#like. More than four things
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i am Exhausted
#rambling#Specifically; exhausted with not being able to eat#like. More than four things#It's exhausting watching other people eat and enjoy themselves while I have to carefully manage everything I put in my body#Or else feel horribly ill#And sometimes I feel ill anyway! Because screw me I guess!#I'm supposed to be *healing* but I don't *feel* like I'm healing#I have this concept like in the future I'll be healed and okay again but at the same time I can't comprehend things changing#Every day I'm fighting for my freaking life#And as I continue to be sick and I am not working I'm watching my bank account go down and wondering if I'm just a loser and a coward#who can't handle being an adult#I'm sad this evening
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i think you guys are onto smth..
i unironically got invested in this HELP
#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd#anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve#both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year#newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work#he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba#so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit#kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it#when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai#he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg#when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration#they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back#dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed#ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again#this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain
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LIKE OH MY GOD Eddie told Buck there was no one else in this world he trusted with his son more than him when he had known him for one (1) year and Buck had JUST lost his son in a TSUNAMI and he MEANT IT and then Buck tried to DIG HIM OUT from under 40 FEET OF MUD with his BARE HANDS and then Eddie’s BLOOD was in BUCK’S MOUTH because he was shot right in front of him and Buck pulled him to safety with ONE HAND and then Eddie asked him if HE was HURT and when he woke up he told him he put him in his will as his son’s legal guardian A YEAR AGO and then Buck DIED and Eddie literally RESTARTED HIS HEART like how can you not feel insane about them how is anyone normal about this how do THEY think this is normal what!!! the fuck!!!!!
#AND THIS IS ONLY LIKE THE FOUR ABSOLUTE MOST INSANE THINGS LIKE THE OTHER SMALLER INSANE THINGS CUMULATIVELY ADD UP TO MORE THAN THIS!!!#sorry. sorry. I’m losing my mind.#buddie
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why does it always gotta be "oh im a communist but not like those marxists leninists-" we had this debate. in the 1800s. in fact marx AND lenin wrote about it: you are either for some nebulous idea of communal living that gets you nowhere OR you realize that you have to start from the current material conditions, and organize, and the organization has to be centralized for it to work and you have to study a lot and also act in group because going to protests on your own is just perpetuating an individualist ideology. they were saying marx was outdated in 1915!! guess what happened two years later. like you can incorporate all you want from feminism and queer theory and even anarchy but at the end of it all. only one line of action can bring about revolution, has revolution as its objective and has in fact done so before. it's marxism leninism. you have just been conditioned to think it's outdated so you wouldn't use the only weapon that actually works! people cant afford to eat and the west's quest to maintain economic hegemony is pushing us into ww3 and you will not use the concepts of plusvalue, imperialism, and political party, why? because the ruling class told you identity politics are more modern?
#new flatmate more liberal than expected. I'll take it#excuse the wall of text I didn't tell her all that because it would lead nowhere i decided to just keep talking to her and use no labels#for what im talking about#it usually works to trap the more radical rlements into agreeing w you#devastating tho#'yeah im a militant'#for what?#'oh i just go to things'#thats. thats not.... that#and she even likes the best the worst occupied place in the city. we have like four of those she likes the only one with a clown school#politics
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"It's dark and lonely. Where did I go wrong?" Day Two of @byler-week! Now it's Mike's turn for the standard, but not-so-standard (but just equally as devastating) angst. Will it get better tomorrow? Stay tuned to find out!
Today's Prompts were: Light, Paranormal, Communicating, Green/Purple Color Scheme
Part One
#cadetart#I really wanted to experiment with a style that A. suited Mike and B. experiment with the lasso tool on Clip Studio#and I am pleasantly surprised at how it turned out!#I used to use Procreate and I'm sorry Procreate users...#the lasso tool... isn't the best...#BUT IT STILL RULES THO LOL#also shirtgate reference in pages three and four??? more likely than you may think ;-)#don't wanna spoil ALL the symbolism...#but I love shirtgate so I had to shout it out in the tags :-)#byler#bylerweek#bylerweek2024#byler nation#byler fanart#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#shirtgate
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their autism clashes so hard (so do their traumas <3)
#if u want context I'll give it lol#fs#four swords#blue link#vio link#they're so cute#it was greens idea#red just took the photo!#<3 <3 <3#four swords manga#fs art#my art#four swords art#fs vio#fs blue#aren't they precious ?#(one of them has bitten the other)#who did it? who knows but shadow was ecstatic#someone may have thrown a dictionary at the other 2 “teach them a lesson since all the reading they did apparently wasn't helping!”#<3#they ended up with blue and purple bruises all over<3#oh we love accidentally triggering each other and vio throwing the first punch and getting into a genuine real fight after weeks of passive#aggression and building discontempt!#I love them ur honor#dw they make up <3#in the most stupid way possible <3#why'd they get into the figith?#well I'm gonna be real I have a whole thing with dialogue and trauma lmao but i need to actually organize it to post:')#more like a storytelling thing than a fanfic thing#probably later tonight I'll start posting since I'm a bit busy
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After many hours of work… it’s finally here
Shane isn’t the most verbally affectionate person, but when he is it’s one of Callum’s favourite things- even if Cal can’t take compliments very well ;)
I might do this in full colour at some point but I was really fucking with just the simple shading 😌
(simpler version under cut before extra detail cause I like the colours better):
#oranges art#I took my sweet time with this one folks#like three or four days with lots of breaks#but#genuinely one of my favourite things I’ve done so far#it just feels so them#and what their intimacy looks like a year or two into ‘officially’ dating#I love these two freaks so much#also I am very aware Shane is in nothing more than boxers#I’m not saying that was intentional#however#it was absolutely intentional#and I’m not ashamed#think of it like post showers after a long day#both getting comfy for bed#nothing more…#>:)#n e wayyyyyy#gonna stare at my own drawing for the next five to ten business days#sdv shane#stardew shane#stardew valley shane#sdv farmer#stardew farmer#stardew valley farmer#sdv oc#stardew oc#stardew valley oc#farmer callum
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woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye
follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits
#mostly completed this a month ago and then procrastinated the final touches until now lmao#its. so low quality. i also switched to a new brush for lineart and now this is kinda 🥴#i wanted to draw my modern au designs :3#fun facts:#hua cheng has a glass eye but he still covers it with his bangs#modern HC shops at prada btw#MQ is described as looking more like a civil god than a martial one so he has a goth academia type thing going on#FX wears sports team shirts everywhere sorry#mu qing’s mug has 3 different level markers#“fuck off” “i can hear you i just dont care” and “ok what were you saying?”#i think mu qing would hate that sort of mug but feng xin and xie lian keep giving them to him#apologies to anyone who doesnt know the rules of monopoly this is incomprehensible without previous knowledge#so: do i believe these four would actually voluntarily hang out post canon#yes actually. fxmq and hua cheng mutually tolerate each other for xie lians sake#imo after like a LONG time hc could actually be friendly towards fx (in book 2 fx admits how courageous hong hong’er is) or mq (bitch2bitch#but i dont think thatll happen there is way too much resentment that goes both ways#remember that theyve canonically fought multiple times ‼️#tgcf#art#tian guan ci fu#天官赐福#heaven official’s blessing#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#fengqing#feng xin#mu qing#xianle trio#my art
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#rwby#I went to look to the replies of the 'does it like women' poll for RWBY#just out of curiosity#because it had a lot#and this is the first thing I see#I honestly just find it funny at this point#the episode that sparked all of that came out more than four years ago and there's still people arguing about it#(like he was wrong. it's obvious. but it's funny that people keep relitigating it apparently)
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attention shoppers there is a sickly little victorian twink with homicidal tendencies in the garden supplies department
#tew#the evil within#tew ruvik#ruvik#art#nuclearart#blood //#ok so. hi. i have nothing to say for myself#nice eyebrows and hair ruben did leslie give them to you#there's only two self indulgent things in this piece and that's 1) gorgeous brown eyes and 2) pretty princess eyelashes#other than that he is simply just his sickly little self. he may be powerful in stem but in real life i could snap him like a twig#i like to think that over time his own appearance starts overwriting leslie's so at some point he looks more like himself than leslie#this would be like. four years after the conclusion of tew1
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SOZOMURA BABIES!!!! Presents them all like microscopic specimens
Mozna is the smallest baby and she can climb on walls (a soon later menace to society)
Then here's some extra doodles for them :-D
And no shamura did NOT have a great time birthing three kids but at least they all came out silly (though they were worried about asmaa taking a little over four weeks to hatch ,, seeing as Mozna hatched open faster than Majnoon)
I NEVER DREW A PREGNANT PERSON BEFORE. SO. i actually just wanted to draw that as a joke but then i got invested and managed to draw more 💀 HERHAHDSGHDAH
Okay sorry for the art load i will actually take a few hours to rest my hands HELP
#sydneys doodles#cotl#cult of the lamb#i procrastinated on drawing more for my babies like four days ago but. bam! yay! yippee! quickly doodled asmaa!#sozonius#shamura#sozomura#sozura#fankids#do i tag that . yes i probably should#drawing shamura pregnant was kinda funny i was like. wouldnt it be a little silly goofy and then i /srs'd#shouldve made sozo pregnant the roles reverse /j#i think shamura might've passed out for longer than a day and sozo kept worrying and then they woke up like a zombie#sozo yelps and is like OH SHIT. MY WIFE. UOURE AWAKE. DID YOU DIE.#<- hes a doctor he should already know this shit#well. well he was worrying anyways i cant blame him#sorry autism#this is more like a separate au thing tbh ?? idk i think its fun to make#cw pregnancy#i think
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You know I probably would have figured out something was up with me genderwise sooner if people assigned female at birth were not conditioned from a young age to absolutely loathe their bodies in order to sell beauty products and diets and unattainable standards
#spitblaze says things#very hard to recognize that the background radiation in ur life is dysphoria under the unrelenting pressure of societal misogyny!!!#like i understand where some people are coming from when they say that transmascs are only transitioning to escape misogyny#which like. fuckin hell i WISH that worked. this shit is inescapable#but also we arent transitioning because of misogyny. were transitioning in spite of it#the entire point of misogyny is to keep Those Who Are Not Men in line#im not 'escaping misogyny' any more than the lesbians who refuse to style themselves to heteronormative tastes#'yeah but passing trans men get male privilege' yea maybe socially. and its not like im fuckin asking for it. i dont want this shit#you think i asked for that shit?? you think stealth and passing transmascs dont push back against misogyny and patriarchy???#weve been on the other side. we know what its like#obvs theres gonna be shitty individuals but if ur letting like three or four dudes shape ur perception of a whole group thats another issue#got off track there but i suppose thats what the notes are for#anyway te/-rfs. die. womanhood is not defined by suffering and you’re all defeatest reactionary shitheads
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So I played through some more dbh last night and woke up thinking, God, there is a good reason Markus and Kara, and their respective companions never got as popular as Connor and Hank. Literally The Bridge is surrounded by the most *do everything for absolutely no reason* chapters, and there's no comparison.
First the Kara chapter wastes your time, she barely gets any small talk in with Luther, then the car breaks down, then you're just doing tiny tasks, doing a shitty sum up of her story so far when Alice asks you to make one up- they could have done something interesting with that story but they chose not to, literally anything specific anything that would function as a parallel to their journey would have actually had some value. Then you barely start a conversation with Luther, where are you maybe get a hint of his personality before we're back to just talking about the plot and Alice, but then it's over again and you meet the Jerries and you learn almost nothing about them.
It is a chapter where you do nothing interesting, and you learn almost nothing about the main characters, for a downtime chapter, I expect character development and get barely a sneeze of it. There is so much room and so much time for you to really push and question your main characters but it just doesn't get used.
Honestly I think the protagonists all could have probably really benefited from the audience getting to hear their internal monologues if they weren't actually going to talk to their companion characters, but even that would just be a substitute for decent writing.
Either way, after that, we come back to Connor and Hank, who do almost no tasks in this chapter, *but spend the entire time TALKING.* They talk to each other in a constant volley back and forth for the entire length of the chapter and it's probably one of the best chapters in the game, it's certainly one of the most important in their story. You spend the entire bridge scene learning more about Hank and Connor's inner worlds, and how they think, and how they feel, you spend the whole chapter learning so much about their perspectives, this chapter is all about asking the hard questions about both of their individual characters, and the tension is high, it's a straightforward chapter to play, and it really fucking feels like your choices matter here, there will be immediate consequences, not just walking through your environment trying to find the right answer, or being dragged through an interaction. It's just plain good.
And then Markus infiltrates the Stratford Tower, and you get the most boring and useless and frustrating chapter in the game that doesn't seem to serve any purpose beyond looking cool. If Kara's last chapter was only to gain sympathy and create some soft and fuzzy feelings, this chapter is only about looking cinematic. This is probably my least favorite chapter in the game, honestly I've just gotten lost on that yellow ass office floor building too many times, even though I'm very familiar with the game now I still managed to get lost again last night.
I will admit that eventually it does become an opportunity to decide between pacifism and violence but that seems to be the only real development for Markus, and it wouldn't have been hard to make that kind of opportunity in another setting. Because we get next to nothing watching him get past the front desk, or from walking around that floor, just some outfit changes and pretending to be a machine and a little more Android hate in the background, Markus is almost completely silent yet again, there is almost no talking with North once she appears. We actually get more about North's personality here than Markus', she just feels like she has more lines somehow, because sometimes she just talks without it being connected to the plot and Markus never does.
This bit is more speculative, but my fiance and I were going off last night about whyyyy did they have to break into the tower? We're never given any reason for what the steps are and why they are important, just usually pretty important in these mission impossible type scenes, they're usually explaining in a voice-over why they are taking the steps that they are taking. But we get no explanation for why he needs to go to the 47th floor or whatever, No explanation for why he needs to change into a maintenance Android uniform, why North was in the stairwell, how Josh and Simon got in, it's all just handwaved, and whyyyyyy they couldn't have just?? Made a recording and then hacked the station's broadcast remotely and basically just posted the speech? I don't know, it's just a particularly frustrating chapter to play, personally, but it isn't strong.
Either way, you've got two chapters with next to no character development, that just have a lot of empty space and time where the characters could have been talking or could have been doing something else, but didn't because the vibes were more important, sandwiching a simple scene with ten pounds of character development and it just feels weird. And once I noticed it, it just made the Kara and Markus chapters look incredibly weak and poorly written... And conversely, make the Connor and Hank chapter look much, much stronger in comparison.
It's like Detroit become human almost needs it's own type of Bechdel Test, just to show how much they fail Markus and Kara. "Do they talk about something that isn't the plot?"
"Do Kara and Luther talk about something that isn't Alice or getting to Canada?" "Does Markus talk about anything besides his speech for this chapter?" "Does Alice talk at all beyond basic communication with Kara?" "Does Markus or his buddies talk about anything that's not the revolution or just Markus himself?"
... They don't pass a lot.
It's just hard to take these characters above simply *likeable* when they just, don't, ever, talk. There's little to no development for Markus or Kara, and because they've just become deviants, there's hardly any character establishment in the first place, they barely even get the chance to just be flat, because if they don't really know who they are, we don't really know who they are.
Connor and Hank's friendship is more functionally the main plot, more so than the deviant investigation, and for Markus and the team, and Kara with Alice, that's simply just not the case, there is hardly any relationship, they're just in the same boat. This is why Connor got astronomically more popular, and why he and Hank have the staying power that they do.
Markus and Kara just don't ever talk, and Connor does. And I'm fucking mad about it. The amount of time that was just wasted in their stories, I could probably take a damn stopwatch to all the moments where there could have been a little something-something, and nothing was put there. It's not to say Connor doesn't get some quiet moments too but he always gets the chance to make up for it.
Even at the beginning of the Stratford Tower chapter, I noticed that they could have had Simon and North talking about something maybe unrelated when Markus walks up, but there's nothing, only silence until Markus comes in with a plan. And of course we know about every time Luther tries to bring up the fact that Alice is an android, only to be shut down and walked away from. It fucking kills me how much time Mark is has the focus of the camera but it's only so he could look cool for a minute, and share no thoughts of his own, none of his new feelings, everything is only implied and then followed by the action where he is only allowed to be the leader of the revolution and never just Markus. There's a tragedy in that, but they could have driven it home harder by *pointing that out.*
#dean talks to himself#detroit become human#dbh connor#markus dbh#Kara dbh#and it's not like i don't know there's racism and sexism in fandom and in production. obviously Connor is a white man. i didn't forget#and there's the insanity that happened with GR and creating all that personality for an asshole with four appearances throughout the game#which makes you wonder why didn't the fandom do the same for Markus and Kara bc wtf#But honestly the logic kind of tracks. GR showed so much personality and he has the benefit of being human so we can more easily extrapolat#we know what humans tend to do with their time and what they act like and we barely get to see any androids actually doing the whole#becoming human thing.#I've tried building them up in my head but I'll admit it's kind of hard. they're more blank slate than sandbox#GR is a human and Hank's foil and that's easy to extrapolate on. 900 is Connor but Better and that's easy to extrapolate on#i think we somehow see too much and not enough of Markus and Kara and it has us pressing the brake and the gas at the same time#just trying to figure them out around these points. it's like a damn maze and a lot of speculation that doesn't have anything to grab onto#it's just a damn crying fucking shame because there was so much time to spend on them and it just doesn't get spent on them#anyway rant over hope you didn't hate it
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Wdym this country is choosing a criminal and rapist who wants to dismantle the government again
#rememebering those posts that were saying things like the parks service wont survive another four years#ohmykgosidkaka#obviously it's more than that#dont @ me it's 4am and im crying#flythepost
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