#like. of course i dont mean to kick you if you are actively trying to change this mindset. but if youre living that way

[rivalerer]

Dating Doreen Green (Squirrel Girl) p1.

Disclaimer: this is based on marvel rival’s iteration of her & derives from my own personal interpretations of her + what i gather from her canon stories n interactions (And also my information on squirrels). I pull very little from other sources but encourage you sharing feedback or new information through my ask box

(you are also free to just ask or request things about other characters)

CW: Nutty Behavior, Not Beta Read, Nothin’ Else

—

- Dating Doreen comes with a lot of perks and little issues here n there- the regular presence of squirrels & other woodland critters; the quirky chatter with animals & you about her college life; near constant movement or activities to keep her squirrely nature entertained- but an undeniable quality of dating her is coming to terms with the intense amounts of fur n hair everywhere. While this initially seems like it’d be an issue, you take note that Doreen rarely appears completely covered in fur- and once you both get comfortable enough with one another you’ll begin to understand why-

- It’s Allogrooming; the behavior of grooming another creatures pelt in an effort to bond. It’s something Doreen does nightly & it’s something you will unarguably have occur. She will of course stop if you dont want to be “groomed”- but if you let her (and often tippy-toe) continue you’ll find yourself cuddling up with her frequently while she picks you clean of squirrel fur and brushes down your clothes. If you let her she’ll also be running her fingers through your hair- gently untangling any knots or snags; if you dont have any hair or have very little- you note that she’s still keen on keeping every part of you clean and well cared for, scalp massages are a MUST in her mind if this is the case. It’s all her own very special way of showing love for you. And you’re free to return the favor! You’re quick to notice that she’s very fond of having her tail or hair gently brushed- it puts her in such a lovey dovey mood every time (and as an added bonus, it really keeps the shedding down)

- And when Doreen finds herself in a lovey dovey mood- you really have a lot on your plate. Because Doreen is HUGE on cuddling and activities/time shared together. She’s a very clever woman & she will be KEEN on keeping you close so she can curl up with you or somehow convince you to look at her most recent coding misadventures (whether you understand them or not) AND SHE’LL SOMEHOW MAKE YOU THINK IT WAS YOUR IDEA?? And in a few hours later you’ll be 2 & 1/2 movies in on some niche series from 20 years ago and you’ll comprehend that you have no idea what’s going on or why you’re watching this AND YOU’LL REALIZE YOU LIKE IT?? Really and truly- Doreen must have some secret super power on getting you to kick back with her because the 2 of you will be doing SO MUCH together when she’s feeling lovesick over you

- It literally doesn’t even matter what the 2 of you are doing- she has a knack for turning 1-2 hour visits into entire slumber parties. It wont just be for her interests though- Doreen will be ON TOP of remembering your favorite activities just to have things to lure you into hangin out with her more. It’s not a malicious thing by any means- Shes just a real socialite and you’re undeniably her favorite company to have over (well- you & tippy-toe). Still- she’s more than willing to give you your alone time as you need it (she does afterall have plenty of other stuff to do)

- And if you find yourself trying to seek her company while she’s busy- god- good luck- there’s so many things she could be up to. It’ll take awhile before you’re able to really pin point where Doreen is quickly if she’s not bugging you. She has such a tendency to hyperfixate on her tasks- and because of that she can dissapear for hours without meaning to. You‘ve found her hidden away coding or doodling as many times as you’ve found her out in the middle of the woods meddling with some outlandish animal issue. And every time you’ve found her- she’s of course greeting you with hugs and kisses, but it’s still such a task to get a hold of her when she’s off doing Doreen-things. You’ve got to love this if you’re dating her I assume- but it’s definitely a little issue here and there.

- But let’s back track a little- what does time with Doreen look like more normally? Aside from doing activities- your squirrely companion has a lot of nice little quirks to one on one time. Most notable is probably the mix of physical affection & chattering. Doreen has a bit of a magic to her in the sense that she’s somehow always able to fill the silence of a hang out- whether it’s with getting you to talk by egging you on about your passions or explaining a year long woodlands creature drama she’s been following with Tippy-Toe; Doreen Green will have SOMEONE talking during your time together. If you prefer quiet- she’ll be trying her damndest to find some peace and quiet within herself for you- but know that unless you keep her busy it’ll be really obvious for anyone in the room that she wants to YAP. (Though music or her napping is a nice middle ground for her)

- otherwise- the thing youll probably take most notice of is Doreen’s fondness towards physical touch & affection. Tippy-Toe being on her shoulder so often (along with lots of other critters) has made her a sensory seeking cuddle monster. She will be doing SO MUCH to try and cuddle up with you while you both relax. She’s especially fond of finding herself a place to curl up in your side (even if you’re smaller); she’s sort of a master at it. Her squirrel senses give her a good understanding of where her weight lays when she’s curling up with you- so it’s uncommon she’ll ever be laid over you in a way thats too much for you. But aside from the cuddles themselves- she is a touchy girl. Playing with your hands, tracing physical quirks like freckles or scars, leaving random kisses or pokes here and there, squeezing you wherever she can find enough to grab- literally anything is something for her.

- And it’s all cause Doreen is making it a goal early on to learn your body head to toe. Learning what touches you enjoy, what you don’t- what things she can do to make you twitch or playfully irritate you- it’s an intimate but big thing for her. As a girl who is a squirrel- she’s always got a sharp eye & a sense to notice all the little things around her. Learning you isn’t any different from learning about the enemies she fights- it’s no different from learning to live- it’s not necessarily a desire in her mind so much as it is a natural need or process. You’re just that important to her- once the 2 of you are together she wants to integrate you into her life & her learning; you’re a part of what she considers necessary. You’re so much of what she will begin to love.

When all of the silliness and puns fall to the wayside, it’s really clear that Doreen Green cares very deeply for you. She may try to downplay the seriousness of it from time- but you will undeniably become a part of her heart just as Tippy-Toe & Monkey Joe did; if not somehow more.

[an0ldworld]

i hear you requested requests! ive got one!!

hobie x masc reader that's gwens older brother (ik its not canon, but the canon can fuck itself) (sorry miggy)

i dont really have anything in mind for reader's personality or whatever (so thats up to you!) but id like if reader liked to draw (thus ended up drawing hobie and got caught by him hahaha cliches i love them)

where hobie meets gwens older brother (you !)

hobie x masc!reader

this actually gave me hella ideas, im gonna link it to what happened in the movie (sorry it took a while, life fucked me)

didn’t specify if it was platonic or romantic (WHICH IS FINE ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥) so i’ve just done general shit for both lmao

warnings: none

pairing: hobie brown x masc!reader

requests: open, i cant let the demons catch me

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

when you first meet hobie you’re so very thankful to him for taking care of your little sister

if gwen managed to hide her being ghost-spider from your guys’ dad, then she likely hid it from you, too

but obviously, your dads gonna have to tell you why gwen didn’t come home one day

you’re crushed, naturally. likely furious at your own dad for literally firing a warning shot at her

might have ran away yourself, maybe hobie comes to your rescue too

or maybe you two meet while hobie’s dropping off his homemade gizmo for gwen, and you’re so unbelievably thankful for him and his generosity when you meet him

of course you will be, he took your sister in while you couldn’t do anything to help

hobie’s probably side-eyeing yours and gwens dad but is happy to get along with you if you’re gwens bother

he cant stay for long at that moment in time, got a multiverse to save and all that

but the brief interaction opens doors to many opportunities in the future

hobie gets to hear about the brief reunion between you and gwen from her, after she went back to her own dimension before it was show time

he becomes very intrigued by you

next time you two meet is likely after they save the multiverse (WHICH THEY WILL WITH ZERO CASUALTIES UNLESS ITS MIGUEL.)

BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING NOW

miguel definitely doesn’t approve of hobie using his watch to travel dimensions just to see you or gwen, still does anyway if he doesn’t just build his own

probably came to see gwen, pick her up to bring him to his own dimension, whatever

sees you instead, target acquired

hobie’s heard plenty about you from gwen, likes to think you aren’t strangers so is super friendly, overly even

catches you in your room, drawing in a well loved sketchbook

definitely does that thing where he just fucking appears behind you, he’s that quiet when walking despite the accessories

he’s looking over your shoulder while you draw silently, you might be too distracted to notice or you’re immediately started by him

smug asf when you finally catch on, is especially entertained if he’s caught you drawing him, god forbid

wouldn’t be surprised though, he likes to make people stare so is honestly complimented if you’ve been trying to draw him since first seeing him

doesn’t just snatch ur sketchbook and start looking through it though, unlike someone

as an artist, he gets it

you’re probably super protective over ur sketchbook actually because of gwen, smh

will probably banter a little bit about that, tease something about gwen that you’d both be victim to, like her tendency to borrow things without permission

find common ground yknow

“ain’t it a pain when she [gwen activities]” but you’re not being mean ur bonding it’s fine, we don’t slander gwen (i do however have some strong words)

starts hanging out with you on the odd chances gwen isn’t home, just casually in your room at first

starts off talking about your guys’ interests, seeing if you have things in common

probably listening to music together

the closer you get, he starts to actually travel dimensions just to see you

casually waves to gwen before ducking into your room

is happy to just kick back there, but is also happy to go out and do things at that point

the more you hang out, the more your dad and gwen begin to tease you- which is nothing in comparison to the shit hobie faces

gwen easily told everyone else about you two hanging out, he never hears the end of it now regardless of dimension

hobie starts using the front door instead of just appearing in your room “son, your boyfriend’s here” ur devastated why would ur dad say that

THENN hobie starts to come to your dimension for you more than gwen, has probably already invited you back to his once or twice but now he’s a lot more frequent with invites, wants you to consider his place a second home (in case you ever wanna run from home, cough)

say something does blossom between you two, obviously you don’t label it cause hobie’s not about that

you get promoted from “gwens brother” to “hobie’s boyfriend” at some point even if you don’t use labels- that’s only if ur not like too close to the rest of the friend group, but i imagine you’ve gotta be

hobie probably talks more about being spider-man relatively early on considering the topic, but since you know his secret identity it doesn’t really matter to him

the closer you are, the more into his stories he is

is ready to reenact the whole thing for you now so it’s like you were there

draw each other, i dare u

make playlists for each other, perhaps ?

there’s a lot of gwen snitching to each of you

and then you two do with that information together what you will later

like if you’re just being gay for each other it’s wild how fast gwen goes to the other and is like “guess what he said” she is not slick about it

hobie can be found at ur place more often then not, your dads a little more iffy about you going to a different dimension

still, very grateful to be welcome in your home but hobie definitely prefers to kick back at his

hobie loves to bother gwen about your whereabouts, if you are a thing or not “where’s your brother at?” he’s pretending to be cool about it

does your dad approve ? who cares

but nah he’s way more open minded after the incident, thinks hobie is a peace of work and probably his own son too if you’ve got a similar personality, in that case you’re perfect for each other

if not he’s just happy you’re happy, that’s all he cares about

obviously gwen supports it, likes to claim she introduced you guys and you owe your relationship to her when she tries to win in an argument/conversation

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

[omgwhatchloe]

but what if i ask really nicely for more into on brain injury sean au

then i suppose…IF YOU INSIST…i might be compelled…

-first things first in this au sean has to change where EXACTLY he was walking on the ground on rhodes to alter where the bullet goes. one tiny half-step to the right when he turns, along with the shooter aiming just that tiny bit higher, and he gets shot through the skull, but survives.

now im not going to go into a lot of detail about where the bullet is in the brain and why he is reacting like this etc etc because even after research i dont know the ins and outs of it, so we’ll focus a lot more on his behaviour.

-so after the position of the shot is altered, they all expect him to be dead. miraculously, he is still alive on the floor of rhodes, but heavily unconscious. he is unconscious for two and a half weeks after they try their best to heal him. poor leopold strauss was NOT about to do any brain surgery and the bullet had to be left there. when he actually woke up, everyone was relieved and crowding him. however, he didnt say a word, he barely looked at them. he just laid where he was, staring, until they started to help him up and try to speak to him. within a few days, he had healed to his limit, meaning he could walk and start to move very uncoordinated.

-sean mumbles a lot unintelligibly to no one in particular. he doesnt speak intelligibly or respond when he’s spoken too, he doesnt even know someone is speaking to him. he opens his mouth when they try to feed him but wont make a single effort to feed himself as if he doesnt know how too. sometimes he can refuse to chew if he doesnt like the texture or taste, which is very often. he chews and swallows to fast, and it causes worry he will choke himself. he can technically walk but will not unless someone is actively moving him from one spot to another, so he has no urges to take care of himself and would spend all his time staring and mumbling if alone. he does sometimes reach his arms up to push at the people around him (not hard at all) but this pretty much means nothing, it doesnt mean he wants them to leave or is showing any sort of affection. when he gets angry suddenly, which can be often, he yells and hits (not very well) the people around him trying to calm him down. he can be calmed by having his face stroked, interestingly he doesnt care who does it. he cries too, when his mouth is being burnt by the food or he is just uncomfortable, like after an accident in which no one has tried to help him. when he cries, it can either be just completely silent tears like he doesnt know hes crying, or it can be accompanied by wailing.

-he also clenches his fists, pushes things in front of him around, pulls his own or others hair, kicks the dirt under him and chews when theres nothing in his mouth absentmindedly.

-of course, the gang are not caregivers. theyre murderers, outlaws or just very uneducated people. they try their best to take care of him for the first week after he wakes up, but sean has multiple accidents because no one tries to help him with ‘using the bathroom’ (well not really using a bathroom because theyre in the woods but yk what i mean). they have things they need to do and a lot of their plates are full even without sean, no one particularly WANTS to care for him, as awful as it may seem. they become easily frustrated at the complete lack of cooperation from him, even if it isnt his fault. they also become angry at each other around the whole situation.

-when sean gets upset or ignored in someone elses care, they rush to blame and berate each other about it. but the big elephant in the room is they do not want to be his caregiver, no one does. karen tried her best, but got quickly frustrated and angry at him, causing him to cry when yelled at (this was because it was a loud noise close to him, absolutely nothing to do with what she was saying). lenny got angry at her, and took over, only for find himself incredibly tired and frustrated within a few hours. despite being his partners/ex-partners, they feel helpless with him. they dont know why hes upset or what he wants most of the time, which means they cant help him. after a few days of lenny trying to help sean, prevent accidents, watch over him, cleaning him up, he actually walked out of camp. he spent a few days alone in the quiet because he genuinely couldn’t stand the camp or caring for sean anymore.

-he loved sean so much, but he couldnt stand the mumbling and the whining and the constant taps and hits. it was overwhelming, and he realised he couldnt do it. he couldn’t be his caregiver, he knew karen couldnt, he knew the women of the camp couldnt because they simply didnt know how too and got frustrated too. the men of the camp would never…so who? thats when he started to realise, along with everyone else, sean could not stay with them like this.

-so where would he go? that was the conversation, with many different arguments. only a few argued they could keep sean, but they were easily persuaded to change their minds. there was unfair suggestions, like dumping him on the side of the road. that was from micah, and he had the support of john, uncle and bill. eventually they decided he needed to be taken to an asylum or left at a state hospital, as sending him somewhere he’d be actually looked after was expensive and not guaranteed. micah had also suggested putting him down but was thankfully denied.

-lenny debating leaving with sean, becoming his caregiver, and he was really going to do it, until he actually cared for sean again for the next day and could barely leave him for a second. when he finally napped, lenny realised he himself had barely eaten, he hadnt touched his books, done his hair, or had any time for himself since he’d disappeared. god he wanted to care for sean but he just couldnt. the vision of their cottage he made up, where he cared for sean happily…while actually being happy…was unrealistic he realised. he’d always be angry and bored, and couldnt trust himself not to run away. he loved sean, he really did, he still wanted to cup his face and hold him close, but he couldn’t. a vital part of their previous relationship was dead with seans condition, and the rest was dying. sean didnt even recognise lenny, or any of them. he knew that for a fact because micah had bothered sean to get under his skin, sitting near him and trying to get his attention, and sean didnt react.

-the day before arthur was going to take him to a state hospital, their attitudes towards him changed. they had less frustration, more motivation, because they knew it was the last time theyd see and care for him. it made them feel a little uneasy when they thought of where he’d end up, with lenny feeling the worst about it. he still debated taking him and leaving the gang, but he knew he couldnt. he knew it would be the end of his life, his freedom, if he tried to care for him alone. but god the whole thing was killing him.

-they fed sean peaches, which he actually almost seemed to enjoy. he didnt spit anything out, though still lightly hit whoever was feeding him. he had no accidents that day, and napped mostly. he sat with the girls while they tidied him up, and spoke to him (with no response back). lenny read to him, even if he showed absolutely no interest and stared away from him. that night, they had a goodbye party and all actually paid attention to him, yes, dealing with him was easy that day, but that was because he was their main focus when normally he is not.

-ok lets end on a fluffy note where he sits with arthur and ‘watches’ his sketch. he enjoys the sound of the pencil against the pages, and seems to be almost smiling. they think he likes the sound of javier’s guitar, as he plays him a song. bill tries to give him whisky but is told no, but they do laugh when he tries too. lenny puts his arm around him and shifts his position so sean is cuddling into him. he falls asleep like that.

-he wakes the next day being kissed goodbye on the forehead by the girls as hes placed into the wagon. lenny sits in the back with him, holding him close. karen could barely bring herself to say goodbye. hosea and arthur drive, with hosea telling stories about sean when he first joined, especially his favourite, where sean got caught cheating at cards and stormed off to his bedroll. they had to lure him out and convince him to play again, and they promised to actually teach him how to play (as arthur had lied multiple times to him about the rules so he could win, poor sean didnt even know he was cheating.)

-they then arrive at the hospital, in ‘desperate need of aid as their friend has a bullet trapped in his head’.

[fratboycipher]

I don't know enough about your oc's choose whichever one for this ask game.

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

:D thank you for the ask

im gonna do it for noname and SEA ORG RADIO. "thats two people" you may say. to which i say everything w them is funnier as a duo and frankly if i did just sea he'd be annoying

noname on the left, SEA ORG RADIO on the right (those links go to more detailed bios)

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

noname is haunted by childhood in a highly restrictive and isolated cult! He was raised as sort of a golden child, isolated even from the usual cult-typical strong community with the intention of being a sort of enforcer of their ideals. He's out now, but sees echoes of them everywhere he looks(probably not helped by the fact that he's in a story called Cult Of Personality. it comes up a lot). And of course, the fear that they'll come back for him again.

He lives with it through direct action! He's a journalism major who does independent projects writing exposes on various high control groups and helps run and maintain resources for people escaping similar situations to him. He gets a little intense about it, and maybe just a little uses it as a substitute for actually unpacking his own issues. Don't worry about it

sea is also haunted by cult-related happenstance, but in a different way. he was an outsider who was the victim of targeted violence by a cult when he was a kid. or well, attempted victim, it didnt end up working out for the cult. either way he does not remember them fondly.

He lives with it through uh (checks notes) being really into cults. Like not in the "joining them" sense, he thinks that's lame, but he runs a college radio station dedicated to their activities and propaganda, keeps attending various cult meetings uninvited, and keeps trying to hook up with various leaders and/or godly figureheads. I am not quite sure how this helps, but he says it works for him. He and noname tend to uh. argue a lot

Unrelated, sea has been banned from several cults meeting grounds.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

noname has two, basically entwined things, where one is that he wants noone to have to go through what he did, and the other being he wants the group he was raised in to be utterly obliterated so he never has to worry about them again. he's pretty open with both of these! he knows the first one is unrealistic, but thats what he's dedicated all his resources towards and would love for other people to join the fight. he's also open about the second one, and he and sea argue about it, in the sense that sea says its a very achievable goal and he should do it and noname asking sea to stop recommending he murder people. sea says booo coward

what sea wants is to hook up with naten kick davey mistavi in the nuts finish his programming homework yeah I dont know im not getting a straight answer out of him. I think that answers the are they open with it question too. As for why, for a guy who talks a whole fuckin lot he's a surprisingly private person

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

Yes for both of them! They're both a kind of entity called a godling, which can mean a lot of different things but in their case both means they're vaguely inhuman omniscient something-or-others. And also it comes with autism. Like, it ended up being written as a metaphor for growing up with autism, and then i gave them autism anyway. That's not relevant, moving on

sea grew up very aware of what he was, with generally supportive parents who weren't exactly human(not godlings either, but tomato tomahto). hes used to adapting to and functioning with all it entails and considers it an integral part of him, so id say accepts

noname on the other hand grew up raised by a cult of more or less normal humans who hid what he was from him, and he didnt know beyond the instinctual feeling of Somethings Not Right until he got out of the cult and went to college. So he is aware, but it's still all a bit new to him, he's very uncomfortable with it and tends to suppress it in ways that aren't too healthy. Not quite rejects but not quite accepts, he's kind of in the middle about it. as i said. he and sea argue a lot

[disaster-fruit]

You want Jiggy ship gushing? You get that.

So, 3zun!! So much potential! Doesn't matter if you look at it as a tragedy because it all went to hell in a handbasket or if you look at what it MIGHT have been if only a few, tiny details had been different.

There's the heartbreak of Nie Mingjue placing so much trust in him at first only to turn on him later. For understandable reasons, but not very good ones. Except poor Nie Mingjue was a very young man who became a general and had to kill so many people that his sabre made him loopy way early. (I'll die on this hill: Nie Mingjue wouldn't have been that aggressive, that immovable if it hadn't been for Baxia already breaking him.) Jin Guangyao killing Nie Mingjue before he gets killed first, then having to cut him up to stop him from rampaging. Keeping his head - and you can't convince me that he doesn't talk to that head ALL THE TIME because who else can he speak to? I mean, yeah, Xichen, but there are so many things he can't tell him. Like how his family treats him? What he intends to do to his father? About his marriage?

And Xichen? Oblivious. Grieving for one brother and leaning on his killer. Jin Guangyao trying to keep one thing pure in his life by keeping Lan Xichen completely out of the loop. Sure, it's self-protection, too, but I fully believe he doesn't want to hurt him. And ... I don't think I need to go into the tragedy that is their end.

But ... what if things were different? What if someone had noticed that Nie Mingjue is NOT doing well and needs help earlier? Would he have kicked Jin Guangyao down the stairs if they had started trying to help him earlier? Directly after the war? Would it have gone the same - or would he have hesitated, saving both their lives by, for once, not acting on impulse? If that moment hadn't ended the way it did, would Jin Guangyao have killed him? Of course not. He was actively helping before that, we know this.

What if Jin Guangyao had, at some point, earlier, much earlier, cracked at the seams and had told them how he's treated? Or if he had told Nie Mingjue that he misses their closeness? Even if he had screamed that in his face, it would have been better than that horrible, weird politeness that drove him up the wall because it's fake and Nie Mingjue can't handle that. Or if he had been just a little less filial and had said, 'Screw this, I'll never be wanted here, I'm out,' and gone back to either Qinghe or Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen would have been happy to take him in, that is obvious, but I don't see Nie Mingjue sending him packing, either.

What if Xichen had seen how bad it is between them before it escalates, had guided them gently towards each other, towards each understanding the other until Jin Guangyao stops pretending to be something he's not to Nie Mingjue and until Nie Mingjue understands that they're very different people, but they basically both want the world to be better than it currently is.

So yeah, I see them as a package deal in their canonical drama and in a potential better world where all this doesn't derail, where they overcome what divides them because they all realise it's worth it. Xichen helping them see each other in a different light, and finding himself loved by both as well.

YOU GOT THE DAMN ASSIGNMENT yasssssss thats exactly what i wanted, GUSH AWAY

ngl i never really thought about mingjue being put in that terrible position at a young age (tho to be fair i dont know what age he's supposed to be and i never really thought about him in any dept at all) and that does shed some light on his character in a way i never considered. And i liked the scenario you presented that if yao had cracked and screamed at him his pain it would've worked out better because mingjue can't handle the fak politeness he gives instead.

i guess xichen kinda feels to me (and its my opinion and absolutly an invitation to prove me wrong) the weakest link in the trio? i dont remember in cql him and mingjue sharing a scene until that last arc so i never really bought their closeness (and i havent read or watched anything but cql (yet) so maybe thats the problem. or maybe im misremembering) so that makes the triple drama not hit me much? jgy doing his most to keep xichen oblivious and thus not hurt him is one thing i like a lot tho, nothing like a villan that has this one precious person he could never allow himself to sacrifice or hurt, its always tasty.

[dec0ra-grl]

This is a lot more of an opinionated post then I usually like but I have mixed feelings about Abigail x Arthur.

On one hand, there is an entire entry talking about how Arthur said he might have married Abigail if it wasn’t for Mary. But I wouldn’t be the first to interpret this as jealousy for what John had, not a genuine to romantic desire for Abigail.

For starters, if he actually liked Abigail back then (which I doubt, I’ll touch on why later) he would have stated he liked Abigail, not that “if he could go back he would.” He even mentioned loving Mary at the time in the actual entry.

And for the actually possibility of him liking Abigail back then was little to none because…she was 17-18?? Before I catch ONE of you saying that was normalized back then, it was, but the camp has people who don’t think certain age gaps are okay, including Arthur! He seems a bit off-put by Dutch’s advances on Mary-Beth, someone who is most likely older than Abigail was. Not to mention dating someone much younger DID still have repercussions at the time period, though it was mostly gossip. John and Abigail had their age gap, sure. But Arthur was 32, he actively supports victims of things like manipulation and assault, he knows better than to date someone so young in such a bad situation.

And of course there’s the whole in-law thing. Not officially in-laws, but I feel like by the time someone’s knocked up by your brother and said brother calls that women his wife, even if unofficially, you’re gonna get a bit of an ick. It’s implied he was the ‘nursemaid’ for Abigail when John left, and there’s reason for that. But I don’t think that reason Is because she liked him, it was because she knew Arthur would be the unofficial uncle, her brother in-law.

God forbid if Arthur did like Abigail, she most likely didn’t like him. Why? Because again, she was 18. She was already being paid for as a prostitute by other even older members of the gang. She was used to this business, the reason she most likely bonded with John was a shaded childhood and similar age. Any feelings of romance to Arthur would have been coaxed out with manipulation most likely or being mentally unstable because, AGAIN, she wouldn’t have that emotional maturity from being barely legal.

So at the end of the day your options are; Abigail and Arthur are just siblings trying to get over jealousy.

Or Arthur likes underage girls. Who are knocked up by his brother. And are in vulnerable situations. Because that’s…great.

(DISCLAIMER: I DONT JUDGE PEOPLE WHO SHIP THIS!! Ship whoever so long as it’s not harmful, I just feel there’s a lot of nuance in their relationship that needs to be discussed as-well. Not to METION teh age gap is using the ‘no-harm’ line like a jump rope at times. My tone might seem a bit sarcastic/mean but that’s just the ASD kicking in and it’s more joking than anything)

[tweedfrog]

Was Rhaegar hoping for Elia to die giving birth to Aegon? I mean he crowned Lyanna while Elia was still pregnant and before he learned she couldn't have any more children.

I dont think Rhaegar was hoping for Elia to die giving birth for a couple of reasons

1 - He could have just tried killing her in an easier way by making her have a 3rd child and then marrying Lyanna after an appropriate mourning period if thats what he wanted. I cant remember whether it was that the maester said Elia just couldnt have more children (as in couldnt concieve) or whether it was that Elia couldnt have more children safely (as in her and the child would live past the birth). There was quite a gap between when he crowned Lyanna and when he ran off with her and he seems to have run off with her after Aegon was born. This means that he knew Elia possibly wouldnt live past a third pregnancy when he decided to take off with Lyanna. The timeline around Roberts Rebellion is quite fuzzy though so this is hard to piece together. If he ran off with Lyanna before Ageon was born then maybe???

2 - His fixation on the prophecy - the things he is doing with his children (trying to have 3, using the naming scheme of the conquerors, Having Aegon be conceived during the time of the comet etc) stem from a desire to fulfill the prophecy and create the prince that was promised. I know fandom argues about how much him taking off with Lyanna was based on "love" for her vs seeing her as a vessel to bring forth his third child but from his actions during the war we can at least see he isnt actively plotting Elia's death. He kept Elia and Rhaenys and Aegon on dragonstone until Aerys recalled them to KL to use as hostages for Dornish loyalty.

3 - Finally characterisation as a reason he wouldnt do this. In the books Rhaegar isn't portrayed (or thought of by anyone except Robert) as an evil person. Hoping your wife kicks the bucket giving birth to your second kid is Craster level evil and i dont think GRRM set up Rhaegar to be characterized this way. I think he's just selfish/has enough of a messiah complex to simply not care about the way his actions are affecting his first wife. "Of course she'd be happy to be the mother of 2 heroes they're going to save westeros from the long night and shes lucky to be part of that" etc etc.

Also just from an outsiders perspective he seems to be either consciously or subconsciously trying to replicate the original trio of Aegon/Rhaenys/Visenya with himself as Aegon Lyanna as Visenya and Elia as Rhaenys. Snd with his own 3 children as the 3 conquerors. This would require Elia to live and be cast in the role of one of the wives.

Of course the thing is despite not actively hoping for Elia to die his political stupidity and actions cause her death and the deaths of their children anyway. That's one of the things i find so interesting about the situation - hes ostensibly this gentle clever handsome prince who at every turn makes the WORST decision possible.

He probably didnt set out to hurt Elia's feelings during the Tourney of Harrenhal! He probably didn't want to have sex with Elia so soon after her bedrest ended after her 1st pregnancy but you see he has to because the comet is here! He probably wants her on Dragonstone away from his clearly insane father but it's really just easier to leave her in KL and he promises he'll somehow fix all this in some way during an unspecified time during the future!

His moitivations mattered less than the result of his actions because functionally nothing changes if he hoped Elia died. He got her killed anyway. Hes like a bad person but not because hes evil deep down it's because he consistantly makes choices that hurt almost everyone close to him to serve a prophecy. And what makes it even worse is that he seems to realize these are the wrong choices but he goes ahead and makes them anyways because he thinks its for the greater good or its just easier for him personally.

[kkanabel]

random little things that i never included: (my first ever published headcanons! omg!)

for my first mouthwashing fic:

co-pilot mischief pt i, ii, iii (but these can be mostly understood even w/o reading the whole fic)

curly switched over to one-armed push-ups after regular ones didn't work anymore.

he doesn't have any proper weights while on the tulpar, so he'd just have to do.

but even while he was trying to work out to clear his mind

he still thought about how it'd be so much more efficient if while he was doing push-ups, you were on top of him-

you once saw "caught" him while he was doing these push-ups and you were so confused about it

because why was he so embarrassed??

like yeah, curly, sure you were doing push-ups, so why are you blushing so hard??? what's the problem with that ??

you didnt get it bc u didnt even do anything yet

and youd be thinking later like "aight let's see what's on today's menu... hmm im feeling like 'accidentally' bumping my ass into curly's crotch today!" just to try and get him to be more flustered

blushing curly~

idea from one of my ao3 commentors: (big thank you to hanisia for the idea <3)

God this was so amazing I might need the aftermath 😭 the fact you mentioned the lead asking if they could walk later sounds funny, I would actually die to read about that situation happening and Curly just being there to help us out to make sure nobody gets the idea😭😭

both of you waking up the morning after and you can't really feel your legs & youre sore everywhere

sure, curly was sore ESPECIALLY in his legs & ass from all the thrusting, but you were... nearly bedridden

he felt so, so bad

he was so apologetic like "hon, i'm so, so sorry. i made such a mistake i- i can't believe i did this to you. please feel free to kick me." he says, panicked, eyes all shifty and guilty.

you rolled your eyes "really, curly? your way of making it up to me is domestic violence?" while trying not to laugh and he's like

"domestic? wait. you want to be official..? like,,, partners?"

like THAT'S WHAT YOU FOCUS ON?

you cant find it in yourself to correct him. he looked overjoyed-

a little spark in his eye you've never seen before. his pretty, plump lips curling into a grin with such joy

he's absolutely ecstatic at just the idea that you'll be official with him.

even when you let him finish insid-

multiple times-

HOW COULD YOU SAY NO ?

but anyway

youre still mf bedridden

so you both have to come up with some explanation for the crewmembers.

by "you both", i mean curly. it's just curly. it doesn't matter much to you. you dont need to talk to anybody--especially because he refused to let you move an inch after that whole... all night non-stop f***ing situation.

so you just get to lay back & relax as you hear the voices of your newly-crowned partner, curly

and your crewmates

and it's just "our well-adored co-pilot has mentioned that they will be unable to work for the next couple days due to the flu."

they all look at him in horror

...swansea, of course, is the first person to say anything. "damn it captain, we all heard you last night. we don't mind--we're actually damn glad that you both finally fixed the level of tension--but if i wake up one more time to those disgusting noises, i will lock you in the cockpit until you starve."

....curly didn't even refute him

anya, ever the sweetest person: "congrats, captain curly :)" and doesnt say much else and walks away as if she mf knew from the start that you two had something going on.

hell, she seemed like she knew that he had something for you before YOU even realized

daisuke is just like "what are they talking about? what happened, captain curly?" and poor daisuke is just thinking like "hmm, maybe there was some sorta commotion. my dreams were louder than usual."

and curly can't even bring himself to tell the truth before swansea steps in and whisks away the confused guy to the utility room for his internship activities.

curly, ever the guilty and remorseful gentleman, brings every meal to you while you're still in his bed, recovering.

he scrounged up an instant mac and cheese that he gave you from his own secret stash. WITH EXTRA CHEESE.

even figured out how to make a ponyexpress-given-ingredients-only noodle soup for you. using nutrient packs and random canned items.

it was pretty good, too.

helped you shower & it took everything in him to not just take you again in the bathroom

you wouldn't have been opposed, but recovering was proooobably the best course of action.

when you come back, anya gives you the eye at breakfast. you could see it written all over her face when she said:

"i hope to see you in the medbay soon so make sure that you're recovering properly."

translation: you need to tell me everything.

AND YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID

a/n : first ever headcanon shared bro what did i do okay or am i like going too in-depth bc im writing this the same way i normally do w my notes before i write a fic (except my real notes are way more chaotic & vulgar) lmk if yall wanna see that stuff for fics ive alr posted LMAO like a behind the scenes or sum

co-pilot mischief ✫ curly concerns ✫ chapter uno

captain curly x teasing!reader

curly panics when he realizes he's attracted to his co-pilot. a mixture of professionalism and fear of making you uncomfortable are keeping him from pursuing his feelings. so, when you find out that he has a thing for you, you tease him to see how long it'll take for him to give up.

directory/m.list next chapter ⇨

words: ~3.5k

t/w: sexual references but no actual yucky (yet), reader being lowkey sadistic, cute curly <3, gn!reader/pronouns but reader wears a bra

a/n: hi. been obsessed with this video game recently—well, especially with Curly (go figure. i like fictional men). i needed to make something self-indulgent bc i just like this man way too much. and because i just want to make a world where none of them have to suffer. enjoy~ 

~jambalaya does not exist in this world~

Planned Shipment Duration: 382 Days Elapsed Transit Time: 292 Days

It had been over nine months aboard this damned ship, and Curly was just short of going mad. Not the kind of madness that came with sleep deprivation—he’d conquered that particular beast long ago, his body numb to the restless nights. No, this madness was quieter, more insidious, burrowing into his mind and refusing to leave. It trailed him through the claustrophobic halls of the Tulpar, slipping into the smallest crevices of his day-to-day. The worst part was, he knew exactly what caused it.

Or rather, who.

His co-pilot. The bane of his existence. The source of his sanity slipping through his fingers like sand.

Curly groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands, his calloused palms dragging over stubble. The cockpit was bathed in the green glow of the ship’s display panels, casting long shadows over his hunched figure. For once, he was alone. His co-pilot was off—God knows where—and he was left to grapple with the gnawing frustration that never seemed to diminish. It wasn’t the kind of irritation that burned; it simmered, steady and unyielding, until it became part of the fabric of his thoughts, melting like wax into his very being.

He could see their handwriting on the little sticky notes scattered around the console, each one an infuriatingly sweet reminder to stretch, drink water, or take a break. He tried to ignore the way those notes made him feel a little lighter, even when he wanted to crumple them up out of spite. Then there were the meals—hot, fresh, and left beside him during the long hours he spent poring over ship diagnostics on days he’d forget to come to the main lobby for food. Like clockwork, they arrived, a silent reminder that someone out there cared. Too much, in fact.

It wasn’t the fact that they’d climbed the ranks with startling efficiency or that they were nipping at his heels for his own position. But the issue wasn’t their competence. Hell, he’d been the one to recommend them to the crew. No, the problem—the real problem—was that he didn’t mind the notes. Or the meals. Or the way their laugh lingered in his head long after the joke had ended.

That was the crux of it: he didn’t mind. He cared too much.

Curly growled under his breath and pushed himself out of his chair, dropping into a push-up position before the thought could take hold again. One. Two. Three. The strain burned through his biceps and shoulders, grounding him in something tangible. In the beginning, this ritual had worked. Twenty push-ups, and he’d feel clear-headed enough to get back to work. But now? He was well into quadrupling that number, and the haze in his mind hadn’t lifted.

“Damn it,” he muttered, shifting to one-armed push-ups. Sweat beaded on his brow, but his thoughts remained stubbornly fixed.

It was their fault. The way they lingered in his peripheral vision during late-night shifts, always a step ahead of him. The way their presence filled the cockpit, electric and steady, as if the entire ship ran on their quiet energy. He hated it. He needed it.

Curly collapsed onto the floor, the cool metal pressing against his flushed skin. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the dull ceiling, and exhaled sharply. But it wasn’t their fault. It was all his.

Because no matter how many push-ups he did or how hard he worked, he couldn’t seem to outrun the one truth he hated most: he was falling for his co-pilot, and there was no way to make it stop.

It all started so innocently.

A couple of months ago, when Curly’s sleep was deteriorating thanks to the unholy cocktail of chronic insomnia and the Pony Express directive of “only indulging in five hours of sleep a night,” the signs of wear were becoming impossible to hide. His dark circles deepened, hollowing out his features, and the number of minor piloting errors he made began creeping upward. He hated slipping up, especially in front of the crew. But you had been there, catching the mistakes before anyone else could notice, your tone warm and forgiving as you covered for him without a single reproach.

“How many hours of sleep did you get last night, Captain?” you asked, glancing at him with a knowing arch of your brow. The question was less accusatory and more concerned, which somehow made it worse.

The third time you caught him in the cockpit, chugging yet another cup of bitter instant coffee, you sighed with exasperation. He barely had time to process what you were doing before you nudged him toward the door with a bottle of melatonin clutched in your hand.

“Rest, Captain,” you said firmly, standing your ground in front of him with a tilt to your chin that tolerated no argument. “Don’t go abusing yourself—and caffeine—like that. Do me a favor and take one of these with some water. I’ve got the ship tied down.”

Before he could retort, you physically pushed him through the doorway and locked the cockpit door behind him. He stared at the bottle of melatonin in his hand, blinking in confusion, his mind too fogged with exhaustion to properly argue. He barely made it to his quarters without bumping into a wall. Still, he heeded your demand.

When he woke up hours later, groggy but undeniably more refreshed than he’d felt in weeks, he returned to the cockpit to find the door unlocked and you sitting in his chair, nursing a steaming cup of water between your hands.

The smile you gave him as he walked in—small, gentle—made something in his chest falter, like the ship had hit a pocket of turbulence. He ignored it, chalking the reaction up to gratitude. “Thanks,” he muttered before reclaiming his chair.

That should have been it. A one-off moment. But it wasn’t.

The next time was when you came bounding into the cockpit, an excited glint in your eyes, holding a bundle of old films scavenged from storage. “Look what I found!” you exclaimed, dropping them onto the console as if they were treasures unearthed from a sunken ship. The crew’s old stash of classic movies. You suggested a movie night, and by the weekend, everyone was gathered in the living area, dressed in mismatched pajamas as per your insistence.

The fake day-and-night screen in the living room had been converted into a movie screen (thanks to a favor from Swansea), and you’d somehow transformed the cramped space into a cozy theater. The crew was laughing, the air thick with the buttery aroma of popcorn—smuggled aboard in direct defiance of Pony Express regulations. Swansea lounged in a corner, throwing popcorn into his mouth with perfect aim, while Daisuke and Anya shared a bag of candy bars, their laughter ringing out during the film’s funniest moments.

And then there was you, looking at the rest of the crew, a relieved smile on your face from seeing them having fun and relaxing.

You’d curled up on the couch with bunny slippers, wearing an oversized t-shirt that reached down to your knees. Curly found himself staring at the way your legs curled up in front of you, the smooth skin catching the flickering light of the screen. He shook his head and willed himself to look back at the film, feeling an odd mix of discomfort and… something else.

It wasn’t just your legs that had caught his attention. He watched your shoulders relax as you looked at the others having a good time. From your shoulders, his eyes slowly trailed up to your neck,

There was the lace halter bralette peeking out from the neckline of your shirt, delicate and intricate, its strap circling your neck like a whisper of fabric. He’d overheard you mention it in passing to Anya once, saying how they were more comfortable than traditional bras. Cute, you’d said. Anya had agreed wholeheartedly, and the two of you had launched into an entire conversation about comfortable alternatives, leaving him both bewildered and hyper-aware of the intricacies of brassiers.

That night, you’d tied your hair up, sweeping it off your face and revealing the curve of your neck. He hated how his eyes kept trailing there, lingering too long on the strap of your bralette before snapping back to the screen.

What was wrong with him?

The laughter of the crew filled the room, but Curly’s focus was elsewhere. He watched the way your shoulders relaxed as you leaned back, your smile warm and unguarded as you looked at the others enjoying themselves. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but in that moment, you looked so at ease, like you were carrying everyone’s joy on your shoulders and doing it gladly.

His gaze drifted again, following the line of your neck up to your jaw and almost to your lips before he froze, his chest tightening with realization. He was staring. Stop it, you creep. His heart thudded in his chest, the weight of his guilt sinking in. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you uncomfortable, to let you see just how hopelessly he was starting to lose control of his own feelings.

And yet, even as he looked away, forcing his attention back to the film, the memory of your smile lingered in his mind, burning as brightly as a star in space.

Later that night, after the crew had dispersed to their quarters, Curly lingered in the living area. The faint smell of popcorn still hung in the air, and empty mugs cluttered the low table, remnants of the impromptu movie night.

He hadn’t planned to stay, but you were still there, stacking empty bowls with practiced efficiency. You hummed softly as you worked, the sound low and content.

“You don’t have to clean up,” he said, his voice startlingly loud in the quiet.

You glanced at him over your shoulder, an easy smile spreading across your face. “Neither do you, Captain. Yet here you are.”

Curly looked so charming, sweeping up the crumbs from the ground with a bashful smile. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Force of habit, I guess.”

He stepped forward and started gathering stray candy wrappers. You didn’t protest, and the two of you worked in companionable silence. The only sounds were the soft clink of mugs and the occasional hum from the ship’s systems.

“Thanks for tonight,” he said suddenly, his voice quieter. He kept his eyes on the mug in his hand, turning it absently. “I think… the crew needed it.”

You paused, a little surprised. “Needed what?”

“A break. A reminder that things aren’t always so…” He trailed off, searching for the word. “Mechanical.”

You laughed softly, and the sound was warm enough to make his chest ache. “Even machines need downtime, Captain. And so do you.”

He glanced at you, his resolve faltering as you met his gaze head-on. Your eyes were steady, soft, and full of something he couldn’t quite name. For a moment, the ship felt too small, the air too thin.

“I guess I’ll work on that,” he said, forcing a crooked smile and dropping his gaze.

As the months passed, his little problem only got worse.

It started as little things.

The way Curly’s voice would soften when he said your name, like he was tasting it before letting it leave his mouth. How he always seemed to position himself between you and anything remotely dangerous during routine checks, even if the “danger” was just a loose panel or a slightly sparking wire. You noticed those things before, but they hadn’t meant much to you at the time.

But lately, you’ve started picking up on more.

Like how he fidgets whenever you lean over his chair to point something out on the cockpit screen. Or how his ears turn red if your hand brushes his when passing tools or data tablets. At first, you think it’s funny—how someone so competent and in control can get so flustered over little things. But then, there’s the moment in the Main Lobby.

You’re digging through one of the upper cabinets, on the hunt for something sweet, when you hear his boots scuff against the floor behind you.

“You’re always after the chocolate in the vending machine,” he says, leaning casually against the counter like he isn’t watching you a little too closely.

“And you’re always after the coffee,” you quip, holding up a ration bar triumphantly.

“Touché.” His lips twitch into a smile, and you can’t help but notice how his eyes linger on you just a moment too long before he turns to grab his mug from the shelf.

It’s not unusual—this kind of back-and-forth—but as you open the bar and break off a piece, you catch him glancing at you again, almost like he’s about to say something. He doesn’t, though, and the moment stretches long enough to feel... significant.

That’s when it starts clicking.

The lingering looks. The slight hesitation in his voice when he talks to you. The way he goes out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable, even when he doesn’t have to. The realization settles in your chest, warm and a little thrilling.

Does Curly like me?

Your mind starts replaying recent moments with a new lens. The way he always pulls you aside first to explain changes to the schedule. How he always offers to carry extra supplies during inspections, even when you insist you’re fine. That time he casually gave you his jacket when the living quarters were colder than usual, like it was no big deal.

“Earth to you,” Curly says, snapping you out of your thoughts. He’s holding out a water pouch, his brow slightly furrowed. “You zoned out there for a second. You okay?”

You take the pouch and give him a smile. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

You tilt your head, studying him, and your smile widens when he shifts under your gaze. “Nothing important.”

It’s a lie, of course. You’re thinking about him—about how he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention, about how he tries so hard to act unaffected when you’re around.

And for the first time, you feel a little wicked. If Curly likes you, why not have a little fun with it?

Curly knew something was off the moment you walked into the cockpit.

It wasn’t just the way you greeted him, your voice light and playful as always. It was the way your smile lingered, like you were holding onto a secret you couldn’t wait to let out.

“You’re up early,” you said, dropping into your seat beside him.

“Could say the same for you,” Curly muttered, keeping his eyes on the console. He was grateful for the excuse to look busy, though the screen in front of him was just a diagnostic report he’d already read three times.

“You’re always so serious, Captain.” Your tone was teasing, but there was something else beneath it, something that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

He didn’t respond, didn’t trust himself to.

The silence stretched, and just when he thought you’d moved on, you leaned closer—close enough for him to catch the faint scent of whatever soap you used.

“Hey, Curly?”

His stomach flipped. “Yeah?”

You paused, drawing it out, like you were savoring his anticipation. Then, with a sly grin, you said, “You’re staring.”

“I’m not—” He froze, his heart skipping a beat. “What?”

“You are,” you insisted, your grin widening. “You’ve been staring at that same report for the last ten minutes. What’s so interesting about it?”

Curly’s mouth went dry. He scrambled for an answer, but his mind betrayed him, replaying every fleeting glance he’d stolen of you earlier that morning. How long had you noticed?

When he didn’t respond, you leaned back in your chair, smug satisfaction written all over your face. “Relax, Captain. I’m just messing with you.”

But you weren’t. Not entirely.

Because as you watched the tips of his ears turn pink and saw how his jaw tightened, you realized something. Something that made your pulse quicken and your lips curl into a wicked smile.

He likes me.

And now that you knew, you couldn’t help yourself.

Curly swore the ship’s cockpit had never felt this small before.

You were now hovering just over his shoulder, leaning in to inspect a blinking diagnostic alert on the screen. The proximity was maddening—he could feel the warmth radiating off you, the sleeve of your Pony Express jumpsuit brushing against his arm every time you moved.

“Hmm,” you mused, tilting your head. “Looks like a minor power fluctuation. Nothing to worry about, but we should log it for the next maintenance check.”

He nodded stiffly, trying to focus on your words instead of the fact that your hair was so close it tickled his cheek. “Right. I’ll, uh, take care of it.”

But when he reached for the keyboard, so did you. Your fingers grazed his, and you both froze.

“Sorry,” you said, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. A playful smile tugged at your lips, and he didn’t trust it for a second. “Didn’t mean to get in your way, Captain.”

“It’s fine,” he muttered, turning back to the screen. But his fingers trembled slightly as he typed, and he cursed himself for it.

“You know,” you said, leaning against the edge of the console, your voice deceptively casual. “You look good when you’re focused like that.”

He nearly choked. “What?”

“I said you look good when you’re focused.” You shrugged, like it was the most normal, casual thing in the world. “It’s kind of intimidating, actually. In a good way.”

His face burned, and he fought the urge to bury it in his hands. “I—uh—thanks, I guess...”

The smile you gave him was nothing short of devilish. “You’re welcome.”

You stayed there, watching him a little too closely, and he could feel his pulse thudding in his ears. Finally, he risked a glance at you, only to find you tilting your head with mock innocence.

“Everything okay, Captain?”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, focusing hard on the screen. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Oh, no reason.” Your voice was light, teasing. “You just seem a little... tense.”

He stiffened, embarrassed and confused as to what you were doing but powerless to stop it.

“You know,” you continued, leaning a little closer again, “you really should loosen up. It’s not good for your health to be so serious all the time.”

“I’m not—” He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

“Hmm.” You studied him for a moment, and then, with a mischievous glint in your eyes, you added, “If you ever need help relaxing, Captain, just let me know.”

He froze, his brain short-circuiting at the double meaning behind your words.

Before he could stammer out a response, you straightened up, patting him lightly on the shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it. Don’t work too hard, okay?”

And just like that, you were gone, leaving him alone in the cockpit, his heart racing and his mind a chaotic mess.

He groaned, burying his face in his hands. He was doomed. Absolutely doomed.

From the moment you saw Curly’s ears turn red, his fate was sealed. You’d never imagined the stoic, dependable captain could be reduced to such an adorable mess, and now that you’d seen it, there was no going back. It was just too cute—the way his bravado would falter, his words stumbling over themselves as he tried and failed to maintain composure.

Normally, Curly was all broad shoulders and easy charm, his commanding presence impossible to ignore. But you’d discovered a crack in that armor, a secret button that turned him from the ever-confident leader into a flustered, helpless schoolboy. And oh, what a delightful button it was to press.

You’d always found him attractive—how could you not? He was responsible, dependable, and unfairly handsome. But for the longest time, you assumed he’d only ever see you as his co-pilot, someone to rely on professionally but never personally. Yet now, the way his gaze lingered a moment too long, the subtle flush on his cheeks whenever you got a little too close, told you a very different story.

It gave you a strange, heady sense of power, and you had absolutely no intention of letting it go to waste.

A small, wicked thrill ran through you whenever you imagined the possibilities. What if you teased him just enough to make that carefully controlled exterior crumble? What if you pushed him to the edge, until he couldn’t hold it in any longer? Your mind wandered to a particularly wonderful thought: Curly, unable to take it anymore, bending you over the console with a heated, desperate confession.

You shivered, the fantasy almost too delicious to bear.

And so, your mission began—not to reject him, but to push him. To tease and torment, to watch his resolve unravel thread by thread. You weren’t cruel, not really. You knew he’d crack eventually, and you planned to reward him handsomely when he did. But until then?

Until then, you’d savor every stolen glance, every stammered reply, every moment he tries and fails to hold himself together.

After all, what was a little mischief between co-pilots?

a/n: let me know what y'all think! biggest thank yous to those who have written curly x reader fics thus far, y'all fueled me lmfao.

oh yeah.. smut.. eventually...

taglist is open! lmk if you want to be on the taglist for just curly/mouthwashing characters or if you want the news on alll my fics... also might be accepting requests hehe! i can't guarantee that i can do em, but i'll accept ideas!

thanks for reading! <3

btw. not beta read, please let me know if there are any typos or inconsistencies stay safe & hydrated as always!

(and go to sleep if you're reading this super late. don't be a curly. take care of yourself! (i say, writing this at midnight))

crossposted on ao3

directory/m.list next chapter ⇨

[losing-my-mind-in-the-mirror]

you called ? (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

hehe

hi sweetie, how are you doinggggggg, how was vacay, how is life going on!!!

I came online bc mr. conan fucking gray released a new song and i wanted to see how is it going with other ppl who like him bc i loved the vibe and its different from what he usually sings and everything.

speaking of songs, i liked the one you linked in my last ask a lot.

my exams are almost over, the last one is on 26th and the next ones are in like july end so yayyyyy

i am looking forward to some holidays if we will get any because its not confirmed yet and i do not trust my institute as they didnt give us any winter holidays either. but i do wanna learn something like dancing or driving or even swimming, if we get like a month of holiday bc i really wanna learn something useful i have started to feel like a useless person tbh bc i dont do anything productive with my time. i dont read i dont write i dont have a single fucking hobby. i am just on this damn phone watching web series and movies.

although my laptop is fixed now so ig i can start reading again.

i have a rack full of course book but i just dont feel like reading them. i go through a 300 page book in two hours, just skimming through and skipping half of the syllabus. and yesterday i didnt even study that much i just gave the exam according to prev knowledge which is so so so limited idek if i will pass. like i am sure out of 10 subject i am for sure going to fail in atleast 3 including the last one and barely pass by a mark or two in the other subs.

and if i wont get any holidays then i think we will join the institute before or by 15th of june and then we will have to settle in and maybe start preparing for orientation for the next batch of freshers and maybe get to participate in some inter-institute competions. bc there are like 9 branches and i am hoping i will make some friends from the other institutes so its going to be a lot of activities and chaos and i wish i will get to participate in something and they wont reject me for being completely useless everywhere. bc that, would be hella depressing. specially as i m already feeling useless and then other ppl will make me feel more useless, like gimme a break here.

i am going to try to stay positive about it though. as long as i can that is.

sorry for the long rant lol. have a good day, or night. <3

buh bye

love ya sm

-🐬

Omg 😭😭😭 you’re actually here??? 😭😭😭

Vacay was great, life is okay ig and I didn’t cry in like 3 weeks :D

Yeah I listened to it and I really like it!! I honestly don’t know what song that was I’m glad you like it ❤️🐬

Good luck for your exams!! You’re gonna do great!!

So wait when was the last time you had holidays?? That sounds super stressful I hope you get a few free days soon <33

You aren’t useless!! But that’s great, you learn the things you wanna learn! Speaking of learning I’ll probably start taking guitar classes soon 😁

I Hope you make new friends <3 if anyone says something mean or makes you feel useless I’ll kick their asses!!

Always feel free to rant my love <3

I was at a swim competition today again! I wasn’t really good because I was sick last weeks but it was fun and I’ll go dancing tonight so I’m excited for that already 💃🏽🕺

Love you so so so much 🐬🐬🐬

[cryptidiopathic]

Perfectionism cringe more at 11

[wackywheel]

OKAY. kudos to @cantbelieveivedonethis​​ for getting the ball rolling on this theory with this post. cannot stress that enough + i dont wanna steal her thunder

ive mentioned previously that ive had this theory for quite some time, so much so that a future plot point of my fic may end up getting spoiled if i talk about it too much but FUCK IT! c!connor lore comes first i’m saying my piece

(readmore for convenience that hopefully works)

The Basics to preface this theory, i would like to remind everyone of one important facet of c!connor's character that feels as though it's been forgotten recently; c!connor views himself as The Main Character. obviously, this isn't anything big in the grander scheme of the server. everyone considers themselves to be the main characters of their stories! but this post is about c!connor, not the rest of the server. (at least, not until a little later)

The Underdog imagine this; it's your first day on the server! your best friend just died. over the course of the next year you'll not only get kicked out of every home you build for yourself, but you'll also get tortured, horribly traumatized, and left to fend for yourself by everyone around you. and yet...

Despite Everything, It’s Still You c!connor still treats everyone that he comes across with kindness and understanding. i won't spend a whole lot of time talking about him as some do, but it's definitely worth mentioning c!tommy's importance to this facet of c!connor's identity. the kid treated him like absolute shit, and still doesn't really take him all that seriously most of the time. despite this, though, c!connor still treats him with respect and kindness, even going so far as to say that he misses him in the same way that he misses c!schlatt. and that's saying something. but, enough about tommy.

when we compile all of these aspects of connor's character and shift our focus to pandora's vault, though, some pieces start to fall into place.

The Hero's Journey an underdog who cares for those around him, despite how they might have once wronged him that's looking for a way to bring himself to the top as not just A main character, but THE main character? someone with a motive to revive his dead best friend, who he's stated that he misses dearly quite a bit? someone that knows exactly WHERE and WHO could possibly give him access to this capability to revive people? hmm...

The Belly of the Beast in case it wasn't obvious already from that last section, here's my claim: i don't think there was ever a fake military id, nor was c!connor arrested whatsoever. i think that he actively went to pandora's vault and asked to be let in in order to try to get the revive book information from c!dream himself. as the title of this section suggests, this would be c!connor's moment where he enters the most dangerous place he's dealt with yet, (i mean, to our knowledge. as of today [2/08/22] we have no clue what c!connor's been up to offscreen if tales s2 does end up showing him doing it!) which holds one of the server's most powerful people.

The Warden's Toll now, here's the part where i completely shift gears and talk about c!sam. y'know, the guy who threw his entire life and almost every real friendship away for the sake of holding c!dream in the prison until he handed over the revive book info? who had dealt with visits going wrong before, to the point that he had to watch a guy get beaten to death and then revived and then traumatized even more than he'd already been before? yeah, that guy! why would he ever let c!connor in the prison?

well, i've actually already answered my own question partly on c!sam's side of things. less so for c!connor, ironically.

The Gamble we know why c!connor wants into the prison. he wants the revive book to bring c!schlatt back. why would c!sam let him in? because the revive book is all that was holding c!dream inside anymore. as soon as the nitty gritty of revival was taken and given to the wider server, (or possibly just c!quackity. you know how he is!) the burden of the prison, of pandora's vault, the one thing that had taken everything from c!sam would have finally been worth it. he could go back to how things used to be before taking up the mantle of the warden!

The Heist so c!connor would be allowed in. not directly to the main cell, of course! the rest of the guards were nowhere to be found, and the incident with c!tommy prior was plenty a reason to not let visitors get locked into the main cell with the main prisoner ever again. so, instead, c!sam took c!connor to a standard cell. later on when the warden wouldn't be as busy, (hopefully because the other guards would show their faces) c!connor would be able to be escorted in to begin the interrogation. it was a perfect plan! all c!connor would have to do is wait for a little while in a normal cell, no biggie!

When Everyone's Super, No-One Is this, obviously, isn't what happened, though. we know the story. the day before the prison break c!ranboo was taken in, c!techno witnessed it, yadda yadda yadda you get the picture. c!connor never got his chance to shine, to be the hero that did a service to his friend and the rest of the server, to be the main character, because another one showed up and stole the spotlight before he could even try, thus shifting the narrative away.

Proof After the Fact okay, enough hypotheticals. what do i have that supports this theory after the fact? simple. this hannah lore stream (if the link breaks in the future, i'm talking about the one from 1/27/22.) in specific, c!sam's kind and neutral treatment of c!connor, even when the guy straight up talks about how he was in the prison prior. wouldn't c!sam have more of a reaction to that if c!connor had actually been being held there for what he claims he was? yes, obviously at the time c!sam was dealing with the fallout of losing his main prisoner, but c!connor is just. so blunt about it? and despite that, c!sam still offers him a job at the bank and everything?

something absolutely does not add up here. hopefully this explains it, though!

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Hi! Can I request a matchup for Shadow & Bone and Hobbit/lotr (whichever character from across the two fits best, you know)?

My pronouns are she/her, and I'm cool with characters of either gender :)

Personality-wise, I've been told I come across as cold and intimidating until they get to know me better, at which point I just turn out to be a laidback goofball. I'm very good at acting confident even when I have no clue what's going on, and I tend to be the one keeping a level head in shitty situations. Furthermore I'm stubborn, proud, reckless and a little impulsive. Also, huge daredevil. I'm very protective of my loved ones, but I will stand up for anyone who needs it.

As for likes, I love being active! I swim, do yoga and am an archer. I love going on walks and just exploring places. I also adore music, both listening and playing myself, and photography. I'm a huge meteorology and astronomy nerd, so I love being out at night. I also love adrenaline kicks, like rollercoasters and stuff.

Not sure if this helps, but my love languages are physical touch (which I tend to give) and quality time (which I love receiving)

Uuh, I think that's about it? Thanks already, and have a great day/night <3

soo first of all, i’m really proud that i knew most of that about you already lmao. i may ofc be a bit biased but i hope the results dont show that - anyway i was really nervous if you were gonna like it so yeah

long story short, for shadow & bone

I ship you with... 

Genya!

- Genya is much less of a daredevil than you are, but she’s not opposed to trying anything if you drag her along. She’ll make sure you don’t overdo it, even though she knows she can trust you. Somewhat. She’s just worried about you, is all. 

- She adores the way you can stand up for yourself and for others. The second you know she’s being treated badly, you’re protesting against it, and she always blushes and smiles. It’s not that she can’t defend herself, but she just really does like it when you do it. 

- Genya is absolutely someone to plan the most elaborate of dates, yet love those spontaneous ones just the same. She likes a cuddle now and then, of course, and she won’t pass up on an opportunity to kiss you, but she really does make sure you spend some actual time with her, doing something together, trying out something new or repeating something you both love. 

- When you’re out and about, sometimes she’ll be with you, walking without a certain place to be, joining you in a yoga session or watching the night sky with you, but usually she’ll rather sit on the sidelines when you’re actually working out. She definitely will watch you work with bow and arrow - she’s always amazed at your skill, time and time again - but she’ll love simply staying in bed and reading a book just as much. 

- Your photography is fascinating to her, especially because so often now she’ll be part of it. You capture landscapes and the sky and so many beautiful things, only to then point your camera at her and take pictures of her laugh, her blush, her new gown or hair or makeup. She has to admit that she gets a little camera shy at times, but when the photos come out great, she questions why she was in the first place. 

and for lotr/hobbit

I ship you with... 

Thorin! 

(idk wtf this gif is but i love it and felt the need to share it with you lmao) 

- Thorin may not be as much like you as his nephews are, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t fallen head over heels for you. Because he certainly has. You got along with Kili and Fili from the moment you met them, and so he was forced to be around you even when he’d rather have been miles away to keep his feelings hidden. He’s not good at emotions. And he never wanted to hurt you because of it. But you made it work, even though neither of you can quite remember how.  

- He’s... more than just surprised at your archery skills. You almost outdo Kili, which is a great achievement in itself, but the look on Thorin’s face when you’d won against him in a harmless little competition for the first time had been worth a thousand gold pieces. Even after all this time, Thorin still can’t look away when you’re practising. 

- The two of you definitely get in arguments more than often enough, because both of you are as stubborn as they come and proud and not really about to back down. But you always manage to somehow work through that. Love really does strange things to a person. Amazing, but very strange. Especially Kili and Fili have a hard time processing it. 

- Thorin would absolutely join you on walks, in practise, in swimming and, mainly, in music. Even if he’s not as much of a daredevil as you are, he shares many of your interests and talents, and so it’s never a problem to find something to do together. He respectfully refuses to ever do yoga with you, though. You will never get him to do that. Ever. He’s sworn that on his life. 

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

And that if they do find a person, when they are shown to simply be exploring more of themselves rather than being 'fixed' or 'their person made them normal', like…

10/10

The other stuff is just… hmmm, yikes. Some people are into jogging and really like it, others do it socially and enjoy the effects of it. Others look at joggers and ask what the appeal is because they're always the ones finding dead bodies in the park at ass o'clock in the morning. This metaphor got away from me.

But its a physical activity that means more to some, than to others. And some people may be neutral, but will go for the occasional jog with a loved one and feel good about it. Noneyabusiness either way unless you're part of the dynamic.

And if there's an 18person jogging party with lots of leather on, someone dressed as a furry that makes you question how they run without dying of heat stroke, and everyone's having fun? Eh, that's on them to define to themselves. Also a dollop of nunya bees ness. As long as everyone hydrates and consents, that's to whoever's involved.

There can also be people who do not jog, have never thought about jogging and wouldn' consider it even if held at gunpoint. Some people are repulsed by jogging.

Some people have a gym set up in their house and a treadmill or other exercise machine that they prefer. Others would never consider it.

Some people prefer to go on a bit of a hike with a friend, but turn back at the jogging trail. That's fine too.

What they don't and never will need, is someone with a metaphorical bullhorn yelling at everyone around that making a non-jogger engage in the activity is Wrong and Abusive. Trying to convince people there that they should keep their jogging attire away from the eyes of uwu baby innocent non-joggers...

You know what, this metaphor has gotten free, kicked open the stable doors and freed all the other metaphors. It's a mess in there.

Let's try something else.

----

You can realise you were / are ace/aro now or in the future and it doesn't invalidate any previous label you felt was accurrate. Becase it's accurate at the time, and its who you are in that moment.

All of existence is growth and change. some painful, some delightful, some as confusing as a twelve clown car pile up and the confusing number of ambulances required to manage it.

You can identify as ace or aro, and work out its something else later on with the same rules; maybe it's something more complicated. Like, there's flags I dont really understand out there, but as long as it's not The People Who Want To Be Part Of The Community but Hurt Kids and or Animals (you know who i mean) then that's fine.

I work with people of every kind, lots of exploring who they are, and what identity means to them. Some weeks they're NB other times they're another gender. >Does it hurt anyone to make sure you get it right? Nah. If you get it wrong, you go 'my bad, (right name/pronoun)' and not make it about you or begging for forgiveness as we've all seen someone do before. It's cringe. move on. >Do you want someone to feel safe to come and ask for help wth a same-sex partner same way they would if it was a straight relationship? Absolutely. >Do you know how many times you have to give the safe sex talk in a dozen different ways and you do it so they know that no matter who it is with, you just want them to be sure it's consensual, something they're okay about happening (no pressure or coersion) and they are safe?

Got distracted, where were we?

Oh yeah, you can discover you were ace early or late. You can discover you might not be fully one thing or another same way. There are fifty year olds who realise after many years that they weren't straight, or that they weren't the right gender this whoole time and that's where the niggling sense of Not Quite Right has been stemming from. Of course, doesn't have to be like that either. Some people just read about something and it's like 'Oh, that's me...'

Doesn't hurt anyone to test who you are. Do you like chilli? Good question. Once your eyes stop streaming, you can decide if consuming hellfire a second time is on your agenda. Are you good at knitting? Emergency services using the jaws of life points to 'No' but you thought it was fun and will try again so...

eh.

Same as people can think they're just straight or gay because they came from a place where that was Normal and The Way it is, and discover they were bi or pan or something else all along. How many places in the first world (small towns, America and their weird fucking purity culture religions I am not over the whole pledge your virginity to your dad thing, thats so fuuuuucked up) see adulthood as a series of actions like Finish School/Get Job, Marry, Children, and push certain roles and ideals.

If that's normal, and Everyone Does it how do you question it? When you do, what resources are there? How do you feel like an adult when you don't get married or have kids? Just being childfree causes chaos for some busibodies who think that people NEED to be parents.

I can tell you in no uncertain terms that just because people CAN have kids, does not mean they will be good or safe parents. Does not mean they will have the support and resources they will need for the child. Does not have the mental stability or finances to manage the growing needs of a child because they are small and dependent. And some people just don't want to be a parent and have been pushed into it by conventional beliefs on What Must Be... and resentment festers.

Not to mention that pregnancy can completely alter biology forever, it can be hard and traumatising. Some people have major mental health and physical effects afterwards. Like, a child should ideally always be a choice that you make... that's not how it is, there are plenty of forced / coerced prgnancys (DFV), there are accidents, there are relationship fixer-upper babies, there are 'my parents want grandchildren and they're getting older' babies, 'there are 'you need to have a child now or it'll never happen' statements from unhelpful doctors who really should read a room, there are 'just one more' children and so many others.

But like I said, this is a good example of something Everyone Does that has a lot of proponents who can and will harass the childfree or those on the fence.

Like, if you don't want a baby or a pet or a lush garden that will take upkeep... you should be able to just say no thank you. But there's always someone who Knows Better and It's a Phase, and You'll be Happy when it Happens. etc. Some will push it by giving baby clothes, asking when you are intending to get pregnant, gossip when no one is drinking, and even go as unhinged as sabotaging birth control... and from the outside looking in on that mess, that's insane.

Most people would be like 'You're childfree? Okay, cool. What's your comfort level with kids?' because you could end up the fun aunt or uncle to their kids.

Got sidetracked from the original point, hope that makes sense.

Or, say, the way people assume they know best for people with disabilities like autism and downs syndrome. Talking about people with these disorders like one big collective who are all the same and must therefore do and want the same things. Often silencing the voices of those in those communities who actually are advocating for themselves. Yes, some people with these disorders can have severe impairments that does mean they need a higher level of support and care over their lives, but the main goal should be as much independence and self-advocacy as possible.

Just because your Johnny is non-verbal and likes trains, doesn't mean Matilda has those traits, she might have vocal stims and social anxiety that can be managed with X supports. Johnny needs Y. What they don't need is someone seeing them both as the Same and often lesser, because let's be real those disorders get infantilised a lot...

etc.

---------

It's whatever.

The weird part of humanity is that few people fall right into a single box and check all definitions. Be that for gender, sexuality, mental health, concept of happiness, religious or spiritual beliefs, cultural identity, etc.

Some people are a bit of everything, and it can be confusing as fuck to work out for them. Standing at the buffet of life with a level of uncertainty, like someone with lactose intolerance who really REALLY wants to try a new ice cream flavour and is weighing the risks of just winging it through their team meeting later on.

No, terrible metaphor but I'm leaving it in.

Can an ace have thoughts out of the blue about a certain person? Yeah. Maybe not lust, but they might not be 100% aromantic and asexual. There's leeway in both.

Can an Ace connect to a person and still be ace? Sure. Ace is literally an unbrella term, there's heaps under the surface if you look.

Are ace and aro people able to go through life without sex or romance? Absolutely. Nothing wrong with it. Some never want it, some try and find it's not to their tastes (eg chilli), and some never thik about it. Others might have a bit of an issue depending on what is the Norm for their culture and location and religion, etc. Everyone does the best they can to be true to themselves and stay safe, after all.

Can they want nothing sexual or romantic but want to be with them? Yep, that's a QPR, if that's what they want to label it. Heck, tthere are ace and aro in polycules right now living a life we can only dream of (someone else to wash the dishes and getting cuddles).

Can an ace/aro be in a friends with benefits? Probs, you'd have to ask that specific person if that's something they are open to.

Do ace/aro watch porn? Well, I took a quick poll of every single one of us in the entirety of human history, and they said 'No, but your mum sent us nudes and that was more than enough.'

Seriously, people. If we polled any random hundred people and didn't ask sexuality or romance inclinations, we'd get mixed results. Some do, some read it, some watch it, some don't, some go to museums and get horned up staring at marble statues until the security tase them. Like, the human body does is own thing. Not every sudden burst of arousal is related to anything or anyone in particular, it doesn't need to be acted on. Some like erotica or certain things like tentacles, or cryptids or have elaborate fantasies involving I don't know the power rangers or something. Some don't. Some just go through life ignoring any interest.

Others look down like 'What is it? What did you see?' for future reference.

Also a weird question to ask of someone at random.

Also please remember that consistently watching pornography (esp to the exclusion of almost anything else) can have an impact on your mental health and perception of sexual norms. Remember they are actors putting on a show, and for anyone who needs to hear it, the majority of what you see is very specifically created for film and Not Normal and are usually acts taken to the extreme because of the inherently voyeuristic nature of humanity.

There's stuff going on behind the cameras and possibly a script/at least set scenes that these actors are running off. Please make sure to talk to any partners and identify what you and they do and don't want from an encounter, and that enthusiastic consent is the most important part of the experience. Also, pornography has very similar body types; nothing is wrong with you or your bits... it's like modelling, they want a specific look even for your tackle box. Worst thing you can do is compare yourself. If someone likes you, it's not going to matter because they'll see you as a whole, and not just parts. etc etc feel good statements and psa over.

Don't end up with Cockroach wife cuckbrain.

Can only ace/aro date another ace/aro? No? Where are these questions coming from that's not how this works at all. It's about the person and the other person (and the other other persons if we're getting into it) involved and how they are compatible, their thoughts and needs and feelings. It's not like a kid cartoon where the two pretty people are a couple and the two fat ugly people are a couple and the two ducks are a couple, etc. Sometimes you get like, a walrus and a rhino, different needs and whatever, but they work.

Think up your own concept for that one, I'm shaking the metaphor jar and I can hear rattling in there but it's stuck right now.

Can they have sex toys and crank it? Yeah. There's a good piece on how desire and arousal can be normal human experiences and divorced from a person in general, on the AVEN network website. It even gives tips on how that can work, and how to make it stop if the ace/aro is repulsed or not wanting it. they also mention if you are wanting to be aroused and struggling, that can be a sign to see the doctor, a sign of stress or medications, etc. if you're worried, there's no silly questions to take to a GP. Better to know and manage than suffer alone... presuming you have a good and helpful system and not a nightmare of for-profit like america (sorry guys, I'd put you all on my medicare card if I could, bc my taxes actually go towards funding the system rather than war).

Side note, if you have an ace or aro friend... might want to not like, start conversations with a 'do you jork it?' query. Might not go the way you want. Like I said, everyone's different, some people are very open to the point you beg them to Stop Talking and others are quite private. Same way you shouldn't be like 'so what's in your pants' to anyone ambiguously dressed or presenting. Just... chill.

Subtly offer them a discount code for a fun toy store, and see if they're intereste-.... kidding. But if you want a suggestion...

Can an ace have the occasional thought about wanting someone to kiss their throat, hold them kindly, see a hot pair of thighs and have an irrational urge to touch them, see some nice hands and wonder what they'd feel like, or the odd urge put their/someone's boobs in someone's/their mouth? Sure. Not all, like previously covered. But really...

What about sex dreams? I'm sure that happens to a lot more people than we know... also not aquestion to bring up. But if you can dream of your teeth falling out, fighting the god of the ocean with other warriors you are apparently married to as cats run out of the sea in advance, prepare cosplayers for ritual sacrifice then defy it because you loved her and had to get her safe, escape jurassic park by punching a croc, fistfight an invisible bear that can teleport bc he was being a bit of an asshole, or solve a roadtrip style muppet murder mystery that somehow involved a pterodactyl you vanquished with a frying pan... sex dreams don't seem all that out of the wheelhouse, right?

Depends on the context. I mean, someone out there has to have had very strange arousing dreams about a clown in full make up in the middle of the ring railing them on the circular step that the elephants use as the zebra from madagascar does a tooslow 'afro circus' dance with music in the background while demonic laughter overlays. It's not me, but I know it must have happened somewhere, and to someone. Humans are full of endless potential.

Is it weird to assume aces/aros are virgins? Yes. Also, who the fuck opens with a question like that? On the other hand, they might be, and the issue there is that often the word is used with scorn or mockery these days. especially by the incels and the manofear fellas who think people have expiry dates like bananas or something. Everyone has a go at something for the first time when they are ready for it; BUT having said that, there are also so very many different hobbies, tasks, activities and etc that people never get to or ever feel the drive to try.

eg. would you go skydiving if you had the opportunity? Some would say YES FUCK YEAH WHOOO, others would need a gentle push out the door (requested/consensual), and others would be holding onto the front lawn for dear life as they politely decline. The lst group would leave a cartoon smoke cloud in their exact shape as they fucked off to who knows where looney tunes style. Doesn't make them sky virgins or gravity prudes, etc.

Now I'm thinking about how fun skydiving would be. Mostly concerned that if the parachute failed I'd make a huge crator... which would be an awkward way to go out, but at least I could bury myself and save the fam the expense. Win/Lose.

What about all the fic writers and artists and kinksters? Oh that one's easy. There are ace out there who are deeply embedded into bdsm spaces, and it may be a sexualised space but not necessarily sexual for them. There are amazing fic writers and artists who like what they do and it's a little hot (you try writing nsfw and trying not to use engorged bologna or weeping clam every third sentence like some mills and boon nightmare, because that's funnier than it is sexy), but that doesn't mean they want it for them.

Like, you've read fucked up stories of battle and gore, and magical powers but that's not irl is it? Right? You can imagine yourself riding a dragon, but when you think about the logistics of dragon care and upkeep it would be a fucking nightmare... not to mention, what kind of vet would you need? How would you buy enough food? Would the council send the rspca if your dragon ate a few cattle from the neighbouring farmers the other night? Probably. How many centuries do they live? Are you going to have kids JUST because you need to bequeath Spot the 2nd Scourge of All Who Cower to someone in the family for the next 47 generations?

Genuinely trying to figure out what you would need to feed and care for a dragon apart from like, trillions of dollars and a good lawyer.

Also, just to put it out there for aspiring drawers and writers... there are resources to help you get things a little more accurate, if you want. Not just the hub or other similar sites (although if certain well known comic artists who do Marvel I think it is, who trace directly from certain videos for their action scenes with women... then why can't you?)

You can just ask someone too. Like, no one is going to laugh in your face or anything... but some of the fic I've seen out there was truly fascinating, and you could jjust tell they came from an abstinence-education only state. So like, just... ask, there are pose websites, there are non-explicit information guides, there are videos and even people who will just talk about it.

And remember, no matter how hot you think it is... character A rubbing cum on Character B's stomach regardless of gender and bits in play, will not magically induce pregnancy. Unless there's actual magic involved but it wasn't in any of these up-to-that-point amazingly written fics, that was a bewildering repeated issue for a few years there.

Let's get you some sex ed, guys... trust me.

-------

It's all… to borrow a very specific phrase we all know on this site, wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy and the spectrum is more of a discoball than a line.

So the self-righteous defenders of purity and apparent chastity… the ones losing their shit over ace characters or even just headcanons for characters, need to calm down.

Life is hard enough as it is, and you can absolutely take a step back to think about it or even look into it, ask someone what it's like or just go through the tags for it.

It's like… would you start tagging every male-centric post as #notsafeforwomen because you think that would help? Is every woman the same? No? Of course they aren't… across the continuum, everyone is different and experiences the central theme of womanhood differently - including those who had to fight to get their status recognised because they are sisters not just cisters.

Doesn't invalidate it.

Also, infantilising if someone was to speak for All Women.

Hell, they made the most misogynistic creepy fucking onion-eating gollum-looking ballsack-style motherfucker in Australia the Minister for Women a few years back (he's not anymore thank fuck), and he was A Problem. But he was listened to because he had influence. For example, this guy thought it was appropriate to take a photo with a girl's netball team and tell them "Remember girls, abortion is the easy way out!" before the camera clicked. Out of the blue. The fuck man?

Now imagine, for a second, someone that unhinged with no idea what its like to be a woman, or queer, or disabled or poc, or a combination of all the above because those people are out there and not just some right-wing punchline that's funny because the descrition is 'so long' as if its not attached to a real life person, is constantly championing a cause that no actual members of the community being 'championed' are involved in. It makes it… a problem.

Because now there's fighting on two fronts. The Original Issue, and then the battle to prove you actually are an _______ because you disagree with what this person who is Trying To Help is saying. Because of course if you WERE REALLY _______ you would also believe in this and Thank Them for trying to 'fix' (something that didn't need their input or you, specifically). Think, AutismSqueaks and their eugenicist nonsense and the utter contempt those people had for the subject of their 'charity'.

Undoing harmful ideas and stereotypes isn't new, but it is annoying and lets be real, it adds another twenty hurdles to the racetrack for any group that are facing the issue at the core of the thing.

Also the whole 'but you're conditioned to think that way' thing… stop it. Enough with that. People know their own minds, 90% of the time, and the more you push the harder they'll defend. That's how it works.

You think someone living the experience isn't going to have a take on it based on their ongoing existence, their challenges and triumphs? It's like belittling someone who has just gotten a good grasp on ASL, ecause they 'could do better with hearing aids and learn to communicate better'.

For one, that's your perspective, and honestly may not be what a person wants. It might not be possible to help either. The assumption you know better than someone is the problem, and that you know best is at best infantilising and dehumanising.

--------

To circle back.

The overriding point was.

Some aces fuck just maybe not the ways and reasons you do, get over it. Some aces never do, don't want to and your Opinion on that is about as useful as a hot sauce bidet.

Some aros have loving relationships, it may just not correllate to YOUR idea of romance. That's fine too. Some never will have a romantic or QPR relationship and don't want one, but have fulfilling networks of their own the likes of which you cannot fathom. Again, your opinion = hotsauce bidet.

Ace, Aro, Gay, Bi, Pan, everything under the big old banner...

It's a kaleidescope, not a linear spectrum, guys.

also while I have you

Stop the Safe For Ace Space crusade thing too because wow. Hmmm. That feels like you trying to put like, nannynet filters on a grown adult's computer, and then patronisingly saying It's For Your Own Good.

No, thanks. We're going to watch something depraved now, just to spite you. There's a bunch of differently named crusades, and people also using the same ideology to go feral over ace/aro characters (or those headcanoned as such) being placed in equally fictional relationships or having fantastic sex of some kind or other... and it's like. Calm down.

For one, it's nice to have those stories. It's comforting for some, hopeful for others. And if someone really dislikes that... they can just, click Back on the story or the artwork. There's equally as many of certain characters as their full ace/aro/aroace selves... and that's also awesome, and easily sought out these days.

Please stop uwu babying Ace/Aro/Aroace people and characters. I can see you're trying to help, but it's about as effective as burning down the house to mop up spilled juice in the kitchen. Now there's more issues to deal with.

But also, I'm just one biace, and i might be Biaced (lmao), so if others have alternate perspectives and viewpoints... take note of them too. Because people are, as I have persistently hammered home, all different.

Even identical twins can be so naturally opposite their only commonality is their appearance (and that can change over time as well). You wouldn't treat them as the same person, now, would you?

No? Then lets all just chill out for a hot minute and let people in the communities bring up issues and you can ally with them. Cool? Cool.

Seeing ace characters who might come into relationships or find their person, or even just being chill about physical / intimate interactions as a means of fun or connection or scratching an itch, or even just being respected for not being interested all that often or at all, is actually super helpful and validating

and if one more person tries to baby the ace community as if it were some amorphous mass of innocent baby uwu or something

or speak on their behalf as if, again, they are some sort of giant spinster aunt who has never even conceived the notion of a man's downstairs unmentionable and what might be done with it and is prone to fainting at the very concept of matrimonial duties...

i am going to put you in time out

on jupiter

and you will think about your actions

[goblincave666]

analyzing tw personality types number 1: corey bryant - ISTP 5w6 sx/sp

hey thats his lacrosse number

so yea he was underdeveloped but i’m gonna try to explain my reasoning. i will probably also do liam, mason, theo and stiles and then maybe some other lads if i don’t give up at that point

also if you dont know what these numbers and letters mean: ISTP is mbti, ti/ne/se whatever is mbti theory, 5w6 is enneagram, and sx/sp is the enneagram subtypes. this post assumes you know more abt it so this is more intended for tw fans experienced with personality theories/personality theory tumblrs that happen to know about tw. cool? cool.

side note: trust me when i say i know what i’m talking about, i used to video edit & i have made so many scenepacks of this invisible fuck that i can quote MANY lines & tell you exactly what he does from start to finish. doubt my mbti knowledge, not my knowledge on side character lore >:)

auxiliary se

we’re starting with se because i can explain ti/fe in the same section & struggled to explain one without the other.

so people generally tend to characterize se as being physically active and aware of your surroundings which uhh isn’t it??? at all??? it’s just being straight to the point and surface level. of course ni helps istps with underlying themes, but their first instinct is gonna be to perceive reality without underlying themes. it’s just plain old vanilla reality.

despite corey consistently defying the se related stereotypes and playing right into the INxP inattentive can’t see shit in front of himself stereotype, he thinks like an auxiliary se user. when mason talks to him about the good guys vs bad guys dichotomy, he just mentions that he wants to stay alive and theo’s side seems to be the best way to do that. intuitives might pick up on underlying themes and patterns more, but corey literally does not give that a second thought. this could also be because of death “darkening his soul” or whatever the show tried to explain half-assed though.

so let’s look at more examples:

>genuinely getting absolutely nothing out of the schrödinger’s cat lesson multiple times. usually not being able to keep up with mason’s rants about things until mason directly explains what they mean. this might’ve been throwaway if it happened once, but it happens a lot. i know not being good at school has nothing to do with cognitive functions, but everything being explained to him are FIGURATIVE concepts, ones not based in concrete reality; xSxPs can find figurative stuff tedious or a waste of time.

>being able to 20/20 see how screwed up beacon hills is and wanting to leave immediately, not even remotely excited about the possibilities of the supernatural. like i know he got his ass kicked multiple times before he could even register that maybe the supernatural would be cool, but i think an ne user might be like “woah what else is there” or smth, even in a morbidly curious way. corey does not give a shit about that. he wants to leave because shit’s demonstrably dangerous as hell.

>”your friends aren’t my friends” is pretty surface level. like dude liam has been mason’s best friend for their entire childhood presumably, or at least since 6th grade. (to be fair liam was also being a douche. they were both douches. douche solidarity.)

>he literally disappears immediately with mason in 5x18. he isn’t taking any chances with scott after, i don’t know, scott claws him in the neck and generally doesn’t give him any help despite helping hayden loads. i’ll come back to this topic one day bc while i like scott as a character (but not a protagonist) this WAS a fucked situation in general. basically se>ne for this too bc for all he knew scott could’ve killed mason & he wasn’t taking his chances like an ne user might.

(please don’t attack me i’m not a scott anti)

>”i just wish i could help her, you know, to-“ — “be alone?” mason is clearly ignoring that lydia told him and corey to shut the fuck up MANY times when he was still there helping, and corey quickly brings him back to reality by saying she literally would do better without their help.

so basically tldr he thinks more literally and concrete than about possibilities than an INxP, even if he has stereotypical INxP energy lol

tertiary ni

so ni users have this thing called “ni tunnel vision” where they can’t see possibilities around them that might be actually viable. the same way si users are so stuck in what worked before that they can’t see what COULD’VE worked. etc etc etc. i have the most rusty idea of ni so if this doesn’t make any sense i will not be even remotely surprised.

but basically you NEVER see corey consider multiple perspectives or ideas. he narrows things down, and that’s the difference between ne and ni. ne expands and can get carried away with all the possibilities, ni narrows and focuses too hard sometimes. it “just knows” things and often doesn’t have concrete reasoning.

so some swaggy ni examples (forewarning, i am kinda grasping at straws. while ti-se seemed obvious to me, ni is pretty hidden & barebones.)

>being hellbent on leaving until he actually needs to stay to help at the lacrosse game, and even that took convincing from mason

>i know “hunches” are one of the dumbest ni stereotypes, but ne/si users might not even be able to catch onto hunches they have, and might think “oh well it just could’ve been this lol.” the fact that he’s sure some shit went down at the library in 6x2 & doesnt consider another possibility seems kinda ni to me??

>honestly the best point i can use to prove the existence of ni is that he uses se. keep in mind that i’m using like 30 minutes of screentime to justify what i’m saying here and ni is the least obvious function for him (and generally a really weird/hard function to spot anyways)

dominant ti/inferior fe

so while i waffle a bit with the n vs s dichotomy for corey, i know DAMN well he’s an IxTP at the very least because of the glaring dominant ti and inferior fe.

at the beginning of the show he tries as hard as he can to stay away from the supernatural. he doesn’t consider the fact that the others might need his help, and he doesn’t ask them for help either. he DOES come to book club, but states that he’s only on chapter 1, and after scott claws him in the neck he’s just about done with helping.

up until 5x10 he pretty much only shares stuff he discovers with mason. in 5x7 (i think) he does look into how the sting he got mysteriously healed, but it takes mason’s intervention for him to even open up about it, and it takes mason’s intervention again for him to try out weights before he subsequently dies. so he’s a generally uninvolved person.

he even tries to go off on his own from the PACK THAT RESURRECTED HIM & asks mason out, and is only thrwarted from this when theo threatens him with sort of a “i brought you back, i can just as easily kill you again” type shtick and then yeah i mean i’d help too. dying doesn’t seem ideal.

basically ti dom/fe inferiors stay pretty uninvolved and personally autonomous. they don’t need a lot of interaction, come off pretty introverted, and usually prefer to be left alone. they can actually come off mean/cold unintentionally, since fe is literally based in group values.

which brings me to my next point. he definitely does come off mean/cold unintentionally.

>”you like me, go out with me.” corey says as the guy he’s allied with literally almost got mason’s best friend to MURDER his alpha

>explaining why him and the others have to “leave” in 5x15 to mason very matter of fact. he’s sad, and he does throw in the let me protect you line, but anyone without feeling in the inferior position would approach that conversation with more tact yk

>”they’re just rumours. they don’t know anything.”— “they know everything.” liam literally asks corey why he only shows up when there’s bad news because he’s so blunt about the situation throughout 6x14.

>6x2 is a good ti vs fi conflict (with mason’s fe on the side since he’s inbetween liam and corey.) liam gets mad at corey in kind of a moralistic way, angry that he didn’t try to help hayden and mason more during the fight against the beast, when corey just remarks that he literally wasn’t physically capable of doing anything useful. & liam doesn’t take that for an answer at first bc he tries to do the right thing & he’s kinda stubborn yk. liam’s definitely more idealistic in that way, and i think it shows how matter of fact corey is by contrast and why he doesn’t really comment on liam’s feelings at all.

another interesting thing to note in the difference between INTPs and ISTPs: ISTPs are (stereo)typically colder. INTPs can actually end up seeming a little nicer/softer than ISTPs, because INTPs can use their ne to sense underlying social patterns, even if they end up awkward and scattered. ISTPs have the double whammy of inferior fe and se seeing everything as just the way it is. this is why “your friends aren’t my friends” and “you like me, go out with me” are very se/inferior fe examples. corey doesn’t see underlying themes as easily, and the inferior fe makes that even worse.

(also if any of this came out harsh, i literally have inferior fe too. this is me personally attacking myself. i will also roast the other characters about their inferior functions so dont you worry)

enneagram 5w6

i’m still considering 9w8 as a valid option for his ennea too, but there are a few reasons why i lean a bit more into 5.

first of all: triads!! remember that they actually do mean things.

what triads do 9 belong to? positive outlook, attachment, and withdrawn.

withdrawn totally checks out. he’s an introverted guy. he literally turns invisible when confronted. if that isn’t the most withdrawn triad shit idk what is.

but things get a bit muddy when we move into the other 2. attachment triad types struggle to separate themselves from others, and after what i discussed before, i think corey has the opposite problem. positive outlook types have a positive outlook. enough said. he’s pretty far from optimstic.

what triads do 5 belong to? competency, rejection, and withdrawn again. i’m damn near certain he’s withdrawn.

competency fits. reactive could kinda work too, but i think competency works the best. when stressed competency types kinda just work as hard as they can & focus on what they can do. corey doesn’t seem to fall into his emotions like a reactive type would, nor does he literally ignore reality like a positive outlook type. he also visibly worries about his ability to do things, like in 6x3 when he had to fight for the first time, and in 6x15 when he’s upset about having stood by while liam “got his ass kicked.”

and rejection is what sold it for me. his family seems neglectful, judging by the fact that they didn’t notice him literally dying. even if that was an exaggeration on corey’s part, you don’t say stuff like that about parents lightly, so they obviously lack some sort of care that parents generally provide. rejection types basically learn at some point in their childhoods that they have to fend for themselves and need to learn how to do that yk. 2s generally try to help everyone else & resist help from others (even if they secretly want affection back,) 8s refuse help because vulnerability feels like weakness and weakness leads to being controlled, and 5s observe the world around them and don’t know how to ask for help or reach out.

so about 5s in general and why i think corey’s a 5: despite lacking in the stereotypically intellectual area of 5s, corey is basically a stereotypical 5. they’re called observers for a reason. when 5s don’t think they know what they’re doing, they retreat. this is literally what corey did for the entirety of season 5 because he thought just being able to turn invisible wouldn’t exactly fare well against werewolves & chimeras and the fucking beast of gevaudan (who turned out to be his boyfriend poor thing) so he retreated. when he realizes he probably has to fight in 6x3, he’s openly insecure about this and needs a ton of reassurance before he can even try.

it’s why 5s sorta stay in their caves and don’t initiate things, they’re afraid of incompetence and stuff. he has no idea how to navigate this world that is already terrifying as all hell for him. 5s are also in the fear triad, and from what i can tell, he’s a 5w6, which is literally DOUBLE fear center!! we love to see it

i also don’t think he’s a 9 because he isn’t scared of conflict. physical conflict sure, but he has every right to be, and that ties into the competency thing. emotional conflict is completely different, and he’s never seen sugarcoating anything or avoiding conflicts to please people, which are hallmark 9 symptoms.

side note that may or may not be canon: so on the tw wiki i found a transcript for superposition (https://teen-wolf-pack.fandom.com/wiki/Superposition/Transcript) and it’s REALLY descriptive. like as an aspiring screenwriter myself i’ve looked for screenplays past 3A and been generally unsuccessful, but some of the descriptions in here are like more descriptive than the actual ACTING in the show, so i wanted to share a couple of them that definitely support my theory:

COREY: I didn't even know it went that high... I'm stuck at a 2.7.

[Mason immediately tries to comfort his boyfriend when he realizes how insecure he is about his academic life]

MASON: Liam, look-- it's not like chameleons are the apex predator of the animal kingdom. All Corey can do is disappear.

[Corey's expression darkens, visibly hurt by Mason's comment, and when Mason realizes what he has just said, he starts to feel guilty for his unintended rudeness. Liam, however, continues to reject their attempts to argue Corey's case]

like??? who wrote this and why is it so descriptive???

anyways if that was what was intended then uhh 10 points for gryffindor

and my w6 explanation. he seems a lot more security oriented and dependent than a 5w4. that’s the only reason. i also don’t really see much 4, although it also seems like the only possible heart fix, so even though i dont really believe in tritypes he’d be a 594 probably. merry christmas tritype fans

sx/sp

let’s look at what the 5 subtypes are so we’re all kinda on the same page because enneagram info on the instinctual variants are so painfully inconsistent that sometimes arguing with other people about them is like arguing with a brick wall because we’re literally going off different definitions.

sp 5: Very protective of personal space and privacy, this type sets clear limits and boundaries and is very comfortable living a relatively solitary life with just a few close friends. They would much rather observe social life than participate in it. Often truly introverted, they prefer not to reveal much of their inner self, finding it difficult to lower their guard for fear of losing their privacy or sense of safety.

sx 5: The typically cool, analytical Five connects to passion in this subtype, focusing that passion on one or two people in an otherwise reserved life. They experience strong ‘chemistry’ with another person, enjoying the connection and trust and openness this permits. They risk depending on this other person to make them feel vibrant and alive, leading them to ‘test’ their partner’s loyalty or resist sharing them with others.

so 5: The SO Five searches for the essence or meaning of situations, with a focus on the big questions as they pursue wisdom and knowledge. They connect with groups or experts who share their brilliance and high ideals, often disconnected from everyday issues or emotions. While sharing values and ideals with energy and enthusiasm, they may resist sharing space, time or inner resources, disconnecting from the people around them

so uhh yeah i think he’s sx/sp/so in that order. he is generally indifferent to having friends throughout the show but seems to really care about mason, and i’m sure if the show went on or we got a spinoff he’d eventually open up to liam and maybe even theo too. 5s are just guarded like that. i don’t see any so 5 so i mean yuh thats about it, it’s pretty self explanatory

conclusion

anyways this ended up way more rambly and long than i intended but if you enjoyed then hope you look forward to the other ones i may or may not write!!

[wolfling06]

The Bigger they are, The harder they fall

Writer’s note: Hey! this is my first ever fic, I have dabbled some in writing but I have never written a full on fic so I apologize if there is anything wrong with it. anyways, Enjoy! (yes this is my original fic, please do not take it as your own and if you are to reblog or repost it, please tag me. thank you!)

Summary; Skid and Pump had quickly become the most well known of the extended group of friends as the most teasy, mischievous, and energetic lers. They were definitely a force to be reckoned with. And they both had their eyes on the tallest, strongest of the group. A true challenge to bring down, and one they both wanted to hear laugh. Whitty. (Lee!Whitty and Ler!Pump&Skid)

Warning: Slight language

  After the Lemon demon was defeated and all were saved, they began to hang out and visit one another more often, Pico, Keith, and occasionally even Carol would go with Whitty to the skate park or even do some graffiti with him, Gf would occasionally tag along but would also often spend more time with her parents. Skid and Pump were all over the place and visited everyone at the most random times, jumping in and occasionally even startling the others out of their previous activities. 

   The 2 were quickly known as the most mischievous and ones who would do anything to pull a good prank or 2. The only thing that could be matched with their love of pranks and adventure was their love of hearing their friends laugh.

   And oh, how they tried, they did many things. From bad jokes, to silly stunts, to even tickling. And once they found out everyone in the gang was even a little ticklish they both wanted to exploit this new discovery to the fullest. And they did, whether they had reason or not. 

   Many times they would target Keith, Pico, or even each other from time to time. Mostly because they were around their size and easy to get to. Carol and Gf were also similar in height but they saw the boys more often. However, that didn’t mean the duo weren’t up for a challenge. Whitty for example;

    Whitty was very tall, standing at only a single inch short of 9 feet, very tall and lanky with extreme strength and great self defense capabilities that his appearance would blind one from seeing at first sight. He was always calm and poker faced and he rarely smiled out of pure amusement. He was easily the tallest out of all of them. And, with Skid and Pump being the smallest of the whole group, that meant they were very much opposites. One would think it would be impossible for the 2 to take him down, especially long enough to successfully tickle him like they would the others.

  And at first, yea, it was very difficult. 

  Until they discovered a new approach to it.

  They first discovered this new technique while they had been visiting his place. They had stopped by on another one of their unexpected visits. At first, Whitty seemed a little bothered, but as it kept happening over and over and it seemed that no matter what he said or did, they always kept coming. He tried to keep polite about it but whenever he would win, he would get the kicked puppy look and they would slowly make their way out looking sad and dejected. Eventually, his guilt would take over and he would either let them stay or they would go and he wouldn’t even object to them the next time they came. Eventually, he just gave up trying all together and let them come and go as they please so long as they dont take or break anything.

   However, this time when they came they seemed a little...different.

They were energetic and chatty as usual, but they seemed a little more giddy than usual, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched, a feeling he particularly hated. He let the 2 wander the living room a bit before they settled down on the couch, both shifting a little to get comfy. He made his way into the kitchen and pulled out a large bag of Dorito chips and poured it into a bowl, making his way into the living room once more and placing it on the coffee table before setting up the Nintendo Switch and popping in Mario Kart, offering the other 2 one of the controllers. Pump went first against Whitty, it was a loser trade where the person that lost had to give it to the next person that had yet to play. In this case it was Whitty against Pump, who paid more attention to the scenery of the game then that actual race. Skid shouted, clearly hyped up, and stood up on the couch and began waving his arms in the direction he wanted Pump to go. The pumpkin head only occasionally took his advice as Whitty sat to the other end of the couch watching the 2 out of the corner of his eye with a smirk, he was clearly much farther ahead then Pump with him being in 2nd place and Pump being in 8th. The only reason why he wasn’t in 1st already was because of the stupid Metal Mario character, who was practically cheating, and wouldn’t let him pass and it was starting to get slightly annoying.

   They went through a couple rounds, Whitty never losing while Skid and Pump passed it back and forth repeatedly. Though he noticed that, thankfully, they were no longer watching him so intently, that was a relief. He began to relax a bit, reminding himself that they were just children and he was much bigger and stronger than them. ‘C’mon, relax! They’re just children, stop being so paranoid.’ he thought to himself as he tried to focus more on the game then his own thoughts, he turned a sharp corner and nearly cursed when his avatar, Bowser Jr., almost went flying off the track. He managed to catch himself at the last second and made a slick recovery. However, hearing a sudden bark of a laugh paired with a whoop from the Spooky Duo didn’t make him feel so confident. He glanced at their side of the screen and noticed they had a blue spiked shell in their avatar’s hand. “Oh shit..” he muttered upon seeing it. Quickly, he slammed the breaks and let Metal Mario, someone he had just managed to pass, go ahead of him just as the shell went blazing by. He sighed with relief, glad it hadn’t hit him.

   “Aww, c’mon! That was reserved just for you!” Skid blurted, though there was no real agitation behind his words, allowing Whitty to give him a smug smirk and said “I have been playin’ this for a while, kid, I have seen all the stunts you ever even hope to pull.” He kept his eyes glued on the screen, unaware of the glint in their eyes and the small snicker the two exchanged. “You have seen all the stunts we hope to pull, you said?” Skid asked while Pump was still snickering slightly to himself. “Tch, yea, that's what I said.” He stated simply, not really paying attention to what they were trying to say. Until- 

“Now!” “Wha- hey!” Thwump!

The 2 didn’t wait, the game unpaused and still running, they tackled Whitty against the couch, being careful not to hurt him. They had to act quick, they had to! Otherwise, they wouldn’t have any way of getting to him. Before he had time to utter a single syllable, they attacked. Pump and Skid quickly hopping onto his arms to keep them pinned to the couch, they were sill sitting up but he was stretched out enough he might as well have been laying down, and proceeded to quickly skitter their fingers everywhere they could reach; ribs, stomach, sides, neck, somehow under his arms, hips. 

They moved quickly and held on for dear life, moving quickly and shifting their own body weight continuously, from sitting on his arms to his hips and at his side to just either side of him to both on one side-. They went everywhere they could, going all over the place so it would be harder for him to catch them or try to find a pattern and stop them. His laughter was loud, belly laughter. Though not unpleasant, he squirmed the best he could in an attempt to find some way to escape, but with them all over the place it was pretty difficult. 

“BAHAHAhaha! Whahahat are yohou twoho dohoing?? Gehet off mehehe!”

“Its working! Keep going Pump!” Skid called excitedly. Their plan was working! They continued, unintentionally forming a bit of a pattern, but not enough for Whitty to keep up or be able to stop them. He pulled his arms in and attempted to hug himself to protect the majority of his torso from the brunt of it all. His legs kicked out behind the other 2, though he was consciously making sure he couldn’t risk their wellbeing, he had enough self control for that. 

  “Stahahahap geheht ohoff of mehehe!!” he laughed out, attempting to carefully push Pump away from his side while trying to fend off Skid from his stomach. The 2 only giggled with glee, proud in themselves that this was working, and ecstatic that they had finally managed to successfully find a way to tickle their Object headed friend silly. 

 Skid glanced down and an idea popped into his skull, lighting his eyes up with great glee and an idea. Glancing down he noticed that, during his squirming, Whitty’s hoodie had ridden up some, revealing the pitch black, quivering flesh beneath. This was perfect! Taking a deep breath, he wasted no time and plunged his face into that thin like of flesh, pulling his hoodie up a tad for more lee way, and blew.

And by God, the shriek that followed.

 “SHAAAAAHAHAHA-! FAHAHACK OHOFF!!” he exclaimed, his laughter reaching a whole new pitch and in a newfound hysteria. Skid and Pump exchanged a look, man this was awesome!! No one had ever heard the bomb head laugh so hard! Skid proceeded to pepper more raspberries along his stomach, lifting his hoodie up some to spread around the love. Pump continued to tickle along Whitty’s ribs. Though, his curiosity got the best of him, he was aware that some people, like Keith for example, had ticklish hands, and other unusual places, maybe Whitty did too? It was a weird thought and definitely one only Pump would have had, but it was a thought nonetheless that he wanted to experiment on. He pressed a sweet spot into his ribs, earning a startled yelp and a hand planted into his chest in an attempt to push him away. Gently of course. But this gave Pump his window, dropping everything, he wrapped his legs around Whit’s arm for a better hold. Pulling his fingers back, gently of course, and fluttered his own fingers along the palm of his hand, from the ridge to the base.

“*snrk!* heheey! *snrk! *snrk!* Stahahap!!” Pump’s eyes widened, Whitty was snorting?? Oh my God, this child’s mind was blown. Skid had lessened the raspberries and had gone back to scribbling so that their bomb headed friend could go longer without reaching his limit, which explained why his laughter had calmed down some. Skid looked up in surprise and noticed what Pump was doing when an idea of his own came, he gestured for Pump to make a raspberry, The pumpkin headed kid was quick to catch on, before making his way further down the couch. Pump proceeded to bury his mouth into the center of Whitty’s palm. A sudden sort, slightly longer in duration that the previous, could be heard in response. Pump smiled and prepared to do it again when-

Quickly, it was soon followed by Whitty suddenly, bolting upright to emit an almost literal shriek before falling back clutching the couch in an attempt to not kick or struggle too much or hard, throwing his head back in absolute hysterics, his face a bright orange blush. Startled by the sudden reaction, he looked for Skid, finding him holding Whitty’s left ankle in a secure head lock, skittering his fingers along his sole. His other leg kicked out but, for the most part, hung off the side of the couch. There was a very evident struggle in the poor lee as he tried to keep from kicking anyone, or anything, out of reflex to the new found sensations. Pump smiled and, giving his hand one final raspberry, dove down to grab the other foot, giving it the same treatment as SKid was the left. 

“FAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!” Unable to form any coherent words or responses to this torment, Whitty was forced to just endure it, he tried to pull away, to break free somehow, but his strength had been dwindled down from earlier. Meaning, he was left to succumb to the maddening sensations at his feet. Throwing his head back as hysterical belly laughter poured from him as freely as a faucet. 

   “Coochie coochie coo~ Whitty! Heehee, your laugh is so loud!” Skid laughed, enjoying the reactions he was getting. “Heheh, yea! Especially when I do this!” Pump agreed, running his fingers under Whitty’s toes momentarily, earning a startled squeal before more peals of bellowing laughter followed. After what felt like an eternity, he felt their hands slow to a stop, releasing him and allowing him a breather. He had to admit, they were good at reading people, they must have noticed when he was beginning to reach his limit and had stopped just when he was really needing a break. He slumped into the couch, pulling his hood over his head, and pulling the laces so it closed around him, thus hiding the massive, practically glowing blush and face splitting smile there. Residual giggles and panting could, however, be easily heard. He pulled his feet away from them and bent his knees so as to tuck them underneath him best he could, his arms dropping onto the couch, going limp. The other 2 smile brightly. Yes, they had been keeping close watch. And both, the entire time in fact, had yet to hear him sound desperate or genuinely angry or upset. If anything, he almost sounded like he was enjoying himself. And the smile Skid could see through the small gap in his hood confirmed it.

   “Heheh, that was fun! We should do that again some time!” Pump giggled with glee, clearly pleased. “Yea! That was fun! Be right back.” Skid said, getting up and making his way to the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a glass of cool water in hand, handing it to the exhausted object head that rested on the couch. Whitty sat up enough to be able to drink it, losing the rim of his hood so he could so.

  “Hff hff.. Yohou both suhuck…” he panted, though both could tell there was no real malice in his voice. Upon being able to see his eyes, both smiled brightly. Why?

Because there was a glitter in them, one that reminded them of Keith, who was open about enjoying being tickled. Both could easily tell, seeing that glimmer alone, that he had enjoyed it. And Pump was the first to call it out.

  “Heh, I can tell you liked it, Whits! You look so happy!”

He paused for a second and gulped down that last mouthful of water before correcting the pumpkin head.

“I did not like it!” he protested. Though, the deepening blush on his face told them otherwise.

  Skid chuckled lightly, both still smiling brightly. “You go ahead and rest, Whitty, we’re gonna finish this round and make up all the lost time!” 

  As the 2 sat back down, recollecting the dropped controllers and continued playing, Whitty watched the screen closely as he grumbled to himself. That was humiliating! Taken down and rendered helpless by 2 measly children! Let alone taken down with only tickles! The ghostly after tickles were still there, but he ignored them, they weren’t as bad anymore and were tolerable. ‘But maybe….yea, maybe it… wasn’t so bad..’ he thought to himself, glancing down at the glass he had been given, now only half full. 

…

Yea, he would never admit it. But yea, maybe it was a little fun.

But still, he wasn’t gonna show it. Not by a long shot.

He sat up, a new idea forming in his brain and a smirk with a whole new meaning to it forming on his lips. Slowly he edged his way towards the other 2, setting down his glass and cracking his knuckles as he did. Pump glanced up momentarily to notice this before freezing entirely, his eyes wide and a nervous smile forming on his face as he did. His avatar began to slow down and Skid noticed, “hey, what are you slowing down for, Pum-....oh….heh...h-hello...” Skid looked over and noticed the predatory grin on Whitty’s face as he now towered over them. 

  “U-um, heheh…..bye!” Skid squeaked, dropping his controller on the couch, grabbing Pump’s arm and attempted to get off the couch, to make a bolt for it. But was stopped when he felt an arm wrap around him, pulling both him and Pump into the awaiting lap of the Bomb head above. Pump let out a startled yelp upon the sudden and deft swoop. Both looking up with anticipation and nervousness in their eyes and smiles. And a devious one in Whitty’s.

“Heh, where do you 2 think you’re going? Oh no, you 2 aren’t going anywhere..”  he curled his fingers to make faux claws, looming them over the 2 who now squirmed with anticipation. Oh, revenge was gonna be sweet! “Hope you two are ready, cuz you guys are gonna be stuck here for a long time.”

And he wasn’t joking. In fact, their squeals and laughter could be heard by pedestrians walking by for quite a while.

End!

Hope you enjoyed it! I am not sure of the quality of the end there. But still, hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading!

[electricbluebutterflies]

Hi!! Saw that promp list you reblogged, so I'm shooting my shot for Nina + Matthias with this one: 'Learning what the other person likes sexually' thank you 😊

(Also...idk if you'd accept 1 or 2 more requests for this otp? Loved the prompts but I dont wanna spam your inbox. 😜)

I kinda love them... obvious smut ahead and also on ao3.

She’s broken him. He’s not sure how much he minds.

Look, objectively the fact that he is stuck in the frozen middle of nowhere and owes his continued survival to a witch who will not shut up and seduced him more out of boredom than anything that seems like actual desire on her part is… almost all of his worst nightmares come true. But all of that established and ignored, Nina is not the worst possible person to be stuck with. She’s beautiful, occasionally funny in a way that breaks the cultural barriers between them, knows what she wants…

They’ve stopped for the night, no closer to civilization than they were when they woke up but not going around in circles yet – and he’s left subtle markings at each fishing hut they’ve temporarily occupied, he would know – and he knows what happens next, and this time he wants to do better.

Nina is, he has learned over the past few days, a very particular combination of insatiable and bossy. When she decides she wants, and apparently physical activities are how she deals with her everything, she makes herself very clear and pins him to whatever passes for a bed wherever they are. (Or, very briefly yesterday, a wall.) And while Matthias is a willing enough participant in his own corruption, he can’t push away the feeling that the power dynamic is the truly wrong thing here. A man is not supposed to be passive, even when faced with… all of that. But as it is, he’s not sure he’ll get the chance to change it up.

And sure enough, after an improvised meal of probably-undercooked fish, she reaches out. Puts her mouth on his and starts taking kisses, and he’s so powerless and so into it and-

“Stop,” he breathes, unsure if the word even comes out.

To his great surprise, she freezes. She’s still clinging to him, but not actively doing anything more. “You okay? Did I do something-“

“You need to rest,” he murmurs, adding a little endearment in his native language. Yep, she’s definitely corrupted him. “If you want, let me give.”

Nina rolls her eyes. “Are you sure?!”

“I need to learn how to do this… properly.”

The look on her face is the most amused horror he’s ever seen and oh he almost loves her for it. “I am not passive. You do realize that, right?”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t know… tell me what to do.”

She takes a step back. “Alright. How detailed instructions do you want?”

“Tell me how to make you happy.”

Nina takes another step back and shifts her body into an open position. “Alright. Undress me. You’ve seen how all of this works…”

He has, and he steps forward and tries. The buttons of her vest are so tiny, and of course she’d done up all of them, and it takes a frighteningly long time for his fingers to get them all undone. Then her shirt, also made challenging with the laces done up too tight and oh the sight of her curves underneath it is distracting and unfair and-

Somehow, he figures out all the knots and gets it off her, gets rewarded with the sight of her soft skin and pointy breasts. Even this would be enough, and he-

“Put your mouth… somewhere.”

If nothing else, Matthias is good at following orders. Even if they are given by a… no, at this point he doesn’t think she’s a witch. Not like he was taught to believe. Definitely not normal, but far more human than he expected.

Not that it matters, he reminds himself as he leans down and tries to kiss her breasts. She’s even paler there than she is elsewhere, and her body is warm and unfair. She squirms a little, but the noises she makes are happy enough and she hasn’t yelled at him so he’s hopefully not screwing this up too badly and-

On instinct, he puts his mouth around one of her nipples and licks, and her noises turn closer to what she apparently sounds like in bliss. He’s still learning how that works, but if this helps get her there…

“Okay, I was just going to have you straight-up fuck me but nevermind you’re actually good with your mouth,” she says, yanking on his hair to pull him up and off. “This still…?”

“Yes. Keep showing me.”

“I’m not showing you, I’m trying to un-repress you,” she laughs. “Undo my skirt and get me on the bed.”

He does, and without being told he knows what she wants next. Well, this may be the strangest experience yet with her, but…

The space between her thighs is beautiful, swollen pink instead of ivory, already shiny with her warmth. He pokes around with his fingers – this, at least, she has let him do before – and makes a plan. If he’s wrong then he’s wrong and he still expects she’ll get mad at him at some point during this, but until then he-

“Head. Down. Now.” From this angle she looks magnificent, and he can see her desperation in a different way. “Keep going unless I grab your ear, no matter what else I do.”

In the recent past, in the time before she happened to him, all of this was foreign to him. It was, and remains, improper for a man of his status to know too much about the sacred beauty of women before marrying one. In that way he is ruined now, and he cannot imagine any of this being so good with some equally innocent creature. This one is so much better. This one is-

She kicks his shoulder, more out of annoyance than wanting to hurt. “I know I’m cute but get on with it.”

He complies, pressing his mouth to her outer petals. He is well aware he has too much scruff right now, and that might hurt where she’s sensitive… no, might hurt some lesser woman, won’t make this one bat an eyelash. Nina is different and Nina is herself. And she is perfect, he thinks as instinct takes over and he starts to lick. Beautiful wet nightmare.

This is a first attempt, not perfection. His desire to make her happy counts for something, he hopes as he tries different things, because that’s about the only part of this in his favor. This act she’s suggested is so new, something he’s surprised she even wants, and to have his world reduced to her womanly parts is… perfect for him, honestly. He is aware of his own body responding to it, but she hasn’t asked for that yet and maybe she won’t tonight and-

As he is learning is normal for her, Nina falls apart with a few breathless noises. Apparently this also includes clenching her thighs tight enough his head hurts and more of her sweet warmth dripping onto his tongue. For a moment he’s not sure he can breathe either, and-

The pressure lessens and instead of grabbing his ear like she said, she pulls him up to her level by the shoulders.

“Did I… please you?”

She rolls over to cover his face in wet kisses. “You need to have more faith in your abilities. That was nice.”

“What… what now?”

“Do you still want to have me?” she asks, putting her hand between his legs.

As if that’s a question. Matthias has been able to ignore his own body until now, but the slightest touch makes him squirm and he’s still fully dressed and she is unfair and-

“Always,” he breathes. Might as well admit it. “Is that alright? You already…”

“Great thing about having the parts I do is I can fall apart multiple times,” she shrugs like that should be too obvious. “I am perfectly fine with it if you are.”

“Please.”

“Good. Undress for me and… I wanna see what you do.”

It no longer feels awkward to feel her eyes on him as he sheds his layers. Her expression is appreciative, and he’s never thought too much about what his body might look like to other people but clearly the only person who matters right now is into it. Years after her, he thinks, if there is an after her, he will always remember this as he looks at his skin. Impossible perfect woman almost making him happy.

And sure enough, as he’d both hoped and feared, his prick is in full form. And to think he’d expected it would hurt her the first time she wanted him. There’s no fear of that now, but a near-inevitability he won’t last long enough to give her what she wants and-

He looks at her, spread out for him and waiting, and he knows whatever he does will be enough.

Soft beautiful his, he repeats as he maneuvers his body over her. Perfect woman, as he lines up his prick. More than he had ever dreamed of, as he covers her.

She feels perfect around him, and he rolls his hips against hers and tries to find a pattern the way she does when she covers him and he is so sure he’s doing it wrong but she keeps taking kisses anyways so maybe not. Perfect, and he feels himself tense up and no too soon he hasn’t given her everything he hasn’t-

He falls apart anyways, best intentions be damned, boneless on top of her even as their bodies separate.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“Do I look like I’m complaining?”

No, he thinks as he maneuvers his body so most of his weight is off of her, no she does not. If anything, Nina looks the happiest he’s seen her, pink and glowing and content. “You look beautiful,” he says before he talks himself out of it.

“Good.” She shakes her head, her hair flying everywhere. “Are you… was all of that okay?”

She gets under his skin like no one else ever has, and he almost loves her for it and he is undone. “I don’t know if I did it right.”

“There is no right. Not with this. There’s only… what I like may be different from what some other person likes, and each time you’re with someone new you get to figure it all out again.”

“That’s not what I-“

“You made me feel good. As long as you felt good too… that’s the important part.”

And he did, he lets himself feel as they maneuver themselves into a comfortable position for sleep. Dangerous woman. He is ruined for anyone else now, and… maybe that’s alright.