#like. this is truly a long ass post

[koobiie]

made a comic! what happens when 2 guys accidentally adopt a demonic cat

read the rest under the cut!

[dipperscavern]

hiiii! the anon who requested the Mike x fem!reader fic here. please don't apologise, I can totally understand😭😭 the show's too addictive, I binged watched the first few seasons really quick too, you can take your time🫶🏾

HII IM SO SORRY FHIS TOOK SO LONG GRR. honestly, i really struggled w this 😭 i didn’t make it very long or defined (i wanted this to set the tone of their relationship), and i left it pretty open ended (on purpose) so it could be built off of in other continuations as maybe a clientsdaughter!reader 🙂‍↕️thank u sm for the ask & i hope u enjoy!! (this is ass)

mike ross x fem!clientsdaughter!reader

mike had learned a countless amount of knowledge since joining the firm. how to talk to people, how to negotiate, how to work, how to win. along with this, he also learned the workings of the office itself — more so the people that were in it.

kyle talks to his girlfriends throughout the day. it’s often mike can catch him leaned back in his chair, not-so-discreetly checking his phone, eyebrows raising as he clicks on the selfie he was sent.

louis keeps his favorite breakfast bars in the top cabinet. rachel chews her lip when she’s thinking. the fax machine only listens to donna — don’t mention if harvey’s having a bad hair day, he knows.

oh. and don’t sleep with clients.

not getting involved with clients was a general rule of thumb. according to harvey, the less emotion involved, the better. even so, harvey himself was guilty of sleeping with a few clients — after business was done, of course. but that was different. harvey was harvey, and mike was a first year associate, already tap dancing on thin ice. he could absolutely not afford to break any rules — no matter how unspoken they might be.

truly, it was all going fine. until he met you.

you & your father are in the racehorse industry. famous for the record breaking times your horses submit (& the world-class conditions they’re always in), thousands come to the races to bet on them. your family has been breeding, training, and racing horses for decades, and your father loves his job. there’s only one issue.

he’s currently being sued for “wrongful termination” by an ex employee. the employee mistreated multiple horses during his time working for you & your father. once you both found out, he was gone.

now, 4 months later, when your most famous horse “knights honor” has died, the employee is claiming the horse was milkshaked before his races (he was not).

“Milkshaked? What the hell is that?”

harvey’s voice carried through his office as jessica presented the case to him & mike. your father was a friend to her, and it was important that harvey got this done. mike remembers the article he read years ago on racehorses when knights honor won his first championship.

“In the context of horse racing and illegal substances, a milkshake is any compound or combination of compounds administered to a horse, pre-race, for the purpose of causing.. metabolic alkalosis of the blood and extracellular fluid of that horse. Although, a previous widely used method to ensure placing times, milkshakes are a prohibited practice on race day in all U.S. jurisdictions.”

harvey and jessica exchange looks between themselves & mike. they're about to raise questions when donna's voice crackles through harvey's phone.

"Translation: Its when the horses are given a “milkshake” of different drugs before a race. It can kill fatigue and improve their endurance."

all heads look down to the phone, then at donna's desk. donna's already looking their way, of course, and she swallows under their field of vision. she shrugs.

"What? I can't.. watch tv?"

she abruptly puts the phone down, turning her chair around to type on her computer. jessica clears her throat.

"Tom is an old friend. He's genuine."

harvey interrupts. "You need me to make it go away.”

“No. This could tarnish his entire reputation… his life’s work. I need you to kill this thing in its tracks. Get it done.”

with that, jessica turns & exists the office. harvey sighs, skimming over the case file jessica dropped on his desk. he looks at mike.

“Find the daughter. Find out everything — previous arrests, divorces, a stolen tangerine from publix- I wanna know about it.”

mike nods, offering a-

“Yes, captain,”

(which makes harvey give him an exasperated look) before he retreats back to his cubicle, moving to start his manhunt. donna winks as he passes her desk.

꧁——————————————————꧂

“No, he doesn’t.”

you can sense the presence of the associate approaching behind you. you quickly thank the man working the stand as he hands you your pretzel, and you turn to face harvey’s right-hand. mike ross.

“I- You don’t even know what I was about to say.”

“Yes, I do.”

he’s cute. pretty blue eyes, a photographic memory, and a boyish charm that you can’t say you’re immune to.

“You were about to ask if he’s had any previous arrests. No, never.”

mike shakes his head. “Sorcery. Speeding tickets?”

you turn to look at him with an exasperated look. “No, officer.” he smiles.

“How did you know? That I’d ask.”

you shrug. “Ancient blood magic.”

a few moments of silence pass, and he’s silently moving his head in tune with his thoughts — like he actually believes you. you decide on mercy.

“It’s the first question lawyers always ask.”

“Ah. Been through this before?”

you shrug.

“Do you always stalk your clients?”

he doesn’t miss a beat. “Only the pretty ones- a hobby of mine.”

you hum, breaking off a piece of your pretzel and handing it to him. he sighs, leaning back.

“Oh you sweet, sweet angel.”

you both continue your walk to pearson/hardman, wanting to get there early to prep for the deposition today. mike breaks the silence once he’s done chewing.

“Do you always feed your lawyers?”

“Only the cute ones,” you break off another piece, handing it to him. “Its a hobby of mine.”

꧁——————————————————꧂

the elevator rings, signifying the end to your journey. mike is in disbelief as you step out of the elevator — mind trying to wrap around your last statement.

“What- are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

mike moves to catch up with you. “Okay, multimillion-dollar horse racing company, and you just.. have no security cameras? Zero?”

you turn to face him, giving him a defiant look that makes his heart flutter.

“I don’t see any cameras around here.”

as you approach the glass-doored conference room, mike opens the door for you.

“Touché.”

you shoot him a look across your shoulder before you move to greet your father, already waiting. mike pauses outside, staring, as you hug your father, no doubt offering some sort of reassurance.

“No.”

mikes head snaps toward the voice, harvey’s un-foreseen presence making him jump a little. mike looks around a bit.

“I.. didn’t even-“

harvey points a finger at mike, then at you, then slowly wags it back and forth for dramatics. mike sighs, looking around and putting his hands in his pockets, waiting for his scolding to be done.

“Harvey-“

“Uh uh.”

“Harvey.”

harvey continues his finger wag. “Micheal.”

“Harvey.”

harvey walks backwards towards the door, opening it with his free hand. “Don’t.. do it.”

mike rolls his eyes, following harvey into the room.

okay. don’t get with the funniest, most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. got it. easy.

easy. right?

the look you give him as he sits down proves him otherwise.

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[definitelynotshouting]

“The universe sings,” Grian said.

He sounds vaguely distant- like he’s speaking from hundreds of blocks away rather than right next to Mumbo.

He turns on his bed, slow halting movements, to face him.

“Did you know?”

Mumbo can only stare.

“…Sings?” He asks. He shifts on his chair.

Grian seems to want to nod, but aborts the motion halfway, and hums instead.

“Yeah. The code. It sings, if you listen close enough,” Grian mumbles.

Mumbo opens his mouth, then closes it again.

Grian exhales a long breath, and his eyes drift close.

“Can you hear it?”

Mumbo watches the way Grian’s chest rises and falls, shallowly, slowly.

He closes his eyes, and strains to hear.

He hears- Tango out in another room of the house, pacing circles around the kitchen. Mumbo can tell it’s Tango by the shuffle in his walk.

He can hear birds outside, twittering. Wind rustling through branches. An animal- a pig, maybe, trotting along some grass.

It’s quite calming really- but he doesn’t hear singing. At least, he doesn’t think he does?

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to Grian staring right at him.

Mumbo exhales in one sharp breath- he didn’t realise he’d stopped breathing- and meets Grian’s gaze.

“Did you mean like, actual singing or- or was that metaphorical? Because I can’t hear anything other than trees, mate,” he says, only half-joking.

Grian huffs a small laugh, and shakes his head.

“Nah, it’s not really singing-singing. It’s music, though. You’ve definitely heard some of it- discs. That’s the easiest way to hear it. But that’s- so few of what’s out there. There’s more music, if you know how to listen for it,” he hums. His eyes close again, and he leans more into the mattress.

Mumbo pauses, and thinks on that for a moment. Music discs, huh? He supposes it seems plausible, that there’d be more music out there.

But then why has he never heard it? Mumbo doesn’t ever recall hearing ‘the code sing’. If it’s tied into music discs, then is it naturally generated? Is hearing it a ‘watcher thing’?

Mumbo glances down at his hands, traces lines of dirt under his fingernails.

He nods, though Grian can’t see it anyway. He makes some vague ‘see you later’ comment he can’t bother to think about, and carefully gets to his feet.

At the doorframe, he peers back.

Grian lies there, breathing steadily.

Mumbo turns and leaves, closing the door behind him.

////

headcanon that the minecraft soundtrack can be heard in the code, but only if you're 'in harmony' with it. cue other headcanon of watchers being very aware of the code

HEY ANON. ANON. I ADORE THIS HOLY SHIT I FUCKING LOVE THIS HEADCANON???? The idea that the universe is constantly singing to itself, and you can hear that through the Greater Code if you really carefully listen, is something i lowkey want to canonize SO BADLY holy shit. And this is such a lovely snippet too, im always such a sucker for deeply layered conversations like this.... i adore how youve given so much depth to the sentence "the universe sings" and the implications of how and why Grian is hearing it so much right now. [THROWS UP BLOOD] IM OBSESSED.......

Also this Mumbo dialogue especially is on point youve done such a good job of capturing his little speech patterns :] STUNNING JOB ANON IM SO FLATTERED U WROTE THIS!!!!! I really think i might canonize this concept just for how absolutely amazing it is, im utterly obsessed with it

[totheblood]

i like highly encourage you to log off and message a friend or a therapist if ur in my anon writing a novel length hate message because you have to scroll past an smau with ur hands down ur pants when ur reading ellie williams smut … get serious help

[stergeon]

say it

Byleth makes Edelgard say swear words.

(~350 words; too stupid to post on ao3)

“‘Shit.’”

“Grotesque.”

“Give it a try.”

“… Shit.”

“Very good. ‘Ass.’”

“That one is easier. I’ve said it before.”

“Then why don’t you say it now?”

“I… er…”

“If it’s so easy, then do it.”

“… Ass.”

“Excellent.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“How about this one? ‘Cunt.’”

“Wh—I actually, um, don’t know what that means.”

“You don’t know ‘cunt’?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Byleth, it’s simply not in my lexicon.”

“It means va—”

“All right, I understand. The gesture was absolutely unnecessary. I’m astounded at how many words there seem to be for the same thing.”

“If you think that’s bad, you won’t believe how many there are for pe—”

“Well, this has been a fun exercise and hopefully a source of great amusement to you, but I think I’m finished.”

“Wait, wait.”

“No.”

“One more, one more.”

“Mm, no. I don’t think so.”

“Please?”

“… You know it’s not fair of you to give me those eyes.”

“Is that a yes?”

“All right. All right. One more.”

“Yesssss. ‘Fuck.’”

“Byleth!”

“What?! You said one more, and that’s the one to say.”

“I’m—I am not—”

“Please?”

“You can’t pull the same maneuver twice in a minute and expect to succeed. That’s poor strategy.”

“Is it working?”

“… Regrettably, it is.”

“Then it seems like a good strategy to me. Just say it. ‘Fuck.’ It’s easy.”

“It most certainly is not!”

“Try it. Say ‘fuck.’”

“… Fuck.”

“Oh, that’s rich. That’s very good.”

“Are you quite satisfied?”

“Nearly. Now use it in a sentence.”

“Byleth.”

“I’ll give you one. It’ll be easy.”

“I did not—and do not—agree to this!”

“Just repeat after me.”

“No!”

“Say, ‘Byleth, I want you to fuck me.’”

“… Oh.”

“Go on, El. You can do it.”

“… Byleth, I…”

“Keep going.”

“Byleth, I-I want you to… f-fuck me.”

“Good girl. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Less than I—ah—thought it would be.”

“Mm. Well, you’ve certainly earned a reward, haven’t you?”

“Yes, my teacher. Fuck…”

“Aren’t you a fast learner? I’m impressed.”

“If you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, I’m going to start swearing in earnest.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Your Majesty.”

[great-tusk]

I’ve been thinking of f/oing her for a while… hmmm.

[chibi-scone]

It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

[heartshapedgreen]

cannot take most intersex people's discordance with trans people not mentioning intersexuality seriously considering how so much of it is hinged on arguments around transandrophobia + simultaneously denying tme/tma terminology. (the cognitive dissonance is unrealllll)

like whatever line of thought people follow when they homogenize all trans women as white, that's... most intersex blogs on here from what i've seen. like either they're white or nonblack who talk like That. so much so that one of the arguments i saw on an intersex blog was basically "forcing intersex people to adopt tme/tma language is strange because if i should add 'tme' to my bio, that means poc also have to mention they're 'nonblack'" and i was sitting there with tme + nonblack in my bio like.... Yea. maybe you should. (this is specifically important to me because i come from an ethnic group with a sizable black community who have influenced our heritage heavily & i have friends who are black and like... i hate the thing racialized people do on the internet where they go 'i'm brown' meanwhile they grew up cared for by a brown maid and they're the daughter of an oil tycoon. but also like... every ethnic group has nonblack & black members lol? so that's a normal thing to mention.)

there is a lot to be said re: tma/tme terminolgoy, like how transmisogyny functions differently in other societies and how that can influences the usage (or lack thereof) of this language. but like. this is the webbedsite where racialized trans women are purged incessantly & it's just useless to create discussions around that because it will never lead anywhere productive other than white people being voyeuristic.

something that always strikes me as odd is when trans people are posited as the enemy when it's not mentioned that intersex people are forcibly medicalized whenever the topic of hrt comes around is that...... cis people will also look at my intersex body and think i've been damaged by hrt, the same way they talk about exterminating perisex trans people, when i literally Just Woke Up Like This™ & i feel like there is a lot of projection for the hurt that causes onto trans people being happy about hrt changing their bodies. (the implication is always that trans and intersex people experiences are always mutually exclusive as if intersex people don't seek out hrt or are happy about the weird fucked up ways our hormones work on their own. idk about the rest of ya'll but i feel like a mad scientist and the experimented on all at once. it's fun!)

like i think it's important for trans folx to understand when making jokes about "cis people receiving hrt so easily" that. they actually do not. that's the entire point. that's the entire reason why we have to fight for hrt to be normalized. the ones who are receiving it "easily" are forced into it because their body is "damaged". but it's also odd to me that intersex arguments against forced medicalization hinge on fearmongering over hrt the same way perisex cis do & they don't seem to consider that... hrt is ALSO not accessible to us if we want to pursue it out of our own will. it's about autonomy & personhood but that's lost in all these weird transmisogynistic bs. so it's unsurprising to me that none of these discussions are contextualized in an intersectional lens, people turn away their eyes from the fact black transfems bear the brunt of interphobia/transmisogynoir (yes even perisex black transfems!!!!!!) and i have to see stupid shit like "if we're forced to use tme/tma terminology to mark our position in the gender hierarchy then doesn't that mean we should adopt nonblack more widely to show our racial privilege??? fucked up and weird if true!! i'm so smart."

[seventh-district]

so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

[wanderthroughtheruins]

i have so many thoughts about sasha i don't think i could even begin to put it into words but god i just want to see her become a better person if there is a third season pls pls pls

[coollyinterferes]

"Back by unpopular demand:"

"Us!"

[tumbler-dot-com-user]

I hate the dsmp so much <- can't handle the emotions it causes her

[theotherrichardpapen]

nigel & alex - to be haunted by your love

henri nouwen // like minds (2006) // death - melanie martinez // pope alexander - crywank // her mother's kiss - eugene carriere // sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you - catarine hancock // the song of achilles - madeline miller // achilles lamenting the death of patroclus - gavin hamilton // lee martens

[cartoon-skeleton]

while drafting my comic teachers wanted nelly's feelings for cosmo to be more explicit in one direction (either romantic or platonic) and to that i say, simply, it doesnt really matter to the story HOW they love each other, just that they DO. but SECONDLY, it's simply too predictable if an angel-coded alien randomly falls out of the sky and the protagonist immediately falls in love with him. obviously, if it were GOING to happen at all, it would be one thousand times better if the angel-coded alien fell out of the sky and then became smitten with a loser who has the nervous sweats so bad that he walks around half naked on a daily basis and has zero swag. why? um because he was the only person on the entire planet that showed him kindness. DUH!!!!!!!! nervvy nelly is a loser but he is empathetic and has the unrelenting urge to be useful and helpful. cosmo is a chronic loner who has traveled around the universe solo because of his disdain for the lack of kindness he has consistently observed in others. DUH again. even though i cut that tidbit of cosmo lore out of the final cut so how would anyone know that except for me. oopsy. WELL YOU CAN INFER IT! put on your thinking cap

[flamingo-strikes]

mmm really interesting to me to see the bloggers who say/rb sentiments such as these. you care about YOUR culture, history, and language being respected but don’t care to do the same, I suppose.

to clarify i think the “naan bread” and “chai tea” conversations are insufferable amongst the south asian diaspora, and so clearly a shallow, minuscule issue to be outraged over in comparison to the multitude of issues in that region, a la misogyny, nationalism, colorism, islamophobia, anti-Hindu sentiments, etc.

but the dismissive, anglo-centric tone of this post makes me wanna start barking “you mean NAAN” at people