#like… he was going to college

[desperatecheesecubes]

He just picks him up and throws him 😭

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

[wanologic]

yo danny fenton he was just 19

[vivitalks]

freshman/sophomore year riz gukgak on three hours of sleep & five cups of coffee: vibrating out of his skin, one hand on his gun, talking at 100 words per minute, the poster child of paranoia

junior year riz gukgak on zero hours of sleep, nine cups of coffee, perfect grades, & twelve half-assed extracurriculars: literally whining his way through sentences just trying to piece enough words together to allow one coherent transfer of information while his brain melts out of his ears from stress

[girbirty]

house and wilson smoking weed together but wilson has a panic attack for no reason and house is The Same As Usual

[dcxdpdabbles]

Jason: Alright, listen up. My name is Mr. Todd, and I'll be your new English teacher for the remainder of the year. I have simple expectations from you all: I assign you books, you read them, and then you write reports on them. If you stay on top of your classwork, I will make sure you succeed in my class. Any questions? Paulina: How old are you, Mr. Todd? Jason: Twenty-four. Star: You have an interesting accent. Where are you from? Jason: Gotham. Dash: What's your favorite sport? Jason: Boxing. Sam: Do you answer all questions in one word? Jason: Yes. Tucker: What happened to Mr. Lancer? Jason: Surgery. Jason: That's enough about me. Let's go over the syllabus for this class. Take one and pass the rest. I have all your assignments prepared, so if a few of you want to work ahead, that's fine. Most professors like that you do so in college, and I won't baby you. If you need extensions, let me know by email three days before. I hope you all like the Libary. We will be visiting it once a week. After Class: Danny: I have never paid so much attention in class and retrained nothing. Sam: How could you when the teacher looks like that. He walked in with a leather jacket and a white hairstreak. He's hot. Paulina: I can't believe I'm agreeing with the biggest dorks in school, but damn, Mr.Todd is gorgeous. I'm going to actually work in this class. Is that weird? Dash: Not weird at all. I'm thinking of cutting football practice to catch up on some reading. I don't want Mr.Todd to think I'm an idiot. He could show me some boxing moves. Wes: Are we all just going to ignore that the new English teacher is Red Hood? The CRIME LORD? Tucker: Not now, Wes, we're admiring the perfect man. Wes: You don't even like men! Tucker: Game recognizes game.

[lotus-pear]

free will is drawing ur two favorite characters together and making them gay

[mejkosmos]

no because people never shut up about how bad bill fumbled ford which,,, okay valid BUT can we talk about how bad ford fumbled //FIDDLEFORD//?!? FOR A DORITO?!?!??!?

[asparkinhereyes]

one of my fav headcanons for damian is that he's one of those kids who graduates high school early, and i just think it'd be funny if he was going to college at around the same time tim is, for the sole reason that it would drive tim batshit insane.

[breesperez139]

DC x DP Prompt #7

The Dragon has Three Heads

After their High King was crowned, he was taken in by the Ancients. He was a child with continuously growing power forced to bear the weight of the Infinite Realms and in need of guidance, who better to advise him than the almighty Ancients themselves?

At first, none could decide on who would take their young king in. Not because he was unwanted, but because he was. The Ancients nearly sent the Realms to war with their myriad of reasons and excuses as to why they should be the only ones to take the ghost child in as their own.

In the end, the Ancients came to the agreement of split custody. They would all adopt their little king, but the consequences were dire and unprecedented. With so many powerful beings claiming an even more powerful being as their own child, their little one’s power increased to an all time high nearly breaking the mortal body he resided in.

Every being dead and alive could feel the birth of a new primordial being born. Primordials, beings even more powerful than Ancients, were an extinct species. Any who existed would eventually fade into their domains and lose their sentience for all of existence.

But the Ancients did not want this. They did not want this end for their child. They would not allow it.

Instead, they planned. They traveled different worlds and planets, spreading tales of the Great King Phantom. The epithets they gave him were grand and they would not leave until their work was finished. Their child would be revered, feared, and most importantly, he would be remembered and sentient and alive.

Belief is a powerful tool. Powerful enough to keep Gods immortal, and Primordials from fading. So long as the mortals believed the Primordials were still walking among them, their child would never die. He might not understand why he had to visit his worshippers every few years, but it is for his own good.

Then came two more. Not quite Primordials, but they were certainly on their way. The girl was made in their child’s own image, a mirror. The boy was their child but different. From the moment he appeared, he was no longer outside of time, but outside of space itself.

And with them, came the human female. She was a fierce warrior. Headstrong and bold and so very protective of their little ones. She too became theirs. She too became their child. Yet she was too mortal, too fragile. They could not let this stand.

So they spread tales and created myths. Anything to ascend their mortal daughter into godhood and keep their immortal children alive. So came the legend of the Dragon. The legend of their children.

The Dragon has three heads

Jasmine, their little dragon. Three heads, one for each of her siblings. One head for each mouth she had to feed. One head for each mouth she had to teach. One head for each mouth she had to protect. Three heads for the three children she had to raise as a mere child herself.

And like a dragon, she persevered. Like a dragon, she fought with passion and power and pride. With the strength and determination of a dragon because in truth, she is a dragon. Born by fire, kissed by fire, loved by fire. None could deny the dragon blood running through her veins.

One to be a murderer who will unleash death

Daniel, their little destroyer. He who creates destruction and chaos with every step he takes. He who embodies rage and despair, love and fury, grief and sorrow. His emotions high and potent when it comes to those he loves, as well as those he hates. Having lost everyone he held so dearly, it is not a wonder as to why he is so ruthless and possessive over the family he has now.

One to be a monarch whose crown will weigh heavy

Danyal, their little savior. The assassin prince destined to defeat the tyrant and rule them for all of eternity. The boy king destined to lead and protect them for all of eternity. The holy emperor destined to ensure peace and prosperity spread throughout the Infinite Realms for all of eternity. The perfect and omnipotent God meant to be praised and worshipped for all of eternity.

And One to be mad whose ideas will change history

Danielle, their little wanderer. She who broke free from the unknowing chains that shackled her. She who bent and molded reality, forcefully rewriting the ancient laws. She who bowed to no man, no ideal, no predestined fate as she roamed and reshaped worlds. The little princess would create what she wanted, transform what she wanted, change what she wanted and none could stop her. Not when she was evolution itself.

[superbat-lmao]

Jason blames the mistake on the fact that it was his first time being back in the cave after coming onto the scene as Red Hood. He was needed as part of a larger operation, but being back in the sterile and kleptomaniacal space had made him slip up. Old behavior patterns that fit like too tight gloves.

He’d said it as a joke, of all things.

His relationship with the bats was tepid at best and he’d rebuked every attempt they’d made for him to participate in their little “family” charade. His only concession had been for work related business. But his head wasn’t on right, it seemed, because he slipped back into the old tone he used when he would banter with Batman.

Bruce had asked him to stay for dinner, which he’d declined. Dick had asked him if he wanted to join in on movie night, which he’d ignored. Alfred had told him in no uncertain terms would someone within his household go without at least refreshment, so he’d accepted the tea. Tim and Damian had already turned in for the night, not eager to be a part of the hissed threats followed by sullen silences that functioned as their method of conversation.

Jason had been reading through some of the files for the upcoming operation while Dick was doing his best to keep up a stream of chatter. It didn’t alleviate the frosty tone of the cave, but it did remind Jason of the few times Dick had tried to play “happy family” before he’d scamper back off to Bludhaven. It was a blast from the past, this level of unease between them. If it weren’t for the spectre of glass and bloody fabric in Jason’s periphery he’d think he’d somehow been sent back in time.

At some point in the incessant noise, Dick had said something about an upcoming gala and was trying to strategize with Bruce about how to convince Damian to attend. And by “strategize with Bruce” Jason meant “prattle on aimlessly at a brick wall like a mental patient.”

Bruce told Dick that he would employ the same method he’d used on all his kids, bribery.

Then Bruce had turned to Jason and asked if he would consider attending dinner tomorrow night instead, if he was already busy.

“It’ll cost you.”

Jason’s tone should’ve been cold, aloof. But in actuality, it was a lot closer to his old humor, the sarcasm and wit that belied a Robin.

Dick had stopped talking. Bruce was quickly recovering, schooling his blank expression into something painful to look at.

“How much?”

Jason’s eyes, which had flicked back down to the file, stopped on the word associates. He glanced back up and yep. Bruce’s face was a mixture of hope and determination. His eyes glinted in the harsh fluorescents.

“What?”

“How much will it cost to have you stay for dinner tomorrow?”

Jason scoffed.

“You can’t afford me.”

“Try me.”

Dick was flicking his eyes between them like a tennis match.

Jason paused.

In actuality, crime lording paid well, but the funds weren’t all usable for the same things. For civilian things. Jason could do with some clean, unlaundered cash. Not that he wanted to admit it.

He let the silence stretch until it was uncomfortable. He didn’t take his eyes off Bruce.

“How long?”

“You stay from 6pm to 8:30pm.”

“My going rate is a hundred dollars a minute.”

“Done.”

Bruce wasn’t smiling, and Dick huffed out something that sounded faintly jealous but hey. Jason would be a fool to pass up $15,000.

[wanologic]

always good to keep a screamhole handy

[butchhamlet]

"One big question about Hamlet focuses on what a Catholic ghost talking about a Catholic purgatory is doing in an apparently Protestant play. After the religious turmoil of the middle years of the 1550s, Elizabeth's accession marked the establishment of Protestantism as the religion of England: Catholicism was outlawed and driven underground. Two particular doctrinal differences are often used to focus the theological disagreements between Catholicism and Protestantism. The first is the question of transubstantiation and the physical presence of Christ in the Eucharist. The second is more obviously stageworthy: the presence, provenance, and reliability of ghosts. In Hamlet, the ghost's description of his imprisonment 'confined to fast in fires / Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature / Are burnt and purged away' (1.5.11-13) describes the outlawed theology of purgatory, just as the ghost's very presence is anathema to Protestant doctrine, which could not allow that anyone returned from the dead. Horatio, alumnus of a distinctly Protestant university in Wittenberg, a place indelibly associated with Martin Luther's radical challenge to the Catholic Church in 1517, expresses more orthodox reformed views. He questions what the ghost intends, warning Hamlet not to follow: it 'might deprive your sovereignty of reason / And draw you into madness' (1.4.54-5)."

—Dr. Emma Smith, This is Shakespeare (emphasis mine; this sums up pretty well what i couldn't cover about religion in my post on why hamlet isn't dithering. the fact that the ghost is clearly catholic and yet hamlet has been going to THEE martin luther university... either the catholics are right or The Devil Is Here)

[julijbee]

in awe of the beauty of the world

[c7arisse]

old things to celebrate the new season :)

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE