#like you wouldn't believe how talented and wonderful my mutuals are

[jdorian]

i keep wondering how i pulled such sexy mutuals... i'm like one of those nothing looking guys dating some famous bikini model

[palomahasenteredthechat]

https://www.tumblr.com/palomahasenteredthechat/761283849847177216/so-it-wasnt-a-fail-for-him-having-most-of-his?source=share No no no no no, this doesn't have to do with the obsessive and stalking people who *call* themselves fans. It doesn't have to do with the people who wait for him outside his hotels, follow him around the streets for pictures and behave inappropriately at cons. Those are not the core fans, those aren't even fans.

It has to do with the people who supported him from day one, who saw someone they could connect with and believed in him because he seemed down to earth and sweet, and supported and admired his talent and his work. He seemed to be able to "connect" with people, and I don't mean it in a weird way. I am very much aware of the fact that I don't know him, I don't think I know him because I see him in my screen and admire him, and it's none of my business who he's gonna date. He's a grown man and he will do what he wants in his personal life. But the *way* this whole thing happened, (especially since he always protected his personal life and was always very private) and yes, the person with which it happened, in this instance, are problematic. Not because "omg I wish it was me he dated!" but because, since he is in a relationship/situationship or whatever they are, with a person who has said and done awful things, things that are very triggering to many of us, one can't help but wonder "is he like her too? Does he believe the same things as her?? Or maybe he doesn't even care what she supports?" And honestly, I don't know which is worse. Furthermore, when this thing started and it backlashed and it didn't turn out the way he/his team might have thought it would, what he/his team did was to start dropping old backstage videos of him and such, trying to do what? To sugarcoat the whole thing? That damage control move from them seemed to me, and as I understand, to a lot of others, like they think we're stupid. Felt like they said "Throw them some new/old stuff of him being super cute, the way they have him in their heads, to stop the mess that has been created. Give them what they want and they'll forget about it." Well, we're not sheep. We have the right to have certain feelings about the situation, we have the right to have an opinion since they put whatever relationship they have out there for people to see. "like he simply does not care about what you think about his personal life because he probably thinks that, if you can go to those great lengths and disrespect somebody like this and cross multiple boundaries under the guise of "we care", "his gf is problematic", "this isn't who he is", "this is so out of character",yada yada yada, then maybe he thinks it's better to not have that specific group of people as fans. no matter how long they have been riding with him."

I will not be called problematic and disrespectful for expressing my opinion about something that, yes, of course it doesn't affect me directly, but it does affect a certain part of me which did believe in him, and which felt comforted and inspired by him and his work. It does hurt to feel that he doesn't care, simply because, also, the fans played an important role to where he is today. And since, like it seemed, he respected and was thankful for most of his fans too. It has to do with mutual respect. And yes, it also affects me because, as I already mentioned, I wouldn't like to see, at the end of the day, that the person I have been admiring so much supports awful things, or doesn't care that their partner is such an awful and problematic person. To conclude, nobody said they wanted him to remain boyish and insecure. Nobody said that him being more confident and comfortable is a negative thing. Quite the contrary. I loved to see him more sure and confident as the months went by. But the recent events might be leading to different conclusions. Yes, fame might have changed him. We can't know how he's feeling about this sudden thing that changed, I assume, his whole life these past 2 years.

But it would be very disappointing to see that he changed in a way that makes him not care about his fans anymore. Because, as it seemed, he did care about them at some point. And, in my opinion, it is not cool to want to turn the people who have been supporting you since day 1, away. And i'd like to be proven wrong but, based on what they wanted to show us (and not based on assumptions in my head), he doesn't seem to care anymore.

Wow. Nonny, you put everything so well. You really captured what so many of feel. Thank you.

"I will not be called problematic and disrespectful for expressing my opinion about something that, yes, of course it doesn't affect me directly, but it does affect a certain part of me which did believe in him, and which felt comforted and inspired by him and his work."

Exactly. An opinion. On a Tumblr blog. This.

[seidenbros]

Perfectly Broken

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey Summary: Jesper Fahey doesn't believe in soulmates. Wylan van Eck doesn't think he'll ever find the person whose laughter he hears in his head, who'll accept him the way he is. But once they meet, their beliefs seem to be crumbling. or When Kaz needs Wylan's musical talent to get back from Pekka Rollins what is rightfully theirs, he gives him a new home a family right along with it. Word count: 14.999 Warning/Tags: fluff, mutual pining, found family, head injury, singing, musical reference, dyslexic Wylan van Eck, both of them need a hug, background Helnik, idiots in love, Matthias calling Wylan "little lamb" A/N: Decided to post this properly to Tumblr as well, but you can also read it on AO3 of course. The song Perfectly Broken by Banners gave the title, it's definitely worth checking out. It's my first time writing for this fandom, and I wrote this while being home sick, but it wouldn't leave my head. please keep in mind that English isn't my first language 💚 Read on AO3

Jesper didn’t believe in soulmates. Technically, he knew that there was supposed to be one person out there for him, but he wasn’t so sure whether he’d ever meet that person or hear their laughter like everyone else did. It wasn’t the same for everyone. Some people heard their soulmate’s laughter in their early teens, some in their late twenties. He’d also heard of people who’d never heard that, who’d never met their soulmate - or had lost it way too early. Jesper had never heard anyone’s laughter in his head so far, but lately, there had been some sort of humming. A tune that he didn’t know, and he had to admit that it distracted him, made him get lost a little in some sort of dream. In fact, it took him back to wonderful memories, let him follow them down the rabbit hole a little time and time again, because it made him happy, made him feel so much all at once, that it was almost overwhelming. But when the humming was gone, he was immediately pulled back to reality, where he was met with two curious eyes, boring almost into his soul.

“Again Jesper?” Inej raised a questioning eyebrow looking him over. He was lucky they were in the Crow Club enjoying a drink together, because otherwise, this could have been dangerous. Of course, he knew that, and he didn’t even want to zone out like that, but it just happened, and since the humming appeared more often, he knew that he had to do something about it.

“Maybe it is your soulmate, and you’re just communicating differently.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jesper couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Maybe, Inej was projecting a little on him, hoping for him to find his soulmate like this, because she hadn’t heard any laughter yet as well. Jesper on the other hand knew for a fact who’d heard her laughter. He could see it in Kaz's eyes whenever Inej laughed, and he just wanted to lock them in a room until they figured this out. Until Inej realised that Kaz was really her soulmate and until Kaz allowed himself to show how he felt. He knew that it wasn’t that easy, in fact, it was rather complicated, but Inej was looking for something she already had right in front of her, and who knew when she’d realise it.

“Or you have some kind of disease. But I think I prefer my initial suspicion.” She turned her glass between her fingers and shrugged her shoulders. Oh, Inej was pretty sure that she was right, that Jesper and his soulmate were just communicating differently, but if he didn’t want to believe that or investigate it even, she’d try to leave him alone - as long as he didn’t zone out on a job and got them in danger like that. 

“Thought about that as well.” It did scare him a little, that this might be the case, but he was good at pushing stuff like that away from himself, and so he did the same right now, threw back another shot before he got up. Inej’s questioning look made him speak up again: “I have to pick up something for Kaz. I’ll see you in a bit.”

The wind was cold, but Wylan was hungry, and so he wasn’t behind closed doors in an abandoned house where he’d made himself some sort of home, but instead outside on the streets, playing the flute to maybe get a bit of money together so he could afford a warm meal. He hadn’t had a proper meal in days, just bits and pieces to keep him going. Making music in the streets didn’t earn him much, but sometimes, there was at least something that came out of it. If only he had a piano or keyboard, then he could do something more, but that cost money as well, and he didn’t have that, so the flute would have to do. He stuffed his jacket beneath him so he didn’t have to sit on the cold floor. That also meant that his upper body was a bit cold, but he’d manage, he always did somehow. No matter how cold it was here, it was better than being home with his so-called family, who were happier with him gone.

There were a few people who threw some money into the little box he had in front of him, probably because they felt bad for him. Honestly, he didn’t care why they did it, as long as he got some food out of it in the end. He’d played songs people knew all the time, but when it was dying down, less people walking by, he chose to play some of his own music, even got a bit lost in it, until he heard someone’s footsteps coming closer rather quickly. His eyes opened again and he stopped playing, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, because he always had to be ready to run with people being after him. His father’s people specifically.

“Hey! You!”

That was it. Wylan grabbed the money and his jacket and ran, didn’t wait a moment longer, fear being his catalyst and making him run even faster.

“Please stop!”

He heard the voice not far behind him, but since he knew this part of town so well, he found the nearest nook to almost vanish from sight. The darkness helped conceal his figure, now he just had to control his breathing to now be detected. His eyes darted out into the dimly lit alley, and he could see the person who’d called and run after him, dressed in rather flashy clothes, a top hat on his head. His heart jumped in his chest, though he couldn’t really say why. Was it fear or something else?

Jesper turned and looked around, but there was nobody to be seen. People don’t just vanish into thin air, so he had to be here somewhere. His heart was beating rapidly against his ribs, because that melody had sounded so familiar. It didn’t have to mean anything, he just wanted to ask the person where he knew that melody from, so maybe he could finally figure out why he was hearing that melody hummed inside his head. He kept looking for another five minutes or so, but didn’t find anyone, and though he wasn’t prone to giving up, he realised that it didn’t make sense to keep walking around in the cold when he couldn’t find anyone. Especially when Kaz was waiting for his delivery.

“Wylan.”

The well-known voice made him jump, because it was so unexpected, especially here in the darkness. He’d slipped back into his… well, his home of choice, because he couldn’t afford anything, and this was giving him at least a little shelter, and hardly anyone knew that he was here. Kaz did, though, because he’d worked for him a couple of times, desperate to have something to eat, some money. He’d never thought he’d do something criminal, but hunger made you do things you never thought possible.

“Kaz. What are you doing here?” Wylan licked his lips, put down his backpack and let the flute vanish into his pocket, before he reached for the small lamp to turn it on. The electricity was working in here, but he couldn’t turn on all the lights, because that would make people out there suspicious and investigate why there were lights on in an abandoned building.

“I have a business proposal for you.”

“I told you, I’m not feeling good about that.” But desperation had driven him to work for Kaz Brekker, but after finding out that someone had been hurt with his product, his conscience had kicked his behind a little. Yes, it had been someone who’d deserved far more than to break his hand, but it had still not sat right with him.

“It’s not that. I need your musical expertise. You need to create a diversion for us.” Kaz leaned a bit forward onto his cane, letting his eyes wander over Wylan’s body until his eyes cae to rest on his face.

“I- I don’t think I’ll be a good distraction with my flute.”

“I’m not talking about the flute.”

“But-”

“Wylan, don’t forget that I know you.” Kaz knew pretty much everything, knew about his heritage, knew why he’d run from home, why he was staying here, and so he also knew about his skills. “I need you on the piano.”

“I don’t…” He shook his head slightly, not sure whether this was a good idea or not, whether he was doing the right thing with that.

“You’ll get a room at the Crow Club, a warm bed, food.” Kaz took a step towards him, giving him another once over. “Some more food, because you do need your strength. We’re just taking back what’s rightfully ours, nothing more.” This time at least, but since Pekka Rollins had stolen from them, they deserved all that back.

It sounded way too tempting, and with temperatures dropping, did Wylan really have a choice? Not if he wanted to survive. He’d been freezing the night before already, and he knew that it would get worse. And a warm bed and food sounded way too good to say no.

“I might be a bit rusty, though.” Wylan looked up at Kaz who was taking another measured step towards him. Kaz knew that Wylan wasn’t rusty at all, that he was just saying that because he wasn’t sure whether it was a good idea or not.

“You can practise at the club. The nights will get colder.”

“Alright.” It was all the convincing he needed apparently. “Just need to pack up my stuff.”

“Take whatever you need right now, and I’ll send someone to get everything else, especially the chemicals.” They might come in handy at one point, because as much as he needed Wylan on the piano for the next job, he might need his other talents in the future.

“Just tell them to be careful then.” Big eyes looked up at Kaz, because Wylan really didn’t want anything to happen to anyone while they handled these bottles and everything else.

Kaz nodded and waited for Wylan to pack whatever he needed, before he left the building with him, taking him to what was hopefully becoming his new home. But even if it was just temporary or for the winter, Wylan would be grateful, because it meant surviving, it meant some food and a safe spot to rest his head.

“You!” Jesper almost gasped when he opened the door to bring some food to the new guy. Kaz had brought him in through the back door and shuffled him upstairs so that nobody saw Wylan, and then he’d sent Jesper to take some stuff upstairs, some food, water, towels, whatever Wylan needed to settle in. Kaz may look and act like he had a heart of stone and only cared about money, but in fact, he took really good care of the people around him, though he might not always show it that openly. Jesper knew him long and well enough though, knew that the new guy wasn’t just someone they needed, but also someone Kaz wanted around, though he didn’t know what it was about him.

Wylan scooted back from the door, away from Jesper a little bit, startled by his tone of voice and his appearance - though Jesper had had the decency to knock before he’d entered the room. Wylan recognised him straight away, the guy from the alley that he’d run away from. Well, he couldn’t have known that he was with Kaz, but even if he had known that, he would have probably run for his life.

“Why did you run?” The question he was most curious about. Or the second most curious about, but he was so flustered, which wasn’t normal for Jesper, that he had to ask that first as he put down the plate and water, handed the towels to Wylan, waiting for him to take them.

“I…” He licked his dry lips as he took the towels, having that same feeling he’d had in the alley earlier when looking at the other one, his pulse quickening and his stomach doing this weird thing he rather didn’t want to think about. Big eyes looked back up at Jesper as he spoke. “I didn’t know who you were or what you wanted so it was safer to run and hide.”

Jesper’s brows rose on his forehead and he pressed his lips together. Fair enough, he thought. You could never be careful enough. And someone looking like Wylan was an easy target. Though, if he put his mind to it, he could probably learn to flirt his way out of every situation with those plush lips and big eyes surrounded by lashes that were so long that every woman would get jealous. Jesper could at least see himself falling under Wylan’s spell easily, and he didn’t even have to do anything for that to happen. Instead of following down that road, he straightened a little again and crossed his arms, completely forgetting what else he’d wanted to ask Wylan.

“Alright. Eat up and you can take a bath next door. Get some sleep as well and Kaz wants us all to talk tomorrow when we’ve all had some rest.” He’d put it that way, but Jesper knew that he had mainly been talking about Wylan, and he could see why. Some food, a bath and a good night’s sleep would probably work wonders for him.

“Thank you…?” Wylan looked up at him expectantly, since he hadn’t caught his name yet, and since they would be working together, it was probably good to find that out.

“Oh. Jesper.”

“I’m Wylan.”

“I know.” Jesper gave him a lopsided grin before he bowed a little, sent him a wink. “Get some rest, Wylan.”

Wylan caught himself staring at the closed door for a moment longer, trying to figure out what was going on inside him. Oh, deep down he knew what it was, thought that his voice sounded familiar in a way, but he didn’t allow himself to believe in this. So, instead he turned to his food and filled his stomach before he took a much needed bath.

The bathroom was small and dimly lit, and yet, Wylan relaxed for the first time since leaving his home when he settled in the hot water. Finally, he felt his bones warm up as well, the muffled sounds from outside showing him that he wasn’t alone, but that it wasn’t that kind of noise that made you stand on edge, because someone might come after him any moment now. Weirdly enough, he felt safe here, knowing instinctively that not only Kaz but the others as well would look out for him. His fingertips trailed over the surface of the steaming water, his wet hair pushed back from his face, as he began singing quietly. “When I look into your eyes, I free myself of all my lies. Bare to you my soul and bone, knowing I have found my-”

“Home.” Jesper mumbled this one word, staring straight ahead, everything else around him drowned out completely. All the noises from the club, the people around him. Slowly his eyes found Inej’s again, who looked at him a little lost.

“What are you on about?”

“Did someone just sing in here?”

“No? There isn’t anyone singing here, so what - oh my God, it’s not just humming anymore, is it?” The triumphant smile on her lips almost made Jesper roll his eyes and leave her sitting there all by herself. But by now, he realised or at least allowed himself to believe that she was onto something here. That he wasn’t sick, but that it really had something to do with this whole soulmate thing. And the voice sounded familiar, but still different in a way, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Same melody, but with lyrics this time. It’s… I feel like I know that voice.” And he had no idea just where he’d heard that voice before. Maybe because he hadn’t heard that person sing yet.

“This is Wylan,” Kaz introduced him the following day to the rest of the group. “He’ll help us get what Pekka Rollins stole from us back.” Wylan still didn’t know what it was, nor did he really want to know, because when it came to Kaz Brekker, it could be pretty much anything.

“And how is that supposed to work? How do you know he’s not working for Pekka?” It was Jesper who spoke up, who crossed his arms over his chest and cast a quick glance at Wylan, who immediately avoided eye contact. Not because he didn’t want to look at Jesper or because he had a guilty conscience, but because of the things Jesper made him feel. He had his suspicions why it was like that, but he pushed it away. It was understandable that they were weary of him. Wylan had felt the same way when he’d encountered Jesper the day before.

“Because Wylan has helped us before.” Kaz leaned on his cane and fixed Jesper with his gaze. “He’s an expert with chemicals.”

Now, a lot of things were falling into place for Jesper. He trusted Kaz, more than anyone else except for Inej maybe, but there were certain things Kaz didn’t talk about. Wylan was certainly one of those things, so it was no wonder Jesper hadn’t heard of him before, but at least he’d been able to see his work - that had now and then really saved their asses. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Inej looked up at Kaz, curious as well since he hadn’t told anyone what he had thought about, what he wanted them to do.

“Pekka Rollins is having a talent show, drawing in big names and all that, and that’s where Wylan comes in. I’ll register him and support him, be the face Pekka sees. Of course, he’ll get suspicious, but more of me than of what might be going on in the background. Wylan will certainly distract them with his playing and his singing.”

“Singing?” Wylan piqued up, eyes wide in surprise. They hadn’t talked about this, Kaz had only mentioned him playing piano, but of course he knew. How could Wylan have thought that he wouldn’t know that as well?

“Didn’t I mention that?” Of course he hadn’t, because he’d needed to lure Wylan in, and now that he was here, Kaz thought it easier to persuade him. “We need that kind of distraction and your voice on top of the piano will render them all speechless.” At least, Kaz was sure that it would work out this way. Wylan on the other hand wasn’t so sure. Yes, he’d played the flute and sung in the streets, and there had been the occasional appearances in the shopping mall where he’d used the piano that was standing there, and it had brought in some money for him. But he’d never actually played and sung in front of an audience that would pay that much attention and judge what he was doing on stage. Well, he’d never been on a proper stage as well, but Kaz believed that he could do that. Being here among the others, having a proper bed and some food to fill his stomach were things that he didn’t want to give up. At least not without trying.

“And you think Pekka will let you register?” Jesper raised a questioning eyebrow, trying to push his curiosity aside that Wylan was apparently able to play the piano and sing as well. I intrigued him to no ende, he had to admit, but right now, he had to focus on the plan.

“He already did. It’s already done, but of course he questioned me about it.” Kaz pulled up one of the chairs and sat down, leaning back a little. “I know he’ll be watching me, and I want Wylan to practise here, maybe even get word out to Pekka, so he’ll focus on that, on us, so that you-” He looked at the other four in the room, including Nina and Matthias that he needed for this little project or job whatever you wanted to call it “-can get back what is rightfully ours. Inej will fill you in on everything.” So that Kaz could retreat with Wylan and be seen with him as well, setting the perfect distraction for Rollins.

They went their separate ways, the other four to talk strategy, to be filled in by Inej, while Kaz took Wylan with him to sit him in front of a piano.

“Have you thought about what to play yet?”

“I’m not sure.” Wylan got comfortable on the piano bench, the room empty except for the two of them, making Wylan feel a little more at ease. There was so much happening all at once, and he was always doubting himself, now wasn’t an exception, but Kaz apparently believed in him, and that at least lifted his spirits a little.

“Look.” Kaz took a step towards him, lay his arm on the piano, his gloved fingers stroking slowly over the wooden surface. “I know that you can do it. Of course you could choose a cover song, but your own song would definitely work better.”

Wylan’s heart started beating against his ribs at that. Yes, he’d played a part of that before, had played and hummed the melody hundreds of times, had even sung it last night when he’d been alone, but he wasn’t sure whether he could sing that in front of other people who were properly listening to him.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that, if I’m good enough.”

“You’re much better than you think you are, you just have to believe in yourself. I certainly do.”

Kaz didn’t wait for a reaction or some kind of answer, he simply turned around and left Wylan alone to practise and make up his mind. Kaz had high hopes that Wylan would decide to play his own music instead of something someone else had written. There was nothing wrong with that, and Wylan’s voice sounded beautiful, almost ethereal no matter what, but something that he’d come up with himself carried way more meaning and feeling, and that was what would wow the audiences. Maybe it was a bit about winning that contest for Kaz as well, to show Pekka Rollins that he could beat him there as well.

Wylan set to work and practised on the piano. He had to admit that it felt incredibly good to be sitting on a piano again, properly this time and not just for a few moments. It was warm here, he had everything he needed, and he didn’t need to worry about anyone shooing him away from the instrument because he didn’t deserve to play, no matter how good he was. And he was good, better than good actually, because he’d learned a lot from his mother. He wasn’t as rusty as he’d led Kaz to believe, it had just been a way to weave himself out of that situation, because he’d been unsure whether it was a good idea or not. In the end, having a place to stay and some food, people that he could feel safe around, was definitely worth making music. After all, he loved it, because it was a part of him that still connected him with his mother. Music conveyed so much, so many emotions, so many thoughts and feelings that you wanted to show others, wanted to make them feel.

This time, he didn’t hum along or sing, just concentrated on playing, but something distracted him, slowed down his playing. Laughter. Clear and bright in his head, and the most beautiful sound. He’d heard it before, a couple of times, for months now, but this time, it suddenly stopped in time with the door to the room opening. And Wylan knew why it had stopped: Because he could hear it in person now. His heart leapt in his chest when he saw just who was laughing while walking next to Inej into the room. Jesper Fahey. Deep down, Wylan had probably known it the moment he’d laid eyes on Jesper, at least deep down, as if he had been drawn to the other one. Yes, Jesper was an attractive man, there was no doubt about this, but it was so much more. It was about the way he carried himself, that lopsided smile, and the way he seemed to look right into Wylan’s soul when he looked at him, hsi eyes lingering longer than was probably appropriate.

He was catapulted back to reality when the laughter died down and he found himself faced with two pairs of curious eyes. Wylan’s cheeks turned a deep shade of pink, as if they both knew what he’d been thinking about, which was ridiculous, but he somehow felt like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, unable to move.

“Sorry, Wylan, we really didn’t want to stop you from playing.” Inej was the one to speak, while Jesper’s eyes seemed to be glued to Wylan, on his expressive face, the blushed cheeks that he wanted to touch so badly right now. Jesper had no idea where this was coming from, but he couldn’t deny that Wylan fascinated and captivated him in a way nobody else had done so far. Sure, he’d had his fun with quite a few people, beautiful people at that, but Wylan still had a different kind of effect on him.

“It’s okay. Really. I was done with the piece anyway.” A lie, and not a good one, but he was still trying to calm his racing heart, his fingers slightly shaky from the realisation that it was Jesper’s laughter he’d been hearing all this time.

“Oh,” Jesper managed to say, usually so talkative, but right now a bit lost for words, and it was all due to Wylan. “We were kind of hoping to hear you play.”

“Just a little bit?” Inej sent him a hopeful smile, tilting her head to the side, trying to persuade him. Wylan looked between the two, and since he was someone who always wanted to make others smile, give them what they wanted, he caved. Well, maybe playing would give him a bit of distraction. But he wouldn’t play just what he’d played before, instead he would opt for something his mother had taught him.

“Alright. Let’s see if I can still get that together. It’s a piece my mother taught me.” He pushed his locks back from his forehead and rubbed his hands together before he laid his fingers on the piano keys. After taking another deep breath, Wylan started to play. He easily got lost in the music, managed to play it from the get go. Not that anyone would probably notice straight away if he made a mistake, but he would know and it would bother him.

Mesmerised didn’t even begin to describe how Jesper felt. His eyes were drawn to Wylan, first to his hands and then to his concentrated face, that still looked completely at ease in this situation. His eyes closed every now and then, feeling the music, and Jesper… Jesper felt something slot into place inside him. He didn’t know what it was exactly - or rather didn’t want to think about what it was in the end. What he wasn’t prepared for was the impact Wylan had on him when their eyes met at the end of the song. The last notes were hanging in the air, their eyes locked on each other, and everything inside Jesper ached to get closer to Wylan, take his hands and pull him close. It was scary in a way, but wonderful at the same time to feel like this. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, and it had everything to do with the man playing piano right in front of them.

“That was-” Inej started, but Jesper interrupted.

“Beautiful.” His eyes were still lingering on Wylan until he shook his head just slightly, pulling himself back together. “You’re really gonna blow them away, especially if you do sing as well.” Not that Jesper had heard him sing yet, but if Kaz was as right about his singing as he was about his playing, Wylan would leave them all speechless. Maybe, Jesper would get the chance to hear him sing before that evening.

“Thank you.” Wylan blushed again at the praise, turning his head a little to the side to hide that and the smile appearing on his lips. He needed a moment before he got up from the bench. “I should probably… get something to eat.” Because it was necessary, because he was hungry, and because it was there right in front of him more or less. He wasn’t wolfing down food, he ate normally, just maybe a bit more often than usual, because his body was still craving the food. But he was always very considerate, getting a snack here and there, and right now, it was a good excuse to get out of this situation, give himself a moment to progress what he’d just realised, no matter that he’d kind of felt it before already.

“You should. And thank you for that little demonstration.” Inej smiled at him, still in awe of his talent, but also curious about something else, since she’d never seen Jesper like this.

“You’re welcome.” He bowed with a little, honest smile, before leaving the room, finally able to breathe properly again, but his heart was still beating rapidly in his chest.

When Jesper wanted to follow Wylan out of the room, Inej caught his wrist in her hand and stopped him.

“Oh you like him!” she whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear, but she couldn’t stop herself from saying this.

“Well…” Jesper stopped in his tracks, licked his suddenly dry lips, but didn’t look at his friend. “Let’s say, I’m intrigued by him.”

“Oh, so it’s deeper than just liking him.” She’d seen Jesper when he’d liked someone, when he’d wanted someone for himself, but this… this was different. The soft expression on his face when he’d watched Wylan hadn’t been lost on her. Still, she didn’t want him to feel pushed into a corner, because then his fight or flight mode might kick in, and she didn’t want that to happen. “But I have to admit, he is rather intriguing. Especially when you see him on the piano and know now what he can do with chemicals.”

“Oh yes.” And that was the most fascinating part, the duality of him, this soft, sweet person that played the piano and put people under his spell like this, and the other one that mixed chemicals and helped them steal and get away with it. Yes, Jesper was intrigued, fascinated even, and something else he didn’t want to say out loud.

Throughout the days, they met up, talked, shared food, and Wylan fit in better and better, felt more at home than he had done in his own home since losing his mother. It wasn’t about the place, but about the people he was with. Nina always made sure that he was eating enough, and since she’d snuck in to listen to him play the piano and Wylan had caught her, he kept asking her to join him. At one point. Matthias joined as well, and he was also the one going with him when he needed something. Nobody knew what Pekka would do to get Kaz and Wylan out of his contest, so it was better to be safe than sorry. Wylan had to admit that he really liked having Matthias around, and not just because he felt safe with him around, but also because they had some wonderful conversations. Even to the others, Matthias had said: “Don’t worry, I’ll protect this little lamb.” At first, Wylan hadn’t known what to think of that, but by now, he really liked being called that by Matthias, because it showed that he cared. Something that Wylan still had to get used to a little bit.

They were enjoying dinner, swapping stories, and there it was again, that heart-warming laughter that made his heart skip a beat or two. He’d heard it a couple of times in his head again, but hearing it in person was something else entirely, sent a shiver down his back and made him feel all warm and fuzzy. Jesper had a hold on him without even realising it, and it was probably better this way. Maybe it was just one-sided anyway? Who knew, because he’d heard about people thinking they had found their soulmate, but that person found someone else in the end, or never heard any laughter at all.

What eventually drove that feeling home was that there was no discernible reaction from Jesper when someone made Wylan laugh. Well, it was more of a giggle, but definitely loud enough for everyone to hear - and they hadn’t heard Wylan like that before. Yes, Jesper looked his way, but just like everyone else. Wylan’s giggle died down, and his eyes met Jesper’s, who was wearing a soft smile on his lips. He quickly cast his eyes down, taking a deep breath, before he excused himself to get some fresh air. The wine was getting a bit to his head - at least that was a good excuse for him to really head outside.

Wylan stepped to the side and leaned against the wall of the building taking a few deep breaths. His head was spinning a little due to the mix of alcohol in his system and the cool air hitting his skin and filling his lungs. Was he maybe getting a bit too comfortable here? Would all this be over once he’d done his part in Kaz’s plan?

“Everything alright?” Wylan’s eyes opened again when he heard the - by now - familiar voice, that smooth tone that made the hairs on his arms stand up and his heart give a hard pang against his ribs. Jesper put up the collar of his coat and stepped closer, rubbing his hands together against the cold. Seeing him like that, Wylan realised that he had forgotten to take his jacket with him. Maybe, because it was still up in his room, since he hadn’t needed it today so far.

“Yes, just needed some fresh air.” Wylan pushed himself off the wall again to stand a little taller, but he’d never be as tall as Jesper. Though, admittedly, he definitely liked looking up at him a little. He wouldn’t tell Jesper that he was part of the reason he had needed to get outside.

“But you’re not feeling dizzy or anything?” Jesper was a little worried about him, he had to admit. Wylan hadn’t had that much to drink, but he still wanted to make sure that he was alright. In addition, it gave them a moment alone, and Jesper the chance to study him without anyone watching them, since he couldn’t get enough of seeing that slight flush on Wylan’s cheeks. It was probably due to the alcohol and the cold air as well, but it looked way too good on him, made him want to deepen that colour, just like he’d done before when he’d heard him play the piano together with Inej.

“No need to worry about me, honestly.” He looked up at Jesper through thick, black lashes, before he had to chuckle a little. “Are you worried someone will snatch me away while I’m out here alone?”

“Maybe.” Jesper’s eyes drifted to Wylan’s lips, then back up to these intense eyes. “Would be a shame if I couldn’t look at that pretty face anymore.”

Wylan did this thing when he blushed, where he tilted his head, turned it to the side to try and hide his pretty face a little bit, and it was adorable. It also made Jesper want to grab his chin and turn his face back towards him so that he could kiss him senseless. And that was what he did - at least the first part. Gentle fingers reached for his chin to turn Wylan to face him, but he got distracted by the shiver that went through Wylan’s body, making him forget what he’d wanted to do because he started worrying about him again. Wylan’s eyes widened a little as Jesper’s hand fell away from him.

“Here, you must be freezing.” He shucked out of his coat to hand it to Wylan, who immediately shook his head, raised his hands to push the coat back at Jesper. “I insist.”

“But what about you?”

“Oh don’t worry about me, I’m naturally hot-blooded.” Jesper winked at him, followed it up with a little laugh. Carefully, he wrapped his coat around Wylan’s shoulders, putting up the collar and pulling him a bit closer like that.

“Thank you.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, his heart beating so fast in his chest, that he could hear the blood rushing in his head. Jesper’s scent was intoxicating, the way their breaths mingled in the cold air making him feel a little light-headed, and when he looked up, his eyes lingered on Jesper’s lips for a moment longer than was probably appropriate. But when he cast his eyes further upwards, he was rather sure that Jesper had looked at his lips as well.

“You’re welcome.” Jesper’s fingers lingered a moment longer on the collar of his coat, before he cleared his throat and took a step back from Wylan. It was safer that way, because as much as he wanted to kiss him stupid, feel those soft lips beneath his own, he knew that it probably wasn’t a wise choice to do that. He may be a gambler, but he knew that this job was important, and he didn’t want to risk anything. Not when he couldn’t be sure whether Wylan wanted this as well or not. Not when Jesper was usually a guy for just one night, but Wylan… well, he definitely deserved more than just that.

“Are you coming back inside or do you want to freeze your asses off?” Nina called over to them, stopping in her tracks when she saw how close they stood together. Oh, she’d interrupted something there, she was sure of it. Especially when she saw Wylan’s flushed cheeks and the way he quickly averted his gaze.

“Yes, on our way.” Wylan called back to her and straightened a little more, setting into motion towards the door, only to realise Jesper wasn’t following him. So, he turned back around to look at him. “Jesper?”

“Gimme another minute.” He pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and took a deep breath. When Wylan started to shrug out of his coat, he quickly stopped him. “Keep it. It looks way too good on you.” It may have been a bit too big on him, but he still liked seeing it on Wylan, and he’d realised that the jacket Wylan wore wouldn’t keep him warm when it got even colder. In addition, seeing Wylan wear something that belonged to him… it definitely had a certain effect on him, made the word mine appear in his head, even though he had no right to think or feel like this. Still, it was there.

“I can’t possibly accept that.” His eyes widened, his chest tightened while his heart beat rapidly against his ribs. Wylan wasn’t used to this, to people being nice to him, to being taken care of like this. Getting gifted something like this was in fact a little overwhelming for him.

“Yes you can. I have a few more like that, and you’ll need it when it gets even colder. And you can wear it on the big evening.” Not that Jesper had anything to say against Wylan’s clothes, he was especially a fan of those suspenders he sometimes wore, but he knew that Pekka Rollins would have an eye on Wylan, and that meant they had to plan the perfect outfit for the contest. 

“That’s…” awfully sweet. Wylan shook his head just slightly, the smile returning to his lips as he looked up at Jesper again. “Thank you.”

Jesper watched him go back into the building, cuddling into the coat he was wearing. Where it had hit Jesper around the back of his knees, it hit Wylan around mid-calf. Wylan had him in a chokehold without even trying, he realised that, but honestly? He didn’t really mind, because Wylan was endlessly fascinating to him, and he couldn’t wait to peel away layer after layer and find out what else there was to know about him.

Jesper needed another fifteen minutes until he came back inside. For the rest of the evening, his eyes wandered to Wylan time and time again, watched and listened to him talk and laugh - and he felt something warm spread inside him. Wylan fit in so well with the rest of them, and Jesper found himself hoping that Wylan would stay once they were finished with the contest, with their job.

Meanwhile, Nina kept an eye on both of them, to make sure that her suspicions were correct, that she wasn’t just seeing things. And she wasn’t disappointed, could see each of them stealing glances at one another. She’d known Jesper for a while now, had seen him flirt a lot of people into a corner. People he’d had his fun with, but the way he looked at Wylan was completely different. So utterly soft, she’d never seen him like that. As for Wylan, he’d quickly occupied a place in her heart. So Nina took it upon her to take a  tipsy Wylan up the stairs and to his room once they all decided to head to bed. She kissed Matthias and told him she’d join him in a moment, but that she wanted to make sure Wylan got up okay. He wasn’t drunk, just tipsy, and he would have been able to do that by himself, but she wanted to have a moment with him.

“You got your water right here, love, so I think you’ll be alright for the night.” She fluffed up the pillow for him and sat down on the chair opposite his bed. The room wasn’t big, but it was cosy, and tidy. Wylan was slowly shrugging out of the coat Jesper had given him, folding it neatly so that he could lay it down. He’d take extra care of this piece of clothing, because it was something special for him.

“Thanks, Nina.” He rubbed his palms over his eyes, before running his fingers through his hair, leaving it a bit dishevelled. Slowly, he settled down on his bed, towing off his boots, for once not caring where they ended up, because he was getting more and more tired, the wine doing its part as well.

“It was a great evening, wasn’t it?” She kept her eyes on him, a soft smile on her lips, when Wylan slowly stretched out on the bed.

“It was. Wonderful. But…” 

“But what?” Nina leaned forward a little, an amused smile on her lips as she kept watching him. She was rather sure that she knew what was on his mind.

“Nothing…”

“It’s Jesper, isn’t it?”

Wylan sat up so fast his head started spinning, so he had to lay down again, closing his eyes against the slight dizziness.

“I’m sorry, I interrupted that moment between you two. I had no idea.” But she’d seen the way they’d looked at each other, had seen the longing in Wylan’s eyes.

“Nothing happened. And it probably won’t anyway. I mean…” A soft sigh escaped his lips as he turned onto the side so he could look at Nina. If he could talk to anyone about this, it was her. “I heard his laughter, and when I first saw him, there was this feeling, I can’t even describe.” Underneath the fear that Jesper had been looking for him to kill him, there had been this warm fuzzy feeling inside him, a feeling of utter happiness, just like he’d had as a child when he’d heard the most wonderful melodies from his mother. A feeling of home that had only intensified the more he’d talked to Jesper. “But he doesn’t hear mine.”

“How do you know?”

“There isn’t the slightest recognition in his eyes when he hears me laugh.”

“Maybe it takes a little more time for him?” It could be after all. “And even if it’s not the case, you’re not bound by this, you know?”

“How was it for you?” Wylan hadn’t asked her so far, but he was curious, and if he was being honest, he could use a bit of a distraction from his own thoughts and feelings.

“Oh, we hated each other’s guts.” Nina couldn’t hold back a laugh at the memory, considering how they were acting now, how much love she felt for Matthias. “Kaz brought us together for a job, and we really didn’t like each other at first, but had to pretend to do so. And it was a constant fight over who was right, what the other was doing wrong, I was too vulgar, he was too stuck up.” She shook her head, a fond smile on her lips. “Then we got kinda stranded in a motel, about a year ago, and it was fucking cold, let me tell you. The heater didn’t work and Matthias let me have the bed and the blankets and said he’d sleep on the couch. In the middle of the night, I kinda pulled him into bed with me, because I didn’t want to tell Kaz that he froze to death because we couldn’t share a bed.” She still remembered how much she’d needed to persuade him, and in the end, he reluctantly stripped off his clothes - since body heat was the best way to keep each other warm, skin on skin contact doing a lot for them. “When we woke up, we were toasty warm and had our arms wrapped around each other. I made a stupid joke and he laughed. I joined right in with him, and I guess we both realised that we didn’t only hear the other one’s laugh in that moment, but had heard it before, and could feel it in our bodies as well. It was… strange and wonderful at the same time.” It was hard to describe, really, but she had a feeling Wylan knew exactly what she was talking about, at least judging by the smile that greased his lips right now. “We spent the whole day talking, only got up to get some food into our room. Been inseparable since.”

“That sounds wonderful, Nina. And I can see how much you mean to each other.”

“But it also shows that it’s not always easy right from the start, so don’t give up hope, alright? Promise me that. Jesper might still hear it at one point and realise it then.”

“I’ll try my best.” Because what else was there to do than hope that it would turn out alright? Especially with the tension between them that he’d felt earlier that still had his whole body buzzing a little, and made it difficult for Wylan to fall asleep straight away. But when he did fall asleep, he had a happy smile on his lips.

The next time Jesper caught Wylan alone, was when he was working with his chemicals. While Kaz had gotten him on the team to make music and serve as distraction, Wylan still had his chemicals in a special spot, in the building next to the Crow Club, where he could work and had his peace and quiet. Because they might need his help in that regard as well, and because he knew that Wylan did this to take his mind off things as well.

“Anybody here?” Jesper called ahead, knowing full well that Wylan was here, but making himself known so he wouldn’t get scared. Because that was one thing he’d noticed, that Wylan got frightened easily, and he knew that it was partly due to living on the streets, but he had a feeling, there was a bit more to it.

“Jesper?” Wylan looked up from the bottle in front of him and stepped back from the table. He took off the gloves, before pushing his hair from his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Kaz sent me to check up on you, see if you needed anything.” A lie. Kaz hadn’t done anything of the like, but Jesper knew that Wylan was here, that he could finally have a moment alone with him again. He couldn’t say just what he thought might happen, what he was hoping for, he just wanted to spend time with him without having to watch what he said or did, because someone else was around.

“I’m alright, I think I have everything I need.” Slowly, he nodded his head, looking up at Jesper, who came to a stop on the other side of the table. He saw the curious eyes flitting over the bottles, and when Jesper reached out his hand, Wylan quickly captured it with his own. “Better not touch… anything. Just to be safe.” His eyes were glued to their joined hands, to the way Jesper turned his hand so that he could hold Wylan’s in his own. His first instinct was to pull his hand back, but he didn’t. Couldn’t do it. Not when it felt so right and he felt the tingles move from his fingertips up to his elbow and further up until they spread through his whole body. How could something feel so good, so right, when they were not meant for each other? Maybe, Nina was right, and it took a bit longer for Jesper to hear him. Maybe not. But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

“Are you worried I might break something?”Jesper tilted his head a little, an amused little smile on his lips that hopefully didn’t give away how nervous he felt all of a sudden, how quick and hard his heart was beating inside his chest, because Wylan’s hand in his felt so incredibly right.

“I’m more worried that you might hurt yourself.”

“Oh, so you’re worried about me, hm?” Jesper pulled him a little closer by his hand, stroked his thumb over his wrist.

“Something like that.” Wylan carefully pulled his hand back and busied himself with arranging the bottles he’d just worked with, putting little stickers with pictures and musical notes on them to arrange them.

Jesper’s hand felt suddenly so cold when Wylan’s was gone, and he couldn’t hide the slight disappointment, though he had to say that it was probably for the best. After all, Wylan needed both hands to handle the bottles, right?

“You have a unique way of labelling your bottles. I kinda like that.”

“Easier for me, and it keeps people’s hands off them, since they don’t know what’s in them.”

“Fair enough.” Jesper smiled to himself, because that really came in handy. It was actually really clever of Wylan. He seemed to know an awful lot about a lot of things, and he was rather sure that he hadn’t learned to play the piano like that out on the streets. “Can I ask you… how did you end up on the streets?” His voice was soft, genuinely curious, not judging him at all, but he really wanted to know more about him.

Wylan stiffened slightly, his eyes glued to the bottles in front of him as he wet his lips with his tongue. He’d thought that the others might have known already, but apparently, Kaz had kept that to himself. Wylan knew, though, that if he wanted to stay here, he had to open up at one point, tell them his story.

“The short version is that I ran away from home.”

“And the long version? The details?” Because Wylan didn’t strike him as someone who just ran away from home because something wasn’t going the way he wanted it to.

“You mean the one where my father is embarrassed of me and doesn’t want me in the public eye, so he tried to get me killed?” Wylan only cast a quick glance at Jesper, before looking down again.

“What?” Disbelieving, Jesper looked him up and down, before he slowly started walking around the table. He wanted, needed to be closer to Wylan. “Why would he be embarrassed of you?” It didn’t make sense to him, not at all, because Wylan was so talented, so wonderful altogether that he couldn’t see why his father was thinking that way.

Wylan took a deep breath, grabbed the edge of the table to have something to hold onto. It wasn’t an easy topic for him, but he also knew that it didn’t make sense to keep it secret, especially because it would come out eventually.

“My father is Jan van Eck.” Slowly, he looked up, could see the recognition in Jesper’s eyes. It was a well-known name, a name associated with money, so that Wylan had run away from that was something nobody understood who didn’t know the whole story. “And he needs an heir to present to the public, someone who’s not dumb like me.”

“Wylan, you are anything but dumb.” Jesper couldn’t believe what he was hearing, stepped up to him and carefully put his hands on Wylan’s upper arms.

“Jesper, I can’t even read!” It came out louder than he’d wanted to, and it took everything in him to not turn around and bolt. It wouldn’t do any good, because he’d still have to face Jesper later on, so he could just stay here and face him, see the pity, the disgust in his eyes.

“Oh.” Nothing more came over his lips in the first moment, as Jesper tried to process what Wylan had just let him know. It didn’t really make sense at first, but then he realised the way Wylan had labelled his bottles, that he’d never written anything down except for musical notes. It didn’t change what kind of person he was, though, still endlessly fascinating for Jesper, with a warm and open heart. “That doesn’t make you dumb, Wylan.” He raised his right hand from Wylan’s upper arm, cupped his cheek to make him look up at him. “That doesn’t change who you are as a person and what you are capable of, alright. It doesn’t define you.” Just like his gambling addiction didn’t define him, didn’t make him a bad person.

“He thinks so, though.” For once, Wylan didn’t pull back and instead tilted his head a little into Jesper’s touch.

“Well, then he’s a goddamn idiot.” Jesper rolled his eyes, rubbed his thumb gently over Wylan’s cheek, enjoying the warmth that spread through his hand and along his arm. He grinned down at Wylan for a moment, before his expression softened again. “Is that… why he tried to get you killed?”

“Yeah.” Wylan bit his bottom lip, cast his eyes downward for a moment, before looking back up at Jesper, taken aback by the soft look, the slight worry in his eyes. “He tried to do that at home, and he sent people after me to get rid of me.”

“That explains even more why you were so scared and ran away when we met for the first time.” That time when Jesper had followed the melody Wylan had played, that had lured him in at that moment. Jesper only took his hand off Wylan’s cheek to pull him into his arms, wrapping them around his body to hold him close, even if just for a moment. “You’re safe with us, you know that, right? Crows watch out for each other.”

“Mhm,” Wylan mumbled against his chest, closing his eyes as his own arms wrapped loosely around Jesper. He knew that, felt it whenever he was around them, but Jesper elicited even more than that feeling of safety inside him. Right now, he gave in to the wish to be close to him, allowed himself to believe that he could have more of this, but he also knew that it was just a momentary state.That Jesper was comforting him, nothing more.

“Wylan.” Kaz’s voice rang through the room, making both of them almost jump apart. Their eyes locked for a moment and Jesper was surprised by the shy smile on his own lips, while Wylan looked once again like he’d been caught stealing. It was adorable really.

“Jesper, what are you doing here?” Kaz walked up to them, either ignoring what he’d just seen or he hadn’t seen it at all.

“I was just making sure Wylan had everything he needed. Checking if he needed some food or anything, boss.” Jesper took another step back to make room for Kaz.

“Inej is looking for you. Go through the plan with her once more, and then we’ll talk strategy tonight. It’s only two more days.”

“Right, boss.” He craned his neck to get another look at Wylan, smiling at him. “Tell me if you need anything.”

“Will do.” Though Wylan was rather sure that it was cleverer to stay away from Jesper or at least not be alone with him, because it was getting increasingly difficult to not just kiss him whenever he got close.

It was the evening before the contest, before they would set their plan into motion, and everyone was doing the last bits and pieces so that they were all set to get going. Jesper knew what his job was, knew what he had to do, but there was something or rather someone else on his mind that made him a little restless.

“He’s practising.” Inej shot him a look, before she returned her attention to her knives, putting them in order before she cleaned them once more.

“Hm?” Playing dumb, he looked at her, his heart skipping a beat at being caught like that.

“Oh you know who I’m talking about.” She rolled her eyes, took the first knife in hand. “Kaz will be gone a little longer. Take some water with you when you go to Wylan.”

While he wanted to protest, he knew that it didn’t make sense. Inej knew him better than anyone, had realised first that Wylan had caught Jesper’s interest, and she could completely understand why. So, instead of telling lies, he walked over to her to place a kiss on her head, before he grabbed some water and headed towards the room where Wylan was playing the piano. He’d caught glimpses of the music he made, had listened to the song his mother had taught him, and he’d felt like he’d been caught in some kind of spell. This time, though, it was a bit different.

When he neared the room, he could hear the music filtering into the hallway. At first, he thought it was just a pretty melody, but then he felt like he recognised it. His feet slowed when he got closer to the door, his heart already beating faster in his chest, as the realisation began to set in. He heard that angelic voice in his head, but also through the door. Maybe, Jesper had known it all along deep down, had been hoping for this, even though he didn’t believe in soulmates, but with Wylan, there was something between them, and that certainly explained why. Very carefully, because he didn’t want to startle Wylan, to make him stop playing, he opened the door. He needn’t have worried, because Wylan was so immersed in his music, in singing, that he would have probably not realised the whole crew stumbling into the room. Jesper felt his heart beat against his ribs, as if it wanted to break out of there and run right over to Wylan. His voice was so crisp and clear, soothing at the same time. It was the most beautiful sound Jesper had ever heard, a sound that filled him with joy, and a beat that made his heart follow it, only to end up right in Wylan’s hands. And Wylan didn’t even know about it, what kind of power his voice held over him.

“Knowing I have found… my home.” Wylan’s voice dropped at the end, while Jesper mouthed the line right along, knowing the lyrics, because he’d heard them before. In his head. But this, hearing it in person and with the melody that had been haunting him for weeks, months even, was something else. He’d never believed in soulmates, hadn’t wanted to believe in something like that, thinking that it made him vulnerable.

“Beautiful,” Jesper heard himself say out loud as he stepped up to the piano, not able to stay this far away from Wylan anymore right now. Wylan on the other hand, jumped a little, because he really hadn’t heard him come in. Eyes wide in mild shock, he looked at Jesper, turned a little on the piano bench. God, his hair always looked a little dishevelled, inviting Jesper to run his fingers through it, but right now, he knew that any sudden or unexpected movement would probably make Wylan scoot further away from him.

“I didn’t hear you come in. Need anything?” He felt vulnerable, not sure just how much Jesper had heard, because he might have inspired some of the lyrics in the song, and Wylan wasn’t ready to reveal that to him. But Jesper had a way of getting him to talk, like he’d proven in his little laboratory if he could call it that, and so Wylan knew that Jesper would probably get that out of him.

“No, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” Placing the bottle of water next to the piano, Jesper gestured for Wylan to scoot over a little bit, and he followed. Slowly, he sat down on the bench next to Wylan, their thighs touching due to the limited room, and he felt Wylan’s warmth seep into his own skin, setting his heart aflutter. “You gonna play this song tomorrow?”

“That’s the plan.” Wylan kept his eyes on the piano keys, biting his bottom lip.

“I think it’s a wonderful choice.” Jesper raised his left hand, letting his ringed fingers slowly stroke over the white keys, pressing one down, then the next. He didn’t know how to play, but he would gladly watch Wylan do so, maybe even learn a bit from him so they could play together. “Kaz is right, your voice will blow them away.” Jesper cast a glance at Wylan, could see the corners of his mouth slowly turn up into a smile. “I’ve heard that melody before.”

“I played that on the flute when you saw me in that alley.”

“Yeah, it caught my attention, and I just had to follow that melody, see where it came from.” He pressed another piano key down, realised that Wylan’s hands joined his, and he started playing the melody quietly again. “But I heard it even before then. And then I heard it again and again.” he wanted Wylan to know, wanted to tell him, but it was difficult for him to say something like this out loud. In fact, telling him I think you’re my soulmate sounded really strange to him, and how could he be sure that it was the same for Wylan? Jesper had laughed often and loudly even with Wylan in the room, and there had never been any sort of recognition on his side as far as he could tell. Breaching the subject carefully, slowly, sounded better to him.

“What do you mean?” Wylan couldn’t really follow. Sure, Jesper might have heard the melody before that first kind of meeting, but afterwards… he’d played it a couple of times here, yes, but as far as he knew Jesper hadn’t listened to him play. Nina and Matthias, yes, but not Jesper. Except if he’d heard the piano in the hallway.

“I-”

“Jesper! I’m so sorry.” Inej burst into the room, knowing that she was maybe interrupting something here, that Jesper wanted to have this time with Wylan, but this couldn’t wait. “I would really like to give you some more time here, but there’s a change to our plan tomorrow, and we need to discuss that now. Kaz just got back.”

Perfect timing.

“Do you need me to come as well?” Wylan looked a little frazzled, but Inej’s smile soothed that a bit, made him settle back down. 

“No, you can just keep playing. Nothing’s gonna change for you.”

“Alright.” Jesper heaved a sigh as he got up from the bench, giving Wylan’s hand a soft squeeze in parting, because he just couldn’t resist doing that. “Talk later?”

“Yes.” Wylan managed to smile up at him, his heart and his head still spinning a little bit, trying to make sense out of Jesper’s words, but not really successful at doing so.

But later never came. At least not like that. Of course, they all sat together, talked, enjoyed their food, and laughed together, but there was no chance for them to talk alone and pick up their conversation again. They exchanged glances, a lot of them, but when it got late, Kaz sent them all to bed, as if they were children that needed to be reminded when their bed-time was. As for Wylan, he really wanted him to get enough sleep and get ready for his performance the next day. He could have sworn that Kaz was standing guard in front of his door so that nobody disturbed his sleep. Still, even with nobody knocking on his door, Wylan needed some time to fall asleep, mulling the conversation he’d had with Jesper over and over in his head.

The day had finally come and everybody knew what their jobs were. They only managed to have a quick breakfast together before everybody had to go their way, which left Wylan with Kaz. They went over the plan once more, Kaz listened to him play and sing, and Wylan could have sworn that he saw something akin to a smile on his lips when he finished the song. It was probably because Kaz was so sure of his plan working out. Once this was done, he sent Wylan to get changed. It was a mix of his own clothes - the suspenders for example were Wylan’s, as was the white shirt that had gotten a good wash - and something Kaz had gotten for him, like the new shoes and the bowtie. Jesper’s coat that now belonged to Wylan completed the look when they left the building.

“You’re gonna do great, Wylan. You have to believe in yourself a little more.” Kaz didn’t look at him when they stepped up to Rollins’ club later on, but he knew that he meant what he was saying. And he was right, Wylan really needed to believe in himself when he wanted to make this work. He’d been working on that, but what had really helped build his confidence, had been the people around him. Matthias who watched out for him and made sure that nothing happened to him, Nina who always took care that he ate enough, who listened to him talk, and told him the most wonderful stories. Inej who had looked at him in awe the first time she’d heard him play. Kaz who’d taken him under his wing, and who’d put him in this contest confident enough that Wylan could win against anyone who was competing. And then Jesper. Jesper who made his heart beat faster, his stomach do one somersault after the other with merely existing. They all treated him like one of them, like he belonged into their little found family. He had to do this, had to win this for them.

“Brekker, you really think you have a chance?” Pekka Rollins sneered, looking from Kaz to Wylan and back. If it weren’t for Kaz, Wylan would feel intimidated, but Kaz stood like a shield between them.

“I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t sure of that, Rollins.” Kaz leaned forward onto his cane, getting into Rollins’ space for a moment, before he pulled back again.

“I know you’re onto something.”

“If you find out what that is, let me know. I’m just here to win your little contest and annoy the hell out of you with that.” It was definitely enough to rile Pekka Rollins up, he knew that, but he also knew that he would keep an eye out for everyone else on Kaz's team.

Wylan didn’t understand what Rollins was mumbling into his beard, and it was probably better this way. He needed to concentrate on the contest - and on not getting intimidated by the sheer size of the crowd.

“You’ll do fine, don’t worry.” Kaz seemed to sense what was going through Wylan’s mind, or maybe he picked up on his slightly fidgety hands. Whatever it was, it managed to soothe Wylan a little bit.

Kaz seemed to be completely at ease here, ignoring Pekka Rollins’ eyes that darted to him again and again. He only took a look at his watch every now and then, applauded the contestants, until it was time for them to head behind the stage to get Wylan ready. Kaz took the coat off him and looked him over once more.

“Show them what you’re made of.” Kaz nodded at him, before he sent him onto the stage.

Wylan’s heart was beating so fast, he thought everyone would hear it, that it might just hop out of his body and run away. But that was something he wouldn’t do in person. Not when everyone was counting on him to do his part. And so, he settled down on the piano, closed his eyes for a moment and thought of the people he was doing that for. Slowly, but surely, a smile appeared on his lips. A smile that widened when his thoughts stopped on Jesper. On the way he looked at him, the way his hands felt against his skin. And so, with that in mind, thinking of Jesper, he started playing.

He played his heart out, the lyrics all the more meaningful because he was thinking about the one person who made the place he was in now a home for him. Everyone had done their part in this, had made him feel welcome, but it was Jesper who had an effect on him that he couldn’t put into words. It felt like an eternity and a fraction of a second at the same time until he was finished. The last notes died down and Wylan opened his eyes to look at the crowd, and all of a sudden, he realised that they were clapping, getting up from their seats, yelling his praise. It was overwhelming, and yet, someone was missing to celebrate this. He knew that this was just their cover, but it still felt like a huge accomplishment for him, that he wanted to share with the others.

“How are you feeling?” Kaz asked him when he stepped down from the stage and they could go back to their table.

“I… feel like my whole body is buzzing.” Wylan couldn’t stop smiling as he sat down.

“I’m really proud of you.” And those were the last words Kaz said to him, making him beam. It filled his heart with joy that he felt that way, that he had played his part well. In the end, it didn’t matter whether Wylan would win or not, because the others were hopefully successful as well.

Still, Kaz and him had to stay until the end of the contest, until they called out the winner, and Wylan tried not to get antsy. He had only been the man in the background now and then, not part of the actual plan, so he had no idea whether they communicated in between or not. Kaz on the other hand seemed to be as cool as always, but that could just be facade. Wylan couldn’t know, and so they sat and waited - until Wylan was called up as the winner of the contest.

He needed a moment to realise that it was really his name being called, and Kaz had to nudge him with his cane to get him to stand up. A little shaky on his legs, he walked up to the stage to accept his prize, give a little thank you, because he wasn’t able to do or say more, and then the party was on. Just the right time for Kaz and him to get away, right? Wylan made his way down the stage and over to Kaz again, offering him the envelope with the money.

“This is yours, Wylan. Keep it.”

“But you-”

“No, it’s all yours. You did the work and won with your song.”

“Kaz.”

Both of them turned, a little surprised and at the same time alarmed when they saw Inej. The look on her face was rather telling.

“What’s going on?” Kaz looked her over, seeing no injuries on her, he allowed himself to breathe. Wylan on the other hand felt his stomach drop.

“We did it, don’t worry.” But deep down, she knew that it wasn’t the job he was worried about. It was what she wasn’t telling him straight away.

“Let’s get out.” Kaz lead the way, watching out the Pekka didn’t catch a glimpse of them, because he knew that he would let someone follow them, and Kaz really didn’t want or need that to happen.

“Speak,” Kaz said as soon as they were far away from the club, already on their way to the Crow Club, to their home.

“It’s Jesper. He fell and hit his head.” Inej cast a quick glance at Wylan before looking at Kaz again. Wylan’s heart sank, his throat felt like someone was squishing it together, making it hard for him to breath, but he had to keep up with them.

“How is he doing?”

“He’ll be fine, that’s what the doc said.” Before Kaz could reprimand her, she added: “No, we didn’t take him to the hospital. He’s got a bump on his head and needs some rest, and his wrist is hurt.”

“So, no major injuries. He’ll be fine.”

“Yes.” Inej looked at Wylan once more, hanging back behind Kaz so she could take Wylan’s hand, squeeze it in encouragement. “He really will be fine, okay? Some rest will do the trick, he just needs someone to watch over him, so that he doesn’t get up if there is no need.”

“Okay. I’ll do that.” Wylan didn’t even have to think about it. He wouldn’t be able to sit still or sleep at all anyway, so he’d much rather stay with Jesper, watching out for him.

When they got there, Wylan realised that he hadn’t been in Jesper’s room before. Jesper had been in his at the very beginning, but apart from that not at all. Wylan cast a look around, the bottle of water in his right hand. There were clothes strewn around, but it didn’t look messy like that, instead, that made the room all the more cosier. It showed that someone was living here who had a thing for nice clothes, who had maybe a bit too many clothes to fit into the closet. Wylan had to smile to himself as he approached the bed and pulled up a chair so he could sit down.

“Hey,” Jesper said as he opened his eyes, needing a moment to focus on Wylan, his voice a little gruff, because he’d just woken up.

“Hey… go back to sleep. You need it.” Wylan put the bottle down and scooted a bit closer to the bed. When Jesper reached for his hand, Wylan’s eyes widened a little, but he didn’t pull back. Apparently, he needed that kind of contact as well to be sure that Jesper was okay. That it was only a small injury that would heal in no time.

“Don’t wanna sleep. Not when I can talk to you instead.” There it was, that winning smile that Wylan loved to see on him, that always managed to elicit that fluttering feeling inside him.

“And here I was told that you need to rest.”

“I can rest later.” He pulled Wylan a bit closer by his hand, still smiling up at him as he placed Wylan’s hand on his chest, right above his heart, covering it with his own hand to keep it there.

“What happened?” Wylan asked quietly, feeling the warmth from Jesper’s chest seep into his hand, feeling his heart beat rapidly, just like his own. It felt like they were beating in sync.

“Well… I got a little distracted. Things like that happen.” Jesper squeezed his hand, not wanting to think about it, or tell him outright just why he got distracted, though he had a feeling that it would come out one way or another. “I heard you sing. You sounded even more beautiful than yesterday.”

“That’s… thank you.” Wylan cast his eyes down, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks, when something hit him and he looked back up at Jesper. “Wait, how could you hear me? You weren’t anywhere near.” It didn’t make sense, not at all.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you yesterday.” Jesper slowly tried to sit up, but Wylan was quick to push him back into the pillows. Jesper seized that moment to pull him into the bed, so that he could sit there. Normally, Wylan would protest, get up again, but with Jesper, he couldn’t, didn’t even want to, because being close to him like this soothed something deep inside him.

“What?” he asked quietly, his thumb beginning to stroke over his chest, the hand still caught against it by Jesper.

“I hear you sing even when you’re not in the same room. It started months ago, but it was only humming, that same melody over and over again. And then I heard your voice, but only those two lines.” Jesper pressed his lips together, looking down at their joined hands on his chest. Wylan had to feel how quick and hard his heart was beating for him, but he didn’t care. In fact, he wanted him to know. “Yesterday, it finally clicked and I realised that it was you all along. That I heard you. I didn’t hear your laughter, but something equally beautiful.” Slowly he raised Wylan’s hand to his lips to press a soft kiss to his palm.

Wylan’s heart skipped a few beats at the realisation. He’d been hoping for this, for Jesper being that person for him, that it wasn’t just one-sided. Now, it made sense that there hadn’t been any recognition on Jesper’s face when he’d heard Wylan laugh. It seemed to be different for him. While Wylan had heard his laughter, Jesper had heard his singing, something equally personal, especially with the lyrics being about him by now.

“Can you please… say something? I’m really not good with silences.”

“I heard you, too. Your laughter.” Wylan eventually looked up and into Jesper’s eyes. “I just didn’t think you’d heard me in any way, so… I was scared to say anything.” He shook his head a little, still a little dazed that this was really happening, that there was a reason why Jesper hadn’t reacted to his laughter. “But you… your laughter really got me through some terrible days and nights.” Not only because he’d heard it now and then, but more because he’d been able to remember it, think of it and realise that there was someone out there. Someone who would probably love him for who he was, not judge him for the things he couldn’t do. With Jesper, he already knew that he didn’t judge him, that he was looking past these imperfections.

“And I will make sure that you won’t have any of these horrible days and nights anymore or at least sit through them with you.” Because he knew that some nights could be terrible no matter where you were, so he would sit by Wylan’s side, hold him in his arms, and do whatever he needed. He wouldn’t let him go anymore, that was for sure.

“Will you just-” he started, but couldn’t finish the sentence because of the most wonderful of reasons: Wylan’s lips finally on his own. Jesper felt like his heart would explode, and it was the same for Wylan in that moment, whose gentle fingers stroked over Jesper’s cheek, while the other one was still on his chest. Meanwhile Jesper managed to pull him close and half on top of him, needing him as close as possible right now.

“You think that’s wise?” Wylan whispered against his lips, trying to push himself up a little bit so that his weight wasn’t completely on Jesper. He was still hurt after all.

“Mhm.. very wise.” Jesper kissed him again, held him close as he let go of the hand against his chest and pushed his fingers into the soft strands of Wylan’s hair - something he’d been dying to do ever since laying eyes on him. A soft moan landed in the kiss, opening up Wylan’s lips so Jesper could softly lick into his mouth, wrapping his arm around him a little tighter.

Wylan’s head was spinning, it was the most wonderful feeling, and he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, let his fingertips trail over Jesper’s cheek, his neck, down to his chest, the little patch of skin left bare where his shirt was unbuttoned. It still felt a bit surreal, but the way Jesper held onto him, held him tight against his own body, made it clear that this was really happening and not something he’d conjured up.

When their lips parted, neither of them could stop smiling. As much as they enjoyed this, they both knew that they needed some rest, Jesper even more so than Wylan, and since he was here to watch out for Jesper, make sure that he got said rest, he pulled back a bit more, earning him a grunt from Jesper, who immediately tried to pull him back.

“I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry. But you need some sleep.”

“Boring.” Jesper sank back into the pillows and gave a sigh.

“Tell you what, I’ll lie down with you and we can both get some sleep, okay?”

“That does sound rather tempting.” Now, Jesper really did pull him back, kept his arm wrapped around him as Wylan cuddled up to his side, placed his hand on Jesper’s sternum. “Maybe, you could sing something to me? Just for me this time?”

Wylan lifted his head to look at him, a fond smile on his lips, as his heart beat a little faster again. “Of course.”

Jesper turned his head to the side to kiss his forehead, realising how tired he really was, how much his head hurt, now that they were both getting comfortable like this. Now that he had the man who’d captured his heart by his side. And when Wylan began to sing quietly for him, he knew that he’d arrived. He hadn’t known that he’d still been on some kind of journey, but now, here in his room, with Wylan by his side, he was finally, finally home.

Jesper Fahey may not have believed in soulmates a couple of weeks ago, but Wylan had shown him just how wrong he’d been.

[nobodysdaydreams]

HILBERT PICKED ONE HECK OF A TIME TO DROP HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY (or my reaction to Episodes 25-26 of Wolf359).

First off I would like to welcome any newcomers to my reactions, courtesy of my poll about Blessie's name, as well as my post about my unhinged yet, apparently shockingly plausible theory that Blessie was created with DNA from Reneé Minkowski.

You can click the links to view the posts, but in the meantime, I'm gonna get right to the reaction, because I've been studying all day, and want to reward myself with a little treat. Sorry for ranting so much about Blessie, but I find the character extremely compelling. I hope Blessie makes it to the end. He deserves it. If not, you best believe I’ll be writing some crack fic.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Episode 25: Lame-O Superhero Origin Story

Oh right they are going to Hilbert for help. Bad idea. BAD IDEA.

Hilbert don't try to play therapist. You are NOT in the same boat. You treated him like a science experiment.

Also. This is the same voice actor talking to himself. Pretty incredible. Pure talent. Honestly.

And yeah Hilbert, don't shame him for working with Hera and Minkowski. It's called friendship, something YOU wouldn't understand.

"Ever met anyone who could get things done on their own" "only Lovelace"

...so NOT Cutter then? Hm. I wonder what Hilbert and others have helped Cutter with along the way then. And I wonder what it is about Isabel Lovelace that makes Hilbert so terrified.

Besides, you know, the huge bomb.

Lovelace. Lovelace. You need to be reasonable.

Yeah. HILBERT DOESN'T FEEL GUILT. It's creepy. "Latent, it can be controlled. I've made vast improvements since last round off full scale trials"

...

...

...

Hilbert.

Hilbert.

What happened the last round of trials?

"Command classified you as expendable and gave you exposure samples before I even knew your name"

Oh my gosh I hate Cutter and command so much. And Doug is NOT expendable. Would else is gonna make jokes to lighten the mood?

"They gave orders to terminate your life at Christmas"

^That line is so messed up. Especially since it's also his birthday! I love how hard they rub in how evil command is, like, this could not have waited 24 hours for their evil plans, they couldn't even have that decency, oh no, it had to be on Doug and Jesus's birthday when Minkowski had made them a nice dinner. There was no other way to do this.

They are the worst. They're the worst.

"I did not ask for this hand Eiffel, but I will play it through to the end. For your sake as much as mine."

Hilbert...what hand are you playing? Why do you want to "radically improve human life". And what does radically improve human life mean for you? Does he have a family member that's like...dying of cancer or severely disabled and he's doing this for them or something, because while that's very sad, it does not excuse murder.

"How did they go?" "Slowly..." Oh...huh. Hilbert kinda liked them, but killed them anyway. Why? Hilbert dude, what is your game here?

"What did all that niceness accomplish? You have chance to make a contribution to humanity?"

Hilbert. Two problems with your logic.

So far your contribution has been mostly murder of humanity, so unless that viruses ends up saving millions, you're not really proving your point. Your point only works if there is payoff, and right now, I am really not seeing it, you are MILES aways from Earth and all the people you plan to hypothetically save or sorry "improve" (geez the tmbs comparisons with that one)

Do you HONESTLY believe CUTTER, Mr. "I'll throw you off this building Rachel" is gonna use it for good? Really? You think you get out of this alive? You think you get what you want? You think anything good comes out of this? You're a fool.

EXACTLY! CALL HIM OUT DOUG.

"We can do better"

THERE IS NO WE HERE HILBERT YOU DON'T HAVE A VIRUS IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM. AT LEAST NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

Right! No consent! That's why it's wrong!

Hilbert: "I'm asking you now. At least believe that all I want is positive results".

...are they trying to make Hilbert sympathetic? Because he's still very misguided, and it's gonna take a lot.

Lovelace, Minkowski, you need to work together. There is a middle ground here. One that won't get everyone killed.

"Decima is my life's work but I don't like it." THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT.

HILBERT... sister? Why does she need antiradiation meds?

"Ah! Look Monitor! This conversation not productive!"

Hilbert. THIS IS THE ONLY DECENT THING YOU HAVE EVER SAID. But also me when I'm trying to avoid a conversation.

Olga. Nice name.

Aw she had cats.

Oh. He lost his other siblings to radiation poison. He doesn't even remember them.

...

Not that I feel bad for him. He's still an idiot.

When he was four? That's sad.

Huh. Looks like they both have families they'd rather forget. What happened to yours Doug?

Good question. What is his real name. Dmitri what now?

Yeah I wouldn't trust him either. But yeah, he does at least feel like a real person now. Yeah, maybe Doug will "come around". But you know what Hilbert? Maybe you will too. We'll see.

Oh we're getting Lovelace's backstory too I love this!

"Imagine losing him slowly, so he knows there's no hope. Do it four times."

Oh my. Yeah. That would break you.

And yeah: Minkowski DOES care about Lovelace. But we're forgetting the plant monster. Blessie matters too.

Oops. They fixed the ship. Well at least Lovelace trust them now.

More aggressively? What...no, please you guys have trust now, we do not need to pull out the knock out gas! This is a fragile situation. YOU ARE NOT THE ENEMY COMMAND IS. CUTTER IS.

Oh no. NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

DOUG!

HILBERT. I DO NOT FEEL BAD AT ALL. I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SISTER. YOU ARE MURDERING A MAN. YOU MURDERED SO MANY MEN. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT TO YOU HILBERT. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

...but something tells me it wasn't.

Episode 26: Do No Harm

Oh and this episode title. "Do no harm" yeah, they BETTER do no harm. Eiffel can't die now! It's the middle of season two! Not even a season finale! We never got to find out his big secret about his family.

Hilbert you have explaining to do. Lovelace has to recognize the symptoms. Okay it sounds like she's being helpful. This is good. Crisis brings people together.

They better save Eiffel.

Anti-viral agent? Yeah it better work. And Hilbert she does make a point. How can they trust you?

Lovelace please calm down. I know you lost people but EIFFEL IS DYING. Hera please watch her so she doesn't do anything rash.

Oh gosh these gasping sounds... good voice acting but geez...

Ah. So his immune system is reacting to something else, which consequently also leads to it attacking the virus? Then what is this "something else"?

Hera called him her best friend 🥺

Yeah Hera. Call her out...but also, that was a bit harsh. She lost everyone, and she just wants to help you too.

I also love that Hera is willing to acknowledge that Lovelace's plan leaves her behind, but is okay with it, because it will save Doug and Minkowski.

"No one should have to live through that" Hera knows because that's her life. "And you shouldn't do the same to anyone else" GOOD POINT HERA.

"Fear is the only language you listen to you" "you need a better dictionary" oh boy.

I guess they're not getting along anytime soon.

LUNG COLLAPSED?

That's very serious. Hilbert. This is your ONE shot at MAYBE getting any semblance of...well maybe not redemption arc but something.

Oh boy. What do you have to say Hera.

Yikes. Well Hilbert, now you have motivation. I hope you're thinking long and hard about this Hilbert.

INTERNAL BLEEDING?

GIVE HIM YOUR OWN BLOOD THEN.

Oh great they don't have the right blood.

...Lovelace? Please. LOVELACE.

WHAT IS HER BLOOD TYPE?

I don't even know my blood type I should look that up.

...unusual radiological signals from the star? What does that mean?

Hera. Lovelace. Please get along.

"Don't you dare say I don't care about you. I don't say it because I can't" Oh my goodness.

Oh dear someone hug her good lord. And you CAN be there for them. Right now. BY GIVING BLOOD RIGHT NOW.

"The dumbest person I've met, admittedly it's a small sample size" 😂

"Four other people on this station" WHAT ABOUT BLESSIE!

...does...does Blessie have the blood for the job?

YES LOVELACE HAS THE BLOOD FOR IT!

Doug is the one thing holding them together. Maybe they can move forward together from here.

Fair enough. Lovelace is not getting along with Hilbert, but "a man's life is at stake, that is above all else, on this we agree". Huh. Seems Hilbert's coming around. He was trying to kill them earlier. I guess talking about his sister struck a nerve. But I've still keep a gun on him. Just in case.

29%. Those are rough odds, but you don't have any other options so... oh. Doug doesn't want to leave her? 2.7 years left?

"Don't you want to go home?" oh please tell me they don't split up the team. Minkowski is gonna have to go back, she has a husband.

And uh. What happened. That was not a good sound.

Tell me Hilbert didn't open the door.

Tell me the aliens didn't show up.

WHAT.

Well that...is not supposed to happen. SHOCKWAVE?

ALIENS? TIME LOOP? PORTAL?

UGH... it's super late guys and I gotta get to bed, but MAN I hope I can listen to more soon. Thanks for reading!

[aslightlydifferentchristmascarol]

Amelie & Other Marleys

Inspired by the wonderful @rom-e-o's post about how their OC would get along with the various versions of Scrooge- go check it out, it's wonderfully written!

Obviously, in my own AU/retelling of A Christmas Carol, Amelie Wilson is Jacob Marley's soulmate and greatest friend (besides Scrooge, of course). But would she be this way with any of the other Marleys from across the different Christmas Carol adaptations I've seen?

Also, just a quick heads-up- she's meeting all of them pre-death.

Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol (1962) version, played by Royal Dano: Well, he seems chill, but judging by that portrait of him we see in Scrooge's office at the beginning of the cartoon, he'd probably scare her away just by looking at her. No thank you. 0/10.

The Stingiest Man in Town (1978) version, played by Theodore Bikel: He isn't really the most attractive man, but at least he's not as scary as the Magoo version. He also has a good singing voice, and judging by his tone during the song, Amelie would probably offer a shoulder for him to cry on frequently. 7/10.

Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983) version, played by Goofy: He does constantly speak of "robbing widows and swindling the poor", but aside from that, Goofy's Marley seems to have had a soft side he'd reveal to only one person, and Amelie (who would also be an anthropomorphic dog- specifically a longhaired dachshund- in this version's universe) would certainly be the one for him to reveal it to. 9/10.

A Christmas Carol (1984) version, played by Frank Finlay: This version seems a little stuck-up, but not so much stuck-up as the 2022 version (more on him later). While Amelie wouldn't want to DATE him, she would probably enjoy sharing tidbits of advice with him. 4/10.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) versions, played by Statler and Waldorf: Believe it or not, I actually think they'd be pretty high on the list for her. In the Present scene of my version, the Ghost actually does show Scrooge a vision where Marley and Amelie are cracking jokes about Scrooge just the way that Statler and Waldorf themselves would normally do, so I think Amelie's humor would click perfectly with them (again, she'd also be a Muppet herself in this version's universe). The only problem with them is: Which brother would she date, Jacob or Robert? Maybe both of them at once? 8/10.

A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004) version, played by Jason Alexander: He's actually the one I got most of the inspiration for my own Marley from, from the talent for singing to the tendency to give massive hugs to those he loves/trusts the most. So of course she'd take to him right away! 10/10.

A Christmas Carol (2009) version, played by Gary Oldman: Hmm, we don't know a lot about what he was like before he died. He doesn't seem to be the guy who would have much of a soft side like Goofy's or Jason Alexander's version, though. She most likely would probably just want to be his friend, if anything. 4/10.

Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022) version, played by Jonathan Pryce: Unfortunately, he seems far too snobbish and sassy to want to even interact with a cheery, affectionate girl like her, and I think that feeling of not wanting to interact with each other would be mutual between him and Amelie. Literally the only thing that might even attract her to him is the fact that he's always got Boris, the handsome bulldog, at his side. (Because yes, Amelie loves animals.) 1/10.

So, here's the final ranking:

2004

Mickey's Christmas Carol

The Muppet Christmas Carol

[unrealization]

HIIII IRONS. thank you for the very big and very wonderful opportunity to sob in your inbox and to let you know how grateful i am that we are mutuals, even if it has been a few short months. i've spent, possibly, a good 4 years now in the dangan.ronpa rpc, and honestly do not believe i have clicked as fast when it comes to plotting with some people in the past as i have with you. honestly? am always a bias towards those who have read the novels as well as played the games, but to see someone have so much love for characters such as mukuro herself, it honestly fills my heart with a ton of warmth that i cannot put into words completely.

you are a lovely human being, who brings so much love into every portrayal that i've managed to spot on the dash. meta analysis on muses can be hard, especially when they're in fandoms quite small or source material quite unknown, but you have a certain talent and spark that really inspires others. a couple of things you've spoken about have ended up in my to be looked into list for 2025 simply because of how you've both discussed and explained them with love.

i cannot wait to see what 2025 brings for you, irons, but i will be watching and crossing my fingers with all my heart and love that it remains something as beautiful as you have been to see on my dash, or simply just as wonderful as your writing continues to stand. heres to more interactions, more plots and more dynamics in the future, because i know whatever we'll do it will bring me so much joy and so much love in the long run! <3

[Hiii! Sorry to leave you on read for a while. This message was just so unbelievable sweet that I wanted to respond in kind. I know we haven't directly interacted much yet, but I'm so glad you're here and we are getting a chance to interact now. I think its incredible that you are able to grasp pretty much every DR character on a deeper level. Its so easy to just toss characters aside as basic archetypes so I always admire the people who see the best in every character, no matter how small their role is in canon.

Please don't downplay your role in how natural our plotting has been. I feel like we're very much on the same wavelength and that has made things a lot easier for us. I would 100% write you more starters based on the plots we discussed by the way.

I'm very much hoping 2025 is a good year for you. I for one am planning to redouble my efforts here as a writer and a roleplayer. I was inactive for far too much of the year and I really want to interact with more people here. I can't express enough how glad I was to get your ask when I did. It was right after I got back from an unplanned hiatus and I was very worried that I wouldn't get any interactions anymore.

In conclusion; THANK YOU. I'm so glad we happened to encounter each other in this chaotic universe and I hope we get to write a lot more together in 2025. Sending all my love your way.

[insecuritybreach]

Headcannons pt 3: Love languages

GL Freddy

Spoken words are his go-to

The pet names aren't going to be as cutesy/lovey as much as they are going to be out of sheer, genuine admiration

So instead of a simple 'sweetheart' you're getting called in almost full sentences like 'My wonderful, talented s/o (Y/N)!'

He can and will do that on-stage if he finds a spot in the show he can get away with it

Changes song lyrics to suit you as well, so if there's physical descriptions of someone in a song, suddenly they match up with how you look/act where they didn't before

Doesn't particularly want you on-stage if you're unfamiliar with the choreography because you could get hurt, but likes to think the little ways of referring to you make you feel included in the performance

After all, who doesn't like you? Nobody's going to complain about a few lyrics and an occasional call-out, especially if it's for you

He has the rosiest tinted glasses, and absolutely believes everyone sees you the way he does, and you'll find him totally frozen if someone does something to show that might not be true

Words are his go-to for the opposite effect, too, so if someone was unkind or -diety forbid- rude to you, he's going to ream them out right there in the middle of the pizza Plex, even if he has to be late for whatever he was on the way to

Low-key gets agressive about telling them they are wrong because you are the best thing that has ever walked through those doors and if they had spent any time with you they would surely know that

You have to be the one to pull him away, he's cornered this poor, scared stranger

(poor, scared stranger that will now be considering how they talk to people when they are moody from here on out)

He also is happy to sing for you, as he's probably written half a dozen songs just for you within your first few months of being together (and he probably wrote a few before y'all got official because he is a bit of a hopeless romantic sometimes)

If you sing or talk to him in any of the same ways he will die and go to robot heaven

Doesn't matter if you butcher the words or get all the notes wrong, you are expressing your mutual love for him and he will just sit there, melting into whatever surface he's got to lean on to stop his knees from giving out on him from the attention

GL Chica

Y'all probably saw this coming but it's food

She loves food, and isn't usually keen on sharing, which makes it mean so much more that she just shows up with stuff for you- stuff that she got especially for you

Takes you to a lot of the little fast food places that are found around the Plex, and always keeps extra snacks on hand if she knows you're going to be with her

When that nasty virus was in her system, she was seeing trash AS food, so if you were with her during that time you were probably gifted a lot of trash and she is still so sorry about that she regrets it a lot

She wasn't interested in how the food was made before, but now she is

Has it in her mind to learn to cook and, with her, Freddy, Pinterest recipes, and the bakery appliances, she is GOING to

Burnt down the kitchen once and Freddy took the blame for it so she wouldn't get banned, she owes him so much for that

Now, instead of just fast food and snacks, she's showing up with containers of entire home-cooked meals and, oftentimes, they are accompanied by various desserts

It's always something new, too! She finds so many interesting recipes and it makes her day to see you enjoying them, too

Gets jealous if you want to eat with other people at any point

Doesn't matter if it's your sibling or your parent, if you don't bring her with you she's going to pout about it for the next couple days, rarely longer

Doesn't attempt a cold shoulder, as she knows she will cave within the hour

If you have an ex and she knows about them, imagining you and them out on a food date actually fills her with rage and Monty has 100% used this to motivate her during her exercise routines

"Man, (Y/N) was telling about this cute little Chinese place down the street the other day. I guess she/he/they used to go there with (Ex's name)."

*cue the obliteration of a punching bag*

If you cook for her she will enjoy it

If you cook with her she will melt

Hyped every time, no matter how frequently you offer to help, and it's a whole mess the entire time but it's fun

The scene of you two sitting in front of the bakery, covered in ingredients, eating whatever it is you made with grins on your messy faces is actually the most wholesome thing and she lives for it

Roxy

She want to impress you

At all hours of the day, she is trying to

On stage? She's being extra and she's looking right at you for most of it

On the raceway? She's not just winning, she's pulling every fancy maneuver she knows to look cool

Visits Chica's gym just to show you how much she can lift, but not while Chica is there because Chica will outshow her on accident and it makes her so mad

Walking around the Pizza Plex with you on her arm has her so proud, she's never been more sure she's the best if she's got someone like you with her

Boasts openly about you, to whoever is in earshot, all the time

You're the best, and everyone gets to know that because it is now common knowledge

If you do something embarrassing, she is glaring at everyone who could have possibly witnessed it

they better not make you feel bad about it

Absolutely graphic with her threats, and uses them on people any chance she gets because she thinks being protective is going to make you think she's cooler

"And when he said he didn't like people who liked (insert interest here), I told him I was going to rip out his spine and feed it to him."

If you want her to stop, you have to tell her, but she'll probably continue to threaten people when you aren't around

Sometimes, she gets softer though

When no one's around, and her crippling fear of failing to live up to the crazy high standards she seems to believe you have, she will just enjoy your presence

It's nice, having some sort of steady ground in her life. She's never been good enough for herself, or for her fans, or for the Pizza Plex

But you think she's enough, and though she will do her best to deserve that every day, there's a moment every now and then where you'll find her just staring at you

She's practically making heart eyes, hardly able to convince herself it's true that she's made so much progress in her life, that she actually feels good about herself now

And, better yet, you'll think that whether she's doing something awesome or not

Monty

He puts a lot of importance on making sure he is the best and most fun part of your day

Emphasis on the fun

There is always something planned and he spends the next few hours after you've gone back to wherever you live at the end of the day planning it

Golf, Fazerblast, Mazercise, El Chips, arcades, any concert that's being held, if there's something to do you guys are going to go make a day of it

He doesn't really play competitively, but if he's won a few times in a row at something, he'll let you win

Sneaks up on you in Fazerblast because your reaction to being startled is too cute

When something isn't planned, it's schemed

Honestly, some of his favorites are

Setting up a bucket of golf balls is difficult when the doors don't swing open, but like hell if that stops him from doing it

Roxy nearly killed him when the two of you did that to her, messing up her hair before she was supposed to go racing with Chica

He has spray painted a bathroom wall for you, and it was quickly painted back over by staff but the sentiment counts

Also really likes to work on songs with you

If you play an instrument, he will find a way to have it sound good with his bass -even if it's something he's never heard of-

Tells jokes. Awful jokes. Like, his puns are the worst but if he can get you to laugh it makes the time he spent writing said shitty jokes totally worth it

He walked in to you winning a game of mini golf once in a competition, as you've gotten a LOT better at the sport since you've been with Monty

Seeing you that happy made his metaphorical heart completely stop

From that point on he started to really ramp up the games, getting more people involved if he possibly could

Takes pictures of you with a confiscated Fazcam that has little stars doodled on it

A few of his favorites are displayed or taped to the wall, but otherwise kept in a box

He doesn't take you bowling. That's the one place the two of you will never go. Not for any reason, he wants nothing to do with it.

He still isn't sure what happened that night with Bonnie. He doesn't know if Bonnie came to fight or if he himself attacked the rabbit first, but Bonnie was his friend

And if he could do that to his friend, what if he could one day do that to you?

Finds keeping his mind on good times and fun keeps it off of serious and upsetting thoughts like that

Honestly, though, it's all better this way and he loves every minute of the time he gets to spend with you

Sundrop

Hope you have the time, energy, and space because Sunny is SMOTHERING

Makes you things all the time

Cards, drawings, various crafts, there's glitter on everything and it's almost hard to look at with the sheer amount of color

They're not a bad artist, though, as their eye for detail is pretty keen on getting it right

When they aren't making things for you or doing their job of handling the kiddos, they are attached to you

Holding your hand so you're going to have a hard time actually doing anything

If you ask for it back, it's no problem, they'll just put a whole arm around you instead

If they could merge into your body and just be a part of you they would

Sits like y'all are glued together

Personal space? Never heard of her

Always asking you questions

How did that thing you had today go? How's work/college treating you? Are you doing well? Feeling well? Being good?

Is a gossip. I won't budge on this.

Not malicious things, but definitely true things, so you will be hearing about all the goings on in the Pizza Plex

And if you gossip WITH them then you two are going to have a slumber party like a couple of young teenagers

Pillow fights, throwing the ball pit balls at each other, hair styling (pretend they have hair, okay, it's a game they insist on), and matching pajamas

Finding pajamas that fit them was tough but they were so thrilled when you did

Is going to hug you a lot, so also get used to that because there's nothing you can do

Pick you up and carry you if they are able to get away with it so be careful there

Follows you around if you're busy and they aren't, and, alternatively, gives you the puppy eyes to wait for or join them if they're busy and you aren't

Y'all are going to mess around on the equipment, and they're going to sneak up on you whilst on said equipment

Might end up cuddling in a tube slide every now and then, they have 0 problems with just squeezing you until you give up on trying to escape a cuddle session

If they find out you display their art it is the only time they don't have words

Cries a little, and starts putting even more effort into their art than usual

Moondrop

Most would take them as someone who wouldn't be very affectionate, and, if you look at it at face-value, they aren't

Only really calls you by your name or a shortened version, tends to nag about your health and maintaining it, even gets snippy with you if you try to get touchy or lovey

But when you start picking up on things they actually do... They're very affectionate

Does such a good job making it sound like it's some sort of fault of yours for not eating enough you probably didn't realize it was an excuse for them to give you food

Made it sound like they noticed you were 'low energy' but it was definitely just an excuse to get you to take a break with them

Leaves sticky notes reminding you to do things, and a few of them are encouraging

You don't notice until one falls down in your station that they have little doodles on the back, mostly of you, them, stars or hearts

Only had to see you in their hat one time and now, suddenly, you have one of your own and they are trying to get you to wear it more often

If you play their 'im not being affectionate you are' game, you can get them to be more open and willing to do a lot of things

Oh, you're saying it would keep you on task if they were there to remind you to get back to it if you get distracted? Okay, that's a good enough reason for them to walk you around and hold your hand to remind you

You're restless in the night and need to be held still? They're arms are around you so fast, being sleep deprived is serious business and they're happy to help fix it

Doesn't need any of that sappy nonsense

^ absolutely a lie from them ^

Writes poetry, and will sing softly if they feel moved to do so

Strangely, it's not uncommon for them to feel moved to do so with you

Pretends to not like some of your antics but will join in to 'keep the trouble to a minimum so you arent kicked out'

Is definitely having fun, but won't admit it no matter how much evidence you have

If you're getting unsure of yourself and your place in their life, they'll go off

It's an entire tangent on why you're the only thing that ever comes close to making an actual relationship worth it

But, if you keep their little games in mind, all you hear is praise and admiration

[burst-of-iridescent]

002: zutara (and totally not asking to know what you look for in a fic, noooo totally not bestie 👀💕)

always happy to deliver, dearest <3

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: February 2021, when i finished watching book 1 of atla for the first time. after "you rise with the moon, i rise with the sun", i was a goner.

My thoughts: beautiful, talented, show stopping, spectacular, never before done, marvelous, amazing, absolute perfection. i wouldn't change a single thing about them, i love them so much, and i will never stop believing that they were happy and in love together, canon be damned.

What makes me happy about them: literally everything. i love their development, i love their symbolism, i love that they go from fighting each other to risking absolutely everything to save each other. i love that they're the only people to see each other at their absolute best and worst, i love that they unconditionally support and are there for each other, i love that they get to be open and vulnerable with each other in a way they rarely are with anyone else. i love how much they have in common, i love how beautiful they look together, i love that they're fire and water, i love that they encapsulate the themes of the show perfectly. they're just *chef's kiss*

What makes me sad about them: that their beautiful, deep, intimate relationship was thrown out the window as if it never existed post show. obviously, i'm sad they were never canon, but it's somehow more hurtful that the writers destroyed their wonderful platonic connection too. it breaks my heart to think that after everything they went through, after being the only people who could truly understand each other, they spent the rest of their lives as nothing more than acquaintances. fuck that.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: when zuko is made out to be some sort of smirking, smooth bad boy, like... did yall watch the show? zuko is an awkward turtleduck with a penchant for excessive drama, not a wattpad romantic lead. give me a zuko who can barely string a cohesive sentence together because he's so dazzled by katara, or give me nothing.

Things I look for in fanfic: zuko being a complete simp for katara (absolute must), fire lord and southern water tribe ambassador fix its, fire lady katara who retains her culture but also loves the fire nation with all her heart, modern au tea shop zutara, FAKE DATING, canon divergences where they end up having to travel together, aang letting go of his crush on katara and being happy to see his friends in love, mutual pining (on ember island or post atla).

My wishlist: time traveling back to 2008 to kick bryke off the show and write the last half of book 3 myself

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: probably ty lee or sokka for zuko, and suki for katara. imo, zuko is the only male character on the show who could form a happy, healthy and lasting relationship with katara.

My happily ever after for them: fire lord zuko and fire lady katara usher the world into a golden age of peace and prosperity together, working to fix the damage done by years of war and rebuild the ties between their countries. they are second in fame only to the avatar, with hundreds of statues built and cities named in their honour. they remain very much in love to the end of their long, happy lives.

Send me an ask!

[remcycl333]

You and your old SP were living in different countries? I read in a previous ask that you manifested him transferring and that's impressive. My SP and I are currently studying in different countries, we met online during quarantine. I manifested meeting him because my clown ass wanted a boyfriend and I thought well, everyone is quarantined right now, so I might as well get to meet people from other countries online. He's everything I ever wanted in a partner, I wouldn't change a thing about him, but I have held myself back from manifesting him as my boyfriend??? I can handle distance, actually I think distance can be a good thing because I don't really like to be with people 24/7. I seriously don't see myself dating someone and seeing them every single day or every week. I really like my alone space, so seeing someone only once a year (or none at all lol) doesn't sound like a problem to me. I consider myself very good at communication and I know how to create and keep a bond with people without seeing them often. But I feel egotistical for wanting to drag him into my narrative because from what I've read, people in LDRs suffer a lot and most don't end in good terms. He seems to be interested and it makes me wonder why, if he could easily get a local girl. He's super hot and sweet, talented, smart, anyone would be lucky and he seems to have a very active social life so there are no excuses, and my boy is wasting his time texting me saying he's the lucky one for finding me ? wtf boy ??? Go be lucky with someone in person idk. And although I don't really believe in astrology, I do think it's fun and I was curious about his birth chart and something very interesting that I found is that people with his venus sign tend to seek relationships with people that they can't see on a regular basis, usually in different countries than theirs and I mean, what a lovely coincidence. I could conveniently decide that astrology is totally right on this one HA! So, everything seems to be in my favor but I'm still hesitant about it. This was messy and I'm sorry I came to vent, but today I woke up thinking it's better to drop him and just stay friends and the thought really hurt me.

my old sp and i both lived in the US but he lived in a different state that was across the country from mine, about 1,600 miles away! and i manifested he’d stop going to college in that state and instead go to college about 20 mins from me🤍

after reading your ask, i feel like the two of you can definitely give it a shot!! if he it still acting that way towards you (saying he’s lucky to find you, etc) then he obviously knows you’ll have to do a LDR and he seems okay with the fact!! also the thing you said about his venus sign blew my mind!

you can always manifest you two have a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship despite the distance. and if you eventually decide you want to close the distance, you can manifest that as well! or if you want to break up bc it’s too hard, you can manifest he takes it perfectly well and the breakup is mutual!!

but this relationship sounds like it’s going well so far to me, and if the thought of just being friends really saddens you then i’d definitely say enter a relationship with him!! it doesn’t have to be forever, it could just be something fun you try!!

keep me updated on what you choose and how things progress!! 🤍🤍

[t00thpasteface]

I would love to know the top 3 questions you were HOPING to get most! (Also to get the answers to said questions 😝)

(19) What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

The TES fandom has stage IV terminal Hiatus-Brain. I actually would like to elaborate on this as a standalone post, but I'm honestly terrified of starting some kind of batshit drama with it, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet (and if you want me to go on, I will):

I feel like there's a lot of (talented, creative, and absolutely galaxy-brained!!!) artists/writers/worldbuilders in the TES fandom who are SO irritated by the actual canon, who devote SO much time to building their own characters and lore, who are SO desperate for representation that TES just will never feasibly have... and I think these folks just honest-to-god need to Read Another Book, so to speak. I feel like they would be a lot happier for it, and that the canon is just holding them back at this point.

Whether that means putting your energy into engaging with art (I hate the term "consuming media" with my entire soul) you actually love, or creating your own, you have got to break out of the vicious cycle of "wouldn't this be a cool TES lore idea" -> good mood -> plays TES game -> "oh I forgot how much I hate the actual canon" -> bad mood. I've been there! It sucks! And believe me, you are not doing yourself any favors by refusing to let go of something you hate!!

(20) What is the purest ship in the fandom?

LDB/Lydia. What can I say? Match made in heaven. Even though Lydia is just the starter housecarl and doesn't have any grand backstory, something about this ship is just giving "childhood friends to lovers" for me. Which I am always a sucker for. Something about the fact that you're guaranteed to get her at the very start of the game, when you've barely even seen a fraction of Skyrim, and you can keep her with you the whole rest of the way... I don't know, it's very sweet, very pure. And you know I love the whole "mutual pining roadblocked by social hierarchy" trope. LDB and Lydia both thinking the other one is just playing their part as hero or housecarl and worrying that their love is unrequited... Gah!! So cuuuute!!

(21) What are your thoughts on crack ships?

I've said this before, but it always bears repeating: crack ships are a blessing. More people need to just relish in the ridiculousness of crack ships. Modern fandom is defined by speculation, conspiracies, campaigning for headcanons/ships to be "endgame", and even harrassing creators/devs/actors/showrunners for failing to live up to the hype or fanon. Crack ships are a wonderful, uncomplicated pleasure that gives a big ol' fuck you to all of that.

I don't think a ship needs to be feasible within the story itself. I don't even think the characters need to get along, really. As long as you're NOT, like, literally producing cartoon kiddie pr0nz, which should go without saying, I think you should be able to go absolutely nuts and ship whatever the hell you want. And have fun doing it!!

I have a lot of fond memories of the wild west days of the earlyish Homestuck fandom (from the trolls up to the Gigapause), where it was almost kind of a game to come up with the most batshit crack ships and to hoard them like a multishipping dragon. I still love the quadrant system. It's a shame that the culture on Tumblr overall has shifted away from that outlook and turned into what I can only describe as slow-burn racetrack betting. It's borderline soulless!

And yes, I include crossover ships in this. I've enjoyed a few myself, especially as a tween playing Smash Bros and looking up fanart on the family desktop. And remember that Samurai Bravo explosion back when s5 of Samurai Jack was on everyone's mind? In the immortal words of KC & the Sunshine Band, THAT'S the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it!! Just good, wholesome, crazy fun.

[duran-duran-less-official]

1-99

1) Sexuality?

Yes. Lots of it.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Probably any Tumblr mutuals who would be willing to meet up. I already have half-formed plans to see @myflawedfairytale and @howcanweriseup again after international travel starts being a thing again.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"I'm going to throw the extension cord over again" said Angela.

4) What do you think about most?

The past, broadly speaking. It's a habit I need to break.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"Yeah I'm at my aunt's"

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Without.

7) What’s your strangest talent?

Perfect pitch.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun; Boys Keep Swinging

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Haha nope.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Gee that's a tough one. I do air drums a lot more often these days because it's easier to do from my usual position, which is sitting on the sofa.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I wouldn't call it strange, but the only real phobia I encounter on a regular basis is a fear of needles. I'm not really enjoying Australia's exceptionally slow roll-out of the COVID vaccine.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Might I introduce you to this bad boy:

Clears blocked noses right up!

13) What’s your religion?

I don't have one

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Buying groceries, or having my self-imposed mandatory Vitamin D for the day.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Gee, I wonder.

17) What was the last lie you told?

"Yes mum, I've definitely applied for all those jobs you sent me"

18) Do you believe in karma?

In an ideal world yes. This is not an ideal world.

19) What does your URL mean?

Well, remember when you asked me what my favourite band was... well I know for a fact that there's a "duranduranofficial" blog on Tumblr, and I like the construction of "[name]_official" handles, so I thought it would be really funny to call myself "less official". Like, yeah, you CAN come to me for Duran Duran news, I know stuff about them and I keep relatively up to date (NEW ALBUM OUT OCTOBER 22ND!) but... there are better sources of information out there.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My inability to take pride in myself; I don't have one.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

I prefer not to have one because I dislike celebrity culture in general, but for the sake of the question I'll say Cristin Milioti.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No.

23) How do you vent your anger?

Poorly.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

Magic the Gathering cards (severely depleted)

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Eesh, I don't like either of them, but if I had to choose I'd go with voice only phoning.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

There are improvements that could be made here and there, but I could have turned out a lot worse than I did.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

My neighbours drilling holes in the wall every other day with no apparent rhyme or reason ; my friends laughing

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

Don't even go there.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

No, and... theoretically yes, but I've never actually seen one. You know. I don't have any concrete theories of what an alien would look like or behave like or metabolise nutrients like.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Sofa pillow; different sofa pillow

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

It's a bit stuffy in here. Glad I took out the garbage earlier today. Lingering remnants of the fish I had for dinner.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

I don't have one in mind. I rented out a basement in Germany once which was pretty terrible though, it shot my mental health right in the head just to live there. I wouldn't say it was the worst thing ever though. Being underground during a season when there was already a lack of sun probably skewed my opinion a little bit.

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast. Perth can fight me. I know a fair few people who grew up in Perth and the first thing they did upon reaching maturity was to leave it.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

... Can I say Cristin Milioti again?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

To be happy, however that works for you.

36) Define Art.

You create something driven by passion and a drive to express an aspect of the human condition, whether that is yours or something you have seen in other people.

37) Do you believe in luck?

Kinda. A lot of luck is driven by circumstances of birth.

38) What’s the weather like right now?

Mood-swingy. Yesterday it was pouring down with rain and today started off sunny but got very cloudy again in the afternoon. Australia usually behaves like this in summer, not winter.

39) What time is it?

1:45 AM. Probably a lot later by the time I've finished these. Might even take a break partway through.

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I don't like driving. I know how to drive, but I'm overly timid. The worst accident I ever had was blowing out the car's front tire on the kerb. I never actually crashed into another vehicle.

41) What was the last book you read?

Still Xenophon's Hellenica. And I still want it back.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Kind of, until I remember what it is and I start treating it like the fumes are poisonous. It... feels unhealthy to breathe it in, you know?

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Not really.

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Wonder Woman 1984. It's alright. Not nearly as terrible as I was led to believe.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Stabbed myself in the hand with a broken ceramic plate. Required two operations and an overnight stay in hospital.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

No!! Leave them alone!!!

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

My mum made an unsolicited comment about my weight about two months ago and it has haunted me ever since.

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

As straight as a... um, a very straight thing.

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Not that I'm aware of but, honestly, who knows.

50) Do you believe in magic?

No.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yes. I would love to live my life to its fullest potential to spite them, but that's not really an option I take advantage of much, so I settle for holding a grudge instead.

52) What is your astrological sign?

Gemini.

53) Do you save money or spend it?

Save... mostly.

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Two bananas and a bag of mandarins.

55) Love or lust?

Yes.

56) In a relationship?

No.

57) How many relationships have you had?

One.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No.

59) Where were you yesterday?

I spent the day at home, mostly preparing to have friends over later.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

The cover of that book I quoted early is arguably a very deep pink, as is the ALDI canvas bag next to the sofa.

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes. I need to take them off though, I wrapped up a bit too warm tonight.

62) What’s your favorite animal?

Dogs! But since everyone knows and expects dogs as an answer, I'm going to say Capybara as well.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Uh. People have secret weapons that get others to like them?

64) Where is your best friend?

I haven't had a strictly best friend for years. Most of my close friends are in Australia, some are in Germany.

65) Spit or swallow?(;

Swallow, naturally. As much as it is possible to when, uh-

66) What is your heritage?

British colonialism.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Work.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Morningstar.

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

I have a long and sordid history of it.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I hope so.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get fired.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Yes. b) As much as I can, with as many friends as I can (I assume that whatever deadly condition I have is not contagious) c) Yes. 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Well you can't have love without trust anyway, so I'll go for trust.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Harvest - Nightwish

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

Listen, I love me some oversharing ask memes, but I'm not giving out doxxable information.

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

If I ever find out, I'll let you know. But I have learned that I have no idea.

77) How can I win your heart?

Show the slightest bit of interest in me. I'd love to say that this mindset was brought on by the pandemic but... it was not.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Only when properly applied and combined with artistic talent of some kind.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Coming back to Australia just before the COVID-19 pandemic started.

80) What size shoes do you wear?

EURO 42/43, which I think is AUS 8 1/2, UK 9.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

My name.

82) What is your favorite word?

Petrichor.

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

It's not the actual emotional centre of the body, but somehow it makes for a better poetic description of the emotional centre of the body. Possibly because it's the first organ to go nuts when you feel feelings very strongly.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

Where Has Everybody Gone - The Pretenders

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Dark blue-green

87) What is your current desktop picture?

One of those Windows 10 default backgrounds. I honestly don't see it often enough to worry about changing it.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Rupert Murdoch.

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

"Do you miss your ex?"

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

As long as I'm certain that the mummies aren't doing anything, I'm going to check the bed to make sure it hasn't turned into a sarcophagus while I was asleep.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Super-making-my-friends'-lives-better.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

October 30th, 2014, somewhere between 11:30PM and 1:00AM. Or possibly 29th/30th September 2019, I forget the actual day, at around 3/4 in the afternoon.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

None. I live with my horrible mistakes.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

No.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Hannover, Germany.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Oddly specific, but yes. On my way back from having my wisdom teeth out.

98) Ever been on a plane?

Many, many times.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Realistically, I probably couldn't do any better than Bill and Ted's classic "Be Excellent To Each Other!" What more can you say when the entire world is listening?

[threeletterslife]

Hey Chana! I was thinking of making this anonymous, but I wouldn't want you to rack your brain thinking who this is, (but of course, you *genius* wouldnt have to guess who this is cause i know for a fact you'd be able to tell who's writing this without giving my name) but it's me, yeng! Before you think I'm returning or anything, I just came here to tie loose ends, and thank you for everything you've done for me ever since we met. You've been nothing but a supportive crackhead -->

(continuation) whom I've come to absolutely love and adore. You inspire me, ___. To write and just, keep writing, y'know? Be funny, be creative, be wild and just, to be yourself :) From you, I learned these things, and in turn, all I wish is that you continue to keep writing. Keep shining, ___. You're meant to be a star. No--you're born to be one. As I say my final goodbye, I hope you don't forget me. Maybe, when the time's right, I'll return. Who knows? We might finally be able to collab :)

And thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting my works even when you knew I'd be gone. This just fueled me to write even more. I'm working on a novel through NaNoWriMo's site, and I hope to publish it one day. Take my word for it, I'm acknowledging you in this novel. 'Cause you deserve it. Also, I see you with this new layout??? What a bomb?? And your tumblr layout please, you're still using my gift :') AGh. I love you. I'll miss you, dearly, Chana. Just. Keep. Growing. Make yourself PROUD!

signing out, with lots of love and blessings, yeng

oh. my. god.

when i say i cried reading this (at least twenty times so far), i am not lying. i’ve missed you so so much yeng. i still can’t believe the day you told me you had to leave aCtually happened,,, and i’ve seriously, honestly been wondering how you’ve been doing ever since

the fact that you reached out to me,,, oh my god—words cannot describe how happy i am (even though i’ve deadass got tears in my eyes)

i... i can’t believe i inspire you??? you inspire me??? but i’m just so, so glad that the feeling is reciprocated and mutual. you are one of the best writers i know. each sentence you stitch together is so poetic, so dreamy, so beautiful. i’ll wait very patiently until you feel as if it’s okay to come back (: just know i’ll always be here to write that collab 🥺

and yes, QUEEN??? you’re writing a NOVEL? with tHat talent then yes, you’ll definitely get it published. if you ever need an extra pair of eyes on it, you know where to find me. and the hONOR to be acknowledged?? yeng i don’t dESERVE this please 😭😭😭

I DID NOT LIKE MY OLD PC TUMBLR LAYOUT AND YOURS WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL AND AESTHETIC. (i noticed you changed it again after you left, but that one was beautiful too dlsjfsfjl.) yes, i was inspired by your page (’: and ALSO YES, i will continue to use your gift for years. i seriously would not even dream of changing it,,, ((i mean, it’s really the last memory i have of you. i know that sounds dramatic asf, but i’m serious. i’m keeping that super early birthday gift))

i miss you a lot. it was always such a joy to chat with you and i really miss it. see you in 2026? idk when but i’ll definitely be waiting. i’ll really try to make myself proud (: just make sure you do the same! 

i love you more. and here’s to our futures!! with lots more blessings and love, chana

[spacenintendogs]

i love the headcanon that andrew did go to the cornerian flight academy with fox, slippy, & falco. he'd be the year below them (while falco is a year older than fox & slippy i like to think he was still in their class, he started late) and fox would know him bc he's the nephew of the exiled dr. andross. james would probably give little detail, but he'd explain why dr. andross was exiled by general pepper.

fox, falco, & slippy don't think of andrew much until fox & andrew get roomed together. (at this time, fox is 13, andrew is 12, it's the year james goes missing since fox is 18 during the lylat wars and says "five years have passed")

fox is annoyed at first. andrew is a self-entitled, spoiled rich kid, why wouldn't he be? but over time they start getting along, a mutual agreement to just respect each other and move along with their flight training and school work.

until fox finds andrew cornered, with the rumors spiraling of andross building up an army and possibly taking over the planet venom, andrew is the prime target at the flight academy.

andrew would never forget fox and falco fighting off the upper classmen who'd cornered him. them beat up but still standing, asking if andrew was okay. no wonder they were in the top ranks for nearly every class, especially fox.

after that, they started hanging out more. turns out andrew has a talent with mechanics and engineering and slippy is thrilled to have someone else who understands everything he talks about. (fox gets a lot of it, falco gets less of it, it wasn't their strong suit)

also it turns out andrew has a knack for theatrics. "why don't you be an actor, you're great at it!" "really?" "yeah, i mean, you're dramatic." "hey!"

fox really starts believing andrew was just a product of his family. of course he'd be upset over his uncle getting exiled, of course he wouldn't fully understand the entire situation, and neither did fox. they're kids, the adults aren't going to explain everything to them.

andrew becomes one of their closest friends, and they continued to defend each other, especially defending andrew from other kids who hated him for his uncle's doings and the rumors.

and then james spends the entire day with them, taking them all out for ice cream. james is wary about andrew at first, but andrew's wide eyes upon seeing the famous mercenary for the first time in person and how kind he was to his son calmed james's nerves.

and then after that, james didn't come back with pigma and peppy on their mission to venom to investigate whether or not andross was actually building up an army.

and it's revealed all the rumors were true. and they couldn't do anything but build up their own troops and wait.

fox and andrew were in their room when the knock came on their door. peppy having to sit fox down and explain james was never coming home, andrew having to be in that same room and here that his uncle had 'killed' the father of one of his closest friends.

andrew does comfort fox, more confused than ever by the talk of corneria and that if his family, corneria hating his uncle but his own family trying to maintain his uncle was a good person.

and after not speaking of it, everything explodes.

"fox-"

"andrew... the rumors about your uncle are true... what are you going to do? you're going to become a bigger target than ever."

"they would have never been true if general pepper hadn't exiled him in the first place..."

"your uncle was doing illegal experiments! bio-weapons! he threatened lylat!"

"the cornerian army is no different than him! do you think war is won fairly every single time? your father was a mercenary, how many times do you think he'd go do underground missions for general pepper that were illegal?"

"don't you ever speak about my father that way. he wouldn't!"

"how do you know?!"

they continue to argue, until finally andrew, enraged, yells as he walks out the door: "I'M GOING AFTER MY UNCLE. YOU'RE NOT STOPPING ME."

and fox never saw andrew again after that. neither he, falco, or slippy could track him down. neither could the conerian flight academy or the police.

and then five years later, on the planet fichina, fox mccloud, leader of the newly re-formed star fox team, runs into star wolf, with andrew oikonny among them.

and they can never go back to the way things were, not ever again.

bullshit angsty headcanons today wow

[anarchycox]

hi! i don't think the anon asking about invention of love meant to be disrespectful towards you and your work. i guess it was genuinely an ask for info. we, fans, all know you have other things to do and we're already so grateful for your writing. sometimes the excitement over your fics can be misinterpreted, but i'm sure that we, fans, all mean well when it comes to care about fics. otherwise, we wouldn't be reading it. anyway, i wish you the best of luck in your other projects 💖

Hiya,

I am not going to lie, when I first read this, I was really fucking upset, and a little enraged. I was debating answering with “Invention of Love will now be on hiatus until august” or my new standard troll response of “you should smile more, you’d be so much prettier if you smiled”

But I want to believe you are being in earnest and not trying to tell me how I should feel.

So let’s talk about this, yeah?

I am lucky. I have incredible and caring fans.  I get more comments than a lot of talented and wonderful writers. I get kudos, and fanart, and just an astounding amount of support from people and I am grateful for it every fucking day.

You say here “sometimes the excitement over your fics can be misinterpreted”, but I have to ask what excitement did you see?

any updates on the improbable invention of love? thx

Where is the care and excitement in this ask? What in here shows me they care about me as a person and not just the provider of the story? No, i love the fic, i know you are busy, god i cannot wait for harry and merlin to get it on. You are right this is a genuine ask for info, but there is zero regard in it. Especially considering there are multiple places where I made it clear that the story was on break. It is right on the front of the story that no there won’t be any updates. My tumblr post on it is still pretty high on the merlahad tag.

I do think fans mean well, and yes due to some shit comments or asks, writers can be over sensitive to some things that are meant to be neutral. But anon asks always add an edge to it. Because I am a pretty open and welcoming person, so a mutual or an actual name saying, “Hey, Invention of Love isn’t updating, you okay?” like @demonicsymphony did once, vs anon “any updates?” doesn’t get my back up the same way.

“Hiya, I am super into Invention of Love, can’t wait for more!” wouldn’t have taken any different time to type. I would have recognized it as fishing for information about updating but it would have made me feel great, I would have reiterated the hiatus and likely given a little snippet from one of the upcoming chapters to make people happy.

Words carry weight, when you ask questions on anon, you have to honestly think how much are you asking people to carry.

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[busstop]

This really shocked me. I was a fan of @latelatenarry's old blog. Couple of months ago, when she set up a new blog - @homemadenarry (later given her original name) I found I couldn't follow it - couldn't work out why - and I messaged her, to see if she could help, cos I loved her stuff (especially Axiom) and always reblogged it. Got no reply, so tried again a few weeks later, but still no reply - I was gonna ask one of our mutuals to ask her, in case Tumblr had glitched and she hadn't got my messages.

Then today, I see posts from my My Mad Fat Diary fandom chums that several of one of our writers' fics have been copied, almost *word for word* - given new titles, and our lovebirds Rae & Finn replaced with Harry Styles & Y/N.

I thought, "Oh, it'll be a new blog, someone I've never heard of,"... but it's Charlie, @latelatenarry! I hadn't noticed at the time, because the stories were reposted *after* she'd blocked me - I realise now that she'd seen me mention MMFD in my posts or bio, and was worried that I was likely to recognise these stories as MMFD fics - too bloody true, cos we're a small fandom, so everyone reads everything! We're blessed with a bunch of insanely talented writers. These stories were stolen from Erin, @how-ardently, who has been inactive for about 18 mths - convenient if you're stealing her work - the fics are from 2015/16, and are on AO3 as well as Tumblr.

I couldn't believe it at first - why would Charlie need to steal fic, when she has published so many great fics of her own? Completely unnecessary, right? I tend to think the best of people until proven otherwise, so it's taken me a few hours, but I've now come round to the possibility that (some of) her other stuff may have been stolen from *other* relatively obscure fandoms that you wouldn't expect to find 1D fans in. (There ARE people who love My Mad Fat Diary AND 1Direction!)

Some of the MMFD fandom have tried messaging @latelatenarry, but got no reply. However, she has deleted the stolen fics. (We have screen grabs of all of them, though, and you can still find intro paras on other people's reblogs).

I can see other 1D writers whose work I love have left lovely, supportive comments under the stolen work, and it's rotten you've been duped by your colleague. (I can't leave a comment myself saying, 'It's great, isn't it? Erin @how-ardently wrote it two years ago..." cos I'm blocked!) So perhaps you'd consider deleting your comments/reblogs for the following fics:

Intangible (Spatial Reasoning, by howardently, 2015)

Honesty Hour, pt1& pt2 (3 Rounds And A Sound, by howardently, 2015)

It's Never Over (Madness, by howardently, 2016)

If you've seen My Mad Fat Diary, why not treat yourself to Erin's 36 other wonderful MMFD fics? (And if you haven't seen My Mad Fat Diary, sort yourself out!)

Thanks for listening. A big kiss from the delicious Finn Nelson for each of you! 💕

Hello, I'm the anon who came across the Harry fic plagerism. If I had known you were the beta, I would have come to you. I did message howardently but as she doesn't come on tumblr anymore, I wasn't sure what else to do. I don't have a tumblr myself so don't know how these things work, or how to report this sort of thing. I am so glad that more people are aware. I also sent latelatenarry several messages but all it did was make her blog private. The shame. I want to say sorry, cause she won't.

Hello lovely anon. Thank you so much for speaking up. You did exactly the right thing by letting Erin know and I’m sure she’s grateful to you. 

To tell you the truth, I don’t know if there is somewhere on tumblr to report this kind of thing to, but I appreciate your efforts to let someone know and thanks to those efforts, latelatenarry has since taken down another two fics, which I can only assume she’s stolen as well. I only read the one you originally pointed out because I naively thought she wouldn’t be crazy/rude/unethical/amoral enough to do it more than once. I’m an idiot obviously. 

It begs the question; who else’s hard work has she stolen? She’s prolific it seems, but who’s to say it’s stuff she hasn’t taken from other writers in other fandoms, thinking she’ll get away with it. The balls on this person; fucking unbelievable.

Some things I found:

On posting “Three Rounds and a Sound” as “Honesty Hour”.

  That she called it that fucking riles me something fierce and the ‘not sure how I feel about this one’? I don’t know, you must have felt pretty good about it to knock it off. Yes, she changed the names, and threw in enough of her fandom to fit her particular narrative and I guess, her writing ‘style’ *cough* but it’s 95% Erin’s.

On how there won’t be any more (because Erin didn’t write it). I did follow her advice though and sent a complaint.

From her FAQ; the rules she makes everybody else live by:

The advice she gives others:

Bless you anon, for giving a shit and for wanting to apologise because she won’t. You have nothing to apologise for. You done good. Thank you. xo

Some of you may feel I’ve been a little harsh, calling her out like this, or that it’s got nothing to do with me but I don’t agree. I will go into bat for anyone in this fandom but this is my friend; I know how hard she works and that her stories mean a great deal to her, so what would you expect me to do? 

If you write or make fan art or gifs, you know what it takes, you know how much of yourself goes into everything you create. 

There are always going to be some ideas that bump up against each other; it’s understandable and inevitable and there’s nothing wrong with being so inspired by something that you are compelled to write your own take on it (while acknowledging and crediting the original creator) but this? No. Laying claim to other people’s work and passing it off as your own is outrageous and wrong, so I’ve said something. Not that I think it’ll change this person’s mind or that she’ll even give a shit in the slightest, but I couldn’t not say anything. I’ve never seen plagerism this close up before. It’s ugly.

Also, many thanks to @rinnship for saying something to latelatenarry on the fic before she took it down and to @ch1darkcy and @kneekeyta for spreading the word. Ta very much. xo