#like you i also love reading looong messages!!!

[sturnlsstuff]

MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo

| ".... god, i hate that i missed you so much"

pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader

summary: your dealer has been out of town for almost two weeks and after he's finally back, he texts you needing to see you.

warnings; smut, dom!chris, sub!reader, p in v, pet names, praising, unprotected sex, dirty talking, hair pulling, rough sex, car sex, crying, public¿ sex, cursing, mdni

a/n: literally my first fanfic after a looong time so please bear with me, if its bad... you know why. english isnt my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also its a little long 😭 part two here !!

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she laughed at some joke her friend made and took another bite of her pizza. it was late friday afternoon, she and her bestfriends were hanging out, since there was nothing else to do. everything was great, until her phone buzzed. she looks at her screen, immediately smiling when she sees his name. she wasn't even aware that her lips had curved into a smile.

her friends were too busy with their own conversation, so she uses her moment and grabs her phone, reading the message from chris. she hasn't heard from him in over two weeks, she had no clue what he was doing, or where he was. she also didn't want to ask, hating the feeling of being too desperate. and it's not like he owns her any explanation either.

chris: u busy?

she bites her lip, fighting the urge to smile again as she replies back.

y/n: hi to you too

y/n: yeah im out with friends, whats up

chris: having fun?

chris: when u gonna be home ma?

y/n: like in an hour or so

chris: can u hurry up? c'mon kid i miss ya

y/n: you do???

she can't help but genuinely grins this time, her eyes widen a little. did he miss her? or was he just saying that to make her give in? he always knew how to talk to her, to make her going feral over him. but she wanted to believe he means it this time.

chris: hell yeah i do

chris: get ur ass out here

she looks at her friends, that were still yapping about something, that she couldn't care less about right now. she needed to see him. he never said he missed her before.

y/n: then come pick me up, im sending u the address

chris: omw gorgeous

chris is already in his car, when she sends him the address. not being able to see her for over two weeks, made him think. A lot. he has been her drug dealer for over a year now, there was tension between them since the beginning, so it didnt take them long to finally fuck at some party a few months ago. and since then, it's happening every now and then, usually they meet to smoke together, then they end up all over each other.

after a few minutes, he parks the car in front of the pizzeria, finally seeing her. she made a stupid excuse for her friends to leave, not being able to hide her excitement, so they just could assume what was going on.

chris gets out of the car, looking her up and down, licking his lips as she was only wearing a black crop top and baggy camo pants. he personally loved those, especially on her.

he opens the door for her, a smirk playing on his lips. "get in."

she tried her hardest to act casual, but just seeing him after a while, in all black outfit, was enough to make her dizzy. and she could swear he got a haircut. his hair was so much shorter, and she loved it.

she smiles, keeping the eye contact while getting inside the car. he closes the door, his eyes roaming all over her body as she walked towards him. he snaps back to reality, getting to the other side and climbing back into the drivers seat. he was feeling so many things that he couldn't express.

"missed me so bad, you couldn't wait an hour, huh?" she speaks up, putting on the seatbelt and looking over at him, while he starts the car.

she notices the way he looks her up and down, his eyes stopping at her exposed skin a little too long.

"i've missed my favorite customer." he smirks, going back to the eye contact.

"yeah, your favorite customer... right." she says sarcastically, trying her hardest to keep her cool and not to blush under his stare.

he grins before replying, focused on keeping his hands on the wheel instead of her body. it was getting harder with every second. "yeah, the one i always gotta give free stuff to."

"oh, dont act like i force you to do this..." she scoffs, still looking at him. "you know i always want to pay you."

"i know y'do... doesn't mean i will stop givin' it to you for free though."

"see, and that's crazy."

chris rolls his eyes, loving and hating at the same time, how she always had to talk back to him. he's driving, planning to go to her house, but the way she's looking right now, and especially her attitude, is making him crazy. he feels his dick getting harder with every second.

"whatever, ma. i know you secretly like it."

"yeah, sure." she mumbles with sarcastic tone, her eyes still watching him. seeing him driving was one of her favorite things in the world, he always looked so good. she appreciates, that he gives her stuff for free or cuts down her prices, but dealing was his job, he was making money out of it, so she always felt bad when he didnt want her cash. "what made you busy for so long? thought the cops caught or some shit"

chris bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to her for a second, before focusing back on the road. he never felt so desperate like right now, just having her in his car like that...

once he hears her question, he snaps back to reality and smiles. "the cops? please, sweetheart, they can suck my dick."

chris changes his direction, spotting an empty parking lot and he drives there. "i was out of town, had to deal with some business... nothin' to worry about now." he explains, parking and turning off his car, and his stare travels to her, scanning her face and body. "you're so curious...."

she nods, now understanding why he wasn't texting her these past two weeks, she was a bit ashamed 'cause she honestly thought maybe he got bored of her, so she didn't text him either. she still got some weed until yesterday, so she also had no reason to.

"why would you stop here?" she asks, looking at him with a little frown, but once she sees his smirk, the realization hits her. the excitement filling her body, the tension between them so noticeable, it makes her shiver.

he stares at her for a moment, adjusting his pants and then suddenly he unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back in his seat so there was more space now.

"c'mere."

her eyes travels down on his lap, seeing the noticeable big bulge even through his jeans. she blushes slightly, looking back at him, the smirk still playing on his lips and it makes her weak in her knees.

"chris..." he cuts her off by reaching over and grabbing her chin, tilting her face closer to his.

"y'gonna do what i said, or keep talking back?"

she immediately unbuckles her seatbelt, moving over the center console and she gets into his lap, straddling him. she wasn't gonna act like she didn't miss him too, because, goddamn, she did. she presses herself onto his hard dick, watching him closely, and seeing how desperate and frustrated he was right now. It made her feel a little bit of a power, that she decided to take advantage of.

"now, was that so hard, ma?" he smirks even more, trying to hide his growing need for her, but his hands moves to grip onto her thighs. he felt the urge to touch her all over.

"you know, fifteen more minutes and we would be at my place-"

"you really think, i would wait fifteen fucking minutes, when i havent seen you for two weeks, and you look like that?" he loves the way she looks at him, with such admiration. she was so pretty in his eyes, he never felt this type of desperation for anyone ever before.

"and who's fault is that?" his hands grips her tighter and puts her closer in on his lap, making a little bit of friction, that he so desperately needs. his fingers digging into her skin, while he stares into her eyes.

"shut up for once, yeah?"

"make me." she smirks, challenging him. he doesn't have to hear it twice, loving the attitude she's giving him right now. his hand moves up from her thigh to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer and he kisses her roughly, grabbing her ass with his other hand as he does.

she smiles against his lips, immediately kissing him back with the same intensity, and she grinds down against his clothed dick, feeling her own need growing with every second. she missed the way he kissed her, she missed his lips, his hands all over her, his body against hers. she missed him and she hated to admit that.

she slides her tongue into his mouth, he bites her lip in response and lets her lead the kiss. moving up his hips to feel her more and not being able to hold back, he groans against her lips. he never felt so needy before. he pulls away for a moment to speak, and starts trailing kisses down her neck, squeezing her ass, before his hand moves up, caressing the skin on her exposed stomach.

"god, i hate that i missed you so much."

it slips from his mouth, he doesn't think much about it as he sucks on her skin, but for her it meant everything. she tilts back her head, giving him more space and she grinds against his lap some more, running her hand through his brown hair. he lets out a growl as she grinds down on him, making him even harder and he bucks his hips up again. lifting up his head from her neck his stare finds hers, the noticeable lust in his eyes made her bite her lip to hold back a moan. the smirk coming back to his face once he notices her flushed cheeks.

"what 'bout you, huh, ma? missed me too?"

she closes her eyes, their face so close to each other, it makes their lips brush when she replies him back.

"yeah... i did"

he grins, his hands playing with the waistband of her pants. that's all he needed to know, that she missed him as much as he missed her. even though they both were aware, they should'nt.

"how much, hm?" he unzips her pants, she lifts herself up, gripping his shoulders to balance herself and helps him take them off. then she straddles him again, trying to hold back her smile, but not being able to.

"want me to show you?"

he groans after her words, feeling her wet panties pressing against his hard dick and he bucks up his hips again, being so desperate, that he was ready to beg her. he starts marking her neck again, his hand traveling between her legs, massaging her clit through her underwear. her breath hitches in her throat, she lets out a little whine and grips his hair slightly.

"so wet already... shiiiitttt... all this f'me, huh?" he says against her skin, bitting on it slightly and making her moan. he adds more pressure, circling over her clit. "lift this shit up."

his tone demanding, he wasn't asking. she lifts up her top, revealing her breasts. he looks at her now, his eyes going back and forth between her tits, and her face. "fuck... not wearing a bra? fuckin' slut..."

he licks her hard nipple, then starting sucking on it. her hand tightens in his hair, tilting her head back and she lets out more whimpers. she was supposed to be the one in control this time, she craved it and saw how needy he is, but the way he's touching her, makes her losing her mind. he then pulls her panties to the side, running his fingers through her wet folds and suddenly putting one inside her. not even giving her any time, he just starts pumping in and out, adding another finger after a moment, now stretching her out. he pulls away from her nipple, looking at her face.

"c-chris..." she moans quietly, trying her hardest to keep the eye contact, but struggles to do so. her hands now traveling down his chest and unbuckling his belt.

"yeah, ma? y'like that?" he tries to keep his cool, still working his fingers inside her dripping pussy, curling them and making her whine in response. "look at you... so, fuckin' desperate on my lap. missed my fingers, huh? want some more?"

she desperately nods, squeezing around his fingers, but once he feels that, he pulls them out immediately putting them in his mouth to lick them clean. she whines, pouting her lips when he stops.

"show me how much you missed this dick then."

she bites her lip, unzipping his pants and with his help, she pulls them down to his knees, his boxers following after a second. chris leans his head back against the seat, gripping her hips as she gives him a few strokes before pulling her underwear to the side. she runs her thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and spreading it all over his cock, using it as a lubricant and then she lowers herself slowly on his cock, the movement making them both moan out loud with pleasure. she stays like this for a moment, needing to adjust after these past two weeks without him.

"fuckk...so tight...your pussy was made f'me.." he groans, tightening his grip on her hips and he watches her closely, as she finally starts moving on him. he’s holding himself back from moving up his hips and taking over, trying so hard not to thrust into her. he loves the feeling of her body against his and he’s missed it so much. he needed it, he needed her and he hated that. the feeling just kept growing, making the space in the car feel even smaller.

he pulls her back down into another kiss, this time more sloppy, continuing to move his tongue against hers, tasting her. she kisses him back, starting speeding up her pace and now bouncing on him harder. his dick hitting just all the right spots, making her moan loudly while chris tries to focus on the kiss and not to lose his composure. he wanted to take over, he always did, but the feeling of her riding him like that, has him gripping the seat. he grits his teeth, trying to keep himself together and he knows his patience wont last long. he looks up at her again, his eyes glued to her face.

"fuckkkk, ma.... takin' all of me so well... shit..." he hisses, when she speeds up even more. "so good.... s-so good f'me...."

she grips into his shoulders more, moaning loudly at his praises and she continues moving. chris is in complete ecstasy as she picks the pace up, a feeling like he hasn’t experienced before. there's just something about her on top and taking what she wants, that's got him feeling so many things at once.

“fuck.. just like that” one of his hands grab her ass, giving it a squeeze and then slapping it. "fuckin' slut... you like it? fucking in my car? takin' it just like a little bitch.... yeah? shitttt..."

he moans now not being able to hold back, and he starts thrusting into her. she gasps for air, her eyes closing shut as she tightens around him. "oh, wanna cum, huh? not yet darlin'...." he grips her hips more, his tip hitting her g-spot with every move.

"chris i-"

she cuts herself off with another moan, not being able to think straight. she digs her nails into the back of his neck, her head falling down on his shoulder and he immediately stops. her eyes snap open, she lifts up her head to look at him, a smirk playing on his lips.

"you better don't look away f'me, ma.... wanna see your pretty face y'know? and keep makin' those sexy little sounds...got it?"

she nods, but it's not enough from him as he speaks up again. "use your words baby, c'mon... you aint that fucked out of your mind yet, hm?"

"i got it, just... please..." she whines, moving her hips, wanting to bounce on him again, but he stops her. she pouts. "chrissss......"

"get to the backseat." he demands, after scanning her face for a while. he wanted to give her all the pleasure she deserves. he wasn't even thinking about himself, he couldn't care less about his release. he just needed to make her feel good, making sure no one else can do what he can.

she pulls away from him, now moving over the center console again, struggling a bit but she gets into the backseat. chris obviously smacks her ass as she does, what makes her squeak.

"chris!"

but he just smirks, pulling off his pants and boxers all the way down and throwing it on the passenger seat, so it wasn't in the way. he gets on the back himself, there was little space, but enough to get into his favorite position. chris puts his hand on her back, forcing her to get on her knees and hands on the seat, as he positions himself behind her. chris loves the way he can get her all desperate and begging, so he teases her now. he moves his tip along her folds, making her whine. then he slowly puts it in, but after a few seconds he pulls back again.

"chris...." she whines, knowing he's playing with her now.

"yeah, baby?"

she bites her lip, her face pressing into the seat and she lifts up her hips more. "stop teasing me, please...."

he grins even more, slapping her pussy with his dick and then he suddenly pulls his cock all the way in, making her gasp and scream out of pleasure. the new angle let him hit all of her sweet spots.

"whatever you want, princess." he starts thrusting into her with a very intense and fast pace, going as deep as he could. the car now filled up with her moans and the sounds of skin slapping against each other. he grips her hips tight, keeping her in place. he can feel her squeezing around his cock again, and he lets out a growl. "c'mon.... cum all over me...wanna see you while y'do..."

chris moves one of his hands, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, having a good view on her face. her mouth wide open, letting out loud moans, her eyes rolling back.

"oh my god!" she cries out, gripping the edge of the seat like her life depended on it and she releases, the wet, squelching sound coming from her now louder. he groans, kissing her neck and whispering into her ear.

"you feel so good... cummin' like that f'me... such a good girl.."

she moans, squeezing around him again, the overstimulation now making her shiver as he keeps going with the crazy pace, not slowing down at all. he lets go of her hair, her head immediately falling onto the seat and he grips by her hips again, making sure she feels him as deep as he wants her to. he growls, being on the edge himself.

"i'm... close.." he mutters, throwing his head back. "gonna fill you up, yeah?"

she whines nodding desperately, but then he smacks her ass giving her a sign to answer verbally.

"shit! yes, fuck, yes chris, please!" she feels tears filling up her eyes from the pleasure, a few of them coming down her cheeks moment later. chris bites his lip, feeling her tightening around him. he moves one of his hands between her legs, now rubbing her clit, while still thrusting hard into her, but his movements getting sloppier. she cries out, her legs trembling and his dick twitches, finally cumming inside her, his warm sticky release filling her up and dripping out of her. he curses under his breath, digging his fingers into her skin, leaving bruises as he does. she feels him cumming, and the overstimulation from him lazily massaging her clit and still hitting her g-spot, makes her finish again. the pressure in her stomach now becoming too much, unable to hold back, she feels the liquid squirts out of her in waves.

his eyes snap open, looking down at her and he growls. he slows down until he eventually stops, after they both ride out their highs, this time not wanting to overstimulate her. looking at the mess she made, he can't help but feel a bit cocky about it.

"shit, ma.... squirtin' all over me, huh? is it how it is now?" he smirks, a little surprised that he made her do that but he couldn't be more proud. he pulls out of her, letting go of her hips and her body immediately falls onto the seat. she's breathing heavily, not being able to reply yet. "that's my fuckin' girl.."

he runs his fingers along her inner thigh, collecting her and his cum and he leans in a bit, covering over her. he looks at her fucked out expression and the smudged mascara on her cheeks. "look at me."

she opens her eyes, her mind blank, body shaking. he puts his fingers into her mouth, she immediately cleans them up, tasting both his and her release on her tongue, making sure she keeps the eye contact with him while she does that.

"you're so hot." he says now kissing the tears on her cheeks away. "took me so well..."

she smiles, seeing his flushed cheeks and messy hair sticking to his forehead. it was her favorite view.

"y'good, kid? don't go all mute on me now.."

"don't call me that...." she mumbles, trying to get her sarcastic attitude back, but she was absolutely spent right now. "i'm fine."

he just grins, gently patting her cheek before he pulls away. she slowly lifts herself up, trying to fight her trembling legs and she sits up now, facing him. not being able to do anything more yet, her glare moving to her legs and the seat she made mess on. she feels her cheeks growing hotter, now suddenly embarrassed and trying to ignore his stare. this never happened to her with him before and she didn't know what he thought about it.

"sorry about... the seats" she mumbles, grimacing.

he raises his eyebrows, now seeing her embarrassment and he doesn't understand why. it was a little surprising but he felt so proud. he already wanted to make her do it all over again. "you f'real? don't even say sorry, ever again."

she's still not so sure, blushing even more as he wipes her cheeks from the smudged mascara and then runs his hand through her hair, trying to fix it a little bit. he smiles softly. "gonna clean this up later, don't you worry 'bout that, okay?"

chris then reaches into the center console for the tissues, grabbing them and spreading her legs with his hands. she watches him closely seeing how he starts just gently cleaning her up. this simple movement makes her feel the heat rising from her cheeks down to her neck, so she just covers her face with her hands shyly. not really being able to understand why is she so embarrassed this time, he grabs her wrists, forcing her hands to move away from her face.

"y'gotta be kiddin' me. don't hide from me, ma." chris mutters. "not when you made such pretty mess in my car."

with a quiet sigh, she lets him take her hands off of her face. she chews on her bottom lip nervously while he goes back to cleaning her up, touching her slightly as she was made from some kind of glass. it was even cute, how he just made sure she was fine. it's not their first rough sex, but this one was definitely more intense and for some reason felt so... different. she had this strange feeling in her chest, just seeing him focused on wiping her legs and how he didn't seem to care about his covered in her release seats. once he's done, he sits beside her, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and pulling her close. she doesn't like the silence, even if before it was never awkward, this one was bothering her as she couldn't stop feeling unfamiliar emotions.

"i ran out, by the way." she suddenly blurts out, making him laugh. there was no way in hell this girl was real.

"yeah? good to know. gonna give y'some more later."

"im paying this time."

"oh, you've paid enough already." she immediately looks up at him, smacking his shoulder and he chuckles in response, pretending to be in pain. "woaaahh, bein' a little brat again, hm?"

"that's not funny, im giving you money." her tone shows no objection, he smirks and nods, knowing he won't take anything from her anyway. they sit like that for a moment, before he speaks up, knowing he will get another hit after that.

"soooo... round two?"

"christopher, i swear to god."

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a/n: oh my god this seems sooo long 😭 tell me what yall think, i feel like i kinda fucked up with the whole dealer vibe but lmk please! i honestly enjoyed writing that so who knows..

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: What Greek Mythology love story would you and your FS be?

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[pile 1 to 3- left to right]

Just came out of a bone-crushing healing and shadow work period for my Kundalini Awakening going on right now T-T In an attempt to raise my spirits, I created my very first FS reading-

pile 1:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

This is the movie pile. I see a full-blown movie arc in my mind’s eye for your love story with your FS. I see an opening at- you guys meeting, the middle act- your separation and individual trials, and the final act- the happy reunion! OBVIOUSLY, there's nuance to how all of this will unfold for each of y’all reading since it's real life we're talking about, but your story with your FS is the closest thing to a happily-ever-after if I've ever seen one.

It's like when y’all first met, y’all were young, or maybe some of y’all didn't know how to handle a relationship or didn't have the resources in the 3D (think money or a place of your own, something like that) to make this relationship happen? Maybe it was long distance for a looong time? And so, for whatever reason (along said lines) y’all had to let each other go or y’all couldn't be together. It's like y’all were shown a grand possibility to be together, and BOOM it was taken away.

Then you guys enter a separation period right after, and the length of this period will differ for everybody reading, anywhere between months to a couple of years. After having worked HARD on yourselves ON YOUR OWN to overcome your personal issues, traumas, and suffering, you guys come together. The key to really mastering your obstacles is in the day to day. You will have set routines to tackle your obstacles, such as say you’ve got anxiety or a dys-regulated nervous system, so maybe you'll always have a stress relief meditation scheduled in no matter how your day looks. So on and so forth, fill in the details of this period as it best suits your life. But the common denominator, I feel like, is that y’all really fight to be with one another. The love is so deep here, and that's what motivates each of you to overcome your personal hurdles, yk? And THEN, when it happens, and y’all reunite, it's sooo beautiful. It's like you guys will build a brand new life together where you can put the past behind and finally enjoy the fruits of your labor! Also, I see you guys growing and blossoming over time with your FS upon reunion 🥺✨.

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

It’s the story of Cupid and Psyche!

From what I’ve read about this story, Cupid and Psyche couldn’t immediately be together after they met. Cupid could only meet Psyche at night AND she’s not even allowed to see him! T-T This was part of what Psyche has to overcome- the challenges put forth by Aphrodite just because the goddess was jealous of Psyche. And poor Cupid had self-esteem issues from what I gather lmao. He didn't even feel worthy to show his mortal wife what he REALLY looked like (which, by the way, is GORGEOUS af?! Like who hurt you, Cupid?) They eventually overcome their odds and reunite. Eventually, Jupiter blesses Psyche with immortality, which allows them to live forever in their new life happily ever after. Ahhh… beautiful.

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages! Buuut that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

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pile 2:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

Reeeeally strongly coming in right off the bat, I feel like both you AND your FS will be turning a brand new leaf in your lives. Think a new job for one or both of you. A major relocation for one or both of you. A major relationship ending for one or both of you. You catch the drift, right?

It feels like y’all will be closing out a cycle and entering into a new era, so to speak. And in this new era, I sense that you'll keep mostly to yourself and aren't all that interested in anybody because you're still processing this BIG shift you just went through and you're reflecting a lot, drawing on your wisdom, staying in your lane. Ngl, you do feel vulnerable and raw too, which is probably why you seem to keep to yourself mostly during the time you might run into your FS. I sense the same from their end too.

You know what this is? Mutual healing. Your future spouse finds you at a time when you're in the dead center of healing and vice versa. You will both be the catalysts to each other's healing! How cool is that? And after y’all find stability in your journey together especially after navigating healing for so long… I see y’all being so comfortable and content and peaceful with one another 🥺 this makes my heart full!! Stop it! Ahhhhhh <3 The vibes are immaculate, it's giving 'comrades in the battlefield' kinda energy. Your FS will stick with you no matter what, literally. And that's the kind of loyalty many people only dream about. Love it 🤌🏾. Y’all will love each other's pain away 🥺😩. Ugh my heart can't take it anymore!

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

It’s the story of Odysseus and Penelope!

Now in the story of Odysseus and Penelope, both of them undergo significant changes and face major disruptions in their lives. Odysseus’s long journey home from the Trojan War and Penelope’s long period of waiting and dealing with suitors at home. BUT even in Odysseus's absence, Penelope remains faithful and focused on her own survival and household. Similarly, Odysseus endures many trials and tribulations. Both characters are found in a state of self-reflection in the face of personal challenges (in my humble opinion of course). Their reunion symbolizes mutual healing… both of our characters here show incredible loyalty and perseverance despite being apart for 20 years!

-Side note: on a completely different note, your story low key kinda reminds me of the story of James and Claire from Outlander >< shoutout to the Outlander fans hehehehe, I'm waiting for the 9th season to come out SO BAD ughhhh lmao-

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages for yourself! Annnnd that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

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pile 3:

General vibe of your love story with your FS-

Ah.. my Pile number 3s.. you guys are afraid to love.. aren't you? You might be blocked off from your heart and as a result won’t be open to true reciprocal and healthy love for a WHILE. But then I see that the divine will enter your life in some way and shake you up in a big way to show you how you've been standing in your own way and keeping love at a distance.. I'm seeing the tower card in my third eye as I say this even though it hasn't come out for you today.

Ah, this is like a personal journey I see you taking before your FS comes in and swoops you off your pretty lil feet 🙃 tehe! Your energy seems quite mental to me. You love living in your head, thinking, planning, analyzing, and just knowing things. But this came at the grave cost of not being connected to your heart.. and when the divine intervenes and helps you connect to your heart again is when your FS comes in flying ✨.

Side note: Ooh.. suddenly I hear Lavender Haze by our queen Taylor Swift? Take that only if it resonates for you :]

But yea, I see you struggling and feeling out of control when all of this happens because you're used to being in control of things usually but now all of this has you a bit overwhelmed I'm ngl.. but you end up navigating this perfectly well! Yay! I'm glad haha 😅🫂👏🏾

So… which Greek myth sums up YOUR love story with your FS the best?

drum roll

The story of Pygmalion and Galatea!

Yup, just like how Pygmalion accidentally manifested Galatea, you kinda accidentally manifest your future spouse too (low key reeeal funny ngl). Because Pygmalion refused to love anybody, he sculpted out his perfect woman and fell in love with his creation. His deep affections attract the attention of you guessed it Aphrodite herself, and she decides to ahem intervene. She brings Galatea to life, which represents the transformation of Pygmalion's mental fixation (and emotional disconnection) TO emotional CONNECTION. How perfectly beautiful. Ugh. Love your story, Pile 3. Gosh.. who doesn't love their FS simply falling into their laps? Haha

I encourage you to read the original story (or watch it on YT, do whatever you like :p) to pick up on any additional messages! Soooo that’s all I have for you lovely folks today.

Love and loads of light, sweet pea :)

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[abyss-seer]

Pick A Card Reading

How to find that depth in your relationships to keep its spark going? What is it that you aren't seeing/doing when it comes to navigating your love life?

Disclaimer: All content in this reading, including interpretations and messages, belongs to me and should not be copied, reproduced, or distributed without permission. The images used are sourced from Pinterest and do not belong to me. They are for illustrative purposes only.

A love read for people in relationships. Singles can also watch it. Minors do not interact. These reads can be used as an insight provider for your current or past relationships and can be used for self improvement or relationship improvement journaling.

I personally don't believe in picking up other's energies except the person interacting with my energy. So this would be an insight guide on your relationships through your energy. For singles out here, this read can be for you, just take the shoe if it fits and can be used as an insight guide as well, you may or may not get the messages of your liking here. Channelled messages are in double quotation text.

So trigger warning ⚠️ these reads are long can be triggering, are pretty deep and require presence of mind. Sorry ADHD people, but trust me on this. This is an intuitive psychic work. Please only take the storyline of what resonates. If its not for you, its not meant to be. A lot of violence, SA and intense themes of suicide came up,please take breaks while reading it, this read was one long and intense ride. I cried many times, its pretty intense and looong. Its too much honestly speaking Iam a Scorpio and this is a deep emotionally intense ride, so take your time, if you feel you have understood the message and jist of the reading mid way reading it, please leave. There's no compulsion,this read is for the purposes of journalling only. And yeah, I am sorry for not including pictures of diverse couples. please forgive me, just got those 6 pictures as my pinterest recommends.

So today I asked my cards for a PAC topic so this is what came through

These are some channeled song. At first I thought I had to help you guys express your feelings to your partners and get out of your comfort zone but then came a message from the people in relationships who are circling back in a loveless relationship just for the comfort of it, have love for each other, the $ex could have been kept at side (even though its good) and are struggling to keep the spark going despite loving each other the most and feeling as if the relationship is at its brink despite having an open communication and conversation. So what is it that will keep "us" going? Idk what it is, but let's find out, and see what comes out. If you have been feeling this way, this might be the reading for you. This can be applied to similar context with "friends just for now" (situationships) or people who haven't found their significant other where you guys could be having trouble moving past the comfort zone to express those real and genuine feelings. In the end take what resonates and leave the rest.

Every pile is divided into 6 categories

1. Confirmations

2. How deep is your relationship with them? (Singles this could be your past or future person, idk take it how it resonates)

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationships?

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

6. What else can you do to navigate your/through your love life smoothly? (Cause love life sometimes needs navigating through some external obstacles 🤷🏻‍♀️)

So here are the piles

The link to pile 6 is here

Pile 1

1. Confirmations:

Someone here could be indian or from Spain or knows the language Hindi, and Spanish, 6, june, july, someone could have recently taken or shared their MBTI Test, Letters MBBP, the it boy song BBNO$, number 7, Isabel LaRosa's song I'm yours 🎵 you are so pretty it hurts🎵, Lion, ♌ Leo, july Leo

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Right off the bat, Im feeling thirsty 🥵 trust me I'm hearing DPR IAN -Dont go insane, the heavy breathing part with chains ⛓️ or belts. Ok. "Kaamna" you both could have wished for this relationship. Kaamna,Seema or Odette (the swan princess coming through) could be someone's name as well. I am also getting nutcracker music. Some of you here could be a ballerinas. Idk why all this gives me christmas vibes. Maybe some of you aren't over Christmas yet and haven't removed the decorations as well 😆.

Basically this doesn't seems like the traditional relationship but it definitely could be one of those relationships that is still at the early stages of commitment but could have been rushed without proper communication.

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships ?

High Priestess here said "You need to look for info within oneself " you both should see your old pictures, "I'm getting one man boat or boating pictures" and maybe revisit the site of that old business venture that you both wanted to do together but couldn't get time for it. It reminds me of a youtube animation movie with the same plot of growing apart from each other due to differences in goals, in the movie, the husband and wife came together and wanted to open a bakery together. So the husband and wife started earning money through various sources and had to leave their hobbies of baking behind to focus on work/ for someone this could be about focusing on shares rather than what you are passionate about doing. Anyway all this hustle culture could have promoted both of you quickly and may have rewarded you with lots of money only to forget about what both of you were actually passionate about despite getting a small pay for pursuing those hobbies. This is specific but someone could have started an Only Fans, to earn a lot of money only to invite their friends over to gain cash in terms of price for their services. It seems like you both could have forgotten the real reason both of you yearned for this money. "Its over a month already" "when will we get new clients" I guess this is the energy that is coming through. But yeah what you need to look for is your search for your inner calling.

4. What is it that you aren't doing/seeing about your relationship?

I'm getting the word "Seema" . Seems like you are pretty bad at setting proper boundaries in the guise of thinking "its hot" even when its uncomfortable for you. Do you, Iam not judging, just know that it isn't hot when it's uncomfortable to do so. You seem to have a hard time leaving what doesn't serves you anymore.

And the other thing you are doing is not connecting with people who can give you meaningful connections. There's a lack of wholesomeness in your connections cause there are beautiful connections that you are gifted with which aren't getting their deserving time and attention from you, because you could be so tired and exhausted of overbearing new relationships in this relationship that you are almost handling your meaningful connections in a wild manner.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Its this unconscious, unsaid yet unfamiliar promise that you have unknowingly kept with others. Its the vows that you could be breaking. Someone's name could be "Colby,Coby,Cody". I don't necessarily think it's the vows that you have kept. It's that when we agree to live a normal life in society, we bind ourselves to follow a social moral code of conduct. And that includes not being a participant in breaking the vows or promises we have knowingly or unknowingly made with other people for eg the promise of not leaving others behind in misery after they have helped you through your tough times. Please don't try to hurt other people knowingly or unknowingly without their consent as there's a huge karmic energy piling up through these un-consented individuals as they didn't subscribe to getting hurt, especially if you are someone in their plain sight

I'm also getting that someone (very sincere) here could have been left out in the drought and harsh period of their lives, while the person who promised to be with them kept them in the dark. Idk if this person has kept you in dark on purpose or not, and I can see how this vow must have bound you indefinitely and breaking it could have been the only way for you to express your deep pain, frustration, desire and anguish, but please don't hurt yourself in the process of hurting the other and getting revenge as its not necessary, your downfall could affect this person sometimes people can go from people you know to people you don't, and they can act indifferently to your misconduct. So don't go on ruining your life if that's the case.

Iam getting Kim Namjoon's lost, "you are a ghost" like there's heavy energy of getting ghosted, isolated and now ghosting other people in return and not wanting any sorts of physical contact with anyone. Wandering around with other people yet dissociating in your own body, cause you don't want to face the feeling, so you traumatize your body by engaging in $3xual behaviour you don't yourself like, so you can disengage yourself due the anger and hatred. Iam really sorry if you are going through this, but punishing/overstimulating your own body to forget this feeling isn't always the answer. Its your body at the end of the day, and our vessel has a limit to its stimulation. Please don't over exert yourself for these heart ripping feelings. This is so sad pile 1, I'm so sad you had to go through so much emotional turmoil and pain. I'm sorry if these messages triggered you and ruffled some feathers. I will put a trigger warning above this pile. You are a brave soul for facing those neglected feelings. Be proud of yourself for that.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all, here's Yamas :-

1. Ahimsa (Non-violence)

Avoid harm in thoughts, words, and actions to yourself, others, and nature. Practice kindness and compassion.

2. Satya (Truthfulness)

Be honest and truthful without causing harm. Align your words and actions with your inner truth.

3. Asteya (Non-stealing)

Do not take what does not belong to you, including material goods, time, or energy. Cultivate gratitude and generosity.

4. Brahmacharya (Moderation)

Practice self-control and balance your desires, especially regarding sensual pleasures. Focus on higher spiritual goals. Bring yourself to balance and focus on building a balanced mind for yourself

5. Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness)

Let go of greed and material attachments. Embrace simplicity and contentment with what you have.

Now that we are here. Dear Pile 1, stop remaining stuck in your fear of losing someone by making them remember you as someone they would regret leaving behind by describing highly of your life, yet being so hard on yourself (beating yourself up) for your own past regrets, and not being happy with your present, respecting the life lessons and wisdom you could have earned from those mistakes, no matter what job you had to do in your miserable times, you still have the chance to be someone who can change the world in one way or other. I just realised that there's so much pent up energy and frustration within you that some of you have burned yourself out in your own anger and anguish that some of you don't even realise how this constant effort to keep the spark alive is slowly killing you, venomous for you and is visually distorting you from your higher purpose in life. Do you believe that you have a higher calling in life? Stop trying so hard, and changing yourself.

Stop over analysing your success and your beautiful relationships based on your past experiences. They don't define you, the lessons you learnt from and actions you take based on them in your present makes you who you are today. Teach your learning to the world, share your happiness and do the things you want to live for. "I don't like, I don't care" it could be something you may say you don't like or care about due to low self esteem. Create an identity for yourself that doesn't revolve around relationships or love in general.

Clean and Tidy up yourself "your name" and meetup with new people, take that risk and make that talk, if you looking for reconciliation or are in a relationship, but aren't confident of making the first move, take that risk and do it. At first, saying your heart out might feel a bit heavy, restless, and even exhausting for you but work hard at being this compassionate lover, and expressing your inner vulnerability and emotions as some of you could struggle with opening up your heart, only if trust your partner or companion or the dating scene, it will change with a some patience and love for yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection, stand at your personal resolve of improving your love life and try opening up your heart space for others to let in. Don't bother with the people of low quality who play with you (if you are single and in dating scene). Avoid infections/ "plague" if you are in some open relationships(that was for somebody specific, im getting inflammatory disease). Also avoid spending low quality time with each other or remove distractions when spending time with each other.

"Do not leave behind the toilet roll, avoid leaving behind the toilet roll" idk what I just channeled

Hope I helped you Pile 1. Have a great day 💝😊

Pile 2

1. Confirmations

Fortnite -Taylor Swift,

🎵 and for a fortnite there, we were forever. 🎵Run into you sometimes,ask about the weather 🎵now you're in my backyard🎵, confusing between spirituality and materialism, water sign, sprinkles, water sprinklers, rain, aftermath of rain, growing of plants, swati nakshatra, earth sign, meditative energy, Dark complextion, "Grace", ate Tandoori, being on good graces, "correct your posture, straighten it", earthy or fresh forest or grassy or light floral mists or scents, African, caravan, trailer van, nomads, 3, march,4,April, Muladhara Chakra/root chakra, Father figure, someone is feeling a lack of father figure or fears facing things head on because their father figure failed to do so, Daytime, War, Letter : V,R,M,A,V,O,R

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

5 of wands - needless to say very competitive, and friends just for now

The depth of this relationship stays in terms of friendship as rivals, this relationship could be at a phase where both of you are just starting out and are getting to know each other, but the intensity of this romantic dynamic could have intensified with rivalry and healthy competitiveness which seems pretty good to be honest. Your energy reminds me of a mountain or mountain goat, a very persevering energy with a fixed mindset towards your own goals and deeds. "Reaches for the stars" That's what I have been meaning to say, you are someone ambitious and goal oriented and someone with traditional values and sometimes you might end up finding yourself pursuing your family's dream. Some of you could be hier to some sort ancestral legacy or business line. There's something here about "wanting to be just like them" in the times of celebration. Its as if wanting to hold hands during any wins or celebrations but ending up putting a lot of things at stake, I am getting Sleeping Beauty where if she touches the needle the entire kingdom goes to sleep due to Maleficent 's curse. Its something around that, its as if you both said your feelings out loud, some sort of false idea would vanish and you both will have to prepare to rebel against something. Im getting "La la la" from Naughty boy ft Sam Smith. It's as if you both are ready to cover your ears like a kid and go la la la.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

Five of Swords in reverse and three of cups - Sounds more like, you both need to stop trying to one up each other to the point of ending each other. I see silly fights between you two that end up being hurtful to each other's inner child. Its as if you both call out each other's egoistic selves and then get angry and cry over being called that 😭😭😭, stop fighting you two, I think there are times when your friendly fights might end up not only exposing each other but end up bruising each other's ego. (Tarot reader :- What is this? What are you two doing, Why are you two fighting each other like dogs? Stop getting on each other's neck and cutting off the oxygen supply, what are you two doing, French revolution?🤦🏻‍♀️)

But both of you love each other like its your time!

Ok you two, what?!!! You both need to stop fighting ugly bro/sis. There's some African spirit guide saying this. Like you know this, I don't even have to tell you, (the guide is like I don't have to tell you, mathafakarz, just stop it already). Oh my God the Drama between you too. Accept yourself for who you are and accept each other. Learn to be vulnerable enough to speak your wounds or past hurts or trauma to each other. Good friends understand each other. Oh God and stop acting like rivals only to end up hurting each other. Oh God why am I getting that you both care for each other after hurting sending each other videos of that Gwenchana deng deng deng deng . 🤣🤣🤣 What?! Okay Circus Jokers! You know what I am talking about. Just don't hurt each other and remain open to listening to the other side. Anyways one of you could have poked the other's hand with sea urchin or hedgehog spikes, idk why I channeled that, but I feel like that's what has isolated one from the other or something painful like that.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about your relationship?

Okay gurl/gal idk what can be more obvious than the title of the song itself. Aaaaaaaaaah!!! You both are closer than all this fighting, if something happens to you they will be there. Like I'm already hearing piano and guitar strings

Like the song is about a hope to see the person again and then yet wanting to forget. Idk maybe they are giving you hints, but you aren't reciprocating or responding despite THROWING THE OBVIOUS SIGNS, anyways this feels like a bestie that can never let you go but feels the obvious signs. Idk why now getting that maybe its you who has always been sending signals, maybe even sent them an UFO with Aliens to tell them that but they never respond. One of you isn't reciprocating or atleast responding to the obvious signs. When in spite you both might throw each other deep shade and other isn't responding. Okay what's with this love-hate relationship, now I am confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ you two like to role play Kendrick Lamar and Drake????

I guess they like you but you end up hurting them so much, you could be in such a hurry to get the results of perfecting your craft that you could have ended up treating them so unfairly that they felt hurt, their heart feels rushed and dragged, its as if even though they have good comebacks for your insults. It seems like you need to learn to take accountability when you are wrong instead of acting like you are right. Oh my God 😭 this person could be a musician. I understand this reading must sound so one sided, but its an introspective read, focused on you not them

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

These are some lyrics I channeled from Shinee Don't Call Me :

🎵You won’t be able to handle it, you’re just obsessed

Because nobody was good as I was, ya🎵

I am getting this lack of serious energy, and also this song 🎵rap việt không sao c���🎵 gosh girl why is this so annoying! Honestly I am getting someone who hides their disappointment in their love life, and through music (piano specifically) its as if they forget all their responsibilities and are burried within their own thoughts and feelings of hatred against each other hence they try to cope it with humour. This could be the case for both of you. You both are using humour to deflect responsibilities and accountability of hurting each other, i heard "almost ruining each other's life" to a point and extent where there's no return. Your comedy, is your deflection to not look at the world and accept the uniqueness of the creatures sent here by the Divine himself and live in harmony with them. I think you are a very light hearted joyous and nice person which is a good thing but this habit of yours is causing lack of depth in your relationships to an extent where people either don't see you as a marriage material or player or they might find you lack accountability in relationships making you unreliable and untrustworthy. Iam channeling Closer by Jungkook (Golden Album). " You grew morose and deeply pained by those sorrows your heart held in it deep mournful silence."

Idk what else could describe suppression of emotions better than this. There's so much trickery, malice and manipulation in this energy yet so much energy of a person who could have accepted every sort of pain thrown their way with grace, someone's mom in this pile could have "inhaled chains of smoke to keep you alive" "Iam getting the name "Parvati" and a mother figure, definitely feeling a broken person who could have been forced to accept any challenge thrown their way , and got traumatized to cross that invisible line created by their perpetrator

Iam seeing your lack of empathizing with yourself "for letting all the bad things happen to you ". even though I can assure you that none of this could have been your fault to begin with, causing you to deflect it with humour and hence not forming meaningful connections with the people , you often don't allow people into your heart space and say its alright. Hence you never ask for help and suffer alone, and then unconsciously do the same with other people,you let them suffer alone when they need you the most or worst hurt them where they feel like you are tricking them into sacrificing something/or a part of themselves unwillingly. Its the lack of depth or apparent lack of maturity or unwillingness to works with other's emotions with empathy cause you don't empathize with yourself that could make you seem lacking depth in relationships.

I'm also getting that this can be due to a lack of father figure or a disappointing father figure who couldn't show you how to fight wolves, hence you too learnt to give up cause you saw your pillar not fight for you and started depreciating every effort you made in life with humour, this father figure may have mocked your efforts or tricked you into sacrificing yourself in childhood due to which you don't take responsibility for mistakes you made in life and sometimes might end up sacrificing more than what is usually required of you to make up for those mistakes. Hence sometimes boosting your own ego or people perceiving you as someone egoistic. I'm sorry if you went through that. And stop saying its alright, its not alright, you never deserved to be treated like a toy, please treat yourself with empathy next time than saying its alright for everything and not expressing your obvious discomfort for things in life.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all what I see is somebody constantly getting defensive or lying about their culture and their origins, its as if you don't want to give a bad vibe for being someone who doesn't belongs to the culture, because you don't want strangers to associate you with your very own culture and you don't want them to see you as who you are. Stop trying to partner up with people for surface level connections. Stop chiming in with other people's music if they cannot chime in yours. Cause this isn't what you dreamt of. Stop living a lie, in hopes of fulfilling an empty surface level dream, stop chasing it just because everyone else is doing so,

Now your love life could be deteriorating due to you pushing aside your old cultural routines and habits replacing them with a new one. I got "chinese 4th year and chinese netizens or year of netizen streaks" some of you could be popular on social media. Chinese 4th year is year of rabbit 🐇 it could be of significance for someone here. Your success in your career and relationships depends more on going back to your roots and enlivening them for others to see of the beauty of your culture. I felt somebody really really embarrassed to show their culture, like they would rather flip the table to end the conversation than to show it to others. Your person or you could feel betrayal due to abandoning your own culture maybe through each other or your family. Anyway the harmony, stability and balance comes with accepting who you are and not trying to change yourself for others. Something related to the throne and prison are coming through but yeah this pile was def giving me a lot of royal vibes. The whole time I was channeling this pile, I was getting flashes of my old friend who was also from a royal family. This can't be a coincidence. I feel like whoever you are, you are being asked to move on from this copy cat energy and try finding ways to enliven and introduce your culture to other people rather than succumbing to theirs. It also gave me a vision of an immigrant family who decides to change their entire food habits and small things they liked to do back home to get along with others, only to find out the things they bonded over was their little traditional cultural values and habits that they had once abandoned, hence souring their beautiful relationship. This low self esteem could also be due to feeling desperately unabundant or financially unstable despite having everything rooted in their culture. Maybe going back to your roots will not only make both of you feel abundant again but in turn help you manifest more of it in return. Use or eat more food items of colour red in your diet or do exercises to activate your root chakra.

Hope you liked this reading Pile 2 bye

Pile 3

1. Confirmations :-

Investigative journalism, detective and horror genres, 1, 4, 6, June,July, January, April, someone's name could be April or start with letter "J", Producer-Director, Public Display of Affection, Pedaling bicycles, P,D,E,L,G, Pedagogy, kpop group G-Idle, your person's name could start with letter E like Eunchae or something

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

I cannot even start explaining how my cards were exploring each other and were trying to explain the entire depth of the situation. By the way some of you could be here to see how deep your relationship with your future soulmate or spouse is going to be, which is alright, no shade being thrown here, but this is meant to be an introspective read which is here to explore your love life and it might not directly be about them and also that this read might feel like a prediction for your future relationship.

Aight now I see both you exploring each other in various ways in bed, seeing how good you teo can be, some of you could be dancers or might love doing tiktok, yt shorts or reel challenges as a couple. 555, this relationship can be highly transformational for the both of you and 666 gives me a vibe of slightly karmic or heavy smexually addicted to each other kinda energy. Though both of you seemed to give off that goth vibe. I am also getting someone doing "Inshallah" like now I am getting a Goth Vibe Muslim girly. 🎵Pose for me - jack remix🎵 coming through. Unlike what many people believe or what you both could have got them believing, this relationship is far from abusive or anything like that, its sweet, wholesome, both of you will be the it couple and everyone would want to have what you two have, people will get inspired by your relationship and they will admire your relationship far and wide. Iam also seeing you two being in a long term relationship committed to each other and doing the efforts and hard work on taking this relationship to the next step.

As I can see this completely different from your previous relationship, your prev relationship could have been @bu$ive and I am so sorry if you went through that. For some of you this old relationship could have been an arranged or contractual agreement or work related relationship. Iam getting 🎵Build A Bitch by Bella Paorch 🎵 and 🎵 Cinderella 's Dead by Emeline🎵 like someone here could have gone through body shaming and breast surgery just to appease their previous partner. Like this old relationship was "tormenting, tumultuous" and maybe sometimes the abuse would leave you "panting for breathe 🫁" like "your lungs would swell" either someone was abused to the point of suffocation or state of asphyxiation through physical or repetitive addiction to substance abuse. Someone here could be a single mom who decided to move out along with her child, like this person could have created some bad situation "like for some of you, you could have been rushed to hospital when this situation happened and then got drove out of the house or left you alone to pay the bills". Like there are some so and so stories of something like this happening right or something for someone that has already happened. If you are in some physically abusive relationship please leave it right away. For those who have moved on....

You might feel so traumatized from your previous one that your new person might feel like a distraction to you at the start only for him to turn into the male lead. This person will direct and straightforward in their ways. Unlike your previous relationship this person might even urge you to eat more. Aww healthy masculinity, girl the way you are going to become a girl boss under his presence. Like damn "all the girls are girling girling"

Like you have daughters or a lot of girlfriends they are all cheering the two of you.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

By learning how to stand up for yourself when your relationships go sour, learning how to be courageous enough to confront the truth and see it for what it is, rather than pondering upon the time, money, love and energy you had invested into your relationships and see it for what is and see where you and your partner stands in this relationship. You need to understand how to let go of your love for your partners and courageously see the truth of your relationships for what they are. Learn to unsee the roles of third parties, whether it be work or someone who might think are the cause of the end of your relationship when they are nothing more than secondary factors who played a part in the end of the relationship. The main cause always being the weak and shaky foundations of the initial relationships.

Yeah another thing is to stop finding depth in your relationships through images, old photographs or remembering the past or revisiting the memories or anything of that sort or nature, you are not responsible for someone's loveless behaviour towards you.

🎵Think of you when I'm goin' to bed

When I wake up, think of you again

You are my homie, lover and friend

Exactly why🎵

I'm also getting that "you should stop pandering over his whims". Some of you could be "photobooth girlies". You could have an air of wisdom around you, there's are very genuine aura about, you might be the type to pander over "someone's boyfriend" I'm also getting "Sloan in the office". It might resonate with you.

Anyway your pandering over your partners could skyrocket to an extent that I guess in your case, you might end up unseeing a lot of their wrongs. I also see that the depth in your relationships can be found by you developing an identity of your own rather than being all about your partner and their life. Find something you are passionate about, and try turning your hobbies into something materialistic, meaningful and worthwhile memory that can stand a lifetime with you. Create some substance and depth in your own identity and character. Chase after your dreams and what you like, chase your financial goals and preserve through financial debts and loans to get over the sadness of the shaky foundations of a relationship or a breakup to not think too much about it.

You will get and make justice for all the sorrows that you could have been through. I'm also getting a storyline of someone "accusing someone of money extortions while reaping benefits of their hard work " asked to persevere and pay the financial debts that someone else had created despite the challenges as this phase has come in your to prove yourself of your worth so that you don't sell yourself short just because you see worth in other people's eyes.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about this relationship?

You may have a tendency to show off your happiness or talk a lot about good things happening in your life to the internet to not focus on the anger or unsuccessful attempts at reviving a relationship from hell. (Like Gurl what are you doing 😱, what is not meant for you will never be there for you for a good reason) Like why are you trying to call back this goon right here, like I get the hots you had and might still kinda have for him even if you don't want to admit it but dude what are you doing??? Everyone's confused, your friends, your family, your Spotify playlist and your kdrama and Netflix algorithm are all confused at the same time. Why are you angry about him going away? You know you can still feel those cookie pleasures with other guys, damn you don't need him, what the heck girl? Spirit is saying "stop showing up your price" gurl remember the price of your happiness might be cheap for somebody else, so stop showing off how happy you are and how good you are doing to everyone. Its showing like they know you are sad about something. I'm getting "Mittens it ain't nothing to be that sad about anyway, they are a bunch of losers anyways" "like dude don't count down your blessings, stop cucking it for everyone to see, they are your gifts, not something to show but things to be proud of. If you are proud of it and feels like an expression of yourself then yeah post it, but stop highlighting it and showing it off. OMG girl, its giving insecure like professional insecure" idk why I gave y'all a nickname and then that sass talk, but some of your sassy girlfriends are like, they are also cheering you on "yess girly move on" "row row row your boat, row it away from him"

I think first things you are seeing everything as a price not precious memories and experiences cause maybe you are so immersed in your previous experiences that you don't see the value in your current relationship or current state of affairs despite knowing the fact that you are an Empress, you can have whoever you want whenever you want in your life. You could not want to see those blessings as blessings cause maybe they feel like a loan that will become a debt, so now instead of focusing on working to pay that you have officially decided to halt and not accept the blessings that are being given to you. But remember not everybody gets a loan, you have to be eligible to get one, so know that life is giving it to you because it knows you can pay it back.

So stop treating beautiful relationships and connections that come to you like a blessing as a loan and know that you are getting the privilege to experience it because you have the potential to pay it back and work for it. 💝

OMG damn girl!

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I almost said "how is your physiology affecting your biology" you guys could be gym trainers or health advocates, dieticians or athletes . I am getting the word "condemning". "Part of it is misconstrued " seems like part of the reason why your partners might feel you lack depth could be their own misunderstandings about your image.

Regardless that's on them, people who know each other closely know that it all starts with communication. Assumptions in a relationship doesn't last long. Idk why pile 3 but I do feel like there can be some communication issue on your part as well, afterall if you are someone who gets misjudged a lot, why doesn't your partner communicate their doubts with you, so you can clarify them. You may have a past of letting in shallow people into your life without even getting to know them on a deep enough level to start a relationship. This gives "misconstrued ideas led to Frieda being the golden poster boy, even though she's a girl"

What I'm seeing with my cards here. All of it just seems like a lot. Pile 3, do you even realise the weight of taking your parent's behaviour or tradition or legacy or do you just take whatever is being given onto you. I wouldn't lie, someone's parent or specifically grandparent's here seems more like the character Shakuni from the Indian mythology Mahabharata. For context this character was considered as one of the most cunning cruel and clever human beings of his time, whose intellect and smartness rivaled to that of Gods, but this man had a problem ,he used his cleverness and smartness to push Duryodhana and all his 99 brothers against the kind and well meaning 5 brothers of the Pandava clan. He was also responsible for spreading his venom in the King's ears leading to a great war later on. I feel like some of your difficulties start from this type of father/grandfather archetype who spews nonsensical venom in your ears, and you listen to it without using any of your own judgement or discernment of your own. I'm getting the word "hostel". R.K. Narayan's Malgudi Days could be significant for someone here. There's a story related to it, Father's help, where we see that Swami is more scared of provoking his dad than telling him the truth. I don't know I think you are either scared to question the forceful authority in your household/friend group/community than follow the truth and wisdom your heart speaks to you. My Tumblr banner is "Let your heart be your compass". Trust your heart, let it row your boat, without judgement. Your heart knows, I don't why I am getting this unforgiving treacherous eye on someone. You guys could be quite unforgiving towards people due to a slight mistake people could do in your tradition or culture. This is so sad pile 3. Not everyone knows everything about you or your traditions.

I also see you not taking a stand against this injustice when your parents or elders in your family cuss at your partner. This is so disappointing. Iam also seeing the lack of depth could be due to your parents treating you like some object whose love life needs to be decided by them. I also see you blindly following some sort of standard like caste, bloodline, religion or a certain job that your parents wanted you to do, and the partner they think you should have. This either seems like a barbie doll game to them where everything from A-Z needs to be perfect or you seriously are allowing this kind of mindset, generational pattern or parents to genuinely take over the autonomy of your relationships, for them to decide your life.

The key here is to actually feel what you actually feel about a person, or things related to your partner rather than pushing your feelings aside, letting your parents handle it, or not seeing how much it hurts both you and your partner to be in a position of being dictated by your parents. The more you push your emotions and judgment aside, the more you will push a huge amount of suppressed emotions waiting to break you, your character or your partner down one day.

6. What else can you do to navigate your love life smoothly?

I honestly feel like coming to balance with yourself and your partner is the first step to start. I see you being someone who takes the initiative every single time, thereby stressing yourself and eventually putting so much of your energy, time, and attention on the people you love without expecting the same in return. This constant need to " win over a person" needs to stop. You are not broken or defective for you to be the only person to fix everything in a relationship. Both of you can see how broken the relationship is, if your partner isn't willing to try, stop trying to make it work in order to keep the relationship. What's the point? If they are already not putting in efforts, what's the point of keeping this relationship going? Its never going to work. Why do you have to be the person putting in all of the work? Why should it always be you who puts efforts into the relationship and not them.

In my cards you need to understand the difference between when and when not to put efforts into a relationship. Try understanding the energy of receiving in a relationship. You could be the type of person who gives a lot to their other half. Stop it, open your eyes and see, if this is even getting reciprocated or not. I'm not saying measure your love, I'm saying if you aren't getting reciprocated the same in return, why not communicating that with your partner and reaching a conclusion? Cause sometimes its our fault as well, we give so much love, gifts, flowers to our loved ones in hope they know we love them and then later on find them dissatisfied with us, cause maybe your partner just expected you to gift them all those only for wanting to touch their body, never realizing you wanted more depth. That's why communication is so important. Hence understand that our efforts may not be taken in the same way our partners might think. Hence become who not only nourishes but also gets nourished in their relationships.

Let your guard down and allow people to spend their money, time and energy on you. Allow new beginnings a relationship or for someone here allow people to gift you and bring new relationships towards you, let it all get balanced, you do not have to win over everyone. Partners may not understand your love language, stop giving away everything (like are you some $uicudal bit¢h or what? Why are you giving away everything? Calm down, learn the art of reciprocation and let them pamper you a little bit)

I'm getting this specific, someone's own suicide memories could have got triggered somewhere, so sorry about that. Idk if I should delete the joke or not. But please don't read the next paragraph thank you

(now please don't get offended on $uicide joke, this admin is a bit crack on dark humour, if I offended you I'm sorry for triggering something)

Stop trying to be this unforgettable lover and listen or heed the advice of lover once, stop trying to create an epic live story, just create a good one)

Omg Pile 3, so many hesitations, so many worries, things happening around in an untimely manner, someone here could have mars square Pluto, mars square some planet in scorpio in natal chart, mars square venus with their partner, or venus square in their natal chart. Stop trying to build the relationship without putting any emotional work or communication into it and focus more on connecting and receiving love.

Yup Pile 3. Take care and Be yourself in a relationship. Bubye, (idk why I wanted to call you my bubbas or something, maybe you guys work with children on a daily basis on something)

Pile 4

1. Confirmations :

Someone in this pile could be waiting for an answer for proposal, "have you decided yet", Important decisions, Wakanda, Earrings, UAE, T,compass, 🧭, WWE, letter T,W,K,W,U,E, number 3,6, 9,March,June, September, August, Sagittarius

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

"How deep is your mistake with each other?" What an interesting storyline, is this relationship relationship built on deep faith and trust with each other due to the things you mistook about one another. Its as if you both were able to forgive big mistakes made in this relationship and thus formed a healthy relationship later. Oh my gosh! What a love, my loves.....💖

Idk why I want to ask, what is this mistake you made about each other....

Its in the past, but one of you guys mistook the other to be a showoff of some sort, idk for freely giving out their money or wealth, some family member could have defamed the other as some shameless gold digger, 🤣 I see this family member being on the lookout, nothing more, though it must have been harsh for you. I am literally getting "the golden couple" for you guys. Omg! So you guys could be moving slowly building this relationship and investing into. Some of you could be pregnant, congratulations! May God Bless both of you a long life with your baby. 💖💖💖

I am getting "Diet Mountain Dew" by Lana Del Rey

I was shuffling the deck, and then there was this mysterious card that tried to fly out but mysteriously went back flying in as nothing happened. And this was the card of work, perseverance, patience, focus and mastering the masterpiece, 8 of pentacles or so I thought but the way it hid itself only to reveal 3 of pentacles to me, despite my intuition shouting 8 of pentacles tells me a lot of things, your hard work in a collaborative effort remains hidden. You could be some sorta hidden in helping your person, family or business build their fortune. Its actually a collaborative effort, but my oh my, does your person know this? Wow so you love helping people without telling them a thing huh? OMG your love is lucky, i heard "pretty annoying", guess they don't like you interfering with their workspace, oh my gosh! And you, our Quite Quintessence are helping them behind the scenes. Your giggles could be infectious pile 4, trust me, this relationship is deeper than the formation of this land!!! OMG this seems like a past past way way past life couple. Oh my gosh, what are you guys doing here on Earth? I mean Thank You for inviting us in this space, thank you for allowing me and my spirit guides to write about your beautiful friendship/relationship. Thank you for healing this space with your sacred energy, sacred bond and following your heart's will. We are grateful to have you here, through this stormy Planet Earth. This is definitely a connection which goes way back, with starseed energy, circulating its love through the Cosmos.

I think this is a soul bond and only time will tell where it will lead the both of you together in this journey. Iam not the one who can tell you that. If this connection 's reconciliation is what's haunting you, know you have been friends before lovers, so this will go way back. You both are here for each other always as supporters and cheerleaders for each other's soul. Don't let human parameters make you fixate on this relationship 's terms and conditions. This seems like a soul connection that could have gone cold for some of you

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

I feel like someone's asking me "How can you find the soul connection?"

First of all, I didn't even apply oil to my hands. Iam already channeling "Oily hands" ok what? "Steak" 🥩, "stake", don't tell me you two fight over leftovers 🤦🏻‍♀️ . I think someone here wants to know how to find that soul connection. Maybe you are being confused by your own mind right now. It seems this is a higher dimensional connection, where the energies are forming current. I feel like you should remain, rest assured that they are watching over you, whether dead or alive in their soul form, they are not trying to find you though, they could be pretty much invested in some other connection for some of you. So maybe we are looking into your future connection. Avoid trying to bypass their spirit guides and their ancestral protection, some of you could be bypassing that by the means of intuition, Iam almost getting that you are bypassing their safety, on a spiritual sense by doing activities like physical spying, which could be triggering spiritual warfare towards them or through them, just stop it, "do not overdue your time and luck on Earth" that's a call out for some of you there. You could be getting attacked in your sleep, dreams or subconscious recently, it's their ancestors attacking you. Do not bypass anyone's spiritual protection, their soul decided to be a part of their family to help alleviate the generational curses in their family line not yours. Everybody has a spiritual protection, do not by pass it by any means. It might ultimately affect your connection only. Don't judge their family legacy, don't get tempted by greed, idk don't try to force something like this. Let it happen. The dominant one in this relationship could be a female, anyway it feels like the dominant energy is pretty much looking for their lover everywhere in their grief and pain, while the other is gone, and are unable to let go of them. Be careful for what you wish for though, have some patience and let God clarify your path. They are no good for you, still you want them right now.

How can you find depth in your relationships? Or what can you do to find that depth in your relationships? Well, "sharp gaze" "knock it off" someone could feel real flustered with someone's deep eyes and sharp glaze. I feel like this has something to do with you learning to connect with your emotions, 🥺 letting all your emotions flow, rather than selective emotions such as rage and anger, you should also allow the flow of softer emotions like sadness, pain, fear, as you might be someone who doesn't allows themselves to channel those emotions, hence despite being in a relationship you sometimes end up carrying trinkets of emotional baggage from your past connections, without even realising it. The baggage from your past connections and your present connections weigh you heavily in your heart space. You might not realise this at the start but will find it hard to let go of the emotional comfort, depth, energy and attention someone could have given you. Without realising this you subconsciously look for the same in your next connections, without realising the impact of that connection, you don't realise how your heart actually craves for all those emotions that your ex /past connections gave you, and how badly you are craving the same in other connections to the point you aren't able to sleep peacefully with your new connections cause internally you haven't sorted out your feelings and aren't able to fulfill what others fulfilled within you on your own. Your heart is exposing these feelings, you know what they are, let yourself be vulnerable, explore yourself and find out. Find a quiet place like cave (without snakes ofc) or some mountain to meditate and find out what it is that you are suppressing within yourself.

The depth of your relationships relies on you finding who you are

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationship?

First of all I am getting a storyline here, maybe there's a lot of lies and gossip mongers in (idk why I wanted to say in you or inside you, maybe its just the voices in your head) and around your circle, lying to you about your relationship. Like try putting less emphasis on these friends or community or family members. Honestly test them, cause I feel like they are here with you, standing for you because of your money only and these people won't last long, once you stop helping them. I am also getting that there's a lot of gossip in these groups about your past relationships and ex connections. There's someone you aren't seeing yet, this gossip monger is investigating in your life and telling all this info to these circles. Once you stop putting so much emphasis or investing into these circles, the value of these rumours would fade away and this person will be left with emotionally manipulative ways and tactics with which they will try to repeat again and again just for the sake of getting popular or keep telling the same tale in hopes of someone noticing them. Nothing but a bunch of lies and hoaxes. Let them bring about the misery to themselves. Let them stay restless and let them keep crying your name till endless nights while you sit back and relax. Maybe you are investing way too much in these mid-ass friend circles to whom this person is also trying to enter by breaking the fourth wall through the info they have on you. And trust me all these friend circle and communities they seem really self serving, selfish, immature and childish energies. If they are being immature with you why care about investing your time, money, energy and affection in them, they don't seem mature enough to understand, you seem like the type to give a shot to these friends. Why just stop doing so and say goodbye 👋🏻.

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I am seeing a storyline here again. So pile 4 you guys could be some sort of writers, or people with imaginative and creative vocations or mostly storytelling, or writing pursuits.

Anyway I see that there's someone, (could be a person in their feminine energy, can a male too) who is unwilling to see the reality or dark side of the situation as the truth of the matter. They are clinging to this energy of a healer, or clinging on to this healing energy quite tightly, they could be a healer themselves, it seems like they have been clearing a lot of karmic debts recently. This person could be really good at understanding their losses and accepting the truth of the situation and even transmute their energy as a compassionate soul but seems like its hurting their ego as they progress to see truth, the ego of wanting everything to be exactly the way they want to preserve it, they could be losing sone sort of possesion property or literally a child, they aren't willing enough to see the changes, as watching the things they love go away drives them to insanity, to the point they could be locking themselves up in a bubble, seeing the reality for what it is but not accepting it. They are wrathful against whatever that reason because of which their relationship is being taken away from them, whether its because of their own behaviour, someone else's behaviour or external circumstances they have no control over. They are crying over it.

I think this is a cycle that continues, until they see their own reflection in the mirror and reflect to see where they have come in life. Thus upon seeing themselves in this desperate and miserable position, this person decides to make a decision, and they decide to cut the vows, the commitment they once made, the same commitment that was keeping them stuck for all this time and they take time to introspect, reflect and understand what had actually happened to them in this journey mid way. And come back to their center to finally find the very essence of the universe within themselves and try to reunite with spirit and awaken their spark through this universe's help once again, the spark that once that had once faded that was once thought to faded or dead, where the person who thought their way, purpose and passion was all over and gone, there this person starts their journey to find their truth, their beliefs through their prayers again.

I think this lack of depth in your relationships is making you weak, it makes you cling onto people almost co-dependent on them. Its your need to protect, to cling thats what's making you lose depth in your relationships. Believe it or not, you might be someone whose presence is really healing almost soothing and comforting to the point that people wouldn't want to leave this comfort zone, but its this need to cling, to protect the people you love from change, from transformation from the chaos itself where all you end up seeing and let's just say breeding (someone here has breeding kinks) is this past version of your partner's self, not wanting to see them grow, transform, become somebody else because you are so afraid of change yourself. You hate the truth, the reality, the reality that your partner, your exes, the people you loved could ever change, I am not saying you are someone bad or manipulative who wants to keep people in their comfort zone, you are so scared of losing them, and could have based your self worth on protecting or helping out your partners to an extent you might not even realize how you end torturing the people you nurture. Its literally giving me a mama snake eating her own eggs due to hunger. Its as if you saved these egglings or these people by healing them and protecting them only to end up depending on them for your energy. Do not do this anymore. You might think you have the power to give, give, give but one day whether you like it or not, life's karma works in a way where you will not even realise how much of an energy vampire you are turning into, by loving and giving so much of your energy and letting people go when they please after taking you for granted. If you don't unlearn this behaviour of clinging onto partners, you will not even realise how quickly it will take away your own energy from self. Stop making vows just to follow them, live those vows, be discerning of when those vows are broken, don't wait till your spark dies out.

I think its a friend group in this case, an immature circle who are constantly killing you and your spark and passion for life, and it seems you aren't willing to see their dark side. Omg pile 4.

I think your answer is right, cut-off from these fake-listed friends, find your peace, live your truth, why you tryna be with them, be like them, girl just leave stop getting angry on other people's behalf, stop taking their beliefs, you are not them, they are not you. Stop taking a stand for them and let them live their life. Let them go, make mistakes and do whatever they want to do. Let it go. Stop interfering in other people's lives and taking stand for them, you are committing spiritual bypassing, let people learn from their mistakes. Do not stand for them. Let them learn on their own two feet.

Just leave them, stop coddling a bunch of adults. Stop being so overly protective of others that you won't even let them grow.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Right off the bat, I see an inability to move on from lovers, family, friends, enemies and classmates, and it seems like there's a lot of external influences in your relationships. Like a lot of third party energy in here. I am getting the world in reverse, this could be chasing that half baked dream, having achieved nothing in life, so you run in circles. What I see here is you unable to confront yourself and your own fears of leaving behind your friends, family, co-workers and all sorts of people, and then feeling for every one, every little being, every creature , every little person. Just stop, stop ok. Do you even know all these properly, even if you know everything there's to know about these people, does that make you close to them, or does that make you knowledgeable. That's it, you haven't connected with them on a level where they'll reciprocate your feelings for them the same way you would. Suppose you got transmigrated to your fav manga, do you know these characters yes, maybe you do know the tea, but did you connect with them, did you feel for them, did they give you back the same in return. That's my question to you pile 4, you act like you sort of know or understand people based on your knowledge of human psychology or tarotology or astrology or biology or anatomy but that doesn't mean you have connected with them, formed a bond with them. These people cannot be obliged to fill your emptiness just because you know them, and they have known you. If they haven't connected to you the way you have, you don't need to reciprocate further than how much they reciprocate.

Maybe that's why you were asked to become more vulnerable to feel people and form bonds with them and connect with them rather than relying on your knowledge about them. That's not how it works. If you don't express your love, feelings, efforts you have put on people and aren't brave enough to let them go when they tell you to do so, how will you ever find someone who will someone who will reciprocate your love, your feelings and your efforts. Knowing somebody doesn't mean you have connected to them, making efforts to know them doesn't mean they owe you something. You should be smart enough to discern when to let go of a person who doesn't want to let go and is clinging to you, your energy, your time and your attention mercilessly at your own cost. Let people go, don't let them latch onto you or attach to you or your energy you don't deserve this.

Please understand that if you haven't built a proper foundation with someone, you cannot expect them to know you as well as you do nor reciprocate you in the same manner. Please stop staying stuck in a loop of depression, chaos, shouting against this injustice. Just speak up, express your feelings, draw your boundaries and leave them. Don't engage with them, hate on them, or exact revenge from them, its just restless. Take your big sis's advice.

And instead of looking at all the investment you made in your relationships and pondering over it all sadly and recollecting those past stories, and reliving those feelings and emotions, focus on yourself, your own self care routines, exercises, hobbies, passions and things you would love to do. Take the risk and do what excites you, pursue your dreams.

Pile 5

1. Confirmations :

Yung kai - blue, lose you love me -selena gomez, Baymax, Axe, Quantico the series, Gunshot,Blood Loss, Bongola Bongo Cha cha cha, "Hit the Intelligent button Todd that's right" I channeled this, J Cole fan, someone here in this pile could be in midst of feud, Obsessed - Mariah Carrey,YSL, MySQL,SQL server, number 9,6,3, September,March, June, August, May, letters: S,Q,L,X

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Immediately I am getting the word "abuse" (excuse me?). As I can see in your previous relationship whatever relationship this is /was. You made the right choice by walking away despite missing this person from time and time again. It must have been really hard to let go of your past lover ("someone who was berating you with comments you didn't deserve to be abused with"). The universe is thanking you for choosing to leave this( "stay at home dad") dead beat person alone. After they had trampled on your emotions. And thank you for realising you were hurting yourself,( "I needed to lose you to love me " ) by keeping this dead beat around. ("Lazy ass lying about" iam channeling, don't shoot the messenger)

Thank you for leaving this person behind. Idk why I am channeling for someone named Stacy or maybe somebody being yelled at for telling their dead beat stay at home husband to buy pads for them. Thank you for leaving this abuser.

Thank you for standing up for yourself and speaking up. You may be feeling miserable right now, but that's just because you were learning and got manipulated into aligning to this attention seeking, Gen-Z spirit (could be younger than you) that you have ended up (unfortunately) successfully manifesting this misery for yourself. Its okay look up, there's light out there, there's hope out there, go and achieve whatever you want. You may feel undeserving of it but learn to trust and believe in yourself despite all those long years of successfully possessing (you could be possessive of your partners) this person and realizing that it only ended up in you attracting more misery and chaos for yourself. You may still have that competitive spirit in you, so go for it, it isn't late to make those "wish upon stars" dreams come true.

Good job finding peace again. It must be a long battle of survival. You can rest here if you want 👇🏻

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

"By expecting princess treatment and by expecting yourself to be guided by others"

This is such a weird message but seems like you need to understand how to listen and obey a good advice diligently with discipline to achieve good results in life. It seems like you are the type who always needs someone telling you what to do, or someone addicted to enabling relationships, enabling dynamics and some enabling tarot readers to tell you how to live life and experience it. I am someone who is personally against telling people how to live their lives. So if you are an impressionable mind or a minor, do not interact. This reading isn't for you. Please leave.

Anyways, following up the Sabrina Carpenter song, please please please, the depth you need to look for in relationships by observing the amount of times you needed to pretend to somebody else to save face for the sake of your family. How you had to sacrifice your finances to support this family member and to show the outsiders that your family has the money, the time you had to force your smile in public to act like you are in a happy relationship and everything's alright. The time you had to play hide seek with everyone around you including your partner despite living the worst "nightmare come true". Watching your entire family celebrate while your mental, emotional and spiritual health was breaking down.

You know how to find depth in situations like these, becoming so accustomed to truth that all you see is truth in life and see things for what they actually are. That's what you need, not a last minute fix, you need to align with the truth, live in truth and see truth for what it is rather than sulking into depression all the time your feelings get hurt. Stop being so attached to the feelings of the past to the extent and point that you keep deluding yourself with the feelings of attachments and keep pulling yourself down just because one or two people are pulling you down.

Educate yourself on gaslighting, toxic behaviour, and how to draw boundaries with people. There are free resources available to do that. You could have stayed in a toxic relationship for so long that now you go or sulk into depression every time someone says something that triggers your trigger buttons and bam! you are sad. Stop doing that. Recognize your own patterns that you follow in relationships and don't get comfortable with abuse if that's what your past made you comfortable with, (be careful with the next partners that feel comfortable to you guys) . Fight against those trigger patterns with knowledge and never put yourself in this situation ever again where you end up sulking into a severe depression and become paralyzed with fear to even stand up for yourself.

Only true knowledge can help you to fight back without literally fighting or making anyone else know your vulnerabilities and trigger buttons. Please recognise the people who make you pretend/fake your entire self and life to the point of mental illness, and educate yourself with proper weapons to properly fight back.

You need to train your mind in such a way that it realises how people/partners around you are trying to trigger you and understand who to ignore and who to fight against. Educate yourself and your mind to quickly come forward to your rescue with what someone's implying and what their actual intentions are than to succumb to depression and letting these words break their spirit. Once you start recognizing abusive behaviour in people, and the difference between normal and abusive behaviour, only then can you look for depth in your relationships. You could be someone very accustomed to toxic behaviour almost considering that as a comfortable feeling within men.

4. What is it that you aren't seeing/doing about your relationships?

"Merciless cards" idk seems like to you, nothing's more scary than watching or listening to the truth. These cards are not being merciless to you. They deliver truth to you or whatever the law of karm and Universe needs you to understand at the moment. They work on the ancient wisdom of the Universe, so you are often being told what needs to be known to you. These cards are coming through for you as guidance, please take their messages if their messages resonate with you. Whether your brain knows it or not, your heart knows it too. You can or will feel this message resonating if this is your truth. If not, leave, stop taking unbridled appreciative statements as a form of validation. I'm not here to validate you.

You don't or want to see /value the efforts of your inner self's gentleness and kindness, (I'm getting inner giant self). You don't value the genuineness within you. It seems like the truth that could balance you and your life out and set you free from these compromising situations is hurting you. I don't know but all of a sudden, after I wrote, I am not here to validate you, I was being pushed to be nice or something. Iam getting that some of you could have been pushed too far into being nice, mediocre and nothing more a effing daruma doll 🪆, seems like even the layers inside you were traumatized into becoming a people pleaser. It seems like you were forced into being this frickin barbie doll, this is so sad, heartbreaking and this molding is something my energy hates a lot, I can see why I can become full swing annoyed with you if I met you in my personal life cause I am not someone like that, I never did fold myself for other's needs, either hid myself and became strong enough to express it or stayed hidden till I got/ made a place to vent it all out. This seems like a person who was made out to be this way, someone who was manufactured into something appeasing and breathtaking or jaw dropping in everyone's eyes only to have their own real self being compromised. This is so sad pile 5

"I see you, I understand your pain " maybe you have said these words way too many times to too many people ("problems" maybe they were problematic people who were continuously abusing you) without them ever seeing or understanding your pain. This could have happened too many times and again it's heartbreaking for you having to go through all that. Oftentimes if you don't have a proper defence mechanism or a proper sense of your sense of self, people end up thinking that their trauma mechanism is their sense of self which is not even true. Dear Pile 5 just because you weren't allowed to react towards the pain, sorrow or problems in your life the way you would normally react to since childhood, you could have turned out to be either A) overreactive towards every minor little inconvenience or B) extremely suppressed to even talk about problems

I am getting B) it is. You could have problems speaking up, saying your mind, speaking and living your truth for yourself. There could have been people around who manipulated you into succumbing to this shell, this limit and this potential from where you could only dream of the skies, and ask yourself who would you actually be if you were allowed to see things naturally without these shells or walls on you. You feel suppressed to talk about your problems cause you don't want to appear broke, problematic or messy on the outside. But the truth is simple, you are hurt, you are broken, you are messy, you can be problematic, everyone is. What's the problem in telling that out loud? Its relatable, understandable, and might not be what people might assume about you on the outside but what's the problem in breaking this shell open and letting people, some may call you weak, some might like to dismiss this part of you, why be sad at them? Why go depressed? Why make an effort to make them understand something? Girl why do we got to do all that?!! Be confident in your flaws baby girl, just let them see it. You are unique, you are different, that's much better than everyday manufactured you. C'mon now. Be confident in you. If someone criticizes your flaws and shuns you for being you, its their thingy, why give them so much power over yourself. Go and talk to the next person! Who knows, maybe they might turn out to be nice. Why miss your whole life on partners and people who want average ping pongs and not the unique you who is different and filled with flaws and scars of experience! And this is not to say the people they choose are npc or something, this is to say that all of them are as average and as beautifully smexy as you are but at varying degrees, then why waste so much of your time on chasing people who see nothing but flaws in you girl. Why let the pain of the truth cut you so deep, when it exists to set you free? Your flaws may not attract certain people but it might attract completely your kinda people towards you.

Oh God, what you aren't seeing or doing in relationships is letting your guard down, letting people see your flaws and instead of taking their judgement to your heart, becoming a judge of their character and communicating your problem to them and if they don't understand it and continue to disrespect it. Leave it girl/boy, why you sulking? When your insecurities are the very things making you unique. Stop it! You need help if you think you gotta change anything about yourself. Like c'mon girl/boy you okay?

Take charge of your own emotions, don't let others hurt it, understand that your insecurities ARE NOT A PROBLEM. Be genuinely happy and respectful towards who you are. Only then can you actually work in partnership

Absolutely feel the rain on your skin, no one else can do it for you, no one else, no one else. Feel the rain on your skin.

Feel life through your skin, see its colours through your eyes, go and experience love the way you would like to, not through these inhibitions, doors, or walls someone or this society has offset on you. Instead of taking up other's words and judgement listen to your heart, is this what you want. Become an emotionally balanced person no matter what thick and thin comes your way in relationships. The only person you don't see when it comes to relationships is YOU baby girl YOU 💋😘.

Don't try to make it work at places where you get constant heartbreaks. Disrespect doesn't equate to explanation. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. And yeah there could have been a third party situation in your relationship. Why focus on a person who keeps prioritising third party over you, not for you.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Okay Pile 5, I'm noticing this from the start that your cards have been pretty straightforward and the messages are crisp. I see that you may be someone who loves to thrive on illusionary happiness if not real one rather than see the truth for what it is. You remind me of a friend I had , she was someone who relied on the illusion of happiness that her abusive husband might change one day, despite all the pain she went through. When the party's over by Billie Eilish might resonate. Its as if you would rather fight with your partner in a relationship and get hurt than leave. You find it hard to detach from people who hurt you. Maybe because you are in constant effort to make them like you or understand them.

I don't know why I am getting a father wound here or daddy issues. Its as if there's someone who's unable to forgive themselves for defying or standing against their authority figures or a father figure,( I'm also getting a father figure employee) The depth that you could lack could be, not being able to see yourself for who you are/were naturally (in terms of stamina, strength, power or regality something), and burning out your own energy for others, this isn't fair pile 5.

I feel like there's a warning here, idk there's a warning here of some sort, you are being asked trust the unseen, and let them lead your way towards your soulmate. Some of you could have a Divine Love contract, the purpose of this is to love, understand and grow in life. There's something about letting God do the thinking instead of you controlling all the masts. I see they are not sending this divine connection on your way for a reason. There's something about losing yourself, burning out completely due to suffering, fighting and struggling so much with the Divine himself for control.

Let it rain, let life happen, you are here to experience it not control it.

I'm legit feeling Lana Del Rey's sweet voice soothingly singing "I'm on the run with you my sweet love, There's nothing wrong contemplating God, under the chemtrails over the country club"

I'm getting that someone here hates God or doesn't wants to believe in him, especially His silence. Its as if they are do not like the silence behind their divine lover or their future spouse or their next future lover messages. You might be real eager to know who this person is, without even working on yourself. Or maybe you are here with this expectation, BYE BYE

Anyways your lack of depth in your energy could be due to you staying stuck in your comfort zone. I am getting "travel" , it feels like you are being asked to release this need to control, self sabotage, seek validation and find answers but instead sit and meditate in His energy and come back home in yourself rather than finding it through external means. "Keep your workspace or home clean". "Homestuck Ballet" you can't practice ballet in home or a small room, try getting out for some fresh air, now now be a little like Quasimoto and Merida, if there are strict restrictions on going out, then break those rules a little and have your well deserved break among nature . Maintain your Work - life balance. Keep a maid if you want.

Homestuck Ballerina could be significant for you.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Idk why but I am getting Princess Mononoke, (Ghibli studios) where the lady workers are telling me, "chalo bhatti chale" which means common let's get to the furnace. And there are two cards that popped out of the archetype deck. Spirit is telling me They aren't extra. But a part of your lesson or insight maybe that you will take with you today. Idk something about this connection is deeply connected to Divine's plan on a collective consciousness maybe. I am seeing someone drowning their better judgement or logical discernment, due to their emotional weakness or emotional state. Iam getting heavy Pisces and Cancer energy. But I see someone drowning in their emotions letting their mental logic drown despite being right. It feels like a subconscious or unconscious energy that is emotionally drowning your mental judgement.

This message is specifically for people who feel a twin flame like connection with a significant other, please understand that these soul contracts or soul connections are promises or vows your souls have made, these connections can only thrive when you can let go and allow fruit to ripe, that is when you allow the Divine to take their time and send you the green signal intuitively, only then do you move forward. Till then train your subconscious mind to stop drowning in emotions and forcing connection. Instead use the Sword to summon a storm that will seperate the water and the sky. Your actual goal in this lifetime could be learning how to discipline yourself and your desires rather than connecting with each other. The truth can be bitter. But your soul is here to learn. 💗

You are being asked to become an active learner in life, grow achieve adapt celebrate and expand your growth and keep aiming for higher goals to feel go and reach towards the Divine Light.

Definitely guard your heart for now, focus on healing yourself and when your heart settles down go for love again. "I think about you all the time 24x7 365 " 365 by Katy Perry. You all could be going googly eyed in love or something. Maybe be careful of restless and lustful energies trying to use your emotional energy to balance their life, basically energy vamps, Also set some standards for the kind of partner you want to manifest.

Idk I think there's some reality check needed here, maybe you are hiding your love or infatuation for this person, they could have unconsciously become your reason for happiness, but deep down this person/ you could be hurt,(for some its just you, for some its them too) I'm hearing Pasoori, oh my god, you both are painstakingly missing each other. This hurts, given how emotional Pasoori's lyrics are. It feels like both of you are stuck in this "Debbie Downer" mode. This could due to feeling embarrassed to admit your feelings to each other as it might do more harm than good.

Now either this person's committed to someone else. Or they are forced into this situation due to strict parents. One of you had to let go. Though it does seem like you both are ready to fight tooth and nail over this, cause you two or maybe its just your energy are possessive lovers. But I think the message here is to cultivate the patience and discipline so that both of you or just you end up trapping the other in your effort to successfully salvage your ego by reviving this connection.

[abusivegymrat]

hii im alexis u can js call me lex xo, 22, female based between istanbul, paris and nyc 🌇💗

non-native english speaker and polyglot!

i write about cod, don’t think that’ll change for a looong while.

i submitted a request to open an ao3 account, but im on the waitlist rn </3

!!my work is female reader only, ocs may depend

about me!!

masterlist!!

started writing on: april 3rd, 2025. first work: pollyana

im taking a break to focus on practicing writing better <3 works will take longer time from now on. i came to the realization that i should take this more seriously.

⚠️know before you engage(please read until the end);

if you’re a minor, the content you consume is entirely under your responsibility and please let me know before you interact with me, if possible, don’t. i want to bring attention to how this is for my sake too, i don’t think i’d feel comfortable direct messaging a minor.

please don’t engage with the content specifically tagged to be not for minors or people with certain sensitivities if you’re a minor/have those sensitivities

i don’t consent my work being fed to ai, if you use/support the usage of ai, i kindly ask you to just read and leave or lmk so i i can block you

please be respectful to not just me but everyone around here whether you’re in my asks, dms or comment sections; any type of disrespect towards anyone will not be tolerated. And if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable in my profile, please let me know!

don’t like, don’t read. I only take kind and constructive WRITING advice.

i don’t write what i don’t like/feel comfortable writing. extremely graphic no consent/rape where both sides aren’t enjoying it is a prime example(in smut, i might it for angsty reasons). i don’t feel comfortable with piss (squirting excluded), scat, rape, pedophilia etc. this is all i can think of for now. i also find the hybrid shit weird, i don’t think i’d ever write it and i avoid reading it.

i prefer to keep politics out of my page since im only familiar with it through books so some part of it, though i will definitely raise my voice if there are people out there needing help! just reach out babe😛

my tags!

lexyaps (for yapping)

lexwrites (for my writing)

lexispostingomg (for everything else), rarely used

lex'swritingjournal (i save writing tips that might be helpful, it's like a public archive)

lex's archive of fav works (fics i like)

please please please send asks, message me! I love interacting w ppl!!

[jcollinswrites]

JC!!!!!!!

I loved the update ommmg. I love how different the route is. Your variations are beautiful. From MCs sister to choosing if we were married before. I adored it.

I died of embarrassment at spilling the wine because bruhhhhh. I also just loved the description of MC telling them everything wrong with the security in the palace. It made me alil smug for my MC 😍

I hate the stupid creepy priest! Death to his dumbass 💀😭

I have a question tho. So seeing as we can choose our sexuality. How are same sex couples viewed in the kingdom? Should i expect some bullshit from people? And also how would that apply to the King especially. It's a two part question.

1. Could they marry someone of the same gender? Especially when it comes to shit like carrying on bloodlines being so important to nobles 😒 or would he have to take on a concubine 🙄 imagine your husband going to go sleep with some random chick while you wait for him to come back. Kill me please 😭😭😭

But i know that's how some things just are.

2. How would they react to an MC on the thief background especially romancing the king. Bet the nobles would loooooovvveeeeee that!

Okay I'm so sorry for this longass message 🫣🫣🫣

Oh you read it! ^^ I was awaiting your comment with bated breath O.O (lol jk..... or am I? o.o)

I put some variations in the code that are unique to every origin :D For example the noble has the widower variable, the thief has the option to have higher dreams in life, the captain will be able to decide if they are a war veteran, and I haven't decided the priest yet (:

Now I'm gonna go on a huge ramble about the marriage/sexuality, so I'll put it under a wrap 😅 You don't have to read it unless you are interested lol cuz it's gonna be looong... (consider yourself warned)

Okay, so according to my knowledge, in Ancient Egypt, married life and sexuality in general was a bit of a taboo in public. You could do whatever you wanted, at home, in private. We have a lot of documents from that time that describe that couples were actually very affectionate towards each other and had a healthy sex life, but they didn't really make it a big deal in public. (unless you were gossiping with your bff maybe)

Marriage wasn't a very official thing either, like it is now. They didn't really have weddings. When the bride moved in with the groom, they signed a contract, and bang, they were considered married. Anyone could get a divorce too. The most popular reason was infertility or cheating, but women could initiate divorce as well based on whatever reason.

Now, a lot of historians in the past (and even today) would look at an ancient document describing f.ex. "two women living together with a child and a cat", and they would go 'aww they must have been such good friends'. Like...... you know....? Friends. Riiiight...

On that note, no, people in the story won't give you crap about it because it always happened, in every age, we just nowadays tend to make it into this huge deal, as if everything other than heterosexuality has just been invented yesterday. A lot of ancient societies were so much more accepting than we are today. (just think of the Greek or Romans)

The carrying on the bloodline thing is an interesting question. There is a funny debate between historians about Ramesses II's children. Because according to original sources, he had around a hundred. They all had the title 'prince' or 'princess', and others like 'Beloved Son of the King', 'Beloved Daughter' and stuff like that. Most historians think that proves that they were all biological children. Others say he might have just adopted a lot of kids and gave them the title. We can't know for certain which one is true. It could be a mix.

In my not-expert opinion, if Egyptians accepted divorce and stuff, they probably accepted full-on adoption as well. Even as an 'official' way to continue a bloodline. Nobles could have one official wife, plus keep concubines if they wished (IF they wished, they didn't necessarily do it), then the couple had the option to 'adopt' any kid from a concubine and raise them as their own. We also know for certain that an heir didn't have to be even related to the king to inherit the throne. This didn't happen often, but it happened. (Ramesses I was just a friend of the previous king f.ex.)

This problem won't come up with Narmer though because he already has an adult child. And the noble MC is a thirdborn, their older siblings all have children, so the bloodline is already secured. Captain MC has two mothers, living together, like "very good friends" *wink wink*. Priest MC is an orphan.

For your second question, most of the story is going to take place on the road, sort of like a quest thing, and by the time MC & Co. come back to Thebes, MC won't be a 'nobody' anymore. I planned lots of different endings based on your previous choices, but rest assured, even if you play a thief origin, you can have a happy ending with Narmer. If you play a woman, he could even make you Queen Consort. For a guy or non-binary MC, he'll give you some bullshit title named 'Beloved Companion' or something and be done with it.

Sorry for the awfully long answer lol this is a subject I'm passionate about 😅 Thanks for reading and please continue to send messages! ^^

[baronessblixen]

different person here- I debated back and forth about sending this for a ridiculous time but i settled on sending it anon bc we're moots but i am terrible at keeping up with reviewing, especially when i'm going through The Horrors™ and also I am not great at wording the feelings-y things when it's personal, lol

it's okay to need a break to re-center. I haven't written nearly as much fic but I go in cycles where I'm so happy writing and I'm convinced I don't suck at it, and then I hit the crash and am convinced I need to just stop writing forever. brains are terribly annoying things and prone to saying silly things that we can't help but believe, it's a wholeass thing unfortunately 😩

but please don't think your writing isn't good enough, I cannot tell you how many times I've systematically read through your TXF fics when i was going through serious shit and just needed something comforting where everything works out in the end. your fics always feel like a hug. don't underestimate yourself, I'm just one person but i can definitely say that your words have helped me through some of the worst times of my life. I literally sat in the hospital next to my grandmother after her stroke reading your fics on my tablet in the middle of the night and it helped more than I think I'll ever be able to say.

((please don't feel like you have to reply publicly, I know this is a looong ask lol, I just wanted you to know. sending many hugs!))

Thank you so much for your sweet message! Please don't ever feel bad about reviewing. We all have lives and things are crazy and chaotic and even if they weren't, no one should feel required to comment or even read a fic.

Whatever I'm going through (and I feel like it's getting worse instead of better) is not even just about writing. It's everything. It's ridiculous things like being convinced I can't park and not even trying. Brains are so damn dumb. I keep reminding myself of that, but it's not getting through at the moment.

It makes me ao happy to know people love my fics. I'm so sorry about your grandmother, though 💜 I've always been very lucky with people reading and liking my things. It's just me. I don't believe I can do it. It's a deeper issue that I know I should tackle somehow. If only I knew how.

Thank you again for reaching out. I really appreciate it.

[chilling-seavey]

Hi Emily, first time messaging you here but I’ve been a fan of your work for so long now!

First of all, I just want to say thank you for all the amazing George fics you are writing.

You made me fall in love with Au stories. Previously I wasn’t fan reading au stories with George but since I read the love thy neighbour I’ve been obsessed with them. I love how unique your stories are but also the way you describe and adapt George in every one of them is just extraordinary. 

And you made me so happy that you decided to continue the confessional universe as it’s one of my fave au stories of yours. (Love reading about bad boy George 🤭)

I wanted to share what I have in mind on how the story continues with these two (btw love reading yours and other people’s thoughts on these stories).

A bit nervous to share it but here’s how I have it in my mind.

At first I had the same thought as another anon here that they get caught and they are being forced to get married but then I thought that I’d like to see their relationship having a little adventure first before or if they ever get together.

So George’s parents force him (maybe they caught him smoking or something) to get engaged with another woman that she’s very involved with the church etc. The reader is sad and lost for a while but after some time she finds a boyfriend and they go to church together. And George starts getting jealous seeing her with another man. We know George is a dick but maybe after seeing the reader with another man he starts realising that he has feelings for her? 

And then one day after church when it’s pancake breakfast George is preparing everything downstairs and reader went to  help him and they are getting into an argument that of course will lead to sex and maybe George’s fiancé will caught them and the engagement will be obviously off and aaaafter that maybe it’s then when George and reader will get married etc.-

Either way I’m so excited to read whatever you write for this but also for all your upcoming fics. You are amazing and so talented 🥰 

That’s it for now. Sorry for my looong message and for my bad writing 🙈

———-

PS: Can i be the 🍩 Anon? 

Anonnnn 🥺🥺🥺 you made my whole week with this and we might be best friends now fyi

Thank you so much for your sweet words!! I'm glad I wrangled you into the world of AUs...where creativity goes to flourish and our fave drivers go on fun lil adventures 😋

And thank you for being brave and sharing your thoughts and how you see the Confessional universe going!! As much as I encourage you all to send asks, I myself get very anxious sending them, so I greatly respect when I receive one...especially a lengthy one like this!

Your idea got me like 👀 fr. Between you and me (and those who choose to read this reply hehe), I already have another Confessional part written and in need of editing in my vault in which (spoilers) George and reader do get caught— But I do like your idea of a bit of an 'adventure' or a wrench in this linear idea before jumping into their 'forced' engagement.

Perhaps George does get engaged to someone else by the decision of his parents but not as punishment, more as a "you're old enough, here's a nice, godly, young woman who'd be perfect for you" and George is like 😐ok😐. But maybe he doesn't tell reader this so their 'agreement' can keep going until, one day, they get caught and that's when all hell (lol) breaks loose. Because if you're having sex out of wedlock, you gotta marry in order to repent!! Rip the other girl fr

+ Omg don't you dare apologize, silly. I appreciate you and your lengthy ask immensely <3

++ You can absolutely be 🍩!! I love that!!

[mrslittletall]

I am still slowly playing myself through the Elden Ring DLC and I find it kind of sad. I don't look forward to the boss fights. The boss fights are normally a highlight in the FromSoft games. Learning the dance with them, bash your head against a wall over and over again until you finally manage to dodge every attack and punish them until you get them down either near perfect or crying, bleeding throwing up with not a single healing item left and a sliver of HP. I don't feel that in Elden Ring anymore. The bosses either feel like an unfair mess where you are only allowed to hit them once every three minutes or they feel far too easy because you summoned your Mimic Tear who can use your build 100 times better than you. And it makes me sad. There is no balance anymore. It is either too hard or too easy. And it pains me, because I love the level design! I have so much fun in the levels! Finding the way, beating the enemies on the way (minus Curse Blades! FUCK CURSE BLADES!), picking up new and exciting items, finding NPCs in obscure corners or solving puzzles. Screaming when I run into an obvious trap and reading the messages of the players warning me from corner enemies. And then I am through and have to fight the boss and know it is either a boring slog that makes me frustrated or is over in a couple tries because my spirit summon does the heavy lifting. And it makes me realize, that it also is the reserve of Dark Souls 3 DLC. I loved the bosses in Dark Souls 3 DLC! Hard but fun to fight and incredibly fair! While the levels felt too bloated with far too difficult enemies, so that I normally summon someone to get through this slog. And it makes me worried for the future of FromSoft. Why can't you do both?! Why can't you connect great level design with great bosses? You know, how the first Dark Souls was?! As clunky as it was, the first Dark Souls is still my favourite game of them for this exact reason. And yes, Bloodborne would be up there if not for the stupid blood vial farming. Anyway... I just hope that FromSoft takes a looong break from the formula and thinks how to make games difficult but fair again. Because that is not the way.

[accidentalcookies]

Hello! Call me Sage! I go by they/them pronouns, and am in my late 20s! I've been lurking for a good long while, and have been promising an intro post for a looong time (what do you mean 2023 was 2 years ago?!), so here it is!

You'll find this blog as a sort of a repository of reblogged whump tropes and prompts, as well as my writing! You can find all the tracked tags I have on this blog tagged to this post for ease of navigation 😊 This is also a sideblog, so you'll see any likes or follows coming from @digitalcactusblog instead of this blog!

I have a wide range of likes when it comes to whump, though I strongly prefer whumperless whump to having a whumper! I do dabble on occasion, though, especially in certain AUs for my OCs. And boy, do I have a lot of AUs.

As far as favourite whump tropes go, I love characters fainting/collapsing, the "hidden injury" trope, and so so much the "moment of awakening" trope—when a whumpee finally wakes up from unconsciousness and is super out of it. And, of course, more, but we can't be here all day 😂 I generally write/reblog a pretty wide variety of stuff!

My inbox is always open if you want to hit me with an ask/message! I'm always down to chat 😊

OC details and writing masterlist under the cut:

OC List:

Shaoyuan Nie (he/him): Introduction here!

Shaoquan Nie (any pronouns): Twin sibling to Shaoyuan, and the Abel to his Cain. A silvertongue smooth-talker with a careful eye for detail, and such a sharp insight into the thoughts of others that you'd think they're able to read minds (and in some AUs they do). They much prefer words over weapons, though one could say that words are their weapons, and they're a master of using them to devastating effect. They strongly believe that violence is unnecessary, and murder even more so.

Aristides de Silva (he/him): A mafia leader that inherited a dying empire from his father, who is determined to build it up to something worth inheriting. An enigmatic man whose mind seems to work in inscrutable ways, even to the ones who know him best. If life is a game of chess, then at any given moment, Aristides is thinking ten steps of the people around him. Catching him by surprise is a difficult task; he always seems to know more than he ought to. In most AUs, he's the father of three young children: his son, Demophon, and twin daughters, Delfina and Desideria.

Celestinus Cheng (he/him): A doctor who was born an outsider to the criminal underworld, but was pulled in after associations with Aristides. Since then, he's become Aristides' trusted right hand and advisor, as well as the de facto medical professional for members of his gang. Despite his constant air of exasperated frustration, his bark is far worse than his bite, and his heart is too big for his own good. No matter ally or enemy, he can't stand to watch and do nothing when someone is suffering or hurt.

Anne (she/her): An independent arcane researcher, and a member of the circle of "angels" that have descended to bestow magic upon the humans in Hell Is Another Word For Home. With her cheerfully heartless demeanour, however, one might be forgiven for thinking of her as a demon. Her first and only love is her research, to which her heart belongs—but, she has a special place in her heart for those who inspire her curiosity.

--------

Writing Masterpost (by AU):

Mafia AU: A cold-hearted assassin who killed his entire family. An ambitious mafia leader, looking to expand his enterprise. A civilian doctor, saddled with keeping these two chucklefucks alive.

When Aristides secretly buys out Shaoyuan's contract from the management agency that owns him, Celestinus isn't too convinced that this traitorous assassin, who has wiped out two whole "family businesses," can be trusted. Through time, effort, and the judicious application of precise headshots, he finds otherwise.

Whump Tropes: Living weapon whumpee, exasperated caretaker, hidden/downplayed injury, [more to be added].

Characters: Shaoyuan, Celestinus, Aristides.

Relationships: Shaoyuan/Celestinus/Aristides

Intro: Aristides and Shaoyuan

Warming To Your Resident Murderer: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, tbc

Whumperless Whump Event 2024: Day 1, Day 11

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Hell Is Another Word For Home: After Shaoyuan is caught for helping his siblings escape a sisyphean hell that turns children into human weapons, all attempts to execute him for this crime are stymied by the discovery that he is a Saint—a human weapon that has attained the pinnacle of magical mastery and become immortal as a result. So what do you do with a criminal you can't kill? Why, you use him as the subject for experiments that would kill a normal man, of course.

Whump Tropes: Immortal whumpee, lab experiment whumpee, warm caretaker, unethical scientist whumper, magical overexertion, lab experiment whump, sickfic, living weapon.

Characters: Shaoyuan, Anne, [more to come!].

Whumpuary 2025: Day 1

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Borderlands AU: Introduction here!

Whump Tropes: Chronic illness, team setting, [more to be added].

Characters: Shaoyuan, Katerina, Felix, Raz.

---

More to be added over time :3

[etherealsworldvision]

General Message

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about: Restore the Delta. They’re a non-profit organization whose mission is to ensure the health of San Francisco Bay-Delta estuary and Delta Communities. Click here if you’d like to donate.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 I DO NOT GIVE PERSONAL READINGS

Credits: Photography by Jack W. Dykinga; Layout by Triso Gamboa

Note: The reason I used Triso’s layout is a trial run to see the type of engagement this will get. For sure I will (and would love to) create my own template.

[ Messages: ‘I feel no shame, I’m in love, sweet love don’t you ever go away it’ll always be this way.’ - Sweet Love by Anita Bake; ‘Fear is found in bravery. Without it then we will always remain sheltered — take that step.’; ‘If soulmates do exist they are not found, they are made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they work on building a relationship.’; Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.’; May you Pursue what lights you up; May it be effortless; May you know you are worthy of a gift; May you extend your reach.]

[ Additional Messages: Yellow of the Sun - Nao; 444; 1010; completion; pirate ships; crews; cruise; The Good Place.]

Cards: The World; 10 of Cups; Justice; 10 of Pentacles. King of Diamonds; 4 of Spades; Ace of Diamonds; Ace of Clubs. Joy; Ease; Receive; Stretch.

Wow you guys are coming into a new energy! I feel that this may be coming in by late spring to late summer, meaning June — September. Some of you may be my Leo’s because that season is popping up OR you may have a good time during Leo season. You may find stability within your finances and emotions or will be coming into it.

I’m getting that during the time you’re reading this you have been struggling for the past few months. Like you’re just stuck in a rut. You know that one song ‘nothings new’ by Rio Romeo — they kept singing nothing’s new…yeah. You might have even closed yourself off or couldn’t find the time to connect with people because of the situation.

Now I’m not saying “this is the end yiipieee!” It’s more of hey you’re gonna set sail again because the weather conditions are right. Because when you’re a sailor you know when you can set sail and when you have to navigate through the storms while clenching the wheel as tight as you can.

I’m also getting the radio host from the song ‘Hopscotch’by Tinashe. ‘Alright, we got another beautiful day here in sunny Los Angeles, California. Let’s take a look at our seven day forecast — we’re seeing lots of sunshine all week long — temperatures in the mid to upper 70s’. Yeah I typed that out cause it’s fun and it adds to the fun lol. I’ll even add it here lol.

Anyway before spring ends, you may get into a new hobby or fandom that just makes your world sparkle. For some reason that is the key indicator that you’ll get a break. Because of this new hobby/entertainment you’ll feel emotionally reconnected which makes you want to be motivated to explore yourself and everything around you.

As you start to explore and expand things start to escalate. It might become overwhelming so of course you need something to balance it out and that is where material/finances come in. It really could be finance or something that’s physical coming in fruition. Honestly for some of you — you may have been working on a looong project and you finally see the results.

The important thing to know is that this experience will find you instead of you looking for it. Like it really feels that this is going to randomly pop up (on your feed for some of you). Okay this is all I’m getting for you, I wish you all well :)!

[commanderbuffy]

19. This is looong because of the quotes.

Fav fanfic: Gotta give it up for HC. I love the concept and all the tension, yearning and the Kit whump. And even though your fics are angsty, this fic has caused me the most pain and outrage so far and Pia is just the cuuutest. It's also nice seeing Tanthamore as parents.

Scene: TTA. I couldn't even tell you how many times I've read this.

“It was just sex, Kit”

Fuck you, no, it wasn’t. There’s no such thing as just sex between best friends. And after Paris? The way her orgasm fed into Jade’s? Bodies moving as one? It was never just sex.

“You’ve got the emotional intelligence of a tadpole, Kit.”

Fuck you, no, I don’t. I know what it feels to have you ground me. I know what it feels to be hurt by my mom, hurt by the way she hurt you. I know what it feels like to feel safe in your vicinity. I know how it feels to be whole when I have you in my life. What joy is by your laughter?

“It’s not that deep”

Fuck you, I love you.

Cue me crying but also, I just really love how you wrote this scene. It's beautifully done and one of a kind.

Title: 650ft². Ic👏on👏ic👏.

Phrase/Interactions/Sentences: I dunno what to call the below but it's some of my favs.

Kit: Call me out on it all you want, but I want it. Let me have tomorrow. Give us a shot at being real and what we used to be. What we could have been. You, me, and Pia. 

Lovesick, vulnerable Kit laying it all out there and trying to show Jade "what could have been." Straight bullet to the heart.

And also...

Kit loops their ankles together out of view. Well, mostly out of view. When Scorpia drops a card and reaches down to pick it up, she catches sight of them.

“Cold ankles there, Kit?” She asks.

“Absolutely frigid,” Kit volleys back. She doesn’t move her leg. In fact, she moves her hand and places it on Jade’s bare thigh. 

Hehehe! I love snarky Kit!

Bonus round, most shocking scene: So SO many but the reigning champ has to be CANYON FREAKING MAZE! I will NEVER be the same after that. And I thank you 🫡

This is the KINDEST message. THANK YOU!! What’s funny is that every quote you referenced here I had SO much fun writing and they flowed so easily and I love them myself as well. You picked out some of MY favorites.

THANK YOU, YOU KIND ANON SOUL

[alyjojo]

Cancer Yearly Career & Finance Reading 🪖 2024

Preshuffle: The cards went straight to love, there’s an ex being shown coming back around for some. There was a lot of drama with this person, possible cheating, or talking to other people anyway, it’s possible you’re just stalking them since it’s been over with. Or they’re doing that to you. Especially if you have kids together. The message is that there has been no growth, don’t waste your time. Or the same cycle will repeat again. You could also be facing difficulties regarding children, mostly because of the other parent, or this is an issue with someone in your family.

Meditation: Gosh yours is the most relatable meditation I’ve ever seen, I rolled my eyes and laughed simultaneously. UGH. It was a long looong corridor to get to…your door? A door. Not sure if it was yours, it was just where you were going. You were like “this is going to take forever”, and that was true, but there was a skateboard 🛹 next to you so you could go faster. You didn’t know how to skateboard. You tried and failed several times. Back to walking. Getting impatient you’re like “I HATE THIS SHIT”, moaning and complaining, but you kept getting back on the skateboard. By the time we were close, you had a whole system, and had improved a lot since the beginning, it felt natural to you even. We get to the door. You open it, and it’s completely dark, turn a light bulb on just to see an empty utility closet with a sign on the wall that says “Congratulations! You learned how to skateboard!” Which you then picked up and chucked down the hall 😆

Main Energy: 4 Pentacles rev

There’s a lot of heavy ending energy, and the new beginning you see or will experience later in the year terrifies you. For many, this surrounds love, a toxic relationship or someone deceptive, going through the process of a split when all of your things are owned jointly. There’s an 8th House energy weighing over this heavily, I’m picking up on Cancer risings or someone with Aries/Libra nodes, Chiron, or difficult transits aspecting the 2nd/8th. A battle of independence that may not necessarily be wanted. Some Cancers are the instigators of deception, for crosswatchers. Either way, there are several endings over the course of the year, and will come to a natural conclusion by December - it’s finally over. This could be showing Pluto’s last return to Capricorn, wrapping up finally in November, and from there you’re free…unless you have those placements above. Difficult navigating this year, especially those with pain in the ass ex’s or mutually shared assets. 4 Pentacles rev shows a need to *release* all that you’ve held on to, which can refer to grudges and negative perceptions…around summer that’s true, but it’s also literal. Material possessions. People as possessions. Surrendering to a divine timeline (not your own) seems to be what’s at play this year for you, Timing is important, a lot of this isn’t free will, or it’s not within your control to fix, change, or do anything with. You just have to work with it and allow Spirit to do what they do when it’s time. Procrastination contradicts by saying “that doesn’t mean don’t do anything”, just do what you can. And then rest. Take care of yourself. Sometimes you can only handle day at a time, and that’s okay 💙

January: 9 Pentacles rev & Knight of Pentacles

Oracles: Versatility

Zodiac Signs: Virgo, Cancer, Gemini

Those of you ending deceptive relationships, this happened already, you’re not in the dark. Those in happy relationships can breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ Some of you are the ones playing games, flirting or messing around with other people, and it’s like you’re not happy about it - you just do it? You don’t like to be alone, or some of you are single and dating people you’re not even really into, it’s just better than hanging out by yourself. Or you’re in a loveless connection where there’s no spark, no passion or fun, but you don’t want to end it. Don’t want to fix it or end it - fixing it takes two, that might not be on you if they’ve ended it, or don’t even try.

Regardless of whether love is involved or not (some do, some don’t, both are here), many of you seem to be more of a jack of all trades rather than committed to one thing. The King/Queen of the side hustle, with none of them really bringing in enough to sustain your lifestyle comfortably, but all of them being necessary to make ends meet. At the bottom, you’re bitter, you’re dissatisfied, whatever it is you’re doing currently you hate, but need. Some of you are in full survival mode 😕 You don’t like your options, even when you do look for something better. You could feel defeated, or you’ve been where you are a long time and there’s a sense of loyalty to this thing even if you hate it. You know they’re not paying you enough, but you can’t see any better. Or you wouldn’t accept better even if it were on the table. Procrastination fits where it fits and here it’s fitting with your dissatisfaction, but not doing anything about it. At least try.

February: 7 Swords & The Lovers

Oracles: Exaltation rev

Zodiac Signs: Gemini, Taurus Moon rev

Again there’s a Lover being shown, could be a Gemini or you have that in your chart. Either you’re sneaking around with someone newish because you’re sad about something else that’s ended, possibly a marriage or long term partnership, or a deceptive person has really broken your heart and you’re fixated on the pain right now. Moon in Taurus shows stability, material comforts, financial abundance & growth, but rev those things are missing and you could be beating yourself up with overindulgence. Overeating, or not eating, staying up late, blowing your money on indulgences and not giving af about responsibilities or anything beyond right now in this moment. Destructive Yolo. Or someone else may have a new person and it’s eating you alive, causing sleepless nights, to the point of this affecting your health. You may notice spontaneous gray hairs that weren’t there in the morning (stress can do that). Among other things. Physical symptoms manifested from upset emotions, stress, heartbreak & anxiety. Someone may have slept with the boss. Or wants to, or the boss is a creep and you know they’ll want that if you ask for more money. Some of you could be in sex work, and it’s not even paying the bills for all the ick you have to deal with. Be careful of STD’s or any health concerns related to that, if you’re involved with more than one, get checked out regularly. I see it, I gotta say it. Separately, you may be worried about the health of your father/grandfather, helping care for him. You may try to take care of others at a time you can’t really even care for yourself - but for you it’s a form of self care, feeling needed. You need someone to show up for you like you do others. Medical issues may be a drain on finances, especially for those splitting up, now your (or dads) insulin is all on you and you can barely afford the basics, that’s the example I got.

March: 5 Swords & 10 Swords

Oracles: Loss

Zodiac Signs: Gemini & Pisces Sun/Saturn

Similar energy as before. Mourning something, and that could be literal, if so my heart goes out to you. That won’t be for everyone. Some of you are worrying yourselves sick over an illness, could be yours, a parent/grandparent, someone you love. This could also be an ending to a relationship, or your ex’s new person, thinking about it is driving you insane but you can’t do much else, can’t help it. If they’re not talking to you, you’re very upset. Even if you were the one playing around, it may be betrayal on your own hands and you still feel sick over it now that the reality of loss is sinking in. The ex could be cruel, underhanded, saying and doing things they know are going to cut you to the core, because they’re vengeful. Or that’s you. Someone is acting kinda crazy over a Tower that’s occurred, and rather than being hurt they’re pissed off & out for revenge 💯

If you’ve had some sort of work done, surgery or…I’m getting a possible malpractice situation here, like a loved one (or you) being mishandled by doctors somehow, bad side effects, problems created fixing other problems, that’s specific for someone, it’s causing you a lot of grief and worry - or this is a note telling you that’s the problem not you, you’d know if that’s you. A medical problem could be worse if it’s been there but not taken care of for too long. Some of you could greatly benefit from counseling, mental health is highlighted as well, but be careful with what they try to give you, don’t be someone’s guinea pig. It’s normal to feel however you feel, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone. If you’re getting divorced, you could be losing a lot of money on that, or that’s what you’re so stressed about, whether you have already or it’s pending, you’re afraid they’re gonna “take you for all you have”, especially if deception is involved somehow. Or that could be your plan, if this is switched. This could also describe a job loss (because of medical leave?) you never saw coming, could be you or an ex asking for help even though the two of you are not on the best terms. It may be medicine that’s needed. The other person may be snide af about it, or “hang you out to dry” and refuse. There’s no good news I’m seeing at this time, The Hanged Man is showing a need of a perspective switch, seeing things from a higher viewpoint. Endings lead to new beginnings, though I’m not sure you’ll be ready to consider that this month. Not yet. Saturn Pisces can show illusions and confusion, your own emotions turning against you. The bottom of the deck shows you need self-care, healing, and rest 🙏

April: 3 Wands & The High Priestess

Oracles: Escape & Patience

Zodiac Signs: Aries, Virgo Jupiter, Heavy Pisces Sun/Mars

I’m not sure if this month is about Procrastination or Timing, maybe both, yours are the first oracles that seem to apply every month, not just here and there. This is a month of fantasy 😵‍💫 and delusion on some level, but you have to dream your dreams in order to make them a reality, or manifest them, and it looks like that’s what you’re doing. You want to jump ship, start over, something passionate, fun, gets your blood pumping, makes you feel alive again! That could be anything, but whatever it is can’t be impulsively done (or you just have too much sense for that), Patience opposes this Escape energy to keep one foot in reality while your head is in the clouds. Fantasizing about what life could be like. It’s a welcome distraction from the heaviness & hurt you’ve experienced. For some this may be about a lover, dreaming up a new ideal, and for others this is about glowing up and taking charge of your life, doing what you’ve always wanted to do. Timing is definitely at play, so is karma, you know it’s not the right time because of xyz (maybe you need more money), but the idea is there and the goals are maybe being formulated. Played with at least. Money is being extravagantly spent on anything you could want with no regard for future saving/needs, you could go on a shopping binge and not even know how you spent $500+. Or that’s what you’re dreaming of. Lots of little amusements to distract you from heavy emotions. You could listen to music more or find a new artist you adore, concert tickets is probably one of these indulgences, but it would be for a later date with this anticipation energy, probably clothes to match & beauty products with Queen of Wands at the bottom.

May: King of Wands & The Chariot rev

Oracles: Practicality

Zodiac Signs: Pisces, Gemini, Capricorn Moon

King of Wands can be another person, someone you’re romantically involved with. Or it’s you, ready to take the actions you’ve been dreaming up in your head, you’ve waited for this day, anticipated change, passion, a new beginning that really makes you feel good…and then you’re blocked. Or this person is. What’s blocked differs. Some may have literal car or transportation issues. For others it’s work, an emergency pops up, or someone just has an excuse…whatever it is, it’s rooted in logic and practicality, and it’s a karmic situation for someone. Maybe someone is supposed to go to a concert with you and they don’t, or can’t, you could go with someone else at the last minute. Or you have car trouble and meet someone the day you have to walk to a place to buy a tire, maybe they work there. It doesn’t have to be bad, Wheel of Fortune (timing) is showing that whatever isn’t working out - is for a reason, and whatever is showing up - there’s also a reason. In some way, you have no control over what’s going on, but Spirit has your back and they’re putting the pieces into place so that you may receive what you need *when* you need it. Or, when they know you need it.

If you have car problems, this could be a lover (or ex?) stepping up to help, if that is sort of person they are. Practical, humble, still good looking. You could feel devastated all over again because they’re being nice to you. Or the pride burns, because you need help, and they’re the ones still willing. Or switch that. One of you is loving and kind, the other is detached and straight to the point, not entertaining romance, but may be being nice. You could put yourself in a financial pickle 🥒 helping someone else out, or paying them back because you don’t want any handouts from someone that doesn’t care, hurt you, something like that. Or if someone’s giving you rides, you’re paying them, and it’s expensive. Your pride is wounded, someone’s is 🙏 Separately, someone may not show up to a court hearing and automatically lose, or there are consequences for not showing up to something…work possibly.

June: 9 Wands rev & The Hermit

Oracles: Acquisition & Empathy

Zodiac Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Taurus, Pisces Moon

Pisces & Gemini, over and over again. Always with some grounded earth energy to keep you planted. One side of you (Pisces) is reaching for the exit point, dreaming up an escape, lost in daydreams and procrastinating per the oracles. Another side of you (Gemini) is endlessly curious, probably going down a rabbit hole or two, actually putting some intellectual effort into these daydreams. How much does a plane ticket cost? Looking at houses in other areas. Applying for jobs even. It’s an equal mix of fantasy & intellectual curiosity, “what would happen if I just did this” and then you make some sort of effort. Maybe. That’s that energy Spirit wants you to be in, whether you’re going after the right things…probably not, there are more months in this tortured stuckish energy.

Some of you had a plan, last month you were blocked from actually doing that, and this month you give up altogether. It’s not meant to be or it would happen. Could be relating to travel or relocation. Whether you are or you’re not, you’re giving up and throwing in the towel with some situation that’s only driven you crazy, in order to find new love, new passions, loving yourself and doing what’s best for yourself 👏

July: The Star & Knight of Wands rev

Oracles: Inheritance & Drama

Zodiac Signs: Leo Mercury, Scorpio Saturn

You’ve had it with sadness! Good for you. The first half of the year is pretty rocky, here’s hoping things start changing in this cycle you’re going through - which is being said as “the drama is inherited”. That’s deep. A parent or family member may have gone through something eerily similar, and you’re a generational curse breaker, doing things in the ways they didn’t, putting yourself first and telling this situation to fk right off. Queen of Cups & Ace of Cups is what keeps repeating as your dreams, what you fantasize about, what you *really* want. A new beginning. Without betrayal, pain, or bs weighing you down and making you feel terrible. Without fkboy/girl personalities that hurt you. Without temporary jobs and people you can’t rely on.

You’re still in a wounded energy, and you’re still dreaming of what could be - now that you know what you *don’t* want anymore, that makes it a little easier. You dream of leaving everything behind, but there’s practical planning being put behind that now. Some of you are starting to actively look for better opportunities online, jobs with perks and insurance, something stable. You know you won’t feel stable until you go after stable, and while you’re healing you’re realizing that’s what you need. People, jobs, living situations, vehicles, dreams even. 8th House Scorpio energy is powerful here, this situation has been a catalyst for a major “death” and transformation for you - which is what this whole year is about, endings. You will come out of this a different person, and that’s a good thing 🌸 #growth It’s supposed to be this way, your birth chart or transits probably mirror this energy, though no one deserves betrayal, on some level you signed up for this as a catalyst to get where you need to go. You wouldn’t go the way you’re going if you weren’t hurt when you did it, you know? It’s like that. I’m genuinely not making light of any pain 🙏 It’s just that after pain, even during, we still have to do something…sitting in it will just drive you crazy, and repeated 9 Swords show you’ve already been to that level and are trying to pull yourself out of it. Some of you, with help, maybe even professional, and that’s totally normal, that’s why they exist. Whatever you’re ending right now, could seem dramatic or spontaneous, but it’s for your highest good, one step closer to your dreams. Those of you fighting legal battles with an ex may suddenly decide it’s over, you’re done, they win, just end this and take what you want. A loss of money or shared resources seems to be part of this whole karmic situation. If not, a loss of money (child support? Alimony? Paying damages idk) could be the only thing keeping you from just moving on with your life.

August: The Devil & 2 Wands rev

Oracles: Speculation

Zodiac Signs: Capricorn, Aries, Cancer Jupiter

What on earth are y’all going through? The Devil clarified by The Emperor - 9 Swords, The Devil again, and 9 Wands at the bottom. Control at the bottom of the oracle deck, Capricorn Jupiter. I’m like yeah I can see that…good lord. This is family centered. Either you’re dealing with an ex spouse that has you by the cojones when it comes to custody, location, shared resources, children generally, and money…for some of you it could be a father. And for others it’s the law/police. If it’s a boss, it’s because you have families and things wrapped up in your life, you can’t just leave a toxic situation even though it’s toxic. This could be a father that threatens inheritance all of the time, a boss that threatens cutting hours or has toxic behavior you have to put up with, an ex or co-parent that has full control of the finances and kids. 9 Swords shows you being terrified of this controlling situation, and all the little power games involved, you’re afraid to be hurt. More, again, worse. So you play it safe, not so much that you’re a part of this, but you’re codependent to some level to whatever this is, so you’re stuck having to navigate through it.

Outside of that darkness, some of you may be facing consequences for your actions, I heard property damage earlier, substance abuse could be in here, anything regarding the law…you may be unable to leave the area you’re in, stuck doing community service, a loss of finances has been shown several times already, making payments to the ex for who knows how long? If you didn’t have extra money before, you definitely don’t now, you’re up to your neck in anxiety trying to figure out how to navigate this situation without fking yourself. Some of you allow a parent to control you, inheritance would be the example but whether one exists or not, your parent could be a hardass or someone intimidating, and you’re not about to piss them off - so you play it safe. Speculation is about doing things for the family unit, that’s involved no matter what you’re dealing with. If you were trying to move across the world and just bail, you’re not because of family, The Emperor would be you making solid decisions and abiding by a set standard of behavior, being responsible and taking control of a toxic situation or pattern of behavior. Some of you may be quitting addictions, whether by choice or by force (law, forced rehab…is that a thing? It’s here 🤷🏻‍♀️). Or a parent could be holding inheritance over your head *unless* you get clean or act right…that makes more sense.

September: The Fool & 9 Swords

Oracles: Defense

Zodiac Signs: Gemini, Aries, Taurus Sun/Mars

Mars Taurus can show resistance, stubbornness, fighting back. I don’t think it’ll work (if it’s forced/law) but you’re not going down easy that’s for sure. Though a new beginning is here, and is what you’ll inevitably choose, this being forced on you in some way really pisses you off. How dare they, the audacity. You’re afraid to be judged or you don’t like how you’ve been judged, you could feel deeply resentful towards A judge or their decision where you’re concerned. At the bottom, it’s like you waited for someone to “get theirs” and that didn’t happen, you’re getting yours and upset about it. It’s not fair. Timing ⏱️ You’re not the one in control here, Spirit keeps pushing that point. Well you are, but actions have consequences and some things are karmic, you have to move along with how things are going and where they’re headed, even if you’re not always the one driving the boat.

Others of you are fighting back against opposition, oppression, and some level of toxicity in someone/a situation you’re involved in. Whatever this new beginning is, you’re just doing it, hit the green button, full speed ahead. Are you worried, yeah, 9 Swords has followed you around all year, it’s amazing you can even function with the no sleep or mental rest you’ve been not getting for an entire year. Some of you are rushing into a new beginning simply because you’re defensive - some cases are totally valid and some are just being stubborn, or using this thing as the reason, maybe it is, maybe it’s just the thing to get you to finally act - because whatever this is isn’t new. You’ve thought about it all year. You’re terrified, worried, up to your neck in constant anxiety, but you’re doing it - you’ve waited long enough. Some of you may be getting something medical done in regards to sleep, which is shown as lacking all year long, maybe you’re just finally fixing your sleep schedule, cutting out caffeine, or getting a sleep study done. Once you take this leap into a new beginning, you fear the same cycles, same lessons, same bs haunting you. If it’s done, let it be done 💯 Even you seem aware that your life has been moving in cycles and you’re sick and tired of *this* one. Pluto will be back in Capricorn around this time through November, and as it’s wrapping up - so are you. The cycle WILL be done, for good.

October: 5 Wands, 8 Pentacles rev & 6 Pentacles

Oracles: Caution

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Taurus, Virgo Sun/Mercury

Inner conflict, could be outer too and people around you are chaotic or bringing drama into your life (still). You’re pulling back your energy from them, or anyone who isn’t reciprocating in the same way as you, anyone who doesn’t give back the same love, care, friendship, consideration, whatever - that you are. Good for you. Some of you may be out of a job, but aren’t really looking either, Procrastination, and your family could get on your case about it, assuming they’re the ones covering whatever expenses. Same goes for if you’re paying child support or something, and not working enough or not making enough, dodging payments, you’re extremely stressed about the effects of this and how much you’re going to be fkd later. You may be heading back to a lawyer (Hierophant) for this reason. Same can be said for counseling, drug rehabilitation, any official person you’re supposed to be talking to, maybe you can’t afford it anymore. You lost your insurance or it ran out. There is generosity here with 6 Pentacles, and family, I assume they’re helping you out, but there is heavy Caution with that…you don’t want to be manipulated, trapped, bound, or hurt. You could accrue a lot of debt this month that’s going to be harder to deal with the longer it goes, but there be no urgency from you, and Spirit is like 😳 Whatever you’re putting off, you have to do it, as soon as you can. I’m hearing at least try, Spirit can’t really help unless you’re trying. If you’ve quit a job out of anger or like…fk you, I’m out, you’re definitely regretting it this month, and you’re needing to move away from this crippling anxiety and fear, taking practical and intentional action, because you have to. If you’ve lost a job, you may be getting closer with your family, which is a plus. Some of you are taking a long hiatus or in order to pay full attention to something like rehab, medical issues, etc., and if you’ve quit altogether then your family is covering the costs…obv. that’s for people with money here.

November: Wheel of Fortune & Strength

Oracles: Submission & Riches

Zodiac Signs: Capricorn Saturn & Pisces Sun/Venus

Submission seems like the natural next step, you’re surrendering to the process of whatever this is. Fate, karma, consequences, whatever. 7 Cups clarifies as confusion, daydreams, substances, clouded vision, again you’re seeing a better future for yourself - but what does that take? Bottom has 9 Swords again. You’re worried about how much work is going to have to be put into something, how much you’ve already invested, and feeling trapped or hurt again. It’s like you’re bound to your own hurt at this point, that’s what’s actually keeping you stuck now. If you have romantic options, it’s like you know you’re a sentimental bean that easily falls for people (Pisces Venus), so you refrain from getting involved with anyone, maybe several people. Because of wounds, hurt, pain, deep worries and fears, rumination, and trauma. Understandable. Riches are here as what you’re dreaming of *now*, not love (smells like progress 🌺), and it’s potentially here for you - if you rise above this toxic cycle, addiction, what’s holding you back. Work for it, and Saturn will bless your efforts, it’s hard work and it’s intimidating, but you can definitely get there, or this wouldn’t be what came out. Being submissive is watching the chance pass you by, which some sort of addiction or substance may be involved in directing up until now.

December: 2 Pentacles

Oracles: Harmony

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Capricorn & Libra

Choosing peace, you can’t do this anymore. Pluto will have returned to Aquarius and while you’re cleaning up the last remnants of this decade+ of heavy opposition in however it’s affected you, it 👏 is 👏 a 👏 new 👏 day 👏 You’re still stressed to death about what comes next, this should be your card of the year fr. 12 months and 9 Swords has been at the bottom of almost every single one of them. You realize this has to stop, mental anguish, you’re gaining the clarity you need to head towards your new beginning - Ace of Swords and Ace of Cups. 4 Pentacles rev being the actual card of the year (throw 9 Swords on it too), shows RELEASE. Some things you can’t just let go of, but you also can’t stay in this record loop playing over and over and over again, keeping you up, making you sick, you literally never leave this energy all year. You have to 💯 Aim for clarity, talk to people, talk to counselors, find new things that make you happy, even if it’s learning a new language, a new show or podcast, create little routines around these things that bring you joy. Peace of mind. Calm. Prioritize that and protect Harmony within your life. This may be something you’ve suffered with a long time and are finally seeing someone about it, your’re getting the answers clarity you need. Could also be meeting someone new that changes things for you, romantically, or if not romantic then you share a passion or hobby, you get along really well with this person. If you’ve left a job, you’re coming to peace with having done so, either because you desperately need/ed a break, they were unfair, many reasons. You still worry though, and still need to attempt (at least) moving on to the new - which is also here for you as opportunities. Endings and new beginnings, it’s a lovely omen for 2025 and what that may bring, you genuinely have a fresh start, and have come a long way. Sending you guys a lot of love. You deserve whatever happiness is coming towards you…once you work for it (that’s repeated). Effort is a large point being made, Spirit can’t just bring it out if the sky and hand it to you, or they won’t, but they want to bless you so they’re like “just try”.

Risings are being highlighted strongly with this reading, and Gemini energy, Jupiter moving to your 12th in June will bring a lot of things to light in your own inner psyche, ultimately positive but can be difficult. Hidden enemies & secrets come to light, along with your own deep wounds and self-undoing (constant anxiety 💯). Spirit is supporting you, not against you, you’ve got an angel in your corner ready to jump in and help as soon as you make an effort somewhere healthy, positive - so long as it’s the right way for you. You’ll be led to what’s right, Wheel of Fortune (Jupiter), and you won’t even have to question it. Have faith and trust the process when you actually don’t have any control, and if you know you could do more - then do more.

[allieebobo]

ALLIE OKAY SO I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO REPLAYING CT:OS (bc i never got around to the newest update) AND??????? I'M SO INSANE ABOUT IT (no surprises there tbh)

i just. i am absolutely floored at how u make all ur characters so loveable and just damn funny HAHAHAH like????? i love all their interactions and banter so so much >:) i just love the way u write it's witty and funny and genuine and has so much character but never overwhelming aughhhhh i love ur writing so much!!! the prose is my fave (which is saying a lot bc the mechanics are also superb)

the tennis mechanics are just plain fun like. it's a well oiled machine and so so so awesome to see in action!!! well balanced so that it doesn't feel confusing or unfair but still rewarding when u win!!!! also ur prose aughhhh thru good balancing of the mechanics but mostly your writing the tennis matches are always appropriately tense and important feeling and exhilarating and so so fun!!!!

also in love w literally all ur ros like????? rare is the interactive fiction where i adore ALL ros and want to try out all their routes and this is to do w ur great writing tbh like. they're all whole ppl and it's so cool to see them interact w everyone else!!

seriously like. i love rayyan w my whole heart; gruff, intense, and dedicated but clearly cares abt their family and friends (and, gasp, mc) adore the lil soft moments we get and also the really hot ones

and then there's tobin which????? I JUST. I LOVE THEM SM THEY'RE SO NICE AND COOL AND CHARMING AND REALLY. REALLY SWEET

and then sam???? okay look i'm the biggest sucker for friends to lovers and by god AUGHHH the pining. the care and affection that just oozes from every action and every word said. THE PINING

last but far from least G????? my annoying smartass bro i love G so alluring and so funny and goddamn smartass is the word for them

okay done gushing abt ct:os byeeee take care <33

Wait. Have I not replied to this???? I could've sworn I did but lo and behold I find this gem of an ask in my inbox again and it made me grin and twirl my hair once more.

So anyway, I never fail to be FLOORED by your messages--they are always so delightful to read. Every day that I receive one of these long-ass love-asks from you continues to be a good day in my book!

I am so glad you enjoy the mechanics because the matches always take a looong ass time to code! Too many branchy thingies. Also I have a ratty old notebook paper where I wrote how the stats would work and it's always so cool to see what I had planned for CT:OS almost 2 years ago now and how far it has come since then!

I LOVE that all the characters have gotten ahold of you somehow.

Sending you my love and wishing you the very best week ahead.

[whichwoods]

Hey so i had sent you a long ask a while back saying (saying a looong variation of:) i don't always comment on lsts but i hope you know it's an amazing fic loved by many. Idk if you saw it but i'm seeing you share things about struggling to write so just hoping you're okay and not being too hard on yourself.

I also saw the spoiler post you shared so if you'd like, I'd love to hear about what you have in mind next for the fic or just more world building fun facts, I love the universe and would die for cumbs 🖤

+I'm interested in learning more about your Daemon too (his reaction alongside corlys' are my most awaited lmao) did he have more time with alyssa in this universe? Were his antics and daemyra controversial for the gp or just regular targ shenanigans?

There was this part "Luke thinks he’s starting to understand Daemon’s stare in the mirror — he finds him pitiable, but in the way one does a bug missing all its legs or one of its wings, something better off squashed. " so I'm interested about his relationship with the velaryon boys if you'd like to elaborate

Thank you again and sending you well wishes!!

hiiii, thank you so much for this sweet message and the one before it! 💕 i have been behind on my replies but your kind words and others i've received mean so much :)

i have been a little stumped on certain parts of the next chapter but hoping the end is in sight — also though, my life's just a bit busier than it used to be 🥲 mostly good things! i promise any stuff i reblog or post about struggling to write is just me lightheartedly poking fun at myself 💕

for a spoiler — pre-situationship lucemond and jace once took (read: were sent by their moms on) a road-trip to pick aegon up from rehab. aegon, not wanting to go back to king's landing, gave them the address of one in dorne that'd been closed for a decade. luke has so many photos of jace kneeling in the desert from when they found out, in dorne 💀 (aegon was in the riverlands)

(footage from luke's phone, circa 5 years before the events of lsts: a shaky zoom in of jace, many yards away, staring off into the distant dunes with a defeated stance. aemond's voice, flat: "this is fucked up." camera pans to him, looking disgruntled and ridiculous in sunglasses, zinc, and a protective hat)

ngl daemon's real-time reaction to the pregnancy news fell a bit out of the story's scope while i was writing lmao 😭 i promise him being more relegated to the background has a purpose! for those curious, daemon probably would've condescendingly chuckled at them if he was there 💀

alyssa still dies when daemon is fairly young because i think something like losing a parent significantly alters a character and how i portray them, and the age it happens matters too, so i tried to keep certain deaths in line with canon! for the same reason laena still dies when rhaena and baela are about 6 (and daemon only waits 6 months to marry rhaenyra, which is still outrageous by modern westerosi standards 🫠). same with the velaryon boys and harwin dying around the same time as them "losing" laenor — though that'll be explored more later :)

thank you again!! be well, anon :)💕

[johnnysuhbmarine]

hiiii😁😁just wanted to tell u that ive read almost all ur works lol and i absolutely love them!!! u have a very beautiful way to write and put things together (idk how to express it honestly jsjsjjsjs) bc i just read the texts w dreamies and its so comforting and nice and idk!!! i think the art that we do reflects our person and ur way with writing is really beautiful it must be nice to be ur friend/lover because the way u express things🤌🤌🤌beautiful🫦

ALSO i loooooooved too good to be fake pls🙏🙏🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️its been a looong time since this app had such good fics🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ im kinda in love w ur brain ig🫤🫤 ill be seated waiting for more of ur work!!!🪑🪑muak💋💋

Okay so- now I’m in tears. This is so nice wtf am I supposed to do after reading this message

To be so open and honest, my high school teachers used to constantly criticize my writing and tell me I would never be good as a writer (worth noting, my college professors thought I popped off when turning in written work and told me at the end of semesters they would miss my writing, so maybe the high school teachers were just particularly mean 💀)…and I’ve believed for the longest time that I don’t know what love looks like - so hearing that you find my writing and the way I express emotions beautiful is genuinely so healing for the 17 year old girl still in me.

Also “ur way with writing is really beautiful it must be nice to be your friend/lover” WHY DID YOU GO FOR THE KILL SHOT THERE OMG IM BAWLING MY EYES OUT I LOVE YOU

Back to it, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my works. I think I’ve said it before but Too Good to be Fake is the first one I genuinely have no regrets about, so seeing such positive reactions to it has been so comforting. I’m looking forward to releasing more stuff this year that I can be proud of, too, but it warms my heart knowing even my older stuff is so loved by a lot of you ❤️

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

what did you send that sandbox guy?

You know what's crazy? Exactly 1 day ago at like 2am, I sent that guy a looong message. It was this:

Hello :)

The Poptropica community is very worried and scared about the franchise right now. The official blog hasn't been updated in months, and neither has it's social medias. We understand if it's been harder to make money from the game lately, and the conversation from Flash to HAXE has been hard on all of us.

Me and other fans have different ideas on how you can make money from the franchise and keep it going, while also doing some new things with it and introducing it to a new generation.

Some years ago, the graphic novels were created. There was originally a plan for 12 novels, but a few spin-offs, and the entire story had been planned out. But unfortunately, only 4 out of 12 of the novels had been created. There was also a plan to make a TV show of it, and pitch it to a streaming service.

(For more information, please read these: https://poptropi.ca/2023/11/04/new-sheriffs-sink/)

(https://poptropi.ca/2021/06/21/poptropicas-problems-animated-series/)

It's still possible to do that! Sandbox and Co own the entire story now, so if you guys still have it you can still do it. If you guys lost it, you can contact Jess Brallier (<jess.m.brallier@gmail.com>) and ask him.

There are also plenty of fans on the Poptropica Discord (https://discord.gg/tJFdb3y) who have plenty of ideas for you guys!

We all just love and care about this franchise so much. The storytelling, the game play, the characters, the world, etc etc. We don't want to see the franchise fall into obscurity because it deserves so much more!

Please respond! Thank you.

Also I'm messaging you because you're literally the only person besides myself that liked my comment asking about Poptropica lol. Yes I liked my own comment. Only so people wouldn't think that I liked my own comment. Because now my comment has TWO likes 😂

Please respond! Thank you.

He hasn't responded yet. Cause it's a lot to take in and research, and it's only been a day XD

But I don't doubt that after he does all the research needed to form a good response, he'll respond.