#like. it was unbearable
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the irony of people being loud as fuck in the theater for a quiet place day one
#my blood pressure was through the roof i cannot believe how annoying people can be#talking texting moving the recliner up and down munching loud as hell slurping drinks#a phone even rang!! like fully rang all the way through & didnt get shut off!!!!!! what the fuuuuuck man!!!#no wonder movie theaters are dying people cant sit still for any length of time#this has made me go full hater mode#the movie was good though#i was starting to tear up at one scene and then the person in front of me stood up and went to the bathroom#like. it was unbearable#not a good movie to see in theaters anyway#subtitles would have been great lol
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.
Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!
Binghe is not happy about this.
But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.
When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.
While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.
Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#luo binghe: I don't know why the evil deity toys with me this much but as long as he is amused then he's not killing me#luo binghe: each day he lets me live is another blessing especially since I have no hope of escape#luo binghe: is it for some sick amusement that he drags me to and from the dens of monsters and feigns ignorance?#luo binghe: if I reveal that I know the truth will the ruse end? does he do this with all his sacrifices?#luo binghe: or is he toying with me because he knows that I'm not really a maiden at all? standing on this knife's edge is unbearable#luo binghe: and yet somehow this is the most stable my life has been ever since the death of my poor mother#luo binghe: the world is cruel -- perhaps if I become whatever it is this god desires I might be shielded from more of it for another day#luo binghe: wait I have heavenly demon blood? then... perhaps my dark master considers me a suitable companion thanks to this?#luo binghe: are we two companions in this wretched world? outsiders sharing scorn and thus only able to find solace in each other?#luo binghe: is this what it feels like to care and be cared for? it's been so long I had almost completely forgotten it#shen yuan: gosh these upgrades are getting convoluted I wish I had a skill menu or something#shen yuan: oooh neat a slime! easy exp!
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idiot baby kill credit fight
#drift#rodimus#transformers#maccadam#driftrod#kinda. its driftrod by proxy of me being the guy who drew it#mfw i become a casualty of war* and the dudes that killed me start arguing like its the worlds biggest cod lobby#*technically this wasnt a war related conflict but. the species wide kajillion year war is kinda related to. everything these guys do#EDIT: APPARENTLY THIS GUY LIVES LOL mfw i get stabbed thru the head and the dudes that did it argue like its the worlds biggest cod lobby#while i lie on the ground in unbearable pain. then get thrown in jail
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Twitter does fascinate me, because I feel like tumblr has been a lot more accepting of people who draw women with big boobs, who draw adult art on the side, and who aren't afraid of being sensual and intimate.
But twitter seems to be actively terrified of anything that could turn them on. For years I've been harassed for my art. Way back in 2020 I was called out for "sexualizing" Ankha, but this was the image they were referring to.
This fear of adult works and porn has to end man. Queer artists shouldn't be harassed or labeled as bad, untrustworthy people because they want to draw women with curves or big chests, or draw some NSFW art on the side.
#txt#im being serious but if i didnt need twitter to make income i would have deleted my account#the website has gone from annoying to unbearable#i decided to remove the apology about the discourse because honestly. i do feel like i should be allowed to vent in a space that is my acco#i will try to lessen it though
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Why are fandom discord servers some of the most stress inducing places in the world like why is it when you post anything into any chat it feels like either a) you're purposely being ignored or b) you've pissed someone off just by speaking. And it's such a pain in the dick because if you want any sort of help with anything or want to be even a little bit apart of a community you have to be in these servers. While the whole time it feels like that one meme picture of all the girls sneering at the camera because you dared show your face in there
#near unbearable and near impossible to find a fandom server that doesn't feel like being in high school#especially one fandom but if i say which i just know people will throw a tantrum because they can't handle seeing a negative opinion#and this isn't about mutuals or friends who'll see this it's about the hell that is fandom servers with more than 40 people in them#misc: salted#misc: personal#block those tags if you don't want to see this kind of post#greatest hits
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Watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent today and this was the exact moment I fell in love with this dumbass omg 😭
#the unbearable weight of massive talent#javi gutierrez#pedro pascal#im not sure if i loved or hated this movie tbh#but it was definitely something#will watch again just to see pedro pascal on his knees begging for his life ngl#im a simple gay man#i like my men wet sad and pathetic#something he is all 3 of in this shitshow of a film
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some doodles based on this fic by @roscolate ;w; because holy shit this tore me apart, my heart ached then exploded it's so good
#super mario bros#smb#mario and luigi#dreamyart#like... they are so soft it's unbearable IT'S UNBEARABLE#i also found this fic at a perfect time merry christmas (also life has been a bit of hell right now and sweet soft bros really healed me so#(so thank you basically is what i'm saying)#absolutely the softest mushiest bros i've ever seen my god i was in tatters when you said get some tissues i didn't listen and then i CRIED#i almost forgor weegee's little bruise i know by the end it's mostly healed but like Ah The Reminder Of My Failure As A Brother holy moly#holy cannoli. Holy ravioli#erm anyway this fic is awesome and sweet go read it NOW#(so are the other two bros fics she has! go! GO NOW!!! they're all so squishy!!!!!)#ficfanart
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e1a53db76e2646082dcf3fa97e962d14/add1af3685764e38-4d/s540x810/ec9272e7fae30116de327668ac1525ae5635505d.jpg)
But then…there’s Osha.
Osha, who leans into him in the shelter of a doorway from the rain on Jabiim, caught in bad weather while buying necessities. Without even thinking, like a reflex he’s had for years, he curls his arm around her, tucking her in close to his side and away from the rain as they wait for the downpour to subside. She inhales, sharp and quiet, the arm not pressed to his side reaching up to touch his coat.
They both look at eachother, a little shocked at their placement, and neither move to change it.
He smiles. It pulls at the corners of his mouth before he can stop it. He watches as her eyes soften, her weight settled comfortably against him, and she smiles too. Her fingers tangle in the fabric of his coat, like she finally had permission.
(she always did)
They both turn away as her cheeks flush, looking at the sodden sky as they wait.
(image updated because his hand was bugging me oop)
#the acolyte#oshamir#my art#I'm sick and the only cure is drawing these two being insufferably tender with each other#this fandom is making me write too that never happens#who else is obsessed with the accretion of their intimacy to unbearable levels AND ONLY THEN do they finally kiss#fixated on the idea of incognito oshamir treating their excursions like dates
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SPARE ME YOUR MERCY | EPISODE 8
#spare me your mercy#fivearchive#userpharawee#userrlana#userbon#userjamiec#userrain#kirustag#rinblr#asianlgbtdrama#clairedaring#bro the lighting in this scene was like actually unbearable to work with#but i love them so whatever#dedicated to claire who faithfully made gifs during this series run for everyone to enjoy. thank you claire
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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.
#text#fandom#aro#ace#aroace#aromantic#asexual#this became extremely obvious with Encanto - where the main message of the movie was ignored#and people were so desperate for shipping they started shipping background characters or even the family members....eugh#like at some point you must understand your inability to interact with media outside of a narrow romantic scope is an actual problem#at some point you need to accept you don't ACTUALLY like the media you're interacting with#like genuinely can you say anything else that you like about a piece of media besides the fact you want two characters to kiss?#genuinely i do believe the way some of you interact with things needs to change because it's made fandom spaces literally unbearable#also it has severely limited some of your guy's critical thinking skills#if you want content based around shipping then look at the romance genre it's literally right there for this very reason#shipping just needs to stop dominating fandom discussions and interactions. shipping should not be the main focus of every genre ever ffs#that or y'all need to literally start tagging your shit so that people can actually block it out and find the posts that they want to see
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I'm thinking primarily of headaches and menstrual pain, but could be also strains or sprains, chronic pain flare-ups, etc.
please put nuance and thoughts in the tags!
#asking because (for headaches and menstrual cramps) I am a take meds as soon as the pain starts girlie#because from experience it's only going to get worse and I'd rather head it off at the pass than wait until it becomes unbearable#but I know some people are power through it girlies#or like only take drugs when the pain is much worse than normal girlies#and idk what doctors actually recommend
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happy bird day to all who celebrate
#homestuck#dave strider#davesprite#idk I thought it would be funny to do bcus my friend is into homestuck so I got notified of this mans bday in a very timely manner#fanart#I hear davesprite is where its at#I tried to make it slightly unbearable to look at I think he would like that if he was real#hed appreciate the artistry
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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i just think nagi would love it if your hands run warm.
he's always reaching out to grab your hands in his like you're his personal handwarmer, and you're always teasing him that holding his hands is like sticking yours into a bucket of snow. he also loves it when you reach up to cup his ears (which are freezing cold, by the way) just so they don't fall off when the biting winter wind blows.
nagi loves how your hands run warm, until summer hits.
he's clinging to the little fan on the floor like it's a chilled bottle of water in the desert, and he whines when you press your hands on his back, making him sweat even more. he doesn't move away from your touch, though, and he doesn't swat you away. it's your turn to grab onto his hands every opportunity you get, relishing in the coolness of his palms to give you some reprieve from the muggy summer heat.
#this is so self indulgent because i have unbearably warm hands and i feel like nagi is the type to always run cold#blue lock#blue lock x reader#bllk#bllk x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi x reader#emma is thinking...
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
#HELLO back at it again#tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au#the division of labour is as follows:#dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song#if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long#pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses#he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life#cam does 98% of the actual cooking#trivia section -#you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading#cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam)#the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius)#and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first#*#dulcie septimus#dulcinea septimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#the locked tomb#field sketches#<< i get to have an art tag now!
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