asparkinhereyes

[asparkinhereyes]

idk if i ever said this before on here or not but you’re weird if you headcanon characters as pedophiles.

[asparkinhereyes]

half-baked Jayrena fic that lives in my brain free of rent, that I'll probably never write:

It's bittersweet! But mostly sweet!!! LISTEN--

early high school romance, super juvenile and innocent, bonded over books and school work. Definitely each other's first scrape with anything 'romantic', and probably the first time Jason felt kind of normal in years. Rena is one of the few people who can say she knew 'Jason Todd' as he was before he died, and without knowing he was robin. (Although, she had her suspicions when he'd show up to school with bruises, or when he'd opt of of PE for the day, or when he'd come to her window late at night just to chat, out of breath with odd glue residue around his eyes. She's also heard robin laugh a few times, when he's swinging around with Batman. It sounds like Jason's laugh, but when she brings it up to Jason as a joke, he shrugs it off like "you must miss me a lot when I'm not around"). She's the only kid from Gotham academy that ever set foot in Wayne Manor by Jason's invitation, and the only kid Alfred can even recall Jason speaking about after school.

Jason tells her that he thinks he's in love with her. Rena thinks she feels something similar, but the words get a little caught in her throat, so she just leans forward on the bench where they're sitting, and kisses his cheek. And Jason turns scarlet.

But then Jason starts pulling away. It's out of the blue, with zero explanation. All she knows is that the last few times he's seen him, he's not really there. His eyes are glazed, he can't answer the question in literature when he's called on, and he doesn't find her outside of her locker between every class like usual. he starts missing days at school with no warning, and his assignments are getting turned in late-- he's missing rehearsals for the school show that she's running tech on. He has a small speaking role, so it doesn't affect much, but she knew he loved it. She gets a cryptic voicemail one night, and Jason's voice is stuffy and congested on the recording, and all he says is that Bruce isn't too happy with him, and that he's going out of a town for a bit because he wants to see if he can find his birth mom. "I'll be back before you know it... love ya." He says. And the message beeps to an abrupt close.

Her stomach is in knots. She was there when Jason first brought up searching for his biological mom. She was there when he looked at her with his sad baby blues and asked, "She must have had a good reason for it, right? Like if you were going to have a baby, what would have to happen in order for you to give it up?"

She calls the manor multiple times-- Alfred picks up once and explains that "Master Jason is currently occupied, but I shall let you know he called." And Alfred speaks like Jason is home-- but Rena knows he isn't. Bruce Wayne hasn't appeared in a tabloid in a little over a week. That's not normal.

She wakes up on April 27th, and she goes to school. And everyone is staring at her. Weird stares, that make your skin crawl, that make you feel like you can't really breathe. It's like the air is stale and somber around her, the school is quiet in a way it usually isn't. She walked deliberately to Jason's locker, because she always does, every day since he stopped showing up at hers. But he isn't there.

What is:

A bouquet of flowers, a cross, and a newspaper clipping.

Publication Date: April 27th, 6am.

The news has only been out for two hours, and there's already the beginnings of a memorial starting.

Rena's lungs are spasming in her chest as she reads the headline: "Bruce Wayne's Adopted son, Jason Todd-Wayne, Murdered by Notorious Mass-Murderer, The Joker." And the single image is older, from when Jason was twelve, on the steps of the courthouse he came out of the day he was adopted by Bruce Wayne.

She's so goddamn angry when the funeral is privatized. She's so angry when she wanders up to the Wayne cemetery gate, and all she can do is stare from afar as the grave-diggers erect that god-awful angel headstone, weeks after the funeral. She's so fucking mad when she calls the manor just to ask if there's anything she can do, and she receives no answer.

She listens to Jason's voicemail until her ears feel like they're bleeding, and all she is hollow and snot.

Because her boyfriend is dirt, and death, and maggots-- and she never said it back. Would he have still left, if she had just told him that she loved him too? That it wasn't even that she thought she might-- but that she knew she did?

Robin looks different. Some part of her feels certain that she knows why. That she was right all along.

Time doesn't really wait for grief, doesn't wait for you to pick yourself up and say "Yes, I have mourned enough. It is time to move." Time moves you before you even get your feet beneath yourself.

The rest of High school is a mind-numbing blur. She has flickers of happiness, she meets to new friends, guys ask for her number; but she can never give it, because there's only one phone on this fucked planet that she wants her number on, and it's the one that will never be picked up again. She goes to prom in a senior year-- refused in her junior, because she had had this stupid fantasy of going with him ever since he first held her hand.

She goes dress shopping with her girls, and she paints her face for the high school football games, and she joins speech and debate, and she doesn't touch theater tech ever again. She joins the yearbook with one goal in mind: and that's to make sure his face is on the senior page, and that he's acknowledged during graduation. And she can barely breathe when one guy laughs at her for caring, "He's dead. Not like it matters." She hears him mutter, and she jabs him hard in the side with her elbow as she passes in the hall.

On graduation, she arranges his seat beside her own, and flips off anyone who rolls their eyes when she stops them from sitting in it. She walks the stage alone, like everyone else. And feels the weight of the world on her shoulders when his name is called, and his picture goes up on the screen-- and she hollers and cheers through tears, because she remembers how badly he wanted to graduate and go to college.

For a moment, as she's leaving the ceremony, she swears she sees a boy-- a man? Who looks just like him, only he's got more scars and a white streak in his hair, and he vanishes before she can really think too much harder about it. And besides, Jason is dead. And that guy was so tall-- Jason was malnourished to hell, and he died small.

It's a Wayne Charity gala when she sees the same guy again. It's three years later. She's in her last year of college, studying social work, because Jason Todd inspired her like no one else.

But this guy-- a total wallflower, and he seems to know Dick Grayson, and Tim Drake-Wayne, and Damian Wayne. There's even a few times that Bruce Wayne stops to chat with the guy, and it looks oddly tense but it passes quickly.

But he looks just like him. Yes-- there's weird things, odd things that make her hesitate to be sure, like the hair, the size of him, the way his eyes don't look quite as blue-- but there's other things, a specific beauty mark just on the corner of his lip that Rena often thought about kissing, but held herself back because she was stupid, and regret is a bitch. There's also this divet in his cheek, right below his eye, and it's a scar she remembers reaching out to touch, on a face less weathered.

He's staring right at her.

And she knows she looks good, but she doesn't look that good. He's staring at her like she's oxygen and he hasn't breathed in years. And it's so much more mature than she remembers it.

And God is she fucking insane? Jason Todd is dead. Jason Todd is dead. Jason Todd is--

"You look like a boy I dated in high school." Rena blurts out, unsure of when she'd gotten so close. And she watches his expression shift and spasm, and whatever is going on looks like it hurts. "That's why I was staring." she adds, as if it will save the interaction somehow. It doesn't. And she chooses to make it worse. "He passed away. That's really why I'm staring."

"What was his name?" The guy asks, and even his voice has this awful familiarity to it. It's gruffer, deeper-- but the inflection? Something about it is so--

"Jason Todd." She says.

The guy's eyes widen, and he seems to choke on air for a minute, "You actually remember me?"

(ensue the most dramatic and heart-wrenching proper reunion ever, paired with Rena crying BUCKETS like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU"VE BEEN ALIVE FOR ____ YEARS AND NEVER CAME AND FOUND ME?" And Jason is like "YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT I"VE BECOME!! WTF?? I Was just supposed to come back and put a ring on it, like I"m not a fucking murderer???" and she's like "YES???? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT--" "How was I supposed to know you weren't dating anyone??" "PLS BE FR. All it would take is a quick look at my FB status to know I wasn't." "Okay but there was no guarantee you would have been happy to see me! And I wasn't exactly someone worth seeing" "oh my God I fucking loved u you dumb fuck")

later, when they've both calmed down: "You were at graduation." She says. He's quiet for a long time, before he replies, "Yeah, you made sure I was."

@glitter-stained low-key thought this might interest you bc ur into Jayrena bc ur CULTURED

[asparkinhereyes]

jayrena to me is the movie trope where there’s this grizzled private investigator or mercenary or whatever and they keep having flashbacks to their dead wife frolicking in a field. but jason is the wife

[asparkinhereyes]

i think the main reason why i can’t bring myself to like lily evans as much as i did when i was younger is because of how much the fandom tries to paint her as a saint when she’s obviously not.

like what genuinely kind person would go on to marry and have a child with someone who bullied their former friend? even though they weren’t friends anymore at the point where she got together with james, lily was still very much aware of the cruelty that james was capable of subjecting onto others, and i don’t understand how she would be able to ignore that fact about him if she was a genuinely good person like everyone in the fandom claims she is. even if james had changed at that point which i doubt to be true, how would she be able to ignore that?

like if people were able to acknowledge that she was a flawed person like how they do with other marauders era characters (read: james), maybe i’d actually like her? maybe.

[asparkinhereyes]

the fact that harry potter has more maturity at fifteen than his own father did at his age is crazy, and that is why he'll always remain one of my favourite characters in the series.

[asparkinhereyes]

i’m not gonna judge tonks for being into older men even though that’s not my thing, but of all men to fall for why remus lupin of all people?!?!?

[asparkinhereyes]

It's punk to be a good person 🦸🏻

[asparkinhereyes]

when the prettiest girl in the world is caught cutting her own hair

[asparkinhereyes]

☆ metropolis kid!

[asparkinhereyes]

inspired by not one but two of @quiddling's cass drawings

[asparkinhereyes]

part three of the sk8er girls.. go yuri go

[asparkinhereyes]

the fact that severus snape never killed anyone before he mercy-killed dumbledore is pretty shocking, considering that there are many people he should've killed when he had the chance

[asparkinhereyes]

i haven’t seen them on my fyp in a while but there’s someone on tiktok who talks about poisons that could kill you and i think that’s something that would be right up severus' alley along with true crime.

I am absolutely convinced that if James Potter was alive in the Year of our Lord 2025, he would be a alpha male pick-up-artist social media influencer. He would tell his followers things like "You don't have to accept a woman's no," and film tiktoks of himself in designer suits (he's wearing lifts in his shoes to make himself look taller), boarding his parents' private jet (that he's pretending is his), flanked by two models gushing over him (they're paid actors).

Sirius, of course, does pranks. His channel has stopped uploading for some time. The last two videos have one that says, "I THREW A PIE AT A BRIDE AS SHE WAS COMING OUT OF THE CHURCH! WATCH HER REACTION!" followed by the next one with one of those stupid reaction face thumbnails reacting to his own mugshot and the title "GOING TO JAIL LADS!" Because he didn't realize his pranks were classified as assault.

Remus has a lot of honestly helpful tutorials. Need help defeating that one boss in a video game? Here's a tutorial. Don't know how to use this one brush in Blender? Here's a tutorial. Except there is no voice-over explaining the process. It is dead silent and the only instructions are some text overlay that is damn near impossible to read.

Peter has a bunch of horribly edited, horribly filmed, cringy videos that are just exact copies of his friends' videos. He has only two followers.

Lily does reaction videos, specifically a lot of AITA reddit videos and messy drama tiktoks. This girl has a lot of opinions. Like a lot, a lot and one of her greatest joys in life is giving her never ending advice to strangers on the internet.

Severus has a true crime deep dive channel. He has an entire intro with creepy music, creepy images of like a raven in a misty field, a centipede crawling through the socket of a skull, and some shit and then the video starts and instead of showing his face its an emo anime avatar of himself sitting in a gothic library like it's Masterpiece Theatre as he narrates the crime because my boy is a fucking nerd drama queen.

[asparkinhereyes]

i left the hp fandom during my last year of high school (which was slightly before jkr was revealed to be a transphobe), but for some reason the marauders fandom on tiktok finds a way to plague my fyp every now and then. and all i gotta say is that it is clear that some of y’all have not been working on your reading comprehension skills the way that y'all talk about severus snape.

do i agree with severus’ decision to join the death eaters? absolutely not, i would never agree with it. but i can understand why he would join them because the person he was during his hogwarts years is the perfect example of who cults like the death eaters are primarily known to target and exploit. if severus had come from a more stable home and he wasn’t bullied by the marauders to the extent that they bullied him (it was not a rivalry btw, severus would have had to been on equal footing to the marauders for it to be considered one), he would not have joined the death eaters at all because he wouldn’t have bought into their rhetoric because he would have had a support system that he could trust which is something he didn’t have in canon.

also before anyone says anything about how he treated his students, yeah i do agree that it wasn’t great. but considering the fact that he’s stuck in the place where he spent the worst years of his life where he faced relentless bullying that he almost died from and he hasn’t been given the time to heal, it’s understandable as to why he would act like that. being in that situation is something that not anyone who hasn’t spent the time in healing from can easily handle.

and also before anyone says anything about him being in love with lily, lily never would have known beyond assuming that he had feelings for her because he never confessed his feelings to her in canon. in fact after their friendship ended in swm’s they never interacted with each other after she rejected his apology. so lily would have no way of knowing severus’ true feelings towards her at any point after swm. at best she probably assumed he hated her or something after their friendship ended because of where they chose to align themselves in the war and what beliefs they had.

also why should severus care whether james lives or not when james and his friends were making severus' hogwarts years a living hell on earth even before severus had any genuine desire in joining the death eaters? lily was one of the few people in his life who he cared for so of course he'd ask for her life to be spared. if any of y’all were in the position where one of your bullies was at risk of dying would any of you beg for their lives to be spared? unless you’re truly a selfless person i doubt it, so why are we expecting severus snape of all people to be super altruistic when nobody has been to him? especially to james potter who harassed severus simply because he existed? yeah, out of all the things to hate him for that is the one thing you should not be hating him for.

y’all love to give nuance to death eater characters who have no remorse for the atrocities they have canonically committed (i.e. bellatrix, barty crouch jr., etc.), but none for someone who as a teen made a choice that he regretted and spent the rest of his life repenting for.

and that’s wild to me.

[asparkinhereyes]

even though i have my twt account back i might just delete it because tell me why anytime i click to see the replies on any random viral tweet the comments are full of people promoting their free only fans.

i hate twitter so much.

[asparkinhereyes]

if y’all are going to be hating on louis de pointe du lac can it be about the fact that he lives in dubai?

[asparkinhereyes]

as much as i love bruce wayne when it comes down to it, i will always side with his kids over him.

and that’s on period!