY IM SORRY 😭😭

i love writing hobi can you tell part 1229302 or smth

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi @stellamalonesolaria @joonsprettygf

[ushijimaschubbs]

"just please understand...."

an: im sorry if this sucks I have exams and i really wanted to finish this request. this is not proofread btw. based on this request. have fun reading anon and thank you so much for this adorable request <33

synopsis: reader has a bad luck in love and their bestfriend kuroo picks up the pieced after heartbreak while he's in love with them.

1.2k words

pairings: timeskip bestfriend!kuroo tetsurou × reader

warnings: breakup, cheating, reader has bad luck in love leading to multiple heartbreaks, slight angst

the sunlight felt too bright this morning as you tried to shield yourself from it by covering your face with the nearest pillow. the dreadful memories from last night started clouding your mind when you remembered how you had to break up with your ex boyfriend because you found him flirting with multiple girls online. tears rolled down your the bridge of your nose as you tried to find your phone on the table, only to see 20 missed calls from kuroo. you sprang up from your bed and called him immediately knowing he is going to be pissed off because you probably drunk dialled him last night after the brutal breakup.

"oh wow look who has decided to wake up. it's 1pm", kuroo spat on the other line.

"I'm really sorry, kuroo. i was having a really awful night okay? please don't shout at me I'm still so hungover", you cried, falling back into the mattress.

"i don't remember the last time you had a good night actually, princess. i was really worried for you and I couldn't even check up on you because I'm still on this business trip", he sounded annoyed and pissed off and this really wasn't the first time. you didn't blame him since you did find yourself in horrible situations ever so often in your love life. cupid did not do anything for you because if it had, you wouldn't end up with rat looking, bad kissers every time you had a liking for someone. you were simply questioning your taste at this point and kuroo was clearly growing tired of watching you struggle, and worse cry yourself to sleep ever so often.

what you didn't know was how much kuroo longed for you but he was too scared to admit it in the fear of rejection and the loss of his bestfriend, he didn't want to give up something so precious only for it to break into pieces in future, if it ever does that is.

"i promise i won't jump into anything too hastily after this okay? and when are you returning? i really miss your stupid face, jackass", you replied, trying to lighten the mood because you knew kuroo was furious right now.

"im returning in a week and i swear I will keep my eyes on you at all times because I really don't like seeing you like this, y/n. you're my bestfriend and you deserve so much better please",he sighed and proceeded to hang up as his coworker urged him to the meeting room.

after this call, you swore to yourself you won't go out with any guy anymore no matter what happened but guess what, it hadn't even been two weeks before you were going insane over your new neighbour. his blonde locks and hazel eyes had you on a chokehold and you rambled on about it to kuroo who knew this was not going to end well. you went on two dates with this neighbour guy and gushed about him to your bestfriend, describing where he took you, how he treated you, how he paid for your dates blah blah.

"that's very bare minimum, y/n. I've done way more for you and you know that", kuroo blurted out in the middle of your rambling.

"yeah but he's not you, stupid. he's sweet, and kind and he has such beautiful hands you have no idea", starry eyed you went to bed peacefully that night not knowing what was going to take place the next day.

it was your third date now with this neighbour boy and he took you to a classy family restaurant, pulled your chair to seat you, ordered your favourite food and ran circles on your calves with his toes as he looked into your eyes. that was until a girl who had just entered the restaurant stormed towards your table and started screaming on top of her voice about how this guy was her boyfriend, and they had been going out for months now. you couldn't register what she was saying, the noise of shouting and him explaining himself drowned as you lost balance and fell on the chair. your head hurt and you knew you had to leave immediately. you ran towards the road, looking down in shame and got into the nearest cab. the entire night you kept calling kuroo, hoping to confide in him only to remember that he was supposed to be on a date too leading you to cry yourself to sleep that night.

you woke up to several knocks on your door and someone shouting your name outside loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. you made your way towards the door and found kuroo sweating profusely and out of breath.

"I'm so sorry y/n I'm really sorry I passed out last night after the date and my phone was on silent are you fine is everything okay??"

"yeah don't worry my bad luck in love just doesn't seem to leave", you sighed, plopping on the cream coloured sofa in your living room.

"what happened this time?"

"he was already in a relationship"

kuroo was usually always annoyed everytime you would tell him about a crush, or a bad date or even a relationship but this time he looked enraged.

"you can't be that blind right y/n"

"huh what do you mean"

"i mean we've been friends for almost idk our entire life and we've spent literally every fucking day together. there hasn't been a single day I have wanted to wake up and the only reason why I do anyways is you. you are my first thought of the day and every other thought after that and I simply cannot go on even a day more without saying this to you but I've always and always loved you y/n and I'm tired of other undeserving men breaking your heart everytime and I will not stand it anymore. my heart beats for you everyday so please..." he breathes hard "just please understand." he was now standing right over you, his eyes not leaving your face for even a second as you tried to process each of his words.

"kuroo what how why have you never told me this", you cried wondering how oblivious you were to all his feelings for so long.

"because I don't want to lose you. i never ever want to have to go through the loss of you as my bestfriend and i cannot risk that but I also can't see your heart break everytime because of some jerk and if that means risking our friendship I don't mind because I want you to be mine only", he urged as he sat next to you, taking your hand in his and caressing your fingers with his thumb.

"you'll never lose me kuroo, I promise you that. trust me. I'm sorry for being so unaware of what you felt for me. why don't we start by going on a date first? is that fine?", you said while closing the distance between you two by pressing your lips on his, your noses touching slightly. he was gentle and soft and you could taste the shared breath, feel the thud of your combined heartbeat as he held you close, making sure he's never letting you go again.

[hotmandrivefast]

i likee your fanarts A LOTT like they're so cutee and makes happy to see themm i always get excited when you post a new one and i really wanted to ask you what are your top 5 favourite lestappen fanfics.

have a good dayy!!

It’s actually super hard to choose 5 so I’ll do non-AU (lestappen r both drivers) longfics to narrow it down. These are fics that I finished reading and was like WOW. What the actual fuck.

Fics that I lie awake thinking about at night.

this is our place, we make the rules by PrincessElectra

An injury fic done so well. Max trying his best to be there for Charles. A misunderstanding in the middle. Also the one sided Piarles is always delicious I love when Charles gets some extra loving. Adds to the unattainability.

Frechheit by @additiva

Charles in this is so fhfhfjfjf. Just the right amount of manipulative and ruthless. And Max is like how tf do I wrangle this menace. Their whole journey beginning to end was just beautiful.

In dream by @alphatinies

This fic was everything. The getting to know each other. The romance. The plot twist. The fallout. I wish I could wipe my memory so I can live through the experience of reading this again.

Objects in mirror by @drivestraight

Yea I’ve read this so many times I have lines memorized. The characterizations the plot the emotions. Pure cinema. Incredible. I’ll never get over this fic.

If I had words by @formula-fun

Abo Charles miscarriage fic. When they let themselves, for a moment, dream about everything they could have. And to have it cruelly taken away. Oh my god guys. It hurts so good.

Well if you squint at these fics what you get in common is that 1. Charles is having a bad time 2. Max is having a bad because Charles is having a bad time

I’m a huge sucker for this. As you can tell. So if anyone knows similar fics like this SEND ME PLEASE.

Also while you’re here just read everything by all of these authors. These writers are just insanely good.

[icanseethefuture333]

PAC: What are your siren powers & qualities? 🧜🏽‍♀️🐚🌊

In these piles there is adult themes so just be wary of some of the content 🤍 Please leave a tip if you can! 😇 $$$

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Lullaby by GWSN

New You by Zolita

How U Want It by Rochelle Jordan

Six of Swords "Knowledge", The Devil, & Nine of Cups "Joy"

What's interesting Pile 1, is that a song by Zolita came on, and she actually practices witchcraft. So you could be into the occult and practice magick or that is the vibes that you give off. You could visit people in their dreams or you have the power to have influence on people's dream, which is insane! You could have Pisce and air placements (Gemini, Libra, & Aquarius). You have a strong hold of people's subconscious and linger in people's minds. I'm getting like restless nights, tired energy, and I feel people stay up because they have racing thoughts about you. You could have a very soft and gentle appearance as well. You give off an air of mystery and it's like "wow I didn't know this girl could have so much power me???". You could have ex partners who wish they could have you back as well. Your eyes are very magnetizing. I feel that you should get into doing glamour magick, mirror magick, and chants or written spells. I feel that you get downloads from the universe, so you have a divine higher power. Also you could speak your desires out into the world and they manifest instantly. I'm getting like a lot of Mercury and Neptune energy. Very imaginative, alluring, and perceptive. (Clarified by Twof Cups "Love") You could also use psychology for seduction (I'm thinking of Robert Greene's books like "48 Laws of Powers" or "The Art of Seduction", so maybe you have read those or should lol). People just can't help but fall for you.

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

Mrs. Variety by Leon Thomas, Ft. Tayla Parx

Goodies by Ciara, Ft. Petey Pablo

She Bad by Cardi B, Ft. YG

Strength, Two of Wands "exploration", & Three of Wands "domination"

Okay so this pile is definitely my fire sign (heavy on Aries but also Leo & Sagittarius) pile or my Virgos (Tayla Parx said in the song "Have you ever fucked wit a virgo?"). You guys have a bad bitch mentality and refuse to settle for anything less. Cardi says in the song "I'm a boss in a skirt, I'm a dog, I'm a flirt". So I feel that you like to be a tease when you flirt with people and then leave them looking stupid. You just like to have fun and you know you're not obligated to do anything you don't want to. This could put people in their feelings because it's like "we were just flirting and then they don't even wanna go out with me?". Which honestly, period - you owe nothing to nobody. I'm getting like this coquette energy, where you like to be in male spaces, and you're better at it than them. Whether that's sports, politics, debates, etc. You have a strong dark feminine, masculine energy and it's incredible. I heard "spicy ���🌶" so you could even be a hot head and people find that so sexy 😂. You also like to wear red and black. You mainly like to dress in sports wear or a t-shirt and jeans but when you go out you show tf out. "Mrs. Variety" you know how to glam up for the occasion and it puts people in a trance. Some people could even think like "wow I didn't know they had a body like that" or "damn they look fine as hell when they get all fancy". So maybe when you go out to parties, dinners, or dates you could put on a nice suit or dress with heels. (Clarified by Seven of Wands "bravery") You guys are very brave and courageous. That intimidates people but you have a very high standards and you value yourself so keep working towards your goals!

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Who Hurt You? by Daniel Caesar

Haunting by Halsey

Long Nights by 6lack

The Hermit, The Empress, & The Moon

Oh myyyyy 🤭😏 so this could be only for some of the people in this pile but y'all could be ladies/people of the night 😂? I'm getting that you could be an... "accountant" (sw) and if you're not, you would be so successful at it (if you're a minor then this message ain't for y'all, so dont be thinking about being like Kat from Euphoria 💀). For some reason you come off as very sad though or you look like you're sad to some people. You could have dark circles or your eyes tend to look watery/puffy. Some of you could deal with depression as well (I'm sorry baby I know that can be hard to deal with ❤️‍🩹). You could be unhappy with the current position you are in your life and are wishing for change. You could be working at a "dead end job" and you could be saving money, hoping that you can eventually quit one day. You have people who wish they could "save" you from what you're going through in life. I feel like your power could honestly playing into this "damsel in distress" role to get what you want. This pile reminds of Meg fron Hercules when she said "I'm a damsel *grunts*, I'm in distress, I can handle it, have a nice day~". Like even if you're fine and nothing is wrong, they feel they could give you better than what you currently have or got going on. People just have such a strong desire to help you. You are also very beautiful and you could be an introvert perhaps? There could be Cancer, Libra, & earth sign (Heavy Taurus & Capricorn but also Virgo) placements in your birth chart. You like to be alone or do activities that don't require being in social settings. For example, if other people wanted to go to the club, you would rather be at home, work, library, museum, cafe, etc. You don't like to do anything that requires you to force yourself to get out of bed and interact with bed you probably never gonna see again (valid btw 💀). You prefer to be around close friends, family, coworkers, etc. As I was saying earlier though, you have a lot of secret admirers, pile 3 👀. You could look really pretty in the moonlight as well or people want you sexually at night time 😳. You probably the type of person who gets a lot of booty calls or texts and you're like "why me???". It's just you have a connection to the darker side of people and yourself. You provide this healing energy to people and you exude such divine feminine energy, that's very rare to experience in this lifetime. You could be nurturing to your loved ones as well and for people who aren't close to you, they wish they could receive that love as well. You could be creative too and like to either dance, paint, read, write, etc. (Clarified by Ace of Earth (Pentacles).) Now did I not just mention "accountants"?! Lmao 😭 For the people who are working and are in need of some money. You're gonna get a promotion or a new job soon. You have a very seductive body language and aura, I feel like you could use that for some cash ifykwm 👀👀👀 I'm not saying flirt in the workplace but ya know, don't be afraid to wear your hair a certain way, sway your hips, bite your lip, etc 😌 your clientele would much appreciate the "fanservice" 💅🏽

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

No Scrubs by TLC

Enough For Love by Kelela

Balenciaga by Princess Nokia (This song came out in 2019 💀)

Three of Cups "abundance", Four of Cups "Comfort", & Seven of Swords "Deception"

This is very interesting and unique. So pile 4, I feel like you don't care for trends but you know how dress down. The song keeps talking about "drip" so you're styling, you naturally have this swag that nobody else. Whether it's your clothes, the way your carry yourself, or your aura - you're just cool as fuck. You know how to budget and you understand that you don't gotta spend a lot of money to look fabulous but when you do, everything just fits you just right. People could think you're (or you are) very wealthy because of this. I'm reminded of that video Cardi B posted when she said some of her pieces were like a hundreds of dollars and ome thing would be like 20-30$ ("Learn how to budget hoe!" Lol). People could even feel like shocked or duped by that too like "oh you're not a millionaire but have this" or "that outfit is that cheap? It looks so good". A lot of people have this misconcept that being rich means you know how to dress and trust me... I've seen a lot of celebrities wear terrible outfits. When it comes to fashion, you are a expert honey. I'm thinking of that song by Migos: "My bitch is bad and boujee". In your dating life, you refuse to date people who don't have a plan, or don't wish to take care of you financially. For example, if you're on a date, and you pay for one date, you'd be okay, but if the other person continously just mooches of you, you'd cut them off with the quickness. So you only date people who are "high value" and can add substance to your life. (Clarified by Six of Swords "Success") You are private when it comes your money, goals, and achievements. I feel that you are like a "humble bragger". You like to work in silence snd let the results show for yourself. If not, you should start learning how to do that. It can protect you from the evil eye 🧿!

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

Honey by Riri

Slow Down by Normani & Calvin Harris

You Got Me by The Roots, Ft. Erykah Badu

Seven of Cups "illusion", The Lovers, & Ace of Air (swords)

This pile's energy is reminding me of Sade. I'm getting a very classy, refined, and sensual vibe to you pile 5. Sade could be one of your favorite artists as well or you like to listen to smooth jazz, r&b, soft rock, or any song that's typically more mellow. You could be old fashioned as well and desire a more traditional relationship. You either are in a relationship right now or you dream of finding that special someone and being with them for the rest of your life. I'm hearing the lyrics "will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful" by Lana Del Rey and some of the people that chose this pile could be older in age or they are more mature than others their age. You have a deep soul and it entraps people, an enigma. You could like to take it slow when it comes to love and that makes the people you date drawn to you even more. I'm being reminded of Mariah Carey when she says in her song: "I can't be elusive with you, honey". You are able to communicate clearly to others what your needs are and if they aren't being met, you have no issue with leaving because you know that you deserve better - Whether at work or in your relationships. In your past, you could have experienced a lot of disappointments due to your expectations not being met. I'm also seeing that people have fantasies about being in a relationship with you and see you as a good potential for marriage. (Clarified by The High Priestess) You attract others to you when focusing on your spiritual path. I feel that you are most abundant when you are connected to your higher self and follow what makes you happy. People feel drawn to you when you are the best version of yourself.

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Dreamcatcher by Metro Boomin Ft. Swae Lee

Te Amo by Rihanna

Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

The Chariot, Ace of Water, & Death

I feel that this is my queer pile. Some of you might be sapphic/attracted to those of the same sex or you attract others from the same sex. You could be flirtatious when you have the courage (maybe even liquid courage?). You could be very persuasive and charming, it's a turn on for people 😂. If you're not lgbtq+, then I feel like you give very "sus" compliments to others. For example, you ever see girls in another girls' comment sections? You would think that they're gay by the shit they be saying 😭. I feel like you make friends or attract lovers easily because you have such a likeable personality. You're funny, friendly, and supportive so you make people feel good inside. Although, I feel that you guys have trouble with your relationships. When you like someone you get all these butterflies and stutters when you are around someone you really like. So even though you like them you're afraid to tell them how you feel. To make sure that person doesn't know you just act nonchalant and pretend that you're online looking to have fun and nothing serious. "I'm here for a good time not a long time" basically. I'm reminded of Danny from Grease, he was totally smitten for Sandy but he didn't want to let go of his tough guy image for her. Where instead of you having a tough guy image, you use your sense of humor for protection out of your own of fear of rejection or heartbreak. I feel that growing up your interests, sexuality, or personality was different from the rest so it could have made you feel lonely or isolated as well. You wanted to find a place where you belong and so you had to find your own group of people that you can connect with and feel close to. (Clarified by The Sun) I'm seeing partying, dancing, one night stands, make outs, the "Suck and Blow" game, etc. You guys are just wild, pile 6 😂! You change people's lives forever after interacting with you. I'm getting like "drunk girl in the bathroom that's my bestie for the night". You become a "core memory" to people because of your uplifting personality and silly jokes. If people feel down in their lives or really depressed. People suddenly remember the things that you did for them and it cheers them up. You are a beam of light for others in their darkest hours!

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

LEFT RIGHT by XG

From Time by Drake

N.E.R.D - Kites

Daughter of Fire, Nine of Cups "Joy", & Two of Cups "Love"

Pile 7, I feel the way you dress has pieces of your culture involved. Your style could be very bohemian as well. I'm seeing tribal tattoos, beads, neck pieces, sarongs, and feathers. You could be very passionate when it comes to what you believe in. You also seem to be proud of your heritage. For some people in this pile, you could be artists. You could be dancers, actors, in theater, do pottery, work with clay, or paint. I see that you are very talented with your hands. Maybe some of you even make jewelry or know how to sew clothes. Your skin could glow in the sun or it's just naturally radiant and beautiful. You could also be kind of cheeky and vivacious 🤭. People find thatt so adorable and endearing. You could like to make people blush or find people's reactions funny when you mess with them. I'm reminded of Joy from Red Velvet. She has this like "I'm hot and I know it" mindset or is well known for being "cutie-sexy" and it's refreshing. You could also be a really good kisser 😚 or you have these plump lips that people wish they could get a kiss from 💋 I'm also seeing licking or biting so you could do this with your lips or to others 🥵 This pile reminds me of the love interests in the movies and it seems that everyone just really likes you, pile 7. You're the Mary Jane to people's Peter Parker/Spiderman. (Clarified by Three of Cups "Abundance") What did I just say?! You have so many people who want to offer you a love proposal or ask you out on a date. I feel that you guys are aware of manifestation and have a positive self concept. You could practice law of the assumption and just affirm/assume that you're highly favored and desired. If you need a confirmation that what you're doing is working - It is, stand in your power ✨️

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

Niki - Spell

Stray Kids - Deep End by Felix

Shilpa - Selfish

The Fool, Mother of Air, & Three of Pentacles ("Work")

I feel that in your relationships you have been selfless and devoted. You express your love with acts of service and quality time. Expressions of emotional intimacy could make you uncomfortably possibly (reflect as to why!). You are logical and intelligent. You may enjoy reading and writing. (Clarified by Daughter of Air) Growing up your parents could have been strict and were very traditional. You could have done well academically in classes (the girl in this card has a sword, you could be "cut throat" with your words, some of you could been in debate club?). Your voice commands just attention. I feel as you got older and gained more of your independence. You began to rebel from your parents rules and expectations, discovering who you truly are without other people's influence. NSFW warning but I believe people would love to be degraded by you 👁👁? Some of you could be dominant sexually or be a dominatrix. While also balancing it with this maternal energy? ("Mommy? Sorry- Mommy? Sorry-"). Or your style has elements of fetishwear (harnesses, leather, boots, etc). I feel that people who are involved with you romantically/sexually just become like your litte worker bees while you're the queen. I can also see that you're noncommittal as of right now or just exploring your options. This upsets people greatly because you have a great amount of secret admirers who would love to be your partner. You could get late night calls or text messages from exes and you're just like so over it (which is understandable 😂). Your cold and dismissive attitude just draws people toward you. I'm reminded of Jennie from Blackpink or Heather from Total Drama. They both have dark hair, cat like facial features, and their expressions are just effortlessly cool and confident (you could possibly have these features also). You fit into that "pretty mean girl" trope.

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Qveen Herby - BDE

Retronaut - Talk

Lauren Jauregui - Em(oceans)

Eight of Cups ("Despair"), Strength, & The Emperor

I feel the people in this pile has luscious hair and something about it could be shiny or radiant (some of you have wavy hair or the texture is soft or silky). Your features could look ethereal or possibly be androgynous. You have a balance of feminine and masculine energy. Your nose, cheekbones, and jawline structure could be prominent and defined. I feel that the people in this pile are like a Phoenix, they have suffered in silence, and had to rise from the ashes. You don't let people see you suffer and so you let yourself heal in silence. When people hear your story and learn about what you've been through, they gain so much admiration for you. They'd never suspect to such things happen and therefore it's like they gain respect, while others think you had it easy. People wonder how you got all this success but what they don't understand is that you had to literally come from the mud in order to become this pearl that washed onto shore. You did your part and fought for your power, which I commend you so much for pile 9. You are like this beautiful warrior, you carry so much strength and bravery inside of you. What's also attractive about you is how you set boundaries and change the topic when someone becomes too invasive with your questions. You are stoic and a mountain that can't be moved with just meer charm, if a lover wanted to impress you, they would have to do more than that. (Clarified by Ace of Swords) I feel that the people in this pile could be sapiosexuals. Someone who is passionate about their talents, work, loved ones, etc, is just so sexy to you. Your ideal match would be someone who could let you take the lead in the relationship (pick the restaurants, what location to travel to, etc) but in the bedroom then its their turn 👀.

[footiehoefics]

Change of heart

Sikeee, I'm posting it right now hehe. @trentskinator98 my love has been waiting for this one ever since I made the polls HAHAHA so I'm so excited for you to read it and for everyone else as well! I had this idea on my notes for so long so writing it was so fun! I hope you guys enjoy it and if you have any ideas you are welcome to message me or send me an ask :)! TW: none, Angst/Fluff, 3.5k words

gif: @pernillecfcw

Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you were satisfied with how your look had turned out. Light yellow dress, white high heels, hair down, bronzed natural makeup and a little bit of jewelry. You turned around to see your boyfriend struggling with his tie, again. 

“Why are this things so fucking hard to put on?” he mumbled to himself

“Mase, baby, there will come a day where I won’t be able to do your tie so you really have to learn.” you said smiling, walking towards him to help him. 

“Stop, don't say that, I am not thinking about your death right when we are about to go to a wedding.” he said, giving up with the black tie. 

“Oh my God,” you laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that weirdo, I just mean maybe one day I won’t be with you getting ready.” you said, grabbing the tie getting closer to him. 

Your face was almost touching his, your arms wrapped around his shoulder trying to fix his tie situation with the stubborn collar he had. “You look beautiful by the way.” Mason said, making you blush. “You still blush at my compliments?” he asked you, smiling. “Of course I do.” you said now looking at him and giving him a peck. “And you…” you said, giving him another kiss, “look  very handsome. You need to wear a suit more.” He smiled at you, kissing you again. He brushed his tongue over your bottom lip asking for access but you knew if it got heated you wouldn't leave in 5 minutes. “Mmm Mase no” you mumbled in between his kisses. “Why not?” “Because we have to leave now, the wedding is in 30 minutes.” You detach yourself from him, smirking at yourself at how horny your boyfriend was. 

You grabbed your purse and walked down stairs to head out. You were excited about the wedding. One of yours and Mason’s friend was getting married to his highschool sweetheart who you both knew very well. Marc, your friend, actually introduced you both 6 months ago. It had been 4 months of heaven with Mason. It had its bumps since his football career was not great towards the end of the season, but you tried to be there for him while giving him his space and he appreciated it more than anything. 

Pulling up to the venue, you saw Ben, Kai and Sophia waiting for you two at the entrance. 

“Wooww you look insane.” you said to Sophia while getting out of the car. “Thank you.” Ben replied, smiling. “Not you Ben.” You told him, rolling your eyes playfully at him. 

Both of you greeted everyone with hugs and made your way into the wedding ceremony. Hand in hand, you both were in awe of the venue and the decoration. It looked beautiful. It was an outdoor ceremony during the afternoon with a perfect view of the sunset. The party however, would be inside one of the ballrooms of the very fancy hotel  which you were now dying to see. 

“This is so beautiful, wow.” you said in awe of everything. One of the servers came towards all of you and offered drinks which you gladly accepted. 

“Kai, we really need to start looking for wedding venues.” Sophia said, admiring the whole place. You laughed at her comment and Kai just rolled his eyes. 

“When are you planning on doing the wedding?” Mason asked, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Next summer, after the season is done-” Kai tried saying when Sophia interrupted him “Which means I will do all the wedding preparations while he is playing football every 3 days.” Both you and Mason laughed at her comment. 

“Soph, are you going to be like a bridezilla?” Mason asked giggling. “Oh stop, I hope for my sake not.” Kai replied 

You were engrossed in their conversation and the jokes when you noticed someone entering the venue. 

You couldn’t miss him, and it was not a surprise to you he was here. After all, he and Marc were friends. Joe, your ex boyfriend started greeting people once he entered. You gulped nervously. Having your boyfriend and your ex boyfriend at the same wedding was not ideal.

Joe and you had broken up almost a year and half ago. It wasn’t a quick relationship, you were with him for 4 years. He had proposed to you even. He had invited his whole family, leaving your family completely out of it, and proposed on a lake. When he proposed you were shocked. You were not expecting it at all, due to the fact that he had cheated on you a month prior. He did not know you knew he had cheated, so the audacity of him to propose after cheating made your blood boil. You found out about his infidelity 3 days before he proposed. You of course rejected his proposal, leaving him in a state of shock. 

You loved him, of course you did. However, there was never a point in your relationship where you thought you would marry him. He was not the dream man you always thought you’d end up with. To be completely honest, you had stayed with him for so long because it felt easy. It scared you leaving him after building a life with him and finding someone new, even though you knew you needed someone else. 

When you found out about him cheating, it hurt, but not nearly as much as you had thought. Maybe because you could finally use that as an excuse to leave him? 

When he started getting on one knee, you immediately knew what he was doing. You wanted to grab his arms and pull him up and avoid the embarrassment. It pissed you off. He took that away from you. Your marriage proposal was supposed to be one of the best moments of your life, and he took away that moment from you. 

Long story short, you said no and explained why. He turned white as a ghost and didn't even try to deny it. You spent almost 30 minutes figuring out what to do with his family who were in the cabin waiting to surprise you both. You decided to go to a hotel and stay away from him. To this day you don't know what he said to his family. The next day you went to the cabin, grabbed your things and left him. 

Mason knew all of this. He knew he had proposed, how he cheated on you and everything shitty he did to you during your relationship. One of the first dates with Mason was a golf date and dinner at a pub. You stayed in that pub until 3 am talking about everything. You opened up so much to him. Ever since that day you both knew you were it, although you had never said it to each other. 

As soon as you saw him, you got visibly nervous. You didn't even want to say hi to him. You also didn't want Mason to talk to him. Joe loved to rile people up, you knew if Joe said anything to Mason, he would get pissed and a scene would happen. You didn't want the wedding to become a fighting pit. Today was not about you, Joe or Mason. It was about the love of your friends.

Mason snapped you out of your thoughts by handing you another drink. “You okay?” he asked, grabbing your hand and rubbing it with his thumb. “Yea I’m fine…should we go sit down?” you asked him, smiling. He nodded his head, but he knew you like the back of his hand, and he could tell something was bothering you. 

—-

The ceremony was beautiful. Vows always made you tear up, resulting in Mason making fun of you and Sophia lending you powder to fix your make up. 

The bride and the groom made their exit and you were all guided to the party. Outside looked like a painting with the sunset in the background, but inside it looked like you were in a Palace. It was beautiful, there was a big bar, a dance floor, the buffet filled with delicious food and all the tables beautifully decorated with flowers. 

You were seated between Mason and Sophia. Your table was great, it was a mix of Mason’s friends and yours. You were having a really lovely night you had forgotten Joe was there. 

That was until everyone got up to dance.  All of you had a bit to drink so everyone at that point was tipsy including you both. You left the dance floor to go to the bar and grab more drinks for everyone. 

You were about to thank the waiter when you felt a cold hand on your shoulder making you turn around. 

“Hello stranger.” Joe said, smirking. You saw his piercing blue eyes stare at you, you didn’t know what to say. 

“Long time no see right?” He asked kind of hugging you sideways. You didn’t want to be rude so just smiled and lightly hugged him back.

“Yea long time no see.” you took a sip of your drink, not sure what else to say. I mean, there was nothing to say really. 

“Who are you here with?” Joe asked you sitting down on the stool in front of him 

“Oh I’m with my boyfriend.” you replied

“That’s right you’re dating Mason right? The football guy? Yea, Marc told me about that.” he said, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Um yea, we’ve been dating for a little while…” you wanted to get out of that conversation. You had no idea how to hold the conversation, and you knew it looked weird. You also didn’t want Mason getting a bad impression of what was happening. 

You started looking everywhere for him, your eyes darting from left to right, trying to avoid Joe’s gaze. 

“You looking for him already? I bored you that quickly?” he asked, laughing. 

“No…I just um…need to give him his drink-” you stuttered but got cut off by someone hugging you from behind.

“Ayoooo guys I’m so happy you’re here!” It was Marc. He looked wasted. You could smell the tequila, and you could see a red stain of wine already on his shirt. 

“I’m so glad you guys are talking! Do we get some shots?” Marc asked, almost yelling in your ear. 

“Oh no thank-” you were about to say. 

“Yes please!” Joe replied laughing at Marc’s state. “What do we want? Tequila? Jagger? Vodka? The lady chooses” 

“Um, just tequila, with lime please.” You replied. You were feeling uncomfortable being there. Marc was now in between you two with one arm over your shoulder and one over his shoulder. 

You took your shot, instantly regretting it. It was really strong. You were about to say goodbye, but you felt a pair of warm hands grab your waist. You turned around, and were relieved to see your boyfriend. 

“Oh hey. I was about to go and give you your drink.” you said smiling trying to get as far away as you could form Joe so they didn’t start talking. You handed Mason his drink and saw he was looking directly at Joe. 

“Well, well Mason!” Joe said enthusiastically. “We finally meet, I’m Joe, your girl’s ex boyfriend.” Joe said, smirking at him. Mason shook his hand with a blank expression on his face. You wanted to go hide in the corner from the awkward tension you felt. 

“Heyyy what about another shot now with Mase!” Marc exclaimed. “Marc, I think you had too many shots already.” Mason said with a tone of concern as he watched his friend stumble towards the bar table. 

“Oh c’mon it’s his wedding, let him enjoy himself.” Joe said, patting Marc in the back. “I would’ve gotten this drunk if we had gotten married.” Joe laughed along with Marc. You were now red in the face. This was exactly what you wanted to avoid. You just laughed awkwardly, trying to not make it awkward but Mason was stone cold serious. 

“Too bad you cheated on her and were a piece of shit…” Mason said, almost mumbling to himself taking a sip of his drink but all of you could hear him clearly. 

Joe stood up from the bar stool, “What did you say?” he said, visibly angry at Mason. 

“I said you are a piece of sh-” “Okay, okay, how about we go back to the table and leave Marc and Joe?” you said getting in between him and Mason. 

“Yea guys c’mon we are having a good ti-” Marc fell off the stool trying to break the situation. “Oh shit.” you tried getting him up, but Joe got a hold of him and took him outside to his now wife. 

Once you saw he was with his wife, you turned around and Mason was not there anymore. You started walking back to the table, and saw he was walking in the same direction as you. 

“Mason!” you tried calling him over the loud music. He didn’t stop at the table, instead he went straight towards the bathrooms. You followed him there and called him out again. “Hey don’t ignore me please” you said grabbing his arm making him stop. 

“What do you want?” he had never used that cold tone with you and you didn’t like it. 

“Babe, I’m sorry about that.” you didn't know how to start, but sorry seems good enough. 

He didn’t answer you. “I mean, what was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to cause a scene-” you tried saying. 

“Oh yea so me shutting up was the solution.” He put his hand in his pocket, and replied with an annoyed expression. 

“What? No. I just…” his response kind of shocked you. You both had never argued before and never had this big of problems. “Mase I just didn’t want this to turn into something more okay? We are at a wedding, Jesus.” 

“Yea whatever, you can go and hang out with him more if you want.” With that he turned around and entered the men’s bathroom leaving you speechless. 

Did you fuck up? Maybe. But the situation made you uncomfortable and you were terrible at handling those types of situations. His comment and reaction upset you, but he had the right to be mad. 

—-

You got back to the table, and it was empty. Everyone was on the dance floor  having a great time. The whole night had been magical and amazing. That was until 20 minutes ago when Joe had approached you. 

“Your boyfriend went missing again?” you heard someone say behind you. You turned your head around to see Joe smirking. 

“Don’t Joe, please.” you said, rolling your eyes and turning your head away from him. He grabbed the chair next to you and sat down. If Mason saw you again with him after what happened he would get more pissed. 

As soon as he sat down, you stood up and started walking away. “Oh c’mon, is your boyfriend gonna have a melt down if he sees you with me?” Joe said, making you stop in your tracks. 

“Listen to me, I don’t want to talk to you okay? I don’t want you to fuck this up for me! I respect him enough to walk away from a bad situation, unlike you with me who had no respect for me whatsoever!” you said angrily. 

Joe was taken back by your response. “You really need to get over it my God…” 

“Joe, I did, I probably wouldn't be dating anyone otherwise you idiot.” you said calming down a bit more. “I got over the fact you cheated on me and had the fucking audacity to propose to me after the fact, you took that away from me, a moment that was supposed to be the best moment ever, you took it away. So please, fuck off, leave me alone, and let me enjoy the night with my boyfriend okay?” Joe looked at you not knowing what to say, so he just left. 

—-

After an hour or so sitting at the empty table, everyone was instructed to sit down and listen to the speeches. Mason came to sit down by your side, this time not holding your hand or placing his hand on your thigh. It was weird being that close to him and not touching him. You knew he was still mad so you gave him space. 

“You okay babe?” you heard Sophia whisper in your ear. 

“Yea I’m good don’t worry.” you sheepishly smiled at her. She knew there was something going on, but didn’t want to ask you right at that moment. Instead she just leaned her head on your shoulder to offer comfort and you leaned your head on hers. 

—-

The speeches were done, and you cried again. Sophia gave you her powder to touch up your make up for the second time that night. 

The DJ started playing slower songs for the bride and groom to have their dance and moment. After two songs, the DJ encouraged everyone to join them and dance.

Mason got up from his chair, you assumed he would go to the bar with Chilly, but instead he held out his hand for you. You were confused as to what he wanted to do. 

“Dance?” he asked, slightly smiling. You smiled back at him, grabbed his hand and let him lead you to the dance floor. 

Once you reached the dance floor, he grabbed you by the waist with both hands and you placed both your arms around his shoulder, hiding your face on the crook of his neck. 

Your heart was beating really fast. Should you apologize again or should you let the romantic moment carry on?

“You know I never gave much thought to marriage until I met you?” Mason said, making you look at his brown eyes. 

“Really?” you asked.

“Mhm, I never ever met a girl that made me think “I would want to marry her one day.” 

“So…you want to marry me?” you asked, gently rubbing his neck with your hands. 

“I do, do you?” he asked.

“Of course I do.” you said, whispering it. 

“I always wanted to get married Mase, but I was never with like my dream man.” you said again. 

“Oh so I’m your dream man?” Mason asked, smiling to himself and making you giggle. 

“Yes Mason Mount, you are the man of my dreams.” you said giggling. 

You both stared into each other with a lot of love. 

“You know I love YOU right? No one else, no one else comes close.” you spoke up, resting your forehead on his. 

“And I love you…” he kissed you lovingly. You could hear the soft music playing and the outside noise but in that moment it was you and him. 

“I’m sorry about earlier, I really am. I didn’t know how to-” 

“Shh, stop. I know you are sorry and I know it was that dickhead that wanted to provoke me.” he said, making you laugh. 

“He can be very annoying.” “Pff, he’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met and I met him for like 5 seconds.” Both you and Mason laughed at his comment. 

You both kept dancing to the song the DJ kept playing, in the same position.

—- 

 Your feet started to hurt, so you decided to go outside and get a bit of rest and fresh air. You sat down near a balcony with the amazing view of the city. 

Mason had given you his jacket since your dress was not made for cold nights. You were sitting on his lap, one arm around your waist and the other intertwined with your on top of your thigh.

“You know… I got addicted to you so easily.” he said, making you look at him. He was still staring at the amazing view in front of him. “I care about you more than you think, I think about you all the time and I appreciate you being by my side this summer when things got hard. I know I can be a pain in the ass when I’m moody but you didn’t care.” he said giggling. Everything he had said, no man or boy had ever said to you in your life. You felt tears building up in your eyes. 

“Mase…” you tilted your head to one side looking at him lovingly, and he hugged you. He knew you were overwhelmed by his love, but you would have it any other way. 

“Weddings make you so soppy.” you said after hugging him tightly. 

“Get used to it because at our wedding, God…” he laughed. 

“I love you so much, more than anything.” you said, cupping his face with your hands. 

“I love you baby.” He kissed you and you kissed him back. 

You still couldn't believe you were dating the man of your dreams and you were going to marry him one day. After Joe, you didn't even know if it was possible. But Mason changed your perspective completely.

No word could describe what you two felt for one another.  

[foursaints]

barty has a certified Evan Kink but what else specifically 👀👀👀

grim made a post here that i agree with & im going to reiterate some of it! but generally my barty is pretty disgusting so i’m putting this under a cut lmao…. Beware..... i know i just said i want my asks to be less horny but im not helping. this is so explicit seriously if you are one of my cool mutuals look away (fern do NOT read this i will be so mad)

prefacing this by saying 😭😭 these are NOT my personal preferences i’m simply huffing the fumes like the oracle at Delphi and divining into his mind. also with evan he gets way more switchy but these are just how i see his usual preferences in general 

24/7 power play (as grim said) and free use. barty gets off on blurring the lines between kink and reality and having complete control over his partner sexually but he does it in a sort of irreverent, half-joking-but-not-really-joking way. he’ll casually make his partner lick his boot and he’ll laugh and pat them on the head and get up to go make dinner. bend them over while they’re doing dishes because He Can Have Them Any Time & not let them finish because it’s his decision. that sort of thing

(but u have to put it in context like outside the bedroom that man is SO whipped. he’s calling evan his brainless fuckdoll but he’s also walking 4 miles in the snow to get him the specific type of croissant he wants)

to me there’s a major incongruity between barty’s fantasies and his actual preferences. he jerks off to the idea of keeping his partner collared & silent & pretty & obedient and dolled up and sat quietly on a pillow all day waiting to please him. but he would hate that irl and in reality he LOVES evan’s bitching and bossing him around. its so much more fun

FAKE KIDNAPPING (as grim said). SO REAL! HE IS THE KIDNAPPER! IN A SKI MASK! 

in general my barty is concerningly into cnc but only if its super negotiated and desired. hes checking in beforehand and throughout 800x but like? with evan? they are going the whole nine yards. he wants to pin him down and Take Him while he screams and struggles and cries and fails to fight him off 

while barty is cooing and salivating over him and petting his hair and licking his tears and mockingly telling him how sweet & weak he is and how perfectly evan takes him. btw

overstimulation. both giving and receiving. 

he’ll make his partner get off like eight times daily because he finds overstim entertaining. like he’s not even getting anything out of it at this point. just whenever he’s bored he’ll sit his partner on his knee for the third time that day and play with them until they cry while he scrolls his phone 

this next one shows up mostly in his dirty talk and his habit of manhandling but like? objectification? but in the weird possessive sense of “wow you are so perfect and pretty it’s like you’re a cute little toy that exists Just For Me” <- that type of vibe. he chooses to believe you were Invented to Be Fucked By Him

and his dirty talk is so meeeaaaan like he could be doing the most depraved thing ever and speaking in a casual tone of voice like he's making small talk. he's very condescending and asks a lot of demeaning questions and will laugh. he likes to see evan get angry and embarrassed and make him repeat filthy stuff

not really a kink bc i don’t think it’s something he seeks out or even thinks about much. but when he discovers evan rosier is a virgin he 100% gets SOOO weird and insane about it. bro is FROTHING 

but aside from all of that. he loves giving himself up to evan completely and service top barty is Real. that’s an entirely different rodeo with its own set of… fucking… rodeo clowns? lassos? 20-page long notarized consent forms? this is an untenable metaphor. but anyway i also like to believe that rosekiller has very loving vanilla dynamic-less sex too because im a romantic like that. and also because they are soulmates

he’s SO awful but. you know. i love him anyway

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Dofus Novel 4, The Thirsty Beheader

I apologize for my absence. Translating this novel has burned me out from the fandom in a pretty major way, and I also got into a different fandom in the meantime and am, like, three 4k word chapters deep into a longfic for said new fandom. Besides that, I had a depressive episode and went insane for a while. Basically, I've been a bit busy.

At the same time I release this post, I have uploaded the new, updated versions of both translations (since this liveblog is mostly a reason for me to reread and fix stuff) to MEGA and VK, so I recommend you download the new versions!

I will mostly be copying the text directly, to bypass tumblr's image restriction, but some screenshots will be provided. For example:

If pride is a sin, then the typesetting and cleaning I went through with this book will have me go to hell after I die. (I don't think I'm a master, but I did a pretty good job, ok?)

A cart had just entered the District of the Lost Steps. It stopped in front of the store, as two Srams* got out.

I love the internal consistency of the street being named here. Thank you, author of this book, for caring.

“Are you sure about this,” asked the little guy, “Is this really the right place?” “Yeah,” replied the tall one, “There aren't thirty-six Shushu* houses in the neighborhood.”

LMAO this is something Kerubim is actually known for, huh?

At the time that this book takes place in, joris can't read very well. Cute...

Also, hehe... I am pretty proud of the way this part of the book was cleaned + the font + the layers and colors and opacity I applied to the text, to make it fit in with the paper.

^^^ This is me btw, during this entire post. ^^^

The entirety of the epilogue and prologue are typed on top of cleaned backgrounds sourced from the scan. The rest of the book is typed in front of a digital background. This artistic choice was made because....... You can't set different pages to be different colors in word. You have to overlay some image or a textbox, if you want a page to be a different color.

Anyway — I had a lot of fun searching for the fonts from this book! (and far less fun searching for appropriate fonts for the Russian translation since none of the fonts this book uses have cyrilic versions...)

The fonts this book uses are: Dimbo, Chelsea Market, and Aleo. Google them for all your Dofus Aux Tresors de Kerubim related needs.

The fonts I chose to use in the russian translation are: Brydan Write, Correction Brush, Curinn, and Itim. I just had to make do with what I had, ok?

“My Papycha said it's urgent!” exclaimed Joris, “He could be in danger. Maybe he's being attacked by the Thirsty!” Even Pupuce looked worried. Simone reread the message, thinking out loud: “The Huffing Bow Wow tavern is in the Pandawa district... There's plenty of bamboo milk there. Maybe the neighborhood is overrun by the Thirsters?” “And soon, the whole city will be under attack!” concluded Joris.

Nobody knows how to escalate a situation better than a 7yo with anxiety. God bless <3

The Ecaflip goes full "war machine" mode: he cuts and slices through the living dead for the entire night, and when the golden disk of the sun finally rises over the horizon, the scenery is carpeted with the Thirsty. The region is saved. Kerubim becomes a legend. To thank him, the local lord offers him the... “Hey... Joris? Are you listening?” asked Simone. She began shaking the boy, who, abruptly snapping out of his reverie, mumbled: “Huh? What?”

Joris is so normal. So sane.

“Bye-bye,” added Bowiknif. But Luis slammed the door in their faces, roaring: “You're not going anywhere!” “Oh yeah?” hissed Bakstab, “Is that so?” “Would you like us to chop up your friends with a Brakmarian steel sword of Chouque?” questioned the other, “Or with Samuel J. Axe?” Luis muttered what sounded like a string of expletives, before reluctantly opening the door to the two robbers, who bolted out without further ado.

I'm LITERALLY fucking insane about this.

“I'm sorry,” said Luis, “I tried to hold them back, but...” “We know, we saw everything,” the girl cut him off, “You did your best, Luis.”

Actually deranging. Also explains why Luis did fuckall about Sipho, Harebourg, and Ush — there's just not much he can actually do.

She spotted a Dragoturkey standing near a trough. In two strides, she reached the animal, untied it, and climbed onto its back like an experienced Dragogirl*. “Let’s go!” she said to the boy.

This once again raises a some questions about Simone's past — when did she learn how to ride dragoturkeys? Is it the same reason why she knows how to fight, at least a little?

Then again, maybe she's just being an Osamodas here.

I love, love, love the Simone&Joris content in this book. Their bond is so important to me... She's the aunt who stepped up.

This art is so nice...

They had run like mad through half the city, arrived at the wrong address, turned back just as a thunderstorm broke out, wandered around in the rain in the Pandawa district, and FINALLY arrived at the Huffing Bow Wow Tavern, a large, long building with a thatched roof.

They're so fucking stupid. I love them.

“Ah, there you are!” called out Kerubim, “I almost thought you’d make me wait some more!”

I wish english also had the phrase "I almost thought you'd be late" as a cunty response when someone's an hour or three late to an event. I don't think the english translation I made conveys the sheer frustration.

Kerubim raised an eyebrow — a perfect copy of the circumflex accent:

I struggled with this part a lot in russian sjfkgdfg. It made me nerd out a little bit too.

I didn't have a lot of comments here, but eh. It was nice to finally get this over with dfjgkdsfg.