#like you are in HEALTHCARE. CARE ABOUT MY HEALTH
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I'm not going to kick the beehive and respond on the large post, but honestly it is disheartening to see people comment in the ACA post's tags with "everyone but xyz group" sentiments :/
It's easy to want worse for people who you feel wronged you, and I am not immune to that either! But when talking about something meant for everyone, like affordable healthcare, you HAVE to mean everyone. This is for people you love, hate, or feel nothing towards. This system works best when everyone can access it. There should be NO disqualifier to healthcare w/ dignity, period! If you voted one way, if you didn't vote at all, if you disparage the ACA or not, I don't care when it comes to YOUR ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE.
You will often find unifying footholds when it comes to wanting basic care for people around you, even those who don't give that respect to you. I frequently say I have had to learn how to professionally eat shit bc there is nothing you can say to me that makes me change my mind about your right to a life of health, support, and dignity as a foundational belief. And I have heard some SHIT! Honestly, it is more radical to continue to help as you can than cut people out.
How do you reach people? Put down the ego reflex for a moment and look for where they have been failed. Listen without judgment and often there is a thread of "Oh, we actually have a solution to that" you can offer to people. I cannot control if they change their minds or if they take up the offer to look through benefits, but I can make the process of changing their minds or accepting help non-judgmental with me.
You should not want anyone to be without access to medical care, I don't care the reason. The ACA is literally for everyone, even those you hate.
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God the nurse that drew my blood today was such a fucking asshole. I asked her to use an alcohol pad before doing it cause its not standard in the uk for some terrifying reason and she acted like it was the worst inconvenience of her life. And then she like went to find my vein and huffed and was like well NOW i cant touch it again to find it what am i supposed to do. Like girl you are a fucking adult rub your fingers with the pad or WEAR A PAIR OF FUCKING GLOVES MAYBE. And then she stabbed me really hard im pretty sure on purpose. Like jesus christ sorry i dont want sepsis from one bacteria getting in my bloodstream cause youre too much of a baby to get a fucking alcohol pad
#it was so fucked#like you are in HEALTHCARE. CARE ABOUT MY HEALTH#and dont throw a fucking fit cause i ask you to do something for my sake thats what youre paid to do#she was like let me go look in the other room we dont have any in here#and she came back all huffy like UGH the door to the other room is closed with a patient#so i cant get one. DONT YOU HAVE A FUCKING SUPPLY CLOSET OR SOMETHING#glad she happened to find one tossed in a drawer#but jesus christ have some fucking compassion#diary
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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#just saw a post that was like 'if you have religious or moral objections that stop you from providing certain types of medical care maybe#you shouldn't work in healthcare' (paraphrased) and...#what a way to look at the world tbh#like. they're talking about me i think - i am a conscientious objector when it comes to euthanasia#(which granted has come up exactly twice and both cases in a theoretical capacity only this is not a frequent request to me)#and... i am also a good doctor#last week i told someone that her weight doesn't matter to her health with receipts to prove it and she cried#no one had ever told her that before#and that was something that came from me specifically. that was something i would not trust all of the GPs in my practice - a practice of#excellent and compassionate GPs! - to say#i am verifiably doing good in my job that is coming from specifically who i am as a person#i cannot put that down when it comes to issues i care deeply about#fundamentally the fact that i cannot put it down is what makes me a good doctor#i think that's what i'm trying to get at#the reason that i do well by my patients is that i practice out of my values and my ethics#if i did not stand on that core i would not stand at all#so you can't have it both ways. you can't have engaged and active and compassionate healthcare providers without sometimes those engaged an#active providers having things they do not feel comfortable doing#and it is to everyone's service if they are up front about it and do not try to hide (i am suspicious of people who try to hide this)#i am literally figuring this all out as i type hence the v long tag ramble and also being nowhere near the post that started this train#(honestly in med school we talked so much about ethics as like. abortion! euthanasia! trans rights! and the ethics in practice is the littl#things. do you apologise when you mess up. how do you manage a consult with your patient with paranoid dementia and her child in the same#room at one time - or one by one bc that's fraught too. (that one's on top i had one of those today.) how do you act with grace when#you're a bit stressed and your patient is a bit stressed and the nurse wants to add five more things to your book. the day to day ethics is#SUCH a bigger thing when you come to actual practice.)#this is obviously entirely about me and leans on the fact that i largely do think i am doing a good job i am really feeling my own way#to a Thought. but i think to a certain extent it is generalisable
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Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.
I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.
Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.
I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.
#'we really dont think youre adhd so were not even going to let you pay to check again'#WHAT#thats an option?#they can just say that they really dont think its a problem for me so they wont waste their time?#the first fuckwit that assessed me said im too fucking smart to have adhd!!#thats not a fucking compliment and every professional ive spoken to since then has said 'yesh thats not right tey for reassessment'#i just had to write this down because#this morning i was showering before work and they called me and left a message#so i checked the message right before work cuz i saw it was them and i assumed they wanted to set up the reassessment#because i got a referral. but theur message literally just said that bullshit#and because it was right before work i had to pack that away#because trying to deal with that in addition to a shift at fucking mcdonalds wouldve killed me#but because i set it aside i just keep forgetting about it. so i needed to write this down to remind myself#that this is my life and this is the bullshit i get to deal with in this life#im so tired. i dont even know what to say here. what to think or anything#'youre too smart to have adhd. we're so sure of that that we're not gonna check again. waste someone else's time. bye!'#i wish the world worked the way healthcare 'professionals' think it works#what a beautiful world it would be. you could lose weight just by trying and when you lose weight all of your health problems disappear!#you cant have any mental health problems if you are smart or seem kinda normal or are a woman#i am resisting the urge to. i don't even know. i want to do something angry and destructive but i don't even care#at least now i dont have to drive two hours and pay $160 just to be told that i am too smart to have problems#and actually all of my problems are due to my anxiety and the fact that im female#god i wish that was the case. ill go on t if it makes my problems valid. would you like that?#what do i have to do to convince people i have problems? i will fully physically transition to be taken more seriously#would that help?? would that fucking help???????????????#anyway. i was about to say i wish i wasnt mentally ill. but i dont#being mentally ill is chill. its like a roommate that lives up there and weve lived together awhile so its chill#the only problem are the idiots they pay to deal with mental illness. at this point i dont think they have qualifications#theyre just bringing in men off the street. and theyre the real problem. goodnight folks#dont have the audacity to be mentally ill in this economy. its not worth it
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#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed#there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn#and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now#like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii#rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions#i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me#when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit#and that's all large scale#that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit#or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little#or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself#or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY#(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market#but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much#and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me#like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant#and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now#I'm so tired#just... fuck man#tag rant#i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health#i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere
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If 🔪 all those politicians, ceos, and those who perpetuate the nightmare American healthcare system that only exists to prey and profit off from human lives would stop it, I'd do it even if it means cutting down half of my lifespan or going to purgatory. If it means people won't have to suffer anymore, I would.
#cuz such sick fkcn Evil shouldn't exist#they don't NEED that kind of money. but the health care system is built to make profit 100%.#so many ppl suffering at their expenses in 1st world country like America is ridiculous#I was ranting about this with a paramedic not too long ago and I agree#calling an ambulance costs $2000 alone and shit shouldn't be like this#and med professions don't have much control over it#and medical admins not run by actual doctors and med professionals who knows how it goes but only trained to make $$$#have no fuckin clue how to run a hospital. they know how to make money that's it#may they burn#system is built to fuck someone over either way. refuse Care and you get sick. you accept the care and now you're riddled with heavy debt#shut up cici#cici venting#healthcare#fuck this country's system#If I don't have my health insurance anymore which I can easily lose#then I'm in real trouble with all the mental health meds I'm on..#sorry I need to let this out#idk if purgatory exists but if it does
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a brief note:
i’m not usually very eloquent with my words, so if this is rough and i say something wrong or offensive, please forgive me, it’s been hard to piece together the right words. if there’s spelling errors, this is not proofread, and I’m sorry.
I’ve always maintained that writing and this blog is a safe space for me, a place to escape from the real world when I need it. but right now, what’s going on in the world isn’t something I can escape from. it’s robbed me of my sleep and my sanity. and honestly, writing and kpop just don’t even seem like valid enough escapes anymore, even though I feel immensely privileged to have these escapes in the first place. I feel numb. but it’s not even about me or this blog or any wips I have.
if you have five minutes to scroll through my blog, or any other kpop blog on Tumblr, I urge you to take another five minutes out of your day and learn about what’s going on in Gaza right now. do your own research, and uplift voices that aren’t being heard.
the beauty of being here is being able to connect with so many people far away, across the country or even across the world. if we can use our energy to celebrate our groups and our faves, we can also do the reverse.
life as we know it is being uprooted for so many people, the least we can do is be cognizant of that, to give some of our energy to mourn their losses and grieve alongside them. even better yet, we can hope alongside them that this reality doesn’t have to endure, that more innocent lives will not be lost.
if you get nothing else from this, I’ll leave you with this — if you’ve also been like me, feeling completely scared and horrified by what’s been unfolding, i see you. i feel your pain, and if you’re grieving, i feel your loss. i ask you to remember those on the other side of this who have a right to be even more scared and even more horrified, and who deserve your attention. the world is a complex and hard to understand place, but at the same time, it’s not. it’s brutal and violent. Please remember, that far beyond and political or religious debates, foreign economic and social policy, etc, when oppressors and bullies square off, and when people are power hungry, innocent lives are always in the middle of it. and that should be something that none of us are willing to be okay with.
if you want to stop reading here, that’s totally okay, otherwise check the tags to listen to me ramble on
#as a healthcare worker I can tell you the public health crisis that is unfolding right now as a result of greed and the desire for power#should be appalling to you#also this is not to meant to be a call out to anyone on my dash - just an explanation as to where my head is and why I can’t think straight#about writing or anything#the queue will continue to run#the fics will be written one day#but right now is not the moment for that#also like I said before I’m not engaging in any discourse on this blog - this isn’t something that benefits from people who are far removed#from the situation sitting thousands of miles away and debating about what ifs#when atrocities are unfolding in real time#like I said before it’s been hard for me and so many others to speak up or find the words to voice what’s been weighing so heavily on us#so in return all anyone asks if your kindness and ability to listen and to care#and it doesn’t even have to be on Tumblr - but I just hope that for energy anyone is giving bts/svt/atz/skz and others you’re also willing#to give that energy to humans irl#which shouldn’t even have to be said#but I said it anyway#personal#isi rambles#free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
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I maybe potentially (most likely) have covid but my job is being so fucking cagey about if I’m going to be on the receiving end of disciplinary action for not coming in because of it. I have multiple symptoms of it and was in close contact for an extended period of time with two people who have tested positive for it. I went to get an official test from an urgent care place (because I was told I need proof for my job), and was told it would be up to 48 hours until I get results and until then I needed to self isolate and then obviously continue if the test is positive. They wrote me a note saying to excuse me from my job which I emailed to them. But they keep emailing me like “well the cdc says isolation is no longer necessary so…. If you don’t have a fever you’re supposed to come in” and now I’m so paranoid that I’m going to get write ups for not coming in despite having a literal doctor’s note telling me not to because all covid protections have been so thoroughly axed and it’s treated like any “normal” illness (though this shouldn’t be okay for ANY illness, not just covid) and if you don’t have sick time (which most places don’t supply at all, or if they do, it’s a dismal amount) you have to come in or experience the consequences and I’m just 🙃🙃🙃 so anxious about it and also I fucking hate this country for putting MILLIONS of people in this position where they have to choose between not going work but risking being fired and losing their livelihoods which leads to SO many risks if you have no safety net (and most people don’t) OR going in because you just don’t have a choice but you’re miserable and actively spreading highly infectious diseases to multiple other people. I truly don’t understand how there are people who look at this system and act like it’s fine
#I’m lucky enough that my job won’t straight up fire me#I’ll likely get a write up I think but I’ve never had one before and we’re so chronically understaffed that I won’t be fired#it’s still nerve wracking though…#and I know most people don’t even have THAT much of a safety net#I just straight up don’t understand how jobs can straight up be like ‘we don’t care that you have a doctor’s note come in anyways or we’re#writing you up’ like how is that fucking legal#because it’s America and all we care about is profit and controlling everything about a person’s life I know that#but still#not to mention the classism of the fact that most ppl can’t even get doctor’s notes anyways#that in of itself is a privilege#but Jesus fucking Christ#like I’m not going in tomorrow cuz I’m waiting on test results and healthcare professionals have told me to isolate#but the fact that I’m in this position at all is insidious#jobs should just be like ‘okay! got it! see you when the isolation period is over and/or you’ve been cleared by a doctor’#the fact that it’s ANY other response is deeply evil imo#never mind my health like I’ll be fine I’m a mostly healthy person#but everyone I could potentially infect that could then experience LIFE ALTERING or maybe even ending consequences????#I know it’s been said before but the flippant disregard for human life is so….#like I said I genuinely think it’s cartoonishly evil that it works this way#and if you try and argue against it or point out it shouldn’t be this way you’re just some crazy lazy commie or whatever#lord#kaz rambles
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well friends I have officially joined the Chronic Pain Club, it’s not great to be here, there’s a chance it’s only temporary but my gut says ‘hmm many doubts’ and I won’t really know for a couple of weeks anyway until my doctors appointment. So. Been navigating that for four days and well we’re navigating at least
#there’s some sort of apollo prophecy dodgeball meme joke here#re me being close to many people w/ chronic pain/illness and being a strong empath#and already using spoon theory periodically for the mental health shite#‘ha ha wow this is so useful I’m glad spoonies consider mental health strugglers part of this too!’ and then I need you to imagine#that very specific TUNK sound a dodgeball makes#those thoughts have been living in my brain this weekend. anyway#mark and di if you happen to see this. TUNK (the dodgeball sound)#maybe it’s more irony than prophecy but as I said the thoughts have been there#I went to urgent care then the er thurs night because I spent an entire workday and over 8 hrs in severe abd pain#and it started on the lower right side so of course worried about appendix/gallbladder/etc#urgent care said yeah go to the er cause no matter what you need diagnostic imaging#and they asked have you ever had ovarian cysts I said no but my mom has (there’s thoughts it can be genetic)#do an ultrasound and sure enough I’ve got em!#and doing some reading up after the fact ‘most are asymptomatic and go away on their own!’ I was like well fuck#I mean that’s great but I’ve already failed the requirements I had STRONG symptoms#ibuprofen didn’t do a thing for the pain. until yesterday the hydrocodone they prescribed was all that would#yesterday experimented with three ibuprofen and that does help thankfully#so yeah needless to say I’m not very optimistic this is a ‘goes away on it’s own’ kinda cyst#but my obgyn is really booked and even squeezing me in/getting me in sooner is two weeks away#which is okay I get it healthcare is a mess#but yeah that means chronic pain for the foreseeable future#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is#we’re navigating at least that’s all I can ask for#very glad I have today off because it was a very eventful weekend and I need an additional rest day lmao#but started off with low spoons because didn’t sleep well + pain so we’ll see how today goes#Cassie rambles#chronic pain shite#I have the mental health shite tag. might as well start that one lmao /cries
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This guy sitting here saying ooh I’ll finish my coffee in ten min and then go take a shower well it’s been fifteen minutes bitch and my Lyft is coming in thirty with or without you.
Don’t fuckin sigh like this is stressful for you when I remind you that you need to start getting ready to go five minutes ago bitch I’m the one goin to the doctor to see if there’s something severely wrong with my goddam internal organs, you’re just here for support stop making me stressed because you’re eternally late and even more inifinitely uncaring that this messes shit up for other people
#rant#sorry folks just deeply stressed#love my dad but but honestly a bit furious right now#he always pulls this shit#always late and doesn’t give a damn but right now it’s fuckin important#not just for support but also bc I frankly don’t really know about everything like insurance or doctor visits as an adult yet#given that I became one during the pandemic era kind of#and also he’s the one with the healthcare and without it I’m screwed and def do not have enough money to pay#given that I live in#America#with America’s#health care system#and bitch this isn’t an#adhd mood#I’ve got that too#and I’ve been ready since ten this morning#you just give less of a shit about being ready for my possibly deeply serious doctors appointment#than about drinking your fucking coffee#fuck dude#goddamn
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girls who only know how to rage bolus....
#the thing about diabetes burnout is that shes an unrelenting bastard and i havent cared about my health in months#idk im just full of so much grief and idk where to put any of it.. like. argh#losing something and then losing it all over again. or whatever#funniest thing about all of this is that my piece of shit healthcare team have decided to ghost me and im overdue check ups#that i normally wouldnt want bc they suck but for the first time ever its like hey im struggling in a way you could help with#and theyre like sorryyyy were too busy atm :)#anyway whatever. whats diabetes lol. wdym so much of my life is entirely built around it lolololol you never hear/see it so its not real :)#shut up daisy
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What makes you react to what's happening in Gaza? and What makes you care about human lives? Is it empathy, ideology, culture, religion, knowledge, or something else that compels you to feel and act?
What would push your government to stop saying, "Israel has the right to defend itself"? What would make columnists stop focusing on self defense and what the demonstrators or students are doing "wrong" and instead use their platform to pressure their government to do what's "right" to stop this ongoing genocide? When did you start caring, and when will you start acting?
Is it when you have Palestinian friends?
When Palestinian children begged for food, safety, and water?
When over 45000 Palestinians had been killed & 98000 injured ?
When left-wing political parties around the world started criticizing Israel?
When Palestinian and Israeli human rights organizations sounded the alarm for years?
When protesters took to the streets every week? Do you still hear their voices?
When human rights organizations like Amnesty International or Human Rights Watch documented the atrocities? Was 60 years of human rights violations not enough?
When journalism associations worldwide recorded an unprecedented number of journalists killed in such a short period?
When UN agencies like the World Food Program or UNRWA reported on the humanitarian disaster and worsening famine?
When aid organizations like Doctors Without Borders or the Red Cross warned of the total collapse of healthcare?
When child rights organizations like Save the Children or UNICEF constantly reported on children’s acute physical and mental health crises?
When Jewish groups like Jewish Voice for Peace declared, "Not in my name"?
When the International Criminal Court in The Hague found strong evidence of crimes against humanity and began prosecuting high-ranking officials? Are you waiting for the court to tell you act?
When your children were upset after hearing what was happening in Gaza? Did that stir your parental instincts?
When the EU's foreign policy chief, Josep Borrell, repeatedly urged Israel to stop the killings?
When your favorite artist spoke out—did that make you reflect?
When students protested at universities around the world? Does the passion of young people give you hope?
When the Pope made a statement about the situation?
When military experts reported how many bombs Israel had dropped on Gaza?
When 2.5 million people were displaced under bombardment, with nowhere to escape in Gaza—a place already called the world’s largest open-air prison even before October 7?
When your employer gave you permission to speak out?
Are you waiting for Joe Biden to say the red line has been crossed and stop sending weapons?
Or are you waiting for Donald Trump to say the magic words: "Enough is enough"?
Or for Benjamin Netanyahu to say "Oh sorry that was a mistake"?
Or are you waiting for God Almighty to come down and say, "Enough is enough"?
Or for the most extreme elements in the Israeli government to say, "Now we can stop bombing"—but will there be any Palestinians left in Gaza by then?
Or will you stop waiting and act now, driven by empathy, knowledge, and solidarity with people who are being oppressed right in fornt or your eyes?
I’ve lost over 200 family members, friends, and neighbors in this genocide. I have 24 of my family’s members and 2 orphaned children, trapped in a makeshift tent and struggling to survive in this freezing winter in Gaza. Is that not enough to move you to act? Tell me then when ?—when will your humanity compel you to step in? Please, act now and donate!
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead.
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#palestine#help gaza#facts#yemen#jerusalem#current events#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#palestine news#war on gaza#fuck the idf#palestinian resistance#israel#tel aviv
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we just truly can't have productive conversations about depression and chronic pain until we recognize the latter's role in causing the former. and obviously the relationship there is significantly more complex than that, but the basic sentiment holds true. i'm always torn between phrasing my experiences in a way that forces doctors to acknowledge this connection, and knowing that in certain cases, admitting to the ongoing presence of any depression or depression-adjacent emotions surrounding my physical health could potentially lead to massive delays in adequate treatment as i embark on the tedious process of proving the absence of any 'mental health issues' in order to have the physical ones taken seriously. like, come on. you know that's not how this works, right?
#post#thankfully not inspired by anything i'm CURRENTLY experiencing and honestly as i've gotten older i encounter this less and less#possibly due to a combination of changes in attitudes by healthcare providers (thank goodness)#and also changes in attitude of my own (i was taken SIGNIFICANTLY less seriously as a child/young adult of course)#i am still kind of mad about my pre-surgical questionnaire a few years ago#when theyre like 'have you ever wanted to die?' i wanted to be like i am in excruciating and untreated pain. do you want the real answer?#or the answer that's going to get me into the operating room without putting me through the rigamarole of performative care#nasty and horrid#like no i don't want to talk to your psychologist about how life is precious#if life is so precious perhaps you should channel more resources into pain management & reproductive health issues#think. on. that.#sorry this is legit traumaposting but i'm also just mad at how the relationship btwn depression/anxiety#and physical issues are discussed... honestly how that relationship is constructed#when you try so hard to split mind from body you end up sounding so so silly
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TRANS OHIOANS - START STOCKPILING YOUR HRT AND PLAN HOW YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CONTINUE YOUR TRANSITION CARE
Ohio has taken a page out of Florida’s book and is proposing to effectively ban adult transition care via the requirements of numerous specialists - a psychiatrist, endocrinologist, and a bioethicist.
Since most trans people get their HRT from nurse practioners via the informed consent model, this will create undue burden on both trans people and the medical system -- the bottlenecks will effectively ban transition care for adults. This is what has happened in Florida, and Ohio's rules look much more draconian and surveiliance-heavy. All trans healthcare will be reported to the state.
These new rules have not taken effect yet. Trans Ohioans should plan for the worst now.
The rules are open to public comment through 5pm Friday, Jan 19, 2024. The full copy of the rules and how to comment are below:
https://mha.ohio.gov/about-us/rules-and-regulations/rules/draft-rules/gender-transition-care
As a Floridian who saw the writing on the wall and fled his state (my clinic hasn't been allowed to fill HRT prescriptions since May 2023 now) -- do not delay on making preparations. If this is approved, the rules will likely catch everyone by surprise. Start talking with your providers now and plan out your options assuming the ban will take place.
Informed folks to follow on Twitter:
Alejandra
Erin
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Whenever I talk about the medical neglect and ableism I've encountered as a victim of the healthcare system, there's always some cockwaffle who feels entitled to come into my inbox and make the argument of "not all doctors" while talking about how "people like them" (because it's always someone in a field of medicine who does this) are doing their best and it's really hard because so many people fake being ill to get on welfare (Yikes), but like, yeah, obviously #not all doctors, because if all doctors were negligent, bullying scum bags, I'd be dead.
But here's the thing: while I truly believe that the majority of doctors are doing their best in a system stacked against them and their patients, their presence does not negate the mass harm caused by the bad ones. And there are far more bad ones than you realize.
Fuck, John Oliver literally did a segment on this last week:
youtube
Yes, the truly bad, malicious doctors are in the minority. Most are just horrifically burned out and fighting a losing battle against a system, killing both them and their patients through a lack of funding and resources and profound overwork.
But the malicious ones do exist, and they will go out of their way to harm patients who don't kowtow to them.
I almost lost my life because when I was in my early twenties, I told a doctor I didn't think she was listening to me, and I disagreed with her assessment of my mental health (she was not a mental health doctor, and I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain). She retaliated by putting "non-compliant" in my file.
There was also a fun little "doesn't show respect" note too that lives rent-free in my head because I know I wasn't rude. I was polite. I just didn't agree with her, and my refusal to accept her off-handed comment that "you probably have bipolar or BPD" (again, I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain) meant I was "refusing care."
I wasn't. I just refused to be slapped with a mood/personality disorder when I was there because I kept fucking fainting when I stood up.
(Spoiler alert: it was dysautonomia)
That "non-compliant" marker followed me around for years. It followed me across an ocean and effectively ensured that any doctor I saw was going to treat me like absolute dogshit because no one wants to help Difficult Patients. It wasn't until I was so undeniably ill, literally on the brink of death, that anyone helped me.
I'm alive because of a good doctor. And all the good ones that came after him because of him.
So, I know they exist. You don't have to tell me that.
But I really fucking need you to acknowledge the bad ones and that you're part of a system with a long, long history of abusing minorities and vulnerable people. I need you to acknowledge that because it's the only way we're going to survive this godforsaken nightmare and make things better.
So yeah, #notalldoctors, but if you feel the need to say that because someone talking about being literally left to die by the medical system hurts your feelings, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back and ask yourself if you're going into medicine for the right reasons.
Namely: do you want to help people, even the "difficult" ones?
Even the ones who might disagree with you?
Even if they're on welfare?
Even if they'll never get "better" in a way that means "cured"?
Just a thought. But hey, what do I know. I'm just someone who experienced hemolytic anemia because doctors kept telling me I was anxious and needed to exercise more 🤷♀️.
#chronic health tag#medical abuse#medical neglect#medical#ableism#to all the good health care workers who follow me and leave supportive comments: I appreciate you so much#but you need to come get your fellow drs#and idk#give 'em a shake or something#Youtube
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