#like. it was unbearable
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lakemichigans · 7 months ago
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the irony of people being loud as fuck in the theater for a quiet place day one
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inkskinned · 28 days ago
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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sunderwight · 7 months ago
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Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.
Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!
Binghe is not happy about this.
But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.
When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.
While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.
Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.
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newgroundstier · 1 year ago
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idiot baby kill credit fight
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idolomantises · 7 months ago
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Twitter does fascinate me, because I feel like tumblr has been a lot more accepting of people who draw women with big boobs, who draw adult art on the side, and who aren't afraid of being sensual and intimate.
But twitter seems to be actively terrified of anything that could turn them on. For years I've been harassed for my art. Way back in 2020 I was called out for "sexualizing" Ankha, but this was the image they were referring to.
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This fear of adult works and porn has to end man. Queer artists shouldn't be harassed or labeled as bad, untrustworthy people because they want to draw women with curves or big chests, or draw some NSFW art on the side.
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katsigian · 2 months ago
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Why are fandom discord servers some of the most stress inducing places in the world like why is it when you post anything into any chat it feels like either a) you're purposely being ignored or b) you've pissed someone off just by speaking. And it's such a pain in the dick because if you want any sort of help with anything or want to be even a little bit apart of a community you have to be in these servers. While the whole time it feels like that one meme picture of all the girls sneering at the camera because you dared show your face in there
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hostilecandle · 26 days ago
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Watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent today and this was the exact moment I fell in love with this dumbass omg 😭
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dreamyluigi · 2 months ago
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some doodles based on this fic by @roscolate ;w; because holy shit this tore me apart, my heart ached then exploded it's so good
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tourmaline-dream · 5 months ago
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But then…there’s Osha. 
Osha, who leans into him in the shelter of a doorway from the rain on Jabiim, caught in bad weather while buying necessities. Without even thinking, like a reflex he’s had for years, he curls his arm around her, tucking her in close to his side and away from the rain as they wait for the downpour to subside. She inhales, sharp and quiet, the arm not pressed to his side reaching up to touch his coat.
They both look at eachother, a little shocked at their placement, and neither move to change it.
He smiles. It pulls at the corners of his mouth before he can stop it. He watches as her eyes soften, her weight settled comfortably against him, and she smiles too. Her fingers tangle in the fabric of his coat, like she finally had permission.
(she always did)
They both turn away as her cheeks flush, looking at the sodden sky as they wait.
(image updated because his hand was bugging me oop)
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nuthong · 2 months ago
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SPARE ME YOUR MERCY | EPISODE 8
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cosmicredcadet · 11 months ago
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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.
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emperorclaudiusofficial · 4 months ago
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I'm thinking primarily of headaches and menstrual pain, but could be also strains or sprains, chronic pain flare-ups, etc.
please put nuance and thoughts in the tags!
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happy bird day to all who celebrate
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napping-sapphic · 1 year ago
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
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isagispuzzle · 2 months ago
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i just think nagi would love it if your hands run warm.
he's always reaching out to grab your hands in his like you're his personal handwarmer, and you're always teasing him that holding his hands is like sticking yours into a bucket of snow. he also loves it when you reach up to cup his ears (which are freezing cold, by the way) just so they don't fall off when the biting winter wind blows.
nagi loves how your hands run warm, until summer hits.
he's clinging to the little fan on the floor like it's a chilled bottle of water in the desert, and he whines when you press your hands on his back, making him sweat even more. he doesn't move away from your touch, though, and he doesn't swat you away. it's your turn to grab onto his hands every opportunity you get, relishing in the coolness of his palms to give you some reprieve from the muggy summer heat.
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tiffanyachings · 1 year ago
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
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