#like. being trans and doing as much as going into a LOCKER ROOM is this fucking mess of fear and discomfort and frustration

[butterfly-ribbon]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[autistpride]

AUTISM ACCEPTANCE

Teacher AU from April's prompts by @wolfstarmicrofic

Wordcount: 998

Remus had been waiting for this day for years. Nearly a decade, but the waitlist was seven years long and he was low on the priority list because he wasn’t in a mental health crisis and had a somewhat stable home and job situation, but after nine years, he finally got the calls.

Remus first began to suspect he might be autistic when he began teaching. Remus taught at the primary level, year one, and all of the students in his class were autistic. He related to his students and seemed to understand them on a level most of the other teachers could not. He spent his own money changing his room up, buying sensory tools and various items. In the end his students thrived and Remus was so proud of them.

As the years passed, Remus gained a reputation for being quirky, odd, and a bit too into the fandom for the book series he was into. But despite being a bit of a “loner” and not developing much of a relationship with his coworkers, Remus was beloved by his students and as a result, their families.

Remus set up his assessments during the half term, or tried too, but his final meeting was during a school day and that was unfortunately unable to be rescheduled due to the psychologists busy schedule. 

Remus explained to his students the day before his appointment that he would not be at the classroom Friday morning. He would be at a doctor’s appointment and they would have a substitute teacher until lunch time. Naturally they had questions, as all curious children do.

“Mr. Lupin, are you sick?”

“No, Hermione, I’m not sick. Just a meeting.” 

“Do you promise you’ll be back at lunch time to get us from the playground?”

“Yes, Harry, I promise. I will be standing at the side ready to collect you from the playground at the end of your break.”

“Do you have a baby in you?”

This one caused Remus to snort. “No Ron, I don’t have a baby in my belly. I know you have a little sister coming soon though huh?” Remus asked the boy who beamed and nodded. 

“Are you going to die?”

“No I am absolutely not dying, Draco. You don’t have to worry. You are going to be stuck with me all year!” Remus said in a low tone crouched down and wiggling his fingers like a monster.

This caused a bout of giggles from the young children and Remus chuckled before helping them pack up for the day.

Friday morning he rose early, packed everything he needed for the day, and rode the bus the hour to the city. He sat and listened as the psychologist explained he did in fact meet the criteria for autism and after years of waiting, he was officially diagnosed. The psychologist explained that it wasn’t uncommon for trans males to go undiagnosed their whole lives because many doctors were biassed against females as well as people of colour. They kept asking if Remus was okay, if he was upset or needed any support because they knew that hearing this information was a lot. 

But Remus just felt relief and peace. He finally felt like it all made since, his whole life

The bus ride back to the village Remus teared up as he texted his best friend Lily that he got it and she replied instantly with many hugs and heart emojis and then a message saying that she knew he would and that she was proud of him.

Remus walked from the bus stop to the school and buzzed in through the staff entrance in the back with his badge. He placed all his stuff in his locker in the staff lounge, made sure his badge was the right way on his lanyard, and made his way to the enclosed play area where his students would be.

Slowly, one at a time, his students noticed his arrival and ran around finding the other classmates to tell them that he was there. Then without warning they screamed and ran over to him, tackling him with hugs, causing Remus to laugh as he hugged them back.

Soon the students were all lining up to go back into the classrooms, but Remus was confused, the substitute wasn’t there. He asked where Mr. Black was and Luna said that he stayed behind because he had something he had to do in the classroom since Mr. Lupin would be there to get them. Remus was confused and puzzled because he had prepared all the materials for the day’s lessons and there was nothing that needed to be prepared during the lunch period. 

They made their way back to the classroom in a line, Remus walking backwards like a professional at this point, directing his students in their songs for things like planets, continents and oceans, and skip counting as they walked. They entered the classroom one at a time ahead of him and when he turned to walk through the doorway he froze.

His entire classroom was decorated for a party, his students sitting on the reading rug holding onto little drawings. In the back, Sirius held up a small cake. “Congratulations!” written on the whiteboard in Sirius’ beautiful loopy cursive. 

Remus’ hands quickly covered his mouth in surprise as he looked around and took it all in. “Oh,” he whispered.

“Class what do we say to Mr. Lupin?” Sirius asked with a cheeky grin.

The entire class erupted into screams of “ONE OF US! ONE OF US!” 

Remus threw his head back and laughed despite the happy tears that welled in his eyes. 

Remus had never felt confident before in his life. Never felt like he actually fit someplace before until now. 

And if he bit his lip to try to hide his smirk and raised his eyebrows at Sirius when he had Sirius’ number in his phone after years of pining, well who could blame him. 

[exyrpf]

Do I even want to know what happened in the last 24 hours 😭 I'm almost afraid to ask but I'm also insanely curious

You probably don't want to know but I'll tell you because you have no choice. This will be long and...awful. But there are sources so that's fun! Please keep in mind that this was all released within 24 hours on Thursday, September 20th, 2024 and that, unfortunately, I haven't mentioned everything.

But! The GOP was certainly having a wild one yesterday.

To start things off:

The first 'Big News' to break was about Mark Robinson.

For those saying 'who the fuck is Mark Robinson', he's the current (R) Lt. Gov of North Carolina that is running for Gov. Before yesterday, he was best known for openly hating LGBT+ and Jewish folks, being a Holocaust denier, being (forcefully) anti abortion, saying it was better when women couldn't vote, anti immigrant, hating the civil rights movement, etc, just being a hateful Evangelical nasty fascist. MAGA to his core. Trump has endorsed him, saying he should be cherished and calling him "MLK on steroids". (Robinson is Black).

So, yeah, that's bad enough right? Yesterday it got even worse. CNN released a report about some comments he made on a porn site forum 12 years ago, the most prominent being 'i'm a black NAZI'. He also commented that he wished slavery was legal and that he'd own a few, and called himself a 'perv' that used to 'peep' on women in public locker rooms when he was a teenager.

Also the tale as old as time that I'm sure you could guess when I mentioned 'GOP' 'loudly transphobic' and 'porn site scandal' - trans porn was a favourite of his. Because of course.

Also of course - the GOP hasn't taken him off the ticket, and he will continue to be the nominee for governor in North Carolina!

Read the article, there's more about him and the situation in general. Mind the warnings.

-

Now on to our favourite worm brained bear eating anti vaxxer conspiracy theorist, Robert F. Kennedy Junior! I'm putting this under a read more now.

The first thing to drop about him yesterday was the news of an investigation after he allegedly cut off the head of a dead whale and took it home 20 years ago. Now I bet you're thinking, wow that's bad! Unfortunately for RFK Jr yesterday got worse. It was then revealed that he (70) was having an affair with right wing journalist Olivia Nuzzi (31) after New York Magazine suspended her.

Everything I learn about RFK Jr I learn against my own will.

-

Saying goodbye to RFK for now, let's move on to Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida! This Matt Gaetz, with the botox if you didn't recognise him.

Scary lookin, right?

This isn't a completely new story (here's an article about how he alledgedly paid for sex with a minor) but new court filings were released yesterday alledging that he attended a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the alleged sex trafficking scandal.

Sure is great to have such trustworthy men representing this country!

OKAY, on to the next.

-

This wasn't really breaking news because this is just Trump being Trump but he gave a speech at an ANTI ANTISEMITISM EVENT where he preemptively blamed the Jews for being the reason he'll lose this election, telling them they need to get their head checked if they vote for Harris (that's pretty much part of his stump speech by now though) and saying he'll reinstate his Muslim ban. White fascist blaming Jews? Wow, I did Nazi that coming.

-

I genuinely could go on, I really truly could.

Oh! Kamala Harris went on Oprah and it was really nice and not at all insane and she talked to the family of the first known victim of Trump's abortion ban and it was very touching. Trump's official social media then posted a clip of her talking about her gun and saying 'If somebody breaks into my house, they're getting shot' like it was a snatch when in reality Republicans in the comments are saying 'actually, this would make me vote for her'. Thanks, Trump Team for the free advertising!

Misc:

Chris Rufo (known racist and anti immigration right wing activist) got revealed to have an illegal immigrant wife, and then got revealed to be a user of Ashley Madison (database where people go to cheat on their partners)(Robinson was also on Ashley Madison).

Jasmine Crockett during her thing and ripping white republicans to shreds. (idk this was just fun to me)

Actually Republicans and Project 2025 got ripped to shreds and shut down in general by multiple Congress members.

GOP is on the brink of causing a government shutdown, because of COURSE they are.

Cards Against Humanity sues SpaceX over “invasion” of land on US/Mexico border.

Anyway there's actually MORE believe it or not but I can't remember if it happened yesterday. Thank you for reading, I'm always open to discussing current events. I don't think it's a well known fact that I'm into politics because I don't talk about it on tumblr because people are kinda stupid. Anyway!

[molsno]

I have such complex feelings about danganronpa but the treatment of chihiro fujisaki still remains a major sticking point to me.

I've had several different interpretations of the character over the years as my relationship with my gender has evolved but after all these years I feel like I can finally mourn the way she was treated as a trans girl.

it's just... heinous. kazutaka kodaka is so transmisogynistic in his writing that it's sickening to even think about. how am I supposed to feel about the fact that his work has touched my life in such a major way? I'm still talking about danganronpa over 10 years after I first got into it. but an unskippable, major, and early part of the story of the first game makes it clear how he thinks about people like me.

the text of the game is vile. along with the other students, she's threatened with her deepest secret being revealed if nobody murders one of their classmates. she has to face the fact that she's going to be forcibly outed to her classmates in the worst way possible. after she's killed out of jealousy for her bravery by mondo owada, who at the very least has the decency to move her body from the boys' locker room to the girls' to protect her secret, her body is groped to "confirm" that she's a "boy", she's immediately misgendered by all her classmates, and monokuma tells everyone her backstory in a way that totally disregards her actual feelings.

chihiro is not a boy. she doesn't ever claim to be one, except in school mode, which crucially, is explicitly not canon and wasn't even present in the original release. the only reason why anyone, in-game and in the fandom, believes that she's a boy is because of transmisogyny and because of monokuma's explanation. is he the type of character that you should trust, though? not only is he willing to forcibly out a trans girl, this is a pattern of behavior; the mastermind controlling monokuma later threatens to out juzo sakakura as gay as blackmail in the dr3 anime.

when I view the actions of chihiro fujisaki, I can't see anything but a trans girl. she has a severe inferiority complex, cries easily, lacks confidence in herself, hesitates to spend time with cis girls due to a fear of being ostracized for who she is, and heavily latches onto anyone who treats her respectfully (as seen if you do her free time events). and then she's thrust into a horrible situation where she could be killed at any moment, and then given 24 hours to try and come out on her own terms before monokuma does it for her in a way that explicitly misgenders her. she wants to become someone strong, someone who can stand up for herself and fight back against bullies like monokuma who don't respect her gender, but she doesn't get to do that on her own time. she still tries, though, and for it, she's killed.

it's just... tragic. what else can I say? she's yet another example of transmisogynistic tropes in media, but she feels personal to me in a way that few other such characters do. I've always loved chihiro a lot, even when I was younger and couldn't quite put my finger on why.

I don't think I would terribly mind her death if kodaka was a better writer. if danganronpa actually made use of all of its seemingly largely unintentional anticapitalist potential, if it touched on systemic issues such as transmisogyny with tact and respect (for example, if the other students respected her identity and opposed monokuma for repeatedly misgendering her), her death would still be upsetting, but I could accept that.

she just... deserves so much better.

[micamicster]

Super Rich Kids

Close my eyes and feel the crash...

I wrote this one on post-its on a trans-continental flight after my phone (where i was re-reading the raven cycle) died. 0/10 plane experience would not recommend but I did manage to entertain myself! And now hopefully you as well!

When Ronan pulled into Monmouth Manufacturing he knew Gansey wouldn’t be there. Adam Parrish was, though, sitting on the steps in the golden afternoon light, bike dumped to the side in dying grass. He didn’t so much as flicker an eyelid when Ronan bootlegged the BMW into an approximation of parking on the far side of the lot, which was fine because that’s how he would have parked the car anyway, whether or not Adam was here.

Ronan was pretty sure that Gansey had arranged a shift system with the other boys, to prevent Ronan from being unaccompanied on the rare occasions of his own absence. The idea of a babysitter should have rankled Ronan, but Adam did not seem particularly invested in his role. Small favors.

As he got out of the car he gave Adam his customary once-over, as brief as it was habitual. You could notice a lot in a single glance, if you were Ronan, glancing at Adam.

Adam was wearing long sleeves (his father? Or just because it was October?) and his faded camo pants, the ones Ronan said made him look like a jingoistic meathead. They had recently acquired a tear in one knee. Not in the stylish, deliberate manner in which Ronan’s own jeans were shredded, but awkwardly, in an L-shape, where they had caught on some jagged edge and given way before even careful Adam had noticed and unhooked himself. The tear gaped open at times, like it was doing now, revealing Adam’s knobby left knee and, worse, a triangle of his brown thigh.

Ronan looked away.

Ronan never allowed himself, even in dreams, to trespass beyond the carefully demarcated boundaries of Adam’s clothes. And Adam was usually helpful in the maintenance of this boundary. Unlike Gansey, who could be found working on his model Henrietta in boxers at all hours of the night, or wandering to and from the shower in a towel, absent-mindedly forgetting his clothes in bathroom or bedroom. Unlike the boys Ronan played tennis with, who stripped down casually in the locker room after practice. Unlike even Ronan himself, who’d never met a shirt he couldn’t rip the sleeves off; Adam was always fully covered.

This summer, foolishly, Ronan had imagined that this might change. Now that the hideous secrets Adam protected with his long sleeves were no longer his alone. But by now he knew what kept those sleeves in place, something that Adam had already understood: that knowing and seeing are two very different things.

For example: this. Ronan knew that Adam, like most people who walked around on earth under their own power, possessed thighs. Two of them, attached in the normal way to other body parts, such as knees and hips. To know this was one thing.

Now that he’d seen it, he couldn’t stop seeing it. The way his knee bent, and the muscle above shifted as Adam made room on the steps for him. Ronan was looking away, out at the familiar, grounding, skid marks on the concrete of Monmouth’s lot, but he could picture in their place with deadly accuracy the hinge of Adam’s knee, the tanned skin of his thigh, scattered with golden-brown hair. He could dream about pressing his face against it.

He picked up a rock and hurled it. It glanced off the side of the soulless suburban and fell anticlimactically into the grass dying by the rear tire. It didn’t help.

Adam shifted next to him, subtly.

“What?” said Ronan. “Impressed?”

“Surprised, more like. I thought you were supposed to be the tennis star.”

“You think you can do better?” Ronan pried another hunk of gravel or concrete out of the dirt and tossed it in his left hand, tauntingly.

“I know I can.”

“But?”

“But,” said Adam, with some hint of exasperation coloring his voice, “I’m not going to sit here chunking rocks at Gansey’s car to prove it. My ego’s not that fragile.” His accent slipped out on chunkin’, not as if Ronan had pissed him off enough to forget to hide it, but as if it was a word he’d never used any other way.

Ronan threw his rock again. This was, if anything, a worse throw than before, and it skittered harmlessly across the suburban’s roof.

Adam made a small but contemptuous noise.

“Don’t give me that shit, man. You know he hates this fucking car.”

“That was for your shitty aim.”

“Come on then.” Ronan hefted another piece of gravel. “Ten points if you knock out his taillight.”

“It costs a hundred and five dollars to replace a taillight on that make and model. Plus tax.”

Ronan’s brief cheer was collapsing again. “I’ll pay you a hundred bucks to bust Dick’s lights.”

Adam blinked slowly, his dusty eyelashes obscuring the contempt in his eyes for a brief moment. “I’ll leave.” (He wouldn’t).

Ronan dropped the rock. Next to him Adam sighed. Abruptly, he put out his hand. “Telephone pole. Six feet from the top.”

Ronan swept back up the rock and dropped it into his hand. Their fingers did not touch. His heart thudded.

Adam tossed the rock once, testing its weight while his gaze, cool and assessing, remained on the telephone pole. It was a splintered, tilting thing, shamed by his attentions. In one smooth, economical movement, he rose to his feet and let the rock fly. His leg went forward, knee jutting out of his clothes, his back curved, and his arm swept around in an arc, fingers scraping at the blue October sky. Ronan didn’t need to turn his head to know if the rock hit—he could see it in the brief hard satisfaction on Adam’s face.

Adam turned back to him, one eyebrow cocked.

“You��re going to have to do better than that if you want to earn that hundred,”

Adam shrugged. The gesture was disinterested, but there was a quirk to his mouth that contradicted it. “I know nothing blew up, but…”

Ronan already had another rock in his hand. “West corner lightbulb. It breaks or it doesn’t count.” Adam rolled his eyes, but turned agreeably to watch Ronan miss.

“Would you like to get your tennis racket?”

“Eat me,” said Ronan. (Maybe).

They traded shots back and forth for a while, calling increasingly specific and complex plays.

“Bullshit. Bullshit.”

“Get the government to pay for some glasses, Parrish, and then come back and try to tell me that wasn’t a fucking bullseye—”

“It wasn’t even close! You—”

“You calling me a liar?” Ronan loomed, and Adam, as usual, was unimpressed.

“Just because you don’t lie doesn’t make you right all the time! Like when you said that quote on Tuesday was Seneca. It doesn’t stop being Martial just because you’ve got a child’s sense of morality—”

“See, right there.” Ronan pointed triumphantly at an invisible scuff mark on the doorsill, marking where his handful of gravel had made impact.

Adam gave it a skeptical glance. His face was faintly flushed from exertion in the cold air, but his eyes were as cool and considering as ever. “What we need,” he said, “is a knife.”

Ronan was not allowed knives.

~

“Are you trying to stab each other in the feet? Why are your shoes off! It’s October!”

“Equal playing field.” Ronan wiggled his toes against the cold asphalt. “Parrish’s shitty knife is no match for my boots.” Over Gansey’s head, Ronan tried to catch Adam’s eye, to share a ‘can you believe him’ sort of look. Adam’s embarrassment over being caught acting irresponsibly meant Ronan could expect the look to be rebuffed, but he couldn’t help himself from trying it anyway.

Adam was bent over, eyes hidden. He carefully dusted off his socked feet one at a time before sliding them back into his shoes, as though the socks or sneakers could look any worse. A little parking lot crud might improve their appearance, actually.

Next to him, Gansey was still fussing. Without the pressure release valve of eye contact with someone who knew Gansey was overreacting, Ronan snapped, “Come off it, man, I’m not going to slit my throat while Parrish watches. He can’t afford that caliber of snuff film.”

Gansey’s concern transformed into revulsion, but underneath it he looked hurt, which was far far worse.

Adam straightened up. “We were just using it to mark where we hit. Honestly, we could have done it tossing a sharpie, but neither of us had one.” He sounded conciliatory, which pissed Ronan off. But Gansey was letting it go, returning the knife to Adam with an apologetic smile. Sorry for the fuss. Sorry for Ronan. Ronan’s bare feet were cold against the asphalt.

“Well? Are you going to throw or not, Parrish?” he said belligerently.

Adam rolled his eyes, but obligingly stooped for gravel and let one fly at Ronan’s open bedroom window, a shot he made easily.

Gansey whistled. “You’ve got quite the arm on you. How come you’re not on the Algionby baseball team?”

Adam shifted his feet, awkwardly.

“Please,” scoffed Ronan, “he’s not a team player.”

Gansey did not let it go. “Bet you’d have a better fastball than both our pitchers.”

There was a pause, during which Adam’s face clearly showed all of the thoughts he was trying to corral into a polite response to Gansey’s unconsidered enthusiasm. Ronan got there first. “Yeah, Parrish, why not hitch your wagon to the star of organized sports, like every other rags to riches wannabe?”

“Ronan!” said Gansey, Ronan’s offensiveness registering where his own had not.

“Hitch my wagon to a star?” Adam was unruffled. “I thought quoting Transcendentalists could get you excommunicated.”

“Who said I know it’s Emerson. It’s a sourceless idiom to those of us who aren’t sad little nerds.”

Adam smirked. The smirk said, I never said Emerson. His words said, “Gansey’s damning me with faint praise. No one’s going pro out of an Algionby sport team. Even tennis.”

“Ouch,” said Ronan, cheerfully. “Hit me where it really hurts. My school pride.”

~

Now that Gansey had arrived, his plans for the day took precedence over noble pastimes such as flipping pocketknives at each other’s feet. His plans involved comparing readings from various instruments and then placing said various instruments in various new locations, all of which were equally arbitrary (to Ronan’s eyes) and inaccessible. Gansey’s plans involved him waiting by the car to monitor the readings while people hiked with antennae to the outermost reaches of the signal. People, in this instance, being Ronan and Adam, Noah having mysteriously and silently fucked off, as he so often did when a job required carrying anything.

Ronan put his head down and trudged. It was brambly here, and slightly damp, and he was beginning to work up the kind of counter-intuitive sweat that appears from working in the cold, the kind that makes you colder later.

As the person leading the hike, custom would dictate that he should catch and hold the long clinging arms of the brambles for the following hiker. This presented a dilemma. Ronan compromised, and set about stomping the multiflora into the ground as he walked. Scarlet hips burst under his feet, invasive and beautiful, spreading their millions of seeds across the damp earth. Noxious weeds.

“It’s too unreliable,” said Adam, into the silence. “Sports. It all depends on… your physical condition.”

“And your condition is shit.”

There was Adam’s ironic smile. “Yes. So.” He shrugged. There was the part they weren’t saying, which was that his physical condition could always get worse. Unexpectedly.

“My dad hates baseball.” Ronan heard himself make the slip—hates and not hated—and a spark of fury burned through him, brief and inconsequential.

“My dad loves it.”

They marched on in silence.

Adam swore as a bramble Ronan had beaten down sprang up again, catching him right across the tear, where his skin was exposed. He bent to unhook it from the camo with deft, deliberate hands. “What?” he said, like he could feel Ronan’s eyes.

Ronan looked away. “Why not the military?” He kicked purposelessly at the bramble and heard Adam sigh. “And don’t tell me you never thought about it. Test scores like yours out in hicksville high school, you must have had recruiters hopping all over you like fleas.”

“Would you believe I had a moral objection?” Adam’s smile was self-deprecating. Ronan studied it.

“No.”

Adam shrugged. It, too, was self-deprecating.

“I think you had a superiority objection. You think you’re too smart for that shit.”

Adam blinked at him. “Do you think I’m wrong?”

Ronan snorted. “Hell no. You can do better than getting blown up in a desert for the United States government.”

The smile, when it came, was small and stunning. “Damned by faint praise again.”

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Locker room?

Summary:Your trans and don't know which locker room to go to

Type:Scenario:Class 1A & FTM!Reader

Version:Mha

~

At first, you figured you didn't think it'd be a problem. But when you saw the actual locker rooms you panicked.

"...ah, shit"

The girls' and boys' locker rooms were directly across from each other, and there weren't any bathrooms nearby. The closest one was all the back by the classroom, and then some, that'd take too long. But you're a boy, right? Yeah, the class sees you as a boy, you go change in the boys' room. But what if something happens? You gulp and look between the two locker rooms. Yes, you have an under shirt on, but you don't have a packer, and since the activity has something to do with gym you'd have to take your binder off, or maybe you could keep it on? No, that's not safe... but it'd work. No, no, don't keep your binder on. People have said to just wear two sports bras. But you didn't have two sports bras on you, especially since you didn't think your class would be doing this one the first day. You start to panic, gripping your binder through your shirt. Before you could panic to much a hand landed on your shoulder, alittle startled you turned around.

"L/n"

It was Mr.Aizawa, your teacher.

"M-Mr.Aizawa, hey...."

He didn't look to pleased.

"Why aren't you changing?"

Even though he's seen your school record and has seen the F on it. He still looked towards the boys locker rooms.

"O-Oh, I-......um, it's just...."

You looked down at the floor, and he sighed, pointing down the hall from which you guys came.

"Go change in the bathrooms, it's the first day, not many people will be in there. And hurry up, I won't wait forever"

Your face lights up and you nod.

"Yes, sir! I'll be quick"

After he told you that, you'd always change in the bathrooms, and at some point, Mr.Aizawa gave you the key for a staff bathroom so you wouldn't have to worry about students. And yes, he let the other staff members know about this so you wouldn't have to worry about being yelled at. It was going great and really easy until it started getting later in the year, when you started befriending your class. It was Denki started it.

"Yeah, and did you see what Kirishima did? He was like,"

Denki then turned to you and did his best impression of Kirishima, which made you laugh.

"He looked nothing like that"

You laughed some more before you realized you were standing in the boys' locker room, you gulped, but Denki didn't notice.

"Yeah, probably, but he still did that, didn't you Kirishima?"

Kirishima was clueless to what was happening.

"Huh? What happened?"

Denki stared at him for a moment before explaining it to him while you stood there frozen before walking to your locker, which luckily was by Iida and Shoji, so you'd be fine from Mineta.

"Ah, hello l/n. I have yet to see you in here"

Iida didn't seem to mean in harm in that, but it made you worry.

"Y-Yeah, I've been using the bathroom before changing, so you guys probably finish changing before I can back"

Iida let out a small 'ah' before nodding and turning back to his locker. You sighed and slowly took off your blazer, looking down at your brief case you panicked slightly. How were you gonna do this? Your hero costume purposely had many layers, so you could hide your chest without a binder, but now you were surrounded by boys. You looked between Iida and Shoji before noticing the privacy curtains. Your eyes lit up, but Mineta still worried you. You gulped and grabbed your brief case, which had your hero costume in it. Walking into one of the open curtains, you closed it and quickly got changed. Walking out, you notice the majority of the boys are still in here. You sigh and sit down infront of your locker to put your shoes on.

"L/n!"

You jump slightly and look up at Denki, who appeared in front of you. Giving him a small 'Mm?', telling him to continue he crouched down to your level.

"So, me, Kirishima, and Sero were all planning something for later. And wanted to know if you'll come with us"

You looked a little confused, especially when you noticed Sero and Kirishima staring at the two of you.

"Uh, s-sure, what are you planning?"

Denki stared at you for a second before snickering.

"Don't worry about it, we'll come get you later, so just get ready once you get home."

Denki left with a wink and finger guns before walking over to Kirishima and Sero, giving them what looked like an okay as the two got excited and sent thumbs up your way. You were clearly confused but brushed it off. The next day at school, you were pretty tired. The three boys had made you come with them and practically dragged you around the city doing random shit with them. Apparently, it was because Mina and Bakugou said no, so you we're their next choice. When it was time to change, you stretched for a moment before someone grabbed your arm and started dragging you, not literally.

"Sorry about the boys, Kaminari probably dragged you around alot"

Looking at Mina, you laugh slightly.

"Yeah, but it wasn't just him, Kirishima and Sero too"

Mina huffed and pushed open the doors to the girls' locker room, making you go through the same panic, just a little more calm than in the boys' locker room.

"Those three....welp, at least you got some cool stuff, right?"

She turned to you, and you gave a smile and nod. She seemed happy with that answer and let you go. Looking around for your locker, you noticed Jirou looking at you confused. You just shrugged and pointed at Mina. Before walking over to your locker. Which was next to Momo and Tsu. You felt a little more comfortable changing in the girls' locker room, but it still changed in the privacy stall. None of the girls seemed to care that you were in there. Some of them, like Uraraka and Jirou, were a little confused, but nothing else. This started becoming a pattern. If you were talking to one of the girls or boys, they'd probably drag you into the locker rooms. Bakugou and Todoroki wouldn't, though, probably because they don't talk to you a lot, or it's because you don't talk to them either way they won't drag you into the locker rooms. It's weird, and even Mr.Aizawa caught on to this weird pattern. It only stopped when you were one day walking with Mina and Denki. The three of you were to deep into a conversation to even realize. Cause the moment Denki grabbed your arm, so did Mina. They both walked in two different directions, confusing you and tugging at your arm. The two of them looked at each other and stared.

"Guys....."

They didn't seem to hear you.

"What are you doing?"

Mina looked at Denki confused as she said that.

"Taking L/n to the locker rooms, what are YOU doing?"

Mina was quiet before looking at you.

"The same thing..."

The two looked at each other before giving one another a stern look.

"But L/n is a dude"

"L/n is a girl"

They were practically in sync, turning to look over your shoulder. You looked at Jirou and Kirishima, who were standing behind you guys, not too far either. Giving them a pleading look and mouthing a help me, before you suddenly got pulled hard by Denki.

"No, l/n is a boy! I've seen the stuff!"

Mina yanked you as well, making it alittle difficult for Denki.

"No...cause I've seen the stuff to!.....wait...how have you seen the stuff? L/n changing in the privacy stalls"

Kirishima walked over and pryed both their hands away as the two continued to argue.

"Uh... there's been times when he didn't change. I'm the privacy stall, so....yeah"

Kirishima looked heavily confused and Jirou was holding in her laughter.

"He did?"

Denki looked at Kirishima. And Mina pushed Denkis shoulder slightly.

"See! You haven't seen the stuff"

Denki huffed and turned to Mina.

"Well...you haven't either"

You ended up sneaking off to the bathrooms, leaving Mina and denki to try and figure it out by themselves. Near the end of the day Mina and Denki were standing in front of the door, preventing you from leaving.

"L/n!"

They both said at the same time, their loud voices caught the attention of most of the class. You gulped and took a step back, you were pretty sure you knew were this was going.

"So, we've talked, and asked some of our classmates, even some over students, and...no one had a solid answer."

Mina had a weirdly stern look on her face as she spoke.

"Yeah, so....what are you?"

You stared at Denki and gulped, this wasn't thr conversation you wanted to have infront of the class

"Yeah, I'm curious too, how comes you get to go into the girls locker room?"

Of course it was Mineta. You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck.

"I usually change in the bathrooms for this reason exactly....but I'm a guy"

Minas face dropped, and Denki laughed.

"SEE! SE-"

Denki stopped and looked at you. Now he was confused.

"Then....why do you also change in the girls locker room."

You looked down and rubbed the back of your neck.

"Do....Do we have to have this conversation infront of the whole class"

You didn't think the class was even listening, until you heard some of them talk.

"I think you should, since I'm sure everyone here is wondering the same thing"

Iida....why'd you have to say something. You sighed and looked around the class room, everyone was looking at you.

"Hurry this up, I don't want to be stuck here"

Bakugou grumbled next to you, which made you jump. You didn't even know he was there. But thinking about it, you've realized how messed up it actually sounds. It'd be best to just tell them. You take a deep breath in, even though it was more shaky then anything. Looking at the ground you finally spoke.

"...I'm trans....that's why"

Denki didn't seem to get it, but you heard a few signs of relief from behind you.

"Thank god that's what it is, I thought for a second there you were some creep like Mineta."

You looked at Sero, almost horrified by his remark, but he's got a point.

"I'm right here ya know"

You sighed.

"Sorry... I didn't want it to seem like that. I just kinda panicked and instantly go to the privacy stalls"

Lucky, no one seemed to care you were trans. And actually supported you, but after you said that Bakugou huffed something along the lines of 'you damn extras always wasting my time, blah blah blah' something like that.

~

[A/n:This was alot longer than intended 😅. I hope you enjoyed]

[scarlivings]

sometimes i hate being transfem, because even if i find hope to look pretty on the outside, my insides are still so viscerally ugly and there's literally nothing anyone can do to clean them. i go to gym class, see that pretty emo white cis girl and think "if i don't look like her soon i'll harm myself." i open youtube, see a fellow trans girl who passes as cis and think "why can't that be me?" i feel like i'll never get there, and even if i do get there, the process in between will open even more bullshit for me to deal with. i'll spend years looking like a jarring compromise, two faces overlapping like the local58 sleep video. i won't be able to pick a bathroom, clothes, etc. whether i pick boys or girls. and even other trans people will mistake me for a fetishizer or mockery of some kind, i'll look like a shitty caricature drawn by some twitter blue checkmark neonazi, hours spent on nails and makeup falling apart upon the slightest regrowth of my beard.

when i'm older and shapeshifting in real time, i'll have to worry about just barely putting myself together, hoping somebody from afar doesn't notice my beard clashing with my eyeliner and try to physically attack me. i see a trans guy complain about getting weird stares or getting mistaken for a child and think "he has it so much easier." and i know it's wrong, and it makes me scared of unknowingly being a bigot with a fetish or something. i wish my constant paranoias were as small as "i hope nobody asks for my id!" instead of "i hope nobody curb stomps me for having a slightly deep voice!" carrying my phone in public with the google search result for 911 in the background in case this ever happens, covering my camera with my paw at all times so nobody thinks i'm some pervert taking creep shots of them.

my gender dysphoria manifests as the culmination of every toxic, two-faced cishet white locker room gossip girl i've ever encountered, chastising me for not fitting the unrealistic standards they impose on themselves. everything about me is so masculine. my personality is so typical of a teenage boy, wasting hours in video games, obsessed with music. completely ignore the fact said music is experimental noise made by trans women, because that makes my taste a trans stereotype, which is even worse for me. nobody will take me seriously as a girl if i'm just like every other trans girl. i'm already a lot like every other trans girl, i have that chronically online sense of humor, the interests

my build is too manly, too blocky, certainly not curvy. everyone says i'm average weight but my stomach still looks bloated when i lie down. i was built to be some professional sports player, that's what everyone says, which totally isn't racially motivated! and on that topic, racial stereotypes exaggerate my masculinity even further. black traits are considered stereotypically unattractive and masculine, even on cis women. and you know what's especially masculine and a black stereotype? being this fucking angry.

sometimes i hate being transfem.

[arizonaaaaaa]

GLEE LGBTQIA+ HEADCANONS- HAPPY PRIDE MONTH PART 2

11- Mike Chang- pansexual

-Goes with my Tina hc, he falls in love for who the person is, not how they are

-really supportive of Tina when she came out

-his father wasn’t supportive at first so Tina had to interfere again but now his cool with Mike

12- Matt Rutherford- gay

-he had a crush on Mercedes before he realized he actually likes guys

-I like to think him and Mike met again in university and they dated for a bit 👉👈

-he had so much potential😭

13- Jesse St. James- bisexual

-not calling Jonathan Groff a bad actor but not even for a second I believed this man was straight

-he was totally into Finn back in season 1

-bi4bi4bi St. HudBerry throuple?

14- Sam Evans- bisexual

-do I have to explain why?

15- Lauren Zizes- pansexual

-I mean, girl slapped Tina’s and Brittany’s asses while singing about what she knows what boys like

-she really deserved to stay in season 3, this 👆 is the only fruity scene she has😭

-her and Tina being goth girlfriends tho

16- Blaine Anderson- gay and trans

-canonically gay

-him being trans is not a unpopular headcanon surprisingly

-I don’t know why but this just makes so much sense

-I don’t have a lot to wright here, not the biggest Blaine fan out there

17- Sugar Motta- lesbian

-crazy how she radiates lesbian energy, like all woman surrounding her just becomes sapphic

-she has the biggest crush ever on Santana, like really, this girl was legit staring at her boobs in 3x04

-she and Unique are girlfriends I don’t make the rules

18- Rory Flanagan- gay

-“you now I wish I was Jessie’s girl”- Damian McGinty Jr on The Glee Project

-this was my Roman Empire

-totally had a crush on Finn and totally was flirting with Sam on Christmas

-Flanevans🔛🔝

19- Joe Hart- questioning

-he is a christian teenager of course he’s queer those are the rules

-not only that but he’s also on the glee club

-I think he never knew his identity, his parents always told him he was going to marry a woman someday so he thought that was the pattern…

-…until he saw Sam shirtless in the locker room

20- Dave Karofsky- gay and Bear

-canon

-in my opinion, as a gay man, he’s the most well written lgbtq character on the show, his story is perfect

- @starpawedart opened a universe of Karofsky ships for me, thank you king✊

-he out of all people deserved a happy ending

-anyways, kurtofsky 🔛🔝

-OMG I FORKGOR HOS ALSO CANONICALLY A BEAR IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE BEARS, BEARS I LOVE YOU ALL❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[im-not-a-l0ser]

(this is a genuine question and I really hope this doesn't come off as rude)

why do you ship Max X Richie?

Isn't Max the bully?

The simplist answer? I want them to be happy, I think they can be that for each other.

More complicatedly though. Max and Richie have a report that Max doesn't have with anyone else; not his other victims, not his friends, not even Grace really. (Not to mention if Richie is trans, that means flick-its do nothing, but who knows if Max would know that.)

On top of that, Richie is the mascot, which means Max is tolerant enough of Richie to not only be okay with him attending games, but cheering them on, sharing the locker room, and most of all, putting up with his over-active sweat stink.

I pretty much disregard anything Max does after death. I don't really feel like that's him. Well, okay, him having sex with Grace, that's him. But that moment right before that, him fighting between killing Pete and fucking Grace? That's his contaminated ghost fighting with his established soul. In my head, Waylan Hall basically tainted his being. It took his last words and was like "Okay, fucking bet." And Max was kinda... depressed. It takes 2 weeks for Max to start killing because that's when Max realised he had no one who cared about him. That's when he gave into the evil.

In addition to all of that, there are the headcannons that accompany the ship that makes it better. Most commonly is probably childhood friends, which I love a lot. The idea that they were friends growing up, but that ended like. When Max's mom disappeared and his father got aggressive, or simply they drifted and then the bullying spread to Richie due to the groups he started running in post-max.

I like secret relationship quite a bit, or secret friendship. I think they have the capacity to accept each other if they open themselves up to it. Oh, not to mention, the way Richie speaks of Steph's interest in Pete reeks of projection. I like that observation in combination with childhood friends, since it means Richie's friend didn't care enough to keep him close through their social drop— or maybe even Richie told Max he liked him, and Max also liked Richie, but said they couldn't be anything because of his horrid dad— but Steph is risking a lot to go out with this random nerd.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hi, I'm trans (ftm) and in a week I'm leaving for 2 month long camp. I was assigned to sleep in the girls cabins but have switched to th boys. Does anyone have any tips for a trans boy sleeping in the boys cabins for the first time? Also for reference I'm 14 years old.

Lee says:

I would advise you to speak with the camp staff or counselors in advance, if you haven't already, and make sure they understand the situation and fully support having you sleep in the boy's cabin and also do all of the other activities with the boys, if that's what you want.

You don't want to have to deal with any last-minute surprises like finding out they're re-assigned you back to the girl's cabin or plan on having you change in the girl's bathrooms instead of a private gender-neutral or male space after you're at camp, so you gotta get all of the details ironed out in advance.

That includes making sure you've thought about what you're comfortable with in terms of bathrooms, changing spaces, locker rooms, etc, and how you plan to handle things like binding or packing (and cleaning STP packers), how you plan to manage your period if you have a period, and whether you plan on coming out to your bunk-mates (and, by extension, to the whole camp because you can't assume everyone will keep your secrets) if you aren't already out to them.

It isn't safe to wear a binder 24/7 for two months so you presumably will not be binding at night when you're in the boy's cabin which means at some point over the next two months at least one boy in your cabin is likely to see you without the binder as you get ready for bed at night and get out of bed in the morning, even if you try to avoid it. If you don't mind that, or don't bind anyway, then it's not a big deal, but it's something to consider because it can make it harder to stay stealth if that is something you had hoped to do.

Make sure you have a plan for your menstrual supplies if you use any, and bring enough of them to have some back-ups. Think about what is going to make you feel the most comfortable, whether it's pads, tampons, menstrual cups, menstrual discs, period underwear, etc, and then think about the logistics of it-- disposing of used pads or tampons in the men's bathroom or bringing bags so you can wrap it yourself and carry it to another trash to get rid of, how you could discreetly wash a menstrual cup or period underwear in the men's bathroom, and so on. Don't bring anything to camp that you haven't used before-- this isn't the time to bring a single menstrual cup only to find the size you got isn't comfy for you!

Overall, the largest piece of advice that I'd have is to just be yourself, and be friendly to others. Take the opportunity to get to know your fellow cabin mates better if they aren't already your friends-- they could be the ones who either stand up for you and have your back if some other student gives you trouble, or they could end up being the source of trouble if they feel uncomfortable with you and/or are transphobic. You don't need to be best friends with all of them, but don't be a wallflower and ignore them either, and try to be reasonable even when they're not.

You might encounter curiosity or questions from your peers about your gender identity and body. While it's entirely up to you how much you want to share, being prepared with a simple and confident response can help navigate these interactions smoothly.

Respect the privacy and boundaries of your cabin mates, just as you would expect them to respect yours. Establishing mutual respect early on can contribute to a harmonious living environment. Even so, living with other folks means you may have disagreements and friction over things like how messy your space is, how late people stay up, etc, especially when you're living together for two months, so be prepared to stand up for yourself but also remember to try and be a problem-solver and take a minute to cool down before you get into a fight and learn to let some things go.

As always, remember that you have the right to be there and to feel comfortable in your surroundings. If you encounter any challenges or need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out to a trusted camp counselor or staff member. They are there to support you and ensure that your camp experience is positive and safe. If someone does cause drama or is bullying you or is transphobic etc, don't be afraid to snitch! You gotta take care of you.

All that being said, I don't have a lot of experience with this type of situation myself-- I went to a week of school sleep-away camp in 5th grade and 6th grade but that was before I came out, and the next time I went to a similar sleep-away camp thing was a brief experience in college, so I was a young adult and had been on T and had 2 of my 5 surgeries by that point and I only needed to share a room with my partner. I would like to encourage our followers to add on with more tips if you have relevant experiences and can help anon out! And anon, when you come back from camp, please do share any life-hacks you've picked up with us to help the next young trans camper out!!

Followers, anything to add?

[dtmsrpfcringe]

So i want to ask something about the LGBT Awards and the whole thing about DT and KB even tho it was 2 weeks ago. So im not British and as someone who has their whole support on LGBT+, when i first saw the speech DT did, i looked at the things KB said before because i didnt know much about her, and i saw the thing she was doing is being against Trans Woman using Public Woman places. DT said in his speech that anyone can live like how they want to live ( which i agree) unless they bring any harm to anyone. But just like it happened in jails, some people would bring harm? And i know that there is a Trans Woman using Public Woman places argument because woman will feel uncomfortable for example undressing in a locker room with there being a person with a biological male body. And i dont think this is about Trans people at all, its about biological differences, its not about that person being Trans or not, it doesnt matter. The thing that matters is the unsafe situations that this may lead to. I dont like KB myself. So does this mean that woman not feeling safe in this sitiuation doesnt matter? I mean isnt it putting people in danger, not from Trans People but people that might take advantage of this? How can you trust someone you dont know? I was just confused and wanted to ask i dont want to offend anybody, Love you all 💗

i feel uncomfortable in locker rooms no matter the agab of the person getting dressed, but that doesn't mean I get to tell people they can't be there when I am. A sign on a bathroom door isn't going to stop someone from sa'ing. The man that sa'd me was a conservative Christian man who did it under the eyes of my family. This argument is just used to demonize trans people and it's goddamn ridiculous.

[mommybard]

honestly i think trans women in general have the biggest right to (and the most respect for) setting firm boundaries with cis men. while im a cis* dyke, my bff is a trans woman and she has told me how little respect she has for them as class (not about man as a gender identity) because of what, to quote "I heard them say when they thought there were no women listening". and as a lesbian i've experienced the shit they want justified, because "if a lesbian agrees with me its actually fine right?" (no it isn't, you're being gross) tldr, personal boundaries with intimacy isn't sexism, its just boundaries

mad respect,

-🐝dyke (byke, if you will)

*born a woman, gender is lesbian, but i use she/her pronouns so i say cis because its easier to explain

The number of times when I was an egg and before I came out that I heard cismen say absolutely HORRENDOUS shit is too damn many. I grew up in Texas and I played football, and that locker room talk was fucking horrible. And the coaches don't bat an eye at it, they're all for normalizing it with "Boys will be boys" nonsense. And yeah, co-signing that personal boundaries bit. Kink can be a place where you feel very vulnerable, where you're exploring yourself and what you enjoy and finding things out about others. It's okay to set up who you do and don't want to feel that way around. Especially since, and I think I've posted this before or used it in a response to some other anon, but like most kinky spaces online cater to or are VERY welcoming of cismen, specifically heterosexual ones. I'd argue that most porn or smut is filmed/written with them as the target demographic with the shots/descriptions. So to complain that there's a spot that isn't catering to them, that has boundaries is just...why. You already have so much. Go enjoy that shit. Don't come here and bitch at me cause I said I don't want to deal with you in an emotionally vulnerable place.

[velvetvexations]

This video is something I've thought of posting about before. It's extremely emotional to me. To give you an idea of some of the lyrics, my favorite is:

Can you show me now that I will not be killed in vain? Show me just a little of your omnipresent brain Show me there's a reason for you wanting me to die You're far too keen on where and how, but not so hot on why

Mm! That sure is a mood! It's one of those dramatic moments in a film where a character screams outside a church demanding to be told why something has to happen but it's literally Christ himself doing it. He felt that way too.

There are a lot of amazing productions of JCS that do this number really well and bring out the pain and anger I'm currently feeling perfectly. But in this particular performance, what gets me so much isn't the Park Eun Tae as much as it is the reactions of the crowd.

In South Korea, the number of Christians is relatively small, but still significant. Can't really know if any of the audience here is Christian or not. You can't really know that of the audience to any given production in the US either, of course, aside from the chances being much higher. Regardless of the country, with any clearly emotionally affected individual watching who the camera catches and lingers on like this, there are too options:

They are Christian, and they are ran through with the suffering of Christ, not just the physical pain itself but the absolute horror, confusion, and fury Jesus felt knowing it was coming.

They are not Christian, and though the song is based on actual scenes provided in the Bible,* this is very likely the first time they'd ever heard of Jesus not stoically going to the cross cool as a cucumber, and even if they think this is just a subversive twist on Jesus's concept it's still managing to hit them in a way that comes close to connecting them with who Jesus actually was a as a person beyond his role, which JCS in general is very much all about. They may not be interested in Christ beyond seeing a really cool work of fiction based on artistically interpreting holy texts they don't subscribe to, but even so, in this bubble of time and space Christ's suffering is sitting in their hearts and moving them to tears.

I have an interest in how people process this song because it was a description of Jesus experiencing all suffering, which includes all queer suffering, that made me break down sobbing last year and come to the conclusion that there was something in Christianity that connected with me** even if I belong to no church. I had been doing research for a character when I came across this:

In Gethsemane, Jesus experienced the pains of a person dying of cancer. He experienced what it is like to be a queer kid who is constantly bullied. He experienced the birthing pains of every mother who ever lived or would live. He experienced the embarrassment of a gay boy having an erection at the sight of his school crush in the locker room. He experienced conversion therapy. He experienced rejection. He experienced the brutal physical and psychological attacks that trans women endure.

It actually goes on quite a lot longer than that, but it's at that point where going to find it just now for the sake of copying here that I once again launched into uncontrollable banshee wailing and had to take a moment to collect myself before continuing with my eyes stinging and my throat sore.

So like, Jesus, right? He was consumed with fear and anxiety, knowing the the pain still to come. He was trembling with bitter rage at the inhuman cruelty of God's plan, the only assurance being that it was God's plan. It's how I feel right now, harder than ever. I feel that connection with Christ and I am comforted only slightly, but I am comforted all the same.

*He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

**1/5th of this multiple system; one is Christian, one is Hindi, one is an anti-theist, and two are non-committed

[boatem-probler]

It's Triple Feature Night in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / You Are Here! / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

There are THREE days in this report, because I was speeding through them so I could get to the Lizzie Episodes. Also Grian isn't in most of these ones, he's too busy being locked in the basement dungeon.

This report contains mentions of: slavery "jokes", death, violence, blood, stalking, sexual harassment.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

ALL HAIL THE MOON LORD

This Time...

Episode 16 – BUY A TAURTIS!

I’m just gonna cut right to the chase – Sam is doing a full-on master-slave roleplay thing with the Taurtis clones, and it is not played as fetishy at all, even jokingly, it is really just. Slavery. It’s a whole thing. It’s not funny. The whole episode is sort of about it. Sorry.

Anyway, there are now four Taurtises, the new one is Taurissa. And there’s a Taurtis626 in the chat now? Coming back to this later because I think I figured it out. Taurtis00 found a sailor fuku in a barn and changed her name to Taurissa00. Trans rights. Taurtis69 is still Taurtis69, not the one who exploded, a different one. And Taurtis626 just showed up overnight. Everything clear now? Great!

Anyway Taurtis seems to be attracted to Taurissa.

Sam claims to not know where Grian is.

On the way to school, they find Jerry in the park. He’s another Taurtis clone, but sort of wall-eyed. Also he types in a manner that makes it clear he is meant to be stupid in an ableist caricature way.

Sam tries to auction off some of the Taurtis clones at school. Jamberite asks which ones are good for experimenting. I have no idea what is meant to be up with her.

Oh Geode’s smile is even wider now. But at least his eye is back.

Anyway he and Dr. Nurse MD each buy a Taurtis, before Señor Loro comes in to bust things up. Everybody scatters.

Except Nurse MD. Who apparently has DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE?? Señor Loro is talking to him like he’s an alcoholic. Eventually Nurse MD relents.

Anyway. The chupacabra fucking Got Tori. Sam chases him out of the school. Everyone goes back to the classroom to poke Tori’s head with sticks. Señor Loro walks in on this. He tells the class not to tell anyone this happened, because they “don’t have insurance”. He goes off to find a substitute teacher.

Sam and Taurtis decide that Jerry should be the substitute.

Episode 17 – JERRY THE TEACHER!

Jerry teaches the class about JerryKats. They are made out of Jerry and Cats, apparently.

“This is the most I’ve learned since we’ve been at this school, to be honest.” – Taurtis

Dr. Nurse makes Taurtis put on a sexy nurse outfit. He says he wanted to make Grian wear it. He also says it’s his fetish. Oh god and now Kurokuma’s here WHY. There is a limit to how much of this one guy on the internet can take, you know.

Anyway, basically, the “lesson” is Dr. Nurse MD letting this creepy old man harass Taurtis in front of the class.

After class, they run into Jorje the goat, and attempt to warn him about the chupacabra, but he’s more interested in flirting with Jerry. Señor Loro shows up and “confiscates” Jerry.

Today is swimming day in gym class! Time to see if all those Taurtis clones are still in the pool! They are not!

Episode 18 – TAURTIS IS DEAD!

They all go into the locker room to change. In Taurtis’s locker there is a note. Written by Taurtis. That he doesn’t remember writing. It says:

Taurtis is freaking the fuck out.

Taurissa claims she can’t get in the pool because she is having a baby.

Igbar is just having a great fucking time swimming.

In Professor Geode’s class, Sam and Taurtis attempt to glean clues from Geode’s behavior to help them figure out if Taurtis is really a clone. Unfortunately, Geode’s behavior is rather erratic, because today is Teacher Inspection Day!

Geode has prepared an entire decoy classroom that he hurries all the students into before Señor Loro shows up. Geode is suddenly wearing a chef’s outfit and pretending to be a teacher called Mr. Dayman. Señor Loro is completely fooled, much to Taurtis’s chagrin.

Then they all go back to Geode’s actual classroom, where Geode confirms that Taurtis is, in fact, a clone. But he’s also constantly backpedaling and trying to deny the existence of clones outright, and Taurtis is clinging onto this.

Geode takes a blood sample from Taurtis by hitting him with a knife.

They run into Jerry after school, who says that “the goat” is dangerous and scary.

Episode 19 – TEACHER CHUPA!

It’s a new day! Taurissa made salmon for everyone. Taurtis tries to eat a cactus. Taurissa explodes. Jerry takes this as a sign that their time has almost come and they’re all doomed. He says their “expiration date” is near, and they need an “antidote” that Professor Geode made. They figure they can ask Geode about it at school.

Outside, Jorje is trying to find Jerry. He’s also wearing a school uniform now. Sam and Taurtis tell him that Jerry expired while Jerry sneaks out the back door.

Jorje is already in the school lobby (lobby? Do schools have lobbies?) when they get there. He’s talking to the chupacabra, who is wearing a suit. He’s the new teacher. Unclear if Jorje recognizes him as the chupacabra, but Señor Loro definitely doesn’t.

The boys go to Geode’s classroom. Geode’s smile, somehow, is Even Wider now. He also disappears mysteriously.

The bell rings, and it’s time for Mr. Chupa’s class! It’s a History class, apparently. Also, the classroom is full of candles and cushions arranged in a wonky circle with a dead-looking bonsai in the middle of it, so I’m sure nothing weird at all will happen in this class.

Mr. Chupa leads the class in a meditation exercise. The meditation is mostly about Goats. Also Sam and Taurtis accidentally tell Jorje where Jerry is hiding.

Episode 20 – DR NURSE MD!

Nurse MD has decided to dedicate this class to teaching his students why they will all be terrible parents. They’re doing the thing where everyone has to take care of an egg, but in pairs, and also they’re encouraged to try to break other people’s eggs.

The eggs are actual Minecraft eggs. You can imagine how this goes.

Taurtis626 explodes at the back of the class and Sam literally Does Not Notice.

Jerry is pretending to be a potted plant.

Dr. Nurse MD literally has to come out into the hallway and GET THEM because none of them noticed Taurtis626 exploding. He just walks up and asks them to explain why his classroom is covered in blood. It's the funniest fucking thing.

They rush to Geode’s class again, where he very slowly tells them about the antidote. Taurtis69 explodes (again). The bell rings and Geode refuses to tell them anything else, because they need to go to gym class.

The gym teacher isn’t there. It turns out that Señor Loro hired Jerry as the replacement gym teacher.

Episode 21 – GEODE’S DUNGEON!

Jerry is having some difficulties controlling the class and fending off Jorje at the same time, so nothing has really been done by the time the bell rings.

Taurtis hurries them along to Geode’s class, because he can “feel his innards bubbling”.

Geode announces that the class is going on a field trip, and will be playing a game on the way there called “don’t get caught by Señor Loro”. They get caught by Señor Loro as soon as they step outside the school. Geode quickly puts on a ginger fake mustache.

Geode takes them to the dump, and tells them whoever digs the most will get a prize! Taurtis is convinced Geode took them to the dump because that’s where the antidote is.

Sam: “I mean, I really doubt he cares, at all.” Taurtis: “We’re his creations, Sam, of course he cares about us!”

Sorry Taurtis but I think I’m with Sam on this one, actually. Sentences I never thought I would say.

Taurtis immediately falls down a hole. At the bottom of the hole are, apparently, “a bunch of heads”. Sam jumps down to see. The heads don’t appear to be from anyone we’ve seen, but they sure are a bunch of heads.

Meanwhile, Igbar finds a “demon sword”.

Dom gets angry about everyone destroying his home, because apparently he lives at the dump now.

Taurtis continues to ask Geode about the antidote. Geode tells him that the antidote is “safe at home” in his vault.

Sam tunnels into Dom’s house, which is inside a hollowed-out trash heap.

Sam and Taurtis sneak out of class to break into Geode’s house. They bring Dom with them, because Dom is good at parkour and would therefore, they reason, also be good at breaking and entering. They also pick up Jerry on the way.

Geode’s house is very mad scientist-core, it’s got the beakers, the metal floors, the big test tubes, the whole shebang. The test tubes are each labeled “Test Subject [number] – Failure”. There’s also another container labeled “Samples of Taurtis’s Garbage”.

Taurtis opens up a manhole cover on the floor leading to a basement with At Least One Skull in it. Sam and Dom go down the ladder on the other side of the room. Taurtis is stuck in a cage. They all work to break down the cage door while Sam and Taurtis argue over whose fault this is.

Taurtis: “You know I love jumping down mysterious holes.”

They unlock a door in Geode’s office with a lever from their house that Taurtis had in his pocket. Inside is a block of coal labeled “The Perfect Taurtis”.

They go down a different ladder into a larger basement. There’s a big door with a bunch of levers next to it and a sign reading “Secret Taurtis Gloop Vault – password: 1”. There are also more Taurtis clones, and one Dom clone for some reason? They’re theorizing it was the milk. None of the Taurtis clones are moving, but the Dom clone is. He’s Dom3 according to the chat. They break him out. He and Dom immediately start flirting with each other.

Sam inputs the password into the vault and the door opens, revealing chests full of “Icky, Sticky, Taurtis Gloop”. Taurtis drinks a bottle. Jerry isn’t looking too hot. Geode has arrived to “take care of his children”. They all hide behind various Taurtis clones.

One of the clones apparently wants to take Geode on a date. Geode responds, “Why, of course, Chosen One”. So, that’s a thing that’s happening I guess.

Geode notices the gloop vault has been opened. Everyone bolts. Geode’s house is connected to a train station, so they’re able to hide there while Geode runs past them. Geode yells that he is going to inform his superiors.

Jerry doesn’t feel so good. Taurtis gives him a bottle of goop. Jerry’s head swells up, but nothing else happens. Apparently he was able to hold the explosion in, like a sneeze.

Back at home, Taurtis wonders if he has a number, and figures out by typing in the chat that he is Taurtis2.

STAR WARS SPECIAL!!

Since Pug already covered these episodes in this post, I don't focus too much on what's actually happening moment-to-moment, but more so the little details and the things related to the ongoing Tokyo Soul, uh, "plot". So my "summary" probably won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't either read Pug's summary or watched the episodes yourself.

You know, I had assumed the Star Wars Day Special would have been posted on May the 4th, but no, it was posted on January 19th. Is this like one of those “Christmas in July” things?

Taurtis claims that “Grian used to always make us breakfast”. Not sure when this is meant to have happened, since they rarely eat on screen in either series, from what I’ve seen, and also they’ve been in Tokyo for Exactly One Week by my count, but maybe this is just one of those things where one of these kids will just fully make something up about another one of them.

Grian: “Do you know what he did???” Taurtis: “He’s done a lot of things…”

This is the funniest possible description of Sam to me. He’s done a lot of things.

Grian doesn’t know who Jerry is. He says he heard a bunch of Taurtises talking and then he “kinda went to sleep for a while”. He was there when they rescued a bunch of clones from the pool, so he knows about the clones, but the last time there were more than two Taurtis clones in the house was Yesterday Morning, which sort of implies that Grian has been Depression Napping for at least an entire day. Just thought you guys might want to know that.

Grian also asks if Sam named Jerry that because of “what happened to me”. This Kills The Man.

Grian has a very blasé reaction to being told that Taurtis is dead and the one walking around with them is a clone, but I guess there’s a lot going on in his life.

He also doesn’t really react to hearing that Tori was killed. I guess even if she was a pretty reasonable person they still didn’t do a whole lot in her class.

Taurtis wants to join the Stormtroopers because they’re all clones.

Just wanna point out that they’re learning to use the Force from the chupacabra. How the hell did the chupacabra learn how to use the Force?

Sam lost the egg he was supposed to be taking care of for Dr. Nurse’s class and goes looking around for one to “borrow”, which means we get to see inside Igbar von Squid’s locker! He has emergency breathing helmets, a gun named “Humie Hunter”, some raw fish, and some kind of crystalline thing named “Hyooman Souls”, so that’s interesting.

Okay why does Dr. Nurse suddenly want Geode dead I wasn’t under the impression he was part of this plotline. We’ll see if that actually sticks around past this special I guess.

Dr. Nurse: “Boys, I am trusting you, with all of my idiotic heart.” Taurtis: “There’s your first mistake.”

It’s occurring to me that aside from a couple remarks about not wanting to be in a cramped closet with him, Grian’s venom towards Dr. Nurse is still mostly about his intelligence/teaching skills. Which, like, makes sense since Grian wasn’t there for the whole… nurse outfit thing. But it’s still a little disconcerting to me.

Not sure why Geode is Jabba the Hutt suddenly, but okay. I mean. Star Wars Special is why, but. You know what I mean (I don’t even know what I mean).

Mr. Chupa fully eats a student. Will it last? Vote now on your phones.

Theory: everyone is being pushed by some cosmic force into playing the role of whatever Star Wars character they’re dressed as. Wouldn’t be the strangest thing that’s happened in this town. Definitely wouldn’t be the strangest thing that will ever happen in this town, we haven’t even gotten to Cthulu yet.

Also all the stormtroopers are Taurtis clones. Sam and Grian kill a bunch of them in the process of climbing an AT-AT.

We’ll also have to see if the principal stays dead after the special because they kill him too, because he’s Darth Vader or something.

They shove all the Taurtis clone Stormtroopers into the basement dungeon. They find Taurtis69’s diary in the process, which reveals that he dug the room out himself, and then later on Jerry decorated it. Sam goes inside to see for himself and Grian locks him in. Happy ending!

No Trauma Count This Time Because Pug Already Took Care of That

Something I'm thinking about. Taurtis is unavailable: Grian and Sam fuck around in a superstore for a couple episodes. Grian is unavailable: huge personal revelations. Out-of-story, it feels weirdly like Grian is still being considered as a "guest" character even though he's been on the show for a while now.

In-story though. Taurtis is Important, it's Important that Taurtis is There. But it's not quite as Important that it be the same Taurtis the whole time. In Sam's mind in Yandere High School, and now in the narrative itself in Tokyo Soul, there just has to be someone present who can fit in a Taurtis-shaped outline.

Idk. I'm Chewing On It.

Next Time... LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE

[vintage-bentley]

"Other crime rates do not show a specific class that is particularly in danger." Where are you getting that information? Your gut feeling? Because when I look up who gets assaulted in bathrooms unusually often, "trans identified" adolescents are a class that is particularly in danger of sexual assault in bathrooms, particularly if they are 'sex restricted.' https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31061223/ "The 12-month prevalence of sexual assault was 26.5% among transgender boys, 27.0% among nonbinary youth assigned female at birth, 18.5% among transgender girls, and 17.6% among nonbinary youth assigned male at birth. Youth whose restroom and locker room use was restricted were more likely to experience sexual assault compared with those without restrictions, with risk ratios of 1.26 (95% confidence interval [CI]: 1.02-1.52) in transgender boys, 1.42 (95% CI: 1.10-1.78) in nonbinary youth assigned female at birth, and 2.49 (95% CI: 1.11-4.28) in transgender girls. Restrictions were not associated with sexual assault among nonbinary youth assigned male at birth.

Conclusions: Pediatricians should be aware that sexual assault is highly prevalent in transgender and nonbinary youth and that restrictive school restroom and locker room policies may be associated with risk." I can't imagine why, though. What happened to their privilege? Why can't those strong 'trans identified males' just knock the other boys out? They're built for violence and there's no misogyny aimed at them, so they should be fine! "There's homophobia aimed at them, when we fix that, this will be fixed." And your efforts towards making that happen are truly inspiring. "Doesn't matter, just because you're at extra risk doesn't mean we should be!" But we're at risk *from you.* Do you get that? Do you get how black men who get lynched for 'raping white women' are, in fact, victims of white women? Do you get how "I am your natural victim and you are my natural predator" is in fact a dangerous narrative even when there are shreds of truth - because they inevitably ignore the larger picture?

I agree that trans identifying people, just like any people who don’t conform to what is expected of their sex, are at risk of targeted violence. But the solution is not to look at another oppressed group (women) and say “hey, you know those protections you fought so hard for? You’re going to have to give them up to help this other group that includes male people who frequently talk about how much they hate you”.

If there is a problem with violence against trans identifying people in sexed spaces, then I will once again argue in favour of mixed-sex spaces becoming more common, in addition to single sex spaces.

Also, I don’t understand why the trans community was so focused on saying “you need to accept the opposite sex into your spaces” instead of tackling the clear problem here: people not accepting members of their own sex who are different. Men need to learn to accept trans identified males as their fellow men. Women need to learn to accept trans identified females as their fellow women. And until that happens, unisex spaces can be advocated for to keep everybody safe.

And another thing I don’t understand: you say that you’re at risk from “us” (I’m assuming that means people who don’t identify as trans). So why do you want so badly to be in our spaces? Trans identified males say that “terfs” are their biggest threat. Yet they want to be in women’s spaces with us. Why is that? Every other oppressed group has worked hard to create spaces away from their oppressors.

Two things can be true at once: trans identifying people face violence in sexed spaces, but the solution is not to force women to give up our own protections. There needs to be a compromise that is made, instead of expecting women to bend over backwards and obey the trans community’s every demand.

Black men being lynched due to accusations of rape from white women was not because of feminists understanding that men are our oppressors, it was due to racism. Stop using that as a talking point to shut women up when we acknowledge that men as a class, regardless of race, have been and still are responsible for persecution and violence against women.

[seedsinmygarden]

Coming Out as MTF Trans To HLC

As someone under the nonbinary-transgender umbrella (I'm still figuring it out), I hoped to bring the coming-outs to life in the way that it should happen. You are the best you that you could be, and I see you. I'm so proud of you.

Word Count: 667 words

Tags and Warnings: Fluff, some angst, mentions of transphobia.

--

OMINIS GAUNT: He doesn’t quite understand right away thanks to his upbringing, but after some explaining and educating, he has a solid grasp on it! Gladly accepts MC with open arms, and tells her that if she faces any transphobia, he can get those students expelled before they can blink.

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: He’s talked to Sirona about her experience in coming out when she was younger, so he understands how daunting it feels. Sebastian reassures MC that she is safe with him, and will clock anyone that disrespects her.

AMIT THAKKAR: Amit is curious and will ask questions as respectfully as possible, and he’ll end up going on to read about others’ experiences in hopes of helping her be more comfortable. He is happy she trusts him to come out to him, and is always an open ear to listen and open arms for a hug whenever she needs the comfort.

GARRETH WEASLEY: This Weasley boy… He lets his usual jokey personality dissolve momentarily as he understands the courage it took MC to come out to him. Garreth doesn’t quite have personal experience or conversations on the topic (whether that be with someone in general or a transgender person), but that doesn’t stop him from trying his best! He’ll cheer MC up when she faces a tough path, and he’ll be there with her when she comes out to his aunt to change her dorm room.

NATSAI ONAI: Instantly welcomes MC to the girls! She will absolutely help her with finding any resources she needs, even going above and beyond to find multiple of them. Anything to help MC. :)

POPPY SWEETING: Like Natty, Poppy will instantly welcome MC to the girls and as with Anne, will invite her on the next girls’ trip out to Hogsmeade! She’s much more brave in standing up for her when she needs it, and will swoop in for the save on Highwing should MC ever need it.

IMELDA REYES: Imelda thinks MC is so badass for it. It takes a lot of courage to come out, especially in a time where being anything but cisgender was not as widely accepted in the muggle world. She validates MC in ways that don’t need words— kicks anyone who deadnames or misuses pronouns, welcomes them to the girls locker rooms of the Slytherin quidditch team (if MC is in Slytherin and on the team!) and makes sure they’re comfortable overall.

ANNE SALLOW: Anne was there when Sirona told Sebastian about her experience, and she accepts MC with open arms. Literally, she’ll hug her, and then invite her to the next girls day out to Hogsmeade!

EVERETT CLOPTON: As someone with a trans mother, he understands quite perfectly! He thanks MC for trusting him with such information and will gladly help her towards resources and books that his moms used to help the family grow a stronger bond. (He even asks MC if she would like to talk to his mom about her experiences, and will gladly pass on any letters back and forth.)

LEANDER PREWETT: Unsure of how to react at first, but lets her know that he’s supportive!! He truly means well, and he’ll show that support it in ways that aren’t the most verbal— like making it a habit to have hairpins or ribbons on hand for her hair, or correcting anyone who deadnames her.

LUCAN BRATTLEBY: Immediately offers to style her hair!!! This kid has five little sisters and has become the designated hairstylist in the family because they all beg him to do it, and other girls never let him do it. He doesn’t hesitate to place her in the women’s bracket of the Crossed Wands duels as well, when there’s gender-specific tournaments.

PROFESSOR FIG: It takes him a bit to switch from calling her his son to his daughter, but he gets it down within the week! Wholeheartedly accepts and still loves MC for who she is, and he is so proud of who she’s growing to become.